#liv has no impulse control

[positivelyruined]

In line with @sonics-atelier’s post.

Why did Tamlin lock Feyre in the house?

Well,

A) There’s a violently dark high lord in their midst who can appear and disappear at will. Warding off his home was much easier than doing it to his country. Because Prythian is the world, Spring is the district. Which, by the way, that makes Tamlin’s place as a high lord equivalent to a king.

B) She fights the mating bond so hard that she continually puts herself in danger. Reckless, impulsive, and used to running on the road not taken — that sounds like Feyre to me. Feyre as she should be refuses to be defined by anything or anyone but herself. This, also, is why she balks at marrying Tamlin. Even without Rhysand’s interference — her character should struggle with the idea of marriage.

Is it of a lesser force than a mating bond? Yes.

Can it still be used to control someone? Yes.

C) It still comes down to a bottom line — no one should be imprisoned for someone else’s crime. Yet, is a lock on a door true imprisonment? To lock your door is to be intelligent, aware, and realistic. It is an acknowledgement of the danger, without deprivation of the freedom to open it.

When you love someone, what do you do when they are in danger? You stand in front of them. You fight for them. You give them a safe place. No, this is not done perfectly, but it is from a genuine care for another person’s well being. One of my favorite TV relationships that executes this trope perfectly is Liv and Major, from iZombie.

They are both constantly sacrificing and compelling the other to be safe. They fight for what is right, even when they disagree about how it should be done. Their relationship hangs in the balance until the end of the story. When their world goes to war, they find their unique roles in it. Sometimes, they fight on what appears to be opposing sides. Yet, they are made for one another. In the end, they sit down and realize that they would have never made it through the experience without the influence of their partner. In deep respect, friendship, and genuine care — they continually strive (together and apart) to improve society, fight for justice and fight for a world where they can be together.

I never used names in that paragraph. Doesn’t it scream Feylin?

Can’t you say that Tamlin is constantly sacrificing to keep Feyre safe? Including separating himself from her when his magic becomes too strong to control.

Couldn’t you say that Feyre compels him? She refuses to go out a quitter. She runs into danger, facing unknown consequences, because he is in danger.

He respects her desire to be wild.

Yet, he knows her deep, inner need to be safe.

She respects his ability to put others above himself, but she knows that secretly all he needs is to be given care, affection, and kindness.

Together, they were meant to have built up a Spring Court that is a home to the wild people, the refugees, and the abandoned.

Because in knowing what it is like to be completely alone — they continually return to one another. When she has pushed herself too far, she runs back to him for safety. When he has given too much, she takes the burdens off his shoulders and reminds him that if you cannot care for yourself…you cannot care for anyone else.

Together — they are two of the most dangerous fairies that you could cross — because they balance one another. Tamlin and Feyre were designed (by accident) to compliment one another as a team — a badass, “I would let the world burn if the fire didn’t touch you,” team.

In public, they are iron and steel. In private, they melt for one another until every locked door and broken fence in their hearts can mend.

That is what SJM destroyed in ACOMAF. That was the sheer potential that this couple had. That is what makes ACOTAR a stand alone book.

Instead,

The dear and dead to us author decided to replace her characters with shallow imitations of what they could have been.

So, let’s be real. Feylin was destroyed by the simple fact that ACOTAR has a sense of right and wrong. ACOMAF obliterates that narrative.

[ambersrequel]

back on the subject of making shit up abt the scream characters specifically 5cream bc,,,,it really will put you in Situations. started focusing more on fleshing out liv (w bestie mine bc we threaded yvieliv for a minute) ages ago bc i was Down Bad and wanted her as a crush for my 5cream oc and so now it's like. someone so much as says they didn't fw her/found her boring & or annoying or just wildly mischaracterizes her in a fic (to ME. we are ignoring that she has so little to go off in canon bc irdgaf) and now i'm pissed off bc it's like... well clearly YOU just don't know miss liv "#1 kim petras and hey violet stan" "tarot and crystals girly" "cute cat video enjoyer" "fruity situationship haver" "running the woodsboro hot topic like the navy" "bisexual on the low" "world's worst impulse control" "pulling iris's hair in a fight over vince behind the corner pocket pool hall" mckenzie as well as i do.

[rahleeyah]

Tonight’s SVU was sooo good! The acting! The directing!

And I gotta ask, what are the parallels to EO that you saw? I was too into the episode to figure it out myself. Brain not working lol.

It was less specific parallels and more lines that directly connected what was happening to what's going on with EO. Like starting at the top, you've got Brad talking about how he doesn't want to live without his wife vs like. Liv is so terrified of losing Elliot she won't kiss him. Brad talking about how he was more in love with his wife after the dementia than ever - how he was less restrained, more impulsive, more forgiving vs Olivia who has been so tightly controlled and is still holding on to her hurt. Olivia talking to the perp about how we build walls around ourselves and those walls hurt us. "Everyone deserves a second chance." The entire king of the moon concept, that as a boy he isolated himself to keep himself safe - like Olivia has done her entire goddamn life - but opened himself up to love, and that love was the single most important thing in his life. The fact that the central relationship is this decades long love story built on friendship; the desks!!! The two desks pressed together facing each other!!! This is just what I remember after one watch I may be able to call out more specifics later but like the entire Journey is there.

[thejademountaincollective]

BOO!!!

We’re very new to tumblr so I hope we’re doing this right

Hi there!! We’re the Jade Mountain Collective (Or The Breached SYS or the Reputation system (we’re basically just collecting system names LMAO) )

Uh this is just a little intro thingy but we don’t plan to post much on here but maybe some art sometimes!!

Here’s some about us

• We’re an absolute wings of fire enthusiast and honestly. If you say one thing about it we will never. Ever. Stop talking /hj

• please use tagtones with us (if you interact) Becuz it’s so hard to tell tones ☹️

• we use “☹️” as a sad joke like we’re jokingly sad (aswell as 😨,😃,😰 and any angry emoji)

• fictkin! Our biggest kins are Snowfall (Wings of fire) and Vanny (FNAF SB) !!

•aswell we’re a therian and otherkin, our theriotypes are Norwegian forest cat, Arctic fox and our otherkins are a sandwing and water Na’vi

• LIV LAUGH LUV TAYLOR SWIFT 🫶 (uh I might have hyper fixated a little too much on her cuz uh we have a factive of her.. LMAO /lh)

• system of (maybe?) 25 !!

•hyper fixation is wings of fire but just fixation is FNAF- we are very (very) confused about the lore but it’s all good cuz we got the basics!

• we practice witchcraft!! We’re like a year or two into it and still have alot to learn but it is something we do!!!

•I am so normal about Vanny and Vanessa. So normal you wouldn’t believe how normal. So very normal. You couldn’t even guess that I wasn’t normal about them because that’s how normal I am. And this little paragraph is so normal and it’s not normal to do this. Because I’m so normal about vanny and Vanessa /silly /j

• we do regress sometimes, depends on the alter for little age but mostly it’s 1-7!! (Both voluntary and involuntary)

• Cassie (an alter) has made her own blog! I’ll tag it here for him :3 @l1ttl3-c4ss13

Frequent fronters are…!!

Vanessa- FNAF SB fictive- memory holder- she/celeste/flash- age 23 -🔦

And uh.. another Vanessa - FNAF movie - she/her/they - age 19-25- 🌌

Cassie- FNAF SB - co-host, anger holder,little - he/she/him/her - 4-6 age range - 🌈

Onyx/Gwen - no source - host, persecutor -star/ vamp/jelly/stars/shine -🌧️

Vanny- FNAF SB - protector in general - void/she/ insert name -🔪

Gwen- into/across the spiderverse - unsure of role- she/web/paw- 🕸️

DNI BELOW

Thanks so much for the banner Vine!!

Proshippers

Endo “systems” and supporters

Transphobes, homophobes etc

Ableists

NSFW pages

Pages with no pfp, bio and no posts will be blocked (assuming your a bot)

Christians (they just make us uncomfy! Nothing against their religion just not great experiences!!!)

If you’re uncomfy with swearing- this is just for your own comfort!!! We tend to swear a lot and have no impulse control so it comes out automatically

I think that might be it for now so uh yippee!!

- Vanessa (🌌) and Onyx (🌧️)

[watanabes-cum-dump]

My commandant OCs (noteworthy) relationship dynamics with PGR characters bc I’m bored

I’m actually just procrastinating, I’m not bored. Also his name is Qiu Jia but I think you know that if you follow me. I talk abt him too much.

Lucia - Sister Qiu is just chill with her like that. Like they can just be around each other and even thought it’s silent it’s not awkward. They just make each other feel at ease. Not much to say, but it’s like they can read each other’s minds. Well I guess they kinda can with the mind link? Yeah, overall they’re just comforting prescience’s to each other.

Liv - Little sister who can do no wrong Qiu is a bit protective of Liv, just because he knows how kind and timid people like her are sometimes mistreated. Especially after Survival Luceum, they’re glued at the hip. Liv also trusts him a lot, she’s his impulse control, while Qiu helps her to assert herself more. Liv is also very particular about his health, and she’s trying to help him with his nicotine addiction.

Lee - Annoying younger brother Yes they fight about who is older because “technically Lee has been alive longer but is stuck at eighteen” but Qiu will not hear any of it and he thinks of himself as the older brother. They absolutely will not stop insulting each other (while covering Liv’s ears ofc) and constantly take jabs at each other but issok it’s all in the name of love. Qiu takes the brunt of Lee’s insults because he finds it funny and usually just laughs them off. Lee regularly calls him a slut/whore though and it irks Qiu depending on his mood that day but he makes no point to stop it bc it is funny sometimes.

Nikola - Oh boy it’s complicated Nikola is Qiu’s dad but not really. Yes he never intended to hurt Qiu the way he did but Qiu still ended up as… Qiu so it is what it is. Would never admit it, but Qiu so desperately wants to call Nikola his father, he’s just hesitant due to everything Nikola has done. Likewise, Nikola would like to be able to call Qiu his son, and he’s always wanted the best for him but unfortunately he never asked Qiu what he wanted. Qiu stopped talking to him after he joined Kurono and they only made up around the time of Survival Luceum, but even then their relationship is still complicated.

Hassen - Cool uncle I have literally never seen Hassen and Nikola apart in the main story?? Are they Iike partners or smth they seem to know each other pretty well. Anyways that being said Qiu was around Hassen quite a bit growing up, and of course Hassen is super chill and good with kids so he doesn’t mind seeing his partner’s kids every once in a while. Watches Nikola and Qiu’s relationship fall apart from the outside and is quite concerned about it. But overall, Hassen calls Qiu “kid” and is very casual with him when he’s not on missions.

Roland - it’s complicated romance edition Yes Qiu and Roland have tried to kill each other numerous times but neither of them really care??? Qiu still thinks Roland is pretty hot and they have some cute enemies to lovers tension. Roland is kind of flirty with him, because that riles Qiu up when they fight. They’re both super fucked up and are aware of it but it is what it is and they violently want to fuck. They’re actually kin of obnoxious together I’m not gonna lie, if they were an actual couple they would be so annoying, constantly touching and flirting with each other. They give Lee the ick. I would go deeper into their complicated relationship and feelings towards each other but that deserves it’s own post they are both so *squeezes them*

Wanshi - Nap buddies Qiu is also perpetually sleepy and often sleeps to avoid his problems (just like me) so it stands that they’re buddies. Thing is, Qiu’s sleep schedule is so fucked up that he gets like three hours of sleep and random naps throughout the day. Wanshi who is you know, also a doctor finds this mildly concerning but helps him take it one step at a time by at least helping him nap properly. They’re both pretty chill with like touching and lying on each other so it’s not uncommon to find them both sleeping in a literal pile on Strike Hawk’s couch or something.

Camu - “You’re not my commandant” Camu gets Qiu’s bad vibes in spades they fucking hate each other. Camu resents Qiu for “replacing” Ash (former commandant of GR) who helped Camu a lot. Likewise, Qiu doesn’t like him because he’s not exactly subtle about it. Also, given Qiu’s back ground in Kurono Camu hates him even more. Camu just brings back up Qiu’s inferiority complex and feelings of being an inadequate replacement and it makes them avoid each other a lot. Honestly, they’re both kinda volatile so they get under each other’s skin.

Anyways that’s that I’m melting in this heat and I will be thinking of my silly little train wreck of a SKK OC *evaporates*

[nico-di-genova]

Hiya, how are you doing today?

🚗 CAR — does your oc have a driver's license? can they drive/operate any automobiles/machinery besides cars?

✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person?

🎮 VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

💍 RING — does your oc have any piercings? do they want any (more) piercings?

🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

📚 BOOKS — what level of education has your oc most recently completed/is currently in (GED, undergraduate, grad school, phd, etc)?

🎻 VIOLIN — does your oc play any instruments? what is their skill level (beginner/intermediate/advanced/virtuoso/etc)?

🩹 ADHESIVE BANDAGE — does your oc have any physical and/or mental disabilities?

🩸 DROP OF BLOOD — what is your oc's blood type?

Please and thank you!

Ahhhh, I’m doing great, I get to talk about my blorbos now!! You sent so many, thank you!!! 💙💙💙

🚗 CAR — does your oc have a driver's license? can they drive/operate any automobiles/machinery besides cars?

Josh: Just has his drivers license, but he hates driving with a passion. He lives in NYC most the time, so it’s easy for him to walk, or skateboard where he needs to go. Or he’ll Uber.

Keegan: has their drivers license and their motorcycle endorsement. They’ve gotten used to riding with Josh around, but they’re wary of letting anyone else ride with them on their bike because it takes them a minute to get used to the weight/balance.

Liv: Drivers license, but like Josh she never uses it. Her girlfriend doesn’t have a license at all. So they are also both frequent Uber users.

Elijah: Dad of the group. He’s been driving Josh around since first getting his license at sixteen, so yeah he has his drivers license. He’s also helped drive the tour bus a few times, but only because he’s lowkey a control freak.

✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person?

Josh: thought he would like traveling more than he does. When the band was small at the beginning he didn’t mind it all that much, but now that they hardly ever stop going he’s getting a bit exhausted by it all. He’s definitely becoming a homebody

Keegan: if they weren’t in the band they’d be backpacking across the world. They love getting to see new places, and meeting new people. Their apartment is barely decorated and they’re crashing at Josh’s place half the time anyway, so they definitely prefer travel.

Liv: couch surfs, ties herself to nothing. She is the type of friend to impulsively book plane tickets at 1:00 a.m. because she wanted to try an ice cream store in Oklahoma.

Elijah: You physically have to pry him off the couch. This man is married, and a father, he wants nothing more than to be able to stay at his home for longer than a week. He is tired, let him rest. Absolutely not into traveling.

🎮 VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

Josh: Writing, reading, entertaining the ever present existential dread.

Keegan: bike rides, baking, (kissing Josh) knitting

Liv: skateboarding, drumming, taking care of her and her girlfriends rapidly growing collection of plants.

Elijah: sleep, sleep, and sleep. But also playing with his kids, piano, and wine and paint nights with his wife.

💍 RING — does your oc have any piercings? do they want any (more) piercings?

Josh: yes, and yes! He has his ears pierced, nose pierced and he’s joked to Keegan about getting his nipples pierced. It is maybe becoming not a joke.

Keegan: also yes! Their ears are pierced as well and they wanted a septum piercing, but people keep telling them it hurts, so they get psyched out.

Liv: Yes, and absolutely always. Multiple ear piercings, nose piercing, belly button piercing. She practically lives at the tattoo parlor.

Elijah: just one ear pierced, and only because he took Josh to get his ears pierced for his thirteenth birthday and Josh convinced him to get matching earrings. His wife thinks he would look good with a helix piercing though, so he’s considering.

🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

Josh: he’s got his dads initials on the inside of his left wrist, written in his hand writing. And some cheap $13 doodle of a cat on his left forearm that he got on Friday the 13th. He doesn’t want anymore.

Keegan: No, and they’re not really looking to get one.

Liv: surprisingly only one, crossed drumsticks on her right forearm. She got it at the same time Josh got the cat.

Elijah: yeah, he got tattoos to cover his top surgery scars. And because he’s got religious trauma it’s something like this:

Anytime the band does magazine interviews they’re always wanting to photograph Elijah shirtless. He’s always firmly putting his foot down, and he’s nice in interviews, but the second they request he gets real closed off.

📚 BOOKS — what level of education has your oc most recently completed/is currently in (GED, undergraduate, grad school, phd, etc)?

Josh: high school diploma. He was taking a gap year and working on the whole music thing. Luckily it worked out, because he had zero interest in going to college.

Keegan: high school diploma and one semesters worth of a marketing degree

Liv: Half an English degree. Dropped out the second Elijah offered her a spot in the band.

Elijah: English degree, and he was working on his masters. He was the TA in Liv’s English class, which was how he met her.

🎻 VIOLIN — does your oc play any instruments? what is their skill level (beginner/intermediate/advanced/virtuoso/etc)?

Josh: yep! He’s the guitarist for the band and also does backing vocals.

Keegan: they play bass occasionally and they’re the lead singer!

Liv: Drums, and she’s stupid good at it. Also played triangle in middle school band.

Elijah: played piano growing up, morphed into keyboard.

🩹 ADHESIVE BANDAGE — does your oc have any physical and/or mental disabilities?

Josh: the limit does not exist. Jk, but also yes. Anxiety, depression, adhd, bipolar, he simply is going through it. Half the time it’s untreated too, so he’s just constantly rawdogging life like that “this is fine” dog on fire meme.

Keegan: anxiety. Like picking at the skin around your nails until they bleed, thinking twenty steps ahead, panic attack levels anxiety. They’re chill tho.

Liv: ambiguous disorder. Probably most definitely adhd.

Elijah: also undiagnosed, but something is for sure happening. He’s never really had time to deal with anything though because his focus has always been Josh.

🩸 DROP OF BLOOD — what is your oc's blood type?

Not a clue, but I’ll tell you Josh and Elijah certainly don’t share a blood type or else someone would still be alive.

[crossover-enthusiast]

Freddie and liv cut the sleeves off of Al l their shirts together and CALEB has to be the impulse control

HAHAHA

Yes exactly

[we-pay-for-everything]

You seem to have a much better grasp of Elena's character than I do so I would love to hear how you'd describe her, what you see as her best and worst personality traits, and so on. I agreed with your anon who called her a serious person but then also agreed with you when you said that that was a response to trauma and loss and not necessarily her real self! Also so curious which Hogwarts House you'd sort all the main characters into! Thanks for answering people's TVDs asks with so much thought - this is so fun!

First, you're welcome! Thank you for your interest!

Second, regarding Elena, I wouldn't say I have that great of a grasp of Elena's character, but thank you :) You might want to check out these asks: x x x x.

I think my favorite part about Elena is her warm heart. She's so kind, compassionate, emotional, warm, loving, forgiving, loyal, selfless. I find her so comforting and genuine, like a warm hug - Stefan's a bit like that for me too. And she's so strong. She barters her life, stares down vampires 100 times her age, and absolutely refuses to give up. It'd be so easy for her to hand in the control of her life to Stefan and Damon - who always have such strong opinions on how to save her and would take care of everything for her; plus, she's so young and should've been so scared! - but Elena doesn't. She asserts herself and stands her ground even when that means pissing off Damon or any other supernatural being; she makes her own plans, she refuses to leave the lives of those she loves up to chance (she knows Damon and Stefan wouldn't prioritize them), she refuses to give in to fear and lose control of her life. She's immensely strong. She has no powers, only her determination and her life - literally. She uses her own life as a bargaining chip, gets the upper hand the only way she can. She's so fucking strong and smart for it. Nothing but respect for her, there's no one like her; most badass characters have supernatural powers, or are computer geniuses, doctors, former military, detectives, martial arts experts, etc., but Elena's not a vampire until season 4 and even then it doesn't help her that much. What other characters do you see saving themselves and their friends' lives by leveraging their own? She also daggered and killed Original vampires, and learned to fight to protect herself. She's so proactive! I would've given up, but not Elena. Even when she honestly didn't care that much about her life, she still refused to give up control of it. That's unbelievable. She was so cunning and resourceful.

Really, Elena pulling the doppleganger card to strike a deal with Elijah, and even Klaus, was so clever and something I'd never seen a character do before. She's so adaptable, resilient, pragmatic, and has a good heart on top of that! She reminds me of Olivia from Fringe. She's emotional, and sometimes impulsive and hot-headed, but she uses it to her advantage. Being a weak, soft-hearted human makes her strong, because she'd do anything to protect her loved ones, and finds such clever strategies to do so as well. It's the same when she's a vampire, but there the narrative moves away a bit from her being in danger to other characters and all of MF being in danger.

As for her flaws, I wrote about that in the first link.

Thirdly, my HP days are behind me but I'll try to sort the characters.

Gryffindor: Elena, Bonnie, Rebekah?, Sheila, Enzo?, Carol?, Liv

Hufflepuff: Lexi, Tyler, Matt, Jenna, Jeremy, Liz

Ravenclaw: Jo?, Alaric, Stefan?, Meredith?

Slytherin: Klaus, Damon (cliché?), Caroline?, Kol?, Kai

I give up! Thanks for the ask! You'll probably have questions about this sorting, huh? Haha.

[cornfield-doe]

I got really bad habits to the point where i don´t know if this is an addiction or the type of ADHD where you´re really quiet and have low energy or if i´m getting low again, i sit in my desk and open some social media and doom scroll, i exist anywhere else, and my brain is like "i can´t be creative here", then i do anything else (talk to someone or keep scrolling), through most of my life i´ve been very passive, and impulsive, so i lay all day on the floor or turn into an iPad kid, unless i have the need to do a stop-motion 6 second gag or something, and i did it a lot in my childhood, now, i can´t, i sit on the floor, i go for a walk, my brain always has some fog, not really blocked, but brain fog is really some inflammation kinda thing, you need to stretch, walk, eat, take a shower, or something, i go back, to my desk, and it comes again, it never ends, i get frustrated, i get blocked, i forgot how to be creative, all i know is "think about creating" which will never lead me to anything, every day i do the same thing, i´ve spent the last 11 months trying to come up with an artistic name for an account, i barely like anything, i´ll never be satisfied, i can´t move because i lost notion of time, i have a very distorted view of what can be accomplished in a certain amount of time, and i wanna fix my entire life right now, i can´t, it´s impossible, it´s progressive, i need patience, but i can´t be patient, because i´ll go automatic again, and i´ll forget, unless i get it tattooed on my pupils. On top of that, i can´t help but think how i´m falling into these old habits again, i haven´t forgiven myself for having wasted 4 years of my life doing nothing, i haven´t forgiven myself for being probably actually depressed, i keep thinking

"i can´t go back, i can´t go back, i can´t go back, i can´t go back,i can´t go back, i can´t go back,i can´t go back, i can´t go back,i can´t go back, i can´t go back,i can´t go back, i can´t go back-"

and i forget how to move into the future, i´m dissatisfied, i genuinely think transitioning will help me overcome like 60% of what´s heavy on my back right now, i can´t afford that right now, i can´t escape myself, i wanna escape into a future me, that is still me, and i wanna escape a way from a past me, that is the reason why i´m the me i wanna escape from right now.

I can´t waste another year of "i´m gonna do something" because i barely write down any script, i can barely do a haiku right now, and i´m always afraid because i wanna tell everything all at once, and i can´t, i wanna win an Oscar right now, but that´s because my ego is inflated and i forgot why i do art in the first place, i forgot, and that´s worse, my primitive brain keeps telling me "everyone is worthless, incredibly dumb, i´m objectively right always and nobody should be smarter than me and-" and those are not my thoughts those are not my thoughts those are not my thoughts those are not my thoughts those are not my thoughts those are not my thoughts those are not my thoughts those are not my thoughts those are not my thoughts those are not my thoughts those are not my thoughts those are not my thoughts WHY DOES THE BRAIN GENERATE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS LIKE THAT, MY FRIENDS ARE BRILLIANT AND CREATIVE AND AWESOME.

I´m finally studying what i wanted to study since i was a freaking child and i keep, not doing anything... not reading... not even doodling, i´m afraid, i don´t want to be afraid, i don´t think i know how to not let it control me, i don´t think i know how to be brave. And, i often feel, like i´m just not worth it. somebody else is deserving of all i aspire to do, i can´t visualize myself in that position (or maybe it´s the transitioning thing, or some ADHD that needs to be in completely different rooms every single time or else it will stagnate, i don´t know).

I wanna do anything i could do with my life in the span of 5 seconds and then die and then be reborn in a version of me which is not the current me so that i can live without dealing with the fact that i´m me.

[notgonnarememberthis]

find your way (back to me) - chapter fifteen

Finally, here we are! I’m so sorry that I left y’all on a cliffhanger for such a long time but I needed to be in the proper mood to capture the tone of the last scene in this chapter. All we have left after this is the epilogue!! Hope y’all enjoy!

Malcolm doesn’t remember the last time a gunshot was so loud. It takes away all of the sound in the room like a vacuum had opened up in the center stealing one of his most vital senses. Only his own screaming remained, raw and bloody from the pieces of his heart still left in his chest. He can taste the copper through the cloth where the blood had sprayed his face.

He can’t bring himself to open his eyes. Not when he knows what he will see. His mother will be lying on the cement, too still. All of the color he has in his life fading with her skin tone. Bright and lively eyes will stare blankly up at the sheets of metal, denied the last opportunity to see the sky that she loves so dearly. The one person who refused to leave his side even when he was ungrateful ripped away violently. All she ever wanted was for them to be happy, she pushed herself to make sure they were.

Oh god, how will he tell Ainsley.

His shoulders wrack with sobs and he rocks back and forth trying to gather the little control he has left to open his eyes and face reality. 

Someone grabs him by the shoulders roughly and every ounce of anger explodes out of him. He thrashes around using every part of his body that isn’t tethered to the chair to knock the person off their balance. It works and he hears the person crash but they’re immediately replaced by another.

This one wraps their arms around him, a hand holding the back of his neck with manicured nails digging into his skin. The grip forces his head into a shoulder where his face is buried into a smooth silk blouse. But it’s the smell that makes him stop moving, bourbon and vanilla permeates his senses and dissipates his anger.

He pulls back, eyes wide and searching for answers.

Blue eyes stare back at him, red rimmed but smiling. A relieved laugh escapes her lips while she pulls the fabric from his mouth.

“Mom?” He whispers, his voice breaking.

He takes in the scene fully, Dr. Garcia is still slumped in her chair but she’s stirring clearly still alive but not entirely aware yet. The person he knocked to the ground was Dani, a pocket knife in hand looking a little winded after being headbutted in the stomach. The killer is on the ground, a hole in the middle of his forehead likely dead before he even hit the ground.

He has so many questions. Where did Dani come from? How did she know the perfect time? Did they plan this? Where is everyone else?

Those questions matter so little once his arms and legs are free.

He crashes into his mom, arms wrapping around her stomach so he can bury his face in her hair. Every image that flashed through his mind haunts him as he tightens his grip on her. He almost pulls away when she groans in pain, remembering it had not nearly been long enough into her recovery for him to be holding her so tight.

However, her arms wrap around him too, keeping him just as close to her chest. Her fingers brush through his hair, her voice a comforting whisper in his ear as he breaks down in sobs.

For all he knows she could be a figment of his broken psyche. The last piece of straw that breaks the camel’s back taking what’s left of his sanity with her. He breathes the scent in, his own hands gripping the back of her shirt. If he lets go she will disappear, just another body in a morgue. Just another life taken by a killer.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The scene Gil walks in on is heartbreaking.

His gun was still drawn as he followed the screams. When they stopped he feared the worst. He rounds the corner on the scene that stops him in his tracks.

Malcolm clings to Jessica, both of them standing grasping the other as if they are the last connection to this world. They don’t even notice the new presence in the room. Too busy assuring themselves that they are, in fact, still alive.

It’s Dani who sees him first, checking in on Dr. Garcia who was slowly coming to before coming over to him. Her face gives away everything, her panic that had been building since she got off the phone with him to the relief that she got him in time. She opens her mouth, ready to deliver the report of what happened to him in detail.

He doesn’t let her.

Gil grabs her wrapping Dani in a hug around her shoulders and letting out the breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding for the entire drive. If it weren’t for her, god he doesn’t even want to begin to think what would have happened to his family. If Jess had died, it would have destroyed them all. Malcolm, already fractured by his father, would be gone. Ainsley just starting to put her life back together again, stuck wandering from room to room searching for someone who isn’t there. He would lose her all over again with no chance of repair this time.

“Thank you.” He whispers to her. “Thank you for saving my family.” She swallows with a short, glassy eyed nod.

Jess must have heard him because he meets her eyes next. The moment is oddly familiar, one where they passed a look over Malcolm who was so much smaller back then. The memory feels so far as he stares at them. He’d wanted to go to them, all that time ago. Wrap the both of them tightly and protect them from every danger. Ainsley had been so small, she hardly knew the weight the two of them carried on their shoulders.

He doesn’t wait for her extended hand this time. Not when he could have lost them both in one fell swoop. He wraps his arms around them both, Malcolm startling for a second at the new presence before he settles again. Only Ainsley is missing from the embrace, no doubt once the scene is secure or once they’re all safely away she will join. 

Jessica’s hand comes to rest on his own over Malcolm’s back and he presses a kiss to her hair. Thankful that the nightmare is finally over.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Standing over a grave has always been a wretched experience for Jessica. When she lost her parents in the wreck shortly after Malcolm was born, after the 23 women were killed, after Eve. Her hatred of death loomed in her very presence.

Still she attended every funeral. She funded every single one without a single moment of hesitation. Tommy Moore and Andrew Rankin’s were on the same day. She nearly wept with relief when she met the little boy named Michael. The parents informed her that Michael had been found playing on the swings by a police officer and picked up by his mother shortly after. Adolpho’s funeral was a private affair. Only his family and her own in attendance but it was nice. It felt fitting for him.

Freddy’s was the worst, she thinks as she stares at his headstone. She had been blocked in on either side by Malcolm and Ainsley, their hands holding tightly onto her own. Dr. Garcia’s eulogy for her son was short. Broken up with sobs and moments to gather herself. She wishes, painfully, about how it should’ve been her but Gil’s hand on her shoulder stops those thoughts.

“It’s not your fault.” She startles at the voice she hadn’t heard approaching. The woman who had been plaguing her thoughts is standing on her right. The doctor’s eyes are red rimmed, tears have been shed by nearly everyone in attendance that day but especially them. “Your son told me what you did trying to save Freddy.”

“Malcolm tends to exaggerate to protect others.” She laments.

“I don’t think so.” The entire time her eyes remain ahead, never looking at Jessica. “I read about you, you know. After the surgeon got arrested. How many of those families did you take care of?” She doesn’t know how to answer that question. “And your daughter told me that you already plan on setting up a school fund for the grandson of the second victim.” Jessica shakes her head, of course her children did that. They’re both such meddlers. “You didn’t do this to him.”

“I left him behind.”

“You went to get help.” Dr. Garcia argues and Jessica’s jaw snaps shut. “Any longer in there and your infection would have spread. You can’t argue with that, I was your doctor.” She sighs in defeat at that claim. “You tried to save my son. You’re a hero.”

“Your son was the hero. He cut up his shirt to tend to my injuries. He would’ve been a great doctor. You should be proud.”

The woman’s eyes get glassy at that. Her gaze casts over to another figure staring at them. “That’s his girlfriend. I’m sorry if she says anything angry to you. Freddy was all she had.”

“That’s not true.” Jessica swallows, grabbing the other woman’s hand. “She has you.”

“I don’t know if she’ll let me take her in.”

“Give her time.” Jessica looks to her own children talking with Gil. “They come around.” Dr. Garcia smiles, a sad one that is too reminiscent of a goodbye. Her heart aches for the woman that had to outlive her child. She would do anything to make sure that Malcolm and Ainsley would live long and happy lives.

“His father will take care of him. At least until I can see them again.” Jessica’s eyes fall on the grave beside Freddy’s. Her throat closes again with the familiar panic. “Please, don’t let this man tear you apart more than he already has. That monster can’t hurt them now. He can’t hurt you now.”

Tears slide unwillingly down her cheeks as she nods.

Jessica hopes she’s right.

[herhaunt-a]

to nell , the inside of her mind looks like the inside of hill house , and when she disassociates or loses track of the real , she explains it as being stuck in one of the rooms but the house keeps turning around her and changing shape or pathways until she can’t get back . when she’s very bad , she walks the corridor for the red room , though when she’s feeling a little strange and just having trouble she might be in the statue room or hers and luke’s room, but always like she’s trapped in the house.

[jodqriel]

holy fucking shit i just got the most intense urge to watch korra

[watanabes-cum-dump]

Qiu Jia revamp

Uhhh I haven’t done a full body redesign yet but I need to talk about him without flooding the discord server with him bc I think everyone there is tired of him

Anyways,

Meet Qiu Jia, commandant of Gray Raven after the unfortunate circumstances surrounding former commandant Ash Reyes. Originally, the commandant worked under Kurono after graduating from Faust but became a commandant due to the special circumstances of Gray Raven.

“A troublesome young man, but, very good at producing results” - Mr. Smith about commandant Jia.

Originally found in the ruins of Guangzhou, he was taken up to Babylonia as the only surviving human for miles around. Taken in alongside Ash Reyes as Commander Nikola’s charge, he grew up surrounded by a vast wealth of resources and opportunities. Though, he was a rather troubled child and makes it no secret that it is impart to some bad blood with his guardian.

Anyways enough serious stuff time for some fun facts/head canons

Has a pretty volatile personality tbh, kind of hard to like a whole bunch. Really snappy, negative, and pretty rude. Very ruthless as well, doesn’t shy away from endangering people he works with, long as it isn’t him and Gray Raven. It’s the daddy issues lmao. Def needs therapy

Rather promiscuous as well, especially back in his days at Faust Academy.

Had a pretty rocky relationship with Gray Raven at first, but he eventually gets along with them after befriending Liv

On Liv, she’s like his impulse control. She starts to rub off on him and he becomes a little more compassionate. Not to mention, the huge character development (read: trauma) from Survival Luceum and Evernight Beat changed him a lot.

Lucia he just feels really bad for. He finds it kind of awkward to be around her but he gives her cooking lessons and they bond over that

Absolutely could not stand Lee initially. (There’s only room for one blue boy in this house-) But they learn to tolerate each other because of their shared hatred of Kuro. Tries to be a big brother to Lee but let’s be real, Lee is older than him (technically disregarding his mental age) and will not be told what’s good for him by some poor sod with daddy issues AND substance abuse problems

Oh yeah he has those too. When I said volatile I meant it.

Lost his arms in an explosion and his spine got fucked up during Evernight Beat. Has prosthetic arms that make him much stronger than an average human being and a prototype spine implant to help him walk and balance again. Unfortunately, as spinal prosthetics are relatively new, he cannot swim as he cannot right himself whilst suspended in the water.

His cute bunny shaped headgear actually has a function. The “ears” are like satellites and he effectively has more range of communication with Babylonia this way. A new design has been made without the ears but he secretly prefers them, making the excuse that he doesn’t have money to replace them.

See’s Ash as his older brother

Grew up surrounded by politics, but surprisingly, Hassen is like an uncle to him.

Loathes Nikola, despite how similar they are in personality. Also because Nikola used to pit him against Ash when they were younger and he always seemed to disapprove of him and just think more highly of Ash. (Dw it fucked Ash up too)

I’m not even gonna lie to you his taste in men is terrible. He has a crush on ROLAND of all people. Yeah, ROLAND. THE ASCENDANT THAT HAS TRIED TO KILL HIM AND HIS SQUAD ON NUMEROUS OCCASIONS. He needs therapy not clown cock.

On that note, I feel like he has vaguely flirty exchanges with Roland whenever they encounter each other. Like leaning on enemies to lovers type shit heavily

Probably recognized Roland’s voice during their little prison escape (Roland affections story) and the schoolgirl inside of him was going ham. Kicking his feet and giggling after.

Likes to explore ruins Gray Raven come across. Mostly on his own because he likes to clear his mind that way. It has gotten him into trouble on numerous occasions.

Chronic bad decision maker

On a more serious note, after Survival Luceum he sort of reconciles with Nikola. Just because after a near death experience they can finally be honest with each other. (Aaaand because Hassen has been telling Nikola to do it before he regrets it)

Loves peaches. Immensely. Peach flavoured cigs/vape.

Oh god his withdrawal periods are super fucking bad. Like it’s really hard for Gray Raven to be around him when he’s going through it. Swore he’d go clean after Survival Luceum since his fucked up body can’t handle more nicotine and alchohol but it’s been hard and he got pretty shaken up by the whole thing.

To end this on a more lighthearted note, he plays guitar and is super into music. Loves sappy Golden Age songs

[whitesparrows97]

Heartstring Melodies – Part 1

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU, College AU, fuckboy!Yoongi

Summary: Min Yoongi, the fuckboy of the whole college and the guy all girls fall for, should be your soulmate? You don’t believe that, you don’t want to believe that. Therefore, you and your best friend make a pact: She pretends to be you and gets together with Yoongi. Nothing can go wrong with that, right?

Warnings: Light swearing

Word Count: 3.8K

Next

Chapter One: «The course of true love never did run smooth.» – w.s.

Lost in thought, you pushed the strap of your backpack, which had slipped down, back onto your shoulder. You searched for the familiar bunch of black hair, but it wasn’t easy among the many groups of people standing in front of the library. A waving arm ended your search and with a little smile you headed in the direction of your best friend. No sooner had you reached her than you were pulled into a tight embrace. Your laughter was muffled by the body in front of you as you returned the hug.

“We last saw each other two days ago, Liv,” you laughed as she released her grip around your body and smiled at you. 

She shrugged as you walked towards the entrance of the building. “I hardly have anyone else but you,” she said softly and you could only hear her because it was so quiet in the library. “Besides, I’ve missed you.”

“We really should have studied the same subject,” you muttered. 

The three years of university would probably be a lot more fun and more exciting if the two of you sat next to each other in the lecture hall. But you knew that your passions and interests were in different areas. Liv would probably go insane if she had to listen to daily seminars about the salinity of the sea or hear the word ‛photosynthesis’ one more time. On the other hand, you would probably lose it if you had to hear the names Nietzsche, Sartre or Aristotle more than once a week.

You were aware that you shouldn’t make compromises when it came to your future. And it wasn’t as if you never saw Liv; on the contrary, you saw each other practically every day at lunchtime or after your lectures.

“Are you going to the lab later?” Liv asked as you sat down at an empty table.

You let yourself sink onto the chair, exhausted from the long day, and took your papers out of your backpack. “I don’t think so,” you replied and brushed a few strands of hair aside that had fallen into your face when you shook your head.

“Jin will be disappointed,” Liv teased but you ignored her ambiguous undertone. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said and tried to concentrate on the text you were supposed to read. However, your concentration was immediately interrupted when a hand placed itself on yours. Surprised, you looked up.

“Honestly, Y/N,” Liv started and you had the feeling that you didn’t want to hear the next part of her question. “What is going on between you and Jin?”

You pulled your hand out of her grip and dropped both hands in your lap as you leaned back against the chair. “Nothing,” you said, but Liv raised her eyebrows. “Really, he’s a good friend, and he knows I want nothing more than that. A good friendship.”

“If you say so,” Liv said in conclusion, but not without giving you a quick examing look. 

The silence around you tempted your thoughts to buzz all the louder in your head and from minute to minute it became more difficult to concentrate on the text in front of you. You knew that the relationship between you and Jin was purely platonic. But you were afraid that it wasn’t as clear to him. Even though you made it more than clear to him after he asked you out for coffee a few weeks ago. 

You gave Liv a belated angry look and cursed her for even bringing the topic up. Your eyes fell again on the text in front of you and with a sigh you turned to the next page. You were just about to look at the different types of sponges when you heard Liv gasp.

You looked up in wonder, but her gaze was directed at something behind you. You suppressed the impulse to turn around and look to see what had made her lose her voice.

“What?” you asked and couldn’t prevent the annoyed undertone. You had come to the library because you wanted to be well prepared for your homework and the laboratory work that went with it. 

“Oh my God,” Liv croaked out. She was still staring intently at something behind you. “He looks so good,” you heard her whisper and you knew exactly who it was about.

With an eye roll you grabbed the pencil you had dropped on the table and continued to underline important passages in the text. “You’d better concentrate on your studies, Liv,” you said and watched out of the corner of your eye as her head snapped towards you.

“How?” she said a bit too loud and got some angry glances from the students around you. “How can I concentrate if a man like Min Yoongi exists?” With a sigh she let her head fall into her hands and stared in the direction of the man she was talking about. 

“If you keep staring like that, he will notice it,” you stated, but a little smile played around the corners of your mouth as you remembered a situation from a few weeks ago.

“Hopefully,” Liv said and the same situation seemed to have entered her head as well.

“How long has he looked at you last time?” you asked, thinking pretentiously. You knew the answer only too well, Liv had told you often enough. “One second? Or was it even two?”

“Make fun of me,” she replied and lowered her hands. “But the one second he looked at me was the best in my life.”

“Wow, then the rest of your life must be very sad,” you muttered and laughed when you had to dodge the pen that flew in your direction. “You’re not even sure if he was really looking at you.”

“So what? He looked in my direction, which is more than some girls on this campus can dream of.”

You shook your head in disbelief. You didn’t understand how you could be so attracted to someone you had never spoken to before. Especially to someone like Min Yoongi. Your thoughts spat out the name and you had to control yourself not to pull a face when the image of the man came into your head. 

Objectively speaking, he was handsome. Even you could see that. But what was the point of all that good looks when the character was nothing but a big pile of junk? And in Min Yoongi’s case, his personality took on the dimensions of a whole garbage dump.

Unfortunately, most girls on campus had a different opinion than you and they made it all too clear should they ever cross paths with him in the hallways or the cafeteria. You imagined that this only confirmed Min Yoongi in his ego even more. And it was well known that Yoongi rarely ever said no to a beautiful girl; at least if you could believe the rumors. Actually, him and his small group of friends had made a name for themselves, to live up to those rumors. 

Your thoughts were interrupted when you noticed how Liv held her breath. A second later you saw the reason for her behavior when none other than Min Yoongi himself walked past your table. You watched him for a moment as he, his hands buried in the pocket of his black torn jeans, disappeared behind one of the many shelves.

“Please don’t start to freak out,” you said, half joking, half serious. 

“Why is he here?”, Liv asked instead, stretching her neck, to get another look at the man. “He never goes to the library.”

“You sound like a stalker,” was the only thing you replied and returned to your homework.

“Y/N,” Liv tried to whisper, but her voice was louder than she had planned so she was almost shouting your name. Again you felt the annoyed looks of the students around you. One boy even clicked his tongue in irritation and groaned before turning his gaze away from you to bury his nose back in his book. “He’s coming here,” she finished her sentence, and you were glad that she had the volume of her voice under control this time.

When you looked up, you knew that Liv was not exaggerating this time. Your gaze met that of Min Yoongi and for a moment it seemed as if the few noises of the quiet library around you were blurring into a loud humming. You felt your heartbeat pounding in your throat as you looked into the dark eyes of the man who wore an indefinable expression. 

He had drawn his eyebrows together in confusion and turned his gaze towards the floor for a moment as he continued to walk towards your table. Your table was the last one in the row and was therefore closest to the aisle he had just come from. Before you could get your thoughts in order, or calm down Liv who was shifting nervously in her chair, Min Yoongi had stopped in front of you.

“Hi,” he greeted you and his deep voice was what made you avert your gaze from him and release you from your rigidity. He cleared his throat briefly and pointed with his thumb over his shoulder towards the aisle behind him. “I’m looking for a book on composers of the 20th century. Do you know where I can find the music section? I’m not here that often,” he added the last part, and if you didn’t know better, he seemed almost embarrassed as he rubbed his hand over his neck.

Your eyes fell on Liv for a moment and you realized immediately that she was beyond help. Her eyes were two big hearts and her mouth hung slightly open as she looked up at the man in front of her. You suppressed an eye roll and turned your gaze back to the man in front of you who looked at you.

With the pen in your hand you pointed to the other end of the library. “If you go down this corridor, almost to the end, you’ll find everything about music,” you explained to him and he looked in the direction you were pointing. “I think that what you’re looking for is in the aisle next to contemporary art. But I’m not entirely sure about that.”

Yoongi turned his gaze back to you and a grin spread across his face; he was back to his old, arrogant self. Too bad, he had been very nice until now. Almost too nice…

“Thank you,” he said and mustered you once from to head to toe. You had to supress the urge to make yourself smaller in your chair.

“If there’s nothing else,” you said as an invitation for him to leave and trying to get him to look away from you as quickly as possible. But he raised an eyebrow when he heard the tone of your voice and the distinct disinterest when you turned back to the papers in front of you. 

“Sorry,” said Liv, and her voice was an octave too high when she spoke. “She doesn’t mean it like that,” she tried to explain and you flinched as her foot came into contact with your shin. 

“No problem,” he replied and took a look at the text you tried to read. “Well, I’d better let you two get back to work. We don’t want Mommy and Daddy to be disappointed,” he added and you raised your eyes briefly to shoot him an angry look. Asshole…

He gave you another smug grin before he went in the direction you pointed. You already regretted having helped him at all. Although he had been so nice for the first few seconds. It was probably all part of his tactics to get girls into bed. 

The next minutes you had to listen to the whispered, excited monologue of Liv, who told you over and over again what had just happened. As if you hadn’t been there yourself. Sighing, you stowed your folders in your backpack when you were sure you wouldn’t be able to do anything productive today. Especially not with your hyperactive best friend, who seemed to be vibrating with excitement in her chair. You, and probably all students around you, were happy when you both left the library and headed to the dorms.

Unlike you, Liv lived in her own apartment not far from campus. So you gave her credit for taking you to the building where you had your apartment, which you shared with two other girls. Then again, she had a lot to make up for after the last two hours. After you two said your good-byes and you climbed up the stairs to the fourth floor, your thoughts inevitably drifted to the incident a few minutes earlier. 

You still saw the briefly confused look on his face as he had approached you. The black hair had fallen into his face, so you hardly noticed how he pulled his eyebrows together. Something had been strange at the moment your eyes met. You had never experienced anything like it; that feeling as if everything around you was disappearing and your focus was only on one person for a split second.

You snorted when you noticed how much this thought reminded you of romantic love stories. A woman met a man and it was like love at first sight. Everything except for the other person became meaningless. You would describe yourself as not a particularly romantic person. Sure, you wouldn’t mind if a man gave you flowers or some other small gift. But for that you would have to have a man who would find you interesting enough to go out with you in the first place. 

Yet you were strictly against the romanticizing that took place in so many movies, books, music and real life. Your stomach almost turned when a term came into your mind which you tried to erase from your thoughts as soon as it entered your head. 

Soulmates.

With a little more force than necessary, you yanked open the zipper of your backpack to look for the key card of your apartment. Soulmates were an invention of a cruel god or higher power who had grown bored and wanted to see people suffer. There was no other way you could explain what the whole thing was for. There was nothing worse for you than the thought that your future and your life partner were predetermined. 

And even worse was that it could hit you every day. There was no particular age at which soulmates found each other. You could find them when you were two, playing with them in the playground. Or you could find them at 92, sitting in your rocking chair at the retirement home. Many people never found them either and died without ever having a name on their skin. What a disappointment so many people went through, just because they never found their soulmate. 

Did that make other relationships less valuable? Did it make life less worth living? Not in your eyes. You couldn’t understand how many people cared that much about a tattoo that put more pressure on you than it helped. You hoped that you would never have that problem and that the spot on your skin right over your heart would remain empty forever.

This thought had just crossed your mind when you suddenly felt a hot sting in your chest. The key card to your apartment slipped out of your grasp as your hand shot up to the spot right under your left breast. “Fuck,” you mumbled and tried to apply some pressure on the spot, hoping to take away some of the pain. In vain.

It felt like the burning was working its way into your chest until it finally enveloped you completely and for a second you felt like you were on fire. As fast as it had come, as fast the feeling ebbed away and a moment later you stood breathless in the hallway in front of your door. You leaned against the wall next to it and tried to get your breath under control.

Was that a heart attack? Or a stroke? 

With shaking fingers you picked up the key card from the floor. It took you three attempts until the door finally opened and you were able to enter the apartment. As you brushed off your shoes, you ran your hand over the spot under your breast. Your eyes widened and you froze completely in your movement when a thought occurred to you.

No. No, it could not be. What a coincidence it would be if at the very moment you were upset about soulmates… 

You shook your head, you didn’t want to think for a second about what might be on your skin. A name that would turn your life upside down.

You ignored the warmth that seemed to radiate from your chest as you stepped into the kitchen of the small apartment. You had never been happier than now that your two roommates weren’t home yet. A few minutes alone was exactly what you needed. You didn’t feel ready to answer the questions of the two curious girls when they noticed that something was wrong with you. It wouldn’t take them five minutes to figure out what was wrong with you.

You had lost your appetite, so you left the kitchen and went straight to your room. While you were sitting at your desk, hoping to finally be able to get some homework done, your thoughts recalled the past day. You tried to remember all the faces that you had met for the first time today. There were probably hundreds of them, if you thought about the hustle and bustle that was happening on campus every day. 

Was there anyone that you spoke to for the first time? One more thing that indicated for the cruelty of the gods or spirits that invented soulmates. It could happen that you were sitting next to your soulmate day in, day out on the way to work on the same train. You would see each other every day, maybe for years. The name on your chest, however, only appeared after you had exchanged your first words with the person. That was another reason why so many people never knew who their soulmate was.

Your eyes fell on your phone, which was lying next to you on the desk and your fingers twitched in that direction. For a moment you toyed with the idea of calling your father, but you knew better and let your hand fall back into your lap.

Instead, you tried again to remember the day and to recall the conversations that took place. In your chemistry class, you had a short conversation with another student who asked if he could borrow a pen from you. At the cash desk at the cafeteria there was a new temp, a young man, probably in his mid-twenties. He had handed you your food and asked you if that was all or if there was anything else you wanted to get. On the way to the library you had not met another person.

It took you a moment to stretch the time line further and your heart skipped a beat when you thought about the conversation at the library. For the third time today you froze and sat on your chair as if you were glued to the spot. You were sure that any color had disappeared from your face as your thumb subconsciously ran across the slight burning in your chest. 

A moment later, you jumped up in anger. The chair slammed against the desk with a loud thud and out of the corner of your eye you saw some of the little collection figures you had placed on it fall over.

You ran to the mirror at the back of the door to your room and came to a halt in front of it, breathing loudly. It had only been a few steps, your room was not that big, and yet you were out of breath as if you had run a marathon.

That could not, no, that would not be true. You weren’t even sure if it wasn’t a heart attack you had had after all. You would lift up your shirt and see nothing but your skin underneath. Everything would be the same. With clammy fingers you grabbed the hem of your shirt and slowly pulled it up. You could see more and more of your skin in the mirror and you swallowed hard as you worked your way up inch by inch. 

With a choked scream you let the material of the fabric fall down. Had you just seen something black? Or was it a shadow of the low, setting sun? You didn’t want to try again, but you knew that sooner or later you would have to look. 

You took one more deep breath before closing your eyes, grabbing the hem and pulling the shirt over your head with a jerk. You held on to the thin fabric for a moment before it fell to the ground and landed by your feet. You heard your heartbeat rushing in your ears and were torn between opening your eyes or squeezing them even tighter.

Okay, it was gonna be okay. You probably didn’t even know the name, if there really was one. If those were the only conversations you had with strangers today, the chances were one in three that it would be him. That wasn’t too bad, was it?

You pulled yourself together and opened your eyes. Right away, you wish you hadn’t. You wished you could close your eyes forever to this name that would be engraved on your skin for the rest of your life. You stroked over it, at first lightly, then more firmly, until the skin around the black fine lines turned red, so vigorously you tried to wipe the name away. 

The name you heard people whispering in the corridors. The name that belonged to the man who immediately attracted attention as soon as he entered a room. Any other name would be better than the one you were staring at in the mirror before you. And even though it was mirrored, it didn’t take you a millisecond to read it.

Min Yoongi.

Note: Hello! I really hope you enjoyed the first chapter of this little story! Any kind of feedback is appreciated a lot and helps me to stay motivated and get chapters out more quickly. So I’m happy about any kind of feedback if you enjoyed the chapter (or not and you want to give me tips on my writing, which is appreciated as well)!

I hope you’re all staying safe and see you soon! 💜

[sunny-sings-sooth]

kay so i dun sum thinkin sence yesterday bout ghe whole organg thingy, and i've drank nough cafein to rip the universe apart so take this ig

so like, how does apollo's healing work? does he straight up just make them regenerate missing body parts, or does it take a while? what wounds can he not heal? do they heal right away? does the wound need to be open for him to heal it? cus lets suppose u rip away aiwin's liver, could apollo be able to make it regrow right away or would u need a replacement? of if u'd rip away a peace of flesh, would apollo make it regrow it? or would it need to heal by itself? what is the limit. how far can we go w the organ selling business for aiwin to be able to liv and be useful for a long while after that? AND CAN HE MAKE SKIN REGROW?? LIKE WHOLE ASS BODY WORTH OF SKIN?? IF HE CANT, HOW MUCH CAN HE HEAL SKIN?? CAN HE HEAL SIMPLE SKON INJURIES OR JUST BURNS?? AND WHAT IS THE BURN LVL TOO HIGH??? WOULD A 3RD DEGREE BURN BE TOO MUCH OR WOULD BE BE ABLE TO DEAL W IT???? WHAT BOUT THE SKIN BEIN FULLY BURNT TO A CRISP????

Lmao this is a solid question tho! The following answer is susceptible to change cuz I’m still working on it hehe

Essentially my idea is that Apollo first uses something reminiscent to echolocation. While seeing what we would see, he’s seeing an overlay of all the tissue and cells and stuff in the body, a level of complexity only a highly intelligent god mind like his own can handle. His action depends on the severity of the wound. If it is not as severe, he will heal it solely using the person’s own cells. Like if Aiwin got a skinned knee, Apollo would just speed up the scabbing and healing process in a matter of minutes (Which would involve platelets forming a barrier over the wound, immune cells fighting invaders, etc its all biology). This would leave the person tired and hungry cuz it’s only their own supplements being used, so they’ll have to rest a little.

With more serious wounds it gets more complicated. Apollo cannot reverse death, thereby he cannot reverse anything that will make you instantly die. For instance, Hyacinthus got hit in the head with the discus so hard the brain damage probably instantly killed him, hence Apollo could not save him (which is why Asclepius’ skill to raise the death was so shocking). If its not instant death, Apollo will introduce something of his own into the person’s system. I’m not sure if it’s his cells or some sort of divine energy. Either way, it’s a delicate process as mortal bodies are not equipped to deal with such powerful things, so he is very careful about doing this. It’s an art crafted from centuries of practice, and will fatigue Apollo himself.

The only requirement would be for Apollo to be able to place his hands on the person he’s healing. Touch is vital. I’m playing around with the idea that he controls the cells using electromagnetic impulses, a spin off of his father’s lightning powers. There is no reason he couldn’t use another part of his body, but his hands allow comfort and precision he couldn’t achieve with another body part. He would prefer to use the person’s own cells, glucose supply, oxygen supply, etc. cuz it‘s less risky. However, he can introduce his own if necessary, and I don’t think an issue of running out of supplements is an issue since he can live off of much less supplements than he has in a way a mortal can‘t, he’d just have to eat to replenish when he’s done.

For all your scenarios, it’s simply a question of whether Apollo can undo the damage before the person’s body fails. I think it would be very difficult to replace organs, I’d have to research that. Cutting off skin and burns seem fine cuz they’re not directly damaging the innards.

I hope this all makes sense, I just came up with it! Follow up questions welcomed, and thank you for the intriguing ask! ❤️

[dreaminae]

We All Need The One Friend

Chapter 14

Softly placing her hand upon his chest, Liv pushed Spencer back into his original spot in the passenger seat.

"What's wrong, Liv?" Spencer asked, confused by the shift in her mood.

Huffing, Olivia mentally prepared herself to confess. "I wanted to make sure I told you how I felt before telling you this, Spence. Because I want you to understand that what happening with me isn't because of you, Vegas, or what's happening between us."

Spencer nodded, letting Olivia gather her thoughts aloud.

"I'm going through something that could break me, but I won't let it because I'm going to get the help I need. I can't get into major detail right now because my family need the truth first."

"You will tell me you're ready," Spencer interjected, assuring a nervous Olivia that he understood her actions.

"The reason I'm telling you this is so that you don't worry about me." Olivia sighed.

"It's like you told me at the cabin," Spencer recalled. "Whatever it is that you're going through, you're strong enough to handle it."

"Thanks, Spencer." Liv exhaled with relief.

"Hey, and you already know to count on me for whatever you need," Spencer added supportively, grabbing her hand once more. "Even if it means just being here."

Liv grinned, tightening the hold on his hand she gestured towards the road she contently, "Let's head home."

Their drive was quiet, as Spencer allowed Liv to mentally prepare for what he assumed to be an impending larger confession.

They'd peak at each other now and again with cheeky grins. On her third grin towards Spencer, Liv only spaced for a second. And it took only a second for things to go array.

One moment Spencer's eyes were on Liv's adoring smile, the next his eyes were wide on the road.

"Liv, watch out!"

Her eyes tore from his in shock as a stray dog ran into the road. Swerving her steering wheel to keep from hitting the dog, Liv sent her car flying into the direction of the curbside. Pressing her breaks, she tried to no avail to keep from crashing into a black, parked car.

Smoke aired from Olivia's engine as she and Spencer accessed the damage of the crash.

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry." Liv panicked, checking Spencer's arm.

"It's alright, Liv. I'm fine." Spencer moaned. "Are you?" He replied, concerned for her as well.

"Yeah. I think so." Liv moaned, checking over herself, Liv couldn't help but to think that things could've been worse.

------------------------------

"Why don't both of you put your hands outward where I can see them?" One officer hastily insisted after finding Olivia and Spencer at the scene of the crash.

"I can grab my license and registration if you give me a..." Liv suggested impulsively, one foot moving in the direction of her wrecked vehicle.

"Don't move, Ma'am!" The officer's voice boomed aggressively.

Spencer hand immediately grab hold of Liv's, holding her in place.

"Back to your places with your hands where I can see them. Both of you!" He aggressively repeated.

Olivia froze in place at a loss for words. Spencer gave her a stern expression, so she followed his lead staying unwaveringly obedient.

"My partner is running your plates. We'll find out who's car this is soon enough." The officer spat accusingly.

Liv rolled her eyes in disbelief of the indirect accusation of grand theft auto. "It's registered to my parents. Which you'd know if you had allowed me to show you my documents." Liv sniped rebelliously.

"That's enough out of you." The officer groaned, annoyed by Liv's verbal upheaval. "Instead of sassying me, how about telling me about the accident."

"What do you want to know?" Liv responded.

"Who was driving?" The officer demanded to know.

Spencer eyed Liv with uncertainty, wondering if he might need to take the fall. However, before he could Olivia answered the police officer.

"I was driving." Liv chirped undoubtedly.

"Are you intoxicated?" The officer asked, eyeing Liv suspiciously.

And for the hundredth time this weekend, Liv found herself grateful that she hadn't taken her infamous blue bottle to the cabin this weekend.

"No, I am not." Liv sighed honestly, resulting in Spencer releasing a breath of relief he hadn't been aware he was holding. "You can test me if you want?" Liv challenged.

The officer opened his mouth to sprout a comeback, but his partner joined the conversation before he could.

"Your vehicle is listed under D.A Baker ownership." The female cop hastily spoke, silently discouraging her partner from pressing the teen further.

"That's right." Olivia agreed. "She's my mom."

Moaning agitatedly, the male officer gave in, refusing to be reported for harassing the district attorney's kid. "I suggest calling your mother before she gets worried. My and I will see if we can get a toll for your vehicle."

"You do that." Liv sniped sarcastically, frustrated by the cop's clear double standards.

Spencer gazed at Liv with a disapproving expression to which she shrugged in response. Her demeanor was that of a social justice warrior, while he was of carried the persona of a young survivor. Despite the serious situation, he couldn't help admire how she held strong under adversity.

-----------------------------

Almost two hours rolled by into the late-night when Spencer and Olivia found themselves at the Baker residence.

"Let's just be glad no one was hurt." Laura's voice rang into the Bakers' kitchen as she set her purse on the countertop. "Things could've been much worse."

Several scenarios of the night flashed through Liv's mind in the last two hours. One where she had been intoxicated and arrested. Another where she'd crashed while under the influence, pleading with Spencer to take the fall. Even one where she'd lost her own life at the wheel of her alcohol abuse.

No longer able to hold onto her darkest secret, she confessed to her mother what she'd been hiding since the end of summer.

"It could've been worse," Liv muttered her mother's words in a lifeless tone, gaining Laura's attention. "Had this happened even a week ago, I would've been arrested for drinking while intoxicated."

Laura's eyes tore up from her phone, perplexed by her daughter's words. "Why would you say that Liv? You don't drink."

"But I have been drinking." Liv finally admitted. "This is the first weekend in months that I've been completely sober."

Laura's eyes watered with tears of denial. "No, because I had you tested and you passed. You could've have cheated that test."

"You tested me for paraphernalia." Olivia corrected. "Not alcohol. Which is why I passed the test."

"I asked you, Liv. I asked if you were using, and you said no. Even your Dad asked you. So what, you just lied to us?" Laura inquired, tears streaming down ber cheeks as she tried to contain her emotions.

"I told you the truth. I haven't been taking any drugs, prescriptions, or anything like that." Liv replied, her voice cracking under her mother's disappointed gaze. "Not that it matters." She acknowledges. "I told myself it was okay to drink because it wasn't a pill. But it's not okay. I know that now. I swear I know." She cried.

"Why, Liv? You've been doing so well." Laura wept for her daughter's abandoned recovery.

"That's just it! I'm not doing well. I haven't been for a while!" Olivia shouted, wanting her mother to see the truth. "I can't remember the last good night's sleep I had. I can't remember a night where I didn't dread being alone with my thoughts. I don't remember a day this past summer where I didn't depend on having company to keep myself from wanting to drink or pop a random pill. My sponsor's been A-Wall since before summer. You have your new job, Dad is hardly around, and Jordan has his own life to worry about. I didn't want to feel like a burden. I thought I had it under control, but it's falling apart! I just want it to be over, Mom!" Liv ranted out in tears, "I just want it all to be over."

Sensing that Liv had finally released all her built-up angst, Spencer embraced her, allowing her to cry on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." She whispered in a hushed tone, leaning her head on Spencer's shoulder. She hoped he was too disappointed in her. "I didn't mean to..."

"Shhh.." Spencer insisted gently, running his fingers through her curls. "It's alright. You're gonna be alright."

Laura breathed heavily, silently processing her daughter's breakdown.

Continuing to coax Liv down from her panic attack, Spencer kissed the side of her temple. "I'm proud of you for telling the truth," Spencer assured Liv supportively.

Holding him closer, Liv sniffled. "Thanks."

Their intimate moment broke at the sound of Laura clearing her throat. Pulling away from Spencer, Olivia faced her distraught mother.

"I didn't mean for it all to come out this way." Olivia apologized, clear-minded enough to have a formal discussion. "But with the crash, I couldn't keep it in any longer."

"It's been a long night, and right now I'd like both of us to get some rest." Laura stated, "Tomorrow, your father and I will decide what is the best route to take to help you."

"I know what Dad will want. And I know you probably want to send me to rehab, as well." Liv immediately added as before her mother could end the discussion. "But I'm begging you not to, Mom."

"Now isn't the time to discuss this. I need to take Spencer home. Your father and I will decide tom-"

"Mom, please." Liv pleads, grabbing Laura's hand. "This isn't like last time. I came to you this time. I admit to drinking, and I will do whatever I need to get better. Just don't send me away again." Olivia groveled.

Pulling away her hand Laura reached for her purse and car keys. "We will talk about this tomorrow. Not tonight. I'm taking Spencer home, and you need to bed."

Dropping her hand at her side, Liv nodded, sensing her mom was going unwavered. "Fine. Can I at least say goodbye to Spencer?"

Laura glared at Liv, telling her daughter not to push her luck.

"This might be the last time I see him for a while." Liv assumed. "Please, mom."

Huffing, Laura nodded. "Five minutes. I will be in the car. I expect Spencer there in five minutes."

"Yes, ma'am," Spencer answered on both their behalf as Laura left the room.

Liv's hands instinctively entwined with Spencer's.

"This isn't how I planned for tonight to go." Liv moaned defeatedly. "I ruined it for us."

"You didn't ruin anything, Liv. I knew there was a chance of this happening. Kia warned me earlier that she suspected you are drinking or thinking about it." Spencer revealed his earlier conversation with the young activist.

"You knew this entire night. When we were in the car? When I told you that I love you? During the crash?" Liv questioned, stunned. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I know you'd do the right thing in the end, and come clean. If not tonight, then later on in the week." Spencer disclosed. "I trust you, Liv. You asked me to let you do this on your own, and that's what I'm going to do."

"Thank you." Liv cooed with tears in her eyes. Her hand caressed Spencer's cheek. "I know this isn't what you had in mind when you pictured the night we finally got together."

"With everything that's happened tonight, and what might happen after tonight, I want to be clear," Spencer spoke seriously, tugging on Liv's hips to pull her closer.

The space between them closed as their lips met in a sensual kiss. Holding the sides of his face, Liv molded with Spencer returning the gentle movements. Licking her bottom lip, Spencer tasted her gloss once more. His tongue massaging hers for dominance, causing Liv to giggle as she let him take the lead. Spencer's lips left hers, trailing down her neck as she held him close. Breathing in her scent, Spencer engraved this moment into the back of his mind, hoping it wouldn't be their last in the coming days.