#literally wrote it all (in my head)

[rendevok]

“Take my hand” pages 12-15

1 - 2 - day 3 - 💙free day❤️ - 4

[l3xdrigo]

The concept of Zero

Inspired by someone commenting that like the number zero, Vertin or the role of the timekeeper itself is a concept.

The concept of zero being that it is the placeholder for writing numbers, it is the origin but it is also the one that is merely a concept to get more of an understanding or guide to natural numbers to integers. It is the invisible line from the positive to negative, it is the middle ground.

The concept of zero in a more mathematical sense is that it is a additive to other numbers to make them bigger (ex:100) but the number zero itself is a non existent and empty number, like an equator, it is an imaginary line that helps us grasp the locations and placements of continents. Both are imaginary, both are just man made concepts to guide us to a better understanding.

Vertin's soul number is zero, she is unchanging and is considered one of the middle ground between humans and Arcanist. In a sense, she is a guide to most, but once the storm reaches its end, she will become nothing more than a concept, the role of the timekeeper was created for the very purpose of recording the beginning and ends of eras and braving the storm to one day create the immunity for it. The moment that there is no need for the timekeeper anymore, either the storm ending or finding a full reliable immunity towards it, the more people that gain the ability, the more Vertin's role becomes more of the ordinary.

The role of the timekeeper will soon fade and become only an invisible line, the origin of how it first began, on how civilization reached the immunity of the storm, and how the threat of the storm ended. In the far future where the rain doesn't rise, the term timekeeper and the name "Vertin" will be nothing more of a concept to what once was a catastrophic phenomena that hinder the progression of time, a subtle reminder of how she guided the freedom of humans and Arcanist out of the grueling storm, and into a world where the rain falls and the sun rises; Vertin is the concept of zero.

[clanborn]

if sparkpelt wasn’t gonna get nightheart’s arc it should’ve gone to hollytuft instead i want to live in her head (<- person who has a special background character attachment to hollytuft specifically)

[sctumsempra]

going insane and i need to infodump about severus snape’s patronus being a doe for a second. i personally don’t think it changed, or lily necessarily influenced it- i think it’s always been a doe, casting the charm in dumbledore’s office was meant to show that he and lily were supposed to be viscerally aligned with each other and he knows he fucked it up and that’s why he’s spent almost two decades trying to atone for what he did. on a representative level, the doe symbolizes peace, protection, and innocence, and no three words could possibly represent severus snape more.

all he wants is peace: a peaceful life for himself, a peaceful world, a peaceful school. everything he’s ever done has been to create as much peace as possible. some of it can be considered misguided from a black and white moral standpoint, but it’s what created peace for himself. for example, aligning himself with the purist views of his housemates made him less of a target for bullying- he’s not a pure blood, and they’d know, and having powerful ambitious students on your side instead of alienating yourself from everyone means you have at least a semblance of protection from harm some of the time. he becomes a double agent for dumbledore to help bring about peace from voldemort’s reign. it might not have been peaceful for him per se, but it was still with the intention of peace in some form. he tries to give other people peace- he takes a vow with narcissa to protect her son because she’s crying and scared for him, and it gives her peace. he doesn’t throw draco under the bus to save his skin when voldemort accuses him of being the elder wands owner, giving draco and narcissa peace even if they weren’t aware. it’s either for himself, or for others.

he’s the most protective teacher at the school- would mcgonagall have thrown herself in front of three kids facing a wolfsbane-less werewolf? would flitwick take the burden of an unbreakable vow to protect draco malfoy from voldemort? would any of the DADA teachers have run towards the sound of a screaming woman? he consistently vows to protect everyone and everything he can. and, leading into his innocence, when he realizes he’s only been protecting harry for him to die, it breaks him.

he’s not necessarily innocent in that his hands are clean and he’s never done anything wrong in his life, but he’s innocent in that he’s naive. he trusted voldemort enough to be drawn into the death eaters, he trusted dumbledore enough to be manipulated into his bidding. it feels like he forgets that dumbledore screws him over constantly, dangles things in front of him and takes them away, makes crude assumptions, and has left him to fend for himself essentially their entire relationship. the times that dumbledore abandons him- physically, mentally, metaphorically- he gets very upset. like it’s new information to him that dumbledore treats him like shit. from an abuse perspective, he probably had to spend his childhood mentally erasing what his parents and home were like so he could feel safe and normal, so the constant ebb and flow/back and forth of his and dumbledore’s relationship is familiar to him. when dumbledore draws him back in with whatever method, he’s right back to behaving as dumbledore wants, doing what dumbledore wants, and believing what dumbledore believes. the times that he remembers that dumbledore doesn’t care that he let the guy who’s tried to kill him or assault go, or that dumbledore thinks he wants only lily saved because he desires her romantically or sexually, or that dumbledore has only been using harry and, by extension, him (as he’s been the one protecting harry) to play the long game of destroying voldemort are the times that he’s emotional in the books. he cries, he’s vulnerable, he raises his voice, he begs and he pleads and he defers. he doesn’t do that any other time, other than when he found harry watching his memories. he trusts and he forgives (or he forgets, or he feels safer pretending he doesn’t care what’s been done to him/how he’s been treated.) a doe is perfect for him. reducing it to something like tonk’s patronus being changed as soon as she’s in a relationship with lupin or that it’s only a doe because of lily evans completely erases his entire way of thinking and behaving and being.

also, in a self indulgent addendum, it’s a very feminine animal, and severus is consistently aligned with femininity. hermione calls the half-blood prince’s writing feminine. he wears his mother’s clothes as a child, and lupin encourages neville to dress his boggart as his grandmother. he’s quiet and docile and tries to be non-violent unless he’s pushed to his breaking point, and even then it’s screaming or crying or getting animated. he’s emotional and frequently painted as hysterical. he gets the “woman character treatment”: to the average viewer who doesn’t think about him long enough to understand otherwise, he only desires lily. the consensus is that he chases her, he only thinks about her in the context of attraction. the line about looking at her greedily is constantly understood to be lust, and not a desire for love or a desire for a peaceful relationship for once in his life (and a relationship that only ever seems to be platonic at that). he even backs off and all but disappears from her life when he’s asked to, while james (the one with the stag patronus, the classic triumphant male character) harasses her and pursues her and behaves in a way that makes his son decades later wonder if he forced lily into a relationship. he’s behaviorally aligned with what femininity in the eyes of misogyny is supposed to be. he keeps to himself, he’s quiet, he sacrifices every bit of himself for students and coworkers and superiors and expects nothing in return, he pushes his students to be the best they can. (i’d say nurtures with my whole chest, but as the narrative comes from harry, we can’t really be sure. in my view, his house won the house cup for several years in a row which was only interrupted by dumbledore awarding a fuck ton of points to his gryffindor prize pony, his classes are seen as high performing and advanced by even dolores umbridge of all people, he only tries to punish students albeit a bit violently after several attempts of getting them to understand why what they did was wrong, which seems to be pretty nurturing in comparison to what other teachers allow and do). whether he’s trans, or had been influenced more by eileen, or he was intended to be deeply complex and contradictory and that meant that he had to have these traits, or any other of the multitude of reasons for snape being an inherently feminine character, it’s there. his patronus wouldn’t be a stag, he wouldn’t be anything overbearing and he wouldn’t be anything aggressive. it doesn’t make sense with his soul and his personality and his life. the peaceful protective innocent/naive doe, however, does.

[thedeathdeelers]

a choice

“and so choose, luke patterson,” the voice boomed around him. “a reset, back to 1995, leading you to a life of fame and fortune, or,” the voice paused for a second, then continued. “or the 21st century, always on the brink of success, but never within your grasp.”

“will i be able to keep making music?”

“yes, but never to the same scale as what could be in 1995.”

“will i be able to keep the ones i love?”

“yes, you will have your family no matter your decision.”

“but julie.. what about julie?”

“if you choose to go back, her memory of you will cease. she will only know you as a famous musician, born decades before her.”

“but she’s family!”

“choose, luke.”

“i-“

“fame or julie molina. you must make your decision.”

“i choose…”

//

the voice fades, and the pitch black room he was in disappears — suddenly there’s a flash of light, and luke is blinking furiously, eyes struggling to readjust.

it takes him a moment, but his vision starts clearing, little pieces of the space around him coming into focus.

his journal on the coffee table, alex’ kit pushed towards the back and reggie’s jacket draped over the couch — the studio just like they left it.

luke continues to scan the space, heartbeat starting to pick up when he sees no hints of julie anywhere — no piano, no coloured gel pens, no hair-clips nor plants.

did the voice make a mistake? was he back in 1995?

was he…never going to see julie again?

the panic rises while luke is rooted to the spot, unable to move.

what had he done? what was happening? why-

“luke?” he hears from the doorway- the voice of an angel.

he spins so fast he loses his footing, but barely has time to recuperate before a small mass of curly hair and blurry limbs come hurtling towards him, slamming into his body.

his arms reflexively come up, holding her in place and pulling her into him.

“julie,” he breathes out, his heart beating a mile a minute.

“you’re- you’re really here?” she chokes out, her slim arms tightening around his neck.

“i am,” he says, disbelief still evident in his voice. “i am.”

julie molina.

choosing julie meant choosing music — it was as obvious to luke as breathing.

she was music.

and luke knew that no matter what, he will always choose julie molina.

[plan-3-tmars]

Is this what Happiness is?

- hey so I haven't seen an interpretation of the bar scenes in Half that I fully agree with, so I wanted to throw my own two cents out there into the void and pray that it makes sense !!!

so, in the bar scenes in Half we see what I interpret as a hangout with old friends (or, hangout with old friend + his wife.) These scenes used to be the biggest piece of evidence for the cheater theory, but now that that's been debunked by the man himself, I have a new way of looking at them

~ before I go any further, I just wanted to say that I'll be calling the brown-haired woman whiskey for simplicity's sake

In this scene, Kazui turns to look at Whiskey, saying the lyrics:

"laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?"

With my guess (cuz that's really what it is there's no evidence for it) that Whiskey is the Bartender's wife i think this scene is Kazui being conflicted with what he's been told is true, that marrying Hinako is "true love", versus what he feels is true, that marrying Hinako has brought distance into their relationship.

He looks at Whiskey, a woman happily married, and wonders why his relationship with Hinako isn't like that.

~ shout out to @prisoner-000 for the following screenshot

in this post he points out that Hinako and Kazui's rings are silver in Cat, not gold like they were in Half, yet Bartender's ring colour stays the same.

For the sake of this writing I'm going to go with the first meaning they put out, that Bartender's ring is gold because his marriage is genuine.

But wait!! I hear you ask. This is Half and Kazui's ring is still gold in Half!! EXACTLY MY FRIEND!!

Kazui's ring IS still gold in Half because at the time of these scenes he's still fooling himself that this relationship is good, that he will eventually garner real romantic feelings for Hianko.

"laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?"

Remember this lyric that plays during the Whiskey -> Hinako scene. You know what other scene in Half this lyric reminds me of?

laughing together, side by side,

this distance in our relationship is misleading me,

is this what happiness is?

He's beginning to doubt if what he believes is true, he's beginning to believe the feelings telling him something's wrong (and remember, the scene right after this one is when he confesses (?) his secret to Hinako) ARE infact true, and that maybe the logic he's been following for so long has a couple holes in it.

I think these scenes are meant to show Kazui gradually realising that his relationship with Hinako will not work out. It just won't, no matter how hard he tries.

He's able to laugh together and talk with Whiskey because she's his friend, yet he can't do the same with his own wife? Even though, according to his gold ring, their relationship is supposed to be real and true and genuine?

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

everybody stay with me im shifting back into speculation & analyzing mode, this time about everybody's favorite pair of besties. ill put this under the cut for everyone's sakes

and please, take all of this with a Hefty grain of salt.

so ive been... thinking about a thing. a maybe-possibility. which if this has some merit, the part of me that loves characters having a good time and feeling good feels is screaming in fear. but the louder part of me that loves angst and hurting characters is rubbing its little fly hands together.

short version: i think Barnaby is going to emotionally distance from Wally, if not outright grow to resent him. maybe temporarily, maybe not.

full version: *cracks knuckles* strap in folks. so.

first of all, an entire chunk of Barnaby's bio is dedicated to his character relation to Wally. everyone else only has one-off lines dedicated to their relationships to other neighbors - even Frank & Julie just have single sentences about each other (note that they're described as "partnered with" and "depicted with" respectively. more on that soon). even Wally's bio has his Barnaby mention tacked onto the end of his first paragraph instead of being its own dedicated section

and then there's their character designs - their bios explicitly point out that they share characteristics; color schemes, hearts on their soles, similar outfits.

they were made to be best friends. literally. this quote is what made me start turning this theory over in my mind (sourced from @ /theneighborhoodwatch's collected & absolutely fascinating livestream trivia)

it appears that Barnaby literally did not have a say in whether or not he and Wally are friends. their bios even say "illustrated pages note that they were best friends multiple times." they have to be best friends.

which brings us back to Frank & Julie. they briefly reference each other in their bios, but they aren't described as best friends. it's incredibly likely that they were meant to be a romantic couple - i briefly covered that theory in this post (dont read the first one i was going insane) but they managed to avoid that. Frank and Julie defied the script and chose to be best friends instead.

and then in the trivia document a few more character relationships are briefly touched on, like how Howdy considers Barnaby a close friend, and Sally considers either Barnaby or Poppy as her closest friend, etc.

everyone else seems to be choosing who they're close with. they're forming their own opinions and dynamics and relationships. & its interesting that Barnaby is stated for both of these - as if implying that he may return the friendship feelings, or at the very least he's developed enough of a relationship with them to earn their affection

Barnaby and Wally... i doubt they ever got that. they were best friends from the start, no development, no choice. it's written into them.

and then there's how their relationship has been portrayed so far. i believe i saw an ask where Clown stated that Barnaby is very polite to Wally, which struck me as odd. have you ever had a polite relationship to your best friend? have you ever seen best friends be polite? i'd be surprised!

best friends mess with each other! they tease and rib and roast! what is a best friend for if not mutual tomfuckery?! jesting around? playfully pushing boundaries? a Polite best friendship... that's a straight up oxymoron. no such thing. that sounds boring and exhausting.

not only that, but the fact that Barnaby is often used for Wally's painting segments, and is the go-to guy for teaching Wally something new, is kind of concerning. it gives me the vibe that a big part of Barnaby's literal reason for existing is to be Wally's friend & guide.

which would make the fact of him being described as polite to Wally make sense. of course he's not going to push their relationship or try to deepen it - he's forming his own dynamics with the other neighbors. with Wally... it's already established. that is how they are with each other. that is what they are to each other.

and it's not like Wally can be the one to introduce nuances. i don't mean that as a slight or anything - he's just the way he's been described and the things stated about him that make me think that he wouldn't really... know how to? it just wouldn't occur to him. he probably thinks his and Barnaby's relationship is what a best friendship is and is how it should be.

but they have to hang out. they have to refer to each other as best friends. and while i believe that Wally does wholeheartedly think that they're best friends, close as can be... i doubt Barnaby feels the same. like - yes, he probably does care about Wally. everybody likes Wally.

but it's gotta be frustrating for Barnaby, especially as time goes on and he becomes more himself as a person over just being a character playing a part. it probably stunts his relationship growth with others, since his ~best friend spot~ is already taken and who would want to encroach on that? especially since its taken by Wally mcfuckin Darling?

their friendship might become less of a role and more of a responsibility. Barnaby might grow to feel obligated to stick with Wally as his "best friend". someone invites Barnaby to hang out and/or help with something? sorry, he has to pose for Wally's painting. Barnaby is trying to do his own thing? sorry, Wally is knocking on the door and asking for help with something.

i wonder if Barnaby ever hopes that Wally will go to someone else, or feels relief when he does. and then does he feel irritation/guilt over that denied hope or that granted relief? then does he get angry at himself for those emotions?

how would this effect how he treats Wally and acts around him? this confusing muddle of emotions and this strange growing resentment for his painfully earnest friend who only ever means well, if he means at all.

it makes me curious whether or not this theory has merit. and how this could come to a head. what would Barnaby, in this situation, do if/when he discovers that they're puppets on a set, and he's literally written to be Wally's bestie while everyone else changed their scripts and chose their own relationships.

personally, i don't think he'd be happy, and i doubt he'd handle it well.

[pup-pee]

happy l8 valentines day ((if u saw me post this NO U DIDNT))((srry))

im feeling sick i dk krhgkiblhlb y am i thping thsi again

the og thingigiiii

[ammoniteflesh]

I finally got around to ep1 of Vows & Vengeance. DA spin-offs sure do continue to have, uh, variable quality.

(I'm trying to find a nice way to say 'the writing was hilariously bad' and failing lol)

[bumblingbabooshka]

Tuvok’s Kids: Sek, Elieth, Varith & Asil

[rpfisfine]

i need every single one of my boy boy followers to experience aleksa's old couchsurfing profile right this instant

[unnamed-atlas]

Finally finished sweet tooth s3. Having incredibly mixed feelings

[mecachrome]

question: is the salary for race engineer really 60-70k per annum? why did i think they get paid way more???? 😭

sorry idk why this answer is so long i'm putting it under the cut 😭

but hahaha uk engineering salaries are generally fairly low afaik, for ex in the usa entry level swe salaries at big companies are easily 6 figs but i've heard that in the uk 40k is a pretty decent base pay? (sorry if i sound like an idiot @ uk followers 😭 or if you yourself are british anon then i apologize as well 💔) obviously that's in pounds but purely numerically indy/nascar engineers probably get paid a lot better than those in f1 because you have to contextualize benefits and col and so on... this is probably off-topic sorry moving on

but in general it's worth noting that f1 is an environment that preys on the sentimentalism of its applicant pool (i.e. "passion job"); it's much easier to exploit employees who care deeply about the product they're involved in because it's something they've dreamed of their whole lives and manufactured their entire academic journeys around attaining. f1 is both extremely stressful and pays comparatively poorly for a majority of its mechanics and engineers — when you think about the strain of travelling, trackside personnel (just as an example, ofc only a small # of engineers travel) often arrive earlier and stay later than the drivers & their wages are low because teams know there's enough competition that highly qualified candidates will continue applying regardless. so you basically need to be 1) willing to work for not very much 2) willing to work a shit ton of overtime and 3) willing to sacrifice your social life to hack it. you'll hear a lot of anecdotes from people who were like hm i thought i wanted to work in f1 but i realized it wasn't worth the stress and just got a normal cushy tech job for twice the pay LOL

anyway idk how much gp specifically makes though very senior engineers could definitely be higher than that, but i'd be quite surprised if it was That much more than 100k? (just for base pay ofc) esp in cost cap era... 🥲 i could be talking out of my ass though!!! that's just the general impression i've gotten hsdflkh

[sade-alicious]

im writing a short fanfic rn and i am SO CLOSE to being done i just need to fill in a conversation its so ANNOYINGGGG😭😭

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[willowser]

honestly if i had a bigger brain, i would write an entire android shouto fic