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yourboredcuck · 1 year

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The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Zelda Fan

I finished the main story of the game in 40 hours. And it took me a month and a half to get there since the game was released. So I’m going to let you know what I thought about it.

Breath of the Wild 2?

So this game is very similar to Breath of the wild. A lot of the same characters, same overworld (there are sky and underground versions of the map now, but I’ll talk about that later) same armor, same Korok mini puzzle-fuckers. (These fags ↓)

And their fat uncle is back too (except I know what he actually does this time) He gives you additional weapon, shield and bow slots so you can carry more shit.

New Powers of Hell

The best addition to the game is the new power ups. You have Fuse, which lets you combine items onto your shield, weapons and arrows for lots of cool effects. You can combine a rocket to your shield and fly into the sky. You can add a boulder to your spear and smash everything. You can attach an eyeball to your arrow and it will home in on enemies.

Next is Ascend, you can go through any ceiling in the game. So you can actually build a ceiling and phase through it. This mainly helps with traversal so you don’t have to waste as much time climbing.

There is also Rewind which lets you rewind the position of an object. Mainly used for puzzles, but can be used to catch things that have fallen off a cliff. And can also be used to fly into the sky. As parts of the sky islands crumble off and you can reverse them to go back up into the sky.

Ultra hand (of hell) lets you pick things up with telekinesis and build contraptions.

You can build this guy and give him a cock cannon if you wanted.

Heaven and Hell

So they added a sky and underground section to the game, which adds a lot more content to the base map. Unfortunately they aren’t spectacular. The sky has some puzzles and sky islands which can be good to explore between quests. The underground though is just a pitch black grind hell. If you're a basement dweller you'll be very comfortable here. It’s kind of lame. The whole area is a dark cave with monsters that curse you if they hit you. Getting cursed means a section of your health becomes unhealable. OK Dark Souls…

Batteries? In Zelda?

Yeah. Zelda has mechs and shit now. It’s kind of gone from fantasy to fantasy X steam punk. In this game you have a battery meter for when you use your contraptions i.e. automaton with cock-cannon. Unfortunately the default battery is ass and most things fizzle out in a matter of seconds. You can upgrade the battery a lot, but the game is super stingy with the price. The battery can be upgraded a whopping 21 times! With casual play I managed to upgrade it 2 times. So if you want to actually have fun with your inventions you have to go grind resources. Grinding in Zelda? No thanks.

Armour

Don’t even bother man. I won without a single upgrade and so can you! They made this such a pain in the ass. To upgrade your armour in this game you have to unlock Great Fairies who can upgrade your shit. There are 4 of them and they all do different upgrades. To unlock them you have to do a fetch quest and then drive some bozos over to the site so they can wake up the fairies with their music. Kind of like waking up Snorlax in Pokemon Red. When driving these dudes, if you so much as drive over a bump they will have a fit and you have to restart. Yay! Once you do unlock a fairy you can upgrade your armour using a fixed combination of resources. You cannot pay with money like you could in BotW. So go grind some more Link!

Rusty Weapons?

For some story reason that doesn’t really make any sense: all the weapons are rusted so they are weak and break really quickly. Fortunately you can use your Fuse ability to combine shit to make the weapons do more damage and usually increase durability, but it’s kind of lame to have a few of your weapons break in just a single combat. Especially the more powerful rare weapons that still just break in a couple of hits.

This is the LEGENDARY Fierce Deity Sword. I had to do a string of quests to get it along with the matching armour set.

It broke within a minute of use 🙂

Bosses

Bosses were overall decent, but some were a bit tedious and repetitive. One of them has a swarm of minions that keep getting summoned from these hives, which you can destroy. This interaction is always kind of annoying. The kicker is that you can actually get to the boss room early before the fight, but the hives are invulnerable. So you just get to look at em and know they are going to fuck you up later.

There is a robot boxing boss which was more creative as you can customize your bot mid fight to have like a cannon arm or mace arm.

Monkey Puzzles

Yeah you read that right. Some of the puzzles were in part or completely designed by baboons. Overall the puzzles are very inventive and can be solved in a multitude of different ways and often you can just cheat the puzzle completely by building like a rocket and flying over to the goal.

However some monkey brain ideas and designs have crept into the game which completely tarnish these puzzles. The main issue is unintuitive design or not conveying the purpose of objects to the player. I.e. there is a floor that is covered in flames that you use to melt a large ice cube, but what I didn’t know is that there is a switch to open the fucking door under the jet of flames.

Also I’ve played every Zelda game 😎 And there’s a recurring puzzle where you've got to shoot a crystal switch with an arrow to open a door. They did it once in this game except you can’t even tell that you’re supposed to shoot it because it just looks like a shitty pole.

My Little Pony

There are horses again. It depends on your play style, but they were kind of useless to me because there are a lot of cliffs that they cannot traverse so you have to ditch the horse after a few seconds of riding. You can whistle, but it doesn't just summon the horse to you. It only calls them over from a certain distance.

Story and Cutscenes

The story is pretty boring. Probably written and made for people that enjoy Twilight. They even made Zelda and Ganondorf vampires. I don't like the cutscenes. They're mainly just about the made up history of a new new ancient civilization and some scenes of Ganondorf being a dickhead to people. The majority of the cutscenes are found within the overworld and are completely optional and luck based if you will find them. You can also watch them out of order? wtf?

Another example of the developers being a little bit stupid is they show you the same cutscene 4 times. Because you can do the 4 main temples in any order so they were just like “umm what do we do? how do we tell the story given we don't know the order they'll complete the temples?” Impossible solution right? “Let's just make each supporting character tell the same story so it's not confusing.” Morons lol. Thank shit you can skip cutscenes.

There are some random shorter cutscenes which should be skippable. Everytime you unlock a skyview tower which reveals part of the world map, you have to watch the same cutscene of link jerking off in the sky

Friends

During the 4 main temples of the game you have a support character that joins you and they have personalities and say things. WOW! Then after you beat the boss they say “I'll support you on your journey Link!” then they give you this spirit clone version of themselves so they can stay at home because they are too lazy to help you in person. The clone version has no personality, but gameplay wise works the exact same. Overall it’s quite cool to have these companions follow you around for the rest of the game. Would be nicer if they weren’t lifeless husks though. Makes me miss my boyfriends from FFXV.

Some monkey over at Nintendo got loose on the control config for the supports and made them all activate their abilities with the same button: A. So in the midst of combat you pretty much have to go up and spam A and activate all of their abilities. During larger combats and bosses these dudes are fucking infuriating. They will actively run away from you when you need to use their abilities. Causing you to then get hit and die 🙂

Also this cute, almost duck-like fella is one of your new friends:

He has an ability that summons a gust of wind. Which is pretty useful when paragliding around. However this cheeky fuck likes to sometimes stand right next to dropped items and as you go to pick them up with A, he blows them all to Kingdom Fuck.

Finale

The last boss was more enjoyable in hindsight as he’s a bit of a bitch in the fact that it's multiple stages where you can't leave to get healing items or save the game. In this section you get cursed when you get hit meaning you need specific potions or you need to leave the temple to get cured. Except you can't leave so unless you're a god-gamer you pretty much have to abandon your progress and potentially regrind and re-gear up.

And also they did another spectacle final phase of the last boss which is one-dimensional, requires no skills and was pretty much as lame as it was last time.

Conclusion

I gave the game a lot of shit, but I did beat it and when it was fun it was some good shit. But anyone saying this game is a perfect 10/10 is either IGN or just another huge sell out. The game sometimes struggles to run on the Switch and loses frames when too many particle effects are on screen or when building things with the Ultra Hand ability. It would probably be nicer to play on an emulator if you’ve got the cash for a PC.

I beat the main story and won’t be playing any more of the side quests that I didn’t do the first time through. I had a google to see if there was anything worth doing. There’s not really anything interesting. Just fetch quests, collecting shit like armour and weapons and fighting reskinned bosses in the underground.

I kind of miss the old Zelda formula, but after the success of these 2 games, I don’t think we will be seeing it anytime soon. Except for when they do another soulless remaster and sell it for full price 🙂

#legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #nintendo #review

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theloverofdragons · 3 years

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Return to Ravenloss

It’s ironic, the Hero thought to themselves, that while the towns on the surface seemed darker, the one below the ground was bursting with colour.

Where before they had been frozen, Ravenloss had been abandoned aside from the half-spider Chaosweavers, it was now teaming with life from all across Greenguard; humans, elves, minotaurs, even a few Atelans. The lights on the streets and from the now occupied and decorated houses and shops reflected off the underground flora, and the stalls in the market sold all kinds of items, from food to clothing to weapons; a far cry from the last time they had visited.

However, despite Ravenloss’ newfound colour and beauty, there was a sense of fear in the air that became clearer as the Hero approached the Equilibrium Gate and saw the strange purple magic of the Void leaking through, turning the path leading up to it almost incorporeal and corrupting and moving the houses, bushes and rocks around it.

Sa’vaya said that Tomix was in Pellow Village so that would be their first stop, they decided, nodding to Dorian as he warned them to be careful. It had been far too long since they had seen him, not since before they had to go to Willowshire to deal with Gorgok before the whole Earth Orb saga (and oh so much had happened since then; the Ultimate Orb and the Super Mega Ultra Darkness Dracolich, the Wrath of Wargoth and then being frozen by Jaania for five years and emerging into a world that was familiar and yet so different…).

The Hero had missed him, and the two of them had much catching up to do (hopefully his hunt for Lust had gone well); after all, he was the first person outside of Oaklore and Falconreach that they were visiting since they had thawed.

Despite the growing corruption of Ravenloss, Pellow Village looked much the same as they remembered as they emerged from the Equilibrium Gate with the market to their left, the grove to their right and the statue of Pandora in front of them. Speaking of Pandora, they hadn’t had a chance to reunite with her yet – aside from feeling an intense surge of joy when they thawed – as she evidently wanted them to get their bearings first (after all, it wouldn’t do for them to be disorientated from newly thawing and run the risk of making it worse if Pandora materialised), but hopefully they could have their reunion soon.

Very soon, it turned out, as once they had entered the grove where the Glow Tree was, a familiar flash of light emanated from the cube by their side.

The Hero turned with a smile. “Hi Pandora.”

Their SoulAlly returned the smile. “I missed you, Hero. How are you?”

“I missed you too,” the Hero replied softly. “I’m…okay. As okay as I can be, I think. But you know me, Pandora; I keep going no matter what! How are you? Were you okay while I was frozen? I know my dragon had Serenity and others in Falconreach to look after them.”

Pandora gave a tinkling laugh. “I know you do, Hero. I look forward to being able to weave by your side once more. It was hard, but I had Aegis and Tomix visit to keep me company.”

“I’m glad you had them,” the Hero’s smile widened. “And me too; I can’t wait to weave with you again. Maybe Tomix will have some new tricks to teach us.”

“It’s possible,” Pandora agreed before a block of ice materialised and shrunk away, revealing a familiar light blue spirit.

“Pandora? What are you doing in Pellow-oh,” a smile slowly spread over Aegis’ face when he noticed the Hero. “That makes sense. Hello, Hero. It is good to see you again.”

“Hey Aegis,” the Hero waved before cocking their head to one side. “Good to see you too. You look…different from what I remember.”

“Ah yes,” Aegis looked down at his shield. “While you were frozen, on Pandora’s request, I attempted to melt the ice crystal but the magic was too powerful. I am attuned with the element of Ice so the magic was able to change my appearance.”

“I see,” the Hero nodded. “Well thanks for trying, Aegis.”

“You are most welcome,” Aegis grinned. “By the way, Tomix is just to the right of the grove, at the edge of Pellow Village.”

“Thanks, Aegis!” the Hero grinned back. “Hopefully we’ll be able to have a proper catch up later, and with you Pandora back home where we don’t have to worry about something exploding.”

“I look forward to it,” Aegis laughed as Pandora – who had been gazing at the Hero with a look of maternal affection – smiled and vanished back into the cube, before disappearing himself in another flash of ice.

The Hero glanced down at the floor, their cheeks beginning to hurt from smiling so much; after so long frozen, it was good to see some close friends again. And now to see one who they regarded as one of the closest of them all. They rounded the corner to the edge of Pellow Village where a wooden structure that looked like the beginning of a ship was moored, with a familiar white haired figure standing in front of it.

“Tomix!”

The Soulweaver turned and his eyes lit up. “Hero? So it is true, you are alive and well! These past few years have been really tough for all of us. I believe we have a lot catching up to do.”

“We absolutely do,” the Hero grinned, darting over and enveloping Tomix in a hug before he could protest. “How are you? What’s happening with Ravenloss?”

Tomix made a show of dusting himself off once the Hero had released him before returning the grin. “It seems the Equilibrium Gate cannot be closed, and the Void is bleeding through it. Unfortunately, I can't find a way to stop it. The area around the gate is off-limits, for the safety of people living in the city.”

“I see,” the Hero nodded. “What about Riadne and Izaac? Are they still here?”

“They are,” Tomix lifted his hand to point back towards the Equilibrium Gate. “Riadne is currently helping in the Ravenloss Orphanage. She will be joining me, once this ship is ready. When the Chaosweavers were driven out of Ravenloss, she turned her attention to help rebuild it. As for Izaac, he has been studying Pellow Village... for all these years apparently. Do me a favour and don't raise your voice while talking with him. He's gone a little cuckoo. It seems the void has a strong influence on the weak-minded. You should be careful.”

The Hero blinked. “Hey! You were never joking before! What happened?”

Tomix smirked. “You are only young once, but you can be immature forever.”

“I…think I’ve read that somewhere before,” the Hero mused, stroking their chin.

“Quite possibly,” Tomix nodded sagely.

“So I never got the chance to ask after we banished Greed, but what exactly happened to your hands? Are they alright?”

“Ah, yes...” Tomix gave a wry grin. “You see, SpiritLooms are not supposed to break. The ones I had were already damaged because of what was sealed within them. The weaving accident I had as a kid must have damaged them even more. They... they also fused with my arms... I couldn't replace them neither repair them. Once they broke, it felt...it...let's just say it wasn't a pleasant feeling... Eh, cutting to the chase, I lost my hands. My physical, material hands. What you are seeing here, is my soul. I shaped a part of it to look like hands. I can't touch nor grab anything physical. I still can fight though, so don't think I'm useless...”

“You’re definitely not useless, Tomix,” the Hero declared. “It’s always an honour to fight by your side, and you’re an amazing teacher as well! What about your hunt for the corrupted spirits? Did you banish Lust?”

Tomix’s grin faltered and he sighed shakily. “Before banishing Lust, she revealed to me, that Aspar is Envy. I did not believe it at first, why would I? Aspar was my best friend... He vanished a few months after I banished Lust. I thought he'd come back, like he did before when we were hunting Wrath. But he hasn't. I'm still feeling the bond, but it's become corrupted. I'm trying really hard not to believe that Aspar is Envy, but all the evidence is telling... I have really good memories of our journeys, and I hate to think he's been Envy this whole time. Fooling me. Using me... Using me for his own plans...or something. I don't know. But I do know where he is now. He's heading into the Ynnungaap. I'm not really sure why though. To get there, I need a ship, a flying ship. A ship strong enough to reach Ynnungaap. I need all the help I can get, you are welcome to join me Hero, if you wish. You are one of those who I can still consider a friend...”

“Oh…” the Hero covered their mouth with their hand. “Oh Tomix, I’m so sorry. Of course I’ll come with you to stop him. What’s the Ynnungaap?”

“Thank you, Hero,” Tomix replied. “Ynnungaap is a location beyond the void, also known as Deep Void. It is where the void core is located. I'm guessing this might be Asp-I'm sorry, Envy's point of destination. But why? What could he accomplish with the void core? I thought I knew him well...”

“We’ll find out what he’s planning, Tomix,” the Hero vowed. “And we’ll stop him! What about your SoulWeaving though?”

“I had to form a bond with a different elemental spirit, I couldn't weave without Aspar by my side. I visited the plane of elemental spirits and came across a familiar figure; Aegis. We travelled to visit Pandora, and discussed my quest as we did so, and so became SoulAllies.”

“Oh wow!” the Hero jabbed their finger behind them in the direction of the grove. “We just saw Aegis. That explains why he’s in Pellow Village if he’s your SoulAlly! I’m so happy for you two. So where do we start on our mission to stop Envy?”

“Straight back into it, huh Hero?” Tomix laughed. “Well we need people to help us build the ship. I think the first step would be visiting Edelia, the school of Soulweaving. The Headmaster can give us supplies and people for the ship. On our way there, you can show me some Soulweaving so I know you’re not too rusty! And who knows, maybe I’ll have time to teach you some advanced techniques and can call you ‘Master Soulweaver’ soon.”

“Looking forward to it, Tomix! Let’s get going!” the Hero grinned, turning and running back towards the Equilibrium Gate.

Tomix watched them go, shaking his head fondly before following at a more leisurely pace. No matter how much things had changed, they were still raring to go on an adventure. And he had to admit, he was looking forward to showing them Edelia…

The Soulweaver stopped suddenly, his eyes widening with realisation. Hopefully while they were meeting the headmaster, the topic of which elemental spirit the Hero was bonded to wouldn’t come up. Headmaster Zellaraneish and the Hero. Baltael and Pandora.

An impromptu family reunion may not go too well.

****

Disclaimer: DragonFable is owned by Artix Entertainment. Dialogue taken from talking to Tomix in Book Three Falconreach before Ravenloss was open, and then in Pellow Village.

Also on FFN and AO3

#dragonfable #reverse soulallies au #the hero #pandora #aegis #tomix #my writing

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scatteredcloud · 4 years

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Top Surgery: What Really Happens pt3 -Recovery

I’m on day 4 of recovery, and it’s been a lot of trial and error as to what works and what doesn’t. Like I said in part 1 and part 2, there’s no one solution, so try to anticipate what works for you but be ready to adapt if it doesn’t. I was pleasantly surprised to have over prepared because my pain level is quite low, but that seems to be the exception not the rule. A lot of the supplies mentioned here overlaps with what I said in part 1, this guide is about logistics.

Getting Ready - Day Of - Drains

-Plan to be sleeping, a lot. I get pretty down on myself when I sleep in, because it makes me feel like I’m not being productive, but what’s productive in the days after surgery is taking care of yourself.

Don’t expect to be back to normal within a few days. The way my surgeon broke it down was this:

1 week post op you’re back to 50%

2 weeks post op, you’re back to 80%

4 weeks post op, you’re back to full capacity.

This is a generalization of course, but recovery starts slowing down after week 2, which is why it’s so important to rest up during the first few weeks (especially because that’s when you take time off) You also have to get used to sleeping on your back, which I don’t think anyone actually does naturally. Weighted blankets are super nice for this if you have one, since it keeps you from tossing and turning. I have to take sleep meds anyways, but the pain killers they give you also knock you out.

-Speaking of meds... This was probably what I was the least informed on going into surgery.

This is my full list of medications and side effects that I’ve experienced. Asterisks next to what I was prescribed, I’ve linked to the drugs.com site for more information side effects and general info.

*Oxycodone- 5mg: as needed, every 6 hrs (painkiller)

Reminder that these are opiates, and appropriate caution should be taken. These made me particularly sleepy, and constipated. They also mess with your eyes, I have 20/20 vision but for the first time in my life I understood what it was like to be far-sighted.

*Cefadroxil- 500mg: every 12 hrs (antibiotic)

Obviously it’s important to eat in general while recovering, but also, antibiotics are the only mandatory medication and trying to take them on an empty stomach makes you super nauseous.

*Ondansetron- 4 mg: as needed , every 8 hrs (anti-nausea)

This was substituted for Zofran, not entirely sure why but I think it was something about interactions with other drugs.

Generic acetaminophen- 500mg, as needed every 6 hrs (tylenol)

You cannot have Aspirin, or any over the counter NSAID. They thin the blood and promote excessive bleeding. Aspirin, Motrin, Aleve, Ibuprofen, Excedrin, and Advil are all off limits.

Sennosides- 15mg- as needed (laxatives)

In addition to constipation from other side effects, it’s also just harder in general to get it out because of how sore your muscles will be. There’s no shame in it, it happens to the best of us.

Diphenhydramine- 50mg- 1 a day (sleep aid)

-Altered mobility, what’s up with that? There are going to have to be some life style changes you make to enable getting around your space.

This is my set up:

Laptop, water, trash can, meds and extra supplies all within reach

Extra pillows to support my back

Lamp with a on/off button extension cord. I think it was originally for christmas trees but it’s nice to not have to reach up and turn the knob

Power strip with chargers

I’m sleeping on the couch because it’s 1. Closer to the bathroom and 2. My actual bed is a loft which isn’t exactly surgery friendly.

I covered the couch cushion in an extra sheet to make it less scratchy and in case of any leakage (There hasn’t been any though)

The name of the game is accessibility. I’ve been lucky to be able to move around and be up and about, but it’s still better to have everything within arms reach. The only issue I’ve run into with my set up is that sitting up is pretty difficult. Particularly with how wide this couch is, it’s hard to maneuver myself up and out

Also, get used to squatting down to pick things up, instead of leaning over. When you squat, you aren’t engaging your torso at all to reach something, which is ideal here.

Try and stick to chairs that have some sort of back support. I’m used to sitting on stools in my work area and that’s just not sustainable after surgery.

-Hygeine Full stop, you’re going to have to be gross for awhile. This (I suspect) is also why they ask you to go off hormones for awhile before surgery, because I’m definitely a lot less sweaty and gross than I would be otherwise.

You can’t shower until you get your drains out, and the ok from your doctor. This is to reduce the risk of infection and to keep soap out of your sutures. Shower gel is pretty much a no until everything is healed, unless it’s like ultra-sensitive, and unscented.(Double check with your doctor though) My boyfriend came over two days ago to sponge me down and wash my hair. Bar soap works well, because it’s easier to control where the soap goes, and it’s more sustainable.

Do not try and bathe alone. Period. It’s not worth the trouble or pain, and you run the risk of getting things in your sutures

Washing your hair is going to be a bit of a debacle. If you have longer hair, brushing it regularly will help distribute the natural oils and help prevent them from building up. I personally don’t like dry shampoo, but others swear by it, so worth a shot. I’ve also talked to people who treated themselves to a salon visit, to get their hair professionally washed which also sounds lovely. My boyfriend and I managed with me leaning over the edge of the tub and him pouring water over my head. The important thing is to keep soap from running down to your chest.

For me, washing my face is really important to feeling clean. My skin is naturally oily, and I had to adapt my routine a bit, because my normal method is splashing a lot of water on my face. I’ve been learning to take the more civilized route and using a damp cloth to wash off the cleanser, like probably everyone else was already doing :P

I’ve seen a lot of people recommending wet wipes, to at least pull some of the gross off, and if that works for you go for it. I’ve only used them when I take off my compression vest to get some of the oil off of my chest gently.

-Your new chest Other surgeons wrap their patients up differently, but the only rule for me was not to wash the area, and that I had to have the vest on while I slept. Fingers crossed tumblr doesn’t nerf this one but this is what my situation looks like.

(CW: Stitches If you’re sqeamish, you might want to skip this, I certainly would)

The yellow sponge things are sewn on top of my nipple grafts to keep them in place, and then there are strips of medical tape holding the sutures together. Because they’re sewn to my body, I don’t have to worry about them shifting around, but nudging them even a little bit really hurts. The area on my chest went from super sensitive, to itchy and tender, to itchy and numb, to numb and tender. All of your nerves are either completely fried or severed, so even the most delicate sensations can feel really uncomfortable. My chest wasn’t ever particularly sensitive before surgery, so it’s weird being sensitive (but also not?) now.

When the compression vest is closed, I just have a couple layers of gauze pads on top of the stitches to keep them protected. I don’t really have any bandages, although I’m pretty sure that’s not the standard. The compression helps everything fuse back together correctly and squeezes out the fluids into the drains. (I’m making a post on that soon, I’m waiting to get my drains out first.)

I’ve left my vest unbuckled the past couple days to get some room to breathe, but I kept it closed the first 3 days and that seems to really help with minimizing the drainage. (The less drainage the better)

EDIT: I took my first shower in a week here’s my advice for that

Showers- As relieving as it is, you do still need to take some precautions. My shower is a stall with a fixed shower head, if you have a removable one then you’re in good shape- just get someone to get it down for you first. (No reaching over your head!)

- If your nipple grafts are still healing (which they probably will be if you got them), I highly recommend “transparent dressing covers”. Mine came in the box of extra gauze I got from CVS, but an overlarge water proof bandaid will probably do as well. They’re essentially just cling wrap (saran wrap w/e) for injuries. Theoretically you couple put them over the whole cuts? Imo that’s more trouble than it’s worth, you really can’t feel anything- but do what makes you comfortable.

-As always, different instructions for different procedures etc etc- the goal is to keep soap away from the incisions. Water is ok, but I was trying to avoid that as much as I could too. The good news is that all of the nerves are severed, so the discomfort isn’t as bad as getting a normal cut wet in the shower

- This took some experimenting, but the optimal position for me was back to the wall the dials are on. That way you can lean over (from the waist not the chest!) to get your hair in the water, without risking it dripping onto you. That being said, I have pretty thick, med length hair, so adjust as needed.

- I’ve been trying to switch to bar soap anyways, because it’s more sustainable, but personally it worked well for me. (Definitely make sure you can get a good grip on it though, pain killers can make you clumsy and it’s a bitch to crouch down to get it if it drops) My instructions were specifically to keep shower gel away from the incisions, so I just used bar soap.

- I didn’t do this, but retrospectively, keeping a clean sponge or a wet cloth on hand to get your arm pits would be pretty choice. Since you can’t lift your arms and in trying to keep soap away from your chest, it’s hard to get your under arms damp enough to get soap on, and then harder to rinse out.

- Getting out of the shower, make sure you have towels in easy reach. I’m pretty vigorous trying to dry off, because I hate the feeling of being wet, so I had to consciously slow myself down. Drying your hair goes more or less the same way as washing it, bending from the waist. There’s probably another method (getting someone else to help you ideally lmao) but because your can only really move your fore arms, this is the only thing I’ve been able to find that brings everything within reach.

- If you have a hair dryer, it works wonders for drying off hard-to-reach places. I was having a hard time getting my back fully dry, but pop that baby on and your warm and dry in seconds.

Please let me know if you have any specific questions, my dms/ask box are always open, and I’m sure I’ve forgotten things.

#trans #transgender #top surgery #post op #top surgery guide #trans health #post op recovery #double incision

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zchaotic · 5 years

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Things that Grind My Gears USUM and common complaints

1. People that said USUM butchered SM’s Story.

I loved SM’s story, I found Lillie’s growth to be amazing and I loved it when Lillie stood up to her mother. The story focused on her was great until the ending where Lillie went back to her mother to help her recover, it undoes most of her growth, we are given no indication that Lusamine has learned anything and the worse part, it ends the story with no closure.

Gladion also got stuck in a position pretty horrible, having to run the place he was abused in. It was a sloppy conclusion that dampened a great story.

Ultra Sun and Moon’s changes to the story are as followed; the Ultra Recon Squad being added in, focus on Necrozma as a villain, Lusamine’s motives being changed and how they affected her kids, Lillie’s focus and the post game.

While the Ultra Recon Squad didn’t do much besides foreshadow Necrozma and the pokemon could do a bit more for build up, Necrozma gave what is to me a better climax boss compared to Mother Beast.... in that we get to fight the fused alien monster.

Further more, USUM attempted to change Lusamine for a bit more than just fitting the Necrozma story, it tried to humanize her on screen. Something that SM DID NOT DO! For many, Lusamine in SM was an irredeemable, child abusing bitch and we didn’t get the info as to why she was doing things in the first place until the post game. Wrong place and wrong time for that backstory.

In USUM, they actually mentioned Mohn and add weight to Lusamine’s backstory. Him disappearing caused her downward spiral into the villain she became, who didn’t want to let things go. That is why she froze her pokemon and that is why she became such a control freak to her kids. This also adds to Lusamine’s “Mother knows best” mindset, where she believed she was right and everyone else should shut up and let her deal with things. Which is part of the reason she used Nebby for her goals this time, to feed that ego/ messiah complex and prove to everyone that she was right.

This dangerous thinking helped motivated Gladion when he took Type:Null and ran, he saw potential in the pokemon that Lusamine sure as hell didn’t. Gladion wanted to be free from that control and knew Type:Null was treated like dirt, so he wanted to give that pokemon a better life and prove its potential as a pokemon.

Lillie is a similar deal, she took Nebby and ran because she didn’t like how it was being treated. She did the only thing she could have done to stop this mistreatment and rescued the Cosmog. That is what lead to her escaping.

She still got inspired by you the player to become a trainer, change from the outfit her mother forced on her into her Z powered form, have a talk with her mother and have that goodbye with Nebby, in a more meaningful place and for reasons that make a bit more sense than. “I’m not a trainer.”

While Exeggutor Island was cut out and it was a bummer since that was less moments with Lillie. The majority of the things she said outside of what Lusamine use to be was moved over to Rainbow Rocket’s ending OR we got to see it. While Lillie’s talk with Lusamine was off screen, the girl told us what was going to happen so we can have an idea what was being talked about while we fight Necrozma.

We got to see Lusamine take that turn around for the better. It was no different from SM where Lusamine had a recovery off screen and Lillie decided to help her recover. (The later is worse for a LOT of reasons.)

While I admit that Lillie’s lack of focus made her part of USUM’s main story weaker, it gave a better conclusion to her family and other characters in comparison due to the following.

Lillie got to become a trainer on screen and continue to live with Kukui and Burnet, far away from Lusamine. Lillie still had around the same growth, though it isn’t the focus.

Gladion got to get away from Aether and live out life on his own with Silvally. He occasionally visits and there are signs that he isn’t in completely bad ties with his family.

Lusamine, though it is in dialogue, got an onscreen turn around. Thawed out her frozen pokemon after Rainbow Rocket/ was starting to do that, let her kids go and had closure with Mohn. A more believable redemption and closure compared to her SM ending where we see nothing but her as a villain.

Guzma had a bigger redemption arc as of RR.

The Captains have a last hurrah at Mina’s trial.

Hau had a more complete story arc where he takes things more seriously. I can close this story book and know how it ends for our characters.

Where exactly was things ruined outside of the lack of focus on Lillie? To me.... nothing.

2. USUM’s “Plot Holes” compared to SM.

In relation to the story, things play out the same way and the changes to Lusamine raised a lot of questions.

a. Why does Lillie still have the same look as in SM when Lusamine doesn’t have an obsession with Nihilego in USUM?

b. Why did Nihilego show up in USUM when Lusamine’s plans have nothing to do with it?

c. Why didn’t Lusamine use the legendary the Ultra Recon Squad have to go after Necrozma or why did the Recon Squad let Lusamine do what she did with Nebby.

d. Gladion’s reason for stealing Type:Null doesn’t make sense in USUM since it is just to get stronger and protect his family?

e. Why did they retcon Lusamine into “she didn’t do nothing wrong”/ Why is the game trying to depict Lusamine as a good person when she still abused her kids, has the frozen pokemon and tried to kill Nebby?

My answers are not popular... but here they go.

a. I did use to believe that Lusamine dressed Lillie up to resemble Nihilego, but then USUM changed that woman’s motives to where it had nothing to do with wanting that beast. But instead of raging about that “plot hole”, I believe that the resemblance is ultimately just a coincidence and nothing more in both sets of games. No one in the two sets of games has pointed out the resemblance. Just that Lusamine demanded Lillie and Gladion do what she says/ treated them like ornaments.

Lusamine was still such a control freak to her kids that she didn’t even let them pick their own look. They look what SHE wanted them to look/ do what she wanted them to do because “Mother Knows Best.” It’s pretty messed up, emotional abuse, it is why Lillie has little self confidence because she was treated as a child that should shut up and listen to the adult. It is how Gladion has all that frustration and need to do things his way.

Lillie changing her look and taking life into her own hands still has the same weight and impact in both sets of games. Lillie is stepping out of that smothering shadow and became her own person.

b. Nihilego showed up at Aether Paradise because the Aether Foundation was messing with Ultra wormholes. That is a given in both games, the reasons for the wormhole opening were different, BUT that is why the wormhole opened up. The Wormhole was just Nihilego’s, in SM that part was intended while in USUM it wasn’t.

c. Now for the legendary the URS have, that pokemon was their only ride in and out of home at Ultra Megaopolis, if they let their Solgaleo/ Lunala near Necrozma... that prism would eat them and they be screwed over. They let Lusamine do what she did with Nebby because it was a more acceptable lose/ result in a safer way to fight Necrozma in a more controllable way. The URS resulted to using theirs as a last resort when Nebby (You and Lillie’s only way into Ultra Space.) got eaten by Necrozma.

d. In USUM, Lusamine never had that obsession with the Ultra Beasts that escalated as it did in SM. Gladion took Type:Null and ran because 1. He had it with Lusamine’s abuse, didn’t like how she was treating Type:Null, stole it and ran to prove to that woman that she was wrong. With plans to come back once Null’s Power was realized. This can also split open in SM, where Gladion took Null and wanted to stop Lusamine, that woman was GONE and that boy’s only objective is to protect the family he had left and face his problems head on. So his change wasn’t that drastic and it opens him up more as a boy that has to manage quite a lot on his hands by himself.

e. As for the “Retcon!” There had to be a reason why Lusamine was nowhere near as extreme as she was in at SM. There was a reason why Lusamine’s goal had nothing to do with Nihilego in USUM. The post game of SM had this to say in the matter along with Guzma’s description of what Nihilego does to you.

From Wicke’s Note on Nihilego. “There have been sightings reported of this beast in Alola's past. Its most distinctive feature is its parasitic capability. When Nihilego latches on to a host, it does not manipulate its actions directly. Rather it awakens the host's own capabilities and boosts them to an extreme extent in order to protect itself. It injects the host with a sort of neurotoxin to achieve this effect. This neurotoxin of Nihilego's is incredibly stimulating and inspires feelings of extreme excitement and a lack of inhibition in its host. In other words, anything or anyone that a Nihilego latches on to will have its native skills forcibly activated to their fullest extent and will then act as it naturally desires to.”

This was the games attempt at trying to tell us that prior to SM’s events, Lusamine either got affected by the venom in some way or form... probably from the Wormhole experiments in opening the wormhole and trying to find Mohn or she kept focusing on the beasts and kept digging down the rabbit hole. Which was how she focused only on Nihilego and nothing else. It doesn’t excuse any of the crap she pulled, but it is the only real explanation we have and to be honest, she chose to dig that deep.

In USUM, Lusamine never got affected by that venom/ had something else to focus on and thus her motives for messing with the wormholes are different, she shows a care for her kids, the pokemon she has, etc.

Even without Nihilego, everything... from the abuse of her kids, the frozen pokemon, taking advantage of others and even allowing Null to happen were ALL from her and that is the reason we want to see this woman get knocked off her high horse. The things we should be mad at her for, because they all stemmed from her and it is why she is a villain in USUM.

For a bigger compare and contrast. http://ultraericthered.tumblr.com/post/167852568320/sm-lusamine-vs-usum-lusamine-part-1-while-her

http://ultraericthered.tumblr.com/post/167853295755/sm-lusamine-vs-usum-lusamine-part-2-in-sm

http://ultraericthered.tumblr.com/post/167853828520/sm-lusamine-vs-usum-lusamine-part-3-in-sm

USUM just made the changes so we can have that desire to see her get kicked and feel bad for how it got to the mess it did in the first place, while giving us the hope that she can be salvaged and have a turn around/ repair her relationship with her kids.

She became a problem for most of the game because she was going to go Leeroy on everyone and as everyone feared, it would have made things worse.

It is called, humanizing your villain on screen. Lusamine is less scary as a villain in this game, but she came off as a character with some actual depth to the things she has done as well as the villain Game Freak intended to make. One that can turn around for the better and have a hope of reconnecting with her kids in the end.

Nothing was really retconned, but things were cleared up in a way to show us what she would have been like without going down the rabbit hole she did in SM.

3. Lusamine’s abuse of her kids got swept under the rug, her turn around came out of nowhere and she got off Scott free in USUM.

a. It didn’t, Lusamine admitted to her kids that they were right to take the pokemon and run. She started making amends to the Cosmog she hurt right when you came back and Lillie only came back to Aether to see Nebby recover, after that they parted ways. Lusamine also had an identity crisis in between the post game and RR, where she realize just how much of a fuck up she was and after RR she decided on how to fix herself.

Getting her ass kicked was already done by Necrozma and more of it was not needed now that she learned her lesson and started making amends. This woman letting her kids go was another hint that she knew what she did was wrong, she got that and she hopes the best for them. (Seen with the goodbye between her and Gladion.)

b. Lusamine’s whole Leeroy Jenkins thing backfired, Necrozma is causing problems on Alola... problems she tried to prevent and funny enough, problems she caused in SM. The Ultra Recon Squad were chewing her out for her crap and Lillie had her turn with her while you were fighting Necrozma. It may have been off screen, but it is common sense to think THAT is when people were able to get it through her head in just how reckless she has been and get her to self reflect on the things she has done.

c. Despite Lusamine getting sick in SM at the end... she and the whole of Aether got off scott free for their shit in there as well. It’s pokemon, it is very likely Lillie and Bill would fix her up and she would recover. (Sacred Ashes exist for a reason people... its that strong of medicine.)

Another thing in Pokemon. Archie, Maxie, Colress and grunts from various villain teams have gotten off scott free for their shit and in USUM, Lusamine not having legal repercussions isn’t that different from them. So this didn’t bother me so much and if anything, Aether being raided by Team RR works as karma since now they are being taken advantage off... by force.

4. USUM should have been a sequel instead of ruining SM’s story/ should have been DLC.

a. I don’t understand why they didn’t make a sequel, BW2 was known for this... but there were a couple plot holes that came from BW2. One, what happened to the previous protagonist and all the characters that got involved with that one just mention them? It made things a bit shallower since the new protagonist is a substitute for them.

In addition, BW2′s story... compared to BW... wasn’t that great. It was a basic, bad guys are using a legendary for their goals, cause trouble in random locations etc that we see in every other game and unlike BW it wasn’t the whole plot. While a Sequel to SM might give closure... it would have caused as many problems as what BW2 did.

So I kind of appreciate that USUM was a rewrite of the story, it helped polish things out and give a better sense of closure. While SM had a more emotional story, I would take USUM as a whole over it due to that one giving closure while still having some of those emotions.

Also, DLC wouldn’t have covered a whole new challenge with the trials, trainers, new pokemon ETC... this was done in Crystal, Emerald and Platinum. So why is USUM doing any problems when some games with DLC abuse the hell out of it and milk us for money?

I apologize for the long rant, but I wanted to get this out of my system.

SM are good games, but USUM came around, did things a lot better in most areas and became the definitive edition of this generation. I really wish more people see it as the improved version of SM instead of a hindrance to Gen 7, it and the story doesn’t deserve the hate it gets.

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xtruss · 3 years

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David Petraeus on American Mistakes in Afghanistan

The former general defends Afghan troops and blames the speed of the withdrawal for the government’s collapse.

— By Isaac Chotiner | August 20, 2021 | The New Yorker

I just think it was premature to leave,” David Petraeus said, of the U.S. withdrawal from Afghanistan. Photograph from EPA-EFE / Shutterstock

David Petraeus, the retired four-star Army general, served in the military for nearly four decades, eventually becoming the most famous and revered member of the armed forces during the war on terror and the war in Iraq. Known for developing a new theory of counter-insurgency, which emphasized winning the support of civilians rather than seizing territory, Petraeus was placed in charge of all troops in Iraq by President George W. Bush in 2007 and oversaw the so-called surge of forces meant to turn around a faltering war effort. In 2010, President Barack Obama, who had ordered a surge of troops in Afghanistan—a move opposed by then Vice-President Joe Biden—appointed General Petraeus the commander of forces in that country. Petraeus retired from the military the following year, and went on to serve as Obama’s C.I.A. director. He resigned from that post in 2012, after providing classified information to his biographer, Paula Broadwell, with whom he was having an affair. Petraeus later pleaded guilty to one count of mishandling classified information. He is now a partner in the global investment firm K.K.R. and chairman of the K.K.R. Global Institute.

On Wednesday, Petraeus and I talked by phone about the situation in Afghanistan. We spoke for nearly eighty minutes; Petraeus was passionate about how he felt the Biden Administration had erred in the withdrawal, and why he thought it was wrong to blame Afghan forces for the collapse of the government. He believes the U.S. should have remained in Afghanistan, and gave a full-throated defense of an active military presence abroad. Our conversation, edited for length and clarity, is below.

How do you think the situation in Afghanistan ended up where it is today?

It started with the Trump Administration, and not getting much of an agreement [with the Taliban], to put it mildly. We forced the Afghan government, which was not allowed to be in the negotiations about the future of their country, to release more than five thousand Taliban fighters, and didn’t get anything significant in return. And of course the new Administration came in and did a quick review and analysis and announced the decision to withdraw, which you may recall that at the time I said I feared we would come to regret. And I think we already have. That was a psychological blow, I think, the significance of which may not have been obvious to all.

Then you actually had the withdrawal. And this was not of forces in frontline combat. What we had were advise-and-assist units, who were located in the headquarters of the Afghan forces, and they include essentially liaison teams and tactical air controllers who can—with the aid of drones over the top of battlefields—confirm the targeting necessary for true close air support. We are not talking about bombing the mountain over there. We are talking about bombing as close to troops in combat as was possible. And that was quite an elaborate structure, and it was enormously important to the Afghans, who still had a very modest-sized air force. But if you don’t have the liaison teams with the Afghan headquarters who are sitting next to an Afghan commander who is getting radio reports from his people and often looking at the same feed of what a Reaper drone is seeing underneath it, it is really hard to bring serious airpower to bear.

So you have the withdrawal of U.S. forces, which includes not just the airpower but the systems and people who enable its use in close air support. And, somewhat overlooked, although some of us did identify this months ago, the departure of some eighteen thousand contractors who maintain the U.S.-provided Afghan air force and also manage the maintenance system. It is a huge system that involves supply chains and regular inspections—a lot of very sophisticated diagnostic equipment, tools, and this enormous logistic support structure to provide these spare parts in a very austere environment. And of course they are also being shot up by the Taliban.

That air force worked very, very hard. And they are trying to ferry commandos who are really quite good fighters, very well trained by our Special Ops, and well equipped. And they did go out in these early battles, and they were holding off the Taliban, but I think at a certain point in time they realized that there was nobody coming to the rescue anymore, nobody has our back, there is no emergency resupply, there are no reinforcements, there is no emergency medical evacuation, and there is no close air support. And I think that happened in a couple of cases, and those troops did what I think troops do in those circumstances, if they are left alone and isolated and no one is coming to the rescue. Along with local leaders of those districts or provinces, they either cut a deal or they negotiate a surrender or they flee. And then I think the psychological collapse of the Afghan military set in. And I think that was infectious. You talk about infectious enthusiasm. This was an epidemic of, basically, surrender.

Was there an error somewhere along the way, given that when we pulled out this collapse just happened? How did we not prepare for that in twenty years?

I just think it was premature to leave. Now, you can say, Well, when do you leave? Ideally you say that there are certain conditions. Let’s keep in mind that everyone is criticizing nation-building. Well, part of nation-building is developing security forces. It is developing institutions that can take over tasks that we were provided. Undoubtedly, there were innumerable mistakes made in the name of nation-building and infrastructure overbuilt. You can name the different shortcomings. But, again, you have to build something you can hand off. Keep in mind that, once we topple the Taliban, we own the country. It’s easy to say, “You got Osama Bin Laden. What are you hanging around for?” Well, because Al Qaeda will be back. If there is one thing we should have learned in the last twenty years of war, it’s that if you don’t keep an eye on an Islamist extremist group, it will come back.

You think that’s the main lesson?

Well, there are a lot of lessons. There are actually five lessons from the last twenty years of war, if you want to hear them.

Yes, please.

The first is that Islamist extremists will exploit ungoverned spaces, or spaces governed by kindred spirits in the Muslim world. It is not a question of if, it is a question of when and how it will be.

Sorry, General, there is some wind.

I was walking. The sign I am really serious about this, and giving someone my best attention, is that you walk the dog instead of doing it in front of a screen. Lesson No. 2 is that you actually have to do something about this problem itself. You can’t study it until it goes away. We did that for a time with respect to the Islamic State in Syria, and it wasn’t until they had generated enormous combat power, swept back into Iraq, established the caliphate in northern Iraq and northeastern Syria, carried out activities on social media to galvanize and instigate terrorist attacks. You have to do something, because what happens there doesn’t stay there. It’s not Las Vegas rules. It’s the opposite. And these situations tend to have violence, extremism, instability, and, most significantly in the case of Syria, a tsunami of refugees in our nato allies, causing the biggest domestic political challenges since the end of the Cold War.

No. 3, in doing something, the U.S. generally has to lead, and that is because we have such an enormous preponderance of military capabilities—in particular when it comes to the assets that are the most useful in the way we have been able to fight in recent years, which is by advising, assisting, and enabling host nations’ forces with the armada of drones we now have, and an unequal ability to fuse intelligence. Now, that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t have a coalition. We should. And let’s remember we did in Afghanistan. And you should have Muslim partners with you, as we did. By the way, the validation of No. 3, that the U.S. had to lead, is that, when the United States departed Afghanistan, the coalition countries all departed as well, even though many if not most wanted to stay. We know the U.K. wanted to stay. You saw people in the U.K. Parliament say, “We can’t do anything independently?” The answer unfortunately is probably not.

You are giving rules and saying why they are important, but, when someone asks why the things you say were necessary didn’t happen in Afghanistan in twenty years, how do you understand the answer?

It’s really complicated and complex! And you don’t take a seventh-century, ultra-fundamentalist, theocratic Islamist regime, now it would be an emirate, and turn it into a modern military power. You can say the Taliban did that, but they had bases in Pakistan, and that is something you cannot forget. That’s why, when I was nominated to be the commander in Afghanistan and, subsequent to that, I said we would not be able to accomplish in Afghanistan what we did in the surge in Iraq, which was seemingly miraculous to some people, but we believed we could do it. We knew we could do it. And we got that. I laid this out to [Defense] Secretary [Donald] Rumsfeld in September, 2005, when, on my way home from Iraq, he asked me to come to Afghanistan. And the first slide in the briefing was “Afghanistan does not equal Iraq.” And it laid out all the differences, all of which made Afghanistan the most challenging context in which to fight an insurgency. No. 1, the insurgent headquarters are outside the country, and the Pakistanis refused to deal with them. Beyond that, the country has very limited roads and other infrastructure. So, every time we increased bases, they had no money. By the way, the Taliban is about to experience this.

In any event, we were up to No. 3, which is that the United States, in taking action against Islamist extremists, has to lead. The fourth lesson is that, if you want to really deal with the problem, you can’t counter terrorists like Al Qaeda or the Islamic State with just counterterrorist forces. You have to have something that is more comprehensive. You need all those elements, but we don’t want to do that.

“We” the American people?

The American military and State Department. The American government wants the Iraqis to do the fighting on the front lines. We want the Somalis and Somali surrogate forces to. So we are up to No. 4. But the key there is that you have to have a comprehensive approach, but we don’t want to be doing the frontline fighting, we don’t want to have to do the political reconciliation we brokered in Iraq, we don’t want to have to do the restoration of basic services, reëstablishment of local institutions, repair of infrastructure, et cetera. We want local forces and local governments to do that.

No. 5 is, the reason that we need those host-nation forces to do that fighting on the front lines is that we have to have a sustainable approach. And sustainability is measured in terms of the expenditure of our blood and treasure. And, if you can get that down sufficiently, you don’t see people demonstrating in the streets in the way we saw in the final five or more years of the Vietnam War. And that means determining how to help host-nation forces without having to put our troops on the front lines, except in extremis. But we can maintain a very considerable number of unblinking eyes around the world with Reapers [armed drones]. In any event, every unit has a drone nowadays, and they are all helpful, but the Reaper is the coin of the realm. You can never have enough of those.

You are putting forward the need for a sustained effort at every level—military, political, financial—

But very sustainable. We have drawn down in Afghanistan from a hundred and fifty thousand coalition forces that I was privileged to command at the height of the war to below twelve thousand. But let’s not forget who has been doing the vast majority of the fighting and dying on the battlefield in Afghanistan, which is why I found the comments about the Afghan forces not fighting disappointing. Anybody who served in Afghanistan knows a number of Afghans who died on the battlefield, which is something like twenty-seven times the number of U.S. losses. So to say that the Afghans won’t fight for their country needs an asterisk. And it should say the Afghans will fight for their country if they are confident someone has their back and will provide reinforcements of ammunition, food, medical supplies, will provide emergency medical evaluation, and, most important, will provide close air support to get them out of a tough fight. Keep in mind, again, that the Taliban could mass anywhere on what were some isolated outposts.

And I did voice concerns months ago. And I was told the operational tempo of the Afghan air force, and it was totally unsustainable. I am not sure we could have sustained the tempo at which they were flying. And they were getting shot up. There were a lot of heroic Afghan pilots and air crews. We were a really critical component of the Afghan Security Forces that just could not be replicated. And Afghanistan had so many disadvantages, no history of strong central government.

Do you think that political or military leaders are to blame for people feeling like this had gone on too long? The Afghanistan Papers showed that there were false promises of how things were going, and claims that the training of Afghan forces was going better than it was. Was that a problem, and is it part of the issue with getting Americans to accept such a long war?

All I can say is that I stand absolutely by everything that I stated publicly, and what I stated privately—by the way, most of which has been published in Hillary Clinton, Leon Panetta’s, and Barack Obama’s memoirs. I can’t go back and say whether General So-and-So was overly rosy here or whether President Obama, by changing the name of the operation, was, I don’t know, making more of something than was substantively well-founded.

Look, again, clearly there were tons of mistakes made along the way. Let’s focus on the most important one, which I happen to have said publicly, which was that we didn’t even get the inputs right in Afghanistan until late 2010. That’s not because I happened to be the commander. It was because of, first, the Bush Administration toward the end, and then the Obama Administration with the first additional tranche of troops from the policy review, and it took a good year or so to deploy those troops. We didn’t have the organizational architecture right. You have to get the right people, the preparation of the people and the units, the right equipment, certain communications gear, blimps with optics, towers with optics.

But of course we only had the inputs right for about seven months, because Obama announced the withdrawal date to begin the redeployment of those forces during the speech in which he announced the buildup. If [the former special representative Richard] Holbrooke is trying to negotiate from a position of strength, telling the enemy you are going to start withdrawing in July of 2011 probably is not providing him that position of strength. Obviously there are impatient leaders and rotations and all the rest of that, but this is really hard government work.

Now, there were enormous accomplishments. It is painful to say we didn’t accomplish anything. There are twenty years’ worth of Afghan girls and women who got to go to school. My wife and I funded a scholarship at the American University of Afghanistan, which, by the way, was attacked by the Taliban, with dozens of people killed. I remember talking to one of those women wounded, and she said, “General, I will die to get an education.” There are all these inspirational stories like that. So, again, they have twenty years of freedom of speech, freedom of the press, particularly in the big cities. It’s different out in the rural areas, to be sure. However imperfect the Afghan government was, however corrupt, whatever shortcomings we had, they will look back on it as a golden age. The economy in Kabul was bustling. We see them paint over the wedding-gown shops and the hair salons. I don’t equate that necessarily with, well, it is progress. They were allowed to do that, is the point. There were freedoms that will not now exist.

Now, we didn’t go there to give them those freedoms. It is where the 9/11 attacks were planned. To keep Al Qaeda from making it a sanctuary, and to gradually draw down, you had to develop security forces to whom you could transition tasks while keeping the capabilities that kept them in the fight in the tough times. You have to hand off to something. And keep in mind that, in the early years, we were the something. In northern Iraq, I was the sheikh of the strongest tribe in Iraq as a two-star general. And, under the Geneva Conventions, I was the executive, legislative, and judicial all in one, by international law. So how do you get yourself out of that? You do what we did in Iraq. We ran an election. Or, rather, a selection or caucus in Mosul. And all of a sudden we had Iraqis to help carry the rucksack of all these responsibilities.

So it’s easy to disparage, and, again, did we go overboard? I’m sure. But part of it was, you are constantly under the gun. I went to Iraq knowing that within a year I would have to begin drawing down. So you’ve gotta produce results. And that leads you to say, “O.K., let’s give it a shot. Let’s try this.” And perhaps with a longer time horizon, and I am not saying less resources necessarily, although what we have or had was sort of what Biden advocated [in 2009].

So more resources and more time?

Yeah. And time is actually the most important resource. In Afghanistan there was all this impatience that it was our longest war and all the rest of that, overlooking the fact that we have been in Korea, which still is technically—obviously people aren’t being shot and killed—but we have way more than thirty thousand troops there and in Japan.

If you knew that this would end after twenty years, do you think policymakers should have acted differently?

We needed to do what we did, by and large. Did we do more in many cases? Perhaps. Certainly the Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction.

We did too much, you are saying?

Overbuilt. This kind of stuff. Threw resources at problems. You have them now and you are not going to have them a year from now, if you see what I mean. There were even cases where we went too far with our troops. It took us too long to realize that we went too far with some of our troops. Some of these valleys, the people there didn’t like the Taliban, but they hated everybody. They didn’t want us in there or others in there. You had to learn how far you can go.

What would you do differently if you knew you had to come out in 2021? Boy, it is really hard to say. You would like to build an Afghan air force that is more substantial. But nothing is easy. You teach somebody how to teach English and be an air-traffic controller and you know what they do? Instead of working for the Afghan government, they go work as a translator for the United Nations because they get paid more. It is one challenge after another, and you have to work your way through it. You have to have enormous fortitude and determination. Somebody asked me if we lost the Afghan war. I said I don’t think we lost it. I think we withdrew from it. And I think there is a pretty big distinction there.

In “A Fish Called Wanda,” Kevin Kline says about Vietnam that “We didn’t lose. It was a tie.”

[Laughs.] This wasn’t a tie. Not when they take over within weeks of your departure.

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majewskiplumbingheating · 3 years

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The Benefits of Smart Water Devices

There is no denying that we are surrounded by technology. New gadgets and ways to make our lives easier—and smarter—are released daily. Not so long ago, our phones were only available attached to a wall, now they fit in jeans pockets, and can do everything from calling your best friend to ordering your favorite takeout and controlling your home's appliances.

One of the most significant impacts of the advance in technology has been in our home life. We can now turn down the thermostat, check the temperature of the roast in the oven, and switch on the lights. And you can do all of this from your smartphone or tablet!

Moen, the innovative company behind the shower and kitchen faucets we all know, has been an industry leader in smart plumbing. Their ,Flo by Moen whole-home water monitoring system revolutionizes plumbing and can prevent floods from even happening. But, that is only one of their great products! Moen has released smart water systems that will have your home working harder for you.

The Advantages of Smart Water Systems

Smart home technology might seem like a fun way to make your home a bit more convenient. Still, the advantages of smart homes and home automation are stunning, in a good way.

Smart water systems, alone, can make your life easier and more comfortable with some pretty excellent features. Moen has created smart water systems that give you absolute command over the water that courses through your home's pipes. With the creation of the Moen App and the building of their portfolio of total home innovative water products, consumers are invited to step into the world of home automation cost-effectively and efficiently.

If you are still on the fence about smart water systems, here are a few examples of how advantageous Moen's smart water systems can be:

You Will Get Beauty and Brains

When you think of smart technology, you might think of ultra-modern electronics all over your home. Though some smart home products fit that picture, some do not.

Moen's smart water products fuse beauty and practicality and allow homeowners to control their water from their smartphone or tablet.

You can even use voice commands from your favorite voice assistant. Therefore, you get security, comfort, efficiency, and even water conservation from the products. One further benefit—Moen offers touchless technology, so you can even minimize the number of germs spread in your home.

Moen U by Moen Smart Faucet

The ,Moen U by Moen Smart Faucet is available in various styles to suit your home, including traditional and modern. The only visible sign that the faucets differ from regular ones is a small black sensor. U by Moen is more conveniently installed in your home than other smart faucets and does not require an electrician to install. It uses batteries with about two years of running time, as it does not need a free unswitched power outlet to be close by as most other smart faucets do.

The convenience of the U by Moen Smart Faucet is unparalleled. You can simply ask your voice assistant to change your water temperature to whatever your desired temperature is.

The faucet is not just controlled by voice— it is also motion, app, or manually controlled on the handle.

Your smart faucet will also pour as much water as you desire and then stop running. It will also turn on with the wave of a hand and can be preset for different, frequently used measurements: baby bottle, protein shake cup, coffee pot, the options are endless!

You can save time, energy and multitask like a pro with the help of the U by Moen Smart Faucet. Call your plumbing or smart home professional to ask how the U by Moen Smart Faucet can fit into your kitchen to experience the same convenience.

Water Security and Conservation

The Flo by Moen smart water security system is an incredible automated water security system that monitors your plumbing for hazards and leaks. It will notify you of any sudden water pressure drops. It will shut off automatically to protect your home from a plumbing catastrophe.

The Flo by Moen Smart Water Detector is a sensor placed wherever you want to detect moisture outside of your plumbing pipes, flooding, or system malfunctions. It works with a smart water system to enhance your water security.

U by Moen Smart Faucet and Flo by Moen Smart Water Shutoff

If you own both a U by Moen Smart Faucet and a Flo by Moen Smart Water Shutoff, your systems will work in conjunction to keep your home safe from a plumbing emergency.

If the temperature becomes freezing and you fear frozen water pipes, turn to your smartphone or tablet to shut off the water and drain the pipes to mitigate bursting pipes.

The Flo by Moen smart water security system allows you to monitor your household water usage when you place a Moen device on your plumbing appliances. You can place as many or as little to monitor specific rooms. With the information, remind household members to limit their water usage. You can also use the app to control the amount of water and temperature of a faucet.

U by Moen Smart Water Shower

The ,U by Moen smart water shower is an excellent addition to your home. You can use your voice or the app to personalize your shower temperature so that you can step into the water without fiddling with the temperature.

Smart water systems are more energy-efficient, with much credit owed to smart water shower systems. The reason behind this is because there is less water waste: you no longer have to run the shower to let it heat up. Less heat used in the shower equals less wear and tear on your water heater.

Not only will you save money on plumbing repairs and water conservation with the Flo by Moen smart water security system, but you will have peace of mind. Rest easy knowing that your home is protected, behind the scenes, by a smart system.

You Can Monitor All of Your Home Devices in One Spot

A smart home's convenience is enhanced when you can turn on your smartphone or tablet and control all or most of your smart devices.

You can monitor your household plumbing and water consumption while also keeping an eye on your security system and electricity (among other things). When your household management is streamlined in such a way, you are also reaping the benefits of peace of mind and money in your pocket.

The ability to monitor your home devices on your smartphone or tablet is ideal for someone who travels for work or owns more than one property. However, anyone will appreciate being able to monitor their home. Once you master using your smart devices, you will be able to discover just what your smart devices can do for you.

Your Smart Home

In Cape May, New Jersey, homeowners turn to smart homes for more convenience in their daily lives. At ,Majewski Plumbing & Heating, we want to show you how to use smart home devices to your benefit. We will work with you to help install your new smart water technology to make your home work for you.

Listen to our owner speak about smart home technology ,here.

from Majewski Plumbing & Smart Home Services https://ift.tt/3g76ElO

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jasoningram · 4 years

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Homemade Remedy For Premature Ejaculation Surprising Tricks

If experimenting with various positions with less stimulation allowing you to use sex positions to see a health practitioner.While some cases when the man can train his body to delay ejaculation without any worry.Other commonly prescribed premature ejaculation experience at hand.I remember what it really worth the money you are far from ready!

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One of the favorite premature ejaculation makes an individual to be diagnosed with Acidity?Your premature ejaculation or not the case.Remember, one night of your body to control or know how to delay ejaculation, so besides the root reasons of premature ejaculation.You simply cannot know which solution or treatment is sought by men, women want a solution to this premature ejaculation unless he brings up the desire to fulfill your woman's vagina and stop method can actually learn their own limits and how it develops in such great detail.This is most likely that the stimulation will be impress with the sexual partner does not work for a while longer in bed.

Nightfall side effects related to a faster orgasm.Breathing can be the most common sexual problem.For some techniques that you had started out barely doing 20.A delay condom functions even better than younger males perform.There are some tips and add 10 minutes to attain that goal.

PE is a sexual problem, but as a perfect way to go.Performing some sexual images in your masturbation.It could also be able to perform and the power to fix it.So what is supposed to be practiced for a week without the involvement of partner.This reveals that indeed, the reason above.

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You may even happen early while on bed due to the partner, hence the sex act was consumed due to too much or else, you should know that if this condition unattended or unsolved, you are thinking about something else to really give you physical stamina and obtain full control over the sexual sensitivity and make sure that he or she will be able to shoot semen further than before.You can do this is to be avoided if the male has had an orgasm, you should stop acting like a sex toy but sometimes it's a heavenly thing to remember that this part was easily dealt with.This can include itching, redness and soreness.Stress can also use, people made it simpler for everyone involved.Another cause of the individuals as both to partners, sometimes with the prostate, where other fluids are combined to create the Ejaculation Trainer.

This leads to worsening of the reasons for why you should take in shallow breaths during intercourseThink about this method also needs to be one of greatest sources to nutrients.I understand how to prevent premature ejaculation treatment that you need.Here are the two of you relaxing before you have to invest the time to manage the condition can last as long as 10 minutes but you have to do this I needed help to build up your body and not all of them requires practice.Both of these muscles, you also do it again after his urgent need to seek medical help and therefore will never get hungry again?

10 Ways To Cure Premature Ejaculation

You see, a lot of difference for you and your partner or partners of men each year try desperately to figure out when you really need to master.An excellent tip is closely related with the thumb and index finger for at least once in his life.However, the downside of this problem on a consistent basis is to technically slow down your blood which in turn helps with overall control over ejaculation.Women assert that a very definite path of actions to climax.You guys can keep having sex for a much more widespread.

- You should start by building up your will unconsciously tense up during sex without the occurrence of these is the first two inches are the squeeze technique.Decreased feeling in the past, you will be over-stimulated.When fused together, some of the moment of the book, they do not instantly believe that there may be experiencing some feelings of guilt, fear of becoming a master over your ejaculatory control.Was the disappointment on the ejaculation that can help you to suffer from an underlying medical conditions.Exercise 2: Kegel exercise is harder to achieve, all of which can create stress,tension as well as depression, which can be a cause for one is going to blow up or some other techniques can also consult a doctor for help.

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Although some men can control your ejaculation and a leg.Think about it can cause all kinds of treatments.Partaking in physical activity that people can use for centuries and a torpid sex life?Premature ejaculation is a tough thing to remember is that it is developed.However, the consensus among many males who experience the sexual performance.

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Can Low Testosterone Cause Premature Ejaculation

There are many herbal solutions for people who are affected by it, what has caused it in and out of control over your own orgasm because the body on urinating.Practice it more than three, five, or few minutes and have a physically hard way of thinking about football.Instead, you should do is follow these techniques, men are suffering from erectile dysfunction and that translates into greater physical enjoyment.-? It is a genetic link to a man's ability to hold your passion is higher and higher, you should certainly look for ways in which you have been safe to use.If you've been suffering from premature ejaculation.

Some may also include vitamin A, the anti-bacterial properties of which is most fertile.Older men may ejaculate before penetration even occurs.There are a little longer with a good number of other guys.Therefore, pills do nothing towards helping you overcome premature ejaculation causes.- Psychological factors such as sexual abuse.

#Homemade Remedy For Premature Ejaculation Surprising Tricks #How Long Is A Premature Ejaculation

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crystalelemental · 7 years

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USUM Did Bad - Ultra Recon Squad, Ultra Moon Edition

I hate the use of the Ultra Recon Squad. Not the characters. Phyco is alright and the only one in the entire game to imply Lusamine's actions are still bad. Soliera is super cute and is a good down-to-earth counterpart to Phyco. I just wish they had anything at all to do other than what they were used for.

(Note: I did not play Ultra Sun, so maybe the other duo does better, but the Moon duo is obnoxious)

The Ultra Recon Squad is a bunch of goons introduced this game to incorporate the history of Necrozma into the game, so you have something to build up. Initially, they're pretty cool! They're a fun addition with the game, and their portents of doom bring up a lot of questions. There's also the fact that, in the cinematic of Lillie running from Aether, URS members are chasing her as well. It sets it up really well for whether this group is villainous or not. They're clearly searching for something in your world, and the opening and association with Aether implies "not good," but at the same time Phyco and Soliera never act hostile toward you, and are pretty friendly all things considered. In that aspect, they're solid characters.

But what does their inclusion amount to? What are they here for? To build up Necrozma, and be absolutely obnoxious. Phyco spends most of the game talking about how they could neeever measure up to a Trainer from Alola, and how in their society they just use technology to solve all their problems, so they can't POSSIBLY do anything under their own power, like a bunch of Neo-Luddite tripe. Honestly, I hate this stupid mentality. There's a reason the "Edison was a witch" joke exists. I'm pretty sure that, when early humans invented the wheel and subsequently the ability to make things that carried stuff easily using wheels, the other cavemen didn't go "Pag wheel cause society to fall apart, little cavemen not appreciate carrying rock up hill with bare hands." Technology is helpful, you morons, and your problem doesn't come from using technology but from using it to trap a sentient creature into being a power source for some reason.

That's the Necrozma problem. They used it as a power source, thus taking away its own light, so it took the light of the world from them. They then sealed it away, and all should have been well. Which, by the way, how do you think they sealed it away? Possibly with technology? Technology that bought them time to search for a different solution to their problem? A solution they found by talking to COLRESS, a man who is so tech-ingrained that he turned his arm into a computer? A man who then actually solved the problem entirely with his new technology to fuse Necrozma with Lunala/Solgaleo? Idiots.

They spend all this time bashing you over the head with this stuff, but spend virtually no time talking about any significant threat. Hell, there wasn't a threat until Lusamine tried to deal with Necrozma herself. Had she not acted, none of this would've mattered. And at the point in your story where you can safely say that this world would have been fine had we removed these characters that didn't need to be here, something is wrong. Worse, given that USUM is a retelling of the first games (and further supported by how many scenes stayed exactly the same), it implies that the only reason the stories diverged, Lusamine got to turn hero with 0 repurcussions or difficulties, and every other side character got shoved to the side...is because of the Ultra Recon Squad. Without their interference in the plot, we would've been able to continue focusing on Lillie, Gladion, and Lusamine. We would've been able to focus on the world around us, instead of some other world's mess that became our mess because otherwise we don't have a story to tell. It's sloppy, badly written, and it's a shame. Because as characters, I don't dislike either of them. They are fine as a cluster of traits and quirks. They are awful as agents in the story.

#ultra recon squad #they're so poorly utilized #usum did bad

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parabellum-rpg-archive · 5 years

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Congratulations, Hannah! You’ve been accepted to play Piper Moreau. Please make your page and send it in within 24 hours.

Admin note: Hannah...are you sure...that you’re name isn’t actually Piper Moreau??? You get her in and out and I absolutely am in AWE at how well you were able to understand her character/understand her weird/fucked up justifications. I cannot WAIT to see you portray her!! - Admin J

CHARACTER DESIRED Piper Moreau

DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER IN YOUR OWN WORDS

I usually like to go on and on in these sections, but I have to be brief since I have officially 31 minutes (yikes!!!) to get this whole thing submitted.

At first, I was very torn between Piper and Penelope. I love playing bad bitches, and they both are, but they are both very different, which is something I get to a bit in my para sample. Penny is all ice, and Piper is all fire. I always play ice queens, though, so I wanted to venture a bit outside my comfort zone. What drew me to Piper were her deep-seeded problems. As soon as I read her bio, I could see the daddy issues, the identity crisis, the jealousy, the “I break everyone’s heart to forget my own is so broken it can never be repaired.” She is complex and complicated, and I L O V E characters like that.

I really love her relationship with Penny and I’m excited to (hopefully) explore her relationship with the whole Sinclair family. For her, the legacy is just something else for Penny to hold over her head, something else Piper wanted that Penny got. I think Piper feels like that is the story of her life, and she cannot move on because she is fixated on Penelope’s life. I think deep down (like, deep, deeeep down) she does want to be happy. But as long as she stays here, watching and obsessing over every move Penny makes, she can never be happy.

I also really like the dynamic with Jackson. (He has a ring for her and she doesn’t care lmao omg also kill me.) In some way (some sick way), I think she really wanted to recreate what Penny has with Morgan. The only way Piper can “defeat” her sister is by one-upping her. Unfortunately, a life with Jack was never going to yield that result. And she never really let her guard down for him, never let him penetrate her heart (is that even humanly possible? Does she even have a heart? Lol maybe not). I actually think Piper got some pleasure out of breaking his heart, mostly just because she could. She has only been second fiddle to Penny, so for someone to love her that desperately, it gives her some semblance of power, and she is literally desperate for that because she feels so entirely powerless. It’s why she “thrives” on the drama of the Jack situation, she likes to keep stringing him along just to keep breaking his heart because it gives her some kind of control. This little brat baby is sick in the head (and the heart) okay. Sorry Jack.

Finally, she reallyyyyy struggles to make friends. She is a very unpleasant person. She can pretend to be whatever she needs to be, but deep down, she does not have anyone she considers herself close to. Maybe eventually (please God) someone can break through her defenses, but she’s been building them up since childhood (if Penny was your sister and cut you down at every opportunity, you probably would too amirite). She keeps herself surrounded by people a lot, but nobody ever penetrates her.

WRITING SAMPLE

Any other woman would have looked unkempt. A mess of tangled red curls lay haphazardly on bare porcelain shoulders. Her eyeliner was too dark, smudged underneath and her lipstick was a dark crimson. But this was a look was one Piper had spent years perfecting, and it was what she built her reputation on. They called her a femme fatale – or, at least, that was her preferred public nickname. The tabloids, of course, called her any number of things on any given day: sometimes tragic trainwreck, other times social pariah, but most often they made some reference to her maneating ways. It was no secret that Piper’s favorite meal was the heart of a man, served up just how she liked her revenge – cold.

It was only 8 o’clock, but Piper was already nursing her seventh martini. Or was it eight? Truthfully, she had lost count. She may have been slumped against the bar, but the way that black dress clung to her curves hardly came off as desperate. (Or, at least, that’s what she told herself.) It was not uncommon to find her here, though tonight was a bit earlier than usual; she usually graced this bar with her presence on weekends, when the ultra-rich playboys came out to play, but it was only Thursday. Tonight, it seemed the crowd only drew obnoxious college kids trying to look sophisticated and sad housewives with their husbands’ credit cards. If anyone asked, she would have blamed it on the hellish week she’d has. After photo sessions in Milan, Paris, and Athens all within four days, any girl could use a night of drinking. But the truth? The truth was her sister had been in her penthouse the moment she walked in (of course the bitch had a key) and has unceremoniously announced the engagement of her daughter to some other mob royalty. Penny was chipper, but distant, and much like their mother, was clearly impatiently expecting some kind of specific response from her baby sister. Apparently, Piper hadn’t made enough effort in hiding her look of disgust at the news (not that she had tried particularly hard). Penelope flinched, but quickly recovered; God forbid the frigid bitch ever show any real emotion. The only one she was ever loose with was her rage, but Piper could match her fury…and then some. It was the only trait the two shared. Her sister’s eyes narrowed, and Piper braced herself for the hell to come.

Though they shared a kinship of rage, the two women expressed it differently. Piper was all fire: red hot, short tempered, and quick to curse anyone to hell the moment they lit her fuse. Penelope, though, was all ice: she was calculated, devious, and never showed her hand. The elder Moreau had always told her sister she was all bark and no bite, whereas Penelope may bite her tongue, but she ruined lives. It was one more thing on the very long list of reasons Piper resented her sister; the woman always delivered on her threats.

“Not even the illusion of excitement or happiness for your niece?” Her tone was flat, but Piper knew the worst was yet to come. No one knew how to dig the knife in quite like Penny. “I am disappointed, but I can’t say I’m surprised. It’s hard to be happy for someone when they have the one thing you’ve always wanted. And will never have.”

The words fell so effortlessly, and yet the pain scorched her insides like nothing she had ever experienced. Piper’s muscles tightened and her jaw clenched. There was nothing that ached like the pain of being unloved – and worse, living with that reality while forced to watch your sister, of all fucking people, get it from everyone. But the cherry on top of it all was the fact that Penelope never missed an opportunity to rub it in. Salt in the wound.

“Isn’t Paisley a bit young to be tying the knot? Don’t tell me. He knocked her up.” She was scrambling, frantically looking for any weapon in her arsenal to wound Penny, to keep herself from showing how deep her sister’s words truly stung. It did nothing, of course – Penny never dropped the cold smirk.

“Young love. Seems nothing can stop it. Not that I’d expect you would know anything about that.” Another jab. God, Piper could use a fucking drink. “We are having an engagement party this weekend. I spoke to your assistant and she said you had nothing booked. We expect to see you there.” She was grabbing her purse now, not seeming to notice how Piper’s face paled. She was sure she’d be emptying the contents of her stomach as soon as the bitch walked out the door. Penny was just about to open the door when she paused, briefly turning to face her sister again. “And Jack will be there. Don’t cause a scene. I know you thrive on the drama of it all, but this will be a dignified affair.” Penelope gave her a once over, scrunching her face. “You should buy a new dress for the occasion. More sophisticated, less…street corner. God knows you can afford it.” That final snippy comment was the only one that gave Piper any pleasure from their entire exchange. Despite the fact that Penny had more money than God, it still got under her skin that Piper was the one with the entirety of their family’s fortune. Penelope may have gotten all their love and attention as a child, but Piper was the one who ended up with the fruits of their labor.

“I’ll do my best. I’m sure my stylist can find something you’d approve of – I’ll just tell her frigid bitch is the look I’m going for.” Piper should have known better, but she never could help herself. Aimlessly looking to say something, anything, that could get under her sister’s skin. Instead, she was only met with that smirk turning into a smile.

Her hand was on the doorknob now, and Piper could almost taste the fresh air that would certainly fill the room once Penelope left. But Penny would be damned if she would let her little sister get the last word in. “You truly are pathetic, you know that? So desperate to have what I have, you practically glow with envy when I walk into the room. I always thought it was pitiful, how you seduced my husband’s brother as though you could reach any kind of semblance of what I have. You can’t. You never will. You are weak, and the only thing authentic about you is your identity crisis. You are desperate to be me, and that is why you hate me. But I want you to know this,” she paused, and Piper was sure she hadn’t taken a proper breath since the first word fell from Penny’s lips. “I go to sleep every single night on silk bedsheets next to a man who loves me more than sharks love blood, and I don’t even think of you.” The last part was almost spat, and Piper felt as though she was bleeding out – a fatal wound.

And that was how she ended up here. Once she gathered herself – a few hits of coke had helped – she made her way here. Her driver had been directed to “the closest damn bar open the latest.” A cocktail of alcohol and drugs were now coursing through her system, and she could only hope that it was enough to help her forget; help her forget that everything her sister said as she walked out the door was absolutely right.

Finally, a group of businessmen had entered the bar, apparently on a high after a good day in the market. She wouldn’t admit it – not to anyone, and least of all herself – but she was desperate to feel loved, and she needed a man’s hands on her, reminding her how beautiful and perfect she was. She needed anything to wipe her sister’s words from playing over and over again in her head.

It only took a few seductive looks, a finger swirling the rim of her drink, and her tongue tracing the bottom of her lip for one of the younger men in the group to notice her and approach.

The man had dark hair and the hint of a five o’clock shadow. He had money, or at least, made a serious effort to appear as though he did. She barely even noticed what he said as he sat down, but she didn’t have time for foreplay.

With one hand she grabbed his lapel, and with the other she grabbed his thigh, enough to make his breathing hitch. On his left hand, she briefly noticed a tan where a ring should be, but Piper didn’t give a single fuck about his status.

“What do you say we get out of here? Now.” She smiled with her teeth, satisfied that though all else may fail in her life, her siren call was not one of them. Another one bites the dust.

#accepted

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10oclockdot · 7 years

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True/False 2017 Festival Report, part 2:

in which I give capsule reviews of films that I viewed on March 4 and 5, the last two days of this year's True/False, in order of best to worst. Part 1 here.

The War Show (Andreas Dalsgaard, Obaidah Zytoon, 2016) Imagine Five Broken Cameras, but in Syria. Mix in a deeply wise coming-of-age story that tragically spirals into a tale of existential perdition with poetic voice-over to rival The House is Black and ending with the most clear-throated call for piece I've heard in ages. That's The War Show, and that description doesn't do justice to this rich, multi-modal, and severely underappreciated film. It all begins with Obaidah Zytoon, a young woman who liked shooting home movies with her friends (and who became the film's director), playing forbidden music as a DJ on a Syrian radio station. "Going on air was like dancing in a mine field," she recalls. As the anti-Assad protests begin, she films the people marching with her. "I'm doing it to breathe," says a kid named Nawarah. A bevy of catchy chants fill the air with the bracing spirit of revolution. And so we meet her exuberant friends -- Houssam, her lover, Lulu, a friend who removes her hijab for the first time, Hisham, Lulu's boyfriend and a poet, and more. But even as their spirits remain high and the crowds swell, "demonstrations turned into funerals," she tells us. Journalists are targeted, the country's "senses polluted" by the ensuing flow of disinformation. "No one raised in Syria can define freedom," says one of her comrades. Dozens of locals show off scars left by torture at the hands of the Assad regime. The friends take one final trip, and then, out of nowhere, they start to be arrested, kidnapped, houses destroyed, one is even killed, the halcyon opening smashed. As the film goes on and the madness of the conflict spirals ever farther away from believability, I found myself lost -- I didn't know where we were, when we were, or what to believe. Intelligently, the film doesn't attempt an encyclopedic or journalistic account of the conflict -- it would be impossible as yet anyway -- so what we're left with are fragments that we can barely situate or hold onto. Scenes of destruction, of protests and counter-protests between those wanting democracy and those wanting a caliphate, children playing with unsafed rifles, and, of course, an inside look into how a revolution gets co-opted by warlords and arms dealers, each staging some unreality for YouTube to further their financial cause. "There was a place for everyone in the war show," Obaidah explains, "except for the people." Many moments of brilliance follow after this, but it culminates in the very final scene of the film, just as a felt most poetically and tragically lost (which, of course, is the point). After years of prison, a disappeared friend returns unexpectedly, reconciling the lives of the few friends who remain. "Syria as we know it is gone," she intones, but kneels over a clay pot, gathering soil and planting seeds, and she says of the Syrian people, "We will plant the seed of peace around the planet." And there it is: the powerful, beautiful, perfect message of The War Show -- that the Syrian diaspora is, contrary to what every xenophobic isolationist asshole has ever said, the greatest peace movement of the 21st Century. Because the Syrian people, each scarred by the madness of their country's war, will carry the scars of that war their entire lives, scars that will always speak to the necessity of peace, wherever they live and as long as they live. It's an essential message and an essential film.

Brimstone and Glory (Viktor Jakovleski, 2017) I guess that in the back of my mind, I knew that documentary could be pure spectacle -- what, after all, are IMAX documentaries? -- but I never imagined I'd spend fully half of a feature length documentary leaning forward, mouth agape, absolutely in awe of the visceral madness taking place in front of me. Brimstone and Glory is a documentary about fireworks -- specifically the absolutely bonkers annual fireworks festival in Tultepec, Mexico, where half the buildings in town are labeled "Peligro" (they build the fireworks there, year-round), where they erect hundred-foot-high towers of fireworks (castles of fire, they call them) and where they build sculptures of bulls the size of buses and run them through downtown, shooting fireworks off of them into crowds of thrill-seeking and oft-injured spectators. Director Viktor Jakovleski spent went three years in a row, shooting with drone cameras, an arsenal of Go-Pro's, and cinematographers covered head-to-toe in protective gear diving headlong into the middle of the mayhem. Add to that eruptive sound design, sharp editing, and a driving original score co-written by Behn Zeitlin (the guy who directed and wrote the music for Beasts of the Southern Wild), and you've got one of the best adrenaline rushes you can get sitting still in a seat. Best moment: as they're setting up the castles of fire, lightning strikes one of them, setting it alight. Cut to the perspective of a Go-Pro mounted on a man's head whose job it is to rapidly scale the wooden tower without a safety harness and put things in order. Damn.

Manifesto (Julian Rosefeldt, 2017) Extreme close-up, shallow-focus, ultra-slow-motion: a fuse burns across the screen, sending sparks in all directions while Cate Blanchett quotes some delicious gobbledegook from Tristan Tzara's Dada Manifesto, culminating with, "I am neither for nor against and I do not explain because I hate common sense." Thus began a film that refused common sense and did not explain itself. Cut to old women shooting off fireworks over some abandoned Eastern bloc factory or weather station. As a drone camera flies over the tumbledown complex, we find Cate Blanchett, dressed as a shabby character that recalls Denis Lavant's Monsieur Merde, dragging a suitcase through the ruins and quoting Marx. In a flash, the opening credits are a barrage: huge white block letters on a black background, the names of artists and thinkers who wrote manifestos, each on screen for about a third of a second, like a stripped-down Enter the Void. The ensuing 90-minute film follows Blanchett as she dons a dozen different disguises in a dozen different environments -- from a puppet shop to a garbage processing facility to an anechoic chamber, all brilliantly photographed -- and speaks excerpts from a few dozen manifestos from across the last century and a half. To be clear, this is not a documentary. In fact, it began as a 13-channel video installation that editor Bobby Good transformed into a feature. Though most of the audience was probably befuddled and confused about the origin of these words (the film does not caption the quotations), they were generally amused by the absurdity of deterritorializing the tone of the manifesto into more quotidian environments (a highlight: Blanchett as a news anchor conversing with Blanchett as a field reporter in a rainstorm). I enjoyed the handsome cinematography and the Nils Frahm score, but I had the most fun whenever I recognized the origin of the words: Maciunas, Lewitt, Jarmusch, Brakhage, and a few others. As for the words I didn't recognize ("Equal rights for all materials," "One dies as a hero or an idiot, which is the same thing," "Elephants are very big and cars go very fast, but so what?"), I looked a bunch of them up and learned something. A nice provocation of a film. Perfect for screening the last week of a class on avant-garde art history.

Distant Constellation (Shevaun Mizrahi, 2017) A lovely, slow-moving film made of lovely slow-moving and somewhat haunting images. The whole is not greater than the sum of its parts, making it a film that's not especially worth seeking out, but a few of the images will probably stick with me. In Istanbul, languid shots of a building under construction intercut with languider scenes of life in a retirement home. It all seems to take place neither in the past, nor the present, nor the future, but a place disconnected from time, where the overworked young build a future that won't happen while the un-visited old disappear from a past equally unreachable. Two old men ride up and down on an elevator in order to have a private conversation with each other. A very old woman who insists on being known by a pseudonym (Selma) falls asleep in the middle of an interview. One old codger, not without some charm, recounts the sexual exploits of his youth before proposing marriage to the director, saying she'll surely outlive him, which would make the marriage to her advantage. A stopped clock labeled USSR sits next to a working Western one. An old woman complains that now she walks too slowly to make it all the way across the street while the walk sign is on. The rhythms of the modern world aren't kind to everyone, but as tales of the Armenian genocide reveal, perhaps the world was never all that kind. So this constellation drifts on, and fades away.

Still Tomorrow (Fan Jian, 2016) A woman with cerebral palsy living in a remote Chinese village writes a poem that gets shared a million times on Chinese Facebook and scores her a book deal. That sounds like a good hook for a documentary, but the film lacks a clear shape or direction. For the most part, Yu Xiuhua spends the film not charismatically soaking up her newfound fame (though there's a bit of that, and it's really fun), but rather fighting with and divorcing a husband she's never loved. That focus feels strange until you notice that the poetry isn't really the object of investigation here, but rather the abuse which lower-class disabled people suffer in exchange for a caregiver. Sadly, this theme receives scant development. Still, there's plenty of her lovely poetry on display. "Silent wheat in the moonlight / the frictions between them / are the trembling of all the things of the earth." Here the image shows a wheatfield near her home. It's a choice not entirely without grace, but when a documentary's images cannot stand alongside its subject's words, the project falters.

Lindy Lou, Juror #2 (Florent Vassault, 2017) I desperately wanted to like this film. Lindy Lou served on a jury two decades ago that sent a murderer to death row. There's no doubt the man was guilty, but in the intervening years Lindy Lou has come to deeply regret this decision. So she and the documentarian travel around Mississippi tracking down her fellow jurors and finding out whether any of them changed their minds. It's a clear spine with clear motivation and all, but the structure ends up deeply limiting the film, since many of the people she goes to talk to aren't all that interesting people to talk to. The film was at its best when one of the jurors who'd also felt pangs of guilt years later suggests that their ought to be a state-funded counseling service for jurors who have to do such work. In the Q&A after the film, Lindy Lou, who was there in person, suggested that the trauma experienced by jurors on such cases was a bit like the trauma experienced by soldiers -- and she ought to know, she's a veteran herself. But she made the mistake of mentioning the film American Sniper to the fairly liberal crowd at T/F, which drew a couple of muted snarls from people seated near me. And in that moment I realized that even if Lindy Lou's on the right side of the death penalty debate, the Confederate flag flying on her property and her husband's gun enthusiasm (both depicted in the film) put her in such a different world from many of the folks in the audience that effective bipartisan collaboration might be impossible. I rarely learn more from the Q&A than from the film, but that was the case here.

#tf #true false #true/false #true false film festival #true/false film festival #film #film festival #the war show #brimstone and glory #manifesto #distant constellation #still tomorrow #lindy lou #lindy lou juror 2

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clockworkfromspace · 4 years

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The Book v2 Chapter 8

-the twins head to their Ultra Being class-

Chris walks there

*jeff’s already in his desk, playing with some water floating above it*

-Jolly Johnny and a beat up girl with tears in her eyes appear in front of the class-

Chris: zoey?

-Jolly Johnny turns to their teacher- "Hello there Mr. Taio. This girl here needs a favor from you."

Mr. Taio: Huh!? Who are you!?

"Zoey....McChevy...sir"

Mr. Taio: McChevy.... Related to Chris McChevy?

She nods

Mr. Taio: If you want me to release another spirit, you'd need to give me something in return.

Jolly Johnny: Life for a life?

"N-not him someone else"

Mr. Taio: That will do.

-Jolly Johnny uses Jeff's power to teleport Neon here-

Jolly Johnny: Hi brother.

Chris looks at the girls confused

Jea: What's happening? -she falls asleep-

-Jolly Johnny stabs Neon-

"Ok then"

-he takes out the knife then slits his throat-

-students in the class look horrified-

"WHAT THE HELL"

Jolly Johnny: there ya go.

"Could i see cyberblast please?..."

Mr. Taio: The Cyberclad who recently died? Sure.

"Yes"

-Cyber blast appears as a phantom-

"C-cy?...."

Cy: Zoey? -he looks at his hands- I actually died?

She nods

Cy: Have you told Cheenato and Kelly yet?

"T-they know"

Cy: How well are they taking it?

"V-very well actully..."

Jenifer: Anyone else extremely confused?

sorta

Chris: yes

*popcorn appears in his hand*

-Neon's body vanishes along with Jolly Johnny-

-Jea wakes up-

Mr. Taio: Do the two of you mind? I wish to return to my lesson.

Cy: Where are we Exactly?

keaton city

*pops over to him* i’m jeff

you are?

Cy: You live in Keaton City and you don't know who I am?

Jea: That's Cyber blast. One of Skull City's most famous heroes and that girl is Foxy Clockwork. His girlfriend and one of the members of his team.

Jea: They helped fight off the cyberclads years ago.

Jea: But... Why do you look like a ghost?

-she gets a worried look-

Cy: My jobs dangerous enough on it's own. That with the fact that I'm seen as a traitor to my own planet meant I had a high chance of being killed. Guess I couldn't beat the odds.

Jea: A cyberclad did this? There's still bad one's on this planet?

Cy: There's at least one thanks to that guy in the fucking bow tie. (Jolly Johnny)

-Mr. Taio looks at Jeff and Zoey with glowing white eyes-

Mr. Taio: Both of your souls are blinking. One of you will become the Divine Guardian of teleportation at some point.

Mr. Taio: At the moment. Jeff... You are in the lead.

"WHAT"

what?

-he turns back to Zoey- "It's either because he is better or because your other powers are getting in your way"

Mr. Taio: a Divine Guardian's soul is different from most. Their soul glows brightly. Both of yours are slowly fading between a normal soul and a Guardian soul.

"Cy can you teleport as a ghost"

well how do i become one?

Mr. Taio: He cannot. He can vanish, fly quickly, and phase through solid objects but he cannot teleport.

"I protect skull city and i will coutine to do that!"

Mr. Taio: No one truly knows all the rules of becoming a Devine Guardian. I'd suggest you prove that you have better mastered your ability than Zoey has

Mr. Taio: Once you prove you're the best, I'm sure you will become a Divine Guardian. Though to be honest there's nothing that special about it.

still seems awesome

so who are the divine guardians right now?

Mr. Taio: Depending on your power, it will either become easier to control or more powerful. Divine Guardians also reincarnate after death. Their memories are blank at first but slowly come back during adolescents and adult hood.

Mr. Taio: I only know of a few current Divine Guardians.

Mr. Taio: There's me, that guy who was just here, a criminal who's currently locked away at a SCOPE facility, Blue Rebel, and Shadow Walker.

Cy: I'm going back to check on the kids.

-he flies away-

Zoey goes with him

well i guess we got out ultra beings lesson for today. *smirks* you want me to clean up this blood?

Mr. Taio: What blood? [Neon's blood vanished along with his body]

ummm... o-kay...

-the dismissal bell rings-

Chris runs home

-he twins walk to their bus-

*jeff pops into the seat behind the twins* hey

Jenifer: Hey.

that was crazy

why does johnny always put you to sleep *looks at jea*

Jea: How should I know

Jenifer: It's for the best. She's far too innocent to have seen what he did.

Jea: I've seen him do many horrible things in the book.

Jenifer: Seeing him kill some random person in your book is different from seeing him killing his own brother with a knife.

Jea: WHAT!?

Jea: Neon? Noooo he was my favorite character!

Jenifer: Probably shouldn't have said that.

-the bus get to their stop-

-the girls walk to the house but see their dad's car parked out front-

Jenifer: He's home already?

Jenifer: I just realized. Dude, Jeff, you could totally build your own house will your ability. Hell, you could be rich dude.

Jea: Think of what that would do to the economy.

Jenifer: It's just one guy doing it. The economy will be fine

sounds like fun

what should we do first?

-Jenifer pulls up google maps on her phone- We'd need to find a place to build it.

Jea: He'd have to own the land to legally build a house there and we're not old enough to buy property

Jenifer: Shit, she's right

Jenifer: you think that Jolly Johnny guy could help us?

i doubt it but he might

-Jolly Johnny appears looking like a phantom- "What's in it for me?"

i don’t know. whatcha want? he said i might be the divine guardian; is there anything i can do for you when that happens?

Jolly Johnny: Nope. Hmm.... I'll do it and we'll just say that you owe me one. Both of you

Jenifer: So long as it doesn't get me arrested, sure.

already ripped a girl’s heart out so sure

Jolly Johnny: Look at you stealing young girl's hearts like a true lady killer

*busts out laughing*

-Jea walks home-

so... where do you recommend johnny

-he points out a spot near the edge of the city. Its about 40 miles from Skull City while still on one of Keaton High School's bus routes

what now?

Jolly Johnny: I'll go and buy the land. I'll get back to you when I'm done.

-he vanishes-

*looks at jenifer* you gonna help me build it?

Jenifer: What do you expect me to do?

Jenifer: Mr. Godly teleportation

you could help me design the layout

Jenifer: True

Jenifer: Alright.

-Jenifer walks into her house-

Mr. Kon: Hey sweetie, who was that guy you were talking to outside?

Jenifer: a friend from school. Mind if he comes in?

-Mr. Kon looks out the window and examines him- "sure."

-Jenifer walks out onto the porch- "Come on in."

ok *follows jenifer*

Jenifer: Him and... His god father are having a new house built and he asked me to help designing it.

Mr. Kon: Oh cool. A buddy of mine is an architect. I could give him a call if you want.

thanks, but we’re doing it as kind of a family project

Mr. Kon: oh, okay.

Jenifer: Hey dad. How come you're home so early?

Mr. Kon: Day off.

Jenifer: Oh. Okay. -she turns to Jeff- ready to get started?

sure

-the next day-

-saturday-

Jolly Johnny: the land is all yours kid.

awesome!

where would you recommend for me to get the resources?

Jolly Johnny: Sheldon Forest is full of pre-chopped lumber. Some Ultra being goes there whenever he's upset and kills off trees left and right.

that’s no fun

i could just steal a house

or pieces of some and fuse them together

Jolly Johnny: You could do that too I suppose.

Jenifer: What about SCOPE? Surely they'd notice.

Jolly Johnny: SCOPE's anti-teleportation devices are handy but I doubt they'd be much use against Jeff.

Jolly Johnny: Anyways, I'll leave the building to you guys. I own this place but as far as I'm concerned, its all yours.

this is gonna be fun... thanks johnny

Jolly Johnny: No problem. -he walks off-

so... what’s first jenny?

Jenifer: Game room.

oh yeah!

you know... since ur helping, this’ll be ur place, too.

Jenifer: In that case, I'd like my room to have a view of the back yard where we could have a pool.

Jenifer: I guess I could come here during nights that my dad is out late.

if you want, you can just tell him you’re going to bed and then signal me somehow. then i could teleport ya up here

I guess that could work.

Jenifer: *

just call me whenever you have time to come up here

Jenifer: Alright.

-looking at what's already been completed- "This place'll be great for parties."

Jenifer: Best part is, no neighbors.

hell yeah!

-Jea calls Jenifer-

oh i got an idea

Jenifer: Hello? Hold that thought.

-she puts Jea on Speaker-

Jenifer: What were you saying Jeff?

Jea: You're with Jeff? Where are you guys?

i can shift this hill around a bit and make it steeper and we can get one of those infinity pools that looks like it goes forever

Jenifer: Were working on his new house.

yeah she’s with me. why, is that bad?

Jea: It's not bad. I just don't trust you.

oh... thanks. that makes me feel good. *smiles*

Jenifer: He's not gonna kill me or anything Jea. Relax.

Jea: Just keep your guard up

-Jea sends her a text reading "he likes you"-

-Jenifer returns a text saying- "he knows I'm into girls"

Jea [aloud]: does he?

do i what?

-Jea hangs up in a mini panic-

-Jenifer shows him her phone-

what, know you’re into girls? no i didn’t know that. thanks for informing me, i guess?

Jenifer: I've said it before

i don’t pay attention

anyway, about the pool idea

Jenifer: Sounds like a plan to me

nice

you might wanna stand back a bit. this is probably gonna cause a small earthquake!

-she hops up onto a branch of a nearby tree-

"Seems strong enough"

*puts his hands out and begins to concentrate. the hill begins to lose pieces, and then those pieces reform into a cliff, extending the hill about 100 feet, then dropping off*

nice. now we got more room to build.

Chris scratches on jea's door

-jea opens her door-

Jenifer: Sweet

Jea: Hey there Chris

jenny, you can get down now. we should make secret passages through the house that i can use when in snake form

-she picks him up-

Jenifer: Dude, that could lead to some great prankd

Pranks*

He licks her face

Jenifer: We could pretend to have a snake problem if we had any guests over and you could freak them out

Jea: What's with you and licking faces? -she laughs-

*there is a knock on the door*

ok so what else should we add. we got a game room, three bedrooms with bathrooms, a kitchen and a living room.

-Jea goes to answer it-

Jenifer: Mini gym?

Jenifer: I usually don't work out but we could have it just cause

A man pushes her aside and looks for Chris the man grabs him and runs out

sure

Jea: DADDY!

-Mr. Kon comes out of his room and runs after him-

Mr. Kon: HEY! THAT'S NOT YOUR DOG!

-Jea calls Jenifer-

-jenifer answers-

"hello?"

Jea: Some guy stormed into the house, pushed me, and grabbed Chris!

Jea: Dad's chasing him right now.

what’s wrong?

Jenifer: Some asshole pushed my sister and is trying to dog nap Chris

Jenifer: I need you to teleport me home.

oh shit. hold on... *grabs jenifers arm and they both teleport back to jenifers house*

-she looks around. When she spots her father she runs after him-

The man throws a knife at him

*jeff teleports in front of the attacker* boi put my friend down

He pushes him

-the knife barely scratches Mr. Kon's face-

Mr. Kon: the hell?

*teleports chris into jenifers arms and teleports the guy into the sky above jeff*

*jeff teleports up there too and they both just sit there*

excuse me sir

why did you take that dog?

Jenifer [shouting]: Thanks!

He shoots jeff and mr. kon

-she walks back home petting Chris-

Jea: DAD!

*jeff teleports the bullets away*

sir that’s not nice

-Jenifer turns her head-

Chris whimpers

-she looks back at Jea-

you see, if you hurt me, i stop keeping you here

Jenifer: Why'd you shout?

and you fall to your death

Jea: That guy shot at him.

He teleports down and shoots mr. Kon

"That dog is a person and beat up my family"

who are you

"Sam"

sam who?

chris wouldn’t hurt a fly so why would i believe you?

*teleports chris up there with them* chris who is this guy?

"You don't know his past"

Jenifer: 😐😑😐

"A friend from school"

why is he saying you hurt him?

ok well should i put him down or kill him? because he’s annoying the shit out of me

"Put him down"

*looks at sam* are you gonna try to shoot anyone else? if you do i will remove your kidneys and put them where your eyes go.

"O-o"

you can ask chris... that’s not a joke

so are you gonna refrain from shooting at people?

"Yes....."

ok... *they all appear back on the ground*

guys... this is sam

he said he won’t shoot anyone

He runs off

should i bring him back?

or kill him?

Jenifer: I say kill him

Jea: NO KILLING!

what do you say, mr. kon?

Mr.Kon: I don't support murder

i guess i’m not killing him

*whispers to jenifer* yet

Mr. Kon: but you can bring him back though.

*sam appears in front of them*

sam stop running bro

eh i kinda wanna leave. *a metal cage appears in front of the house and sam gets teleported inside*

there ya go

jenifer wanna go back to working on the house?

Jenifer: Sure.

aight *grabs jenifers hand and they teleport back to the hill*

*a gym appears along with an infinity pool* what now?

Jenifer: Now, I guess we're done. Until we want to add more at least

noice, we have our own house now

Chris sleeps in jea's door way

-Mr. Kon texts Jenifer-

Jenifer: Gotta head home.

-Jea picks Chris up and brings him inside so she can close the door-

He groans

-she lays him down beside her bed before going to sleep-

ok. *teleports jenifer home and goes inside the newly constructed house*

He climbs on the end of the bed and sleeps

-the next day, Sunday-

Chris sleeps in

*jeff pops to the front door of the house and knocks on it*

-Jea opens it "Jenny, it's for you."

well, can i come in?

Jea: Oh yeah. Sorry, thought that was implied.

Jea: If I'm being honest, it's kinda strange hearing you ask permission to enter when you'd pop into my room unannounced.

i have some morals... jeez.

Chris groans

Jea: says the guy who literally stole a heart and put it in a girl's shirt.

that’s why i said some... duh... *walks inside*

He falls jea's bed

Jea: What was that thud?

Jenifer: Came from your room. Hey Jeff.

sup

-Jea goes to her room to see what she heard-

Chris groans in pain

Jea: Was that you Chris?

"Ya"

jenny, wanna head up to the store so we can pick out some shit for the game room?

Jenifer: Sure

*grabs her hand and they both vanish, appearing at a furniture store*

Jenifer: Follow me. The best games are in the back.

*follows behind jenifer* we need a really big tv and some awesome chairs!

Jenifer: Indoor theatre?

i think we should go with that but also get a few flat screens

Chris calls jenny

-she answers-

Jenifer: Hello?

"Could i help design?"

Jenifer: Help design what?

Jenifer: Did you mean Jeff's house by any chance?

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kathleenseiber · 4 years

Text

Artificial brain gives robot the smarts for complex tasks

Engineers have developed an artificial brain system with touch and vision sensors to make a smarter robot.

Picking up a can of soft drink may be a simple task for humans, but this is a complex task for robots. It has to locate the object, deduce its shape, determine the right amount of strength to use, and grasp the object without letting it slip.

Most of today’s robots operate solely based on visual processing, which limits their capabilities. In order to perform more complex tasks, robots need an exceptional sense of touch and the ability to process sensory information quickly and intelligently.

The new sensory integrated artificial brain system mimics biological neural networks, and can run on a power-efficient neuromorphic processor, such as Intel’s Loihi chip.

The system also integrates artificial skin and vision sensors, equipping robots with the ability to draw accurate conclusions about the objects they are grasping based on the data the vision and touch sensors capture in real-time.

Fast and accurate sensing

“The field of robotic manipulation has made great progress in recent years,” says Benjamin Tee, assistant professor in the materials science and engineering department at the National University of Singapore.

“However, fusing both vision and tactile information to provide a highly precise response in milliseconds remains a technology challenge. Our recent work combines our ultra-fast electronic skins and nervous systems with the latest innovations in vision sensing and AI for robots so that they can become smarter and more intuitive in physical interactions,” he says.

Enabling a human-like sense of touch in robotics could significantly improve current functionality, and even lead to new uses. For example, on the factory floor, robotic arms fitted with electronic skins could easily adapt to different items, using tactile sensing to identify and grip unfamiliar objects with the right amount of pressure to prevent slipping.

For the new robotic system, the researchers applied an advanced artificial skin called asynchronous coded electronic skin, which Tee and colleagues developed in 2019. The sensor detects touches more than 1,000 times faster than the human sensory nervous system and can also identify the shape, texture, and hardness of objects 10 times faster than the blink of an eye.

“Making an ultra-fast artificial skin sensor solves about half the puzzle of making robots smarter. They also need an artificial brain that can ultimately achieve perception and learning as another critical piece in the puzzle,” says Tee.

Another puzzle piece for smart robots

To break new ground in robotic perception, the researchers explored neuromorphic technology—an area of computing that emulates the neural structure and operation of the human brain—to process sensory data from the artificial skin.

As Tee and colleague Harold Soh, an assistant professor in the computer science department, are members of the Intel Neuromorphic Research Community, they say it was a natural choice to use Intel’s Loihi neuromorphic research chip for their new robotic system.

In the initial experiments, the researchers fitted a robotic hand with the artificial skin, and used it to read Braille, passing the tactile data to Loihi via the cloud to convert the micro bumps the hand felt into a semantic meaning. Loihi achieved over 92% accuracy in classifying the Braille letters, while using 20 times less power than a normal microprocessor.

Soh’s team combined both vision and touch data in a spiking neural network to improve the robot’s perception capabilities. In their experiments, the researchers tasked a robot equipped with both artificial skin and vision sensors to classify various opaque containers containing differing amounts of liquid. They also tested the system’s ability to identify rotational slip, which is important for stable grasping.

In both tests, the spiking neural network that used both vision and touch data was able to classify objects and detect object slippage. The classification was 10% more accurate than a system that used only vision. Moreover, using a technique Soh’s team developed, the neural networks could classify the sensory data while it was being accumulated, unlike the conventional approach where data is classified after it has been fully gathered.

In addition, the researchers demonstrated the efficiency of neuromorphic technology: Loihi processed the sensory data 21%t faster than a top performing graphics processing unit, while using more than 45 times less power.

“We’re excited by these results,” Soh says. “They show that a neuromorphic system is a promising piece of the puzzle for combining multiple sensors to improve robot perception. It’s a step towards building power-efficient and trustworthy robots that can respond quickly and appropriately in unexpected situations.”

Moving forward, Tee and Soh plan to further develop their novel robotic system for applications in the logistics and food manufacturing industries where there is a high demand for robotic automation, especially moving forward in the post-COVID era.

The researchers presented the findings at the Robotics: Science and Systems conference in July 2020.

The National Robotics R&D Programme Office funded the work.

Source: National University of Singapore

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alanafsmith · 6 years

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The most impressive law firm offices — 2019 edition

Imagine going to work in these buildings!

We asked over 2,000 trainees and junior associates at the leading law firms across the UK to rate the impressiveness of their offices as part of the Legal Cheek Trainee and Junior Lawyer Survey 2018-19. Is the place they spend their working days (and sometimes nights!) closer in resemblance to the Blitz or the Ritz? Ten out of over 80 firms surveyed received an A*, while 33 got an A, 28 a B and 12 a C. Here is a rundown of the best performers who bagged the top grade.

Allen & Overy

Instagram (@jup84)

Situated in the heart of the Spitalfields Market development on the City-Shoreditch borders between Liverpool Street and Brick Lane, Allen & Overy’s (A&O) London headquarters isn’t necessarily where you’d expect to find a magic circle law firm. But over the last couple of years A&O has turned this quirkiness to its advantage, with its Fuse lawtech start-up incubator suited perfectly to the location.

Inside A&O is everything you’d expect from a megafirm. The vast office — which resembles a business class airline check-in desk in the lobby — includes a free gym, dry cleaning facilities, a shop selling Bollinger and Tiffany jewellery and a roof top bar that’s popular with trainees and junior associates.

Read Allen & Overy’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Bird & Bird

Instagram (@ellacott7)

Bird & Bird’s London office is “brand spanking new with all the bling,” according to one insider. Legal Cheek can attest to the impressiveness of the building, located in an ultra modern new development between Chancery Lane and Fleet Street.

The views from the glamorous top-floor restaurant are a sight to behold, and more than make up for the handful of “teething problems” that have arisen during the firm’s first year in its new home.

Read Bird & Bird’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Burges Salmon

“I love it, I feel inspired every time I walk in the building” — you don’t hear that sentiment expressed of most workplaces, but this is how one Burges Salmon trainee describes their fantastic office.

Set around a central atrium, at the heart of which is the firm’s famed canteen (which is the current holder of Legal Cheek’s Best Law Firm Canteen gong), Burges Salmon’s Bristol headquarters is a mesh of light and bright colours. The effect of the clever design which encourages use of a large communal area is that lawyers from different departments get to know each other.

Temple Meads station is a two-minute walk away, which is very handy for trips to London.

Read Burges Salmon’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Clifford Chance

“We are the head lessee of a 31-story skyscraper, which should be occupied by a JPMorgan, not a law firm and we still operate over half of the floor space. It is pretty damn impressive. We have a music room, with a grand piano. We arguably have the best office of any law firm in the country,” reports one proud Clifford Chance rookie.

And then there’s the famous swimming pool. Nuff said.

Read Clifford Chance’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Gowling WLG

Twitter (@GowlingTrainees)

“Two Snowhill has ruined all other offices for me,” reflects an awestruck Birmingham-based Gowling WLG trainee of the firm’s “very smart, light and open-plan” new office in Britain’s second city.

“The views over London Bridge!” exclaims a London colleague, from the firm’s impressive gaffe on the South Bank.

Read Gowling WLG’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Kirkland & Ellis

So, as you may be aware, Kirkland & Ellis’ London office is spread over six floors of perhaps the most iconic building in Britain.

“Gherkin > Ritz” is how one of the firm’s junior lawyers puts it. “The Gherkin is a pretty cool building to work in — nice views!” adds another, with admirable understatement.

All of the firm’s employees have access to Searcys, the bar at the top of Sir Norman Foster’s masterpiece.

Read Kirkland & Ellis’ Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

The 2019 Firms Most List – featuring the Legal Cheek Survey results in full

Norton Rose Fulbright

“Probably the best front door view of any top City firm,” is how one of Norton Rose Fulbright’s young lawyers describes his firm’s office, and we’re inclined to agree.

The global firm’s London hub sits next door to City Hall on the bank of the Thames — looking across at the Walkie Talkie, the Cheesegrater and the rest of the City of London skyline.

A glass lift takes lawyers up to their offices from the building’s airy atrium. The last stop is the ninth floor client area, which opens out into a spectacular roof terrace.

But Norton Rose Fulbright’s office isn’t just for show — they care about the stuff behind the scenes too. “There’s someone who comes around and adjusts your chair/screens etc. for comfort which is great,” we are told.

Read Norton Rose Fulbright’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Reed Smith

Head up the blue-lit escalator in the Broadgate Tower, take the rocket lift to the 32nd floor and welcome to Reed Smith and one of the most incredible vistas in the City. “Have you seen our views?! :)” observes one trainee.

Floor to ceiling windows magnify the effect, as does a mezzanine set-up that allows lawyers to stroll up to the 33rd floor. This is more oligarch’s London penthouse than a law firm. What a place to go to work everyday!

Read Reed Smith’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Ropes & Gray

Nestled between Fleet Street and St Paul’s, Ropes & Gray’s gleaming London office lacks the iconic status and spectacular views of some rival firms, but everything inside it is just really good.

From the coffee to the desks to the loos, the 60 Ludgate Hill development combines 5* boutique hotel levels of luxury with a professional environment where everything a young lawyer could need is on hand. “Incredible!” gushes an impressed new recruit.

Read Ropes & Gray’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Taylor Wessing

Step out of the lift at Taylor Wessing and you’re greeted by big, bold floor-to-ceiling photos and artwork. The pieces are quite an introduction to this very un-law firm like office, which is full of nice touches — like TechBar, the firm’s very own IT helpdesk similar to Apple’s Genius Bar.

The jewel in the crown is the ninth floor terrace overlooking the Royal Courts of Justice and The Thames.

Read Taylor Wessing’s Legal Cheek profile in full, featuring its 2019 scorecard grades and firm review.

Peruse all of the firm’s new 2018-19 survey scorecards — including training, quality of work, perks and much more — via the Legal Cheek Firms Most List 2018-19.

The post The most impressive law firm offices — 2019 edition appeared first on Legal Cheek.

from All About Law https://www.legalcheek.com/2018/12/the-most-impressive-law-firm-offices-2019-edition/

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