Day 2000
IT’S HERE
Happy 2000th day :)
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The diffriders are so fucking fascinating to me specifically flare trooper dumjid bc like. You take a dragon mercenary who has seen war and has actively watched many comrades die. His whole thing is that he’s a perfect guard and thus the only one who survived, leading to a fucked up conception of himself as above death. And then you have him possess the body of some kid who presumably agrees to let him see earth bc That’s His Favorite Card And He Thinks He’s Cool and who’s probably like 12 (sorry saori I have no clue how old you are I’m just guessing based off taiyou + hiroki) and just. Walk around on earth (where are saori’s parents btw. Like you could say this about most vanguard characters but where are saori’s parents/guardians/friends do they know what “saori” is up to?? Does anyone who knew him pre-diffride realize how different he’s been acting?). Play a card game where he commands his dead comrades bc shiranui is paying him (which. How is he paying him, earth currency or cray currency? And what IS cray currency for that matter?). The only thing he likes about earth is the music but he is specifically cursed to keep having his headphones break. When a unit who’s diffriding a human dies in the human’s body, both the unit and the human die on both planets, and besides the money dumjid is only on shiranui’s team bc antero/miguel DIED, a fact which he’s fully aware of and iirc derides him for (may be wrong abt that one though). He constantly tells people to die when he’s cardfighting them. He is laid-back about vanguard and doesn’t care much until he loses a cardfight and because loss and death are inextricably linked in his mind he proceeds to get Super Fucked Up About It bc he’s built his entire self image off being The One Who Survives and losing the cardfight is akin to confirming that it’s possible for him to die & he especially can’t accept that Some Random Humans have the ability to take him out. Sometimes he shows his opponents the battlefield and the bodies of his comrades and they really don’t seem to devote much thought to it (like. What??? I get that chrono & friends love vanguard and chrono does address it a little bit but mostly iirc just to say “I don’t think that’s what vanguard actually does/that’s not OUR vanguard”). He’s affected worse and worse with each loss and joins a group trying to end the world to get revenge on the humans who’ve beaten him (iirc unclear whether he knows the success of the destruction of the earth will destroy him too). He becomes the last of the original diffriders - chaos breaker dragon doesn’t count he was diffridden during U20 - to remain on earth, a point which he makes sure to bring up as proof of his superior survival abilities. The kid whose body he’s possessing expresses that he’s not happy about the way dumjid’s acting and dumjid doesn’t give a shit and continues to puppet his body around. Just, everything about him as a character is so fascinating in a concerning way and, like shiranui, he brings up the fact that vanguard is Real in a way that the earth characters don’t really consider - yes they have strong imaginations and genuine attachment to their units, but ultimately they’re playing a card game where even if cards get sent to the drop/damage zones they can come back for the next battle* whereas on cray they’re fighting Actual Battles and the units that die die For Real And Permanently. Unlike shiranui, who eventually began to see vanguard as a method of reunion with his dead friends and decided that what he’d been told about earth vanguard being a direct cause for his friends’ deaths might be wrong, Dumjid never changes his view on earth vanguard after “experiencing death”, so when he finally loses and goes back to cray he’s essentially dragged back clawing and screaming. I don’t know, there’s just something about him that’s sooooo soooo fascinating to me
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Briarlights death makes sense to me. As much as I love her character, the movement technology you’ve come up with wouldn’t be enough to keep her alive in a society where her nether regions are constantly exposed to the outdoors. She would get UTIs and kidney infections very quickly, which would be fatal when you can’t feel pain. My partner has to use catheters to avoid them (he is paralyzed in the same spot Briarlight would be.)
I think it’s disingenuous to have a character that’s paralyzed but have no other health problems or concerns regarding it, even if it’s uncomfortable to think about for some readers. It’s just as ableist to minimize the additional struggles she’d face as it is to kill her off unnecessarily.
Not accusing you of ableism, but expressing my concern. They’d need to find a way for her to poop and pee in a way that’s sanitary and a way to combat infections long term - even if the thought is “gross” to some people it’s the reality she’d have to live with. She should, at the very least, remain immunocompromised.
That is a valid concern. I will keep this in mind-- I'll make sure to note her immediately being cleared out of camp at the first sign of sniffles to avoid it. My cats can do some very minor building and there are now several cats on Jayfeather's Garden Patrol, it wouldn't be too much of a problem to make that area into a comfortable "satellite camp".
I do want to add though that my most important guiding principle is a stronger narrative which includes better portrayals of disabled characters, not perfect rugged woodsman realism. The medicine I add and the guides I write are in the hopes of better representing the lives of the real-life people who see themselves in the fantasy battle cats.
Realism does factor into that of course! But it goes out the door the minute it would smash up against a disabled character's inclusion. This is a series for human beings like your partner; as close to it as I can get by bending the setting when needed.
For example, Epilepsy
Epilepsy was deadly before modern medicine. Full stop. The herbs I created for that guide would not save someone like Shadowsight, whose convulsions are at extreme risk of turning into Status Epilepticus. It would help manage, but Shadowsight's life would have been very brief.
All the chamomile in the world wouldn't replace phenobarbital... or even the older medications, barbituates. Barbituates have been replaced and good riddance, but it's important to understand that even this drug known for causing EXTREME lethargy and horrible side effects was revolutionary. It saved countless lives.
But I'm not here to write a story for the real-life horror that is epilepsy in a pre-modern society. I'm here for the parent who personally thanked me for making their daughter feel less alone.
Evil spirits attacking the living! God knocking over trees! Attacking a bulldozer! That all happens; there's no reason they can't help Briarlight too!!
But I'll make sure to include her being immunocompromised. And I'll include ways they handle that. Just like I included a cat engineer who made a blanket sled.
So... suggestion accepted! I will keep this in mind.
Briarlight's Canon Death
...I will maintain though that the canonical death of Briarlight was one of the worst, most short-sighted, cruelest decisions that has ever been made in this series.
Because ultimately Briarlight is not a real person. She is a writing choice. She is a character based on Vicky's paralyzed cousin, "Dan," and Briarlight was directly modeled on Dan's personality and recovery.
What did the new writing team do, the minute they were writing a series without Vicky? Killed Briarlight to fucking greencough. For shock points. Narrative moves right on back to the MAIN conflict-- Alderheart having feelings for Velvet and Jayfeather enforcing the vow of chastity. ShadowClan officially falls apart in the background lol
It was never about realism, or realistic portrayal of disability.
This series doesn't care about realism when cats have bloody Freddy Kruger deaths in their sleep, or when shadow goo starts eating cat hell, or when lightning strikes Shadowsight. But they suddenly care about how realistic it is that the only paralyzed character survives greencough?? No! Of course not!
In the middle of the CONSTANT "Ohh she's finally in heaven where she can run and jump and not have a disabled life"? And the infamous Squirrelflight's Hope line, "You don't want to be alive again, Squirrelflight! You might become disabled like BRIARLIGHT"
(WHICH BTW THEY STILL HAVE NOT REMOVED DESPITE PROMISING IT YEARS AGO)
I absolutely do not believe for a second that they had a realistic portrayal of an immunocompromised cat in mind when they did it! Hell, screw it. I'll just say it outright;
I firmly believe that the new writing team killed Briarlight because they did not want to deal with her.
I flatly refuse to give them charity towards this choice. At NO POINT did they earn a speck of good faith. They continued every negative trend that was set up by the previous writers (including Vicky herself tbf), and went a step further by killing her to "we need to get rid of some randos" disease.
Not only that; but the Clan dynamics were NEVER the same after her death, because there was no character who could replace her personality. In this cast of cardboard cats, they plucked out one of the few optimists with a clear, unique perspective, not shared by ANYONE else.
My ire wouldn't JUST be because they happened to kill a disabled character in the way they did (though that is frustrating on its own imo). It's because it was Briarlight.
I hope every writer involved with the decision to kill Briarlight in the "Nothing is Happening! Quick! Kill Someone!" book of AVoS chokes on it. I will DIE on this hill and my blood will never wash out of the grass.
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"Right, my friend," he said, "quite right! Better he not know as yet; perhaps he shall never know. I pray so; but if it be needed, then he shall know all."
I never really noticed this line last year, but. Well, there you have it honestly. I think, in amidst all the logical reasons van Helsing doesn't tell Jack about vampires... this is his primary thought process. There's more to this dialogue of course, which deals with those with greater knowledge/expertise/an outside view not explaining their reasoning, and obviously the whole corn speech... and those are an influence too. But I think his main reason is right here in these first lines. More emotional than logical, though containing elements of both.
Sure, his explanation is far-fetched. Maybe he even worries a little about Jack or Arthur or Mrs. Westenra refusing to let him see Lucy if they knew what he's thinking. I've never really put stock in van Helsing being afraid Jack would try to have him locked up for multiple reasons (ranging from their relationship to that not really being Jack's job). But there could still potentially be consequences with them doubting him and not following his directions.
He wants Jack to come to the conclusion on his own, so it'll be an easier sell. He wants to confirm his own thoughts first, and then once those are confirmed... well. As long as the job gets done (Lucy is protected) why does he need to burden them with the knowledge? It's as true for Jack and even Lucy herself knowing about vampires, as it is true for Arthur knowing about Lucy getting worse today. Van Helsing tells himself that when the situation is truly dire, when it's truly necessary, then he will tell them. But until then... they can't really do anything more than they already are, and he doesn't want them to have to face more pain.
And once he starts thinking that way, it becomes easy to tell himself "it's not necessary yet." He acts like he will tell him soon enough today, but as time passes he keeps backing off. So long as Jack is willing to follow his instructions about the flowers, or about watching her at night - and he is, even without explanation! - then he doesn't really need to know, does he? If he figures it out on his own, that's fine, but van Helsing doesn't have to tell him when it won't change anything but just add more distress, right?
Arthur managed to circumvent all this today by being so good at seeing through people pretending things are okay/reading between the lines. He forces the issue by showing up in person, and van Helsing is thus convinced to tell him in order to enlist his help. But imagine if he didn't do that. Would van Helsing have told him? Probably, if it looked like the transfusion from Jack wasn't taking. But if it was... well, I could see him changing his mind and deciding not to scare him by revealing that they ever had to perform a transfusion in the first place. After all, it turned out fine, and telling him would only make him worry more without changing the situation.
It's the same thing with Lucy. No need to tell her what they had to do to save her life. Even though van Helsing tells Arthur that he will inform Lucy about what's happened: "I shall tell her all when she is well; she shall love you none the less for what you have done." He never actually does this I think (please do correct me if I'm wrong). And it can be justified again as - oh, she's not well yet, not well enough at any rate. Besides, the procedure is complete and there's no need to worry her over the risk when it's all done anyway. If there were a situation where she had to know, of course he'd tell her, but she doesn't need to know and so he won't.
And so the time keeps getting pushed off and he keeps not telling, and their ignorance of the full extent of the situation becomes dangerous. And still, the motivation is protective and loving.
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So with me nearing the end of Act 1 of BG3, I'll show off this look change I did in light of. Well. Losing my goddamn eye (For The Boon....)
Here's Taltana, based off my very first dnd character!
The Before & After shots for the look.
She's a druid, so I was going for something a bit more... rugged looking, maybe. Natural, definitely. Odd for a drow to be a druid, but that was her whole thing. Escaped the underdark, raised by a druid topside, etc etc. Except she has been sticking her grubby little fingers into every piece of forbidden magic she can get her hands on, and it's gotten to the point where she doesn't really feel much like a druid anymore. The forbidden necromantic knowledge, the embracing of the mind flayer's powers, the love of Loviatar herself...
Aka I'm poking Every button to see what it'll do, and the game is rewarding me for it Handsomely.
Characterization-wise, she's seen a Lot of shit through all of this (and I'm still only on act 1 😭), & after delving deep into the underdark... idk, she just needed something a bit less natural-looking. A bit more intimidating. She's girlfriends with a cleric of Shar, even. She's constantly toeing the lines of corruption and shadow.
And SO. A new look!!! Having her grow her hair out Kind Of. Might change it in later acts too, depending on how those go. For now, I'm enjoying the cosmetic change, bc it makes it feel like She's changing, too.
I also Love how this looks with the circlet I never take off. Perfect for it.
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