#literally just a waste of time to build any type of vehicle

[milf-erasure]

i feel like people have been jumping to attack anyone who says negative things about totk… but i’m kind of……. disappointed in it for various reasons. i’ve played every 3D zelda game (and loved most of them so i’m not a random hater lmao) and this just doesn’t feel like part of the series to me. the dungeons are incredibly lackluster and the whole fusing/ultrahand building stuff is janky and does not work well imo. the depths are cool at first but get old fast. the good stuff about totk is almost exclusively stuff from botw with a few exceptions. idk man. i think i got my hopes up too high

[spacialsojourn]

First Contact

------------Show Pesterlog ------------

New Message from: grimauxiliatrix

GA: Hello GA: My Apologies For Contacting You Seemingly Out Of The Proverbial Blue GA: But I Noticed That Your Username Is Quite Similar To One That A Friend Of Mine Used To Have GA: It May Just Be A Coincidence However On The Off Chance That You Might Know Her GA: Are You At All Familiar With The Name Vriska Serket GA: If Not Then I Apologize For Taking Up Your Time GA: This Is Just The First Time I Have Had Access To Any Sort Of Electronic Communication In A Couple Of Sweeps GA: Though If You Are Not Familiar With The Name Vriska Then I Suppose The Term Sweep Is Likewise Meaningless To You GA: Suffice To Say That It Has Been Quite A While Since I Was Last Able To Even Attempt A Search For The Individual I Am Seeking In An Online Platform GA: And It Is Either Very Fortuitous GA: Or Else Very Coincidental GA: I Personally Am Expecting The Latter But Hoping For The Former AG: Oh wow AG: I wasn't expecting any8ody to ever message this account ag8in. I haven't gotten a message here since AG: Wow, fuck, years ago at this point AG: Kan???????? AG: Are you here??????? AG: Are you Human???????? GA: You Will Have To Define What You Mean By Here GA: But Yes I Am Human

AG: Earth.

GA: I Have Been For Approximately Two Sweeps Now

AG: I mean that already answers my question and I feel like that was pretty o8vious in the context

GA: Possibly

AG: 8ut fuck, 4 years???????? AG: Where are you? Are you s8fe? AG: I mean o8viously you're not dead otherwise we wouldn't 8e having this convers8tion. AG: I've never 8een happier to see your prissy quirk in my entire fucking life this is am8zing

GA: I Am Still Trying To Reconcile Your Presence With The Wasteland Landscape I Have Been Trekking Through For What Feels Like Ages GA: But All Things Considered I Am Doing About As Well As One Can Be On An Alien Planet In A Body Not Ones Own GA: You Are Correct However GA: I Am Not Dead GA: Anymore GA: But I Was For A Short While GA: It Sucked Just As Much As The Last Time It Happened GA: Though It Was Much Slower This Time GA: So It May Have Actually Been Worse In Retrospect GA: And My Quirk Is Not Prissy

AG: Yeah the w8stelands fucking suck AG: Do you need assistance? I don't even know where the fuck you are 8ut I can send like........ AG: A caravan or something out to come get you. 8ring you 8ack to my Mansion and get you out of the fucking dust AG: Terezi's here. Sollux, too.   AG: No8ody else has come forward yet 8ut that doesn't mean they're not kicking a8out somefucking where AG: Did SkaiaNet respawn you? AG: And yeah, it is Kan. It's shockingly prim and proper for a mid-spectrum j8de8lood 8ut that's the least important thing we're talking a8out so try to st8y on topic, thanks

GA: It Is Not Prissy GA: Especially As None Of Us Can Be Considered Any Sort Of Caste On The Hemospectrum Anymore GA: Though I Must Confess To Being Surprised And Not At All Shocked That You Are Living In A Mansion GA: Again GA: Did This One Come With A Gigantic Spider Monster As Well GA:   GA: But No GA: Skaianet Did Not Revive Me GA: If Anything GA: They Were The Spark That Caused My Death GA: I Am Still Not Sure How I Managed To Revive GA: All I Do Know Is That I Am Some Sort Of Human Equivalent To Rainbow Drinkers GA: But I Am Not Sure If I Qualify To Be A Vampire As I Can Still Walk About In The Sunlight GA: I Do Not Know Where I Am Either If You Were To Try And Send Someone To Guide Me To You GA: The Closest Thing I Can Figure Out Is That I Am Somewhere That Is Yet More Desert GA: It Almost Makes Me Feel Hivesick For Alternia GA: Almost

AG: All Rust8loods all the w8y down 8a8ey AG: I keep w8ing for some8ody like Eridan or may8e even the 8atterwitch herself to come through AG: and just end up shitting a fucking cluck8east at 8eing stripped of their no8ility AG: It'll 8e hilarious when it happens AG: Oh my fucking god AG: Of course you'd 8e a vampire AG: That's hilarious. I mean, not the having to die to 8ecome one part AG: 8ut that the Earth recali8r8ion just went 'you know what? this ones a vampire'   AG: Regardless, there's no point in arguing 8ecause your quirk is just inherently prissy   AG: and I'm not the only person who thinks that AG: AND there's more important shit to talk a8out so I don't know why that's shoving a stick so far up your ass ::::// AG: Almost everywhere is desert. You're somewhere with internet though and that narrows things down AG: If we can't use landmarks to try and figure it out, I'll message Sol and get his ass on it AG: Oh AG: Also AG: I go 8y 'Spin' now

GA: I Will Admit That You Mentioning The Idea Of The Condesce Herself Coming Here And Finding Herself Reduced To A Red Blooded Human Has Made Me Smile For The First Time In What Feels Like A Perigree GA: Your Joy At My Vampiric Status Is Not As Endearing However GA: I Will Stand By My Statement That My Quirk Is Not Prissy GA: Your Quirk Is Simply Too Loose And Lax With Rules For Clear Communication GA: As For Why It Is Jamming A Proverbial Arboreal Rod Up My Waste Chute I GA:   GA: Admittedly Do Not Know Why I Am Getting So Defensive About It GA: It Just Feels Like I Have Not Had A Proper Moment To Rest Since I Revived GA: And I Am So Tired Vriska GA: I Am Tired And Angry And I Want To Just Find Someplace That Will Not See Me Run Out Of Whatever Settlement I Find As Soon As They Even Begin To Suspect That I Am Who I Am GA: So Forgive Me For Being Defensive Of Something That Makes Me Feel A Little Less Like Some Kind Of Unwanted Monster GA: I Would Think That Of Everyone In Our Old Friendship Circle You Would Be Able To Understand That Desire GA:   GA: GA: Spin GA:   GA: Why Did You Change Your Name To Spin GA: I Always Thought That You Had A Lovely Name With Vriska

AG: I'll l8y off of it AG: And nahhhhhhhh I've had to expl8in my quirk a8out a dozen times to people who don't know why I type like I do AG: It's pretty simple, hardly a 8arrier, 8ut then you've got Miss Crisp Annunci8ion over here   AG: 8ut whatever, it's fine, it's honestly the least offensive quirk that exists on Earth right now AG: No repl8cements, no shorthands, you get what you see. Refreshing since Sol is using ii's, 2's, and 0's which looks like hell AG: Humans fucking suck AG: Especially Humans who never experienced the G8me at all AG: Fuck them, 8unch of useless NPCs out here 8eing ******** and passing judgement they don't have the right to fucking pass AG: Let me come get you. If I can find where you are, you can have the fucking presidential suite to chill out in AG: I've got a good infrastructure here, there's electricity and running water AG: We've got our own water treatment plant for the mansion itself, as well as another couple for the rest of L8dy's country AG: We've got food, and shelter, we've got fa8ric8ion 8uildings and shit AG: You'll 8e s8fe here. Away from SkaiaNet   AG: Spin just....... fits 8etter, I guess. I've met a lot of my altern8s and I don't really want to associ8 with them AG: They all fucking suck lm8o

GA: I Had Nearly Forgotten How Much Of A Pan-Ache I Would Get From Reading Too Many Of Solluxes Messages In A Row GA:   GA: GA: GA: GA: I Cannot Tell If This Is You Trying To Hype Up An Otherwise Mediocre Settlement That You Have A Minor Role Of Authority In GA: Or If You Actually Have A Mansion With All Those Amenities And Are Sincere In Wanting To Share Them With Me GA: If It Is The Latter Then I Cannot Guarantee How I Will React GA: But I Will Take You Up On Your Offer GA: Even If It Is Not As Advanced As You Are Claiming GA: If Only Half Of It Is True Then That Is Still Far Better Than I Have Been Able To Gain Access To Since I Arrived On This Planet GA:   GA: And As Hard A Time As Myself Or Others Might Give You For Some Of Your Ethical Choices Vriska GA: You Should Not Be So Hard On Yourself GA: Not Even If It Is Not Technically You GA: All Alternates Are Shadows Of Ourselves And Who We Could Have Been Or Could Yet Be GA: We Have Been Getting The Shit Kicked Out Of Us Since We Picked Up That Accursed Game GA: Do Not Do SGRUBs Job For It Now That We Have Finally Escaped Its Grasp

AG: No AG: Kan AG: You don't understand AG: I am the QUEEN of L8dy's Country, Nevada. AG: It's a huge settlement with 8arric8ded walls, I think it was last year or the year 8efore we got the power grid 8ack up AG: It's funded 8y L8dy's Mansion, my live-in headquarters which also dou8les as a fucking kickass 8itching casino AG: We have a8out 20,000-40,000 people living here as permanent residents and more who come and go AG: There's tr8de, there's medicull staff, there's textile plants and industrial gardens AG: We have a standardized 8arter system AG: I've done SO MUCH p8perslogging and pulling myself up from my fucking 8ootstraps AG: I'm not 'hyping up a mediocre settlement' AG: You have to literally get into a vehicle to drive from L8dy's Mansion to the 8order walls 8ecause my territory is so large AG: We are one of the 8iggest non-aligned Encampments in the western hemisphere AG: I'm........ AG: I'm 8uilding an army, Kan. This pl8ce is fucking Huge.

GA: Vriska GA: Why Are You Building An Army GA: Did We Not All Go Through This Sort Of Thing Once Before GA: Do You Really Need To Seek Out Conflict Again So Soon

AG: SkaiaNet needs to 8e 8rought down AG: People are suffering 8ecause they hold ALL the wealth and ALL the resources AG: I'm not just going to stand 8y and let them 8ully every8ody into su8mission while the planet dies AG: and they MORE than have the capa8ilities to m8ke life more comforta8le AG: Yes I've 8uilt an army 8efore, that's why I'm the perfect person for this jo8 AG: I have experience with this shit AG: SkaiaNet has no IDEA what kind of enemy it's m8de in me AG: Also   AG: My n8me is Spin. AG: I've triangul8ed your loc8ion. AG: Do you want me to come get you or no?

GA:   GA: GA:

AG: Yes or no?

GA: I Am Thinking GA:   GA: GA: Will It Be You Who Picks Me Up GA: Or Some Random Underling Of Yours

AG: If you want me to m8ke the trip personally, I can t8ke a 8r8k AG: L8dy's Country won't fall apart without me for a d8y

GA: No GA: No That Will Be Fine GA: I Am Not Entirely Sure That I Want To See You GA: Until I Have Had A Chance To Clean Up

AG: God even in the f8ce of a post-apocalyptic w8steland you're still so prim lmf8o AG: I'll send my personal guard. His n8me's Seipher, I'd trust him with my life. AG: Are you in a s8fe pl8ce to 8unker down? You're a8out 7 hours out from where we're at

GA: Vri GA: GA: Spin GA: I Have Been Walking On My Own Through Swamps GA: Forests GA: Rivers And Open Fields Full Of Mud And Sadness GA: I Have Had To Bathe In Whatever Little Flowing Water I Could Find GA: And Do Not Even Get Me Started On Things Like My Clothes GA: Or All The Extra Features That Are Included With Being A Human In The Way Of Hygiene GA: Forgive Me If I Want A Moment Or Two To Myself Before I See Someone I Care About For The First Time In Almost Two Entire Sweeps GA: So That I Can Look And Smell Presentable GA: Rather Than Looking Like I Am Some Sort Of Bog Person And Smelling Like A Waterlogged Carcass

AG: You care a8out me? AG:   AG:   AG: lmf8oooooooo could you imagine, I had the strongest urge to send that and then NOTHING until my driver arrives there AG: God that would’ve 8een soooooooo funny AG: Yeah roughing it in the wilderness is fucking awful, I’ll have Seipher and K8 get you set up in your suite after you arrive and then you can just lmk when you’re ready and we’ll have dinner and a drink or something AG: I’ll see you then!!!!!!!! ::::)

——arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased Trolling grimAuxilitrix [GA]——

GA:   GA: GA: GA: But I Did Not Want To Be Done Talking With You GA: GA: ---grimauxiliatrix [GA] disconnected---

@betterthan777 @g4llowsc4l1br4t1ng @g0iinggh02t

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Trapped” Part 3

Almost one year ago, someone tried to kill The Joker in a speeding car and Y/N pushed him out of the way, getting hit instead. With a fractured skull and broken bones, she was out of business for 6 months; when she finally recovered, The Queen of Gotham wasn’t the same anymore. Trapped inside her own mind and exhibiting severe cognitive impairment, Y/N’s life switched upside down without any hope of ever returning to normal.

Part 1       Part 2     Part 4     Part 5

Same day, later in the evening

“What are you doing, Pumpkin?” The Joker crawls next to you although he has an idea about why you look upset.

You’re on your tummy scribbling on a piece of paper and he can tell you are concentrating hard while working on the current project: writing down your name. Only got the first three letters then the rest went blank.

“I….I can’t think…” you intensely stare at the blue pen in between your fingers.

“Of course you can!” J reaches over so he can guide your arm since it’s clear you need help. “There you go… done. Now try to copy it bellow, alright?”

“Hm?”

“Try again Princess,” he taps on the sheet and watches Y/N struggling to imitate the word. “Well done!” The King of Gotham praises. “Wanna give it a shot with a few more simple words?”

“Mmmm…” you debate. “OK?...”

You analyze The Joker’s movements as he depicts four letter words, one of them getting your attention in particular.

“Love?” you smile, happy you deciphered the meaning.

“Yes, a basic…”

“Love?” you scoot over, more and more excited and it clicks for your boyfriend.

“It’s just an example for you to exercise and relearn how to write, understand? It doesn’t mean anything!”

You giggle and touch his nose with yours.

“Love!”

“No Pumpkin! I don’t love you, how did you get such atrocity from my note??!! It has no hidden meaning! I barely, from very afar, remotely, not even similar to love, sort of like you and that’s it!”

You snicker and quickly slide to grab the yellow teddy bear, whispering in its ear:

“Love.”

“Aren’t you listening Princess?? Don’t start fake rumors!!”

Still…Y/N lives on her own little planet and her damaged brain grasped a wonderful concept despite The Clown vehemently dismissing his actions.

“Serves me right for being supportive,” he grumbles and resorts to diversion, the best weapon against your new found logic.

“Wanna read to me?” he points at the pile of children’s books resting on the nightstand: they are the best to use in your present circumstance.

“… … Read?... ” you ask, confused.

“Here,” J picks a random publication and gives it to you.

Might as well fully take advantage.

“Spoil me!” he buries his cheeks in your cleavage, guiding your free hand towards his green locks.

You never figured out how he doesn’t suffocate with his face glued to your skin; sometimes he sleeps like that for hours. Must be a special talent.

“The … ummm… the…. The duck…” you read the first page and massage his scalp, frowning at the words you can’t make sense of. “Cross… … crossed?...”  

“Yeah,” The Joker’s mumbled voice agrees.

“… the… g-glass…” you stutter at the sentence.

“Grass,” J corrects you.

“Hm?...”

“Grass Pumpkin, not glass.”

“Ummm… grass…” you continue to read the best way you can and he rectifies your errors until no more sounds emerge: The King is softly purring, a clear indication he’s dreaming.

You toss the book on the floor, fed up with the difficult task of organizing your thoughts; pampering him is better. You slowly tilt his head backwards so you can kiss him: The Joker frowns in his daze and you pinch his butt, chuckling.

“What is it?” he opens one eye and you pull down on his boxers. “Princess, we had sex an hour ago. Do you think I run on batteries?” the complaint is fast to follow.

... … … Batteries?... …                                            

You jump from the bed and stump to the closet, fumbling around for a couple of minutes before returning to a puzzled Clown.

You stretch the elastic of his underwear, dropping two batteries you snatched from the flashlight inside.

“How… how long do we w-wait?” you innocently ask.

The Joker bites his lip, attempting to contain himself yet he can’t: he bursts out laughing at your quirky solution while dragging you on top of him.

“You’re the funniest and smartest person I know, Pumpkin!” he cracks up, actually convinced he’s telling the truth. “Who’s my clever girl, huh?”

He’s talking about a girl again…What girl?...

Y/N peeks behind her and J reminds his baffled half:

“For God’s sake, Princess! I’m talking about you; you’re my girl! Can you get my phone?” he gestures at his mobile ringing by your pillow.

You give the cell to J, ignoring his conversation with Frost: you keep kissing him with the sole purpose of getting undivided affection.

“I guess Adam is here to pick up the cars you damaged,” he finally ends his chat. “Let’s go supervise the process. Don’t be disappointed, Pumpkin, we’ll have fun later. It’s your fault for destroying my collection!”

****************

The Joker watches his crew sweeping the concrete in the garage: broken glass, pieces of metal and debris scattered on the pavement after his vehicles were hauled inside huge trucks in order to be transported to Adam’s workshop for repairs.

“Thanks a lot, Y/N!” he growls, frustrated.

“Y-you’re welcome,” you serenely reply without a care in the universe.

“You’re the worst thing that ever happened to me, Princess!” he huffs at your indifference.

“Love,” you confess to the fluffy toy squished in your embrace.

“I heard that and it’s an aberration! Why do you keep persisting with this nonsense?! I’m literally stating the opposite!” J admonishes but who’s listening to him?

Not Y/N.

“Nolan is texting me,” he changes subject. “He wants me to meet him at his warehouse to inspect the boxes of ammo for the deal. Will you accompany me?”

“Hm?”

“Car ride?” The King of Gotham simplifies his request.

“U-hum!” you nod, preparing to enter the purple Lamborghini which luckily wasn’t in the garage when you smashed J’s cars.

“Frost, if you see me parked up the street in the driving alley, don’t come investigate, got it? This woman’s been pestering me for extracurricular activities, might not make it inside the mansion.”

“Of course, sir!” Jonny finds it wise to consent to his boss’s rambling.

“Tell everyone: if the Lamborghini’s rockin’, don’t come knockin’!”

**************

You’re sitting on J’s lap, completely blocking the arrangements happening at the table: you’re more preoccupied with your game than whatever it is they are negotiating about.

“What are you playing, Y/N?” Nolan curiously inquires because your thumbs are surely moving at a crazy speed on your cell’s screen.

“Hm?” you stop and gaze his way.

“What are you playing?” the man repeats.

“Mmmmm… Tetrixx Bricks.”

“What level are you on?” Nolan leans over, his eyes getting big at the revelation. “Holy shit, Y/N! How did you make it this far??! I’ve been striving to pass level 98 for a month!”

“She’s smart, that’s how!” your boyfriend sassily underlines.

“Do you think that you can help me?” the guy slides his phone in front of you.

“I’m sorry, is this a gaming party or a business matter?!” The Joker scoffs.

“Well, we’re pretty much done: we accepted the terms, we just have to move the merchandise in the morning.”

You are already matching the colorful blocks on Nolan’s game, his face ecstatic when the obnoxious song announces with great fanfare: “Level Up!”

“Holy cow!!!!” he shouts and you return his phone. “Thank you!”

“Hey Y/N,” one of the mobster’s henchmen dares to voice his demand. “Would you help me too? I’m stuck on level 76.”

“I’m dead on 105,” another goon mumbles under his breath, stepping in the line forming to your left.

J would normally cut off this useless waste of his precious time yet he can’t deny the gratification building up in his heart: heavens knows how it feels to be trapped inside your own mind and his girl has definitely battled unimaginable odds to be where she’s at right now.

Living with cognitive impairment is not easy, but she’s still here and it beats the alternative.

“Good job, Pumpkin!” The Clown boasts at the long string of cell phones parading through your fingers while you aid Nolan’s team leveling up on Tetrixx Bricks.

And somehow his hands are holding you tighter, not even bored with the random outcome of his meeting.

**************

You escaped on the terrace for a break and J is discussing the last details with your host: tomorrow you have a routine checkup, thus he has to wrap it up soon.

“Out of my way, half-wit!” Derek aka Nolan’s oldest son pushes you. Would he have done it if you were the same individual from almost a year ago? Nope. Apparently he believes he’s entitled to take advantage of Y/N since she’s alone outside.

“Why did Mister Joker bring you anyway?” he lights up a cigarette, annoyed. “Stupid monosyllabic bitch!” he ogles your summer dress, swiftly lifting it. “Are you wearing diapers?” he chuckles as you walk backwards, trying to process what he’s throwing at you. “Come on, show me!” he approaches and carefully scouts the premises to ensure you two don’t have company.

Perhaps the neurons in your brain are overcharged for the moment; nevertheless, they warn of imminent altercation: the dude’s a total douchebag.

“Are you shy?” Derek grins. “C’mon, lemme see!! Oooohh…fuuuuck…” he bends over in pain when your knee unexpectedly kicks him in the crotch: you used all your strength and he drops down, curling up in a ball. “God…dammit!” Derek shrieks at the defense he didn’t anticipate.

“I…I’m not wearing diapers!” you stammer and because he landed on the edge of the pool you roll him in the water also.

The loud splash makes The Joker wave at you, glad he eventually found you: he’s been searching around the warehouse for the last 5 minutes.

“There you are! Quit playing around, Pumpkin; we have a swimming pool at home!”

You rush by his side eager to bail before the asshole pops up from the bottom of the pond.

“Sushi for dinner?” J suggests and Y/N is not the type of individual to reject one of her favorite dishes.

“I…I love sushi,” you smile elbowing him. “Love.”

“Don’t start with me again!” The King barks at your obvious hint.

*************

“Are you eating the last piece?” he glares at your salmon roll.

“No,” you offer the treat to him. “You…you need it more,” Y/N verbalizes her concern regarding his well-being.

“Can’t disagree, Pumpkin. You exhausted me you naughty girl,” J pretends to be super tired. “What can I do? Princess wants, Princess gets,” he inhales, resigned.

You’re not focusing on his whining: frankly, your intellect has been challenged enough for today. You cuddle in his arms while he chews on his food and watch TV without paying attention to the movie.

“Don’t forget tomorrow morning you have your doctor’s appointment,” J mentions. “I have to stay and wait for the guns I purchased from Nolan; you’ll have to manage without me. I’ll send an escort, deal?”

“U-hum.”

“Don’t yawn, Pumpkin. I’m the one that should yawn,” The Joker scratches his thigh. “This move sucks,” he pouts and turns off the TV. “I have a better idea,” he chooses a kid’s book from the stack. “Read to me.”

You open the textbook and although your brain is overwhelmed, you still make an effort for his sake.

“Mmm… Rainy… sky… Skies?...”

“Yup,” he turns on his side and nuzzles in your hair.

“Float over…hmm… t-town…”, your voice echoes in the room, soothing a worn out Joker.

Strange he can’t properly rest unless you read to him: after all J barely, from very afar, remotely, not even similar to love, sort of likes you.

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[purplesurveys]

1120

[created by: vyvyan86]

What do you do for work? I work at a public relations agency, so I handle servicing for a good number of clients across different industries. PR is basically like the extroverted sibling of journalism; and since I turned out to not enjoy journ, I gave PR a try halfway through my time in college and ended up liking it more.

What would you ideally like to do for work? I actually really enjoy what I do, like getting to work directly with big local and even international brands. I’m glad I made the decision to make the career shift because I can’t imagine how miserable I would be in a newsroom.

What are you doing in order to achieve this? I’m already where I want to be, at least for now. I don’t see it changing any time soon because I’m nowhere near tired of the work yet.

What is the meaning of your life? What is it that you really live for? Erm I don’t really try to define it or have an answer to this right away because I feel like it puts a lot of unwanted pressure on me, by me. As long as I’m satisfied in the present, I shouldn’t be worrying for whom or what my life is ultimately supposed to be.

Have you ever REALLY thought what it means to have children? Yup. Having kids would be the perfect life, but realistically speaking I am not at all ready to start that particular chapter. I don’t make enough money to be able to build a family, and I’ve never even tried changing a diaper yet...then you have to think about weekly formulas, what school to enroll them in, building a nursery...it’s all very hectic and stressful and it’s definitely not a priority as of the moment.

Are you planning to have children anyway? It would be nice, but I still don’t know if it’s in my future.

What is the most awful thing about the world today? I doooooooooon’t understand racism. It’s those videos of white people being caught on tape harassing POCs without a care in the world that get to me the most. It’s horrifying and it’s made me have close to zero plans to travel to the places where the videos usually come from. It’s happened too many times and too many clips have gone viral, that I can’t help but think it would happen to me and my family as well. What do you think is the worst being on the planet? Abusive and/or neglectful parents.

Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? Nopes.

Have you ever been in court? If so, in which role? Definitely not.

Which do you think is a more valuable being, a human or an animal? I don’t think it’s fair to compare. A life is a life.

What, in your opinion, will cause the end of the world? I’m gonna let science answer this and refer to whatever predictions they have for the future based on their calculations. 

What does your mother do for work? She works in an international hotel chain as an executive secretary, but work is actually kind of slippery for her at the moment because of Covid. There are only certain days in the week where she’s called in to report for work, and there is a chance those requests will stop coming in at a certain point.

^If she's a homemaker, any specific reason for this? She’s not anymore but she did enjoy a brief period of being a homemaker after resigning from her previous workplace back in likeeeee 2013 I’d say? which according to her had increasingly turned into a toxic environment after 20+ years of working there.

What about your father? What does he do? He is an executive sous chef. Cruise ship industry, so his situation is also actually quite bleak. Fortunately the job security with his company is a lot stronger and more guaranteed.

How do you like your coffee? I like it sweet and for its color to be light brown.

If you're of age, what's your favorite alcoholic drink? Tequila shots if we’re going hard. Long Island Iced Tea or Zombie if I’m looking to have a chill session with friends. Red Horse is fine as well, whatever. I hate beer with a passion but I’d drink it if everyone in the table is having a bottle.

If you're under-aged, what is your favorite soft drink? Bold of you to assume all minors like soda hahaha. I don’t, though.

Do you smoke? Yeah, just super seldom though because I don’t want to form a habit. I had the opportunity to last Friday but voluntarily skipped out on it, but that was also because I already had a vape pen on me.

^If so, did you start when you were 18 or were you younger? My first cigarette was when I was 21. Start of 2020.

Did your parents approve of your smoking/alcohol use before you turned 18? They wouldn’t have approved of it at all. And I wouldn’t have let myself either.

Do you have siblings? If not, skip the next few questions. Yeup.

Are you eldest, in the middle or youngest? I’m the eldest of two siblings.

How big an age gap is between you and your siblings? With my sister, 2 years. With my brother, 5 years.

Do/did your siblings cause trouble? Not at all, actually. We were all well-behaved, aka the three of us were always too shy to do anything bad or mischevious. I guess the biggest issues with each of us were - I was very messy with my stuff and ignored all my homework; Nina was a crybaby and would get into tears over literally any inconvenience; and my brother was a violent crybaby, which means he is Nina but always ready to punch you in the face, kick you in the neck or stomach, scream into your ear, etc.

If your siblings are old enough, what do they do for work? My sister is taking up digital filmmaking in an art school; my brother is only in his junior year of high school.

Have you ever been jealous of your siblings? I’m not jealous of her, but Nina is amazing at art and drawing and painting and all that stuff and I always wish I shared even like 1/98th of her skills, hahah.

Do you still live with your parent/s or do you live alone/with a partner? I live with my family, yeah. I’m nowhere near ready to start being on my own.

What do you think about growing up? Like what Paramore said (heheh), has to happen sometimes.

What about having responsibilities? I don’t really think anything of them? They’re kind of expected.

Do you know how to cook? Nope.

^If so, what's your favorite thing to cook? I don’t know how to make anything yet, but some dishes I would love to be able to master are risotto and paella. I’d also love to inherit my grandma’s kare-kare recipe but I’m already 300% sure from this early that I’ll never be able to make it as good as she does.

What about baking? I also can’t bake but some stuff I’d want to learn how to make are cupcakes, macarons, cheesecake, and a chocolate chip cookie recipe so good that my kids would literally bring their friends over to our house just to make them try it.

Do you ever drink tea? Iced tea for the most part. If I do ever drink the traditional hot tea, it’s usually because it’s served either at a hotel I’m staying at, or at an Asian restaurant.

Have you ever followed any of these fad diets that go around? I don’t follow a diet. I’m usually open to trying out foods that are packaged to fall under a certain diet, though – paleo, keto, etc. - just to experience how much different it could possibly taste from the food I typically have.

What do you usually order at your favorite restaurant? I usually get rosu, a type of tonkatsu cut that has a lining of fat on its side. My favorite restaurant then provides unlimited rice, miso soup, and cabbage with my order.

Do you prefer a proper restaurant to a fast food place? Not necessarily. I love a lot of either.

What's your dream vehicle? A Mini Countryman.

What about your dream house? I don’t have an exact image of it yet, but I always said that my dream house, wherever and whatever it might be, must have a room for all the wrestling memorabilia I plan to collect in the future. It’ll be like a ~mancave~  as I also plan to have a couch and a big TV in it so I can watch documentaries and pay-per-views there.

What is the biggest dream of your life? Right now, I would say the ‘biggest’ - since I’ve established it since I was a kid - is to go to the 50th installment of Wrestlemania, which is like the Superbowl of wrestling. This year it’ll be the 37th, so I have 13 years left to plan the dream out and save up and stuff.

If you could travel to another country right now, where would you go? Morocco.

What is a country you'd never ever visit? There isn’t a country I wouldn’t want to visit at least once. I’d probably avoid the ones that have dangerous political situations or are literally at war at the moment, but it doesn’t mean I don’t ever want to step foot in them.

Are you good at taking care of your finances? I’m getting there! I was able to have a good amount of savings this month :) My finances were shit for the first two months of my job because there was immediately soooooooo much to pay for, but I’m glad everything is on track now.

Have you ever had any trouble paying your bills? Well no, because I don’t pay my own yet. I do hand a portion of my allowance to my parents every payday so that I can help out with the family bills, though.

What about your rent? We don’t have rent.

What do you think is the best thing about being an adult? The freedom that comes with it is very empowering. I don’t technically have to ask permission to go out with friends anymore, or be scared of a curfew (but my mom still imposes one, LOL. It’ll mellow it within time though, I’m sure); I make my own money and can spend it however way I want while the rest I can save; I can take a drive or book an entire trip altogether as long as I can afford it...it’s letting me get to know myself even more, in a way that college and my teenage years weren’t able to do.

What about the worst? Being expected to have my shit together when I’m very clueless still about so many things in life. I make fuckups at work at least once a week and I always feel like I’m going to get fired with every mistake, lol.

Is there a person in your life, who wastes their life somehow? Hmm, I don’t think so. I have an uncle who had seemed to be headed nowhere before, but I think he’s slowly getting back on track. I think. At least I don’t hear anything about him anymore.

^If so, how are they wasting their life? Never had a stable job, was a neglectful husband and father (I think he still is), was never able to secure a house and even a car for his family, and deals with his problems by drinking...and worse, drunk-driving, sometimes. It’s an embarrassment and I don’t care if my grandma tells me off for giving him the cold shoulder every family gathering. I’m not gonna get close to someone who negatively affects my mood and my energy.

What is something you need to do, but you keep postponing it? Getting a new pair of glasses. Booking an appointment is a Newly-Unlocked Adult Thing that I’ve never done yet, so I’m nervous and I keep putting it off, hahaha.

Do you think life should just hand things to you? Not at all.

Or should you earn the things you want and need with hard work? Yeah, there you go.

Would you rather live off government benefits or earn your own money? Earn on my own, as much as possible. But some balance would be nice as well so that I can start feeling as if the government is actually helping and serving me.

When you take a survey, do you skip questions? Typically, no. But some of the older ones I’ve seen made by, like, 15 year olds of the time will have nonsense, downright immature, or lowkey racist/homophobic questions that I will have no problem deleting altogether as I think no one here would have any interest in answering them either.

Why, do you think, people write lyrics as the title for a survey? To be creative and catchy, I guess. And it works - I do tend to click on surveys that use lyrics.

If you have a Facebook, what do you use it for? Look for things to share, mainly. I’m fully back on it now after going a way for a bit to do some healing on my own.

If you have a Twitter, what do you use it for? As a space to let out literally all my thoughts and brianfarts. No one cares on Twitter, so it’s the perfect space to make a mess and be a mess.

If you have a Tumblr, what do you use it for? I used to have a wrestling-themed Tumblr (and before that, many more other themed Tumblrs), but when my interest died down I soon switched to using Tumblr for my surveys and being more lowkey altogether on here.

If you have an iPhone, why? I find it easier to use, and I like the interface more. The camera’s features are also more to my liking.

If you have an iPad, why? We have a really old model of it, and we bought that because iPads were all the rage at the time. It had been the newest concept from Apple and most people felt they had to have one, including my family. We definitely don’t feel the need to get another tablet anytime soon since it just functions like a giant phone for the most part.

If you have the latest electronic gadgets, did you pay for them yourself? I’ve never paid for a gadget before.

Do you always put your litter in a trashcan? Of course. I know how to pick up after myself like a respectful human. < Yup.

When you walk/ride your bike/drive your car, are you careful? Yeah, unless I’m mad. Sometimes road rage will take over me tbh, especially if other people on the road have been stupid for quite some time.

What is the rudest thing a person could do or say to you? Something phobic after seeing Jess and I together. < This reminds me of when my ex and I used to get stares or whispers in public. But to be honest, I actually enjoyed those encounters because it only served as fuel for me to get even more affectionate and piss them off more, lol. Good times. 

Anyway, the rudest thing I can think of at the moment is being cut while in line. Some people do it so subtly too, and their shy, careful shuffle to get in front of me is what irritates me the most because THEY KNOW they’re doing something shitty and yet are being so sneaky about it.

Have you ever been that rude to someone else? I have never cut in line, never will.

Do you think your parents are proud of you and what you do with your life? I don’t know. I hope so. I don’t know if they’re expecting me to move out at this point, but I hope they’re at least proud of the fact that their first kid managed to land a job, especially considering we’re living in Covid times.

Which would you rather be, famous or a "nobody"? Why? Can’t I be somewhere in between? When it boils down to it, I’d probably go with being a nobody...I’d miss the socialization and having friends, but at least it means I can get away with more.

Do you need to have the latest fashion in clothes and accessories? It would be nice, but I’m not desperate to have them.

If you have a job, do you get along with your co-workers? Yeah, I’d say so. I definitely have never fought with anyone yet. It’s hard to gauge my relationship with each of them because I entered the workplace while we’re under WFH so I’ve only gotten to talk to most of them through Viber; but so far, so good.

What kind of hobbies do you have? I like traveling and learning, so anything that’s got to do with those - going to museums, visiting ancestral houses, trying local art forms - I would definitely dive into. But if I’m not in a new province or country altogether, I like trying out new food and new restaurants, embroidering, watching my favorite shows, coloring, painting, and reading essays about history. :)

Would anything in the whole world make you give up any of those hobbies? I’m not super attached to painting anymore, so I guess.

Have you had/do you have any pets? I currently have two dogs. In the past we’ve had a cat, a rabbit, two birds, and several goldfish.

Do you even like animals? I love them, except insects.

If you aren't already, would you ever get married? It would be a nice thing to tick off my life event list.

If you are already married, what was the ultimate reason for the marriage? -

As a child, did you do anything really bad? I was raised in a highly violent household with the worst influences as my elders. Yes, I managed to squeeze in some horrible stuff when no one was looking.

^If so, what was it? What were the consequences? I was violent towards my brother but won’t get into it. The only thing I’ll mention is that I used to chase him around with a knife whenever he’d start becoming too much of a headache.

As a teenager, did you do anything really bad? I don’t think so. I was well-traumatized and abused by the time I was a teenager so I was afraid of fucking anything up and being in more trouble.

^If so, what was it? What were the consequences? The worst thing I did was lie about my performance in school, honestly. Which, looking back now, doesn’t even seem like a big deal considering I was only in high school then and grades from there barely matter.

Do you have a problem with authority? Nope. Well, a good number of my teachers didn’t seem to like me for some reason. I’d say it’s their problem though since I never did anything to raise hell in school, ever.

What's your favorite comic strip? I don’t have one.

Is there a piece of clothing you absolutely must wear every day Underwear... < Yep.

Has a doctor ever told you to lose weight? No. I’ve always been on the lighter side so that has never been a comment given to me by anyone.

Have you ever been diagnosed with a lifelong disease? Isn’t scoliosis a lifelong thing? If it is, then yes I have been.

What is something you absolutely hate? Fruits.

What about something you absolutely love? Seafood! Which is why I have spicy tuna salad and dynamite rolls with me at the moment :)

[trh]

>origins are 15 minutes long and utterly meaningless >beggining of the game literally doesn't exist and is shown to you in a montage >quest structure for most quests is grossly inferior to witcher 3 quest structure >main story is pathetically short because they ran out of time to expand it >no witcher 3 tier cutscenes because they ran out of time to make them >no real feeling of progression because your initial rise in night city was shown to you in a montage >player character (V) has an unchangeable street kid personality that allows for zero role playing and is inferior to Geralt in every way. You might be playing as a high intelligence corpo, but your V will sound and act exactly like a physical build street kid, or any other combination of stats and life paths. Revealing just how limiting a voiced protagonist is for this sort of game. >don't even meet most quest givers because the beggining of the game was never made so you just get calls from people you don't even know >gangs are practically all the same except for their appearance >basically no meaningful interaction between the gangs and the player character or other gangs exists >cybernetic enhancements limited to a handful of basic arm and leg mods along with a few other mostly pointless upgrades. This is an absolutely huge missed opportunity >vast majority of perks are underwhelming stat increases and don't affect dialogue checks >even though this is the case it's still very easy to utterly break the game in a very short ammount of time trivialising the game even on the highest difficulties >clothing (and weapons) are random and linked to levels meaning a higher level bandana is better protection than a slightly lower level military grade helmet, et cetera. This means that fashion and style (things that are supposedly very important in the cyberpunk world) are utterly meaningless and 99% of the time your character will be wearing a bizzare mismatch of completely different clothing and armor types >most surface level exploration of cyberpunk tropes and themes imaginable. Meaning they have completely wasted a truly unique setting >while competently done, the architecture of most of the city is completely forgettable and uninspired. This is true for the vast majority of objects (weapons, cloths, various gadgets) and envirements in the game. Ultimately making the world feel very forgettable and generic >all these aforementioned things means that the world often feels more like a slightly futuristic version of our world rather than the cyberpunk world Mike Pondsmith created >exploration is extraordinarily unsatisfying because you are constantly getting calls telling you what you're about to run into which ruins the mood and removes the excitement of discovering various parts of the world >example: you're out at night on the coast and you see a long ominous dimly lit dock and you think to yourself hmm I wonder what could be out there, when all of a sudden this happens: "HEY V THIS IS CHARACTER YOU'VE NEVER MET BEFORE CALLING TO TELL YOU THAT A CYBERPSYCHO IS IN YOUR IMMEDIATE VICINITY!! >this of course completely ruins the tension and the building excitement about what you might find as you edge farther and farther out onto the dock. Imagine if you were playing the witcher 3 and every time you get near a cave or abandoned building some mage you've never met before telepathically tells you exactly what monster is in it >terrible, borderline nonexistent ai only capable of performing the most simple of behaviors >this causes many utterly nonsensical things to occur such as: cops appearing immediately after a crime has been committed, or cars never driving past an object you moved in front of them >but wait, isn't this supposed to be an extraordinarily dangerous ultra-violent cyberpunk dystopia? So why on earth can the night city police force react so efficiently to crimes? Wouldn't it make more sense if the cops simply did not even show up at all in many areas? >a very small amount of truly unique weapons and armors, some "unique" weapons merely being common guns with a slightly different paint job. >no Gwent equivalent and very few mini games to take part in. And the ones that do exist such as racing are laughable due to the truly pitiful capabilities of the ai. >Jackie cannot be saved even though cdpr originally intended you to be able to. Meaning that cdpr spoiled a very important moment of their own game in an E3 trailer. Not that it matters anyway since the beginning of the game was never made meaning you hardly interact with Jackie at all (outside of the less than 2-minute-long montage) before he dies. >the first mission in the game after your origin (the e3 demo footage with the spiderbot) is unlike any other quest in the game with far more unique ways to complete it, it is truly of a higher quality compared to the rest of the game. Meaning that it misleads players to believe the game and its quest structure is better than it is. This was perhaps purposefully done since by the time you make it to the rest of the game and notice the drop in quality you already have too many hours to get a refund. This quest feels like a quest from a true rpg while the rest of the game feels like an action game with light rpg elements. >even though cdpr advertised night city as being extraordinarily sexual in nature there are fewer prostitutes in the game than there are in the Witcher 3. >vast majority of primary and secondary characters are at best underutilized and at worst completely forgettable. This is partly due to the short length of the campaign but also because of an overall drop in writing quality compared to the Witcher 3. >the campaign feels less like your ascension and legacy in night city and more like a vehicle for cdpr to parade Keanu Reeves around the map. And you will often find that his character dominates the conversation. Instead of you interacting with the world directly, you interact with Keanu Reeves, who gives you an oftentimes meaningless and juvenile quip about your surroundings. >Johnny silverhand for the most part is an uninsightful and shallow bore. Imagine being followed around by a pseudo intellectual melodramatic high school student that fancies himself as some sort of philosopher, pair that with Keanu Reeves' lifeless and monotone voice, and you have got yourself Johnny silverhand (the true main character of the game) >the game is filled with glaringly obvious references to pop culture that break immersion. Example: there is an ai in the game with the GLaDOS voice that talks about cake

[amuseoffyre]

Britpicking Index

Some useful compare/contrasts for non-British people writing characters in Britain :) (Also, vice versa, because me and my editor have had some run ins over things I didn’t realise had different names in the US). Feel free to add more if you think of them. These are the main ones I’ve encountered and seen discussed in various forums.

Apartment

Flat. We occasionally use apartment now, purely because Americanisms have slipped into the lingo, but mostly, we call them flats.

Bangs

Have never understood why they’re called bangs. We call them fringes.

Bathroom (Going to the…)

Nipping to the loo, having a slash, nipping to the little girl/boy’s room.

Candy

Sweets. Just generally sweets of any kind.

  Chips

Crisps. Because they’re crisp, I suppose?

On a related note, chips over here are the great big chunky potato fries. The little skinny ones (ie. Like McDonalds or Burger King’s) are French fries, but generally, people will still call them chips.

  Cookie/Biscuit

Honestly, this one is… all over the place because US biscuits sound like savoury scone-type things but are very much not savoury scones because they’re served with gravy. Or apparently with jam/honey/other stuff.

Meanwhile UK biscuits are generally small, crunchy and sweet. But I have been reliably informed that a biscuit =/= cookie. However, some things that UK manufacturers call cookies are – in fact – biscuits. Do not trust cookies that crunch and hurt your teeth.

Fannypack

Um. So fanny is a certain area of genitalia over here. Just... worth knowing. We also call them “bumbags”.

Faucet

Tap. Also, we have separate taps for hot and cold in older buildings. Because Chaotic Evil :)

Freeway

Motorway. (More road/traffic information at the bottom)

Garbage/Trash

Rubbish. Bins are the general receptacles for it. 

Gas (Gasoline) and Gas Stations

Petrol and petrol stations. Same stuff, a lot more expensive from what I’ve seen of pricing per gallong versus per litre.

Grill (For cooking)

This one tripped me up very hard in one of my short stories. My US editor and I were as confused as each other when we described them to one another.

We do have grill pans here (ie. The pans with the ridged bottom) and we do the outdoor grilling thing over a flame as well, but generally in the UK, if we say ‘grill’ we are talking about the oven broiler.

Outdoor grilling is just called barbecue unless on a large/professional scale, when it miraculous turns into a grill. The George Foreman grill is also a thing, but I haven’t seen them show up in fic all that often.

Jelly

Jelly = jam, ie. the spreading stuff for sandwiches and things. Jello, on the other hand, is called jelly.

  Jumper

Not a dress. These are generally the knitted kind of pullovers/sweaters. Christmas jumpers are definitely a thing.

Lemonade

It’s a trap. It can refer to a) freshly squeezed lemon juice, b) fizzy lemon juice or c) lemon-ish-flavoured-ish fizzy drinks like 7Up and Sprite. And to add to the trap, it varies in every shop and restaurant. Good luck!

Line/Lining up.

Queue/queuing. Also getting in line.

  Movies (Going to)

Going to the cinema or going to the pictures.

  Pancakes

Yes, I hark back to The Discourse of crepes versus pancakes. UK pancakes were not like US pancakes in my tothood. They were thin, rolled-up things that were more like crepes. However, Scotch pancakes (or drop scones – no idea. Not a frigging scone) are like chibi US pancakes, thick and fluffy. Ingredients vary across the board. I’ve seen recipes including butter and soda and everything. The most basic recipe is pretty much eggs, flour, milk.

 Pants

This is a big one that shows up an awful lot. The word pants in Britain tends to describe underwear of some variety, so you can imagine that this gives a very different mental image of a scene if someone is wearing tight pants in a fancy restaurant.  Pants can be anything from tighty-whities to full-blown granny pants.

Generally pants get called trousers over here. We have the usual varieties of jeans and leggings and things, but generally, full-length leg coverings? Trousers.

Pie

Generally, a pie is savoury, unless specified otherwise.

Pumps

Technically, some shops do refer to them as pumps, but most people I’ve encountered in my 30+ years of living here just call them shoes and define by other means (ie. ballet flats, beach shoes etc)

(Also, fun fact, pump is frequently used as slang for a fart. So someone putting on a pair of pumps...)

Refrigerator

Just fridge, usually.

Roommate

Unless you are literally sharing a room with them, they’re a flatmate. Also, UK universities don’t generally do shared dorms. Everyone gets their own private room, though not everyone gets their own private bathroom.

Sidewalk

Pavement or footpath depending on how rural said walkway is. (More road/traffic information at the bottom)

Shopping Cart

Trolley. If it doesn’t have one wonky wheel, you are Blessed.

Sneakers

Generally, trainers. This can cover any kind of laced-up shoe that is used for sport or is kind of casual and flat, although we also differentiate between Converse, tennis shoes and such as well.

Plimsols are those lace-less slip-on canvas shoes used by kids for indoor sports. They are awful and smell like rubber.

Soda

I can’t give a fixed answer for this one. There are some areas that call all fizzy drinks “pop” while there are other regions which call all soft drinks/fruit drinks “juice”.

 Store

Shop. Superstores, on the other hand, are supermarkets. On a related note, going grocery shopping is generally just known as “doing the shopping” or - more northerly - “getting the messages”.

Street cars/Trollies

Trams. This was a matter of great and heated argument back in the day. Fortunately, there aren’t all that many in the UK, so unless you’re writing in specific parts of the country, it shouldn’t be an issue.

Suspenders

Braces. Because using the word suspenders over here is generally referring to the stockings-and-suspenders variety, with strong hints of lingerie involved. Kind of a nudge-nudge, wink-wink, wahey! kind of thing. Because sometimes, we never grow past the Carry On films.

Trunk (of a car)

The car boot or just ‘the boot’. Similarly, the hood of the car is called the bonnet.

TV

Called either TV or telly. Daft little thing, but putting the telly on reminds me of home :)

Washcloths

Flannels or facecloths.

Some minor oddities that may be useful:

Eggs

We don’t refrigerate them. We don’t have to. Some people keep them in a special shelf of the fridge, but generally it’s not necessary.

Laundry

In British houses, washing machines are generally in the kitchen. Don’t know why, given that Europe tends to have them in bathrooms or laundry rooms. (Useful to know, we don’t call the baskets laundry baskets/hampers. They’re generally just referred to as “the washing”)

Also, a lot of houses don’t have tumble driers. Outdoor drying is still quite common (weather permitting) on lines strung for the purpose between poles or on a whirligig contraption in the back garden. In Scotland, blocks of flats often have a shared “drying green” which does exactly what it says on the tin. Except, because it’s Scotland, I believe they named it ironically.

If you don’t have a tumble drier and the weather Gods are displeased, then we resort to the good old-fashioned airer, a murderous contraption of metal rods (usually coated in white plastic) that unfolds (and bites the unsuspecting finger when it collapses for no good reason).

Recycling

Oh. good. god. In the name of trying to make us save the planet, we have bins for everything. In my area, we have a regular bin, a recycling bin, a garden waste bin, a composting bin and a glass-recycling box. I know places that have more. I know places that have less.

They’re usually on weekly rotations and it’s an absolute nightmare trying to a) find space to store them and b) find space to put them out for the rubbish collection. Some areas that are mainly blocks of flats have large communal bins with similar distinctions, but I think pretty much everywhere is burdered with an excess of large plastic bins.

Roads and the Use Thereof

We drive on the left side of the road with the driver’s side on the right of the vehicle. Intersections are called junctions and I think roundabouts are a much more common phenomenon in Britain than in most sensible countries.

We still have the usual road signs and things, although British variations thereof. You can find British traffic signs by any basic search online. Traffic lights are usually just the three colours - red, amber, green - but you do occasionally get ones with extra signals for cyclists and the like.

Cycle lanes are about, but they’re not as common as somewhere like the Netherlands.

Which brings me to crosswalks - we have two common varieties: zebra and pelican. Yeah, we’re eccentric like that.

The pelican crossing is the one where you press the button and wait for the little green man to give you the all-clear to walk. It’s called Pelican because it used to be a semi-acronym - "pedestrian light controlled crossing".

Zebra crossings usually have no buttons. Some of them have striped poles with roung yellow/orange lights at the top, but not as much anymore. These kind of crossings give pedestrians the right of way, although a lot of drivers seem to ignore that rule.

Technically, they do have their names, but most of the time, we just refer to them as “the crossing”. No one really differentiates between pelican and zebra anymore.

School/college/variations.

Generally, we have state schools (government funded, variable on quality) and the independent schools which are the fee-paying ones for people who want to go private. Be aware that public refers to independent schools in some places, but to state schools in others. Children are entitled to education between the ages of 5-18.

For the early school stages, it varies depending on region. Where I am (Scotland), you have 7 years of Primary school (P1-7) and up to 6 years of Secondary school (S1-6).

I get a bit confounded with the English system because it seems to vary a lot depending on region. Primary covers most for the early years, up to age 11, but then you get a cocktail of Lower/Upper, Sixth Form and College for the secondary years depending on which area you’re in.

We don’t use terms like sophomore etc (I honestly thought that was the flag-code thing)

College is generally seen as the stepping stone between school and university. You don’t need to go to college in order to go to university in a lot of areas, but in some regions, your final year of school is done at college. It’s all a bit confusing.

University is where you go if you want to study a degree. Again, the courses vary by length depending on subject. A standard bachelor degree is 3 years in most places (except for stuff like medicine and architecture). Masters are an additional year (or two) on top of the Bachelor. Anything beyond that is variable depending on both university and course. We call the unis for short.

Swearing

Depending on region, the strength and frequency of profanities varies. For example, I’m in Scotland and one of the ladies I work with has used the c-word as a verb. Someone was playing the fool and she described them as “c*nting about”. My boss was usually ill if she didn’t drop f-bombs 8+ times a day and usually while laughing. It’s rare not to hear someone on the bus swearing on a daily basis as well.

Going back to the previously mentioned fannies, please enjoy an infamously Scottish advert:

So swearing. Yes. Variable. Definitely something to be aware of.

[leonajasmin-writeblr]

Find the Word

Thanks for the tag @dotr-rose-love! I was given the words drink, flower, soft and bone. I’m using the first drafts of the four parts of The Mastery that I’ve done so far (which is almost 400K), so there’s quite a few for each word. Therefore, under the cut they go! :)

I’m going to tag some people who’ve appeared on my ‘latest notes’ feed this past month: @lxpinwrites, @ariannastewart, @silentlylostwriter and @what-is-this-blog-about. Have the words mild, grow, house and/or eat appeared in any of your recent/current WIPs?

DRINK (I am prone to over-hydrating so always mention drinks haha):

“Surely you have servants who’ll get you a warm drink and a few biscuits for your pet?”

“Please, I insist you must have something to drink. Personally, I think it is too early for an alcoholic beverage, but I have juice, water and the like.”

He indicated for me to put my drink down before grasping my hands, “That’s why you’re so important.”

“No.” Sebastian went quiet, fully focused on the bubbles in his drink.

Phineas had given me three books, so, after grabbing a drink, I pulled one out of my rucksack.

“Hey, I don’t personally drink,” He said, putting his hands up, “I don’t condone it either."

I didn’t drink last night- even if I liked alcohol, a certain someone’s glare was enough of a deterrent to sit on the other side of the compartment.

Since it was only the two of us, the teacher left for a few minutes to fetch herself a drink.

“No, he wasn’t.” She said, finally sitting down. I’d gotten into my dorm. She'd followed and declined when I offered her something to drink.

Sebastian took a while to take a drink from his cup, but responded, “That’d imply he was logical.”

Miriam had been watching the two bicker as if observing a tennis match. She grabbed her drink at that point, spluttering as she swallowed wrong. The two looked at her in panic before dropping the conversation.

Martha nodded, taking a sip of her drink, “This is why I didn’t want to come now. I can’t think straight.”

“He’ll be in his eighties by now, so even if he is, he wouldn’t have much longer to live.” Uncle August answered, turning the kettle on after realising he hadn’t made himself a drink.

“I know,” Matthias smiled, stirring his drink, “When are we meeting your partner, Alex?”

“Hmm?” Rylan mumbled, “My father said that coffee is unhealthy and addictive. To wake yourself up early in the morning, you should drink hot water. I wanted at least a little flavouring, so I infused some tea leaves in. Try it.”

He laughed once, “But you don’t drink, and otherwise it’ll go to waste.”

“Let me get you a drink. Do you want to come into the dining room?”

August smiled, “If we weren’t teetotal, I’d say let’s drink to that. But we’re going to have to make do with tea.”

“Dad, what is the point of drinking tea when you have so much milk in it that you lose the taste of the actual tea? Just drink warm milk.”

“Ah, my apologies, but he only takes in interns when he requests for them. He hasn’t at the moment. Since you’ve come all this way, would you like a drink?”

There was silence before one relative piped up, “I’ll drink to that.”

“Have a drink while you’re here. I’m a little bit out of the way so save your time and energy.” 

“Thanks, Alex,” He took a long sip of his drink, “I’m so nervous though.”

Miriam snorted, “Don’t make me laugh when I’m about to drink.”

“She’s taking over, as we suspected,” He muttered, pouring himself a strong drink of alcohol, “And she’s basically told Dimitri and I that only one of us can lead the Meeting and she’s picked me.”

FLOWER:

The three of us were in the ‘roundabout room’ of the hospital. In the middle was a hexagonal flower box with some odd-colour foliage and around it were five different hallways. There were seven different floors, and we were on the bottom one.

The town looked quaint from the station, but I couldn’t pronounce its name due to not having a Phinean accent. Compared to Natli and Mindeya, it was homely looking with its flower boxes and sign pointing to a vegetable market.

He dropped me off in front of a large house before taking the horses back to his own place. It seemed more grandiose than the properties surrounding it since there were flower baskets coming out of literally every window, but it was the same size. Even the Donegall house, which was also in the centre of the city, was obviously not the property of any old person.

“Ah, but that is the beauty of flowers. She can make her room look pretty with them even though she hates the recipient. And flowers have a lot of meaning. One flower may both mean ‘I love you’ and ‘fuck you’.”

“You work in a flower shop but don’t know your flowers, silly boy. Is Miriam tall and pretty?”

“At the flower shows they have in Natli, her family decide on the winners. She picks second place now she’s the Secondary Master. She doesn’t like the idea of picking just on which she thinks are the nicest so researches quite a bit to make sure she’s actually making the best decision.”

SOFT:

“He’d have stepped up by now if that was the case. It’s been over a decade and a half since I was born.” If looks could kill, I’d be dead by now. Her voice, however, was low and soft.

Father stuck his hand out, and I was surprised about how smooth the skin was. He was only thirty-nine but his face was aged, looking way older than Dimitri’s forty-two-year-old one. But the back of his hand was soft and looked well moisturised.

"Roman says he's a Tibetan Mastiff, they're soft and protective despite their deceptive build. But cute doggies aren't a priority right now. Have you got Miriam and Caspian's scents?"

I laughed, then consciously realised he hadn't moved his hands. I hadn't put on my jacket yet so I could feel how warm and soft they were.

"Well, I'm not moving until someone from the shop floor drags me off," I said, lavishing in the beds comfiness. My one at Natli was hard although the pillows were ridiculously soft, I had to stick blankets underneath for some comfort.

Her hair was near enough white and she also had the same piercing grey eyes which her son didn't possess. She had a soft face although that was shrouded by her current expression.

I couldn't think of any way to describe the voice other than silk. While tinged with age, it was soft and smooth.

She appeared as a mixed woman, with tied back brown locks and a soft but unvirtuous expression. Roman stared as she did so.

Cyrus was interested in all types of vehicles but always had a soft spot for motorbikes. I never paid enough attention to learn anything about the specifics.

Roman nodded, beginning to catch his breath, “Luka wants my Grand Master gone at least. From what she has said, he seems to have a soft spot for Miriam, but I think it is to do with-”

This was one of the rare times he’d smile genuinely. He hid the fact he had these guys most of the time so he didn’t look like a soft-hearted man due to being a pet lover. Deep down, any furry animal was his weakness.

“You have really soft knees, Kadir.” (A/N: The character who says this is drunk, I don’t have a weird knee fetish)

“What? No!” Uncle August had a soft voice but it broke then, “He’s been doing as well as he can be, making the treacherous journey he currently is.”

I’d held Matthias and Octavia plenty of times when they were younger, so I knew how to hold her. Juliana noted it, “You’re so soft-handed, but what’s the frown for, buddy?”

“Well, why are you surprised?” His voice was uncomfortably soft, “The more experience you get, the harder the challenge is. It’s how the world works Meline, not just me.”

Rylan’s voice was surprisingly soft and soothing, and there was a brief smile on his face when I looked at him. There was actual warmth in his expression compared to the other two people in the room.

“Carlos clearly has a soft spot for you too,” Phineas said, “But then again, he seems to have one for everybody bar backstabbers.”

Seb and Uncle Jonathon were almost identical apart from age and build. Their confident but laid-back demeanour was also scarily similar. But his eyes were the same soft deep brown as August’s.

“Did he give Andrei something soft and warm to lie in? I don’t think that’s fucking likely.”

Khristoph and I swapped positions and it became clear they had almost identical faces. Soft brown eyes, long thin eyebrows and a childish look of wonder around them.

Since I was still on the floor, he went onto his knees and kissed me. It was slow, soft and exactly what I needed at that moment.

Uncle Jonathon let his curls go wild but they didn��t reach further than the top of his neck. Grandfather’s, however, were in line with his elbows, the same length as mine. They were maintained well though, and looser than any of ours. His eyes were a soft but deep brown, although they were almost shut due to his frowning.

“Considering you’re the mother of the victim, are you really in the best position to do this?” The judge asked. His voice was soft rather than Winona’s jabbing.

“Vanska,” He responded, voice soft, “Where are we?”

He looked to the door which Roman left through before turning to me, “I was in here when you were watching him. There’s still a soft spot for him in your heart, isn’t there?”

We were looking at each other again when a voice arose. It wasn’t Lawrence’s high, shrill voice, nor Roman’s soft and warm tone or Vesna’s staccato tone. This one was animalistic and growling.

Myles and Jonathon headed over to the blanket, the former looking at Miriam and the latter at Andrei. He had a soft, paternal look to him before a shadow appeared over him.

“Ludwig is surprisingly quite soft as a paternal figure. For some reason I preferred him to Martha.”

“Oh, Miriam.” She gave me her soft hazel-eyed look, “We’ll be able to make something out of this. You won’t have to live like your mother and uncle did.”

Dad was soft, but that was one thing he rarely said, “I love you too.”

Dimitri was a man with rough edges but he had soft spots for dogs and children. After all, he owned more pets than some shelters and had taken Miriam in. 

I rolled over, making a soft grunting noise.

Despite his rough appearance and supposed bluntness, Gino had a soft, tinkly laugh.

“Well, my Dad is Grand Master Schwarz. He’s a bit soft from first glance but uses his brain, not brawns. My uncle is Grand Master Ivanov. He’s the opposite.”

Her daughter had a soft and cute face in comparison to her mother’s harsher one, “Oh, alright, what’s the change?”

“Oh, okay. I know this was yours and Miriam’s discussion, but I’ll step in. Why don’t you talk with Nina and let her take charge while you work on understanding the lingo and working on your soft skills? I know a guy who lived in Anthonia who could help you.” 

BONE:

“If I had a bone in my body that was sensitive, I’d have a problem.” She said.

He'd put his hands on my shoulders so I bit down onto his forearm as hard as I could. It went deep, his bone almost visible and it was bleeding heavily. He yelped in response.

[carolinenicolettes]

MEET CAROLINE ESTELLE NICOLETTE ! 

(IN)CORRECT QUOTE -

“ this is taking too long ! i’m going to miss the farmer’s market ! ” —scary terry or scary caroline? who knows

“ she liked messy beds and movie nights without any lights on. she liked the quiet company of a few good friends. her idea of love was gentle and silent, like a whisper of a touch. some things are magical and magic, contrary to popular opinion, is often found in the most ordinary of places. ”

BASIC

NAME: caroline estelle nicolette NICKNAMES: n o p e it is caroline or NADA  AGE: 21 BIRTHDAY: may 1st SPECIES: starchild  GENDER: cisfemale PRONOUNS: she/her

FAMILY

MOTHER: amelia nicolette — born into money, massive name in the fashion industry, only wears fashionable power suits and celestial themed jewelry, drinks expensive whiskey neat FATHER: unknown PARENTS: raised by her mother, kind of. had a nanny named maggie growing up whom she loved dearly and was very good friends with a doorman named robert as well. it takes a village, you know. FAMILY: direct relation to the nicolette family that you all know and love aka odette. caroline’s mother is odette’s father’s sister. SIBLINGS: not at all.

PHYSIAL ATTRIBUTES

FACE CLAIM: scarlett leithold NATIONALITY: american HEIGHT: 5′7 WEIGHT: 139lbs BUILD: slender, and a bit insecure about that HAIR: long with a subtle wave , nearly down to her waist for now  HAIR COLOR: golden blonde with a few summery platinum highlights EYE COLOR: baby bluuuue DOMINANT HAND: left ANOMALIES: during warmer months, and nearly year round since moving to california, there are little freckles dusted across her nose  SCENT: seasalt, cocounut, sunscreen . . . . and occasionally mon paris by ysl ACCENT: she fought against that new york accent tooth and nail so none ALLERGIES: cats but also bullshit DISORDERS: dbd — dumb bitch disorder FASHION: an odd mix of vintage. corduroy dresses, plaid skirts, ribbed turtlenecks, velvet headbands, doc marten boots. a lil 60s, a lil 70s, a lil 90s. despite having quite a bit of money, she’s always wearing at least one thing that looks hand-me-down and that’s because her mother never threw anything away, so it likely is.  NERVOUS TICS: rocks back and forth from her toes to her heels, death grip on a camera strap, tucking her hair behind her ears QUIRKS: collects enamel pins, always has a camera on her, closes her eyes when trying to focus on listening

LIFESTYLE

RESIDES: east side, victoria BORN: new york city RAISED: new york city VEHICLE:  black 1969 chevy camaro, rarely ever drives it though as she bikes/skates most places PHONE: iphone 11 pro :\ COMPUTER: mac desktop collecting DUST PETS: too busy sneezing bc of odette’s cat

HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION: graduated COLLEGE EDUCATION: senior MAJOR: museum studies, photography MINOR: film studies CAREER: freelance photographer, current waste of space living off of that family $$$ EXPERIENCE: apprenticeships in fashion photography, internships in museum curation  TRAINED IN: photography and classical ballet (reluctantly) OTHER: literally just .... she’s had a camera of some sort in her hand since she was like 12

POLITICAL AFFILIATION: liberal RELIGION: worships the ground stevie nicks, cher, and debbie harry walk on but that’s about it BELIEFS: you have to be really careful when buying sweaters from thrift stores because 80% of them are absolutely haunted MISDEMEANORS: none FELONIES: none  TICKETS AND/OR VIOLATIONS: NONE  DRUGS: once or twice but she’s strung out enough on her own  SMOKES: weed, on occasion. cigarettes are gross. ALCOHOL: leisurely, mostly socially. Queen of Beer Pong™ DIET: fairly healthy, not at all picky, a little bougie.

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: labels are stupid SEXUAL ORIENTATION: and sexuality is fluid MARTIAL STATUS: never going to happen CHILDREN: *nervous laughter* AVAILABILITY: not at all LOOKING FOR: she’s actually legally blind so

LANGUAGES: english, french

PHOBIAS: fuck spiders SPECIFICALLY. might cry but also doesn’t want you to kill it just... take it out and awaaaay HOBBIES: photography, film — the act of and the watching of, hiking, live shows, bothering odette. literally has/had 3294328049 of them but is really only good at photography/film TRAITS: + adaptable, loyal, charismatic, clever, playful, adventurous ; - flighty, forgetful, cynical, unforgiving, disorganized, impatient SOCIAL MEDIA: the works - snapchat, twitter, instagram

FAVOURITE

LOCATION: photo pit at small venue concerts, anywhere within 10 feet of the pacific SPORTS TEAM: whomst  GAME: playin w people’s HEARTS ...... jk ....... kinda MUSIC: haim, fleetwood mac, the aces... any band with a female lead singer SHOWS: ghost adventures, big little lies MOVIES: frances ha, almost famous, bob dylan: don’t look back RADIO STATION: anything that strictly plays oldies FOOD: loves baked goods BEVERAGE: cold brew coffee, cinnamon spice tea COLOR: a nice dusty rose :\

CHARACTER

MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic good MBTI: isfp — the adventurer ENNEAGRAM: type 7, the enthusiast  ZODIAC: taurus HOGWARTS HOUSE: hufflepuff TAROT CARD: the empress TV TROPES: max mayfield, serena van der woodsen, ainsley howard, donna sheridan and honestly? eloise  SONG: summer girl - haim

IDEOLOGIES: shove it down shove all the emotions DOWN do not feel. you can tell a lot about a person based on the music they listen to when they’re sad. three is the luckiest number.

THE RUNDOWN 

amelia nicolette never intended to be a mother. she was freshly 21, inches from a moment that could launch her career in the fashion industry, and she hadn’t been in love or even interested in the idea since she was seventeen. so when a one night stand with a wealthy older man, left her with morning sickness and an odd appetite for two, she was less than thrilled. 

he was even less thrilled, insisting that she terminate the pregnancy. i’ll drive you, he’d said in a hushed tone. only then did she see the tan line wrapped around his ring finger. a married man. a one night stand. and a complete bastard . amelia decided, then and there, to carry to term and then put the baby up for adoption.

until may 1st at 3AM on the dot when the most obnoxious scream split through the air. a baby, just slightly too small, kicking and screaming relentlessly was born in manhattan. a baby who wouldn’t shut up until she was placed in the arms of her mother, where she fell quiet and calm and she slept. 

amelia nicolette never intended to fall in love, but holding her tiny baby girl, she knew then and there that she was a goner. caroline, as a song that sounded like joy played from a radio at the nurse’s station. estelle, for the stars. nicolette, the only family name she’d ever need. 

for three years, it was just the two of them in a new york penthouse, and amelia learned quickly that she was good at being a mother. but that didn’t change her free-spirited nature or the way her heart had a tendency to yearn for more. she had the resources, and caroline was old enough — . . . and she’d been sketching for years, sitting on top of a portfolio that piled a mile high.

along comes nanny, maggie, and thus began the life she’d lead for the rest of her childhood. mom spent a lot of time at work, building a fashion brand that went international by the time caroline was 6. because of this, she was gone more often than not, leaving caroline to grow up under the watchful eye of a nanny.

but she called every night. made it home for every big holiday, every recital, every birthday. in the summers, caroline would spend her time split between visiting her mother, visiting odette, and visiting a beach house in victoria. there was a certain lack of permanence that caused her to be adaptable, allowed her to be comfortable with change and give into the whims of a free spirit like her mother’s.

but people filtered in and out, came and went, and on the flip side of the same coin, there was a sense of detachment , a fear of getting too close to people who would move out or move on.

despite this, caroline never found herself to be lonely. she was a friendly little thing with bright eyes and a sparkling curiosity, picking up hobbies instead of toys, but never quite being exceptional at any of them. she made friends with doormen and caused problems for the people behind the desk. she became good, early on, at keeping herself busy, making her own fun – . . . all things that have very much carried into adulthood.

she was lucky, and she’s fully aware of it which is why, from a young age, she always did her best to find ways to give that luck to people who seemed to need it. 

things had a tendency to be tumultuous, what with her mother coming and going and her very best friend being in and out of the hospital, but she tried to go with the flow as best as she could. things were good but never truly exceptional.

until she met jude. he’d been in the same children’s wing as odette, and they’d known each other for a little bit before caroline met him. the three of them were inseparable, at first, simply best friends. but as they got older, feelings shifted and two friends became more than that.

our girl was in love for the very first time. and it was sweet and gentle and everything a first love is supposed to be. over time, that love grew, just as they did, and it was visible to anyone with eyes that they were in love. for two years, it was good, he was good. 

and then he wasn’t. despite two years of remission and a healthy life, he fell ill again. there was nothing to do but stand by and watch as six months passed by, far too quickly, and he slipped away into nothing. ultimately passing away just a week before his 20th birthday. 

caroline didn’t allow herself to feel it, for a while, lingering in the denial stage of grief for far too long. new york felt empty without him, without odette, without her mother, and it didn’t take much for her to pack her things and join her mother overseas, taking a gap year from school and focusing on herself, on her photography.

she spent a lot of time with a press pass around her neck. fashion shows and fashion shoots. major events and sports games. concerts and festivals. but there was one thing she loved more than anything else, and that was capturing the off-guard joy of life in candids of strangers on the street or in the crowds of bars and concerts. she found her own style, her own way of storytelling through a lens, and slowly but surely she began to heal.

still, there was no way around the way her heart felt a little heavier, a little darker, and how smiles from strangers at the other end of the bar made her stomach churn. she developed an aversion to new relationships of any sort, anything deeper than surface level becoming a bit too close for comfort. 

and while life traveling was fun, she missed having a sense of home, so she went to where the only other person who felt like home was, finding herself moving into a house with odette in victoria.

she’s been around for a couple of months, coming out of a gap year and looking to finish her degree in the spring. victoria, for now, is home.

these days she’s a little bit more cynical. a little bit less likely to let people too close. a little bit lost but also who isn’t when they’re 21

[wilhelmjfink]

The Great Divide - Chapter 8

I thought we were on chapter 7...

gonna try something new w/ these chapters in hopes that maybe they’ll get more notes! i’m gonna make a masterlist here for it tonight hopefully.... so the chapters will be in there along w/ the cover photo creds instead of hyperlinks b/c apparently that has something to do with it being searched.......... so whatever :-)

Previously: “I think you’re special, too, Riley.” Lidia leaned forward and used a tattered rag to comfortingly wipe away her tears. “And I don’t think that this is the end of your story. You just need to have hope. You can’t give up on Daryl.”

Rick knew Daryl well enough to always stay one step ahead of him.

And it was a good thing that he did, because the second that Warner decided to stop talking and instead offered a sly smile at the mention of Riley’s name, Daryl lunged at him.

Michonne immediately went to step in but Rick had already been anticipating it, though that didn’t make it much easier for him for control the man thrashing in his arms, trying his best to prevent him from reaching the stranger that sat in the corner before them helplessly.

It didn’t taken much to get Daryl to snap — it never had, especially when it came to Riley. But Warner obviously knew something; it was written all over his face. But he’d been scared when he’d woken up, bound and confused surrounded by three strangers after getting attacked by Daryl once already. If he didn’t learn to control his anger, Rick was worried he might just murder him — accidentally or otherwise — and that would leave them back at square one: absolutely clueless.

Riley had scolded him several times about losing his temper so violently, though she wasn’t any better at controlling her own. And he usually listened to her when she warned him, but she wasn’t here right now to stop him, and it was all because of the bastard in front of him.

“He knows somethin’, Rick!” Daryl growled, still trying half heartedly to escape from his friends grip. He was like a rabid wolf, snarling and gnashing his teeth in anger. “I’m gonna tear that smug look right off that fucker’s face!”

“How do you expect him to tell us what he knows if you break his jaw?” Rick responded firmly, losing his patience due to already having explained it earlier. He didn’t blame Daryl, though; the situation was infuriating in and of itself and the fact that they had a potential goldmine of information about Riley’s disappearance that sat in front of them refusing to speak only made it that much harder to retain his composure.

He was a cop. He’d done this a hundred times, if not more. Everybody had a breaking point... it was just a matter of finding it.

“Listen to me,” Rick sidestepped into Daryl’s point of view and made him focus, the snarl on his face not disappearing from his features and his blazing eyes not softening. “Guys like this, they all have a trigger — all of ‘em. We’ll get him to crack. Trust me. And gettin’ them to crack, well...” he threw a glance over his shoulder at Warner who hadn’t yet moved. “That’s the fun part.”

After a long moment of consideration Daryl finally nodded stiffly, clearly not thrilled or impressed with the lecture but stopping himself regardless. He hoped for Rick’s sake that the process of getting Warner to break was as fun as he said it would be. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be very long until he truly couldn’t stop himself and just completely lost it and they would be left with nothing once again, and it would be all his fault.

So they gagged him again, making sure it was tight enough to silence him but not too tight as to suffocate him, and waiting for the others to show up.

Warner sat quietly when they finally did Michonne wasn’t positive he noticed even when she turned around and closed the curtain in front of her.

“Rick, they’re here.”

He peered through the sheer fabric secretively, observing the crew that had slowly begun to show up one by one at the intersection at the end of the road. And sure enough, the black vehicles with a mysterious symbol painted on the side had arrived and parked in formation, waiting patiently for their friend to return with an innocent victim.

“That’s the same thing painted on what’s-his-names hoodie,” Daryl observed, peering over Rick’s shoulder at the crowd beneath him. “S’gotta be them, Rick. They know where Riley is.”

“That also means Warner really is with them.”

Daryl has already figured that, wanting to believe it was true regardless of whether or not it really was. It gave him something to latch onto, giving him a small spark of hope that he might actually see his girl again. 

“So, he really does know something... so, he belongs to us now.”

Daryl and Michonne were both surprised at the tone of Rick’s voice: dark and sinister, his anger bubbling to the surface as his adrenaline kicked in at the confirmation. He was seconds away from knocking Warner unconscious himself then, making his way over to him to tighten the gag around his mouth in an effort to reassure that he wouldn’t try to make any noise while his friends stood there waiting, watching on curiously. Rick didn’t even care at that point — he was sure they would leave after they decided that Warner was dead or gone... it was just the type of people that they were.

He also had a solid feeling now that Warner was aware of the whole situation, if he wasn't entirely responsible himself. But when he watched the group outside disperse for a short minute, hardly attempting to look for their teammate beyond the hotel building he observed them from, they returned to their vans and gave up. Just like that.

Now confident, Rick took it upon himself to release the built up anger he’d had to bury all morning by swinging at the stranger they had tied up, his fist colliding with his jaw loudly, sending him down to the rough carpet of the hotel room floor unconscious.

Daryl couldn’t help but smirk.

After the time they’d locked Jesus in the cell only for him manage to sneak his way out, they’d fool-proofed it, and Warner sat silently in the corner. He’d remained silent the entire trip home and, as frustrated and angry as Daryl was, he’d made an effort not to show it, knowing it would only encourage Warner’s smug silence.

And though it was driving him mad he took it as a good sign — a sign that he knew something.

And something was better than nothing, which is where he still currently stood.

“There’s lotsa ways to make people talk,” Rick said to the crew of five that sat before him at the long oak dining table in their makeshift city hall. “And not all of them need to involve violence.”

“I don’t want any use of violence,” Deanna said pointedly from her spot at the head of the table, arms crossed. Rick elected to have her there overseeing their meeting and give input on the thoughts and opinions, considering her position in the community. Her input mattered to him and his leadership mattered to her; he’d made it very clear he had only good intentions for the people of Alexandria... and they needed Rick’s guidance.

“That might be the only way to get him to talk,” Michonne argued.

But Deanna wouldn’t budge. “No — that is not what Alexandria is about.”

“Ya don’t get to choose what yer about anymore,” Daryl barked at her after having tried to keep his mouth shut in the matter. The whole process was infuriating him; his natural instincts were yelling at him to run outside of the gate and not stop until he found her. He paced back and forth in the hall, anxious and growing angrier with each passing minute.  “Not in this world. Dude ain’t gonna just offer up what he knows just ‘cause we pinky-promise to let ‘em go free.”

“Daryl’s right,” Michonne agreed, staring intently at Deanna across the table. She was just as angry as anybody about the whole situation it seemed, leaning more towards Daryl in way of support, knowing confidently that Warner wouldn’t budge unless they made him. “People are selfish, now more than ever. If you want Alexandria to survive, you need to learn how to handle yourselves other ways besides sitting around a table to chit-chat with somebody who wants everything that you have and doesn’t give a damn if he has to kill you to take it.”

Deanna only frowned. “There are other ways to communicate with people without hurting them. We aren’t animals — we are civil!”

“Ya know what? Yer right.” Daryl’s voice had risen and he was spitting venom in his words, obviously fed up with her stubbornness and unwillingness to negotiate with them. “S’a big waste of time, Rick. Do you think we should bake ‘em a tray of cookies or somethin’ instead? That might help.”

“Daryl...”

“Nah, nah, she’s gotta point!” He stopped and slammed his empty chair into the table, rounding the group as they sat quietly in front of him. “Or maybe we can just hug it outta him.”

Deanna, who sat clearly unamused at Daryl’s sarcasm, followed him with her eyes as he begun his pacing, trying to suppress his growing fury.

“That is not what I meant. You’re being ridiculous.”

He whipped around and stepped toward her, eyes narrowed, arm swinging. “I’m bein’ ridiculous? Did ya even look at the son of a bitch? We have no idea what he’s capable of, and there’s lots more of ‘em! And say we do let ‘em go after he caves; you didn’t see those bastards lined up at the end of the street with their rifles n’ armor n’ shit, lady. They ain’t fuckin’ friendly, and the lil’ asshole is just gonna run back home, tell ‘em all about Alexandria and ‘what yer about’, n’ then they’ll be knockin’ on the door the next day and I’m pretty sure they ain’t gonna sit around holdin’ our hands n’ singin’ Kum By Yah, all worried about ‘bein’ civil’.”

Daryl was fuming and Rick straightened up, again finding himself anticipating the tantrum his friend was going throwing, regardless of how correct his points were. He watched as Daryl continued to walk briskly back and forth, a scowl on his face, noticeably trying to maintain a level head and utterly failing. “Ya think that someone who literally steals people gives a shit about your god damn morals? I’d bet he don’t!”

Rick stayed silent, having been persuaded by Daryl’s outburst, but was still looking at Deanna and waiting for her response knowing she couldn’t argue.

But still, she only sighed. “Daryl...”

“If y’all are just gonna sit at this table n’ pray for her, to hell with ya. I ain’t gonna wait around for him to spill his guts n’ if y’all don’t let me beat it outta him, then I’m gonna go find her my damn self.”

And with that, he stormed out of the room, slamming the heavy door loudly behind him.

yall know i loooveee me some angry Daryl :)

[redditnosleep]

Somebody Broke Her

by TobiasWade. Warning for domestic violence.

You know the kind of girl I’m talking about. She looks like life chewed her up and spit her back out.

You can see it in her eyes, if you could even see her eyes. Her loose tangled hair covers most of her face, and she’s always staring at her feet. You can see it in her hunched shoulders, hear it in her mumbling voice. She’s both desperate and afraid to be heard, hating herself for everything she says and everything she doesn’t say.

She doesn’t live in my building, but I see her almost every day when she visits her boyfriend in the apartment next door. I’ve said hello to her a few times — she always flinches when I talk to her. The first thing out of her mouth is inevitably an apology — sorry for being in my way, or for being here too often, or for taking up one of the dozen empty parking spots. I asked her name once, but she said it didn’t matter.

“Why not? What am I supposed to say when I see you?” I asked.

“Nothing. You don’t need to. I’m nobody.”

“Well my name is —”

But she just kept walking. Head leaning against my neighbor’s door, hands in her pockets, looking like an ostrich trying to disappear into the sand.

“Bye nobody!” I chimed as the door opened to let her in.

I couldn’t be sure under the hair, but I think she almost smiled. “Bye somebody,” she murmured, disappearing into the doorway. My neighbor Jeff poked his head out — scrawny fellow with a soul patch and a beanie which seemed permanently fixed to his head. He nodded sharply at me like a fighter paying insincere respect to his opponent, slamming the door.

I liked watching Nobody from my balcony when she was parking her car. I liked the fluid grace of her movements which transformed regular motions like opening doors and stepping over obstacles into a choreographed dance. I must not have been the only one to notice either, because there always seemed to be someone hitting on her whenever I saw her. Not the charming kind either — fat oafs jumping out of their car like they were waiting for her, or pushy street rats backing her up against the building. I thought she was a prostitute at first, but she always rebuffed them so vehemently that I figured that wasn’t the case.

Often at night I’d see her leaning on the railing of my neighbor’s balcony, smoking a joint and staring off into space. I got the feeling that she was staring into a world that only she could see, but looking at her face, I also got the feeling that it wasn’t a very pretty world. I wish I could see it too. Sometimes I’d go out onto my own balcony and try to make an excuse for conversation, but she’d invariably duck back inside the moment she saw me. If I was lucky and she seemed to be in good spirits, I’d hear a “Bye somebody” before she went. A stupid joke, but it always made me smile.

She couldn’t have been happy, but I suppose it wasn’t any of my business. I’d hear her boyfriend yelling at her through the walls sometimes, although I never heard her say anything back. I figured that she was her own person with her own choices to make, and if she was being really mistreated, then she wouldn’t keep coming back. It’s not like I had proof that she was being abused or anything — and what I did guess, I quickly dismissed as petty jealousy, resolving not to interfere with her life.

That resolution lasted for about two months, but it ended last night. It was after dark and I was getting home late when I spotted Nobody pressed up against my building. Two men in leather jackets were several inches too close for innocent conversation, practically pressing themselves on her while she squirmed to get away. I honked my car horn at them, and one looked over his shoulder. Fat stupid face, mouth hanging part way open, he stared at me for a few seconds before turning back to her.

“I got to go,” I heard her say. “Somebody is waiting for me.”

I honked again. Fat-face turned to walk over to my car. “Cool it, asshole,” he shouted. “This target only has 11 points left anyway. Get your own damn girl.”

I rolled down my window. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You new or something?” he asked, fishing out his phone. He showed me the screen which depicted a GPS map of my neighborhood. Scattered throughout were little targets, each with a name and a life-bar like a video game character has. The target against my building was named ‘Cillia’, with 11/100 life remaining.

“I don’t know what the fuck that is, but I’m not playing,” I told him.

He laughed. More like a guffaw really — deep and guttural without the slightest hint of mirth. “You’re after that piece of shit and you’re not even getting points? Hey Mark — he actually wants this bitch.”

The other guy — presumably Mark — still had the girl against the wall. He made a half-lunge at her as she wriggled free, but it was just to scare her. She looked like she was about to run toward my car, but seeing the fat one over by me, she sprinted to her own vehicle instead. We all watched as she tore out of the parking lot, the biggest smile I’d ever seen plastered across her face.

“Don’t waste your time. Somebody already broke her.” Fat-face slammed my car with the palm of his hand as he turned to leave. “Let’s go Mark. There’s two more of them on this street.”

I was so relieved to see them go that I didn’t try to ask more questions. Nobody had a name. It was Cillia. And something was tracking her location and broadcasting it out to these creeps. It didn’t feel like I was meddling in someone else’s business anymore. I couldn’t just play dumb and let her sort this out for herself.

A few minutes later and I was hammering on my neighbor’s apartment. “Hey Jeff, you in there?”

“Bug off,” came the muffled reply.

“It’s about the game you’re playing with Cillia.” It seemed pretty vague to me, but if he was involved then he’d know what I was talking about.

Loud shuffling like someone crossing the room in a hurry, and the door opened a moment later. He was wearing nothing but his boxers and his beanie, skinny body blocking the door.

“Yeah, what about the game?” he asked. I hesitated, unsure what to say next. He must have misread my silence, because his face became animated and hopeful. “Hey did I win the prize or something?”

I nodded stiffly. Jeff threw the door open to welcome me in, practically dancing with excitement. “Holy shit I knew it! I’ve been on the leader-board for weeks — it was only a matter of time. Seriously competitive shit, you know? I’ve got everything ready for you, come on in.” He rushed to a cabinet under the sink and began hauling out cardboard boxes. I still didn’t know what the hell was going on though, so I had to play along to get more answers.

“How many points are you at now?” I asked.

“723,” without hesitation. “19 separate targets, although I’ve been getting most of the points from Cillia, as you know.” He plopped two cardboard boxes on the coffee table beside me, flaying them open for inspection. The greasy smell of stale sex was nauseating. “This one’s got all the condoms in it,” he said. Hundreds of them — all used — neatly tied off into little balloons. “Then this one has all the recordings.”

“723 is a lot,” I said, pretending to be impressed. “Tell me how you were keeping score.”

He looked suspicious for a moment, but it passed. If my question raised any red flags, then he was so pleased with himself that he didn’t dwell on it. “It’s legit, I swear. I used the ‘Break Her’ rulebook and everything. 10 points for humiliating her. 15 points for taking a personal item or making a big decision for her. 25 for unwanted sex or something physical. Then I’ve got a bunch of the small ones I’ve been building up — the daily criticisms, isolating her from friends and family, that sort of thing. What’s the prize going to be?”

“Hold on a minute, I got to ask all the questions first. Standard procedure, you know.”

“How come you never told me you worked for ‘Break Her’? You must have known that I played,” Jeff asked. Again the suspicion, this time lingering on his face.

I shrugged, making notes on my phone as though I was dutifully recording his answers. “What do you think the purpose of the game was? And how did you get into it?”

“Isn’t it obvious? You just got to break her. I started playing when my buddy got dumped by his ex. He paid to have her registered in the system, and I thought it would be fun to join so I could start harassing her. At first it was just to support my buddy, but it was pretty helpful seeing where all the vulnerable chicks were. Turned out I was pretty good at it, so I decided to try and get enough points to win the prize.”

“Uh huh.” I typed as he talked. My fingers were literally shaking. “And Cillia? Did you ever love her?”

He laughed. It wasn’t a pleasant sound. A pause, then: “Oh, are you serious? Come on, man. It’s just a game. So what’s the deal? Am I getting the prize today or not?”

I didn’t look up from my phone. I was so disgusted that I couldn’t even look at him. The silence was excruciating.

“Is this legal?” I breathed. Silence again, as both of us digested what I said. My cover was blown.

“You lying piece of shit,” he grunted, protectively ripping his boxes away from me. “You trying to steal my points or something?”

He was on me before I even realized what was happening. Bony arms wrapped around me, the momentum flinging me to the ground. He got in a good hit to my jaw before I flipped him on his back. I was bigger and stronger than him, but he twisted under me like a feral animal.

“She’s mine! You don’t know how much work I put into that bitch!” he roared. I punched him to shut him up. He spit blood at me, and I hit him again. I never thought it would feel so good to hurt someone, but now that I started, I couldn’t stop myself. Next I knew my hands were so soaked in blood that it ran between my knuckles like rivers. Jeff wasn’t moving. And I was okay with that.

Jeff’s phone beeped where it lay on the ground. Somehow the weight of what I’d just done didn’t hit until I heard it. It beeped again, and I lifted it to see what was going on.

It was a notification from ‘Break Her’. I opened the app, and saw a short questionnaire. Humiliation, abuse, control — a daily checklist for him to go through to get his points. What the hell did I get myself involved in? And who was I to think I could make any difference when a whole world full of terrible people were trying to destroy her?

At the bottom of the form it asked: ‘Did you see her smile today?’ Numb and overwhelmed, I clicked ‘yes’. Immediately Cillia’s life-bar jumped a point, up to 12/100.

Well that’s some difference at least. Not much, but it’s a start.

[journeysintowebcomics]

Stand Still Stay Silent Liveblog #38

UPDATE 38: Just S’m Weird Spirits Is All

Last time Lalli had found a new place to camp, and also showed how his mage abilities don’t come for free. He was bleeding from his nose and eyes. Unfortunately, even though the path was cleared, going through it made a husk fall to the ground and tear down a wall, and now there’s one of these evil things scurrying behind them. Let’s continue.

First I’d like to thank you for the translations I was sent! And also apparently there’ll be a page about luontos at some point, so I’m looking forward to reading it. Also!

ravensofskyhold says: And missing that one troll: it was behind a wall, and probably not a problem, before cattank got stuck and pulled those flesh things, which then caused the wall those were attached to break. It’s one of those hard to predict things, like the weather.

Ah. When you put it like that I can’t disagree. Guess it was just really bad luck, then. I just hope this won’t cause them much trouble, because this day hasn’t been good for them so far.

Tuuri’s feeling guilty about having shouted at Lalli, but I think it was fine. Sure, Lalli wasn’t taking it well, but it sure pushed him to fix his mistake! And something good came from it. What may have been a problem has turned into a situation that was better than before. I’m sure Lalli won’t hold this against Tuuri, even if he was upset back then. Sigrun kind of agrees, on grounds that shouting makes people move and start doing stuff.

The path Lalli indicated them to take leads to some sort of...building, far in what seems to be a forest? The building is intact, for the most part, but there are scorch marks, enough to make Sigrun ask Mikkel is the crew he was in time ago is responsible for those. Apparently it isn’t. Maybe it was a fire from before this city was abandoned. If the building has lasted until now despite having been on fire before, then it must be quite sturdy. What’s once they pass that part is rather dilapidated. There are fences, there’s that spiny wire that’s usually on top of fences...are those piles of sandbags? Could this have been occupied by military of some sort before?

Tuuri’s an expert driving, using the tank as a ram to break through fences and dragging them with it for who knows how long. I have doubts that was intentional, haha!

Once the car is expertly parked against those poles specifically made to stop vehicles from parking beyond them, Tuuri goes to consult Lalli about how secure this entire place is. Sigrun wants to know if there’s anything to be worried about in this area. I don’t...think there is? I mean, if there were, I think Lalli would have brought them here. Or if there’s anything like the husks from before, then they’re dead and therefore safe to be around. I doubt any place is 100% safe anywhere in this city, yeah, but he’d have said anything before now, yeah?

...

Or maybe not. He’s not very good at warning about stuff. I admit all those buildings kind of make me nervous. There could be something inside.

Oh, just some weird spirits, that’s all? Doesn’t sound like nothing to me, geez. Someone sure isn’t worried about them, though, so I guess it’s fine, but still...I’d be creeped out knowing there are ‘weird spirits’ nearby. This must be nothing Lalli hasn’t seen before – more mage stuff.

I can see why Lalli chose this place. Since there’s no danger in those buildings, this is a pretty good defensive place. There’s only one way in, and it’s rather narrow, so the biggest creatures can’t enter and cause havoc in here. All sides are protected. There’s a lot of open space, good for maneuvering if they have to drive. Pretty good spot, I’d say. It’ll be a shame to have to leave it someday.

Ah, the chapter is ending? Guess there won’t be book searching this time. Oh well. There are who-knows-how-many-days left in this expedition, they can do it tomorrow. For now it’s worldbuilding time! Neato. Before that, hm, closing words for the chapter, as usual.

I think it’s undeniable Lalli was the main character in this chapter. It was all to develop him, flashback included, and it was done quite well! I feel I understand Lalli a little better, which is always good. All in all, I’m satisfied with this. Well done, Ms. Sundberg. Okay, let’s continue.

That’s what Lalli was doing with the dog’s skull at the start of this chapter. It’s a rather sweet ritual, the meaning is more or less what I expected – letting the animal’s soul free – but I didn’t guess the part about reincarnating in deities’ herds. I think if Emil had known what it was all for, he’d have been comforted.

There it is! A page about luontos – a long page, with lots of details. Let’s see...

So, luontos are these animal spirits that follow a person during their entire life, starting from early childhood. They can influence a person’s health and development, and through effort and hardship a luonto can be strengthened. I bet mages try hard to strengthen their luontos, Lalli included. I mean, the luontos can be used to make spells stronger, why not to strengthen luontos?

That’s alarming. I hope this information being here doesn’t mean this’ll happen to Lalli. Hah! But okay, you know, I wonder...is this a true believe in Finland? I’m curious about that. Guess I’ll have to research a little more once I have some more time.

Worldbuilding over, new chapter start!

...ah. Suddenly this new place doesn’t seem so safe. That’s a freakishly huge thing. I hope it’s metaphorical or something, instead of that literally being underneath the ground. Does that qualify as a giant? It doesn’t seem like a group of trolls, maybe it doesn’t, but the size is fitting for a giant. Also it looks like a big facehugger. Freaky.

I don’t think anyone lived here. Not only I had the impression there were several buildings here, this type of buildings are too large for someone to live in – or at least to serve exclusively as houses. The White House, for example. It is a residence – as far as I know -- but it also has many other functions, so the residence part is small in comparison to the size of the whole structure. If anyone lived here, then it must be something like that, yeah?

Heck, maybe they’ll be lucky and these are libraries of some type. That’d be good.

Reynir is a mage, right, so of course he’d notice there’s something off about their surroundings! He must be seeing the spirits, or if not seeing them, then at least sensing their presence enough to be worried about it. Or...who knows, maybe everyone else can see them too, and just don’t understand they’re spirits.

Or maybe not. Sigrun and Mikkel went inside, took a look around, and saw nothing. I can’t see anything either. Reynir keeps insisting, though, so Ms. Captain gestures him to approach and point where exactly the weird spirits are at. Hm. I hope that, even if they don’t believe him, they don’t start thinking he’s insane or something. I mean, they know mages exist – even if again, they don’t believe it, apparently. Spirits aren’t that much of a stretch if a mage talks about them. True, Lalli won’t be the one to talk about spirits, but Tuuri can vouch for him.

Okay, now I can see it. That sure is creepy. So, in this story, ghosts and spirits are these...vaguely-shaped black blots, with shining eyes. I can’t blame Reynir for being scared. Maybe it’s for the better only the mages can see them. At least Sigrun’s taking this seriously. Mikkel is all ‘this is a waste of time’, paraphrasing, but Sigrun is actually asking questions and assessing the danger. Are...these dangerous? Can they like possess someone, I wonder? Could mages be in more danger than the rest, perhaps in International Mage Dreamhub? With some luck there’ll be a worldbuilding page once this chapter is over.

Well no wonder there are ghosts here, there are also corpses – well, more like skeletons. They must have been dead since long ago, and not from the rash illness. They were sick once, but the illness didn’t advance so much they died from it. Mikkel’s the one who identifies that. Hm. It’s kind of merciful they died from any other causes. At least they didn’t undergo a mutation as tragic and awful as turning into a troll. Perhaps they died of old age? Or some other unrelated sickness?

Hah! Yeah, I knew Mikkel wasn’t officially a doctor. I mean...this crew isn’t what a lot of people would call ‘top-notch’, despite them being competent enough to not die in the first day. A medic that isn’t a medic fits it just fine.

Soooooo they were abandoned. They were left here to die, and these people didn’t even know. My guess is that they never woke up, and they dried and wasted away on these beds. I hope they were in a coma or something, and therefore unaware, instead of waking up and unable to move. Less horror that way. But yeah, no surprise there are ghosts, this situation is perfect to make a person have regrets and rancor.

Also, why didn’t they come back, the ones who left? The note seems to indicate there was a chance of these people waking up and reading it, yet they never returned. Perhaps something happened to them? Or were they so callous as to leave a few people to rot here unattended and alone despite the chance of them waking up? A mystery for the ages.

Since there’s no immediate danger to deal with, Sigrun decides it’s time to leave and return to the tank, and Reynir comments the spirits here are nothing like the spirits at home. Ah, so he has been seeing spirits all along, even before coming here. He just didn’t think it was anything special. Maybe in Iceland mages aren’t common, so he didn’t know how to know he was one. While they were leaving, the cat puffs up again. Hah! This is why having a cat is useful! Good for them!

But the consequences of this happening will have to wait for next time.

Next time: in five updates

[gamebrocorey-blog]

Battlefield V Beta First Impressions: War never felt so GOOD

   The Battlefield V multiplayer open beta just dropped this week and has LITERALLY TAKEN OVER MY LIFE! I don’t know if you noticed, but I haven’t been posting as many blogs as I normally do a week because of this game. Battlefield V feels SOOOOOO DAMN GOOD!!! I know it’s just a beta, there’s a limited amount of weapons and maps, BUT THAT’S NOT STOPPING ME FROM SPENDING ALL MY FREE TIME PLAYING IT! Personally, Battlefield V feels like the natural evolution from Battlefield 1. I was a bit worried that Battlefield V would be too similar to it’s predecessor, but quite the contrary, feeling different and fresh! The gameplay is what you expect from a Battlefield game. A less series war simulator, with tons of chaos and fun to be had! Battlefield V was a game I wasn’t too excited fro prior to this beta, but now I have seen the light and CAN’T WAIT to dive head first into the full release! 

   For those Battlefield veterans, the gameplay again is something familiar to you all. Movement feels a bit more fluid and slightly faster, with more options including crawling on your back to fire, as well as rolls that you can do on the ground to avoid dangerous situations. You can also be physically knocked back if you come in contact with a massive explosion. For example, the one game-mode has you arming bombs in order to win. Stand to close to the bomb when it explodes and you will be knocked back onto the ground on your back, making you have to get back up. This is an interesting change, making it somewhat more realistic and a bit strategic. Defenders won’t be able to simply rush a point while it’s seconds away from exploding, and attackers will need to be cautious about camping the points. Another slight change to the movement is the addition of the fortification mechanic. Fortifications are barricades that players can freely build with the use of their trusty toolbox. There are many different types of fortifications ranging in size and strength, and they can be destroyed with enough damage done to them. I personally haven’t built any at the moment, so I cannot comment on them. I was worried these fortifications could potentially ruin the game, but as of right now they seem to add minor effects to combat but nothing outrageous. 

   The weapons of Battlefield V feel GREAT!!! Pretty typical stuff you’d see in a World War 2 game. You got your STG44 assault rifle, M1A1 Carbine, MP40 sub machine gun, Springfield sniper rifle and so on! I spend most of my time jumping from class to class and all the weapons I’ve tried feel amazing! I also like the customization options this time around. In Battlefield V, players can completely customize their guns cosmetically excluding sights and scopes, and weapons can also be upgraded to have passive perks. The cosmetic changes are mostly camos on different parts of the guns, with the exception being the sights and scopes. You will need to unlock these from using the weapons, but you eventually be able to get a wide-range of sights and scopes! Upgrades are passive abilities for weapons, such as quicker aim-down-sight time, as well as less sway when aiming-down-sights. These upgrades vary per weapon, and can even give some physical attachments, like a bipod or bayonet for snipers! As for the vehicles, again, more research is required. I generally don’t use the vehicles too much in Battlefield games, but I do want to give them a shot! I used to LOVE the tanks in Battlefield 3 and 4 so I’m sure I can fall back in love in Battlefield V.  There are 2 maps in the beta and they are both fun! I especially like the circular town map because of the close-quarters/long-range engagements. I can’t wait to get the full version of the game to really try all the toys they added to this Battlefield!  Oh, and on the last note! I don’t know if it’s supposed to be called Battlefield V or Battlefield 5? V or 5???... ehhhh! I’m wasting too much time trying to write a bit at the end here. I’m going back to playing Battlefield V! Later nerds 🖐

[gisdrones]

Benefits of Using Commercial Drone with the Help of Inspection Team

Drones are quickly becoming one of the best tools in the commercial construction business. Not only do the aerial surveying drone offers a cost effective method of aerial photography, but can also be programmed to monitor everything from roof lines to electrical systems. This makes them invaluable for business owners. It used to be that construction projects could not afford such a technology, but now the cost of commercial drone inspection has dropped to a price that anyone can afford. What does it mean for you? Here are just a few of the many benefits to using commercial drone photography for your next construction project.

Improve Safety Industrial drone inspections have really done wonders for the safety process for construction companies. With a qualified commercial drone inspection team, you can safely inspect virtually any level of an industrial building, regardless of the magnitude of the completed building. Instead of wait until the exterior of your newly finished office building is finished, an iSky Drone commercial drone surveyor can simply fly up to the surface, and with an easy motion detection algorithm, you can see... well... everything!

Reduce Costs Saving time on construction is important, but don't forget about the big picture. Drones are a great tool for increasing the effectiveness of any inspection process. In addition to saving labor costs due to fewer hours of manual labor, commercial drone inspections can help reduce your carbon footprint. Since most commercial drone inspections take place over large areas, the impact on carbon emissions is extremely great. Just think: instead of driving your car down a two-mile strip, you can use your drone and do the entire drive in less than half the time! This means fewer greenhouse gas emissions and less waste for your business.

Reduce Potential Causes of Damage When it comes to protecting the environment, there are literally thousands of ways to go about it. However, industrial drone inspection is becoming the latest and greatest solution. With the potential to survey over 500 square miles without the need for a ground crew, drone inspections can prevent damage to sensitive sites, such as mines or power plants. You might also be able to detect problems before they become major safety hazards. As more industries discover the great benefits of using industrial drones, more companies will realize the need to contract with experienced aerial surveillance experts.

Increase Environmental Awareness Another huge benefit of using commercial drone technology in your inspections is improved environmental awareness. For example, you can now scan an area without sending anyone up in a controlled aircraft, thus decreasing the amount of trash, debris, or animals that enter into the area during the inspection. With so much trash currently entering our country, we have little hope of reducing this problem any time soon. By scanning an area before the machines leave, you are also reducing the risk of someone mistakenly deleting data that is pertinent to their business, such as waste disposal records. These types of mistakes create incredible amounts of trash, which ultimately ends up costing companies millions and causing even more environmental problems.

Provide Complete Insurance Coverage Just like any other type of aerial vehicle, UAVs can make flight safer and more efficient, but they also require a constant stream of fuel in order to operate. When you combine this with the fact that most of these machines carry their own fuel and are not tethered to a stationary location, it means that there is a risk of losing them during an insurance inspection. A good example of this would be if the engine failure caused a UAV to turn back and land at a nearby airport. Insurance companies have a legal right to seize any grounded drones due to these types of incidents. By using a UAV insurance inspection kit, you can minimize your exposure to these legal troubles and instead focus your attention on completing the job successfully and completely.

Minimize Costs In addition to the benefits above, there are a wide variety of different costs associated with operating UAVs. While they cost less to purchase and operate, their total cost can add up quite quickly, particularly if you need to pay for support or maintenance on your drones. A comprehensive commercial insurance inspection package will cover the cost of damages and repairs to a UAV if an accident occurs, making this type of insurance coverage the most economical option. Not only will it save you money, it may also protect your company's reputation should damages occur from an irresponsible employee.

If you currently operate one or more UAVs, you know how quickly they can grow in value. As a result, it's imperative that you fully understand the cost of operating these machines and adopt drone technology that minimizes these costs. When you use an inspection package, you will take all the guesswork out of your operation and instead allow the experts to complete an exhaustive inspection on your behalf. This flexible option will also provide you with the peace of mind that comes with knowing that your company is taking the best safety precautions possible.

[gracespilkerr]

10 Reasons Firefighters Are Important to the Community

As a firefighter, I have the privilege of serving my community and being someone that residents can depend upon. But, a firefighter’s role means a lot more than just putting out fires. 

So, why are firefighters so important to the community?

Firefighters are dependable members of the community who assist in a wider range of situations than you might expect. We are rescuers, community leaders, social support, and role models. We can be there to help in all kinds of emergency and non-emergency situations. 

This often means providing guidance and community support when the public may consider us to be off-duty. 

We are always ready to respond to major fires, incidents, and accidents when the call comes in, but will also work with schools, care homes, and all kinds of other places where we can.

Why are firefighters so valuable to the community?

Firefighters are important members of the community because they are trained to deal with all kinds of needs and all kinds of people.

 Firefighters will handle residential, commercial and wildfires

Firefighters can provide medical assistance as EMTs

Firefighters can assist at the scene of road traffic accidents

 Firefighters can deal with hazardous materials

Firefighters are stationed in some niche departments for specialist services

Firefighters can enforce fire codes and preventative measures in commercial buildings

Firefighters can inspire the next generation at fun open days

Firefighters can give safety talks at schools and nursing homes

Firefighters can help animals in need too (yes we get called for all sorts of animals problems)

Firefighters can create a two-way relationship with the community

Let’s learn a little more about the 10 ways that firefighters are so important to the community.

1) Firefighters will handle residential, commercial, and wild fires.

It might sound a little obvious to say that we help the community by putting out fires, but this is still one of our most important jobs. 

We have the training and equipment ready to tackle all kinds of fires – from small scale kitchen fires to major blazes in office blocks or apartment buildings. Everyone must have confidence in us to show up at your address as soon as possible to protect lives and property.

Residential fires are a common cause of emergency calls. Fires can occur in homes through accidents with candles and flammable objects, faulty wiring, malfunctioning appliances, lightning strikes, and more. 

This is why we must prove ourselves to be strong, friendly community leaders. The same is true for any commercial building fires, such as office blocks, restaurants, and stores.

Can firefighters tackle wildfires too?

Wildland fires are another problem that we have to deal with and will require special training. This is more common in rural areas and hotter regions where there is a greater risk of wildland fire in forests or grasslands. 

Wildfires are caused by dry weather but also by arson and accidents with campfires and cigarettes. 

Experienced wildland firefighters trained for these situations can head out and manage the fire effectively. In areas like California, this training is more essential than ever as wildfires become more frequent.

Our role as community leaders here is as much about creating a best plan for tackling a fire as it is about preventing them. We all know Smokey’s statement “only you can prevent wildfires”. Well, it is up to fire services to ensure that this message gets across.

2) Firefighters can provide medical assistance as EMTs and Paramedics

Firefighters may be known best as those that literally fight fires, but that isn’t what the majority of calls are for. 

Instead, most calls are for medical emergencies. 

We can act as first responders in times of crisis to reach vulnerable patients. This also means that we can provide patient treatment and transfer as needed so they can receive treatment in the hospital. 

So, it’s not unusual to see a fire truck at the scene of a medical emergency.

Are all firemen EMTs or Paramedics?

Usually, but not always. There is a requirement for many departments that anyone who wants to work as a firefighter must undergo EMT training (feel free to click the link to find EMT/Medic training near you).

We can either have this prior to our application or some departments will provide training on the job. 

However, some very large or very small departments or volunteer departments may not require any sort of medical training as they don’t provide any medical assistance.

EMT training lets us handle medical emergencies that don’t require invasive treatment. This could be as simple as tending to a wound or a burn – both of which are essential skills on the fire ground – or administer CPR.

Most firemen are EMTs but not all firemen are paramedics. 

There is a distinction based on our training and experience which determines the types of procedures we can handle. EMTs can act as first responders to assess a scene and deal with those non-invasive issues. 

But, we may need to call in a paramedic firefighter for assistance. Either way, you can be sure that you are in safe hands.

3) Firefighters can assist at the scene of road traffic accidents.

Because we can provide both firefighting services and medical assistance, we often come and deal with road accidents in our district. 

The NFPA offers some interesting data on this. The stats may be from 2014, but they give a good idea of what we do.

In 2014, US fire departments dealt with 4,461,000 incidents on roads.

27% of those were on highways. This isn’t a big surprise given the volume of traffic and speed of the vehicles

A further 24% occurred on residential roads.

67% of calls were for EMS and rescues. This includes those trapped in vehicles, major trauma from a collision, or cardiac arrests.

Just 6% were car fires that weren’t related to EMS calls

Fire crews have the equipment necessary to tackle fires in vehicles and to extract victims from overturned cars. 

Sometimes there is no way to safely retrieve someone with suspected spinal fractures or head injuries unless we take the roof of the car off or cut the door off. 

Our EMS and paramedic training also allows us to handle medical incidents at the scene. We can work on patients in cardiac arrest, treat burns and wounds for the best prognosis, and much more. This range of skills gives victims the best chance of survival.

Furthermore, we have the organizational skills in scene management to ensure that we handle incidents effectively and efficiently. 

We can work with the police and ambulance crews to prioritize cases in multiple-car incidents, and we can work to evacuate tunnels and support other drivers and bystanders.

4) Firefighters can deal with hazardous materials

Hazmat training is an aspect of firefighting that the public usually doesn’t know much about. But, if there is a major incident involving hazardous materials then someone needs to be able to control the scene and mitigate risk. 

Hazardous materials could be anything from chemical spills from trucks to radioactive hazards from power plants, biological waste, or even chemical weapons. 

Experienced hazmat techs can use protective equipment to access the situation, strategize the best approach, and contain the release.

Firefighters need to be prepared for these operations because we never know what we will encounter on a call. 

For example, an initial call out to a truck crash might not mention that the truck contains dangerous materials or is leaking a lot of fuel. 

If we don’t handle the spill correctly, it could lead to an explosion or endanger lives by way of lethal vapors. We also have to consider the risks in warehouses and plants with high quantities of household chemicals like bleach. 

Also, you might be surprised at the number of incidents we are called for involving illegal drug labs.

5) Firefighters are trained for unique situations.

Because we have all of this specialist training and the skills to handle many different situations, you will find specialist departments in various locations. 

This ability to diversify is essential for providing the best possible care and support in a community. 

For example, areas based by water – either with lakefronts or coastal areas – need teams with experience in water rescue and marine fire services. 

If that area has a major port, you will probably find there is a crew on hand to handle any accidents, fires or chemical spills in the vicinity. 

The same is true for any airports. 

It is safer to have engines and appropriate equipment on-site in case of any major fires in the buildings or aircraft crashes.

Teams in more rural areas may have departments that specialize in wildfire, search and rescue, and rope access. Firefighters have the opportunity to learn lots of new skills on the job so that they can handle anything thrown at them. 

This also includes disaster relief efforts in cases of storm damage and flooding. The job really is more varied than you realize when you first consider becoming a firefighter as a kid. 

It isn’t all rushing out on fire trucks to put out burning buildings.

6) Firefighters can protect buildings through fire codes and regulations.

A lot of the work that goes on in a fire department is about prevention rather than suppression. We don’t want to have to go out and fight fires every day when we could educate people on how to avoid them instead. 

Part of this response involves dealing with fire codes and regulations. There are more than 300 fire standards and consensus codes used by the NFPA. 

It is up to local authorities and fire marshals to ensure that building owners comply with them. If we don’t, we could put people at risk.

These codes and standards relate to the fire equipment contained in a building, both in their effectiveness and their maintenance. This means separate codes for sprinkler systems, fire alarms, foam systems, and other extinguishers. 

There are also regulations on the storage of hazardous materials in a building, such as fuel in a garage, dry cleaning materials, or other flammable or aerosol products. 

In addition, there are all the codes on building occupancy, escape routes, ventilation, and more.

This is something that we don’t really think about unless we are personally responsible for the upkeep of a building or business. 

We can walk past fire extinguishers and under smoke detectors and forget that someone is responsible for ensuring they work and are maintained regularly.

7) Firefighters can inspire the next generation during public events

Firefighters are great role models for the next generation. Kids can learn a lot from us, not only about how to stay safe but as responsible members of their community. 

That is why it is so important that we take the time to engage with children and the community in an educational setting. 

Options will vary between stations and departments. But, it isn’t uncommon to see fire crews attending schools for special visits or opening up the station for tours. You may also find that a station will arrange a fire truck drive by for birthday celebrations.

School visits are a great way for us to teach important information to large groups of children in a safe, familiar environment. 

This is ideal for younger children learning the basics of fire safety and prevention. They have the support of their peers and teachers while we talk to them about what they should do in an emergency. 

These trips also offer a chance for kids to see us away from the flashing lights and emergencies. Children may associate us with scary situations, so it is nice to remind them that we are friendly, normal people underneath it all.

Can I take my child to a fire station?

Another option for kids is to come and see the fire station and learn more there. This is a great idea for smaller groups of responsible kids. 

Schools can send classes to learn more about the equipment, fire trucks, and the procedures in the station. This could be helpful for pre-teens that are interested in fire prevention as a possible career. 

The tour gives a more realistic insight into what it means to be a firefighter.

Depending on the facilities, children may also get to take part in some hands-on activities. 

This could include a set-up in a smoke-filled room or a burn trainer where they need to use what they learned to get out safely. It is extreme, but it is the sort of immersive experience that stays with them.

Can children become fire cadets?

Many fire departments will have a fire cadet program where teenagers can gain skills and training. This is a great stepping stone into the world of professional fire service. Cadets can learn some basic skills related to firefighting and fire science. 

They also get to build relationships with the team and life skills that will set them up for adulthood. This is a great program for those aged 16-20. Those that are successful and enjoy the role can then go on to college or work on their qualifications in order to join the fire service.

8) Firefighters can provide guidance for seniors.

It isn’t just children and teenagers that can benefit from a little community support and guidance. There are plenty of vulnerable seniors out there that might not have adequate fire safety equipment or plans in place in their homes.

One way that we can do this is to visit seniors within their homes. We can come to them to take a look around and see how we can help. 

These home assessments are simple, friendly evaluations of the fire equipment and hazards in a property. 

Some residents may live in homes without a clear route to a fire exit. Cluttered homes with narrow halls are a problem, especially for seniors that also need walking aids. 

Seniors may also have inactive smoke alarms or find that they struggle to change the batteries. Smoke alarm installation and battery change is a simple task that can save lives.

Will firefighters visit my nursing home?

Some fire departments will allow care providers to schedule a visit to a nursing home. We can come and talk to staff and residents as a group so that everyone is on the same page. 

Residents may need a refresher course on basic fire safety, especially if they have cognitive problems. The staff also needs a plan in place that is comprehensive and understood by all in the event of a fire. 

This means developing evacuation routes, emergency meeting points, and protocols for handling fires. We will also help to test alarms and evaluate equipment.

9) Firefighters can help animals in need 

A lot of the roles of firefighters in the community relate to the way we help our fellow human residents. But, there will also be times when we need to rescue animals too. 

We will try and save any creature that is at risk in the event of the fire where we can. This means that we will always do our best to locate and treat pets where possible. 

In fact, you may have seen videos and stories online of firefighters performing CPR on dogs. These animals can suffer the same effects of smoke inhalation and we can use our training and equipment to revive them. They are part of your family so we will always do our best for them.

Do firefighters really rescue cats from trees?

Somehow, the idea of the firefighter saving a cat from a tree has become quite the cliché. You see it all the time in cartoons. 

Perhaps we use it in kid’s cartoons to show the lighter side of being a firefighter, rather than all the emergencies and destruction. It is true. We do save cats from trees, roofs, and anywhere else that they get stuck. 

We also save birds caught up in netting and retrieve ducklings from drains. Assuming it doesn’t put a firefighters life or safety at risk, if there is a creature in distress and we have the tools to help, we will help.  

10) Firefighters have one of the strongest support systems and symbiotic relationships in the community

Finally, there is a strong system of support between firefighters and their communities. Often, we look towards community leaders as providers of a service with a one-way system of care support. 

We expect the police to be there to protect us from harm, arrest the bad guys, and offer security. 

But, we don’t always look at what we can do to help them.

It is different with firefighters and this comes down to the importance of community spirit and that equal relationship on both sides. 

Small towns have dedicated teams of volunteer firefighters (check out our article on why you should become a volunteer firefighter) with members of the local community stepping up to help. 

Some may become paid firefighters after training or just continue to do their civic duty. As a result of this dedication, and other issues with funding, local communities see the sacrifice made. 

There is an appreciation of local concerns and a strong relationship built on respect where communities and firefighters help each other.

What is the adopt a fire station program?

One way we see this two-way relationship is through local adoption programs. Residents can adopt a station or a hydrant to play their part in looking after their area. 

Adoption programs for stations give citizens the chance to donate their time, money, or other goods to stations in need. This could be equipment for the kitchens, home-cooked meals, workout equipment, or anything else of use.

There are many reasons why firefighters are so important to the community.

These 10 reasons firefighters are important for the community are just the start. Firefighters are beloved in the community because they are a consistent and active part of it. 

They aren’t just there in those emergency situations to save lives and fight fires. They are always on call to offer support to the most vulnerable so that everyone has the protection they need in their homes. 

They inspire people to do better in their community and teach people of all ages about hazards and how to handle them. There is no issue to big or small and communities respect that.

Sources:

https://www.usfa.fema.gov/prevention/outreach/fire_safe_seniors.html

https://www.nfpa.org//-/media/Files/News-and-Research/Fire-statistics-and-reports/Fact-sheets/FDRoadwayIncidentFactSheet.pdf

https://www.usnews.com/news/healthiest-communities/articles/2018-12-26/adopt-a-fire-station-programs-spark-community-connection-support

from FirefighterNOW https://firefighternow.com/10-reasons-firefighters-are-important-to-the-community/

From https://catherinelee4.blogspot.com/2020/07/10-reasons-firefighters-are-important.html

source https://catherinelee4.wordpress.com/2020/07/15/10-reasons-firefighters-are-important-to-the-community/

via Blogger http://pppearlyn.blogspot.com/2020/07/10-reasons-firefighters-are-important.html

[digitalmarketingcourses]

8 Step approach of a Successful Digital Marketer

There has never been a more exciting time to be a digital marketer. But it’s also harder and more challenging than ever before.

Just ask yourself the following questions:

Can you accurately measure the ROI of your campaigns?

Did your ad on the internet lead to an increase in sales?

How many of those people who have shared your video or liked your Facebook posts have actually made purchases from your company?

Are you scratching your head trying to answer any of these? You’re not alone.

42% of marketers agree that proving the ROI of their marketing activities is one of the biggest challenges they face within their company.

Source: HubSpot’s State of Inbound Report, 2018

Only 1 out of 4 marketers are confident in their ability to accurately measure digital media ROI.

Source: The Nielsen CMO Report, 2018

The ever-evolving digital landscape, newly emerging technologies, and savvier consumers are constantly keeping marketers on their toes. And more importantly, there is an increasing pressure on them to show the financial returns of their marketing efforts. Why? Because now, it’s all about providing results. Gone are the days when a digital ad campaign could be measured by the sheer number of site visitors or page views.

With top management in more and more organizations equating performance with ROI, you need to be able to show the value you create for every marketing penny spent. But that’s where the biggest challenge lies.

This guide will highlight three major problems that are stopping you from becoming a successful digital marketer, what you should do and eight steps to get there. We’ll pair each step with a practical “to do” section and how professional guidance by Digitechniks can help you master the step.    

Problem 1: When you’re focused on the low-hanging fruit, you lose sight of the bigger picture

This is exactly what’s happening with a majority of digital marketers. They emphasize on generating more traffic and leads as a part of their digital marketing strategy, often ignoring the fact that these are low-hanging fruit that tell only part of the story.

67% of marketers consider increasing leads to be their top priority compared to 35% who prioritise converting leads into customers.

Source: 2019 B2B Marketing Mix Report, Sagefrog Marketing Group

In other words, most marketers are stuck at the top of the funnel and track their ROI in terms of the amount of traffic or leads they are getting.

The result? When their CEOs ask — “How does X video shares or X number of ‘likes’ tie directly back into our sales?” — they struggle to quantify these numbers.  

That’s because unless you know how to nurture and convert the ‘likes’ and ‘shares’ into buyers, those numbers don’t really mean anything.

Problem 2: Without proof of work, you may fail to make a business case for your marketing initiatives

Consider this. The average cost per 1000 impressions on Google, Facebook or other digital channels falls anywhere between Rs.50-1500, depending on the industry and the nature of the business. That’s how much a company has to pay for 1000 Impressions on their digital ads.

With more businesses going digital, these numbers are going to rise even further in the coming days. No wonder, the stakes for marketers are higher than ever and there’s a mounting pressure on them to optimize campaign performance to win more customers.

In such a situation, without a solid ROI, it will be difficult to convince those who control the budgets that you’ll need to implement your digital plans. And often, without the right budget, you won’t be able to explore the full potential of your marketing initiatives or their effectiveness may suffer.

Problem 3: The error of looking at only one part of the process leads to wasteful drainage of resources

The problem is with marketers who focus on only driving more and more traffic to their websites is that they are only concerned with the top of the sales funnel.

But, more traffic doesn’t automatically mean more conversions. The ideal conversion rate (from traffic to customer) is around 0.5-3%. So their ROI is dependent on just this tiny percentage of the converted traffic. This means that they are leaving a lot on the table by not creating multiple touch points for the non-action takers.

When you look at the bigger picture, that’s negative ROI for a company. In other words, the money you’re putting into such marketing efforts is complete waste and your ‘boss’ or your client would be better off without spending it at all.  

“What’s the ROI of a basketball? For me: A negative amount equal to the cost for repairing my torn meniscus. I have literally lost money playing basketball. For Kobe Bryant, on the other hand, the ROI is about $220 Million.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

Also, if you’re paying too much attention to generating new leads and sales, it’s time to think whether you’re ignoring your existing customer base. Are you nurturing the customer relationships that you’ve already formed?

A lot of studies across many different industries have pointed out that acquiring a new customer is anywhere from 5 to 25 times more expensive than retaining an existing one.

Source: Multiple studies & reports

Solution: Change your mindset and approach

Pump your digital marketing vehicles with the right fuel

Modern-era marketing demands strategies which involve more than just generating traffic and leads, and which have a direct correlation with sales and revenues. How to achieve this? The answer is, through a purpose-driven approach — something that we, here at Digitechniks, call “The Marketing Fuel”.

The Marketing Fuel – An arsenal of mindset, strategies, and tools to accomplish a marketing purpose that is in complete alignment with the company’s purpose.  

All marketing channels — SEO, Social media, PPC, email marketing, etc. — are vehicles, but they need the marketing fuel to run at peak performance. If you don’t fill enough fuel or the right type of fuel in your marketing vehicles, they won’t run as smoothly or as fast as you desire.

Many aspiring digital marketers — and even those who are in the industry for years — are often not fully aware of what marketing fuel to use and when. This is mainly because they lack the knowledge of the entire digital marketing spectrum. Some of them stick to just one or two areas of digital marketing, which ultimately restricts their growth and leads to mediocre results for their clients.

For example, someone who has the knowledge of search engine optimization but doesn’t know what type of content impacts the reader and gets the clicks will eventually fail to create an effective campaign.  

Therefore, in order to get your marketing fuel right, you need to gain a thorough understanding of digital marketing and the multiple niches and sub niches it includes. Specializing in one aspect of digital marketing is not enough.

Start thinking in terms of ‘value’

You are probably hearing the term “customer-centricity” a lot these days. Well, it’s not a buzzword. It’s a real change that’s happening across the business landscape.

Gone are the days when marketing was all about making the sale and closing the deal. Today it’s more about creating a relationship with a customer. Only when that relationship has been established, will they buy your product or service. For these reasons, customer care is being touted as the new marketing.

“Customer value creation is at the heart of every successful marketing plan.”

— Andrew Stephen, Professor, Oxford University.  

Therefore, as a marketer, it’s important that you have genuine interest in solving your customer’s problem as part of your marketing approach. Sales is the by-product of the care that you show for your customers.

Action: How to fire back your marketing vehicles with high-octane marketing fuel?

Too much noise on the web and social media leaves you with tonnes of plans and strategies but with very little to implement them. Let’s cut through the noise and get down to a practical action-plan that will bring some immediate changes in your digital marketing approach.

The following eight-step integrated digital marketing plan will allow you to make effective shifts in your approach and generate positive ROI for your campaigns, starting today.

Step 1: Define your Business Aspiration Goal

This first step sounds obvious but sadly it is not so. A lot of marketers, who are too eager to begin their campaign, often miss this point and launch their campaign without much of a practical plan, which is necessary for a productive outcome.

Besides determining who shall be your target customer and which market you plan to penetrate, it is important to set a goal that’s realistic. For example, you may want to gain 5000 new buyers by the end of a month-long campaign. But do you have enough resources and planning to reach this goal?

Starting with an unrealistic goal is setting yourself up for failure.

What to do

Evaluate your resources and decide on a revenue target that’s practically feasible. A good strategy is to work your way backwards from ROI to figure out what you need in order to bring the desired results. Also, take into account the problems you might encounter in achieving your revenue goals.

Don’t solely focus on your revenue goal. Business aspiration goal is divided into:

Revenue Goal

Customer-centric goals (The kind of value to be delivered to the clients in order to achieve the revenue goal)

Team Goal (The kind of team that is required & has the potential to deliver the value to the customers)

Team Learning Goals

How Digitechniks’s IDMCP can help

In our flagship Integrated Digital marketing certification program we have one complete module called Business Aspiration Goal Setting that will help you to set your Business aspiration goal.

Step 2: Build a business model to achieve your revenue goal

Stat:  “A Business Makes Money Only When Their Offerings And Passion Meets The Demand”

Having a business model is important to create a sustainable business plan which can effectively communicate the key features of the business to the partners inside the company. But it’s equally important to make sure your business model is capable of achieving the revenue goals you’re targeting. If not, it’s probably time to think about modifying your business model.

You could do this by exploring new markets and/or creating new product lines. Also, with rising competition, one of the smartest and most effective ways to stand out is to move away from what others in your industry are doing. Steer clear of copy-cat brand models and think of how you can be a differentiator in your industry.  

Can you please suggest an example that we can use here?

What to do

Build a magnetic brand to become a differentiator. A magnetic brand is one which fulfils the aspirations of the target audience and driven by purpose. In other words, your brand should offer unique services that your customers will get only from you and won’t turn to your competitors.

What if the heart of your business is in the right place and yet you’re struggling to grow your customer base? A simple way to get more customers for your products/services is to categorize them into three types:

1) Lead Magnets – Zero cost products/services that people won’t give a second thought before choosing. These are a great way to give your prospects a taste of your product/service. For example: Free sample-size products, a free webinar or a course etc.  

2) Trip Wires – These products/services should be priced in a way that customers don’t have to spend too much money, yet are encouraged to make low-priced purchases that doesn’t seem much of a risk for them. For example: Low-cost versions of your core products/services or core products/services with limited features.

3) Core Product or Premium Solutions – These are your full-featured core products that customers would gladly pay for.

How Digitechniks’s IDMCP can help

In our flagship we have one dedicated module that will teach you how to carry out competitor analysis, market research and help you to build a brand that fulfills the aspiration of your target market.

Step 3: Build a Magnetic Marketing Funnel

Simply having a magnetic business model is not enough. In order to act on such a business model, you need an equally robust marketing funnel. In my experience, 90% of digital marketing plans fail due to the lack of a definite digital marketing funnel to acquire customers.

A marketing funnel defines an entire customer journey, from the initial stages when someone learns about your business to the purchasing stage. A powerful funnel is key to generating leads, converting them into customers, keeping them engaged, and making them your loyal customers.

Building a marketing funnel may seem like a lot of work but the effort is really worth both the time and money, given the fact there are so many companies who are targeting the same customers for their products and services every day.

Essentially, this is the step where you put into practice everything you’ve theorized in the first two steps.

What to do

Build Lead Magnets

Nurture your leads

Engage leads with tripwire (irresistible offer which they cannot reject)

Sell your core product/service

Maximise your profits by upselling/down-selling/cross-selling

Turn your customers into loyal advocates

Read our 6-step Customer Acquisition Formula in-depth.

How Digitechniks’s IDMCP can help

In our flagship Integrated Digital marketing certification program we have one complete module that will help you to build a funnel from scratch. This funnel allows you to generate ROI across any Digital Marketing platform.

Step 4: Understand the Digital Ecosystem

New channels are constantly emerging in the digital landscape. For example, Snapchat and Instagram weren’t as popular a few years ago. But today, for certain types of businesses, these platforms are proving to be more effective than even Facebook or Twitter.

From SEO, SEM, to email and social media marketing initiatives, you’ll not only have to familiarize yourself with the entire digital ecosystem but also be on toes to keep up with the changes taking place.

At the same time, consumers are increasingly demanding a seamless and consistent experience across all these channels. This is also why in order to be successful as a digital marketers, you need to take a more strategic and integrated approach.

What to do

This step involves getting an in-depth understanding of all digital channels and platforms. Also, this is where you need to observe consumer behaviour, how they navigate the web, which platforms they frequently visit and when.

Understanding these behaviours can give you a ton of insights on the buying intent, purchase patterns, which messaging would work, and if the timing is right etc. For example, consumers on Google generally have a high buying intent, while those on Facebook may be simply browsing and don’t have a purchasing mentality right at that moment. By looking at the locations and hashtags of Instagram users you can tell if they are traveling — in that case, they may not be attentive towards a marketing message.  

How Digitechniks’s IDMCP can help

IDMCP makes you well-versed with all the niches and sub-niches of internet marketing and provides practical knowledge about applying these concepts to create cohesive strategies for your clients. Through practical templates and real-life scenarios, we help you understand how every aspect of digital marketing such as SEO, SEM, social media, email marketing, and marketing automation work together as one cohesive force.

Step 5: Identify all the ideal Digital channels for your business

According to a report by MarketingProfs, around 2 million blog posts are written every day and there are more than 350,000 tweets every minute. With such huge information overload, it is important to find the right marketing channels through which you can reach your customer.

What to do

You can figure out your ideal channels through competitor analysis. Create a list of your competitors, pick a high-level competitor who is generating good traffic, identify their traffic sources, and be where they are.  

Wondering if it’s a good idea to be where your competitors are already active? Imagine, how would it be to not enter a popular restaurant to enjoy their food just because it’s crowded? It’s almost similar.

Rather, think about how you can differentiate your existence on these platforms? High-quality content is your answer.

Tools for competitor analysis: SEMrush, Similarweb, Spyfu, Buzzsumo

How Digitechniks’s IDMCP can help

Our IDMCP program offers extensive competitor analysis guidance. We have competitor analysis templates that teaches you how to identify your ideal channels, how to build your presence through these channels, and the ways to set up a repeatable process to replicate your success.

Step 6: Build a process to use each of the digital marketing platforms efficiently

Every Digital Marketing platform has its own set of algorithms(rules). What works on one platform might not work on the other. Consider Google SERP as an example. Text based content performs (ranks) extremely well on Google search, whereas videos don’t. On Youtube however, it’s a completely different story.

Thus, it’s pivotal to understand each platform in detail & then decode it by building a process. This process can be used over & over again.  

How Digitechniks’s IDMCP can help

In our Integrated Digital Marketing Certification Program we follow an accelerated learning technique that will help you build successful processes for any platform.

Step 7: Build templates for to simplify the above process

Building templates for each platform can provide you with a solid framework for analysing your goals and activities across the web, social media, SEO, PPC, email marketing, and the entire digital ecosystem. The four important KPIs included in any template includes organic sessions, organic landing pages report, organic keywords and organic conversions.

How Digitechniks’s IDMCP can help

In our Integrated Digital Marketing Certification Program we give you tried & tested templates that will help in speeding up the process. These templates can be tweaked according to your objectives.

Step 8: Aggregate the data from multiple templates to create a successful digital campaign

The final step involves getting the relevant data & measuring key metrics. Based on the data collected, it’s essential to extract insights. Key decisions have to be taken based on the insights.

In a nutshell, the purpose of collecting & measuring data is to:

Know what’s working & what isn’t

Take key decisions to further improve your digital campaign

How Digitechniks’s IDMCP can help

In our Integrated Digital Marketing Certification Program we teach you how to effectively mine data from the templates & processes (created in the previous steps) in a matter of minutes. You will learn how to identify the metrics that matter for your digital campaigns, and then take decisions to take your campaign to the next level (scaling).

Become a digital marketing powerhouse in your organization with Digitechniks

Digitechniks was born to create employable and industry-ready digital marketing professionals. Our IDMCP training program is designed with this specific aim in mind.

This program gives you an in-depth understanding of digital marketing concepts through helpful tools, innovative learning techniques, and practical templates that will help you to not only capture and retain the information, but also apply it to real-world scenarios.

Our unique three-step teaching methodology:

A word from our trainer and mentor Sharan Kulkarni

Do your digital marketing strategies generate positive ROI? Well, mine certainly didn’t when I started out as a digital marketer. I slogged off hours creating campaigns that fell flat on face even before taking off. I was a failed marketer and a failed business owner, and didn’t really know what was tripping me over, again and again.  

I decided to begin with a blank canvas and started to read books and online resources on marketing. Over the next few months, I realized that there’s so much good information out there but most of it is so mixed up with not-so-good information that it’s hard (and time-consuming) to pick out the good stuff.  

I was actively reading blog posts, listening to podcasts, watching webinars and doing every imaginable thing to learn everything I could. What I also realized during this time is that most of the information available is great as theory but there’s very little guidance on practical applications.  

It took me a little over a year to really get into the trenches of this vast ocean called ‘digital marketing’. And, it was instantly clear to me why so many digital marketers fail — they don’t have that amount of time to spare while learning about digital marketing.  

Watching my career turn around inspired me to commit myself to transforming the life of marketers and business owners. The ‘Integrated Digital Marketing Certification Program’ (IDMCP) is the outcome of what I have learned through all these years.  

In fact, this course is my digital marketing knowledge presented to you in a simple-to-follow and easy-to-implement manner.

Because I believe that if I can do it, you can do it too!

Do you want to learn Advanced Digital Marketing Strategies? Register for our FREE DEMO on Integrated Digital Marketing Certification Program.

REQUEST FOR A FREE DEMO

[mr-villainous]

All except 35 and 65

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Nah

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

like 1

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Trump

4. What is your favorite word?

Villainous

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

I am the Mighty Oak

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

Damn.

7. What shirt are you wearing?

Reverse Flash Shirt!!

8. What do you label yourself as?

a Villain

9. Bright room or dark room?

Dim

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Trying to get a fucking download to work.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

The age before I started to feel old. so like.....10.

12. Who told you they loved you last?

@mrs-villainous

13. Your worst enemy?

The wicked cocktail of my pain and laziness

14. What is your current desktop picture?

It’s a slideshow of a bunch of comics and games

15. Do you like someone?

a bit.

16. The last song you listened to?

I want to know what love is

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

maybe my brother-in-law.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Trump

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

Someone with the authority to set some shit up for me. They would have to set some shit up for me.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

Hair. Everything else is just a fucking nightmare.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?Terrible. I’d play video games XD

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

I can do that thing where you turn your eyelid inside out like kids do at camp. It hurts. 

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

It’s not incredibly unique as I’ve learned lately but I’m afraid of driving/riding in vehicles.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Fucking subway’s oven roasted chicken, italian bread, american cheese, mayo, olives, Parmesan cheese, toasted for half the regular time. Boom. fucking perfection.  

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?I’d buy a gift for a friend of mine, and then I’d probably take Katie to a nice dinner and movie.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?Fucking Japan. Literally the only place I’m interested in traveling to for myself. Like I’ll go places with/for other people, but the only place I’m interested in personally is Japan.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

What fucking angel is this. Did fucking Captain Morgan die and become patron saint of getting you fucking wasted? Kraken Spiced Rum.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

Only people that don’t annoy me can join my happy go fun island of neverwar.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Bitch. I like it a lot.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

Fucking......I’d burn. I don’t give a fuck. 

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Nothing.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Japan. I told you Japan is super neat to me.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

My late Brother-in-law.

34. What was your last dream about?

Pretty sure I was trapped in a supermarket that turned into a school. Then I had no shoes and I ran through the wall into an endless forest that was on top of the sky. I don’t dream often, but when I do, it’s like a fucking Doctor Strange fucked up multiverse collage.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Yeah, a couple times for really bad migraines that caused seizures and once for an allergic reaction

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

Yea

38. What is the color of your socks?

Black

39. What type of music do you like?

Classic Rock, Eminem, showtunes, Daft Punk type shit.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunrises, I think.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Chocolate. 

42. What football team do you support? 

The Dallas Cowboys, Oakland Raiders.

43. Do you have any scars?

Very slight ones from my knee surgery, a couple from fights, one from cutting an apple, and quite a few from being dropped as a baby.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

worth something

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My body.

46. Are you reliable?

Not really. I sleep a lot and I don’t have many resources or abilities. 

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Winning Lotto numbers.

48. Do you hold grudges?

Yeah, for a while. I try to eventually forgive shit, but sometimes it takes me quite a while. 

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

A sloth and a cat. Ideally, it’d be hypoallergenic, keep the appearance of the cat, but the personality and pace of the sloth.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

There’s quite a bit there to draw from. I can’t even figure out where to begin. Pass.

51. Are you a good liar?

I like to think so.

52. How long could you go without talking?

Oh fucking days at the least. I used to be very talkative but every day I seem to get more quiet. Unless we’re counting singing, cos I’m singing anytime I’ve got a chance.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

Egg-in-nest.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

Yar. 

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

Not consistently. Katie says my british is terrible but I say it’s pretty fucking fab. I do a good pirate as well. But like I said, I’ve got no consistency.

56. What do you like on your toast?

blackberry jam.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

Probably stick figures wrestling.

58. What would be you dream car?

One that drives itself and has no windows so I ain’t gotta see the terrifying bits.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

Yeah, all the fucking time. I also play this game in the shower where I cup some water in my hand, then I throw it up, and try to catch it. I see how many times I can catch the water until it has all splashed away.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

I believe aliens are possible.

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

Nah.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

Probably V.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dragons, by fucking far.

64. What do you think about babies?

They’re pathetic. They can’t do shit on their own. Fucking shameful.