#lol god of death you loser

[blueteller]

[dirt-str1der]

Do you consider any of the non protagonist yakuza girls well writen?

I think none of them had rights

[aliidarling]

using you

RICK GRIMES X fem!reader

nsfw content — scroll if uncomfortable!!

summary: rick takes his anger out on you after lori's death because he's a self projecting loser and wants u really bad

warnings: p in v, no foreplay, rough sex, pussy slapping, age gap, degradation, mean rick, fingering, anal threats LOL, self projecting rick, old lonely rick, sweetish rick at the end ig

btw thank u everyone for sending me ideas for male manipulator rick pt.2 :) I'm definitely gonna take these into thought and write sum

i wrote this in three sittings like a week apart so some parts might not match up...

nsfw content below!!

Rick hadn’t come up from the basement of the prison in almost two days. No one had seen him, leading everyone to question if he was even alive anymore.

The death of Lori had impacted him. The atmosphere was tense, and not many words had been spoken. No one wanted to go down to comfort Rick, not wanting to get snapped at. Angry Rick was something else.

Hershel was the one who recommended you to go down and talk to Rick. At first, you were against it, because why? Carl was his son, Glenn was the first one he met out of everyone, and Daryl was like his brother. There was no reason why you should. You were just one of the younger girls in the group.

“Because he has a soft spot for you, sweetheart.” Hershel says gently, sighing and rubbing his temple. Your brows furrow as you think about his words.

“What? No— Rick hates me,” You scoff.

Every time you had tried to talk to the man he’d order you around and be cold to you, never letting you breathe without getting a stupid scolding. It was walking on eggshells around him.

“No, no.” He chuckles, brushing his hands through his thin white hair. He sits up. “He cares about you in his own little way, okay? You’re the only one here he wouldn’t hurt. Not that he’d hurt anyone else— but…” He groans. “You know what I mean.” 

You frown at him, picking at your hair. You reluctantly stand up, tossing your jacket on top of your shirt. “If I don’t come back in an hour, you know what happened.” You grumble dramatically.

He rolls his eyes and waves you off, giving you a little grateful smile.

A few minutes later, you were walking down the staircase into the boiler room, a frown painted onto your expression. You could hear angry muttering and the sound of metal clattering.

Just on your way here you had heard him yelling, you didn’t know at who. It worried you, was he already going crazy? Or was someone else down here with him?

As you walk inside the small, dark room, a messy-looking Rick comes into view. His hair was messy, his curls damp with sweat as he grumbled angrily to himself, leaning against a table.

He quickly turns at the sounds of your footsteps, hands on his hips as he narrows his eyes at your figure. What the hell were you doing here? Did no one get the message that he wanted to be left alone?

“What.” He huffs firmly, his body language cold and distant. He was always mean to you, but this just felt different, like he was a ticking time bomb. It made you shudder as you nervously picked at your hair, stepping closer.

“You’ve been down here for a while, Rick. Everyone’s getting worried.” You said softly, looking up at the older man through your lashes. It felt weird to be so nice and caring to him, he had just lost his wife— you felt bad. Horrible, even.

And a part of you made your guilt ten times stronger knowing you were still attracted to him throughout this whole mess. Even though he had pushed you away so many times, called you names, and ordered you around like a child, you felt connected to him. Like you wanted more than a simple friendship.

But the fact he was mourning his wife's death and all you could think was how good he looked with his shirt half-buttoned and his curls messy? God, you were a horrible person.

A dry chuckle leaves him, the sound echoing in the room, making you shiver. His demeaning attitude towards you has you shrinking, wanting the walls around you to swallow you whole as long as that meant you didn’t have to be alone in a room with him.

“So worried they call you down here out of everyone else?” He scoffs.

Ouch.

“I’m just trying to be here for you, you don’t have to be such a jackass.” You sneered at him.

Once the words left your mouth, you felt kinda bad. He was struggling with his wife’s death, and here you were being rude to him.

A small sigh left you as you stepped forward, hesitantly placing your palm on his bicep, trying to give him a little bit of comfort. It was the least you could do, right? You had managed to screw up your entire friendship with this man, but maybe you could turn it around starting… now?

As he feels your touch on his bicep, he turns to you quickly in response— almost as a reflex— and presses you against the table aggressively. A yelp leaves you as you find yourself being cornered by the large man, looking up at him in shock.

Never mind, jeez.

“You wanna be here for me?” He growled, his hand going to hold your throat, not squeezing but keeping it there as a warning not to cross him.

You give him a shaky nod, not knowing what to say or do that wouldn’t cause his temper to blow. It already blew.. But you knew what he was capable of, and you were scared of getting on his bad side more than you already were.

“Use your words.”

“Yeah, I wanna help you.” You press your lips together nervously, giving him a hesitant nod.

His eyes darken, looking you up and down and weighing the options. He hums lowly, his hands slowly wrapping around your waist, his fingertips pressing into your skin through your shirt.

“Huh.” He can’t help but smile at you, but not a sweet one. A mocking grin. You shuddered.

“How about you start off by bending over that desk then? Since you wanna be good for me so badly.” He laughs darkly, flipping you around smoothly and kicking the back of your knee.

You stumble slightly and find yourself bending over the edge of the desk, a huff leaving you as you flinch in surprise. Instinctively, you try and straighten yourself but he keeps one of his hands pressed on your lower back.

“What are you doing? You know this isn’t what I meant—“ You say breathlessly, not having the power to fight back for some odd reason. The position had you tingling between your legs, your stomach in knots and your mouth dry.

You felt ashamed to be so into this. He was coping in an extremely unhealthy manner— but could you even stop him if you tried? Did you want to?

He ignores your words and grasps the back of your jacket, pulling it off and leaving you in your spaghetti-strapped tank top. It was hot in the prison, could you blame yourself for dressing in thinner clothing?

“Always dressed like a fuckin’ slut, begging for attention from me. Think I don’t notice? Hmm? How you’re always nagging me and trying your damnest to spend time with me?” His words leave him harshly as he leans over to push your hair over your shoulder, leaving your back empty for him without any distractions.

“Don’t say that.” You mutter softly, eyes fluttering as you feel his breath brush over your skin. Goosebumps appeared on your smooth skin, lips pressing together to conceal the heavy exhale you wanted to release.

“Why? Because you know I’m right?” He chuckles dryly. His hands rub over your back, grabbing the end of your top and pulling it up to bunch over your chest. Your heart skips a beat and you try to pull away, but he only pulls you closer, pressing his crotch firmly against your butt. He sighs in relief at the friction, grinding subtly.

The next few minutes are him just grinding against you from behind, muttering a mean ‘shut up’ whenever you’d let out a noise. This was for him. He didn’t care about you— didn’t care that he was leaving you needy and aching, all he wanted was to relieve himself.

“Take your pants off.” He grumbles, leaning back just a few inches to unbuckle his belt. He smoothly pulls it out of his jean loops, and then unzips his fly and pulls his jeans down. He’s fast and aggressive, and soon enough his hard cock is pressing against his lower tummy, his tip red and throbbing.

You blink in surprise, but you try and process his words quickly. Okay. He wants your pants off. This was for him to feel better, just take your damn pants off, dumbass. Don’t make his day worse.

Shakily, you pull your pants down to your ankles, your butt in front of him with your panties hugging your curvy hips. He stares down at you, eyes narrowing at the sight of the damp spot on your panties.

“Slut.” He kicks your legs open with his foot before landing a harsh slap against your pussy, making you cry out. Your brows furrow as you try to suppress your noises as he keeps going at it, his rough palm delivers harsh strikes to your sensitive area.

“O-Ow— Rick!” You whine, wiggling your butt as the slaps have you growing more and more wet. This was so embarrassing!

“Had I known you like gettin’ that pussy slapped I would have done it a lot sooner, sweetie.” He coos mockingly, a low snicker leaving his throat. He parts his hand from your panties. His large fingers grasp into your panties and pull them to the side, nudging your legs further apart and aligning himself with you.

“Take a deep breath, baby.” He huffs before thrusting himself inside you with one stroke, burying himself to the hilt. Your body tenses immediately, eyes watering at the large stretch your insides felt at the intrusion.

You immediately let out a shaky cry, clawing at the table for something to hold onto as you try and adjust to the feeling. His girth was thick, ripping you apart. The lack of foreplay and prep had you wincing.

“Awww, did I hurt ya’? Poor thing, little hole must burn sooo much.” His words sounded so mean, his dark eyes gazing down at your figure. He scanned each inch of your body. Your arch, your hips, waist, your hair— it all looked so good. He wanted to ruin you.

You struggle to speak as you feel him sit nice and snug inside you, your sight going blurry. You whimper like a pathetic puppy into the desk, the cold steel making you cringe and squirm. If he was gonna force himself in your pussy, couldn’t he of at least done it somewhere more comfy?

“S-Screw you,” You groan lowly, your eyes already rolling back. And he hasn’t even started to move yet.

“Mhmm, s’okay sweet girl, I’ll get there.” He hushed you gently. Your doughy flesh is so soft to his rough palms, making him smile as he grips your waist a little tighter. He uses your waist to hold you down as he starts to slowly pull out, leaving just the tip before slamming himself back inside. Not even a rag in your mouth could stop the moan that leaves you, your body wincing in a mix of pain and pleasure.

The next few minutes are messy and full of whimpering and shushing, your body quivering as he keeps thrusting into your hole like there’s no tomorrow. You were just a stress relief for him at the moment— a pretty face with a tight cunt he could fuck for hours.

Yeah, he was mean to you even before he decided to fuck you in this boiler room, but that was only because he didn’t know how to handle his emotions around you! You were a sweet young girl with a cute face and a good rack of tits, always trying to talk to him when he had a wife and a son, could he even interact with you without getting scolded by Lori?

He let out a shaky grunt as he slams his hips into you over and over again, watching your perfect ass jiggle at the force he put into you. Your noises were perfect, he had spent probably hours imagining how you’d sound with him inside you. He couldn’t count the amount of times he had imagined you while he was in bed with Lori. He was a horrible husband, but he blamed you for it. You were the reason of his lack of loyalty, so he may as well punish you for it. You were pretty much asking for it the second you came downstairs with that pretty face.

“Fuck, fuck,” He groans, bending over to press his chest flush against your back and pressing himself against you. He wanted you to feel every damn inch of him, feel how deep he was inside your dumb little pussy and how he made you feel.

“You feel that? Huh? Feel how fuckin’ deep I am inside that needy pussy? Can feel you squeezing me, sweetheart, must feel so good, right?” He shushes your cries as he manages to push his cock deeper, his fat head brushing against your sweet spot that has you clenching down.

“Mhm, feels so good.” You sniffle. He giggled lowly at how pathetic you sounded, almost feeling the urge to comfort you for a second.

He’s wanted this for so long. Half the reason why he was spiraling after Lori’s death was because of the agonizing guilt he felt for still fantasizing about you when he had a whole newborn waiting for him. But now he had you, and he was not gonna let you go, and even if you begged and cried— he had already sunk his claws(cock) deep inside you.

His hand reaches to the front of your neck to grasp it and pull you tighter against him, giving your neck a little squeeze. He hums in approval at how your body tightens around him, his hips picking up speed.

“Good, good, jus’ like that, good girl,” He mumbled, squeezing his hand around your neck just a tiny bit more, loving the expression that fell over your face. A few more long minutes of him inflicting a fast and rough pace that expresses his self-projecting hatred towards you pass, the both of you out of breath and sweating.

“Can I cum? Please?” You whisper shakily, a soft moan coming from you as his thrusts continue. Your lips quiver and struggle to choke out words as you feel him repeatedly slam into your g-spot, eyes watering from the pleasure and your legs going wobbly.

“Oh, oh please, Rick—!” A loud moan escapes your throat before you have time to hold it back. You had been stripped down to a cheap whore bent over a table, but you didn’t care, it felt so good.

He answers your question by squeezing your throat, reaching forward to rub your clit. You clenching down on him has him groaning and almost stuttering with his thrusts, brows furrowing as he starts to get a little sloppy with his rhythm.

Without wasting any time, you feel yourself cumming hard around his cock and spasming, crying out at the force. A few more tears slip as you whimper onto the table, shaky hands grasping at anything to hold onto it.

A crooked grin paints his face as he gazes down at your shaky figure, slowly pulling out and watching his cum drip out of your leaky hole.

He hums and gently picks you up and sits you down on top of the desk, parting your thighs open and pressing the cum back inside you. Your eyes widen slightly in shock as his large finger shoves itself back inside you, making you cry out at the sensitivity you felt.

“R-Rick,” You attempt to plead before he rudely shushes you, crumbling apart as he fingers you open brutally. More tears stream as he watches with an amused glint, taking in the sight of you crying as he shoves his fingers inside your pussy violently.

“You can take it, shush, be a good girl.” He mumbles, sliding them in and out smoothly without any stop, his other hand going to rub at your spent clit. He almost felt bad for you, but then he remembered you were the little brat making him think like an unloyal husband— and he resumed with his torture.

Once he has you coming apart on his fingers again, he slides them out of you and whistles meanly, smirking at his slick-covered fingers. He maintains eye contact with you as he brings them up to your mouth, tapping them against your lips.

“Please don’t.” You whine, trembling in embarrassment. Could this get any more humiliating?!

“Shut up and be a good fuck toy.” He grunts. You shrivel and slowly part your lips, taking his wet fingers and sucking gently, your eyes fluttering shut as you didn’t want to look him in the eye while doing this.

After cleaning his fingers, he parts from you and gives you a once over, scowling.

“You’re not too bad when you’re not being an annoying fuck, y’know. Maybe you should bend over for me more often.” He sniggers, pulling his jeans back up and buckling his belt back on. He tidies up his appearance and gives you a side-eye.

“I’m so telling Hershel.” You grumble, struggling to pull your pants back on with limping legs. He rolls his eyes and aggressively tugs them back on for you. You flinch at the force and almost stumble onto your ass but you eventually have your clothes back on you because of his help. You give him an awkward smile, and he just glares at you in return.

“…I guess you could say I did help you, right?” You grin sheepishly, before gasping softly as he pulls you in for a kiss. He mutters a small “Shut up,” against your lips before interlocking his with yours, his hands wrapping around your waist and pressing your body flush against his.

He parts slowly from you, a small saliva trail showing before dissolving mid-air. He stares down at you, before nudging you in the direction of the exit.

“Don’t tell anyone about this, kay? You tell a soul and I’ll shove it in your butt next time, brat.” He scoffs, turning away and gazing back at the wall like the depressed old man he is.

You can’t help but smile as you walk away.

Next time, huh?

You were a little delusional, but why the hell not?

[enkvyu]

two-faced — jjk smau

in which gojo pisses off a famous streamer (you 🫵) for funsies and unleashes a legion of loyal fans who want him dragged, doxxed, or dead. fortunately for him, you have your own secrets that you’ll take to the grave, perfect for him to take advantage of. when the two of you meet, an unlikely love story for the ages blossoms aka a lighthearted smau abt gojo n the gang!!

pairings: gojo x f!reader

genres: social media au (smau), crack, fluff, strangers to enemies (?) to lovers

warnings: profanities, dark humour, sexual jokes, mentions of death and suicide, very stupid jokes don’t take anything too seriously!! ignore timestamps. will contain jokes / references from the manga !! you will be warned of spoilers on the posts that have them 🤍

this is my first smau so if it’s not funny i Apologise 😨 just for the shits n giggles !! upload schedule will probably be based on how well this is received 🤍 note all characters are in uni (ages 18-20)

unread notifications !

profiles one | profiles two

01: hit tweet this, hit tweet that, why don’t you hit the gym?

02: hot girls pay the government 2 b a citizen

03: nanami’s right titty tingle

04: What Ever Major Loser

05: let him in, LET HIM IN

06: it’s “save the turtles” until i drink boba with my hands

07: silence of the lambs

08: god giving me my greatest obstacle and it’s a man

09: would u still love me if i was a chip floating around in ur stomach?

10: deny that instead

11: twitching eyes and clenched fists

12: getou’s bang grease

13: spring loaded penis bomb

14: first date options and gojo picks spit boba (it works?!)

15: lactose intolerance, biggest killer since cancer

16: unknown mysterious reason unravelled

17: i wish i could have at least (1)

18: beautiful princess disorder

19: GOGOGOJO GONE !

20: tba

pinned accounts !

@whats-humanity-lol @vduxx @saltypuffin1040 @porridgesblog @justpuddinglol @sleezzsister @fadingpalacebonkpsychic @iluv-ace @realestalphamegathugd4ddy @invisible-mori @mimiqz @hyuckworld @wheredidmycrowngo @ericupid @satorukissr @rumi-rants @milza12 @nymphsdomain @thunderimpulse @waengyknow @err1vki3 @nerdiel-has-no-braincells @whatamidoing89 @aboveasphodel @doughnuts-eater @archer-fb @giannitaa @leathernourishingshoepolish @poisonnuggies @cotton-eee @postmancat @yoontaedotin @crushed-satellite-stars @polartrident @starsfilm @etsukis @bladeismine @the-fab-killjoy @a3th3rrr @alatuskaleidos @emii4evr @trcomedump @usermins @ancientimes @aelynaneedsalottathing @jaynawayna @milceslv @lvryeager @sukisprettyface @kissezfornamjoon @satoryaa

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( being added to the taglist means you will be tagged at every new release ! ask 2 be added / removed 🤍 )

[kazz-brekker]

hotd episode 4 thoughts:

bro!! that was fucking BRUTAL! i've known it was coming all season but holy shit i was NOT prepared for all of that!!!

before this season started people were saying that blood and cheese was going to be this show's red wedding, but honestly i 100% think it's rook's rest, actually! do not argue with me!

okay hang on let me try to have some coherent thoughts.

as a lover of all things gothic and weird, i am absolutely loving daemon having a terrible time at harrenhal. get haunted by your past bad decisions, loser!

i've been waiting all season to see how the alyn and addam subplot will play out and i really like the choice to have rhaenys be aware of her husband's bastard children (in the book she never learned), it makes a lot of sense since she and corlys know each other really well and she's very familiar with driftmark.

also i was not emotionally ready for them to take the route of rhaenys learning hours before her death that her husband repeatedly cheated on her lol.

alicent taking the moon tea as a parallel to rhaenyra doing the same in season 1 was a bit unexpected but i actually liked it, i feel like if you're going to write a story that's supposed to be heavily inspired by medieval history then you should include how women deal with contraceptives and abortion in that world.

jace and baela trying to run the council in rhaenyra's absence…they're doing they're best! but they really are just kids and should not have to deal with all of this!

getting the sense that gwayne hightower is maybe not super down with this whole "war" thing after all.

aemond shit-talking aegon in front of the whole council and using high valyrian so they don't understand him was such a delightfully bitchy usage of the language that i actually yelled aloud.

i have not forgotten season 1…whenever alicent and larys have a scene together i live in fear.

i'm also loving alys rivers so far, she's so perfectly unsettling and i'm really pleased they let gayle rankin keep her scottish accent.

they mentioned the names of TWO of the muppet tullys! and benjicot blackwood! and the return of willem blackwood! and a laena hallucation! gosh, daemon's little harrenhal council scenes had so many delicious callbacks and namedrops this episode.

alicent snarking at aegon…oh she really is losing her patience with him and just doesn't care at all anymore.

it's so good to see rhaenyra really taking a stand and making decisions this episode, but my god the pit of my stomach really dropped when rhaenys volunteered to fly to rook's rest.

i really liked the parallel moments with aegon and rhaenys getting ready to go to war, especially how it emphasized that the targaryens see their dragons not just as weapons but as companions too.

truly did not have on my bingo card that one of the participants of the first proper dragon battle this season would be drunk.

rook's rest was just! man! it was brutal!

this show really made us wait for the first dragon versus battle dragon battle, and it really didn't let me down.

the bit where aegon realizes that he's severely outmatched by meleys…the looks on everyone's faces when vhagar arrives…the dragons just screeching and clawing at each other and laying waste the whole field below them without even meaning to…those soldiers being crushed beneath vhagar's feet without her even noticing…vhagar seizing meleys by the throat and just shaking her…the look on rhaenys's face when she's falling…the impact of sunfyre and meleys just totally crushing everything below them…it fucking slapped!!

the aftermath was just as brutal as the battle, tbh. the look on criston cole's face when he realized what he set in motion and that he maybe just killed the king…oh buddy you fucked up REAL bad.

on a better note…more harrenhal drama and jace in the riverlands next week?

[jeonsweetpea]

Devoted to Trouble (Teaser)

Spider-Man!AU | Peter Parker!Jungkook x Reader

genre: fluff, smut, comedy, lil angst

rating: explicit

description: In which the whole world finds out Jungkook is Spider-Man, but he doesn’t care about anything but you. OR Can you survive seven days of Jungkook pining over you while his identity is exposed to the world?

word count: it’s at 8k rn but will probably be 10k

warnings: Seven JK… need I say more? JK being a SIMP, JK being a flirt, the entirety of the Seven MV being Peter Parker/Spider-Man coded, JK being a dork, JK is persistent and annoying but in an endearing way, fake death, smutty smut (will add more tags later lol)

a/n: Hello! I just love the idea of JK being such an unserious Spider-Man/Peter Parker who only loves you and wants you and voila! He’s a lovesick loser basically. I’m so excited to finish it soon. :)

EDIT: I HAVE POSTED IT NOW :)))

Monday

You didn’t know why you bothered dressing up for dinner when the end goal was to turn Jungkook down. After his identity was revealed to the public (source unknown), panic set in, and you realized that a future together was not possible. However, out of courtesy, you decided not to flake on the date after promising him. The boy was ecstatic, and deep down, you suspected his ego loved the fact he won over someone like you, who had consistently turned him down.

As you approached the restaurant door, someone unexpectedly rushed past you to open it himself. Startled by the sudden action, you jumped in surprise. 

“Jungkook? Oh my god, you scared me!” you exclaimed. He offered an apologetic smile, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. You noticed his heavy breathing, wondering if he had exerted himself. “Did you run here?”

“Yeah, I was stopping a heist nearby and didn’t want you to wait long,” he replied.

Your heart softened at his thoughtfulness, but it also served as a reminder of why a future together would be challenging. “You didn’t have to waste your stamina. I just got here.”

“Trust me, babe. I have plenty of stamina.” 

[heartofjasmina]

Tw: dark content but god knows I love sharing with you

Im on a big bro! Lil sis kick and LORD

Big bro! Bakugo who acts like he just despises you until the two of you are alone together? Then he’s showering you with praise and telling you how good you are. Thanks lol

Hi emi! That is so valid of you lol, and I love this! I'm just a lil baby tho who can't handle anyone being mean to me especially not my big bro so I'm gonna tweak this a tiny bit hope you don't mind!

Your brother watched you flounce around school with a scowl permanently on his lips and a glare darkening his handsome features. You always greeted him with a smile in the hallways of your college and he blatantly ignored you.

When you were talking to the other kids in your group project in the campus square, when you were held back in the same gen ed class for the teacher to praise your hard work, didn't matter the scenario if you were in his sights?? He was giving you a death glare.

It made people think he hated you.

But you didn't mind at all. It didn't matter what he acted like when others were around, you know the real reason he was so grumpy you two went to the same school.

He couldn't claim you publically. No matter how much he fucked you like he owned you in private, you were technically a single young woman in the eyes of everyone at your school.

He hated seeing those losers vying for your attention, he hated how much everyone seemed to be in love with your kind and energetic personality.

You were his damnit.

But when you two were alone together, all you heard from your big brother was praise and encouragement.

"That's it sis, taking me so fucking well, good girl." Your pussy always welcomed him home like it was where he was meant to be, balls deep inside your wet heat.

"Need you brother, please," you whined, impatient as always for him to leave you breathless. You were still only 19, still so focused on feeling good that you hadn't learned the pleasure of taking things slow. But who was Bakugou to deny his little sisters pleas?

"If that's what you want sis, that's what you'll get." His voice was a deep rasp against your ear as he started to fuck you in earnest, bending you over his dorm bed without a moments hesitation (the real reason he requested a single dorm room).

"Cause my baby deserves all the cock she needs. Good girls get rewarded."

[iho6hi2]

Infrunami.

Type: Oneshot

Pairing: Matsuno Karamatsu/F! Reader

Summary: Getting kisses from a hot lady? Karamatsu would love that. Almost getting ran over by a hot lady? Not exactly on his bucket list, but Karamatsu checks it regardless.

Warnings: Near Death Experiences, Fluff, Attempt at Humor, Light Angst, Drinking, Getting to Know Each Other, Feel-Good, Ridiculous

Word Count: 8,037

A/N: MY HOMESLICE 🧀🧀 Karamatsu deserves someone he can be a flop with T__T BTW Im so insecure about this so pls either give me a 10 page essay on why this sucked or one 'this was cool Lol' otherwise ill kms

Karamatsu ambles near the bridge, his usual hotspot for courting women in this cruel game life likes to call love; or more accurately the place where he stands still like a traffic sign with the hopes of someone giving him the time of day for once (huge spoiler alert: nobody does, as expected).

He chuckles, feigning smug amusement as he runs a hand through his hair in one smooth motion. "The stars must not favor me today, for all of my Karamatsu girls are nowhere to be seen. Heh, if that is the fate of a sinful man, I shall accept it and retreat with peace.''

The looks passersby shoot him border on mentally perturbed and downright horrified, because who the hell monologues atrocities like these out loud? Without being under the influence of something, nonetheless.

With that declaration out of the way, Karamatsu straightens up and decides to head home for the day, deeming it appropriate. What with his love endeavors turning out to be unsuccessful once again, also to no one's big surprise really.

On his way home, whenever the opportunity presents itself, he stops to window-shop every time he passes by a fashion boutique and admires clothes his broke bum probably couldn't afford.

Of course, he attempts not to appear interested, and instead only crosses his arms critically and gives the mannequins clad in clothing the stink eye (even if he's wearing shades of all things) while the workers glance at him warily through the window.

Before another demented sentence is said, suddenly all chaos breaks loose and there are people yelling and instantly he's all too aware of the motorcycle nearing him with each passing second. Karamatsu shrieks so loud he's sure everyone from the next town over had heard him.

"Get out of the way!" The biker shouts and waves a hand to the side for emphasis, and he feels like a fly being swatted away, but even if Karamatsu wanted to move it's almost as if his legs are rooted to the ground.

A wave of panic washes over him and strangely enough there was still enough time for dread to settle in the depths of his stomach. Even if it may be cliché, his life does end up flashing before his eyes － and it's just plain sad how fucking boring it is.

"Get out of the way," you repeat, though you sound more adamant, your tone coated with a sense of urgency.

Ahhh, Mommy! I'll die a virgin, I'll die a loser! Karamatsu cries in his mind. If I survive, I'll get a job, I swear! I'll even stop talking in English, just please! He pleads mentally, to whom is unknown.

Suddenly, you remember that brakes exist and you swerve with such mastery you weren't even aware you possessed up until now, coming to an abrupt stop right in front of your spared victim, tires screeching harshly against the pavement. Karamatsu deadpans, God had a real sense of humor.

He's still frozen in place, barely containing the natural instinct to piss himself. Though he's also pretty sure the urge to urinate will hit him like a shit ton of bricks post-shock.

Fortunately, he's not Ichimatsu and so he doesn't shit himself in front of the cute girl getting off of the motorcycle, even if she barely missed out on becoming his murderer.

You approach him cautiously, expecting the berating of a lifetime. Though judging by his state － him shaking like a leaf despite his thick leather jacket, also not to mention the buckets worth of sweat rolling off him －, you doubt you'll get an earful.

"Are you okay?'' Obviously, he's not. ''You're not hurt or anything, right?''

Karamatsu shakes his head timidly despite not even listening to a word you said. Then, he gulps and raises a trembling hand to his face, lowering his sunglasses just a smidge to take a good peek at you. ''H-Heh, you have, um, nothing to worry about my dear Karamatsu girl..."

You do your best to smile at him in response, but the need to physically recoil is understandably strong. ''Oh, uh, that's good to hear. I'm sorry for, you know, almost killing you and giving you a fright... It happens a lot for some reason.''

You need to get your license revoked, Karamatsu's eye twitches but he smirks regardless, willing to disregard everything that had occurred just because you were one hot lady. Plus, he is a gentleman, if nothing else.

''As if! You have no reason to fret, mon amour. The thrill of living or dying, chasing that high is what makes or breaks a man! Such a thing couldn't possibly scare me."

''Are you sure? 'Cause I'm certain I heard you scream,'' you grin with more teeth than you should. It'd be such a pleasure to knock him down a couple of notches, you think.

''T-T-That was most definitely not a scream, my darling, I assure you! It was but a noise of excitement at the divine gamble, ahahaha, that's all!'' Karamatsu stutters, stumbling over his words.

You blink, positively unimpressed. "You were excited to get ran over?"

After that, an uncomfortable silence stretches between the two of you. You're pulled into reality by the fact that just about anyone could see your number plate, so it was time to leave and flee the supposed crime scene. You're not getting fined for this, hell no. If anything, you're the one who's in desperate need of reparations after this degenerate conversation.

You mount your motorcycle again and look at him with an almost impish smile, ''You have weird tastes, man." And with that last comment, you're gone in the same breath, leaving behind only a cartoonish dust cloud.

Karamatsu's legs give out and he collapses, falling to his knees. Nobody helps him up.

★

Karamatsu doesn't really visit clubs often. Going by himself makes him feel strangely out of place, going with his brothers makes him feel like a circus attraction, though it's not like it has ever bothered him before.

He would usually lie through his teeth and strive to come off as unbothered and remarkably experienced; a well-seasoned veteran among premature ejaculators, but crowded places like these aren't his scene, at all. Never really have been in the first place.

Perhaps that's why he thinks he doesn't belong here as he observes the rest of the partygoers live it up on the dancefloor while babysitting his beer, one sip at a time.

The music isn't even good, Karamatsu frowns and pinches his eyebrows together, deep in thought. Man, did this place fucking suck. How much did they have to cough up in order for others to rate it a 4-star club?

Well, he supposes it doesn't really matter in the end. As long as the booze's good, that's all he needs to forget this horrible day. A 'nice' hangover is all it takes to wipe his memories clean, which isn't much to brag about.

''Oh, it's you!'' Someone exclaims and he whips his head forward before spitting out his alcohol. What are the odds? You point at him, just as shocked as him at this turn of events, ''Mr. Painful!''

Karamatsu chuckles, raising his glass full of beer as a greeting. ''Madame. Charmed to see you here.''

You roll your eyes but that doesn't hinder you from grinning back at him, ''Oh, the pleasure is all mine, trust me.''

''I would hope so. What are the chances of our paths crossing once more? It leads me to believe that this is no chance encounter. Hmph, why it must be fate.'' Karamatsu blabbers on, implementing wild gestures into his dialogue, takes his sunglasses off and his eyes shine with what you presume is a romantic glint.

You cough a little and wipe the bar clean with a towel, ''Yeah, no. I just work here.''

''The universe works in mysterious ways.''

You laugh. ''Whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy.'' Then, you pat the back of his hand twice. You watch him jump up in surprise and tilt your head to the side, confused.

Karamatsu clutches his hand to his chest, but realizes how fucking ridiculous he must look and simply clears his throat with that same proud expression.

You squint your eyes. ''You're not sick, are you?''

Karamatsu hurries to shake his head, which did nothing but give him a sense of déjà vu. ''N-Non, non! Don't worry your pretty little head over my health, angel. I'm nothing else if not alright, haha.''

You narrow your eyes at him further.

His hands are bundled over his crotch and he has one leg crossed over the other and if Twitter had taught you anything useful at all, it would mean that these are early signs of cock shame. And all of his prior mannerisms, could it be that he is... ''A virgin?''

You did not mean to say that out loud.

Karamatsu's face turns blank for a brief second before he's flapping his hands left and right in firm denial. His face is flushed, panicked, and you swear he's on the brink of tears.

When you said that you wanted to knock him off his high horse, this wasn't what you had in mind, at least not exactly. As a matter of fact, you feel sort of bad for the poor guy.

''Hahaha... What are you talking about, my Karamatsu girl? You should be able to tell by now that a man like me is sought after, which is one of the many punishments I must endure!'' He announces, posing with his index and thumb on his chin, a shaky smile slapped on his sweaty face.

You blink, then prop your elbows on the front bar, lean in and ask, ''And in reality?''

Karamatsu sits back down in his stool, then promptly downs the rest of his beer. ''A jobless virgin who lives in his parents' house.''

You register the somber look in his eyes. You sigh under your breath and open up the fridge, pulling out the same brand of beer he had been drinking until now and pass the bottle to him casually.

Karamatsu looks up at you in disbelief, glancing between you and the bottle of beer frantically. You flick his forehead, ''Drink up, it's on the house just this once.''

Karamatsu stiffens and then smiles gently, rubbing his wet eyes with the sleeve of his jacket, snivelling. ''Thank you, my Karamatsu girl!''

You cross your arms and huff, ''It's [Name]. And besides, I almost ran you over earlier today, it's the least I can do for you.''

''Thank you, [Name].'' Karamatsu parrots himself and happily takes a swig of his new, freshly refilled drink.

You watch him out of the corner of your eye while serving other customers. When a majority of the people disperse, leaving the two of you mostly alone again, you quickly scribble down your number on a napkin.

''Here,'' you call out to him as you hand him the piece of paper. When he shoots you a curious look, you redirect your attention elsewhere in mock embarrassment. ''You seem like fun, let's drink together for realsies next time. My treat.''

Karamatsu gasps, screaming like a banshee with a voice mutation and you think he emotes a strange, outdated gag while leaping ten feet in the air.

His head hits the ceiling but he comes back down just as quick, blood dripping down his face. Planks come crashing down on top of him, somehow on fire, and you clench your jaw. This will definitely be deducted from your paycheck.

★

Karamatsu wakes up, but he doesn't remember how or when he got home.

He ruffles his hair, only to find his broken shades and several bandages wrapped around his head. He attempts to jog his memory and yet the only thing he's able to recall is slamming face-first into a roof and... And...

He sits up and Olympic dives straight into the couch, barbarically searching for that blessed piece of paper which could very well change the entire trajectory of his life.

When he pulls it out of his leather jacket's pocket, he breathes heavily and fakes a falsetto, opting to roll around on the floor in some sort of wild frenzy.

This is it. I'm finally presented with an opportunity to abandon my virgin ways, Karamatsu thinks with a serious expression, shadows covering his eyes dramatically.

He raises a lone victorious fist in the air, cutting through the Matrix itself. Then, Karamatsu gulps and surveys the area, noticing that the living room is empty, which can only mean one thing. Now is the perfect time to plan a romantic rendezvous with you.

Tip-toeing his way to the hall where the landline is located, Karamatsu muttered curse words whenever the floorboards creaked under his weight.

When he reaches the house phone, he gently unfolds the napkin and smoothes out the wrinkles, then sucks in a deep breath and forces his balls to turn into pure steel.

Dialing your number with practiced caution, he bites his nails and anxiously taps his foot. The longer he waits for you to pick up, the more he loses hope.

Just as he was about to hang up and snap back to his miserable reality, maybe cry for an hour or two, your voice croaks out a, ''Hello, who is this? I can hear you breathing, creep. Helloooo?''

''A-Ah, [Name]! This is, uh, Karamatsu.'' He stutters and twirls his hair around his finger. ''I was pondering over the possibility of us taking a stroll together, bathing in the sun and sharing masterful pastries－"

''A date. You want us to go on a date.''

''Yes,'' Karamatsu admits, or rather embraces the simplified idea of it all. ''It's okay if you don't want to, of course, m'lady! I-I wouldn't force you or anything, it's entirely up to you.''

You pinch your nose on the other line, ''Karamatsu, shut up, 'kay? Yes, I wanna go on a date with you, otherwise I wouldn't have paid for your broke ass last night. Now give me a time and place.''

''You do? You actually want to willingly hang out with me?'' He questions and you can practically smell his meekness and self-doubt oozing out of him even through the phone.

''You're the one who hit up my line first, no takebacks hotshot.'' You say, half-joking.

''Why, yes of course. As expected of my favourite Karamatsu girl!'' My only Karamatsu girl up-to-date. ''Obviously, you desire to spend every waking moment together with me, just as much as I do.''

''Time and place, please and thank you.'' You cut him off mid-effusion.

After arranging the date and going over the details, Karamatsu giddily spins and hugs himself. Then, he slaps his face and nods to no one in particular, as a form of confirmation to his invisible hype men.

Choromatsu stares at him judgementally from the stairway, face twisted in its usual sociopathic manner.

Osomatsu leans over in order to whisper in his ear, "What's up with him? He's acting weirder than usual."

Choromatsu scowls. "I don't wanna know, besides if we show interest that means we're going to have to put up with him."

Osomatsu nods in agreement and rubs under his nose with a finger, "True. It's way too damn early for his theatrics." Then, he throws in his assholish laugh for good measure.

The two of them choose to close their eyes and pretend this never happened in the first place, trudging up the stairs and going right back into their shared room without a care in the world.

★

You check the time and grimace. He's awfully late for someone who asked you out first. You wouldn't say you're the most punctual person in the world, but even still you decided to get all dolled up and ended up arriving early for a change of pace.

At first, you didn't mind waiting for him. Life happens after all, right? Maybe something came up last minute and he couldn't put it off, but if that were the case he would have informed you beforehand, right? Right?

You feel as though you're a step closer to becoming a wacko, but suddenly shake your head to rid your mind of such thoughts and smile to yourself. He'll show up, you're sure of it.

But after thirty more minutes of this nonsense, you're on the verge of throwing a tantrum and disrupting the public tranquility because you got stood up. What a fucking jerk, you think and puff out your cheeks.

Just as you're about to leave, maybe actually run someone over and kill them to make yourself feel better and perhaps blow all of your money on cheap gigolos, you stop and widen your eyes at the sight that greets you.

There's no mistaking those sequinned pants and shiny cowboy boots. Your date, with his wounds all gone and miraculously healed, saunters over to you like he's a runway model, catwalking with a bit of an attitude as if he didn't keep you waiting for half an hour.

He halts when there's barely any distance between the two of you, takes off his shades and flashes you his pearly whites which emit an ominous sparkle and you're temporarily rendered blind. ''Sorry for the wait.''

You grind your teeth together and force yourself to grin, ''Don't worry about it, but what took you so long.''

Karamatsu nervously chuckles and glances to the side, looking anywhere but you.

How the hell is he supposed to tell you that he spent most of the time hiding and sneaking peeks in your direction, but simply didn't have enough courage to approach you and that it took him at least twenty minutes to muster it? Simple, he won't tell you.

Instead, he strikes a pose under the nonexistent limelight. ''A star like me is obligated to be fashionably late.''

''Well, the star better make sure it doesn't happen again or it'll be one sad day for your fanbase,'' you threaten with an innocent smile, batting your eyelashes.

Karamatsu gulps and nods, but an invisible light bulb turns on above his head and he snaps his fingers. ''Oh, yes! How can I forget? I got a present for you, my Karamatsu girl."

You 'ooh' and 'aah' in curiosity, while he retrieves whatever he brought along with him in the meantime.

When he pulls out a tank top with his face on it, the exact same one he's wearing as well, you don't know what to say in response. In fact, your brain might actually be buffering.

Have we lost the impact of shame in our modern-day society? You think in disdain, fighting off the pain in your ribs.

He blushes and hands it to you nonchalantly, ''Here, wear this so suitors know not to mess with you. Once they see you and I together, matching garments and walking hand in hand, they shall understand who the one true power couple is.''

You blink twice and slowly accept the gift, then without any hesitation whatsoever you put on the tank top and wear it over your clothes. You're in too deep already, anyway.

''Thanks a lot, Karamatsu. I, uh, don't know what to say,'' you fake flattery at his sincere act of courtesy, though you're not necessarily lying either. You genuinely have no idea what to say to this entire ordeal.

''No need to thank me, sunshine.'' He pirouettes in slow motion and when he stops, he stretches his hand out for you to take. There is an aura surrounding you and you can make out dreamy bubbles floating around him. And where did the harp come from? ''Now allow me to whisk you off to paradise.''

You grab his hand and excitedly lead him to your parked motorcycle. ''Great, let's go!'' You pat the pillion and stare at him expectantly.

Upon noticing his silence, you stop ushering him to the seat. ''What's wrong, Karamatsu?''

He scratches his nape and lets his head droop low. ''Is it... Um, do we have to get on top of that...'' He points a weak finger at the bike and trembles. What can he say, he has a fear of motorbikes now.

You pout at his inquiry. ''What, you don't wanna? But I thought you were into stuff like this. Why else would you wear a leather jacket?''

Karamatsu winces and immediately rushes to pacify you. ''No, no! That's not it! I was testing your limits, my dear Karamatsu girl. I apologize if－''

You laugh and place a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it soothingly. ''I was just kidding, but if you're really scared we don't have to. It's my fault, after all.''

Karamatsu juts his lip and furrows his eyebrows in determination. He draws a breath and wraps his fingers around your wrist with ease, advancing towards the vehicle with you right behind him.

You gaze at him with something akin to awe, or is it incredulity? He plants himself on the seat and looks back to address you.

''A real man knows better than to turn down a lady and disappoint her,'' he states conclusively. You chuckle and follow suit, sitting down on the saddle.

You grip his arms and move them so they're wrapped around your waist. You twist and turn the key and the engine roars to life in one swoop. ''Hold on tight, [Name] boy.'' You tease his way of talking and take off without a second warning.

His head smacks against your back with a rather rough thud and Karamatsu's clasp around your midsection is already tight enough to cut off your air supply. And even if you feel his tears dampening your clothes, you don't comment on it. Instead, you pick up even more speed and in turn, Karamatsu's hug deepens.

''Shouldn't we be wearing safety helmets,'' Karamatsu yells through the lump in his throat, his ears ringing and head spinning.

You shout back at him, ''Who even wears these things nowadays?'' At the lack of your elaboration, he figures you're dead serious and he's petrified all over again.

You laugh maniacally, or at least you do so in his mind, as you go off course, making sharp turns left and right at every corner to wreak havoc on innocent people's lives.

You narrowly dodge two pedestrians and Karamatsu is finally desensitized enough to smile and blush as he takes in the ever-changing view.

There's something sweet in the way you repeat a certain motion whenever you hear him chuckle and cheer, he can't pinpoint if that's the starving desperation that thirsts for touch and companionship or something else entirely.

But then something punctures your tire and he's pulled out of dreamland all at once.

The two of you wobble on the unstable bike for a bit before you pull him by the jacket and jump off the motorcycle, rolling on the ground like you two were in an action movie. The motorcycle continues on its way without your guidance and eventually crashes into a tree, exploding.

A tire with a flame on it flies over your heads and you study the fire, unimpressed with pursed lips. ''Thank god it was a gift from my ex, otherwise I would've been in some deep shit.''

Karamatsu sinks to the ground and curls up in a ball.

★

You plop your ass on the grass next to Karamatsu, handing him a soda you bought from the convenience store nearby. Karamatsu mutters a small 'thank you' and takes a sip.

The two of you sit in complete silence on the riverbank and you're too abashed to begin talking first, finding the whole outcome to be your fault. You've given this man too many apologies for them to feel truthful at this point. Maybe he should do the most logical thing and start evading you. You deserve it.

Amidst your inner conflict, Karamatsu fixes you with a solemn look and chooses to break the ice. ''[Name], am I ugly?''

Taken aback by the unusual question, you cock your head to the side. ''Huh?''

''Tell me, am I ugly?''

You consider him for a moment longer and then gently cup his face with your hands, inspecting it from every possible angle you could manage.

You narrow your eyes in concentration before ruffling his hair. ''Not at all.''

''Really?''

''Not in the slightest. Well, at least I see the appeal." You shrug noncommittally. ''Why're you asking, though? That pretty much came out of nowhere.''

''Because if I'm not ugly, then why would you want to kill me? Every woman I meet either ignores me, beats me half to death or hates me. Why? Am I really that painful? Is that going to be my fate for the entirety of my life?''

You blink and hum in thought, placing a finger on your chin. ''Very, you're real painful but not enough for me to want to kill you, I guess. I think you just have extremely bad luck.''

Karamatsu frowns and crosses his arms, ''You think so? Is it really just bad luck or is there something bigger at play?''

The two of you ponder over what the real cause of Karamatsu's misfortune may be before your stomachs growl in protest simultaneously.

This seems to revive his alter ego because Karamatsu jolts and he appears pleased, almost as if he had been waiting for this exact same moment. He chuckles and spreads eagle, facing the sun. You're concerned he's going to get a heat stroke.

''It's finally my turn,'' Karamatsu announces, though you're not sure he knows what he's talking about. ''I shall take the princess to an exquisite place, where she can try real fine dining!''

He strokes his imaginary facial hair, winking. Even his eyebrows seem more refined. ''Follow my lead, dove.'' You were going to do just that even without him saying anything, but you salute him regardless.

Even though mere minutes ago it was still sunny, for some reason it's already dark out. You and Karamatsu trek for what must have felt like hours until he stops dead in his tracks. You wonder why until you spot the lonely food stall and smile.

You and Karamatsu make yourselves comfortable on the bench and he greets the owner, ''Yo, Chibita! How's your night been so far?''

It just turned nighttime... You deadpan.

''Y'know, dealing with jackasses of your kind－,'' Chibita scoffs before pausing, turning to you with unblinking eyes. Then, after he's done assessing you, he redirects his attention to Karamatsu. ''You payin' for rental girlfriends again? Get some dignity, man.''

You raise an eyebrow in question, but sneer and hide it with your fist. ''Rental girlfriend? That's a good idea, why didn't I think of that?''

Karamatsu's expression sours. ''[Name] isn't a rental. Besides who are you to talk, Chibimi?''

''Shut up, don't remind me! I was in a dark place, idjit,'' Chibita yells in response and smacks him on the head with a ladle and you watch their antics with a hint of amusement.

''Anyway,'' Karamatsu waves him off, despite the large bump he earned on his forehead. ''Give us the best oden and beer you've got in store, I'll make sure my woman eats right tonight.''

You shudder in surprise as Karamatsu takes your hand into his own, gazing at you with what must be an entire galaxy in his eyes and you wonder where he found those E.T. contact lenses. ''Don't hold back, order whatever your heart desires. It's all on me.''

Chibita complies with the request, serving two portions of oden and the beverages Karamatsu asked for. Though, he can't help but want to sate his curiosity. ''With what money?''

''With the money I exploited from my Mommy,'' Karamatsu boasts like that's something to take immense pride in.

After three to four rounds of drinking and pigging out on Chibita's oden, it was time to wrap up and call it a night.

Karamatsu snakes his hands in his pockets in search of the money he claimed to have, but he freezes as he finds nothing instead. Turning his pockets inside out, a fly flutters out of them and Karamatsu pales.

You seem to get the memo and nod conspiratorially his way.

You square your shoulders as Karamatsu nervously clears his throat. ''Chibita...,'' he begins before throwing you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. ''I'm so sorry, I'll pay you back someday!''

Chibita stands still for a couple of seconds, processing. Afterwards, he lunges over the counter and begins chasing you. ''Damn it, idjit! You promised you'd pay, get back here! Damn it!''

With Chibita hot on your heels, Karamatsu goes through several alleyways as last resort shortcuts, and you come to the conclusion that Chibita is probably really scary if Karamatsu's going through so much trouble just to lose him and shake him off your trail.

"You can put me down now," you grumble and make a face. Karamatsu panics, just now realizing what predicament he had put you in, and sets you down with extra care.

"I apologize for that," he huffs out, attempting to catch his breath with his hands on his knees. You rub his back, acting as his emotional support.

Looking around the vicinity in search for any signs of Chibita, you come up empty. Helping Karamatsu to his feet, you deliver the good news. "He's gone, so you can stop looking constipated."

He sighs, relieved. "Such is the result of an eventful night. However, I will make sure your journey back home is undisturbed."

You shake your head in disagreement and throw an arm around his shoulder. "I think you've had enough, tough guy. Here, how about I take you home?"

Karamatsu seems distraught at the very idea of it, but for your sake he flips his hair and leers. "Your wish is my command."

With his directions, you manage to escort him back to his house safe and sound. Karamatsu opens his mouth to blurt out something, but is caught off guard by the abrupt change in the weather.

You both run with impressive speed under his house's roof to take cover and you deduct that the rain wouldn't be letting up for a while.

"Well, this sucks," you point out the obvious. Karamatsu nods wordlessly.

You think about calling a taxi, but something gets draped over you. You look down and are pleasantly astonished to discover that it's Karamatsu's leather jacket.

Said man is quivering in his flimsy excuse of a tank top, licentiously grinning at you with a very obvious snot bubble emerging out of his nostrils. "C-C-Can't le-let my favorite Karamatsu girl catch a cold." He elaborates for whatever reason.

"Well, I can't keep my favorite [Name] boy out for much longer, either." You give him a brief hug and were about to pull away, but Karamatsu is apparently not done dishing out surprises.

He grips your shoulders with resolve, before leaning in and kissing you on the cheek. It's a quick, demure kiss and if you were to blink, you would've missed it.

Nonplussed by his own boldness, Karamatsu stumbles towards the door with two left feet, barely succeeding in opening it.

"Get back home safely, [Name]!" He bids you farewell in true virgin fashion and slams the door shut in your face. You cackle, violently laughing to yourself and then crack a small smile, pressing a palm to your kissed cheek.

You must look like a fool, standing out in the rain while wearing a loser's clothes, but honestly? You've never felt better after such a tragic date.

★

You sigh and sling a towel over your shoulder, more than a little happy to finally clock out. Tonight had been particularly busy for some reason and working with a slight hangover was far from ideal, but it wasn't something you couldn't handle.

You dab your fellow bartender up, not even bothering to spare him a glance, and begin packing up your things with fervor.

He issues you a sly wink, ''Going home so soon, [Last Name]?''

Get a clue, wise guy. You internally roll your eyes, but only offer an exhausted smile. ''Not necessarily, got to make a pit stop on the way home.''

Akihito, you remember, folds his hands behind his head, rocking on his heels. ''Paying your boyfriend a visit?'' He hums cheekily.

You blink. ''Huh?''

He gestures towards the paper bag in your hands, which barely concealed the shitty leather jacket you were so generously lent.

You furrow your brows and scratch your cheek with an awkward expression. ''Wouldn't really call him a boyfriend...''

Akihito stretches, whining, ''You can be so cold, y'know. I feel sorry for the poor guy.''

''Another word and I'll really make you sorry.''

Akihito throws up a peace sign, grinning from ear to ear. ''Night, [Last Name]!''

You grumble under your breath and throw the towel on the ground. Akihito hears you say something along the lines of 'thought so' and other such death threats, but he feeds off your negativism. He odiosynthesizes and you know that, which makes you feel better about brushing him off, at least.

The walk to Karamatsu's place is as unmemorable as can be, and while it wouldn't kill you to see him again and chat for a bit, you don't think you'd be able to put up with him for long (or anyone else for that matter). When you spot his house, you brace yourself before sharply knocking on the door.

Well, you were supposed to knock but somehow developing last-minute Spidey senses, Karamatsu tears open the door to his balcony and puts a stop to your supposedly evil schemes. ''Don't'!'' He manages to both whisper and scream at the same time.

''What are you doing here at this hour, angel? Trying to get me crucified, perhaps?'' Karamatsu interrogates you and considering how disheveled his appearance is, you reach the conclusion that his fictional persona is merely an afterthought at the moment. You find a peace of mind at the conjecture.

''I'm just here to return your jacket,'' you say like it was obvious, which it should have been.

''I see.'' He doesn't see jackshit. ''But I cannot help but wonder why you didn't call beforehand. I, too, need my fair share of beauty sleep, sweetheart.''

Your eye twitches and you ball your fists, but remember to count to ten in your head.

''For your information, I called three times but maybe if someone bothered to pick up, I wouldn't be robbing you of your sweet dreams,'' you hiss in reply, proud of yourself for not chucking his damned jacket in the trash can in his presence.

Karamatsu rubs the crust from his eyes, though he does appear sheepish to a degree. ''My sincere apologies.''

You scoff, glad to have come out on top at this pointless back-and-forth.

Karamatsu anxiously chews on his lower lip, trying his best to conjure up a plan that will avoid his certain death at the hands of his brothers. Not even for waking them up at three in the morning, but for the mere fact that he was 'romancing' a hot chick.

Then he grins and looks down at you like a mad genius. He couldn't be further from the word.

''Climb up and join me on the roof, [Name],'' he suggests and acts as if it was a perfectly reasonable demand.

You undeliberately blank out for a second before chuckling lowly and nodding in understanding. ''I get it now. You're actually fucking nuts and escaped from a correctional facility.''

Look who's talking, Karamatsu wants to retort but he keeps it to himself. He beckons you over encouragingly, ''Please, [Name] dearest. I promise I won't let anything happen to you. I'll be your guardian angel.''

You're acutely aware that something will definitely happen, so you only click your tongue, still apprehensive about the proposition.

Karamatsu continues to stare at you with that tender smile, though it's different this time. His hair is sticking out in different directions, ungroomed. His eyes are heavy, bloodshot and sleep still clings to him as he staggers slightly in his step. But he's smiling at you, it's real.

You put aside your concerns for now and exhale slowly, biting the handles of your paper bag.

You jump and grab a hold of the portico, flailing your legs to help stabilize yourself. Your fingers burn because this is the most physically exerting thing you've done in your life thus far.

You push yourself up on the portico and, just like a mollusk, inch forward bit by bit. Karamatsu tries his hardest not to laugh at your misery, but he's unable to take you seriously. You're moving slower than an old man with two broken legs, plus you look like you have a stick shoved up your ass.

Once you're a safe distance away from the edge, you extend your arms and Karamatsu takes this as his cue to act and be useful.

He grabs your hands and hauls you up on the balcony, but this quest is not over just yet. You have to conquer the final boss; the rooftop.

''I have an idea,'' you both blurt out at random. You don't care much about that, but Karamatsu is over the moon at the perfect synchronization.

Coincidence or not, the two of you end up cooking up the same strategy.

You get on top of Karamatsu's shoulders and with the sudden added height, reaching the roof is a piece of cake. After settling your ass down on the tiles, you grit your teeth and clasp hands with him for the umpteenth time, having him work his way up as well.

With a heave-ho, Karamatsu is free to lie down beside you.

You're hit with a much needed reality check. All of this over a second-hand jacket? Unbelievable.

Tossing the paper bag on his lap carelessly, you scowl. ''You're welcome, asshole.''

''C-Come on, my dear Karamatsu girl. It wasn't that bad, right?''

''Speak for yourself...''

Karamatsu props up his elbows, craning his head up just enough to be able to see you. ''It's such a shame, however. The view from here is perfect, all that's missing is my guitar. Too bad my precious brothers are sleeping soundly.''

''Yeah, about that. I don't know what any of your brothers have to do with this, 'cause whatever the fuck this was could've been easily prevented.'' You cross your arms and turn away from him, establishing a decent amount of room between the two of you.

''You wouldn't understand, darling. Yes, even if I did give you an explanation.'' He responds, and you feel as though he was reading your mind. You shiver at the sheer thought.

The two of you don't indulge in idle chatter afterwards since you're too busy looking back on all of your previous life decisions, trying to figure out what led you to go down such paths. Karamatsu, on the other hand, is gliding himself closer to you.

You notice his ventures and decide to cut him some slack. You shift, erasing the previous space you set and move a hand to place on his shoulder. He hiccups at the touch and begins stammering, playing with his fingers. ''Hahaha... your eyes shine so brightly under the moon's glow.''

You shush him, still not in the mood to listen to his poetic nonsense and bullshit of similar nature.

The two of you stare each other down and Karamatsu does his best to put up a brave front, but you're not blind and you see the way he peers at you from under his lashes, sweating like a musclehead.

Before things could escalate any further, which you doubt is something that would have happened considering who exactly you're dealing with, the both of you slip off the edge.

You're falling and Karamatsu is too, and while you're mostly accepting of the scenario, he isn't. You're more surprised at the fact that this man-child's shrill wails aren't waking up the entire neighbourhood, though they're probably accustomed to these kinds of phenomena by now.

In order to break your fall, Karamatsu adjusts mid-air so as to be under you. He shoves your face into his chest, embracing you but his actions prove to be the wrong move as they merely speed up the process of nosediving into the concrete.

The two of you flop like prepped meatballs on a grill, a sinistrous thump resonating at the dead of night.

You briefly register the sizzling elbow pain you've obtained and Karamatsu's jaw headbutting you at the last second, but other than that you took it pretty well － all thanks to Karamatsu's interference. Perhaps chivalry isn't dead?

While you got out of this with barely any injuries, just small scratches, the same couldn't be said for Karamatsu, who was currently experiencing concussions.

You pat his chest lightly to snatch up his attention. Karamatsu groans, seeing stars floating above him. You make yourself comfortable despite the joint strains, snuggling up to him. ''I'm egging your house soon, be aware.''

He passes out before he could formulate a coherent reply.

★

You haven't seen neither hide nor hair of Karamatsu ever since the rooftop fiasco. And you don't want to sound needy, or downright crazy for that matter, but you miss the man with horrible pick-up lines and over-the-top attitude. Him and his awful sense of fashion, not to mention the strong cologne.

Perhaps you've been infected with some new kind of mental illness, one so new and fresh out of the oven it has yet to be diagnosed by teenage girls with too much free time on their hands.

First, you visit Chibita for any sort of intel he might possess.

''Karamatsu? Sorry, him and his brothers hadn't stopped by as of recent.'' He shrugs apologetically and whips out oden skewers, serving them to you.

You nod and grin at him in understanding, paying for the food before scurrying away on a full stomach.

Next, you consider what other options you have at your disposal. Calling him has proven to be absolutely useless and you're not sure if paying his house a visit would be a good idea, given how worked up he got over such a possibility last time.

You search far and wide, in every nook and cranny, not leaving a single stone unturned. But alas, no dice. Not a trace of him anywhere and you speculate the probability of him glitching into The Backrooms.

You're about to give up, hunting Karamatsu for sport and worrying about him won't do you any good.

You're not getting paid for this, you also don't know him all too well to be actively seeking him out. His dramatic temperament has rubbed off on you, but you're ready to wash it off.

See if I care, you huff and kick a stray can in your way. You're aware of how childishly you're behaving, but you bluff fake indifference as if anyone would be stupid enough to believe you.

You stomp angrily and punt another can with your foot, but accidentally hit someone when doing so.

You flinch and prepare to half-ass an apology before realizing you hit the man you've been getting grey hairs over.

''Karamatsu?'' You blink and crouch down to shake him by the shoulders. ''Hey, what's wrong?''

Karamatsu weakly smiles and shuffles away, offering you a seat next to him on the curb.

You frown, ''Seriously, what happened?''

Karamatsu laughs, manspreading. ''I'm grateful for your concern, but it's... Well, it's simply a foolish thing to be upset about.''

''If it upset you, then it's not dumb.'' You respond, reassuring him to the best of your ability. ''Now, spill the beans.''

''I've been thinking about my personality, I guess?'' He mutters and cracks his knuckles, he tends to fidget quite a lot. ''Like, am I annoying? Trying too hard? Should I stop?''

You listen to him and stay quiet, occassionally rubbing his back. ''I want to be liked.'' You quirk an eyebrow at that, but don't interrupt him otherwise.

''It's lame at my big age to want to be popular, but I wanna be kissed. I wanna have a girlfriend and go on dates, but I'm afraid my personality will drive everyone away."

For fuck's sake, he was called Shittymatsu and frankly, he's surprised you were able to withstand him for so long.

''Karamatsu, want me to be completely honest,'' you ask. He nods rapidly at you. You hum softly, ''I didn't lie before, you are painful. You say so much corny stuff, I'm impressed you can even look yourself in the mirror.''

He cringes, but you pay him no heed. Instead, you continue, ''I mean, really? Who wears tank tops with their face slapped right in the middle, what a fucking dork. But, y'know, I kinda like it now.''

''Huh?''

''I think that type of shit grew on me, for better or worse. I, too, have become a member of the cornball community." You admit and you shudder at your mushy honesty.

You rub the back of your head in embarrassment, "When you say all of these dumb nicknames and act like you own all of Akatsuka Ward a small part of me wishes I die on the spot, but I don't necessarily hate it.''

You hug him and bring him closer to you. You snicker and peck him on the forehead, ''Don't worry so much about who ignores you or hates you is all, when you have someone who likes you despite every cringe one-liner right in front of ya.''

''You're right.'' Karamatsu returns the hug, sniffing and holding back tears. ''[Name]?''

''Yeah?''

''You're a true Karamatsu girl.''

Getting kisses from a hot lady? Karamatsu would love that. And the prospect of you being the one to give them to him, with that warm smile which makes your nose crinkle up, makes the scenario sound even better.

But for now, he's content with you simply pressed up against his side, where he can easily peer over at you and study your face until it's burned and etched forever into his brain. Subtly, of course.

You look up at him with a raised eyebrow after feeling him drill holes in your head since forever, which in turn leads Karamatsu to let out an urbane chuckle and lamely pretend to fix his stray strands of hair, and you can't help but snort at his usual theatrical character.

You sigh and rest your forehead against his. "Painful," you mumble under your breath, though definitely loud enough for him to hear, then giggle.

Karamatsu playfully frowns in response. "My flower, you should know by now that no pain means no gain." He tuts with an exaggerated wag of his finger, eyes animatedly glittering.

You laugh in utter disbelief before shaking your head, wrapping a loose arm around his waist. "Sorry, sorry. You know damn well I don't mean it, right?"

Karamatsu hums and his lips curl upwards to form a small, fond smile. He places his chin on your shoulder and you lean into him even more.

Yeah, Karamatsu could get used to this. For now, that was more than enough for him.

Getting kisses from a hot lady really would be nice, but watching the sun set on the cold pavement with you next to him feels good, too. And hey, you are a hot lady, so what's there to hate?

And to think all of this was thanks to your irresponsible driving.

Osomatsu whistles, nudging Choromatsu as they stared at the two of you from afar. Despite their earlier sentiments, curiosity got the better of them and they decided to investigate their brother's own private time. It's not like he could file a restraining order against them, he would be tortured.

"Kudos to Karamatsu, I actually salute him for managing to bag a real human being. Didn't think he had it in him." Osomatsu snickers, hands deep in his hoodie's pockets.

Choromatsu appears depleted beyond belief, eyeing you both with evident disapproval on his facial features, "What sort of lobotomized romance was this? Felt more like a simulation."

Osomatsu and Choromatsu sigh, both fully synchronized, and groan out, "It should have been me."

[nolita-fairytale]

make my heart surrender (carmy berzatto x fem!reader) | chapter two: wednesday

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

warnings: lots of swearing, lots of angst in this one, use of she/her pronouns, allusions to sex, eventual smut, smoking (plz remember smoking is injurious to your health, ppl), avoidance tactics, mentions of al-anon, no use of y/n, second person pov, mentions of death/mikey's suicide

word count: 3.3k

summary: while you get to know the kitchen staff of the bear a little better, you and carmy finally acknowledge the elephant in the room.

a/n: the song 'about you' by the 1975 makes me think of these two and is where the title comes from. also, i totally made up the pete has an airbnb thing but i just feel like he'd be in real estate or something with his little patagonia vests lol. anyways, happy valentine's day babes & enjoy!

read: part one | masterlist

Wednesday 

“Okay, this is some next level shit,” Marcus concludes, in between chews as he tries the brioche donuts you let rise overnight. “It’s got everything I like about the yeast donut but the flavor is so much more pronounced.”

“Carmy said you knew how to throw down but.”

Sydney nods, taking another bite of hers, and you watch as Fak holds the donut up to his ear, letting out a wild, “Wow.”

“Oh fuck,” Sydney practically groans, the salty-sweet flavors of the caramel hitting her taste buds.

Last night, pre-dinner shift, you were introduced to the colorful cast of characters that filled up this kitchen. There was Richie, Carmy’s not-biological-cousin cousin, and Tina, who’d been working in this kitchen since before any of you were born. And Neil the handyman, who somehow actively chose to go back his last name, Fak, which puzzled you. Then there was Ebrahim, who seemed to serve as the meat prep cook and the onsite first-aid guy. And Sydney, the brilliant sous who’d worked in fine dining kitchens till she came here, eager to learn from Carmy. 

It was a far cry from the kitchens you and Carmy used to work in but this kitchen there were similarities… things every kitchen has. Everyone has their own little quirks, preferences, styles…. 

They’re just a little more, well, allowed to be themselves and while overwhelming, you find it refreshing as well.

Fak smells the donut next, followed by another ‘wow,’ and your eyes widen as Fak begins licking just the icing. 

“Wow,” Fak repeats, carrying on his more-than-peculiar behavior. 

“Is he-?” you start, sharing a look with Sydney next. 

…alright? Is this normal? Is he okay?

“Yeah, sometimes we just let him–,” Sydney tries to explain, but she’s not quite sure how to explain Neil Fak to anyone outside of their ecosystem. 

“Okay.”

“Anyways, so this is just a personal preference and perhaps a symptom of too much time spent in fine dining, but I like to fuck around with weird flavors,” you continue to explain, in reference to the salty miso caramel creme pat you’ve filled the donut with. 

“I’m not much for too sweet-of-sweets,” you announce, earning a laugh from Marcus and Sydney. “... which yes, is a very odd thing to say for a pastry chef. So I like to find combinations that cut the sweetness of anything and give the taste buds another experience at the same time.”

“Which isn’t the direction you have to take your pastries, chef.”

Marcus shakes his head, “No, this is… super cool. And I like it a lot.”

“I apologize in advance if I sound like a total loser,” Sydney starts, placing her donut down on the paper towel. “But when I was at the CIA, I actually had your lemongrass creme brulee.

“With the black sesame ice cream?”

“And the sesame crumble.”

“Oh my god!” you exclaim. What a blast from the past. “Yeah, I had to fight hard to get some of those ingredients on the menu. You know. Before everyone thought it was cool to do shit like that.”

Sydney smiles in agreement, going back for more of her donut. 

“So what’re we workin’ on next, chef?” Marcus asks. He has his notebook out and has a few renderings drawn up with ideas he had last night. 

“Well now that we’ve built a great brioche together, I’d love to keep practicing your piping technique and-,” you begin, stopping mid sentence as Carmy joins the three of you. 

“Mornin’, chef! Hey, try this,” Marcus greets, ecstatic about the results of just a day of working with you, as he hands Carmy a donut. 

He takes it, immediately taking a bite. You can practically see the gears turning in his head as he processes and dissects every single flavor note he experiences. You’re all quiet as you wait for his response. 

And honestly, you’re still pretty pissed off about him leaving you hanging the day before. After you and Marcus finished up your prep, you had made your way back to your airbnb – the one he set you up in when he asked you to come here. 

You had tried your best not to feel like a total loser as you hoped he'd reach out with an explanation. No call, no text, no nothing, wondering why he asked you to come in the first place. 

Carmy takes his time savoring his first bite. 

“I almost forgot how good you are at this,” he compliments, his tone neutral as if it’s just a fact. 

“Thank you, chef,” is all you say back to him. You clear your throat, avoiding his gaze, and continuing to go over today’s bake with Marcus. 

You don’t mean to ignore Carmy, but you’re not sure how to act around him either. One minute he’s ignoring you, and the next he’s making you breakfast. And then he’s standing you up, leaving in the hands of his brash cousin? Maybe, you think to yourself, it’s best to keep things professional between the two of you. 

*

You work with Marcus till an hour or so into the lunch shift. You both agreed to start your days early, since you’re only here for a week, so that you could cram as much knowledge in as possible.

Marcus asks if he can take point on flavor pairings for tomorrow’s donuts, and you agree, before parting ways till later this evening. You’ve got to come back later today from one more late night prep. 

You haven’t spoken much to Carmy at all since he came in. As much as you’ve tried to focus all of your attention on working with Marcus, Carmy has a commanding presence as he expedites. He’s got something most chefs don’t – true leadership – and it seems like his skills have only improved since he left New York. You gather up your things, preparing to take the subway home for a midday nap, heading out the back door. 

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t know you were… out here,” you gasp. You're surprised to find Carmy sitting behind the shop, sitting a few stacked crates and smoking a cigarette.

Well, that part isn’t surprising – the smoking part. You contemplate taking a seat next to him and asking him for one, but you’re really trying to cut back these days.

“It’s-, you’re good,” he says, taking another drag. He exhales smoke and the eery feeling of deja vu overtakes you.

Instead of leaving, and continuing this game of avoidance, you stand your ground.

“Are you avoiding me?” you finally muster up the courage to ask. You try your best not to sound as angry with him as you are, to no avail, as more words begin tumbling out of your mouth. “Because, if I recall correctly, Carmy, you asked me to come out here.”

Carmy waits a beat, avoiding your gaze, and it only infuriates you further. You watch as he takes another hit off of the cigarette as you continue, your rage boiling up within you.

“I don’t get it!” you exclaim, shaking your head in pure disbelief. You’re trying your best not to shout. “You ask me to come out here, and make it as easy as possible for me to be here by putting me up in this airbnb, you make me breakfast, and then… what? It’s like-, it’s like I don’t exist?” 

He doesn’t answer.

“It’s always been like this with you. One step forward and five steps back.” 

You wait before saying the next thing. 

You’re not trying to be mean, but you’re hurt, and this whole experience has all been so confusing. 

“I guess I was fucking idiot to believe that you-, that you wanted me out here or something.”

“That’s not true,” Carmy denies, finally breaking his silence. Finally looking at you, even if just for a moment. His eyes return to the concrete pavement below him as he says, “I just-.”

You don’t want to scare him away now that he’s finally talking to you, but you also want answers. And there’s an elephant in the room that maybe, if you both just acknowledged it, could go away. He puts his cigarette out on the cement beneath his feat, tossing it away onto the concrete.

You lower your voice before speaking again. 

“Are you… do you still feel weird about what happened between us?” you ask cautiously, eager to fix whatever the hell it is between the two of you. “Because I didn’t think we’d have to talk about it since, well-, I just thought we said we’d just forget it. I mean, I’m not-, I don’t-, I just don’t want things to be this weird between us, Carm." 

In some ways, you don’t blame him. You had seen him at his absolute lowest: the day Mikey died. You wonder if he felt too ashamed of how vulnerable he had been. You wondered if he still felt weird about what had happened next….

You had argued with him that day – practically demanded that he not go in for dinner service that night. You knew he had wanted a distraction, but after the phone call, after learning what Mikey had done, you knew he was wrecked – even if he wouldn’t admit it. That level of denial couldn’t be healthy, but he'd snapped at you and you didn't think there was much you could do about it. It didn’t take long for him to blow up at a line cook mid-shift, and you had quickly ushered him into the walk-in. 

“Hey! You can’t do this shit. Not here. These people look up to you!” you had chastised him. “Listen, I’m going to give you five minutes to fuckin’ lose it in here, and then you’ve gotta pull it together and finish dinner service, okay?” 

Carmy had grabbed at his chest, and you knew he was having one of his breathing episodes. 

“Carmy, are you o-?"

He’d held out his hand, as if to stop you from coming any closer, so reluctantly, you’d left him to it, closing the door behind you. The sound of empty storage containers being thrown across the walk-in filled your ears, reinforcing your exact reasons why you hadn't thought it was a good idea for him to come in that night.

That night, you had made sure he got home okay, and he’d practically begged you to stay with him. It hadn’t been the first time you’d slept in the same bed, and you knew he was at his lowest point, in need of company. It hadn’t been until he started crying – sobbing really – that he finally broke.

“Carm,” you had whispered, unsure if he wanted you to acknowledge it or not. 

“Carmy.” 

He had turned to you so tenderly, practically folding himself into your body. You had never seen him like that as he’d buried his face into your chest, his body shaking against yours. 

“I’m so sorry, Carm. I’m so sorry,” you had whispered, over and over again. You stroked his hair, wanting nothing more than to ease the pain of your best friend, but you knew there wasn’t much you could do. You’d let him cry, continuing to run your fingers along his scalp and through his delicate curls, desperate to give him any kind of comfort your could.

When he finally looked up, all he could think to do was to kiss you. You had been taken aback -- caught off guard as you'd pulled away from him.

“Carmy, stop it. You’re not-, you’re not okay right now,” you had said, pushing him away. 

At that moment, his eyes were swollen, his face red, and he looked like you had just kicked his puppy. He had leaned his head against your chest again with a sigh, letting out another sob, and you’d felt that he’d put you in an impossible position. 

You’d have been lying if you said you hadn’t wanted it – hadn’t thought about it before – but Carmy had never given you any inkling that he was even interested in dating anyone. You had been perfectly fine being ‘just friends’ with him despite the whispers between the kitchen staff when no one thought you were listening. And now? You knew he wouldn’t be in the right headspace. It wouldn't be fair to either of you.

“I’m sorry, Carm,” you’d apologized softly. “I just feel like-, well I’d feel like I'd be taking advantage. I don’t think we should.”

His silence had only made you more nervous, beginning to over explain yourself.

“It’s not that I don’t want to. I-, I do. I just… I don’t want you to regret it because… because you’re upset right now and cause you more-.”

“Please,” was all he'd said, breaking his silence and looking up at you with those sad, swollen blue eyes. He leans in to kiss you once more. 

“Please.”

In between kisses you’d managed to ask, “Are you- are you sure? Is this really what you-?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve wanted this for so long. Just-, please,” he whispered, murmuring your name into the soft kisses he had left on your skin. “Just wanna feel good.”

“Just wanna feel good.”

It was then that you’d realized what absolute fucking idiots the two of you had been for the past few years by ignoring this thing between the two of you. 

The truth was that you were fully, wholly, and stupidly in love with each other. 

“Yes,” you’d repeated, finally giving into him.

Even though it should’ve been a beginning, it felt like an end, but for one night, you’d indulged the both of you. 

“I know,” he says, his voice pulling you back into the present. His eyes are fixated on the pieces of gravel that sat between his feet. Even though you both agreed to it, he hadn’t forgotten about what happened between the two of you and he’s not sure if he should tell you that too. 

But that’s not what’s wrong. It’s not why he’s avoiding you. Or maybe it’s part of it. He hadn’t expected seeing you to be this hard. That it would bring it all back – wanting you – so much so that those incredibly big feelings had sent him running to a meeting. 

He just needed a place to be unapologetically fucked up. 

He’s not sure what he thought would happen – like you’d just fall into the same old rhythm of your friendship without a care in the world. 

He’d called Sydney yesterday and he could barely breathe. Sydney had told him to take the night off – that it wouldn’t help to come back to the kitchen that night – and that he had a whole week of you to prepare for. To figure this shit out. 

“I um,” he starts. He’s not sure why it’s so hard to get these words out; why it feels so difficult to tell you. “I’ve kinda been going to these al-anon meetings…ever since, well you know… since I got home.”

“Oh.”

Well that wasn’t what you were expecting him to say. You’re not sure what you were expecting him to say. That he hates you? That he couldn’t stand being in the same kitchen with you and yesterday brought it all back? That it was a mistake reaching out to you?

You sit down on the curb, next to Carmy, leaving plenty of space between the two of you. 

“My sister nagged me to go. Thought it was bullshit but… I don’t know why I kept going back. I still go three times a week.” 

You stare at the ground, not sure what to say next. All that comes out is:

“Well I feel like an asshole.”

He scoffs, moreso to himself, “No, you’re not. I-, I’m sorry. I should’ve-.”

You can tell he’s frustrated as he huffs, “I don’t know why this is so hard for me to tell you.”

You sigh, scooting a hair closer to your old friend. 

“I don’t know either, Carm. I-, we used to tell each other everything.”

“I know.” 

You catch his gaze, your eyes meeting with his, and it feels like you can’t breathe for a moment. 

“I should’ve called. Should’ve kept in touch. Guess I just feel like-, I don’t know,” Carmy admits, regretfully. “I know I’ve been….”

“Uh huh. You’ve been….” you trail off. 

“But I do. Want you here.”

And that’s the problem, he thinks to himself.

“I know I’ve been a dick. I shouldn't have-.”

You take a breath, processing all of it. 

“Can we… not have this conversation again?” you ask, taking a lighter tone this time. “I mean, we sorta had a very similar conversation to this yesterday… and now today… like… are you gonna stop being such a fuckin’ weirdo or what?”

He lets out a small laugh, “Yeah. Yeah I-, I’m gonna stop, well, you know.”

You chuckle in response, continuing to tease him, “Good because… you know usually when your friend comes to town you hang out a little, catch up, say hey hello how are you? I mean, maybe I’m totally out of pocket for this, but sometimes, you know… they even hug. Yeah, Carm, like, normal people.”

“Oh fuck you,” he mutters, jokingly. 

It’s quiet between the two of you, but for the first time in the last 48 hours, it's not weird. It’s a familiar quiet intimacy – something that reminds you of the before times. 

Before Mikey died.

Before you hooked up. 

“Hey, Carm?”

“Yeah?”

“I want to be here too,” you reassure in response to what he said earlier, bumping your shoulder up against his, playfully, earning the slightest smile from him. 

“How’s the place?”

“Surprisingly, very nice,” you answer, a mischievous tone in your voice like you know it’s going to start something. 

“What? You think I’d put you up in a shit place?” Carmy asks, feigning offense. 

“I’ve been in your New York apartment, Berzatto. Which is mostly why we spent most of our days off at mine,” you continue. 

He laughs dryly in response. 

“My brother-in-law manages a few airbnbs so… it’s the least I could do for… you know… you comin’ out here,” he explains. 

“Well thanks. It’s-, it’s great.” 

*

“I gotta get out of here early, and pick up the kid. Have a goodnight, sweetheart,” Richie says to you, about to head out of the restaurant. 

“Richie, what the fuck did I fuckin’ tell you about saying shit like that!” Carmen shouts back at his cousin, with an eye roll. 

“So sorry,” Richie says sarcastically, emphasizing your name after. “Gotta woke-ify everything in front of Carmen. Just a little baby.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Carmy yells across the kitchen, moving quickly through the closing shift chores. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Richie brushes off Carmy’s comment with an eye roll. 

“See you fucks tomorrow.”

“This look good, chef?” Marcus asks you, motioning for you to come over and take a look at the mixer. 

You reach down into the mixer, checking the dough for texture. 

“Yeah, looks good. Go ahead and grab a few sheet pans so we can shape these and we’ll cover ‘em so they can proof overnight,” you order, Marcus nodding in response. 

“Thank you, chef.” 

As Marcus disappears, in search of a few sheet pans, Carmy’s wiping down one of the prep stations. 

“Hey, you,” you say, a smile on your face as soon as you see him. 

After your talk this afternoon, things feel lighter. He feels lighter. 

“Hey,” he says, finishing up with his cleaning duty before making his way over to you. Carmy checks to see that Marcus hasn’t come back yet, and you notice.

“Great dinner service, huh?” you congratulate. 

“We’re gettin’ there,” he replies. “Smoothest it’s been so far. Since the reopen.”

Ah yes. The reopen. You’re still waiting to hear that story. 

“I was thinkin’, maybe we could do that catch up thing? Over a drink?” Carmy proposes, changing the subject, and you think to yourself that it’s the most confident you’ve ever seen him. 

“I-,” you start, as Marcus makes his way back towards the pastry area. “We’ve got one more late night prep tonight. Maybe tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” he smiles, spotting Marcus as well. “Tomorrow’s good.” 

“Goodnight, Carmy.”

“Goodnight.”

read: part three

[beevean]

You know, the funniest thing about how the games treat Dracula compared to the show is that the former have no less than four foils for our villain! To really hammer in the point that dude chose to be a bastard when he could have not!

Alucard also lost Lisa - he watched her die, he listened to her last words, and by all account it was a slow, painful death. He could have been angry towards the mob who unfairly put his mother through such a terrible death. Instead, accepting Lisa's final message, he chose to protect humanity from his father's fury, and kill him over and over which causes him so much internal turmoil that he'd rather sleep his life away.

Soma discovered that his fate was to become the Dark Lord. He simply refused. In fact, he was scared to become the Dark Lord, to the point of making Julius promise that if he lost against Chaos, the vampire hunter would kill him. Soma wants to be a normal human with his friends, and he'll fight to stay so. (worthy of noting that he's the only foil here who can't resist the darkness' call when he sees his beloved die, in DoS: Mina's Talisman can only slow the process down for Arikado to intervene in time. It proves that he really has to struggle to remain as himself)

Hector also was forced to see her beloved be executed in a sham witch trial - deliberately! Isaac deliberately set this up to enrage him to the point of being easily manipulable, and Death deliberately fanned the flames of his anger so that he'd succumb to the Curse and become Dracula. Hector not only directed all of his anger to the only responsible for Rosaly's death, but by the end he pulled back, because he realized that anger was not real, and recognized Isaac as another victim before peacefully moving on.

And Leon also had his fiancée die (see a pattern here), in fact he had to strike the fatal blow, under her request. Mathias honestly believed that because of this, Leon would understand his grief, and also renounce to God. But Leon not only had no intention to forgive Mathias for his cruel plan, he insisted that he'd rather live as a human and honor Sara's final wish, than exist for all eternity all alone, the fate Mathias doomed himself to.

So yes, eventually it almost becomes funny how much the games keep insisting "look at how much of a pathetic loser Dracula is. what a weak bitch. really thinks he's all justified because Wife Died™. Look at all these badasses with Dead Wives™ and how they still do the right thing! lol, dracula. lmao, even."

the virgin "he did nothing wrong 🥺" vs the chad "he did everything wrong and he's a petty manbaby about it". we stan

(ofc there is the heavy implication that Dracula literally cannot move on nor become a better person because of Chaos' influence inside him, which is why his soul had to do a hard reboot in the form of Soma to be freed from the cycle of destruction he stuck himself in. But there is certainly a discussion to be had about how much this affects Dracula's agency and culpability)

[lefetellc]

Eerie Dating other Eris-Sonas :3

Okay so after the first round of dating, I think it's time we get some sonas who get a glimpse of a submissive-like Eerie (for varying reasons) Also, there isn't much art here; I did plan to draw them with Eerie, but I lost energy from so much Eerie lol

With the intro over, let the Eris games... begin!

.

.

First is Lee by @0x0y0z0

Instead of highschool, Eerie meets Lee at the start of college

I imagine that instead of Eerie approaching first, it would be Lee

Lee is either extremely forward or always beating around the bush because of his excessive awkwardness

Now, the reason Lee would confess to Eerie could be for differing reasons

One could be that Lee wanted to enjoy a more extroverted-life and get over his extreme awkwardness

Another could be that Lee is interested in Eerie's... eerie behavior. Eerie is always walking around college with a thick backpack and a constant aroma of gunpowder from him. For those reasons, Lee concluded that Eerie was secretly carrying guns around school

Either way, Eerie would welcome Lee with open arms and a cheery :3 smile

To Eerie, Lee was a loner with a dark aesthetic. And if you know anything about Eerie, you'd know he loves that dark theme

Eerie would talk to Lee about joining his friend group after they talk a bit more, probably in passing through classes

When Lee reluctantly agrees, Eerie excitedly bring him to meet Villa, Desmond, and Seph

Judging from everyone's attitude, everyone would accept Lee into the friend group

Villa and Desmond will have their suspicions

Eerie has brought certain... people to school. And they'd all leave with that familiar toxic, smoke-like scent Eerie carried.

After hanging out more; weekdays, weekends, and pretty much any free hour, Eerie would buddy up with Lee

Eerie loved hanging out with such a quiet loner. In comparison to Milo (who isn't in this story) Milo is also a loser like Lee in terms of awkwardness, but what Lee has over Milo is style

It's one of the only reasons Eerie keeps Lee around

Eerie enjoys touching and messing with Lee's hair and clothes. Pocketing buttons and photos taken to laugh at later with his other 'friends'

When Eerie got too close and intimate with Lee, Lee would shoot him a deathly gaze and force Eerie off

The sudden change would excite Eerie, prompting him to hit and whisper in Lee's ear

Similar to other sonas, Eerie wanted to incite something in Lee so he'd do something drastic and eye-catching

After probing and picking at Lee's skin for a whole year, he'd crack and finally pin Eerie down.

Eerie gulps, feeling his heart race at the shorter boy on top of him

The cold tiles beneath his back didn't ease his heart, and oh god, he loved it

He loved every second of having that excitement when Lee finally cracked and bared his teeth

This is how their relationship goes. Eerie would constantly step on Lee's coattails to get him to dominate Eerie again-- get his heart pumping more and more

Once Lee gets used to the typical tricks and plays, Eerie steps up his teasing to abusive levels

Their toxic relationship probably 'ends' with Lee dramatically hurting Eerie so the tall man would be sent to the hospital

But even then, Eerie would only run back again only this time with actual guns and a hot fighting spirit to go again. Eerie wants to prolong that adrenaline rush as long as possible.

Eerie sees Lee as a game to give him more excitement, similar to those life-or-death horror movies where the stakes are high.

He won't be letting Lee go anytime soon, as much as he punches or hurts Eerie back

Next is Portia by @emipotato :3

Similar to Eerie, Portia would be holed up inside her house all day and night.

Eerie found that interesting: so other parents rob kids of their childhood, huh?

He'd feel a small level of connection with Portia, but he'd never outwardly approach her because she wasn't interesting *enough*

It was in middle school that Eerie caught Portia stalking him; he felt grossed out but mildly intrigued. What made her do such a thing?

That was all he felt in middle school; he never let Portia know he was keeping tabs on her

In High school is when Eerie finally let himself be free. He'd bring guns to school and vibrate with excitement every time people curiously stepped closer to his bag.

Nobody knew he had such things inside his bag; his mom and dad didn't know either, even though they were the ones who bought the equipment

On an especially cold day, Eerie left his p.e clothes in his bookbag and opted to stay in his regular outfit

When the period finally ended, he returned to his bag and found the entire thing a mess. The magazine which was already full of bullets was missing one. He knew; he counted each of them every night with joy

His clothes were messed with aswell; there were muddy marks and ruffles in his original perfectly folded unfirom.

He eyed the students around; who could've touched it? Various kids played on the field and got themselves dirty from the mud

After all, it had rained yesterday

He scowled and furiously demanded the person who did it to stand up; he didn't talk about his gun, but people were still firghtened

He noted how nobody stand up

The following night, he made sure every student was innocent by telling his 'friends' to keep a watchful eye on them. If they complied properly, he'd let them shoot a few shots at his shooting range at his house

And complied they did; he got reports from each guy telling him how their target's bags were empty of the bullet. None of them had dirty hands either.

He was even more infuriated - so much that he was tempted to shoot one of his friends right then and there- but he held back and gave them his catty smile.

"I want you to fucking think; use that dumbass brain of yours for once and understand what I'm saying. Find the stupid asshole who stole my bullet and bring them to me or else I'll have your head on the news tomorrow."

His friends nodded weakly, going their separate ways. Originally, they planned to coordinate a random student to put the blame on; that was until a mysterious girl stepped up from the shadows

She confessed: "I did it"

They looked dumbfounded. It was really that easy?

They looked at her skeptically. One of the boys recognized her as that sickly kid who always arrived late from school with a dcotor's note. Not to mention the terrible earthy smell coming from her.

Nevertheless, they brought her back to Eerie.

Eerie raised a brow, interested in why an ugly girl like her would do such a thing.

However, it was when it clicked; the earthy smell coming from her came from the rain that came down yesterday. That meant she was outside; for what reason? Only Eerie could answer

Outside his window the previous night, he saw her standing in the rain outside his window.

He couldn't deny that her desperation was amusing. Not exciting, but amusing. Like a joke you'd have when you're breaking up the silence

Eerie decided that he'd let her hang around. Their relationship would be very ambiguous, since Eerie never told anyone about them officially dating. In fact, you could say it was a one-sided relationship

Eerie didn't bother texting Portia back; he didn't gift her anything nor did he comfort her when she got sick from waiting in the rain weather

Eerie made her wait; waiting and waiting until college when he finally told her to fuck off.

Eerie thought she was amusing, but now she was just a clown wearing a tatterd old uniform. The joke wasn't funny anymore and Eerie was finally letting his emotions out.

His memory is very blurry after that.

Eerie couldn't recall much other than Portia saying how he needed to get his mind straight

After that, Eerie found himself being isolated in a basement (Typical Yandere behavior perhaps?)

Eerie would remain in that basement for a year, being restless and whining about 'entertainment' and how 'disgusting and boring' everything was.

Portia would have him inside her basement for however long she wanted; the darkness would corrode at Eerie's will at some point, hopefully

Over that timespan, Portia would dote on Eerie and give him love and affection so she'd be seen as more of a romantic partner for him rather than a clown

This may be ooc for Portia, but for her this was her breaking point. She'd been ignored for so long, and after getting a small glimpse of a romantic life with Eerie, she couldn't let go of it

That's where their relationship ends or rather begins, in Portia's eyes

Eerie is locked up and bound inside her basement, surrendered to her continuous methods of swaying him

It's unknown if he actually ever submits, but he's very close to. The unbearing loneliness makes him crave something, anything exciting

Portia was his only entertainment in that isolation

In the end, Eerie forever sees Portia as entertainment or some gag to laugh at. I doubt Portia will ever pursue a real relationship with Eerie.

This marks the end of Eerie dating pt2!

Hopefully I can get through some more Eris-sonas, but who knows *shrug*

:3

[thewhiskersonkittens]

Drive In

Pairing: Pete “Maverick” Mitchell (Present Day) x Female Reader.

Summary: After unsuccessfully navigating the crazy world of online dating apps, you meet Pete “Maverick” Mitchell and agree to go to a drive-in and perhaps you have finally met your perfect match.

Warnings: Fluff, romantic, some profanity, toxic dating app horror stories.

A/N: This was requested by Anon. Hope y’all enjoy! :)

Back in the day, Maverick considered himself to be quite the Casanova. It used to be so easy, come so naturally. Maybe because thirty years ago he was a lot younger and his jet black hair wasn't fading. His body was still firm and taunt, in his line of work it was a major priority to keep in shape, but his face had become worn, the skin around his green eyes now had wrinkles.

"You're still a very good looking man," Phoenix told him when she, Coyote, Payback, Bob, and Rooster was helping him make his dating app profile.

All eyes were on her when the aviator quickly added, embarrassed:

"Respectfully speaking, of course, sir!"

The guys chuckled while Maverick tried to hold back his amusement.

Coyote let out a low whistle.

"Ooo, Phoenix got the hots for Captain." He teased.

"I do not!" Phoenix defended. "And I swear to God, if this gets back to Hangman, I'll kill you."

She shot a death glare at Coyote, that made him straighten up quick. She shot the look to all the guys meaning business.

Maverick patted Phoenix on her shoulder to assure her it was OK.

"Thank you, Phoenix. I appreciate the compliment."

He held up his phone and returned his attention back to the profile.

"Are you guys sure this is the right thing to do?"

He wrinkled his brow. The whole process seemed so unnatural to him.

"If you filled out all the questions honestly the algorithm will try to bring you the best possible matches." Bob commented.

"But the algorithm doesn't get it right 100% of the time." Payback added, looking at Maverick. 

"What do you mean?" Maverick asked.

"He means there might be a dud or two," Coyote answered.

"But still the odds are in your favor." Phoenix encouraged.

Maverick sighed as he closed the app and pocketed his phone. He was tired of thinking about it for now.

"There used to be a point in time when I could just sing to a woman in a club as a way of flirting."

"Sounds lame," Rooster finally chimed in.

Maverick gave him a pointed look.

"Lame, huh?” Maverick chuckled, the memories coming back to him. It all seemed just like yesterday but also a lifetime ago.  “Guess who was my wingman?"

***

You were two seconds away from throwing your phone across the room. You'd do it, too, not caring if it broke, the only thing was you knew how much you needed the damn thing.

Stupid dating apps. After trying a month without them, you were having zero luck dating out there "in the wild" so, reluctantly, you downloaded the toxic app again, damn well knowing it would all still be the same old bullshit. If it wasn't some fake bot, it was just the same losers over and over you matched with. You were going to pull your hair out if another dude sent "wyd?" at 11 am on a Wednesday.

You wanna know "what I'm doing?", Chad?! You thought. I'm at work at this time, that's where I am! Why aren't you doing the same?!

You didn't even want to think about how you basically had the same conversation over and over with these guys.

"Hello, beautiful baby gurrl. Good mornin!'"

"Hi, there. Good morning."

"How you sleep last night?"

"Just fine, thanks. HBU?"

"It could have been better. I'd rather be waking up next to you, babyyy."

" ... "

"Send me a pic?"

"No."

"Why not? You shy?"

"..."

" Hello?!"

*incoming unsolicited dick pic*

"You like dat? You like what you see? ;)"

" ... "

"Dat could be alll yours and more! You wanna come over later?"

"I don't think so."

"Why not? It's not like I'm gonna kill you..lol"

"...."

"Sooo...you gonna come over or...I could come over there?!"

"No. I don't even know you! I just met you five minutes ago."

"Don't waste my time! Ya know, a lot of girls like what I got. You're lucky I'm even giving you the time of day!"

"..."

"..."

"K. Go text one of them then."

" ... "

"Man, fuck you, bitch. Your loss! I didn't want your ugly ass anyway. LOL."

You sighed. Why was trying to find your person so physically and mentally taxing? Some of your friends actually had good luck on the dating apps but it was just not working out for you. You thought about all your options: keep trying the apps, try in person again, hell maybe even switch teams?! The best option was the idea of becoming an old, single, crazy cat lady. At this point, it sounded like the most peaceful choice.

You were laying on your back on your bed with one arm slung over your eyes, trying to block out all your frustrations.

Your phone next to you vibrated, signaling you had a notification.

Oh great, You thought. Can't wait to see what this one's got to say.

You picked up your phone, punched in your pass code, and opened the app.

Pleasantly surprised was an understatement! You had matched with the most handsome man you'd ever seen on any app ever.

He was definitely older, much older you were sure of it, but the age gap didn't bother you. He only had a few pictures but you saw he had dark hair, green eyes, perfectly chiseled nose and jawline.

Captain Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, USN.

As good as he looked, you couldn't help but have reservations. Living in San Diego, you had been on a few dates with military men before. They could be just as shady as the civilian Joe Blows, if not even more. Plus, he was way too fine looking to still be single. You tried not to judge. Divorced? Widowed? Perhaps he was looking for a last minute fling before his next naval cruise?

Your phone vibrated again and you saw he sent you a message.

"Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Pete Mitchell. But everyone calls me Maverick or "Mav".

"Nice to meet you! I'm Y/N." You typed back. "Cruise to any where fun lately, sailor?"

"What gave it away? The picture of me in my dress whites?"

"Not a bad picture, I must say." It was true. Technically he was old enough to be your father but he was still a smoke show. Silver fox, indeed.

"Ha, ha! Thanks. Ah, no fun cruises. I was recently called back to North Island for work."

You told him what you did for a living and you found out he was career military. A naval aviator for over thirty years. You kept chatting back and forth for the next two days and exchanged numbers. On Friday night Maverick called you.

"Look, I'll be honest with you, Y/N." Maverick explained. "This dating app thing...it's not really my style. My kids put me up to it. They said I needed to get out more and this is the way people do it nowadays. I just don't know..."

"Kids?" You repeated, slightly surprised he never mentioned it before. "You have kids?"

Maverick chuckled. "I'm sorry, I guess I should rephrase that. They're actually a squadron of Top Gun graduates I train. I call 'em my kids even though they're all about thirty-something years old."

You exhaled a sigh of relief. "Oh, I see."

"Anyway," Maverick went on. "How would you like to go out with me tomorrow night?"

You were pleasantly surprised again. Most guys you encountered on the apps were either one extreme or another. Some wanted to come over right away and others it was like pulling teeth to get them to actually take you on a real date.

"Is that OK with you?" Maverick asked.

"Oh, yeah!" You said. "Yes, that would be great! Dinner and a movie?"

"You read my mind," Maverick confirmed. "I was thinking I take you to the drive-in. They're doing an 80's movie theme night."

"Drive-in?" You repeated. You hadn't been there in ages. Maverick must have misunderstood your tone because he went to explain:

"Yeah, it's where they have a big outdoor projection screen and you pull up in your car..."

You burst out laughing.

"Pete," You started. "Come on. I know I'm younger than you but I do know what a drive-in is!"

Maverick laughed at himself.

"Sorry. Of course you do."

"That sounds like fun, Pete. Let's do it."

***

You knew you were breaking your own rules by allowing Maverick to pick you up but you felt like you could trust this man. Your jaw dropped when you saw the forest green vintage race car pull up in your driveway.

"She's a '56," Maverick explained as he helped you into the car. "She can go from zero to one seventy in about six seconds."

"Wow," You said, resting the bouquet he just gifted you in your lap. Out of curiosity, you ran your fingers along the dashboard. You'd never been in a car like this before.

Maverick started the car and began backing out.

"I usually just ride my motorcycle but this seemed more appropriate for the occasion."

You smiled. "I guess you have the need speed on the ground as well as in the air."

Maverick turned to look at you then as he shifted the car into drive and you weren't exactly sure how to describe it. It was like a mixture of surprise, curiousity, and a touch of sadness.

"Did I say something wrong?" You asked, concerned.

Maverick shook his head.

"No," He assured you. "It's just...so funny and...kind of weird you said that. 'The need for speed'. I haven't heard that in a long time. I had a friend I used to say that to. A long time ago. It was like...oh, what do you call it? Something that you and one other person knows?"

"An inside joke?" You suggested.

Maverick smiled. "Yeah," He agreed. "An inside joke."

"You don't talk to that friend anymore?" You asked.

"Oh, I do." Maverick replied. "I sure do. It's just...he's not here with us...physically anymore."

"Oh..." You realized and you felt a twinge of gulit in your stomach. This wasn't the best way to start off a date.

As if reading your mind, Maverick took one hand off the wheel and softly brushed the side of your cheek with the back of his hand. His hand felt callous, the result of decades of working on all sorts of aircraft, but it also felt strangely comforting. The feeling guilt in your stomach dissolved and felt something like butterflies replace it.

"It's OK, sweetheart," Maverick said and he really meant it.

After dinner, you two drove in the drive-in. A triple feature of John Hughes movies were playing. You and Maverick laughed when Kelly LeBrock turned Bill Paxton into a talking blob in Weird Science and cheered as Judd Nelson pumped his fist in the air at the end of The Breakfast Club. The final movie was Sixteen Candles and you couldn't help but sigh when Molly Ringwald finally got to kiss her dream guy.

"This is one of my favorite movies," You said.

"You like the romantic stuff, huh?" Maverick teased and you laughed.

"Yeah, I know it's cliche," You said. "But I can't help it. I'm such a sucker for it."

"Nothing wrong with that," Maverick told you. "Just between you and me...I'm a romantic myself."

He leaned in and kissed you and you couldn't help but smile against his lips.

When the two of you parted, your eyes fluttered open and you said:

"I know we just met but I feel so lucky to have found you. I was about ready to give up. The apps were driving me crazy."

Maverick rolled his eyes at the mention of the dating apps.

"I don't get them either," He said. "But I saw your picture and...I don't know. I just...thought you were really beautiful and I'm glad I met you, too."

You felt Maverick take your hand in his.

"If it's OK with you, would you see me again?"

You smiled and answered by kissing him again.

"Sure, I'd really love that."

[sparrowofthedawnsworld]

Sore Loser - Jake Kiszka

A/N: My first fic of the smut wars with @ageofbarbarians <3 -Not- sorry for this one, Jake’s lane…

This is only LIGHTLY proof-read!

WARNINGS: This is 18+ Minors DNI!! Drinking, party games, Asshole!Jake, dom!Jake, hate-fucking, name calling, blood (it’s not what you think lol) degradation, hair pulling, choking, slapping, spitting, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex. Hopefully I didn’t miss any!

Masterlist

••••

“Two more, Y/N and you got him!” Sam cheered you on, clearly fighting back the urge to grip the edge of the beer pong table in anticipation.

You had no idea how you got roped into playing a round of beer pong, with the one person you absolutely couldn’t stand. The feeling was mutual, though… Jake couldn’t stand you either. But, you weren’t regretting it as much as you thought you would in the beginning, as you lined yourself up to make your next shot at his last two cups standing.

Meanwhile on your end of the table, most of the cups were still standing.

“Oh…Oh-” Danny whispered, watching the ball leave your fingers. “OH, SHIT!”

“She’s a fucking beast! I told you!” Sam shouted as he and Danny cheered obnoxiously.

“Do you want her to sink this last one, or just accept defeat now??” Sam snorted, laughing even more as Jake’s face grew even more irritated.

“You could still recover…” Josh tried to soothe him, knowing good and well there was not a chance of a comeback.

Jake shot him a death glare over his shoulder. “Shut up.”

Someone handed the ball back to you and you let out a long, nervous breath. The room was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop; all eyes -Jake’s included- staring you down with some antsy and some hopeful expressions. Jake’s face was just downright livid.

You lifted your arm, setting yourself up for what would hopefully your final, winning shot.

Holding your breath, you flicked your wrist just so and the small ball flew from your fingers, directly into Jake’s last cup flawlessly.

The room erupted in loud cheers, Danny, Sam and even Josh coming around to bombard you with praises and tipsy hugs.

Jake’s hands slammed down against the wooden table with a loud bang that startled at least half the room. The force of his actions shook the whole table, causing the remaining cups of liquor on your end to spill everywhere.

“Come on, Jake. Don’t be a sore loser.” You teased, only pushing his buttons further.

God, was it nice to be the one doing the shit talking for once. Finally being the one to make Jake mad, versus the other way around - how it normally was.

Jake snatched his (still mostly full) bottle of whiskey from the table angrily, leaving drops of the sloshing liquid all over the table from the force in which he snatched it. Josh watched him attentively, opening his mouth to speak, but shut it as soon as Jake stormed passed him.

The whole room made awkward attempts at turning their attention elsewhere, in attempts at pretending Jake’s little outburst didn’t happen, save for the four of you.

“I think he might be pissed.” Sam snickered in his intoxicated state. “Like really pissed. God, he’s such a hot head.”

“No shit, Sam.” Danny rolled his eyes. “I’m sure it’s just the alcohol…”

It definitely was not just the alcohol and you all knew it.

“He’ll be fine… Just let him be, I guess.” Josh sighed, eyes fixed on the hallway Jake had just disappeared down.

You could tell Josh was slightly taken aback by Jake’s behavior, which made a twinge of guilt start to form inside you - Even though you disliked him because of how he treated you. However, there was not a chance in hell you were going to ruin your once-in-a-blue-moon victory.

“Should I go apologize?” you questioned, biting back a smirk.

The eyes of all three boys shot to you immediately, widened with shock.

“Are you okay? Or are you that drunk?” Danny questioned, walking towards you with outstretched arms.

You huffed a laugh, swatting his arms away. “No, I’m not drunk, Danny. I’d say that was pretty fucking sobering.”

“I would definitely leave Jake alone right now, if I were you.” Josh suggested lightly.

As his twin, he knows Jake better than anyone in the room. You knew you should listen to Josh, but being the biggest hardhead, you were definitely going to ignore his suggestion.

“I’m just gonna go talk to him.” You told them, earning you looks of disapproval from Danny and Josh.

“You two can barely get along. I seriously don’t think this is the best choice you’re making.” Josh tried again, hoping to talk you out of it. “I’d just leave him be.”

“Oh, relax Josh,” Sam shrugged, slumping over into Danny’s shoulder. “We all know you’re not really going up there to apologize.”

You shot Sam a glare of distaste, only making his smirk grow wider. “Am I wrong?”

“Y/N, seriously. If you’re just trying to go in there and rattle his cage even more… don’t.” Josh pleaded with you.

You simply ignored Josh’s pleas, sitting your cup down on the table amongst the others that were tipped over.

All three boys watched you walk down the hall in silence.

“Yeah, okay! Don’t listen to his twin or anything!” Josh yelled after you as you disappeared out of sight.

You shook your head, smiling to yourself at how desperate he sounded. Rightfully so on Josh’s part, to be fair. You were sailing on some dangerous waters.

Those dangerous waters being an angry Jake.

As you reached his door, you fully expected some of your confidence to dissipate out of nerves, fear, whatever. Instead, you found a new wave overcoming you. In your over-confidence and clouded judgment, you reached for the door handle and swung open the door of Jake’s room.

“What the fuck??” Jake snapped, jumping up from where he had been sitting on the bed. There was a blink of thick silence; the perfect opportunity to for you to back out… But you decided to stay.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?! Barging in here like this is your own god damn room?!”

Jake’s voice was loud enough to echo through the entire house. You were sure that Josh, Danny and probably even Sam were all cringing to themselves in the living room.

“I came to apologize.” You flashed him your best doe eyes and sweet smile.

The booming, humorless, laugh that Jake let out made your body jolt lightly.

“Oh! Now that’s fucking golden,” Jake laughed dryly. “In that case, you’re not forgiven. Get the fuck out.”

He pointed at the door and if looks could kill, you would have been dead within seconds.

“God, all this attitude just because you lost to me, Jakey? That’s a bit pathetic, don’t you think?” You provoked him further, smirking wickedly when his face turned bright red right before your eyes.

As his brain further processed everything you’d just said, his fists clenched at his sides and in the blink of an eye, you were being forcefully slammed into his bedroom door.

The door slammed closed behind you with a loud bang, sending a painting that was above the light switch tumbling down from the wall. The force of in which your back hit the door, sent all the air rushing out of your lungs.

Now, this… this was a bit more than you had bargained for.

As if they had been anxiously waiting for something to happen, you heard

loud, rushed footsteps coming down the hallway.

“Y/N? Jake?! What the fuck?!?” Danny yelled from outside the door, jiggling the handle frantically.

“Fuck off, Danny!” Jake bit angrily, reaching down to firmly hold the door handle in place, causing his body to press harder against yours.

“I’m- We’re fine, Danny..” You croaked out, trying -but failing- to sound reassuring.

Jake had his head turned away from you, staring down at the floor, just waiting for Danny to say something else. You on the other hand, had your eyes screwed shut and hands flat against the door. Your chest rose and fell rapidly, breath catching in your throat every so often.

The two of you stayed just like that for what felt like ages, but was really only seconds. The only sounds being your’s and Jake’s breathing and the low sounds of Jimi Hendrix playing through his record player.

“If they kill each other, they kill each other...” You faintly heard Danny mumble to whoever was with him. Most likely Josh.

You could picture Danny shrugging in utter defeat.

“Jake..” you whispered hesitantly and his eyes shot up to yours immediately.

Jake’s stare was cold and dark. Downright bone-chilling and it made you feel immensely intimidated.

“You-” He growled, letting go of the door handle and pointing his finger at you. “-You have some goddamn nerve, you know that? God, I was hoping you would go straight through this door, but I guess I’m not that lucky.”

Your mouth opened and closed wordlessly, while you fought with your brain to come up with at least a half decent comeback.

“You couldn’t put me through this door, even if you were Danny’s size.” You fired back. Finally.

“Mm. If only Daniel hated you as much as I do… I would gladly ask him to do it.” Jake spoke wishfully, mostly ignoring your blow - comparing his size to Danny’s.

“Too bad he doesn’t.” You smirked triumphantly. “Does it get exhausting, Jakey? Hating my guts for no apparent reason?” You lended a sweetness to your tone, especially on the nickname.

“Stop fucking calling me that.” Jake demanded. “You know what gets exhausting?? Listening to you talk. That annoying, sweet, little voice of yours makes my blood boil.”

“Then shut me up, Jakey.” You challenged him, glancing down at his lips briefly without thinking. “You won’t do shit.”

Jake placed one hand on your hip and wrapped his other around your throat. His whole body pressed you harder into the door with the new leverage; the wood cracking and popping softly behind you. His face was suddenly millimeters from yours, his lips ghosting over the skin just shy of your lips. It was as if he was fighting every urge in his body that was screaming at him to kiss you. To take you to bed and fuck you senseless; the way he always wanted to deep down, but would never dare admit to himself.

“I won’t do shit…?” He spoke against the corner of you mouth.

“Say it again.”

Your own mind raced, trying to figure out why you so badly wanted to seek out his lips.

Your body took over, as if acting without permission from your brain. You chased after the impending kiss as much as your body would allow with his hand around your throat, pinning your head against the door.

“No.” Jake growled, pulling away just out of your reach. “Tell me again I won’t do shit.”

“You won’t do shit.”

Jake flashed you the tiniest smirk, before-

Smack.

His hand retreated from your throat and collided with your cheek. Not enough to genuinely hurt you, but enough to cause the slightest sting to form over your skin. A very pleasurable sting, at that - To your surprise.

Jake searched your face, his filthy smirk widening when all he found was your mouth agape in shock and a deep red blush taking over your cheeks. Mentally you were kicking yourself for liking it… And letting him see that you liked it.

“I’m gonna show you just how much I can’t fucking stand you.” Jake said lowly, like it was a promise.

Without letting you even get a word in, his lips finally connected with yours. You kissed him back without a second thought. It was clear some part deep inside both of had been wanting it, just by how desperate and intense the kiss was.

As the kids intensified, your hands found the hem of his shirt. You gave it a strong tug, signaling that you wanted it gone.

“Already? God you’re such an impatient little whore.” Jake taunted, pulling away to tug his shirt over his head.

“If I’m coming out of my shirt, so are you.”

He pulled away from you, but only leaving you just enough room for you to get your shirt over your head. Once it was off, you were back against the door.

“Jake-“ You hissed, arching away from the cool wood.

“Shut up.”

Jake went for the swell of one of your breasts that was peaking out from your bra. He began biting from there all the way up your neck, to your jaw and finally back to up to your lips, where he captured your lips in another rough kiss.

His lips were -almost literally- intoxicating, tasting of the Whiskey he’d been sipping on for the last couple hours.

Jake broke away just enough to take your bottom lip between his teeth, biting down on it until a whine finally erupted from you.

“We’ll see how long you keep running this little mouth.” Jake added, grabbing your jaw.

“Around you? Good luck getting me to stop.” You glared up at his lust blown eyes.

Jake jerked you away from the door, practically dragging you over to his bed and throwing you down. Everything he did was with so much force and speed, it made your head spin trying to keep up.

“We’ll see about that when I’m finished fucking you into this mattress.” Jake’s hands found each of your wrists, gathering them both into one hand and pinning them above your head. You gave them an experimental tug, just to see how strong he was - As if how hard he slammed you into his door wasn’t enough proof of his strength.

Jake used one of his legs to spread yours apart and his free hand snuck between your legs, taunting you with a barely there touch over your throbbing core.

“All I better here out of that mouth, is you begging for me to let you cum.” Jake told you, continuing to trace over your core teasingly. “No.. That IS all I’m gonna hear,” Jake rephrased matter-of-factly. “I’ll care about your pleasure when hell freezes over.”

“Well, aren’t you just the biggest pleasure dom.” You jested sarcastically, involuntarily pushing your hips into Jake’s hand.

“And you’re a needy whore.” Jake chuckled without an ounce of humor. “You’re already trying to get some pleasure.”

Jake’s hand swiftly collided with your throbbing cunt, smacking it just like he had done with your cheek.

“Oh, fuck-“ you gasped, jerking your hips away from him.

“Too bad I’m not gonna give it to you…” Jake added on, landing one more smack against you.

“Jake, I-”

“Shut up. One more word from you and I’ll take my belt to your ass.” Jake threatened, but you quickly decided that’s exactly what you wanted.

Jake raised his eyebrows questioningly, as you opened your mouth to speak.

“I don’t take commands from a sore loser.” You spoke defiantly, giving one strong yank at your arms.

“You know what-“ Jake mumbled and released your hands, getting off of you.

He stood at the edge of the bed with a dark, heated expression, pointing to the floor.

“Get up, pants off. Now.”

You hesitated for a beat, looking at him with a blank expression.

“Keep fucking trying me, Y/N. PLEASE, keep it up.” Jake barked, daring you to continue pushing your limits.

Making sure to really make your actions look reluctant; you got up and stood in front of him, as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Just the pants?” You questioned in fake disappointment.

Jake narrowed his eyes at you, giving you a look that made your blood run ice cold. You caved and began undoing the button and zipper of your jeans. “Okay, okay...”

“Panties too, baby girl.“ Jake gestured to your lower half, eyes locked on your nearly naked body.

You slid them down your legs slowly, making a little show of it for him, until they were completely gone from your body. You stepped towards Jake, but he stopped you with a single hand, standing up from the edge of the bed.

“You think I was gonna let you sit in my lap? Not a fucking chance.” Jake’s hands began undoing the buckle of his belt, the clanking of the metal sending chills down your spine and straight to your core.

Once he pulled it out from the loops of his jeans, he sat back down on the edge of the bed.

“Come here.” Jake’s hand grabbed at your arm, pulling you to him. “Lay across my lap, so I can mark this ass with my name.”

You did as he said without any hesitation for once. Every part of you was enjoying this and Jake was becoming very much aware of the little game you were playing with him.

“Don’t get it twisted, I still don’t like you… But your safe word is purple. Got it?” Despite the dry tone to his voice, Jake still made sure you were not in a position you couldn’t get out of.

“Got i- Fuck, Jake!”

Jake’s belt snapped against your ass before you could even get the words out. Your hand clasped over your mouth in attempts to muffle the pornographic moan that was threatening to rip its way out of you.

“Uncover your mouth, or I’ll tie your hands up.” Jake threatened, drawing his arm back to release another blow to your ass.

The stinging burn returned again within seconds, making you wince and moan at the same time.

“Ja- Jake,” you stuttered, feeling your resolve crumbling quicker than you could save it.

“Does this feel good?” Jake spat, whipping the belt against your ass again.

“F-fuck! Yes!” you admitted breathlessly, head dropping down as you gripped Jake’s thigh.

“Oh, of course it does.” Jake scoffed, with yet another crack of his belt. “I would expect nothing less from you. Such a little slut.”

“Fuck you,” you breathed out through gritted teeth.

You heard the sound of Jake’s belt hitting the wall and jumped slightly, his hand coming down against the red, blistering area of your ass.

“Jake, please!“ You pleaded, tears forming in the corners of your eyes.

“Please what, bitch? Go on, beg for what you want.” He taunted, as if he was really going to grant you whatever you beg for.

“Tell me why I should fuck you.” He demanded, taunting your entrance with two of his fingers.

“No,” you refused stubbornly.

Jake grabbed you up in his arms, stood up and tossed you down on the bed with a loud crack ringing out from beneath the mattress.

“Fuck it,” Jake hissed, climbing over you.

It was then you had realized the slight dip in the middle as he got on top of you.

“Did you just brea-“

“Yes and I said fuck it.” Jake cut you off, leaning down and taking one of your nipples into his mouth. He bit down on it harshly, eliciting a choked moan from you.

You arched up into his mouth, tangling your hands in his hair and tugging roughly. Jake groaned, biting even harder down on your other nipple.

Jake released it, trailing sloppy kisses down your stomach.

He bit into your hip, sucking a hickey into the skin there, before finally moving the rest of the way down to your aching core.

“You don’t wanna beg me?” Jake questioned, looking up at you with dark eyes. “Well, you will once my mouth is wrapped around your clit and I’m telling you not to cum.”

“I-I doubt that. No way in hell you can make me beg.” You held Jake’s eyes as he placed a kiss just above your clit, knowing good and well that once Jake’s mouth was on you, it was gonna be hard to keep up this little act of yours.

“Okay. Your words, sweetheart.” Jake chuckled lowly. “Your words.”

Splaying a hand over each of your thighs, Jake shoved your legs further apart. His mouth hovered over you, smirking to himself as he watched your cunt clench around nothing.

You stared up at the ceiling, breath catching on every other intake. The anticipation and uneven breathing was already making you dizzy.

Jake licked teasingly from your entrance up to your clit, just barely flicking it a few times with his tongue. He was holding back on purpose, wanting to prolong your torture even more.

You breathed in and out heavily, already fighting back the urge to let his name tumble off your lips.

Jake’s lips wrapped around your bundle of nerves, sucking on it with more force than what his previous actions had been. Your hips bucked up into his mouth involuntarily and you immediately looked down to see Jake’s reaction. He was smiling cockily against you, his arm snaking over your hips to keep you in place.

“So desperate already.” Jake taunted, his free hand coming down to tease at your entrance. He watched your face for any sort of reaction as he sunk two fingers into you. Meeting his intense stare, you gulped down the moan that was bubbling up to the back of your throat.

“You’re so fucking stubborn.” Jake said through gritted teeth.

Curling his fingers inside you, he searched for your sweet spot. His mouth found your clit again, eating you out with a mind blowing level of determination.

After no more than a minute of Jake’s mouth eating you out like you were his first meal in days, you were finding it extremely difficult to keep yourself quiet. Jake’s fingers worked at your sweet spot steadily, every so often sinking them in even deeper to beckon you closer to the edge, prodding into a spot you didn’t even know was there. He kept you just shy of your orgasm for what felt like forever, not letting you get quite there; keeping you just close enough to let that dull burn in the pit of your stomach drive you crazy.

“Jake,” you whimpered, chest heaving rapidly.

He payed you absolutely no mind - Ignoring you entirely, continuing to unravel you with his fingers and mouth.

“Make me cum, Jake.” You tried to demand, but he ignored you once again. The frustration building inside you was easily enough to make you cry. “J-Jake.” You tried to repeat firmly.

“No.” Jake pulled away from you, replacing his mouth with his thumb.

You rolled your hips, trying to press his thumb harder into your clit.

“You want it, slut? What did I say you had to do?”

You let out an annoyed groan. “I said I’m not begging you, Kiszka.”

“Then I guess you’re not gonna get off tonight.” Jake smirked, digging his fingers deeper into you. “Not like I care anyways.”

Deciding to play dirty, Jake sped up his fingers inside you and his thumb over clit, quickly bringing you right up to the edge.

“Jake- Jake, Jake!” you repeated, your skin tingling, orgasm mere seconds away from taking over you.

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Jake stopped his assault on your clit, but didn’t remove his fingers from you. Instead pressing into your sweet spot mercilessly, letting you throb around his fingers.

“I.. fucking hate you...” you squirmed, desperately trying to move his fingers off that spot inside you.

“You don’t mean that,” He teased sarcastically, shooting you a fake smile.

His thumb returned to your clit once again and your whole body jolted under his touch.

“Aren’t you just the cutest?” Jake cooed in a faux caring voice. “Trying to act like I have absolutely no effect on you… Like you ACTUALLY hate me.”

“I do actually h-hate you,” You scoffed, squeezing your eyes shut. “And you hate me.”

Jake huffed a laugh through his nose, eyes racking over your body as it twitched and grew warmer and warmer beneath him. Whether he would still “hate” you after this was to be determined in his mind.

Tangling your hands in the comforter of Jake’s bed, you let out a quiet whine as he hurled you back towards another orgasm.

“Aww, is my stubborn little slut getting close?” Jake slowed his fingers and more of your stubborn act crumbled away as he let another orgasm fall away.

“Jake, please…” You muttered quietly.

Jake raised a brow at you, leaning over your body with his face inches from yours.

“Mm, I didn’t catch that, baby girl.”

“You heard me.” You sassed, meeting his eyes boldly.

“Maybe I did,” Jake whispered against your cheek. His hand abandoned your hip and wrapped around you throat. “But I want you to say it again.”

“You… you’ve gotta do better than that, Jake.”

Jake pulled his fingers out of you and before you could even protest, they were being shoved into your mouth without any warning.

“Keep running this little mouth.” Jake growled, his hand that was holding down your hip, now wrapping securely around your throat. “Please, keep it up. I’ll take you back downstairs to that party, bend you down over that beer pong table and fuck you dumb in front of everyone.”

Your mouth opened and closed wordlessly. You watched Jake lean back, popping the button of his jeans and shoving them down his legs. He tossed them off somewhere on his bedroom floor, along with his boxers and leaned over to his nightstand, picking up his bottle of whiskey. You couldn’t help but to stare at his size, noting how painfully hard he looked. For some reason, it just struck you by surprise that he was maybe enjoying this just as much as you were.

“Maybe one day everyone can watch me hate-fuck you completely stupid-” Jake started, moving back over top of you, with his bottle in hand. “-But for now, they just get to listen.”

Bringing the bottle to his lips, he tipped his head back along with it. He pulled the bottle away just as quickly as he had brought it up to his lips, his mouth still full of the dark liquor.

Jake’s other hand went up to your face and his thumb played with your bottom lip. When you didn’t quite catch his drift, his whole hand collided with your cheek.

Your mouth fell open immediately, releasing an uncontrollable moan and Jake took that as his chance. He lined his mouth up above yours, sending a stream of liquor directly into your mouth.

Jake watched your mouth close slowly, a small droplet of liquor dripping down the side of your mouth. “Swallow it.”

The Whiskey burned delightfully as it traveled down your throat, warning you up from the inside out - as if you weren’t already hot enough.

You opened your mouth up for Jake, showing him that you had swallowed it all.

“Nice to know you can actually fucking listen..” He mumbled, taking a drink from the bottle himself, before leaning over to the nightstand and sitting it back down.

Jake took himself in his hand, sucking in a breath through his teeth as he tended to his throbbing cock.

You watched him with hooded eyes, mouth watering at the pre cum leaking from him.

Hooking a leg over his hip, Jake lined himself up at your entrance. He just barely pushed himself in, pulling back out completely and running himself through your folds. He repeated the action a few times, eyes locked on where his cock was teasing you.

“I hope you can fuck better than you play beer pong, Jakey.” You quipped boldly without really thinking, watching his face harden.

With a sharp thrust, Jake filled you up completely. You moaned loudly at the unexpected stretch of him filling you up, gripping at his forearms on either side of your head.

“Why are you moaning already??” Jake taunted questioningly, drawing back and slamming his hips back into yours. “That’s an awfully bold thing to say, for someone who’s already moaning for me.”

“Jesus christ, Jake!” You choked out,

eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“Yeah? What is it, baby girl? Hmm?” Jake cooed as if he really cared, punctuating his words with another deep thrust. “Does it feel good when I go this deep?”

“J-Jake- Fucking, please!” You begged, feeling him brush against places inside you that no one had ever reached before.

“Please, what??” Jake pried in a low tone, tangling his hand in your hair and tugging it roughly. “Look at you… My stubborn little whore is falling apart, isn’t she?”

His repeated use of “My” made your head spin.

Jake’s lips connected with your neck and he settled into a faster pace, fucking into you mercilessly.

“I think you might need a little more of an incentive than this, don’t you?”

Jake bit at your earlobe, pulling back to look you in the eyes.

“I don’t- I don’t need.. anything from you.” You moaned out, trying to hold onto what little bit of hate and defiance you had left.

“That’s not the answer I was looking for, but-“

Jake’s hands found the backs of your knees and pushed them back until they were almost touching your chest. He went right back into his previous pace and an embarrassingly loud moan flew from your mouth.

“Yeah, there we go…” Jake smirked proudly.

Hooking his arms around your legs, he reached up to the headboard, giving himself even better leverage.

“Slow d-down, I-Can’t! I can’t, Jake!” Your hands found the backs of his shoulders, digging your nails in and dragging them across his skin.

An animalistic groan erupted from him and you could see the muscles throughout his arms tense, as he gripped the metal bed frame until his knuckles were white.

Feeling something wet on the tips of yours fingers, you brought on of your hands to his chest to see what it was, noticing the faint trails of red your fingertips left behind.

“Damn it, Y/N-“ Jake hissed, letting out another loud groan.

The two of you could without a doubt be heard by his brothers and all your friends downstairs. Especially you.

You could feel the familiar burn return to the pit of your stomach and in light of not wanting to have your orgasm ripped away for the fourth time, you decided not to tell Jake.

“Is that how good I make you feel? Enough for you to make me fucking bleed??” Jake asked you, fighting back his knowing smirk when you started to clench tighter around him. “You’re getting close, aren’t you?”

“N-no,” you lied, whining when Jake’s pace slowed down.

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Y/N.” Jake warned. “You CAN’T lie to me.”

Jake slowed almost to a complete stop, only giving you a halfhearted thrust ever few seconds. He let your legs down, resting his on one of his forearms above you. Sneaking his other arm between your bodies, he traced you stomach teasingly.

“I bet you’re just aching right here, aren’t you?” Jake’s tone was dripping in faux sympathy. He watched you breathe in and out heavily, tiny whimpers leaving your lips on every release.

“Please, Jake… it hurts..” It wasn’t a lie. As pleasurable of an ache as it may have been at first, it was starting to drive you up the wall.

“You know what you have to do, then.” Jake reminded you. “”Please, Jake” Isn’t good enough.”

Jake’s thumb swept over your clit and you reached for his wrist to tear his hand away. “I can do this all night, baby girl.” He whispered as he started to slowly fuck in and out of you again and you cried out.

“I know, I know… It just feels so good and you wanna cum.” Jake goaded, working his way back up to his previous pace, with the added stimulation of his thumb.

“So pathetic and greedy. Beg for it, slut.”

“Let me cum, Jake, please! Fucking tell me I can,” you pleaded, fucked out and whiny.

Jake’s thumb pressed into your clit harder and you caved, dangerously close to coming undone around him.

“Okay, okay! Jake, please please please!” You cried, squeezing your eyes shut as you gasped to fill your lungs with air.

“Let me cum, please, I need it so bad! I give in- Please, Jake!”

Jake moaned, satisfied enough by your begging. He pulled out of you and laid down next to you. Before you could even protest, he pulled you on top of him and lined you up with his cock. You sunk down on him with a pathetic cry of bliss and over-sensitivity.

“You wanna cum so bad? Get yourself off, then, slut.” Jake commanded, guiding your hips. “Make a mess like the little whore you are, c’mon.”

You leaned forward and gripped Jake’s shoulders, making him suck on a breath through his teeth at the twinge of pain your nails caused.

“I’m not getting you off, so you better do it yourself if you wanna cum.” Jake rasped into your ear and he reached up, taking one of your wrists in his hand. He placed your hand where your bodies’ were joined, holding it there with a firm grip.

You rubbed quick circles into your clit, not giving a single fuck about Jake’s refusal to get you off himself - Even though he was the whole reason you were so close in the first place. It got him off just to watch you fall apart above him, forcing you to do it yourself just to be an ass, yet still knowing he was a main source of pleasure.

“Please, Jake can I cum?? Please, I can’t… I can’t-“

“Cum for me, baby girl. Be a filthy little whore and make a mess all over me.” Jake’s hand reached up to your hair, tugging it until you were staring at the ceiling.

As though your body was just waiting for those words from him, you spiraled into your orgasm within seconds.

Your back arched and if it weren’t for Jake’s other hand abandoning your wrist and supporting your back, you would have fallen backwards. Your vision blurred around the edges and you could only faintly hear yourself screaming Jake’s name.

Jake, mere seconds away from his own high, lifted you off of himself and moved you to sit on his thigh. He jerked himself off until he came all over his stomach, a raspy groan of your name falling gracefully off of his lips. It was the first time you had heard your name ever sound like that coming from him. Certainly a sound to be cherished.

Your hands held onto his hips as you shakily tried to keep yourself upright.

Jake’s head laid back against his pillows and his eyes were closed, focused on calming himself down.

“Jake…” You whispered his name hesitantly.

One of his eyes popped open and closed a second later. “Hmm?”

“Where are my clothes?”

It was a dumb question… You knew they were scattered around his room. You asked for the sole purpose of trying to find an out, assuming he was going to kick you out at any moment anyway.

“Why?” Jake asked, opening his eyes to look at you.

“Well i- i figured you…” You trailed off, unsure of what exactly to even say. “..You would want me to like… lea-“

“And who said I was done with you?” Jake smirked, giving you a mischievous look.

“You’re not going anywhere yet.”

@jordierama @shutupdevvie @ageofbarbarians @positivegvfthings @greta-van-chaos @theweightofjake @jake-kiszkas-smirk @earthlysorrows @writingcold @lo-pe-ak

[boosaot]

Guess who finally kicked their ass into gear and it watching "Army of the Doomstar"

(vv Spoilers cuz I'm legit yapping about the whole movie vv)

LONG post warning

Dude Toki is looking ROUGH

How about we un-shift gears and mind our damn business

NAW Toki's lil sad noise after Skwis refused his hug :(

Nathan's goin thru it jeez- IN THE MEDICAL WARD CUZ OF PTSD DAMN

Intro got me groovin'

Am I crazy or did the quality of animation get a lot better?

Murderface,,, Time and Place dude,,

THEYRE LIKE CHILDREN IM HOLLERING WHY IS TOKI LICKING THE FUCKING PEW IM ACTUALLY TEARING UP HOLY SHIT

!!Get off of me don't touch Skwigsaar!!

Pickles exhausted mom core

What an entrance Nathan "Uhh-Hi. Sorry. I'm on Xanax"

SORRY WHAT- Xan, Red Wine AND COFFEE brother is OUT OF IT

"fuck off."

Charles,, brother,, this man is not hearing a WORD you just said

IM OGING TO THROW UP FROM LAUGHING TOO MUCH

Marriage wont fix your trauma bestie- NATHAN PLEASE STAND UP

TAKE A LAP AROUFN THE BLOCK THINK ABOUT IT I- EHERHAHA

Nathan is just embarrassing the both of them in front of EVERYONE

IM- "There's no way this day could get any worse" "Please Welcome Dr. Rockzo, The Rock n' Roll Clown"

Someone kill this fuck-ass clown PLEASE his ass is OUT OF TUNE

Someone grab another pair of noise canceling headphones STAT

BRO YOU ARENT EVEN USING THEM PASS 'EM OVER

This has got to be a wild sight for Nathan bro is out of it

Fire cum is a new one,,, thank you for that Murderface

that was a bit excessive,, (actually startled me ngl)

hehaahEHAHA KNUBBLER YOU FUCKING LOSER (affectionate) looks so goofy fallin down the stairs

lol Toki quickly taking his feet out at MF pissing in their water supply (either cuz MF is literally pissing in the water or he himself didn't know he was putting his feet in their water supply,, either way, cute)

"Fuckers will be dying and shit" so real babe

Their hair wavin' in the wind so pretty

Sister Sunshine Rainbow Marshmallow Toki realness

:( this just make me sad bruh poor Murderface :(

THE WAY THEY JUST LET PICKLES FALL ON THE GROUND

Knubbler's losing it,, man,, that was good food too

Awe Toki's lil cheering while Nathan's climb

OKAY Animation I see you (Drugs ftw I guess)

SHOWTIME BAEBEYY

The ANIMATION WRAAA I am eating it (it looks so good)

Well as good of a song as this is,,, I HIGHLY doubt its the right one,, judging from all the death,, and non-salvation happening

GET UR ASS UP BITCH HEY YOUY BLOND FUCK GET TF UP HEY

nah im sure hes fine but still WAKE UP BESTIE (konked tf out)

BRO- Murderface the poor dude wtf man,,

damn R.I.P Knubbler u were a real one

IS HE PLAYING THE GUITAR PASSED OUT I-

bro is looking scrumptious

wet cat skwisgaar pt.2

he looks so baby right here whatthefuck

There was no way to convey this scene through text that would do it justice so here (The lil "uh-ow what the fuck ow" HAD ME CACKLING)

*claps*

Nathan you queer (<3)

even just the intro to the song is so fucking good dude )the lil "bwow-u-woung" noise from the guitar mnyamnyamnyam saur good)

Pickles is going insane on the drums

Salacia how about you go suck a bag of dicks

I wheezed (me too buddy)

They're on some gay shit rn (good for them)

Thousand yard stare

awe Toki

SKWISGAAR YOU CUNT IM HEHEHAHEHEEHAH

AYY fat kid survived the cats good for him

Hip jut out ok sass

LETS GOOOOO

WHALE GOD MVP

fellas... (Skwisgaar so princess loser here)

Nathen realizing the fans are the Army of the Doomstar is so fuckign funny (his lil "Holy Shit"s r so funny)

awe proud dad smile

-

That was such a good movie,,, holy fuckin shit,,

"chirp"

[womendeservehumanity]

So I’ve encountered incel tiktok and it’s reminded me that sympathy for men is futile

So this video shows up on my fyp and it reminds me that I do truly hate men only a fraction as much as they hate women because I actually felt bad for this guy. To sum the video up since tumblr only lets you upload one video, he responds to this comment by saying he was given a horrible set of cards. He’s ugly, short, low iq. And that he’s bound to be working wagie jobs for the rest of his life. I’m thinking that he’s just one of the many members of the working class tired of an existence that seems pointless. But then I look through the comments on this video and he keeps completely dismissing any comments calling him good looking or saying that it gets better as cope. And that’s when I start thinking yeah this guy def is some blackpill woman hating loser

So I see he responded to a comment and this was the video. What a confirmation! This is rhetoric I see blackpillers/incels spew a lot recently because they literally just regurgitate the same shit in their echo chamber. There’s a meme that went viral that was like “women being able to detect autism in a guy vs women being able to detect a man that will abuse her”. It’s actually insane how much contempt males have for abused women because they only see them as potential matches that chose an abuser over them. They see it as some brutal confirmation that nice guys finish last because women would pick an abusive man over them. As if abusive males are coming up to women like “hey bitch I’m gonna beat the shit out of you come suck my dick” and women are like “ok 😍” when in reality they are very covert first opting to charm and love bomb a woman and once the security of a committed relationship is formed, that’s when the abuse happens.

Also these tards obviously don’t understand the psyche of abusers. They don’t enter relationships with the intention of beating women. That’s not their thought process when meeting a woman so acting like there’s a certain type to sniff out is disingenuous. I will say though. A lot of women do ignore red flags in a man because there ARE certain traits that abusers have. But a lot of that is due to women, from childhood, being conditioned to see the good in men despite major flaws and to give them chance after chance. It’s not because the guy is a tall Chad. Which is what they’re saying in the comments and it’s making my blood boil because the idea that the average abuser is this uber attractive, chiseled god is objectively untrue. Just watch the fucking news. But here are some of the replies to this video that genuinely made my stomach turn. Idk why I’m even shocked atp. I know how much men hate women but Jesus

And if you don’t know what total Stacy death means. Stacy = female version of Chad but incels tend to use it interchangeably with all women. And total Stacy death calls for the extermination of all Stacies (most likely women in general). This was originally inspired by white supremacists saying tnd which calls for the extermination of all black people

There were many more come comments but it was too exhausting to screenshot. I thought this guy was trolling because he’s actually not bad looking and literally looks like the average Mexican guy in Cali (who is also short lol) and they have no trouble dating. But I think he’s very off putting and has some type of social disorder. What I found so crazy is that all of the sane people telling this dude to stop being so self depreciating and fucking weird and then maybe he’d find a girl were getting dogpiled onto by his incel simps. That they’re lying and coping for saying he’s good looking. And you know what I’m glad he feels this way. I’m glad he’s given up on pursing women and as cruel as this sounds, I hope he stays true to his plan of k’ing himself in the future. One less danger to women.

But seriously “the blackpill” is some of the most birdbrained shit. It’s like “women want to date people they find attractive” and that’s supposed to be some type of mind blowing matrix-like truth. No fucking shit. Literally almost every human regardless of gender and sexuality operate with that idea. Did you go up to the women you went up to because you thought she had an oh so great personality? No you went up to her because she was attractive. Women are the ones that have to do the actual rejecting the most since they’re approached more often than not. But men literally select women they find attractive and disclude women they don’t. They just don’t have to be blatant about like women do. As someone who goes OUTSIDE and goes to college, most couples are average looking people dating average looking people because most people are average. It’s not a bunch of women with Chad while all the other men are left with no one. Hell if anything I’ve seen many above average women with average and straight up ugly males.

Anyways. It breaks my heart seeing the original video and all the women defending and supporting him. He’ll completely ignore that and focus on anecdotes that feed into his self depreciation and hatred of women. Women please stop extending kindness to males. The sympathy you feel for them is foreign when it comes to you. They’re literally in the comments calling women trying to reason with him that looks aren’t everything gaslighters and liars. There is nothing you can say to these males that will stop them from hating you. There is nothing you can say to them that will change their deluded minds. Instead of trying to “fix” them while they revel in the abuse and death of women, let them wallow away in self pity and pray they contribute to that rate 🙏

And radblr. Pls pls report this sick fuck’s account. I already blocked him but his username shows up in the video.

[that-angry-noldo]

war of wrath tumblr dashboard simulator lets go

🦚nosheepherd Follow

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE WEST HAS SENT THEIR AID

🐈meowcat Follow

screaming op we've literally been involved in a full scale war for 10 years already?? do you live under a rock or 😭

🦚nosheepherd Follow

bestie if you think i have left my hiding in the last 20 years for longer than 15 minutes you vastly overestimate my courage 😭 #at least they have food?? #also yes im alive lol sorry for not posting for. checks notes. last 30 years? #i LITERALLY live under a rock #hello beloved mutuals i missed you

(239 notes)

🥔thatonesinda Mutuals

does anyone have any cooking tips for when you have literally zero food in the house lol? we've been managing well but our home was raided a few days ago (we're all well thankfully) and well. everything edible is gone #kinda panicking over here 😬😬 #we'll probably last for a while but im afraid we'll have to leave soon #ive heard some of our armies are going nearby i think the best decision will be to stick to them #sigh. all of this would be so much easier if parents were around #lara talks #mutuals does anyone have a couch me and my siblings can crash at lol

(5 notes)

🏹herothevaliant Mutuals

she jumped on my sword til i

🏹herothevaliant

fuck

🏹herothevaliant

guys this is so embarassing my commander was literally staying behind me while i was typing. i was on duty im so fucked

🏹herothevaliant

STOP REBLOGGING THIS MY CAPTAIN IS ON THIS WEBSITE IF THEY SEE THIS I SWEAR TO ERU

🌌forestbranch Follow

hey 🙂

🏹herothevaliant

FUCK #WHY THE FUCK ARE ELVES SO QUIET #AAAAAH #please don't fire me

(11.2k notes)

For you!

🏺coolshitifound

🖼️ [image]

[Image ID: Lord Eönwë during the battle. He is pictured mid-swing, surrounded by numerous foes, all with varying levels of terror upon their faces. Lord Eönwë is covered in blood with a scowl on his face. He is swinging his greatsword at the nearest enemy, who wears a terrified expression. End Image ID]

🧉starspraylatte Follow

i think i hauve black death #🥵🥵🥵 #not very religious but y'know what #i would get on my knees for him

(58 notes)

🌠wanderingstranger Following

. #fucking hell #i'm so fucking sick #attended a mutual's funeral today #and a close irl friend is gone without trace #and i'm not sure whether it's a comfort that i didn't feel her die #fuck #this is so unfair #im so fucking sick of this war #and each day it's harder to believe this will ever be over #im not sure for how much longer i can go on #i have a bow #maybe i should join someone on the battlefield #at least death will find me not by my own hand #vent #to delete

(4 notes)

Because you follow #lord eönwë

🌺wistfuldaydreamer Follow

With You, Forever

Pairings: Lord Eönwë x Reader

Warnings: RPF, discussion of death, sadness, heartbreak

Summary: After narrowly evading death on the battlefield, you face your lover.

A/N: sorry for not updating! my family was on a run from goblin raiders, didn't have much time for writing lmao 🥲 i hope you enjoy!

Keep Reading

#lord eönwë #lord eönwë x reader #host of the west x reader #rpf #lord eönwë fanfiction #lord eönwë imagine

(138 notes)

🦀crabinthetree Mutuals

can't believe y'all are thirsting over those amanyar losers while our lord and saviour king ereinion gil-galad and our god and father lord círdan the shipwright are LITERALLY RIGHT THERE #fucking disappointed in y'all #1k #5k #10k #keep reblogging this don't be cowards

(12.4k notes)

⚫rosemary-in-the-wild-deactivated-0134563

no but why are king finarfin and manwë's herald kinda 😳😳😳 like am i the only one sensing some er strong male friendship going on orrrrrrr

🪵treecutter Follow

NO WAY THEY GOT DEACTIVATED TWO HOURS AFTER MAKING THIS POST

🌿olive-in-the-wild Following

they hated me because i was telling the truth 😔

🍆guyhaver Follow

people having "orcs dni" in their bio is so insensitive. like not only there are orcs who activelly suffer under lord melkor's rule but there are also those who fight on the side of the free people like wtf.

🍠friedtentacles Follow

i agree op but also why is it always orcs lol. like no one is putting werewolves ghouls vampires and other creatures of night on their lists lmao

🪭birdinbirch Follow

updating my dni list brb 🙂

🍆guyhaver Follow

@Staff why the FUCK is behavior like this allowed on this site. i swear to almighty #blocked and reported #istg one day i will quit this website #mutuals hold my hands we'll get through it together

(34 notes)