#literally wrote about it in my fic i am so unhinged over this fucking moment

[me-sploh-rada-imas]

jutro po tebi mi diši [x]

[evansbby]

Am I the only one who thinks that Steve's reaction to Bucky locking omega outside was too relaxed and not that angry?? Like he was pissed yeah but ngl I was expecting him to be more mad and actually do something. Like, if someone locked my gf outside in the fucking rain while she was pregnant, u best believe that I'll murder someone. Steve's so much talk about being an alpha but honestly he doesn't really do anything to protect omega. And it makes me so mad bcs Omega is so used to being abandoned and so used to Steve not taking her seriously and justifying/excusing all the bullying he and his friends did. For once I just want someone to rage over all the mistreatment she's been through and just support and defend her. When I put it all like this, Steve sounds really awful 💀but the slow growth he's shown in the drabbles and even in poyt pt 4, really proves that he truly loves Omega even if he doesn't know how to express it in a healthy way. To end my rant, I just wanna say that ur such a good writer - the way u write relationships and the growth of characters combined with themes of anxiety and insecurity makes me wanna just frame poyt. Like, the scene where Steve mocks Omega by telling her of his cheating and then the bath tub scene???? Perfection. It literally made my heart drop in my stomach and I got this weird feeling in my stomach - yk the one where ur so in pain that u can actually feel it?

Also bestie who broke ur heart? The way you write is so beautiful and so devastating - its like you've been through seven divorces 😭 you write like you've lived and have let ur heart be broken.

<3.

TRUST ME I KNOW THIS. But consider: this wasn’t the climax of the whole fic, that I have other things in store, that I couldn’t have him completely lose it on Bucky in that scene. You guys need to trust me on the writing process. I deliberately wrote it the way I did. I KNOW his reaction was more subdued but just trust me! Also, had Steve gone full rage mode and completely beat Bucky up that night… would we have gotten the bathroom scene or would omega have been too worried about Steve? It would’ve shifted the focus from her to them two and she wouldn’t have had her moment. Writers need to shape their plot to fit the next scene, which is one of the harder parts of writing too.

Also, Steve didn’t know omega was pregnant at the time. Also, Steve was more concerned about his omega freezing to death so he had to prioritise her over doing anything to Bucky in that moment. Please understand that I consider what I’m writing and I realise what I need to give to you guys at what moment, and what I need to hold back on bc it’s better for the story as a whole! Please understand that anything given to you is intentional, just like anything held back is intentional too!

Apart from that, LMFAOOOO I’ve actually never had my heart broken! Sometimes I wish I did, because I feel like it would make my writing better! I’ve mentioned this before, but I love daydreaming about really really sad things—so writing all that is made easier bc I already make myself cry when I daydream about sad stuff lmfaooo (I realise this makes me sound unhinged af). But really, Steve himself is based on a lot of fuckboys I’ve spoken to or my friends have spoken to (not so much now, as I wouldn’t put myself through that now… but back when I was a teenager and didn’t know my worth and let assholes like that walk all over me! A lot of Steve’s gaslighting is a direct influence of IRL fuckboys!

[grittyreadsfic]

hello my friends, one singular person asked for this weeks ago so i’m here with my most unhinged rec list yet: tk and nolan.

now, this one was hard to reign in, so i really didn’t. this pairing had maybe 230 fics in the tag when i first started reading hockey fic, and it’s now over 900, and i’ve read far too many of them, and that makes it so hard to parse it down. so i just...didn't!

so with that said, please enjoy so you want to get into tknp: a beginners guide to a classic case of idiots to lovers

i told myself that i couldn’t rec an author’s entire body of work but then i remembered this is my blog and i do what i want, so i did some consolidating. here’s a list of the quintessential authors for this pairing, you can start at any of their profiles and pick any of their fics at random, and it’ll be one of the best ones for the pairing, hands down.

therainbowsedge: i’d start with the summer camp fic, or the sex toys one, as both beautifully capture the true idiots to lovers nature of this pairing, but just top tier writing all around

manybumblebees: the wedding fic is so tender and port stanley is a classic, but literally pick any single fic and you’ll have a perfect tknp fic. i’m not kidding

jamesvanriemsdick: their tknp fics in their series are some of the hidden gems of this pairing (the tk heartbeat fic makes me LOSE it) but the delaware fic or the seattle fic…..there’s really something for every mood

catchascatchcan: start with era of gods because i could write literal essays on how it’s some of the best fantasy worldbuilding i’ve ever read, but then just read everything else on their account, including non tknp fics. you won’t regret it

hackysack: ao3 user hackysack has written one of two timeloop fics that i absolutely adore, and i thought about just calling that one out in particular, but all of their work deserves the attention

canary: nothing to prove was the first tknp fic i ever read and i was immediately hooked. all of their fics are a good starting place for the pairing, and just really give you a feeling for the pairing

and now, for the fic recs!

to be, despite it all by smudgedfreckles

summary: or, nolan patrick’s gender thesis, by travis konecny.

why i love it: there’s not a lot ofo nonbinary characters in media, even in fic, but this fic’s treatment of nolan and their path to figuring out their gender just feels so real and made me feel so seen. tk’s characterization is also just top notch, and it’s just a super sweet story about two people who love each other

last ones standing by makeit_takeit

summary: If you’re committed to finding your future spouse, reads the last line of the ad, and are ready to look at yourself and your love life in a whole new way, apply now.

At the bottom of the ad there’s a link, and Travis finds his finger hovering over the screen, lip still caught between his teeth.

“I mean,” he says very reasonably, speaking out loud to his empty apartment like some sort of possibly-crazy person, “just applying doesn’t mean anything. Maybe I just fill it out, and see what happens. It’s not like I’m really gonna get picked to be on TV, come on.”

He snorts out loud, just to show his apartment he hasn’t lost his grip on reality or anything; he fully understands how ludicrous that would be.

Then he clicks the link anyway, because yolo or whatever.

why i love it: what part of a married at first sight fic doesn’t make you want to immediately dive right in? the concept is fun, the execution is absolutely flawless, and it captures their dynamic so well while letting it develop naturally

motivation by connectknee

summary: Kevin knows when to back off, the article said. He knows just when to shut up and leave Patty alone, something Travis has never known how to do.

why i love it: the thing i love about this pairing is that tk is loud and in your face, and nolan’s more reserved, a little quieter, a little harder to read. this fic does a really great job of exploring how tk could feel like maybe he’s just a bit too much and is one of my favorites in terms of miscommunication

a tenderness grows by rusesdeguerre

summary: Nolan wouldn’t say that landing a job as the Philadelphia Flyers’ psychotic and probably clinically insane mascot was a childhood dream of his. Maybe tangentially: playing pond hockey in –30°C weather and pretending to be Sidney Crosby is practically a rite of passage when you grow up in Manitoba. That, and experiencing the distinct displeasure that is thousands of mosquitoes sucking your blood out when your father drags you on a father-son camping trip into the backwoods of the northern Canadian Prairies.

why i love it: this was the first fic i recced on this blog, and i stand by that decision. a fic where nolan is not only not a hockey player, but is in fact the person in the gritty suit? absolutely perfect, and so charming from start to finish

meet me at my window by springsteen

summary: Travis has lived in Philadelphia for a few years now, long enough to know there isn’t a major city in America where superheroes don’t destroy an entire city block trying to save humanity or whatever. He can deal with all the super-shit, but Travis did not sign up for getting woken up from a deep sleep because some fucker’s trying to break in through his window.

(5 times the super-villain known as "The Cat" breaks into Travis's apartment, plus 1 time Travis invites him in.)

why i love it: there’s a lot of things to love here, but the concept is just absolutely one of my all time favorite aus ever. it’s fun and charming and the perfect glimpse into a world where heroes and villains exist, and what it’s like just to be a run of the mill kind of guy existing in it. tk and nolan’s back and forth in this make it so engaging, and it’s such a top tier fic

body’s in trouble by cloudsandpassingevents

summary: “Oh, sorry,” someone says. “Didn’t know anyone else was here.”

Nolan freezes, then turns around very slowly. When he looks up, Nicklas fucking Backstrom is standing behind him in a hoodie and baggy sweats, holding the biggest bag of Swedish Fish Nolan’s ever seen in his life in one hand.

“Uh,” Nolan says around the pop tart between his teeth. “Yeah.”

What the fuck, his brain helpfully supplies.

why i love it: from nolan’s inner voice, to the way the author explores all the dynamics within the team, to the way they write the unexpected but actually, it kind of makes sense friendship between nolan and backstrom, is just absolutely fantastic. there’s a lot of moments that circle back and build on each other in a way that really just makes it super compelling

rhizomatic foundations by lighthousetowers

summary: Twenty days after he moves in with Kevin Hayes, twenty days – three months, five months, depending on how you look at it – after not talking to TK, TK shows up at the front door with a plant the size of a basketball in his hands.

TK grins. "Patty, meet Reginald." He lifts up the plant. "Reggie, meet Patty. He's going to be your new - caretaker."

"What the fuck," says Nolan, not moving a single muscle.

Or: That Nolan can hear the plant talk might as well just happen.

why i love it: this is probably my favorite magical realism fic just about ever. it’s fun and charming and a little weird, but in the best possible way. there’s such a wonderful narrative in it, and lighthousetowers always has such beautiful writing, and it really shines in this one. the dialogue and nolan’s characterization are also part of what set it apart for me as one of the best tknp fics

in the dark of any town by mengetpegged

summary: If the voice has an accent at all, it’s a flat prairie Canadian, with none of G’s French-Canadian softness at the edges. But mostly, the accent is just ‘pissed off,’ which TK believes is a default setting for ghosts.

“Who are you?” TK asks, and he doesn’t like how strained his voice sounds, doesn’t like the tinge of anxiety tinting the rise of his question. He tries to regulate his breaths—in through his nose, hold, out through his mouth—but it feels like he’s not getting enough oxygen, which makes him panic even more.

“Someone with a fucking migraine, dickhead,” the voice says. “So keep the lights off and shut the hell up.”

(or: Nolan Patrick, Hotel X Ghost)

why i love it: i’m usually not super into ghost fics, both the spooky kind and the nonspooky kind, but this one is a rare exception. it’s charming and fun and tender and it’s got some of, in my opinion, the best characterization of tk and nolan in any fic. the way the author writes their dynamic and their dialogue is just unmatched

lets_make_this_moment_a_crime.mp3 by honeydripping

summary: Travis meets Nolan at a Midtown show in 2002 when he punches Nolan in the face. He can’t help it, “Like A Movie” just goes off.

But he does feel guilty about it.

or

TK and Patty work at a bakery together. They go to punk shows to pass the time.

why i love it: idk if anyone asked for an early 2000s emo/punk/alt au but wow! i sure am glad it exists! really the vibes of this fic, as silly as that sounds, are absolutely unmatched. i love the structure with the music, the development of their relationship, and just everything about how the author wrote the setting (there’s this whole thing with tattoos in it that makes me feel absolutely insane)

you’re ripped at every edge by you’re a masterpiece by conformityissuicide

summary: “Ugh, look, this yoga teacher has it out for me, man. And I can’t go back there without at least having some of the basics down. I’ve got to win this battle.”

“Yoga isn’t really something you win at,” Hartsy starts.

Travis cuts him off, “You can win at anything if you try hard enough.”

+++

OR that time Nolan's a grumpy yoga teacher and Travis realizes he wants to bone him and prove him wrong about Travis' non-existent yoga abilities.

why i love it: listen, if you want tknp, at least one of them has to be an idiot, and this tk absolutely captures the obliviousness i love to see in him in fic. it’s such a great characterization of them both and such a great concept (and even better execution)

you form a terror pack (and i’m aware of that) by dalmatienne

summary: “Can I help you?” TK snarks, both eyebrows hiked up in a way that has earned her many elbow checks to the ribs.

The chick looks down her nose, long thick eyelashes fluttering. Red-bitten lips part to blow a florid pink bubble and TK can smell the chemical sweetness when it pops.

“Yeah,” she says in this monotonous voice that seems almost at odds with her bubble gum and neon skates. She jams her stopper into TK’s thigh again, literally inches away from where it’d really hurt. “Tie ‘em.”

why i love it: to be honest, i generally don’t read rule 63 within hrpf, but this one is just absolutely knocks it out of the park. the concept (i fuckin’ love roller derby), the characterization of nolan, the pacing, the rituals, the tone of the entire fic, it’s just all around a perfect read from start to finish

thrills and grills by bitter_leaf

summary: Travis can’t even begin to wonder what he did in a previous life to incur the wrath of this fucking cook. Travis thinks he’s a nice person, doesn’t conduct himself in any way that could be considered particularly dickish, and unless this guy has some sort of issue with hockey bros or people from the boonies, he’s not sure how he started shit without even knowing.

__

Patty has a vendetta. Travis just wants to eat his eggs in peace.

why i love it: honestly this is the enemies to lovers fic i’ve been waiting for. i remember seeing the reddit post when it first went viral and thinking it would make such a great fic premise, so stumbling across this one was just so wonderful. super engaging and fun and so hilarious to read!

nothing but room for you by fightingfuries

summary: When his agent tells him he’s going to be traded to the Devils, Nolan isn't sure how he feels about it. Might be easier if he was going somewhere farther away, like California or fucking Florida. Somewhere sun-soaked and foreign. Someplace so different from Philadelphia that he can forget he ever played for the Flyers, forget everything that happened there.

Or Nolan fucks up, gets traded, gets his shit together and falls in love. Not necessarily in that order.

why i love it: i cannot stress to you how much i love trade fics, and this one is one of my absolute favorites. the trade to the devils-so close to philly, still, but there’s more to distance than physical miles-was such an excellent choice and the split timeline adds so much to the narrative, and the emotions are real and messy and complicated in the best way

a couple of runaways (i’m glad you stayed) by overturnedgoal

summary: The person in the video he’s watching is super annoying. Some obnoxious holier than thou granola type who keeps talking about their environmental impact as if they aren’t driving a gas guzzler around, but the basic idea of living in a van, driving around wherever, camping all the time, just going hiking and swimming and seeing the whole country? It sounds pretty dope, honestly.

why i love it: i like to watch tours and conversions of vans/buses into tiny homes as a self soothing method, and this fic has the same impact that watching those do. it’s such a fun concept, and it’s so fuckin’ soft, and the dialouge between tk and nolan is just *chef’s kiss*

all candor and style in the crook of your smile by p3trichor

summary: It’s a photo of Nolan on his knees with someones’ fingers in his mouth, lips slick with spit. Travis flicks by it almost too fast and he’s only got seconds to decide if he wants to screenshot it, if he wants to just give up the ghost right then and there. Except Travis’s phone freezes momentarily and then the group refreshes, sidcros87, Bert59 and 14 others took a screenshot!

It’s gone before Travis even has time to process it and he already wasted his replay of the day on a stupid video of a stupid fish that Hayes caught.

Can you send me that screenshot Travis texts Bertuzzi before he can overthink it, his dick already stirring in his sweats. Tuzzi sends back the cry-laughing emoji and then the screenshot before Travis can be too annoyed at him.

Or, Nolan is being weird about Travis's break-up and TK is maybe not straight.

why i love it: i genuinely don’t think i have words for the amount i love this fic. it took me forever to actually read, but it’s absolutely one of my favorite fics, and it’s an absolutely riot to read. carter’s meddling and the presence of tyler bertuzzi both make it extra fun, in my humble opinion

[dragqueenpentheus]

Okay no one has to read this but i DO have to write it:

PYROC VS FATHER PAUL

Ya bitch needs an art break bc im getting angry about voices existing as i try to keep myself entertained. Today is NOT a god one for sinking into repetitive line work and that’s just about all i have on the table atm

SO! Im gunna do a little thinking about my little meow meows all fucked up by religion. Just a comparison for my sanity and interests. Pyroc is my baby i wrote him for the first time years ago. Five?????????? Whadda hell. Going on six.

ANYWAY john joined religion because of his trauma. His sister died and he felt lost. He was unmoored in this fishing village and looking for reason looking for hope. Hed had his heart broken and trying to make sense of tragedy on his own was totally beyond him. Thats why his interactions with riley in AA are SO good like. He knows that confusion and he knows the rhetoric that’s supposed to combat it. Only it dooesnt work for riley.

The same sort of thing happens for pyrc, only inverted. Loss urns him away from god and religion because its SO strong in his family and not only is he loosing trust in god, but his kin as well. He’s suspicious there’s mre they arent telling him, at the point of his fathers death. And he agrees to, on the surface, absolutely wholly throw himself in to being the second the family and the village need. But he’s keeping his treachery under wraps.

That’s one of the coolest things about father paul imo is like. That slow unraveling of what is. Frankly. An awful half assed plan, driven by fear and loneliness and desperation and dementia and love. Even VERY obvious things like. Taking down the newspaper photo of his young self ‘slip’ by him. I think, on some level, its DEEPLY intentional. He wants people to CHOOSE this. He wants people like bev. He wants people who see him and are in aw of him beating god. Of killing death. He wants to be worshiped and adored and for people to come to him willingly, no tragedy driving them to his arms.

Pyroc also wnats to be worshipped, but he ALSO wants to do the worshipping. He really longs for an element of almost????? But not quite??? Subjection?? He wants to be shown something and for a Great Voice to tell him, unquestioningly and unerringly that it is GOOD. Full stop. And then he wants to spend his life worshipping it. But this booko is an exploration of how….. no such thing exists. And more importantly no great voice exists either. There is nothing wholly good, nothing wholy evil. His lack of faith in himself once he becomes god is him starting to understand that as well. Thats on purpose baked into the lore. The starting point was ‘what if god was a position and in order to get promoted you had to be a murderer. No matter what’. He understands things are not wholly good, at that point. I onder how long it will be for him to realize they are not fully evil as well?

Bc pruitt does hm hm hm an interesting move. Where he takes something the narritve is very sure to communicate is EVIL no wiggle room just fact. Even if its driven by animal instinct its. Evil. And he makes it, not just good, but HOLY. And god i LOVEEEE that for him i ADOREEE that what a MOVE. Driven by desperation and dementia and relief and ‘if god saved me than maybe i can be good despite loving and sinning and maybe if i defeat god then i will be Thee Good’. SO sexy of him. Im really fascinated by his morality. He seems to have an understanding of the shades of grey in some respects??? But if he had a BETTER one with more forgiveness in his heart i feel like hed have left the church anyway after sarah was born??? Even if millie didnt ask him??? That might just be my own sensibilities creeping in but ….. like he culd have seen her on the weekends. He can do other jobs. Hes straight (??? Not totally convinced of this) he could have just dated her that makes me crazy. LIKE OBV HE HAD LINES HE THOUGHT THAT WOULD CROSS AND HE HAD INTERNALIZED THE CHURCH AND THE RULES AND SHE WAS MARRIED AND ECT ECT i know he couldnt have really but. Thye were straight. They coulda.

Im not gunna do fantasy homophobia bc i think its …………….. Boring. But i think some element of??? The vindlegaurd line MUST be passed along and for that particular rules must be applied. But thats also boring as hell :/ maybe i can work in my parthenogenesis lore?????????? I bet pyroc would love building that spell in any universe. That’s the sequal when he goes to magic university in helsin. But yeah i do like the concept that. Anyone can have a baby thru magic its just a time and energy commitment. Just a matter of wanting it enough together. Every baby is so deeply wanted and its mere existence is proof. Thats dope i love that. HMMM to be decided at a later date when im deeper into the story i think. I still havent figured out fully how and where and why orion is going to be invovled and if???? Pyroc and orion are even going to be romantic??????? Im torn im TORn…….

Thikns about john bonding w sarah over science and learning and starts wEEPING…. Like theres some surity beloved. Its just a matter of uncovering. I think sarah felt that same thirst for answers and hunted them differently. Her faith is in logic and science. I loveeee her god. Every scene w her and her dad absolutely RUIN me like!!!!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW LOVED SHE IS!!!!!! I hope at hte very end she saw the blood as the gesture of love it SO clearly was and not him trying to poison her. God i love that she spat it out. GOD. Thats about being gay, btw. Spits the religious offering that could save you across the gasoline soaked church floor like BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we as a collective should talk about the possibiites around sarah/erin more. Bc their defiance combined would be. Earth SHATTERING for crockett.

In the future pyroc gets a kid. Ever since that campaign where Enemy ended up playing his daughter im like. How did i NOT know this idiot wanted nothing more in the entire world than to travel it with his daughter. I dont care how or why hes getting a kid. Hed be so doting and awful abut it. He would need orion as a co-parent for the kids self esteem to be normal levels. thINKS ABOUT PAUL GETTING TO RAISE SARAH AND JUST ABSOLUTELY GASSING HER UPPPPPPPP HANGING EVERY DOODLE SHE EVER MADE ON TEH FRIDGE. BOASTING ABOUT HER SCEINECE PROJECT OT ANYONE WITHIN EYESIGHT EVEN THOUGH ‘WE K N O W JOHNWE WERE ALL AT THE SCEINCE FAIR’!!!!!!!!!!! Let these fuck ups be doting fathers im fucking begging. That scene where paul is like. You take ccare of everyone on the island sarah. Its more than being a doctor. You comfort them.

HM HM comfort is such a thing for Miss Bitch like!! He sees it as a Good Thing. He tries to bring it for riley by asking to hold the AA meetings on island ((also manipulation. Obvously also manipulation. I wouldnt have bene shocked if he was slipping the vampire blood into the coffee every meeting either. But thats just a theory. A game theory.)) ANYWAY he sees comfort as hly. The church gave it to him when he needed it. The angel gave it to him in the cave. Feeling safe and warm is HIGH on his list of priorities and what makes him hand over respect.

I think pyroc has lived a very comfortable life in SO many ways, but in none he. Activly recognizes. A key part of his character arc his him…. Opening his eyes to the world around them. Seeing the privilege he has and being like. Wait. This isnt Right. We have to change thi. And when no one agrees ti shifts to I have to change this. With Violence. A little revolutionary <3 it only costs the life of his whole ass family

Thats more fun comparison ground like…… paul is SO much about I know whats right and there is a cost but i AM ignoring it. Like HE KNOOOOWSSSS he knooooows he just doesnt want o See. I’m not sure if im going to surprise yroc with the ……megadeath of. His whole family. Or if it’s a choice he has to activly make. I think a choice makes it more compelling, more layerd. It has to be in the moment though, becaus ei think thats. A key difference between them. Pyroc wouldnt do it.. hed just leave hed peace out and do what he could in small ways. But he wouldnt do his big stand off with god. Hed shrink his goals in order to not hurt his family. Out of love?? Intimidation?? Some instinct wihtin him that balks at the idea of disobedience??? I think even he doesnt know. But i LOVE john becaue he jsut decides to lie. He closes his eyes and says i am being stupid on purpose. I think thats PERHAPS more compelling than good guy coward pyroc BUT!!!!! Thats who he is rip to ths little man. Cant change him now hes a whole ass child in my head. The PLOT i can change. Him….. not without massive character development <3

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MM set my brain on FIRE!!!! Im so glad nano is coming up. I love sharpening pyroc against the comparison of other AMAZING characters. Father paul hill my beloved millstone <3 anyway sorry to anyone who reads this its literally me unhinging my jaw and emptying my brain out. I had to write stuff that wasn’t novel or fic. A little character time down and dirty. I wil NOT be editing this love and light to future me trying to decode this

[debbiechanclub]

Hey so it’s been a minute! But I’m finally caught up with all things wrestling yay!

First things first tho absolutely obsessed with Adam Cole and the fact he just ignores the good brothers like 😘 love that! Kenny is unhinged I luv him and his brows! And the possible of miss Hannah coming back?!?! Best news ever honestly. Also Alex timeline and being possibly EVIL?WHEW I won’t know how to deal

Now TMHWMH chapter 5 was really in the dang feels! Love that they’re official but so sucky that Jay had to leave 💔 I am Torrance and Torrance is me! She’s just such a good friend who wants detail I love that.

Okay I rly feel for Riley tho!!! I’m not actually much of an ELP fan (sorry) but I think it’s so sad that how he found out but I’m glad Nellie was straight with him (unlike the Instagram story he saw) I can’t help but think he must be kicking himself bc it could have been him if his communication didn’t suck??

Torrance and Nellie tag team/stable alliance??? OBSESSED tbh bit rly sure why they haven’t thought of this before lol?

Okay sorry it was super short and delayed but I’m obsessed with wrestling right now for the first time in a very long time! I love love love your fics and literally have an attachment with all the oc’s you’ve created! Can’t wait for more!!!

(Also happy birthday Nellie!)

-🇬🇧

GB ANON! I was wondering where you were 😭 I'm so glad you're caught up and obsessed with all things wrestling! This ask has made my day! Maybe even my week!

I am very interested to see where all this goes with the "Super Elite," especially if they're gonna start getting into it more with Bullet Club like Adam teased 👀 Still getting used to him being in AEW, btw. I didn't even realize he'd come out to back up Kenny last night until they superkicked whoever they superkicked (I have a terrible memory omg).

But let me tell you about miss Hannah! I am over here like that Charlie Day meme trying to figure out how to bring her back. If I do, I definitely want to play into the whole AEW vs. NXT thing and her history with certain people in AEW. But I also wrote a tiny little moment between her and LA Knight that was in my head for some reason? SO WHO KNOWS. But the gears are turning.

And yeah, I really need to work on Alex's timeline. I keep opening the doc and then my mind goes blank 😑 But as much as I'm a whore for Kenneth rn I really wouldn't be surprised if she says fuck it and turns 🤣

And don't apologize, ELP definitely isn't everyone's cup of tea 😂 But I'll say... if you feel bad for him now, just wait until the next chapter 🤧

Again, I'm so glad to hear from you! It really brightened my mood! 😊

[softlass27]

Directors cut of One More Word and you Wont Survive 🙏

Gah, this fic is so long, but I shall try and break it down!

So the initial idea came from a brief conversation I had with @soft-husbands about how ridiculous it was that in 2018 the writers had Lachlan kidnap Rebecca (who literally no one cared about) instead of Robert, which would have been a much better storyline. Since I needed to write something for her in a gift exchange, I decided to do my own version of it!

These are the key points/main ideas that were the most important for me:

Aftermath

One thing I knew I definitely wanted to do – even before I’d really worked out the exact plot – was include a lot of the actual aftermath of the kidnapping, and really show how it mentally affected Robert (as well as Aaron). I didn’t want to write one of those fics where you just have the drama, and then maybe one scene at the end where everything’s suddenly okay again. Which, y’know, is what the Emmerdale writers tend to do. 🤷 

So that’s why the fic is literally divided into two halves – the action and the aftermath. And I loved writing the second half – looking at Robert’s mental state, showing other characters’ reactions, lots of communicating between him and Aaron etc.

I didn’t want Robert to just be fine straight away, I wanted him to take some time to settle back into things again, to go to counselling and to work towards recovering from what he’d been through. I kept it mostly quite upbeat and hopeful – I couldn’t bring myself to make it too angsty – but I did have Robert struggle to come to terms with what had happened to him.

On top of that, I wanted Aaron to be his rock. The writers never really gave Aaron a chance to be the strong one in the relationship, not for longer than a couple of episodes or so, and I wish we could’ve seen it. It would’ve been great to watch, but also a nice switch for Danny and Ryan (who would’ve both smashed it!).

And of course this was an excuse for me to write lots of soft fluffy husbands content, which as you all know, is my jam.

Lachlan

So in the show, I thought the writers did a good job of building up Lachlan’s psychotic tendencies. In late 2017, he did begin to seem quite scary, you could see they were building up to him properly snapping.

But then as soon as he actually did start killing people, he became kind of… meh. They’d done all this buildup to make him as deranged as possible, but from the Whites car crash onwards, his character lost all that great creepiness and just became a bit of a wet wipe. His killing of Gerry was completely lame, his kidnapping of Rebecca was rubbish and so was the aftermath. He spent most of his time flapping about what to do and obsessing over Belle, and honestly he became one of the most boring soap villains they’ve ever done. By the time he was arrested and went to prison, they’d lost so much momentum it was kind of a pitiful ending for him.

Maybe it’s because I watch a lot of crime stuff (both true and fictional), but I just wanted more. I wanted him to be terrifying, to be unhinged and scarily cold. And it made sense to me that he would really show this side of himself by kidnapping and torturing Robert. Robert’s been his number one enemy from the beginning – he hates him more than anyone and essentially blames him for every single thing that went wrong in his life. In terms of storytelling, it only seemed right that his final showdown would be with Robert and no one else. It’s what both characters deserved.

So that’s what I wrote. I did a big final “fight to the death” between the two, and I tried to make Lachlan this cold-blooded psychopath who got off on making Robert suffer as much as possible – for as long as possible. All those years of built-up resentment finally spilled out of him and it made him totally lose the plot. But at the same time, he was able to switch that off and act completely normal when he was with Belle. I tried to show this in a few scenes, like including a moment where he told Robert – his kidnapped victim – he had to go because Belle was expecting him to go for breakfast with her family.

I really enjoyed doing it, but at the same time I was terrified that the way I was writing him would seem ridiculous, like he’d come off as a bit of a silly pantomime villain. It seems to have paid off though, judging by peoples’ reactions, so I’m quite happy with how my Lachlan turned out :)

Chas/Paddy/Liv

I knew from the beginning that Chas, Paddy and Liv would all be on the “wrong” side of the story, so to speak. They’d be the sort of “lesser” villains, the ones causing conflict on Aaron’s end and in the second half of the story.

On the show, I never really believed that any of them actually accepted Robert as family after reunion 2.0, to me it seemed like Chaddy were just civil with him as long as he made Aaron happy. And I never bought into the whole “roblivion” concept during boyfriends era, so I was even less convinced of it in husbands era. I always found it shallow and fake on Liv’s end.

This was pretty much proved right by Chas, Paddy and Liv’s behaviour during the aftermath of Robert’s exit – all three of them showed their true colours and their true feelings about him very quickly. 

Considering every time things got rough for Robron on the show, Chaddy and Liv either turned on Robert or just acted like he never existed/meant anything and actively tried to push Aaron to “grow up” and move on from him, it made perfect sense to me to have them suspect the worst of Robert in my story. To assume that him disappearing meant that he’d done something wrong, rather than he was in trouble.

(Fun fact: the scene where Robert has that big showdown with Chaddy in the pub was actually one of the first ones I wrote. Ah, priorities.)

I wanted Aaron to be strong, to never doubt that Robert was in trouble and to unapologetically stick by him in the aftermath. I wanted him to stand up to Chaddy and to put Robert before Liv for once (judging by quite a few comments that I got, lots of other people did too, so I’m glad I went for it!). I also wanted him to make it very clear that his main family unit – his priority – was Robert and Seb, not the Dingles’ feelings. Anyone who disagreed with him could fuck right off as far as he was concerned.

By the end of the story, Aaron has very much allied himself with the Sugden family, that’s why we saw lots of him with Diane and Vic. I really wanted to call back to the “Who Shot Robert” era, where they both stepped up and rallied around Robert 100%, only this time with the bonus of Aaron being on their side, too.

Rebecca/Ross/Seb

I mean… this is quite self-explanatory, but I knew from the beginning that Rebecca would die and Ross would end up going to Liverpool miserable and alone. No happy ending for either of them because they didn’t fucking deserve it.

And of course, this would mean that Seb would stay with his dads where he belongs. I will never get tired to coming up with new ways for this to happen (just you wait for Aaron week).

The ending

Since I was writing this fic for the engagement anniversary gift exchange, I thought it’d be fun to include an actual engagement at the end of it. I hadn’t necessarily planned to make it another lay-by proposal, but when I looked at my story timeline (yes, I did make an actual timeline lmao) and I realised that the 4th December wasn’t very far away, I knew I HAD to get them back to that spot. It was only right!

So I’m probably in the minority here, but I’m not actually a huge fan of proposal 2.0. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice and super cute, but the whole “trying to propose to each other at the same time” gimmick just wasn’t really for me. I thought it was a bit unrealistic that they’d both separately just randomly come up with the same idea at the same time (I know, I’m sorry). And since we’d already had Robert do it the first time, I kind of wanted the second one to be totally Aaron’s thing, let him have a proper turn.

So I took elements of proposal 2.0 that I liked – the location, some of the dialogue – and took out the bits that I didn’t – Robert trying to propose, Aaron’s funfair lie (I’m sorry but that was just dumb), the jinx thing, other people (Chaddy and Liv) being so involved. Thereby creating my own perfect version of proposal 2.0 (what can I say, I am a self-indulgent girl).

I think in this universe, after everything they’d been through, after Aaron’s terror of losing Robert for good, it seemed right that he would be the one to do the asking. And because we know he’s a sentimental sod, it made sense that he would wait until their lay-by anniversary to do it.

[millennial-ring]

Haunted Chapter 26.5

Tobi sat upright in bed, back against the wall and laptop resting on her outstretched legs that were tucked under the blankets despite the summer heat. Her bright green hair was pulled into a messy bun, stray pieces of hair falling out to frame her face. She kept having to push them behind her ears because they annoyed her, but she made no effort to properly pin them back. It was 5pm on her day off, and she still wore her pajamas, not bothering to change into real clothes despite her and her roommate’s plans to get Chinese before her roommate had to work. They’d both slept all day, exhausted and overworked.

 Tobi’s hands hovered above the keyboard uncertainly, the exhaustion showing on her pale face. The bags under her eyes –which she usually liked having, since they gave her a “dead inside” look without having to apply make up at 7am- were much darker thanks to the 18 hours she worked in the last two days. She was attempting –and failing- to write the next chapter of her fanfiction, Haunted. She kept writing one or two sentences, then deleting them. Now she stared at the blank word document like it was mocking her.

 “Fuck this,” she muttered, setting the laptop aside and getting out of bed. Her little black cat, Salem, chirped in protest at being woken up, and Tobi proceeded to get distracted with petting the cat for a good 5 minutes before she managed to make her way to the kitchen.

 “Drink of champions,” she said to herself as she pulled out her third Vanilla Coca-Cola and cracked open the can. As she took the first few too-big mandatory gulps she recalled that this very drink had inspired her Fanfiction.net username –VanillaKokain, because the sweet vanilla-laced beverage was just as addicting as that white powder.

 (In the real world, not fanfic self-insert land, the Real Tobi takes a second to retrieve her own Vanilla Coke from the kitchen before resuming the crack fic.)

 Though she really hadn’t done much but write maybe two paragraphs, collectively, she considered taking a break and making something to eat. She wasn’t particularly hungry, but she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had anything to eat, so she set down her Coke and grabbed a box of Kraft Mac and Cheese – the new Star Wars shapes, because fuck you, the shapes taste better.

 As she was turning to grab a pan from the cupboard above the sink, she spotted two people who were definitely not her roommate or friends, and dropped the box of BB-8 shaped noodles.

 Sitting there on her couch among the dozens of decorative pillows were none other than Malik and Bakura; more specifically, the versions of the two characters that existed in the Haunted universe. 

Malik wore his beautiful golden hair up in a ponytail, his outfit consisting of black skinny jeans and a white-to-lavender gradient tank top that Tobi had wanted to draw him in again. Bakura, meanwhile, wore his baggy red hoodie and grey sweat pants, his body surrounded by the weird, other worldly shimmering that Tobi always worried she didn’t describe very well.

 The two men stared at Tobi, and for a long moment, Tobi stared back, too shocked to do anything but try and control her breathing so she didn’t scream. At length she picked up the can of Coke and checked the ingredients. “Did they start putting actual cocaine in this shit?”

 “I’m pretty sure cocaine doesn’t make you hallucinate after one hit.”

Tobi shook her head, her eyes wide and an unhinged smile working its way over her lips. “No, you’re right, of course, I knew that. So this must just be a hallucination brought on by exhaustion and sleep deprivation and where is my phone I need to call chef and ask for some time off because I obviously need a damn vacation if I’m starting to talk to hallucinations of my two favorite YuGiOh villains!” The more she spoke, the more shrill her voice got, and at the end she took a deep gasp of air after not taking a single breath.

 “Oh, we aren’t hallucinations, sweet heart,” Bakura purred, and Fanfic Tobi didn’t know whether to laugh or cringe at the pet name. Real Life Tobi thought it was hilarious, though, so she left it in there.

 Tobi stared at them a moment longer before suddenly grabbing a ghost shaped salt shaker and chucking it at Malik. It hit him solidly in the shoulder and spilled salt everywhere.

 “Ow! What the fuck!” Malik rubbed his shoulder and stood, shaking and brushing the salt from his clothes.

 “Holyshityou’reREAL.”

 “Yeah, Bakura literally just said that.”

 “But- how- I don’t- you’re fucking fictional! Okay, this has to be a dream.”

 “We aren’t a dream, either.”

 “No, you totally are, because I have weird dreams about anime characters all the time.”

 “But in how many of those dreams do you acknowledge it’s crazy to see two anime characters in your house?”

 Tobi opened her mouth, a finger raised in her customary “Well, actually,” pose. She closed and opened her mouth a few times, trying to think of something to say, but in the end she gave up and pinched herself.

 Fuck. Definitely not a dream.

 Malik smirked as the reality finally, finally dawned on Tobi.

 “Okay, but how, and why, are you two fuck heads in my living room.”

 Bakura snickered. Malik pulled something from his pocket and held it out for Tobi to see. A glowing golden cube floated above his palm, one corner sheared off and replaced with a YGO-styled Eye of Horus.

 “Ah. Yes. The Fanfic Device. Of course.” She paused for a moment, then frowned. “But how the hell did you get that? You guys are totally AU. There’s some stuff in your universe that’s based on canon, but the Dimensional Cube shouldn’t exist at all. Neither should any of the other Items.”

 Malik nodded, tossing the cube from hand to hand. “You’re right, it doesn’t exist in our universe. We stole it from our Abridged counterparts when they entered our universe.”

 “Your Abridged counterparts? I never wrote- oh shit. A Way Home.”

 “Precisely.”

 Tobi shook her head, raking her fingers through her hair and managing to pull more out of her bun. “No way. I just reread that fic a few days ago and YGOTAS Malik and Bakura never visited Haunted. It wasn’t even referenced.”

 “It was off screen.”

 “That’s…convenient.”

 “Right? Anyway, point is we stole the Cube and used it to travel to this stupid self-insert crack fic you’re writing like it’s fucking 2005 again.”

 Tobi rolled her eyes. “Why? Why would you come to this fic when there are a thousand others you could go to?”

 “Because we needed to talk to you, and this is the only YuGiOh fanfic where you exist, aside from Where’s The Tan.”

 “We don’t speak that name in this house.”

 It was Malik’s turn to roll his eyes at Tobi’s dramatic reaction. “Believe me, I want to forget it exists, too. Thank god you only got three chapters in.”

 “Anyway,” Bakura cut in, moving to stand beside Malik. “We’re here to tell you to get off your lazy ass and start writing our story again.”

 Malik nodded in agreement. “We’ve been stuck in fanfic purgatory for five months, Tobi. Five months!”

 “And you left the last chapter on such a cliffhanger, too!”

 Tobi raised a brow. “It wasn’t that much of a cliff hanger.”

 “My clothes just disappeared. You were definitely implying I passed on. But even we-“ he motioned between himself and Malik- “don’t know if I did or not because you haven’t even started the next chapter!”

 “I’ve started the next chapter,” Tobi said indignantly.

 “Yeah, because writing two sentences and then deleting them is definitely starting a chapter.”

 “Hey, it’s an emotional chapter! And how do you not know what happens when I’ve outlined up to chapter 30?”

 “Because that doesn’t count as a fanfic. We can’t travel to it and see what happens.”

 Tobi grumbled something under her breath and rubbed her forehead. “So you stole the Fanfic Device from Sitabethel’s Abridged-based Verse and traveled to this specific fic to chew me out for not updating?”

 “Yup.”

 “Oh my fucking god that’s so stupid.”

 “You’re the one writing it.”

 “What?”

 “What?”

 The three stared at each other again in silence before Bakura scoffed.

 “Come on, how hard can it be? Just write the rough draft, at least! That technically counts as fic, and we’ll be able to travel to it and see what happens.”

 “If it was so easy I wouldn’t really be struggling so much to write this chapter, would I?”

 Bakura opened his mouth to retort, but Malik shushed him.

 “Just do what you can, Tobi. We’re just anxious to see if we get a happy ending or not.”

 Tobi winced. “I mean…Do you want spoilers? Because I can tell you what happens.”

 Malik shook his head. “I’d rather experience it.”

 “Same,” Bakura agreed.

 Tobi sighed and picked up her forgotten box of Mac and Cheese, brushing a tuft of white cat fur from it. “Alright, I’ll see what I can do. But I really am exhausted from work, so I don’t know how soon I can get it done.”

 “Like I said, just do what you can. Just don’t keep us waiting another five months, yeah?”

 Tobi huffed and smiled. “I’ll do my best.”

 Malik nodded and activated the Fanfic Device. A projection of various fanfics appeared in front of him and he began scrolling through realities in search of their own universe. Tobi watched, fascinated with the variety of AUs. While he was looking for the Haunted dimension, Tobi spotted a familiar scene and tensed.

 “Wait, go back!”

 Malik looked at her oddly but did just that, scrolling backwards. The scene on display was one of Malik spooning Ryou, while on the other side, “Amir” was spooning Bakura. Bakura and Malik exchanged confused looks, but Tobi was grinning.

 “The Only Human universe! I’ve been obsessed with this fic forever!” She turned to Malik, giving him a puppy dog eyed expression that would have been adorable in an anime or cartoony style, but in the real world where shit was 3-dimensional it looked awkward. “Can you please go there and see how many chapters it takes until that Marik get truly comfortable with Kek and Ryou?”

 “You mean, how many chapters are left until the big conspireshipping lemon?”

 Tobi just grinned.

 “No.”

 Tobi’s face fell.

 Malik flipped forward to their own dimension, the screen displaying Malik’s empty bedroom, exactly how she’d always imagined it. He tilted his head to the portal. “Come on, Bakura. Let’s go relive chapter 25.”

 Bakura grinned. “I thought you’d never ask.” Without ceremony he slipped into the portal and disappeared.

 Malik took a step forward, paused, turned back to Tobi. He looked troubled. “I…don’t want spoilers, but… Is there actually a happy ending?”

 Tobi chewed her lip. “There’s a lot of pain coming your way but…technically speaking, yes. There’s a happy ending. For everyone.”

 Malik smiled. “That’s all I needed to know.” With that he stepped through the portal and, just like that, Tobi was alone again.

 Tobi rubbed her forehead, glancing down at her half-finished Coke. With a frown, she grabbed the can, chugged the remaining refreshing beverage, and slammed the can back down onto the counter. She took a few steps towards the bedroom, determined to actually properly begin that rough draft, but her growling stomach stopped her.

 “Okay… First, Mac and fucking Cheese. Then I’ll write some angst.”

[bomberqueen17]

tlj spoilers so there’s a cut here. i saw the movie so i’m really gonna try not to talk about it out in the open because i know i’m shit at tagging but i’ll try, i’ll really try. just-- apologies in advance if i fuck up.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ok #1 my Rey characterization in my fics is not... right but not wrong either

but my KYLO, holy shit, I swear I had him down verbatim, so I’m sort of pleased with myself.

#2-1000 OH MY GOD they gave my 155,000-word backstory Kes Dameron Superhero Origin Story to the Ticos. oh my god the Ticos are from a 35-years-later Xicul. As I was writing down the story of the Oaxctli I was like, this is too much, it’s over the top, but-- NOPE there it is!

Kes has like a thousand adoptive kids from planets like that. oh my god i already wrote that. i already wrote that. that’s what yavin iv is. it’s all the refugees he could gather to himself. oh my god.

and #3 I-- I literally know Rose Tico, I used to skate with a girl that had her face, her voice, her mannerisms, would absolutely have verbatim said “I want to punch this whole city in its face”-- I was so deeply unnerved the whole time because fuck, I know that chick. Down to her teeny hands, oh my god she had teeny hands, I fucking know that chick. She’s both precious and terrifying. Those tiny hands would wreck your entire life.

She would absolutely call someone silly with her last conscious breath. (OK full disclosure I’m mashing up two former leaguemates into this memory, I’m sure I am, but it was so uncanny anyway I’m sticking to it.)

#4 BB-8 SAVES THE FUCKING DAY

Did you all know what was in that last, last chapter of the epilogue of Home out in the Wind that I just couldn’t get pushed out?

The revelation of what database BB-8 has downloaded into eir memory. Sure, ey’s got an old Rebellion data dump in there, but ey also, well, ey was on that FO shuttle for a while. Ey knows more stuff. I don’t think I can manage to bang that into shape but just know, it’s all in there, in that little spherical self. 

WHEN EY BLOWS OFF EIR SHOOTER THING AFTER FLINGING THE TOKENS maybe best thing ever

except for the moment, the only thing I was spoiled for in this movie, when Poe gives BB a fucking belly rub in his excitement at seeing em again

#5 I loved Cranky Luke and also him being a tricksy asshole was pretty perfect, I thought.

oh also #6 IRONING SCENE OMG now we know how the FO maintains their uniforms.

I think the reason I loved this movie instead of hating it like some of my dash is that

#1 I’m just not that invested in Kylo, he’s face value for me, he’s what he says on the tin, I get it, I have no particular moral stance; he’s the antagonist, and of course he gets a lot of his cachet from the fact that of course he wasn’t born evil and isn’t a cardboard cutout, he has a complex backstory, great, the people I care about have a lot invested in him but I honestly don’t, one way or another, and I’m willing to watch his story go whichever way it goes, because I’m invested in the people he affects. I don’t Need Him To Be Punished and I have faith the narrative won’t Reward Him And Be A Bad Example For The Children. I think he’s a great antagonist and Driver plays him fucking brilliantly, and I loved his dynamic with ever-more-unhinged Hux (Gleeson is having a goddamn blast, isn’t he), and I loved his dynamic with Rey, which maybe was supposed to be sexual tension but when she was like “do you have a towel or something can you cover that shit up ugh” and then slammed the door in his face at the end fucking yes, I loved it. Misunderstandings with Luke, what a phenomenal supervillain origin story! It’s so good. I loved that. 

and #2 I’m really willing to let Hollywood Heroes be Hollywood Heroes and it’s All Just Totally OK when people do fucking batshit-stupid things in battle because space battles never make fucking sense and they’re never realistic. Did any of that shit make sense with the goddamn bombers? No. Not at all. Was Poe an asshole? Yes, but within Hollywood boundaries. We fix that shit with fanfiction. It is never right in canon. That is not how it works. My personal supervillain origin story is that I spent my whole childhood with my combat-veteran father scoffing loudly as the soundtrack to every action sequence in every movie ever. That’s how it works. I’m not fussed. That is how Hollywood works. It’s like, kind of descended from Greek theater, where there’s formulas and you know this guy’s a Hero even if what he says doesn’t really... kind of... exactly... mean that... and there’s a chorus that does the strophe and the antistrophe and again, it’s not really about what the actual line is but how it makes you feel, so, I could give them that. I wasn’t delighted about it, but I consoled myself with Oscar’s story about Leia slapping him like thirty times to get the take. I’m not nuts about it at all. But it didn’t Rend My Soul the way it seems to have for a lot of other people. No, my Poe wouldn’t be such an asshole, but they should’ve fucking told him what the plan was you’re going to get people being crazy if you don’t, and anyway it made a good story and it’s Hollywood they always fuck that sort of thing up. 

Also #3 LAURA DERN THAT WAS THE MOST INTENSE SPACE ACTION SEQUENCE EVER WITH THE SILENT KAMIKAZE THING OH MY FUCK 

It was the best audience reaction. The screen went silent and the audience all went, softly, ohhhhh at the same time. It was fucking beautiful.

(This is the only part that made my dude mad though. He just came off a Twin Peaks relaunch bender, he is all about Laura Dern, and he was like, fuck, why did they kill her???? She could’ve replaced Carrie Fisher and we could’ve had it all! And, I mean. He’s not wrong.)

(#3A PAAAAAAAAIIIIIIGGGGGGE)

And #4 you could basically do anything you wanted in that movie once you had BB-8 save the day like fifty times, holy fuck, that whole thing. My heart. I love that fucking Beep, I sure do.

And like. To sum up. #5 I don’t really care that much about the fine details of what’s in canon. I’ve only seen TFA once. I wrote 155,000 words about Kes Dameron and Shara Bey before I actually bothered to read the tie-in comic that is the entirety of their canon representation. I need a rich source, and I got it. There’s a lot of meat there and I can get what I want from it. 

So many women in cockpits, and people of color, and diverse people-- I saw older people too, not just young people, not just Hollywood-pretty people-- there were some aliens, too-- there were whole worlds and rich visuals and all kinds of things. There were good story beats and great emotional moments and. And and and.

I don’t care what morals we were supposed to get from it. I don’t care if the villains were too villainy or not villainous enough. 

I got my broad strokes. I’ll fill in what details I like.

I’m sorry, I just don’t really care that much, as long as my source material is broad enough and gives me the rough sketch of a world I want. 

I probably have more but that’s plenty I think.