#like.... i seriously can't understand what i was complaining about two years ago

[somuchstrdst]

.

[octuscle]

H hello sir

I’m a first time chronivac user and I don't really know how to use it, could you help me ?

I want to become a chav/skinhead

They always fascinated me, all tuff and courageous, always drinking beer and wearing cool clothes the way they speak and probably ejaculating always

Im quite sheltered and lonely, just wanted a change

Could you help me understand this app?

Mate, you are now 44 years old and a clerk at an insurance company. The idea that you could become a chav comes rather late to you, doesn't it? But don't worry, we'll manage it. We take the setting "Retroactive change with age reduction". Speed one year per hour. This means that every hour you will become one year younger. And at the same time you get a different biography for one year longer. I already have the perfect target image for you.

Friday, 16:00. Let's go! You go out with your colleagues for a beer in the pub to start the weekend. But your colleagues are bored. They only talk about work. And seriously: You're not interested in your work when you're in the office. A few times you try to change the conversation to soccer or boxing. But your colleagues are merciless. Miserable sycophants and careerists. After an hour, you say goodbye and look for a sports bar. Your club is about to play.

This place looks very much to your taste. In front of the bar, a few lads hang out with the right jerseys. Well, you're still standing here in the suit from the office. But nobody cares. You take a cigarette out of your jacket pocket and join the lads in getting ready for the game.

8:00 p.m. What a game! It was on the line. But you rocked it! You get the beer shower with full force. Fuck it! The atmosphere is boiling. You take off your wet shirt and jacket. And celebrate with your mates! Just as you go out to smoke another cigarette, a few fans of the opposing team come by. You yell what kind of losers they are. And the first fists fly. But the last four years in the boxing club have paid off. Of course you have to take a beating. Damn, the nose is probably broken. But the others look worse…

22:00. You stand in your ruined clothes with your bloodied face in a doorway and piss. Fuck, you're drunk… But the evening can't possibly be over already. At your home around the corner you will certainly find another party. But first you have to change your clothes. You sit down in the bus and play with your cell phone. A few of the lads are still sitting in the park. You promise to be there in an hour with a few beers.

There, that's better. Tracksuit. Your best gold chain hangs in front of your chest. And your feet are in stinky white socks. Now it's the weekend! One of the mates has his boombox with him. The beer is warm and tastes like piss. But you have your fun. And thanks to the victory of your team there is also something to celebrate. Shit, you are horny… You can't help but jerk off. One of you had to start. And then you cum on each other's soccer jerseys. It's bad that the police comes by at that moment. Residents had complained about the noise in the park.

It's 3:00 a.m. when you leave the police station again after lengthy instructions. Hey, this should not be the first time this weekend that you come into contact with the cops. Two of the mates come with you to the apartment. For one last beer. And a hot threesome.

Fuck, it's 08:00 o'clock when you wake up. The shift would have started two hours ago. Ten calls in the absence of your boss. That's a thunderstorm. You have to promise to suck him off after his shift. And to take the early shift tomorrow morning. Fuck, Sunday mornings are always the worst for street cleaning. You know that because you make a lot of garbage yourself on Saturday night. At least you can lie down again after a smoke and a sip of stale warm beer.

14:00. Process completed. Here you are: A 22-year-old crook. Without a completed education. You'll be lucky if the money is occasionally enough for a new tattoo. But boi! You have fun in life!

[etherealgoode]

Pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x Reader (fluff)

Word Count: 1,8k

Note (pls read): hey there! this is the first piece i’ve written after like three years of literally nothing. if this seems a little off and ooc it's because i suck lol, but i’ve been obsessed enough about melissa to try and write something again, even though it didn't come out as “melissa centered” as i first attempted to, pls be patient with me <:

I can't say no to you.

“Do we really have to go?” Melissa sighs for the hundredth time, clicking her earrings in place. “We could just stay in, watch a movie? I’ll even let you pick, and I won't complain about your poor choices.” She looks at you through the mirror, and though the offer is tempting, you don't cave.

“We promised Ava, baby. Besides, I’m sure it'll be fun!” You smile at her, your fingertips tapping your knees while you wait for her.

“I didn't promise anything, but whatever. I still don't know how I let you talk me into this.” She rolls her eyes, trying to act more annoyed than she is, but in reality she’ll do anything you’d ask her to.

_______

Two weeks ago, Ava walked into the teacher's room acting like she got the best idea in the whole world– and to you, she kinda did.

She got in contact with an animal shelter that has been going viral on TikTok and “offered” to make a few videos to incentive her followers to adopt puppies.

You knew that for Ava, this was just another way to become more popular and gain followers, but at the end it was still a good cause.

So when she asked if someone was interested in helping her out– “You’ll never get another chance like this in your lifetime,” where her exact words, you jumped excitedly to help.

Everyone was surprised to say the least, they all just expected Janine or Jacob to be the first ones to volunteer, but Ava was grateful you beat them to the punch. “Alright girl, that pretty face will get me lots of interactions. I’ll text you the details.” She winked at you before leaving the room.

The only person who was not thrilled about it was, of course, your girlfriend Melissa.

“Did you seriously agreed to help Ava out? Outside of class? For her own benefit only?” The redhead was still trying to understand what the hell just happened in front of her, Gregory being the first one to agree with her.

“What’s wrong with giving her a little help? Like you said, she's doing it mostly for herself, so I can be there to make sure the puppies can get a home instead of just Ava trying to look good around ‘em.” You shrug, not entirely lying.

Melissa scoffs, but ultimately decides it’ll be better to talk you out of this at home instead of surrounded by people who seemed equally excited about the puppies as well.

Back at home, she never, ever expected you to convince her to tag along as well.

_______

“What she doing here? I’m tryna get more followers, not cancelled!” Ava huffs, her hand resting on her waist as she glances at both of you.

“Ava don't be mean! Mel is here to help to the cause as well.” You defend her, though you're 100% sure she doesn't really need it.

“Trust me, I’m not interested in being seen in your stupid little videos anyway.” Melissa bites back.

“Your loss.” Ava shrugs, not really bothered. Finally, she walks you both to meet the head of the shelter before she goes to finish her whole set up of lights and everything.

You introduce yourself but, soon enough, your attention is taken away by the loud barking of puppies.

“Oh, Mel! Look at them!” You cry out, quickly kneeling by the dog playpen fence. The puppies are excitedly trying to get out to you, and you lean over to try and pet them all.

Without noticing, your elbow knocks against the lock and suddenly the small door is open, and the eight puppies you counted were running out of the fence and knocking you down. You couldn't stop laughing as they walked over you and licked your face, while the woman who introduced herself as Mabel tried to get them off you and into their place again.

You didn’t notice Ava taking a video of you, let alone Melissa sneaking her phone for a quick photo.

Mabel gets most of the puppies in, and you grab the last one while attempting to get off the floor. “Oh look at how cute you are!” You smile brightly like a child on Christmas, holding the dog close to you.

You glance at Melissa, whose smile can't be erased as she looks at you being the most beautiful human she's ever seen.

“That video is gold for my page.” Ava chuckles at the phone, and you look at her horrified.

“You were recording me?!”

“Why else did you think you were here?”

“Ava I must look awful–”

“–You looked cute.” Melissa interferes before you can finish your thought. She knows you can get a little insecure and anxious sometimes, always preferring to be prepared when someone is about to take your picture, but before you can go there she makes sure you know how perfect you are. “No one's gonna be looking at these damn dogs when you look like that, hon.”

Your cheeks instantly heat, hiding your smile against the dog’s soft furr before you put it down with the rest. “That’s not the idea. At all.”

A couple of hours later, when Ava was satisfied with all of the material she got and the puppies seemed way more exhausted, it was time to call it a day.

You helped Ava get cute shots of the puppies by playing around with them, and recorded her when she attempted the same. Somehow, you even got Melissa to pet one of them and you were sure Ava was going to use that in her favor.

Overall, it was a great day and you were sure the videos would help the shelter as well. You just wished you could take them all home and give them the love they deserved. If not all, perhaps just one?

“Oh I’m going to miss you buddy.” That little puppy you had held for a minute at first, didn't stop following you around, whining to get all your love and attention, and you couldn't say no to that golden golden furr and soft paws. This is what heaven looked like for you.

You glance up at your girlfriend, smiling softly at her with the puppy next to your face. “Isn't it the cutest thing you've ever seen?” You ask softly, not willing to let go just yet. Melissa raises her eyebrow and looks reclutantly at the can.

“Far from it, honestly.” You roll your eyes.

“C’mon, look at those cute ears, and that little nose! It's perfect.” You nuzzle your face against it, walking closer to Melissa and holding it at eyes level expectantly.

“If I say yes will you just put it down so we can leave? I’m already done with this shit show.” She crosses her arms, trying to look as unbothered as possible. But you are relentless, not ready to give up just yet even though you know what the outcome might be.

“Five more minutes, please baby? Just pet it a little, it deserves love as well.” You pout, knowing the redhead won't be able to resist for too long.

“Okay fine, but just once Y/N!” Melissa sighs, extending her arm to pet the puppy. Right on cue, the dog barks happily, making Melissa jump a little. Before it keeps barking louder, she carefully takes it in her arms to quiet it down and it surprisingly works, the dog starting to lick all over the redhead’s face instead. “That's enough. I guess it’s fine, done?”

You can tell Melissa is trying not to enjoy this, but the small puppy is really adorable and so excited to be passed around you two. You really want to ask the question, but you're not sure you’ll cope with Melissa's answer.

So, instead of asking, you hold the puppy in your arms and, like he knew what was going on, both of you look at your girlfriend with the biggest, brightest eyes you could muster.

“What? Why you looking at me like that?” Melissa squints, and Ava laughs behind her.

“Are you blind? The girl is dying to take that thing home.”

“Y/N, are you crazy? What are we even going to do with a dog? All they do is bark and shit all over the place, and do you know how expensive it'll be? You need food, and toys, and a leash, a bed that they’ll outgrown soon! Who will take him to walks so he doesn't shit all over our apartment when we're not there, huh?”

Maybe you don't have everything figured out just yet, but you will!

“Him?” You raise your eyebrows.

“His balls are right there, but that's besides the point! Did you hear everything I just said?”

“I did, baby. I hear you.” You say softly. The puppy– which is obviously a male, starts whining and lays his head against you, looking up at Melissa with big brown eyes. You take the opportunity and do the exact same thing, both of you staring into her beautiful green ones.

You didn't think she would crack so soon, so easily. But you guess she had been picking up on your energy the whole day, and how happy you were when you first landed eyes on the puppies. At the end of the day, she knew she couldn't deny you anything. The smile on your face was worth more than talking you out of the whole thing.

“I swear to God, if that thing ruins my couch, pees on my carpet, gets on my bed– he's out.” Melissa grumbles, though you know there's no real treat behind it, or at least you hope.

“First of all, it's our bed. And second, the couch is already wrapped in plastic baby, nothing will happen. I’ll make sure, promise.” You peck your girlfriend's lips softly, your smile growing against her. “Thank you baby, Rocco and I love you.”

“Rocco? You named it already?” She can't believe she's agreed to this, and she knows she can't back out, but that doesn't mean she won't fight against the dog a little; even if she secretly thinks he's cute, has thought so since you first held him.

“Of course, Rocco Schemmenti. It suits him, don't you think?” You smirk, knowing damn well you already have her.

“Shut up, he hasn't earned the right to be a Schemmenti yet.”

“And what about me?” Your free arm sneaks around Melissa’s neck, little Rocco laying between you two as the redhead’s hands rest on your waist.

“Oh hon, you were born to be a Schemmenti, trust me.” She finally gifts you one of her beautiful smiles, green eyes closing as you lean over to kiss her, laughing when Rocco starts licking both your cheeks. “Let’s take this thing home so I can show you properly.”

[shimamitsu]

if you ever feel like talking about ao no flag id love to hear it <3 i read it but hated some parts

mmmmm tbh i can't be very specific about the aspects i didn't like bc i read ao no flag in one sitting like 2 years ago so i don't remember much but i'll try 😭 i think my main problem was that back then everyone talked about it like it was the second coming of shimanami tasogare (i saw it get compared to it so much. seriously) and it wasn't like that..... at all. instead of recommending it for being a good drama or romance or whatever, people were saying (and said to me!!!) read for the lesbian rep! read for the bi rep! and when i finished i was like. is the lesbian and bi rep in the room with us rn.... i think i wouldn't have been so disappointed if my expectations weren't so high and that's on me 👍 when i read stuff i don't like i usually forget about it the next day but imagine seeing a series get compared to one of your favorite manga for months and months and when you read it it doesn't even get close 😭 i liked some aspects of ao no flag! i really liked the characters (which was one of the reasons why the way they got treated made me so mad, touma get behind me), it was a good drama, i just think it didn't really do a great job with the lgbt rep. i feel like if the manga was a few chapters longer and tried to solve all the issues it introduced i would've liked it. but instead it tried to deal with all these issues for so many chapters with no resolution on sight and then out of nowhere it was like time skip! this character's not at a lesbian! the mcs are together for some reason! which i understand, i do, i think it made sense, but taichi's feelings were not explored that much and yes i could see that maybe deep down he had some feelings for touma but. it's not about what i can perceive bc i'm a queer person who's used to finding queer subtext in everything. to be good queer rep it has to be more explicit, at least to me. And. oh my god. they didn't even show up together at the end bc of that whole 1st person pov chapter idk it makes me so mad it's the bare minimum come onnnnnn. at one point the manga even started discussing homophobia in such a weird way like it's just a different opinion guys live laugh love ♥️ HELLO???????? (not even gonna start talking about how dangerous it is to say that stuff when you're publishing a famous manga in a mainstream magazine like shonen jump). anyway i don't think it's the worst manga on earth or that people can't like it or relate to it or anything, the things that bothered me might not be a deal breaker to other lgbt people which it's ok you do you. it's as i said in my post, it tried and failed. anyway this was mostly me complaining, sorry i didn't articulate my thoughts better but as i said i don't remember much hehe. and just in case, i think it's great queer stories are being featured in magazines like jump, don't get me wrong. here's an article i read a few years ago and really liked!!! it discusses these issues i mentioned way better than i do. and in a less bitter way as well lol

[sydsaint]

Roddy Strong is back baby 💜

Summary: The reader is in for a surprise when Adam calls in some backup on Dynamite.

"I know that you want to get involved, Britt," You chat with Baker backstage at Dynamite. "But we both know that it'll just distract him." You remind her.

"I know." Britt sighs and shakes her head. Her eye still aches from the attack by The Outcasts thanks to Chris and his buddies.

You rub Britt's arm to comfort her a bit. You understand more than most that it can't be easy for her to watch Adam struggle at the hands of Chris Jericho. He is your brother after all.

You and Britt watch Adam struggle at the hands of Chris and the J.A.S. and honestly, things are starting to look bleak for your brother. But just when you are seriously thinking about throwing caution to the wind and going out to help Adam with Britt at your side, someone you haven't seen in a long time comes to the rescue.

"Roderick?" Your jaw drops. "Oh my god!"

Britt turns to you with a small look of confusion. But you can't really blame her though. She only started dating Adam a few years ago. And Roddy wasn't around much by then. "Do you know that guy, Y/N?" She asks you. "It sure as hell seems like Adam knows him."

"Yeah, Roddy is an old friend." You nod and try to downplay the smile spreading over your features. "He used to run with Adam back when was still in the WWE." You explain.

"Alright," Britt nods. "He's helping Adam so you won't hear me complain." She lets out a small sigh of relief.

You nod in agreement and turn back to the tv monitor. With Roderick's help, Adam manages to clear out Chris and his J.A.S. cronies. You watch the two old friends embrace in the ring and can't help but bounce on your heels in excitement.

A few minutes later, Adam and Roderick come through the curtain and walk over to you and Britt. Britt rushes over to Adam to make sure that he's alright. As for you? You rush over to Roderick's side, no longer able to contain your excitement.

"Roddy!" You take an ecstatic leap forward and Roddy catches you with a chuckle.

"Y/N! There's my girl." Roderic chuckles as you cling to him like an overly excited little girl.

"I can't believe that you're here!" You gush as Roderick sets you back on your feet. "You should have told me!" You flash a hint of a frown.

Roderick chuckles again and shrugs. "What can I say? I wanted it to be a surprise." He insists. "You miss me?" He teases you with a grin.

"Maybe a little bit." You shrug back at him with a sly grin. "I tend to miss Kyle more though." You joke.

"Right." Roderick shakes his head and reaches out to throw an arm over your shoulder. “God, I missed that sweet smile.” He admits with a dumb grin on his face.

“Awe.” You giggle. “I missed you too, Roddy.” You hug his side. “You know, I’ve always regretted not getting you to officially go out with me.” You admit.

Roderick nods, pulling you closer to his side. “Yeah, I was an idiot not to ask you out back then,” He agrees. “But I was so afraid that Adam would disapprove and try to do something about it.”

“Please.” You scoff. “Adam’s never cared about who I’m dating.” You explain. “He might be my big brother, but he knows that I can take care of myself and make good decisions on my own.”

“Does that make me a good decision, then?” Roderick teases you.

You giggle and shrug. “Maybe it does. Come on, you should meet Britt. She’s great.” Giggling to yourself like a lovesick teenager you happily secure a place at Roderick's side, his arm snugly over your shoulder before you walk over to Britt and Adam to check on the happy couple.

"I see that it didn't take you two any time to get reacquainted," Adam comments. "This means that you're finally gonna make it official this time?"

You and Roderick share a knowing look. You and Roddy have always been close. But over the years neither of you has ever thought about making labels out of anything.

"I think so, yeah." You nod at Adam. "What do you think, Roddy?" You ask Roderick.

Roderick turns to face you, his arm still keeping you close. "Well, I didn't show up in AEW just to help an old friend." He chuckles. "I think that it's finally time to get the girl."

"I second that." You giggle and hook an arm behind Roderick's neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

Adam rolls his eyes at the cheesiness of it all. But Britt smacks his arm and ceases his sour mood. "Awe, you two make a cute couple, Y/N." She smiles at you.

"Thanks, Britt." You break away from Roderick and return her smile. "It's a long time in the making, trust me."

"Got that right." Roderick agrees. "Come on. You can show me where the locker room is and we can catch up a bit."

You nod with a grin and lead Roderick away from the group. "You two better not fuck in my locker room!" Adam shouts after the two of you.

“Adam!” Britt laughs as she watches you walk off with Roderick. “Y/N seems happy. Those two must have been into one another for a long time, huh?” She asks Adam.

“Only since the moment they met.” Adam sighs. “Now we just need to get Kyle back.” He mumbles to himself. “And find one more person to help you and Y/N out with Ruby, Toni, and Saraya.”

“We’ll get it handled, Adam.” Britt agrees with a small nod. “We always do.”

[decolonize-the-left]

god yeah about the exclusionism post and asking the queer community to hold itself accountable...

like, i'm young. im only 18. so i wasn't super around for the vast majority of the height of aphobic bigotry in this community.... but i've been around for most of the anti-bilesbian, anti-xenogender, anti-mogai stuff, and it has hurt so so much.

im a xenogender, genderqueer aroace bi lesbian. all of these things mean so so much to me. because they taught me to know and love all parts of myself, which has taught me my love of radical love and kindness. the queer community is what has transformed me into being a radical, queer-anarchist, anti-racist, anti-bigotry, and those things are so fucking critical to who i am. i wouldn't be who i am without the queer community and what its members have taught me about equity and compassion... and yet, it has also traumatized me to the point that it's hard to think about getting involved in irl queer events which breaks my heart.

in 2021, 11,000 people signed a petition telling me specifically to end my life for being part of the campaign that had the lgbta wiki support bi lesbians. i had a message board on there, and everytime i went on there, there were 10 new messages with different descriptions of how i should end my life. it got so bad that i couldn't sleep. i was shaking and crying ALL THE TIME. and despite that wiki being the one place i could be open about my queerness, i was forced off of it because if i stayed, i would be continually threatened and my mental health couldn't take it.

as a result, i lost contact with most of my online queer friends. i was so fucking angry all the time. everytime i saw any form of exclusionist rhetoric, i would become so anxious that i would spiral. i've been baited, threatened, relentlessly bullied, forced out of a queer 'safe' space, and treated like absolute fucking shit. all because i put the words 'bi' and 'lesbian' next to each other in a bio about me.

i can't put words to describe the kind of shit this has done to my mental health. i already had personality disorders from Emotional Trauma that made anger hard to deal with- so getting involved on Tumblr after the wiki went away, where exclusionism was sadly rampant, was hard because I felt like I had to choose- be an online part of the community that has made me who i am, but suffer bullying and self hatred in the process, or give up that community entirely. i don't think people truly comprehend how traumatizing it is for anyone, but especially a TEENAGER, to have to make a decision like that.

it's been almost two years now, and still, everytime i see exclusionism, everytime i get a death threat (sadly still a somewhat frequent occurrence), i spiral because it takes me right back to the height of my harassment two years ago. and part of my brain still genuinely believes i deserved it.

that's just me. that's just one person influenced by this. and yet it's not just me. the same stuff that's happened to me, has happened to thousands. and thousands more. and i don't think people truly understand that, just because it's online stuff and didn't really happen irl, doesn't mean it's some small little thing that we should stop complaining about because there's REAL problems for REAL queer people to worry about.

so, very long story short, coming from someone who has been hugely impacted by exclusionism, and i may be unique in this position, but every person who was once an exclusionist like that and has grown and apologized, seriously means the world to me. because i know that there's no excuse for it, and yet i understand the reasons why so many people struggle with it. out of all the self hatred exclusionism has caued me, how can i turn around and blame the exclusionists who were acting out of the same exact insecurities i was?

there is no excuse for bigotry. but you are not a bad person. thank you for growing. seeing your post actually gave me so much hope because i've had several people come to me personally and say that me being open about my identity has helped them grow out of their exclusionist mindsets and grown as a person, so seeing people grow like this just warms my heart because we all have the capacity for both good and bad- taking the opportunity to learn to be better is a prime example of the good and it fills me with hope that other people can learn too.

i also wanted to comment on something else from your post. you were talking about the generational trauma you've experienced, and how you perceived the concept of 'aphobia' as disrespectful to the victims of horrible systemic oppression irl, and while yes, that is not what aphobia as a concept is, you don't need to apologize for being angry because yes, you perceived something the incorrect way in that moment, but your anger was 100% justified. as a white queer person, i fully believe that inclusionism still needs room to acknowledge intersecting oppressions and that comparing intracommunity exclusionism to centuries of genocidal colonialism, is absolutely appalling. your actions were unjustified- your anger was not. i want you to know that you do not need to feel guilty for being angry like that. anger is an important emotion, so i hope you can truly internalize that you had every right to be angry, even if your actions were wrong.

again, thank you for being awesome and making that post. i'm very sorry if my super long ramble was unsolicited, and if you don't want to respond i completely understand! please please take care and have a wonderful time zone <3

🖤🖤🖤

[katyspersonal]

Honestly, not how I expected it to be resolved. I think I've seen what concept of coping in a human form would be like. After a long string of this person trying one way to blame me for everything after another and another and another. Back then in summer when A found out I vagueblogged about her, she tossed that "apology" at me and instantly blocked. In that message she claimed the reason why she threw us to Dr Eugene X and her horde of huntsmen was not something personal but her feeling morally obligated to provide any testimony she could in hopes to remedy situation. Like, showing truth rather than my self-defence or Dr Eugene X's exagerration (A's own words)

But this time, when I confronted her and she engaged in discussion, facade fell very fast and she admitted that she considered me deserving that backstabbing. That it was not a mistake like I started to think, not lack of psyop immunity, not twisted idea of her "duty" but intentional, calculated, malicious act with sole purpose to hurt me as a revenge for hurting her. That I deserved the whole arc of her pretending to have forgiven my paranoid outburst when she defended my stalker only to strike from the back. That I deserved backstabbing and that's why she did it. I was absolutely losing my shit and physically unable to think rationally from pain and fear, but she said I made a CHOICE to "start a war" with her, so I had no right to complain that she was "fighting dirty" (I am quoting her word to word here). Basically, A is Petrus lol

She said I used my trauma, mental illness and state of having been regularly stalked and slandered back then to "excuse" having hurt her by calling her brainwashed and two-faced, for defending THE person that reduced me to paranoid, aggressive mess to begin with. And as a final punch in the gut, she said that the way I reacted at her triggering my paranoia (even if not on purpose) was evidence that I haven't changed after what I was like 6 years ago. I asked how comes that the only way a person changes to the better is if they never make mistakes again or never have negative emotions again but got no response. Only attempt to rage quit on me for "pointless" discussion in the fashion of the worst narcissistic parent that just got their logical error pointed out. Not only a common Westerner L on not understanding how humans work, but also it was vile to use the biggest regret in my life against me like that.

I kinda.. trusted for that time that she WAS sorry for backstabbing me. But after sleeping for like 2 hours, in retrospective, from how much she bashed me for everythibg being entirely my fault, I assume she is only sorry because that action brought her more stress than it was worth. And she also considers herself more hurt out of us two after admitting that she completely forgot about me until I messaged her, when I haven't been able to stop hurting and crying because of her after half a year.

If you gonna carry out anything from another turn of my never ending downward spiral of epic fails, then 1) if someone's words are seriously hurtful and cruel and you didn't deserve them, obliterate the bastard verbally where they STAND! do not just conceal your pain not even once offering a chance to make up for the damage done, until you have a chance for revenge??? seriously WTF?! 2) however, if someone gets aggroed at you calling them two-faced to the point they have to plot revenge and victimblame, you've probably guessed right about them 3) paranoid outbursts and alike are not a calculated choice 4) some people don't know how humans work, just because someone tells you that you are an inconsiderate monster that can't stay in society without harming people and use your mental pain and trauma as an excuse to get away with it doesn't mean it is true (especially note it if you have BPD like me, I know yall have a toxic trait of hearing insane accusations about you and just agree with them) 5) for some reason my string of closures is stuck at "seeing ugly truth at last" theme. Can someone really good hurt me? Lol /j

It was still a valid point on her end that the way cruel, angry words I say without thinking can seriously wound someone who already has low self-esteem and depression. It is just better if I do not try to get close with people that have such problems until I can change my reaction to pain and fear from aggression to distancing. Not gonna happen soon because since early childhood it was anger that allowed me to persist at least somewhat against all the abuse within my family. Not crying, not hiding, not distancing. It is very hard wired in my brain to react at signs of danger by trying to destroy it.. so yeah, look, you've been warned. If you already feel like shit about yourself don't let me too close just in case, I am fine with emotional distance. Because when I get alerted or scared (of abandonment, being lied to, intent to harm me etc) I say bad, cruel shit that won't let you sleep for a while. I am sorry everyone who I already made feel unsafe with my outbursts.

[sleepy-achilles]

Second ask

Cassidy has a girl's day with her aunts, yes that includes Goldust.

Look at me. Late as usual. I'm good like that. Terrible thing is I've bascially done nothing today at all. Only walked my dog.

The Family of Destruction- Lucky Girls.

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Cassie purses her lips as she sits at the dinner table. Chyna, Stephanie and goldust stand around her. "Whyd you do it?" Stephanie asks. "It was an accident.." cassie frowns. "Okay, shooting one brother? Accident. You managed to shoot two brothers." Goldust huffs moving towards the counter. "Yeah, shooting John was an accident." Cassie sighs. "That makes sense" goldust nods pouring wine. "Am I missing something? Why is every male okay with the idea of Leon being shot?" Chyna asks. "You two wouldn't understand because he's an angel to you two. He's a little shit with mommy issues. He only has mommy issues because he hasn't got a mother. Which is something we can't change." Goldust huffs turning towards the girls.

"Hes not bad enough to shoot" Stephanie states. "He is. And it was his bow and arrow. John was just too close, it went through Leon's arm and into his. I don't know why his arrows are so sharp" she frowns. "Because he uses them to hunt. The monsters around here are thick skinned" goldust hums. "So, we've got time to kill before your dad comes home to punish you. What shall we do?" Steph asks. "Wanna go out?" Chyna asks. "Might be my last for awhile. Can we go shopping?" Cassie asks. "Of course we can darling. You know I love shopping with you" goldust cheers downing his wine.

The girls look at him shocked before laughing.

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"Can't you talk your dad into building a mall in the valley? The drive is way too long" goldust sighs. "Couldn't imagine living in the valley without a mall" Steph huffs. "He has got plans for a mall. The old land just outside the main town. Its out of sight, close to the field where the events are held, no sound complaints or building complaints." Cassie admits. "Seriously? Takers building a mall?" Chyna asks. "Mhm, tired of driving me and my friends out of town to shop but also tired of the complaints of the youth being bored youths who destroy things." Cassie answers.

"Has he started it yet?" Goldust asks, pretty sure he's seen builders around. "Yep. Papa did the designing for it. The build layouts are amazing." Cassie smiles. "Never knew Shawn had it in him" steph huffs as goldust parks. "So...you got the goods?" Goldust asks turning to the back seat. Cassie smiles and holds up the black and gold credit card. "How the hell did you get that?" Chyna asks reading the name on the card. Vince Mcmahon. "Leon stole it a year ago. Vince knows but doesn't care as long as its not steph or Shane." Cassie shrugs. "Lets see about that" steph mutters stealing the card and walking towards the mall. "Oh this will be fun!" Goldust cheers climbing out.

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The girls walk around the mall spending vinces money with no worries.

Goldust watches as Cassie stops outside one of the only men targeted shops. "Feeling guilty bug?" Goldust asks grabbing chyna and stephs attention. "A little bit...especially John." She whispers. "Oh. All right I guess we can spend some money on those mutts" goldust huffs leading the girls in the shop. Cassie looks around. "It stinks." She winces. "Boys for you baby, boys." Chyna huffs looking around. "Well, they have a lot John would like. Not so sure about Leon." Steph admits. Cassie walks up to the basketball vests. "He was complaining his Lakers one needed replacing." Cassie states. "Then let's get him a new one." Chyna hums looking for his size. "Ill look for a baseball hat, for both him and Leon." Stephanie states walking off.

"What do you want to get Leon then?" Goldust asks taking the vest as chyna states she's going to grab matching shorts and sweat bands for them. Cassie frowns and looks around. Her eyes spot the not so sporty section of the store and she pulls goldust over to it.

"This could work" he nods looking at the leather jackets. Cassie doesn't say anything, just smiles as she picks up a necklace. She knows Leon does wear necklaces. He had a choker with a ring on it, just like their papa used to wear. The ring was a three way gift between Matthew, Valentina and Leon. They each got one and the ring has their initials in it.

She looks at the jackets and helmet accessories and smiles. "This will do perfectly." She nods.

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Leon frowns as John leans against him. "So tired" John whispers. "Your heavy" Leon frowns. "Goldust said they went out shopping." Shawn whispers. "Shes in trouble. She shouldn't be having a girls day out!" Taker snaps. "Its fine dad..we are both alive and well." Leon huffs. "John has a match tomorrow and he's casted up and unable to use his arm!" Taker barks. Leon waits for him to continue. He doesn't. "Oh it's alright dad, I'm just a little sore" Leon huffs looking at his slinged arm. John let's out a huffed chuckle ad he rests his head on Leon's shoulder and closes his eyes.

"And you'll have a cool story to tell your classmates" Taker tells him. Leon rolls his eyes and rests his head against John's. "Sorry we are late! We got cassie her last meal" steph states carrying bags. "Last meal" Shawn huffs helping chyna with the bags. "I brought apology gifts." Cassie whispers holding up two bags. Taker looks at them. One with Leon's name and one withs John. "You are still in trouble. But go" Taker murmurs. Cassie nods and moves to her big brothers.

The adults gather behind the sofa and watch the interaction.

"I brought sorry gifts" she states. Both boys open their eyes. "You didnt have to bug" John yawns sitting up. "Speak for yourself" Leon huffs taking the bag. John rolls his eyes grabbing his bag. He smiles at the basketball gear. "Thanks bug" John smiles hugging her as he puts the hat on. Cassie smiles and looks at Leon. The leather jacket folded on his lap, the little helmet horns accessories sat on them. He hasn't got his own motorbike yet but he has a helmet for when he rides with dad.

Leon isn't smiling. His face is flat. Cassies heart races as he examines the necklace. John watches him concerned. Leon runs his finger over the emblem. A small smile quirks onto his face. "Ill give you this, it's a good one" Leon states glancing at his sister as he holds the necklace up over his head. Shawn and taker can't help but smile.

The necklace was a silver chain with a little silver arrow head on the end.

"You're a lucky girl bug" Leon smiles. Lowering the necklace. "I forgive you for shooting me" Leon states leaning forward, allowing cassie to put the necklace on him. "I forgive you two" John yawns resting his head back on Leon's shoulder. Cassie smiles at her parents. "No more girls days out for a month" Taker tells her. "And we will talk more about what happened today later." Shawn adds. "Mhm told you a girls day at the mall would work" chyna smirks. "I want vinces card back" Leon yawns.

"You little shit" Taker growls causing the others to laugh.

[xoteajays]

When you said twenty episodes, just for a second I thought you really meant that you finished watching Vincenzo already. I was confused.

But. Yeah. I was understand you would do that recap for more serious episodes, to help you remember characters and events that you don't remember. I get that. But not for every episode. But... If you are going to have a musical opening song, than use the songs rather than those opening stories repeatedly. Because that really did annoy me though.

I don't know. Because Cobra, Hiroto, Jesse and Ice are actually evenly matched with each other. I don't know who would win if there are any winners. But I would love fights for the sake of fighting though. So it's possibly that could just happen for those characters. Unless, y'know... The newly formed Kuryu are bitches who use weapons (like the guns in the music videos). Or like Ryu always using his bladed weapons.

But the Rude Boys would definitely beat up Ryu.. And possibly get rid of Nikaido after what they did to Smoky. Especially Nikaido killing our boy Smoky. Actually! If Shion wants repentance, just kill Nikaido then if he wants to come back into the Rude Boys family. In my opinion.

~

Really? That's different. I don't know about every school in America.. I know that a majority has to learn Spanish as our secondary language.

And like I said, I never had any interest in learning that language since it never seemed interesting enough to want to learn the language. So many other languages I'd rather learn besides that.. But that's just my opinion. I wish we had opinions on which languages we could learn in our schools. Your mother does sound like my mother. I don't like that.

I would love to learn multiple languages. But, like I said, I'd really have my problems with auditory processing disorder. I don't have energy if I have bouts of depression from time to time being another reason for me. And because I'm so impatient that I get frustrated very easily too.

I have six grandparents... Well, I have two. My Italian grandfather died when I was twelve (a month before my thirteen birthday), and he died from cancer. My maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather just died last year; my grandmother died of CO2 poisoning to her brain so her death was most likely painful, and my grandfather has always had a bad heart. He was supposed to die from a bad heart when I was just a baby, around that year. But he'd always have major heart surgeries - when he needed it early couple years. Seriously. He has had so many heart surgeries in his life. He should have died thirty years ago, but I'd have him in my life (and my family's) for thirty years. So we can't even complain. He had him much longer than we were meant to have him. But he actually died from organ failure, his organs had fluids which is what caused him to drown during surgery. He did live longer though. And my maternal grandfather died this year; he also had fluids that'd went into his heart which he basically drowned in those fluids too. He never had any medical conditions either. So his death was sudden for us. I could say I've had my grandparents longer than most people did.

I was close enough to all of my grandparents.. But I was mostly closer to my paternal grandparents more because my cousin and I were just the only grandchildren from our father's side (so we were spoiled any time they saw us, and family meals too). But my mother actually does come from a huge family. She's one of thirteen children. And then the grandchildren. So because of my mother's side is very big, everyone's always having to fight for attention on that side of the family any time something happens. So I'm only somewhat close to them though. I'm closer to my maternal grandmother (rather than my grandfather) only because she is the one who really got me into astrology, spiritualities, the interesting hobbies she enjoyed. She's the one who got me into it.

So I have connections with each of them in some way or another.

~

Yeah. Rocky and Hyuga have three second in commands, Murayama and Cobra have two, and Smoky only has one. Which is funny to me.

Originally Rocky only had Kizzy and Kaito since they helped found his gang and the businesses. But then Koo came along possibly because Kizzy doesn't like overly serious work (unless the situation needs very serious work). Kaito only works when needed. So they had to get Koo to work for them because he's the most serious one. He's responsible.

Obviously Cobra has Yamato and Noboru, the reason why he created Sannoh was for his two closest friends after Mugen disbanded before - not including their older brothers from Mugen either. It's his reason.

Murayama's closest friends in Oya are Furuya and Seki. So his reason might be kind of similar to Cobra's to some very small extent anyway.

And during Hyuga's time in prison.. It was mentioned that Kato, Ukyo and Sakyo were leading the gang until Hyuga came back. Which does make me think of TR. In Tokyo Revengers, there is a squad for each of the characters. So most of these gangs seem like they would operate in similar ways is what I am getting from this. At least in my opinion.

Actually! Yeah. That. Because when Kizzy's too business recovering in the hospital.. Someone has to actually talk with the doctors when she can't. Talk about her health, the surgeries, and everything else too.

I don't know if Rocky can speak English.. I'm not really sure. Since the only time you do ever hear him speak English is whenever he says his phrase, "Party time!" Obviously writing a story is different. You can be able to create the characters in your own vision like you would always do. But that's because Rocky could have a foreign girlfriend. Or really any of the characters having a foreign girlfriend. If I wanted them to.

Kizzy, Kaito and maybe some of the other workers in Club Heaven are speaking English for foreign customers. Maybe the sociable workers.. Like maybe a bartender or even waitresses. Only because dancers do dance the whole time, not necessarily socializing with the customers.

That's funny. Because Rocky is usually issuing every order for them to throw people out of the club, or actually have those people beaten up behind the club. And usually Rocky gives those orders to Kizzy.. But it could only be done in stories? Now I can't remember that small detail.

But I'm happy that Takanori can speak some English. Maybe because Sannoh (and Mugen) have an American authenticity to these gangs... Same with the Itokan diner. Because their clothes has American flags (like their leather jackets), they have American branding too. You have been a lot of American musicians have their music in Itokan where so many albums and posters are. American games. So they even tried to mix American culture with Japanese culture for these two groups. So we know that Yamato doesn't know much English, but I am imagining Cobra speaking some English. Possibly Noboru, the Mugen men too.

~

Oh! I've did some research yesterday.. About how people would clean grillz. Since most of the characters in High&Low wear silver jewelry to their appearance (like silver grillz), specifically researching silver grillz for that reason. "Silver jewelry may be cleaned with salt water, baking soda, toothpaste or silver polish, and warm water." Minus the polish... But it really does seem like you'd clean your grillz in the same way you would also brush your teeth, or clean your retainers. Rocky's hygienic.

~

I know Su-hyeok was a bully when he was younger before he became a better person. And befriending just about everyone in the series.

But... I know there was at least two other bullies with Gwi-nam in that scene when they're bulling the girl and boy in the first scene, before it lead to the apocalypse. The bully in the blue hoodie was just eaten by the zombified nurse in the first episode. And the lead bully was trying to use Gwi-nam as bait for the zombies which caused Gwinam to just the bully's arm, he screamed, then he was swarmed by zombies to be eaten in episode nine (I think). Oh! But there were more bullies who're harassing the science teacher's son though. Like Hyeon-ju. Who does have the same name as Ju from BH. She was the first one bitten, and she was bitten by the rat not zombies though. She's the first infected. There were other bullies, but I don't think they ever mentioned any of their names though. So those bullies are probably already dead now.

yea 15 straight hours of vincenzo, no breaks agshdkdlsl

it was every! episode! and i was just like ugh skipskipskip. so annoying because i wasn’t watching on an app where you could easily just skip the intro and then i always had to wait for the episode to buffer.

i know they’re evenly matched, but the good guys always win! in the end, at least. i wanna see em all bruised up! fuck em up!! even if new kuryu uses weapons, i think they’d give up here for the moment, just to meet cobra and hiroto on their level.

rude just. kicking the crap outta ryu. beat his ass, break his swords. destroy him. and then go get nikaido. the boys get to be brutal when it comes to the men that killed their smokey.

~

i only have grandmothers currently. my biological paternal grandfather is (probably) still alive but nobody’s seen him in years. but my grandmothers are both kinda. bad. my paternal one is an irritating narcissist, and every story i hear about my maternal grandmother from my mum is entirely frustrating.

suffice to say i don’t have an excellent relationship with either.

~

rocky was like ‘i have to find a serious one this time’ when he was looking for a new second in command while kizzykaito was in america. then he met koo and went ‘ah perfect!’.

it’s so funny that hyuga’s the leader. imagine being a daruma guy that joined after hyuga was imprisoned. up until he comes back, it’s these three tall brutes being the leaders. then in walks this lil punkass dude and the three of them just fold and you’re like ‘what’s the big deal about this guy?’ and then later you watch him shatter someone’s arm and also bite a literal chunk out of someone.

since itokan was a mugen place first, i’m imagining that the main mugen trio (and maybe naomi) know some english. they could’ve taught cobra and yamato a little after they joined. didn’t two mugen guys leave to be overseas fighters? so they were probably decently fluent in english too, if they went to america.

~

ep4 of the worst of evil!

they called in the wife!! she went to eat with the boss!! she’s acting but she called him HANDSOME!! SHE PULLED OUT A PIC OF THEM AS TEENAGERS!! THEY KISSED AS TEENAGERS IN THE SAME SHOP THEY’RE HAVING A MEAL AT IN ‘95!!! HE’S STILL SO INTO HER!! i dont think she EVER liked him the same way! she lied that she got a divorce while in the car with the boss AND HER LITERAL ACTUAL STILL-MARRIED-TO HUSBAND!! DONT MANIPULATE MY BOY LIKE THIS! JUST BECAUSE HE’S AN IDIOT WITH A CHILDHOOD CRUSH WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE A GANG BOSS NOW!! DONT DO THIS TO HIM!! NO!

tortured. he’s so gonna be betrayed and get his heart broken.

also got some more boss backstory. his father was abusing his mother, so he ran away with his mother and younger sibling as a teenager. but his dad came looking for them and his mother ended up killing him. iirc he was still technically a minor so he and his younger sibling were put in foster care and that’s why he hasn’t seen the wife since they were teenagers. and it was a whole big drama in the church’s community.

HE LITERALLY ASKED THE COP TO HELP HIM GET WITH THE WIFE! AND THE COP AGREED BECAUSE HE’S UNDERCOVER. TORTURE!

also this is the second episode in a row to end with the cop swearing and an off-screen gun shot, except this time he probably actually killed someone.

[zh-lele]

Horizon

"Just like the sea that embraces the sky, I will be waiting for your arrival at the horizon, only because I understand, hands holding on this tightly should never be let go of."

▪︎Summary: For two years after he left, you had believed you were totally over your friendship with Liu Yangyang. Nonetheless, he has decided to come back for the summer and, after your mom and his convince you to go on a trip together in compensation for the lost time, he only manages to make you start questioning your feelings all over again.

"Yangyang, there's seriously only one bed?"

"Dude, don't complain. I'm paying for all this."

▪︎Pairing: Yangyang x reader

▪︎Trope + genre: ex-best friends to lovers, road trip au, fluff

▪︎Word count: 8.3k

▪︎Warnings: mentions of food, profanity (please let me know if there's more.)

Playlist: Horizon (WayV), Ease (Troye Sivan), Sincerity is Scary (The 1975), Your Ocean (Hoppipolla), Up From Here (WayV), Coming Home (NCT U)

For @nct-writers "Coming Home" event! Also the biggest!!! thanks to @give-seconds for helping me with this last minute 🥺🧡 Please check out Olivia’s works!

Friday nights were always exciting, especially during summer. Not even working until late or family routine could ruin the fact that Fridays always had too much good energy. Actually, you couldn't complain about Fridays, even if they turned chaotic.

Running orders for 8 hours straight, attending rude customers who couldn't wait long for their food, and the people's screams when they were getting impatient couldn't bother you, not when you knew you would be free for the entire weekend after that. Plus, the pay was decent for someone who didn't have to worry about being on time for the rent or buying food for the whole month. 

Having stayed in your hometown after high school while most of your friends decided to study abroad was hard at first, but the comforts of living quietly with your parents and the good friends you made at your summer job would make you forget about it pretty quickly.

You were changing out of your McDonald's uniform when you heard your name being called from downstairs. Your mom's steps up the stairs and to your room could be sensed immediately after, so you didn't even bother screaming back at her to see what she wanted.

"Today is a special day!" She said excitedly, after you told her she was good to enter your room.

"Mom, we literally have dinner at Mrs. Liu’s every Friday."

"But Yangyang is joining us tonight! He came back from college to spend the summer here."

The happiness she carried was noticeable on her face. You knew very well your mom loved Yangyang as if he were her nephew. It had always been like that. You can't deny that when you were a little kid, it made you jealous that Yangyang was your mother's favorite. But now things had changed.

"He asked if you were coming with us. Dress nicely! I think he's pretty excited to see you."

That's strange. You thought as you saw your mother leaving your room. You and Yangyang had been best friends since kindergarten, until he left for college two years ago, and you stayed in the city you both grew up in. Naturally, it made you drift apart.

Nonetheless, that wasn't the exact reason you two stopped talking and seeing each other. The thing is, Yangyang found a girlfriend during the last year of high school; she was sweet, beautiful, and very friendly to you. That last year in school, you would hang out with them as she felt close like a sister, but that was until summer came and Yangyang decided he could only dedicate his time to his girlfriend.

You weren't the jealous type, and you were convinced you didn't like Yangyang, but you surely missed the friendship of years you two had built. You would talk to him to do something or just chill in his room like you used to do, but he was always too busy with his girlfriend. When he had a little bit of free time, he wouldn't contact you. Instead, he would sit on his computer and play games for hours. When he finally agreed to hang out with you –which turned out to be rarely– he had to leave early to see his girlfriend.

At first, it made you really sad seeing that Yangyang didn't want to put any effort into your friendship. But when summer ended, and you managed to see Yangyang only once –and considering you lived next door– sadness turned into anger. You missed your best friend so much, and you grew tired of always being the one showing interest. Friendships can't be one-sided. So you decided you weren't going to beg for affection where there wasn't any for you.

Two years passed like that, barely hearing about him and his college life, because he didn't come back once he moved to the campus. You weren't sad or angry after so much time passed; you just didn't know how you felt towards Yangyang anymore. The only thing you knew was that seeing him again after so long was going to be strange. And maybe, in the deep end, you wished he didn't have to bring his girlfriend with him, so you could at least get a little of his attention.

Standing outside the door of your neighbor’s that Friday night didn't feel as warm and welcoming as usual. The nerves in your stomach told you so. You couldn't quite decipher why you were so nervous, though. Maybe it was because you had a quite stressful week and you were able to relax. Maybe, you didn’t like the smell of food after delivering so many orders at work. Or maybe, it was because you saw it would rain that night, and you hated storms while you were out of your house. And maybe, the possibility that it was from seeing Yangyang again was quite considerable.

—

The moment Yangyang gently touched your back, to seconds after strongly wrapping his arms around your body, you felt the world stop, your knees weaken and your heart accelerate its beats.

"How are you doing?!" He asked, still hugging you tightly. It was hard to believe you were actually hugging your ex-best friend after so long. It felt right. You couldn't deny you endlessly longed to feel him so close again.

"I'm- I'm really good!" Your answer came out shaky because of a nervous laugh you couldn't quite control. The situation only became more dangerous for you when Yangyang decided to rest his lips for a good few seconds on your right cheek.

Because he loved your cheeks, and he knew you loved the affection, but maybe he wasn't aware of the effect on you. An encounter that, you assume, lasted for a couple of seconds, felt like hours until the wave of feelings was too much to handle. Gently placing one hand on his jaw and another on his shoulder, you pushed him away. The air wasn't getting uncomfortable but thicker, too charged because of the friction your rollercoaster of emotions was causing.

Maybe you have liked Yangyang since middle school. The truth was, two years weren't enough to forget the feelings that had been built and maintained for much, much longer. You still loved your old best friend endlessly. But it was also true that, no matter how much you loved him, you couldn't forget all the trouble he had caused you when he left your life. Forgiving and forgetting are two different things.

"You look really good," he acknowledged looking down at you and nodding. "We really need to hang out now that I'm here. I missed you."

His hand found yours, and he held it lovingly. The feeling was nice, and the sight of your intertwined fingers was captivating. Your heart wanted to stay like that forever, hanging from his hands. But your mind kept insisting that you shouldn't go so fast, you shouldn't fall for his charms –although you had already fallen a while ago– because coming and going was something usual to Yangyang. You, on the other hand, had a little bit of a hard time adjusting to his ways of loving and maintaining friendships.

"I missed you as well," you told the truth, with a smile inevitably taking over your face.

"Are we ready for dinner?" Mrs. Liu's voice was present, directing you to take a seat at a table where plates, cutlery and glasses were delicately placed to receive her favorite son with his favorite dinner: ravioli with pesto and so much cheese on top that it was difficult to see the pasta under it. You had always thought it was an awful combination, but your old friend was weird.

Yangyang's mom and yours got close since you moved next to their house that she almost felt like an aunt to you. For that reason, as soon as you sat on the table and intended to start digging after a tiring shift from work, the questions started. 'y/n, how is that cute coworker of you doing?’ ‘Have you made him your boyfriend yet?' And you would answer the same thing every time: 'no, Mrs. Liu, Shotaro and I are just good friends' putting the effort into bringing a polite smile on your face. But your mom surely felt the same towards Yangyang—reminding you every Friday after the Liu's how much she missed her little nephew. In that order, it didn't take long for the questions to reach your ex-best friend.

"You didn't bring your girlfriend this time?" Your mom spoke to him from across the table. It was true that the questions would get annoying when asked to you, but in that precise moment, you thanked your mom for letting you get the information you were too afraid to get on your own.

"I didn't," he replied calmly, mouth full of pasta; it was an old habit of his. "Actually, we broke up months ago."

The sided smile on his face and his calm tone made you suppose they either ended it on good terms or that he was pretty over it at that point. You observed Yangyang's mom silently nodding, hearing his son talking about the breakup of a relationship of almost three years. "I think we reached a point where we were together out of habit, and it was kinda draining me."

"It was the best thing to do. You fought a lot during the end," his mother continued. "But she was a good girl," she ran his eyes from his son to your mom and then back to you to reassure you, "we only have good memories of her."

It wasn't news to you, though, because they already fought a lot back when you were still in high school. Yangyang and you were still good friends, and he would always come to you to clear his head and help him think straight.

During their second year of dating and Yangyang's first year of college, they broke up and got together two times. You knew because he contacted you seeking solace, and you talked for hours on the phone trying to convince him to fix his relationship. These were the only two times you talked to your best friend that year. A little happy new year's text exchange, and nothing else after that.

"Yeah, yeah. It's cool now. We're totally cool," the boy finished before resuming his eating. Nonetheless, you didn't miss the little glances and smiles he sent you as his mother continued to talk about him and his relationship with the girl.

You really didn't know how to feel about the whole situation. Yangyang's behavior was strange, but what felt out of place was that you were kind of happy and relieved knowing he was no longer with someone. It's not that you didn't like the girl; you just had really missed your best friend. Even though you liked to believe you were way past your old friendship with him, no longer hurt or angry at his absence, a minuscule part of you still waited for him to come knock on your door to spend the days together, like you used to do back in school.

Mrs. Liu's living room was still full of pictures of the both of you in their backyard. Pictures of the summer afternoons at the pool where Yangyang taught you how to swim, pictures of your last trip together in the snow, your last vacation at the cabin in the woods, and pictures of the two of you dancing together at your graduation.

But you were adults now. You had a job five days a week, nice co-workers, a career to still take care of, and you had Shotaro, your best friend you met two summers ago.

In the two years you didn't see each other, Yangyang had got to look more mature, so you thought maybe he had stopped playing so many computer games and finally focused on a different thing. He definitely looked taller and more athletic than in high school, which made you wonder if maybe he was spending some of his time at the gym or if he decided to chase his dream of becoming a professional basketball player at college.

Things were different, and no matter how much you missed those old times, you needed to accept you weren't the kids who would spend all afternoon messing around with the ball in his yard anymore.

Mrs. Liu's voice, once again, snapped you out of your state, eyes no longer lost in the memories the pictures displayed all over the house held. "I asked you how work was today?"

"Oh! Uhm, it was pretty good. Busy with teens and families with their little kids, kinda annoying," you had to recognize, "But I got paid today, so I might use the money to go out for the weekend."

"Huh, where are you going?" Yangyang inquired.

"Uh, it's been a while since I've been to the island. I might go for the weekend," you explained to the boy in front of you. "Relax at a nice hotel, you know. Some self-care time."

"That's such a coincidence, isn't it, Yangyang?" Her mother asked him, confusion taking over the boy's features, "Didn't you say you wanted to go to the island too, with your friends?"

"Oh, yeah! Uh-"

"You could go together!" It was your mom's turn to speak, excitedly suggesting that you should make your weekend trip together.

Excellent time to bring such an idea, mom, really. After two years without seeing each other, seriously?

"I mean…" Yangyang tried to speak without being interrupted, his narrowed eyes jumped from your mom, to his, and finally softly landed on you, "That actually sounds like a great idea."

A smile was plastered on his face while looking for any sign of agreement or at least enthusiasm on your side. It was already weird enough having dinner together that night; how could you ever manage a trip together after so long?

But you seemed to be the only hesitant one, as your mom was quick to agree for you. "That's the best idea! Oh, my little kids are going on vacation together again, but this time alone!"

You saw her reach for Mrs. Liu's hand over the table and give it a little squeeze, adoration planted in both their faces looking at you.

"I knew this day would eventually come, but I'm not sure I was ready for it."

"Mom, we'll be gone for only two days," Yangyang said, a little irritated at the two old ladies.

"So we will be going? Like, already confirmed?" The surprise couldn't leave your tone, and you watched Yangyang shrug and smile brightly at you one more time.

If he smiled one more time like that, you thought you could easily agree to whatever he proposed.

"It doesn't sound that bad? Like, I'd really enjoy going with you, and I owe you some time together. You're my best friend."

His words threw you off, and it made you feel guilty that, while he still consider you his best friend, you had dropped that title from him a long ago.

"I'll book the hotel and everything, leave it to me." He already had pulled out his phone from his back pocket, and you assumed he was looking for accommodations at the small island close to the city but with crystalline waters from the ocean.

"Uhm, but… like, I wanted something very specific."

Yangyang looked at you from above his phone screen as you talked.

"Like… a place close to the beach, but it also has to have a pool, and breakfast included, maybe room service, and a spa would be great…"

"Hey, I got it," he flashed that damn smile again, "You trust me, right?"

"Not really."

He only chuckled at you, getting up from the table without saying a word and coming back with a tube of ice cream and two spoons. Cookies and cream ice cream was, firstly, Yangyang's ultimate favorite food; he would go crazy and buy dozens of tubes at the store until one day he got really sick, so his mother didn't let him have it more than one time a week. And secondly, your favorite flavor to share together since you had memory. It was an exclusive Yangyang-and-you thing.

—

"I'm leaving like, right now."

You struggled to get the suitcase down the stairs, phone dangerously stuck in between your shoulder and ear as you spoke to Shotaro.

"This is so crazy. Are you gonna tell me everything that happens? None of that 'what happens in x place stays in x place," you heard your friend's voice through the speaker.

"Taro, nothing's gonna happen. I'm gonna spend all day switching locations from the spa to the restaurant and vice-versa."

"Sure, honey." You knew he was rolling his eyes on the other side of the phone. "You're going on a trip with your lifelong love! All the plans you have right now, would be ruined as soon as you get there together."

"I know," you sighed, looking at your suitcase, now waiting down in the house entry. "Taro, this is so fucked up."

"Yeah… you are so fucked up," you heard him agree while laughing. "But like, are you sleeping in the same bed?"

"Fuck no. Separate beds, I made that clear."

"Good… You could still sneak in, though."

"Shotaro," you warned him, "I promise absolutely nothing will change after this ridiculous trip. I like, really even doubt we are gonna spend much time together." 

"Yeah," you heard him sigh on the line, not believing a word coming out of you, "just wait until you tell me about it when you come back."

He wished you luck dealing with your ex-best friend, you exchanged goodbyes and that was pretty much it, leaving a laughing Shotaro at the end of the call.

Yangyang insisted he would pick you up even if you lived next to each other. You were already waiting outside your door, suitcase in hand, when you saw him show off his ability, moving back his car five meters to stop in front of you. Wearing sunglasses, a backwards cap smoothing his long brown hair, and a smirk on his face. It was typical Yangyang behavior.

He rolled down the passenger side window and leaned until you could see his huge smile. It was the same smile he wore the first day of preschool, the same smile that never failed to brighten your high school mornings up, and the same smile that more than once had already made you question your heart.

There were things about Liu Yangyang that, no matter how much time passed or how much you wanted to deny it, would always make you feel the same about him. Like that first day of preschool when you decided you wanted to see that beautiful smile for the rest of your days. That you coincidentally lived next door only made it easier for you to fall for his charms over time.

"Hey, shawty!" He called and motioned you to get in the car. "Get in here for once!"

"You are so extra," you told him once you were sitting in the passenger seat. "You really didn't have to do all that. I could've just walked to your car."

"But I'm good at driving backwards, aren't I?" He lowered his sunglasses down to the bridge of his nose to slightly watch you over them, brows going up and down and wearing a smirk, suggesting that you better agree he's the best driver in town for going five meters on reverse.

"Alright, Schumacher. Where are we going?"

"Liberty Island, duh," he replied,an obvious tone in his voice, starting to leave the city.

"You're so funny," yet, your face didn't reflect any fun. "I mean, which hotel did you book?"

"Oh," you saw a smirk coming to light again, "It's a very good one, it has all you want, and it will take only an hour to get there. I don't know how to get there, though."

"You're kidding."

Since the moment he assured you he had "everything under control" when you started planning the trip, things felt a little odd. Trusting your gut always meant doubting Yangyang's decisions, just like right now, when neither of you knew how to get to Liberty Island. You couldn't blame him, though, because you weren't any better. The trips to the land were always made with your parents or the school. Not that you paid much attention to the way all those times, let alone Yangyang, who was always immersed in his mobile games every chance he got.

Luckily for the two of you, devices these days could get you anywhere. So after arguing for a little just for the fun of frustrating each other, a road trip playlist you had made the night before was blowing through the speakers, sometimes interrupted by the GPS lady giving indications.

In contrast to the prior night storm, during that early morning, the sky was clear blue, and the sun shined just the right amount to touch your skin and leave it warm. A summer breeze was felt running as it entered through the driver's opened window, constantly messing with Yangyang's hair while he sang to the entire music selection. 

"Stop staring, creep," the glance he gave you was quick to regain focus on the road.

You made sure you had stopped daydreaming and probably smiling like a fool while watching your friend drive. But his smile was too contagious.

"I'm sorry," he continued, "I know I've been a shitty friend."

"It's okay," and it truly was okay after so long. There was no point in faking it for him or for yourself. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

It wasn't hard to feel at ease with him again, it was easy to recall all the good times you've spent together, and that's why it had always been so easy to just love him. Platonically or not, he made love feel so boundless and timeless; it was just right to be there with him.

"Should we play a game, and the loser has to pay for the rest of the hotel stay?" You heard him propose after a while.

A confused look took over your face. Again, trusting Yangyang to take care of everything should have never been an option. "But I thought you said you were going to take care of it?"

"Technically, I only paid for the reservations. Rock, paper, scissors, and the loser pays."

You should've seen this coming seventy-five kilometers earlier.

"Hell no, I hate rock, paper, scissors. If we do this, we better play word-chain."

"That's even better," he said, a mischievous smile showing. "You start, and don't go easy on me just 'cuz I'm a foreigner."

"Don't get too excited. You're gonna lose all that confidence in a few minutes, and I'm not paying for a thing," you stated before thinking hard on the first word. "Car."

"Reunion."

"Uhhh, nap."

"Nap?" Yangyang asked, chuckling. "You tired?"

A smile inevitably formed on your lips hearing his laugh. "Yeah, kinda."

"Alright, so P?" He asked, turning his head to you momentarily, and you quickly nodded in response. "Alright, so, P… pretty."

"Dude," a protest came out of you along with a sigh, "that's such a hard letter… yesterday," you followed after a few seconds.

"Y again… yummy."

"Yummy?"

"Justin's song! That's a thing!"

You sighed one more time, not sure if it was because of your companion's questionable music taste or because you had to think of another word starting with y. Again. The morning sun had started to hit a while ago, and it was warming you as much as it was making you sleepy. Leaving with an empty stomach did not make the situation any better. You missed the breakfast your mom prepared for you because you woke up late.

"Yolk?" The next word finally presented, a big yawn escaping you in the process.

The sun coming through the car windshield kissed your skin, giving it an additional glow and reddening to your cheeks. And as he observed you getting sleepy like a baby on a morning trip, it was getting harder and harder for Yangyang to think of another thing to say besides compliments for you.

"Cute."

"That starts with C, not with K, dumbass," you told him while keeping your eyes closed, ready to go to sleep on the passenger seat.

"No, you look cute," he clarified, laughing again. "And your face is getting all red."

"It's because the eleven a.m. sun is starting to hit, and you wouldn't turn the goddamn air con on."

You got up from your seat to get to action and get the inside of the car a little bit more chilly. Yes, it was starting to feel like hell inside the vehicle. But inside your head, the blood was rushing and accumulating, raising your cheeks' temperature even more because of Yangyang's comment. But you could never admit it out loud—not after two years of not seeing each other.

"Are you sure it's not because I called you pretty and cute?"

"You ever get red from excitement because you won a game over spending a considerable amount of money?" You asked, head still resting on the car window with your eyes closed.

"You didn't win, game's not over yet."

"Yang, you know the rules. You said the wrong word, so you pay for the hotel."

A combination of whines, curses and attempts to keep fighting the fact that you already had decided he was going to pay for the hotel left Yangyang's mouth. It didn't stop you from isolating and managing to sleep for what felt like a good couple of minutes before he had to bother you again.

"Would you caress my arm?"

The question immediately brought you back to the trip you had with your class during the last year of school. Yangyang already had his girlfriend back then, but that wasn't an impediment from spending some friendly, good quality time together. It made you feel bad, but when she wasn't around, he was very different towards you. And maybe he acted differently in a platonic way; you would've never tried to cross the friendship boundaries while he was in a relationship, no matter how much you loved and wanted to be with your best friend all the time. But the week you two spent together during that trip felt really good.

He had asked you the exact same question back there. On a loud bus, busy with people too excited to be able to sleep, you still managed to find the tranquility beside him. The seats weren't the most comfortable and the interior of the old bus at night got pretty cold, but it didn't matter at all with Yangyang by your side. His big puffer jacket found place over the two of you, keeping you warm, allowing you to fall asleep holding hands under it.

It was one of the best weeks of your adolescence. The most memorable parts being the burgers after coming back from the club at three in the morning, accidentally napping together after an exhausting excursion, or that morning you broke a plate when you arrived too sleepy for breakfast, and Yangyang decided to cover you so you wouldn't have to pay for the damage.

"You're going to fall asleep."

"I won't, I swear. It's only twenty minutes until we get there," he asked once again, extending his right arm to you even more, expectantly waiting for your delicate fingers to start brushing his skin.

–

Arriving at the hotel, driving down the cobblestone streets, trees as old as the ruins of the island's first habitants adorned the roadsides. The calm and peaceful feeling came with the soft and warm summer breeze and ruffled your and Yangyang's hair, still sitting inside the car, absorbing the beauty of the place no matter how many times you have already visited it as children.

Car parked in front of an old but remodeled building, Yangyang awaited you with the passenger door open and bags in hand for you to get out. The hotel really seemed to have everything you wanted for this weekend. Bikes parked on the driveway pavement ready to explore the surrounding countryside, a nice pool peeking out from behind the building, and access to the beach. An old, covered pier by the sea awaits the residents of the ranch to create more moments in it, with its old promises of love and friendship engraved on the worn wood.

Checked in and key in hand, you followed your old friend up the wooden, thick stairs to your shared room. You always used to have sleepovers when you were kids, so you didn't understand why the idea of sleeping in the same room as Yangyang suddenly felt so weird.

However, everything became officially weird the moment Yangyang put the key in the lock to open the door and, walking down the small hallway, the first thing you saw was a king-sized bed waiting for the both of you. No sight of any single beds, nothing in the middle of that large mattress that would indicate that it was actually two small individual beds joined together.

"Yangyang," an exasperated sigh left you, eyes closed, holding the bridge of your nose, "there's seriously only one bed?"

"Dude, don't complain. I'm paying for all this."

You watched him enter the room ahead of you. There wasn't a single trace of discomfort in his voice or demeanor. Were you the only one feeling so weird about sleeping on the same bed again? Was it because, maybe, you realized you liked him way more than before?

You followed him inside to start accommodating your bags. "But there weren't, like, single beds?"

"There weren't," the look you gave him must have made him think that he should have given a better excuse than that, so he added, "single beds for single rooms. And there were rooms with like, three beds. But that's more expensive, y/n. One room with a double bed was cheaper than two singles."

You looked at him, perplexed, before closing your arms and simply stating, "that's bullshit."

"It's not!"

"You had one job, Yangyang. I knew I couldn't trust you to book the hotel."

—

After settling down and deciding on which side of the bed (separated by a good amount of pillows in the middle) you were going to get, the two of you decided to go outside and explore a little bit of the surroundings. That was when you found an old but still functioning basketball court. Yangyang was quick to grab a ball and drag you into a game of baskets.

Ever since he was little, Yangyang had been passionately playing ball. So, after a few minutes of playing holeshot, it was no surprise when the tally both of you had on the game indicated that Yangyang was outscoring you by about fifteen points.

At some point, it became a game of who was best at blocking the other from getting the ball into the basket. Laughter could be heard more than the hitting of the ball against the ground. You would weakly try and wrap your arms around Yangyang's torso to stop him from moving and getting more points. Anything, to win at least one round, even if you had to play dirty.

"You know," you stared as the ball left Yangyang's hands and went in and out the basket one more time, giving him another point, "I think I just brought the wrong shoes."

Yangyang's only response was bursting out laughing at your silly excuse. "You're just bad at this. You've always been."

He stopped his movements and got closer to you, bangs sticking to his forehead thanks to the sweat from all the playing under the midday sun. You were sure your skin would be bright red tomorrow, yet you didn't care. It felt like going back to your childhood days in Yangyang's backyard, where you would play every day under the sun, leaving you with your skin burnt by the end of the summer. The irregular tan marks you got because of constantly playing with different tops always made your mom a little mad.

Exhaustion took over the both of you, so you didn't need much words to agree that Yangyang had indisputably won the game and that you needed a deserved break after working out for the first time in months.

A small and light lunch was prepared under the shade of the old and worn dock. Some fruit Sandos, a couple of caprese sandwiches, some sodas, and a bag of chips –because your friend couldn't live without these– that Yangyang had previously packed in his house were arranged on a cute little blanket. You sat facing each other, calmly coming down from the excitement of the game and quietly enjoying each other's company. The sound of the waves was the only companion to fill a silence that wasn't uncomfortable at all.

The digestion of the food was spent between random chats catching up with your lives and a lot of laughter, remembering old times you had spent together. Towards the middle of the afternoon, after having collected the remains of the small picnic, you found yourself playing in the waves with Yangyang.

Not once did he let go of your hand, scared that the force of the troubled water would take you too far from him. And not once was the brightness of the sun as strong as the smile of the boy who stayed all the time by your side until you had to get out because its temperature was descending.

You watched the sunset together, wrapped up in your hoodies and a shared blanket. The warm tones of the sunset painted the entire landscape, along with your skin, and shined directly in your friend's eyes. The same eyes that once held the promise he would always be with you. As well as the horizon that held the promise that a big shiny star would come back to meet the sea every day.

"Stop staring, creep."

His soft yet playful tone snapped you out of your trance, making you hide your face from the embarrassment of being caught, admiring your friend's beauty under the light of the remaining rays.

"Sorry, it's that you're ugly," you tried to play it cool, but the blush in your cheeks betrayed you, even under the intense orange light hitting your skin.

That didn't go unnoticed by Yangyang, who only took the opportunity to make you blush even more. It was his favorite thing to do, giving you compliments and its after-effects. "Well, I think you're really pretty."

—

Later that night, after the two of you had a fancy dinner in beach clothes at the hotel restaurant, you went up to the room ready to sleep. All of this aside, it was almost impossible to actually get in the room because of the big elephant waiting for your friend and you.

The truth was those feelings that you had had throughout high school and towards Yangyang had managed to flourish and intensify through the day. Or maybe they had never died in the first place.

On the other hand, it was undeniable that Yangyang had been flirting with you ever since you got into his car that morning. If you were a little skeptical, you could say since you sat across the table from him the night before.

The thought alone that Yangyang possibly liked you back made you foolishly smile in the middle of your brushing of teeth. Through the reflection of the bathroom mirror, you observed him standing by your side, the corners of his lips turning up at the sight of your dreamy smile. It was a new image that you longed to get used to in your everyday life, along with all the little and domestic moments that reminded you of when you basically lived together. The lunch, the games, the endless talks about nothing and everything. If he didn't spend all day in your house, you would do it at his place.

By the time you were done with your night routine and out of the bathroom, Yangyang was already laying on top of the bed and in the middle of his essential night routine. He wore the same pajamas with his cats' faces imprinted on them that he kept since the last time you had a sleepover together. Multiple sounds and voices were coming out from his mobile, indicating that he was in the middle of a game battle. Probably a match of League of Losers with the rest of the game addicts. That was, the rest of your high school friends.

Hesitantly, you tucked yourself on the bed by his side, still leaving a good portion of space between you and him. Unconsciously, you spent all afternoon preparing yourself for that moment. You didn't want anything to feel weird, as it didn't feel the same to you sleeping in the same bed with Yangyang after realizing you still liked him. The long to be physically closer, to caress his beautiful features, or to hold him against you for a long time only grew more every minute you spent with him.

You had been handling it all just fine. Until a different reality– the one of not sleeping in the comfort and security of your room– hit you.

"Oh shit."

Yangyang briefly looked at you, sheets covering you up to your neck ready to drift out, so he closed the game and left the phone on the nightstand next to the bed, joining you under the cloth. The action surprising you. "What's wrong?"

"Uhh," you tried to think of a way to make your words not sound stupid or immature, knowing that Yangyang could use the following information to tease you forever,  "you didn't bring a plushie with you or something like that, right?"

"I didn't. Why do you need a plushie, anyway?"

"The last couple of months I can't… really… I don't know why but I can't sleep alone, you know," the confession finally came out of you at the same time you dared to look in his eyes. "So I hug my cat or a plushie."

You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to comfort yourself, already feeling like it would be a long night just trying to fall asleep for hours. It had been a long time since your thoughts would do nothing but invade your head at night and cause you some irrational fears. You had discovered that hugging your cat or one of the big stuffed animals you had bought just for that, while some movie played in the background and filled the silence, helped you fall asleep faster.

"Dude," your friend called for you, a smirk appearing on his lips, and he said, "I'm literally right here if you wanna hug someone to sleep."

The thought had crossed your head you couldn't deny. Yet, you would never want to cross those kinds of lines after so long without sharing a sleeping space with him. On the other hand, it seemed like all the flirting and the sudden physical closeness didn't affect Yangyang at all. He had always been a natural flirt anyway. Which made you question, one more time, if you were the only one with the feelings on the surface in that room.

"We could like, hold hands or something?" You proposed, as your voice only got smaller and smaller. "I'm sure that should be enough."

It wasn't, though, but you think Yangyang sensed it as he got closer to you under the sheets and held your left hand tightly. Without letting go of him, you turned on your side to face him, and closed your eyes as some movie kept playing and illuminating your friend's profile. You could feel the warmth that radiated off him, and as the two of you were exhausted from playing all day under the sun, it didn't take much time for you to let yourself fall in Morpheus' arms.

—

The constant dripping of rain against the windows and against the floor of the room's balcony brought you out of your sleep. Waking up to a rainy day on the weekends could make you feel many different ways. Generally, you would spend them alone, with the only company of music and nostalgia, not being able to be outside distracting yourself.

Yet, the atmosphere as the water droplets kept falling and resonating in the ceiling felt very soothing. At some point of the night, your body had entangled and found refuge in your friend's arms. And the pillows and the hotel's mattress were the best quality, but you discovered that nothing compared to the comfort of Yangyang's chest under the side of your head.

You didn't dare to move or change your position even long after you woke up, as the urgent need to be in his arms hadn't ceased, but it had calmed. You knew right away that you were afraid of getting used to that sense of home –the one that was Yangyang– too quickly.

The arm under your side started to move, and the soft tips of his fingers caressed your back affectionately. At the same time, his morning voice came out to leave goosebumps on your skin in contact with his touch. "We should've checked the weather before we came."

Still drunk on sleep and his touches, only a soft laugh and a nod of your head could come out as a response.

It didn't feel unfamiliar, and it didn't feel out of place. It was just right and lovely to wake up in Yangyang's arms. The kiss he left on top of your head after you tightened your grip around him only added to that warm feeling of being home.

"We could have some breakfast."

You turned your head and rested your chin on his chest, and with his arms still holding you in his embrace, your gaze searched for him when he was already looking at you. His messy hair spread out on the pillow and the raspy voice that came out of him only indicated a good night's sleep. 

You nodded once again, returning to your initial position, a cheek pressed against the old but still soft cat pajamas. You could already hear your stomach growling and demanding to be fed.

"You think it would be weird if we kissed?"

Now, that question made you start doubting reality. Waking up wrapped in Yangyang's arms already felt a little unreal. The sense of peace and calm was so strong you would have believed it was all a dream and that you never woke up from the night before in the first place.

But as you slightly sat up on the bed to see if he was being serious, and after making sure there wasn't any expression that indicated he was joking, you only could think of:

"It could turn out weird."

He was your best friend, for goodness sake. He was the same boy who lost his swimming shorts at that same island when you were thirteen, so he had to borrow one of your floral ones and wear it until you came back from the school trip. The same boy, who once tried to fill the class' water dispenser with cola, but you ended up drinking tasteless brown colored water for weeks. And also, the one who gets confused and ends up eating cat food instead of cereal.

"But some friends kiss each other."

"Yeah, but," you tried to think of an excuse, "I have morning breath."

It's not that you never thought of kissing him, as you had the biggest crush on your best friend since you were in middle school. But somehow, something was stopping you from doing it. Maybe it was too soon, and you had too little time to process a lot of emotions. Or, maybe, it was because boys who obsessed over computer games totally turned you off.

"I don't really care," he insisted with a shrug, "I want to kiss you."

You sighed. But you could try and give it a chance?

"Not sure if this is gonna work out-"

Yet, Yangyang was determined to have a good morning kiss. "Why? You don't like me?" He inquired after interrupting you.

"No– It's definitely not tha-"

"Is it because you've never kissed someone before?" He pressed.

"What? No, it's just-"

"You gotta know," he reached for your hand and started to caress the back of it, "you don't have to be embarrassed about never being kissed before." He looked at you dead serious.

"Yangyang, I've kissed others before," your tone now carried a note of annoyance.

"So you just don't want to kiss me."

"I'll kiss you if you stop being so fucking annoying."

You saw him smirk. "Okay."

It went by pretty fast. You could feel the softness of his lips on yours and the tip of your noses touching, but it was a quick, short, dry kiss. Just the mere contact of his thin lips for a few seconds. No movement, just a lot of tension.

It felt, indeed, really weird. Maybe it was because you've spent too much time as friends, you thought. Perhaps, as much as you wanted to grow closer and closer to Yangyang and share much more with him, it wasn't what destiny had planned for you. Perhaps, not all friends could casually kiss.

"Maybe we just have to grow accustomed to it," his voice took you away from your thoughts.

"Do you… want to try again?" You asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion while looking at him.

He took both your hands in his to bring you closer to him, the two of you still sitting in the middle of the king-sized bed. Outside it was still raining, but the subtle sun rays were sneaking through the curtains and illuminating the features of the boy in front of you. His eyes held sincerity and remained fixed on yours. There was a promise hidden there that, in reality–he hoped–, wasn't necessary to say out loud for you to know how much he actually loved you.

"y/n, I love yous between you and me don't feel friendly anymore," he confessed, "at least for me. And I want to try to kiss you again right now." 

He came a little closer and took your face in his hands, to gently caress your cheekbones and then outline your lips with his thumb. His gaze couldn't stop drifting from between them and your own eyes.

"I want to be able to keep kissing you from now on, not as just friends."

He finished the sentence in a whisper that hit your lips and got entangled with your own breath before you crashed your mouth against his, this time sharing a real kiss. None of you needed many more words. After a weekend of reunion and tension, flirty comments, gazes full of adoration, and your feelings blooming all over again, your passionate kiss was enough to give him the permission to keep doing that for as long as he pleased. The smile that he couldn't suppress in between kisses and the way he held onto you reassured you of his previous confession. Indeed, I love yous between the two of you weren't just friendly anymore.

The rest of the day was spent cuddling and eating breakfast in bed, then crashing at a pillow and blankets fort and watching movies cozied up together as the afternoon arrived.

"I missed you a lot," you turned your head to look at him squished on your side as your second movie choice came to an end. "Please, don't leave me again."

The sun was setting once again, painting the sky in lilacs and pinks, coloring the room with its light and indicating that more rain was to come later in the night. Rain could empower reunions and hasten goodbyes, so it was still a bit difficult to get rid of that uncertainty installed in your chest.

"It's inevitable that I'll have to go again, and you will stay here," he said, putting you in a hug for the millionth time that day, "but we will see each other, I promise. You can come visit anytime, seriously, and I'll also come back to you."

Through the balcony window, you could see far into the distance how the sun returned to the sea in the horizon. There was something melancholy about sunsets, but there was also a promise in them, just like in the eyes of your best friend when he was looking directly at you and the evening lights reflected in them.

"When you miss me, and I'm not here, go to the beach and look for the horizon. Know I'll be thinking about you every time I see the sky and the ocean touch each other, and hopefully, you won't feel so lonely. Even on rainy days when we can't go out, I know the raindrops connecting the sky and the sea will remind me of you."

He finished with a gentle kiss on your cheek, and drying a single tear that had escaped after hearing him talk.

"Why does this feel like it's the end of summer?" You asked in a whisper, no longer sad or doubtful but finding some calm and comfort in the promise of the horizon.

"I know, right?" He laughed softly. "But I came back for you, so I'm staying with you."

And what you loved the most about the feeling that an ending was near, is that, in fact, you knew you still had a lot of time to stay in each other's arms, to watch countless sunsets together and to keep chasing for the promise of coming back to one another no matter what.

[bangtanreadingcorner]

the fact is • jeon jeongguk

plot – you're a waitress that gets stuck serving jeon jeongguk, who can't make his mind up on what to eat.

words – 6.4K

"Indecisive snot, aren't you?"

The words are out before you could stop them. Your natural instinct is to take it back and apologize, but this idiot has pushed you over the edge. He has changed his order six times and that was after adding sides and removing this or that. The customer - the arrogant brat of a chaebol, you thought to yourself - looking at his menu snapped his gaze to you, eyes widening in surprise, disbelief and was that intrigue? Nope. Probably just a trick of the light.

"Excuse me?" He says, eyebrows still raised to high heaven.

You weigh your options silently for a few moments. You could try and kiss his ass and loose your job. Or you could finish what you started and loose your job. Because there was no question, you were loosing your job. Speaking to a customer like that, in a restaurant as high end as this? The ultimate no-no.

The choice was a no brainer.

You give him a flat look, "Are you deaf?"

A surprised scoff leaves him and for a moment he stares at you, and then a smirk pulls at the corners of his mouth. "Do you not know who I am?"

"Of course I know who you are, Jeon Jeongguk, I don't live under a rock." You roll your eyes at him.

"Huh." He frowns at you.

You frown back, "What?"

"I've never met someone so . . . outspoken before. Normally people are all compliments and well wishes." Jeongguk doesn't say how delightfully refreshing it is. Like a spring breeze, spreading through his veins and breathing colour into his monotonous life. This is the most excitement he's had since he went parachuting eight months ago. That is a sad thought, but unfortunately a true one.

"Yeah, well," You shrug, tapping your pen against your notebook. "Kissing ass and lying are two things that didn't make it onto my list of qualities."

"Speaking your mind, obviously did." He notes, still smirking.

"Excellent observational skills there, Sherlock." You deadpan.

Jeongguk laughs and you don't like the way it makes warmth simmer in your belly. He looks up at you with dark eyes and you privately think for all that the media gets wrong, they have one thing right. Jeon Jeongguk is ridiculously attractive. "What's your name?"

"Are you blind or illiterate?" You raise a brow down at him. He looks caught off guard for a moment.

"Um...neither?" It comes out unsure, hesitant.

"Then what exactly is stopping you from reading my name badge?" You ask, tapping the badge on your chest with your pen. You were already losing your job, so you might as well make the best of it.

He looks embarrassed for a second, eyes dropping to the table, cheeks dusting the faintest shade of pink.

You raise a brow, "So, are you going to order or are you going to complain to my manager and get me fired?"

"Fired for what?" He asks.

You want to snap at him, but the genuine confusion in his eyes made you hold your tongue. For once. In a 'duh' tone, you tell him. "Speaking my mind."

"Ah. Right." Realisation lights up in his eyes. "I could have you fired for speaking to me like that." He says, like the thought never occurred to him.

"I'll go get my manager then." You say and turn on your heel, not at all surprised.

Jeongguk's mind goes into an epic panic as you turn your back on him and he blurts a quick, "Wait."

"What?" You ask, turning back to him with an uninterested look.

"I said that I could. Not that I would." He tells you and it makes your speechless for about five seconds.

Then you squint at him with a slight glare, "What do you want?"

"Excuse me?"

"You obviously want something in exchange for keeping quiet. What is it?" You speak matter-of-factly. After a moment you add, "Just know, if it's something sexual or in that direction, I'd rather loose my job."

Jeongguk gapes at you, looking stunned. "I don't know whether to be insulted by the insinuation that I need to blackmail someone into sleeping with me or that you'd rather loose your job than sleeping with me."

"So sorry for offending your delicate sensibilities." You drawled sarcastically. "You still haven't told me what you want."

"Well, I like coming here often and when I do and you're my server, I'd like you to always speak your mind around me." He said, with the smallest of shrugs, looking down at the silverware on the table instead of at you.

Confusion sweeps through you, his request catching you off guard. "Really? That's it?"

"Yes." He nods stiffly.

"I don't understand." You admit.

"You don't have to. You asked me what I want, this is it." He looks at you again, eyes still dark and piercing and you can't understand what he's thinking.

"Fine, okay, yeah, I can do that." You nods eventually, noticing how his shoulders untense just a bit. You look at him, curious and full of questions, but cautious enough to not actually ask. "Are you gonna order now?"

"Why don't you surprise me? I can't decide what I want to eat." He says, handing you the menu.

"I'm shocked." You deadpan with a faux smile, before looking at him seriously. "Are you allergic to anything?"

"No." He shakes his head, lacing his fingers together and resting his hands on the table.

Your mind races for a few moments before settling on a dish. You nod at Jeongguk. "Okay, I'll be back with your food in a while then."

***

Three weeks later, you haven't served Jeongguk again. It's not that he hasn't been in, oh no, he has. You've seen him, caught him staring and then looking away quickly. He just hasn't sat at one of your tables again. Each week, the tables get rotated and there is four rotations, so you'll only be on Jeongguk's usual table next week.

You walked into the kitchen, just coming off your lunch break when Lee stops you and says, "Table 12 for you."

You look at Jae, who was on table 12 this week and got a hostile glare. You ignore her and look at Lee with confusion, "But I'm not on table 12 today."

"You were requested and customers here get what they want." Lee shrugs, giving you a 'it is what it is' look.

"By who?" You ask, having some idea of the answer. There is only one customer you know that would request you. You are always polite to the other customers but with an air of detachment, that keeps them from prying and you from getting into trouble. Until three weeks ago, that is.

"Jeon Jeongguk." Lee says, confirming your suspicions.

"Motherfucker." You swear.

Jae looks down her nose from you, "Don't he used to it. It won't last. He'll get bored of you soon enough."

"I hope so." You huff, as Jae walks away with a less than pleased expression.

"What?" Lee asks, her shock obvious.

"You heard me."

Lee tilts her head at you in disbelief and curiousity, "So, you're not trying to get into his pants?"

"Uh, no." You frown at her. Sure, he's hot but you know your place. You also need money than you need to get laid. "Why?"

"Most girls try when they work here, but everytime they try something, Mr. Jeon complains and they get fired." Lee explains.

Something suddenly made sense to you, "Is that what Jae's trying to do?"

"No one will say it to her face, but yeah, it is." Lee nods, shrugging a little. "She's jealous that he requested you, when you've worked here just over a month, served him once, and she's worked here for almost two years and he hasn't blinked in her direction."

"Huh," You frown, lost in your thoughts. "I wonder why he didn't get me fired then."

"Why? What did you say to him?" Lee eyes you curiously.

"Called him an indecisive snot." You smirk gleefully, happy that you got away with talking to him like you want and not getting fired because of it.

"Right." Lee says in a tone that made it clear she doesn't believe you.

"I did." You insist.

Lee waves you off, and you exit the kitchen, walking into the dining room, heading over to Jeongguk's regular table.

You look at him as he comes into your line of direct sight. His one leg was shaking, eyes shifting around the room, fingers tapping the table restlessly. When he spots you walking over to him, he stills completely. A smile - a cute one, you admit to yourself and no one else - spreads on his lips as he breathes your name, "Y/N."

You give him a look, "Did you miss me or something?"

"What? No." Jeongguk scoffs quickly. "I was bored. And you cure my boredom."

You raise your eyebrows at him, head going forward a little, "I cure your boredom?" You repeat, slowly. Maybe he's kidding.

But Jeongguk just nods at you as if it makes all the sense in the world, "Yeah. It's like live entertainment while I eat."

You scowl at him, "I'm not a circus clown."

"That's not what I meant!" He exclaims, voice a little too loud, causing heads to swivel in your direction. He takes a breath and speaks again, softer this time. "I just meant that it's nice. Or it was nice, the one time I actually got to talk to you."

"So, you did miss me." You tease good naturedly. Jeongguk doesn't answer, just stares resolutely down at the table. You sigh, feeling fond instead of annoyed. You hide a smile as you ask, "What will it be today?"

Jeongguk looks at you again, hesitantly at first, then fully when he sees your expectant gaze, "Surprise me."

Now you were surprised, "Again?"

"I liked what you ordered last time." He does that small shrug again. Actually, it's less of a shrug, and more a slight lift of the shoulders. You notice that he has broad shoulders, and the suit he's wearing only makes them look better. You push those thoughts away, focusing on the conversation.

"And if you don't like it this time?" You challenge.

"I did say surprise me, and surprises can be positive or negative." Jeongguk decides not to tell her that this is his favorite restaurant and he knows the menu by heart. He knows and likes every dish, so there was no way he wouldn't like something she serves him. And he's curious as to what she'll decide this time.

You snort, laughing lightly, "You know, you're not as bad as I thought you were."

Jeongguk looks mildly offended, "I'll have you know, I'm a catch."

"I'm sure." You nod, hiding a grin.

"I am." He insists and you had to admit, he is attractive.

"Yes, right up until the moment you open your mouth." You say honestly, writing down one of the dishes on the menu.

"Rude." He pouts a little and you suppress the urge to giggle, of all things.

"Maybe," You concede. "But it's the truth." You picked up his menu, turning on your heel to go to the kitchen.

"So, how do I . . . improve?" Jeongguk asks when you come back with his food, continuing with the conversation where you left off.

"Do I look like a life coach to you?" You set down the food. "Enjoy."

"Thanks." Jeongguk grins at her. "And, no, but if I went to one they'd tell me what they think I want to hear, not what I need to hear."

You stare at him for a few seconds and he looks back unflinchingly. "Well," You press your lips together. "I guess you should start with why you want to change."

That makes Jeongguk falter. He can't very well say, 'so I can impress you, since my money doesn't seem too' and he thinks for a bit. "I have come to realise that maybe I treat people unfairly based on how much money they have. I would like to change that."

Your eyebrows goes up, "That's surprisingly deep, coming from you."

"I'm not swallow." He defends himself.

You nod complacently, "Right, well, the answer is easy but actually doing it, will all depend on you."

"What do I do?"

"Just, think before you say something. Ask yourself, can my words hurt this person?"

"And if they deserve it?" Jeongguk wonders.

"The right answer would be to still be considerate, because two wrongs don't make a right, but I hate being a hypocrite, so go for it, if they deserve it. I mean, it's not like I held back when you annoyed me." You gave a shrug. "I should go. We're not allowed to loiter at the tables."

Jeongguk wants to ask her to sit with him and keep him company some more, but he knows he would be setting himself up for rejection. Instead, he just looks at her with a half smile. "Just when I think I have you all figured out, you do or say something that proves me wrong."

"My mom always used to say, you can spend a lifetime with someone and still learn something new about them every day. People evolve everyday and you'll never be who you are right now, tomorrow again."

"She sounds like a wise woman." Jeongguk remarks.

You smile, nostalgia making your heart warm, "Yeah, she was."

"I'm sorry." Jeongguk says, catching onto the past tense. A lump forms in your throat out of nowhere.

"Thank you." You swallowed thickly, clearing your throat. You gave him a shaky smile, hoping he wouldn't notice. "See, you're doing better already."

Jeongguk did notice but decided not to call her out on it. He just smiled up at her softly, watching after her figure when she walks away.

***

"You know, if I didn't know that you come here everyday, I'd say you that you are stalking me." You teased Jeongguk when you go to take his order for the fifth time in a row. You've had a day off, inbetween, but when you showed up for your next shift, Jeongguk was there and everytime he's requested you. By now, whoever was on rotation for his table, just lets you know whenever he shows up.

"And how do you know that?" Jeongguk raises a curious eyebrow at you.

"I complained to Lee about you and she told me." You explain to him, mentally running over the menu in your head. Jeongguk told you on the third day to just order for him everytime. So, when you walk to his table under the guise of taking his order, the two of you just talk.

"Lee?" He inquires.

"She's my friend and another server here."

"Ah." Jeongguk nods in realisation. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"You can ask, but that doesn't guarantee I'll answer." You say, giving him a cheeky smile.

She has a beautiful smile, Jeongguk thinks to himself. He shakes himself out of his thoughts and looks her in the eyes, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

You frown down at him, finding the question odd. He's never asked anything too personal. Just normal things, what you're studying, what you do when you're not working. Sometimes you'll tell him a story of something dumb you did as a kid, but he'll never outright ask. "No."

A thought suddenly occurs to Jeongguk and he doesn't really want to ask because that'll destroy every hope he has but he needs to know. He quirks a brow at her, "Girlfriend?"

You snort at the question, "No, I'm straight. My cousin swings both ways though. Nearly gave his mom a stroke when he came out at our annual Christmas family dinner two years ago."

"Oh." Jeongguk wants to sag in relief, wants to let out a thankful cheer, but settles for just a small smile and letting out a breath of relief.

"Why are you asking?"

He does that little shrug that isn't really a shrug thing. "I was just wondering. You never really talk about one, or even someone you're interested in."

"Okay, if there was someone, why would I tell you?" You are teasing, but he doesn't know as you look at him blankly.

"I was just curious." Jeongguk huffs defensively.

"Yeah, yeah, settle down." You snicker. After a moment you say, "I guess I don't talk about it because there hasn't been anyone to talk about."

"Really?" Jeongguk beams up at you hopefully, eyes glittering.

"Really." You roll your eyes, but there was a slight warmth in your cheeks that wasn't there before.

***

Seven months and many short conversations later – in which you learnt many things about Jeongguk and vica versa – you walk up to his table with a smile, genuinely excited to see your sort of friend. The smile fades from your face when you lay eyes on him – his whole body was tense, you could tell even from a distance, he was glaring out the window, clenched fists laying on the table. Something wasn't right. You quicken your pace, concern swirling in your belly. You stop at his table, feeling your heartbeat quicken. "What's wrong?"

"None of your fucking business." He snaps at you, words so venomous it makes you take a step back in shock, but mostly hurt.

Jeongguk regrets the words the moment they're out because he didn't mean them. He doesn't want to fight or argue. He came to see her to feel better. Now he snapped at her. He waits, for whatever tongue lashing she is about to give him. He'd deserve it and he'll take it. But she says nothing. Somehow her silence was much worse than any insult she can hurl at him. Her face closes off, he watches it happen as her fingers tighten around the pen and notepad she uses to take orders, and panic sparks beneath his skin, overriding all the anger he feels.

No. His mind rebels against the thought immediately.

"What can I get for you today, Sir?" Her voice is perfectly polite as she asks the question, like it was the first time he met her. Until he made her snap after changing his order for a sixth time.

No, no, no, no, no! Not this. Anything but this. His heartbeat quickens.

Jeongguk was quickly turning frantic, "Y/N, please, I-"

"We have a lovely special today." She goes on as if he didn't speak, eyes void of the usual fire when she'd argue with him or the gentle warmth when she sometimes smiled at him and called him an idiot. It was the only times he ever liked being called an idiot.

He listens to her droning on about he specials, explaining them. Jeongguk's heart drops all the way down to his feet. It feels like someone pulled a rug from beneath his feet, and he is thrown off balance from the how utterly wrong it feels, how much it bothers him, hurts him, that she is talking to him like he is just another random customer. Like she hasn't told him how she got stuck in a tree, climbing after the neighbors cat. Playing with their cat because her parents never allowed pets.

A cold feeling of dread washes over him because Jeongguk has no idea to fix whatever he just fucked up.

***

You very almost cry when Jeongguk snaps at you, feeling irrationally hurt by his words. You shove it all down as you pull up your walls and shut him out to protect yourself. You serve him as quickly as possible, walking away without a friendly word.

"Trouble in paradise?" Jae smirks at you when you come back from serving Jeongguk.

You glare at her, not in the mood for dealing with her jealousy today. "No, just looking at your face is enough to put anyone in a bad mood."

Jae's eyes widened, fury spreading on her face. "You bitch!" She yells, raising a hand to slap you.

You smirk, catching her wrist easily. "Careful, just now you break a nail."

You let her go, walking away. You wait until you're in the bathroom, safely away from prying eyes in a locked stall, before letting you face crumple, only letting one tear escape before getting yourself under control.

You finish your shift, completely exhausted by the end of it – emotionally and physically. The last thing you have the energy for, is Jeongguk, so of course he's waiting for you at the personnel entrance and exit when you step outside. Intent on ignoring him, you pretend that you don't see him and you start walking in the direction of the train station.

Jeongguk follows you, apparently not easily deterred. "Will you just talk to me please?"

"What would you like me to say, Sir?" You ask in your most professional voice, looking ahead and not glancing at him.

"I'd like you to talk to me and stop treating me like I'm a customer." He says, sounding frustrated and desperate.

"You are a customer, Sir." You answer, still not looking at him.

"For fuck sakes, will you stop with the 'sir' already and talk to me like you used to?" Jeongguk all but explodes, stepping infront of you, and looking down at you for a change. It's startling, for a moment. You always look down at him when he sits at the table and it never occured to you that he's taller than you. He sets his hands on your shoulders (they're big and warm and you feel surprisingly safe, even when he squeezes slightly), frantic and desperate eyes looking into yours. "You don't even have to talk, you can yell or scream or shout for all I care, just please stop."

"You want me to talk? Fine." You glare up at him, shrugging out of his hold and taking a step back. He's way to close for comfort. "Look, I get I'm not exactly from the same side of town as you are, but that doesn't mean I'm incapable of empathy. I'd bet that I have more empathy than most people you know. So, when someone I see as a kind of friend, snaps at me when I ask them what's wrong out of concern, when they could have said they don't want to talk about it, it hurts." You rant, a little out of breath. "Do you understand that? You hurt me."

"I'm sorry. Fuck, I am so sorry, you have no idea. I shouldn't have snapped at you and I regretted it the moment I did it. I was angry, and I know it isn't an excuse but it's the truth."

"Sorry isn't going to fix it," You say, voice edging on being too sharp. Your heart twists when his face falls. You soften a bit. "But it is a step in the right direction."

Jeongguk perks up, "What's another?"

"For starters, next time you don't want to talk about me, tell me instead of snapping at me." You give him a pointed glare, crossing your arms over your chest.

Jeongguk gives you an apologetic look, "Again, I'm sorry. I honestly didn't mean to snap at you. I came to talk to you, hoping I'd calm down a bit. I had an ugly fight some dumbass that tried to sell low quality material to us and I took it out of you."

You are reminded of the fact that he is the heir to his father's multi-billion won international conglomerate and for some reason, it makes you sad. You smile at him, ignoring the sadness. "Well, you're forgiven but I'm not forgotting."

"I wouldn't dream of it." He grins cheekily. He paused for a moment, then smirks at you. "So, we're friends now?"

You groan, "I should have known that would come back to bit me I'm the ass."

***

A large bouquet of pink tulips is delivered to you the next morning. Inside is a card that reads:

Thank you for never giving up on me. -JJK

Lee whistles loudly when she sees them and your cheek burn. "Someone must really like you."

"It's from a friend." You say, ignoring the fluttering in your belly.

"My point still stands. Those are out of season, you know." She remarks.

You nod, "I know. They're my favourite."

You finish your shift with a smile on your face. Until your boss calls you into his office.

"Yes, Sir?" You ask, still smiling and the bouquet of flowers in your one hand, backpack up on your shoulders and ready to go home.

"Y/N. I'll get right to the point. There's been a complaint that you've been too friendly with one of our customers." He says bluntly.

You almost drop your flowers in shock, "What?"

"I'm sorry to do this, Y/N, but it is a direct violation of the contract you signed when you started here. Professionalism is our top priority. I have no choice but to fire you." He says, and he does look sorry as he holds out an envelope to you. "This is the week's wages. Again, I'm sorry. You are a good worker."

"You're firing me because of something someone accused me off?" You ask, indignant and a little angry. "You're not even going to ask me if I did it? And if I did it, why I didn't stop?"

"The accusation came from a very trustworthy customer that was concerned that our reputation might be damaged." Your manager says. "If it gets to the owner and he finds out I did nothing, I could loose my job."

You scoff, taking the envelope. If you didn't need the money, you'd have thrown it back in his face. "So, it's okay for me to loose mine?"

"I'm sorry."

"So am I." You say before turning around and leaving.

***

The first day she's not there, Jeongguk brushes it off, thinking she has the day off and forgot to tell him. The second day, he starts to worry, just a little. The third day, he almost thinks himself into a mental breakdown. The fourth day, he demands to see the manager.

"Mr. Jeon." The manager greets with a smile that was clearly fake. Jeongguk thought back to Y/N, who never smiled much but when she did, it was honest and pure and breathtaking. He misses it and would do whatever it takes to get it back.

"Where is Y/N?" He demands, voice and gaze equally cold and intimidating. It's a side of him that she broke through within minutes, digging up the real Jeongguk and pulling him to the surface. The past months, he's been able to breathe again, live instead of just existing, waiting for the next person that wants his money. But that cold and calculating side of him is still there.

The manager pales and Jeongguk's worry increases. Did something happen to her? The manager shifts on his feet but still doesn't answer. "If you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I will call the owner and ask him to answer me."

"S-she was fired." The man stutters out.

Jeongguk feels his stomach drop. She never outright said it but he knows she depends heavily on the income from this job. It worries him, because he has this urge to take care of her. He wants to give her as much money as she needs, for her to live comfortably, but he knows she wouldn't take it. He glares at the manager, "Why?"

"Someone filed a complaint against her. She was getting to friendly with y-you." The manager says, looking a little terrified.

Jeongguk clenches his jaw, "And instead of asking me if I have a problem with it, you fired her?"

"Her contract says-"

Jeongguk stands up, towering over the man in height and size. "I don't give a shit what her contract says. How many times have I filed a complaint when the servers made me inappropriate offers and crude suggestions? I never once complained about her."

Jeongguk doesn't give the manager anymore time to do anything other than letting out a squeak before turning around and leaving the restaurant.

***

Five days after you were fired, you started too feel it. The absence of Jeongguk's presence. At first, you didn't notice it. To wrapped up in finding another job, worried about money and going to classes to think about it. But today is Sunday and the diner you found a temporary job at two days ago, is closed on Sundays. It's crappy pay and not alot of hours either but it was something and it'll help until you could get something else.

You lay on your bed, listening to your mom vacuuming the living room. University housing was expensive and you'd rather live at home and save the money than having even more debt. You laze the day away, knowing that none of the projects you have, is due that Monday. Your thoughts drift back to Jeongguk, like it always does. You honestly didn't think you'd end up missing him this much.

You like him, so fucking much. You figured it out a long time ago. You also know that you come from two different worlds. You are fine with that, you accepted it and you were content to be his friend.

Now he's completely gone from your life. Ripped out of it without warning.

You go to your classes the next day. In your last one, you doodle absentmindedly on the corner of your notebook, only half listening to the Professor. When the class is over, you look at what you drew and then groan out loud. Jeongguk's initials. Of fucking course. You scoff to yourself, leaving the class and then the building. You want to go home and sulk in privacy.

Outside, the sun was shining and you stood still for a moment, soaking in the warmth.

"Y/N!" A voice yelled your name and your head whips in the direction because you know that voice. You look, eyes searching desperately because you are so sure it was his voice. You're not hallucinating and- and there he is, running over to you.

"Jeongguk? What are you doing here?" You ask when he stops infront of you, completely bewildered.

He looks panicked and frantic. Like that day he snapped at you. He grips your shoulders, the hold almost painful. "You weren't there. I went to the restaurant and you weren't there and the manager told me you were fired and-"

"Jeongguk, stop. Breathe." You say, reaching up to hold onto his wrists, lightly rubbing your thumbs over the inside of his wrists. You wait until his grip loosens, until he was holding instead of gripping. "How did you find me?"

"You told me where you go to school one day." He answers off handedly, eyes scanning over your face, almost as if memorising the little details. Guilt flashes on his face, "I'm sorry you were fired."

You laugh at his words, removing his hands from your shoulders because it was getting a little too intimate, your heartbeat speeding up. "You know, half the time I see you, you end up apologizing to me."

"Hey, it's weird for me too." Jeongguk pouts and you have this urge to rise on your tiptoes and kiss it. "I'm not used to apologizing."

"Don't worry about it, I'm not angry." You wave him off.

"Can we talk?" He pleads and you agree immediately because you missed him so much.

"Yeah, there's a park nearby."

"Scared to be seen with me?" He teases with a smirk, and for a moment it's like nothing has changed.

You snort, "Don't you know? The walls has ears and Twitter accounts."

Jeongguk laughs, loud and unrestrained, throwing his head back. You couldn't help but smile. "This way."

You guide him to the park. It wasn't very big, and not a lot of people came here either, so it was perfect to talk. You each sit down on a swing.

"What are you gonna do now?" Jeongguk asks.

You shrug, "No clue, but I'll figure something out."

A guilty look spreads on his face again, "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have-"

You cut him off, "Shouldn't have what? Let a server talk back to you? Yeah, probably not but we both enjoyed it, so it's on you as much it is on you. More on me though, because it was my responsibility as an employee to treat you with respect."

"You did," Jeongguk says immediately, sincerely. "Even when you were at your most brutally honest moments."

You give him a slight smile. "Well, fun as it was, it seems our path has come to an end."

"Why?" Jeongguk frowns heavily at you.

"Huh?"

Jeongguk looks you in the eye, gaze piercing. "Why does it have to end?"

You snorted, thinking he was messing with you but his eyes were completely serious. You answer in a matter-of-fact tone, "Because you're you and I'm me. Besides, most of the time we argued."

"Y/N." He says your name like it is his greatest wish. He stands up from his swing, making his way infront of you and pulled you to your feet. He looks at you, eyes impossibly fond, "That wasn't arguing. It was banter. If you think that's arguing, you probably think my parents goes to war every now and again." He smiles, a little nervous. "And foe the record, I would rather argue with you for the rest of my life than ever kiss another girl again."

Your mouth drops open in shock, and you really don't know what the fuck to make of that. "I-"

He cuts you off, "And I don't want this to be over."

Silence falls between you two. You stare at him, he stares back. Until, finally, you blurt, "I don't know what to say."

Jeongguk is a little bit disappointed, but not surprised in the slightest. At least it isn't an outright rejection. "You don't have to say anything. Just answer one question."

"Okay?"

"Would you want to date me?" You choke on thin air from shock. That means that he feels the same way as you do, right? Happiness makes your blood sing. Then it sinks in and reality comes back to you. Your happiness evaporates and you swallow thickly. You open your mouth to tell him 'no', but once again Jeongguk cuts you off before you could say something. "Forget about our social status, forget about what people would say and think about me and you. Together. Really think about it. I have, and I think we could work, if you gave it a chance."

"And if it doesn't work?" You ask softly, vulnerable in a way you've never been before. Distantly you wonder how he knew what you were thinking.

"Then at least we can say we tried." He shrugs.

You look down at the ground, wanting to think without looking at him, into those mesmerizing eyes of his. He could ask you to commit murder, and chances are that you'll do it if he looks at you long enough. When did you become so completely gone for him? You think about it, but there was never a moment where you realised, this is the person I like. Maybe . . . maybe it's because you've always liked him. Right from the start, even when he was infuriating. The thought is startling, but you aren't scared by it. It's more like another piece of the puzzle between you and Jeongguk has fallen into place. But there is the problem of your different social statuses. Yeah, Jeongguk said forget about it, but for how long? If you try and this does work out, then eventually you'll have to face the reality of everything that comes with being together. Somehow that scares you more than if it doesn't work.

You look back up at him, and you know – despite all your worries and doubts – it was never really a choice because you choose Jeongguk the moment you chose to accept his offer of being honest all those months ago. "Okay."

Jeongguk looks like he's ready to argue, "I-" You watch as your answer sinks in. The stunned expression almost makes you laugh, "What?"

"Did you want me to say no?" You give him an amused look, smile curling the corners of your lips upwards.

His eyes widens and he shakes his head frantically, "No, no, no, I just wasn't expecting you to say yes to quickly."

"That makes two of us." You admit. Jeongguk is right though, better to try and either fail or succeed, or never try and forever wonder what if. You smile up at him, heart soaring happily. "You make a good case. You should have become a lawyer."

Jeongguk's eyes light up, "Just wait until you hear the case I have to make on why we should kiss."

"Tell you what, if you kiss me within the next three seconds, you don't have to make a case at all." You bargained with a grin.

Jeongguk didn't need to be told twice. He leaned close and kissed you, slow and deep, one hand slipping into your hair and the other curling around your waist, pulling you close to him. He breaks the kiss, licking his lips and your eyes are drawn to the action. You lick your own lips, liking the taste of him. His voice is deep and rough, his cheeks flushed, when he asks, "Want to go get something to drink?"

"Yeah," You nod with a goofy smile, your own cheeks also flushed, feeling like you might float away at any second. "I could go for a smoothie."

"I love smoothies." Jeongguk grins back at you, taking your hand, lacing your fingers. His other hand was still wrapped around your waist and hold you close.

An old question flashes across your mind as you run your hands up his chest, liking the strong, study feel of it, until you can lock your arms around his neck. "You know, I've been meaning to ask."

"Mmm?" Jeongguk hummed in acknowledgement, showing that he was listening.

"Why didn't you get me fired that first day?" You ask, aware that you are suppose to be getting smoothies but it could wait for a bit.

Jeongguk had been expecting this question for a while, and had come up with an answer a long time ago. He looks down at her with all he feels for her, a content smile on his lips.

"Because you were the first honest person I have met in years. Because you put me in my place without thinking twice. Because when you glared down at me after I changed my order for the sixth time, there was a fire in your eyes that woke something inside of me that I couldn't control. Not then and not now." He leaned down, rubbing his nose against hers, the gesture shy and intimate. "Because the fact is, you had me at 'indecisive snot'."

the end.

A/N: Tumblr and it's 250 box limit will be the death of me, I swear. I get it, I do. But come on! This very almost didn't fit, I had to edit and mush several chapters into one. Eventually it fit, but NEVER AGAIN! It was exhausting and time consuming. I'll rather split it again, like I did with two of my other fics. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. This took me a while with all the editing. Purple hearts for all of you!! -Kayla.

[darkqueenofshadows85]

Why the Meta Era as a Whole Frustrates Me

Greetings, mortals! Today, I will be talking about my absolute least favorite era of Sonic games, the dreaded Meta Era (2010-2021).

I will explain in detail what aggravates me most about this particular era, and why I consider the 2010's to be the worst decade for Sonic overall.

Please keep in mind, this is MY OPINION! You don't need to agree with it, but please don't complain in the comments section if you happen to like the Meta Era games.

Anyway, let us begin! ^^

Writing and Characterization

One of the many things that aggravates me most about the Meta Era is that it completely disregarded every character that isn't Sonic, Tails, Eggman or Orbot and Cubot. And to make matters worse, the characters were either badly flanderized or demoted to background characters.

The main characters (save for Amy) have had everything that made them likable in the previous games removed in favor of either flanderizing them or writing them completely out of character for no reason (Tails in Lost World is a prime example of this).

Sonic has been flanderized into an insufferable asshole who takes nothing seriously and constantly cracks unfunny "jokes", Tails is made into a complete coward who always relies on Sonic to protect him (if Forces is anything to go by), Eggman is no longer a threatening villain in the slightest, Knuckles has been reduced to a braindead muscle, and the less said about Shadow's horribly mangled characterization, the better.

And most of the new characters who were introduced during this era (in the games, at least) aren't much better, as they're either forgettable (most of the Boom characters), missed potential (Infinite) or they just straight up suck (the Deadly Six).

On the subject of writing, the scripts for these games took a nosedive when SEGA hired Ken Pontac and Warren Graff (collectively known as Pontaff) to write for the series. Not only did they go far too overboard with forced jokes and overly childish humor, they also knew nothing at all about the Sonic The Hedgehog series prior to coming on board. They just looked it up on Wikipedia and called it a day. When you hire writers who don't understand the source material, nothing good comes out of it, and Pontaff's writing for the Sonic series is one of the many textbook examples of this. Say what you will about Sonic 06, but at least the writers tried with that one. With the games written by these two idiots, it just feels like they gave up.

Tone

Okay, again I must ask... How? How did we go from the action packed shonen anime vibe of the 2000's Sonic games to... WHATEVER THIS IS?!

Apparently, SEGA came to the conclusion that nobody liked darker storylines in Sonic games, so they thought it was a good idea to pull a Teen Titans Go! on the franchise and completely dumb down the overall tone and writing quality in order to appeal to a younger audience, and hire two writers who literally knew nothing about the franchise beforehand to write the scripts for these games. As a result, the Sonic games have devolved into a series of playable bad Saturday morning cartoons, with generic Mario-esque plotlines and heavy reliance on Internet meta humor to boot.

Honestly, I think it’s quite ironic that this past decade, Sonic became the very thing he was created to rival. He essentially became Mario.

Boring, Repetitive Gameplay

To be honest, I'm more of a story person than a gameplay person when it comes to Sonic, but I can't help but point out how bland and repetitive the gameplay has been in recent games.

For whatever reason, people complained about Sonic having different and unique gameplay styles and multiple playable characters 15+ years ago, so we ended up with a whole decade's worth of games where you could only play as Sonic. Combine all that with repetitive boost gameplay, linear roads and intrusive 2D sections, and you get an overly simplistic, barebones type of game that gets boring real quick.

Also, there are games released in the Meta Era that don't even feel like they belong in the Sonic franchise. For instance, Sonic Lost World's gameplay looks suspiciously similar to Super Mario Galaxy, and Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric looks and plays more like a poor man's Jak and Daxter than it does Sonic.

Bland, Forgettable Soundtracks

Sonic games are usually known for having amazing soundtracks, but the majority of the Meta Era games' soundtracks are very bland and forgettable compared to the likes of Heroes, ShTH, 06, Unleashed and Black Knight.

Reach For the Stars and Infinite's theme are the only two good songs from the Meta Era in my opinion, though I do find Colors' soundtrack to be fairly decent for the most part. The remixed music tracks from Generations aren't necessarily bad, but they don't necessarily bring anything new to the table either. Lost World's soundtrack is nothing to write home about, the Boom games' soundtracks are not worth mentioning, and Forces for the most part has an equally forgettable soundtrack, and Fist Bump is a dumb song in my opinion.

Waste of Talented Voice Actors

In every game from Sonic Free Riders onwards, the characters have been voiced by the Studiopolis voice cast, which included such talented voice actors as Roger Craig Smith, Colleen O'Shaughnessey, Kate Higgins, Travis Willingham, Cindy Robinson, Kirk Thornton, Laura Bailey, Quinton Flynn, Liam O'Brien, Patrick Seitz, among many others. Not only that, but Mike Pollock had also continued to voice Dr. Eggman, even after everyone else was recast. Sounds great, right?

Well, the only problem is that they have to work with these truly awful scripts they're given, and I don't know about you, but it truly bothers me listening to these otherwise talented voice actors spewing some of the crappiest dialogue imaginable.

I mean, come ON, SEGA! You go through all that trouble to hire talented, veteran voice actors who have done phenomenal work in the past, only to have their talents completely WASTED on Pontaff's shitty scripts?! When Mike Pollock is the only good thing about Lost World, putting in a great performance as always, then the result is what I consider to be the absolute worst Sonic game story of all time.

The term "good actors, bad script" definitely applies here.

Overreliance on Nostalgia

Another thing that I find aggravating about the Meta Era is that it had the mentality of "if we reference the old games, people will buy it!". Sonic Generations arguably started this trend by reintroducing Classic Sonic and reusing stages from previous games, but it was an anniversary title, so it made sense. The same cannot said for the games that came after, however, as games like Lost World and Forces seemed to rely on nostalgia just for the sake of it.

Lost World was like a mix of Classic Sonic and Mario gone horribly wrong, while Forces reused levels such as Green Hill Zone, Chemical Plant Zone and the Death Egg for the millionth time, heavily promoted the return of past villains, including fan favorites Chaos and Shadow, who don't even get proper boss fights, and most egregiously of all, it shoehorned Classic Sonic into the story.

I really don't get SEGA and Sonic Team's current mentality of playing it safe and continuously repeating what might have worked in the past other than they seem to be trying to appease that small part of the fanbase who complain and whine and cry at literally anything new that Sonic Team tries to do.

I don't know about you, but I want Sonic to move forward, not backwards, and this entire era just screams, "we're trying to be like Classic Sonic, love us!!" to me.

False Advertising

Another thing I've noticed where the Meta Era is concerned is that there have been some examples of false advertising and overhyped marketing.

Sonic Boom could be considered a minor example of this, as its first episode led some people to believe that it was a narratively driven action series when in reality, it's an episodic sitcom.

Sonic Forces is definitely the worst offender when it comes to overhyped marketing. It was built up to be the next big Sonic game, only for the final product to be a complete letdown. It promised a darker and more serious narrative, only to give us the same generic filler plot with many of Pontaff's trademarks (stupid jokes, poorly written characters, etc). It tried to adapt the storyline of SatAM and the Archie comics, but it failed miserably. The new villain, Infinite, was extremely overhyped and built up to be the next big Sonic villain, but he turned out to be a whiny, edgy toddler whose backstory is very displeasing, and ruined another character (Shadow) in the process. And as previously stated, it overhyped the return of antagonists from previous games, but out of the four returning villains, Metal Sonic and Zavok are the only two you actually get to fight in game, as Chaos and Shadow are both easily defeated in cutscenes.

That said, Sonic Forces is without a doubt, the very definition of wasted potential, and the most egregious example of overhyped marketing when it comes to the Sonic franchise. It was hyped up to be an action packed, grandiose Sonic game on par with the Adventure/Dark Era titles, but the final product was just a bland game that totally missed the spirit of Sonic.

My Final Thoughts

Overall, I consider the Meta Era to be the absolute worst era of Sonic, and a big part of the reason why both the Sonic franchise and its fanbase have become a laughingstock in recent years. The writing is atrocious, the storylines are bland and unremarkable at best, it tried so hard to be "funny" that it came off as desperate, it butchered the characters we all know and love... This entire era feels like a slap in the face to longtime Sonic fans. With the exception of Mania, these games made Sonic into a parody of himself, both in terms of mediocre quality and how they portrayed and butchered the characters. Colors and Generations may have relatively decent gameplay depending on your view, but in terms of story, they absolutely destroyed these beloved icons, and it only got worse with Lost World, Boom, Forces and Team Sonic Racing! And don't even get me started on the glitchy, seizure-inducing disaster that is Sonic Colors: Ultimate. Let's all hope that the Meta Era officially ended after Pontaff left, and things get better for the Sonic franchise. No more filler stories, no more character flanderization, no more copying Mario, no more out-of-place Classic Sonic, and no more bullshit meta “humor” talking down to old and young fans alike. SEGA needs to stop making fun of themselves and bringing down the brand of Sonic because "ha ha 06 was bad, if we make fun of ourselves first, then the blow will be less severe". No. They need to treat themselves and the franchise with the respect and dignity that it earned and deserves. The Shonen style of the 2000's Sonic games needs to make a comeback, and hiring new writers who know and actually care about the franchise would most certainly help facilitate that. And based on what we know of the next mainline game (Sonic Frontiers) so far, it looks like the odds are in our favor that the storytelling quality will significantly improve in future Sonic games.

We can only hope...

[wolfish-trickster]

Young Oak Sapling

Part 2 to this (I seriously need to stop writing accidental multichapter fics...)

Loki x female!reader

Word count: 1,7K

Warnings: typos (as always), angst, fluff (it's there, I promise!)

Tag list: @gaitwae @lucywrites02 @hard-to-be-the-bard @birdgirl90 @laramoonworld @forevernthensome @kozkaboi

A/N: this is really messy, i'm sorry

'You have always been like a little sister I always wanted. I'm so sorry, we can still be friends'

For some unknown reason he kept having dreams about that one evening. 'Dreams,' he would scoff, 'more like nightmares.' They always end horribly. Either with you never talking to him again out of shame or him delivering those lines not so gently.

Loki couldn't understand why he kept dreaming about it. About her. How the light in her eyes slowly died when he told her. He told her the truth, right? It was the right thing to do, right?

*

She was hanging out with that soldier again. Loki's mouth twisted into disgusted grimace when he spot how he put his arm around her shoulders, how she held the single dandelion he gave her. A dandelion? Please, he couldn't really fall that low to give a lady some common weed, could he? A lady with such charm and class like Y/N deserves a dozen roses for every day she blessed this world with her smile and laugh.

Loki's eyes widened. Why was he thinking of her like that so suddenly? He never thought of her like that before. No. She's just a friend. Like his little sister. That's what he told her. She believed him. Now he has to believe it himself.

*

Sudden rain drove Loki away from his new favourite sitting spot in the corner of the garden. The oak stump. If only he kept a part of the tree. A twig or a leaf. He would've carried it around like a talisman. Or acorn, so he could grow another oak, even though it wouldn't be the same one.

His mind was on autopilot, he didn't even realize his legs carried him to your bedroom door. He stood there like a statue. Listening for any sounds. For any voices. He heard nothing. You must be somewhere else. That realization made him even more anxious. You could be with that soldier again. He can't have that.

He walked to only place he could always find you: library. As he wanted to open the heavy door you ran into him, colliding into his chest.

"Sorry-" your relax expression changed when you looked up into his eyes

"Hi," he smiled softly.

"Hello," you greeted, but without a smile. You tried to walk by him when he stopped you with his hand on your shoulder.

"Why are you running away from me?"

"I'm not. It's just.... this," you gestured between him and you, "it's awkward."

"Oh, so you avoid me, your oldest friend, and spend your entire day with Hofferson then," Loki crossed his arms on his chest.

"Aren't you supposed to be on a date or something?" you pushed yourself pass him, poison in your voice.

"Aren't you supposed to spend some time with me too?"

"I can't Loki. I'm trying to get rid of all of my feelings for you! I can't be near you if I want it to work!" you nearly screamed in his face.

Those words hurt Loki more than he thought. "Getting rid of ALL feelings? So you're trying to hate me then."

"No! Understand that I can't be friends with someone I love!"

"Platonic love exists too, you know," Loki remarked.

You rolled your eyes. "Whatever. I don't want to argue with you anymore, I'm going."

"Where?" he asked as you escaped him.

"To someone that cares about me, and not just platonicly!" you shouted behind your back and ran.

*

He hasn't had a word or a single alone time with you since then. You were always near that soldier, always talking to him, hugging him, hanging on his arm all the time.

Loki felt nausea whenever he saw Y/N with anyone but him. He wasn't used to seeing Y/N with other men, she was always near him. He missed her. Her laugh, her smile, her hugs. Everything.

No matter how many girls or boys he came across on streets, none of them could ever take your place. None of them smiled as brightly or as truly as you always did. Even when he was telling you about anyone he was interested in, you still smiled and wished him well with the person. You wanted him to be happy, even if it hurt you.

So why can't he do the same? Be happy you're with someone who will love you? Instead he grits his teeth whenever he sees the two of you together. Why does he want you all to himself? Why the thought of you being with someone else makes him throw up?

Loki sighed and held his head in his hands. It is true what they say. You'll realize you love somebody only after you lose them.

*

He felt like a coward. Standing in front of your bedroom door, with heart anxiously pounding in his chest.

Loki took a deep breath and knocked. No one answered. You must be out again. With him.

He shook the thought away and opened the door. If anything, he'll at least be able to give you a message without having to look into your eyes. While he was looking for a piece of paper and a pen around your room he noticed a new pot on your windowsill. It was brown and smaller than the rest with a single tiny green sprout sticking from the dirt.

Loki took the pot in his hand, it was small enough to fit into his palm. He smiled. It was so tiny and fragile. He wondered what kind of plant it was.

Before he could use one of the runes to find out a door creaked open behind him. "What are you doing here?" you asked. He was so startled by you catching him he couldn't even deduce if you were angry or surprised to see him.

"I-I wanted to talk to you," he turned towards you.

You looked at his hand. "Why are you holding it? Put it back, you might break it!" before he could even move you rushed to him, took the pot from his hand and held it close to your chest. Could one be jealous when a plant gets a cuddle but her oldest friend doesn't? Apparently Loki could.

"What do you want to talk about? If it's some noble lady I don't want to hear it," you turned your head away from him.

Loki shook his head. "No, it's not a lady."

"Some son of a sailor then?"

"No, I came here to tell you something."

You turned your head back to him. "And what is that?"

Loki took a deep breath. It's now or never. "I came to a realization. And not just a common one. I didn't think my life could be so lonely without you in it. Every single day I've missed you, longed to spend time with you again. Laugh with you. It pained me to see that Hofferson boy with you. Ever since I saw the two of you in the stables I wanted to rip you away from him. Just like I every boy you got close to in our childhood. For a long time I couldn't understand why I wanted you all to myself and no other man. But now I do. It's because I love you. Romantically. Just like you love me," he didn't look away from you. He didn't dare.

You shook your head in disapointment. "You're so selfish, Loki."

He didn't expect that answer. It was far away from anything he was expecting. All blood left his face. "Well, that's what love makes out of person. It makes them selfish, possesive."

"So how come I could let you go after your monthly interests without complaining like you did?"

Loki froze. "Y-you're apparently a better person than me," he picked on his palm.

You hummed. "So...what now?"

Loki took your lack of emotions as a rejection. He concluded he traded places with you. Now you were the one without romantic feelings and he was the one being rejected.

He couldn't keep looking at the love of his life rejecting him. He studied the pot in her hamds instead. "Now? I guess I will have to find a spell to erase all romantic feelings I have for you and wish you all the best with Hoffer-I mean Arne," he thanked all heavens above for his training that didn't let him fall apart in front of you.

You looked at him, fear in your eyes." Why would you do that?"

Loki laughed. It was a bitter one, filled with sadness. "Because you don't love me anymore."

"That's not true," you whispered.

Loki's head snapped up. "What?"

"I-I said that's not true. I never stopped, no matter how much I tried. I even saved a little part of our tree," you said softly and caressed the little sprout.

"That's from the old oak?"

You nodded. "For some reason I couldn't just cut it down and erase its whole existence."

Now Loki knows what it means when a stone falls from someone's heart. "So, that means you still love me?" he asked hopefully.

You nodded. "And you love me too?"

"Of course my love. Can we please start over again?"

"I would love to," you blessed him with your kindest, purest smile.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked a little too excited.

"No," his heart fell to the floor, "you have to kiss me."

Loki sighed from relief. He walked over to you and cupped your cheeks. From up close your eyes were even more beautiful than he noticed the first time he kissed you. He reminded himself to tell you everyday from now on.

And just like that, the history repeated itself. Loki gently placed his lips on yours in a loving kiss. Your head spinned once again just like so many years ago. And one oak tree witnessed it all.

[butteraway]

when time runs out | iv

⋆ summary:  A young girl has fallen deeply ill with an unknown disease in her, so with all her free time spent in an empty hospital room, she spends it online playing video games. That's until she meets her cousins friends, one spiking her interest with his extremely vulgare language.

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

word count: 2.5k

warnings: none

authors note: I wanna say im so sorry for lying to yall about that extra chapter KJDFFF😭😭 ALSO @chibiiichann I APOLOGIZE FOR SPAMMING YOU WHENEVER I REPLIED TO YOU💀 A DIFFERENT ACC WOULD POP UP BUT THE FIRST CHAPTER WAS AN INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER EXPLAINING THE OC'S CONDITION JFJDJD

"HAHA! I GOTCHU NOW LOSER!" Y/N smashed the buttons on her controller, basically on the edge of her bed. A grunt was heard through her headphones, then a loud bang with laughing in the background. Y/N felt her stomach turn at the sound of this, feeling a little left out, but smiled nonetheless.

"HOW'D YOU EVEN DO THAT?!! YOU’RE DOING SOME HACKING MY GUY!" Denki yelled through the laughing in the background, hands pulling at his hair. He seriously couldn't believe it!

"I'm not! I just wanted to show Sero I'm way better at this game than you are. And turns out I am!" Y/N let out a loud laugh, falling backwards onto her pillow. After finding out that 'Tape Dispenser' went to her cousin’s school by hearing his voice in the back of Denki's room, she got to learn more about this Sero dude. She already knew this after their last game a few nights ago, but he was so chill. It was still insane for her to find out that her cousin and online friend went to the same hero school. The coincidences in this world. Y/N thought as she grinned.

"It's okay Kaminari, you still lasted a long time! But you did get brutally beat by Y/N at the end though..." Sero said, trying to raise Denki's low spirits, but only succeeded in making him more miserable. Rustling was heard through Y/N's headphones, making it obvious that there was movement happening.

"You don't understand Sero! THIS IS THE ONLY GAME I COULD FULLY BEAT THIS GIRL IN!" Denki shook Sero by the shoulders, quickly doing the action. Cackling was heard through the speakers while the girl wiped a tear from her eye. Sero laughed along, as he was pushed to the ground by Denki. His arms were crossed as he looked away, upset that Y/N managed to finally beat him in every game they played.

"It's okay Denki, not everyone can be as good as me!" Y/N exclaimed, getting up from her bed to start taping specific parts of her room. Kaminari continued to complain about his defeat to Sero, who only chuckled in response. As she finished taping the bottom of the walls, Y/N sat back on her bed, sighing in content.

"So, how are you? I'm doing terribly after being utterly destroyed by you, by the way." Said Kaminari, opening his water bottle and taking large gulps from it. Y/N felt her face light up as she remembered to tell Kaminari of her future activity.

"Bro, you won't believe this! So, basically, they're actually letting me paint my room! All by myself! How fricking cool is that?!" The girl laughed out loud, jumping on her bed in excitement. Kaminari's eyes widen, in surprise and slight fear, sitting up and taking in the new information.

"Wait, really? But isn't that like extremely dangerous? Cuz of the chemicals and what not??" He tried his best to keep his voice leveled, not noticing Sero look at him weirdly. That guy had no idea what was happening.

"Well, they said that they were gonna do something to the paint so it won't hurt me or anything, I don't know what, but-" Y/N was cut off by an extremely confused Sero. "Wait wait wait, hold on. I don't understand what's happening. How can paint harm you? Besides like...eating it. And what do you mean by 'finally getting to paint your room?’ Silence was the only answer he got. Sero gulped in embarrassment, thinking he asked a really personal question.

"Um, it's nothing du-" A loud 'shhhhhhh' was heard from Y/N, who let out a shaky breath. She never really told anyone, it's not like she could either way, being confined in the hospital room for a long time. She pushed a loose strand of her away from her face, preparing herself to tell Sero.

"Well, the reason is because I basically live in a hospital. I can't go outside, or have 'unpurified' air, as the doctors like to say, meaning my interactions with people and the outside world are extremely limited. That means anything that's not cleared of dust and germs, I guess, can be extremely harmful for me? As pathetic as it sounds, it could actually kill me, haha." It was quiet as Sero took in the information, a large wave of emotions crashing on him. A person shouldn't have to be locked in a room for the rest of their life. Especially someone who is such a sweet person like Y/N.

"I-I'm so sorry to hear that Y/N. If you don't mind me asking, how...how long have you been in the hospital?" The young girl answered with a quick 'Two years', and that's when Sero felt his stomach twist uncomfortably. Kaminari abruptly got up and headed towards his door.

"I'm gonna get something to eat, you want something dude?" Kaminari's voice was low and trembling. It didn't take a genius to see that the blonde haired boy needed some time alone. "No thanks." Kaminari let out a hum, quickly exiting his room and closing the door shut. Sero heard the loud sniffs that slowly faded away, as he hung his head down.

"Hey, you good Sero? That was probably a lot to take in, sorry." Sero shook his head, letting a sad smile adorn his face. "It's fine, really. I actually feel honored that you're comfortable telling me. Feels like we're getting closer, to be honest." He smiled happily, meaning every word he said. And Y/N knew that. "Ha, we are though!" The air was tense, despite the two teenagers being in different rooms.

Y/N went to clear her throat, but was interrupted when a light knock echoed throughout her room. "Someone there?" Sero asked, noticing her silence and hearing the very faint knocking.

"Yeah, um Sero, I'll call you guys later, my doctor wants to talk." Y/N quickly replied, seeing Receen open the door and walk in with his thin suit on. Sero let out an ok and they hang up. Y/N finally took in how the doctor looked, noticeable eye bags under his blue-grey eyes, from lack of sleep. His dark hair slightly tousled, probably from putting on the protective helmet that came with the suit, and a small smile on his welcoming face. And a large container of paint in his left hand. Her eyes immediately lit up.

"What’s up doc? I see you have something in your hand, can I see it closer?" The small girl asked, getting up and making a grabbing motion with her hands. Receen chuckled, lifting up the paint for Y/N to see. Even if he were to hand her the container, she wouldn't be able to hold. She was just too weak. Said girl let out a high pitch 'OOOO ' in excitement.

"I'm not sure if you wanted more, but we managed to get you your favorite color! This should be enough to paint the room, you can even put a second layer if you want." Receen walked over to where Y/N put all the equipment, opening the container of paint. And with a low grunt from him, the lid was opened. Y/N watched with amazement as the doctor poured the soft looking paint into a tray. She picked up a roller near her, and drowned the roller in paint, the white fluff getting covered in color.

The two began painting, Y/N's hand shaking every now and then. After painting half the room, they sat in silence, resting for a while. Receen seemed to be tense, though Y/N didn't seem to notice since she was too happy to speak. Receen let out a breath, breaking the silence, causing Y/N to look towards him.

"I didn't get to ask you how you were, did I Y/N? How are you?" Said girl let a beaming smile spread on her face, causing Receen to slightly squint his eyes from the intensity of her smile. "Honestly, I haven't felt this happy in a very long time! I actually still can't believe you guys really let me do this! Thank you so much!"

Receen gave her a small smile while rubbing the back of his neck. "It's not a problem, you could’ve asked sooner and gotten this done a long time ago. You've been here for two years, so please don't be afraid of asking for things!" At the mention of her time spent in the hospital, Y/N lowered her head, causing Receen to wince. Well, might as well tell her. The doctor cleared his throat and began to talk.

"Y/N, as you are aware, I, along with many other doctors and scientists, have been working hard for you to be able to go outside again. To see your family, hug them, be a normal kid again." There was a pause and that alone caught Y/N's attention. She looked up at him. "There is a way for you to finally do that, Y/N."

Shock evident on the girl's face, she abruptly stood up and faced the doctor. There was absolutely no way anyone could have found a cure for someone like her. Someone who had an incurable sickness. Someone who was too sick, to even have medicine. He's lying. Y/N narrowed her eyes at the grown man sitting in front of her.

"With all due respect Doctor, I highly doubt that ​​that's possible. Cuz, y'know? I basically have an incurable disease? I mean, like, even if you did manage to find a way for me to leave this place, how do you even know it's gonna work? I don't think you've tried this medicine since no one in recorded hospital documents in the past have had people like that checked in before-"

"How do you even know that?"

"-so how do you truly know it'll work?" Y/N quickly finished, completely ignoring his statement. Receen sighed, scratching his head. "We live in a world where quirks exist. Would you believe me if I told you centuries ago that the human race would evolve to have super powers? It's kind of like that, but not really." Y/N eyed him suspiciously. He's avoiding the question.

Receen looked straight at the girl standing in front of him. He felt slightly intimidated by her piercing gaze. He quickly looked away and got up, towering over Y/N's small frame. Then he smiled. "Y/N, you are a very sweet girl, no doubt about it. I know how much you want to get out of here, and I want to help you. My team has created this almost perfect pill, especially suited for your sickness. I know you're very cautious, just like your mother, but I can only reassure you, that these are your ticket out of here." He pulled out the bottle from his protective suit, shaking it in front of [Y/N].

Her eyes widened as she restrained herself from reaching out and snatching the bottle. Her eyes slightly narrowed as she pulled herself together. Crossing her arms and slightly tilting her upwards, she looked into the doctor's bright eyes. "There's always a catch when it comes to these kinds of things. What's the price if I take these? My lifespan shortens, I only have five hours to go outside, it drugs me or something?"

"I'm hurt you think I would just give you these without setting out the consequences." There was a slight glint in his eyes before it quickly disappeared. Y/N hummed, urging the doctor to continue.

"There are exactly 15 pills in here. And consuming just one of these bad boys right here, would allow you to go outside! Though, time is very important when taking these. You'd have 10 hours before the pills effects wear off. These would dull your hypersensitive senses, but not to a point where you can't feel, smell or do anything. No no, it'd just be like how you were before. You'd feel slightly dizzy and be a little itchy, but besides that, nothing too extreme. It just dulls all your body senses down." Receen gave Y/N a small smile. She looked a little weary, unsure if what he said was true. She looked at the bottle then back to Doctor Receen, fingers twitching every now and then. Breathing in and letting it out slowly, Y/N stared straight into the doctor's eyes.

If I take these, I can finally go out. I can hug mom and dad, I can be around Denki again. I can meet Sero face to face and feel the grass again! I can be... happy again. But if these don't actually work, I'd immediately die on the spot. I'd be able to go outside though. Aah, so much going outside, I can meet new people! I don't wanna spend the rest of my days slowly rotting away in here anyway.

"So Y/N, are you going to take them or let all our time go to waste?"

Sero looked at his hands solemnly, thinking about what Y/N had told him. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, then lightly slapped his cheeks to stop the wave of emotions from spilling out.

"Yo, you good dude? It's not everyday I see someone willingly slapping themselves." Kaminari chuckled, walking in and closing the door with his foot as he carried a soda bottle and a bag of chips towards the boy sitting on his bed. Sero grinned, feeling the sadness of everything wash away.

"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine. But what about you though? After we had that conversation, you were, well, umm... kind of out of it." Kaminari froze, letting a dejected smile appear on his face. Dragging a hand down his face, he let out a sorrowful laugh.

"She's my best friend. My first real, true friend. She's basically my sister at this point. So when she collapsed that day, I felt my whole world crashing down. She is the sweetest, the most kindest, person I have ever met. She never let me degrade myself, alway cheered me up when people called me stupid." Kaminari rubbed his eyes, opening the bag of chips and plopping one of them into his mouth.

"It hasn't been the same ever since she left, her parents barely come over anymore, and they're always so sad whenever I see them. My own parents aren't the same either, they treated her like their own daughter. I can't even begin to imagine how Y/N feels about this all. She was the top in our grade, highest scores in our test. No one could compare to her. M-my heart breaks for her. She lost everything." Sero let that information sink in, thinking about how she was before. He smiled as he saw Kaminari's shoulders begin to shake. He cares so much for her.

He put his hand on his shoulder, watching Kaminari slowly lift his face towards him. "Come here you emotional ball of feelings." Being the friendly guy he is, Sero gave the sobbing boy a hug, cuz hugs fix everything.

"No homo though bro." And with that, they both laughed out loud, continuing their bro day.

[mevekagvain]

Chapter 93 - Fancy chair, love it.

- So my theory is that Raizel just never learnt how to write in Lukedonian either.

- Tbh the janitor is suspicious. Like how hard was he googling M-21?

Chapter 94 - SUYIIIIIIIIIIII

- Ah geez the first of the racistly depicted characters.

Chapter 96 - Suyi getting mad at the kids for complaining about Hansu is so funny like when she first appears you think she's perhaps a stuck up celebrity or a pushover but it turns out she's just a really sweet friend.

- Suyi being stunned by Rai's looks but not falling for him (same with Yuna) is one of the things I always liked about Noblesse. Like sure in the first meeting they get blushy but I'll just jot that down to the inherent beauty of nobles since I can't relate to it at all.

Chapter 97 - Frankenstein's house always being stocked with so much food because the kids just started coming over daily is hilarious. Even funnier since Frankenstein obviously thinks it's overkill but is the one stocking up anyway.

Chapter 98 - Regis and Seira 🥺 Seira's og outfit was the best one she had like it only goes downhill from here folks.

Chapter 99 - It would have been so funny if Frankenstein went "they must be cosplayers" instead of realising the two were nobles.

- Regis taking all the initiative shows how it's his roadtrip coming of age journey which is pretty clever. Also Seira's just like that but still.

- Shinwoo stop exercising in class bro. Do not flex on the rest of us this is so rude 😭😭😭

- Regis confidently saying he's a noble in class to humans he doesn't plan on mind controlling... Baby boy why are you so dumb? How is this hiding your identity??? And Seira just lets him,,, good for her.

Chapter 100 - Ah yes their elegance boner at seeing Raizel... nobles are so fucking weird.

- M-21 thinking he won't get any information because of his time at the Union and thus being surprised at how open Frankenstein is is actually really sweet. Like yeah I still think Frankenstein is an unethical and questionable person but he is kind to most humans (werewolves and nobles can go fuck themselves I guess lmao).

Chapter 101 - The second hand embarrassment I felt when M-21 called the two noblesse... how do I even consume content?

- Yeah 100% most union members don't know the difference between nobles and vampires. I bet they'd classify jiangshi as either mutants or werewolves. Or to be more specific, that would be the classification given to low leveled members. On one hand I think it's dumb that the Union gives members twisted information because how would they even use it? But on the other hand it makes sense since it prevents said members from seeking nobles for help. After all, if they believe even the 'noblesse' are vampires that drink blood, than obviously they won't see them as possible escape routes.

- 'Noblesse only applies to one person'. Yeah because Rai's brother is fucking dead. And so is whoever was his predecessor/parent.

Chapter 102 - Those bullies got backup so fucking fast like Shinwoo literally just asked Regis and Seira if they were okay then boom! They're back.

Chapter 103- Regis going ??? essentially when Shinwoo tells him to take care of Seira is so funny like yes ofc he's confused she's literally a clan leader + noble females aren't physically weaker + noble women work out just like the men.

- Rude, Regis. You can't just ask someone why they're mingling among humans. You're doing that too. Who doesn't mingle among humans smh. Even cats and pigeons mingle with us.

Chapter 105 - Love how everyone else in the household is so sick of ramyeon like Raizel stop please you're being selfish.

Chapter 106 - Frankenstein is the definition of the 'right in front of my salad?' meme at Regis and M-21 arguing at the dinner table. Then there's Seira and Raizel just waiting for the noodles to get soggy so he can't even eat. Wish Urokai could see him getting tortured like this.

- The soldier rejecting backup because he knows the enemy is the Union hurts my heart. Wanting to prevent casualties... iwi

Chapter 107 - Shark how tf do you not know about South Korea? That's one of the asian countries people actually know about. I guess maybe it's because this is from around a decade back? K-pop is more recent and made the country more visible I guess.

- Ah yes Takeo. Forever known as "the first time I read Noblesse and he appeared I thought he was Marie's sister since they had the same hairstyle". Like I thought that before even learning about the Aris Taivra fiasco. My power 😔

- Oh don't worry M-21, Frankenstein stopped experimenting on people 830 years ago. You know, as one does.

Chapter 108 - Shark has like no general knowledge. Geography? History? Tf is that I guess.

- Tao saying they're the worst possible people for the job is so funny like yeah he's right. "All we do is massacre people in warzones why are we in Seoul?"

- The rest of the squad complain or are confused about the peace meanwhile Takeo is vibing. He's the normal guy TM of the group.

- Ah yes noble lore. If you take canon at face value than the fact that nobles were around when humans first emerged and there being about 2-3 clan leaders before the current generation means you can estimate their lifespan. Ofc it differs wildly depending on how you interpret the 'first humans' part. I'll assume there were 3 generations before the current generation (mvp lord being the third generation) and won't be adding the current generation since a 0.5-2k years is kinda meaningless. I'll also be assuming that mvp lord entered eternal sleep at around the same age as his predecessors and that he would have died soon from old age anyway (since canonically they do have limited lifespans). If we assume it's just the first human ancestors (7 million years ago) than the average pureblood lifespan is 2.33 million years. If we assume it's when homo sapiens started to emerge (300k years ago) than it's 100k years. If it's about modern humans (130k years ago) than it's 43.3k years. Regardless I'll ignore it since my hcs are that nobles are effectively immortal unless killed and that the 2-3 clan leaders is a misconception due to a mix of Gechutel just straight up lying, because there are clans that have had fewer clan leaders, because I have nobles settling on Lukedonia only 30k years ago, and because Gechutel is factoring in his own age of 10.2k so it's more like 'There have been 2-3 Ru clan leaders before the Ru clan leader 10k years ago since after we settled in Lukedonia'. There's also the possibility that nobles didn't have lords or clan leaders until a few thousand years ago in canon but the species has existed for much longer.

- 'Nobles are individualistic... They don't despise humans but don't love them either.' Humans w/ ants. Now if the ants were capable of speaking with us it'd be exactly the same situation.

Chapter 109 - "What were they researching here?" Since when does the Union research anything aside from human modifications Kranz? Why do you even need to ask? More seriously this means that the Union doesn't actually only do human experimentation and weapons lmao. The other shit just isn't relevant I guess. It's a shame, I'd have loved to see how a lab focused on like, fixing up polluted waters, would be fit into the story.

- The fact that Tao beat Jake up is never mentioned enough. Also confirms that Jake was lying out of his ass about being the strongest.

- Marie being the weakest assassination squad member is interesting like I know why Crombel doesn't need bodyguards as the reader but you'd think the Union would be suspicious of him not having a stronger bodyguard. Also I still can't believe the Union doesn't bother learning who the members are aside from the ones Crombel tells them about like. Bro???

- Shark calling Takeo uptight is hilarious because the guy literally just shot the falling ceiling light which is the opposite of uptight. Either he was preventing them from getting hurt/being caught or he wanted that to happen considering the fact that he shot it and it shattered. And then he just goes back to leaning against the wall. Takeo please 🤣

Chapter 110 - And Shinwoo's still staying over at Ikhans place. Wonder when he's gonna move back. I really love their dynamic like yeah I beg my sister to get me food all the time too. Also love the apron and skeleton hoodie.

- Shinwoo went through the five stages of grief pretty quick huh? Like yeah it's his own misunderstanding that Ikhan is dating someone but still. Homophobia is annoying as always though.

Chapter 111 - Suyi paying for their food is so sweet of her and also I relate so much like yeah mood that's me and no I don't want to be paid back.

- Takeo,,, the fact that he just hands his wallet over because he doesn't like violence and doesn't want to beat them up,,, my heart. Otoh... how did he even get cornered in an dark shady alleyway lmao.

- Aris managing to make herself look like a teenager as Taivra is interesting since Takeo says he wants her to be able to go to school like Yuna and Shinwoo when he's treating them. I guess she looks younger without makeup.

- Takeo just straight up pointing his gun at Shark in public because he mentioned Taivra... anger issues much? I understand why but taking your gun out is an overreaction.

[criminalminds4days]

Family Matters | Chapter 3: Trivia

Hello People!

I hope you have had an amazing week and are going to have an ever better weekend. I am so done with this week. It was really crappy and I just can't wait for the beginning of next, hoping it will be better. The only positive side is that I was able to get over my writer's block and have finished about 3 new chapters.

Anyway, enjoy this chapter of Family Matters and let me know what you think!

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!

Word Count: 3.6k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog

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(This gif is not mine)

Chapter 3: Trivia

She closed the blinds and made sure for the fifth time the door was locked. Her breath caught in her throat and the fear and adrenaline that had rushed through her body made even Spencer Reid nervous.

"What's going on?"

"This is bad, I didn't realize the consequences of this until it was too late. I am so sorry I got you all tangled up in this mess."

"What are you talking about? What happened?"

"I-" She turned and took a peek through the blinds, ensuring there was no one around. "I did not think things through. I think it's best if you go home, that way you might be spared."

"You are seriously starting to make me nervous, please tell me what's going on, how can I help?"

"There is nothing you can do; I am basically a dead woman."

"Why? Who's after you?"

"Anna Hemingway."

"Your cousin is after you? Did she threaten you or something?"

"No, she didn't have to." She walked towards the bed and sat on the edge, still glancing every now and then, making sure the coast was clear.

After her and Spencer's victory, they had both decided to go to bed, and while the rest of her family insisted on having another dinner dedicated to the couple, they had both decided best to eat and head back to their cabin. He had finished first and decided to head back, and as soon as he was gone, the memory hit her making her mistake obvious. And the main reason she had resorted to a passive competition with the world's worst cousin was clear once again. In a hurry she had returned to their cabin, ensuring she was not being followed, and locked the door, startling the doctor.

"The last time I beat Anna at something was when I twelve. We were both auditioning for the same role in our school musical. They gave me the part." He smiled, truly excited for her accomplishment, as well as happy to learn this new fact about her. "Don't get too peppy. On opening night, at Grandma's celebration for the play, I fell down the stairs."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Because, Dr. Spencer Reid, as hard as it is to believe, me falling down the stairs was not due to my immense clumsiness."

"Wait, your cousin pushed you down the stairs?!" He exclaimed, truly horrified. How are children so cute and so evil at the same time?

"More like, she set her foot for me to trip on, but you get the idea." She glanced back at the door and then at the man in front of her. "I was lucky, I didn't break anything, but I have a feeling that might not be the case the next time. I also would prefer not to drown or anything like that."

"But we're federal agents, doing something to you or me would be unwise."

"You're speaking of the girl that tripped me down the stairs and thought that stealing my boyfriend and marrying him was wise."

"I'm gonna double-check the door is locked."

After hours of attempting to stay vigilant, her body had given in and she had fallen asleep. Although Spencer knew the danger, to him it was as simple as closing his eyes. She knew they were trained to deal with a lot of sick people, but he didn't understand the limits his cousin would go to destroy those who she felt wronged by. Although her main target had always been her, she once had basically ended a girl's life by getting her banned from pretty much any respectable college or job position because this one had made fun of her prom dress. Anna Hemingway was one to be cautious with, and they had both just embarrassed her in front of the people whose attention she had snatched years ago. It was worse than she realized.

"Spencer, Spencer." She spoke as she slightly moved him. He growled and moved away from her, attempting to continue his slumber. "Spencer."

"No, let me sleep." He complained.

"Spence, get up, please." After minutes of silence, she devised a new plan. "Spencer!" she screamed, making him jump, falling off the bed and landing between the edge of this first one and the door of the closet. "Oh good, you're awake."

He didn't say a word, for what seemed like centuries, and she wondered if screaming him awake was not the best decision, especially as her next request would not be something he would be inclined to.

"Sorry for that, I just needed you to wake up."

"Is there a fire I don't know about?"

"No, I just thought we could go for a run." There it was, the look Spencer had only given the unsubs he despised the most. She had earned it, but that didn't mean she liked it. "Sorry, I just, Nicole had to leave, and since I have a target on my back and there's safety in numbers... I also didn't want to leave you here alone, and vulnerable. I just felt like, despite your muscles, I am concerned you haven't yet mastered the use of your body."

"I will have you know that by all accounts I definitely know how to use my body. Quite effectively if I do say so myself, and others."

After his words, her mind went to a thought she never imagined having. She wondered if he meant it that way or she was just losing it. "Good, then you can come with me." That sentence following her thoughts was probably not ideal.

"No thank you, you can do it by yourself." She needed to change the direction her thoughts were going; they were definitely not helpful.

"Spencer, please. I am honestly a little terrified, and you should be too."

"Well, I'm not. She isn't worse than any unidentified subject we've dealt with before."

"Oh but she is. She's the worst type of unsub you could think of, but ten times worse."

"What's the worse she could do?"

"Let's not find out."

After whining from him and pleads by her, they both made their way out of the cabin. The shorts he had avoided yesterday were now covering almost nothing as they jogged. This was not a good reminder of their earlier conversation, so she simply focused on something easier: her cousin's imminent revenge. She thought it would come in the form of her accidentally pushing her into the lake, or a repeat of her falling down the stairs. She was even worried this time Spencer would be the victim since he had been the one to embarrass her. Her thoughts were interrupted by deep breaths and a yelp.

"Are you okay?"

"We've been running for hours, how dare you ask me such a question?"

She looked at her watch, "We've been running for exactly three and a half minutes. Actually, we haven't been running, more like jogging."

"How long do you usually do this for?"

"Depends on the day, but from thirty minutes to two hours."

"You need help."

"It won't be as bad, come on."

"You can go on, I am just gonna sit here and have a heart attack real quick."

"How on earth did you pass your physical?"

"I got it waved."

"Cheater."

"If it isn't it the 'it' couple of the weekend!" Suddenly the one having a heart attack was not Spencer, but her. "I didn't know you guys ran together, that's so cute!"

"Yeah, truly the reason I love her," Spencer said, a pinch of sarcasm in his voice.

"How adorable." It's coming, she could feel it. "Anyway, I was thinking, since love seems to be in the air this weekend, why don't we celebrate it by wrapping up the family retreat with a trivia night!"

"What does trivia have to do with love?" She regretted the words as soon as they came out, as Anna looked at her like she might as well be six feet under.

"Silly, the trivia would be about your significant other, of course!"

"Well, that's just-"

"Wonderful, I know!" The blonde smiled, delighted by her idea. "The family has already been briefed and they are all on board, I have started taking in questions and designed the cards, so we'll all meet around the campfire for dinner, and then we'll have trivia night!" She smiled brightly and began to leave, stopping by to appreciate Spencer's figure and palming his behind as she left.

"Did she just-?"

"Yes, yes she did."

"I need a shower."

After both had showered and changed they made their way to grandmas house, alert as to anyone following them. Most of her family had moved on from spying on them, but she knew Anna and Uncle Ernie were not that normal.

"So, what did your grandma do?"

"No one really knows, I mean it had to be good to make her so rich, but by the time my uncle Ernie was born, the eldest, she was already rich enough to sell whatever business she had and become a full-time parent."

"What about your grandpa?"

"He died before I was born."

"Oh."

They sat at the same table he had been at the day before; the chessboard was still in place. She began messing with the pieces, creating the game that always made her win, courtesy of her grandma.

"I didn't know you played."

"I too began at a very young age. I haven't really played since grandma died; she was my game partner. The only one that treated me like I was a human being." She sat down, remembering the hours she spent here when Nicole wasn't around, and everyone pretty much ignored her. "She was the only one that ever consoled me for losing my dad. Losing her was just one more box to check."

"I am sorry for your loss." He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently, hoping to convey his sympathy.

"Yeah well, by how calm Anna looks right now I guess it won't be long before I join her, so we don't have to worry about that anymore."

He rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. "So, what should we expect during this trivia night?"

"To lose, that's our safest bet."

"I don't really do losing."

"And all I do is lose, so I will be your guide this time."

The family had made their way inside, their excitement overflowing the room. She couldn't help but wish she could simply run for the hills. She knew the chances of them winning were null, because a) she needed to lose and b) Spencer and her hadn't known each other, really known each other long enough to be able to answer these questions. She wondered if that was the plan all along, that Anna somehow had found out about their lie and was using this as a means to expose it.

"Okay everybody, let's get started." Said, uncle Ernie. He wore the same clothes as their first day here. "Let us start with the competition. Since we have the newlyweds as well as the new couple in the family, I think they should make the honors."

She looked at Spencer and he smiled at her, she leaned closed and whispered. "Remember, to ease the monster, we need to lose, which shouldn't be hard, we're not even a real couple, there is no way we know enough about each other, right?"

He nodded and they both moved to the sofa that was designated as their spot, her uncle who now apparently served as the show host, handed Spencer and Tyler a buzzer, explaining whichever sounded first would get to answer the question. She mentally prepared herself, hoping she could answer enough questions to not raise suspicion but not enough to win the game, what a grand world that would be.

"Ready everybody?" everyone cheered in approval and she prepared herself. "This round is for the guys, once we finish you will pass the buzzer to your partner and at the end, we will have one round where either of you can answer. Now, the first question, what is your partner's Starbucks order?"

Spencer's buzzer went off as Tyler attempted to recall the memory. "It depends on the season. During winter and for as long as she can get it, it will be a Grande Peppermint Hot Chocolate, during the summer it will be no-coffee Double chocolate chip cookie crumble Grande Frappuccino with extra whipped cream, and no straw." She looked at him completely taken aback by his answer, how specific it was, and the fact that he knew she was a seasonal drinks person.

"Yeah, that's it." She spoke.

"Point for team FBI!" Her uncle cheered. "Next question, what is your partner's favorite color?"

His buzzer went off and the doctor spoke again, "Blue."

Ten questions later the scoreboard was 8-2, Spencer's lead, and the two questions he hadn't answered were because he decided that would be enough to lose. She didn't understand how he knew these things, or the fact that she knew what her answer for him would be, but what she did know, was that she had to be really bad in order to allow Anna to take the lead back, what she wasn't sure about anymore, was whether she wanted to let her cousin win.

"Ladies, you're up." Spencer handed her the buzzer and she smiled at him. "First question, how does your partner drink his coffee."

"That's easy. He doesn't drink coffee." She said soon after her buzzer went off. "He drinks sugar with a side of coffee, no creamer. Eighty percent sugar, twenty percent coffee."

"That is so mean to say! But it's true." Spencer agreed.

"How are you a doctor and drink so much sugar?"

"Not that kind of doctor." He clarified to the man.

"I have no idea what that means! Next question, what is the thing your partner is most proud of?"

"His job. Spencer loves helping people and using his knowledge to reunite families, he's the bravest guy I know." She smiled at him and he returned the gesture.

It was no surprise Anna was not content with the results, as the end was a 23-4 in favor of Spencer and her. As soon as the game was finished she knew that she had basically carved her own grave.

"That is not fair, they are not even really dating!" Her cousin screamed, "it's all a lie!"

"What?"

"Yeah, I know your little secret, I overheard you and Nicole talking about how Spencer was not really your boyfriend and how he didn't actually have dyslexia!"

"I-" She didn't know what to say, how had she not seen her? How could she let this happen?

"First of all, I think it is very inconsiderate of you to suggest that my dyslexia is not real. I have fought so hard for such a long time to ensure my condition didn't prevent me from succeeding, going as far as getting a Ph.D. in mathematics, for someone to simply come and question my hard work." Spencer said, seemingly very upset. "Second of all, this woman right here is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I will not sit here and tolerate you calling her a liar. We are in love with each other, and you as her cousin should be happy about it. Yet you seem so upset about her finding someone, it seems to me you're jealous, but what do I know, it's not like I can understand human behavior or anything. Oh, wait." He said, he took her hand and pulled her as close to him as she could. "Just leave my girlfriend alone, you took her sloppy second and married him, so what more can you want from her?"

The room fell silent, everyone eyed Spencer and Anna, trying to grasp what had just happened. "You and I both know you're lying, you two are not a real couple, you are just trying to ruin this weekend for me."

"Really, not a real couple? Then how did we end up destroying you at trivia? You made the questions Anna, I had no idea what was on them, you did. And I am not the one wearing a wedding ring. So my question is, how do you marry someone without knowing their proudest moment, or their Starbucks order?"

"Well, how come no one has ever seen you two kiss? You can learn facts about each other but that doesn't really make you a couple."

"You want to see a kiss? Fine." She turned and pulled Spencer's lips to hers. She let herself enjoy the moment, really enjoy Spencer's kissing skills, not because she wanted to or anything, but rather because that is how she should kiss him, there was no way anyone would have any doubt about them if the kiss looked authentic. Which it did, it also might have felt a little more authentic than it should but now was no the time to dwell on that.

Spencer kissed her back, creating an atmosphere in which her cousin's word didn't matter any longer, in which the humiliation her family had put her through was nothing worth thinking of, and the fact that both of them had such deep knowledge about each other only fueled it, melting her a little in her spot, she felt his teeth on her lower lip applying slight pressure and she couldn't help but wish they were by themselves right then and there.

"We get it! You guys want to take your clothes off, now please stop." Tyler's voice echoed, and the two doctors left each other's lips reluctantly, looking at him. "Now, can we please move on?"

"No! Not until they admit they are not really dating, and all this was a plot to humiliate me!" Anna screamed.

"You know what? I am not going to stand here and tolerate this behavior any longer. Bitchy Anna, you can whine all you want, but that will not change that I am with a man I love, and that loves me. I have let this family make me feel like less for long enough and I am done doing so. You can all go fuck yourselves because I am done with each and every single one of you. You allowed this crazy brat to humiliate me and treat me like I was less for long enough. Let's go home, Spencer." She grabbed him by the hand and exited the house, giving her family the middle finger before she banged the door. She walked to their cabin and gathered her stuff, him following suit. As soon as they were in the car and far enough away, she pulled over and sighed, coming down from her adrenaline rush.

"In the wise words of Penelope Garcia, that was hot," Spencer said.

"What was?"

"Everything." They laughed for a couple of minutes, the scene she had just created replaying in her mind. "I am so proud of you."

"Why? Because I gave my uncle Ernie the middle finger?"

"Because you stood up for yourself."

"Yeah, well even if she was right, I tend to get a little too angry when people call me a liar or get in my way."

"Yeah, I know." He chuckled, "How did it go, oh yes, 'Nu-uh bruh, I know you didn't just interrupt me mid-sentence.' And then you commented how a man who wore sweaters in the middle of July was not going to cut you off."

"I am so sorry about that; I was just so used to being cut off I didn't want it to be a thing at work."

"It's okay, I understand. I began cutting people off because that's what most people did to me when I spoke."

"Well, that's dumb. I love hearing your facts, you have all this knowledge, and you chose to share it, people should be grateful for it."

"Thank you, I appreciate that." He smiled, "Speaking of facts, our chances of getting murdered will increase by the minute if we continue to sit on the side of the road."

"Right, forgot about that!" She turned the car back on. "Let's go home, Spencer." As his apartment complex became clear, she slowed down, making a stop right in front of it. "Thank you for coming with me this weekend, I really appreciate it."

"No problem, that's what friends are for." Before he moved to get out of the car, she planted a quick kiss on his cheek. "What was that for?"

"For being the best fake boyfriend and real friend a girl could ask for." She smiled at him, so grateful for his existence. "I will see you tomorrow morning at 5:45 am sharp. Goodnight Spencer."

"Goodnight. See you tomorrow." He opened the door and walked out, waving to her before he entered his building. She sat there for a couple of minutes, taking in the past weekend. She knew her mother wouldn't let her get away with her actions, but right now that didn't matter, Spencer Reid had told her he was proud of her, he had even used the term hot which in itself was hot because she never even imagined he used that type of vocabulary.

Regardless, she stood up for herself, she let Anna have it, and Spencer was proud of her. It seemed like a win-win. She drove home, a smile on her face.