#like. wow i wonder why that's the case

[selfnss]

// i wanted to write tonight but im just an eepy guy today.... work was Not fun and i'm not looking forward to tomorrow thanks to my boss' antics recently soooooo im just gonna go to bed and maybe harass some people's inboxes if the mood strikes i think...

[youhavethewrong]

do you guys remember when Attack On Titan had a fucking Looney Tunes Babies style spin off where all the characters were in junior high and the titans were just bullies and eren was mad at them because they ate his hamburg steak and it was legitimately better than the original

[wanderingtopic]

Oh! Do the kids in the experiments age like that in Stampede because they’re forcing them to grow at the rate of a plant? Like how Vash was like, a preteen after one year?

[thedrotter]

sweet sweet re:kinder community... I would like to ask y'all how you came upon the game and your experiences with it because i wanna know. im genuinely so curious to hear about other people's experiences and little opinions about this game because of how wild the game is (/pos) I'd love to hear it. do ramble to me about it

[shirogane-oushirou]

meowdy... <3

[butchpeabody]

the discussion about hair removal wrt transfeminity is so frustrating to me bc like....yes it sucks that being completely hairless is the standard for women but the fact that it Is the standard isnt changing anytime soon and taking that out on random trans women who just want to pass better is doing nothing for anyone. systemic change does not happen by attacking your sisters who are disproportionately affected by these standards when they feel they have no choice but to adhere when theyre already marginalized !!!

[freakoutgirl]

very funny to me that when i'm going through old emo bands in this nostalgia phase i'm going through, i do know that some of them i'm cringing at i cringed at during the time because even then i knew it was bad

[galaxywhale]

just occurred to me that “my brain has been fighting me and I have to keep forcing myself to brush my teeth lately” and “brushing my teeth is making me gag a lot super easily lately” are perhaps more related that I realised

[emotionalcadaver]

You guys. So my mom just tore into me because I decided not to go on this daytrip thing that my parents have planned to do tomorrow. Even though she literally told me that I didn’t have to go if I didn’t want to. Ma’am!? You literally offered that I didn’t have to go. Don’t offer that if you weren’t actually okay with it. This is why I am almost incapable of saying no to people. Because for my whole life I’ve been taught that even if someone says it’s okay if I say no, it’s actually not and I get punished for it. I just wanted a day to myself to rest and recharge especially since the rest of the week is going to be INSANITY.  

And then, when I tried to tell her that I’m feeling really anxious because my throat’s been sore most of the day, not only does she fully dismiss that I might be sick, but she threatened to cut off my therapy because it “doesn’t seem like you’re making any progress.” So now I have that to worry about.

I’m just so done with both of my parents at this point and I’m starting to realize that maybe the best thing for me actually would be to get as far away from them as possible after graduation.  

[mars-ipan]

are you ever hanging out and then u realize a daydream you had all the time growing up was actually totally a kink or. is that just me

[cherrymoonvol6]

.

[romantically-yours]

Thinking about that time in 6th when me and my friend at the time were just casually talking about how oh when we grow up we should just move to the French countryside together

[mourning-again-in-america]

TIL that the "Richard Spencer" who was Secretary of the Navy and Acting Secretary of Defense under Trump is *not* Richard Spencer the glowy white supremacist.

[haedgaf]

there is a strong urge in me to write a jisung fic that is basically like the anime violet evergarden

[mellowwillowy]

𝐓𝐖𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

Feat: Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, Lilia Bonus: Floyd, Jade, Jamil, Rook, Epel, Malleus

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle’s face was almost as red as his hair, not out of anger but rather…

[Oh my gooodddd, stomp those tiny feet again, Riddle! Give me that pout~]

Really… should he do it again? Out of nowhere? Well, let’s take a walk to where you clicked then…

[Yaahhh!! So cuteeee!!!]

Well at least you didn’t think him badly for being angry out of nowhere… whoops, he wasn’t supposed to idle like that.

Ahh, why are you moving on to another character? Cater? That good for nothing? The naughty ADeuce duo? He's almost turning from red to green in envy!

Leona Kingscholar

Leona was supposed to be ticked to the brim but definitely not with you. His ears are red from your nonstop rambling while you keep on poking his avatar right on his ear.

[I wonder how it feels like to play with his ears, ah, maybe I should help you clean it too?]

Don’t. Twitch. Ears. Else the player might notice this and question this one new idle.

[Thinking back, I kinda wanna try stepping on his tail like Yuu too~]

Don’t. Swish. Tail. What? Is he a masochist or what? Well, if it’s for you then he wouldn’t mind it.

Wait wait, why are you checking out Ruggie and Jack now? Hey, what do you mean Ruggie has cuter ears and Jack has a fluffier tail? Why do they look so proud? Are they asking to be minced?

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul might break out of the avatar restraint now. You’ve been talking about how you want to squeeze the kid him, round and plump, you quoted.

Why did you find his past appearance adorable?

[Honestly, I kinda want to lift him and his hiding spot and boil him as a takoyaki filling]

Now that made Floyd and Jade snickered. Azul was internally panicking but his avatar did not show him breaking a single sweat.

[Or maybe gather all his ink whenever he cries]

For your pen?

[But I do think squeezing his plump octomer form is the best~ Oh well, he had lost all those baby fats]

And back to how you ramble about his round self again. This was supposed to be disheartening but why was he blushing?

Wait wait, don't look away from him, no! Why are you going to Floyd? And Jade too? He knew Floyd won your heart but allow him to worm into your heart at the very least. Please let one of his three hearts rest in you!

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim was nodding non-stop at your ramblings, or should he say, wishes. He was really happy that you were taking him as your magic lamp!

[And then, I want you to lace my body with lots of glitters, made of gold!]

No hard task, he just had to grind all that gold into some sort of fairy dust for you!

[Oh! And I want to try swimming in a pool of golden coins like Uncle Scrooge! I wonder if it'll hurt and uncomfortable as I think...]

He was in the same boat with you. You'd have to be careful when diving into the pool! But you can try sleeping on it though you should be careful, just in case the coins swallow you whole!

[And a carpet ride every night~]

Roger that! Tell him more of your wish, will you?

Eh? Why do you stop wishing? No! He will guarantee you that he will make it all come true! Please do not doubt him! Ah... it's because you two are in a different dimension? Screw this barrier that separates you two then.

Vil Schoenheit

Yes, he knew he was unworthy of your praises but he couldn't help but enjoy bathing in it!

[Look at your hair... and that make-up! Wow... truly is the fairest one of all!]

Oh please, no matter how much you compliment him, he could never compete with you beauty-wise! You would always be the true fairest one of all!

[Aha! Look at those heels too, contribute a lot to your height, and make you look so pretty!]

Even a prominent actor like him can't cover his natural reaction which was the growing blush on his face!

Eh? Rook? What does he have to do with him? Too in love with his words more than the beauty in front of you right now? No no no, you must look at him only and no one else!

Idia Shroud

If anything, he was glad his hair did not turn pink! From the way you kept on poking his avatar and patting his head, it made his heart tickled. He was no longer stuttering because the system wanted him to, but because he himself was nervous!

[Oh, show me that one illustration... Kyaaa! Why must you be so cute biting on your sleeve??? It's so inviting!!!]

Ah? That one? He couldn't help but feel embarrassed as you zoomed into his face and examined his hair. Truly, this was too much for his heart!

[Oh oh, and your masquerade costume is so pretty! It makes you look so pretty ffs!]

Ah, it was pretty uncomfortable to wear but he's glad he didn't take it off, not like he can do that anyway. The system won't allow that after all.

Everything feels nice so why are you changing character now? Wait wait! Have you checked his other card? No no no, why is that little shortie fae here? Don't close on him, please! He might want to try hacking your phone soon!

Lilia Vanrouge

Oya? You'd like to dress him up? Kukuku, looks like green and pink would work well on him~

[And... I think we can try curling his long hair, can we change the hue from red to pink like a color wheel?]

...Curling his hair didn't sound bad. Maybe he should try it sometimes and see if it suited him.

[Oh! And I'm gonna hang him upside down like the bat he is! My cute little bat, let's fist-fight!]

You really are an enigma huh? One moment is a sweet and docile lamb then the next moment you are a bull. Hm? Malleus? Why talk about him so sudden? Didn't you say he is your number-one favorite from Diasomnia? So why are you looking at someone else now?

𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒:

Floyd Leech

God of Shrimpy~ Keep on poking him, he loves it! Ah, you love his teeth? And his droopy eyes? And his laugh? Hehe, you really love everything about him huh?

So why do you even bother looking at the others? He's going to hug you tight for this silly!

Jade Leech

Ah, he is quite the gentleman, no? Hm? You'd like to keep him as your butler? Why that is quite the generous idea that you allow him to manage your daily life~

With a small dose of love potion in your daily tea every day, he's bound to have you in his arms soon, well, if he ever finds a way to pull you into this twisted wonderland.

Jamil Viper

It truly is an honor to be considered as someone reliable (from babysitting Kalim) and acknowledged as an attendant who could shield you from any danger, truly. He is ready to put his life in line for you so why?

Why are you saying that there's someone else who might fit the position as your attendant more than him? And that person being that slimy eel no less!

Rook Hunt

Ah! This is amazing! To be able to charm you with his words and let him worm into your heart is truly a blessing! Would you like him to write you a poem detailing your beauty?

No no, mon chèri, you shouldn't grace those who are unbefitting of it, don't you think it's a waste to spare the other your grace? Allow this hunter to save you from that trouble.

Epel Felmier

H-huh? You want to dress him up? Naturally, he hates being treated as a doll, a girl no less! But... the idea of you helping him dress and helping him with makeup... he can do this. It is your way of gracing him after all...

Huh? You want to dress Lilia up too? Why? Because he's cuter? Oh no, there's no way there's someone who is prettier than him, look at him, look at how pretty he is in this dress!

Malleus Draconia

If anything, he will always hear you compare him and Riddle to the 'Queen of Heart' and 'Maleficient' from your world. You will praise him for being able to stand on the same level as the actress' beauty which makes him feel giddy.

But boy is he sulking when you start rambling about Riddle and the big-headed Queen. You will dote on him and Riddle back and forth.

Can't you just dote on him?

[sleeplessvalley]

god I'm letting someone else front after I'm done typing this, I just need to express it or I'm going to pop like a balloon

like fucking

I have early memories scattered everywhere

in 1st grade where a kid insulted my shirt (and I still hold the grudge for some reason)

the time when we were making a little neighborhood with milk cartons on the floor in 1st grade and I knocked a little toy car into it; nothing even happened to the carton houses but I got yelled at for it. other people had knocked things off their tables into it and were only told gently to go in and pick it up

the many, many, MANY times my writing stuff would go missing from my desk, from 1st grade to 5th, and if it happened to anyone else it was always to the other 'weird' kids

1st grade, we were doing the 'who took the cookies from the cookie jar' with the whole class and the teacher just skipped over me

1st grade, a couple of kids would run away from me whenever I tried to play with them. naturally I chased them because I wanted to talk to them and shit, but they wouldn't even give me the chance to talk and I do remember them both calling me names

how MY ENTIRE CLASS aside from one girl (who moved to oregon before the next schoolyear started) in 2nd grade thought I was weird and I knew, just knew, that people were avoiding me the whole year. when she moved I also had only one friend until 4th grade.

3rd grade. in its entirety. was awful. my teacher then was strict but she hated me in particular, made me feel awful for not knowing how to read a clock of all things because nobody told me how, and having difficulty with a research project on leaves (such a long story), various classmates humiliated me and my wax museum project, the nurse would get upset with me for not taking my asthma medication. there's so much stuff that happened in this year alone and I don't remember all of it, but I remember a lot of tears both at school and at home because my mom would get angry with me.

I also remember in 2nd and 3rd grade I was put into some little program during school that I thought everyone went to and only just recently realized it was for problem kids, what with all the board and card games on being a good kid and being nice to others and stuff. this continued until 5th grade, and then in 6th until I graduated highschool I was switched over to the school therapists

a girl in 4th grade telling me she was a better girlfriend than I was in regards to a kid we were both friends with. I wasn't interested in him and told her we were just friends, she insisted I was and this quite literally led to her and her friend group bullying me from 4th grade through to 11th (it would've been until my last day of highschool but covid hit us in march of 11th grade, which is. something I shouldn't have to be thankful towards a virus for)

one boy in my 4th grade class just yelling at me that I was weird and that I should leave him and others alone

as mentioned prior, from partway through 2nd grade until 4th grade, I had one friend. a group of girls invited me to sit with them for lunch one day near the start of the year and I thought finally, this is it, these are going to be my friends, they seem to like me. this is a surprise tool that will help us later.

various other things in this year that I also don't remember. sums up to more tears at school and at home.

by fucking 5th grade. 5th grade. I was saying that I wanted to kill myself and seeing an OUTSIDE therapist for that

5th grade is also the year when everything started going downhill. near daily I'd get yelled at by my teacher, or my mom, or the afterschool people, for forgetting something in my classroom. usually a piece of homework. only here did my mom really start noticing all the problems I was having, and she thought it was a goddamn developmental thing that could be fixed? so she took me to a neurologist and that's how I got my ADHD diagnosis. I remember none of it but she tells me the story. of how she went with me, the doctors said that, and her response. which is and I shit you not "how can that be, my kid has been fine and suddenly it's a complete 180 compared to before". never got support for that. still haven't, probably never going to.

I'm not even getting into everything that came after in detail. all that's important is that in the middle of 2016 I was put on an anxiety medication, it completely fucked me over and made me depressed, shortly after 8th grade started I lost everyone who even tolerated me at the time, and I wanted to commit suicide so badly that it resulted in the only time I've ever tried to harm myself. got suspended from school and sent to a mental hospital, then was playing catch-up for a month.

all that.

all that, and I sit here going 'I don't have very bad trauma. there was one incident in 2016, but nothing more than that' while continually thinking all my abnormal responses to things now are normal.

and I sit here having gone 'but how could I have OSDD. how could I have ASPD. it doesn't make sense, I've had a pretty normal time' in the past.