#live gobbing reaction

[zettasteria]

An Introduction! 🪱

Okay no more of my ironic pinned, for real this time!

My name's Glock! I'm a something or other Nonbinary Vtuber! I play a bit of everything but especially love survival horror games like Resident Evil! And while I may be bad at those games I'm also bad at everything! I hope you'll stick around!

Streams are Monday/Wednesday at 9PM EST, and Friday at 10PM EST!

Twitch (Streams!) Youtube (Clips and archive) Twitter (Where I commission art)

[teriri-sayes]

Reactions to Crazier Bastard's Chapter 296

Brief summary: Cale meets the World Tree and learns about what happened to him. Cale and Super Rock sets down the flags of Cale using his Instant ability in the future. Cale decides to save the WT instead of using his WT seed.

==========

First of all, Dragon Lord's side was crazy. Not only did they create this space where time was repeated over again and again, they even cut off both of the WT's feet. 😡

In addition to the Dragon Lord, the Saintess of GoW (Orsena lady), a wanderer (from the Five-Colored Bloods), and the Saint of GoC came to visit the WT. GoC's saint was a new character, and Cale thought they must be more powerful than 2nd Star Epley who was just a believer.

The two saints placed a curse on WT, forcing him to experience the death of all living beings in this world thousands of times in just an instant. WT temporarily broke down after that, and they used that time to chain him up. 😡😡😡

And then, the Instant red flags came. 🤣🤣🤣 Cale was thinking on how to counter the Dragon Lord's powers of time, and immediately thought of his Instant ability.

Cale: *thinks of his Instant ability after hearing the Dragon Lord's powers* Super Rock (SR): No, Cale! Don't think about that! Cale: (Yes, what was I thinking?) SR: You, don't waste the Instant you have. No matter how much you've connected the plates together and strengthened them. The Instant ability you possess is not something you can handle with your human skin! I'll say it clearly, don't use it if you don't want to die! Cale: (Yes, yes. I won't use it anyway. I have lots of allies now here and from my world, right? I can even use GoD and the Blue Wolf, or Cotton's organization. Or the Central Plains people.) SR: Then why are you biting your lip so hard? Cale: (Damn it!) *thinks about what other time powers his side could use* SR: Isn't there Raon's Present attribute? Cale: (Damn it! Shut up!) SR: You're not thinking of taking Raon's place, right? Cale: (...No?) SR: Pfft. Cale: (Let's not create a situation like that. A situation where Raon will move or I will use my Instant.) SR: Yes. It won't come to that. We won't let it come to that. Let's use our allies as much as possible! Cale: *agrees*

My goodness, Cale. That conversation pretty much confirmed that you'll be using Instant and taking the place of Raon. 😂 Super Rock, you're not helping either. 😂😂😂

Moving on, Cale decided to save the WT instead of killing it. He ignored Fire AP's excited talk of burning the WT to ashes to let it be reborn again. 🤣🤣🤣 As for the chains that bound WT, it was the same chains that bound the Sky-Eating Water, so SEW was really excited to break it.

Oh yeah, GoD also sent Cale messages that since GoB had gone crazy because of the mess GoC created in the God realm, he could now create a portal between Central Plains and Aipotu. Ooooh! We're going to meet HD again soon!

Ending Remarks The antagonists made me mad at what they did to the WT. Fortunately, the comedic moment of the Instant red flag planting got me to forget it. 😂 Next chapter would be SEW breaking the chains and Cale saving the suicidal WT.

[everydayyoulovemeless]

Fo4 Masterlist

Oneshots / Drabbles

To Victory - Danse x Reader

Mystery Swim - Deacon x Reader

Kiddie Kingdom - Platonic!Gage x Teen!Reader

Was It Worth It? - Hancock x Reader

World On Fire - MacCready x Reader

Gorski Cabin - MacCready x Reader

Wounds - MacCready x Reader

Seaside Sunset - Platonic!Old Longfellow x Reader

Out Of Time - Yandere!Preston x Reader

Neighbor - Sturges x Reader

Headcanons / Reactions

Cait NSFW Alphabet

Curie SFW Alphabet

Desdemona SFW Alphabet

Desdemona NSFW Alphabet

DiMA NSFW Alphabet

Ellie Perkins NSFW Alphabet

Nick SFW Alphabet

Nick NSFW Alphabet

Piper NSFW Alphabet

[Valentine Idolizes You]

[Danse Idolizes You]

[Curie Idolizes You]

[Deacon Idolizes You]

[MacCready Idolizes You]

[Piper Idolizes You]

[Cait Idolizes You]

Nick Being Fatherly To Sole

DiMA As A Dad

Hancock As A Dad

Gage And The Nuka-World Leaders With A Shy!Overboss

Gage And The Nuka-World Leader With A Short!Overboss

Nuka-World Leaders With A Child!Overboss

Nuka-World Leaders With A Black Widow!Overboss

Companions (+Sturges, DiMA, and Travis) Reactions to being taken to Nuka-World

Companions (+Sturges, DiMA, and Travis) Living At Homeplate With Sole

Companions When You Come Out As Queer

Companions (+Sturges, DiMA, and Travis) As Coffee Shop Customes

Companions Favorite Settlements To Stay At

Hancock, Nick, and Danse as Yandere’s

Yandere Deacon, Nick, and Hancock HCs

DiMA HCs

How The Companions (+Maxson and Tinker Tom) Are With Synth!Shaun

Companions As Aesthetics

Companions with a child!Sole

What The Companions Love Language Is

HCs About Being Apart Of The Minutemen

Companions Going To See The Barbie Movie

FNV Companions Interacting With Fo4 Companions

Companions Living In Goodneighbor With Sole

Companions Reactions To Sole Being Emotionally Distraught After Being Separated

Companions MBTI Types

Random Headcanons For The Companions

Companions Reactions To Sole Getting "Suprise Adopted" By A Territorial Deathclaw

NSFW Hancock HCs

Brother!Arcade, Hancock, Fawkes, and Gob With a Teen!Reader

Companions Favorite Place to Kiss Their S/O

Companions With a Mute!Sole

Companions Reactions to a Werewolf!Sole

Factions React To Sole Being With The Enclave

Companions React to Sole Being With The Enclave

Modern Headcanons

Accidentally Giving Sole a Bad Haircut

Fo4 Robots Meeting The New Vegas Robots

Companions Reactions To Sole Introducing Gage As Their Boyfriend

Arcade, Curie, Lily, Fawkes, and Marcus's Reactions to a Scientist Researching FEV

Marrying the Companions at the Castle

[kkusuka]

Hi! I saw your tr headcannons and quick question what would izana's reaction would be if his SO was wearing shorts under the skirt when he flips it?

in a word? gob-smacked.

now, izana is a pretty smart guy. he figure anything out if you give him enough time but there isn’t enough time in the world to figure out the betrayal he just experienced.

he went through all the trouble to get rid of every skort you’d ever owned- he even goes shopping with you to ensure everything you get is either flip-able or can at least be ripped in a timely manner- but going out of your way to put shorts under your skirt, a battle he was not prepared for.

in no way shape or form is he going to take this level of treason.

but- wildly enough, he’s above reaching under your skirt and just pulling them down. no, he’s gonna make sure you never do this again.

“hey iz? we’re you going through my clothes?”

“yes.”

“oh why?”

“just to make some room!”

he donated all of your shorts. every pair but but your black spandex that was about two sizes too small.

and your skirt flipping boyfriend lives another day.

[azuremliam]

My brain is really sleepy rn but pretty full on thoughts about The Boss. Let's see if I can get words™ to work properly. Lot's of rambling under the readmore 👍

I know that they're implied to rule over the "light and dark" over the multiverses but their appearance and their position over all the other cosmic beings gives the vibes of more overseeing "Order and Chaos" + a bit of neutral vibes.

And that color scheme they got going on, specially that gold! (Gold Stars even hah) Makes me wonder if- since they're in charge of everything and feel like they've been around for a long time- if they're potentially originated from a Primordial or something that's been around since the start of nothing?

We don't know that much about Primordials besides that a lot of them have a disdain for living creatures in the universes/just plain tormenting them for their own amusement.

But that's just like??? two of the ones we know about. Other Primordials could've had other agendas or views on the newly formed universes and creatures living in it.

And with the Lich potentially being a transformed one (got lucky I guess, with consuming a comet and getting a new form of ironic life) brings up the thought that what if other Primordials turned into other forms of existence, even "ascended" into Cosmic Beings if they really wanted to? They feel like they range from various amounts of power from Orgalorg being pretty decently managed by Finn and Grob Gob Glob Grog, to Coconteppi having pretty menacing magical powers (even after possessing Peppermint!). But with only two examples its hard to pinpoint the extent Primordials' capabilities are.

Besides being deathless and existing even after their physical forms get ditched.

If The Boss is/was one then they'd probably be a pretty powerful one given the extent of overseeing Cosmic Beings that have various potential over the top powers as well. And how Prismo and Orbo both go "ah shoot" when thinking mentioning them.

-

Speaking of Prismo and Orbo, that brings me to that whole interaction concerning them and The Boss.

Even before Fionna and Cake, with the ordeal with Farm World. Prismo would've for sure gotten in trouble with them had it not been resolved. And man does he know it.

And then with Orbo's reaction to when Scarab mentions talking to The Boss about Prismo.

With Orbo being a boss, he's probably seen them "drop the hammer" on other cosmic beings- and likely knows that there's no 'getting a light slap on the hand' and going about your day like nothing happened.

Maybe even to the point where the cosmic being in question might be deemed to have their existence- well- cease to exist and a new being chosen to replace them.

So with that in mind, it really feels like he's trying to stall for Prismo. He doesn't want his buddy to turning into cosmic dust or something like that. And who knows, maybe he was also hoping that the situation would resolve itself like it did with Farmworld Enchiridion situation?

But anyways. Hell, Orbo immediately bumps him into a different area the moment he brings up calling their boss. Really feels like he doesn't want Scarab to bring him to The Boss's attention because there's no escaping that once you're on that "in serious trouble" radar.

And when Scarab doesn't let up on his mission- Orbo's probably thinking "WELL DAMN DUDE, you got no chill. Gonna have to deal with this myself so Prismo can have a chance to fix things and the boss doesn't notice yet."

Before getting interrupted by The Boss who most definitely caught wind of things, and wanted to get to solving the issue already. All those glitches in the multiverses Fionna and Cake popped in are probably not discreet. That "Aw nuts, it's the boss!" really makes it feel that once The Boss knows something's up- no getting outta it.

Also, yes, it's pretty much Orbo playing favorites, definitely. No denying that.

But feels like he's not out to get Scarab personally- just more like "SHHHHH- SHHH SHUT UP DUDE YOU'RE GONNA GET PRISMO IN TROUBLE" and Scarab is "OF COURSE- I WANT HIM TO GET IN TROUBLE"

And those calls for other god auditing jobs might've also been Orbo trying to have a reason to summon him up to that Cosmic waiting room, who knows? Point is, once you're in trouble with The Boss. You're IN trouble.

The Boss feels like the kind of being that goes "Let's see how this plays out" to "You messed up, now you got to own up to it- no excuses" and "Things are in order now, no need to hassle these people/this world". Given how they tell Scarab to stop when Fionna's universe gets legit BUT also transporting Scarab easily to where Simon is so he could properly do his job when it wasn't.

And if Scarab has succeeded, and Golbetty not interfered and authorized Fionna's universe, then Prismo most likely would've faced serious consequences for his unauthorized universe.

But since things worked out, because of Golbetty giving the seal of approval on the universe, they pretty much just went, "Okay then, no need to deal with this. It's authorized. Drop it and go back to doing your other missions."

Besides the point, but I'd be endlessly amused if they show this dramatic reveal of The Boss in season two and they're just -

on a pedestal or something. Hahah they're PrimorDial

[archoneddzs15]

Sonic 30th Anniversary Symphony (2021) - My reaction 3 years later

I am going to admit one thing. I am a Sonic fan, and it has always been this way since 2006 when I got my hands on Sonic Advance 3 for my Game Boy Advance SP. At the time I was one year away from starting elementary school and my family was not well off at the time, so I had to make do with what I could play. Little did I know that my first encounter with the blue hedgehog would change my life forever as I know it today.

Then as I grew older I was able to get some extra games for the systems I did own, such as my childhood 32 bit console, the Sega Saturn. I got Sonic Jam which was my first gateway drug to the classic 16-bit Sonic games, and I even got to roam around in the Sonic World for a bit, doing tasks like collecting rings and such. The Sonic series has its ups and downs, sure, but there is one thing that the Sonic series never fails on, and it became even more apparent when I saw this comment on one particular live-stream where a music teacher was gob-smacked by how fuckin' awesome the Sonic Adventure 2 soundtrack was!

Anyway, this little long-winded intro out of the way, though it still rings true as the picture says. Let's get right into it. As a 30th anniversary birthday present to Sega's premier franchise Sonic the Hedgehog in 2021, Sega decided "Why not make it bigger and better?" They got some Czech Republic philharmonic orchestra to do the orchestrated medleys for many a Sonic game under the sun, all of which remain one of my favorites. Keep in mind, this Symphony came out before Sonic Frontiers and Superstars. Also, I am not the best in terms of being a music critic unlike the Anthony Fantano types so my reviews of them are going to be relatively brief.

Part 1: Countdown

The music playing during the first 15 minutes of countdown is nothing short of spectacular. The track list is as follows:

A New Journey - Sonic Unleashed

Comfort Zone (Main Menu) - Sonic Mania/Plus

Sonic Goes U.G. Mix - Sonic Gems Collection

Fist Bump (Piano Version - Theater Room) - Sonic Forces

Mission (theme of Sonic 3D Blast) - Sonic Generations

Tropical Resort (Area Theme) - Sonic Colours

Part 2: The Orchestra

The Philarmonic Orchestra masterfully conducted a beautiful rearrangement of almost every Sonic game's soundtrack out there. I say "almost every" because for the Orchestra portion it's missing Sonic CD, the GBA and DS Sonic games and Sonic Boom. But that's minor substitutions in favor of something a lot grander, and I appreciate it. I mean, they even represented games like Sonic Drift 2 and Tails Adventures! Even NiGHTS got a shoutout. How about that for cool?

Part 3: Tomoya Ohtani

Tomoya Ohtani Band. Oh man, what can I say? Well, they played three songs, so let's get right to it.

Reach for the Stars (Re-Colors)

The Re-Colors version of Reach for the Stars as found in Sonic Colours Ultimate, the remaster of the Nintendo Wii game now available on PS4/5, XBOX, Switch and PC. This song absolutely rocked the socks off when I first played the original game on the Wii, and this arrangement is even better still.

Speak with Your Heart (Original + Rainbow Mix)

Things go normal for the first few minutes of this song, which I like, and then Tomoya Ohtani drops a bombshell when it turns into the "Rainbow Mix" which has a trap beat type vibe to it. I love it!

Endless Possibility from Sonic Unleashed (vocals: Nathan Sharp)

Nathan Sharp is the guy who sings covers of Sonic songs under the best name you could ever give, "NateWantsToBattle" under his record label "Give Heart Records". Endless Possibility is a song that people have loved for years and years and years. It's a song which was originally performed by the same people that did the vocal intro for Phineas and Ferb. Nathan Sharp swoops in and delivers the BEST version of the song yet!

Part 4: Crush 40 (Jun Senoue & Johnny Gioeli)

Crush 40 is also a staple among Sonic fans. From hit songs like Open Your Heart, Live and Learn, Sonic Heroes, I Am... All of Me, and so on, their music has touched lives everywhere around the world. Fun fact, they used to be known as Sons of Angels for a short period of time, where some of their Sons of Angels-era songs were used in the Sega arcade game NASCAR Arcade. The songs in NASCAR Arcade would be released in the only music album to bear the Sons of Angels artist name, "Thrill of the Feel". Speaking of which, they sang six songs before adding two more after fans (this was in 2021 and we were still in lockdown so....) "demanded" more from them. Fun fact: Jun Senoue also did some songs for the Game no Kanzume "Sega Games Can" discs for the Sega Mega CD. Johnny Gioeli also provided vocals for another band under his wing called Hardline. The six initial songs are as follows, which all really will rock your sound system off.

Open Your Heart (Sonic Adventure)

Sonic Heroes

Green Light Ride (Team Sonic Racing)

Sonic Boom (Sonic CD) (Crush 40 VS Cash Cash version)

I Am... All of Me (Shadow the Hedgehog)

Knight of the Wind (Sonic and the Black Knight)

Part 5: The Grand Finale Songs

Whooo~!!! Here comes the big ones. Two legendary songs all from one game. All before ending it off with an orchestrated mix of "Friends" by Hyper Potions.

These two songs are all from one of the best Sonic games of all time, Sonic Adventure 2.

Escape from the City (vocals: Nathan Sharp)

No one in their right mind would want to tell you that this song from after Sonic jumps off the helicopter in a bid to escape GUN forces is not legendary.

Yet here is Escape from the City, one of the BEST Sonic songs. And, of course, another spotlight by the King of Sonic song covers, Nathan Sharp. The Philarmonic Orchestra also added to the grand vibe of the song by making it even better still.

Live and Learn

There's nothing I can say. One of the GOAT (Greatest of All Time) Sonic songs just got a whole lot better.

[danses-with-dogmeat]

Big big fan of your work!!

🦀 👑 for Gob with mutual pining f!lone please!

"Hold still. This might sting a little."

Ahh thank you! And omg, yesssssss.

I love Gob, we love Gob, everybody loves Gob, let's do this thing.

I hope you like it!

"Enough. Moriarty." His name left you as a snarl. "Let go of him."

Your eyes stayed glued to the Irishman's as his brows stayed furrowed, as he sneered.

"What'd I tell ya about brining guns into me bar, lad/lass?"

You made a show taking the safety off as you pointed your pistol to Colin's head.

"I wasn't asking."

A dull thud sounded as Moriarty's balled fist released him, and Gob slid down to the hardwood floor.

"Are you alright?" You dared to let your eyes leave Moriarty as you glanced down to Gob's crumpled form, as he made slow moves up into a seated position.

His hands were shaking as he grabbed onto the side of the bar to hold himself steady, but he nodded.

"Come on, then." You held out an arm, and Gob hesitated, looking tentatively up at his boss's furious expression.

"Gob."

Your voice snapped his attention back to you.

"Let's go."

"Fine. Go on, then. You can go ahead and take him, but I expect ya ne're to set foot back in this bar again. And you," blue-grey eyes narrowed as he threw his fury Gob's way. "I expect to see ya back here in the mornin'. Still got a debt to me, you know."

The ghoul swallowed, but your arm quickly took his, and with your pistol still trained on the Irishman, you exited the bar with Gob at your side.

--

"Sorry you had to see that." Gob's voice was quiet from the sofa of your Megaton house.

"I'm sorry too." You voiced as you grabbed the supplies you needed from the kitchen area. "One of these days, I'm really gonna make that asshole pay for the way he's treated you all this time."

You stepped back into the living room and sat down beside him, setting a tub of the cleanest water you could find, some rubbing alcohol, and a rag between you.

"No. N-no, I'm not gonna make you deal with that. Moriarty, he's... he'll get back at you. No matter what you do, he'll do worse."

"Not if he's dead." You spoke almost without thinking, fury still pulsing through your veins at the way you'd seen him. Standing over Gob, bloodied knuckles raised high as he laid into the ghoul again and again and again.

Gob's face had gotten the worst of it, and now his left eye was so swollen over, you could hardly see it. If he'd still had a nose, it surely would've been broken in at least three places.

"Lone, you don't mean that..." He rasped out, his good eye wide with surprise at your bluntness.

You sighed, wetting the washcloth in the small basin before holding it up to his cracked, bloodied cheek. He winced as you dragged it over his wound, holding his breath as you washed the crusting blood away.

"Sorry." You said at his reaction, "It's just... He deserves it. I don't know if I could really be the one to pull the trigger, but after everything he's done, someone oughta do it."

You wrung out the cloth and loaded it with water again, taking more care this time as you brushed it lightly over his eye.

"After today though... I tell you, I was close, Gob."

He flinched nearly the whole time, at every brush you made over him, but in the end, you could see the details of his face again, even below the quickly-forming bruises.

"Lone...?" He asked quietly, not daring to look you in the eye as you washed the cloth in the water below.

"Hm?" You grabbed the bottle of rubbing alcohol and dipped the cloth into it.

"Why do you care so much?"

Your hands paused, the cloth becoming almost too saturated, enough so that it began to drip down onto the couch. Until you blinked and set the bottle down on the coffee table beside you.

"I... Gob, why wouldn't I care? What he was doing... Anyone would have come to help."

The ghoul shook his head firmly, his good eye wide with disbelief.

"No one ever has. All the years I've been with him... No one's ever tried to stop it."

He swallowed hard, looking away.

"I'm not worth it."

Your chest ached at the words, at the definitive way he spoke them.

"Well... You're worth it to me."

You heard Gob's breath catch in his throat, and when he turned back to face you, his good eye glistened with emotion.

You smiled at him sadly

"Now, hold still, okay? This one might sting a little." You brushed your fingers over one cheek, to keep him in place as the other raised the cloth to his wounds, to where Moriarty's blows had separated his already marred skin.

"Lone?" He spoke quietly as you worked, being as gentle as possible with the cloth as your fingers so lightly caressed his other cheek.

"Yes, Gob?"

"Thank you."

[nighttimeclassics]

why does expressing yourself suck so much - emotions fucking suck.

honestly this is a venting of aggravations more than anything, but I just need to get it out of my body.

why is living out loud, and expressing genuine emotion always met with disdain??? to preface what brought this on, i wrote my friend a book for his birthday - which I was nervous about because it was a last minute decision. i was initially making him a blanket, but I ran out of yarn SO FAST, and couldn't get any more so in a panic wrote him a mythology book because that is something we both enjoy,. I felt bad about it though because he's dyslexic and hates reading books, but the only thing I could afford was spending my own time, because I have no money, so it was the only thing I could think of. and he painted me the most amazing dragon for my birthday a few months back. on top of that, he is one of my best and only friends. i don't know if he knows that. he lives hundreds of miles away and has a solid social network, so I don't know if he knows he's one of the most important people in my life. fuck me that's depressing. but I know Im not one of his closest friends by a long way. i don't think I'm anyone closest friend. shit. he didn't have a bad reaction to the gift, he seems to have liked it, but these reactions were over text, so i cant read the tone at all. i thought it was weird as well considering when it was my birthday, we opened my present together over facetime, so we could talk about it, so why was this over text? but also i just have to keep reminding myself that I'm probably hormonal at the minute and reading too much into everything, especially with the rsd.

but you know, being autistic, with alexithymia and rejection sensitivity dysphoria i have a complicated relationship with birthdays. i have always loved giving people presents to show how much they mean to me, but i learnt very quickly that my elaborate weirdly personal gifts weren't appreciated by most people so i stopped doing that a while ago. but you know, recently i thought fuck that, i want to be my authentic self. i am a stupidly emotional person and i am ridiculously devoted to those i love, friends and family alike. but people always misread my emotions, assuming i fancy them or stuff like that, to the point i even have to question myself - like a reverse of that moment in arrested development when Gob and that magician think they are in love with one another but its just friendship. people should really realise given how ace i am that i am not in love with them, at least as far as i am aware. but god forbid i try and do anything nice, i just don't understand why it makes people uncomfortable? especially when i a, only 'revealing' myself in this way who i feel comfortable around - in line with my efforts in unmasking myself.

and our friendhsip is tentative anyways because he's thought I had feelings for him a while ago - but I don't think that I do - everyone always thinks I'm in love with my friends. but its not my fault that we are all queer, suspected or confirmed neurodivergent nerds. I'm rambling like there is no tomorrow but I think basically what I'm saying is that his reaction made me overthink everything (it doesn't help that we went from talking on facetime a lot to now only talking on text after the accusation that I had feelings for him back in like January) I only just got him back as a friend, I don't want to lose him and I wish I was allowed to live out loud and express myself the way I want to without judgement from society, and those that I trust. I'm bored of hiding myself or walking on eggshells. and I feel like a twat because all of this is over a fucking shitty birthday present that I probably shouldn't have written in the first place. fucks sake. i hold on too tight to people I think. and that is never received well. i try to be normal in my friendships - especially the two I have at the minute. i get that they are the only two friends I have, and they have a bunch so I try not to annoy them when they are the only people I can talk to, but I don't think its working. gods all of this is just a fucking pity party and I need to get a fucking grip jesus christ

[anonymous-tals]

In Switch Hitter, not only did Gob expect Stan Sitwell to be disappointed and mad at him for failing, but his family did too. While it wasn’t integral to the plan, it was something they were definitely hoping for. I mean, if he wasn’t upset, what was even the point of all this? But seeing Gob as a disappointment and disposable and unlovable, and people getting mad at him for the most insignificant things is so normalized to them that they forgot that people are normal and they don’t, as a rule, hate Gob just because he exists or just because he might not be the best at everything, and ultimately the family’s deluded sense of how Gob is perceived, a culmination of the years of all of them living in a bubble of Gob being verbally and emotionally abused and neglected by George and Lucille, leads to their plans backfiring because Stan’s actually nice to Gob in spite of a flaw. After getting that support, Gob abandons the plans and hits a home run. And I doubt Stan’s reaction would’ve changed much even if Gob had gotten onto the team through different means and had never given the impression he was some business wizard. Like, even if they hardly interacted going up to it, I really doubt Stan would’ve been rude to him and would’ve still had a supportive reaction, cause Stan Sitwell is someone one might call a decent person. Ya know, treats people like human beings and isn’t needlessly cruel. I know, bizarre, I’ve never even heard of such a thing(/s).

Also, this is tangent but I just wanna talk about it anyway: Stan definitely knows about the awful way George and Lucille treated their kids. Like, I don’t think he would’ve gotten a man in his late 30s a baseball mitt and offer to play catch if it wasn’t because he knew how much that would mean to him. When Stan hires Gob, it’s not just because Gob’s got chutzpah or whatever-and this is where some competition actually does come in- it’s also because he, in my mind, wants to prove that the Bluth Company’s most underestimated employee could actually be his most valuable. I mean, it doesn’t really make sense for him to just randomly hire Gob, and I like to believe that the Bluths were wrong in assuming it was done specifically for the softball game. Stan asked Gob for work ideas and if it was just for the game and he didn’t care about Gob as an employee or a person, it wouldn’t make sense for him to do that. I really do think that the saw something in Gob.

I have to imagine, though, that as much as Stan was familiar with him, he probably wasn’t so much familiar with him in recent years, and even still, he wasn’t ever around Gob 24/7. He probably mostly saw him at public functions and/or heard of his antics when George complained about him. In whatever way, he was witness to Gob’s mistreatment and he was likely witness to Gob’s less than stellar behavior but he identified Gob’s misbehavior as a result of this mistreatment rather than Gob being bad and an idiot being a fact of life. He also probably saw that Gob(at least as I’ve interpreted him) is a pretty creative person: he’s done puppet shows, he’s recorded music and magic has a lot of creative flair to it. Sure, he’s far from perfect when it comes to execution but the point is that he has ideas. All he needs is a little guidance, right? Gob isn’t inherently an idiot, he was a (neurodivergent, in my mind)kid failed by his family, the education system and the world as a whole. Stan is right in not believing Gob is worthless or inherently incapable.

…But I think he probably underestimated just what a difficult case Gob would be. Now, that’s not me saying he isn’t worthy of being helped, of course not, but it’s not as easy as just giving him guidance, at least not anymore. Maybe as a kid it would’ve been different but in current-then times, Gob is in his late 30s and breaking habits and mindsets that have been going on for that long is difficult, and it’s especially gonna be hard since it’s surrounding business stuff, which Gob is not good at nor is he knowledgeable about. It’s an environment that he, someone with a short attention span and is very inconsistent, does not easily thrive in. And on top of that, Gob is unstable and flaky and lazy and that all speaks to larger issues with his mental health and self esteem issues that Stan is not equipped to properly deal with and those things are really what always kick any progress Gob makes in the head. Sticking with him and taking him under his wing would be a bit of a full time job.

I’d like to believe that Stan didn’t grow to hate Gob by the end of his time working at the company. Just sort of realized he was in over his head trying to help him and that he wasn’t gonna be the one to accomplish the feat, especially since Gob clearly does not flourish in the world of business, support or not; and if there was support, he’d need…oy, just so much support. He’d be teaching him everything, starting from the most basic things, and that would require Gob actually paying attention and following through, two things Gob is not good at, and ya know, understandably, that’s not exactly how he was looking to be spending his time. But even after his patience had worn thin, I’d like to believe he had a more sympathetic point of view; believed that, if by some sort of miracle, Gob becomes a sufficiently enough functional person, maybe he’ll thrive in some other field.

My second concluding point is that Gob needs therapy.

Uhhhhh, essay over.

[lathan-chillyfilm]

Meet the Uncannins

Outside the protected city of Mixopolis live these mysterious Mixels of unknown origin. Nobody knows where they came from or why they are here. All that is known is that they’re Mixels… Or so they claim to be.

The genetics back it up. Something is just… Off.

Welcome, to the Uncannin Valley.

The lands of the Uncannin reside in the depths of the Uncannin Valley, surrounded by hills steep enough to be uncomfortable to walk up, but not steep enough to climb. The interior? Similarly wavy, the landscape looking more fluid than earthly.

Cameras can capture color here perfectly well. But in person, the windows of the Uncannin huts look like eyes, in the uncomfortable darkness of dull & muted colors. Peripheral vision is worthless here, as at the right angle & with enough blur; Anything here can look to be staring back at you.

Residents:

OffKilter (Right) - The leader of the Uncannin, this boxy freak of nature screams “Wrong” in every categorical sense. A lack of mouth, a questionable look in his eyes, and dull colors. Worst of all however, is his freakishly lanky arms & legs, which snap, curl, twist, & contort themselves, in manners too stiff to be human, but too fluidly to be a machine. Inquisitive, grim, quiet… All words that could be used to describe his personality, but overall? Eerie would be most fitting.

Gobber-Gawk (Left) - The second member of the tribe, Gobber-Gawk is also the shortest, toddling about with his shrunken legs & overweight body. But ultimately, appearances don’t matter; It’s his voice that will truly mess with you. Any Mixel, from Flain to Zaptor, from Glurt to Scorpi, will tell you that they know that voice, even if memory serves right. Thus, Gobber-Gawk is surrounded by an air of mystery, leading many down historical rabbit holes of where & when such a voice was heard… Sometimes for the worst of their health & safety.

Garbargle - The last member of the Uncannins, & easily the most Uncanny, Garbargle is a true horror of the depths, with his broad stature & ginormous gob. Most curious about this otherworldly stranger is his biology. Faced with a concerning amount of motor function & a lack of sanity, Garbargle often puts on faces for emotions that don’t exist, often for entertainment, which makes his appearance all the more creepy for foreigners; Their reactions, he believes, are a sign of gratitude for his creativity, which couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Inspirations include the Mandela Catalogue & Analogue Horror, as well as Mixels.

What do you think?

[zettasteria]

Return to Streaming Tonight!

hiiiiiiiii tumblr sorry i didnt post this like a week earlier but I'm having my comeback stream in a couple hours!

I'll be streaming on Twitch and YouTube!

4PM CST/5PM EST!

[teriri-sayes]

Reactions to Chaos Creator's Chapter 289

Brief summary: Cale warns Emperor Alt to choose between him or the dragons. Cale gives Clopeh the guardian knight's sword.

==========

Emperor Alt was walking on a tightrope, balancing between Cale and the dragons. Cale thought he was sly, but also foolish, so he warned the emperor.

Alt snitched on Cale to Exion about what Cale had done, but kept his agreement with Cale a secret. Unfortunately for him, the wind elementals in the palace snitched on him to Cale. 😂 Good luck outsmarting Cale... 😂😂😂

Cale told Alt about the world's imminent destruction, and adviced Alt to make a choice. Will he used as a pawn by the dragons, and die along with the world? Or will he side with Cale and live as a hero of Aipotu? It was advice, but it was more like a threat when it came out of Cale's mouth. 😂 And Cale scared Alt without even using his DA.

Cale messaged GoD to send people from the Central Plains to Aipotu while GoB had gone crazy from GoC's antics. In exchange, he'd offer GoB information about GoC. Or not. I'm actually confused on this part because the machine translation was confusing regardless of what machine translator I used.

Anyway, I'm excited to see Heavenly Demon soon. And Cale planned to bring the Tang Clan of Sichuan too, because you know, the Dragon Lord destroyed Sichuan, their home, so they'd obviously be furious at the Dragon Lord.

The last part of the chapter was Cale meeting Clopeh to give the sword. Of course, since Clopeh was involved, this was bound to be hilarious. 🤣🤣🤣

Narrator: Cale found himself face-to-face with a very unharmed, very bright, and very much in good spirits Clopeh. Clopeh: *gets down on one knee* Cale-nim. As your guardian knight, I will devote my everything to defend this position. Cale: (Ah. Although this is the result I wanted, but ah. Ah, why are you like this...) Cale: Annoying. Cale: (Wait, did I say that aloud? Oops, let's smile brightly at him then. But seeing him liking it is annoying me.) Cale: Here, take it. *gives wooden sword to Clopeh* Clopeh: *receives wooden sword* Cale: (Now, he only needs to sprinkle some of his blood on the sword and make it recognize him as its owner.) Clopeh: *sprinkles blood and mentally talks to the sword* Clopeh: !!! *gets angry* Clopeh: How dare you compare a dragon to Cale-nim? Sword: *shaking as if trying to escape from Clopeh* Clopeh: *smiles and says with a gentle voice* You can't escape. Raon: Human, human! Clopeh has gone crazy! Cale: (Well...) Raon: He's a little scary! Cale: (...Yeah, he's indeed a little scary.) Cale, Raon, and CH: *takes a step back from Clopeh*

I think we now know why the chapter title is "Cale-nim is better than a dragon." 🤣🤣🤣

Ending Remarks Clopeh's actions continue to amuse me. 🥰 Next chapter is... I don't know. Maybe we'll get a glimpse of Clopeh's conversation with the sword? Or we'll get a time skip to Cale meeting Exion? Or Cale will finally remember to tell DHB his new name?

[everydayyoulovemeless]

FNV Masterlist

Oneshots / Drabbles

Acta Non Verba - Arcade x Reader

Vault 22 - Arcade x Reader

Obedient - Arcade x Reader (NSFW)

Disheveled- Arcade x Reader (NSFW)

Dear Hearts - Cass x Reader

Adventure - Dean x Reader

Old Fashioned - The King x Reader

A Night Out - Veronica x Reader

Metallic Embrace - Yes Man x Reader

Headcanons / Reactions

Arcade NSFW Alphabet

Boone SFW Alphabet

Cass SFW Alphabet

Joshua SFW Alphabet

Joshua NSFW Alphabet

Yandere Joshua Alphabet

Mr. House NSFW Alphabet

Ulysses SFW Alphabet

Ulysses NSFW Alphabet

Victor NSFW Alphabet

Vulpes NSFW Alphabet

Yes Man NSFW Alphabet

Romantic Benny HCs

Romantic Benny HCs: 2

Romantic Dr. Dala HCs

Romantic Ulysses HCs

Romantic Yes Man HCs

Arcade, Boone, and Raul as Yandere's

How the Companions (+Yes Man and Victor) Show Their Love

Companions When You Come Out As Queer

Working For Mr. House After Hoover Dam

The Companions Taste In Music

Dean, Christine, and God/Dog as Yandere’s

How The Companions (+Yes Man and The King) Act When They’re Jealous

Companions (+Yes Man and Benny) Reactions To Being Taken To The Sierra Madre

Arcade With A S/O Who Has 1 Intelligence

How The Companions (+Benny and Joshua) React When You’re Exhausted

Companions Living Together

Big MT Scientists With A Sick!Reader

Living in Big MT with the Think Tank

Companions With A Bad Karma!Reader

Companions (+Christine and Benny) With A Shy!Courier

Birthday HCs

FNV Companions Interacting With Fo4 Companions

Clingy!Boone HCs

Joshua Graham With A M!Courier

FNV Companions Reactions To Being Taken To Big MT

Companions (+Victor and Yes Man) Ranked From Best to Worst Yandere’s

Companion's Reactions To Having Killed One Of The Predators

Companions Reactions To Killing A Xenomorph

Companions (+Ulysses) With A Teen!Courier

Brother!Arcade, Hancock, Fawkes, and Gob With a Teen!Reader

Companions Reactions to it Snowing

Compsanions (+Yes Man, Victor, and Benny) Responses to No Nut November

Ulysses, Joshua, Dean, Christine, and Follows-Chalk Reactions To No Nut November

Companions (+Yes Man, Victor, and Benny) Responses to Destroy Dick December

Ulysses, Joshua, Dean, Christine, and Follows-Chalk Responses to Destroy Dick December

Arcade, Raul, Vulpes, Ulysses, and Joshua Parenting an Orphan Child

Companions Reactions to a Courier who Speaks Latin

Companions (+Vulpes) With a Top F!Courier

Comepanions (+Christine, Dean, and God/Dog) Reacting to a Ghost Seeker Who's Still Sentient

HCs For Working Under General Lee Oliver

Fo4 Robots Meeting The New Vegas Robots

Arcade, Curie, Lily, Fawkes, and Marcus's Reactions to a Scientist Researching FEV 

Companions Reactions to the Courier Faking an Orgasm

Faking An Orgasm With Benny, Victor, Yes Man, and Joshua

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Awkwardness Masterlist

a change of heart and a silver lining (ao3) - bellawritess luke/calum T, 18k

Summary: Calum’s not obsessed with routine or anything, but he does become accustomed to certain constants in life. Michael is always about eight minutes late. Ashton always records vocals barefoot. Calum always knows the person behind the register at Bake Station.

Except today. Today it’s a stranger, though admittedly a stranger who looks enough like Jack that Calum can easily connect the dots.

“Hi there,” says the bloke in Jack’s place, giving Calum a bright smile. “What can I get for you today?”

If this is Luke Hemmings, Calum’s fucked.

(OR: wrong number AU and strangers to lovers bakery AU battled and this was the outcome.)

And Action - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) luke/calum, michael/ashton E, 24k

Summary: Calum won’t lie about it. His Best Friend’s Boyfriend’s Ex-Boyfriend is super cute.

Awkward Is The New Cute (ao3) - ashsparagus calum/ashton N/R, 3k

Summary: Ashton's awkward, Calum's in love, Luke sets them up, and Michael isn't in this one.

Because it was you I called it a different story (ao3) - phanjessmagoria michael/calum E, 8k

Summary: Michael found himself saying words that he didn’t really think he had had any intention, or reason, to say.

“I’m Michael, by the way.”

The librarian paused, tore the receipt that printed out and tucked it into the front cover of the book. He held up Michael’s library card. “I know.” He gave a wry smile and slid the book over to Michael, placing his card on top of it with a snap.

“Right, yeah,” Michael said. He took the book, but when he saw the librarian turning away, checking if there was anyone waiting in line, he blurted out, “What’s your name?”

The brown eyes were back on him, their inherent warmth radiating out from them even with the slightly bemused expression that was on the man’s face, until finally, he spoke. “Calum.”

Beginnings (ao3) - thenewbrokenscene michael/luke M, 40k

Summary: [College/University AU] Michael Clifford was a sophomore transfer student, trapped living in the dorms again after a technicality dropped him back down to freshman status. He had requested a single room, determined to focus on his school work, get out of university housing as quickly as possible, and start his real life, but of course, on August 1st he received the obligatory "Get to know your new roommate this summer! You can contact Luke Hemmings, freshman student, at his school email..." message in his inbox.

Daydreams - @daydadahlias​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) michael/ashton, luke/calum T, 6k

Summary: It's not Michael's fault the owner of Fletcher's Flowers is so good-looking. And no one—Luke—should be able to blame him for wanting to come to the shop and admire the pretty buff man with large delicate hands as he assembles bouquets or pets his cat.

He Looks So Perfect (ao3) - Emmybazy luke/calum G, 3k

Summary: It’s not creepy to have a crush on someone you’ve never spoken to. It’s not. Right?

Or, Luke and Calum take the same subway to work.

how did we end up talking in the first place? (ao3) - hemmingscliffords michael/luke E, 3k

Summary: Michael Clifford, senior. Probably been gobbed off more times than any person Luke can think of. He's got this fucking awesome blonde hair with a too-good-to-be-true fringe, and his lips are big and puffy and he's the perfect mixture of pretty and rugged when he has stubble.

And Luke's fancied him for as long as he can remember.

if you ever feel alone, don't. (ao3) - galacticsugar michael/luke T, 5k

Summary: Michael needs a tall man with broad shoulders and a slim waist and he needs one now. Not for sexy reasons, although he wouldn’t turn one down for that. No, he needs a fit model for his design final project that is due in exactly 9 hours, and his usual model is in the hospital after having an allergic reaction to unannounced shellfish in the dining hall pasta.

I’ll Take My Pizza AND the Pizza Guy (ao3) - eyecrinkleskink luke/calum T, 1k

Summary: luke is really awkward and calum is a pizza delivery boy.

just give me one more quiet night (ao3) - iambic_pulse ot4 E, 5k

Summary: Ashton needs to be needed, but now that they’re all older and his bandmates are more independent, they probably don’t need him quite so much anymore.

Mix It Up (ao3) - mukedayparade michael/luke, calum/ashton N/R, 3k

Summary: the one where Luke is a hopeless romantic in need of a new boyfriend, and Michael is a moody, socially-awkward college dropout who Calum just wants to stop intruding on his dates with Ashton. what better way to solve both their problems than a gay mixer?

Noise Complaints (ao3) - mukedayparade michael/luke N/R, 2k

Summary: the one where luke just wants to take a nap and his neighbor is obnoxiously loud

(not quite) zero questions (ao3) - yehwellwhatever michael/luke G, 100

Summary: The mood was tense after their conversation the night before.

sail along, let your path unfold (ao3) - deserteyes, TheseEmptySoundsAndEndlessStories luke/calum T, 6k

Summary: His heart's beating frantically with nerves. He doesn't know why; it's not like he's going to propose or anything. Just say "Hey, my name's Luke, I'm your new neighbor, nice to meet you" or something like that. Easy. He's got this, one hundred percent.

--

Luke gets a new neighbor.

The Catch (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes) michael/luke T, 6k

Summary: Michael Clifford, the town witch and most eligible bachelor, announces that he'll only date the person who manages to get the key from around his cat's neck. Luke Hemmings, the awkward local photographer, keeps accidentally running into the cat, even though he knows he has no chance with Michael.

[teachablemomentsblog]

Heart Map: The IHOP Story (Part One)

“Just write about your life.” Ugh.

Every school year, when I taught freshmen, I began with personal narrative writing. I started students with a relatable writing unit, to generate confidence and stamina, hopefully to ease the transition when we moved onto other types of writing, like expository and persuasive essays. Already sounds fun, right?

The last year I taught freshmen, while we discussed personal narrative topics, we created an idea generator which consisted of a crude coloring sheet heart with gobs of white space in the middle. This was meant to help students “open up” and encourage stories that resonated “close to the heart.” I called this our Heart Map. Sadly, most of the time, produced erratic results. A lot of them felt too cool for school to write down anything remotely resembling emotions. Either that, or it didn’t phase them at all and they obliterated my heart map ideas, making me feel like an idiot for opening up about ex-girlfriends while they wrote about family members passing, absentee parents, or other somber events from their lives. From that point forward, I focused on turning their negatives into positives. I have had soul-crushing, beaten-down moments, just like everyone else. But, looking back, at least I can say I learned something! What else can I do besides try to evolve from each and every experience?

 Before my students began their (apparently) perilous journey through their emotions, I showed them my Heart Map. Without trying (although secretly trying), it quickly overwhelmed them. I expected this to happen. Every year, when I showed my model, I watched for reactions. After multiple years and attempts to perfect my Heart Map, I’ve had time to refine my example. It’s an explosion of ideas with singular heartfelt moments squishing against others as I cram them into the tiny, white blob in the middle of my paper. As I posted mine this year, the kids automatically looked down at their own hearts with skepticism.

“Now, I know what you’re thinking. ‘Mr. Rust, there is no way my Heart Map is going to look like that. My life is boring.’ (At least I assume that’s what they were thinking. If they weren’t, then I’m terribly rude.) I promise you, it doesn’t have to fill the entire thing at all. Use it as an idea generator! If you think of something later, you can add it! Just try to think about it for now and use the map as your guide!”

The students continued gazing into the purgatory of their heart-shaped coloring sheet.

“Okay, how about this. If you give me a sincere effort, I’ll tell you one of the stories I’ve written up here on my Heart Map.”

Instantly, everyone’s eyes lit up. At this point, I knew which one-liner blurbs tantalized and which didn’t, so everything I had written down led towards curiosity and engagement. 

An outspoken student named Katie piped up. “Ooo...mister! Leaving a girl at IHOP! You have to tell that one, mister!”

Something I failed to mention, for this lesson, besides writing out intimate moments from their lives, I also asked them to add one or two emotion words that best expressed how they felt during this time. My students pulled these from a basic Emotion Wheel I had pulled off the internet. (So, between the heart map coloring sheet and the internet emotion wheel, clearly I had pulled out all the stops for this teaching unit.) Beneath the IHOP description I had written a single word: SATISFIED. A flurry of questions quickly followed once Katie had broken the seal.

“You left her, mister?”

“What did she do?”

“You didn’t feel bad?”

I let them vomit questions for a few more seconds before I brought them back together. I had them exactly where I wanted.

“Let’s get to work first, before we get into the story. Give it your best effort and really think about the emotions attached to those events! Oh, and no. I didn’t feel bad. She deserved it. Now, work!”

The motivation that came from getting to hear how their English teacher ditched a girl at a diner chain felt unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Collectively, the class locked in, chewing on the backs of erasers, quietly discussing with one another, creating their own Heart Maps. This continued for the bulk of the class. Magic.

(Note: When I do this, I will admit, a little voice always tells me their motivation should stem from more than getting to hear a mildly inappropriate backstory from their teacher. I don’t have to do this for all my kids, but some of my students’ lack of exposure to independent thinking and learning makes some form of extrinsic motivation necessary. What better motivation than Mr. Rust leaving a girl at IHOP?)

With ten minutes to go, and my pedometer racking up the steps helping students around the class, I asked everyone to put their composition books away and had my Folder Buddy pick up folders. Katie quickly chimed in.

“Okay, mister! Quit stalling! Tell us the story! We only have ten minutes!”

I stroked my chin, pretending to think. “Hmm...yeah, you’re right. I’m not sure I can get through this story in ten minutes. I’m sure we can find some time on another da-”

“Ugh! Come on, mister! Just tell us! (I have also clarified my name to my students multiple times by this point in the year. I also have it posted on my door. But, get them nice and worked up and...poof! It disappears and I’m simplified to “Mister! Hey! Mister!” A common occurrence throughout this book.)

I pulled my stool to the middle of the room and began. (For the sake of this book, I have extended these versions of the stories. Had I told this version in class, I WOULD NOT have made my ten-minute mark.)

…

All of this happened in the summer of 2006, the year I graduated high school. At the time, I stayed in an efficiency house in my mom’s backyard and hadn’t moved to Huntsville yet, for my first semester at Sam Houston State University. It hadn’t sunk in that high school was really over, which all seniors have to come to terms with at some point. I had grown bored and secretly a little scared about my lack of direction. I graduated and expected some giant banner over my head validating what a great job I did sleeping through classes and flirting with classmates to get my high school diploma. Way to go! (Maybe that wasn’t everyone’s experience.) Even though I had a piece of paper that told me I had accomplished something, it didn’t feel that way. So, rather than facing this emotional crossroads head on, just like any other underwhelming eighteen-year-old, I put my time and energy into finding a distraction!

I started by posting on MySpace to see if any other similarly aimless friends wanted to go to the IHOP across Highway 105 and drink coffee to commemorate our newly-found adulthood. (Also, this IHOP is not THE IHOP from the story’s title. Apparently I can’t NOT eat at IHOP.) After a series of monotonous, late-night visits to the restaurant with friends who miraculously responded to my plea, I still could not shake my malaise. Although, I will admit, it did make me feel better to know others felt lost with me.

Since, coffee hadn’t met my need for a distraction from the aimless void of my future, back to MySpace I went! And this time, I planned, if you wanted to call it a plan, to meet new people and strike up conversations. And by people, I meant attractive girls. Feels like a constructive use of my time, right?

I met a couple of interesting girls through MySpace, some of whom I still keep in vague contact with even to this day. But it was Alexa who really caught my attention. She was a couple years younger than me and lived in The Woodlands, a fancy community north of Houston, roughly 30-40 minutes away from my mom’s house in Montgomery. At the time, I found her pictures unbelievable. Her less-than-stimulating conversation and less-than-intriguing responses, not so much. (I say this jokingly, but I truly mean this not as a condescending remark towards her at all. It’s more of a shot at me. I roll my eyes now at my cringeworthy motivations when it came to these chats.)

Coming straight out of high school, and her with a couple of years left, our conversations didn’t progress much further than not-so-subtle flirting and talk that circled back to her attractiveness. For example:

Me: So, what do you like to do? What are your interests?

Alexa: Well, not much. I do gymnastics twice a week after school.

Me: Oh, yeah? I can tell.

Alexa: Lol. How can you tell?

Me: You look like you’re in damn good shape. Gymnastic shape.

Alexa: Lol.

Shameless.

Anyways, as our friendship progressed, we exchanged numbers so we didn’t need the computer to communicate. This all happened before we had the ability to access everyone from 5-6 different platforms on our phone. Having a girl’s phone number still meant something. 

One afternoon while texting, I officially asked her on a date to the movies. “Ok, lol.” she replied. (Note: When I’m talking to a girl and she lol’s everything I say, that’s a good sign, right? Because she lol’d me ALL THE TIME. Even when I texted something serious. That’s still a good sign, right? Lol?) 

We went out to “X-Men: The Last Stand”, a subpar movie she didn’t care about and, the more I watched, I didn’t care about either. But my stifling insecurities prevented me from making a move, especially with a random MySpace girl. Sadly, prior to this, my MySpace endeavors had never manifested into an actual date. Most of the time we flirted via MySpace or text message for a week or two before everything turned cyclical and we ran out of nonsense to talk about. I could make things entertaining up to a point. But when I needed to put myself out there, I mean REALLY put myself out there, I just couldn’t do it. At least not yet. 

To compound my crippling insecurity, Alexa also felt the need to text for practically the entirety of our date. In the car going to the theater. Getting snacks. DURING THE MOVIE. She never stopped. I could only gawk in disbelief between our jilted conversation fragments. I remember thinking about how special (special?) it made me feel when she responded to my texts so quickly and how it made her such a great catch and blah blah blah...all while I watched her pretty face light up by her tiny screen time and time again while Kelsey Grammar talked mutant politics on the big screen. It did not make for a very memorable date. But, my boredom and lack of direction won out. Plus, I found her so damn hot. I could let her lack of attention and interest slide, right? (I clearly deserved what happens in this story.)

Even though our only official date went terribly, along with a handful of other terrrrrrrrrible encounters, my shallow post-graduation attitude kept giving her excuses. So we continued our back and forth through text and MySpace.

TERRRRRRRRRIBLE ENCOUNTER ALERT!

Alexa Meeting My Best Friend

Bryce and I made our way to her cul-de-sac in my Honda Accord. We had made plans for the three of us to go see a movie, since he heard how much fun we had the time before. As I assured him that our X-Men date was a fluke, we pulled up to Alexa ruthlessly screaming at her mom. In her hand she held a knife. I quickly bolted out of the car (Bryce, shockingly, stayed put) and did my best to calm everyone down. The two of us sat on the curb and talked for close to an hour. All the while Bryce stayed in the car. Once we finally left, sans Alexa, and way past our scheduled movie time, Bryce and I had the inevitable weighty silence as we pulled out of her subdivision. I finally turned to him. “Dude! So what’d you think?”

As I finish this portion of the anecdote, I tell them about one of my biggest regrets during this time, which ultimately alludes to my teachable moment. During my teenage years, I had a hard time valuing myself. I wish I had learned to stand up for myself, grown a spine and had the confidence to cut ties with people that didn’t deserve my attention, like Alexa, instead of ignoring how I really felt and, more importantly, how they made me feel. With Alexa, deep down I knew we didn’t work. She stressed me out. I knew I needed to end it. But I didn’t. Well, at least I have a good story.

So Alexa and I continued talking and texting. The further our “relationship” went, I also started to notice she had a lot of other guy friends, which partially explained why she stayed glued to her phone 24/7. Naturally, I thought about how she handled herself with me. No wonder she had a lot of guys who were “just friends”. We all kept coming back for the same, sad reasons. 

One “friend” in particular irked me more than anyone else, even though nothing “official” ever happened between her and I. Honestly, and I tell my students this same thing, I don’t remember his name. For some reason, it feels like it should be Robbie or Ronnie. Robbie annoys me a little more so...Robbie it is!

Robbie made it a point that anytime he and Alexa hung out, he took as many photos as possible of him draped all over her while the two of them laughed. Trip to the gas station? Draped and laughing. Having lunch together? All over her while eating the most hilarious food. He then posted these fun-filled photos to MySpace. I never let her know how much these bothered me, but somewhere, deep down, I felt like she knew. From time to time, very casually I questioned these photos, but she assured me they were “just friends”. In the back of my head, like a lot of other insecure guys, this didn’t really satisfy anything. So, they kept laughing, Robbie kept draping, and I continued to brood over Alexa and Robbie’s “friendship”.

It all came to a head one weekend when we had planned to hang out, or go out on another date. (I’m not sure which poison I picked) She canceled at the last minute, using some lame excuse about needing to help her mom with (fill in the blank here with noble reason). I also noticed, for the first time ever, she didn’t immediately respond to any of my texts or messages. I tried giving Alexa reasonable explanations for her lack of communication. “Oh, she must be helping her mom!” Yeah, right. Based on the short time I had known Alexa, I had never known her to NOT TEXT BACK in a timely, immediate fashion. Hell, even if on a date, I knew (from experience) she would respond. I finally gave up and threw on a mindless movie in my tiny efficiency house in my mom’s backyard. Deep down I knew I didn’t have a right to be annoyed. Maybe about other things. But not this. She was ignoring me so she could help her mom. Anything else came solely from my imagination and insecurity. Then the photos popped up.

*Still no IHOP? Don't worry, we are getting there! Stay tuned for Part Two coming out on Friday!*

[gobbluthbutagirl]