#listen i know im the thread that keeps these people together i know they dont make efforts unless i make the first move

[vercna]

have to be up in the Capital next week after months of hermitting by the seaside, it wasn't planned and I had every intention of celebrating a quiet halloween by myself which wouldn't have been HALF as lonely as texting the few friends i have in paris too make plans for unrelated drinks and all of them saying they can't on the 31st because of plans, yet not extending a "what are your plans?" or even a half assed invitation

[81folklore]

this is me trying - CL16

pairing: charles leclerc x small!singer!reader (fc: olivia rodrigo)

summary: after a twitter thread was made talking about the struggles you faced in a horrible way, you release a song you wrote with charles to talk about it

authors note: i am in no way saying olivia has struggled with or is dealing with anything mentioned in this story. this song means alot to me as someone who struggles with both addiction and my mental health so if im projecting..no one needs to know😁 i honestly have no clue how this is going to turn out but we will see. anything in bold italics is french

warnings: talks of addiction, depression, anxiety and suicide. alcohol addiction, drugs and self harm are all mentioned. the topics of this is me trying are mentioned, for obvious reasons but in a more personally focused way (if that makes sense). unwarrented hate (?). nothing really goes into detail but just regular warnings, please reach out to someone if you are struggling!!

authors note 2: i had to dust this one off and I HATE IT. its literally my least favorite work ive ever done so please feel free to keep scrolling😭😭 i just kept projecting by accident and it honestly kind of got out of hand. im also SO BAD with my wording so i have no clue if any of it sounds how i wanted it too!!

authors note 3: after reading it over i realised i never actually explained what i was talking about in the song thread so quickly, charles’ and yn split for a short period after yn started shutting him out, she spoke to someone (the stranger) who helped her start to extend the branches back out to charles and they got back together around 11 ish months before the song was released!! the fans never knew why they broke up, there was some speculation but most of it was dropped when they got back toegther

masterlist

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and 2,457 others

good food, yummy people😋

view comments

arthur_leclerc: you mean good people yummy food right?

yourusername: suuure😁

charles_leclerc: beautiful girl

yourusername: love you!!

user7: what is charles doing in the 5th picture😭😭

yourusername: he dropped his airpod😭

user10: girl have you seen twitter…

user75: charles run as fast as you can

user2: there is no way charles knew he’d never be with someone like that💀

user10: what and he’d be with someone like you??

user6: wait what is happening in these comments what happened on twitter?

user7: someone made a thread ‘exposing’ yn but its just a bunch of bullshit that his fans are using because they dont like yn

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 3,562 other

studio time with baeee💋💋

view comments

charles_leclerc: my favorite musician💐

charles_leclerc: i love you so much

yourusername: you mean the world to me charlie

pierregasly: kika wants to know if she can come next time

yourusername: tell her to text me so we can arrange it!!

user73: oh my god new music soon

user64: does this mean charles is on her new music?!

yourusername: maybeee

user64: GIRL DONT TEASE US LIKE THIS

user99: im so sorry about whats happening on twitter you dont deserve that

user2: yes she does

arthur_leclerc: can you tell charles to stop talking about your music when im not allowed to hear it, please🙏

yourusername: sorry arthur!! wanna come for a car ride and listen to it with us??

arthur_leclerc: please please please

user82: yn and charles taking arthur on a car ride to listen to her new song, oh what if i cried😭😭

arthur_leclerc added to their story

seen by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 86,289 others

*text in first picture reads: 🤍🤍* *text in second picture reads: so unbelievably proud of my sister*

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, sebastianvettel and 8,215 others

if you had told me a year ago that not only would i still be here but i would be releasing a song talking about the darkest times of my life with the love of my life by my side i would never have believed you.

throughout the past few months i have revisited times of my life i wish i could have left behind but ive learnt that accepting that this is a part of me now is important in my journey of moving forwards, and in moving forwards ive learnt that my struggles do not define me and i wont be embarrassed by things that have affected me

sometimes i wish i could go back and erase that part of my life, erase the way i felt, erase the way i treated the people i loved the most. but i cant, and i wont let people belittle me for that time anymore

if you have struggled in the past or are struggling today, you are not alone. its a cliche thing to say but i promise you at least one other person will be experiencing the feelings your feeling, you may not know them, you may never know them but you are not alone, you never have been and you never will be

you are not weak for struggling, you are not weak for finding ways to cope, no matter what they may be, you are not weak for shutting people out and you are not weak for reaching out for help, no matter how little you think you need it. you deserve help, no matter how small your problems may seem to you, you are worthy of being safe, you are worthy of being happy

i never thought i would release a song highlighting those times for me, but i wanted anyone whose been through these things to know that i love you and i will always love you; this is me trying out now on all platforms❤️‍🩹

view comments

arthur_leclerc: i am so so proud of you, you deserve all the happiness in the world

charles_leclerc: you mean the world to me, i am so proud of what you have achieved and i will be by your side forever and always

yourusername: charlie i hold so much love for you i feel like i may explode

user55: ive been struggling with an addiction for a while, i cannot express the way this song feels. just, thank you so much

yourusername: im right beind you darling, i believe in you❤️‍🩹

user81: i fear if i listen to this anywhere outside of the comfort of my room i will break down in tears

user93: 🩵🩵

user42: I😭JUST😭WANTED😭YOU😭TO😭KNOW😭THAT😭THIS😭IS😭ME😭TRYING😭

sebastianvettel: im so proud of you yn, come visit with charles soon sweetheart

yourusername: dropping everything and coming right now

lewishamilton: 💜💜

yourusername: hi lewis🤭🤭

user70: YN HELP😭😭 (just like me fr)

charles_leclerc and yourusername added to their stories

seen by pierregasly, sebastianvettel and 2,348,172 others

*text on first photo reads: i hold so much love for you🩷* *text on second photo reads: my bestest friend in the entire universe🩵*

[beesmygod]

today is webcomics day. i am bea and i make "A Ghost Story" - part 1: pre-gaming

webcomic day is a yearly celebration of the art form concocted by the screentones podcast team as a way for people to see how the sausage gets made. my webcomic "a ghost story" has been running for over 10 years, and yet i still don't think i can say i am good at making a webcomic. regardless, the comic is getting made because otherwise i become very, very sick in the head. today i would like to share with you the process of making a page of "A Ghost Story" from start to finish. either this demystifies the process or will make you think im so cool and strong for doing this 2x a week. instead of reblogging this one post until it gets very long, i will be posting individual updates that i will then compile and post on my personal website. block the tags now if you HATE comics and want them to EXPLODE.

if you have any questions, even things like "what the fuck are you even talking about" feel free to ask. i want to feel confident in what i make again and i think sometimes interrogation from an outside source is really

---

that said, let's get started. wait just kidding i want a cup of coffee first, hold on.

ok now im ready. i have a big glass of water. i have coffee. i have a headset for the parts of work that don't involve typing words. i can't type words and listen to some streamer babble in my ear at the same time, so it has to be instrumental music or nothing. i just took my meds so they should kick in after about 30 mins. i woke up late today, which is weird and annoying. but maybe i can work late instead.

first off, i need to know where i'm going beyond this one page. if i dont know where im going with something, then i usually create something that sucks that i have to deal with later. hold on my internet died, i have to reset the router. ok, anyway.

what's rattling around in my brain is that not only do i have to deal with maxine's current predicament, i am also dealing with multiple plot elements i need to wrap back around to from the previous chapter. luckily, im about to put maxine down for a nap, which means i can get back to those other elements:

i need to finish the exposition from the three ankou characters for this story arc establishing their motivations as the oppositional force in the story. the "villain" is not these three specifically, but their boss. they need to have a loose understanding of what's going on in order to communicate this to the audience. god this started turning into a huge ass paragraph so i'll just keep it short there.

we've jumped back to before jack's horrible day from the first chapter of this storyline so we have to make our way back toward that and then lapping it, which means wrapping up his various open threads like:

feeding victoria and learning something new about her

finding out alice is a very exceptional employee who is getting many awards

watching valdo call lily while interrupting her during something personal to ask her for help with maxine's situation.

jack meeting with valdo and lily the day after they first met so jack can just tell them straight up that lily has 4 sisters she doesnt know about.

help that girl with her poltergeist problem. remember that. i've had jokes for this rattling in my head for like 4 years. im going insane.

and also the fucking tilberi!!! that has a point its going somewhere!!! there's a larger menace here!!!

other things to set up the climax of this storyline. sexual tensions, hints at larger emotional problems not immediately evident to the reader

lots of moving parts. and i feel like im moving in slow motion to get to them. i can see them all weaving together in my head, its the process of putting that onto paper that's proving difficult.

ok that took an hour starting and stopping. -_- let me write the next part as i keep brainstorming on how to approach this page. taking a "rubber duck" approach to this might help. heres an image from the last page i worked on (i have a 5 page buffer rn so the site does not match the finished pages) to get us semi-situated.

also because images will help people understand what skill level we're working with here. i need to be able to communicate an idea to the audience; if the art also looks good on top of that, then that's just an added bonus. but the ability to communicate my ideas is sometimes hampered by my lack of artistic skill or comics language ineptitude. like those speech bubbles kind of fucking suck but at a certain point you have to just hit print on what you're working on in order to keep your already glacial pace.

webcomics is a tightrope act where you're also spinning 4 plates at once. the trick is to keep the audience from realizing how many actually fall or how wobbly they all are. the act sucks but technically its not a failure.

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

When I was binding my plant book I spent about an hour digging around online to figure out which stitch I would use and researching the different binding methods to figure out what would work best.

I also wanted a good written tutorial for how to do the stitch i ultimately chose (the coptic stitch) because I do not like video tutorials. Unfortunately none of the written tutorials had exactly what I needed. Specifically none of them told you what to do if you ran out of thread before finishing the binding. Their advice was "make sure to cut enough thread from the beginning" which was not going to work for me. While there is a way to measure out how much thread you need, I would likely still need to know how to add more thread. My plant book is quite a bit thicker than the books being made in the tutorials. And I dont know if you've ever tried to hand sew something by hand and thought "ehhh ill just cut off a bunch and hope its enough to do this in one go," but it NEVER works out that way.

DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT VOICE. THAT IS THE DEVIL SPEAKING.

All that will happen is you end up with a giant tangled mess of thread that you can never untangle. And im pretty good at untangling threads but its a pain in the ass and just not something I would like to waste my time on. Not to mention the wasted thread. So I ended up having to watch part of a video tutorial to figure out what I was supposed to do when the thread inevitably ran out. And I told myself that the next time I did this, I would make my own written tutorial with pictures showing what to do and also showing how I reinforce the spine because I go a bit further than any of the tutorials I found.

(Tutorial under the cut)

Most people seem to choose the coptic stitch because they like how it looks and they keep the stitching exposed. While I agree that it looks good, I dont personally like the exposed stitching. I like people to look at my books and be surprised when I tell them I bound them myself. And making a book that looks professionally done accomplishes that. Also I prefer it over the exposed stitching, ALSO I don't use proper bookbinding thread cuz I do this on a budget with stuff I can get at walmart or already have lying around the house and covering the stitching helps reinforce it. I ultimately decided on the coptic stitch partly because it allows the book to lie flat when open, but also because every article I read on different stitches to use said that it was the most complicated one and I looked at that and was like "pffffttt cant be that hard." And honestly I think I was right. Its pretty straightforward.

So what youre gonna need is some paper. Personally, I like to take those sketchbooks that are bound with tape or glue and pull all the pages out. This way you also get a front and back cover.

Again, every tutorial was telling me to fold the pages with a bone fold, which is nice if you have one, I guess, but I do not, so I used the clip on the side of my mechanical pencil to fold the pages in half. If youre using regular sketch paper then you wanna make some signatures which is a group of 4 to 5 sheets of paper, folded in half, and placed inside each other. But for something thicker like watercolor paper, I just sew each individual sheet on separately.

Next, you're gonna wanna take the hard piece of cardboard at the back of the taped together sketchbook and cut that shit in half. I use an exacto knife but ive also used scissors for this in the past. I do not recommend using scissors. Its possible to do but not worth the hand cramps. And then BOOM you have the covers of your sketchbook.

Another thing most people tell you to use is an awl to punch the holes in the paper. Again, I do not have an awl. Nor do I have the money to buy one. At first, I just punched the holes in with a thumbtack but thumbtacks are tiny and after awhile your fingers start to hurt and you may start to lose your grip on it and its just generally a bad time. But, ya bois got a lot of sewing needles (I kept losing them for awhile there and would give up and buy new ones only to then find the pack I lost. So I have like 3 packs of sewing needles.

Thats not counting the ones my mom has also bought because she's done the same thing) and out of frustration from using the thumbtack I decided to try sticking a sewing needle into one of my mechanical pencils and seeing if it would fit and not just immediately push back in when I tried to use it. And what do you fuckin know?

It worked extremely well and I wish id thought of it sooner. I cut the time spent poking holes into the signatures in half and it doesnt hurt my fingers at all.

Youre also going to need thread, of course. I use embroidery thread cuz thats what I already had. Normally you should go for a thicker thread. Preferably a waxed thread. And most people would recommend using a curved sewing needle. This is the one thing im considering getting for myself at some point. You CAN do it with a straight needle but a curved one would definitely make some aspects of this significantly easier.

Now to start off, you wanna take your string and put it in the needle and fold it in half and tie the ends together and then

You wanna thread the needle through the first signature and then

Pull it up through the bottom of the first hole in the cover and loop it around twice and pull it tight

Then push the needle back into the first hole in the paper

And put it through the next hole in the signature

Then repeat that process til you get to the end of the holes. When you get to the last one start like you did with all the others but after wrapping the thread around the cardboard twice you get the next signature

And push it in through the first hole and back out the second (tbc)

[devondespresso]

WIP Ask Game

tagged by the lovely @itsthestrangestthings and with perfect timing too! I've just finished the outline for the next arc and need to get words down

Rules

In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

(per usual I only have my one wip, so I'll be listing scenes from my Steve Henderson AU instead of different files. I'm also listing them with the short details i remember them by because they dont really have names lol)

Scenes

The Old Office (where's dustin's dad?)

Before Bed (we try and fail to talk about important things)

Family Dinner (with a side of overthinking)

Nightmare, but worse (for the love of god just talk about things)

Breakdown in the club(house) (as in the little play fort in dustins backyard)

Snippet

(and tags below)

Most of my work in the last 7 days has been trying to figure out what has been feeling off in some of my scenes i already jotted down, then putting together the outline for my next arc, so im being pretty loose with "words in the past 7 days" Chucks of this snippet were the most I've rewritten recently, but I'm definitely sharing more than just the rewritten parts because i can (Steve and Hopper has been one of my favorite dynamics to explore, especially within the context of the hospital and Hop's background)

___

But then a nurse came in, asking if his parents had been notified of his admission. She offered to call if they hadn’t yet, but Hopper promised he would take care of it.

He stood by the wall waiting for someone to pick up on the other line while Steve sat on the side of the bed and El curled up in a guest chair nearby.  Hop stood there listening to several minutes of dialing sounds and voicemail over and over with no sign of stopping.

“If they won't pick up after 5 minutes they're not going to pick up after 10."

Hop glared over.

"Thank you, Harrington, very helpful." he grumbled but still gave up and set the phone back.

“Just tell the nurse they know and don’t worry about it.” he offered, laying back down.

“Yeah and just leave ‘em in the dark about their kid in the damn hospital.” 

“I’ll call them later.”

Hopper huffed from the other side of the room. Steve tried not to focus on it, but after too long of a silence, especially after the building frustration, he had to look over.

Hop stood silent, leaned back against the wall. A mixture of thinking and working through his frustrations.

An unnerving amount of thinking for Hop, and his expressions were harder to read than most, having his own more subtle tells Steve hadn't known him long enough to recognize.

He looked over at Steve, gathering clues or something. Steve shot a face back, asking for an explanation.

He thought for a moment, then crossed his arms and walked over to him.

“Why don’t you want anyone here?”

Steve scooted back, sat up and crossed his arms back.

“Because it’s not that big of a deal-”

“That's a load of bull.”

Steve rolled his eyes, projecting annoyance to say This is not going to go anywhere.

“I’ve already dealt with a concussion on my own before and, surprise, it was fine.”

“That’s not it.” he said slow and cold: the tone he used to shut down that argument with Mike. “Tell me why.”

“I told you!” he said, pushing down more nerves to throw that tone back at him.

"No, you haven't."

"Well, what do you want me to say!"

“The truth, Harrington!” he yelled.

Steve froze in place, holding the scowl in place, keeping his eyes glued to Hopper to hide his reaction. Hopper caught himself, sighing and looking away in a self-directed disappointment. Only after the break in tension did Steve look away, staring at the wall.

Calm down, it was an accident. He didn’t mean to.

“I just want to know the truth, kid.” he backed up a good few feet, leaning back against the wall and looking at him firmly, “Because I can’t think of anyone who’d want to be completely alone in a hospital. Let alone a kid.”

He’s not like that, he’s trying not to be. He’s stopped.

His throat was tight and he could feel tears invading his eyes.

Not here, not here, not here

“You trying to prove something?” Hop guessed, taking his silence for stubbornness. He can work with that.

Steve threw a glare at him, getting up and going to the room’s bathroom, putting a lot of effort into appearing completely steady despite the dizziness. Hopper followed.

“Kid, I'm just trying to help.” He said, putting a hand on the door to keep him from opening it.

He’s not gonna drop it. Not trusting his voice to hold, Steve ripped out his wallet and shoved over a business card. Hop took it with his free hand, confusion distracting him enough to let Steve yank the door open and slip inside.

“Harringt-”

He slammed the door right behind him with a loud thud that made his breath catch. He quickly locked it, then held his breath a moment and closed his eyes. Then he breathed out slowly, quietly, and flicked the light on. Waited to hear Hopper’s footsteps leading away from the door back towards the phone before opening his eyes again.

Finally

___

Tags

@stobinesque @fag4dykestobin @museumgiftshoperaser @sharpbutsoft @spicysix @blushweddinggowns @marvel-ous-m @alexcharmsyou

(no pressure ofc 💕💕)

[ramzawrites]

Ah right sorry! I dont know how but my brain was like 'yes discord is exists in minecraft'- Yes of course I dont mind! You can do whatever you want with the request :) Good im happy to hear that! And Thank you!

Original Request: Could I request a shy and quiet reader forgetting they're on a discord call and starts to sing a song that they are listening to? and whoever is on call with them joins in? maybe with Tommy, Wilbur and some other characters you want to write for :)

Remember to eat and drink water!

Secret Singing - Reader Insert

GN

Pairings: none stated but can be read as Wilbur x Reader

Characters included: Wilbur, Tommy, Jack Manifold

Warnings: n/a

Series: a request <3

Summary: Wilbur was busy, but not busy enough to help Y/N set up their workspace at their favorite spot! Going off to fulfill his own errands only to come back to a nice and beautiful tune in the air. 

Words count: 2125

Authors Note: Lmao you are valid, I mean after all skype is canon in the dsmp 💔 Skype my abhorred 💔

Also adhd went brrr again, I tried looking over it a ton but there might still be a few mistakes!

“Oh, wow! Need any help with that, Y/N? That’s a lot of wool you got there!” Wilbur was running through L’Manberg to deal with some errands but stopped in his tracks, having to do a double take as he just saw a mountain of blue wool on legs walk towards his direction. Only then did he notice that it was Y/N who was holding on to a basket with the wool in their arms.

With a concentrated expression Y/N turned around a bit so they could look at him. Pieces of loose wool was laying in their hair or was stuck on their flushed face “Oh! Didn’t see you there! And it’s alright! I’m just getting it over to my bench!”

With their bench they meant the wooden bench they set up themself next to a small pond. They loved working close by it hence the bench to make it a bit more comfortable. It was also still a minute or two off and with the way Y/N was already struggling with the basket, Wilbur couldn’t just stand and watch. How could he hope to be a proper president when he didn’t help people who clearly needed it?

He shook his head with a fond smile on his face, stepping closer to grab the basket from them “Nope, let me help you. Not taking no for an answer.”

Y/N let out a few weak protests but ended up just pushing it into his arms, not wanting to accidentally spill the freshly treated wool unto the ground.

“Hey, um, be- bend down a little, Wil.” their voice weak and wavering like usual. Their shyness getting ahold of them again.

Not even thinking about why they asked this of him, he obliged. They then scoped up the top of the soft mountain so Wilbur had actually a chance to look across. He might be tall but that didn’t help when you held something big in your own arms.

With a soft satisfied smile they begun moving again and for a second Wilbur just stared as he readjusted his grip on the surprisingly heavy basket that Y/N probably made themself. Following after them and making sure that no stray pieces of wool would fall off.

“So, what’s all the blue wool for?” he asked.

For some reason this seemed to amuse Y/N “Well, a lot of our clothes use blue wool. The flag as well! I need some blue thread to either stitch some more flags down on clothing or when repairing them. Same for the flags flying about. General stitching. Besides can’t hurt to have some extra, might even sell some!”

In hindsight this made sense. When this whole L’Manberg situation started out Y/N offered to help stitch together their torn clothes. Over time they got really good at it and nowadays they have kind of turned into the resident seamstress.

Wilbur once apologized for pushing them into this profession only for them to vehemently shake their head “No! It’s fine! I- I enjoy it! It, uh, it also gives me something else to do than worry about our existence.”

He couldn’t argue with that. It was something that he lacked. Everything he did was dedicated to this new nation after all and he would lie, and he did, if this didn’t take a bit of a toll on him sometimes.

Once they arrived at the bench, Wilbur softly placed down the wool next to the seating area as Y/N carefully returned the extra wool back on top. They then sat down on the bench while taking out their tools out of their inventory to turn the wool into yarn or thread.

It wasn’t unusual finding them working here, especially when the weather was playing nice. Often enough sitting together with other people in sometimes comfortable silence or happy chatter. Either making thread, stitching or whatever work they had to do and could do outside.

“Thank you, Wilbur! I’m sure you are busy so I won’t keep you longer but you are welcome to join me if you are done with work before me.”

Wilbur picked some of the stray wool off his uniform and sighed, not particularly looking forward to the work “Yeah. I’ll come around if I can. I’m going to meet up with Tommy in a bit so he might join as well, not sure though.”

Y/N nervously chuckled “Yeah, don’t worry. I know.”

They then begun to set up their tools to start working. Not even looking after Wilbur who begun walking off again in a snail’s pace. He really wasn’t looking forward to his work at the moment but alas it was very important.

It took a bit, but he soon arrived at the building he and Tommy set up as something of a headquarter. It was basically just a room covered in maps, scrapped ideas, plans and a few weapon and armor pieces.

Tommy was already waiting inside for him. He looked a bit annoyed with his arms in front of his chest. Before he could complain to him though Wilbur already threw his arm around Tommy and led him to his latest sketched out plan for L’Manburg. Trying to distract him with work.

They were mostly discussing how to ensure the safety of the new nation and how to create a functioning system inside that would ensure that everything inside would move along smoothly.

Hours passed as they schemed and begun setting a few safety measures up or helped the residents of L’Manberg where they could. Jack Manifold later joined them as well. Helping and even offering ideas of his own to incorporate.

“I think that is all we can do for today. I’m getting seriously tired.” Jack sighed, cleaning the dust off his hands on his own clothes.

“You’re going home?” Tommy asked.

Jack crossed his arms, his eyes wandered off to the side behind his mismatched glasses as he thought for a second “Mh, I was hoping we could hang a bit, you know, outside of work. Haven’t done that in a while.”

“Oh! I promised to maybe spend some time with Y/N if they are still at their pond!” Wilbur suddenly exclaimed, remembering the exchange from a few hours ago.

A happy smile appeared on Jack’s face “Let’s go together then! I haven’t seen them in a while, and it’s been even longer that I hung out with them while they worked. It’s always very calming for some reason.” The last part he muttered but Wilbur caught it.

He wasn’t the only one who thought like this. Most of the people in L’Manberg were drawn to them especially in this chaotic time. It was nice having someone like that around.

“Guess I’ll come with you.” Tommy suddenly exclaimed, pulling Wilbur back out of his thoughts.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, why not. I need to ask them to look at my coat anyhow.”

With that the group begun moving, it was slowly getting darker, but it was still warm outside, so if they were lucky, Y/N was still out.

They were chatting about what they were planning to do next or in Jack’s and Tommy’s case what they have been up to only for them to get interrupted by a tune that the wind carried over to them.

A bit surprised Wilbur looked at the others, hoping to see if they too hear it and true enough, they seemed to be just as surprised as them. Someone was singing but he has never heard a voice like this.

Frankly, it was beautiful.

The tune was sounding sad and yet the lyrics that accompanied it were hopeful. Wishing for peace in a time of turmoil. Promises of a better time filled with a deep love via the voice.

It was a song that none of them ever have ever heard. An original song perhaps?

But what really surprised them was from what direction the music came from.

It came from the pond. From Y/N’s bench.

Almost as if they were worried to scare away a wild animal, they begun to sneak towards said pond. Staying off the path and taking a wild berth. Hiding behind the trees, trying to avoid that if their hunch were right, that Y/N wouldn’t see them approaching.

Wilbur pressed his index finger against his pursed lips as they got closer, motioning for the others to keep quiet. To which Tommy just rolled his eyes, seeing how this was obvious.

Jack slowly moved around the tree and there he saw it.

Y/N was sitting on the bench, their legs crossed with a piece of fabric in their hands that they seemed to stich another L’Manburg flag into. Slowly moving their head from one side to the next to the rhythm of the song.

Wilbur followed suit, using his superior height to peak his head out above Jack while Tommy crouched down to do the same.

They were still intently staring at their handiwork, pushing the nail and thread into the cloth only to pull it out again. Their mouth turned into a happy little smile as they sang this hopefully hymn.

“Wow, I didn’t think they could sing like that.” Jack whispered, looking up to Wilbur.

He nodded, his eyes continuing to rest on Y/N’s happy expression “Yeah. It’s beautiful.”

“I guess it’s fine.” Tommy just whispered back. Of course, he still had to put on his cool dude persona.

Wilbur flicked Tommy’s head “Just say for once what you really think!” He still made sure to keep his voice down, not having heard enough of the song and Y/N’s voice yet.

Tommy scowled and jumped back so he was standing at his full height again “What do you mean? I say what I think! The hell are you talking about!” He tried to keep his voice down but at the end he got louder which made Wilbur panic and clasp his hand around Tommy’s mouth.

Though Tommy saw this coming and dodged out of the way by ducking, resulting in Wilbur to fall over. Crashing into Tommy and pushing him onto the ground, both of them letting out a startled yell.

The singing immediately stopped.

“Ah! Look what you have done!” Jack whined, helping the two reluctantly up.

“Well, if Tommy would have shut his mouth!”

“You attacked me!”

“I did not! I was trying to shut you up!”

“Guys?” a soft and unsure voice broke through their argument.

All three men slowly turned around to see Y/N clutching the piece of cloth they had been working on close to their chest. Avoiding any eye contact. Their face covered in a deep blush. Chewing on their lower lip.

“Are you okay? I- I heard a thud and- I just- I wanted to make sure-“ they stammered.

Tommy seemed to be confused at that “What? No. You were singing though, right Y/N?” Getting straight to the point apparently.

“Tommy!” Both Jack and Wilbur yelled out in outrage.

Y/N’s eyes widened, and they moved the cloth up to their face. Effectively hiding behind it “No. I- uh. I’m sorry?”

“What are you sorry for? Your voice is amazing! Why haven’t you told us you can sing?” Wilbur stepped closer. His eyes wide as well but in amazement.

Though Y/N seemed to cower down even more the closer he got “Because- Because I can’t. Please just forget about it.”

Wilbur wanted to know more, hear more of their singing but they seemed panicked. Hiding away and trying to clearly get out of the situation and he had to take a step back. Guilt welling up in him.

“I’m sorry. We just heard your song, and it was beautiful. I have never heard this song. I guess we got enamored by it especially since your singing was really amazing.”

Jack put his hand on Wilbur’s shoulder and pushed him back a few steps “Come on let’s drop it. They are clearly uncomfortable. I’m sorry Y/N.” He then begun pulling Wilbur along, grabbing Tommy in the process as well who just yanked his arm away from him stating he could walk good enough on his own.

“Wilbur?”

He immediately turned around again to see the nervous Y/N with a determined expression on their face. The cloth now back down.

“The song! I mean, uh, my parent taught me that song when I was a child. Apparently, they wrote it.”

“It’s a really beautiful one. Your parent must be very talented. If you feel ever more comfortable enough I would love to hear the full song.”

Y/N took a deep breath in “I know how to play it on guitar and keyboard? I could, uh, you know. Teach it to you?”

Wilbur’s smile returned to his face “Sounds like a plan.”

[shit-scfandom-did]

so i have a few questions

1)i cannot understand how you ship k*ramel. their relationship was FILLED with toxicity. from mon-el failing over and over again to listen to what kara had to say to him basically telling her to give up being kara danvers. convincing her that "being supergirl and having you is enough” was absolutely horrible. karamel had their moments but overall it was toxic. then in s3 mon el was married and the whole point of season 3 was allowing them to move on. accepting the toxicity from s2 and pushing past that romanticized time. mon el was a better person by 3b but he was still married. even if mon el and imra did break up in the finale there’s no future for karamel. even during 5x13 kara went to ask on advice about lena. and when winn came to visit from the future not a word about him. she’s moved on and it just wouldn’t make sense for kara to end up with him.

2) how can you hate lena so so so much?? it’s been said over and over again that all she’s ever wanted to do is good. though she’s designed to be this morally grey character. she has FLAWS but that’s what makes her so good. she’s a victim of abuse and you can see her struggle with that especially in seasons 4 and 5. in 5 she definitely goes down a questionable path but how can you expect her not too? after being emotionally abused by her brother, betrayed by her family, andrea (this did happen before kara), and then eve. finding out that kara and EVERYONE she loves has betrayed her as well. I mean how could you not go mad?? and even when she “went mad” she was trying to rid humanity of PAIN. something she later realized was a necessary part of life. her hurt blinded her from reality and lex’s manipulation pushed her down further. she’s been hurt and broken so many times and while that’s not an excuse for what she’s done you have no sympathy for her and that I find appalling. lena has realized what she’s done is wrong, that she’s made mistakes, what she did to kara, and she will have to live with that isn’t that punishment enough? she’s apologized and is trying to make up for everything she’s done by saving the world (again). your unnecessary hate towards her infuriates me. cant you take a step back and see the whole picture?

3) why DONT you ship supercorp or accept the queerbaiting? (watch this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C2w2GBXd_Pg) They are the core relationship of the show while the danvers sisters are the heart. they’ve gone through so so much together and practically dated in early season 2. they love each other it’s just oh so apparent. i like to believe one of the reasons lena reacted so strongly in s5 is because she was in love with kara and she couldn’t handle the person she was in love with lying to her. and kara flew around the world to get lena’s favorite food!! if that’s not romantic idk what is. I feel like you’ve developed such a clouded view of supercorp that you need to take a step back and understand what lena is the love of kara’s life.

wow what a long message. im not here to hate. im here to inform & undertand. i get it. karamel had their moments and even MY perception of them might be a little cloudy. im not going to hate you for liking them. hell I even shipped them for a little! my brother thinks 3b mon el and kara would’ve been perfect but he understands that supercorp is just where the show is leading and he wants them to be endgame. but what I will hate is your hate. what’s the point of all this? this thread, this account is going to do NOTHING. so why bother? I debated sending this and I hope I’m not too harsh at times but I really wanna see what you say. I hope you can open your eyes to lena and supercorp. maybe even become a supercorp shipper yourself!

- thanks and supercorp endgame 💙❤️

First of all, if you want to discuss ships in the future send this type of anons to facepalming-since-chernobyl, this blog is not for this, but for gathering receipts.

1.I just ship it, I don’t get why you have to understand it. It’s shipping. But if you insist:

No, it was not filled with toxicity. Count me when he failed to listen to her when they were in a relationship. Secondly, he is not a dog, he has his brain, he is his own person. People don’t always do what others asked them to do. It’s not slavery.

He has NEVER said to her to give up being Kara Danvers. How did he exactly convince her? How can you read the scene that he convinced her that being supergirl and having him is erasing Kara Danvers? In this scene he supports anything SHE WANTS to do. Also, Kara Danvers doesn’t equal Kara being a reporter in CatCo. On that moment she had her blog. She change people’s live with it like a real reporter. She took the risk and met consequences of her actions aka being fired by Snapper. Also, remind me who told her to create a blog? With your logic Lena was erasing Kara Danvers too.

Friendly reminder that he was forced to the marriage to keep peace. Also, friendly reminder Imra and the Legion out him in this situation without telling him about her plans. She and Brainiac put him there, knowing exactly how much he loved Kara and how much she meant to him. Imra knew that, that’s why she asked him to stay and solve his feelings. She said if he had come back, she would have known he had no doubts. But he wanted to stay, that’s why they broke up. He came back because once again he sacrificed himself for the greater good, like a real hero. Maybe watch the Argo eps because they clearly show that no, it was no about moving on.

It was not accepting about so called toxicity. First of all, she already forgave him that he lied. Secondly, all of she was screaming in that scene, when she was infected with M’rynn’s powers, happened before they got together and it was already approached in the musical ep. Aka, this scene had no point.

There is no future for karamel because you say so?

Kara went to asked him, because she truly believed and trusted him and his judgment. And yes, she asked about Lena and what did he said? That Kara deserved the same compassion she gives others, something Lena never gave her. And sorry, I know all scs scream the 100 ep was about sc, but it was about Kara fully realizing she is not responsible for Lena’s horrible choices. That’s it. And friendly reminder she called her a villain in the last scene. Also, the ep showed than no matter what, Lena always ends screwing something, because she has too big ego, always knows better, doesn’t stand criticism and doesn’t trust anyone.

It doesn’t make sense for you. Suit yourself.

2.Her fans made me hate her :) Thanks to them and how they excuse her every horrible action, how they treat her as a victim, while she abuse everyone etc. I started to watch her more carefully. And well, she is a horrible, white, privileged capitalist, who plays god, judge, jury, has mommy issues and acts like typical Luthor while crying she is not one, while still using Luthors money and resources.

Yeah, many people want to make good and end doing evil things. Common people pay for their sins, she has never. Since allowing hostile Daxamite army to invade the Earth (also, her portal affected the other aliens who destroyed the NC), producing a device that could recofnize aliens without their consent (and it was used by Children of Liberty,)producing and lying about Kryptonite, trying to make people superpowered without any supervision, killing Adam during illegal experiment, supporting openly alienphobic president and in a way Agent Liberty, killing Lex and then blaming Kara and finally manipulating Kara for months, lying, gaslighting, yelling, making her steal Lex journal, trying to lobotomize her and tortured with kryptonite, hurting every way possible, physically and mentally. Working with mass murderer, enslaving 3 people (kidnapping Eve, without her consent putting AI into her mind, basically RAPING her brain and making her a puppet in her own body; enslaving end experimenting on Malefic and Russel – threatening to kill him to steal Andrea’s necklace) – none of it are flaws. It was horrible abuse and violating every human right and the fact some people excuse it is disgusting.

First of all, being victim of abuse doesn’t give you the rights to HURT other people. The fact I have to explain pains me. Secondly, what abuse exactly? Lillian didn’t love her? Lex kidnapped her? Said he was going to kill her? You know what? Winn HAD HORRIBLE past and he didn’t turn into a murderer. Mon-El was abused by his mother and never tortured Kara with Kryptonite. J’onn killed a lot of white martians but last time I checked he doesn’t feel good about it. Also, never said the things he has done were GOOD. See a difference?

Yeah, and all of it, still doesn’t give her the rights to torture people. Also, friendly reminder she lied to Supergirl about Kryptonite in s3, much before the whole drama. Remember how she destroyed the life of a girl that stole boyfriend in middle school? It clearly shows she always had THAT in her. Plus, sorry not sorry, if she wanted different life, outside her family she could have easily done that. She was in Star City, with Jack, doing her researches, making her career. And she threw it all away, because she WANTED to be a Luthor.

Plus, sorry not sorry, if you feel betrayed and hurt because your friend didn’t tell you something she didn’t OWE you, you go to therapy, not trying to lobotomize entire planet.

Mate, she wanted to lobotomizer entire humanity, without ANYONE’S consent, because SHE, one single Lena, felt hurt. This is playing a GOD. Nothing explains it.

Planning a cold ass revenge for months is not being blinded by feelings.

Once again, even if could argue about how many times she was broken, most of that was a white privileged life she chose herself but whatever, it still doesn’t excuse her. All of she has done should meet consequences. Paying for shit you have done, accepting it, fully realizing what you have done is a part of redemption. Still in s5 she didn’t even apologize to Kara. Because she still didn’t understand what she has done and doesn’t feel sorry about it.

Feel appalled as much as you want, because I’m not going to feel sorry for a white, privileged woman who has never paid for her actions and is basically a living avatar of the worst Karen you can imagine.

She realized Lex was using her horrible experiments (remember? She experimented on puppies too) to his own agenda, that’s why she went to Kara. That’s not grasping a thing. Mhm, if you call that an apology then suit yourself. She is not saving the world, she is helping once again other people fixing the shit she created.

Feel infuriated as much as you want, because I don’t care? Especially when it comes from a person who tells others to take a step back while being totally narrow minded about Mon-El and karamel.

3.Because actors, prodcuers, writers call SC a female friendship. Mel did that in her last interview. See whatever you want but maybe stop forcing people to ship a horribly abusive ship.

Well… no. Kara is the heart and soul of the Supergirl. Alex is her most important relationship. Lena is an important friend, who doesn’t deserve it yet, but we all know Kara is the Paragon of Hope so of course she is going to forgive her.

I know you people think sc dated because they breathed in one room, but in s2 Kara dated, had sex, kissed, cuddled and enjoyed her time with Mon-El.

Yeah, they love each other as friends. It was said more than once.

That’s your delusion, you are free to do it.

Kara done that to Alex too, so you are saying she is romantically in love with her sister or something? If bringing people food is romantic and damn, most of the people I know loves me, god.

No, lena is not Kara’s love of her life.

Cool, you are not going to hate me because I ship karamel, I’m touched.

Sorry that you are going to be super disappointed in the end of the show I guess.

You will hate my hate – what’s the point of it?

Once again, because I don’t think you understand the point of this blog or read the description – it’s gathering receipts of assholes who cross tag and hate on the actors. Maybe go and search #gross hate or #cast hate on this blog so you can see how amazing your fandom is. Have fun.

I would rather eat my own shit than starting shipping the victim of abuse with her abuser.

Thanks and no :)

[denkilightning]

ahhh you're the first person i've seen talk about how nd-coded c!george is!! it's such a shame that people gloss over cc!george's acknowledged inability to articulate well and his difficulty in expressing emotions bleeding into his character and then start expressing ridiculously ableist takes. it makes me kinda uncomfortable because i dunno george isn't really playing a proper character like dream, wilbur, tommy etc so it feels like people are criticizing the cc and not the character. do you have any more headcanons?

hi! yeah, it really is a shame people dont acknowledge how neurodivergent the entire dream team is, so.. have some nd! dream team headcanons >:)))

george likes pressure, so when the trio would cuddle theyd always stack on each other with george in the middle

sapnap has no volume control. hes either mumbling or yelling in the overworld, while.in the nether he always yells but its neuters itself cus of how loud the nether is

george stimms by eating!! its usually bread. bread is good.

so dream and george have matching diamond jewelry (george's earrings and dreams choker) and when theyre away from each other they switch it, so you can always tell cus george always holds the diamond charm while dream tugs at the earrings.

bad has really long hair (i swear if i see a single bald joke i will eat yalls kneecaps- /hj) and he usually keeps them up in braids so they sway behind him and when he walks a certain way they rhytmically sway behind him and its a great stim. it also works with ponytails of any kind

this is unrelated to the headcanons but i am filled with so much rage i want to scream (/pos??? certainly not /neg) cus im listening to the tree on the hill from the lightning thief. i have no idea why this song fills me with so much emotions but if anyone would like a headcanon thread on my pjo au centered around dream team please tell me i want to talk.about them so badly please im beg- (/lh)

dream and george rocky cuddle :)

ad to the previous point: i dont know if its the actual name, but im talking about where they hug and rock together

george always makes sure to kick sapnap when he unironically calls himself dumb (dont call yourself dumb kids, it ruins your god complex- /hj)

george cant decode emotions from faces only, except when it comes to a) dream and sapnap (he can tell a big portion of them) b) when its pain on one of the hunters faces

george doesnt understand the concept of gender. like yknow the "what are your pronouns, knuckles?" comic?? yeah, thats george.

sometimes the team will ask george to call them something completely different like "capybara" or "epiphany" and george will just switch without missing a beat. they also experiment with pronouns with george cus hell call you "ketchup" without finding it weird

sword fighting is one of sapnap's special interest :)

both sapnap and george are semi-verbal

georges special interests include but arent limited to: fungi, tea, knive combat, archery

george and sapnap will stay up all night to let sapnap talk his heart out

ok so i headcanon that dsmp! rat is actually like a tamed wolf instead of a small dog, and shes bads service dog

sapnap grew up without knowing human western concept of gender exists cus bad forgot it existed and so did skeppy

anyway theyre all neurodivergent, queer and trans, cus i make the fucking rules :)

hope these are comprehensible <3

[nightshadowhawk]

rating ninjago seasons with explanations because i was bored (spoilers obvs)

way of the ninja: 6/10 - i remember watching this ages and ages ago, to me they were just filler episodes to me as i’d watched all the way to rebooted at that point, not super interesting but it started everything so extra points for that

rise of the snakes: 5/10 - YES its old i know but the… the GD attack should have caused more chaos… destroyed more stuff… it only moved a couple cars in this season (which entirely changes in SoG with harumi’s flashbacks) which i thought was … weird, even when i was younger lol… but theres development of characters n all i think a lot of it is rad !

legacy of the green ninja: 6/10 - pretty good, i haven’t watched this in a while so i dont remember much but the end battle is Legendary so there’s extra points for that and also extra points for dareth being introduced hee hee

rebooted: 6/10 - the whole overlord and nindroids thing is … pretty cool ?? pixal and cyrus exist now so !!!! that adds points !!! when i was younger i remember watching zanes sacrifice a lot cuz i couldnt get over it, and now i can recite all the words off by heart … lol anyway i think this seasons ok 👍

tournament of elements: 8/10 - very good, i loved seeing the other elemental masters !!!! and chen is actually a very cool villain, especially when i was younger, i loved him then lol … the ending is kinda 😟 bc garmy technically dies but yea its a gud season C:

possession: 10/10 - this season is EVERYTHING???? the intro SLAPS, the whole aesthetic is incredible and not to mention theres a whole bunch of favourite characters content in this season so that adds extra points !!!! the story all flows smoothly and its just Mmmm so gud. i love it dearly, defo a comfort season i’ve watched it so many times

skybound: 7/10 - i can see why some people hate this season as the whole nadakhan marrying nya thing is VERY weird (even my cousin who was 6 at the time when we first watched it could tell that) … but theres extra points for 1. the whole misfortunes keep crew, i love them, and 2. the ninja replacements team, i also care them all so dearly … the lighting in this season is super good, and also the storyline threads together well, i just find it very Appealing how it goes back to how it started

hands of time: 4/10 - idk man its just … boring, i can’t really be interested enough to watch to the end of the season? extra points for acronix being pretty and the scruff moments tho lol…. also whats with more snake people …. cant be ninjago without snakes ig LMAO

day of the departed: 5/10 - i also just see this as a filler… i mean yes it tells how cole turned back from a ghost but otherwise it’s just kinda random but i still liked it

sons of garmadon: 7/10 - pretty good ! harumi is a very cool character tho i do think shes kinda selfish … like a lot of others probably lost family in the GD attack??? kind of confused … but the SoG group as a whole is VERY epic i love the designs for UV and mr E (killows design just throws me off tho… why Real Hands..)

hunted: 10/10 - SO damn good the storyline is EVERYTHING and i love how it switches POVs every so often to keep things on edge. its also pretty dark for a kids show and that makes it better, and the cinematics for this are all just AMAZING…. i care the dragon designs so much, mmmmmmmmmm beloveds :^)

march of the oni: 6/10 - wasted!!!!! potential!!!!! the oni were such a good show of fantastic character design and they were just….. taken out in like 5 seconds despite them literally being the embodiment of destruction? there was literally two seasons before this of the ninja dealing with one (1) embodiment of destruction and then when theres LOADS that make tentacle death clouds and are super OP they just … are defeated????? ok…… also what was the point in coles fall fr it just made me sad for no reason🙁

secrets of forbidden spinjitzu: 6/10 - the fire chapter was … cool ? i guess, wasn’t the most interesting, aspheera is hot tho lol😝(LITERALLY !!!!! Funny joke pls laugh.)also clutch being introduced adds points, love the stupid explorer man. the ice chapter is super dark, i loved seeing the never-realm and how everything worked there, and ?? evil zane ?!??!? sheeeeeesh that was a bold move that was super epic … i liked this part of the season :^0

prime empire: 10/10 - another comfort season YEAHHHHH !!!! the aesthetic !! so good !!! the characters r RAD like scott and okino and seven I LOVE THEM SO DEARLY ….. the soundtrack is RAD as well i listen to it plentifully …… the ending is happysad and i always go a bit cry when unagami and milton walk away together :’^)

master of the mountain: 8/10 - the whole slavery thing is … questionable but the skull sorcerer’s design is super awesome ! and the upply … i care them … :^)))) AND A COLE SEASON !!!! i loved the development for him !!! and the way that vania and cole stayed a friendship the whole time cuz it never implied they were gonna date or whatever which made me happy honestly … i rated it 8/10 as the extra points are from the upply

the island: shit/10 - what the fuck was that. the islanders were cool i liked their designs but seriously i hated the ending so bad like there was no reason for ronin to be the antagonist again … just let clutch steal the amulet and there you have it all set up for the next season whoooo

seabound: 9/10 - again i love the aesthetic, the glowy-ness of everything is so pretty in this, and the design for wojira is amazing … tho this season is super sad, im sure theres reasoning for the ending of it :)))))) the storyline is also very good in this ! it does actually make sense which sometimes doesnt happen ……...

[dyldavis]

hello all! im allie and im SO excited to meet and plot with each of you! this is my babe dylan. she’s pretty much developed which makes it fantastic for me bc it gives me more time to plot and thread with each of you! below is a bit about her along with some connections that i’d love! like this or let me know if you’d like to plot!!

pinterest || connections

All while being somebody, dylan davis is a nobody. She is remembered for her snarky comments and deadpan stares. She is known for her laugh in which you’d be very lucky to hear. She is known for the quiet kindness that she shares, but never really speaks of. She is known for her movie knowledge which spewed over from her sister’s ex boyfriend and his never-ending knowledge about the smallest details in movies. She is one person made up of many people’s attributes. She is the second daughter of three in the davis home. She is not only a lover, but a fighter, especially of injustice.

► basics;

Full Name: dylan rose davis Age: twenty-four Birthday: March 15 Sexual Orientation: pansexual Relationship Status:  single Occupation:full time student, part time barista 

► background;

Place of Birth: New York, New york Hometown: New York, New York Education:high school. working on degree in film

► physical;

Faceclaim: madelyn cline Eye Color: brown Hair Color:blonde Height: 5′4 Tattoos, Birthmarks, Scars, etc: tattoos can be found here. scar on right leg, birthmark on left shoulder.

► relatives;

Father’s Full Name: john davis Mother’s Full Name: elizabeth davis (birth mother. left when dylan was 4) wendy davis (step mother. who dylan considers her actual mother) Siblings: mitch davis (half brother), sophia davis (oldest sister), lily davis (youngest)

► personality;

Positive Traits: adaptable, astute, candid, dauntless, gregarious, Negative Traits: brazen, casuistic, stoic

► misc;

Hobbies: swimming, writing, reading Current clubs: book club, swim team Favorite Music Genre: (70s/80s) rock Favorite Movie: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Pets: dog- talia 

► connection ideas;

childhood friends: dylan moved here with her family when she was around the age of ten. she lived in new york up until that point. SO i’d love some friends that she grew up with! whether that’s in new york and they kept in touch (or maybe they didn’t) or they met when she moved here! 0/?

ride or die: someone dyl really lets her guard down for. she can be very guarded and keeps up her sarcastic self as much as she can, but with this person, she’s constantly laughing. maybe they have the same kind of banter and can joke around like that. maybe they’re very much opposites but for whatever reason it works. im totally okay with whatever! 0/1

friends: pretty self explanatory! maybe they have a class or two together. maybe they work together at the coffee shop. maybe they met through mutual friends. maybe they met while dylan was traveling. the possibilities are endless. 0/?

sibling like friends: this would be a person dylan considers like family. they have more of a brother sister bond or sister sister bond. this person could be older or younger! 0/?

friends of her siblings: dylan has an older brother named mitch, an older sister named sophia, and a younger sister named lily. these would be people who know her siblings or are friends with them. they could either also be friends with dylan or maybe they dont get along as great as they do with her siblings! 0/?

roommates: i have it somewhat hc that dylan lives in an apartment off campus with a few other people. probably two or three people. maybe they all get along, maybe they dont. im okay with whatever! i do imagine dylan gets along well/is friends with at least one of her roommates 0/2

exes: maybe they ended on a good note. maybe not so much. a high school fling or something serious? again, the possibilities are endless. 0/?

crushes/pining: listen, im always a sucker for some pining things. whether one side doesn’t know the other person’s feelings or there’s some unrequited things, sign.me.up. 0/?

ill come up with more as i think of them! if you have any ideas, dont be afraid to mention them to me!!!

[neocityarchive]

blind love | l.m.k.

— in which mark lee is so much more than just your best friend but you were too blind to realize it.

word count: 7.2k | warnings: light swearing | blind love - lola young |

a/n: i didnt mean for it to be this long but i hope you enjoy!!!

“Just friends,” Mark said, his voice still steady even in the growing tension of the moment. “That’s all you said we are, right?”

Your head dropped down to look at your hands, not knowing what to say. The overbearing guilt of rejecting his sudden confession was crushing your chest that it became painful to breathe.

“I’m sorry, Mark,” was all you could say. You forced yourself to meet his gaze through your already glassy eyes, wanting to let him know the sincerity of your words.

He smiled kindly, shaking his head. There was sadness in his eyes. And in all the years you two have known each other, you could tell how hard he was trying to hide it. “It’s okay. That’s all we’ll be.”

You bumped your head repeatedly against your study table in an attempt to rid yourself of the memory that’s constantly been playing in your head. 

It was a Sunday which meant there were no classes, which meant the university was closed, which meant that you couldn’t even make an excuse to see your best friend Mark who somehow, after almost three years of friendship, suddenly decided that it was a good idea to tell you he loves you more than a friend should love a friend.

You couldn’t say it happened out of nowhere. He’s been saying he has something important to tell you for almost two weeks before the incident but every time you confront him about it, he always makes up some lame excuse to dodge. It took a lot of self-hate for yourself and a nice amount of his protective instinct to finally make him spit it out. 

He came to your apartment that night, finding you barefaced, wearing a pair of sweats and one of his hoodies that you stole some time ago. From that he already knew you weren’t okay. You like wearing his stuff to seek some sort of comfort. Somehow, the smell of his clothes helps calm you down.

You were supposed to help him finish a report but you couldn’t concentrate after getting a below satisfactory grade on a major exam. College has done nothing but give you a shitload of insecurities lately and this just pushed you off the edge. The only thing that has been keeping you sane was the knowledge that you had someone who you can run to at the end of the day. Someone who is willing to listen to your rants and would do almost anything to cheer you up.

That day, however, none of Mark’s usual encouragement worked on you. He was getting frustrated hearing you downplay yourself because of a single exam. You started going on about how stupid you felt, how staying up all night to study did nothing but make you ugly. Mark countered every insult you threw at yourself, throwing in a few jokes here and there, all of which you ignored. But when you went on about how all of this made you unworthy of anything, how no one could possibly love you in this state, he just couldn’t take it anymore.

“I love you,” he snapped, cutting you off from your long self-deprecating speech. 

“You’re my best friend. You’re supposed to say that,” you whined, clearly missing the point.

Mark, on the other hand, was barely holding it all inside. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “No, idiot. I love you. Stop saying no one could love you, because I do. And not just because you’re my best friend.”

It wasn’t until you noticed his hands were quivering that you realized what he really meant. Looking back on it, you couldn’t help but hate yourself. You were sure it took a lot of his courage (and frustration) to come clean to you like that, and you couldn’t even take him seriously at first.

“Mark, no,” you remember telling him.

“I do. I hate that I do, but I do.” He looked away. “I love you and I know you’re feeling burdened right now, but you don’t have to say it back.”

A part of you broke that day. You hated rejecting people after having gone through several rejections yourself. It’s the worst feeling. You always wished there was a way you could always return people’s feelings just so no one would get hurt, but the universe just doesn’t work that way.

You muttered about a hundred sorries to which Mark replied a hundred ‘it’s okay’s. Maybe it was meant to make you feel better, but it just felt like your heart was getting ripped off your chest.

Mark didn’t stay long after that. You didn’t even get to help him with his report. He said sorry for suddenly dropping the L-word and you said sorry for not being able to say it back. He smiled sadly and it took your everything not to cry. He asked if he could hug you and you didn’t even answer. You just went straight into his arms, burying your head in his chest like you’ve done so many times before, breathing heavily to keep yourself from breaking down. And when the two of you pulled away, he insisted on being alone for a while. You said okay followed by another sorry.

You didn’t know “being alone for a while” meant ignoring you for god knows how long. You see him at uni but he wouldn’t even meet your eye. Even when you share the same class, he would choose to sit as far from you as possible. Once, he entered a cafe you were in and upon seeing you inside, he immediately turned around and walked away.

He’s ignoring you and he isn’t even being subtle about it. Mark Lee could never be subtle about anything, not even his feelings. You really were just too blind to realize anything.

Even other people saw how he felt. People used to come up to you all the time and ask about your “boyfriend” Mark. Sure, you would blush, shy that people thought you’re in a relationship with your best friend. When you explain that you weren’t actually dating, you would get the same shocked reaction every time. One of your friends even said you acted more like a couple than most people in a relationship do. You always thought it was just because you and Mark were such good friends.

“Friends don’t hold hands in public,” you remember Renjun saying.

“We don’t hold hands. He just grabs me and drags me to places,” you said defensively.

“And they don’t hug each other and stare at each other’s eyes while talking about pizza,” Jaemin scoffed.

You just rolled your eyes at them. It never crossed your mind that maybe they were right. You and Mark have never acted like how friends should. Maybe it’s the reason why you’re in this mess after all.

You sighed to yourself. You miss him. You can’t even pretend that you don’t. He’s become such a huge part of your everyday life that you couldn’t just ignore the sudden empty space he left when he said he wanted to be alone. You know he needed time to be by himself. But a part of you keeps holding on to his promise that even after his confession, you two would still be friends. And friends text each other, right? So all your attempts at communication depended on just that.

Thursday, 5:31 PM

You: wanna go watch a movie? i’ll buy the tickets.

Mark: cant. i have an exam tomorrow. sorry :/ maybe next time?

You: oh. okay. goodluck on your exam :)

Friday, 2:21 AM

You: [photo] this is possibly the cutest cat photo i’ve seen in awhile

Mark: that’s cute but dogs are still cuter

You: … okay?

Mark: go to sleep, y/n

Friday, 12:03 PM

You: i know you dont have class rn. have lunch w me?

Mark: oh i already ate with jaemin. sorry!!

You: it’s okayyyy :>> i’ll see u later? it’s friday night sooo we can hang out.

Mark: idk the boys already asked me to go out tonight

You: oh okay have fun!

Saturday, 6:54 PM

You: maaaark

Mark: y/nnn

You: [types] i miss you kajdhfhdksjdh [deletes]

You: nothing haha wanna grab some coffee?

Saturday, 7:01 PM

You: nvm haha have a nice nighhhttt

Sunday, 10:21 PM

You: hey can we talk

Mark: ???

You: please?

Mark: ye what about?

You: you said we’d still be friends

Mark: lol aren’t we?

You: this isn’t how friends talk to each other. i miss having an actual conversation with you.

You: we dont even see each other anymore.

Mark: i literally reply more to u than i do to jaem wdym haha

You: wow fine okay

Mark: ?????

You: i guess i deserve that haha

Mark: im tired y/n. night.

You: :( nighttt

You checked your messages for the nth time, reading everything as if something was gonna miraculously change with the cold conversation thread. Your fingers have been hovering over the keypad, typing and deleting ‘i miss you’ and ‘talk to me’ for about a hundred times already.

You don’t get why you can’t just say it. What’s so wrong with telling your best friend you miss him? Why is it so hard to press send? Why are you suddenly so afraid of how he would reply or if he would even reply at all?

It was only 10:30 in the evening. You know for sure Mark is only lying about going to sleep. He never sleeps this early unless he really is tired. He does nothing on Sundays so he can’t possibly be tired. Sundays are usually just the two of you hanging out in his apartment or yours, just to watch movies or study together. So what did he do today?

“Stop thinking about him,” you grumbled to yourself. “It’s just Mark. He’s a big boy, he can handle himself.”

But that’s not the point, a voice inside your head said. Just tell him you miss him.

You typed it again, ‘I miss you,’ but deleted it as soon as it was finished. Again. 

You’ve spent everyday with Mark that it suddenly hurts to think he’s enjoying the time you usually spend together alone. It’s crazy how you can’t stop thinking about how his day went or if he’s okay or whether he’s eaten or not. You know how stubborn he can be. Sometimes, he’d get so engulfed in whatever he’s doing that he would accidentally skip meals unless you remind him otherwise. 

“Fuck this,” you muttered to yourself. You figured you won’t ever be left at peace if you don’t do anything about whatever you’re feeling, so you decided to text Jaemin.

Sunday, 10:52 PM

You: jaeeem hi :)

Jaemin: y/n!!!!! hello :>

You: sorry for bothering you but have you talked to mark lately?

Jaemin: im talking to him rn haha why? you want me to ask him something?

You: not really hahaha how is he?

Jaemin: haha why not ask him yourself

You: he doesnt wanna talk to me lol pls just answer

Jaemin: he’s stubborn as always. he wont listen to me.

You: why, what’s he doing?

Jaemin: idk but it’s definitely not talking to you ksjdjkd

You: … very funny

Jaemin: sorry lmaooo he’s running on an hour or two of sleep everyday

You: jaemin!! why won’t you scold him?

Jaemin: we do! he just doesn’t listen. u know he only listens to you.

Jaemin: idk why you guys still arent together lmao bunch of idiots tbh

You: we’re just friends

Jaemin: rlly? oh btw mark hyung is looking for his save the bees shirt. did u see it anywhere?

You: yeah he left it here like two weeks ago when he slept over

Jaemin: LMAOOO DOESNT SOUND LIKE FRIENDS TO ME CHIEF

You: i fckingskjfhfn hate you

Jaemin: HJSJSHHDJD ok but seriously tho mark hyung is fine. just give him time, he’ll come around.

Jaemin: he misses you but u didnt hear it from me

Jaemin: ok bye he’s getting suspicious now lol

You: idk how you’re both an angel and the devil at the same time

You: anw thanks jaem. dont tell him i asked about him lol byeee

You sighed, putting your phone down in surrender. Your mind was more of a mess now than it was before you talked to Jaemin. You hate that he makes sense especially about the weird, more-than-friendly dynamics of your relationship with Mark. But more importantly, your head was beginning to be overfilled with worry.

Mark runs on barely two hours of sleep everyday. No wonder he always looks so out of it whenever you see him in the hallway. You wanted to call him, to tell him that he should sleep already, to remind him that he shouldn’t overwork himself, that doing just enough is okay. But you know he doesn’t want to talk to you. The cold replies and the ‘????’ were more than enough to tell you that.

Still, you figured it was worth a try sending him a little reminder. So you grabbed your phone once again and typed a message, revealing a little more of your emotions than you intended to. And before you could even think twice about it, you hit send.

Sunday, 11:04 PM

You: hey i know you’re still not asleep. dont worry, you dont have to reply to me. i just wanna tell you that you should take care of yourself. i know you. you’re stubborn and sometimes you won’t sleep or eat unless someone reminds you to so,, this is me reminding you haha. stop overworking yourself mark, please? you cant be sick cause i cant take care of you since you wont talk to me… lol jk. but seriously, get more rest (and talk to me,, hahah jk again unless u wanna ;)) please go to sleep now. goodnight. see you around i guess.

You stopped texting Mark after that. You wondered if he would find the initiative to talk to you first if you didn’t start the conversation. Now, two days have passed and your sleep reminder remains to be the last message on your conversation thread. You couldn’t say it didn’t hurt. You were hoping for at least a small thanks but didn’t get anything at all.

You were starting to get more and more frustrated as the days went by. It’s so unfair that you are slowly losing your best friend because of this. It’s unfair that you can’t even be mad at him because you just broke his heart. You wished there was any way you could have changed what happened, but the past remains to be written.

That afternoon, you passed by one of the cafes you and Mark always go to. You went inside, suddenly craving their special banana muffin which he introduced to you some months ago. The owner recognized you right away as you came up to the cashier.

“You’re not with your boyfriend today?” she asked.

You felt your heart skip a beat and not in a good way. It hurt. You figured there was no use in explaining since she probably won’t believe that Mark is not your boyfriend so you just smiled sadly and answered, “No.”

The lady somehow talked you into buying two muffins so you can bring one to your “boyfriend.” After handing her your payment, you realized maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. Mark always brings you stuff whenever you’re mad or upset. He knows exactly what you’re craving for even before you knew you were craving for it. Why not try if it works on him?

As soon as you headed out the cafe, you whipped your phone out to text Jaemin, asking if he knew where Mark was. It’s Tuesday, his most free day of the week so he could be anywhere. Jaemin replied not after five minutes.

Jaemin: not sure but he mentioned something about the library??

You: okay thank you!

From that, you knew exactly where Mark is. There was a small patio-like spot beside the library that he likes going to. Not a lot of people utilize the place since the tables and chairs are almost always filled with dried fallen leaves from the surrounding trees but Mark likes the thought of being close to nature.

That day though, there were more people around the area than usual. It was lunchtime so most people were out of the classrooms. Still, it wasn’t hard spotting Mark. It has never been much of a challenge finding him in a crowd of people. You saw him as soon as he came into view, sitting by the table on the corner under one of the ginkgo trees. He had his laptop open and a box of food beside it. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration one moment and then he was laughing the next. 

You were about to make your way towards him but immediately stopped in your tracks when you realized he wasn’t alone.

You didn’t know who the girl was. You’ve seen her a lot of times in class and in the hallway. You even have a vague memory of Mark talking to her one time. But you never really bothered to learn her name. She had that soft, innocent look that goes so well with her shy smile. She had her hair tucked in her ears to show just enough of her pretty face. She was beautiful. Unconventionally but undeniably. But none of that mattered.

When she said something with a smirk and Mark let out his trademark laugh, nose scrunching, hand repeatedly hitting the table, shoulders shaking and all, it felt like something punched you in the stomach. He uttered something in reply and now both of them are clutching their sides for laughing too hard. 

He looks happy, you thought, I should be, too.

But you aren’t. You continued watching their exchange, him showing her something on his laptop and both of them laughing once again. Your chest felt heavy, like something was sitting on it and now it hurts to breathe. You didn’t realize you’ve been clutching the plastic bag containing the muffin too hard until you felt the sting of nails digging on your palms. You knew you should look away but you couldn’t. You wanted to run towards him. You wanted to tell the girl to scooch over so you can sit beside Mark and give him his muffin.

This is pathetic. I should be happy for him, you said to yourself. But why am I not?

You wanted to be angry, to scream and say that it should be you he’s laughing like that with. To say that it’s you he should be spending his time with. You wanted to ask if he still feels the way he said he does about you. And if he does, then why this? But you remained glued to the ground.

You hated how you were being selfish. You rejected him, remember? So why do you expect him to follow your tails like an intoxicated mad dog? Why can’t you be happy at the possibility that he found someone that feels the same way he does? Why does it… hurt? It’s not supposed to. If you really are friends, then him being happy with someone after your rejection should make you happy as well. If you really are friends, then you shouldn’t be standing here looking stupid, watching them from afar, wishing he’s with you instead.

“What are you looking at?”

You jumped at the sudden disruption, almost dropping your muffins. “What the hell, Jaemin?!” you whined, finally looking away from Mark.

“Mark hyung and Mina?” he snorted.

So that’s her name. “No,” you lied, forcing yourself to take a step away, then another, then another.

“Are you jealous?” Jaemin teased. “Have you finally realized you’re also whipped for our hyung?”

“No,” you grumbled.

“Then why are you almost crying?” 

You blinked. You didn’t even realize the tears pooling in your eyes. Why are you being like this? “Shut up. I’m not.”

Jaemin only shrugged. “Fine. Torture yourself, then.” He smirked. “By the way, Jeno and I are inviting people to our place this Friday after exams. Just some drinks and maybe karaoke, I don’t know. We all deserve a break from hell. Wanna come?”

You didn’t reply. Your mind was too preoccupied with other things.

“Mark hyung is coming,” he said. “Maybe Mina too.”

“I don’t wanna go,” you said immediately, suddenly coming up with a decision.

The boy laughed. “You are jealous! God, I love it when you prove yourself wrong. You shouldn’t be though. You already know he likes you.”

“I’m not jealous! Stop it,” you whined, really wanting to cry this time. Everything is so frustrating and Jaemin is not being of any help. You wanted to go home and just wrap yourself in your blanket and maybe one of Mark’s hoodies.

“Then come to our place this Friday. It’s gonna be fun.” He grinned.

“Fine. Whatever. Just get away from me, you little shit,” you said, kicking him lightly in the butt.

You didn’t know if it was a lie or not but if Mark really is seeing someone now, you just didn’t like the idea of seeing them flirt with each other in front of your eyes. Even the thought of it makes you want to pull all your hair out. Is that considered jealousy? If so, why are you feeling it for someone who’s supposed to be just a friend?

Thursday came and you found yourself crying after realizing the shirt you’ve been wearing the whole day was Mark’s. No wonder he looked surprised seeing you in the hallway. He looked away immediately though, acting as if you weren’t there. It didn’t even cross your mind since you use this shirt quite a lot.

After calming yourself down, you put your playlist on shuffle and cried some more after Friends by Ed Sheeran started playing. You didn’t even realize how fitting the song was for your situation until now. Mark probably did.

You remembered him singing that song once. The two of you were just lounging in his apartment. He was playing his guitar while you pretended to study when in reality you were just looking at him. You watched as his fingers plucked and strummed the guitar strings while he softly mumbled lyrics, head bobbing to the tune. He’s good. Unsurprisingly, since he’s good at everything.

When he realized you were staring at him, he turned his head slightly to meet your eyes, one side of his lips curling up into a smirk. “No, my friends won’t love me like you do,” he sang. 

You looked away, your cheeks heating up almost immediately. It was hard to focus on your readings when he’s sitting right in front of you looking like that, singing like that. You sighed. He truly was never being subtle about how he felt.

After finishing the song, Mark put his guitar down and laid his head on your lap, not even bothering to ask if it’s okay. That’s how comfortable you were with each other.

“What are you doing?” You remember whining.

“Wake me up after 15 minutes,” he said, already closing his eyes. You took a photo of him that night. He’s cute when he’s asleep. Even cuter when you look at him up close. 

Of course, you just had to search your camera roll to find the photo. When you did, it felt as if a storm was raging on your stomach and a gorilla was pounding on your chest. It never dawned to you just how much it hurts that he suddenly left you alone until that moment.

“Goddamn, I miss you so much,” you muttered, looking at his peaceful expression in the photo.

And then you cried some more. You feel lost.

All you wanted to do was curl up in his arms and inhale his scent and listen to how his day went (and maybe accidentally fall asleep together). It sucks because you really had no one else to turn to. The single person who has always been your safe place doesn’t want to talk to you and even if he did, you really wouldn’t know what to say. Perhaps friends really aren’t like that. The thought of everyone being right when they said that maybe you and Mark were never really just friends has never been stronger than it was tonight.

Still, you couldn’t be bothered to sort your feelings out.

He feels like home, you thought. It was the best way to explain the sense of comfort and safety and the feeling of being more than enough that he provides you. It’s the only thing you can think of when your mind drifts to how he is always the constant person that you run to at the end of the day. But friends can feel like home, too, right?

Not to this extent. Not really.

Friday. You found yourself aimlessly roaming around the neighborhood after your classes in the hopes of distracting yourself from your feelings or whatever the hell they’re supposed to be called. You wouldn’t have remembered Jaemin’s party if you didn’t happen to pass by their apartment building.

You stood in front of it for two solid minutes, contemplating whether to go or not.

Mark might be there, you thought. With everything that’s going on in your head and with all the mess happening in your chest, would it really be a good idea to see him? You thought maybe all these things you’re feeling are just a result of missing him. All these sadness and confusion might just be because you miss your best friend.

So you entered the building. You told yourself that you’ll try talking to him again this time, no matter how stubborn he’s going to be. And if it still doesn’t change anything, then you will take it as a sign to let him go. If not forever, then at least for now.

You reached the door to Jaemin and Jeno’s apartment. Even from the outside, the sound of the bass can already be heard. You wondered how long before the neighbors would file a complaint against them, but knowing Jaemin and Jeno, their neighbors are probably inside, partying with them right now.

Before entering, you looked down on your chest just to make sure you were wearing your own shirt and not Mark’s. It didn’t feel right wearing his stuff anymore. God, it really felt like you just broke up. Why is it like this?

You took a deep breath and opened the door. There were already a lot of people inside even if it was just 8 in the evening. Most of them, you know the faces of. You smiled to greet some and muttered a hi to others.

Renjun spotted you as soon as you came into the living room. ���Y/N!” He grinned, handing you a cup of god knows what. “Jaemin said he invited you but we were all pretty sure you were gonna ghost us. But you didn’t!”

You laughed hesitantly. “Thanks, I guess?”

“Drink up. It’s a cocktail I made myself,” he said proudly, almost forcing the cup into your mouth.

You took a sip, figuring it won’t do any harm but you spat the liquid back to the cup as soon as it touched your tongue. “What the hell did you put in this?”

He shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. I just mixed in everything I could find. Thanks for trying it out though. I’ve been looking for a volunteer for five minutes already.”

You frowned. There were a lot of things you were unsure of at the moment but there is one thing that’s certain: you have weird friends. You were about to complain to Renjun when he plucked the cup from your grip and went on to find another victim, not even bothering to listen when you said you literally spat on the cup.

Mark didn’t seem to be anywhere. The apartment wasn’t that big so if he was here, it would be easy to spot him. Maybe he decided not to show up after knowing you were coming. And honestly, part of you was relieved. As much as you wanted to talk to him, you still didn’t know what to say. 

I’m sorry I broke your heart, but I miss you so much and I did a lot of thinking and maybe we really shouldn’t be labeled as just friends but I don’t know if I love you, is that okay? That’s just stupid. This whole thing is stupid.

You wanted to leave. Parties have never really been your thing. You usually just go because Mark asked you to since he loves interacting with people. But you figured you needed some alcohol in your system, mainly as a distraction, but also to give you a boost of courage just in case. So you made your way to the kitchen, avoiding eye contact with anyone as much as possible.

You stopped in your tracks as you came to the kitchen. The sound of that laugh was all too familiar.

Great, you thought. Mark was there. And Mina was too. But so were Jeno and Jaemin who exchanged looks as soon as their eyes landed on you. They were all laughing about something before you came.

“You’re here!” Jaemin said a little too enthusiastically in a poor attempt to address the sudden increase of tension in the room.

“Hi,” you said, smiling sheepishly, purposefully avoiding Mark’s gaze which you could feel boring into you. “Just gonna get a drink.”

“Help yourself,” Jeno said. Jaemin smirked beside him. 

The refrigerator was just beside Mark. Just great, you thought again. You walked towards it, desperately trying to ignore the four pairs of eyes following your every move.

“Excuse me,” you muttered, still not looking at your best friend.

Mark took a step sideways before opening the fridge for you. You muttered a quick thanks before grabbing the first bottle your hands landed on, not even bothering to check what it was. You really just wanted to get out of there. Maybe the talking to Mark plan was flawed from the beginning because you clearly can’t find the courage in you to face him now.

Beside you, Mark clicked his tongue. He was so close that you could smell his perfume mixed with a bit of alcohol. It made your knees weak. 

He took the bottle from your hand and put it back before grabbing a different one and handing it to you. “The other one had vodka. Vodkas give you a headache, remember?” he said in a slightly annoyed tone.

“Oh.” Your voice sounded small even to your own ears. Not gonna lie, you wanted to cry at that moment. “Thanks.”

You could hear Jaemin snickering behind you but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to care. You turned to everyone and said a quick goodbye before dashing out of the kitchen.

Your heart was beating hard and rapidly and not because you moved too fast. You didn’t know why but it hurt seeing Mark like that, like he was okay, like nothing changed with the two of you. It hurt knowing that even after everything, he still knows you the best.

You wanted to run. You wanted to disappear. But you couldn’t leave without passing by the kitchen. Somehow, you know someone in there would stop you. If not Mark, then definitely Jaemin. But you really wanted to be alone. So you resorted to the next best thing. You whipped your phone out and sent Jaemin a text.

You: thanks for inviting me to this party. now i feel like shit :D

Jaemin: IM SORRY BUT DONT LEAVE YET TF

You:  i need to be alone and i cant leave without passing by the kitchen and seeing mark. so pls let me use your room for a while.

You: i wont do anything i promise. i just need to calm down.

Jaemin: fine but dont lock the door

You: okay thanks

The door to Jaemin’s room was at the other end of the apartment. You made your way through the noisy crowd, slipping from Renjun’s weird gimmicks when he tried to make you a victim once again, before finally reaching the quiet confines of Jaemin’s room.

The thin walls barely blocked the noise but at least there was no one else here. You sat at the edge of the bed and placed the beer bottle on the floor. You forgot you didn’t even manage to open it. So you just stared at your feet, trying to catch your breath even if you didn’t do anything. That heavy feeling on your chest was back again. It was now associated with being in Mark’s presence.

You started counting to ten to calm yourself down before burying your face on your palms, breaking down into sobs as soon as your forehead came in contact with your fingers. “God, why can’t I just…” you cried, “... admit it to myself already?”

You wanted to thrash around in the bed in frustration but you thought Jaemin didn’t deserve such a mess so you settled with getting up and lightly banging your head against the door. It’s a bad habit you do when you feel annoyed or frustrated. Mark has always been reminding you to stop before you hurt yourself.

Mark. Again. You groaned, hitting your head a little harder this time.

Someone knocked on the door making you stop. You took a step back, thinking you just imagined it. But there it was again.

“Someone’s here,” you said, trying to hide the sound of your voice breaking.

“I know. Can I come in?” It was Mark. There was no question. 

Your heart started pounding on your chest once again. You wanted to tell him to go away but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do so. 

He took your silence as a yes. He swung the door slightly and poked his head through the small opening. Your hands immediately flew to your face to hide the fact that you’ve been crying.

“You know, I came in here because I didn’t wanna see you when I pass by the kitchen if I leave then you come here making me look like a clown,” you said, your voice muffled by your hands.

Mark chuckled softly. “Why didn’t you wanna see me?”

You didn’t reply. Your face felt hot, not just because of the tears that just won’t stop falling but also because all the blood has come rushing to your cheeks.

Mark grabbed both your wrists and gently lowered your hands down, trying to see your face, but your head bent down as soon as it wasn’t covered. “Y/N, look at me,” he said, hands still on your wrists.

“No.”

“Are you crying?” The idiot crouched down to have a glimpse of your face making you whine and cover your face again. “Last I checked, I should be the one looking brokenhearted around here.”

“God I hate you,” you mumbled. “You ignored me for nearly four weeks and you come in here just to make fun of me.”

He let out an empty laugh. “Well, you did break my heart so…”

At that, you removed your hands from your face to look at him. You were going to say sorry but Mark had that smug look on his face that made you want to punch him. It was almost convincing if you weren’t so good at reading the real emotions in his eyes. His expression softened upon finally seeing you properly.

He looked away, not being able to hold your gaze either. That just confirmed how hard he was trying to keep up with the exterior he was showing everyone.

“I’m sorry,” you said, voice breaking.

He sighed.  “I told you. It’s okay.”

“But it’s not,” you cried. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t realize how easy it was to misread what we had because let’s face it, we don’t act like ‘just friends.’ I’m sorry because I was too blind to see how you felt even when you weren’t really trying to hide it. I’m sorry because even though I rejected you, I was so selfish that I still wanted to keep you for myself without realizing that you probably needed to be away from me to move on. I’m sorry because…” you swallowed.

Mark was just looking at you, eyebrows slightly raised in anticipation of what you were going to say next. You missed him. You missed that cute face of his. You missed being in his presence. You missed his voice and his laugh and how he loves teasing you even if he probably feels like shit inside. You missed everything. Four weeks have been too long without each other. Four weeks is too long without your best friend. Four weeks is too long without your home. And that’s when you realized…

“... I can’t let you go. And I might be too late, but I’m sorry that I only just realized why.”

“Why?” he asked. 

It was a simple question. Why? Yet it managed to carve out every single feeling you’ve ever felt for this boy. Every little moment he made you laugh. Every small heartbreak you get when he fails to keep his tiny promises. Every single night you ‘accidentally’ fell asleep next to each other. Every ounce of fulfillment you get when you finally convince him to sleep after a long day. Every goodnight. Every good morning. Everything.

“I love you,” you said. It sounded almost like an exhale.

For a moment, Mark didn’t reply. Your head immediately started swarming with unwelcomed thoughts. Maybe you were too late. You almost forgot about Mina who he seems to be having an excellent time with. Maybe he managed to move on within those four weeks. It’s possible, right? You had your chance and you missed it. 

Finally, Mark let out a laugh, his head falling down to look at the floor. “I told you you didn’t have to say it back,” he said, voice soft.

You shook your head. “I’m not saying it because you said it first,” you said. “I realize this might be the worst timing but I just thought you should know you weren’t the only one being stupid enough to fall for their best friend. I was just too dumb to realize that that’s what it was.”

“Why would it be the worst timing?” He frowned.

You felt like crying again. You really wish you had some alcohol in your system right now. Why is this whole confession thing taking so long? “‘Cause you’re dating Mina? Or trying to. I don’t know. I tried not keeping tabs on you because our friends are assholes who wouldn’t stop teasing me. She’s pretty, by the way. You two look good together.”

Mark laughed again. It was raw and real this time, and god, the way your chest tightened in endearment at the sound was so pure. “You thought me and Mina are dating?”

“Aren’t you? I’ve seen you guys together a lot.” Well, once. But you tend to overestimate things.

“No!” He snorted. “Jaemin and I are trying to get her and Jeno together. If anything, she made me realize that we definitely aren’t just friends.”

“Really?” Now you just feel stupid. But what else is new? It’s all you’ve been feeling lately. Come to think of it, Mark and Mina didn’t even come close to how you two act with each other.

“Really,” he said. “Friends don’t stay at each other’s place and cuddle with each other just to fall asleep, Y/N. Besides, I said I love you, didn’t I? Did you really think that’s just gonna go away that quickly?”

“Mark, I can’t even sort my feelings out. How am I supposed to figure out how yours work?” You sighed.

“Fine. Just to be clear, I still love you. Even if you don’t, I love you,” he said, taking both your hands and placing it on his shoulder before putting his on your waist.

“But I do.”

“Say it then.”

“I love you. Even if you’re the dorkiest person I know, I love you.” Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair. You’ve run your hands through his hair so many times before. You wondered why it never crossed your mind that you liked doing it not because his hair is soft but because you were sucker for the domestic feeling of it.

Mark couldn’t stop himself from smiling that he had to bury his face at the crook of your neck. “I’m not used to this, sorry.”

“Me neither,” you laughed.

When he finally composed himself, he pulled away just enough to look at you. All those times you’ve stood this close before does not even compare to how it’s like right now. This is the perfect mix of feeling new but familiar.

“You have no idea how many mornings I fought the urge to kiss you whenever we wake up next to each other,” he said in a soft voice.

“Well, nothing’s stopping you know, is there?” you muttered, eyes fluttering to his lips.

You pulled Mark down by the neck as he pulled you closer to him, your lips finally connecting. The idea of kissing him isn’t new to you. There were so many times before that you’ve found yourself inches away from his face and slamming your lips together wouldn’t have been such a bad idea. But this is the first you actually kissed him yet he felt so familiar that you were almost sure you’ve done this a million times before. His lips were soft against yours that it made you weak in the knees. If he weren’t holding onto you like he was, you probably would’ve crumpled already.

The two of you pulled away, breathless.

“Wow,” he breathed. “That didn’t even come close to how I imagined it would feel like.”

You laughed. “This whole night didn’t come close to how I imagined it would be like. I thought you were gonna keep on ignoring me. And honestly, I wouldn’t know how to cope anymore because I really, really miss you already. So thanks for saving me.”

“Stop making me blush. I don’t know how I can possibly love you more than this.”

You rolled your eyes but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. This was only one of the very few times that the reality went better than your expectations. But then again, maybe you and Mark have always been meant to happen. It was happening even before you realized it was. And now that you finally managed to sort how you both felt, there was no more wasting chances.

“Do I still have to ask you to be my girlfriend?” he asked.

“We’ve literally slept in the same bed so many times. I’d be more surprised if we’re not dating already,” you joked.

Mark grinned. “You’re literally the only one who didn’t realize that until today, but it’s okay, I still love you.”

You laughed. “Wanna go outside and pretend we didn’t make up? I’m 100% sure Jaemin betted on us.”

“I worry how your mind works sometimes, Y/N,” Mark said with a frown before kissing you on the forehead. “But let’s do it.”

You smiled. You’ve said it a lot but you really missed this proximity. You missed being able to hug him whenever you want, and now you can kiss him whenever you want too. You wanted to say you could get used to this, but the thing is… you already are.

[many-gay-magpies]

@honeyseungz @loabivey so that uh. that mini au that you had like a very small rb thread about yesterday (well over a few days ago now that im posting this). well uh. um . actually you know what im just gonna let you read it yourselves

so. heeseung, jay, and sunoo are all brothers. wether its actual brothers or just "brothers" by blood bond or whatever idk. but, regardless, they're brothers. im thinking that like, at first they aren't vampires, theyre just regular dudes yknow? (and just a forewarning, a lot of this isnt gonna be as compliant with the enhaverse theorizing we've done so far, it's just a little brain worm i wanted to play around with, throwing a little bit of enhaverse crumbs in here and there)

but anyway. they're not vampires, im thinking theyre just like... adopted/found family brothers, probably orphans or something. regardless they love each other a lot and its great. personality-wise everything is super different, but just for plot conveniences, heeseung, jay, and sunoo are the yunmeng trio (heeseung as wwx, jay as jc, and sunoo as jyl respectively), and jungwon is lwj.

the three brothers meet jungwon, probably brought together by this Big Fantasy Evil, maybe something involving the vampire queen as a character? idk. there's some big evil shit going down, and the three brothers somehow end up with jungwon and HIS big bro, who im imagining is jake (basically the lan xichen in this situation—very soft, kind, gentle; the vibes are right). both of them are vampires, not that our three orphan bois know that. they get caught up in the danger, and vampire bros jake and jungwon coms to the rescue.

now, a little bit of personality-mapping here: jay is outwardly very loud, fun, temperamental, and sarcastic, generally very much like he is irl; but inside, he's intensely loyal, protective, and loving, with a HUGE soft spot for the people closest to him. sunoo is very sweet, sensitive, and kind—the walking hug of the three brothers, who is certainly not without his bite and wont hesitate to talk back to anyone who hurts them. aggressively and without mercy. also he makes them soup for comfort and is generally best boy. heeseung is very goofy, playful, free-spirited, and bright, but insecure and sensitive underneath it all; generally a loud annoying mess of a boy. pure chaotic neutral and a gremlin if there ever was one. jungwon, on the other hand, is... not. he's nervous, quiet, cautious to a fault and intensely righteous, always standing up for what's right and refusing to waver from his chosen path. very lawful good vibes. he, naturally, is more than a little put off when jay, sunoo, and heeseung's chaotic ass come crashing into he and his brother jake's once-peaceful (ish) lives. and it doesn't help that heeseung is a... huge flirt, and apparently deadset on making jungwon his friend. fuck.

jungwon... doesn't know what to do. and it would all be so much easier if heeseung were dumb or stupid or unattractive or just a total asshole—but he isnt any of those things. he's beautiful, smart, insanely witty with a brain faster than any jungwon's ever seen—he can't help but admire him. but on top of that, he's wreckless as hell, unpredictable, and pushy, and gives jungwon heart attacks way too much for his liking. he doesn't even have a heartbeat. he's fucking dead.

it eventually comes out that jake and jungwon are vampires; the brothers are surprisingly cool with it. not the craziest thing that's happened to them.

the five boys get closer, staying together as they fight their foe (which im becoming increasingly inclined to make the werewolves), and through a series of convoluted events, jungwon learns that heeseung is not only gorgeous, smart, talented, and funny as all get-out, but also sensitive, caring, insecure, and thoughtful... and heeseung, who's only goal had been to break through the nervous and straightforward outer shell of his young dongsaeng, does just that. and jungwon, naturally, starts to fall in love.

somewhere along the line, though, things go wrong—as they were bound to do in an au loosely based off of the untamed. something happens to heeseung; he's fatally wounded after saving jay's life, and disappears, nowhere to be found. his brothers eventually assume the worse; that he's gone forever. but the queen finds him, takes care of him, nurses him back to health. turns him.

when he comes back, nothing's the same. the war is still going, and his brothers thought he was dead—but he isn't. but he's... different. jungwon and jake are quick to realize that he's been turned, how, they dont know—but they talk to him, teach him, try to help him, jungwon especially. of course he does; he's in love. heeseung, of course, is dismissive; doesn't take it seriously. ill be fine, whats so bad about this? or, perhaps, he doesn't let on just how hard he's taking it; fearing vulnerability more than he fears being a vampire.

inevitably, though, heeseung's wrecklessness leads to doom—he lets his bloodlust overtake him, relishes in it, no matter how much jungwon had warned him against it, pleaded with him to take caution. he says it's usefull—says he can help them take out enemies, help them win this war. jungwon warns him that he could end up getting more than he bargained for. heeseung doesn't listen.

heeseung helps them win the war; practically wins it for them. hes happy, bitterly, until he isnt. he's happy, until he sees his brother—sees sunoo. blood-covered, pale-skinned, drained.

no.

heeseung is broken. jay even moreso. jay yells at him; yells and yells and yells and yells. curses him out, tells him he hates him, tells him he's nothing but cruel evil—he doesn't mean it, of course, but no one knows it then, not even him. now he is only angry; so, so angry. heeseung, wrought with guilt and shame and grief, flees—hides himself somewhere secluded, does the closest thing a vampire can possibly do to death, the equivalent of a thousand-year hibernation. none can find him, he's made sure of that. in his guilt and shame and anger he stews, asleep, for hundreds, thousands of years.

after the anger passes, jay is more than anything in mourning—for heeseung as well as for sunoo. he has a realization, that being that, when, inevitably, heeseung comes back, he doesn't want him to be alone: even if he'll have jungwon and jake, it won't be the same as having his brother. so jay pleads, cries, begs for jungwon to turn him—so that they can search for heeseung together, so that when heeseung comes back, he'll have jay waiting for him, too. so, reluctantly, jungwon gives in and turns jay—after which he helps him deal with his newfound immortality and vampiric status—helping him handle his bloodlust and helping him learn how to feed. over the centuries that heeseung is gone, jay, jungwon, and jake grow even closer (j line eyyy), inseparable as they search for heeseung and even outside of that. jungwon and jay are the closest, jay growing a colossal soft spot for the boy and not hesitating to take him under his wing and protect him with all he has (initially, sort of as a replacement for protecting heeseung, but eventually jay's affection for jungwon grows into something all it's own). to be clear, no love triangle bullshit here, only sickening-sweet platonic soulmates jaywon and a jungwon that is still achingly in love with heeseung.

(okay for anyone thats actually watched cql/read mdzs, yes i KNOW lwj and jc did not get along at all and kind of hated each other but. this is my au i do what i want, and if i want to add soft jaywon into the mix then im fucking going to, goddamnit)

OKAY TIME FOR SOME WACKY SIDE-PLOT MADNESS

so. sunghoon. how does he fit into all this? how does he end up being the one to trigger heeseung's "resurrection"? how does heeseung GET resurrected in the first place? well, not to worry, you're about to find out! and i am too because i'm just figuring this out as i go along baybyyyy

sunghoon, im thinking, is a friend of jake's (lets throw some jakehoon in here too bcs why not), either from before everything went to shit and heeseung went and isolated himself, or sometime during the numerous centuries jakewon spent looking for heeseung with jay. either way, sunghoon is this boy who jake is friends with and cares about a lot, and is also maybe kind of in love with. while jaywon spend most of their time looking for heeseung, jake spends his with sunghoon—finding himself often alone, now that his little bother is going off on his own adventures.

in a situation quite similar to heeseung's, sunghoon probably gets fatally injured somehow and is near death, but jake, not wanting him to die, decides to turn him instead. niki is also involved, and it's a sort of package deal, because before meeting jakewon, heeseung, and everyone, they were their own little thing; not unlike jay, heeseung, and sunoo's brother's triad. they were both probably orphans, niki being the much younger one, and as such sunghoon took him under his wing and never looked back. when jake turned sunghoon, niki was basically like "m8 what the fuck" and demanded he be turned too, not wanting his sunghoon-hyung to live on forever while he grew old and died. jake, also having a soft spot for niki, was like "fine alright" and turned him too. so, now their little vampire coven numbered five, and all was (moderately) well.

or not.

the thing was, jake hadn't anticipated how powerful sunghoon would be—there's nothing in life that anyone's found yet that would indicate a person's level of power once turned, so jake had... pretty much no way to see this coming. but, anyway, sunghoon was... really, really powerful. like, insanely powerful. all the abilities vampires were said to have in legends, the likes of which were previously reserved for just legends, he had them; flawless teleportation, mind control, shape-shifting, the whole bit. and on top of that, he was controlled—insanely good at monitoring himself and keeping tabs on his own instincts. one of the most self-sufficient, well-mannered vampires jake had ever seen. it was... frankly insane.

the problem? the queen. this is where she comes in, because she's played a part in all the boys' transformations, albeit indirectly—when jake and jungwon first turned, it was she who turned them. she could sense sunghoon's power, and she wanted it for herself. jake and jungwon had done well at avoiding her, even forgetting about her for a while; but what she wanted, she took, and take she did. it was sunghoon she took: luring him to her in small increments and then all at once, taking control of him, turning him into a mindless puppet. sunghoon had always prided himself in control, and without it, havoc wreaked: bodies dropping left and right, people being killed seemingly at random, their only purpose being to instill fear and paranoia.

now, niki had heard tales, before, from his hyungs but also from regular townspeople to whom the legend had gotten passed down, of heeseung, and how great and terrible he was. heeseung, the townspeoples' folktales said, had been insane, unstoppable: a mad genius far too gone for redemption. niki also knew from his hyungs' fond stories that heeseung, more than evil, was kind and caring; he was loyal, and powerful in his loyalty, and niki thought that if anyone could save his sunghoon-hyung, it was heeseung.

so niki went on a journey. without telling jaywon or anyone else (and thus causing quite the panic), he spent years searching for heeseung, everywhere jaywon had thought to look and everywhere they hadn't, and twice more for good measure. and, by some stroke of luck, either due to his own sheer force of will of something else entirely, niki found him: locked away in an old castle that never quite seemed to stay put, constantly phasing in between realities. it made sense why no one had found him before then—he didn't want to be found. desperately, in fact.

but niki, too, was desperate. he enacted a ritual that was said (by jake, so of course it was to be trusted) to wake any vampire that had gone into hibernation, and, miracles continuing to work for the bitter young boy, it worked. heeseung awoke—startled to find himself staring into the face of a very teary, very angry (visibly) sixteen-year-old.

confusion passed, things and motives were explained, and heeseung (although bitter at having been woken up, and still riddled with enough guilt to last 1500 lifetimes) attempted to patiently tell niki that he had no fucking idea how to help sunghoon whatsoever. niki pretty much said "well you better fucking find a way because you're not going back to sleep now, the world's about to fucking end. also jay and jungwon-hyung have been looking for you for literal centuries, do you know how pissed theyd be if i went out looking for you, found you, then came back empty-handed? really fucking pissed is how much. also sad. did i mention sad?" and heeseung, notoriously weak and also kind of (read: very) in love, is just like "...jungwon? jay?"

so niki brings heeseung back to the others, the return journey taking a long enough time that the two become significantly close to each other, heeseung's long-forgotten big brother instincts (tm) kicking in around the younger vampire. niki has to basically drag heeseung out of the castle by his teeth, because as much as he misses his brother and jungwon, he's still so incredibly guilty, and completely convinced that he isnt worth love or life whatsoever and that jay still hates his guts. and, jungwon... he doesn't even want to think about jungwon. how he failed him. how he let him down. but, niki slowly works through the insecurities, bit by bit: assuring heeseung that, no, even though jay will definitely rip him a new one once he sees him again, he'll also cry and hug him for at least 24 hours because he misses him like hell and heeseungie hyung you have no idea.

they weather a lot together. storms, mental breakdowns, bouts of blood-starvation so severe heeseung thinks he'll lose it again: but they're there for each other. they hunt, talk, keep each other warm, and in it, form an unbreakable bond. niki had heard tales of the legendary lee heeseung, who wiped out entire armies in two seconds flat and comforted his friends when they were sad and annoyed jay to the very ends of the earth: but what he's faced with is a man with more insecurities than niki has hairs on his head—and he has a lot of hairs on his head.

by the time they make it back to the coven's home, heeseung has grown sufficiently attached to the enigma that is niki, and has almost completely but it out of his mind that he's here for his old friends, too. he's only doing this for niki: it's a fact he's comfortable with. so when they reach the front steps he just... freezes.

i have a very clear image of it in my head—jungwon, jay, and jake sense niki's presence, in some weird vampire-y way. it's been around 10, 15 years since he left at this point, so of course they rush out to greet him, ready with scoldings and lashings about how stupid he had been (after, of course, making sure he's unharmed and alright)—but it all dies on their tongues as soon as they see who's with him.

frozen. everything is frozen.

i imagine it's a lot like lulu and artzyy's post. jungwon is the first to move, stepping forward and whimpering out a broken "hyung", and all heeseung's guilt and avoidance is forgotten in favor of cradling jungwon to his chest, holding him close and whispering reassurances into the crown of his head, wonnie, im so sorry, hyung's so sorry; i didn't mean to leave you for so long, i'm here now, its okay. and of course then jay comes in, crying and screaming about how the fuck is it okay, how can it ever be okay, how could you just not mean to leave us alone for 1500 years?! how the fuck do you just expect to waltz back into our lives like nothing ever happened and pretend its all okay?!? and then he hits him, and hurts him, tries to make him feel even an inkling of the hurt he was made to feel for the past fifteen hundred years—but then punching him turns into fisting hands into the back of his shirt and sobbing into his neck and holding him so tight he wouldn't be able to breath if he had the need to and please, please don't leave, why would you leave, you asshole, why did you leave?

so yeah. things happen. reunions are had, tears are shed. some indirect heewon love confessions probably happen later on in the form of very intense devotions of life and self and all that. "walking on the single-log bridge in the dark really isnt so bad" you know the whole shbang. meanwhile jay salty in the background just like "cant you just say you love each other like normal human beings jesus fucking christ"

jayseung's relationship (or the reigniting of it) is, well, rocky. they're both conflicted—jay even more than heeseung. because, the thing is, heeseung killed sunoo. as regretful as he is, that doesn't make it any easier to forget. but he's back, and alive, and in one piece, and he isn't leaving, and jay knows it wasn't really his fault, he wasn't in control—but he killed him. he killed their brother. and it WAS his own stupid fault for losing control in the first place, for not listening to jungwon, so what the hell is jay supposed to think? he flip-flops between being intensely grateful that heeseung is back and okay and finally with them again, and then remembering what he's done, giving him the cold shoulder and not speaking to him for hours on end. and all the while, heeseung is riddled with guilt, and shame, and grief he'd suppressed for far too long; niki's stubbornness combined with jungwon's unwavering support being the only things keeping him from bolting into oblivion all over again. all in all, it's a difficult time—but they get there. eventually.

naturally, they save sunghoon. what else is there to do? they defeat the queen, break her control over their friend—and then jakehoon have their own teary reunion, not unlike heewon's, and sungki have theirs, not unlike jayseung's (although with a... considerable decrease in cursing and conflicted emotions, and a lot more immediate sobbing). they're a mess—sunghoon is traumatized, heeseung is traumatized, jay and niki are traumatized, they're all just fucking traumatized. jayseung will probably take a long time to get back to the way they once were, if it's even possible—there'll always be an empty space there, something gone, something missing, and it's one that can't be filled. jungwon barely lets heeseung out of sight or touch alike, and heeseung isn't much better off. jay's always been the more touchy one out of the three of them; but after years of missing, of longing, there's plenty of time to be made up, and heeseung is just... so, so soft, and warm, and being held by him is the loveliest thing jungwon's ever known.

AND NOW A SUNOO THING, BECAUSE THE IDEA OF ENHA LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER AS OT6 WITH SUNOO JUST FUCKING DEAD DOES. NOT WORK FOR ME

so like. sunoo isn't dead, or he doesn't stay dead, or not the soulless-unmoving kind of dead anyway. you know how necromancy and fierce corpses exist in donghua and shit? well they exist here too because fuck you and also i said so. i made myself sad and now im making it happy again goddamnit.

anyway. after he dies, sunoo gets found by the queen, too, and because she's all-powerful and whatnot she fucking necromances him—figures he'll be useful later. as he is, though, he's basically nothing more than a puppet; like wen ning and song lan were when they were being controlled. his soul isn't... gone exactly, just imprisoned, prevented from being able to come forward and command his body.

so. sunoo is still partially alive, and the boys (jay, jake, jungwon, sunghoon, niki, and whatnot)... don't know that. i imagine that for pretty much the entirety of the centuries that heeseung is gone, sunoo's status as a necromanced fierce corpse goes entirely unknown to them, and it's only after heeseung is brought back by niki that he starts to resurface. i imagine they realize it in a sort of tense, action-filled scenario: the boys have gone to investigate another attack, thinking it's sunghoon, but as it turns out the queen has had TWO undead corpses running around doing her dirty work instead of one. and one of them is sunoo.

heeseung and jay, of course, are stunned. they cant believe it's real; it isn't real, it can't be—and yet.

a lot of angsty plot stuff happens—i dont have the energy or enough shits to give to figure out what. the thing is, the queen only kept sunoo this long and brought him out as a tactic to lure heeseung, make him weaker; and it probably worked. in the midst of both fighting against sunghoon and fighting to SAVE sunghoon, heeseung is bent on saving sunoo as well, and there's probably a lot of very angsty talk wherein there are disagreements about who's life, really, is more important in this situation, and if heeseung is just trying to make up for what he did to sunoo. regardless, heeseung ends up saving sunoo and bringing his soul back to the surface. what he doesn't expect is for sunoo to forgive him—fully and wholeheartedly. and it feels wrong, because no, you should be angry with me, you should hate me and want to hurt me like i hurt you; but sunoo is just... happy. happy that he's back, happy that heeseung is back, happy that they're all together again. and its conflicting, to say the least. even moreso because sunoo isnt stupid—he didnt just act like heeseung was an innocent who did no wrong; he knew he had been wreckless, knew he was at fault, and he forgave him still. loved him still. that was something heeseung... hadn't been prepared for.

like i said in the last part, they save sunghoon; how, im not sure, but they save him, probably with a fair bit of sunoo's help, and they're together again. only the tiny difference here is that sunoo is with them too. sunoo is back, and the gang has yet another undead bestie to teach the ropes of being a vampire to. things are awkward, obviously, especially between the original brother's trio of heeseung, sunoo, and jay; because sunoo is his usual sweet and kind self while jay believes that he should be more angry at heeseung for killing him, heeseung agrees, and jay has some very conflicted feelings about how self-depricating his hyung is being (because like... yeah you killed sunoo and im supposed to hate you but you're not supposed to hate yourself, you idiot, what the fuck?)

(also like. if we're gonna take some more crumbs from cql canon here im gonna go ahead and say sunoo's death was at least somewhat self-sacrificial, even if it was heeseung that ended up causing it in the end)

(i kind of love how jiang cheng-y i made enhaverse jay here to be honest)

(okay this has been in my drafts WAY too long because ive been waiting for some miraculous Other Detail i need to add to pop up in my mind, but honestly i can just add anything else i think of in a reblog afterwards, this bitch just needs to see the light of day)

[what-kinda-fuckery]

Hey so, I was one of the star struck falsettos stans that spent the forty dollars for the webinar, and I took notes (like a weirdo). So I decided I would share my funny moments and updates from the cast here!

- Host: Everyone should be keeping their audio off.

Christian: Oh alright!

Host: nO Christian not you

- Christians in Manhattan and his hair is back and he’s wearing a Superman t-shirt.

- Brandon is with his parents in NJ

- Stephanie and Brandon still love each other

- Brandon: Meat should be cooked just right

- Betsy: Stephanie are you in maple wood?

Stephanie: Well thank you for telling everyone where I am (she’s in NJ)

- Stephanie: Are you fucking kidding meee!!!

- Tracie is in LA, she looks like she’s in Costa Rica and I love her dog.

- Anthony’s VOICE IS LOW EVERYONES FREAKING OUT

they’re all talking about Anthony’s clear skin

- Andy Randy is in LA with a fresh haircut his boyfriend did it and he’s watching too much TV

Andrew: I’m watching this is America

Stephanie: SO GOOD

Andrew: SO GOOD

- Everyone’s having hard days

- Christian is acting out tracies dog’s pathetic bark and everyone’s like WHAT are you doing bc it looks like he’s about to throw up

- BETSY IS A WEEK AWAY FROM HAVINGA WHOLE CHILD

Betsy: What else do you do during a pandemic? Have a baby!

Andrew: Can I toss out another baby name? Celery.

Literally everyone: Goodnight Andrew goodbye!

- Christian is living with a girl (?) and playing board games instead of watching television

HE COOKS NOW EVERYONES PROUD OF HIM

Christian: yesterday I made pork filet en croute

Stephanie: I MADE PORK WITH SAGE AND APPLES ON WEDNESDAY

Stephanie: In mean girls they wear pink on wednesdays. In falsettos they make pork.

- I can’t get over Anthony’s voice

Again everyone returning to his literally perfect skin

- Stephanie: When watching four jews in a room in the beginning who’s in China?? I know the answer I just want to hear someone say it.

Andrew, with a thick accent: It was Bryna, in China, with a torn miniscus

- Christian: Did anything interesting make it on to the telecast between me and you? Andrew? Actually I dont remember I need to do my research.

Andrew: There’s been some strange comments about Christian and I- (AT THIS POINT IM WHEEZING)

HE MENTIONED THE TONY BONY

HE SAID IT WASNT A THING

HE DIDNT HAVE ONE

Andrew: No that’s not a thing that happened

Brandon: Andrew i want you to know that it’s okay if it was. It’s a safe space just the seven of us. (Lol)

- Bill Finn would take two steps into the room: “WROONG”

Stephanie: he wanted me to sing the end of I’m breaking down up the octave and I said #notmytrina

Brandon: #NOTMYTRINA

- Tracie what did you do during act 1

Tracie: Betsy and I sat in that dressing room for like an hour and a half

Andrew: You SANG the WHOLE SHOW TRACIE

- Betsy watched parts of the first act to feel like she was there

- Betsy sprained both her ankles at one point during the run and was a trooper anyways

Brandon reenacting Betsy limping during look look look look

Everyone dies laughing

Christians LAUGH makes me SO HAPPY

- Betsys screen is frozen like this: 🤨

Andrew: What if she went into labor??? (This is a common thread throughout the zoom)

- Anthony: I’m getting a lot of glitching so Stephanie is just like “HUH UH UH UH”

- Betsy comes back and everyone is like

YOU GUYS ITS COMING!!!

- They bought Andrew an ice cream for his birthday from the vending machine at rehearsal

- Andrew: The Hawaii crop top

Betsy: I would give anything to have that

- Tracie: it was very hard. Very precise bringing the blocks together

Brandon: Trying to be like oh my god we’re going to a funeral

Andrew: MY DEATH IT WAS MY DEATH

- fan question: What did the blocks weigh?

Stephanie: They were like thick yoga blocks. Not heavy but awkward shaped

Andrew: Significantly heavier when Anthony sat on them

Anthony: I just realized how much I got thrown around

Stephanie: Anthony were you proud of yourself? #proudofyou

Anthony: The one moment I was cringing was father and son

Christian: HERE WE GO *SLAPS TABLE*

Betsy: Anthony’s like BLAH BLAH BLAH blah my line BLAH BLAH BLAH my line BLAH BLAH

Christian: I LEAVE THE PAUSE IF YOU CANT GET IN THATS ON YOU

Anthony: I was blinking in that number like constantly

Christian: THE WHOLE THING LIKE A SALAMANDER

Oh Anthony.

- Andrew: I HAVE A STORY ABOUT CHRISTIAN BORLE. Tech for what more can i say. He was laying on me. We were shirtless in underpants under the blankets.

Christian: SLOWER

Andrew: he leaned over; He sniffed his armpit and said “I hope you like France”

EVERYONE DIES LAUGHING INCLUDING ME

Christian: i haven’t worn deodorant in 10 years true story

- Christian: i seem to remember holding our pillows and blankets pretending like we were partying on fyre island and Andrew said:

Andrew: WHATS YOUR NAME???

Christian: No no it was something like:

WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN??

Andrew: WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN???

Betsy: James lupine I feel like we’re ruining this show

- Andrew: The shenanigans were real but so was the sadness

Stephanie: We’re real and we’re funny what you gonna do

- Andrew talking about how hard the show was to do: Finding some liberty, It’s a hard world to live in all the time. It was a hard time especially for Christian. I would sometimes go home and cry for no reason

Brandon: Building up emotion with nowhere to put it

Betsy: then Lesbians come in and provide all the levity

Stephanie: Although Dr. Charlotte brings in horrible news

Tracie: Everything’s beautiful at what more can i say and I’m like not so fast

- Tracie always had a funny thing to say

- Who broke character the most on stage?

Anthony Stephanie and Christian

Anthony: it was when I said “I don’t want a bar mitzvah” and I spit in your face a lot and you went like *puts arms up* and someone at stage door was like very condescending like it’s not professional

Christian: Oh my bad we’re people sorry

- Stephanie wrote a line in the show “YOU HAVE PAINTINGS OF DICKS”

- James wanted her to cut off her finger during I’m breaking down

And turn around with a bandaged bloody finger

- Betsy’s nose bleeding during something bad is happening

And Tracie was like something BAD IS HAPPENING

Tracie: Christians throwing up right now

Betsy: Bloody Kleenex up the nose THE SHOW MUST GO ON

- Fan question: Stephanie how do you belt with a banana in your mouth

Christian: Practice practice practice

Stephanie: just shove it in your cheek. But Really that wasn’t supposed to happen

Anthony’s nickname in the rehearsal room was little bananas because he had to gather up all the pieces of stuff after Stephanie shoved the table over with her rear. Sometimes he didn’t have enough time to put it somewhere so he would just put the pieces of banana in his mouth and that’s where it came from

That’s why

- Andrew: Stephanie your glasses are very chic

Stephanie: Oh my gosh thank you *shocked*

- Betsy: Bill was like I’d rather DIE than change lyrics for the pbs special

FLaT aS a LaKe

- Cue everyone accidentally talking over each other and saying what at each other for 30 seconds

Christian: what? what? what?

Who is it?

What’s going on?

- If you could play anyone else in the show who would it be

Anthony said Mendel

Tracie said Mendel

Brandon said Trina

Andrew said marvin

Betsy said whizzer

Stephanie said Mendel

And I honestly couldn’t hear if Christian said anything whoops

- Brandon: If someone could at some point explain to me the Mendel eats dirt meme? People have been Asking me if Mendel eats dirt? I don’t think it’s about Trina Trina is not the dirt. I was overwhelmed. Can someone in the Q&A explain this? *A few seconds later* oh It was from a meme generator?

Christian: Greaat.

Brandon: It’s a fan fiction about Mendel eating dirt and getting aroused by it

Everyone: WHAT

- They still get fan art

Someone recreated the whole soundtrack 8bit and also with KAZOOS

- Brandon: CONGRATS CHRISTIAN ON LULOS WIN FOR LITTLE SHOP. If you haven’t seen Christian in little shop it’s revelatory I’m not just blowing smoke up your ass I have not laughed that hard in a while at the theatre

- Christian talking about little shop

Christian has a 12 inch Batman toy in his dressing room and he misses it

- Ticket prices were getting out of control before corona everyones hoping this will make a difference

Brandon and everyone think it should get more accessible

- Brandon: Hear hear I need a refill

- Stephanie: Your hair looks incredible Brandon (it did)

Christian: She’s been waiting to talk about it for 53 minutes

- Andrew: Well Betsy what I’m wondering is have you crowned yet??

Proceed everyone dying

Brandon, taking a picture of the screen: This moment will go down in history as When Betsy was asked if she was crowning

- Everyone mimicking zoom freezing by starting a sentence and freezing halfway through

- Christian: What new Steven sondheim musical are you excited about Anthony *devilish grin*

Anthony having no idea what Christian is talking about

Christian: Come on Anthony you know the answer. Ugh. The minds of the young. You’re smoking pot now aren’t you??

Christian: We have a lot of fun

- Andrew: I’m trying to get people to pay attention to me

- Christians pretending to be frozen

Cue a lot of yelling: Stephanie BRANDON STEPHANIE

NO CHRISTIAN

Everyone accusing each other of being frozen

NO YOURE FROZEN

- Andrew: Let’s all act like we’re frozen

Steph: I see Andrew acting like hes frozen

Betsy: Watching you do that is killing me

- Listening to the cast recording for the first time together

Stephanie: Why was I the a-hole that couldn’t be there???

Christian: That’s a question only you can answer

- Betsys husband came in everyones like BETSY LOOK OUT

Christian: that scared the shit out of me

- What is marvins last name and what was his line of work

Christian: we definitely said it at some point right? (They didnt) but he was in advertising. What was the last name? Gardens? O’Malley?

- Andrew: Betsys gone oh no

Betsy: I’m right here!!!

Andrew: She’s giving birth (again)

Stephanie: Betsy Wolfe is a ceiling

- Brandon: Welcome back Anthony. You’re here now.

Anthony singing merrily we roll along over Betsy trying to tell a story

Christian: STOP SMOKING POT IN YOUR BEDROOM ANTHONY

- Betsy: Steve (Steven Sondheim) comes to the door I call him steve

Into the woods is the reason Betsy is in theatre

- Betsy: Andrew was nervous singing at the tonys for Book of Mormon and he got dry mouth he sang like 😬I BELIEVE and he licked his lips so much during the song.

Brandon: Did you have a boner then too?

Andrew: GUYS DONT BE DICKS

Stephanie: It’ll be like dry mouth, boner

Andrew: BETSY YOU FUCKIN BITCH ITS ACTUALLY NOT THAT BAD

Stephanie: Bets maybe we should wrap it up

- Brandon sings MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

EVERYONE TELLING HIM TO STOP SINGING I took a video it was beautiful might post that later

- “Tracie Thomas from Lent!”

Tracie having stage fright

Tracie: Billy porter said “oh child we all forget the words” and walked away

- Anthony said WHO SHAT THE BED in four jews once

Anthony: That’s my contribution. Steph got her line, I got who shat the bed

- Steph: We lost andrew oh no

Christian: Um, we lost andrew ten minutes ago. Yeah when Brandon started singing

- Then Betsy sang a song by Bill Finn beautiful

- Steph: Wear your masks and eat pork on wednesdays

That was it!! I hope you enjoyed and people who were there if I got anything wrong that’s my human error it was hard to note everything I wanted to. Smooches! Byee

[imaginethathaikyuu]

i'm genuinely curious, what's your opinion on folklore? like i keep seeing some songs mentioned in the spotify wrapped asks but like i wanna hear you talk about it more 👉👈 what's your favorite song in the album?

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you shouldnt have asked this this was a mistake because now im gonna have to write a five thousand word essay on the grammy nominated album and masterpiece, folklore 

(if you dont like taylor swift just do us both a favor and Scroll On By thnx!) 

okay. look. ive been a taylor stan since i was 11 years old. in fifth grade i got her first two albums for christmas and i havent looked back since. so me and MS SWIFT have been around the BLOCK 

and i like a lot of people genuinely think that folklore is her greatest album to date. it blows her other albums out of the water. there are only a handful of her other songs that compare to anything on folklore, (all too well, dear john....last kiss maybe, out of the woods perhaps) and that says far more about folklore than it does about her previous music. because her previous albums are still fantastic (sans reputation. I Said What I Said.) 

the maturity, storytelling, world building of folklore is unmatched. she so easily crafts these stories and then puts you right into the world of the characters she’s singing about, it’s like you’re right there on the sidelines witnessing it all, and that’s fucking hard to do. i would know, i write stories, and taylor swift tells her tales in a way that i’m genuinely envious of

my biggest problem with her previous albums is that....how do i say this.......  like, with every album, there were a few songs on it that were only there to serve as singles to get radio play. and, dont get me wrong, taylor is very good at making songs for the radio and getting those plays, but nothing is more annoying than when you’re listening to 1989 and you just know shake it off is coming and are preparing yourself to skip it. the only thing more annoying than that is having to skip i knew you were trouble, 22, and we are never ever getting back together when i’m listening to red. those songs don’t fit. those songs aren’t very good in comparison to the rest of the albums they’re on. i never want to hear those songs unless i’m in the car and the local radio station plays them. 

my point is: folklore doesnt have that. there isn’t a me! or a look what you made me do. folklore is completely and only folklore. there are no songs that take you out of the whimsical mystical intimate world she’s built. there’s no cheesy single she put on the album just to generate sales. it’s just the stories she wanted to tell. that’s it. 

and i think people will be talking about folklore for a long time. i know i will. I Will Never Shut Up About Folklore, because it’s a goddamn masterpiece, and i love it in its entirety. i genuinely do not know how taylor is going to follow it up. it is too good for anything to be better than. (which, for the record, i say this about every album she puts out, but i mean it this time)

my favorite songs on the album are mirrorball, august, seven, betty, and hoax. i also really love exile, my tears ricochet, and the lakes. i didnt really like epiphany at first but i like it a lot now. the last great american dynasty is just fine to me, like i don’t love it as much as everyone else seems to, i think its a great song but i dont listen to it often. my least favorite is peace, im not sure why but i just don’t like it very much, and its the only one i will sometimes skip. if you want some song recs from folklore (and if you for some reason dont want to listen to the entire album) i’d recommend listening to tracks 4-8, then betty, then hoax, then the lakes. but like just listen to The Whole Thing

i have an entire thread on twitter of me reacting to the album on my first listen that i honestly think is pretty funny if i do say so myself and most of those reactions stand true to this day. the way i shit myself when i heard the first lyric of the album is “i’m doing good im on some new shit” ........miss swift........ she really is something else........

[skswriting]

(dis)connected

Rating: T for suggestive content Pairing: Jeongguk/You Words: 12,359 Summary:  You don’t know if you and Jeongguk will join the group of people who have married one of their connect partners, but what you have right now is fun and carefree.  Yeah, you like him, and it seems like Jeongguk likes you, but the two of you have never physically met up, and neither of you have brought it up.  You’ve thought about it, but you always chicken out at the last moment, and he’s never even hinted at it, so. But you’re not worried about it today.  You just want Jeongguk to come back.  Who could possibly be at the door? AN: okay so i want to point out to everyone IMMEDIATELY that i originally had a different idea on how i wanted this to go (i.e. cheating which is not something i like writing about/reading) and decided that because i DONT like that i wanted to change the plot HOWEVER... because of this some of the dialogue i think in the beginning kind of still alludes to this?  i think i caught most of it, but god knows im shit at rereading my stuff so im sure i missed something.  i also think i really started lacking towards the end and for that, i apologize, but i still hope you all enjoy it! Warnings: there’s the beginning of a strip tease at the beginning, and of course when i write there’s always cussing, there’s also some pretty severe miscommunication (in my opinion, y/n is definitely an idiot but we all have our dumb bitch moments), there’s a small scene about an almost panic attack, and there’s mentions of a car accident that leads to a hospital stay but i don’t mention too much about the implications of that if things like that make you uncomfortable.  i think that’s it

You sigh as you flop down on your bed, feet aching and back sore.  It’s been a long week and you just want to relax, letting your body melt into the mattress.  The city is still sounding out around you, horns honking and the occasional voice drifting up to the window you left open to let as much natural air as you can in.  Gumdrop is staring out the screen, chittering at the pigeons roosting on your fire escape.

The loud vibrating of your phone causes you to groan as you kick your heels off, reaching into your purse to grab it.  You know who it is without looking at it and while you’re excited to talk to him, you’re still exhausted.

“Hi baby,” Jeongguk greets softly when you answer, the sound transmitting through your earpiece clearly.

You can’t stop the slow exhale you let out, melting even more at his voice, “Hi, Gguk-ah.”

“Oh no, you sound tired.  Long day?” Jeongguk asks and you can almost picture him biting his nails.

“Yeah,” you say simply and he hums in understanding.

“We don’t have to connect if you don’t want to, we can just talk like this: old fashioned,” he teases and you laugh a little, slowly getting to your feet.

“No, I want to, I miss you,” you say honestly and you can hear the smile on his face, “Let me get changed and I’ll login.”

“Wait,” he hurries to stop you, just as you’re reaching for the hem of your blouse, “Can I… can I watch?”

You can’t stop the surprised laugh you let out, “Gguk-ah, that’s naughty,” you say, even as you reach for your eye inserts, located right next to your pleasure-morph (i.e., dildo).  Priorities.

Jeongguk sounds unashamed as he coos at you, “I can’t help it that you’re so pretty.  I’m logged in.  Figured we could spend some time in my room today?  Unless you wanna stay at yours, I’m good with either.”

“No, yours is good, I like the way it smells,” you admit, wincing at the small sting of the inserts as you blink them in, getting comfortable.

Your vision slowly fades as the nanotech slowly works its way into your system, gradually bringing up the virtual login screen.  You hum as you see Jeongguk has sent you an invite and you click it, the bits of Jeongguk’s room and Jeongguk himself starting to pixelate in.  You can’t help but reach out and touch him, even if the nanos haven’t yet reached your fingers so you can’t yet feel him yet.  But he comes to you, little by little, until his warm skin is right under your fingertips, his smiling mouth meeting yours as he kisses you softly.  Lovingly.

“Hi baby,” he says again, a mere murmur really, pulling you close to him as he breathes you in.

Just like that all the exhaustion in your body leaves you as you slump into Jeongguk’s strong embrace, nuzzling against his neck as you hug him back.

“Hi Gguk-ah,” you whisper, head spinning from moving too quickly after logging in.

He’s quiet for a moment, humming a soft tune as he pets at your hair, rocking the two of you from side to side.  He holds you until you pull back first, kissing your forehead and then your mouth again, hand sliding down to grip the nape of your neck.

When he lets you step back, his grin turns into a pout as his eyes slide down your form, landing on your feet.

“You already took your heels off,” he whines, tugging childishly at your shirt, “you started without me.”

You cackle as you bat his hand away, letting your hair out of your ponytail and immediately snapping his attention back to your face.

“I didn’t think I was going to have an audience,” you chide and he huffs, crossing his arms as he plops down on his bed.

“You know I love watching you get undressed.  It’s like… watching a present unwrap itself in front of me.”

You roll your eyes, popping the first button of your blouse.  Jeongguk licks his lips at the hint of breast he sees and you shake your head at him.

“As many times as you’ve seen me naked, you still act like this,” you sigh out, like it’s an inconvenience, even going so far as cocking your hip out, “Honestly, Jeongguk.”

“Baby,” he whines, leaning back on his hands, “leave me alone.  It’s not my fault you’re the hottest person I’ve ever seen.  Get naked!”

You shake your head good naturedly, moving your hands back to your chest when he chimes in, “Wait!  I wanna guess what you’re wearing underneath.”

“It’s nothing special,” you furrow your eyebrows, popping another button just to be contrite.

“Shut up, it’s always spec- oh shit, I see black.  Oh God, is it the lacy one?  Or the one with the sheer strip on the cups and the little jewel in the center?  Fuck, that’s a good one,” he groans and you laugh when you see his cock already starting to get hard, chubbing up in his sweats, “Are you wearing matching panties today?  I think I’d lose my mind.”

“Why don’t we find out?” you purr, a lick of arousal shooting through you when you see him shiver at your tone.  You pop another button.

“Baby,” he gasps, hand flying down to his cock, cupping it in his hand, “Don’t tease.”

“I’m not teasing,” you pout, popping another button.  You have two left, but the way you’re holding your shirt together won’t let him see under it yet.

He bites his lip, squeezing his hand around his cock as you undo the last two.  You turn around, giving him a look when he whines softly, the look softening into something coy as you let the blouse slip down your shoulders until it flutters to the floor, leaving you in your bra and skirt.

“Lemme see,” he practically begs.

You hum as you pretend to consider it, tapping a finger against your chin as Jeongguk gets to his feet, approaching you slowly.  He kisses the top of your head and then your temple, eyes closed as he trails kisses down your neck, biting at your shoulder.  His hands come up to cup your tits and you finally moan, his fingers tweaking your nipples through the material.

“It’s thin,” he comments, eyes still closed, sucking a mark into the dip of your collarbone, “It has to be the sheer one.”

He groans when he opens his eyes and sees he’s right, kneading your tits faster as you shake in his hold.

“Feels good Ggukkie,” you pant, reaching up to thread a hand in his hair.

“Keep going,” his voice has dropped a little, hands insistent as they roam over your tits, fingers dipping into the cups to roll your nipples between them directly.

“Any guesses on panties?” you’re breathless, Jeongguk’s eyes gazing down the slope of your breasts and stomach to the way your other hand is teasing the waistband of your skirt.

“Not matching,” he says, almost immediately, “Or you wouldn’t be asking.”

“I wouldn’t?” you grin, pressing your ass back into his cock.

“No,” he sounds confident, as he reaches up to your back and undoes your bra, running reverent fingers down your arms to help you take it off.  The full heat of his hands on your sensitive tits has your back arching, “Is it the green pair with the lacy back and little bow on the front?  The pair that make me want to eat your ass like a sundae?”

You giggle, turning your head to nose under his jaw, “Let’s see.  Undo the zipper.”

He breathes out heavily against your wet skin and causes goosebumps to scatter.  He hisses when his own hand brushes his cock in search of your zipper, but he finally manages to tug it down, and the sound is almost deafening.  You have a hold of the skirt still so it doesn’t fall immediately, even though it’s tight enough that that wouldn’t be an issue.  But you know Jeongguk is a dirty cheater and would try and shove it down.

Jeongguk makes a confused sound as you step away from him but you smile to yourself, glancing at him over your shoulder as you shimmy your hips, the fabric shifting down until-

“Red,” he breathes out, mouth dropping open as he gapes at you.

He groans as you continue to shimmy your hips and push the skirt down at the same time, letting the material pool around your feet as he gets a great look at your ass.  Because you’re wearing a thong.

“You’re so hot,” he says, almost to himself, “God, look at you, like a fuckin’ wet dream.”

Despite yourself, you blush.

“This isn’t what I had planned, but c’mere,” he commands and you listen, turning around and padding your way to him.

His arms slide around your waist and turns you smoothly at the same time, crowding against you until you fall onto his bed with him on top of you.  You whimper when the hard planes of his body press entirely into yours and your legs fall open to let him settle more comfortably between them, cock rocking up against your leaking pussy.

“Wanna fuck you,” he groans, attaching his mouth to the side of your neck, “Is that okay?  Are you okay with that?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant, “Want you to fuck me so hard I forget my own name.”

Jeongguk growls, reaching down to tug your panties to the side as he reaches into his sweats to carelessly pull his cock through, when a knock sounds out.  You both stop, Jeongguk pushing himself up to look confusedly at the door.

“Is that- is that logged in or real life?” you pant, trying to catch your breath and bearings from the 180 change in mood.

“Real life I think but… I wasn’t expecting anyone,” his face shines with sincerity and apology as he turns back to you, ‘Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

You pout, sliding a hand down your stomach and thumbing your clit, eyelashes fluttering, “Hurry up or I’ll start without you.”

He responds with a panicked look and a hurried kiss, before he reaches quickly for his eyes as another knock comes, “This could not have been worse timing!”

You giggle as he unlinks, his nanotech disappearing in a blink.  Contrary to your teasing, you don’t play with yourself.  You do settle yourself more comfortably in his bed, burrowing into his pillows as you kick his blankets to the end of the bed so your skin is pressed against the cool material of his sheets.

This… thing… with Jeongguk isn’t weird so much as it was unexpected.  Connecting by all means isn’t weird and is in fact revolutionary, allowing people to meet up and hook up (“connect”) through a sort of VR world, where only consensual sex is allowed and there’s no worry about pregnancy or diseases.  A lot of people even tend to meet their spouses through connecting now.  The sex toys are fantastic and you’ve clocked many hours with your pleasure-morph with it set to Jeongguk’s specifications (he’s told you with no discretion that he doesn’t think he’d survive without his pleasure-morph of your own sweet cunt.  His choice of words, not yours.)

You don’t know if you and Jeongguk will join the group of people who have married one of their connect partners, but what you have right now is fun and carefree.  Yeah, you like him, and it seems like Jeongguk likes you, but the two of you have never physically met up, and neither of you have brought it up.  You’ve thought about it, but you always chicken out at the last moment, and he’s never even hinted at it, so.

But you’re not worried about it today.  You just want Jeongguk to come back.  Who could possibly be at the door?

You don’t get your answer because Jeongguk’s room disconnects, the bed sinking down and disappearing beneath you. You blink at nothing, the login screen flashing in front of you as you try to gather your bearings.  You hesitate in disconnecting, confused as to what happened.  Maybe Jeongguk accidentally disconnected in his haste to get back to you?  But, after a minute of hovering in nothing, a little ball sinks in your stomach, and you disconnect yourself, letting the nanotech draw back into your eye inserts before you remove them.

You’re laying on your bed, still dressed, Gumdrop still yelling at the pigeons on your fire escape.  The city is still moving down below and it’s disorienting to you, for some reason.  You keep expecting a message from Jeongguk, as you disrobe and shower and make dinner and wash your face and get ready for bed and-

Nothing comes in.  You settle into bed, feeling quite pathetic as you check your phone in an almost obsessed fashion, but there’s nothing.  Gumdrop curls up near your face and you appreciate her awareness, petting through her fur to hear her sweet purrs.  The little ball has only grown.

-

There’s nothing in the morning, or in the afternoon, or even for the next three days.  You feel the worst the first day, still riding the high of the sudden disconnection, and by the third day you’re just… sad.  Being ghosted by Jeongguk was not a thought you had ever entertained.  You figured if you and Jeongguk ever stopped disconnecting it would be because either of you met someone or just got bored.  But just to be dropped like this cuts more than you thought it would.

As you’re playing with a laser pointer with Gumdrop, your phone chirps.  You’ve resigned yourself to not hearing from Jeongguk and it’s probably just Seokjin sending you pictures of his dinner again, so you’re not eager to get up and check it when Gumdrop is having the time of her life.

You remember to look at your messages as you plug your phone in for the night, and it’s like someone kicked you in the stomach when Jeongguk’s name pops up.

from: ggukkie ♡

Please just give me time, baby, please.

You sit there for a moment as Gumdrop claims the middle of your bed, purring as she makes herself comfortable because honestly, what the fuck does that mean?

-

“Yeah fuck him,” Seokjin says easily the next day when the two of you are meeting for lunch.

“Seokjin,” you chide and he shoots you an unimpressed look from over the top of his rice bowl.

“No, fuck him,” he says a little more vehemently, “First the unexplained disconnection, which, by the way, can physically make a person sick, and then he ghosts you, the most cowardly thing you can do, and then he sends you that vague ass text?  What the fuck does that even mean?  Give him time?  For what?  To get his foot out of his ass?”

His voice has started raising in his anger and even though it’s slightly embarrassing, as people throw him confused looks, it’s completely overshadowed by the appreciation you feel for him.  Seokjin has always been fiercely protective of you and had actually beat the fuck out of one of your ex-boyfriends when he started becoming abusive.

“I know,” you sigh, glancing down at your own food and realizing you’re not that hungry, “I just… I just want to know why.”

“Closure,” he nods, sagely, before loudly slurping up some noodles.

You nod, deciding you at least want one of his dumplings.  Seokjin must realize how terrible this whole thing has made you feel, because he doesn’t even try to stop you, and it makes you smile almost sadly.

-

from: ggukkie ♡

I understand you’re upset, but please just let me explain.

It’s been about a week since his last text and a week ago, during lunch with Seokjin you would have jumped at the chance to let Jeongguk explain.  Now though, you’re mad, and you don’t want to hear it.  You’re too old for childish games, especially with someone you weren’t even officially dating, and you’ve decided to let it go.  You swipe his message away, deciding that instead of connecting you’re going to go out to an old fashion bar.  You’re not planning on hooking up with anyone, because you’ve stopped taking your birth control since it started really messing with your hormones, but you want to enjoy the vibes.

You text Seokjin asking if he wants to meet you, but he apologizes and tells you he already made plans with his family.  He sends you an encouraging selfie and you laugh, but you make it your lock screen because it’s a really good picture of him.

The bar is about half an hour from your apartment and it’s surprisingly packed considering the popularity of connecting.  But you guess sometimes you can’t beat face to face interactions.  A few people give you once overs as you walk in and you give them polite smiles in return, but now that you’re here you just want a drink.

The bartender serves you your drink quickly and you smile at him as you turn in your seat, surveying the space.  A lot of people are walking around, taking advantage of the darts and pool tables set up, laughing and drinking with their friends.  It’s nice to see.  While you’re an advocate for connecting, even with your unsavory disconnection with Jeongguk, it still lacks intimacy.  You and Jeongguk have connected all over the world, logging into a beautiful hotel in Paris and a quaint little house in the suburbs of Japan and a skyrise apartment in New York, went snorkeling in the Bahamas and hiked to Machu Picchu and went on a cruise to Alaska, all in the time you connected.

But none of it was real.  You sigh heavily as you take another drink while the bartender passes by and catches it.

“Rough day?” he asks, stopping in front of you with a few bottles in his arms.

“No, it’s just been… yeah, a rough day,” you end up going with, followed by a small self-deprecating laugh.

“Do you want something else to drink?  Something a little stronger?” he asks, nodding at your almost empty glass.

“No, same thing, please.  I’m just looking to relax, not get shit-faced.  I really don’t want to deal with a hangover,” you grimace and he laughs, throwing his head back and almost losing his balance.  You worry about him for a second, but he quickly straightens himself, turning an almost blinding eye smile on you.

“College kids come in here and blow through a hundred dollars just in liquor and it makes me not miss my partying days.  Let me stock these and I’ll get you a refill.”

He’s cute.  You’re not interested, in the slightest, but you have eyes and you know he’s cute.  He throws you a quick wink and hustles off, talking to someone just down the bar.  You nurse the last bit of your drink, enjoying the music and chattering behind you, letting yourself sink into the atmosphere.

“Jeon Jeongguk!”

You pause for a moment, glass raised halfway to your mouth.  No way.  There’s no way life works like that; you’re not so lucky to get your serendipitous moment.  You turn to look at the woman who’s just stormed into the bar, mouth twisted into a fierce scowl.  You try not to be conspicuous and only follow her with her eyes, trying to see where she’s headed.  It has to be a different Jeon Jeongguk, it just has to be-

Your breath catches when you see him.  It is him.  Jeon Jeongguk.  Your connecting partner, who ghosted you almost two weeks ago, and who looks super unhappy sitting in a booth by himself.  He looks even unhappier to see the woman, his face morphing to match her scowl.

Your breathing has quickened as you watch them, the woman sliding into the booth across from him and flinging her hands around.  How did you not see him when you walked in?  You may have been slightly distracted, in your night of slight grieving, but you know you gave the place a once over when you arrived.  You’ve spent two weeks mourning the lack of Jeongguk’s presence and then cursing his existence.  How could you have missed him?

You have to leave.  You have to go right now, before he somehow sees you.  You don’t want to talk to him, you absolutely cannot talk to him.  If there’s one thing you know about yourself, it’s that Jeongguk’s doe eyes would make you commit unfathomable sins.  If he looks at you now, in this moment in time, in this place, you’ll cave.

You have to go.  You have to leave-

You stand hastily; too hastily.  The man sitting beside you, who’s been pounding back beers like it was his last day, is standing too and you run right into him, sending the both of you tottering.

“Sorry!” you gasp, trying to straighten him and yourself as you realize how loud your collision had been, “I’m so sorry!  I was just trying-”

The guy is grumbling at you, eyes bloodshot as he glares at you, and the hair on the back of your neck is standing up.  Not at the look the guy is giving you, you could care less about him, but because you hear angry shuffling behind you.  The voices are whispering rapid fire at each other and you think you can hear what sounds like hands gripping at clothes and quick footsteps and-

“Y/N…?” his voice sounds exactly the same as you remember.

Your eyes squeeze shut, heart slamming into your ribcage.  You feel bile rise to your throat as your fight or flight instincts kick in, and you want so badly to run, to not look at him and pretend this isn’t happening.  You’re so close to doing it, to running out of the bar and away from him, but you can hear a little voice in the back of your head that sounds suspiciously like Seokjin.  “Fuck him.”  The more you think about it, the more you agree: fuck him.

You turn slowly, to see Jeongguk standing just a few feet behind you, eyes impossibly wide and fingers twisting the hem of his shirt.  He’s dressed casually, more casually than you, and you’re not sure if it’s a trick of the light, but his cheeks look a little sunken in.  The woman who had charged in after him is standing behind him, fuming, physical steam almost coming out of her ears as she tries to get his attention.

“Jeongguk,” you say, your tone much more cool than you feel.

Jeongguk must be able to tell because his eyes bounce around your form, seemingly unable to figure out where it’s safe to look, “How, um… how have you been?”

“Jeongguk,” the woman behind him hisses, reaching out to grab at his arm, and he roughly shrugs her off, sending her a fiery glare over his shoulder.

“I’ve been better,” you say, a tad cold, “I would ask how you’re doing, but I don’t honestly care.”

He flinches and immediately grows desperate, reaching out towards you, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Y/N baby, please, just let me explain-”

You smack his hand away from you and the hurt on his face is so palpable it manifests in your own chest, “I don’t want to hear it, actually.  I’m over it.”

You’re aware that the three of you are starting to cause a scene, the woman still trying to get Jeongguk’s attention and Jeongguk resolutely ignoring her, entirely focused on you.  You’re getting a bit embarrassed by all the attention, but you realize this is something you need.  Seokjin had said it best: closure.

“I don’t blame you, I don’t!  But please, baby, just-”

“Stop calling me that!” you snap, “You - you lost that right, Jeongguk.  Do you know how foolish I felt?  After we disconnected?  Three days, Jeongguk, wondering and worrying if you were okay, and when you do text back it’s to ask for time?  Time for what?”

You run a quick hand through your hair, huffing out a laugh when you pathetically feel tears spring to your eyes, “I deserved better.  I understand we were just connecting, or whatever-”

“No!” Jeongguk lurches towards you, a seemingly mindless reaction because he seems surprised by it, but recovers quickly, “Don’t say that, please.  It was more than connecting for me, you have to believe me!”

The woman behind him lets out an indignant huff, apparently tired of being ignored and watching whatever is happening between you, “That’s enough Jeongguk, honestly.  Do you hear how pathetic you’re being right now?  Let’s just go home and talk about us and-” she reaches for him, again, but Jeongguk bodily dodges her hand.

“Ina, take a fucking hint!” he growls, turning on his heel to stare her down.  Ina rears back, eyes widening in shock at the vicious tone he’s taken with her, “What part of “we’re not getting back together” do you not understand?”

Her face clouds over and she snarls out, “How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?!”

Jeongguk’s laughs, but there’s absolutely no humor in it, “Sorry?  You cheated on me!  You can’t say sorry for that!”

“Hey!”

The handsome bartender from earlier is leaning threateningly over the bar counter, his cellphone in hand, “Take it outside before I call the cops for a public disturbance.”

Ina looks like she’s about to snap something at him, but you stride over to the counter as you pull some money out of your purse, thankful that Seokjin had been an old man and paid you back for buying his lunch with cash.  Who even carries cash on them anymore?

“I’m so sorry,” you say in a quick, hushed tone to the bartender, “Keep the change, a tip, we’re leaving now.”

“Are you okay?” he asks you, quickly, before you can leave, stopping you with a gentle hand on your wrist, “Do you need me to call you someone?”

You realize you’re shaking, and you give him a genuine smile at his concern, “I’m okay, thank you.”

He doesn’t let go for a few more seconds, but finally nods, watching the three of you intently as you stalk out of the bar, Jeongguk following desperately behind you and Ina stomping after him.

“Y/N, can we please-” Jeongguk tries but you continue to stalk down the road, “Please!”

“Jeongguk, just leave her alone, it’s obvious she doesn’t care about you!”

The words fly out of your mouth before you’ve even thought about them, “Don’t you fucking tell me how I feel about Jeongguk!  You don’t know me!  You don’t know anything about Jeongguk and I’s relationship and from what it sounds like,” you spit out, glaring at her, “you don’t care about Jeongguk either.”

You didn’t realize how close you’d gotten to Ina until Jeongguk is stepping between you, hands held up placatingly.  You wonder what you’re hearing until you realize it’s you, that you’re panting heavily, almost like you’re about to have a panic attack.

“Baby, look at me,” Jeongguk says softly, “It’s okay, don’t worry about her, just look at me, focus on me.  Regulate your breathing or-”

“Jeongguk,” Ina says behind Jeongguk and Jeongguk turns sharply to face her.  It makes her mouth click shut with an audible click.

“Ina, shut your goddamn mouth,” he growls, sending a fearful shiver down your spine at the absolute malice in his voice.  When he turns back to you, his face has smoothed back out and his voice has softened, “Count as you breathe, let’s do four counts okay?”

Jeongguk talks you down, holding eye contact as he walks you through the counts, not touching you but his hands clearly available if you need them.  It’s a little embarrassing, but it’s not something Jeongguk hasn’t seen before.

“There we go.  Feeling okay?” Jeongguk asks sweetly, eyes tracing over your face like he can’t get enough of it.

“A little tired,” you admit, before you take a conscious step back, “I should probably go home.”

The desperation returns to Jeongguk’s eyes at the deliberate space between you two and the way you’ve closed your body off to him with your arms crossed in front of your chest.  He ignores Ina standing behind him, who hasn’t said anything since his outburst but hasn’t left either.

“Yeah, it’s late,” he says, voice resigned but the sadness evident on his face, “Do you want me to order you an Uber?”

You shake your head, pulling your phone out to do it yourself, and Jeongguk doesn’t take his eyes off you, ordering his own Uber.

“Y/N,” he says, and you brace yourself for more begging, but he just says, “Would you… would you please let me know when you get home safe?  I won’t even text you back or anything, I just- I just need to know you get back okay.”

You look at him for a moment, really look at him.  In the bar you had been eager to get away from him and so you had noticed the sunken cheeks and the casual clothes, but now, you really take him in.  His hair is longer, curling cutely around his ears as he pushes it out of his eyes.  His tattoos are real, not a customized skin he purchased for connecting, and though most of them are hidden, you can see the ones inked across his knuckles and on the back of his hand.  His eyes are round and sparkly in the shitty street light, boring holes into you as he refuses to look away from you.

This is the Jeongguk you’ve been connecting with for weeks, months, with the sweet eyes and sweeter voice, and you can feel the love you have for him throbbing almost painfully in your heart, desperate to understand.  Desperate to ask why?

You give him a minute nod, letting him know you’ll do that, and he doesn’t even try to hide the relief on his face.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, raking his hands through his hair again.  You realize how oily it is and you wonder if he’s been taking care of himself properly.

Your Ubers arrive at the same time and though you don’t want to, the sadistic part of you lingers for a moment, digging through your purse with a thinly veiled excuse at making sure you have everything, to watch them leave together.

They don’t.  Jeongguk opens the door for Ina and gestures her inside.  She looks smug, like she’s won something, and you wish you could see the look on her face when Jeongguk shuts the door without getting in.  He gestures something to the driver and the Uber takes off, and you get a sick sort of satisfaction seeing a brief moment of absolute incredulousness on her face as she passes under a lamppost.

You turn to look at Jeongguk, who’s watching you with his hands shoved in his pockets.  You feel so confused and you’re so tired from the rush of adrenaline your almost panic attack had given you, that you can feel tears welling up again.

“What about you?” you ask, voice shaky, and Jeongguk frowns at you.

“I’ll just get another one.  Please go home, it’s late and you sound tired,” he steps closer, hesitantly, and you allow it.

“I am tired.  I’m so tired, Jeongguk,” you sigh, wiping some moisture away from your eye, before you open the door and slide inside.

You don’t look at him again, as the door shuts softly.  But you’re weak, and you’ve always been weak.  As the car pulls away from the curb, you turn in your seat to see Jeongguk standing under a solitary light, watching your car drive away with his hands still in his pockets, and you cry.

By the time you get home, you’re so exhausted you can barely keep your eyes open.  You do a half-assed job of cleaning your face and you don’t bother putting on pajamas after you undress so you just crash onto your bed.  Almost all the tension in your body flooding out of you as you sink into your duvet.

You glance at your phone, plugged in on your bedside table, and drag it to you.  You sent him a simple text, just a home, and there’s a little read checkmark beneath the phone.  He said he wouldn’t text you back and he hasn’t and even though he kept his word, it hurts, and you cry again.

-

You didn’t drink so you wouldn’t have a headache but unfortunately, crying yourself to sleep has left you dehydrated and with puffy eyes.  You thought you were over it but seeing Jeongguk in person last night had just smashed that little glass jar you were trying to bottle your feelings in and you don’t know what to do.  And what the fuck was Ina’s problem?

You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as you toss your phone back and forth in your hands, deliberating.  A few texts couldn’t hurt, could they?  You have questions, and you want answers to them.  Closure.  He said he wanted to talk, so, you’d let him talk.

Hopefully you’d come out of it in one piece.

Your text is simple enough, just I have questions, and it warrants an almost immediate response.

from: ggukkie ♡

Of course baby whatever you want to know, ask

Now that he’s opened the door, you’re drawing a blank, because there’s so much but how do you ask?  How do you ask him why you weren’t good enough?

from: ggukkie ♡

Can I call you?

That feels like too much, like you’re opening yourself up to him for him to take advantage of you.  But… you press the phone icon before you can second guess yourself and you’ve barely gotten it up to your ear when it connects.

“Y/N…?” he asks, almost sounding afraid, like someone is playing a trick on him and it’s not actually you on the line.

“Jeongguk,” you greet and he lets a deep exhale out in response.

“Sorry, I just… need a second,” he whispers, voice shaky, and you wonder for a moment if he’s crying, or close to it.

You don’t say anything and the silence stretches on, burrowing under your skin and pricking at your nerves, your heart beating wildly in your chest.  You hear a few sniffles on his end and it confirms your fear, that he’s crying softly to himself.

“I didn’t think you’d talk to me again,” he finally admits, still whispering, voice stuck in his throat, “I thought watching you leave last night that that was it, that it was officially over for us.”

His words have your own tears springing forth and you’re so tired of this, this game you two have been playing for the past few weeks.

“Why?” you sob out and Jeongguk breaks down on his own end.

“Baby, please don’t cry,” he begs but it makes it worse, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Gumdrop meows loudly from the living room and you hear the jingle of her collar as she pitter patters down the hallway to you, spurred on by your cries.  She’s already purring by the time she jumps up on your bed, headbutting into your hand to pet her.

“Who is she?” you ask, hands curling into your comforter.

“Ina’s no one,” he’s quick to assure you, “She’s an ex, and an ex for a reason.  Ina doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.”

“She doesn’t seem to think so,” you bite out, “She followed you to the bar and she must have followed you for a reason.”

Jeongguk is silent for a few moments and your heart plummets.  Finally, he lets out a shaky sigh.

“My brother got into an accident, that day,” he finally says, voice void of any emotion.

It feels like someone crushes your heart with a sledgehammer, knocking the air out of you.  You don’t say anything, can’t, and Jeongguk continues.

“The knocking was, um… my mom,” Jeongguk stops for a moment, choked up, “She came to get me, so we could go to the hospital.  It was a pretty serious accident and we’ve been trying to clear up a lot of things with insurance and his work.”

“Gguk…” you cry, pressing a hand to your eyes as Gumdrop cuddles up in your armpit, purring up a storm.

“Mom and dad have been staying with him as much as they can,” he continues, “and I’ve… I’ve been taking care of his daughter.”

You feel awful.  This whole time you’ve assumed that he was ghosting you, when really he had been dealing with some serious family issues and you… had been a complete asshole to him about it.

“Is Jeongyun okay?” you croak out, turning onto your side and curling around Gumdrop.

Jeongguk is silent for a moment, before he says softly, “He suffered some pretty serious spinal injuries and they’re… they’re not sure if he’ll ever be able to walk again…”

“Oh Gguk-ah,” you sob, pressing a hand over your eyes like that’s going to staunch the tears.

“Yeah…” he says simply, because what else do you say when your entire world is crumbling down around you?

“How’s his daughter?”

“Confused,” he says, “she’s only six and we haven’t let her go visit him, so she’s constantly asking where her dad is.  I’m just… not sure what to tell her, and I don’t know how to explain the situation to her.”

“That’s understandable,” you assure, “I couldn’t imagine trying to comprehend how hurt my dad was.  What’s her name?”

“Iseul,” he tells you, and you can hear the smile in his voice as he says it, “she’s beautiful, and funny, and smart.  Looks a lot like Jeongyun.”

“And… and her mom?”

“She decided she couldn’t handle taking care of a child and she and Jeongyun decided it was best if she wasn’t around at all.  The agreement works for both of them, I think she moved out of the country for her job actually, I’m not sure.  Iseul doesn’t seem to care, but we’re waiting for her to start asking about her one day, especially now that she’s started school.”

“I’m glad things have worked out for them.  It’s good to hear that their split sounds amicable,” you say softly, patting at the residual tears on your cheeks, running your fingers down Gumdrop’s spine.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk heaves out a heavy sigh, “it’s been tough.  We all try to pitch in to babysit Iseul when Jeongyun has to work, so I see her a lot.”

“Are… are you with Iseul now?” you ask, wondering if you’ve put Jeongguk in an uncomfortable position demanding answers when he’s trying to take care of his family.

“No, mom and dad watched her last night.  But moms dropping her off tonight so they can go to the hospital.”

You hum, letting the silence drag on.  It’s almost nice… nostalgic in a way that memories shouldn’t feel only being two weeks old.  But it almost feels normal, like how you and Jeongguk used to talk.  If you had known Jeongguk had lived close by, you might have asked to meet in person sooner, but you had grown so comfortable in what you two had that you hadn’t wanted to rock the boat.  Now, you kind of wish you had.

You can’t help but ask, “What does Ina have to do with all this?”

Jeongguk groans in disdain and you want to laugh, as you can imagine the arm he has thrown over his eyes, “She’s a pain in the ass.  Mom must have told her mom about the accident and Ina must have thought this would be our way of "reconnecting."”

Jeongguk huffs and you smile a sad little thing as he continues, “Our parents have been friends for years and they finally introduced us at the start of college when they learned we got accepted to the same one.  We didn’t date immediately, we actually didn’t start until our senior year and well… you heard last night.  She cheated on me.”

You frown on your end, and he continues, “It’s been a few years and I’m over it, but I guess she’s not.  I don’t really care though, I have no interest in being with her.”

You nod, aware he can’t see you, but unsure of what else to say.  He’s answered all of your questions and now you just feel like a fool.  All of this could have been avoided if you had just asked, but instead, you had let yourself make assumptions and caused yourself, and Jeongguk, unnecessary pain.

“Baby…?”

“Sorry, I’m here,” you whisper, pressing a soft kiss to Gumdrop’s head, thankful for her support.

“What are you thinking?” he asks, softly, almost like he’s afraid of what you’re going to say.

“I’m thinking that I’m a fucking idiot,” you chastise yourself, and Jeongguk hums in discontent over the line.

“You’re not an idiot,” he counters and you snort a self-deprecating sound, “it’s okay, I understand-”

“Shut up, it’s not.  Gguk-ah I’m so sorry, I should have- I don’t know what I should have done.  Listened?  Gave you time like you asked?” you’re back to crying, softly this time, frustrated with yourself.

Jeongguk coos at you, “Baby, it’s okay, I’m not mad.  I just… I just miss you.”

“I miss you too,” you admit, “so much.”

“If- If you have time, I’d like to connect-”

“No,” you cut him off and he trails off, heaving a sigh.

“Ah, sorry, I must have misunderstood-”

“I want to see you, in person,” you finish and he trails off again, “we have to live semi close to each other, if we were at the same bar last night, right?  I’d like to actually see you again, if you’re okay with it.”

“Okay with it?  Baby, I’d love to see you in person again.  Tonight, if you want,” Jeongguk offers and you’re surprised, to say the least.

“But, you’re going to have Iseul tonight,” you remind him.

“And?  Y/N, I don’t think you realize how much you mean to me.  I wanted to introduce you to my family one day anyway, why not start with her?”

You’re quiet for a moment, and Jeongguk misinterprets the silence, “If you don’t feel comfortable with it, we can meet up somewhere-”

“Do you want me to bring anything?” you interrupt, and you can practically see the smile on his face.

-

“I don’t go out with you for one night and all this shit happens,” Seokjin gripes in your ear piece and you giggle, bundled up on the subway as you head to Jeongguk’s apartment.

Jeongguk doesn’t live particularly close to you, but it’s not a long subway ride.  He, apparently, had picked that bar because he thought it was far enough from his apartment that Ina would leave him alone.  And well, that didn’t exactly work out for him.

“Yeah it was a wild night, I’ll say that,” you agree, purse snug in your lap.  Jeongguk had told you not to worry about bringing anything and you feel vaguely weird being empty handed.

“Are you sure about this?” Seokjin asks you, “About giving him another chance?  I don’t think he’s lying but…”

You smile, always appreciative of your best friend, “I am.  I should have just heard him out in the first place and these past two weeks would never have happened.  I’ve missed him, so much Jinnie.”

“I know, I just worry about you.  I’ll still fight him if you need me too!  I haven’t been going to the gym for nothing you know,” you can just imagine Seokjin exaggeratedly flexing his biceps and you laugh, perking up when you hear the announcement for your stop.

“I know and you’re getting so thick I think I’m starting to find you attractive,” you tease, fighting your way off the train.

“Starting?  Ha!  You’ve always found me hot, don’t even try to lie.  Hopefully Jeongguk knows he’s always going to be second fiddle when I’m around.”

You roll your eyes good naturedly, “How does Mina put up with you?”

“I dick her down good enough that she can ignore anything else I say.  Also, I cook.  Do you know she got mad at me the other day?  Told me I’m trying to fatten her up so no one else will want her, as if she still wouldn’t be the hottest babe in town, honestly.”

You smile at how in love Seokjin sounds just thinking about his girlfriend, “You are so dramatic.  I’m going to go before you wax poetic about Mina’s ass.”

“Hey, I love her for more than just her body!  Did I tell you she beat me at thumb wrestling the other day?  She also kills all the bugs I don’t want to touch.  She’s going to be the mother of my children all while being a boss bitch at work.  Oh!  She’s applied for a promotion and she’s a shoe in.  If she doesn’t get it, I’m going to burn her work down,” Seokjin drones, sounding so serious for a moment you don’t doubt that he will.

“I’m sure she’ll get it, she’s so good at her job!  They’d be dumb not to give it to her.  I’m going to check in with her later, and I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?  It’s half-priced smoothies, don’t forget!”

Seokjin makes an exaggerated moaning sound and you laugh, hanging up on him.  It’s a ten minute walk to Jeongguk’s apartment from the subway and the closer you get, the stronger the butterflies in your stomach stir.  It’s not nervousness, but excitement.  You’re so excited to see Jeongguk you think you’re going to be sick.

HIs apartment doesn’t have a buzzer, so you walk in and up the stairs.  Thankfully, he only lives on the second floor, so you aren’t wheezing by the time you reach his door.  You bite your lip as you ring his doorbell, immediately hearing what sounds like someone running.

The door swings open quickly and you barely have time to open your mouth before Jeongguk has hoisted you into the air, crushing you to him.

“Oh,” you gasp, arms wrapping tight around him as you’re knocked off your equilibrium for a moment, “Gguk-ah, what-?”

He has his face buried in your neck, staying still in the doorway and leaving you two looking like a couple of idiots to anybody who could potentially walk by.  But you don’t really care about that when you register how warm he feels under you, his hair brushing against your nose and smelling like strawberry shampoo.  His sweatshirt is soft in your hands and you run a hand up and down his back when you feel him shaking against you slightly.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he whispers wetly into your skin.

You squeeze your eyes shut, feeling the tears well up in them as you hold onto him tight, glad to be there too.

When Jeongguk finally sets you down, his eyes are red rimmed.  He’s close to tears but he’s smiling, his hands coming up to frame your face and tilt it towards him.

“Hi baby,” he sighs, eyes darting across your face, thumps sweeping under your eyes lovingly.

You thought it would feel weird, seeing him in person, actually seeing him instead of connecting.  But it doesn’t.  Nanotech is advanced and the body under your fingertips doesn’t feel any different in the flesh than it did simulated but knowing it’s Jeongguk, that it’s really him, causes your heart to beat faster.

“Gguk-ah,” you smile, though you’re a little embarrassed at how intently he’s staring you down, trying to hide your face.

“Aw, is my baby getting shy?” he teases, pulling you closer to him so he can shut the door, “That’s so cute.”

“Stop,” you whine, letting Jeongguk help you out of your windbreaker and step out of your shoes, as he laughs at you.

He pulls you farther into his apartment, which looks so clean you think you could eat off the floor.  Jeongguk leads you to the living room, softly pushing you down onto his couch and practically diving onto you.  You squeal a little as you two bounce and it morphs into a giggle as Jeongguk wraps tight arms around you, turning his head so he can place his ear right on top of your heart.

It’s a position you’ve been in many times with him.  Jeongguk is an avid post-coitus cuddler, wrapping himself like an octopus around you as he basks in the afterglow.  He liked the closeness, he told you once, the retained intimacy afterwards that helped with his headspace.  You never minded because you like cuddling too, and you like running your hands through his hair and brushing soft fingers down his cheek and neck.

Jeongguk sighs heavily on top of you and you can feel the tension slowly easing out of his body, his arms going lax and his slow blinks, staring unseeingly at the TV.

“You look tired, Gguk-ah,” you say softly and he hums into your neck, pressing the softest kiss against your skin.

“I… didn’t sleep well, last night,” he admits and your heart aches, knowing you were the reason, that you were adding unnecessary stress to his already stressful situation.

“Take a nap, baby,” you encourage, and Jeongguk glances up at you.  Jesus Christ, those eyes; they hold the entire galaxy in them, “I’ll wake you up before Iseul gets here.”

“Mom’s dropping her off at five,” he mumbles, already starting to drift.

You kiss the top of his head, squeezing him a little as you say, “Okay, I’ll wake you up half an hour before then.  Sleep.”

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, but the smile on his lips is sweet.

It’s a good two and a half hour nap, and you spend the time just (a little creepily, you’re willing to admit) watching him, eyes tracing over his face like you can’t get enough.  And you truly can’t.

Connecting is safe, for sexual reasons, but there’s still the chance that people alter their connecting appearances.  Jeongguk hadn’t done that and you can’t believe that he’s actually this handsome, all tan skin and toned muscles, hair a deep chestnut color and eyes as big as a doe’s.  You thought he must have purchased some sort of skin or body modifications, though you believed he was truly handsome, but this is a whole other level.  You hope he’s not disappointed learning you hadn’t customized yourself, either.

Jeongguk snuffles against your skin as you run your hand up and down his back, under his shirt, skin warm under your palm.  He’s starting to wake up, without you having to disturb him, and you smile as you kiss his temple.  He smiles sleepily, blinking loving eyes up at you.

“You’re still here,” he rasps, voice scratchy from disuse.

“Of course,” you whisper back, pressing a kiss between his eyes, before nuzzling your noses together, “of course I’m still here.”

He hums happily, basking in the kisses you scatter across his face, making exaggerated sounds as you do.

“Time to get up,” you remind him, “Your mom is going to be dropping Iseul off soon.”

“She has a key, she can let herself in,” he grumbles, burrowing further into your arms, trying to mold himself to you so there’s no space between you.

“Gguk-ah,” you laugh, smoothing some hair behind his ear.  He still looks tired so you don’t push it, “your hair has gotten long.”

“Mhm.  I’ve never had it this long, but I think I like it.”

“It suits you,” you gather some of it up in your hands and snicker a little, “look, apple hair.”

Jeongguk just smiles a little wider, letting you mess around with his hair, not even fighting you as you wrestle the hair tie off his wrist.

“Man bun…” you murmur to yourself, snapping the hair tie in place, “you look like an e-boy now.”

Jeongguk pinches your side in retaliation as he finally starts to stir and stand and you squeal, squirming away from his hands.  You watch him stretch upwards, his fingertips brushing the ceiling as he cracks his back.  You let your eyes linger on the strip of skin that shows when he stretches, knowing the ink on his hip is hidden beneath the waistband.

Jeongguk doesn’t call you out on your gaze, but he does smirk at you as he muses up the hair that you didn’t put up.

“Want something to drink?” he asks, scratching at his stomach as he starts towards the kitchen.

“Sure.  Water, please,” you request and you see him nod as you sit up on the couch, wiggling your feet under one of the couch cushions.

Just as Jeongguk hands you a glass, there’s a knock on his door.  Before he can even say anything, the door is opening and a soft, little voice is calling out, “Ggukkie!”

A wide grin blossoms on Jeongguk’s face and he turns around just as a little body barrels towards him, knocking her face against his knees a little roughly.

“Woah!” Jeongguk wobbles a little from the force, “Hey, Itsy.”

This must be Iseul.  You smile as she lifts her face to beam at her and you can see the family resemblance.

“Gguk, can you help with these bags?” it must be his mom calling out from the doorway.

You’re up before Jeongguk can address her, patting his shoulder as you pass by.  Iseul gets a little shy and hides back in Jeongguk’s legs, barely reaching his waist, peeking up at you in curiosity.

Jeongguk’s mom gives you a startled look as you take some bags out her hands, giving her a small smile, “Here, let me help you.”

“Oh, thank you…”

She’s delivering groceries and you take them to the kitchen, helping her pile them on the counter before you shoo her away, “I can put these away, go see Gguk-ah.”

She surveys you for a moment, but you’re adamant and she eventually concedes.  Jeongguk’s apartment isn’t that big, so you can hear what she says when she reaches him.

“Gguk, who is that?” she’s trying to ask quietly but her voice gets back to you anyway.

“Mom, that’s Y/N, I’ve told you about her,” he laughs a little and you smile to yourself.

“Y/N?!  And you didn’t tell me she was here?!  Gguk, I would have brushed my hair!”

He laughs louder at her, “Mom, you look fine, and I’m sure she doesn’t care.”

“Still…” you can only imagine the pout on her face from her tone of voice.

She mainly brought quick dry goods, so once those are put away and you store the milk, you’re done.  You’re a little hesitant about going back out to meet them, but you’ve avoided talking to people long enough.

Jeongguk’s mom offers you a brilliant smile once you exit the kitchen, and hurries forward to take your hands, “Y/N!  It’s so nice to meet you!  Gguk has told me so much about you.”

You blush a little as you take her in.  She looks tired, probably from the stress of her son being in the hospital and trying to navigate that situation, but you can see the resemblance to Jeongguk, mainly in the eyes.

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” you cut your eyes to Iseul, who Jeongguk is now holding in his arms, and decide to not say anything about Jeongyun, “I hope it’s okay that I hang out with Gguk-ah and Iseul today.”

“Of course!  I wish I could stay and chat, but I have… something to do.”

You nod, completely understanding, and she continues as she squeezes your hands, “But I’d love for us to have dinner together someday, all of us.  Anyone Gguk is so smitten with is someone I want to get to know.”

“Mom!” Jeongguk whines, making Iseul giggle.

You’re surprised when his mom pulls you into a hug but you lean into it, as she rocks you two in place for a few seconds, “I have to get going now, but we’ll talk about that dinner.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” you tell her honestly and her smile widens, if possible.

She turns on her heels to press a kiss to Iseul’s cheek and then Jeongguk’s, “You behave yourself.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she does,” Jeongguk nods at her.

“I was talking about you,” his mom teases and Iseul giggles at her, patting at Jeongguk’s arms to let her down, “I’ll pick Iseul up later tonight, make sure she eats dinner before I do.”

“I got this mom, go,” Jeongguk nudges her along gently and she lets him, giving you a little wave before she’s out the door.

Iseul is a sweetheart.  She’s a little shy around you at first, but she warms up quickly when she sees how comfortable Jeongguk is around you, making you a trustful figure in her eyes.  She has a bad habit of sucking her thumb and trying to talk around it, but she’s a cute kid that has Jeongguk wrapped around her little finger.

She insists on helping you two cook dinner, which means she sits on the counter and demands to taste test every few minutes, happily swinging her feet.  Jeongguk keeps sneaking little kisses, even though you reprimanded him the first time for PDA in front of his niece.  Iseul doesn’t seem to care about that, but she does demand her own kisses that Jeongguk willingly covers her face in.

Iseul wants to take a bath and Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate, leaving you two in the living room to draw it for her.

“Ggukkie is a good uncle,” she suddenly declares, snuggly settled in your lap and twisting the ring on your finger.

“Yeah?  You guys have fun when you’re together?” you ask her gently, stroking a hand through her hair.  It’s long; you wonder if she’d let you braid it once she was out of the bath.

She grins as she leans into your touch, “Yeah, Ggukkie is fun.  He lets me stay up past my bedtime and eat ice cream when gramma says no.  He’s also the only one who will play airplane with me.”

You hum, hearing Jeongguk padding back to the living room.  Iseul perks up at the sound and slides off your lap, tugging on your hand to pull you up.

“Okay Itsy, let’s go.”

You’re surprised she wants you to go with her, but you help steady her as she shucks her clothes off before she practically swan dives into the tub.

“Itsy, careful!” Jeongguk scolds, settling down on the floor and pulling you down beside him, “If you break your neck, gramma will have mine.”

She grins at him, smacking the water a few times before she turns a sweet gaze towards you, “Y/Nie, will you wash my hair for me?”

You’re soaked by the time Iseul has decided she’s done, letting you wrap her up tight in an oversized, fluffy towel as Jeongguk brushes gently through the tangles in her hair.

“Iseul, can I braid your hair?” you ask and she gasps, clapping her hands.

“Yes!  Daddy can’t braid.”

You do two french braids and braid them into each other in the back, before you roll it up and pin it in place.

“When we let it down when it dries, you’ll have the cutest curls.”

“Princess curls?” she asks, tilting her head in the mirror as she looks at herself, “Can I have my tiara?”

“Your tiara isn’t here, babe, it’s at gramma’s,” Jeongguk informs her, hoisting her up into her arms, “c’mon, let’s get you dressed.  You should still have some pjs here.”

“Pjs?  It’s not even bedtime,” she frowns, but doesn’t put up a fight as he walks out of the room.

“So?  There’s never a bad time to wear pjs,” he argues with her, and you snicker to yourself as their bickering tapers off as they enter his bedroom.

For a little girl who claimed it’s not bedtime, her drooping eyes deceiving her.  She looks adorable dressed in some Ponyo pajamas, something Jeongguk proudly claimed he picked out for her.  She’s curled up in Jeongguk’s lap, sucking gently on her thumb as she tries to pay attention to the cartoon he put on for her, snuggled under a blanket he had wrapped around them.  You’re watching them fondly, the way Jeongguk strokes from the nape of her neck down her spine and then back up.  The way he’s humming softly and pressing periodic kisses to her forehead.

She doesn’t last long under his ministrations, her eyes drifting shut one more time and not reopening.  You watch as her body goes lax in his hold and her breaths even out, her thumb slowly falling out of her mouth.

“Works every time,” he smiles, standing up gently so as to not jostle her, “I’m going to go lay her down, I’ll be right back.”

You smile and nod, watching him turn the corner of the living room.  You clean up the toys Iseul has strewn around the room, folding the blanket back up and turning the TV off.  You check the kitchen, just to make sure the dishes from dinner are actually done, and just as you turn back into the living room you see Jeongguk standing in the middle of it, back to you and hands in his hair.

You’re not sure what he’s doing but you’re quiet as you sneak up behind him, before you wrap your arms around his middle.  He jumps and turns his head towards you, bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“You okay?” you ask quietly, not wanting to wake Iseul.

“I- yeah.  I um, thought you had left,” he says, just as quietly, if not more, almost like he’s afraid to admit it.  Your heart pangs for him, aware of what you’ve done to him.

“I’m not leaving, not this time, not again,” you promise him and Jeongguk grabs ahold of your hands, holding them to his chest like a lifeline.

You stand there for a few moments, just holding him to you, breathing him in softly.  You’ve been such an idiot.

“I’m really sorry, Gguk,” you start and Jeongguk goes rigid in your arms, “that I was so selfish and never let you explain.”

“Y/N…” he breathes out and you shake your head against his back, letting go of him so you can slowly turn him to face you.

“I didn’t mean to make your trauma about me,” you reach up and place your hand on his cheek, trying to convey to him how sorry you are, “I made an already shitty situation that much more difficult and I am so, so sorry Gguk-ah, that I was so selfish, and that I didn’t stop to think about you at all.  About what might have happened and about how you were feeling.  And I just- I can never make it up to you, but I can start by never leaving you again.”

Jeongguk places light hands on your waist, eyes hooded as he stares down at you.  His eyes trace over your face, a small smile on his face.

“I love you,” he tells you and you start crying, “Aw, baby, don’t cry.  Is me loving you really that bad?”

He’s teasing you and you push his chest lightly, though it doesn’t even phase him, “Shut up!  H-How can you say that after what I’ve done?”

Jeongguk hums to himself as he pulls you to him, letting you bury your face in his neck as you sob, “You may be right, in that it was selfish, but I guess, in a way, I understand.”

You’re shaking your head but he’s shushing you, tangling his fingers in your hair, “Jeongyun’s accident made me realize that life is short and that anything can happen.  Being away from you for so long is not something I ever want to do again.  I can forgive you for the past two weeks, as long as we agree that we have to talk, about anything and everything that bothers us.  You can’t shut me out like that again, okay?”

You blubber into his neck, nodding your head, wrapping your arms tightly around him.  Jeongguk holds you, seemingly content to just have you with him.  He’s humming to you, like he was humming to Iseul, and you don’t know what the song is but it’s soothing.  When you pull away from him to wipe at your face, he does it for you, pressing kisses after the tears are gone.

“No more tears, baby,” he tells you, before he kisses your mouth, your lips fitting together snuggly, “there’ve been enough tears in the past few weeks, I can’t bear to see anymore.”

You nod and he wipes the last few dripping tears off your face, pressing more kisses to your face as he sways you both back and forth.

“Can’t believe I had to take care of two babies tonight,” he teases and you splutter, pushing at his chest again.

“Don’t make fun of me!” you whine and he laughs, loudly, before you shush him, reminding him of Iseul.

“Why did you clean the living room up?” he asks, leading you back to the couch.

He doesn’t have to push you down; you sit down and make grabby hands at him and Jeongguk eagerly goes, smiling happily as he settles comfortably on top of you, threading your fingers together and pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“I figured since Iseul was down for the night, I’d leave,” you explain.

“No,” Jeongguk pouts, “didn’t you just tell me you’d never leave again?”

“I-I meant your life and you, I didn’t mean… your apartment!” you sound a little scandalized and Jeongguk grins against your skin, scraping his teeth across it.

“Nope, too late, you live here now.  I’ll call my landlord in the morning and get you added to the lease, rent is due by the fifth.”

You just laugh at him, bundling Jeongguk in your arms and trying to smother him in your chest.  He takes it in stride, biting tiny marks into your skin that he admires in the low light.

With a small kiss to your sternum he says, “I’m serious, you know.”

“About what?” you ask, brushing his hair from his eyes.  His bun is still in tact, but it’s getting loose and you tighten it for him.

“About moving in.  You could, if you wanted,” he says, no trace of humor in his voice, “tomorrow, if you wanted.”

You blink at him, toying with the tuft of hair on the back of his head, unsure of what to say.  You finally come up with, “But my lease isn’t up for three more months.”

“Then in three months,” he says, immediately.

“You don’t think that’s too… fast?” you ask, tentatively, keeping a hold on Jeongguk’s hair so he can’t turn his head and look at you, though he tries, “We’ve only just physically met.”

“I feel like I’ve known you forever,” he mumbles, “don’t let me guilt you into anything, but just think about it.  If you don’t want to, just renew your lease, I’ll understand.  But I want you here, with me.  I don’t care that this is the first time we’ve actually met, the things I feel for you don’t exist in the vacuum of connecting.  They’re real and they squeeze my heart so tightly sometimes I feel like I’m suffocating.  I don’t wanna be without you.”

You tuck your face into his hair, wetly telling him, “I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I ask for,” he squeezes you in return.

You hold each other until you hear his front door opening, and you panic, not wanting his mother to see you two wrapped around each other.  Jeongguk whines at you, keeping you held down in place.

His mom laughs when she walks into the room, Jeongguk pouting petulantly up at her while you give her a wide eyed stare.

“Iseul sleeping?” she asks tenderly, shutting the door softly behind her, “Is she in your room?”

Jeongguk nods, “Yeah.  She’s been asleep for about half an hour now.  She ate dinner really well and took a bath.  Her hair is still probably wet.”

She hums as she pads down the hallway and you immediately start poking Jeongguk in the stomach.

“Get up you ridiculous oaf!” you hiss, trying to push him up, “Your mother is here!”

“This didn’t bother you when Iseul was in the next room!” he retaliates, and his octopus arms somehow find space to tighten even more around you.

“She was sleeping!” you counter and you continue to push at him, but you do nothing more than tire yourself out and he doesn’t even budge an inch.

“It’s fine.  She’s walked in on my jerking off before, so this is pretty tame,” he says, casually, and you groan.

“I hate that.  Why would you tell me that?” you complain, collapsing back onto the couch.

You can hear Iseul and his mom coming back down the hall, Iseul’s little voice laced with sleep still as she recounts exactly what Jeongguk had told her.

“I hope she doesn’t rat me out about the ice cream,” he suddenly whispers, body going rigid for a moment as he thinks of the ass reaming he could get if she tattles.

“Did you have a fun time with Ggukkie and Y/Nie?” his mom asks quietly, stopping in the living room with Iseul tucked securely in her arms.

“The bestest time,” Iseul nods, grinning at the two of you, patting at her gramma’s arms to be let down.

Jeongguk finally sits up to accept her hug and you take the opportunity to quickly sit up, crossing your legs underneath you.  Jeongguk gives you a disgruntled look, even as he pulls Iseul into his lap and presses a kiss against her temple.

“Glad I got to spend time with you today, Itsy,” he tells her, booping their noses together and she giggles, “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“M’kay.  Bye Ggukkie, love you.”

“Love you too, baby,” he smiles softly at her, setting her gently back on the ground.

To your surprise she toddles over to you, climbing clumsily into your lap and wrapping her arms around your neck.

“Bye, Y/Nie,” she sleepily kisses your cheek and you practically melt against her.

“Bye Iseul, sleep well, okay?  I hope you like your princess curls in the morning,” you tell her, kissing her cheek in return, and she smiles happily, patting at her hair.

“C’mon baby, we have to get you home.  You have school in the morning.”

Iseul doesn’t fight it, just goes back to her gramma and lets herself be bundled up for the weather.

“Okay, gotta get munchkin home.  I’ll see you two later.  And Y/N, I was serious about that dinner.”

You grin at her, nodding, “I was too.”

She grins back at you and waves.  Iseul copies her and waves too and when the door closes, the way Jeongguk body tenses has you springing up.  You’re glad you did because Jeongguk pounces on the cushion you were just sitting on, looking surprised when you’re not there.

“Hey!” he turns to you, “Where are you going?  Come back.”

“Gguk-ah, I have to go home,” you say placatingly, “Gumdrop is waiting on me.”

He pouts as he follows you to the door, almost completely plastered to your back.  He hinders more than he helps as you put your windbreaker and shoes back on.  He’s still pouting when you finally shrug him off, letting him pull you into a frontal hug.

“Now who’s the baby?” you tease, thumbing at his lower lip that he bites lightly at.  You act affronted but still accept the kiss he gives you, even if it lingers, “Gguk-ah I really do need to go.”

“Fine.  But come back tomorrow.”

“Gguk-ah, I work tomorrow,” you laugh, chiding him a bit, “we can have dinner tomorrow, okay?  You can come over and finally meet Gumdrop.  I just want you to know that if she doesn’t like you, though, we’re over.  Her word is law.”

Jeongguk lets out a disbelieving laugh, pulling you into another kiss, hands framing your face sweetly.  You smile as you indulge him, pressing repeated kisses against his willing mouth.  You internally roll your eyes when you feel his hand creeping down your back, settling on your lower back.

“Okay, stop trying to distract me I have to go now,” you admonish, pushing him away from you as he looks very close to stomping his foot.

“Damn, I was hoping the longer I kissed you the easier it’d be to get you out of your clothes.”

Now you really roll your eyes and Jeongguk laughs at you, “Fine, fine, fine.  Dinner, tomorrow.  I’ll meet you at your apartment.  What kind of treats does Gumdrop like?”

“Treats?  Why?”

“Gotta bribe her to make sure she likes me,” he shrugs and you scoff, “Text me when you get home, though.  Are you taking the subway back?  Should I drive you home?”

You shake your head, smiling, “No, Gguk-ah, it’s okay.  I’ll text you when I get back.”

He nods and finally lets you go, watching with a frown as you open the door.

“Don’t worry Gguk-ah, I’ll see you tomorrow.  I promised I’d never leave you again, didn’t I?”

He nods, still frowning, but you understand it’s going to take him some time to heal from this, even if he has forgiven you.  You can’t begrudge him for that, but you can only try to assuage his fears.

“Tomorrow,” he nods, final.

-

Gumdrop absolutely loves him, which is almost insulting, except you can’t fault her; you kind of love him too.

[sweetiejunie]

idk if requests are open rn, but an angst/fluff soulmate au with Beomgyu would make me really happy. If requests aren’t open then it’s okay^^

—.✿ฺ—

Rewrite the stars

Summary: you weren’t meant to be together. And it freaked you out. But beomgyu? He’s always been your rock.

Genre: angst, fluff

Beomgyu x reader

A/n: huehue thanks for the request anonie!! First time i wrote a soulmate fic 🥴 but hope u enjoyed! I tried :’)

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The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break. Beomgyu watched as you laid in his arms, staring at the red string tied around your pinky. He knew this was wrong. You weren’t supposed to be with him. But he loved you, and you loved him.

It was a fluke that the two of you met. It was a fluke that you fell for each other. But that faithful day he decided to ignore his instincts, was probably the best decision he’s ever made.

You hated that you lived in a world where ‘soulmates’ existed as a concept. You had always thought it was just a social construct, but you can’t ignore the disapproving looks you got while you walked down the streets hand-in-hand with the boy that wasn’t fated to be with you. Why couldn’t the thread be tied around his pinky instead of some stranger you haven’t met? Faith, and the universe, just had to be a bitch.

Beomgyu, on the other hand, he never cared. He loved you, and that was all that mattered to him. Who cares about what others thought about you? Everyone around him told him that it wasn’t right, but nothing ever convinced him. He swore to be by your side no matter what, and it was a promise he planned to keep. On the days when you started to doubt your relationship, he was there. On days when the harsh reality of society got to you, he was there. He was there with you through thick and thin.

“You’re overthinking about the piece of thread again,” he suddenly spoke, knocking you out of your dazed stated when he caught you playing with the string around your left pinky.

You blushed, hiding your hand in a fist as you apologised, “Im sorry.”

“No need to apologise, my love.”

Beomgyu truly was the sweetest. Through all your panic and doubt, he still chose to stay with you and never expected anything in return.

Even the time you almost broke up with him because of everything people were telling you. How you weren’t fated to last or how he was going to leave you once he met his real soulmate. After all this time, that day is still engraved deep in his mind, stuck with him like the plague. After all, the most painful memories are the hardest to forget — the day he almost lost you.

That evening, beomgyu invited you to dinner to meet his parents. You had been dating for a while now, and he thought it was the perfect time for the most important people in his life to finally meet. There was just one small catch, okay, a pretty big catch. Since you weren’t soulmates, his parents weren’t biggest fan of you.

“Why would you agree to that? You know your parents aren’t typically that fond of me. Now you want me to sit barely a feet away from them for, gods knows how many hours?”

“Come on y/n, don’t worry so much. It’ll be fine, and I’ll be with you the whole time, alright?” Beomgyu replied, pouting at you, hoping that tonight would be the night his parents saw just how loving and kind you were. He wanted so badly for you to get along, but that proved to be just a wish.

“Fine, only for you. But don’t you dare leave me.”

As the night went on, beomgyus parents didn’t do anything too out of the ordinary, asking the usual interrogating questions any parent would ask the significant other of their child. But through the night, you had half a mind that every now and then they would glare at you. Then again, you were extremely nervous, so it could have just been you overthinking or your overactive imagination. But the moment beomgyu had excused himself to use the washroom, your suspicions were confirmed.

“Ill just be a second,” he whispered to you as he pushed he chair back.

The moment he was out of sight, his mother spoke, “listen, y/n. I’m going to be frank with you. I think you’re a really nice girl, but i want you to leave beomgyu,” venom evident in every word.

Her statement caught you off guard, and the only respond your brain could process was, “huh?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s clear that you two are not meant to be together. After-all, you aren’t soulmates. No amount of love can fix or change that.” She paused, only to continue when you didn’t reply, “and i just want the best for beomgyu. I’m sure you do too. One day, I want him to be able to find true love without being held back by anything... or anyone.”

Her words rang in your head over and over again. Were you really just a burden to beomgyu? Was he really going to leave you one of these days?

“I- er- Excuse me. Sorry, i have to go. Ill see myself out,” you stated, your head hung low as you hurried to gather your thing. “ Thank you for the dinner.”

You made your way to the front door, clicking it shut behind you. Ignoring the sound of the bathroom door opening and beomgyu’s voice as he called your name. Worried, confused, maybe even desperate. In the minute he left, his entire world had come crashing down in front him.

“What on earth did you say to her?!” He yelled at his parents. But before they could answer, he was sprinting out the door after you.

“Y/n!” He called out, running towards you. “Wait! Please!”

He reached out to grab your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. When you turned to face him, the tears running down your face were bullets to his heart.

“They’re small minded people,” he began, grabbing your hands, holding them tightly. “Why do you care what they think-”

“It’s not just them,” you interrupted. “It’s everyone.”

“Not me,” his expression soften when he realised you were starting to sob harder. His thumbs running over to back your hands assuringly.

“It may not be written in stone,” he said, referring to the thread tied around his own pinky. “But i know you’re meant to be mine.”

“Beomgyu...” you trailed off. You hated how fate made you question your future with him. You hated how you always put beomgyu in that position. But you couldn’t help it. “No one ever looked at you the way your parents looked at me. But they’re right, you and i, this isn’t meant to happen. Eventually, you would find your true soulmate. Isn’t it better we end it now, before it’s too late and one of us ends up getting hurt?”

He stood there, staring into your eyes. His grip on your hands never faulted, afraid that if let you go, he’ll never see you again. A millions thoughts ran through his head, but all of them wasn’t the right thing to say. All, expect one.

“I- i love you,” he chocked out.

“Beomgyu...“

“No, don’t. I can see it in your eyes that you love me too. Isn’t that enough? I promised to be by your side. What matters the most is what we think. And we love each other, thats more than what others can ever say about us. Just because this stupid string says we’re not supposed to be together, doesn’t mean we can’t still write out own ending. Don’t leave me, please.”

“But beomgyu, they’re your parents.”

“I dont give a shit. If they can’t accept me and whatever and whoever i love then... then that’s their problem.”

You couldn’t speak, chocking on your sobs as you looked into his eyes. You pulled him in for a hug, and that was all the response he needed before hugging you back.

Bringing himself back to the present, he smiled, admiring the sight in front of him as you stared up at the clouds. Since that day, the road with you was no where near a smooth ride. But from the moment he saw you, he knew that you may not be fated to be with him, but he had to love you with everything he had, for as long as he can.

The journey to be with you may have been long and difficult, but he was glad it was so tough. Cause if he hadn’t gone through hell to get there, he might not have learnt the lessons he did. And he would carry those lessons with him. He loved you through all the hard times, every stupid fight, every pang of jealousy or boredom or uncertainty that came your way. And he would continue to do that, until the very end. Admittedly, beomgyu didn’t know what the futures holds for either of you. But he knew that it included you.

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Hope you liked this! Not completely happy with this but thought it was still worth posting. I tried ㅠㅠ

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