#listen ive only had kim for 2 episodes

[gunsatthaphan]

“can you give me a chance?”

[garrothromeave]

the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go 

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 

[olde-scratch]

So I watched LUCIDS 1-4 without any prior knowledge...

and here were my thoughts. I didn’t watch any backstory or anything so enjoy my suffering.

PART 1

“So what happens when the people inside of their dreams go to sleep?” They die

“What happens when we wake up? Do they go on living while we’re not there?” THEY DIE-

“Who are they anyway?” they’re faces that our brain catalogs and stores for later use, although it’s also arguable that every time we dream we go to an alternate reality and inhabit the body of another version of ourselves. Now, were you in a car accident and trapped underwater or-

Are they twins?

(Me tuning out to do something)

“-the squirrel in spongebob was your soulmate, making you a Sandy simp-”

Me, snapping back to the video: hold up-

[missed the part about the worksheet, realized it when i rewatched 10 mins later to make this post]

yall speakin gibberish idk what youre saying-

“I’m gonna go to bed.” bro it literally looks like morning-

“You should get some sleep you look terrible.” i get six hours of sleep a night minimum and i look worse than him shut up bro-

“jump into someone else’s dream” ah i know this con-

why they all got the same face-

haha funni meme

“--an interruptiion can create feedback and tear them apart.” Death. I long for thee.

Is that Karl Jacob’s jacket?

“a second grader” makes me think this is a different school system. [i was wrong? i think?]

“[get him to] eat your apple”

[in the dream sequence] weird dream, but ive had weirder. now, Why Pamper’s-

why does he suddenly have a knife-

“You put a filter on the Dreamscape feed?”

“Technically, you are seven years old.”

???????????

the second hand embarrassment is UGGGHHH

[reading the description] you mean like the guy who was knocked out for 2 minutes on a football field and woke to find he’d dreamt 17 years of his life? oh this shall be Fun

PART 2

[I check the description] “jasper cult” what the fu-

how many camp camp references can i make during this

Is the apple a reference to religion or does the creator just really ilke apples?

“meal.”

“meal?”

meal????

Wait why couldn’t that guy eat the apple? If he wanted it in the fruit bowl, wouldn’t there be a chance of the guy eating it anyways?? Why can’t the guy who brought the apple eat it?

well he’s Dead

[debating if I should read the backstory}

n a h h h h h -

Was he gonna feed the dead guy the apple or something? Why is he upset about the apple in this scene???

oooo the grownups are fightinnnngggg

Is he an antagonist?

HE WROTE A BOOK???

oh now i want food

ESTABLISH JUSTICE ENSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILITYYYYYYYYYYYYY

“I watched all those aforementioned shows” what shows did i miss something what-

man why you gotta hate on her jane austen fanfic let her live bro

string theory! i can get behind that! sorta-

o no he found the memes-

BOY GOT KNOCKED OUT-

kim there’s people that are dying-

is SHE an antagonist?

quinn? calling himself jasper? u sure hes not just nonbinary? is this just a metaphor for transphobic parenting?

“He died... but somewhere, he grew up.” So is your plan to take a Quinn from a different universe and make him your own, thereby robbing another version of yourself from happiness? When does this ever go well?

Yknow most people, when they lose a kid,,,, kinda,,,,,,, dont go on a ceaseless quest to find another version of their kid that grew up without knowing that another version of his mother was invading other peoples’ dreams to find and kidnap him,,,,,,,, like aint u got a therapist-

“Once you get past the point of not knowing what’s real anymore, you realize it doesn’t matter.” Well, I Got Called Out-

PART 3

“you’re real, oliver.”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

“you’ve been infected by the anti-love parasite of Mandadon” the amatonormativity is strong

so anyways ive been infected since birth hbu-

“James Jasperson, creator of Japple” did you mean to Fancy Well-Educated Man in a Black Turtleneck? cause the only FWEMBT i allow near me is prof. hidgens

“are you winning?” says the capitalist

why did you rewind to see his face?? you have the same face????? is this just bc the creator doesnt like working with other people cause in that case same but???????

“it’s a bad idea. i’m not gonna do it.” we’ve all been there. and we’ve all done it.

looks like me trying to study. (i say, a person who has studied a total of five minutes throughout their entire life.)

your “Spartan trial” looks like a bunch of guys standing on a hill pretending to be something they’re not. Let The Man Bring His Snacks.

eat the apple.

is this your first existential crisis or something what a loser lets all point and laugh

“One of you should be spared, the other shall’nt.” did you mean shant or was that a choice-

yall gonna get called out for talking shut UP

“sorry if this is too personal, btw. are you okay?”

me, confused and half understanding what’s going on and also needing to sleep cause its almost one in the morning but wanting to finish what i can find of lucids which i only starting watching cause i saw an animatic of ranboo and dream w audio from it: i don’t know anymore

“i just want my life back... i was gonna get married-” AREN’T YOU LIKE SEVEN-

ay man if this is a sacrificial cult yall gotta get daniel-

UPDATE: I  H A V E  N O T  F O U N D  I T -

“oliver”

I  F O U N D   I  T -

WHICH ONE IS QUINN?? WHO’S JASPER???? WHICH ONE IS BENJAMIN???? I THOUGH BENJAMIN WAS SEVEN BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED WHAT-

oliver. eat the apple.

“Can you still have memories even when you’re dreaming?” One time I woke up to my alarm and fell back asleep and in my dream I remembered that I had class in a few minutes and my dream self woke my real self up so fast I thought I was gonna get whiplash. Anyways, I was late to class bc of my computer but that doesn’t matter.

NOPE I FOUND IT. HERE’S THE AUDIO. THE ANIMATIC ONE. FINALLY.

im thinking car crash. but also maybe murder. but also maybe both? is it raining or was he drowning? is he in a coma? hmmmmmm?

wait olivers the one with the apple does that mean he’s the one dreaming? is the ending gonna be him and jasper (quinn? idk) fighting against ben and mrs hills about jasper eating the apple to save oliver from the dream? hmmmmmmmmmm-

waitwaitwait i thought oliver was 7 how is benjamin 7 years younger than him if they look the same age what what what explain america explain what you mean arkansaw-

are the cuts on his nose plot-relevant or

“What if you hadn’t been driving?” So I was right about the car accident but Mrs. Hills still said he was seven so did i mishear her say that BENJAMIN was seven? but even then oliver would be 14 and that would still be illegal-

“How are you feeling?”

“Like you’re a pretty bad therapist.”

mood

“--it makes it all bearable to have power over the stories we write in our heads” that’s why i write fanfiction

HE’S GOT THE NOTEBOOK HE’S GONNA WRITE SOMETHING ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

WHAT YOU MEAN AN EXPERIMENT THAT’S HIS NAME-

[upon reading the description] so i was right.

wait was that supposed to be the twist in part 2 about the apple in his pocket is that what the existential crisis was about i thought it was because he was introduced to the multiple worlds theory-

PART 4

wait wasnt the other one january 2018 why we going back to 2017-

appol

“--the future and the past all already exist” mhm yep figured this out long ago

there was simultaneously a point in time in which i hadn’t known about this, had been looking it up, had been watching it, and had been writing an ending to this post, and had been posting it the next morning before class. that time is both now and not now. Welcome To The Multiverse Theory or whatever its called-

“--my favorite scene of the movie is waking up next to you.” Mine is eating fast food as I listen to AJJ and play Minecraft. We are not the same.

Now I’m hungry but it’s 1 in the morning and i already put my retainer in god fu-

[reading description] what do you mean previously??? she did that in the first episode????????

[still on description] WHAT DO YOU MEAN WILL QUINN BITE THE APPLE AND GO TO BENJAMINS REALITY ISNT THIS OLIVERS REALITY AND HE HAS TO GET BEN TO BITE THE APPLE WHY IS APPLE CAPITALIZED IS THIS THE DOING OF THE FWEMBT

i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have wa-

[description] oh ive been spelling quinn right the whole time nice

i hope she rejects you /j

WAIT BENJAMIN WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE

ISNT HE IN SECOND GRADE-

HE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD HOW IS HE GETTING MARRIED ARE THERE TWO BENJAMINS THAT WE’RE FOCUSING ON-

bro get out of the road ull get hit

how do you knOW WHICH ONE IS QUINN THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON-

so

wait

hills wants ben to feed quinn the apple bc in his mind, that will give hills and quinn a happy ending and she doesnt want ben to see the apple bc thats gonna mean ben will know that his reality isnt reality at all. so then oliver has to,,,, not let anyone eat his apple? he just has to wake up?

IS HILLS THE VILLAIN AFTER ALL ORRRRR

wait but if ben sees the apple wont he realize that his reality is wrong and his reality will change, making it so that hills doesnt get her son? or is there some time-based rule that says they’re only transported to the reality that the person believes at that moment? or is this another stab at the multiverse thing where an infinite amount of hills gets their happy endings while an infinite amount of hills doesnt and etc etc?

i should have watched the ba-

oooo dramatique

they’re in a time loop?

nope thats a new powerpoint

wait so theyre,,,, no-

wait-

nvm-

IS THE BEN WE KNOW AN ADULT GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE OR NOT-

“they were actually pretty nice” didnt they throw someone off a cliff-

oh so it got confusing THEN??? NOT BEFORE?????

“it all seemed so real.” is that Not the point of vivid REM sleep hallucinations-

is oliver gonna show ben the apple and ruin hills’ whole operation

WHO ARE ALEX AND RYAN-

“what’s 25-8″ bro dont do this to me-

yep hes gonna show the apple

ayyy the guy who stole karl jacobs jacket it back

the second hand embarrassment is back and I Hate It

all that happens in episode ONE??? bro get some better writers that is bad pacing

“it’s the best!” wait until season eight. no show has a good season eight.

quinn knows about the apple thing w the dreams and multiverse and realities dont he

YOU KILLED HIM

NOT KARL JACOBS NOOOOO HES ALREADY DIED ONCE

oliver is v relatable

wHaT iN tArNaTiOn-

lemme hear that explanaton again-

is bill cipher gonna show up? i hope bill cipher shows up. i miss gravity falls

“ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” moooooooood

did hills murder quinn

is your family the jasper cult

TOXXIICCCCCC get that lady out of your life quinn that is so toxic

“ ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!  ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S THE END NO WHAT WHY NO

The Adventures of Benjamin and Oliver

he is Not Good

ope-

wait so ben is equal parts an adult AND a child?? okay that clears a lot up

I MEAN HE WAS RIGHT THO BEN U CAN’T REALLY ARGUE ON THAT-

ew get off the floor

butterfly effect, multiverse theory, memory decay, and your imagination ALL exist yall gonna ignore that cause you wanna be famous?

“We already know what the future looks like!”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

to add to the list of bad things: Cats (2019)

YA BOI THINKS IT’S NOT ALREADY FIFTY YEARS TOO LATE TO START FIGHTING CLIMATE CHANGE FFFFF

BINGO BABYYYY

get what what

what mapped-

awwwww he thinks THEY’RE creating the multiverse

you gonna dismiss the multiverse theory bc of something you created in your current reality? loooserrrrrr

ABUSE YOUR GODLIKE POWERS

she draggin that seven year old

a lot makes sense now why didnt i do this first-

Jasper

the food shortages-

bro that calculators like 90 bucks at walmart

imagine meeting a stranger and they know Everything about your life like that’s gotta be so weird

what’s even weirder is them telling you you’re the deity of a cult that sacrifices animals

THAT FOURTH WALL BREAK WAS-

KARL JACOBS IS DEAD NOOOOOO

ooohhh there’s context for that

OOOOHHHH THERE’S CONTEXT FOR THIS TOOOO

w h a t -

w  h  a  t  -

W   H   A   T   -

Conclusion:

it’s 2 in the morning and i need sleep but hOOOOO MY GODS THAT WAS GOOD IS IT OVER OR NOT IDK ANYMORE IM TIRED THAT WAS CRAZY I HOPE QUINN AND JASPER GO ON TO BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS, AND I HOPE BENJAMIN AND OLIVER STAY VERY GOOD FRIENDS AND I HOPE HILLS FINDS A THERAPIST WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING BUT I ENJOYED IT

if i dream about apples im suing /j /lh

[luvdsc]

hey there lovely, it’s me, ✨ anon 💗💗 how have you been? did you have a good weekend? I’m glad that you’ve found avatar a good show to watch, and I hope you’re getting all the rest you can as well!! :)) as for recipes that I want to try next, Ive been thinking of macaroons or a lemon cake, I’ve been obsessed with lemon stuff for a while now and have been wanting to try out something lemony 🍋🍋 same with the food vids, they always make me want to eat something even though I shouldn’t (1/5)

but I just can’t stop watching them 😅 and it’s not like I look for them deliberately, it just comes up even in variety shows and watching them at night does not help at all :’) I really liked watching b99, 2 broke girls, friends, kim’s convenience and full house to name a few, and to all the boys I’ve loved before is probably the last rom com I’ve watched that I remember, and as for action shows I mostly prefer movies like the marvel series :)) (2/5)

omg yasss the dreamies are absolute comedians and they should be on more shows, but I’ll be happy with whatever I can get 💖 also hyuck not being on nct life is a bummer, but as long as he’s not being overworked and getting the rest he needs that’s all I could really ask for 🥺 oooh whenever you have the time you should check out svt, they’re definitely as chaotic or even more so than nct, and their music is super good too imo 💓(3/5)

ah yes I got into the boyz after I started watching rtk, and I definitely don’t regret it! definitely check out ateez, txt and tbz one day 🌼 and omg yes I heard chungha’s latest release it’s really good!! 🙌🏻 ooh you sound really good at cooking! pasta is easy for me as well, but i usually whip up some fried noodles or rice with some sides if I have the time, but I’m more into baking than cooking if I had to choose (4/5)

usually I listen mainly to pop, but occasionally a bit of r&b or hiphop :) my fav non-kpop artists would have to be lauv, shawn mendes and troye sivan (I don’t really listen to a lot of non-kpop nowadays sorry 🤧) if not I just chuck on one of those lofi hiphop playlists as bgm! and I’m an isfp-t, although it was different and an e before :)) have a good week ahead 💖 (4/4) (oops it’s only supposed to be 4 parts not 5 sorry for the typos!!)

✿ ✿ ✿

omg hello, honey bee!!! 💓 i’ve been doing good, and my weekend was great! i spent most of my time binging avatar, and i only have ten more episodes now until i’m done LOL and i’ve been getting lots of sleep, thank you! how have you been? how was your weekend, lovebug? 💘 omg both of those sound sooo good! 🤩 are you going to try a lemon cake with sugar glaze? or will it be a pound cake or a layer one? what type of lemon cake will it be? 💛

aaaah same, i don’t go searching for the food videos, but they pop up in my recommended, so i keep watching them and i get hungry at night too :’) omg i love b99 and kim’s convenience!!!! did you watch the latest season of kim’s convenience?? what did you think of the latest season’s ending for janet? :o oh gosh, i watched the sequel to to all the boys i’ve loved before, and that was highly disappointing for me akjshdflas ooo the marvel series are great! i’ve only kinda kept up with thor and ironman though 😅 have you started any new shows lately?

they should!!! they’re absolutely hilarious, but yes, i’m happy with anything we get too :’) so much content gets put out on their youtube channels, i’m so behind rip but yes!!! i’m really hoping hyuck is getting the rest he deserves and isn’t working himself too hard 💓 i’ve watched their weekly idol and idol room episodes! they’re really funny, especially that diss rap battle they had on idol room omg i also really like their song, pinwheel! 🌸

aaaaah there’s so many new boy groups, and i think i’m too old because it’s getting harder to keep up with all these groups now rip and yesss chungha never fails to release bangers 🤩🤩  oh my goodness, yes, how could i forget about fried noodles and rice?? those are quick and easy meals as well! i feel like most cooking is relatively easy, but i’m just always afraid that i’m not cleaning the meat or fish properly, so i stick to precut meat and whatnot. and me too! i think baking is more fun than cooking :’)

omg i love lauv and troye sivan! which songs of theirs are your favorite? ah, i only know the shawn mendes songs that play on the radio a lot 😅 and omg those lofi playlists are always so nice and soothing!!! 💗 oooo so we share half of the same traits for mbti! do you feel that i is more accurate than e? and thank you so much, sweetpea, i hope you have a good week, too!!! 🌼 (and you actually sent me 5 parts, so it’s all good, honey bee! 💕)

[the-real-tc]

Review: Heartland Ep. 1209--Long Road Back

I keep forgetting to post these things. (What follows is a more extensive review than I posted on FB)

(Not to be confused with Season 4, Episode 13: The Road Home.)

This episode was the follow-up to 1208 (Stress Fractures), focusing on three plot lines:

1)      Fairfield manager Laura’s “treatment” of Shooting Star in Lisa’s looooooooong absence, and Team Ty & Amy’s efforts to look after the horse’s health

2)      Georgie qualifying for the “Euro Tour” while flirting dangerously with an eating disorder to achieve perfection.

3)      Jack, Tim, and Mitch are not on the same page with a new deal in the works with Garland Foods in the midst of moving the herd to new pasture.

On point one, I have some positives and negatives. The main negatives are from two sources:

1)      Lisa’s absence and continued obliviousness to the whole Star situation. Here’s a case that as the owner of the business, regardless of her reason for being absent, she should be made aware!

2)      Laura’s reckless pursuit of a win, despite her “love” for horses she claims to have. Really? The way she was “treating” Star shows she cared more about making a winner that could “save” Fairfield financially and perhaps curry more favour with Lisa. Oh, sorry about that fractured leg you’re being forced to run on… But, if you could just stick it out for one more race; that’s a good girl, Star. Laura wuvs you…

Ty and Amy manage to get Star scratched from the race just in time, thanks to the track vet who takes Ty’s word for it that there’s a stress fracture in one of the fetlocks. From there, Amy angrily warns Laura she doesn’t want to know the lengths they’ll go to in order to protect Star. Ty accuses Laura of doing something, since Laura smugly tells him there is no bute in the horse’s system, which is odd, since the horse is apparently in zero discomfort. If it’s not bute (allowing the horse to be under the drug-testing threshold, as she was at the last race), then it has to be something else. Laura sticks to her silence on the matter as Amy and Ty bring Star to Heartland.

Point 2: Coach Kim, while disappointed and perplexed as to Georgie’s reason missing the latest show, informs her that she has a final chance to qualify for the whole Swiss thing: She must place nothing less than first at the Rocky Mountain Classic, which is two days away. No pressure, right? This means more running and more skipping meals for Georgie, because that’s what Coach Kim’s training advice would have her do, right?

Predictably, Georgie wins the Classic, but due to all the stress and over-exertion, lack of sustenance, etc., she collapses after winning. I won’t comment any further on this because I am not a health expert and not a dietician or mental health expert. All I will say is I am glad Georgie did not succumb to a worse fate and has her family’s support, and that in a different universe, on a different show, the stakes would have been much higher. Georgie might have developed a full-blown eating disorder, would most certainly not have won the event, and would have been forced to miss the Euro Tour while she went for professional treatment.

Point 3: Tim and Mitch go behind Jack’s back and meet with Fred Garland at Maggie’s on the matter of increasing the order for Garland Foods. Fred gives them a three-day deadline to come back to him with an answer, or he’s looking somewhere else. So now they have three days to convince Jack, to which I say: “good luck”.

Jack wants to hear nothing of expanding the herd when Mitch broaches the subject during a lunch-break while they’re driving the cattle to new pasture. Tim jumps in to say the he’s talked with neighbouring cattle rancher (“old man McMillan”) who’s open to the idea of their taking on his herd. Mitch eagerly says that way, they can meet Garland’s demand for more beef. Jack’s still not keen on the idea of selling beef they have not raised themselves; Tim shoots back that it would take a long time for that to happen. Mitch puts his foot in his mouth when he says they have no time, since Garland gave them three days…

Oops. Jack recognizes they went behind his back and is extremely sore about it.

Side-plot with a major digression: Tim introduces Fred to Lou, singing her praises about how she’s the owner of Maggie’s and has expanded it to be a franchise in NYC. Fred chats her up in a very polite, non-threatening way, and the two eventually go out on a casual date. Whether Lou agreed because she found him nice and potential dating material or to get under Mitch’s skin, I’ll never know. Because despite all signs that Fred Garland is actually a decent, pleasant, polite, business-savvy man who listened to Lou’s advice about how to improve his “brand”, the writers of course turned him into this insipid moron whose sole focus in life is grocery stores. Like some infantile six-year-old obsessed with dinosaurs, the last book Fred read was actually titled “Grocery”. His main goal when he travels is to see what other grocery stores are like. Really, dude? I’m surprised he’s able to form a coherent sentence and even ask out a woman on a date for all his one-track mindedness about groceries. Thumbs down, writers, on that character distortion. Now I’ll never be able to look at Fred and think that Team Heartland should be in business with him because of how inane a character you’ve made him.

Plot point 1: Back at Heartland, Star is really starting to show discomfort in the left fetlock. Ty confirms it’s not bute, but he still can’t figure what Laura might have done; something undetectable, perhaps. Jack confirms he’s tried to reach Lisa twice without getting an answer, so he’s had to leave a message for her to call Ty ASAP.

Unfortunately, Star won’t eat. Ty is distressed because she’s in acute renal failure. Laura shows up uninvited demanding to know why Star has not been returned to Fairfield. She’s still sticking to her story that bute is the only pain-killer she was using on Star. Ty’s not buying it and tells her to scram so they can get started on treatment. Amy starts working on her own holistic remedies while Ty gets an IV going. However, instead of welcoming Amy’s assistance (herbals; suggesting Cass do acupuncture, etc.), Ty has got tunnel-vision about the matter. He’s short with Amy and dismissive of her approach, as if he thinks it will have zero effect on Star’s health. At one point, he blurts out: “I’m sorry, Amy, but anything you do won’t matter if her kidneys fail, okay?” Their raised voices wake Lyndy, whose cries they both move to respond to, but a frustrated Amy goes, leaving Ty to deal with Star for the time being.

The next morning, things have cooled down, and Star is showing improvement. Ty credits the fluids; Amy says she had Cass come by to do some acupuncture. They talk over their latest argument, each apologizing and finding excuses for their angry words and reactions (“I was exhausted and it came out wrong” and “Maybe I was too over-sensitive”). Amy has put devil’s claw in Star’s feed, but she still won’t eat.

A contrite Laura returns, waving the white flag. She admits she did wrong but begs not to be cut out of Star’s life. Ty still wants to prevent her from getting anywhere near the horse, but Amy notices Star’s reaction to the Fairfield manager: positive and upbeat. Amy thinks Laura could help them help Star. And she’s right: Laura never meant to hurt Star (not intentionally), and the horse sees her as a friend and her familiar presence in unfamiliar surroundings, which gets her to actually eat again.

Plot point 3: The Further Misadventures of Jack, Tim & Mitch. While Tim insists on being “T-boss” (that’s “trail boss”) for this cattle drive, Jack grudgingly allows him, all the while probably waiting for him to mess things up, which he does. Tim’s “short-cut” actually leads to them losing a pile of time due to a river that was quite a bit more active than he had anticipated. Attempts to push them through fail utterly, and Jack wants to take back control and go back to their original route. Tim balks at this and says that what Jack says isn’t always right; not about the herd, and not about their business, either. Tim believes Jack will wreck their deal with Garland; Jack doesn’t want to hear about it at the moment and declares they’re pushing the herd back to the original route. At the conclusion of driving the cattle, Jack further puts his foot down: he is not going to jeopardize the quality of their beef by expanding the herd. Shortcuts are not the solution. Tim thinks Jack is outnumbered since it is a partnership, after all, but Mitch is starting to see that Jack might be right and takes his side; says they know Garland wants their beef, so maybe the three-day deadline is a bluff. Tim shoves off in disgusted disappointment.

Plot point one: Laura comes back, one last time, to say goodbye to Star, and to tell them she has sent in her resignation to Lisa. Ty asks if she thinks they’re just going to let her move on to another stable, which she denies is what will happen, claiming she’ll taking a break from the race horse racket. She promises she won’t throw them under the bus by going to the press like she said she would. Ty finally gets her to admit what she did to Star: shock-wave therapy, which is illegal to use on race horses prior to races, and which actually has analgesic effects. Incensed, Ty and Amy demand Laura take her leave immediately.

Sidebar: If Lisa never hears about this incident, I will feel very cheated. An entire story arc was spent following one of her members of staff, at her stable, and one of her horses needed treatment. What happened was scandalous and could result in legal action against Lisa and Fairfield, yet we’re somehow supposed to accept that because Laura admitted her guilt, is sorry, and ha resigned, and because Star is recovering that this is somehow all okay. It’s not. They have an ethical, legal, and moral duty to report that cheating occurred at the race Star won. Will it happen? I guess we’ll see in the final two episodes.

[kimseunghuwun]

YG Treasure Box Episode 5: Reaction

im having a bad timeeeeeeee

okay again starting right in the action

the next challenger chosen by blackpink will be announced

hyunsuk is chosen

hes so cute

aw everyone cheering

haruto is scared poor thing

AW HES TINY

so its either yoonbin or junghwan hes challengin

wow that music sure is funky

hes going against junghwan

junghwan is so scared omg poor thing

wow roast

everyone thinks hyunsuk is going to debut

a blast from the past, montage time

ughhhhhhhh yg critising him again and again

no bby dont cry

okay theyre starting

is that junghwans voice? i love it?

ughh so good

theyre working together so well i forget its a battle

the audience is struggling to decide lol

THEYRE SO TINY NEXT TO THE MC

im going to keep saying this

okay now junghwan chooses a card

he picks silver (audience vote?)

dun dun dun dun

everyone is shocked??

it's up to yg? whats the point of letting then choose a card?

audience picked hyunsuk

"this is the hardest decision ive ever had to make" ??? r u sure yg

ugh the music what a bop

HE PICKED JUNGHWAN,,,,,

whats the point of the silver card if yg decides anyway????????????????

ugh he seems so disappointed i feel bad :(

bbyyyyyyyyyy dont cry plz :'(((

next challenger:::

"the challenger lisa picked"

aka lisas bias

KIM SEUNGHUNNNNNNNNNNNN

junkyu loses his mind

everyone loses their mind

ugh wow

lmao hes almost the same height as the present

he picks junkyu

(the theories were wrong??)

"seunghun is like a wall you can't climb up" WOW

everyone talking about how great my bby is

@yg ARE YOU LISTENING

ugh my ears are BLESSED

lol junkyu shaking his head

all the vocals are SHAKING

HE PICKED MASHIHO

(theories were right after all)

junkyu is so relieved he drops to the floor

aw mashiho is cute

im sO EXCITED

sorry lol

wow awesome flooring

im scared

ohhhhh mashiho is goood

ughh seunghun yess

my ears are BLESSED pt 2

seunghun yelling?? yes?

aw them looking at eacch other

HIGH NOTESS

aw sitting in each others chair

everyone liked it ofc

(how tall is the mc even?)

im scaredd

mashiho picks the gold card

again yg picks

(will we see the day yg acknowledges seunghuns existence??)

(ill be honest i had to look up both acknowledge and existence for spelling)

its mashiho

WHYYYYYG

yg thought his emotion was too much?????????

wtf is that

of course the audience picked seunghun

im so mad about this

BBY DONT CRY

:'(

next time seunghun cries on this show and its not from happiness im going to punch myself in the face

everyones crying

im also crying

aw the others comforting him

next is yoshinori vs yoonbin

theyre not even showing the full thing??

it sound great anyway

yoshinori loses

aw bby is also crying

(im gonna need to punch a wall after this)

next is ..

and its a montage

about byounggon

hes cool i like him

aw helping yoshinori with korean

jyunhao is next

(is this the part where yedam leaves??)

aw he cute

vocals are scared

junkyu's reactions are amazing

oh my god the dark smoke around yedams picture

hes the only one who picked yedam lol

yedams vocals thoo

lol noona fangirl

(tbh yedam gives me shawn mendes vibes help)

jyunhao is also very

all the noonas are uwuing

the harmony tho

yg is uwuing lol

votinngg....

i think i finally understand the card system

the gold card isnt always ygs choice and silver isnt always audience, its random

its ygs choice

"first of all, i really like ceo" oh my god

everyone uwus

(i really like yedams outfit?)

yedam wins

jyunhao is still smiling tho

PLOT TWIST

theyre choosing 2 more challengers to battle the remaining treasure members

wow that preview is brutal

anywayyyss

i cried, we all cried, it was a bad time

will yg finally realise seunghun has more talent in his pinky finger than yg has in his whole body?? find out next time on yg treasure box

anyways astrid out

[cherrii--bomb]

When My Bias Became My Bias

Tagged by: the lovely @daehwintermelon~! ^^ 

IVE TRIED TO WRITE THIS 3 TIMES BUT MY LAPTOP KEEPS CRASHING SO HERE I AM ON MY PHONE XJSKXOAKZLA

I’m tagging @asianbro10, @furryowo, @gwikimchi, @wlwleefelix, @mansaechamsae and whoever else would like to do it~ ^^

In no particular order ^^

1. Daehwi - Wanna One

When Daehwi first became my bias, I was watching the episode of Weekly Idol that they we're in. When the Random Play Dance section came up, he caught my attention, his adorable Orange Sweater and Overals combo. He was being super cheeky and adorable. I tried to tell myself that he wouldn't be my bias, but to no avail, here we are~ hehe ✨

2. Seo Changbin - Stray Kids

After listening to Hellevator, I thought Jisung was my bias, right? He’s an incredible rapper and great vocalist! But after listening to 3RACHA (Chan, Jisung and Changbin) and their song "Runners High", I actually don't know why or how, I just kept repeating Changbin’s part over and over. I liked his part a lot. And after that, whenever I heard their songs, I found myself anticipating his parts in the songs~ hehe ^^

3. Joy - Red Velvet

Back in 2015 when "Ice Cream Cake" first came out, because they're the first group I had gotten into I knew nothing. So after a month or so of being into K-Pop I learned a lot! Funnily enough, before that I didn't have a favourite, for any group I knew. One night I just wanted to watch Music Videos, so I decided to watch Red Velvets, and their song "Happiness"! I loved her rap and her vocals, and her hair was so pretty back then too!!

4. Yoo Jeongyeon - TWICE

Before I got into TWICE, I was listening to mainly boy groups other than Red Velvet, unintentionally of course~. So I decided that I'd go through and look at a couple of girl groups, get into them ^^ When I watched the "Cheer Up" MV, Jeongyeon caught my eye because she was the only one with short hair, and I thought she looked super pretty! She didn't have many lines, which made me sad, but her vocals were so sweet and smooth to listen to~ the "Ooh-Ahh" music video just made it clear that she was my bias🙈

5. Choi Youngjae - GOT7

My first Ult Bias~! To be completely honest, the way I got into GOT7 was because of a slip of a finger, a misclick. I was watching BTS Music Videos, and my phone happened to freeze at that time and it thought I clicked on the "Just Right" music video. I didn't, but I thought "what the hell, why not". So after listening to the music and watching the music video, I just found him super cute and giggly, my attention was drawn to him more and more every song, and soon enough, he became my ult bias with his adorable antics and him just being him.

6. Kim Wonpil - DAY6

I remember listening to the "Daydream" album and "The Day" album after listening to "Congratulaions" for the first time. I was in love with them, they were the first band I'd heard in K-Pop, I loved it! When I first heard "Letting Go" in the "Daydream" album and "Colours" in the "The Day" album, his voice stuck out to me, but I didn't know who it was. His voice stuck out to me it sounded so calm and gentle, but it held a lot of emotion and power. His voice is very soothing to me, and it just makes me happy ^^

7. Bora - SISTAR

Bora is probably the idol I admire the most. I remember when I was watching Hit The Stage, I had heard of SISTAR and Bora before, but I just happened to never get into them then. When I saw her performances I thought she was so pretty and so cool! After her performances, she made me want to see more of her~! Her interactions with Shownu (Monsta X) were adorable and showing she has a cute and playful side too! Also when she had her rib pain but opted to dance anyway, pushing through and completing the dance, even though she was in pain, it made me really admire her. I love her a lot.

[xumxnghao]

all pf them

under a read more it goes

we are bulletproof: if you could be any superhero, who would you be and why?

spiderman! walking on walls seems cool

no more dream: if you woke up tomorrow to be incredibly famous, how would you react?

“yeah this is how it’s meant to be” (do I 100% expect to be famous in the future? yes)

i like it: if you could reverse any moment in your life, what would that moment be?

throwback to middle school when my best friend confessed to me and I told her I’d date her if i were a boy

n.o: biggest pet peeve?

i don’t really have any big pet peeves but I hate the sound of nails draggin on the weird ceiling material in cars

we on: how do you deal with people who don’t like you?

avoid them like the plague bc i have Anxiety

if i ruled the world: what would you do if you found out that you were an heir to a wealthy kingdom?

possibly have a panic attack but like money

coffee: what’s your coffee order?

green tea frappe with a shot of espresso bc i’m living that college student life of no sleep and only caffeine

cypher pt. 1: if you had to be part of a kpop group, what position would you want to be (i.e. leader, visual, lead vocal, dancer, rapper, maknae, etc.)

i’d WANT to be dancer, but realistically id probably be a singer

rise of bangtan: when and how did you get into the king and legends, also known as bangtan sonyeondan?

uh i remember i listened to fire a while ago and it wasn’t exactly my style and i thought bts was kind of overhyped so i didn’t really listen to them much until like a month are blood sweat and tears came out and i finally decided to watch and mv bank with them and i thought they were funny and it was really just a downward spiral from there

satoori rap: what does home mean to you?

home has no meaning to me bc it’s always been riddled with fear

boy in luv: when you are interested in someone (romantically, sexually, etc.), does your behavior change?

i mean i flirt more but that’s just cause im a libra :/

just one day: who would you want to spend the last day of your life with?

i think i’d want time alone

tomorrow: goal that you would like to achieve within the next year?

finish learning korean

cypher pt. 2: one thing about yourself you wish people would appreciate more?

there’s nothing to appreciate about me lol

spine breaker: what is your weakness when it comes to spending money?

i love stationary

jump: favorite childhood memory?

once in kindergarten we were painting pots for mother’s day. I was the kind of kid that liked to work ahead so i just started painting, but the pot was upside down so when i turned it over it just said “wow” instead of “mom”

miss right: what is your ideal ‘type’?

kim taehyung, park jimin, or xu minghao

i like it pt. 2: dream date?

I love amusement park dates

danger: have you ever had a near-death experience?

i nearly died of alcohol poisoning once. that’s a story.

war of hormone: most embarrassing moment?

when i was like in 8th grade i thought weed and pot were two different things and I’ve never lived that down

hip hop lover: three songs that are meaningful to you?

Should i just do BTS songs?

Move, Love is Not Over, Hold Me Tight

let me know: are you good at keeping secrets?

i like to think i am

rain: most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

i took a day trip to Houston without telling my dad while my mom was in China

cypher pt. 3: favorite outfit to wear?

i got a new Fila hoodie in japan that’s bomb af and i look great in it plus my white hat with the long tail and my adidas samoas

blanket kick: longest time you’ve spent lying in bed (sleeping or not)?

idk how long i spent in bed but once i had a depressive episode so bad that my phone only marked 19 steps on that day

24/7 = heaven: what are you most looking forward to?

SEVENTEEN CONCERT AND MEETING SEVENTEEN

look here: do you have any hidden talents?

I can hum and beatbox at the same time

second grade: proudest accomplishment?

I finished 12 years of music theory, got put in the TMEA pamphlet and got some money from it too

i need u: are you in love?

i need u girl

hold me tight: does physical contact comfort you?

no

love is not over: ever had your heart broken?

:)

dead leaves: how loyal are you?

very

move: last time you cried?

I nearly cried at the airport leaving Japan because my best friend is staying there for college and I won’t be able to drive a street down to see her anymore, but I don’t cry much so I didn’t actually shed a tear.

I did however shed a single tear because of some gifs of jimin this morning

butterfly: most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

answered

run: do you like traveling? if so, where? what’s your dream vacation?

i love travelling and i actually just experienced my dream vacation in japan. I guess my next one would be korea

ma city: if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

seoul. I want to be an MV producer for idols

baepsae: do you vote and/or keep up with politics?

not especially, but I should bc i used to be a journalist

dope: what did you want to be when you were younger? how does it compare to what you want to be now?

i wanted to be a vet and now i’m going into film so there’s a pretty big gap

fire: are you a spontaneous person?

I’m an istp so yes

save me: your favorite place on earth?

im bad at choosing favorites, i’d like to think that i’m not tied down

young forever: what is one movie from your childhood that you will always treasure?

mulan

boys with fun: you’re going on a roadtrip with seven other people– dead, alive, fictional, real, famous, or not. who are they, and why?

sam, sarah, sara, kim taehyung, park jimin, xu minghao, and mark tuan

converse high: how many pairs of shoes do you own?

jesus wait lemme count

at least 14

whalien 52: weirdest thing that has ever happened to you? alternatively, weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

once after a 4th of july fireworks show my friend and i stopped at a gas station for drinks and this very obviously high dude in the car next to me said to me from his seat “yo dude u okay? u like… saw the paranoia i felt” and i had to reassure him that i was fine and i was going home soon

and i don’t like to think about my dreams bc theyre usually nightmares

house of cards: when was the last time you felt sexy?

like 2 years ago when i took the best selfies of my life

boy meets evil: have you ever committed a crime? if so, what was it? alternatively, what is the worst thing you have ever done?

i mean ive smoked weed

i snorted xanax once but after that night i decided to never do that again

blood, sweat, & tears: kinkiest kink you have?

i…. am not sure yall are ready for this information

begin: who are you most grateful for in your life?

i dont think i have an answer for this

lie: biggest fear?

abandonment. which lead to my fear of commitment and attachment

stigma: would you rather know the date of your death or the cause of your death?

cause

first love: do you believe in soulmates?

i’d like to

reflection: if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

don’t go to the counselor

mama: are you good at giving advice?

not even a little bit

awake: if you had to be a flower, which flower would you be?

i’m not sure which I’d actually be but i love peonies

lost: how good are you with directions? do you get lost easily?

i’m pretty god with directions. I don’t usually get lost

cypher pt. 4: what do you do to treat yourself or relax?

i clean the shit out of my face

am i wrong: you wake up one morning in the hospital, knowing only your name and a single memory from your life. what is that memory?

damn well i wish i just lost all my memories

21st century girls: do you prefer texting, calling, or video chatting?

texting

2!3!: your favorite thing about bangtan?

how fucking weird and unapologetic they are

spring day: who do you miss right now?

my bed

not today: what are your procrastinating right now?

i need to pay rent and my class fees but i’m not

wings: on airplanes, do you prefer the window seat, the middle seat, or the aisle seat?

i like aisle seats for long flights and window seats for short flights

you never walk alone: how many people do you trust with your life?

maybe 2 ?

[emulateharry]

story of my life

Chapter 15

Thanks to @niallandharrymakemestrong and @melissas173.  I say this often but I could not do it without you.  And to you, @whoopsharrystyles, thank you for always encouraging me.

WARNING: This one is intense. 

Sergeant Oliver Williams was sat in his response car at a Starbucks drive-through when the call came from the dispatcher.  A panic alarm had been activated at a home in Hampstead Heath.  He was only a couple of miles away from there and acknowledged that he was on his way.  He drove skillfully through the light traffic with lights flashing but no siren. The dispatcher had told him that another unit would meet him there as back up. When he arrived at the large white home a few minutes later, he noticed that the security door in the wall surrounding the property was slightly ajar.  He looked up and down the street but it was empty.  He was surveying the exterior of the home when the second response car arrived and he was joined by Constable Kate Jones.  Together they went through the security door and walked to the entrance of what appeared to be a dining room.  Keeping alert to movement and unusual noises, they approached the French doors.  They were standing open.  

Kate nodded at Sergeant Williams and he called into the home, “This is the Metropolitan Police.”  There was no response.   He called out a second time, and again there was no answer.  With Sergeant Williams leading the way, the officers stepped into the room.  Just to the left of the door there was blood smeared on the wall and floor.  A vase of silk flowers lay overturned on the large table, blood smears visible on the base.  There were drops of blood in a trail on the floor leading to the adjacent room.  Following the trail, the officers paused at the doorway to a sitting room to listen for movement, hearing none they turned the corner. The sight that greeted them made Kate Jones gasp out loud.  The room was large and spacious with three white walls and an accent wall of moss green.  The furniture was upholstered in light colors, almost pastels. It was the light colors that made the brilliant red of the blood stand out in contrast.  There were round stains of blood on the blond hardwood floor, smears on the walls and nearly every surface had at least one pool or spray.  The tangy, metallic smell of the blood hit them as they walked carefully into the room, trying not to disturb any evidence in their path.  As the officers neared the couch, they saw the bodies of two females on the floor beside the coffee table.  Moving swiftly, they continued through the house making sure that no assailant remained hidden.  Once the house was secure, they hurried back to the two women in the sitting room. Pulling nitrile gloves from their vest pockets, they checked each of the females.  Both were alive but unconscious.  Constable Jones began giving aid to the more injured of the two while Sergeant Williams headed out to his vehicle to retrieve his official departmental camera. On the way, he called for ambulances and the crime scene unit and asked that the Criminal Investigative Division be alerted. It took 10 minutes for the ambulances to arrive.  The sergeant had quickly documented the scene with his camera so that the women could be moved without disturbing the evidence.  Hearing the medical teams arrive through the still open outer door, he went to meet them and escort them into the home.  The paramedics followed Sergeant Williams into the sitting room, their steps faltering just a bit when they saw the sheer amount of blood on the walls, floor and furniture.  Seeing Constable Jones on the floor holding pressure to multiple stab wounds, they hurried to assess the patient.  With the help of the second ambulance crew, they got her up on the stretcher and out the door in only a few minutes.  Sirens blaring, they headed for the nearest trauma center.  The second female was much less severely injured but was still transported to the A&E.  With the women en route to the hospital, the police officers cordoned off the entry door with crime scene tape and waited for the investigative teams to arrive. * The red phone in the Emergency department shrilled insistently. The nurse closest answered “King’s College A & E” “This is Kim, EMS unit #123 paramedic #2933, en route to your location.  We have a white female who appears to be in her mid-twenties, with blunt force trauma from a cricket bat to the frontal parietal and occipital areas of the head. Patient was unconscious upon arrival with a Glasgow Coma score of 8. She has multiple stab wounds to the abdomen, right thigh and left forearm. Bleeding is controlled by direct pressure. Patient has been nasally intubated and is on 100% O2. Two 16 gauge IVs in the forearms with lactated ringer’s wide open.  We have an ETA of 10 min.” The nurse thanked the paramedic, hung up the phone and announced loudly “Trauma team to resus room! Multiple stab wounds—ten minutes!” * The large automatic sliding doors opened and two paramedics wheeled the stretcher in, heading straight to the resuscitation room in the back of the emergency department.  They were followed closely by two crime scene officers who had met them at the entrance.  The trauma team was assembled and ready.  The lead physician, Dr. Martin Ashton, stood aside as his team of nurses, a junior doctor, and assistants went to work moving the patient from the gurney to the ER bed, hanging her intravenous fluids and connecting the oxygen cannula to the port on the wall behind.  A nurse cut off her clothing and placed it in a bag for the evidence officer who was carefully collecting scrapings from under her nails and swabbing her hands.  A camera clicked as the police officer photographed her wounds. The paramedic was stood back from the actions and catalogued the injuries for the team. “She has a slash incise wound to her left cheek, two slash incise wounds to her left forearm, a penetrating incise wound to her right thigh, a penetrating incise wound to her abdomen, a laceration on her right frontal…” and the list went on.  A second nurse and the junior doctor were assessing the gashes, sponging blood away then repeating as they continued to ooze.  There were monitors beeping, crackles as sterile packages were opened, clinks as metal instruments met metal trays.   It all looked like controlled chaos.   Dr. Ashton.  Staff.  Melissa. “Do we know her name?”  Dr. Ashton asked the paramedics.

“She had no identification on her person.  There may something at the scene.”

Melissa, the young nurse holding pressure on the scalp laceration, which was bleeding profusely, used a gauze sponge to wipe blood from the patient’s face.  She let out a small gasp of surprise.  “This is Kacey Day!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!  I am a big fan of hers.”

There was a pause in the action for just a beat as the team looked at the young woman’s face. “Need some steri-strips for that cut on her cheek.”

“Place a catheter, please, then collect a urinalysis and send it to the lab.”

“There is a contusion on her left shoulder, might be a dislocation.”

“I want a CBC and a type and crossmatch for 2 units right away.  Get a PT and PTT, and a CMP as well.”

“Blood pressure is 90 over 50.  Heart rate is 125.”

“Alert CT that we are on our way for a full body scan and call the OT and have them prepare.  Call the surgeon too; Miss Brannock is on this evening.” “She’s going to need the plastic surgeon for these cuts on her face and that forehead laceration. Let Mr. Jones-Kensington know.” (to the evidence constables) “Have you finished?  Good.  Let’s get her to CT please.”

The Computerized Tomography scanner is a large donut shaped machine that takes hundreds of sequential x-rays and compiles them into 3 dimensional views of the patient.  Dr. Ashton accompanied her to the CT suite and watched the scan from the control room.  Kacey lay on the sliding table as it moved slowly into the scanner.

“Hmm, no fracture on her parietal or occipital.  Good.“The patient does have a left shoulder dislocation, good call Melissa. The 3rd and 4th ribs are fractured.  The abdominal wound has missed her liver and bowel.  The thigh wound has missed her femoral and the forearm wound is clear of her nerves and blood vessels.  This young woman is very lucky though she may not think so.” * Back in the resus room, the monitor on the wall beeped out the fast rhythm of Kacey’s heart. “Dr. Jonah, you’re the junior here.  Do you want to do the shoulder reduction before we send her to the surgeon?   Be mindful of those lacerations.”

“Doctor, the CBC is back. The haemoglobin is 6.5.”

“Thank you.  Call the blood bank and see where they are on that crossmatch.  She needs those units now, if they are not ready we’ll take them uncrossmatched. Yes, I’ll sign the emergency release forms. Tell them we’ll need two more for a total of four and have them stay two ahead.”

“The packed cells are here? Good, push them.”

“Doctor, the OT is ready and Miss Brannock is scrubbing now.”

“Okay, let’s get her up there.  Move!”

Melissa accompanied the patient as she was wheeled to the operating theatre.  At the entrance to the surgical suite, as she turned her over to the OT personnel, she leaned down and said “Hang in there Kacey.  Don’t give up.”  The orderly took the head of the bed and pushed through the automatic doors which closed with a muted whoosh.  The nurse looked at them for a moment and turned to walk back to the A&E. * Harry was back in the green room, which was not actually green but a calming shade of blue, after appearing on this season’s first episode of ‘Talking with James Corden.’  It was a limited series of interviews that James was doing for the BBC while on hiatus from his Late Late show in America.  Harry had agreed to be on the show several months ago but, if it hadn’t been James, he would have canceled.  He was in no mood to be witty or charming.  He had returned from the interview, annoyed with his performance and removed the stage makeup, huffing in frustration.  His assistant had packed up his clothes and toiletries hurriedly and left, glad to escape his dour mood.  He was sat on the sofa staring blankly at the Monet print on the wall waiting for James to finish up so that they could go to dinner. There was a knock on the door before James poked his head in.  His forehead was furrowed but otherwise his expression was neutral as was his tone.  

“Harry, there are some police officers here.  They want to speak with you.”  

The door opened wider to reveal a man and a woman stood next to him.

 “Mr. Styles?  I am Detective Chief Inspector Margaret Sheppard.  May we have a word with you in private?”  

They moved into the room as James backed out and closed the door behind him. “Have you found her?  Is she okay? Where is she?”  Harry sat up and leaned forward.

“Where is who, Mr. Styles?”

“My girlfriend, Kassidy Day.  I filed the missing persons report…” his voice trailed off as the officers exchanged a look.

The detective spoke again, “Mr. Styles, two hours ago Metropolitan Police responded to a panic alarm at your home.  On arrival, the constables found the door unsecured.  They called inside but received no answer.  One of the constables saw traces of blood in the entryway and the officers entered.”

Harry stared at the inspector with wide eyes.

“Inside they located two females, both unconscious, neither having any identification. There appears to have been a struggle.  Both were transported to hospital.  Do you have a picture of Ms. Day?”

Harry reached for his phone with shaking hands.  “This is the most recent one I have” he said, handing his phone to the detective.   She looked at the picture, one from Christmas morning with Harry and Kacey wearing matching red bows on their foreheads, laughing at the camera.

“This appears to be one of the females.  Do you have any idea who the other one could be?”

Harry shook his head, a stricken look in his face.

“Mr. Styles, may we have your permission to gather evidence in your home?”

Harry nodded numbly, panic slowly rising.

“If you will come with us, we’ll take you to King’s College.”         * The drive to King’s College was a blur to Harry.  The detectives were talking in the front seat of the police car as he sat quietly in the rear. They would not tell him what had happened, specifically.  They would not tell him anything at all, really.  He sat motionless staring out the window all other emotions dulled by the fear that had gripped him when the officers had walked into the room.  He knew that it was bad, their demeanor suggested as much.  He only hoped that his imagination was much worse than the reality.  He was still staring out the window when the female detective opened his door.  He hadn’t noticed that they had arrived. Harry stood in the reception area of the A&E while the detectives spoke to the staff at the desk unaware of the glances he was receiving from people in the waiting room.  The staff noticed though, as mobile phones began to appear all aimed at him.  They quickly ushered him back into the emergency department to avoid a scene.  Dr. Ashton was busy with another patient but Melissa was able to come talk to him.

“Mr. Styles?”  

Harry was staring blankly at the red phone on the wall.

“Harry?” she said softly, touching his arm.  He turned to look at her.

“I’m Melissa.  I was here when Ms. Day was brought in.  She’s in surgery right now.  She has multiple injuries and is in critical condition.  I can take you to a private waiting room and Miss Brannock, the surgeon, will come talk to you when the surgery is over.”

Harry simply nodded at her.  DCI Sheppard handed him her card.  

“Please let me know if you have any questions Mr. Styles.”  

Harry shook her hand and then followed Melissa through the warren of hallways to a private sitting room to wait for the surgeon.  

Before leaving him, she asked “May I get you anything?  A bottle of water?  A cup of tea?”  Harry just shook his head.  

She left him there, closing the door quietly behind her.  He stood for a moment in the middle of the small room unsure what to do. He moved to one of the chairs directly across from the door and sat down.  Clasping his hands in his lap, he contemplated the floor tiles.  He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there when there was a slight commotion in the hallway outside the door.  He looked up as the door burst open and James walked in.  Harry had never been happier to see his face than that moment.  James would know what to do.  

“Harry! Mate, I finally found you.  Been all over the bloody hospital trying to find this room.”  

He moved swiftly to where Harry was slowly rising from the chair and enveloped him in a hug, holding him tightly.  Harry buried his face in James’ neck and tried to draw comfort from his friend.  James finally released him and they sat next to one another.

 “I’ve called your mum.  She’s on her way.  She was still at Gem’s so they should be here soon.  I’ll call Jeff.  Oh! And Jenny so that she can clear your schedule.”

James set to making his phone calls but kept a hand on Harry’s arm, patting him.  Moments later the door opened again and Anne Twist walked in with Gemma just behind her.  She walked straight to Harry and took him in her arms.

 “My boy.  Oh, sweetheart.  I’m so sorry.”

She held him tightly, stroking his hair, murmuring words of comfort.  Gemma stood next to them holding his hand.  There was a perfunctory knock on the door before the surgeon walked into the room, still in her scrubs.

“Mr. Styles?”  Harry nodded, eyes wide as he looked at her questioningly.

“I am Miss Brannock.  Ms. Day, as you know, has suffered a severe attack.  She was stabbed multiple times, but fortunately no major organs or blood vessels were damaged.  We have cleaned those wounds and repaired them.  She had two deep cuts on her forearm that we have also cleaned and stitched up.  She received a blow to her head that caused the skin to tear and she has a deep gash on her cheek.  Mr. Kensington-Jones, the plastic surgeon, is repairing those as we speak.  A concern we have is the amount of blood loss.  Ms. Day lost approximately half her blood volume.  She has been transfused but we will be watching carefully for problems related to that haemorrhage.  The blow to her head that I mentioned has not caused a fracture or intracranial bleed, thankfully, according to the MRI.  There does not seem to be any brain swelling.  We will also be monitoring closely for that as it can show up hours after the injury.  She does have two fractured ribs but they are intact and caused no punctures to any of her organs.”  Miss Brannock paused, then asked “Do you have any questions for me?” Harry sank into the chair mutely.  

Anne asked “Will we be able to see her?”

“As soon as the surgery is over, she will be taken to a room in the trauma intensive care unit.  She should be able to have one or two visitors at a time there.” Miss Brannock looked at Harry’s stricken face and said gently “Mr. Styles, I expect her to make a full recovery.  She seems to be a fighter.”  

Anne thanked the surgeon as she walked her to the door.   Then she walked back to Harry and knelt down in front of him.  Tears were filling his eyes and he whispered “Oh Mum.  Mummy, I love her so much.”  Anne held him as he sobbed uncontrollably. * After spending three hours in surgery and two in the recovery room, Kacey was moved to the trauma ICU.  Her nurse, Dawn, had just finished making her assessments and verifying that all the monitors were functioning properly.  The clerk at the desk across from the room called to her to see if Kacey could have visitors.  Dawn agreed to two at a time and the clerk pressed the lock release on the door to the unit to allow them to enter.   Harry, face still a little puffy from crying, walked in with Anne at his side.  The nurse greeted him at the door to Kacey’s room and introduced herself.

“How is she?” Harry asked tentatively eyeing all the tubes and wires.

“At the moment she is in a coma.  Her coma score is 8.  A fully conscious person would be a 15.  She will respond to pain but not to verbal commands.  Her eyes are not open and she makes no sounds.  To be fair, she has just been in a trauma and had surgery so she may just need more time before waking up. But her vital signs are good and her labs all look good.”

“Can she hear me?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe.  She may just be unable to respond.  It definitely won’t hurt to talk to her.”

Harry thanked the nurse and entered Kacey’s room.  He walked around to the far side of the bed and carefully, making sure to avoid pulling on the IV, took her small hand in his large ones.  It was cold.  Her face was swollen and bruised. He wasn’t sure he would have recognized her.  There were stitches in her cheek and along her hairline.  She did not move except to breathe. He was gently stroking her hand with his thumb and said softly “Oh baby girl.  Oh, sweet girl, what have I done to you?” He reached out to touch her cheek and noticed dried blood in her hair.   He bent close to her ear and whispered.

 “Baby, I’m so sorry.  So, so, sorry.  Can you hear me? Kassidy Christina Day, I love you.  Come back to me baby.  Please.  Come back to me.”

The anguish in Harry’s voice broke Anne’s heart. * Harry sat in a chair in Kacey’s room, holding her hand.  The day shift nurse had moved some of the equipment back so that he could be near her head.  He sat listening to the beep of the heart monitor, taking comfort that it was steady.  He had been next to her all night, refusing to leave when his mom and Gemma suggested he go home to get some rest.  At the moment, he was dwelling on the phone call he had made to her father. He could still hear the panic in her dad’s voice as he asked questions that Harry couldn’t answer.  He had offered to arrange a private plane to bring him to London but Mr. Day could not leave his wife alone with their younger children.  He wanted to bring the whole family but his wife thought that travel would have been too hard on Kassidy’s little sister who had special needs.  Understanding his torment, Harry promised to keep him updated regularly.  He had felt a twinge of anger at Kacey’s stepmother for making it even more difficult for her father.  He suspected that she tried to convince him that his primary duty was to her and their children together not to the daughter of his beloved first wife.  He wasn’t so sure that Mr. Day agreed with that, but did not want to cause the man any more stress by bringing attention to it. Harry had also called Laura.  She was still angry with him and had almost hung up on him before he could tell her what had happened.  Laura was shocked but tamped down her worry and immediately went into crisis management mode.   She booked the next flight to London while on the phone with Harry.  She would be there that evening and assured him that she would help him in any way she could.  Just before hanging up she said “Harry, I know you fucked up but I also know that you love her.  She’ll be okay.  She is the most stubborn woman I know.” His phone vibrated in his pocket with an unfamiliar number.  He answered and then stepped outside the room to talk.  It was DCI Sheppard.

“Mr. Styles, we have finished with your residence.  You are free to return home.  I would like to recommend a special cleaning service to you.”

“Why do I need a special cleaning service?”

“The scene, in your lounge, is quite unsettling.  To be blunt, Mr. Styles, there is a lot of blood.  There are several services that specialize in crime scene clean up.”

Harry’s brain latched onto ‘crime scene’, the tenor of the words penetrating his shock induced cocoon.

“We will leave an officer to guard your house until someone can secure it.  He will give you the information about the cleaners.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

They rang off just as Niall entered the trauma unit.  He walked up to Harry and hugged him fiercely.

“How are you holding up?”

“Not very well, to be honest.” Getting right to the point Harry added, “Niall, I have to go home to get some clothes and lock it up. Will you drive me?  I don’t have a car here.”

“Of course.  I’ll call for the car.  I can help you pack some things and then bring you back.”

Harry spoke to the nurse and made sure that she had his numbers in case of any change in Kacey’s condition.   He and Niall then walked out to meet the car.  The trip to his house took about 10 minutes.  Niall kept up a one-sided conversation on the ride.  Arriving at the gate, they got out and Harry entered the security code for the door.  The police officer met them on the other side.

“Mr. Styles, I am Constable Jones” she said, offering him her hand.  

Harry shook it, then introduced Niall.  The constable handed him the information about the crime scene cleaners and then cleared her throat.

“Sir, I know that this is a bit irregular, but may ask about her condition?”

“Are you a fan of hers?”

“Um. No sir, I don’t even know her name.  I was one of the first officers on the scene and I was…I was hoping that she was doing okay.”

“You found her?”  It was almost a shout.  He reached out to hug her. “Thank you.  Thank you so much.  You saved her life.”  

Both of them were crying.  Through his tears Harry gave her an update on Kacey’s condition.  He thanked the constable profusely and turned to walk into the house.  She watched him go, wishing that she could remove the dreadfulness he was walking towards. Harry and Niall walked into the dining room.  Harry stopped at the blood on the wall and stared transfixed.   After what felt like hours, he continued on, forcing his feet to move toward the door to the lounge.  Niall was right behind him when they stepped through the door.  Harry sank to his knees in horror.  Niall ran to the bathroom down the hall and vomited. Harry could not move.  He was frozen in place looking at all the blood, all of Kacey’s blood spilled out onto the floor and walls and furniture.  His beautiful girl.  How was she even alive?  His precious girl.  He began to wheeze, the stress triggering an asthma attack.  Gasping for air, he flinched when a hand pressed his shoulder.  Constable Jones had walked back inside.  She bent down and put her hand on his elbow then tugged slightly to get him to move.  Harry stood and let her lead him out of the room.   She went to the bathroom to look for an inhaler.  She also found Niall there and brought him to Harry.  Once he could breathe again, she asked if there was something that she could fetch for him and went to the master bedroom on the third floor to retrieve a go bag that Harry always kept packed and ready.  Kate Jones then helped Harry lock up the house and security gate and get into the car.  She tucked her card into his jacket pocket in case he should need anything else, then closed the door to the SUV and watched them drive away before climbing into her response car.  As they pulled away, Harry was uncertain that he would ever live in that house again.

After going to Kacey’s flat so that Harry could shower, they headed back to the hospital.  Anne was sitting with Kacey when he arrived and he went straight to his mum.  As she told him there had been no change since the morning, each tear that slipped down his cheek filled her heart with a helplessness and pain.  She held him while he cried again, unable to articulate his fear and sorrow.  Stroking his hair, Anne told him that Kacey was going to be okay.  She pointed out how strong willed and tenacious she was and that she would not give up easily.  She encouraged Harry to give her his strength as well.  He nodded and wiped his eyes one last time.  He walked over to Kacey and kissed her cheek, then her eyes and then place a gentle kiss on her lips.  He settled into the chair, took her hand in his and began to talk to her.

[pink-lightsabre]

*taps mic* is this thing on??? for the music ask game HIT ME WITH THEM ODDS

thank you ally i love u!!!! 

1. Your current favorite song

oh man............. fuck........ i’m gonna go with.... the courtyard by LOLO

3. A song that used to be your favorite that you still like

anything... and i mean literally anything off of sam’s town by the killers. but specifically WHEN YOU WERE YOU YOUNG

5. A song that reminds you of another period in your life

hurts like heaven by coldplay and warning sign also by coldplay from when i was at my most depressed/suicidal and side 2 of abbey road from middle school and anything by gloria estefan from my way younger years

7. A song from a genre you don't usually listen to

save a horse ride a cowboy by big and rich. i fucking despise bro country but that song is hilarious and it’s on the playlist that i have with kim

9. A song you loved 5 years ago

paradise by coldplay. that was my Get Thru It song when i was at my worst and i listened to it so often back then that i can barely listen to it now without Bad Memories surfacing

11. A song that reminds you of your best friend

well for ally i gotta go with tiffany blews by fall out boy and for kim i gotta say we are the waiting/st. jimmy by green day

13. A song that reminds you of your current partner/crush

well i’m not currently dating/crushing on anyone atm... but if i was i would say in your eyes by peter gabriel. just bc it is the most Iconique

15. A song that makes you want to fall in love

cant take my eyes off you by frankie valli and the four seasons.......... i cry

17. A song that makes you want to slay your enemies

ladylike by storm large or demons by sleigh bells

19. A song that you've seen performed live

going to concerts is a way of life for me.... so like ive seen a bunch of songs live??????? idk man i’m just gonna pick a couple songs from my most recent concert which was green day, the revolution radio tour: still breathing, american idiot, jesus of suburbia, youngblood, longview, ordinary world

21. Your top most played song on iTunes

i havent used itunes in approx 10 million years, but spotify doesnt have this feature so i’m gonna check itunes and see what kinda throwback it is. and the winner is........ dont hurt yourself, which makes sense, bc lemonade is the only reason to use itunes.

23. A song from the soundtrack of your favorite video game/movie/TV show

oh man. oh man. RUNNING HOME TO YOU FROM LAST WEEK’S EPISODE OF THE FLASH. PLAY THAT SONG AT MY FUNERAL BC WESTALLEN KILLED ME. also the star wars, star trek, and game of thrones themes.

25. A song that you listened to ironically, but now you genuinely love

pop punk pizza party by jarred alonge

27. A song that best describes your personality

gravel to tempo by hayley kiyoko or i dont care by fall out boy

29. A song that cheers you up when you're sad

anything off of folie a deux by fall out boy or sams town by the killers. but if i had to pick like an actual song, i would go with girls/girls/boys by panic at the disco bc i’m bi as hell and that song always validates me

31. A song that you want to cover (regardless of how much talent you have)

death of a bachelor by panic at the disco. i would love to be able to belt it like brendon, but i just dont have the damn range.

33. A song whose message you don't like

i was gonna type out a very well thought out rant about how i dont listen to music whose message i dont agree with... but then it hit me... BLURRED LINES. MOTHERFUCK I HATE THAT SONG SO MUCH

35. A song that sends chills down your spine

when you were young by the killers, but specifically when you were young by the killers after i waited half of my life to see them live in concert, purchased a $200 music festival ticket, flew down to atlanta for a weekend, almost got rained out of said music festival, but then got back in and heard with my own two ears and saw with my own two eyes my first favorite band playing one of my all time favorite songs as the closing song of their set

37. A song that helped you through a difficult time in your life

i think i’ve already covered this question pretty well....... but if i had to pick another one..... i would say to this day by shane koyczan or i wanna get better by the bleachers

39. Your favorite instrumental (no lyrics/singing) song

bombom by macklemore and ryan lewis. yall can drag me all you want for this but that is a DAMN GOOD song.

41. A song from the year you were born

no diggity by blackstreet

43. A song that makes you laugh

god, i hate shakespeare on the something rotten original cast recording 

45. Your favorite Disney song

either i wanna be like you from the jungle book or be prepared from the lion king

47. A song that you love to dance to

crazy=genius by panic at the disco

49. A song whose lyrics you have memorized

literally every song i have in my spotify library. i know the lyrics to all of them. i cant pick one and you cant make me.