#look at him go I love this funky rock man hes very fun to draw jkhlj;k

[ind1c0lite]

LET'S ROCK BABY!!!

(also a timelapse cause csp decided to finally work GJKHLJ)

[fumifooms]

And now I’m truly going off the rails bc of last asker but I have thought about what plant fits who and it’s my time to shine…

Mithrun is a succulent because they look like flowers but aren’t (tougher and also kind of duller), are elegant yet minimalist, and they’re low maintenance (you could definitely argue that Mithrun is high maintenance instead but I went the opposite route of him never feeling like he needs much water, attention and whatnot). I prefer the classic one that’s a pale greyish green for him but there are so many that are neat…

Kabru as a big floating bladderwort… A carnivorous aquatic plant that traps little aquatic critters. If you just look at the flower it looks so pretty and harmless, distracts from the roots scheming murder… Also it’s an aquatic plant, gives me the vibe of something surviving/thriving in an environment that shouldn’t be theirs but they’ve adapted, like a tallman in elf society…..

I also associate him a ton with himalayan blue poppies, for obvious reasons. Insane that the shade of blue of his eyes is associated with the throat chakra btw, Kui’s always doing 8d chess my god.

For Izutsumi, Faassen's Catmint. It's a species of catnip but a man-made hybrid and not a natural species. It kind of looks like a long puffy cat tail with the shape, and it has a lot of little flowers… Kind of subtle/bland and unassuming at first look, but colorful and sweet if you take the time to look. Feels sort of vulnerable/or even cold at first but like they’re just looking out for themselves even if they are not someone unemotional….. It makes sense to me. Babygirl. Purple is an unexpected choice for her but it feels right

Chilchuck echinopsis calochlora or golden barrel cactus… The first one is smaller, but I was trying to find the perfect lil cactus guy with orange spines and couldn’t really find any that was just perfect. Chilchuck "I am so approachable" Tims, literally round and spiny with his little hairs but also metaphorically fitting… Also the gooden barrel cactus has a bunch of lil yellow flowers that sprout on its top while the calochlora has HUGE stalks with a big white flower that sprouts so like, if you want to take that to be his big heart once he reveals it or the little flowers of his care……

Falin is the funky living rocks plant. They have cryptid energy and are just so weird and colorful and unique. A little unfeeling. Sad that she doesn’t get a plant that’s fun to eat but come on.

I feel like Laios would also be a cactus, with maybe juice that has funky properties kind of like peyote… He’s reserved and [spoilers], but he either has no spines or small/few spines so he doesn’t look all that uninviting or tough… Probably has very pretty colorful flowers! Or he’s like Falin and loves dandelions and bishop’s lace because he can eat it. Or maybe he’d be a vegetable. Sweet potato… Someone said carnivorous plant to which I suggest pitcher plant or sarracenia.

I see Senshi as basil. Enough said. Something that can be turned into spices and is all greenery that’s all I need

Thank you for coming to my ted talk. I had these thoughts months ago while sick and feverish </3 Possessed by the want to draw the cast as little plants…….. That would be nice……

[astraeus-moon]

omg I hope your oc knows how much I love him!!!!!!! Faer is so super cool and interesting and I love seeing the posts you tag him in!!!!!! Do you have a drawing of him, or a reference? What does he look like?

And I would absolutely love having our ocs be friends :3

EBTQTBEWGVEQ YESSS! HES MY BLORBO. I AM GOING TO RUN HIM OVER (AFFECTIONATE).

I don't have any drawings I have a couple picrews that are a bit outdated. One is my current pfp but I can give a rougher description bhrwrbhe

This is going to be rambly, my bad. Black hair about shoulder length. It's kinda fluffy he's rocking the bucky Barnes haircut. He's got kinda white streaks throughout due to stress and being 42 <3 (old man). He's got gold eyes with like slitted cats pupils. (Fucked up wolf man) I have a scar map for him somewhere but facial scarring is usually four claw marks down the left side of the face from hair line to collarbone. And one across the nose. He does have freckles as well as white hair in his eyebrows. Noticeable neck scarring like a slit throat, and Wolf teeth marks. He has sharp wolf teeth! Very long noticeable canines. He's missing his right arm due to Bellwether torture, and it has been replaced with a winter soldier style prosthetic. :3

Outfit wise. Mid calf height work boots usually. Some kind of just fatigue pants or jeans. Shirt wise just a button up or random t shirt. Lots of nation parks t shirts. Usually wears a forest green hoodless jacket over it! Usually some kind of baseball/trucker hat. He always has a pocket watch necklace tucked beneath the shirt but the chains visible. He also does wear bandanas it's his one splash of color besides the jacket + shirt. It usually matches. He does have glasses! Tends not to wear them and prefers contacts but there silver rimmed glasses. Wears work gloves pretty often.

I would ADORE having our ocs be friends I love redfall ocs and want to know every one. I love ur ocs so much and I want to know everything. <33

Some misc Faer facts

- grew up in alaska

- been a park ranger for 17 ish years

- his birthday is Jan 1st

- he's Trans:)

- he's Demiromantic and Demisexual and only intrested in men

- hes an only child

- he does draw in his spare time

- werewolfism gave him colorblindness

Edit:

- @shamrockace oc Link p much ends up as his adopted kid

- they buy him wolf themed hats <3

- it's free wolf dad

- they are a funky package deal <3

- I will elaborate on Link, which is a threat.

Ty for ur intrest in my fucked up little wolf man sorry this got long af. I have a very fun lore stuff for him settled.

[firaknight]

Follow up of Adeleines opinions on the helpers :) (stuff in parenthesis is the ability they have)

Blade Knight (Sword): 7/10 Mysterious little dude:

He’s cool! He’s kinda hard to understand at times (he’s got a thick accent, idk what kind), but he’s very nice! He’s got a lot of standards when it comes to swordsmanship and is very strong! He’s working on showing Adeleine the proper stances for sword fighting (it’s possible for her to emulate that style with her paintbrush, minus the cutting ability of a real sword).

Chilly (Ice): 9/10 Snowed Man!!

Snowed man friend!!!! He’s very serious about things but he’s a good friend! Only problem is he has to stick around Adeleines Ice Dragon drawing to prevent the poor guy from melting (they’re working on finding an eternal ice that won’t melt so he can stay cold!). He likes to make snow cones!!! (Which are hella good btw)

Bio spark (Ninja): 8/10 Speedy!!!

One of the fastest helpers around! They’re speedy, sneaky, and all around a mysterious little dude! They have a habit of showing up so quietly that nobody notices for a good couple minutes before they’re just like “I wasn’t even hiding I’ve been standing here this whole time.” Overall, odd but kind little friend!

Birdon (Wing): 7/10 Soft birdie!!!

They’re just a little birdie!!! Birdons probably the most carefree helper out of the bunch, and they like relaxing really high up (much to Adeleines dismay). They tend to make stuff out of the feathers they shed (and they shed very often), so they’re always giving friends bracelets, headgear, jewelry, and such made out of their feathers. Adeleine actually has a coat lined with their feathers and it’s SUPER warm! They’re a little strange (and Kawasaki keeps trying to cook them [see: Star Allies title screen skits]) but they’re a wonderful buddy!

Wester (Whip): 9/10 Yeehaw man!!!!

Dude is legit just a very small cowboy. He cannot help his smallness... He’s agile and absolutely has an accent when he talks. He’s a little chaotic, but has a good heart. Probably taught Adeleine how to mount and ride a grizzo just for fun. She’s got a cowboy hat he made for her!

Plugg (Plasma): 10/10 Old friend!

She’s known Plugg since Crystal Shards! The two are good friends and Plugg likes to paint with her! He’s got some... interesting ways of painting (sticking his entire face into paint and then running facedown on the canvas), but he’s a lovely friend! He likes to run around a lot tho, probably because he’s constantly generating electricity and needs to burn it off so it doesn’t overload him. Will absolutely charge electrical devices without a second thought.

Como (Spider): 6/10 Spider...

While they’re similar to Taranza, they have a lot more spider tendencies, and therefore kinda scared Adeleine. She’s tolerable of them (more so than Susie), but tries to keep her distance. They’re helpful and are very very very sweet!!! They just tend to do creepy spider things and it freaks her out...

Bugzzy (Suplex): 7/10 Massive bug dude

He’s like... huge. Closer to, if not taller, than Adeleines height. He has very sharp pincers on the front of his face, and they can be painful when used, so he either wraps them in bandaging or puts rubber caps over them! That way he can grab and hold friends without harm! He��s oddly cuddly and likes to carry people around (not neccisarily throwing them) in his pincers. Overall, big doofus bug who has lots of love.

Broom Hatter (Clean): 8/10 Clean freak

Literally cannot handle dirty shit. At all. Has the urge to clean everything. Perks are that they keep the base everyone hangs out in super duper clean! Adeleines taught them to draw and it helps them not want to compulsively clean everything. They make really pretty art!

Poppy Bros Jr. (Bomb): 9/10 Funky lad!

He’s got an older brother of the same name (Poppy Bros Sr.) and he’s a boss in training! One day he hopes to be just as good as his brother! Dude is ultra high energy (which is why he’s always hopping around) and tends to be a little obnoxious. They can’t entirely help it, they’re just energetic! They’ve taught Adeleine how to yeet explosives and she’s genuinely good at it!

Rocky (Stone): 7/10 He is literally just a rock

Sentient rock! He’s a little slow and can’t really talk, but he’s a buddy! He likes to just turn into his stone form and just sit like that. It’s comfy and feels like home to him. Will not hesitate to use himself as a step or a seat for someone if needed. He also gives everyone hes friends with a special rock! Adeleines has marbling to it and looks absolutely beautiful!

Waddle Doo (Beam): 8/10 Funky little man!

He’s got only one eye and therefore has poor eyesight. You’d think one eye would be better, but nope! He wears essentially one huge contact lens to help! They’re buddies with Parasol Dee and Bandee!!! Doo is on the calmer side of the group, and tends to not be so insanely high strung. He’s still a little anxious, but he’s better at covering it than the other. He hangs out with Wester sometimes (whip-like attack squad)

Chef Kawasaki (Cook): 2/10 Hes creepy and I don’t like him.

He has this weird... unsettling energy about him. He’s tried to cook both Coo and Birdon more than once and she genuinely doesn’t like being around him. He makes good food, which has stopped him from being a 0/10 in her book, but thats it. He’s only there because Kirby thought he’d be a nice addition and everyone knows that if Kawasaki crosses the line he will get booted on the spot. (Kirby has standards too!)

Gim (Yo-yo): 7/10 Hes just a robot huh.

He’s kinda strange, and doesn’t appear to have a lot of feeling, but Gims really nice! He likes to show people all the tricks he can do with his yo-yo (which is surprisingly a lot) and gives all his friends a yo-to so they can do the tricks along with him (Adeleines is teal with red and black stripes. It’s also got a couple paint splotches on it that we’re added on purpose).

Burning Leo (Fire): 8/10 Toasty heater child!

They’re small and warm!!! All the time!!! They like to be held and snuggle up to cold stuff because it’s the same feeling as snuggling up to warm stuff for humans. REEEEAAALLLYYY wants to hug Chilly but there is the very real possibility that Chilly will literally melt so he holds off from that. Adeleine tends to be cold and likes to hold Leo like a hot water bottle. He’s learned how to make his head fire harmless so people can hold him and not get burned!!

Driblee (Water): 9/10 Oh my god they’re adorable!

Sothisispartiallyjustmebecauseilovethewaterabilityimsorry They’re a little lizard mermaid! They adore swimming more than you’d think and hold pool parties!! They hang around Chilly because their water tends to be on the colder side and Chilly can use them to reform melted bits of Adeleine can’t get Ice Dragon to do it. They’re actually made entirely out of water! They can literally transform back into water by going into water. This also means that they can conform to spaces not meant for them like bottles and containers. They like to make drinks for people since the water they use for attacking is some of the cleanest water out there! (It also tastes super fucking good)

Bonkers (Hammer): 7/10 Kinda scary...

He’s big, taller than Adeleine (especially if he stands fully upright), and has an intimidating look, but he’s all bark and no bite! Dude is literally just a ball of sunshine! He likes to carry people around and will 100% shield someone from attacks (he’s sturdy!!!). He’s helping Adeleine with her strength because she’s fragile and a little scrawny and he’s all muscle (shes gotten a lot better!). Shes got her own lightweight hammer he lets her use so she can get a little stronger!

Sir Kibble (Cutter): 9/10 Smol knight!

He cannot help his size... but he’s tough! He also has no fucking braincells and does not think but he’s a good boy! He likes to headbutt people but his helmet poses a problem (it literally has a blade attached to it) so he puts a padded pool noodle over it to protect others (the padding is so the noodle doesn’t get chopped from the blade itself when force is applied). He’s just a little dude with no thoughts... head empy...

NESP (ESP): 4/10 They talk too much and know stuff about me that I never told them.

Strange and not very cool :( They have a tendency to read other people’s minds because they purposefully don’t tune their thoughts out and therefore know a lot of stuff they really shouldn’t. They also don’t know how to keep their mouth shut. Thankfully they’re just funky from psychic power and on a good day they’re kinda nice to be around!

Vividria (Artist): 10/10 THATS MY ADOPTED SISTER!!

They’re siblings. Drawcia adopted Adeleine as one of her own and that makes Vividria her sis! They paint together and Vividria kinda sticks up for Adeleine in more dicey fights because of Adeleines low HP. They’re the bestest of friends and are super cool with one another! She’s still growing and is one day gonna reach Drawcias size!! (If we put it into normal heights [Adeleine being 5’3” and Kirby being 1’8”] Drawcia is over double Kirby’s height. Probably closer to 3-4 feet)

Parasol Waddle Dee (Parasol): 9/10 Oh my god they’re just a smol friend...

Dee is literally almost as high strung and anxious as Bandee but they’re so sweet!! They like rain!! They also give parasols to all their friends! (Adeleines is teal with paint splotches!) They tend to nap a lot and will totally join cuddle piles. On hot days they’ll utilize the chumbrella as a big shade for everyone in the nap pile. Just a squishy little dee!!!!!

Knuckle Joe (Fighter): 10/10 Hes super supportive and nice!

He saw how fragile Adeleine was and said “aight so I may not be a master but I’m gonna teach this kid how to fight” and didn’t wait for any objections. Once a week he goes out into the forest with Adeleine and shows her how to fight like him! Physical combat is important!!! She can’t fire off energy blasts or deal lightning speed punches, but she’s getting there! He’s ultra supportive of everyone and loved to teach people stuff!!! He care about everyone!!!!

Beetley (Beetle): 8/10 Why is he so angy!!

Always grumpy. He says it’s because he keeps losing to Bugzzy but it’s just because he’s super small and gets picked up like a burger all the time (if you didn’t wanna be held like a burger don’t be burger shaped idiot). Isn’t aggressive but will headbutt people with the blunt end of his horn when he’s being extra grouchy. Adeleine likes picking him up because he gets all stiff like a ferret (when you pick them up and they stick their feet’s up all stiff).

Jammerjab (Staff): 9/10 Funky but fun!

Was originally really wary of them because of the whole Void Termina thing and their assosciation with the bad guys wasn’t a good thing but they’re super cool! They’re graceful and like to stand on their staff a lot. They also help the smaller helpers get stuff up high (they themselves are small but their staff can extend a lot so they can use that for extra height). They let Adeleine use their staff and she’s not that good at it (she always whacks herself in the face while trying to use it) but it’s a nice gesture! They know a lot about the Jambastion and like to tell people all the wacky secrets it holds (like how Hyness has an entire room full of just robes that all look the exact fucking same or how theres a specific set of hallways that move and change to get trespassers lost in them). Honestly a fun little guy to be around

[kim-chann]

--- Order Instructions ;; Hi! I would like a Osomatsu san match up 💕 I'm a Scorpio, pronouns are she/her, I'm 5'2, petite and have long black hair and dark brown eyes. I'm a Scorpio but, I'm actually quite shy! I keep to myself but as soon as I'm comfortable around you I'm really cheerful and funny!! I'd like to think I'm really kind towards others, always making sure they're happy and not sad. I always put others first before myself. I love the summer and spring time and I draw a lot too haha (Hope this is enough! >.<)

                                                              -- Anon

༺ Chef Note: Thank you for ordering! I hope you enjoy your Funky-Rainbow Crepe Cake, please come again soon! Did you know it only takes me 10-15 mins to write a matchup? How crazy lol

I match you up with . . . 

                                  Choromatsu Matsuno ｜松野チョロ松 !!!

☉ The third brother of the Matsuno brothers! AKA the straight man in the family

☉ First of all, Choromatsu thought you were adorable when he first encountered you. He thought that you were someone popular because of your looks and your attitude 

☉ With you being friendly with him, it just made him into a blushy-gentlemen of a mess, and he gets all nervous and red, even if you just ask him something simple like the time 

☉But as the two of you get to know each other, and he grows more comfortable, he can’t help but dearly adore you

☉ He finds that you put others before yourself, but sometimes scolds you that you also need to pay attention to yourself too. 

☉ Choromatsu is like you’re rock that helps you with your decision making and he’s surprisingly very reliable, despite being a jackass

☉ Choromatsu thinks it’s amazing how you want to make sure that everyone’s happy and sacrificing your own morals for people to be happy

☉Sometimes, he gets a bit upset and talks to you about it, but most of the time, he takes care of you since you don’t pay attention to yourself 

☉He’ll try to do the chores (to his dismay) and even cook a meal for you (and burns it), but he’s just trying his best to be a good boyfriend!

☉If Choromatsu was more honest and observed from afar, he’d think that you’re the “mother” in a group that always makes sure that everyone’s happy and cared for, while Choromatsu, is sort of like the “dad” that takes care of you, when you cannot

☉ Choromatsu also loves the summer and spring, and sometimes he’s always in for a hike if you’re willing to come along

☉ Choromatsu adores nature, but he never really shared that information like that to his brothers because that just seems quite embarrassing 

☉But with you, he can be himself and he can finally let out his frustrations against his brothers with someone like you

☉ He thinks of you as a saint that always makes him happy

☉ Choromatsu isn’t too vocal about saying, “I love you,” but his love language  of acts of service and praise

☉ I hope you don’t jealous too easily, cause sometimes Choromatsu will be squealing over Nyaa chan occasionally and just being a fanboy as he is

☉ If you don’t like his obsession with Nyaa chan, he’ll try his best to get rid of it by focusing on other things like reading or looking at more manga to occupy his time that was usually reserved for Nyaa chan

☉ If you’re fine with him being like this, he’ll even cry at your feet and thank you because he thought that you were going to make him trash all his merch of his idol

☉Don’t worry about him cheating on you, he’s a very loyal boy, and he’s always there for you, even if he’s not physically there

☉ Choromatsu is a very sweet boy, cherish him!

☉Overall, being with this man is quite fun and he’s always willing to sacrifice everything for you just to see you happy and smiling 

༺ Chef’s Note: Sorry if this is too short, my brain is rotting from school and the lack of sleep lmao. 

[xoruffitup]

Flip Ficlets (Part III?)

Since the first time I saw BlacKkKlansman, I wondered what was going on in Flip’s head when Ron asks why he’s not taking the investigation more personally, and Flip answers “Rookie, that’s my fuckin’ business.” My brain supplied...

What if Flip had a girlfriend of color during the investigation?

Pt ii: This wouldn’t leave me alone

All it took was some nice Flip gifsets on my dash, and suddenly I wrote more of this. Here we’ve got the flashback scene to when Sarah first found out Flip was a cop, Flip getting dragged (somewhat) against his will to a disco, and Sarah’s feelings a few years in on being with a white guy.

Not beta’d or anything, just had fun. 

Flip has no idea how he got talked into this.

“Hell no. No way,” had been his gruff reply when Sarah leaned away from the telephone to excitedly call, “Patrice and Ron are going to a disco tonight!”

It was a Friday evening after a long day and an even longer week. Apparently Ron had other ways he liked to recover, but Flip’s ideal Friday night usually involved reclining in a horizontal position. Definitely not dancing.

“You’re such a drag,” Sarah drawled, clicking her tongue disapprovingly. “Well, I’m going. You can either come along, or accept that I’ll spend all night dancing with other guys. And you never know, some of them might be hotter than you.”

Well, that was how right there.

Flip had just stared for a long second, then blinked slowly when Sarah twirled out of the bedroom in a spangly dress that flashed plenty of shoulders and thighs. His mouth suddenly very dry around the urge to march her straight back into the bedroom, he managed, “Sarah, I have nothing to wear.”

She’d just grinned, the glitter on her dark eyelids shimmering phosphorescent.  

“Just wear my favorite shirt. The red one. I’ll be satisfied.”

Flip made a passing attempt to tame his hair before pulling his boots on. (Boots to a disco. There was no hope for him at all.) Before Sarah could pull her coat on at the front door, he’d drawn her close enough to kiss her mostly-bare shoulder appreciatively. She breathed out fast and gave his hair a brief, playful tug.

“No time for that, babe. Let’s go, let’s go!”

Flip released something between a sigh and a grumble of acceptance as he grabbed his own coat and followed her out the door. The sooner they left, the sooner they’d be home when there would be time for that.

“Brother!” Ron crowed as Flip and Sarah approached him and Patrice outside the club entrance. Flip dutifully extended his hand for his and Ron’s customary handshake-slide.

“Your glitter! You look dynamite,” Patrice greeted Sarah, immediately enveloping her in a hug.

Ron’s grin – beneath an afro boasting fresh volume – could only be described as shit-eating.

“I didn’t think there was a chance in hell she’d get you to come out.”

Flip sighed, his gaze sliding indulgently towards his girlfriend. “Looks like hell hasn’t frozen over yet.”

The moment they passed inside, Ron noticed Flip’s demeanor shift and stiffen a bit. He seemed to hunch his shoulders a bit, in a mostly futile bid to make his towering frame less conspicuous.

Not that he needed height to draw looks.

Sarah, while making it look perfectly natural and effortless, made sure to always be touching Flip. Whether linking her hand with his or staying pressed to his side, she made it clear he’s with me – he’s no trouble.

Ron navigated them to the bar and secured the first round of drinks. Just before Patrice dragged her off to the neon-light dance floor, Sarah tucked a kiss against Flip’s cheek and made the vaguely threatening promise, “Don’t get too cozy at the bar here, I’m coming back for you.”

Once the girls slid off into the dancing crowd, Ron raised his glass for Flip to toast.

“I always did want to see your moves, soul brother,” Flip joked, even as his gaze compulsively jumped from each set of potentially hostile eyes to the next. Without Sarah right there pressed against him, he couldn’t quite suppress the instinct.

“I’ll only show you mine if you show me yours.”

“Hate to break it to you, but even after all your tutelage I still don’t have a funky bone in my body. Probably a lost cause.”

Flip took a long sip and spotted Sarah over the rim of the glass, dancing at the center of the floor. Immediately, he found himself soothed.

Ron nudged his elbow into Flip’s side. “It’s all about the woman, partner.”

With some difficulty, Flip tore his gaze from Sarah to peer at Ron.

“What now?”

“All you gotta do is let your woman lead. The rest comes naturally, trust me.”

“I don’t know. Trusting you has landed me in some pretty deep shit once or twice.”

“Flip. It pains me that you don’t trust me as a reliable authority on disco.”

“Well. More of an authority than me, I’ll give you that. Though that ain’t saying much.”

“Sure as hell isn’t. Nice boots, by the way.”

“Fuck off.”

Ron just grins, looking to be having an absolute delight of a time.

When the girls rejoin them, and Sarah – all laughter and heaving heartbeat and smudged glitter around her eyes – shimmies in against his side again, Flip feels like a whole new kind of interloper.

She glows, the most enticing star that’s ever burned in the night sky, and no matter whether in a club frequented by whites or blacks, he’d still look utterly out of place with her.

Sarah loops her arms up around his neck and pulls playfully. “Time to face your fate.”

Flip tries to shoot a beseeching appeal to Ron, but only catches his back as Patrice tows him towards the flashing lights of the dance floor.

There’s no hope for him now.

“Honey – I’m gonna make you look a fool.”

He already looked the fool the second he stepped in here in his boots and worn flannel – even if it is Sarah’s favorite. But Sarah – her sashaying hips, hair flips, and light feet could put this whole place in the palm of her hand.

“Not with me, you won’t,” she promises brightly, seeming to have full confidence in the same power of the leading lady espoused by Ron.

Flip hates it, he really does. Never in his life has he been a dancer. Especially not in places where he’s a magnet for attention.

This is her night. It’s for her.

So he says nothing, and lets her slight, small hands pull him deep into the crowd of people on the dance floor.

In desperation, he recalls what Ron meant as advice: Let your woman lead. The rest comes naturally.

And somehow – his miraculous goddess of a woman makes it so easy. Her back to his front, Sarah holds his hands against either side of her hips, letting him feel the sway and dip of her movements. She presses back against him just enough to nudge him into the rhythm. Over her shoulder, Flip can see her smile as he gradually matches her pace. And it… isn’t so bad, moving where she moves, savoring the weaving of her body against his and just letting himself sink into equilibrium with her.

After almost three years together, the familiar yet no less spectacular shape of her small body pressed to his carries all the sure-footed reassurance of a bright blue, sunny sky.

She lets her head tip back against his shoulder, grinning between songs.

“Like I keep telling you, you’re not so bad, babe. Even for a white boy.”

Apparently not everyone agrees. Before Flip can make a joke in return, a young man detaches from the crowd with an impeccably styled afro almost to compete with Ron, armed with a charming smile all for Sarah.

Smoothly managing to avoid even a glance at Flip, the guy offers, “I couldn’t help but notice this gorgeous sister dancing near me, who looked like she might be in need of a proper partner. Might I be of service?”

Flip almost admires the guy’s nerve. He knows Sarah well enough to stay quiet and let her handle this herself.

Sarah just tucks herself closer to Flip, smiling sweetly at the guy. “Nice of you to offer, but I’m perfectly fine with my boyfriend here.”

The guy’s mouth opens in abrupt surprise. He finally looks at Flip now, reassessing.

Flip stays silent, but can’t help himself resting a possessive hand at Sarah’s shoulder. He looks somewhere other than the guy’s face, and makes every effort to temper his glare. While Flip concertedly doesn’t watch, the guy finally gets lost.

“What a presumptuous jerk, right?” Sarah looks up at Flip through her lashes, indulging him.

Flip keeps looking out into the crowd, a slight frown clinging to his lips despite his full knowledge that the guy was no threat.

Sarah is just about to poke him into dancing again when he mumbles only just audibly over the music, “If you want to have a few dances with a partner who knows what he’s doing… I won’t mind.”

Sarah just stares up at him for a long moment, before cracking an amused smile.

“How much did that hurt to choke out?”

“Nearly stuck in my throat.”

Smiling to herself and the happiest she’s been all night, Sarah draws herself closer against him and hooks her arms up around his neck, making Flip meet her eyes.

“You came out with me tonight. You’re the only one I want to dance with.”

The music slows into a gentle, easy beat and this – this Flip can handle just fine. He rests his hands at her waist, before sliding his arms around her and drawing her all the way in. Her breath is warm and soothing against his neck, as she hums in approval near his ear and settles into a slow, pleasant sway to the music.

This, Flip doesn’t mind one bit.

“Then I’m the luckiest son of a bitch here tonight.”

He wonders if the glitter on her face is rubbing off against his neck and shirt right now. He finds he really doesn’t care.

Sarah twirls her fingers in the hair along the back of his neck. She always loves when he lets his hair get long. She nestles in closer as Flip keeps them rocking back and forth. It’s her favorite place – wrapped in his arms and nearly enveloped in the breadth of his body.

Times like right now, Flip still can’t believe that, somehow, he’s to her taste. She’s the most beautiful woman in the place, and she’s spent the last three years with a lug like him. There are a hundred good reasons why she might never have given him the time of day – not the least being his job and the fact that her clubs, discos, and bars aren’t meant for him.

And yet – way back when, she was the one to kiss him first. She’s the one who keeps a hard line with her parents, who keep prodding her to “dump the pig already.” Three years and she’s still immovable.

Flip will never quite understand; he’ll just keep doing his best to treat her right and not tempt his good fortune.

The sweeping droplets reflecting off the disco ball dapple across her dark skin. Her long weave of braided hair is a bit mussed, and she’s warm and sweaty in his arms.

He dips his head, resting his lips near her ear.

“I can’t wait to get home and make love with you.”

She goes onto her toes, stretching up towards him in a way that’s simply sacred.

“You’ve been working late this week. I think you owe me an all-nighter.”

“’till dawn, at least.”

“Maybe straight through breakfast. We’ve got no plans tomorrow.”

And Flip wouldn’t even be surprised if she means it. She’s the tiniest woman he’s ever shared a bed with, but by far the most voracious. Keeping her satisfied is his supreme joy.

They only last another two songs. They find Ron and Patrice to say their goodbyes, before Sarah leads their way out with Flip’s hand gripped tight in hers.

He doesn’t plan on letting her go for the rest of the night.

Maybe not ever.

~~~~~

Flip had wondered when to broach it. Dreaded it.

On their third date, he thought it improper to put it off any longer.

“You haven’t asked me what I do for a living.”

Sarah had sat back in her seat across the diner booth. She knew that it had perhaps been intentional. She liked him so much so far. Perhaps she was scared of thinking of him separate from this – out doing things other than holding doors for her, waiting for her to initiate reaching for his hand before he so much as kissed her goodnight, smiling his crinkly smile and laughing his deep laugh at her jokes.

“I suppose I haven’t.”

Flip pushed fries around his plate, simultaneously relieved and deeply regretting steering the conversation this way.

Still. He knew putting it off any longer would only make it worse.

“I’m a detective. I… work down at the station.”

Her body stiffened. Her hands, which had been laid on the table as if in consideration of touching him, withdrew to her lap. Her jaw went rigid, mouth drawn tight.

“So you’re a cop.”

He only barely had the heart to look at her. Still, he nodded.

“You could say that.”

She crossed her arms, shifted on the seat. He wondered if she was weighing the option to walk out right then and there.

Instead, she asked in a voice deceptively light and difficult to parse, “You do fancy undercover work?”

“Sometimes. It’s not so fancy though, usually just listening to wire taps all day.”

She stared at him – gaze assessing and harder than usual, but not entirely closed off. Not yet, at least.

“You ever arrested people?”

“It’s in the line of work.”

“People like me? Who never done anything wrong but live in a world where others don’t want us to?”

Flip took a deep breath. He was already jonesing for a cigarette.

“I have arrested two black men, yes. But two who’d done quite a bit wrong and only after we had reliable evidence against them.”

Her eyes took on a fierce glint now.

“You ever been the type to flash your lights and pull over a black driver just to rough them up a bit?”

Flip’s mouth twitches into a frown, his tone turning a shade less gentle. “Do I seem the type?”

Sarah doesn’t give an inch of ground. “No, you’ve gotta tell me. Because you could be a very different person when you walk out that door than the one sitting here with me. For all I know, you may be the type who thinks it’s fine to bag a black woman, but wouldn’t blink an eye if you saw one of my brothers beaten on the streets.”

Flip sat back, all thought of food gone along with any trace of resistance. He kept fitting together then discarding answers – each more deficient than the last. Whatever he says, he knows it can’t entirely quell her misgivings. Only his actions and time can do that.

He doesn’t say that the barber who cuts his hair is black. He doesn’t say that he mows the lawn for the elderly woman across the street from him, who happens to be black. He understands that just like his presence here across the table from her, that doesn’t prove anything.

“I can tell you that no, I’ve never pulled over anyone of any color if they weren’t speeding. But I know that’s not enough. All I can do is ask for the chance to take you out again and start proving it.”

She took him in for a long time, simply assessing the sincerity in his expression – weighing the future burden of inevitably navigating the chasms between their experiences and views of the world. Would he understand that some of those chasms could never be crossed; but it was his responsibility to see them anyway?

“I should just warn you - I’m difficult to please,” she said, the hint of a smile returning in just the corners of her lips. “But I’ll give you that chance. From what I know of you so far, I think you’ll make it count.”

She rested her hands up on the table again, leaning in again over her seat.

On the other side of the booth, Flip relaxed. She was still there. He realized part of him hadn’t expected anything after this conversation. He’d thought it wasn’t even worth hoping for – that she’d still be comfortable spending time with him once she knew everything.

But she’d given him a chance, and Flip intended to earn and treasure her trust.

He slid his hand across the table, just so his fingertips could brush across the back of her hand. He waited, but she didn’t pull away. She just gave him a small, budding smile.

“Let’s go get a drink.”

~~~~~~~~

Since the day she first met him in the bar where she used to mix drinks, Sarah has always felt completely and utterly safe with Flip. He’d come over and interposed himself between her and three guys who’d been harassing her as she tried to leave from a shift. He’d walked her out to the parking lot, offered to drive her home, and she’d never wanted to be parted from him since. It was more than simply trusting him – more than knowing with absolute certainty that he was a good, honorable man who respected and provided for her.

It was his size, when they were out together and a pair of hostile eyes fled in the opposite direction when they caught sight of him at her side. It was his carrying license and shoulder holsters – the only weapons she’d ever known with certainty would never turn against her, but would only ever be used in her protection. It was the way his presence beside her at the grocery store made the checkout person smile at her with a brightness she’d never known before. It was the way no white man sneered or smirked at her across a crowded room anymore, ever since Flip became a permanent fixture.

For a long time, she never told him these things – afraid he would feel she was using him. Sarah never troubled herself with such qualms. She knew she loved Flip for the right reasons. All the advantages to being with him had only made themselves known after she chose his company, after all.

Of course, not all her friends and family would call them “advantages.”

“How could you?” her now ex-friend had hissed. “Racist cops are out there running us down like dogs, and you’re fucking one.”

Sarah had just fixed her hair, unperturbed. This was nothing she hadn’t already considered.

“If you respect me as a woman and friend, you’d trust me to never betray my people like that.”

“But that’s what it sure sounds like.”

“Know what I think? I think it sounds like you’re doing the same thing as those racist cops. Which – I’d care to note – Flip isn’t.”

“How could you even compare-“

“It sounds like you’re trying to tell me they’re all the same, but I thought we were more evolved than that.”

Sarah doesn’t shrink from her black pride. For a while, she wondered if it was a type of passing – enjoying the freedom from harassment thanks to her intimacy with a white man. Wondered if she had crossed some invisible line without realizing, and was now separated from her brothers and sisters.

But then she’d get groceries or go to the butcher on her own, and nothing had changed. Not really. Except she’d go home and be even more grateful for the warmth of Flip’s arms and the soft scrape of his beard when she kissed him.

Home was safe. Home was where he was. And so she stopped worrying about any of it.

Then he finally asked.

She’d been out late with some friends – a little tipsy when she rung him at the station to come pick her up from the club.

It wasn’t one of the clubs they usually frequented – one that was a bit more mixed. She and her two friends had only been outside for all of a few minutes before two burly white men started jeering from across the street. They crossed the street, but were only just approaching the girls when Flip pulled up. But they’d been close enough, and Flip was trained to read violence in body language.

He’d swung a sloppy park job, jumped from the truck, and blocked their approach. He’d flashed his badge in case the contempt in his glare wasn’t loud enough. Maybe it’d be enough to scare them off such behavior for good.

He’d had Sarah’s friends squeeze into the truck and dropped them off before bringing Sarah home. She remained silent – mostly because she wasn’t a talkative drunk, but Flip perceived different reasons entirely.

They were in the kitchen – Sarah chugging water, Flip hovering in the doorway, unsure if the comfort he wanted to give would be welcome – when he asked.

“Is it ever… too hard?”

Sarah needed a moment to focus on him. The kitchen lights were so bright. The concern and anxiety in his expression was a lot to take in.

“Is what?”

He huffed a slow sigh, lifting a hand to rub across his mouth for a moment as if feeling the shape of each word as he considers them.

“Being with someone who looks like me. Who looks like…. That.”

“Oh.”

Oh.

Sarah had filled and downed a second glass of water, willing herself sober.

When she looked at him again, she knew he hadn’t asked for any reassurance for his own sake. He wasn’t asking for her validation or forgiveness, nor was he trying to indirectly make some ‘we’re not all like that’ statement. The question had been solely for her sake – the rest of the world be damned.

And that… that makes her answer for him; with an answer no less true.

She comes to stand near him in the entryway to the kitchen, watching him look between her face and scanning her body, as if still reassuring himself nothing happened. She waits until he relaxes slightly, until she has his attention completely in the present moment.

“Flip. Baby. You don’t look like them. Not to me.”

She reached up to touch his cheek, to trace she shape of his mouth as he pressed a small, hesitant smile against her fingers. His hand on her hip was gentle and warm.

They got ready for bed in silence. Flip helped with undoing the back of her dress and sliding her head and arms into her pajama shirt – her coordination not quite at peak performance.

In bed, the lights out, Flip pulled her close and wrapped her up more tightly than usual. He kissed her ear until she’d gone utterly relaxed and content. At first, she burrowed her face in close against his chest, breathing in all the comfort he offered. She luxuriated in the strength she could feel at rest in his arms – alongside the tender circling of his fingertips along her back.

Suddenly, she had more to say. She lifted up just enough to find his eyes in the dim bedroom. She stroked his hair back from his face, leaning close.

“You look like the guy I don’t bitch about cooking dinner for. Who picks me up without a single complaint when it’s the middle of the night and I’m drunk. Who can fuck real good but love even better. The guy who doesn’t think he’s noble for treating me well – it’s just what anyone should do. You look like the guy who doesn’t ask if it’s a place for whites or colors, when we go out. The guy who says my hair’s beautiful, even though you’ll never understand why it takes so long to get it done.”

She leans a little closer now, her hands coming up cup his jaw, fingers gently stroking over his beard.

“You look like the guy I trust to keep me safe. The only guy I’ve ever known where it actually makes me feel better, knowing you keep a handgun in the closet. That’s what I see, Flip - the guy who gave me what means the most. A home where I know I’ll always be safe.”

As much as it enrages him, tonight had hardly been an isolated incident. Sarah had plenty of stories of experiencing such threats – some of which Flip had witnessed firsthand. But he has no power over people’s cruelty or small-mindedness. Neither of them do. All he can do is look out for her. And the whole time, part of him had just waited until it became too much for her. Until all his skin color represents became too burdensome to keep in her life any longer.

So this – it means something to him. She doesn’t see him as a turncoat or defector from enemy lines; still hovering in her line of vision. To her, he has always been behind her own line – on her own side, in private from the rest of the world.

“Sarah, I swear I’ll always protect you. Until the day when this world is less fucked up and you don’t need it anymore.”

“Mm…. but what if I still need you?”

Flip nuzzles the top of her head, draws her in a little tighter.

“Then I’ll still be there.”

She’s half asleep, head pillowed against his chest and his arms still twined around her, when she murmurs, “Flip?”

He rumbles out, “Hm?”

“Tell me you love me.”

Truth be told, he’d been thinking it. Just nervous to say the words – as he perpetually was, no matter that it wasn’t anything near the first time.  

Flip opened his eyes to press a kiss to her forehead, then three more down the side of her half-asleep face. Warmth bloomed in him at her contented sigh.

“I love you. More than I know the words for.”

She rumbled a sigh, her head nodding sleepily against his chest as her lips curled in a smile.

“Good.”

[24hour-blues]

all the ones you haven't answered yet? i'm sorry you're sad💙

thank you, that's very sweet. i hope you're doing alright 💛

1. when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? - more milk. i always end up putting too much.

2. do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? - yes

3. what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? - library receipts, post-its, junk mail, pencils

5. are you self-conscious of your smile? - i think it’s one of the few things i’m not self-conscious about, actually. i like my smile.

8. what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? - writing, often poetry but sometimes prose. i like creating playlists, too, and singing.

9. do you like singing/humming to yourself? - yeah, i sing to myself all the time. whatever song i have stuck in my head at the moment.

10. do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? - side, but very occasionally my stomach.

12. what’s your favorite planet? - jupiter

14. if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? - lots of pillows and blankets of all types. succulents and cacti on the windowsills. wooden utensils and dark cabinets in the kitchen. a breakfast bar with stools that don’t match. rugs with funky patterns. a big, soft couch in a bright color that you can sink into. a small balcony with fold-out chairs. rows of mugs and barely any plates. the bathroom crowded with makeup and skin products, writing on the mirror in blue marker. beds never made. a guitar in the corner of the sitting room.

15. go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! - there are more trees on earth than stars in the milky way

16. what’s your favorite pasta dish? - angel hair pasta with puttanesca sauce

18. tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. - i can’t think of anything...

19. do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? - everything. sometimes it’s big things, sometimes small. my fears and what i’m in love with. regrets. shame. hope.

20. what’s your favorite eye color? - grey

21. talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. - idk if it’s really my favorite, but my current backpack took me all through college and it’s good for storing stuff or using as an overnight bag. it’s from timberland and is a nice earthy brown with a flap over the top. lots of pockets.

22. are you a morning person? - i can be

23. what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? - make breakfast and tea. read or watch a movie that makes me rethink everything

25. what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? - a school, i think?

26. what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? - i haven’t had them forever, but i wear my doc martens with everything. i used to wear plain white keds with everything.

27. what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? - winter green

28. sunrise or sunset? - sunrise

30. think of it: have you ever been truly scared? - yes

31. what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. - i like soft, fluffy socks and ones with fun patterns. i love hiking socks. i don’t wear them to sleep tho.

32. tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. - i went to a waffle house at 5am with a friend and some friends of hers i’d just met on her birthday. we were all really drunk, the food took forever, and it tasted awful, but we were happy and laughing.

33. what’s your fave pastry? - probably a cinnamon roll

35. do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? - i like a good calligraphy pen and new notebooks. i don’t use them often; i feel like i don’t have anything important enough to write.

37. do you like keeping your room messy or clean? - it’s usually clean unless i’m not feeling well. sometimes i get disorganized.

38. tell us about your pet peeves! - overlapping conversations. people interrupting others. loud mouth noises, like chewing or licking. people criticizing my driving. nitpicky comments on my clothes or how i look. being talked about.

39. what color do you wear the most? - black, probably.

41. what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? - how it feels to float by helena fox

42. do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! - nope

43. who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? - i’m not sure

44. when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? - i can’t remember

45. do you trust your instincts a lot? - not really

46. tell us the worst pun you can think of. - i can’t remember it but something about pigeons and being coo-l

47. what food do you think should be banned from the universe? - bacon. i just wanna make people angry.

48. what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? - my dad told me a story once, about when i was a kid. he said that he and i were walking together near the lake in the neighborhood across from mine. i was holding his hand, and i said to him that this was the happiest time in my life because i wouldn't be the same when i grew out of being a child. i think i have the same fear now--that i'll never be that happy again.

49 do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

- i like records but i only have one. it's an album by ccr. i really like them

50. what’s an odd thing you collect?

- beer bottle caps

52. what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

- maybe those "girl..." text posts that just say stupid shit

53. have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

- watched them all but pulp fiction. i don't really remember heathers at all

55. what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

- lets not talk about that

57. go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

- not in the mood sorry

58. who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? - bri is wine mom. quincy and i are vodka aunt.

60. do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

- yes but i rarely remember favorites. i read so much and feel it then forget all the words

61. what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

- someone gave me a rock once. i get too nervous to give stupid gifts

62. do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

- orange or cranberry

63. are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

- i'm more fussy about music than books, but i do like my books organized. i like them worn in and well-read tho, not in perfect shape.

64. what color is the sky where you are right now?

- a fuzzy, light blue-grey. it's snowing

65. is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

- a few

66. what would your ideal flower crown look like?

- lots of green leaves in all different shapes and sizes. tiny white and blue flowers.

67. how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

- isolated and insignificant. safe

68. what’s winter like where you live?

- cold, grey, snowy.

69. what are your favorite board games?

- idk if i really too many board games. maybe cranium. i like puzzles more

71. what’s your favorite kind of tea?

- honey vanilla chamomile

72. are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

- yea and even then i forget.

73. what are some of your worst habits?

- i give up too easily

74. describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

- excitable. emotional. so very smart. creative as all hell. self-conscious where they shouldn't be. never runs out of words in the best way. loves to share.

75. tell us about your pets!

- my dog shiver is turning into a little old man, but he still acts like a puppy. he likes attention and whines to communicate. he'll greet you at the door and put his front paws on your thighs to say hi. follows you all around the house. loves to cuddle.

- my pigeon spirit is young and vocal. she coos for attention. when i go to sleep, she grunts every time i move to ask where i am and if i'm okay. i take showers with her and sit on the tile; she puffs up right into my side and sticks her wings out for me to splash water on her. she likes to be close to me to get neck scritches and push her head into my neck and preen every bit of me she can.

76. is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

- a lot probably

77. pink or yellow lemonade?

- limeade

78. are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

- i dunno they're cute

80. what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

- it's white wallpaper with pink roses along the top and ribbons of pink and green striped vertically. my mom chose it before i was born.

81. describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

- they sort of remind me of dark water where everything is reflected back in it--not just the sky but the trees and people walking--and they make you want to look closer because you know there's something in there, it's not just a reflection, like flat glass. but it's hidden until you dio your hand in the pictures broken.

82. are/were you good in school?

- pretty good

83. what’s some of your favorite album art?

- i don't look at albums

85. do you read comics? what are your faves?

- not really, but watchmen is one of my favorites.

86. do you like concept albums? which ones?

- dunno

88. are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

- um. idrk. i like whatever monet was doing.

91. where do you plan on traveling this year?

- maybe michigan

92. are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

- i like cheese

93. what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

- i just kind of. let it do whatever.

94. who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

- my uncle

95. what are your plans for this weekend?

- honestly have no clue

96. do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

- put them off until windows tells me it's restarting the computer in five minutes

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

- mb

98. when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

- in college with jacob, although i wouldn't really call it joking. we just walked through a state park. it was beautiful.

100. if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

- idk. i feel like i'd make the same mistakes if i went back, but the future scares me.

[skeletonsandroses21]

ask meme: F (squishy or crunchy?), N, O, R

F- Squishy or Crunchy: Crunchy. Squishy is an absolutely abysmal texture.

N- If you want to know how I treat my friends: uhhhh idk? I mean, i think I’m generally nice, but also if I’m close with someone I’ll tease them a lot (as long as it’s clear that they’re chill with that) and be goofy around them. I don’t really know how else to answer this, but seeing as you’re one of my friends you might have a better answer

O- If I like my school: Yup. It’s pretty good.

R- For me to tell 10 of my curiosities:

Not sure exactly what this meant, but I’m gonna give 10 of my interests/things I like/things I’m curious about

1. Urban legends/cryptids. They’re just So Neat, and I like to learn the history behind them/how they started.

2. Horror stuff, especially ARGs. I’ve been Big Into these kinds of things since middle school. Not a huge fan of most horror movies, though, just because I don’t find them that interesting/have a hard time getting invested in the characters, but they can be fun if I go see them with people.

3. Hiking. It’s never a bad time if you’re fucking around in the woods (even if you’re lost in the middle of the woods in January, in shorts, and it’s getting dark).

4. Medical stuff. I just think it’s neat. I wanted to be a vet for a long time, but looking back I don’t think that would’ve been a good choice for me. I’m still big into anatomy, though- I think that the anatomy class I took was the best science class I’ve ever taken.

5. Abandoned places. They’re also Very Neat. People used to use those spaces, and they had purposes, and now. They’re just there, empty. Love to learn about different places and how/why exactly they got like that. Would love to visit some of those places, I don’t have anyone to go with. but I’m also big into weird/creepy places (ex. Ponyhenge, I drove past that a few weeks ago and it was pretty neat, also the shaker cemetary’s a neat place) and the concept of liminal space.

6. Animals. I love all kinds of animals.

7. Harold. I just have so many questions. Where’s his obituary? Where’s his grave? Why didn’t my mom or aunt know his actual death date? My mom was over ten years off, and my aunt was about 5 off. Nobody can remember the funeral or anything, but insist that it happened. It’s just so sketchy. Where’d this man go, and why is there so little information on him? Also, why’s he look like an off brand Ron Swanson

8. Movies/Film, especially editing. I liked movies and all that before this year, but I took a class last semester where we made handmade films and also did a lot of editing with After Effects, and it was A Blast. It’s so fun.

9. Art in general. I started really drawing in middle school (really shitty anime drawings, but that’s a Phase That Happens. Those bad boys are on my old Deviantart, and that’s where they’ll stay so I don’t have to look at them ever), and wound up going to art school. I love making art, and I love seeing other people’s art. It’s just neat. I’m big into animation, especially.

10. Uhhhhhhhhh Weird Objects. I collect weird stuff when I find it, which is how my room is full of funky rocks and shells, sea glass and pottery shards from the beach, odd kitschy items, etc. I’ve definitely got weirder things, but can’t think of them off the top of my head. If you couldn’t tell, I’m running out of things to say.

[hakuteeth]

Harry Styles and the Concept of Gender

I have a lot of thoughts and I wanted a place to lay them all out so I’m sorry this is gonna be probably indecipherable but disclaimer I’m not saying harry is a gender he’s not this is just really exploring the concept of freedom with or without gender and expression of oneself thru clothes not so much about identity but the wider concept of the binary based around my own interpretations of it. A femme take on femininity thru a white man’s exploration of gender if u will so if u dont like that i dont care

also.... ive never taken a queer studies class but I love sociology so..... all these connections I make are from my own knowledge and arent meant to box harry in...

Gender defined from a sociological standpoint is based around how we behave and what actions we are expected to perform and for the most part a little give and take people can stick within this binary as it can be safe and comfortable and black and white. What’s interesting is when people step outside the norm and are more willing to explore that grey area that most people simply dont understand. This is interesting because it extends beyond clothing or makeup as most people don’t realize a man wearing makeup does not subvert gender because the gender binary is also inherently shackled to the concept of heteronormativity just as a woman completes a man, the soft counterpart to his masculine ways. 

Harry Styles and the concept of gender started for me with a dress. It never quite occurred to me that harry would wear a dress and reading the rolling stone article that harry had worn or would ever wear something quite as feminine as that. I think for a lot of people solo Harry Styles was a strange and beautiful uncharted territory of course many people came to suspect the new age rock n roll harry had to usher in but what’s fun is not so much deconstructing Harry as a soft rockstar but the idea that Harry has a femininity to him something I never saw until I noticed it everywhere in his clothing and even more interesting his actions.

The most interesting thing is Harry doesn’t quite believe in a gender binary when it comes to fashion possibly attributed to Alessandro Michele’s take on gender or perhaps the work of a really good stylist but I think if anything Harry also believes in that mission that gender could be redefined within the confines of fashion.

Harris Reed described his vision and Harry ended up wearing five different looks on his world tour introducing a student and relatively unknown LGBT designer to the masses and Harris has went on to say that Harry completely understood the connection clothing gender and sexuality have all shared since the dawn of fabric and it’s interesting when one also thinks about the time and effort this collaboration took considering Harris designed all these looks himself over a very short period of time. Harry wasn’t looking for somebody to dress him as what we normally see male popstars wear onstage, he was looking for a risk.

Gender like most things is more complicated than somebody might think. It extends beyond putting on a funky print before leaving the house it’s about the mannerisms, the actions, the behavior of the individual and the overall societal imprint. And Harry’s always been a bit softer than most. He’s always displayed his self as overwhelmingly kind to the point it makes my teeth hurt sometimes and he’s never overbearing. He’s quite quiet and subtle for somebody who can wear a loud pink custom gucci suit. 

Since 2013 he never shied away from looking or being a bit more feminine and he’s always exuded this calming energy or at least I believe if he had an aura it would definitely be soft pink. During his 2018 tour, every night he would tell fans that they were allowed to be whoever they wanted be in that room and it was all about fostering this environment where crying is manly and babies could choose their own gender  (which he said twice on tour). Also something that sticks out quite vividly is when a fan told him his mermaid has saggy boobs and he replied that everybody should love themselves. 

“We are men!” Then he prances away. That’s always how I picture Harry now him using his kilt to curtsey or him twirling like a ballerina on a football pitch. The concept of gender has extended more beyond fashion and into comfortability but also exploring what somebody may not be comfortable with at first but finding they quite like it. 

When men wear nail polish or when you gift your boyfriend flowers for valentines day. It all lies inside the confines of gender. Subverting gender doesnt mean men should wear makeup but it encompasses a vast majority of actions AND behavior or as I like to call it being a bit softer than most. Men have a tendency to bathe themselves in aggression and to assert their dominance and I’m not saying Harry can’t be masculine as well. One of his favorite hobbies is boxing but even then I’d argue that’s less about aggression and more about control and analytical power where taking down an opponent requires more than brute strength.

I believe there’s power in being feminine and there’s power in owning yourself, 100%, and what’s interesting is Harry is the one who taught me that. I think a lot of people see Harry as this mysterious figure and while he is more private than some people would like I also think he’s shown us a lot about himself and it all depends on us to draw our own conclusions. The thing is I don’t like Harry cause I think he subverts gender or I think he’s feminine. I like him cause he’s authentically himself without any concern for others and he’s different. I’m not a man I present as a woman so I’m subjected to an oppressive environment. I am wary at people who are unwilling to learn who are afraid of stepping outside the box ANY box and hold themselves so tight they can barely move. I see Harry as somebody who moves freely.

I could make an entire essay on Harry and the concept of heteronormativity but I’m going to stick with toeing the line on gender for right now but I do believe a lot can be said for cis heterosexuality and attending a harry styles concert. It felt a bit like a pride parade which was interesting how somebody who essentially had for years this show of heterosexuality somehow ended up being followed by lesbians and bisexual women as well as many gay and trans men fans. 

Well it’s not that hard to see. Harry’s concerts are more celebrations of being yourself and I’ve never seen Harry ever discourage that or shy away from defending his fans to him we are a group of strong men and women and girls are the future. Once again bringing the concept back to the gender binary, girls can do anything despite being told they are only good at some things.

I don’t think this vision of Harry is a product of fan pressure. I think Harry genuinely supports things like LGBT rights and I think he believes in it just as much as we do I can’t ever imagine him not doing so. He made pride merch and wasn’t getting a cent of it because it was all donated to an LGBT charity to benefit youth in schools. If we’re talking in the ways in which Harry explores gender the number 1 community for that has always been the LGBT community historically we tend to fuck around with the concept of gender so it’s not surprise to me that’s a community Harry advocates for. 

Harry’s solo career from the beginning has been about reinventing masculinity. He wore a women’s suit for his album photoshoot and bathed in flowers and pink lemonade for his album cover and though his album had some rock n roll tropes he’s never shied away from talking about women’s rights or lgbt rights. And even within One Direction Harry never felt like just another man to me. He’s somebody special. Not afraid of vulnerability, not afraid of being called gay, not afraid of expressing who he is thru clothing. 

To me it’s always felt like Harry wanted people to know this is who I am you can take me or leave me. Harry I feel is somebody willing to take risks putting himself in a dress in a booklet as tour merch. Saying we’re all a little bit gay on tour. Like moths to a flame outsiders are drawn to him at least I was. 

To me Harry Styles is carving out a place for himself in a world that can be very rigid. Harry isn’t following anybody’s path but his own setting out to reinvent rock n roll and always and forever being a bit softer than most. It’s an admirable trait in a world that has become quite scary as of late. 

[aja154ever]

GRANRODEO LIVE 2017 G12 ROCK☆SHOW Pierrot Carnival - 09/23/2017

Set List

Pierrot Dancin’

恋は mirage

Punky Funky Love

Glorious days

Fake lover’s true heart

ナミダバナ 

FAT SHAPER

チキン・ヒーロー

君に one way love

Can Do

move on! イバラミチ

Y.W.F.

エンドレスサマー

少年の果て

CRACK STAR FLASH

silence

カナリヤ

modern strange cowboy

We wanna R&R SHOW

Infinite Love

Go For It!

UNDER THE SKY

G12 AAAAAAHHHHHHH. It’s my first time to attend the G series. I was so excited as I saw this as a chance to hear more GR songs live outside the PieDan album, but somehow the set list turned out to be very similar to the PieDan tour. But it’s okay, I'm not really complaining. And I was just so happy to see that many people gather for the love of GRANRODEO. Long post under the cut!

Honestly, I didn’t think I can get all pumped up because I was far on the 2F and GR live shows are best enjoyed in small, intimate places like Zepp. But the seats actually gave me more space to move and groove, and the sight and energy of the people around me convinced me to be free and lose myself.

Pierrot Dancin’ - Okay I died from the acapella intro. That’s it. No words.

恋は mirage - Really good considering it’s the first (well second ‘cause it’s the second day) time Kiiyan sings this live

Glorious days - The bridge part. OMG what is it in Budokan’s sound system that makes Kiiyan’s voice sound so better argh. Anyway messed up lyrics in the last part, but then okay, it can pass as intended miss

チキン・ヒーロー - Uwaaaa. Who expected this?? I admit that I didn’t like this song compared to other GR songs but now hearing it live, just WOW. It’s impossible not to enjoy this.

君に one way love - OMG I didn’t expect this would make the list so I was just so feeling blissful waving my hands. Really one of my favorite GR songs. Got the lyrics wrong in the last part again and I shouldn’t be reporting about this anymore because that’s just normal for the lyrics writer himself, Kishow

move on! イバラミチ - My 3rd time to hear this live. So far, the best performance out of the three.

In Y.W.F.’s last “boku wa yoi ko”, e-zuka comes to pat Kiiyan on his head. SO PRECIOUS!!

エンドレスサマー - Best production performance for the night, with the dancers and effects *slow clap*

CRACK STAR FLASH - silence - カナリヤ - modern strange cowboy - We wanna R&R SHOW - Classic exhausting line-up. You’ll really know the difference when Kiiyan sings their older songs vs the latest ones. Well it’s basically the years of knowing those songs so he really performs them way better than the new ones. And this is coming from me who has heard him sing PieDan songs live for 3-5 times than classic songs I heard him sing once or twice.

ナミダバナ, silence, We wanna R&R SHOW - long stretch part (I still don’t know what to call it) but his voice, his skills, his everything, *me gets down on one knee, presents a small black box* Marry me, Kiiyan. Now.

Infinite Love -  AAAAAHHHHH. This was the most unexpected song for me. I was so happy!! I got into tears as my heart overflowed of infinite love for GR.

Go For It! - My first time to participate in IGPX!!!

UNDER THE SKY - Kiiyan why did you have to end this happy night with a sad, slow song??? Argh. I wanted a third encore please.

MC and Other Points

I think there was little talk than in the PieDan live.

G12 was broadcasted live and e-zuka-san said that they were given a 4-hour time slot, so in the first MC part he joked, “From now, we’ll go talk for one hour!” Then in the IGPX part, he said that they’ll be doing it for 30 minutes!

Shin-kun didn’t use a mic at first. He went on to shout his greetings, “Konnichiwa!” Oh this kid is so adorable ^.^

Shin-kun’s parents came to watch him live.

When Takita-san turned the television on the night before, it was just in time for the broadcast of the PieDan live. Apparently, he fell asleep on the 月に抱かれて眠りたい part.

e-zuka-san shares that the music for BSD movie’s theme song is close to getting done. Kiiyan worried about writing the lyrics. e-zuka-san said that he was just lying; he’ll cut the encore short and make the song immediately!

e-zuka-san was so nervous as he was playing the piano in the We wanna R&R SHOW intro. Worse, he got distracted by Kiiyan’s sudden ‘insert hum’ that he thought he forgot the next notes. “Don’t go putting in fakes suddenly! You didn’t do that yesterday! My mind got lost!” He blamed Kiiyan for getting too hyped because of the live broadcast.

Kiiyan loved how the crowd called for encore too soon that they haven’t even gone down the stairs yet. He even imitated how the RB first shouted the GRAN part as he got amazed, “You can make such voice?” He was laughing because seriously, the GRAN shout sounded really crazy, in a good way. Thanks RB!

Kiiyan tried to throw his towel on the 1st floor seats but it failed to reach. Lol. He dramatically got down on his knees as the towel just fell on the ground. Ow cute Kiiyan, there, there. But yeah, that was such a waste :(

e-zuka-san played the fool in throwing his wristband to the crowd as it ‘accidentally’ fell behind him several times. Shin-kun ended up getting the wristband.

And lastly, the HUG awwwww T.T

Photos/Posts from Official Accounts:

More photos on GRANRODEO’s official Facebook page

What more can I say? This is my 6th GR event this year and probably the last? So there’s that loneliness in my heart as I cherished every G12 moment. G7 will be in Okinawa so I can’t go T.T I just have to haunt Kiiyan in other events then.

It just makes me reflect on how I got dragged into this paradise. I first learned about this Taniyama Kishou seiyuu when I first heard his singing voice in UtaPri. I was just starting to get into the seiyuu world at that time, and I didn’t really notice him as Natsuki. But when I heard his beautiful singing voice, I immediately searched about the seiyuu. I got to watch him on Maji Love Live (DVD) and I was convinced that this man has the best singing voice I’ve ever heard. I got into other seiyuu anyway, and it was months after again when I got to watch him perform as GRANRODEO’s Kishow in the KuroBas event (DVD). It was so lively and looked so fun, and there’s something about his performance that draws you in. I started learning the KuroBas songs. Yet I was still into other seiyuu at that time lol. Honestly, I admit that I’m not much of a fan of Kiiyan as a seiyuu. Simply because I like the others’ voice more and then there’s the fact that he doesn’t get to play major anime roles often.

But then, but then. OMG. I don’t why, how, what, but Bungou Stray Dogs came crashing into my life and I fell in love with the most vicious duo in Yokohama, Double Black. Let it be known that I actually decided to watch BSD because of the seiyuu in it but putting that aside, I then learned to love the story and the characters so much. But the Mamo-Kiiyan combi is just too much for me to take in esp after watching their Uemura tanteisha episode. And Nakahara Chuuya. *takes a deep breath* Of all the characters I’ve watched Kiiyan play, Chuuya came to be an easy favorite even if he only appeared in very few episodes. And I said I wasn’t into Kiiyan’s seiyuu voice but his Chuuya voice AAAAAHHHHH, which is actually close to his real voice AAAAAHHHHH

And while I was starting to drown in the BSD fandom, it was just in time for GRANRODEO’s new album release: Pierrot Dancin’. You know, I’m a poor being and I don’t really buy things for myself like goods, but I just really wanted to buy the new album because I wanted to support Kiiyan. And I’m glad I did.

Then the AniUta app got released and it was such a blessing because all GR songs were there so just in a few months, I learned most of their songs in their 12-year long career. Now I’m proud of myself. *wipes corner of my eyes*

Taniyama Kishou, as seiyuu and GR, has been saving me from my depression this year. Our love story sure took some time to develop, but now I just feel so much admiration, love, and gratitude towards this person. As sappy and crappy as it may sound, but Kiiyan became the most important person to me this year.

OMG this went on longer and more dramatic than expected but I just love Kiiyan, my Darlin, my BIG SUN. I’ll do my best to keep seeing you. Cheers to more years to spend together.  ♪＼(*＾▽ ＾*)／＼(*＾▽ ＾*)／

[andryushas]

Great Comet Things

I got to see Great Comet on Sunday and it was absolutely amazing. The whole cast was amazing and the show is so artistic and surreal. Below is a bunch of things I noticed that were either very cool, unexpected or both. Warning, it’s very very long:

ACT I

The show doesn't actually start with Pierre singing. He comes out with his accordion then you hear Natasha yelp a really sad "No!" then run on stage with Andrei at her heals. They have a moment, and she looks really sad and he looks Very in Love and takes a necklace off his neck and puts it on her. She grasps at it and he runs out the door behind Pierre, representing the war

Prologue is actually really funny. Like it's sort of funny on the recording but the way people move and act w their faces makes it very comic. 

Marya is a little terrifying. She plays "strict yet Kind" out to the audience like, "yes, I'm KiNd!!! Believe me, That's an order!!"

Anatole is actually really funny. I had totally been imagining him as this impossibly smooth figure and He Isn't. Like yes, he's very smooth at times but he is also totally used for comedy sometimes and is severely melodramatic. 

Oak's Pierre is really dimensional. He's very subdued and gentle but there's also a roughness to his voice when he gets really disgusted in himself or in the world and he moves really smoothly and naturally between Pierre's gruffer, darker side, and the cute awkward warmness which he also does wonderfully.

Denée's Natasha reads really well as this young girl who has always been loved and appreciated and is now really struggling for the first time with her happiness and she's really bold and a little self absorbed and this really brings out the changes which I will get back to later

Courtney Bassett was wonderful as Mary!! She's plays her really sweet and shy but also clashes really well w Natasha. 

Private and Intimate is really intense but can also get very funny. Nicholas Belton is hilarious but his Bolkonsky has a lot to him I guess? He moves really slowly and he does the fragile thing really well for a dude who is like Bolting down the aisles as Andrei. I'm very scared of old prince Bolkonsky. 

The Lighting in No One Else  oh my go d. The song is so beautiful but the visuals. The falling snow. It's heartrending. Ahhhh.

Marya Dmitrievna is the best ever. I love her. 

The Opera is Funky as hell. Paul Pinto is a firecracker. What a cool dude.

I didn't expect Anatole to actually get that excited about Natasha. I sort of read it as pure manipulation (it's still manipulative don't get me wrong) but he really does adore her. He really cares about whether or not she likes him and he fawns over her.

The Duel is intense as fuck. Amber Gray walked passed me at some point (i can't remember if it was during the duel or not but) she is a goddess, damn it. I love her.

Nick Choksi plays the sociopathic Dolokhov you get in the book better in person than I would've guessed 

Pierre does this thing when he gets shot where he ducks and stays ducking for a long time bc he thinks he's a dead man and there's a long silence.  And then he looks up like “oh!” and Oak made the cutest face ever when he realized he won the duel.

Ok I didn't like dust and ashes when I heard it on the soundtrack and saw it at the Tony's but the way Oak does it is an absolute show stopper. It blew me away. I love it. It's now one of my favorite songs in the show. Pierre is sitting in his Hole or whatever. The sad hole. And he just. Opens himself up and it's great. There was at least a full minute of applause for him. 

SUUUUUNDAY MORNING TIME FOR CHURCH

I love sunday morning but i do miss Sonya’s part from the off broadway soundtrack

When Helene comes in during Charming, Natasha is dressed in nothing but her corset  and a tiny little underskirt and it makes her so vulnerable and frightened its an interesting dynamic. Amber Gray is a powerhouse of an actress and a singer and I love her. She has the coolest cloak too.

There’s this thing in Charming where Helene rips Natasha’s necklace from Andrei off and Natasha looks so guilty and upset about it. It really breaks the excitement from the yay, dresses part. She tosses it into Pierre’s depression hole and it landed in his book. Pierre picked it up and looked hilariously confused.

The ball is at least 80% same sex couples which was pretty cool. The ending is beautiful but it gets really chilling as the act draws to a close.

ACT II

Letters was bomb af. I’m gonna note again that I love Okieriete Onaodowan. After saying that he wrote the letter, Dolokhov crouches really malevolently watching what he orchestrated unfolds.

When they pass the love letter to Natasha, the audience has to pass it across the aisle but the girl didn’t know what to do when it got to the end, so Denee leaned really desperately with her arm reached out waving sweetly and asking for the letter until she got it

INGRID MICHAELSON IS A REALLY AMAZING ACTRESS AND SHE WRECKED ME

Preparations is a bop. Nick Choksi is a gift.

There’s a bit at the beginning where Anatole is carrying a big ol bag and he looks like he plans to walk up the stairs with it but then WHOOPS ANDREI IS SITTING ON SAID STAIRS. Anatole does absolutely nothing in acknowledging this- he simply sees he’ll need to take the other stairs and walk away.

I LOVE PAUL PINTO OK

There’s that one post about struggling to keep your sleeves rolled being gay culture and...Lucas Steele took a really long time to get his sleeves rolled up. I snorted.

I have very few words to describe the next few songs so i’ll sorta skip forward a little and just...trust me when I say they’re amazing

Seeing Pierre kick Anatole’s bitch ass is a ton of fun but its much less fun the way its staged because thats when natasha poisons herself and its painful

Natasha Very Ill was so tense and painful

One of the nice things Natasha sings about Andrei in act one becomes a letter to him which we see him open and read. He looks kind of lovestruck and then scared and he tucks the letter away, running off with the ribbon still in his hand. He comes on with this ribbon in his hand a bunch of times, and once, when he looks really beat up and scared, he has the ribbon tied around his gun. The last time he brings this ribbon on stage is in Pierre and Andrey, where its been returned around the parcel of Natasha’s letters.

GOD I love Nicholas Belton’ Andrei. There’s so much pain he’s trying to hide and it’s just being pressed down and hardening into rage. He’s really rough and a bit frightening but its so clearly from a place of sadness. His “No, I am well,” is almost pitifully unconvincing. The scene is so heavy. I could go on about this song forever. He does something on “never speak of that again” where he lashes out and sort of throws his hand out at Pierre’s chest and Pierre looks genuinely frightened by him. He’s really sympathetic even though he’s so cold. In three minutes he captures SO much of Andrei Bolkonsky

In Pierre and Natasha, Denee is completely transformed. She holds the railing and sways likes hse’s falling and walks like each step is over broken glass. Seeing her liveliness shatter is so utterly tragic. She’s brilliant.

Oak’s Pierre is so kind and good hearted. He was really crying during Pierre and Natasha, and it was so full of love. When he did the confession, he worked up so much courage to say it, and he was still sniffling from crying and there was such love in his voice that it richened and softened beautifully. It was so tender and beautiful.

THE ENSEMBLE SINGING IN THE FINALE. Their voices weave a whole sky of stars. Pierre coming to an understanding is illuminated by their soft moonlit voices. The whole moment is as clear as crystal and it is a perfectly executed awakening. It felt deeper and realer than I’d ever imagined.

I was crying a lot

Bonus: Stagedoor

Josh Canfield and Nicholas Belton came out first. I was very awkward but they were both Darlings. Josh photobombed my picture with nicholas belton and nicholas belton was like “oh looks like you’ve got a photobomber” and somehow I didn’t notice until like an hour later

A bunch of really cool ensemble members came out

Nick Choksi came over and he was still wearing his very heavy eyeliner. Someone said “you’re rocking the guyliner” and he looked quite pleased. I told him preparations is like the best song and he was like “hell yeah”

My friend (@levizoe​) told Paul Pinto that his performance was really moving. He thought this was a reference to the show as a whole but I knew. I knew this was about him, Balaga, specifically

Everyone lost it when Oak came out. He had a Harry Potter t-shirt on and was carrying a skateboard. What a cool dude. He’s huge but not as tall as I anticipated. so many muscles. I gave him some are and he was like “Oh this is pretty cool.” then he looked at it and called it kind of amazing and I died. Then he went inside to put it away and all the people who he didn’t get to yet were giving me some serious side eye i felt bad (he came back tho ofc)

Ingrid Michaelson has very pretty eyes and is very nice. She looked so tired tho i felt bad.

IN CONCLUSION I AM DEAD. Sorry for the length of this post. Its such an amazing show. I love them all so much.

[aliciavspinnet]

i was tagged by @owvlery (thank yeee)(for this but also i am enjoying ur anon hour with the coffee theme cause lol)  >tagging @fjrebolt @mollyprewett @nexvilles @artemxis @fleurrdelacour @jilys  @jamespottuh @dementvr and anyone else who would like to complete these funky questions (tag me)(so i can intrude on ur personal lives plz) 🐝rules: complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. when you’re finished, tag people to do this survey. have fun and enjoy! 1: are you named after someone? nopity nope  2: when was the last time you cried? erm i suddenly can’t remember anything in life (maybe within the last week)(like i saw at least one movie i am fairly certain i cried in)  3: do you like your handwriting? ya (altho i get annoyed when trying to do artsy stuff sometimes cause i tend to slope up or down when there r no lines to draw on)(that’s not really handwriting tho more like my ability to write in a straight line idk)  4: what is your favourite lunch meat? this is a weird question – chicken? is this meant to be for in a sandwich? or just meat u like for lunch? (all i can think of is how i hate most meat people put in sandwiches so idk) (i’m probably gonna be a vegetarian some day lol)(even tho that’s a stupid idea cause i’m low on iron)(idk stay tuned)  5: do you have kids? hahahahahhaaa nope i am still a kid (tho not legally)(cries)(i have had to fill out too many forms recently)(i don’t like being responsible someone halp)  6: if you were another person, would you be friends with you? yes i’m freaking amazing (lol idk it might get boring if we were like clones cause we’d have exactly the same ideas) (or would that be interesting) (who the frick knows?)  7: do you use sarcasm? lol m8 who do u think i am? ofc 

8: do you still have your tonsils? yeappo 9: would you bungee jump? i like the idea of thrills like i am an adventurer and thrill seeker but heights r a nono for me like i struggle going up the sky tower and stuff so i probably wouldn’t be able to get to the platform but i feel like it’d be a sick life experience tho  10: what is your favourite kind of cereal? there is this stuff called berry berry nice and i loved it as a child and still love it (also weet bix is a must have in the pantry also)  11: do you untie your shoes when you take them off? i do atm i go thro stages (i am a capable human rn)   12: do you think you’re a strong person? i am weak but not weak willed (altho my mind is a sieve) (but like i am strong in character i reckon) (just don’t ask me to lift heavy objects) (plz) (my arms will snap) 13: what is your favourite ice cream flavour? cookies n cream can take my soul (but also with rly fancy ice cream u gotta love like mango sorbets and stuff)  14: what is the first thing you notice about people? um? i’ll get back to u i sorta don’t really know – i mean i guess their general appearance if i meet them in person ??  16: what is the least favourite physical thing you like about yourself? my crappy skin can go screw itself ty  17: what colour pants and shoes are you wearing now? lol i just woke up i have no pants or shoes on (funny story i just went into the kitchen to get an apricot (yum) and then there was a random man in our garden (i think he is here to fix the pool filter) and he looked like he was gonna try and come in and talk to someone about our filter but i didn’t want to interact with him pantless so i ran past the window cause also if he saw me he’d expect interaction)  19: what are you listening to right now? melanie martinez is rocking my new stereo (or boombox)(lol i love that word)  20: if you were a crayon, what colour would you be? i don’t care about the colour but i want a pretentious name (like idk mermaid mania but it’s just a nice blue for the sea)(okay i looked up crayon colour names and i wanna be Permanent Geranium Lake)(it’s red)(wtf)  21: favourite smell? ahhh help!! how do i chose (i’m just gonna list off a few) cinnamon, lavender, the sea, vanilla,  22: who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? my mum’s friend who answered the phone when my mum was driving and it was a very awkward conversation (and i still brought a crappy plate holder because of it)(whyyy)  23: favourite sport to watch? waterpolo probs cause i used to play and i love it  24: hair color? like a light brown ? (i wanna dye it pink)(like bright pink)(it could look terrible but i sorta wanna do it)  25: eye colour? like brown but also could be hazel cause there is a little green tint sometimes  26: do you wear contacts? when i rly need to see and i wanna swim or soemthing (but i have to be desperate)(they suck the life outta my eyes and general being)  27: favourite food to eat? apple crumble is my go to for this question cause it’s my true love  28: scary movies or comedy? quality of movie not genre is what i judge by (also depends what mood i’m in)(but i’m up for both)  29: last movie you watched? la la land (wozah)  30: what colour of shirt are you wearing? urm it’s a alice through the looking glass shirt (i still haven’t seen the movie)(but i love the books)(and someone brought it for me)(and it’s the perfect pajama top) it’s white but there is blue on it too

31: summer or winter? gimme that long summer break with the beach and the sun !! (it’s officially summer now guys btw)(cause the shape of my bikini has been completely seared onto my body)(whoops: how not to be sunsafe with kate)  32: hugs or kisses? gimme them hugs plz  33: what book are you currently reading? too many books i h8 myself  34: who do you miss right now? my best friend has been away (and away from wifi) for a bit and i miss talking to her  35: what is on your mouse pad? lol (no mousepad sry kiddos)  36: what is the last tv program you watched? friends ? maybe ? i think i watched an episode when my friend came over recently  37: what is the best sound? woww this is harddd i love weird laughs honestly everyone laugh is so so precious also i love the sounds of nature and summer and the beach (also music is a quality sound)  38: rolling stones or the beatles? aghjsdk okay well i love both but the beatles and i have a longer history so i’m gonna have to choose the good ol sargent pepper’s lonely heart’s club band  39: what is the furthest you have ever traveled? aussie (it’s gonna be a shook to the system when i have to be on a plane any longer than 3 hours)  40: do you have a special talent? i won the last catch a marshmellow in ur mouth competition against my siblings? and i am the master of do everything the last minute (idk)(i’m pretty good at reading people i guess?)  41: where were you born? haha here (nz)(oh and let’s pretend it wasn’t hamilton)

[thehollywood360]

From July 7th – 9th, The 2017 San Diego Smooth Jazz Festival took place at the Embarcadero Marina Park North.  The host this year was the supercharged, sharply dressed, Brian Culbertson.  His lively antics, outgoing personality and welcoming warmth created the perfect atmosphere for the fun-filled weekend.

The two-day event featured some of the best smooth jazz artists touring the country while also offering a variety of delicious cuisine, vendor booths, and a spectacular scenic venue that overlooked the harbor.  The Hollywood 360 covered the shows and the red carpet on Saturday and Sunday.   I went Facebook live, interviewing the L.A. Collective, Brian Culbertson, Curtis Brooks, Nick Colionne, and Michael Franks.  Keiko Matsui and Peter White also popped in to say hello.

Saturday’s Performers

Brian Culbertson

Brain Culbertson mesmerized the audience on Saturday night with his spellbinding vamping antics which were backed up by a seething hot outpouring of Culbertson’s soulful music. From the moment this musician hit the stage his kinetic passionate energy vibrated like a lightning storm…first riling up the audience with his enthusiastic intro, then belting out some bopping lyrics, then ripping up the keys, then grabbing the trombone and blowing with the sax and trumpet player. “Funk” is the name of his album, “Funk” is the name of his traveling tour, and “Funk” is what Brain Culberston emanates from head to toe –from the jaunty blonde licks hairstyle to his razzle dazzle fire engine red jacket, to his plucky dance steps.

For the last year or so Brain Culbertson has been on the road promoting his “Funk” tour but he’s been doing it the old fashioned way – covering the country in a tour bus. He told me in my Facebook Live interview that he thoroughly enjoys the close camaraderie that the band shares traveling this way. It is very apparent that Brain and his super tight group have established a formidable bond observing their stellar performance that night. As Culbertson hugged his keyboard then played it backward with complete expertise…he showed us all the many facets of a true Funk Master.

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BTW, Brian Culbertson announced he will be releasing a romantic solo album on Valentine’s Day, 2018.

  The L.A. Collective

The L.A. Collective had a synergetic chemistry that detonated the stage as they began the afternoon of music at The San Diego Smooth Jazz Festival. Featuring guest artist, Keith Mitchell McKelley on sax, the band consisted of, Adam Hawley/guitar, Tony Moore/drums, Darryl Williams Page II, bass and Greg Manning, keys. The L.A. Collective launched themselves originally as a backup band on the 2014 Dave Koz Cruise to Alaska. They continued to work together throughout the years solidifying and evolving their unique magnetic sound. Each musician has also carved out very successful individual touring and recording careers.

The L.A. Collective puts out a mixture of jazz, funk, Latin, and soul. Today was no exception. We heard Keith Mitchell McKelley blow his wild potent licks on the sax that added weight to each song. Adam Hawley‘s furious dexterous strumming and picking galvanized the compositions and sent a jolt of playful imagination. There’s nothing like the turbo thumping of those bass strings by Darryl Williams Page II who cracked open the funky beat.  Greg Manning‘s finesse on the keys caressed the melodies with ingenious complexity. Lastly, Tony Moore pummeled the drums skyrocketing the LA Collective into the stratosphere of sizzling rhythm.

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They featured songs from each musician’s body of work like “Sugar & Spice” (Greg Manning) and “Goodbye” by Darryl Williams Page II. The LA Collective was the perfect way to start off a superb day of music at The San Diego Smooth Jazz Festival.

  Nick Colionne

Nick Colionne purred, pranced, partied, and pulsated with wild abandon on the guitar while looking sizzling suave decked out in pink, as he performed at The San Diego Smooth Jazz Festival. Since 2000 he has toured U.S. and European festivals and has had a string of successful albums which contributed to his glowing reputation in the urban jazz music world.

When Nick Colionne crooned in his mellifluous, belly deep vocals, “A Rainy Night in Georgia,” the heavens parted … and we all received the lush, romantic pouring down raindrops of his gorgeous vocal talent. In the complete opposite direction, Colionne ripped up the guitar strings with freaky fast licks that were intoxicating and thrilling. Getting everyone in a party mood, Nick Colionne bounced off the stage and ventured into the crowd, inciting the flame of fun. He blasted the lyrics, “There’s a party going on,” over and over and the audience at the festival joined in.

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With his hand on his hips, strutting his long legs in a down home bluesy way, Nick Colionne showed us all what a superb entertainer he truly is.

   EPK (Euge Groove, Peter White, Keiko Matsui)

Keiko Matsui, Euge Groove, and Peter White performed together at The San Diego Smooth Jazz Festival highlighting each other’s fabulous music. This magical tapestry of sound delighted the crowd. The three musicians frolicked freely – Keiko adding her powerful chops on keys, Peter White twisted and turned rocking out on his white guitar, and Euge Groove thundered in solid form on the sax.

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There were fun times for everyone listening.

  Michael Franks

Michael Franks was destined to be a songwriter even though he tried to venture down the road of academia to display his poetic writing skills. Franks has presented the Jazz/Pop Music world with a multitude of hit songs that are suffused with clever lyrics and capricious images, (Popsicle Toes being one of my favorites.) which are also underlined by cool, hip, swinging jazz compositions. He tells a story with metaphors, intelligence, and an intimacy that draws one in through his unique and lovely articulation of the song.

I found myself singing the familiar lyrics to “Rendezvous in Reno,” “The Lady Wants to Know,” and of course, “Popsicle Toes.” I captured a precious moment on Facebook Live with Michael Franks as I posed the question to him of how he wrote such interesting lyrics to his songs. He replied, “I studied a lot of poetry.”

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We all have been the beneficiaries of that brilliant study… who else can write – She never cooks the same… my baby cooks eggplant 19 different ways… Eggplant is her game. Love it!

Sunday Performers

Curtis Brooks

Curtis Brooks, a steaming hot sax player is only in his early twenties; however, he has sidelined for LA Collective, Peter White, Gerald Albright, Brian Simpson, and many others. Today he headlined a seven piece band featuring Monty Seward on vocals. Curtis Brooks told me in our Facebook Live interview that he wants to bring the sound of smooth jazz to the listening ears of his generation of young people. So he’s teamed up with a record producer … Irvin Pope who’s worked with Jay-Z and Kanye West. “I want to bring instrumental music to my generation because I know for a fact, they don’t listen to jazz,” he said. When asked about his style of playing, Curtis replied, “I bring everything from the heart and the audience feels the connection.” Lastly, who are some of his sax influences? “Some of my sax influences are Gerald Albright, Sonny Rollins, John Coltrane…” Curtis Brooks and his seven-piece band definitely brought their music home to this generation of listeners at the San Diego Smooth Jazz Festival.

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I loved watching his passionate playing as he immersed his entire being into delivering his unique sound.

  Eric Darius

Eric Darius blew riff after riff of his luscious music as he performed the hour set at The San Diego Smooth Jazz Festival. The audience responded enthusiastically to Darius’s polished repertoire of songs. He presented his new single, “Breaking Through,” which will surely be another hit instrumental tune for this artist. Eric Darius is a top notch smooth jazz artist that has toured worldwide since his teens; he lent a sophisticated and energetic feel to a fabulous Sunday afternoon of music.

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Sunday was topped off with three hyperbolic acts that scream star power in the Smooth Jazz genre: Gerald Albright & Jonathan Butler, Rick Braun, Richard Elliot & Norman Brown, and Boney James.

  Gerald Albright & Jonathan Butler

Photo Credit: Jack Cohen

Gerald Albright told me in a previous interview, “I have developed my own sound over the years.  That makes me old school, that makes me contemporary, that gives the flavor of some of the R&B along with the jazz improvisation as well.  That’s what I feel comfortable with.”  He put together an impressive set of music that afternoon by stupefying the audience with his vast range of blowing from the lowest register to the highest.  Jonathan Butler, always the consummate soulful singer inspired the audience with his gospel vocals. Richard Elliot, Rick Braun & Norman Brown – West Coast Jam

These three powerhouses…  with Richard Elliot on sax, Rick Braun on trumpet and Norman Brown on guitar blasted the crowd with their pulsating and dynamic playing.

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All these artists have had stellar careers in the smooth jazz world and it was a rare treat for everyone to experience their masterful mixture of chops that was termed the West Coast Jam…  major hip and cool chemistry between all three.

  Boney James

Boney James, four-time Grammy nominated sax player, ended the San Diego Smooth Jazz Festival with a sterling set of his best songs.  His melodic fusion of jazz and R&B enveloped the crowd.  The audience partied until the very last note was played.

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    Monty Seward

  Monty Seward Entertainment Consultant kicked off Saturday at The San Diego Smooth Jazz Festival, July 8th. He put the audience in the right frame of mind by first letting loose with a spunky and funky instrumental number; then displaying his fine-tuned falsetto vocals by rendering his own version of Stevie Wonder’s song, “If You Really Love Me.”Tony Moore, Darryl Williams Page II, and Keith Mitchell McKelley lent their sharp playings skills as they were part of his backup band.

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Rainbow Promotions (who also put on the Long Beach Jazz Festival) had partnered with Kathy and Willie Payne to put on this fabulous weekend of smooth jazz.  They wrote in the brochure, “We are thrilled to be back in beautiful San Diego after a 12-year hiatus and we are so pleased to have as our partners, local business owners, Kathy and Willie Payne of Payne Pest Management.”

“We hope you enjoy to the max the full festival experience!”

The San Diego Smooth Jazz Festival definitely delivered a superlative celebration – hearing the finest music at a gorgeous venue.  It was the full festival experience.

Sponsors for the San Diego Smooth Jazz Festival were:

Payne Pest Management Inc.

Rainbow Promotions, LLC

Benoit Entertainment Group, LLC

Union Bank

Sycuan Casino

Stella Artois

Wilson Creek Winery

  Radio Partners

Magic 92.5

KIFM 98.1

IHeart Media Group

The Wave 94.7

For more information on the San Diego Smooth Jazz Festival or The Long Beach Jazz Festival (August 11th -13th) go to:

www.rainbowpromotions.com

For more information on Payne Pest Control go to:

www.paynepestmgmt.com

Photo Credit: Sheryl Aronson ( Unless otherwise noted)

The 2017 San Diego Smooth Jazz Festival From July 7th – 9th, The 2017 San Diego Smooth Jazz Festival took place at the Embarcadero Marina Park North. 

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs: 4.8.2017, 4.7.2007

the songs that debuted on the billboard chart this week and ten years ago this week.

4.7.2007

46) "Everything," Michael Buble

So, I'm not a smoker, right? Never have been, never will be. But there are times, y'know, when I'll just be sitting at home, and I'll think, "Man. I could really go for a cigarette!" I have neighbors who smoke pretty intensely, and sometimes I'll catch a whiff of that cigarette smell, and by golly, that's a sense memory trigger for me, brings me right on back to childhood, those summer nights driving home from bell choir practice, playing the alphabet game with my sisters while Mom took in a Marlboro Light. The scent and the memory hits, and gosh-darn, a cigarette sounds really good! And... then I'll catch that second whiff? And I'll be reminded, oh yeah, fuck that. I don't need something that gross in my life. This is what Michael Buble is to me, is a cigarette. I think about crooners, and I think, yeah, soothing voice, classy love songs, probably wearing a suit. Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, yeah. Yeah a crooner in 2017 sounds nice. But then I hear a Michael Buble song, and I'm reminded, oh dear. Oh, no, I never wanted this, I just liked the idea of this, all those old dudes beat their wives I’m pretty sure, the reality is awful!

67) "Wait for You," Elliott Yamin

This is significantly less funky than "Movin' On." This was the first real single, right? That's kind of dumb. We could have been doing so much more with Elliott Yamin than giving him this ballad and saying "make this more than it is!" And he does, the only reason this song hits is dude's voice, but what a disappointing use of this voice! "Movin' On" was such a tasty jam, but you're telling me the vision of Elliott Yamin you wanted to share with the world was "more talented Clay Aiken?" FOH. There's a version of Elliott Yamin's career where he gets to jam out for a few years, THEN he takes a residency in Vegas and only releases songs like this. Instead, we get the darkest timeline, Yamin releasing one ballad and then releasing several albums in Japan only. "Katy" is a dope track only Japan gets to buy! How? How did this get screwed up so bad!

72) "Lost in This Moment," Big & Rich

here's a fun and easy way to improve this song: make it about literally any other fucking moment in the relationship than the one where you are codifying your love in the eyes of the law and your god. literally, any other one. like that's what makes "cupid's chokehold" so great, is the little moments that the dude recounts. it's not just the sunrise in her eyes, y'know? she's making pancakes. she calls you and the ringtone you have for her plays. you're talking on the phone, and you look at the clock and realize it's been three hours. he draws a unique relationship with these mundane moments that make him step back and say "wow," and it reinforces how excited he is to be in that relationship. this is stating the obvious. "ah geez, person i'm literally getting married to right now, i sure love you." great. thanks. thanks for sharing. it would've sure sucked if you didn't.

83) "Tell Me 'Bout It," Joss Stone

So right from the go, I'ma show you this Stone, and I'ma make sure you really want me to try to squeeze blood from it. You sure? It's a reasonably funky Stone, perfectly acceptable, and I don't mind its presence in my life, but I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna be able to squeeze any blood from it. I can give it my best if you desire! I'ma tell you right now, I'm doubtful I can do much with it.

95) "Who Knew," Pink

Another song that is more or less fine! Pink's great. This is probably the 14th-best Pink song. She gives it her all, and by gum is Pink's B-game better than almost anyone else's A-game, but you see I have, like, this point to prove with Jordan Pruitt? I'm not sure what that point is, but I'd very much like to make it. Ah, but then, there are optics to consider. Because if "Who Knew" isn't the one who ends the out-of-nowhere miracle run of Jordan Pruitt, it would almost certainly be Breaking Benjamin. "Breath" is a song which drops next week, it's a song I've been loving for ten years, and it would be impossible for me to justify keeping a song I've been loving for so long out of the Top 20. But "Breath" is also kinda self-serious and unfun, it's not a "cool" song to like, and it would be cruel to bounce Jordan Pruitt because this white boy can't help but love some melodic hard rock. It’s also gonna be shitty to bump Pink, but at least Pink has, like, another song in the Top 20, and also a full-ass career of hits. /sighs/ The dream is over. Again: I’m not sure what dream, but it’s over.

97) "Moments," Emerson Drive

yeah okay great. great. way to be humans of new york in song form. "homeless people have stories!" well fuck me then, i thought that homeless dude just went outside one day and didn't stop. i've been so naive.

The top 20, now with no teens trying to survive life as an outcast: 20) "Who Knew," by Pink (4.7.2007) 19) "Like a Boy," by Ciara (3.17.2007) 18) "Grace Kelly," by MIKA (2.17.2007) 17) "Get it Shawty," by Lloyd (3.31.2007) 16) "Break 'Em Off," by Paul Wall ft./Lil' KeKe (3.10.2007) 15) "My Oh My," by The Wreckers (1.27.2007) 14) "Mr. Jones," by Mike Jones (1.27.2007) 13) "Settlin'," by Sugarland (2.17.2007) 12) "Movin' On," by Elliott Yamin (3.17.2007) 11) "U + Ur Hand," by P!nk (1.13.2007) 10) "Doe Boy Fresh," by Three 6 Mafia ft./Chamillionaire (1.20.2007) 9) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 8) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 7) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 6) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 5) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 4) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 3) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 2) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 1) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007)

4.8.2017

8) "Passionfruit," by Drake 9) "Portland," by Drake ft./Quavo & Travis Scott 18) "Free Smoke," by Drake 29) "Gyalchester," by Drake 35) "Teenage Fever," by Drake 36) "Sacrifices," by Drake ft./2 Chainz & Young Thug 38) "Blem," by Drake 40) "No Long Talk," by Drake ft./Giggs 45) "Get it Together," by Drake ft./Jorja Smith & Black Coffee 48) "KMT," by Drake ft./Giggs 49) "Jorja Interlude," by Drake 50) "4422," by Drake ft./Sampha 51) "Madiba Riddim," by Drake 54) "Glow," by Drake ft./Kanye West 60) "Do Not Disturb," by Drake 61) "Nothings Into Somethings," by Drake 62) "Ice Melts," by Drake ft./Young Thug 64) "Lose You," by Drake 70) "Since Way Back," by Drake ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR 76) "Skepta Interlude," by Drake 82) "Can't Have Everything," by Drake

...the whole thing. i'm go -- okay, see, and i can't ignore this, because three other dudes had songs make their debut, also i have NOT listened to 1997 yet like that seems too big, but i thought, the whole thing? no way! it's 21 whole songs, minus the one that already debuted! i underestimated how much love people have for drake, and god bless 'em, i'm glad they found something in this cruel and random world they can rely on. this isn't good? this isn't good. drake is still very famous and very sad about everything. it's the dullest fucking topic in the world. like i guess i liked "get it together" alright enough, and of course i thought "ice melts" was dope (young thug elevates things a billion fold with his array of delightful mouth noises), but like i don't care? about any of these songs? and like i don't like that i'm complaining about drake a week after saying i didn't have any complaints about ed sheeran, but if i'm assigning every ed sheeran song a grade and every drake song a grade, they get a C- and a D+, respectively, but 70% is a C- and 69% is a D+. it's pretty much the same, one just looks okayer than the other. i just, i don't care. i can just not care, right? like, i don't hate this, i don't like this, this is something i've listened to for this project which assigns homework. 21 fucking drake songs. this is the last time, right? like, the last time i have to listen to a whole album i don't want to listen to for the sake of listening to every song which debuted on the hot 100 in 2017? fuck, man.

i'm sorry. like i mean i didn't go in expecting to be this bored, i want to like everything, this is the YAS project after all, and i know people had positive things to say about this, like everything i heard about this album said, "Yeah, Drake's fine! This is his best in years!" i thought it could be cool! i wasn't dreading the 80 minutes of drake i'd required myself to take in, but christ, that's a lot of drake. that is entirely too much drake for one sitting, and i, i can't, y'know? i tried, but, it's this.

88) "At My Best," by Machine Gun Kelly ft./Hailee Steinfeld

Well alright, this was surprisingly okay! Not Top 20 material this late in the game, certainly not if "Ice Melts" isn't, I'm not gonna ride too hard for a song about how hard Machine Gun Kelly worked to be the fourth-best white rapper in the game, but if you're the fourth-best white rapper, that usually means you're at least listenable. The hook is structured around the biggest cliche possible in 2017, Hailee Steinfeld sells it well enough. It's a bit over-produced, but it never feels too stuffed to soar. Not bad! Legitimately, just good enough to not be bad! I can see the headlines now: Pop Song Performed Capably, Not Hated by Millions.

97) "Trap Trap Trap," by Rick Ross ft./Young Thug & Wale

Is this the most conventional verse Young Thug has ever had? Like I've never heard Young Thug just rapping for this long a period of time, but I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I've consumed every single Young Thug tape. There's nary a mouth noise to be heard! It is oddly fitting, though, that Young Thug would be at his most traditional on a Rick Ross track, Rick Ross being maybe the most average rapper still going. Like of course Rick Ross would just drop a song called "Trap Trap Trap," we're not expecting serious artistic breakthroughs from Rick Ross, who would expect that, why do you expect dumb things, nah this is kind of a perfect Rick Ross song. It's enjoyable and disposable.

98) "Swalla," by Jason Derulo ft./Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign

BLESS JASON DERULO AND HIS COMMITMENT TO MAKING ABSOLUTELY THE DUMBEST SHIT ON EARTH. No joke, I'm into this. Let's recap what we've been given these last three weeks: 3.25: 10 Ed Sheeran songs 4.1: 3 Nicki Minaj songs (and “Chanel!”) 4.8: 21 Drake songs THIS IS SUCH A TREAT AFTER WHAT WE’VE BEEN THROUGH (”CHANEL” EXCLUDED)! I mean, listen, is Jason Derulo a complete skeezeball? Yes. Could any Jason Derulo song be one tenth as horny and still be several orders of magnitude hornier than any other song on the chart? Absolutely. But this is upbeat and hella stupid and I am mostly into this trash. I mean I'm not 100% down with Jason Derulo offering his cum as refreshment, like hey guy maybe just get her some water, but this song is upbeat and I remember it five minutes after hearing it and it has an outlook on life that isn't, "this is the worst." Jason Derulo is just a ridiculous man who is too into blow-jobs, and goddamnit, I appreciate him.

The current Top 20: 20) "Way Down We Go," by Kaleo (1.14) 19) "Swalla," by Jason Derulo ft./Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign (4.8) 18) "Everyday," by Ariana Grande ft./Future (3.4) 17) "Light," by Big Sean ft./Jeremih (2.25) 16) "Draco," by Future (3.11) 15) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 14) "Good Drank," by 2 Chainz ft./Gucci Mane & Quavo (2.11) 13) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 12) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 11) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 10) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 9) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 8) "Shape of You," by Ed Sheeran (1.28) 7) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 6) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 5) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 4) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 3) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 2) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 1) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) I hate that only 9 of these 11 tracks feature women in some form while there’s even one Jason Derulo song in the Top 20, like why couldn’t i like that marian hill thing more. how did mariah carey release a song this year but i got a fucking big sean track in the top 20. what am i doing here.

Who won?

I mean no one won. I think 2017 somehow ended up with the better offerings. That’s the thing about boring; it’s never great, but it’s never outright terrible, either, and three of 2007′s entrants are complete failures. All the Drake songs were the same boring-ass Drake song that’s ever been, but none of them were “Moments.” It’s not an inspiring win for 2017, but evidently there’s new Iggy Azalea, so it’ll take what it can get as long as it can get it.

Current standings: 2017: 1 2007: 1

[stopreadingthisanddance]

2016 top albums

Here we are, last list of 2016. Top albums of the year with a few honourable mentions. Most of the albums on this list are fairly accessable, if not full on mainstream, so if you haven't listened to them and you're worried they'll be weird, I'll give warning in my short reviews of them. As with my to EPs list, i'll include a link to the full album stream (if i can find one) and one stand out track.

Honourable Mentions:

Do What Thou Wilt. by Ab-Soul was an album I really did not expect to like nearly as much as I did. It's a pretty weird and paranoid album that gives me the impression of Ab-Soul being nearly constantly strung out and panicked about everything, and yet he's got great beat selection and (mostly) strong lyrical prowess. There are a few songs that get a bit preachy, or a bit lost in the rambling mind of a paranoid man, but the hits are high. If you're looking for an interesting hip-hop album check it out. Standout track: Raw (Backwards)

RTJ3 by Run The Jewels would have been higher on this list had it not come out on Christmas. I simply did not have enough time to fully process it as a full piece of music, and thus have nothing truly insightful to say about it. RTJ are gods though so I mean listen to it if you haven't, and if you know about them and haven't listened to it yet WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?! If you haven't heard of Run The Jewels than check this one out, and go back to RTJ 1 & 2 and loop around, because you'll see some real lyrical and production growth. This album gets political, but it's delivered in a way that is awe-inspiring so I can't even get mad at it. Standout Track: 2100.

IV by BadBadNotGood is ostensibly a jazz album, but with heavy features and even heavier draw from hip-hop. If you're not usually into jazz, check out the band's albums (I) & (II) as you'll find interesting jazzy renditions of modern hip-hop that might suit you more. But, if you can appreciate a good jazz track then you'll find some real gems here, and most impressively a really good use of features that really push some tracks to the surface. This spot was almost used for Anderson .Paak's latest slot but I connected more with this album than his, although both are good. My one critisism is that parts of this album sort of fade away into background music, but tracks like Lavender and Confessions Pt. II really grab the ear. Standout Track: Up

Top Ten:

10. Simple Forms by The Naked & Famous is a high energy synth-pop album that really shows what a band can do with emotion and nostalgia. This album reminds me a lot of CHVRCHES debut album, and I love it, full of fantastic instrumentation and emotionally charged lyrics the New Zealand hailing band is the perfect soundtrack for punch dancing and summer nights alike. Standout Track: Higher.

9. Freeform Jazz by Uyama Hiroto is a gorgeous blend of Jazz and hip-hop production that brings back heartbreaking memories of Nujabes. Very few producers can come close to the talent and emotion the late-great did, but Uyama Hiroto manages to almost touch him with this album, full of gorgeous keys and brilliant lyrical features is big cities personified. If you're into jazzy hip-hop and want a good, mostly instrumental, album, you'll be doing yourself a favour by checking this out. A brillant usage of drums, keys and wind instruments manages to balance attitude and class beautifully, and is perfect for late night tales and mid day woes alike. Standout Track: Waltz For Real World.

8. Rojus: Designed To Dance by Leon Vynehall is a beautifully produced deep house album with heavy influences from UK house, offering the same style in a more danceable tone that his previous offerings. Certainty a thematic album with a dedicated begininning, middle and end, Vynehall offers a large selection of tracks that stand alone, together or work brilliantly in a mix. I hadn't heard this album in full before I'd heard all the tracks in various mixes, and as an entire single sitting music I fell even more in love with it. It starts out slow and builds steadily towards a full on funky dance album in the middle before curtailing itself off towards a slow walk home in the middle of the night. Standout Track: Blush.

7. Social Housing by Marquis Hawkes is a ride through the legendary birth of US house music, Chicago. Heavy infuences from disco, funk, soul and classic Chi-house are peppered all over this album that it's hard to beleive it was made in 2016. It's full of classic samples and drum loops for the house aficionado, but more importantly it's danceable and fun for anyone that listens to it. A brilliant use of samples and even smarter synth-usage lets each track feel unique and still part of the pack. The intro is placed a bit awkwardly, but it's a good enough track I can't really hate on it. Standout track: Feel The Music.

6. Coloring Book by Chance, The Rapper is a gorgeous example of a brillant merging of soul, gospel and modern hip-hop. This is the album that a young Kanye would make if he was just starting out now, and it's covered in the same eccentricities and brillance that one of his albums is covered in. Chance and his features deliver some brillant lyrics, full of meaningful content and well produced bangers, and are only let down by some experimental and occasionally flawed production. I loved Acid Rap a lot, and while Coloring Book isn't as catchy as his last project, it is no less impactful, and it really shows off the lyrical prowess of Chicago's latest prodigy. From the banger singles like Mixtape and Angels to the more soul and gospel influenced tracks like No Problem and How Great shows off the range that Chance has gained since his last project. He's even got a few hip-house influenced jams on here, although a shallow homage he clearly is trying to get in touch with the musical roots of his city and it shows. While nothing will quite connect with me like Lost did off his last project, it's still a better album than most artists will ever put out. Standout Track: All Night(Ft. Knox Fortune).

5. Atlas by FM-84 is a trip into the synth-powered-drug-fueled goodness of the 80s. If you haven't heard of synthwave, it's pretty much the music that soundtracked the 1980s and is full of huge synths, a fantastic use of reverb and uses more modern production techniques. Remember that Ryan Gosling movie Drive or the ultraviolent drug trip that was Hotline Miami? It's the music from those icons, but with more depth and better production, at least on this album, and also speicific to this album is the much more upbeat tone of it all. It's easy for a lot of this genre to get lost in the depression of drug addiction that is such a baseline for this aesthetic, but FM-84 manages a hopeful and innocent summery tone throughout. Standout Track: Running In The Night(Ft. Ollie Wride).

4. A New Start by Pete Hurt Jazz Orchestra is a true contemporary jazz masterpiece. I can't find a stream for this album so if you are into jazz music I'm sure you know where to find it. Not an album for everyone, but dear god does it have both brilliant song naming, as well as fantastic performances and even better composition. Born out of a currently thriving UK Jazz scene, this big band recording is full of chemistry and solo performances alike, and manages to bring the very best of modern jazz while adding his own touches. Pete Hurt only takes on personal solo, but his ability to convey his feeling and appreciation of all that has come before him is no small task. Standout Track: Barefoot Samba.

3. Holy Ghost by Modern Baseball is a contemporary offering emo-rock band that wears their influences on their sleve. From the first rift this album bleeds late 90s and early 2000's pop-punk from blink-182 and their kin. I loved their last album, but felt like a lot of the tracks sort of lacked the strength of others, and while they keep a similar angsty and emotionally fueled tone, they've matured musically and possibly thematically depending on how you want to look at the songs. Full of cheery guitar rifts and lyrics about fading love, depression and loss the Maryland based band doesn't live out their welcome in this 27 minute album, and yet gets across their points in short, (mostly)radio friendly tracks. Great choruses that you can sing-a-long to and brilliant rifts that you'll be humming along to for weeks, with great & relevant lyrics like "Days like this I miss listening to records//Making coffee together//Snow globes and Jersey sheets//I tried sleeping in our bed without you last night//That didn't work at all, cause I couldn't sleep" and "Locked your love in a screenshot//They all work that way" show that even if it is just suburban depression that fuels the band's music, it's personal and that matters. Standout Track: Wedding Singer, that god damn opening rift.

2. Nothern Lights by Zeds Dead showcases the impressive range this Canadian duo has cultivated since the early days in 2010s with their huge dubstep and trap bangers with Omar LinX like Rudeboy and You & I. With pop-influenced hits like Blame and the savage throw back to their early hip-hop & dubstep sounds in DNA with Jadakiss & Styles P, they manage to maintain a consistent theme throughout an album packed with wide reaching genres. To me, Zeds Dead will always be great to listen to alone, and even better in a packed venue, and the attitude they bring with massive drums, a fantastic use of varied synths and a nice touch of samples will be forever. They've progressed from just slamming up the volume on their tracks to persuading the listener to do it themselves, and have managed to create a distincitve sound while distancing themselves from the sloppy production of their younger years. Standout track: Slow Down (Ft. Jenna Pemkowski).

1. We Got It from Here... Thank You 4 Your Service by A Tribe Called Quest. The supposed last work of hip-hop legends manages to hold onto it's past while being current in ways that seem impossible to predict. Always political, the collective manages to celebrate Phife Dawg, feature legends like Andre 3000, Busta Rhymes and Elton John, mixed in with contemporaries like Anderson .Paak and Kendrick Lamar into a seemless composition of jazz influenced 90's hip-hop. If you can't feel it from the opening rift, then I can't explain it, an album that will last for ages. Standout Track: Dis Generation, not a full song but at this link will last. Besides, listen to the whole album c'mon do it.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand done. Hope you got something from this, cause I did. Music is almost always better together, don't forget to dance