#look i am by no means new to tumblr don't bully me okay

[mooncattes]

no one saw my post about looking for the queue on mobile i’m just dumb

my request for more hsr art of the women though still stands

also apparently i have an xiv sideblog, @wolbrained so. if i remember the xiv stuff will go there. if i forget it will go here

[coffeeghoulie]

PLEASE GIVE US DRAG TALK CONTENT

I’m going to post the ten pictures tumblr will allow and then go on a huge ramble under a read more bc goddamn i think this was the best weekend of my life.

Also, fuck tumblr bc I had this whole thing written out (on my phone, nonetheless) and it went poof up in smoke gone. Motherfucker.

I wore jutty’s own shirt to the first night bc I thought I was being funny. He walked past me and a few of my friends after the show, one of whom, Celine, runs the dt discord, and had gift bags for everyone in the band with trinkets from people who made things, myself included. She caught his attention and gave him the bags to distribute, and I was just shaking bc holy shit he just brushed past me in a crowded lounge and my hands were starting to shake (I was surprisingly okay during the show) I got his attention and gave him the bracelet I made for him that said "jutty taylor cyber bully" and he lit up when he I gave it to him and he smiled so fucking big when he noticed what shirt I was wearing.

He told me that he was happy the shirts were "getting new lives" but it still pained him to part with them lmao. I thanked him and explained that it was a "birthday gift" for myself; he did the fundraiser on my actual birthday. As soon as I said that, he pulled me into a side hug and I hit Celine with the biggest "deer in headlights about to be run over please send help" panicked expression lmao. He then proceeded to use my shoulder as an arm rest while he talked with Celine. I normally have an issue with people doing that to me, but I've said "anything for you, mr taylor" and I fucking mean it

I got a picture with him later and bc we were out of the cramped, loud bar, I was able to apologize about rambling in his twitter dms about losing my contact lenses and freaking out over the shirt potentially being lost. I did also get to tell him my name (he knows my legal name for shipping purposes) and told him that I didn't tell him that it was Dot earlier bc my parents and I share a po box and they don't know who Dot is. He turned to me and looked me in the eye and told me that he was very glad the shirt got to me.

When we took the picture, I swear to god, I could feel his stubble against my forehead where he leaned his head against mine and part of me will be on that street corner forever tbh. It's my phone lockscreen and I usually don't like looking at myself but holy fuck its proof it happened

I watched him smoke after the show both nights and ohhhhhhhhhh my god. It is now proven that I can in fact Behave In Public. It was an Ordeal. (you can't blame me, he threw his head back to blow smoke and furrowed his brow in concentration when he lit up. YOU CANT BLAME ME)

I did some touristy shit before the second show and impulsively bought jutty a novelty gift shop shirt to give to him afterwards. I watched him unfold it and just laugh when he saw the design. He thanked me up and down bc he actually needed a shirt and immediately left the group of people waiting to talk to him to put it somewhere he wouldn't lose it.

I am being dead fucking serious rn. I'm pretty much only on tumblr and discord. If a picture of jutty in a dark blue shirt with dinosaur skeletons on it surfaces somewhere online. DO NOT FUCKING TELL OR SHOW ME. I WILL ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY PASS AWAY. I GENUINELY MEAN IT.

Jutty was so nice and gave me a real hug after the second show when my uber was pulling up and I asked kind of quietly for one. He thanked me for coming pretty much in my ear and I just as politely and quickly as I could shoved my face into his collar and took a deep fucking breath and thanked him for everything. (i was also a lil distraught it was over and genuinely needed the hug tbh. i cried in the uber bc i was upset and also bc I was afraid I was being pushy again but I think I was just exhausted, if he didn't want to give me a hug he wouldn't have)

I cannot. CANNOT. even begin to explain how good jutty smells. He smells so fucking good. I think the dt twitter has said what cologne he uses, but once I assess the damage I just did to my bank account with this trip, I will be buying it.

I was able to give Hayden his bracelet after the first show, and he was super sweet and super animated when he talks and he got a little closer to my level (I am v short and it was very loud in that bar). I gave him a condensed version of my airport hell and that this one show had been worth it all, never mind tomorrow's; he seemed surprised people would fly out somewhere they've never been just to see the band. (He was reminded by a friend of mine that Australians flew out for the LA show lmao) But Hayden was super nice and so smiley, I wish I could have watched him play more at the second show but the stage was so small that Ross and the bassist who filled in for Eliot (whose name I'm drawing a blank on rn sorry 😭) stood right in front of him. He put his bracelet on the moment I gave it to him and I stood there shaking like "he likes itttttttt." WAIT SHIT I FORGOT TO SEE IF HE PLAYED WITH SHOES ON OR NOT. FUCK.

The band hung out at a sports bar after the first show, so me and a couple people hung out with Neil and he's super nice and so funny and showed us a peek at the yeti taylor merch that just dropped. He also stuck his head into the Vietnamese place next to the second venue and went "oops wrong door" lol

I didn't get much of a chance to talk to Ross or Matty, but Matty helped me get merch and Ross gave me a high five at the second show. Next time, mark my words, I will have a conversation or two with them, they were both so sweet.

I'm really glad I got to meet everyone who came, too. I got to meet a bunch of people I'd been talking to for months online and we were fucking troopers in line, dealing with the fuckass weather. Worth every second spent in soaked shoes imo. But it was so much fun and I still have to unpack but I am cherishing every little trinket I got.

I was incredibly nervous about being in a city I'd never been to alone, but I would do this trip again in a fucking HEARTBEAT. (i also said something along the lines of "pspspsps mr taylor could you please consider Chicago for next time mayhaps??? 👀👀👀 So Dot doesn't have to deal with flight cancelations and layovers and delays and midnight arrival times????" and he threw his head back and laughed and told me that Chicago is his kind of city so 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞)

[spirit-of-a-kiger]

Am I the only one who hates Jax?

Don't get me wrong, people are absolutely allowed to like him! Hell, I even fully understand why they do; it's really just an objective fact that that buck is attractive and was doomed to become a Tumblr sexyman from the start.

That being said, just how universal that is... makes me feel kind of alone? And I really need to vent.

(Jax lovers, if you're reading this, you probably should step away at this point. And I don't mean that in a judgmental way, not even slightly. Just... for both of our sakes. I'm very unabashed in this post.)

I keep seeing people try to find some goodness in him. And that's fine! They're allowed to speculate! But honestly, like 95% of points I've seen for this argument are a pretty big stretch. I get tempted to reply as such, but I resist it because I know I would end up snapping at them if I did, and snapping at someone over a cartoon is never okay.

I hate Jax. I hate him so, so much. I genuinely, truly hope that he abstracts. The sooner, the better. Just get him out of the picture.

I don't even care about his backstory or trauma or whatever. I really think that if they try to make me feel sorry for him at this point, my response is just gonna be "'k".

It doesn't help that he has so much screentime. It makes sense if you think about it, as he is the creator's favorite character, but it really doesn't help my opinion of him.

Everything Jax does pisses me off. Literally every waking moment, he hurts somebody for absolutely no reason. And no one can stop him. He even continues to mess with Zooble - you know, the person who literally strangled him the last time he was a butt to them.

I genuinely believe that among all the other issues that would come from being trapped in the Digital Circus, being stuck with Jax every day for the rest of your life is at least in the top 3 worst. I honestly can't even imagine how horrible that would be. Like, if it were me, I would try my darnedest to shred him to pieces every time he so much as looked at me funny, but again, Zooble tried that, and all it did was repel him temporarily. Even Ragatha has pretty much given up at this point, not bothering to stick up for Gangle when Jax was bullying her while she was driving because Ragatha knew (probably from experience) that there was nothing that could be done about it.

So, yeah. This isn't entirely organized, but it's not entirely disorganized, either. I just needed to get it out of my system. It's not as good as talking, I'm finding, but it's better to do it through text than not at all. I'm not sure if I got 100% of it out, so I'll just edit or reblog or something if something new comes to mind.

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Encounters Her First Full GMMTV Upfronts Experience: A Personal Journey Into GMMTV2024

LOL, I don't mean to be dramatic -- I was around a little bit (?) last November for the GMMTV2023 upfronts, and I honestly did not know what was going on, except to scream about Cherry Magic Thailand. Back then, I was much more of a Japanese BL gal (see: Cherry Magic), but now I'm down with the GMMTV scene, as it were, through my Old GMMTV Challenge project, and I'm ready to wax on deez trailers.

One huge overall note: YES TO DUDES NOT BEING IN BRANDED PAIRS. Your Gawins, your Ohms, your Thors, your Joss-es. YES. This is an exciting line-up to me to see the dudes getting mixed up. As much as I loved Be My Favorite, I don't need to see GawinKrist again.

I am stealing the formats of the wonderful @bengiyo and @neuroticbookworm to offer my thoughts on the trailers! (My list is literally gonna look like everyone else's list, LMAO).

FUCK YES

My Golden Blood: Joss, Gawin, Mond, Neo. Vampires. Blood. Baseball bats. LSKDJFLSJDFLKSJDGLKJSDLGKJSLDKGJLDSKF. The SFX are gonna be SO BAD. Joss sucking Gawin's blood will be SO FUCKING GOOD. I AM STILL SCREAMING. OBVIOUSLY.

Kidnap: Ohm Pawat's next BL. While he had previously said that he wanted Bad Buddy to be his last BL, the bullying scandal that he encountered this past year makes this decision a sensible one to get back on the brand engagement train. His co-star, Leng Thanaphon, is gorgeous looks like he's making a strong debut. I am very happy for Ohm, but I think I am a bit spoiled by knowing his previous non-GMMTV oeuvre so well (Make It Right, Dew, He's Coming To Me), and I'm feeling like GMMTV isn't pushing his acting chops as much as they used to. (Meaning.... I'd be okay if he left GMMTV one day to do more movies.) Time will tell, but I am happy for him -- he is a king of BL, the most prevalent actor on the OGMMTVC list, and this'll let him rebuild his career. He deserves it, and is a personal fave of mine.

Wandee Goodday: YO. So obviously this looks intriguing! But like -- I'd expect Golf Tanwarin to be doing this for another network. Full-frontal, heavy (HEAVY!) sex talk, smoochin' everywhere. I'm impressed GMMTV is going here. It's perhaps because I have Domundi on the mind heavily with my recent ZeeNunew education, but I have been feeling as of late that GMMTV has been choosing fluff and/or crap romance (SEE: DANGEROUS ROMANCE -_-) over... pure sex, as it were, and this is getting closer to a Domundi-style show than even where Only Friends went. I LOVE THOR. I LOVE THOR!!!! I'm excited for this, and me likey the looks of Inn.

On Sale: I am LOVING this new we're-not-in-school-we-are-just-insane TayNew era. And Jan is a FAVE FAVE FAVE of mine, and looks like she's gonna level this show the FUCK up. I'm SO INTO THIS.

Pluto: For sure I am watching this for Film (oh, and hi, Thor and Arm!). I'm not the biggest Namtan fan? I wasn't the biggest fan of her acting in Midnight Museum or UMG. Kinda flat. But she's at the top of the popular actress list at GMMTV, and it's great that someone of her prominence is flirting in the QL space. Film, though -- Film has CHOPPPPPPPPPPS and will likely eat this role. We might never get EarnPear, but this might be close.

My Precious: For NanonFilm, anything. But this is just the movie with more scenes, right? I don't know if it was ever going to get international distribution as a movie anyway. K. I'll buy it!

The Trainee: Tell me where I've seen OffGun do movie shit before -- and I don't mind the slight theme repeat. KapookPiploy, huh? I have not seen Vice Versa, but I really enjoyed Sea Tawinan in that. Gun crying, not surprising, but I officially stan OffGun because of Not Me, and I'll stand by this one.

UMMMM

My Love Mix-Up: See here for my initial thoughts. I came to Thai BLs from Japanese BLs. Kieta Hatsukoi was one of the first JBLs I discovered specifically through Tumblr. Japanese BLs are so varied -- and I think, when one is watching JBLs, to have a gentle/general sense of how sex is perceived/managed/dealt with in Japanese culture. I'm not gonna get into this too much here, but the ways in which Japanese and Thai societies deal with sex is very different. Anyway. I think my own mental dissonance on this conversation is coloring my thoughts on My Love Mix-Up Thailand/Kieta Hatsukoi Thailand. Pairs are not repeated in Japan (unless you have second seasons of the same show), and to have an established branded pair in GemFourth in Ida and Aoki's roles -- I'm just, I'm not sure. I don't want the show to feel pressured to go to a place it wouldn't go to without a branded pair. Will Thailand pay homage to Ida's unique and inquisitive demi identity? Can the branded ship economy manage that? I dunno. Let's wait and find out.

Summer Night: I'm going to be gentle on this one. I like that Phuwin takes on various het roles. I happened to LOVE HIM in The Warp Effect. And I like Bimbeam in here -- she actually showed some firm chops in 55:15 Never Too Late. Only if the schedule allows will I take this one, but I actually like the smell of it a bit.

Ossan's Love: What in the EarthMix. Ossan's Love was often cited as queerbaiting material for early Japanese BLs (EDITING TO ADD: just want to clarify that that statement literally came from my early days in JBLs reading Twitter; thank you to @twig-tea and @nieves-de-sugui for the clarifications in the comments!); I have never watched it, but understand its importance in the Japanese BL repertoire. I'm gonna remain sus on this until we find out more. (Although, I'm VERY EXCITED to see a channel like TV Asahi break out of the Japanese paradigm of not collaborating with other countries to get this on Thai TV air. TV Asahi and TV Tokyo for Cherry Magic are real groundbreakers, and I do dig that.)

Only Boo: When I was talking about this show with friends, and @neuroticbookworm said "Book's in this," I WAS LIKE, WHO'S BOOK? LMAO. Let me see Book away from Force for a GOD DAMN SECOND. I know we don't know anyone in here, but the actors actually seem strong! This was a fun preview.

We Are: Lots of couples. PondPhuwin, MarcPawin, WinnySatang, Aou and that other dude. What is this, a New Siwaj show? I might have enough to watch next year without needing to watch ANOTHER school drama. We'll see.

LIKELY NOT

Enigma 2: Not a fan of Win Metawin, and didn't watch the trailer.

High School Frenemy: I understand this is a K-drama remake of School 2013, which I haven't seen. I... am trying to understand the story here, but happy for View/June/Mark/Prom to be in a show together, and I'll pay more attention when the show's closer to airing.

HARD PASS

Ploy's Yearbook: Did not watch the trailer. I understand there's a storyline with Joong's character romancing his adopted sister. HARD. NO.

[exitthedoughnut]

Particle Accelerator // Marvel

About Me and My Writing

Hi, you can call me Malibu (or w/e floats thine boat). I'm in my late twenties, my pronouns are she/her. I am both queer myself and obviously queer friendly. I'm not always consistently around due to both some environmental circumstances and personal struggles (it's the mental illness).

My writing style is third person present tense. I do have the ability to write in past tense if present tense bothers you. I can write anywhere from 200 words to about 3,000 (I don't measure in paragraphs as I play a little fast and loose with the definition of "paragraph" aksjdfhg).

While I don't expect you to mirror/length-match me, I am asking for someone who is comfortable writing detailed, literate posts. Not every post has to be 800w, I often dip low in my word count during dialogue heavy scenes. And I'm not asking for perfect spelling every time, lord knows I have a myriad of typos and I don't re-read my posts when I get excited. But I'm asking for the basics.

I am not caught up on the MCU. I just watched Multiverse of Madness last week, which is about where I'm at. I'll have a more comprehensive list of what I do and don't know a little later in the post.

The Rules

Since I'm in my late-late twenties, I'm looking for someone who is at least 23 themselves, but it'd be even better if you were 25+

In this house we double. If you don't know what doubling means, it means that I write both my character and who you want me to write for you, and you write your character and who I want you to write for me. It's a fairness thing derived from the old days of "canon x oc is SO selfish and unfair" which is why old farts like me say it's for "balancing" or "tit for tat" or whatever, since I've seen a lot of confused people lately. If I'm asking for canon x oc, it's only right I offer the same (or whatever it is you want) in return. Something I am completely capable of, I don't know why people make such a big deal out of lying on their fainting couch and claiming they can't do two sets of characters at once. Especially when they're totally okay with writing out background characters at the same time??

I will even triple for you, if you're in the market for a love triangle or a polyam OT3. You do not in any way have to triple in return, in fact I'd prefer if you didn't.

I also am completely comfortable writing as much space filling NPCs and canons as we need. I never let a scene go empty, and I'm happy to write surrounding characters. In fact I do it automatically. Sometimes people are surprised by this. I used to admin group roleplays.

At this time I am not looking for any NSFW content in my roleplays. I fade to black, and I won't be bullied into doing otherwise. (Dick jokes and talking about the fact adults do fuck is fine though, fading to black doesn't mean instant prude status)

I am however alright with like, a bit of violence. About Witcher 3's level is as far as I'm comfortable going: Fights can get messy as a treat if we want, we just don't need to go body horror with the organs, right?

Limits: Are very important, do not forget them. I do not want drugs, alcohol, smoking, vaping, or substance abuse to feature in or out of character. I don't want to see memes about it, I don't want to write about it. Nothing. I should not have to justify this, but my hobby and the dms of people I hope to be friends with is literally the only place I can ask to be a safe space. Because it is everywhere. I'm not judging people, I don't care what you do. I just don't want to hear about it, because I can't escape it anywhere else. I also am not wild about sexual assault, or the community's standard limits list of: pedophilia, incest, bestiality, etc. Leave all of that at the door, thank you. Rule number one of the salon is don't be nasty and you know that!

The mediums I use are: Discord and Email (I'm not keen on writing here on tumblr, but I'd be happy to idk, make a private Proboard or something?)

New rule: Please do not show me AI art of your character. Don't use an AI generator about it if you plan to write with me. Find a picrew or a dress up doll or some random picture on Pinterest. Hell just give me a paragraph description if you have to.

When you message me, do not just ask for my Discord or my Email. Do not just ask if I'm still looking, don't just say hey. The first message is a first impression, make it a good one. Tell me about yourself, tell me who you want me to write for you, what you're thinking, if you're picking up what I am putting down. Put some personality into it: This isn't a job, it's a hobby, it should sound like it when you talk to me. In this same vein, I'd prefer said first impressions are conducted over email, but messaging me on tumblr is fine too I suppose

Characters and "Plots"

First of all, in regards to sexuality / gender / canon / oc identities, everything is peachy keen! M/F, F//, M//, Trans, NB, Canon/OC, Canon//, OC// are all fine by me ♡

My side will be M/F Canon/OC, but you are welcome to request anything you would like. This is Build-A-Bitch and you can, in fact, have it your way.

My side is also M/F in a distinctly queer way. My OC is under the ace umbrella, as well as someone who doesn’t entirely conform to gender, so take that as you will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I will make you an OC, I will play multiple Canons for you, you can write as any gender identity or sexuality as you please. Just rub the lamp and make your wish! I will write almost any Canon for you, barring noted exceptions.

That out of the way, here's what I'm looking for!

I am looking for you to write: Tony Stark against my OC. I would particularly love to write for you: Steve, Bucky, Quill, Peter (Parker, MCU or Insomniac), Rocket (I will not make him a human), Drax, Stephen, Sam, Yuri (Watanabe, Insomniac), May (MCU), Mantis, Quentin Beck (Insomniac), Yelena, Natasha, Agatha, damn near anyone your gay heart desires Who I'm not particularly keen to write: Thanos, Quentin Beck (MCU), Tony Stark (duh)

And here's some plot jumping off points I've got rattling around in here, my favorites I'll mark w a heart scale out of five:

Iron Man 2008 ♥♥♥♥♥

My OC x Pre-established, Pre-Afghanistan Tony and working through the films? His life? An AU? W/e, but starting in 2008 Iron Man

Now I know a lot of people tend to cringe at pre-established or in general think it’s boring. But I don’t mean they were already like super together and had had a full character arc and everything prior to the roleplay ever starting. What I mean by this is I want to play with a plot where my OC and Tony were acquainted (preferably as friends with benefits) prior to his abduction in by the Ten Rings. During his time away my OC will realize oops! She accidentally fell in love with the emotionally unavailable playboy she was supposed to be having a not serious relationship with! And now he’s probably dead. Cue emotional turmoil! I like to pick the plot up at and start the roleplay when he comes home from Afghanistan, and work through the no doubt complicated feelings going on, building their relationship throughout the timeline. I’m not asking for insta-love. I’m just asking for two people who know each other and now have a whole lot of baggage to haul out of the basement thanks to someone’s near death experience.  I’m also not looking for this idea some people have that a roleplay ends with a couple getting together. I don’t want to artificially postpone them getting together, but again I’m not asking for insta-love. Just for something to evolve naturally. I’m sure that’s all obvious but I have had people try to withhold them from dating for esoteric reasons, and I just want to cover my bases since this is the most frequently misunderstood plot I want to do. Now obviously, this is very self indulgent. I would never dream of asking for this for my side without being willing to absolutely reciprocate. If you have a Marvel bae you want to work through the films with or some other self indulgent ask you never get to use, ask away. I am happy to do whatever you want for your side in exchange. I also recognize this is disgustingly self indulgent, but what is roleplay if not the wish fulfillment hobby? Naturally, in return, I am happy to write whatever self indulgent AU you are after!

Guardians of the Galaxy (1, 2, Game, whatever!) ♥♥♥♥♥

General space shenanigans. Tony + his found family the Guardians is extremely important to me.

I absolutely adore throwing Tony and my OC up into the cold, unforgiving expanse of space to be picked up by the Guardians. Them acting as a found family for Tony just means a lot to me, especially with how the writers for the MCU just. Refused to make the Avengers friends? If they won’t let the Avengers be friends, then I’ll give Tony friends by way of the Guardians god damn it. (Yes, him being Friends with Rocket and Nebula in Endgame was very important to me, thank you for asking) I am perfectly happy with your side being either from Earth or from space! Although this idea revolves around the Guardians, please don’t feel like your love interest has to be from the space scape, as I am ready and willing to find a way to drop kick everyone into space regardless of where your love interest comes from. If curious! My most commonly utilized plot involves the Collector hiring someone, be it the Guardians or another faction, to scoop up Tony. Frequently the reasoning is either A) Tony’s suit and reactor is unique, and he’s interested, or B) he’s interested in getting him as a gladiator present for his brother, the Grandmaster's, birthday. We don’t have to use this idea, I am happy to come up with others, brainstorm something together if you like But I know people often wonder how I plan to get them up there, and that one’s a pretty sure bet.

Potential Firefly influence?

Either instead or or in addition to the thoughts above, we could add some Firefly spice into this? Firefly is cowboys in space, let’s be real, and Quill gives a lot of pretending at being a space cowboy energy. I think kind of slapping him with some Mal energy could be really fun if you want him as a love interest.  Not required! Just something I’ve talked about with some people before and I am pretty fond of.

Miscellaneous

I'm also currently in Chapter 7 of the 2021 video game! And I love it a lot so far. I don't know anything about the comics (but want to start reading them soooon especially the arc where Tony is with them 🥺) and we don't at all have to stick to the MCU version of the Guardians (especially since I have my own headcanon version of Quill rattling around in my head that's 100% not Crisp Rat askjdhfg) I just love the Guardians as a concept. I love space families, I love Firefly and Star Trek is one of my favorite childhood series as well, and I love all the space stuff in Steven Universe, etc etc. I just love space settings LOL esp slice of life space settings (ST:TNG my beloved)

Insomniac's Spider-Man ♥♥♥

So I’m like too in love with this game. As someone who never read the comics, and didn’t really get into Tobey’s Spider-Man and catch the bug like my sibling did, I feel like with this game I finally get it, you know? Spider-Man is one of the most popular superheroes, and I wasn’t like. On the hype train. But now I’m on the hype train.  I’m unfortunately not really sure what I want to do with these games. All I know is that I love them, and I’d trade several organs to be able to write Insomniac’s Peter for you. I want to write him so so bad I just think he’s wonderful. I also love Yuri but not nearly as much as Peter.  We could follow the games, maybe do some pre-game stuff with Peter? Explore some of the 8 years prior to the game of him being Spidey? Maybe expand on some of the lore tidbits we get throughout the game in dialogue and mostly the backpack collectables? We could also do some post-game (any of the three) stuff. We could rewrite some of the game! We could save some characters maybe. I’m not sure! I’d love to explore literally anything with this, so if you have something in mind please let me know!  I’d love to figure out some ways to incorporate other Marvel characters too, just because seeing all the little nods and hints in the games to other villains or heroes or the dialogue tied to certain landmarks, or Otto getting bankrolled by Advanced Idea Mechanics: that shit was thrilling. I’d love to find a way to do more of this, even if it’s just figuring out how we slam dunk Iron Man into the scene. 

Thor: Ragnarok ♥♥♥

Science Bro reunion on the planet of trash is very good, ten outta ten. Love to slam dunk people into Sakaar.

I don’t have a whole lot more to say about this honestly? Other than we can also throw in whatever canon you want that isn’t normally there. Want the Guardians to show up? Carol? Want to slam dunk your bae in the gladiator ring too? Regardless of the movie I’m anchoring a plot to, I will throw anyone and everyone into the ring if you want.

Spoiled Princess gets anything she asks for, details at eleven.

I also have an AU where my OC (still human) was adopted by the Grandmaster as a baby, and is essentially the princess of trash planet, and Sakaar is where she meets Tony. Typically I have her ask her dad to spare Tony by way of insisting that he has a champion in the Hulk, why can’t she ever have a champion? He can’t just melt stick everything she takes an interest in! Other than that not much to say, I feel like Ragnarok is a pretty straight forward setting. Most of the ideas for this one would come about in talking it out with you.

Multiverse Stuff ♥♥♥?

Loosey goosey thoughts

I have a few multiverse ideas, one of which is original but could also be tied to NWH if we wanted. Another one involves TVA/Loki s1 stuff. We could probably swing something DSMOM related! Most of it deals with my OC having been involved with a Tony (be it MCU or some other universe's Tony), and loses him. Then typically she either tries to find a way to fix it (TVA intervenes) or she goes on a grief fueled vigilante spree and gets somehow knocked into a new dimension (original/nwh) where she can stop this universe's Tony from suffering the same fate, blah blah blah. It's all pretty loose and idk how super attached I am to it, but I came up with it because I was sad about IWEG and watching Phase 4 is hard LOL I also have a Spider-AU for my OC (who is normally just a civilian and doesn't have any powers other than This Stick She Found™), because who among us didn't make a Spider AU after seeing Spider-Verse LOL

Alternate Universe ♥♥♥♥

I'm always always always super down for an AU. We could use other media as the AU (Star Trek, Gargoyles, Disney/Fairytales, Indiana Jones, Anime, Jurassic Park, Steven Universe - literally name it, if I know it I can probably get hype about workshopping an AU) For more generic tropes/genres I loooove Fantasy AUs, D&D AUs, I love space and robots and sci-fi, I super love spies!! Like oh my gosh spy AUs are some of my favorites. It's like spies, fantasy, space slice of life, and androids are probably my four favorite genres? I'm super down for anything though. I also looove monster AUs, like vampire Tony?? Hello???? You could probably suggest anything and I'd be happy to babble about it. Magical Girls? Dungeon Meshi? Baldur's Gate? (though that's just Gale. Let's be real with ourselves. alkjhdjkg it's 100% why I am romancing Gale) I'm a slut and a whore for AUs aslkjdhfg and I am also a slut and a whore for tending to have like Six AUs I talk about all at the same time with partners who are tolerant of that behavior slkjdfg

Okay !! That should take care of the plot and characters section, onto the last little bit!

What Media Do I Know?

MCU:

Where I'm At:

Phases 1-3, Wandavision, Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Black Widow, Loki Season 1 (but not S2 yet!), Shang-Chi, a few episodes of What If, Hawkeye, Eternals, No Way Home, Multiverse of Madness, GOTG Holiday Special

What I'd Prefer Not to Do:

IWEG. At least in the way it was shown to us. I'd prefer to just nuke it from existence entirely through plot points that circumvent it altogether, but I understand the blip is like. important or whatever to most of Phase 4 aslkdhjfg so if you want to do something in P4, we can workshop this.

Other Marvel Entries:

Insomniac's Spider-Man, Miles Morales, and Spider-Man 2

Chapter 7 of Squeenix's Guardians of the Galaxy (2021)

Deadpool, Deadpool 2 (though I didn't care for the second film) I haven't seen the third yet since it's in theaters and since covid I don't go to those, but I'll see it eventually 🤷

Days of Future's Past, X-Men First Class

Into the Spider-Verse, but not Across the Spider-Verse yet

Marvel Rivals! Yeah there's not a lot of content there but I also really like the dialogue writing alskshjdfg (and as an Overwatch fan I'm used to this like No Content But Somehow the Voice Lines Make It Worth It vibe lmao

I own Squeenix's Avengers, TTG's GOTG, and the Iron Man VR game that I all plan to play but haven't yet

Alright, I think that's probably it!

Hope to hear from you guys, but if I don't, good luck on your searches!

And for those who stuck around to the end and are interested in contacting me, here is my email that you can do that at:

beachcityshores (at) gmail (dot) com

(sorry for it not being very copy-pasteable, trying to avoid you know whats just scraping my email and spamming me)

We can totally RP via Discord, but you gotta get my handle by talking to me first. I'm getting tired of handing out my disco only to be hit with "hi i saw your ad :)" great what do you want [insert something I didn't ask for here]

If you're gonna make me pull teeth at least pay me a dentist's salary first <33

Bye!

[moonnue]

It's recently been brought to my attention that people that are speaking out for me are being harassed. I'll be answering that persons ask below the cut as I don't want to fill people's feeds with more drama, but I do think it's important to discuss. There is also very helpful info on how to report on Ao3 if you have not done it before!

In any case, I strongly encourage that you block, report, and move on if someone tries to pester you about this. Be careful out there!

I am so, so sorry this has been happening to you. I just wrote a simple fanfic and it is baffling that something like this can come out of it. It really ain't that deep. I also agree with you! I can't believe the other writer and I are the same age like please i'm begging you to leave this childish behavior behind. It is so silly. We left this behind in high school.

Report Link: https://archiveofourown.org/abuse_reports/new

Thanks so much for your words of support and you're help. It truly means a lot to me. Again, I am so sorry you have gotten caught up in all this. Wishing you well! ♥

@softpastelqueer

Text version of images below:

Hey, sorry to bother you again (I know you want to move on from this), but I received a bunch of unhinged asks/harassment myself (including threats) both for supporting you/being against an obvious mass bullying campaign against you and for joking that Titanic must’ve also stolen from them. The Protag drawing Astarion really was done before both of y’all, so I’m staunchly with you there

Obviously, it’s ridiculous to claim the protag of stories being an artist drawing a character is akin to copy written intellectual property. It’s a really REALLY old idea and it’s genuinely ridiculous to claim ownership over that. Even more ridiculous to consider we’re all older adults. Shouldn’t we all be busy stretching so our lower backs won’t hurt??? Like c’mon guys this is silly

Furthermore, what’s even more ridiculous is to encourage harassment of others. Again, we’re somehow all adults? If their claims of plagiarism were provable beyond the vague hand waving away of now owning the entire concept of writing about artists drawing people, then why did they and their crowd harass me instead of trying to convince me? I am a rando who didn’t know either of you and actually found YOU through one of THEIR first posts spamming the BG3 tag with encouragements to others to “teach you plagiarism is not okay” aka harassment.

I am both an artist AND professional editor for novels, manuscripts, and the like. I was trained to spot real plagiarism. Not a single bit of your structure could be flagged as plagiarism beyond the same premise.

Now that that’s been said. They’re still harassing you (and me now I suppose) and so I recommend you and others to report them on AO3. They’ve created an AO3 post further encouraging harassing you and encouraging falsely reporting your story for plagiarism.

If you’ve never had to report anybody before, here’s what mine looks like

[IMAGE]

My full report says “This person (WanderingIsobel) has been targeting and harassing the other writer (MoonNue) and also encouraging other people to harass them and report their story under the claim it’s plagiarism to use the same generic story premise. Half of the harassment is on tumblr while the other half of the harassment is on here, AO3. The other writer has explained many times that they have never read their story and to please leave them alone, but now they made an entire AO3 post dedicated to encouraging people to report and “comment” aka harass them over a weird fake accusation. It’s making it hostile both for the writer of Portrait Of A Vampire and for readers in general.”

Link for the AO3 Reporting

But Holy shit I am so sorry you’re getting caught up in fandom unwellness the rest of tumblr makes fun of. Whatever you need, I’m here to help, including even venting. I am sorry You’re a victim of a mass harassment/bullying campaign.

[leohttbriar]

7, 12, 16, 18, 20 - that's a lot so take your pick, I just always like seeing your opinions

right back at you! was secretly hoping you would reblog the game :)

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

never really encountered this phenomena before cobra kai except for the vaguest hint of an aversion to samwise gamgee after everyone kept calling him the "real hero," but that aversion never took, and i'm ashamed to admit such weakness even now.

johnny lawrence was one of my favorite characters in cobra kai season one and then i logged onto tumblr and now i just Do Not Get It. a feeling i think from pre-season 3, even, when he was still a good and consistent character in the show. another character was robby. predictably, he was a bit babygirlified and he got soooo much more attention than sam and tory and even miguel and tbh, that made me pout massively. like. i don't care about him :(

i could be intellectual about this (and, okay, clearly the root of this petty hate is that particular sort of frustration that comes over a girl when all the boys in her fourth grade gym class get mad at her for being faster than them and then they refuse to let her play in their recess soccer game even though she's the best player--and it then sticks with her for the rest of her life) but in a vacuum i probably wouldn't feel the way i do. like, my ire is definitely in response to how other people feel about the bully character from 80's sports movie karate kid.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

you can bet that any female character that has ever been called annoying is at the top of this list. feels like girls like that are always popping up and torturing pop-culture consumers. the only one i can name right now is sam larusso, since that's the most recent model.

but also i read pride and prejudice in seventh grade. didn't get a single word of it, but i did understand that mrs. bennett was extremely annoying. then i read it again a few years later and have been her fierce defender ever since. female characters with high-pitched voices and anxiety: i adore. if you don't like those characters, in my head im thinking you're only as intelligent as me at 13.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

any sort of portrayal of spock as someone who is violent and angry and just holding it back constantly bc he hates being half human--i do Not Get It. any sort portrayal of an alien species on star trek in which the aliens learn to embrace their humanity, or something. like, i can't stand it.

i want spock to be super-duper logical and stoic. i want that to be a good thing. i want all alien characteristics to be embraced and explored. i want the weirdness. new trek just isn't doing weirdness enough! and if human morality and social structures are so universally important, stop being cowardly and explain whyyyyy.

this also applies to fanfic which is, in fact, disastrously worse on this subject. especially fanfic based on the 2009 star trek movie.

but okay it's like---the roswell conspiracy is really fun and stuff cause it is really just the government stoking some nonsense so the russians can't figure out all the special-stupid weapons and spy-equipment they're making. and then it means that everything in roswell, nm is alien themed: little green faces everywhere, three-fingered hands waving at you on billboards, "greetings earthlings," 50's era space-art, and so on. I am very into that aesthetic, especially in the middle of nowhere southwest desert with not a mountain or forest for hundred of miles. of course people were looking up and being like "there must be Something out there. look how big."

all good, yes, and silly. but people really believe it and they really believe that the aliens look the way they do! the way the "witnesses" described little looking men with big ol eyes in a big ol head and extra long arms. sweeties! that's a primate! that's an earth-creature! there's no imagination! there's no weirdness! what if the aliens didn't have a face. what if they didn't have eyes! what if they were made of a chalky substance that molted every few minutes to maintain a needed basic pH and their way of observing electromagnetic radiation was not light projected thru a lens but like little pores of mucous all over their body like the one's on sharks (ampullae of lorenzini) that absorb electromagnetic radiation and also give the creature poles which means they can block all visible light with special mind powers and maybe photosynthesize or something.

i realize that fanfiction is largely concerned with two attractive men going at it, but for all that people claim to be "monster fuckers," that really hasn't borne out in star trek fanfic. explore eroticism with the weird, with the actually alien. i want that. that'd be great. i know octavia butler and others already Did That but i want to see a star trek go boldly, you know what i mean. also, i want something more like eroticism for the sake of the erotic--not as metaphor about feminine subjugation or something (no offense ms. butler).

even if that doesn't happen, would love to read a fanfic or watch a tv show in which, for example, spock's journey is not about how oppressive being a vulcan is, or whatever.

[nova-or-something]

Hey there. It's me: the kid who ate sand back in Pre-K!

Please refer to me as, "Nova" (Formely known as "Razi"). I am fourteen years old, and can be rather timid or bland at times, so don't expect our first interaction to be that intriguing.

Questions/concers that you might be brewing in your head are under the cut

"Where can I find you?"

• Deviantart (More open about certain things there)

• Reddit (The people there say not to share your account with anyone, so. . .)

• Discord (Uh, everyone I know tells people to ask for their Discord, so. . .)

• Tumblr (nova-or- hey wait. . .)

• Oc QnA

"What do you have stupid obsessions over?"

• Pokémon

• Brawl Stars

• Cookie Run

• Guardian Tales (Although my frequency in playing goes on and off)

"Hey, your creations look pretty cool. Can I do stuff with them?"

Yes, but on three conditions:

You tell me what you're gonna do with it

The thing you're doing can't be erotic NFSW (I mean, it technically can since I truly can't stop you, but just please don't I'm begging you-)

You credit me ("___ belongs to @/nova-or-something")

". . . Hey, when you said ____, it really hurt my feelings. . ."

Oh, I did? I'm so sorry. I've realized that I can come off as rude, immature, or insensitive at times, and I sincerely apologize in advance. I promise that I am improving myself and trying to look at things from new perspectives.

"What are some things that you're fine with?"

• Swearing (If you're not comfortable with this, tell me.)

• Venting

• Constructive criticism

• Brutal Honesty (I'm fine with receiving it, but I'll try not to give it.)

"What are some things that you're not fine with?"

• Prejudice

• Discrimination

• Taking part in any illegal/unethical sexual interest

• Proshipping

• Harrasment/Bullying

• Not accepting what someone else likes that you don't (Unless it's morally incorrect to like that thing)

• Destrucive Criticism

"What are some things that make you uncomfortable?"

• Referring to me by my real name if you ever happen to find it. (I'm kinda fine with it if you're an IRL friend, but I still prefer being called Nova online)

• Being reminded that time is always passing (I have chronophobia btw)

• Skittishly moving bugs

• Repetitively trying to get my attention about something

• Having me or others put in an inferior light (Even for comedy)

With this information, I hope you enjoy your time here!

. . . Oh! One more thing:

I, might not be able to give the best advice, but if you're feeling down, I want to help you, okay? You can talk to me if you need to, and I'll be happy to lend you an ear.

You got that?

[dzpenumbra]

4/30/23

Last night was difficult.

I don't think I mentioned it in my journal, maybe I did and I don't remember, idk, I'm going to tell the story anyway. I was watching a Red Dead stream last night and a girl who had been a subscriber in that channel for 7 consecutive years accidentally wrote a private message into the Twitch chat. And I mean really private.

(side note - ctrl+b, which is used for bold is right between ctrl+v [paste] and ctrl+n [new window in chrome]. And the undo on Tumblr is fucked. So... just... gonna point out how frustrating and inconvenient that is if you just slightly miss the b key and suddenly you either have a new window pop up or a paragraph of text just appears.)

This chick posted about like... really bad medical news. Like organ disease news. That she got that day. And she immediately asked mods to delete it, because she couldn't. And no one did. And there were like over 1000 people in there. And then these assholes started copying and pasting her message. At first just one. Then one who spent "channel points" to actually highlight the copied message. Then like 5 more. It... was really disturbing. Like... I struggle to see any humor in it, and I have a pretty open mind about humor. It really felt like someone saying "haha look, this chick has cancer!" As though... anyone is going to laugh about that...

Now... I know a thing or two about humor. Humor used to be my primary coping mechanism. And most humor is just that, it's a way of diffusing something incredibly uncomfortable or painful, and transforming it into something funny, something palatable. Something positive, even. And sometimes that can be a... compulsion for some people, a reflex, that they're not even really conscious of. But there's a skill to doing that. It takes effort, it takes practice, it takes skill. And there is nothing... buckle the fuck up, I'm going loud here... THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING LAZIER THAN COPYING AND PASTING SOMETHING AND CALLING IT FUNNY. <catches breath> Okay, just had to get that out. People man, I just don't understand. Do these fucking imbeciles really lack the brain cells to understand that making a joke about a serious medical condition should... I dunno... maybe be handled a little more tactfully than treating it like retweeting a fucking meme or something?

Again, I am not against jokes that test the line, and even outright cross it. At all. Pushing those boundaries is important, in its own way. But there's a goddamn reason why we only had one Don Rickles. There's a reason we had one South Park. One Jackass. There is an art to pushing boundaries, and it requires skill, charisma and confidence. And these people had none of the above. They were just... schoolyard bullies, trying to impress other schoolyard bullies. They were literally grown-ass schoolyard bullies, likely piss drunk at 4AM, watching a 38 year old man pretend to be a cowboy in a video game, and stumbled across what was pretty obviously a private message between a long-standing paying community member and likely a family member... and they decided they wanted to pants her in front of class. Like... this is a fucking cartoon of schoolyard bully behavior. And people were fucking laughing! People were like... chuckling and going along with it

I... I pulled up a private message to her. And I typed out "hey, what they're doing is really not cool and I'm really sorry all this is happening to you. It's really fucked up." And... I didn't send it. Any other lifetime, I would have sent it. But I didn't. And I don't even know why I don't anymore. I definitely didn't stand up for her in chat. I didn't even support her behind closed doors. But when she put a message in chat saying it was fucked up? I immediately tagged her and sent a heart emoji, like... lightning speed, to show she has my support. I just... I feel bad. It's self preservation, it has to be. Like... I don't want this mob turning on me... So I don't stick up for the grown adult that's being bullied by grown adults. Because there are people there whose job it's supposed to be to moderate that, and they were asleep at the wheel, and... I didn't want to overstep, and they sure as shit won't respect my opinion if I don't have a sword icon next to my name.

And the streamer, when he noticed? He chuckled. And was like, "come on guys, knock it off..." Like... it was a bunch of kids playing in the backyard by throwing knives at the dog or something, and that's his response. It made me super uncomfortable. That and the shit that went down in his Discord? Blatantly saying "we're mob-mentality around here, okay?" And the Native American character he made, and how... really insensitive he was with it... and how he pretty obviously got reported several times on it but straight up lied to his audience about it and has doubled-down so many times I can't even count. "Nah nah nah, Moondance isn't going anywhere guys, I'll play him whenever I want, I just don't feel like it tonight..." RIIIGHHHTTT... I just... I'm really turned off by it.

Fuck the internet, man. The internet is very blatantly advertising directly to children, who are the most profitable demographic on the internet, if you weren't aware... and Twitch specifically has developed a wagering system with fake internet points that you accumulate by spending time watching a streamer (more time = more ads = more $$ for Twitch = more fake points for the kids). And they call them. Get this. Tell me this isn't disgustingly corporate Amazon cliché. They call them "Predictions". It's not gambling marketed towards children to keep them on a website that makes money off of feeding them ads, no no no, it's placing a wager on a "Prediction". I'm not gambling on what the outcome is, with a payout ratio identical to a fucking horse track, nope, I'm just predicting what the outcome is going to be and if I get it right I get a neat prize! They specifically market their site to children. How have they not gotten this shut down yet?!

Okay, got a bit of that out of my system. Why the fuck am I telling this story from last night? Well... I had a night terror. I got about 4-5 hours of sleep, and I had a super intense nightmare. It was very vivid, but I didn't remember much except for the last bit. And... it took me a bit of journaling (I did dream journal, so yay on that) to really start to understand what it was about. I might as well paint a picture for you, it was super vivid and deeply meaningful for me.

I was in a location that represented my parents' basement. I grew up in that house from the ages of 11-18, very formative years. My parents are closeted hoarders, they hide it well. The basement was where everything went. I was down there with someone else, I don't remember who it was. I had found a book that was for me, that I felt bad I hadn't read because, when I was down there and started reading it, it was really interesting. It was part of a series, and it was an exploration and interpretation of the Bible through historical record, plausible science and comparison with other cultural ideologies/mythologies. It was... really cool, and right up my alley. Almost like something I would write, if I felt qualified. I read the part about Genesis I and as I was reading... I got that thing I get sometimes where the mental imagery gets really vivid. And this moment was really disorienting in a dream, and is even disorienting just trying to process how it even happened, because I was... dreaming... which is my imagination, my subconscious mind... and then within that dream I was reading a text and... my subconscious in the dream was conceptualizing the text visually. It was like a Russian Nesting Doll of subconscious visualization, it's absolutely mind-boggling that that's even possible. And this visualization was... essentially an early proto-Earth colliding with a very water-dense celestial object. My brain interpreted this very metaphorically, like big blob of water. And then the combination of these two qualities ended up nurturing an environment like hydrated and nutrient enriched soil. Again, a metaphor, like... water and collision were huge components in setting off the chain reaction that resulted in... life. And... there was some part in the text that was referring... where either that water-dense body or the proto-Earth likely came from. I don't really remember the details on that.

And then... after that... I remember the person I was with upsetting the streamer (who was there with a bunch of his friends in-character), and they left. And after I read and visualized all of that, as though I had read it out loud... he kinda knew. Honestly, I'm struggling to remember it, I'm going to get the journal real quick to refresh.

Okay, it looks like even in the journal right after I woke up I wasn't sure what had upset the streamer and the people he was with. I was reading that passage in the book in the moments leading up to him getting upset and leaving. The book had this section in it that was like MadLibs... like a simple mini-test to sorta... jog and concretize your memory of what the previous passage was about, so you could sorta... use your own brain to make the connections rather than just reading his wording. So, like... I wasn't sure if I upset him, or he witnessed the surreal visual experience I had and it upset him (because it was super vivid, like panic attack vivid, and very emotional), or maybe he knew what I read and that upset him? Maybe I accidentally read out loud and didn't realize? Or... maybe the person I was with upset him... Which, with this much time between me and the dream, seems like the most likely factor... But, either way, he got upset and left. Then... I could sorta... sense through the ceiling and walls in an almost x-ray kinda way that he was like... glaring at me. In a... judgmental, suspicious, skeptical way. In a "I'm on to you..." way. In a witch-hunty Inquisition kinda way. And that set off a massive panic response that immediately woke me up.

You know what? I reflected on this when I woke up, and it's actually really well put for 4 hours of sleep coming out of a panic attack. <pats self on back> So I'm just gonna transcribe it. Fuck it.

"I felt like I needed to impress him, and like I fucked up... which was embarrassing but passed quickly... but that turned into... genuine concern that I was in danger. Like lynching kinda danger, mob violence danger. And that's because I witnessed that last night. And the chick who was being bullied? She was like me. This crowd? These streamers? I keep gravitating towards confident bullies. Andrew Santino types. They're very talented, but their skill is a coping mechanism developed through trauma and conflict. Unprocessed trauma, typically. Because the coping mechanism is their greatest gift, and really their whole life and identity are built on it. I gravitate towards that talent. Being this aware of how these people think (because I was one of them) and how much influence they have, how followers will blindly obey them and they have thousands, made me scared of... as that guy so poetically said in my Twitch chat "(being) thrown in a river with a mill stone tied to (me)." For learning, and exploring ideas that they may consider heretical. But, more specifically, sharing them and being associated with them."

So... you can imagine how hard writing a journal entry like this can be sometimes. It feels really serious and risky, and really silly at the same time. It's not like the context I'm referring to is even... heretical, really... if anything it's trying to prove the Bible's validity! But... I've just seen a lot of dark shit in my study of humanity. A lot of dark, ignorant, zealous things that people do. And seeing that mob mentality last night? It just brought me back to that same old familiar fear. And that shit sticks, and can be hard to shake.

I'm getting really tired, so I want to kinda wrap up, so let me get to the crux of all of this.

Besides the obvious, this journal and this post, why would I be so anxious about sharing my personal beliefs publicly? 1). Family-induced trauma, let's just get that out of the way, so that explains the life-shattering severity. But the focus - I made my desire path project public today. I posted it. It was my only goal for the day. And I did it.

I put it on YouTube. It currently has 3 views and no one has watched it all the way through. I fucking hate analytics and I don't want to watch them anymore. So fucking stupid, as though you have any control over whether people give a fuck about your work. Yikes.

Then, I went into this whole pros and cons list of posting the full project on Instagram. Insta won't let you link shit, and I wanted to keep my videos all on YT because... habit, I guess? Maybe because my Rimworld series is still over there and I was hoping someone might actually give a fuck about that again someday. But after a long time going over it, I decided instead of trying to direct people to go to my profile, then go to my YT link... fuck that. I'm just going to post it there in full, too. And I did. And the grand reception? I got 2 likes. And a comment from my former "best friend", my former goddaughter's mother. And I do appreciate the sentiment. It's just been hard to process those memories.

I always wanted to be a dad. And in my 20's, I got to be her nanny for most of the week when she was around 1 year old. I was working nights and inverting my sleep schedule to drive up an hour each way to watch her during the week. I still have a picture from when I got there one day and comedically, melodramatically collapsed onto the couch in exhaustion and actually fell asleep with my legs hanging in the air off the couch and shit, right next to my goddaughter who was also passed out. And she fired me. Because I didn't "take her outside enough", which she never instructed me to do or taught me how to do. Not to mention the fact that she never paid me once, and I just... didn't ask for money? Because I was trying to be nice? Because both her and her husband were like... not parenting their infant child and just going and working jobs instead, while I watched their kid for them.

Meh, enough about that. See what it does to my head though? Nostalgia is nice... sometimes... but it can be bitter, and if you have an especially dicey past, it can turn sour real quick. So... I do appreciate her sentiment, she left a really kind compliment that seems sincere. And the emotional processing from the past? That's my job, I gotta just remember... that's in the past. I just... I feel bad for my goddaughter, and I miss her. She was the closest thing to a daughter I've ever had, besides my dog and cat, of course. The closest thing to a human daughter I've ever had. And she may not have a great role model for like... healthy emotional regulation. And I worry about her. And I do kinda feel like... that's kinda part of the godfather thing, to step up and like... be there. But at this point? I was envisioning this when I was making dinner. I feel like if I ever even do that, I'm going to be the uncle or aunt figure at the family dinner that they haven't seen in 10 years and pulls the teenage kid aside and goes "you know, I used to change your diapers, do you remember me? No? It's okay, well... if you ever need to like... talk or anything, I'm always here for you." And they'll wince through the awkwardness and then go off and play something on their phone and sigh and mutter "weirdo". But like... is it worse to not even try?

That's a quandary for another day, I just went down that line of thought because I was kinda imaginatively strategizing what might happen if my former friend messaged me. To... prepare myself.

So yeah, lots of ups and downs today. Sleep deprivation, panic, nap, social media strategy, posted the video, made dinner, watched streams, Risk of Rain, journal, and off to bed we go.

Gonna try to sneak a quick shower in before bed, screw it, see if that helps with more relaxing sleep.

To end on a more uplifted note... The Path was one of the more ambitious projects I've taken on. It was very new, super conceptual, very "risky" regarding whether anyone would "get it", also very tedious and demanding. I did the 100 runs in Minecraft, with 3 screenshots per run. I hand-drew each path, twice. I animated each path individually. I composed, played and recorded 12 minutes of original music for 4 guitars, bass and drums. I wrote the script, I recorded the voiceover (on Easter day!). I hand-drew and animated the parts of the voiceover that I couldn't really figure out what to put under, as though they were being drawn on a whiteboard. I shot cinematic B-roll in Minecraft, Google StreetView and a real life National Park. I edited it all together.

And now... it's done.

Fuck crowd reception, this was months in the making. I am goddamn proud of myself.

[knowlessman]

bonko no honko I ran out of good jokes a long time agodemia (bnha)(if I ever had any) s3e1-3

(I forgot about the prequel minisodes but I'm already here, maybe I'll watch them later idk)

ooh this OP's got a pi-aner in it. I dig it. some of the opening bits sort of reminded me of homest - why is bakugo swole wtaf

(void teleport business slenderfrend watching all might on tv) patrick star: I hate this channel -- why IS slendervoid so fucking dapper tho

"worst character? worst-character-in-training?"

…"Vlad" has orc fangs instead of vamp fangs : \ huh

there's that "be a fuck[bleep]ng superstar" thing again. it's so jarring every time -- (going down the list of all of Class A's quirks) …like, yes, we do know all these things already, and it is recycled footage, but I'm not finding that I mind it -- I knew they weren't gonna do the same for Class B's but. I mean. idk

"you said you were gonna use the pool for endurance training, right?" already hovering finger over the right arrow key -- breaking news: anime school has girl's swimsuits that are actual clothes. granted, figures it'd only be for a joke

guy with literal jet engines in his legs: hey, who wants to do a race? -- oh come on, none of you are even touching the water -- iida you fuck 'XD I thought you were the rules guy

(flashback) the bit where deku says "you haven't put a single scratch on me yet" when all of his fingers are broken and todoroki is at full health is still fucking hilarious tbh -- (still flashbacks) "I am the younger brother of a hero you attacked" also still reminds me of that "do you have ANY IDEA how little that narrows it down" meme -- yes, yes, you're all protagonists, this is a recap episode huh

"don't hold back on me, half n half!" "okay" freezes bakugo and deku and wins easily -- (eraserhead butts in) hehehehehehehe -- ("pool's closed, go home") aw dammit, I wanted him to make them do the last race legit 'XD

…has this show been doing these Marvel-ass after-credits scenes this whole time? …well, hopefully it doesn't mean I've been missing any needed context when I didn't watch the credits all the way through

"what, Class A is taking extra classes? did you fail? did you fail?" oh shut up Ditto, I gave up liking you ages ago

who is this Charlie-Brown-side-character looking mfer, what's their deal 'XD

uh…… huh. well, the Jellicles have arrived.

who's the grumpy kid who looks like he wandered in from Bleach. …or Digimon. idfk. he their manager? is he hiding cat ears under that hat?

(wonders something, checks the dub) aw, I can't even comment on what they translated God Explosion Murder (you know, that guy who got kidnapped by the slime monster)'s catchphrase to in English because if I type it here FB will ban me : [ (also I'm too lazy to change these much before posting em to tumblr regardless of what order I do em in)

am here for action banjo I guess

kaminari that thing is literally made of dirt, it couldn't be any more obviously Ground-type wtf

…o-kay. mineta gets a new friend in superhell tier I guess

wheeeeeze 'XD what the fuck, I can't - what - why? fuckin' brat just punched mr nice guy in the balls -- guy whose sole defining trait is bullying deku: "heh, he reminds me of me"

"hey kota, can you bring those vegetables? they have a sticker on them that says Vegetables in English, but don't look at it too closely, you'll get a headache" what did the artist(s?) think we were gonna think was in that box anyway?

ugh, not hot springs, we just did this gag

deku looks pretty darn normal when his head isn't on an anatomy figure : |

yooo, class b's here too, hellyeah

(going through how everybody is trying to level up their powers) all choji and hagukure have to do is hide and seek, huh. all this support tech and all and they still haven't invented anything hagukure can, idk, wear or use that's as invisible as she is or that can become invisible?

swolecat might be okay

secret hideout? isn't that just the cave where they had tokoyami doing his crona-ragnarok training? -- (camera pans to show a hole in the cliff) is kota a cognate for kyle? also is that meme still funny? idk

literally a cenobite. who let clive barker into the writing room, this is a family show. …that occasionally says "fuck" in the background.

dancing boy is waiting for a full party

why does it not surprise me that bakugo's apparently good at cutlery. he probably says "die" in his head as he chops

("bravery test" game thingy) …yeah no I'd better not even try to understand this one, I still haven't gotten around to googling what a cavalry battle is -- "revelry in the dark" kthx sasuke allen poe or wever

'XD they passed up the opportunity to pair bakugo with deku and decided to stick him with half n half instead

is it zombies again. or midnight. -- oh, it's dancing boy making a move. hm.

no after-credits scene this time, only spoilers. maybe it's only for first and last episodes of a season, who knows.

got stuff tomorrow. …I think. stoppin here for now.

[silvermuffins]

Pokemon Scarlet Livblog! Part 7!

I have a goal of accomplishing three objectives in one part. Also the war with my E ky ragees on.

We lft off at thee Levincia lighthouse! oh tumblr is glitching.

A random trainer battle was like "Hey! Wanna buy this?" and I felt sure I was about to b faced with a poke-mlm scheme or a cryptobro.

Anyway, Rolycoly. Gonna name you Lizard. I actually want to complete the dex in this game, it's insane. Chank the Cufant. Plyfon the Voltorb. Oh! A Varoom! You'r Ponk now.

Picnic....which of cours mans naptime. Oh my gosh Pebbles sleeps on top of her hammer. She also now gets mad if I try to clean it. Today w are making a fruit bonanza sandwich, with lots of banana, and also...strawberry, apple, kiwi, pineapple. And whipped cream, marmelade, jam, and butter. Barely held together, the game was glitching graphically, and i lost a berry, but i got it!

special fire tera kirlia! with volt absorb...oooh. Now how to catch without killing...fuck i need to hope. OKay I broke tera. Crit capture! Okay! You're Palermo!

heey Arven tell me about the local Beast. oh hey he's being nicr about Koraidon. Okay, i found an exit (there is a cave too step to walk into)...there's a distinct Area in front of m and supposeedly thre's an amazing pokemon here but my marker's a ways west...

Well. I definitely see whre the herb hollow is gonna be. ?!?! Holy shit, shooting stars?!

one break for some christmas shopping latr, w're back! And I think I found the titan. Man from up on the watchtower this whole area is caves. Orthworm?! Don't mind Jupe oneshotting it. Twice.

Okay! Time to be sad again! As pr usual Koraidon want snac. Arven is getting less angy. Ooh! I get More Jump, thank god! So the remaining two are "climb stuff" and "glide", neat.

HELP ARVEN IS SO CUTE once again sada how do you know. Actually how does Arven keeep knowing when I'm somewhere near a titan? Nemona is stalking m and Cassiopeia has a tracker in my phone, but Arven and Sada...

Excellent, got into a battle with an Orthworm. Your name is Nood. Excellent, Ankles is volving, can swap out for Chonkster. FOUND GOOMY. Finoo.

I have reached Zapapico! Gonna take down Atticus soon....once I decide which Pokemon to use for that. Poison, so I want steel and ground... Town explored, found Torkoal! Kettelmint. What's this? Glimmet? You'll b Dohrts. Aaaa so many caves around here! Where am I now?'

sir if your baby is due any day now WHY AR YOU IN A HOLE OKAY i think I'v xplord almost vry hol in the ground. Now then. Atticus. I mean, Pebbles is a must, Sotero is a shoe-in, too. Daya hasn't done much in a while and will have levels if nothing else.

oh yah Clive is here. Kind of wish these cutscenes didn't move me, I am lost again. Love that you can se the trees all graffiti'd up. Oh goddammit you're a Zorua? I thought you were an Impidimp! Oh well. Oh fuck you the Oranguru is a Zorua too??? Okay YOU'RE a real Impidimp! Hraivin! And a real Oranguru, running into a wall for some reason. you're Galatz.

Found the base! Oh no, there's a kid. Listen to the kid, my guy, he seems to know what's up. ...awww this is the gamer base? KID WHO ARE YOU. ???? HY CLIVE NO I want in on the chitchat!

Navi squad....playing video games.... They totally named themselves after a certain fairy, didn't they. Ooh, atticus designed their outfits? And he's a bit of a maverick...

Oh my god this nerd. Oh my god he's in fucking cosplay. And now the car. ...wait h actually sent out a Pokmon it's not JUST the car this time? It's clearly the same Pokemon that's ON th car...maybe this is a bug. Or is that just...a diffrent Revavroom? Bc now Muk...okay yah it was a different Revavroom. This is a war of attrition.

oh....that's what h looks like under there. What a handsome fellow. such pretty eyes.....and of course, he was bullied. I LOVE THESE KIDS......i want to protect them.

ok no seriously can i just defeat all five bases and be the new boss and take over the world i don't want to destroy their safe space

so Team Star made it so a lot of bullied kids could go back to school... No big boss means no tam star means no good going back to school. Nobody has actually sen or met the big boss? Cassiopeia grows more and more sus.

A bullied recluse. Penny???

yeah mr director you're pretty out of touch

i am Hurting

Yes, Cassiopeia. Enlighten me. What are we aiming to achieve? Take down the big boss, okay, I could have guessed that. There has to be more to this. OKAY everything is good now Penny is here!

Taking the big boss down will protect Penny's treasure...

Alright. Next....i ascend the peak, tackle the ghost gym, then had south for the psychic. Then I'll do the desert titan and Eri's squad...then it's just ice, fairy, and dragon, thn the capstones to each plot.

Okay I have consulted the Nebula and I am gonna approach Icefuck Mountain from the west. Which is Medali. i have the correct west this time. Once we download an update.

Found a Cetoddle oh my gosh look at it. Baby. ...o.o okay so i just watched the baby eat a vigoroth. So, your name will be Slotheater.

ah heck that's probably my worst sandwich yet...oh this is not where I'm meant to be. OH I FOUND A DITTO. You'll be Fred. Okay now we are properly en route to the ghost gym! I have also been advised to do Ortega before Eri so we're doing it that way now. TOEDSCOOL i am not going to kill it this time! You're gonna be Hogus.

Got it~ Okay and then we go up icefuck mountain, because it just isn't an rpg without at least one icefuck mountain. Chonkstr finally evolved, we'll get a level on Vani before we swap out. Next we need...sunkern, kricketot, and rookidee, then happiny, since som of those will happen real quick. Bob is only here to fill my dex so I'm using a sun stone right away. The rookidee is going to take a while, though...okay that's the cricket, so it'll be Happiny next.

There's Sunny's evolution! Now just gotta befriend this brat and level up and she'll evolve again. ...oh that was fast, turns out three baths and a yummy sammich will do it. So Azurill is next! Let's try the same techniqu for friendship....

I JUST FOUND SIX EGGS IN MY BASKET AT ONCE?

Okay Balto has evolved once, and Orb will be an Azumarill in no time....if it ver warms up to me. Hm. Happiny went much faster. THERE we go. One more level and Azumarill. doot! I don't hav a Surskit, never went back for on, so nxt is Buizel. And I think i'll actually start heading up Icefuck Mountain now.

OKAY up th airy mountain down th rushy glen! Nanze the.....first ice typ Jupe dosn't murdr. Snover. Mechalli the Sneasel. Koeagal the Cubchoo. Havdy the Bergmite. Camdycor the Snorunt. Tachulca the Delibird.

Oh, sure, THAT'S a safe place to be (on a narrow cliff, over about a million foot drop, in a blizzard, cornred by a floatzel)

aaaaaaa this cliff doesn't go anywhere

[ALL SCREAMING]

it's fine we're fine

AAAAAAA I FELL OFF A DIFFERENT CLIFF

what is tatsugiri it's strong wait is that th psudo

im gonna name you Maya. Ooh and here's a boy to name Tatsuya, because I am An Nerd. I think this is yt anothr version? nope it is not. Oh but THIS is! This on can b Lisa.

wherever th hll I am is th prettiest picnic spot. One horrifically spicy sammich later...

there is a cav hre...what's inside? Pokemon. Frigibax. You can be Zartd. Oops nvermind, you faintd and thre isn't another here. Ah! Mermert volved! Swapped for Psyduck. Whoa, hello Hawlucha! Annnd it died. Found anothr one you can b Rhumbacho.

We are going to fly back to Glaseado's Grasp bc otherwise im stuck here...thr's a wild flaron just chillin here....oops i killd it. Gonna ned this lady snorunt. Zaleet.

How the hell do I gt where I'm going??? Oh well. This femal Glaceon could be my tickt to more eeveelutions. You'll thusly b Mamedar

I MADE IT. Oooh, hypr training is back? oh! this sushi place has an xclusiv menu! Whether or not I accomplish my third objcetive today depends entirly one the gym test.

[nkogneatho]

🎉 NEW GAME: Introduce your mutuals to everyone and what do you think of them? 🎉

Okay let's do this. (I'm sorry and tell me if I forgot you. I get lost in the mentions and tags)

@venussins - this is Loni. She is that one amazing friend who is the sweetest but also very kinky. I love her.

@hisvillainess - Ryuuu. She is Sukuna's Defence Lawyer in case you didn't know. I hope she wpuld notice me but all her attention is on worm-kun aka her husband😔 i love you baby.

@laudthingcat - Winter is very supportive and mature. She is always there for you in your worst and we love her.

@licantropa - Nymph is the hottest mom on block. Very dominating and nice. Praise kink go brrr.

@tteokdoroki - Aali is an angel and she is very cute and supportive.

@httptamaki - Snow is a hardworker. I don't say this often but I look upto her and I respect the work she puts into anything.

@nozomiasl - Maï is mine and Suna's. She is amazing.

@nanaminswaifu - Monica is an angel on earth. She is amazing and she deserves so much more. Very talented, supportive and caring.

@katsukisbimbo - MY TUMBLR TWIN. I love mae. I was so scared to talk to her first but now? I WOULD DIE FOR HER.

@jthebeauty - THIS IS JEN, MA FEMME. Very talented and very lovely. You'll fall in love right when she speaks.

@sauza - Another angel that this world doesn't deserve. Sauza is super talented, and hardworking. They are a very good writer, a very supportive friend. They are caring and I love how nice they are towards everyone.

@rayhaitani - THIS IS RAY, MY LITTTLE SPOON. I kick the wall everyday because I can't smooch them and show them how much they mean to me.

@chronic-claire-universe - Claire-a-bear. She is my baby. I love when she calls me mama. Another talented person here😚🤍

@katsukisdynamite - The moment I interacted with her, I knew she was a Bakugou fucker. I love Dyna. She vibes with me😚

@katsukichu - KASURI IS MY TEDDY BEAR🥺 It's a shame that the world only has one kasuri, coz she is amazing. She lights up ny world.

@thesimphouse - Saraaaa. The friend who always hypes me up and who I am the comfortable spilling tea with.

@sunascumdoll - Bamboo. She my boo. I want to show her how much I appreciate getting to know her and being her mutuals. Any suggestions fellas? Cause this pretty person deserves all the happiness and love.

@half-baked-biscuit - Well, who doesn't love biscuit? We all do, baby. Let me tell you, her works have so many pure emotions that you can feel it. Love her.

@getoswhore - Asiaaaaah. This js the continent I live on so I love my continent. Bdbdjs okay that was lame, but I love how asiah will always hype you up and encourage you.

@fuwushiguro - Luxe is also one of the person I look up to. I admire her work and it inspires me. She my anus🥺

@izanaphoric - DION ES MI ZORRA Y MI ESPOSA. I cheated on her but she still loves me. We don't find more people like her in this generation so she's a keeper 👀🤍

@cyancherub - Cass is someone who is very talented and I nearly piss my pants trying to interact with her. Not gonna lie, sometimes, it's like "Notice me, senpai." Jokes aside, 🙇🏻‍♀️ Bowing down to the queen.

@stariwrites - Stari is a sweetheart. I want to steal her from Aki. She is talented and amazing.

@hanmasin - Nire is a Kisaki fucker y'all. RED FLAG. RUN RUN RUN. Okay but she is amazing. I'd kiss her but I don't want to kiss kisaki indirectly.

@kyoutxni - I bully this fella right here. Leo is a kinky lil whore hiding in a harmless sweet lil person's body.

@ravenina14 - Vey interactive and a lovely person🥺🤍

@kentosovertime - Naoya fucker. But I love her. Mommy asf. I'm also scared of her sometimes 😬😵

@earlesskitten - IS THE BAE I LOVE. Taiji will always praise you for the goods. 🥺🤍

@erenscockslut - Pala has some wierd obsession with blocking me and then unblocking. But hey! Who cares? I still have her😚😌

@sugarbooger513 - It's in the name folks. She ma sugar boo. Okay but on a serious note, Ash is talented, supportive, caring, AND AMAZING.

[kakiwrites]

the first poem

Genre: fluff and a little bit of comfort

Warning: contains bullying near the end

A denki Kaminari x reader

Synopsis: A time where elves, fairies, dragons, and other wonderful creatures live in harmony, how would you choose to live? On a pirate ship? Making potions? Who do you stumble upon along the journey? A soldier, a poet, a king? Well, that’s for you to decide.

(masterlist is pinned and is under navigation!)

a/n: hey guys! This is the first actual fic on this account (besides all the reuploads) so I am very excited! If you guys are curious as to why the ask is in a screenshot it's because it's from my old inbox. Feel free to add more requests in my ask box! Let's get started!

 "your majesty, there is a barb that wants to speak with you." one of your knights said to the king.

 Your father was a kind man, who let you do whatever and is okay with boys courting you because he knew that not all boys are that bad which was very surprising. So you weren't surprised when the king let this mysterious bard into the castle to meet both of you in the throne room.

 The blonde bard walked into the room, accompanied by 2 guards. The boy bowed in front of you. You could see a glint in his eyes, a glint that you've never seen before in a boy. He looked more mysterious.

 He looked more interesting than the others.

 He stood up with confidence as he walked over to your throne right beside the king. He got down on one knee, took your hand, and kissed it. You blushed darkly, looking at your father for approval but he just had this smirk on his face like he already expected it.

 The boy pulled away then walked back to where he stood earlier, facing you with pride, he took out a piece of parchment and cleared his throat.

 He looked into your eyes as he started to recite a poem that he, you guessed, made. It was about the sky and how you were a flower that bloomed as you basked under the sunlight. But you didn't listen to him.

 You were hypnotized with the way he stood and the way he spoke and pronounced the rhymes. Was this feeling of falling in love?

 This was the first time you've felt this before.

 You looked over to your father who was smiling with joy. He glanced at you. He looked into the shine in your irises to see that you liked him not like the other courters. You liked him for real.

 And he would do everything to keep it like that.  

  He introduced himself with Denki the bard, a charming fellow who knew just how to make you smile and giggle. He would ask your father if he could bring you somewhere like downtown or out for a stroll and your father will say yes, no questions asked.

 In a few days, Denki gained the king's trust. even without guards, he would allow you to go out with Denki because he knew you would listen and that Kaminari would protect you with his life.

 On a stroll in the gardens after a few months of dating, Denki recited the first poem he made for you the first time you met with the same confidence, with the same gestures and stances as the day you first met.

  As he said the final line, he got down on one knee, kissed your hand like the first time, and said words that you never expected to come out of his mouth.

 "will you marry me, my love?"

  When your father found out you said yes, he immediately told the maids and guards to spread the news so you could celebrate with an elaborate ball. Safe to say, everyone in the kingdom was excited.

 Kaminari was bouncing around the halls while he helped out the butlers and maids. You decided to help out while the seamstresses sew an elaborate gown fit for the celebration.

 "are you excited, my love? Your father accepts our betrothal! We can finally get married and start a life together, in the palace or out of the palace!" he said excitedly, taking you by the arms before spinning you around the empty ballroom.

 You laughed and nodded before leaning in and pressing a quick kiss on his lips to calm him down a little bit. "I'm as excited as you are, honey. Just save your excitement until the evening. So we can dance the whole night away." you told him before taking his hand then resting your other on his shoulder and started swaying to the imaginary melody.

 "I can't wait," he whispered, kissing your forehead as he spun you around him, following the tune of his heart.

  Dusk fell and guests were filing in. you waited next to your father as you saw the townsfolk came in their fanciest suits and gowns. Dukes and dutchesses flocked in their foreign ad colorful attire.

 Unfortunately, the dutchesses that wore these wonderful colors, carry mean and cruel words.

 "she wore that?"

 "I heard she was betrothed to a bard and not a prince. The kingdom is doomed."

 "maybe only a bard could love a princess that ugly."

 You looked down at your dress, feeling your father's hands caressing your back to comfort you. You felt tears sting your eyes as you let their lies sink in.

 "you know, I can't let the prettiest princess mope around right?" you heard someone say. You looked up to see Denki in a dashing navy blue suit, holding out a hand for you.

 You smiled and took it, letting him pull you into the middle of the ballroom to follow the fast pace song the orchestra was playing.

 At that moment, the comments and their thoughts didn't matter. The only thing you saw was the love of your life in front of you. You danced until your feet became soar and the cheers of happiness from the townsfolk grew louder.

 Denki ended the dance with a long, passionate kiss that could make any princess or dutchess jealous.

 And he succeeded in his goal, looking at the dutchesses who were looking away in loathing of the bard being engaged to the prettiest princess in the land.

 Finished this at 11:30 pm on a day that I have to wake up by 6 am because of school so this might be pretty bad I edited it as best as I could to make it better lol. Requests are open, not only for this but also for general requests not involving this series so please don't be shy to request anything! Love you guys 💕💖❤️

General taglist (don’t be shy to comment your tumblr @ below: @tokyoghoose @macaronnv @brainwqshed @reogou @lnarizakis @himichii

series taglist  (don’t be shy to comment your tumblr @ below!): @astrxrism ​ @kurookinnie @isentsworld

[rpbetter]

Urgh. Okay, full disclosure, I haven't been on tumblr much over the last week or so, because I was one of the people that Raven initially called out after the COAR mess, and it was in the interest of my own mental health to fuck off for a while so I didn't stress myself out into oblivion. So I'm scrolling through most of this stuff for the first time, and talking to other people who were targeted. And pardon my French here, but I'm fucking disgusted at the lengths Raven has gone to assert themselves as a victim, how many people they've affected, and the waving around of something as serious as suicide for brownie points.

I have sympathy for people who overinterpret things in a strictly emotional and mental sense (actual reactions aside) because they lack the maturity. There's always a reason for that, and it's not their fault. And I have sympathy for people if they legitimately feel suicidal. That, too, isn't their fault. If I hadn't been blocked, I would've reported Raven in case their claims were true as well, because yeah, I don't mess around with that stuff either. But what's unacceptable is how Raven acted on those sentiments and behaved towards others, even after people tried to provide perspective. How Raven claimed to be done with the drama, but continued inciting it; how they claimed to be suicidal and had left tumblr, but wrote what amounts to a "fuck you" in their header and were still putzing around on their blog, and were apparently still editing their posts until as late as today; how they claimed to have deleted but only changed the url; how they weaponized all of this stuff and used it as a tool for guilt-tripping. Like, come on. It's okay if you're down in the dumps, but it's not okay to treat innocent people like garbage, and carpet bomb half the RPC. To me, it really feels like there was an intent to weaponize all of their hurt, offense, anger, and suicidal ideations, despite the possibility it did come from somewhere genuine, and that's so harmful to anyone who is actually struggling with depression.

Every time someone weaponizes mental illness in this way, it just makes people more and more apathetic the next time someone is genuinely just hurting, and saying they feel like they're at the end of their rope. And it makes people suspicious of whether those words are being used maliciously, or legitimately. That suspicion and that association is now there, unconscious or not. And every time this kind of stuff happens, the association gets stronger. What happens if Raven does this again? Some people will still report, but some people might just scoff and walk away - people who might've actually acted before. So in a way, that kind of behaviour impacts Raven as much as it impacts other people.

And you know what? They're not the only one dealing with serious shit. I've been suffering from MDD for the last fifteen years, and I've been in the process of changing medications and having little success for months. I've been going through hell offline. I have a shit list of people I want to yell at because they're dragging their feet on really important things I need to function; I'm constantly running a deficit on spoons. Until a week or so ago, roleplay was one of the only ways I could unwind. So for Raven to bully me by sticking that stupid post in my tags, because they needed to make a scene on COAR, which I was obviously going to comment on (like many other people), then to "like" an unsubstantiated callout about me and other innocent people related to that mess, it's only worsened my own mental health. It sounds melodramatic, but really. Someone else mentioned this too, but the fear of being in another callout, and the fear of that first callout somehow exploding, was in the back of my mind all week, despite being away from tumblr. So that was a little anxiety-inducing, much as I tried not to think about it.

And I'm debating whether to return now, or take more time off, and I have no idea what to do. Because that callout post is still in my blog's tag. I'm freaking out because I was planning on approaching some people to roleplay, which is something I rarely ever do, but now I'm concerned that I'll contact someone, they'll look at my tag to get an idea of my writing/partners/who I am, and see the callout post, and immediately dismiss me because even seeing the word "callout" on its own will send up red flags, by unconscious association with more impactful drama. And as long as that callout is up, these fears are going to be there.

That's just not fair.

And Raven's "apology" is completely unacceptable. Like you and others said, it doesn't reach anyone who needs to hear it, because they've all been blocked. I would fucking love an apology if it came from a place of honesty, but am I going to receive one? Probably not. And even for the followers who can still see that apology, it doesn't address anything. It isn't directed to anyone in particular. It doesn't mention the specific behaviours that were wrong on their part. And miss me with the "my intentions were good" part. No, they weren't; going around blocks and sticking shit in peoples' tags is vindictive and entirely intentional in all the worst ways, and shame on them for pretending otherwise, and by leading with such a poor example for many roleplayers, some of whom are in their teens. One of the people who tried to message Raven (they, too, were called out on Raven's blog) was speaking to a nineteen-year old who was completely clueless about the extent of the manipulation Raven was pulling. They thought all of it was normal and acceptable behaviour. That genuinely terrifies me. And while I imagine if Raven was genuinely apologetic, they would've gone to the callout blog and ask them to delete the callout post (attempt it, at the very least), somehow, I don't think that would've happened given all of their prior actions. God forbid something else is going on there.

Phew. Yeah, I'm angry. Maybe I'm just biased and tired. But honestly, I have a right to be. Raven's apology is a handwave, and they know it. It's a slap in the face to me, to you, and to everyone else who was involved in this clusterfuck. They're not the center of the universe. They affected real people, with real problems of their own. Anyways, I am so sorry for this, argh. Really had to get this out, and I didn't want to dump it on discord or somewhere else; I sure as heck didn't want to go to COAR with it. But hey, maybe people here will feel less alone if I added my own account to the mix. The more, the merrier? In a sense, anyways. Sometimes if you feel like you've been singled out, it's nice to know you're not actually the only person it's happened to.

Sorry for saving your reply for last, Anon. It's such an important one, I wanted to be properly thoughtful!

I think that it is going to make some people feel less alone, and there is always some relief in sharing one's trials. That might be especially true when one has been unable to share them anywhere else. It's not like you can address this on your own blog right now, COAR is definitely not a safe place to do so, it's a very isolating feeling that is made worse for having done nothing.

Coming back and being required to wade through this shit was really damn disgusting to me as well, but at least in my case, I had neither been obliged to distance myself for the sake of mental health nor was I treated to the sickening display of drumming up ideas of victimization from someone who victimized me. What I experienced was just incredulity and disgust, I cannot imagine how incensing this must be for you, I am so very sorry. If it makes me angry having a degree of removal and watching in it real time? What you're experiencing...there really isn't a single word to adequately encapsulate that, I'm sure.

You've still expressed so many of the things I've thought and felt. I found all that initial behavior uncalled for, shameful, yet another display of what's actually wrong in the RPC, but it was increasingly upsetting to me the more I looked into it because it did feel a little (a lot) too reminiscent of the sort of bullying experienced in person. It's really something else to be viciously picked at by someone who keeps upping the game until such point as it begins to cause them trouble, then get to be painted the wrongdoer and punished in some way for it because they're presenting as a sympathetic victim. A more sympathetic victim than you, that's really what I mean, I'm just going to say it.

And that was already in swing by the time I got from the launch point to the smoking crater of then current events. I got to Raven's again after bouncing back and forth between their interactions with others, largely from COAR, yes, and the shit on the callout blog...to see...everyone else being blamed in increasingly drastic ways.

Because on tumblr, unlike reality, if you throw out enough times ahead of time that you have disorders people can get behind, you're more sympathetic, not less. So long as one has set that foundation and has others to broadcast it once convenient, any horrible action one undertakes is given a pass. Anyone disagreeing, anyone not tolerating the abuse, is in the wrong now. In the worst possible way, of course.

This whole thing began with incredibly unnecessary bullshit and every, I mean fucking every, further action taken was a new level of fucked up, but the trivializing of and damage done to the perception of mental health and differences is quite possibly the worst. Are those things that need any more of that? It's already such a problem! I already see suspicion and fatigue with this, every time it's given validation, it grows.

Even if I wasn't mentally ill, with one of the disorders that gets vilified even on tumblr, even if I were not autistic, even if I never knew a single person who suffered worse than I do from the the complications they won by way of being born, hadn't anyone I loved that took their lives, this would be extremely upsetting to me. Using the idea that "whatever I do, it's got to be acceptable because I am X" while not caring that anyone else is X, Y, and/or Z. Weaponizing it for bullying and sympathy simultaneously. Way too much. Incredibly gross and harmful, legitimately fucking problematic.

I want people to be taken seriously when they choose to speak of the boundaries their mental health requires, I want muns to be able to say that they are having a difficult time without it coming off (even to the rest of us with mental health conditions) as a ploy for attention/guilting for whatever action they desire be taken by partners, and I want people to take threats of oncoming, serious harm seriously. How are they to do this, when it is continually used as tool or weaponized against others? At very best, it becomes another thing to ignore and scroll by on the dash.

As we've all had the misfortune to experience or witness so recently, once it is weaponized, it's a problem of priority. I've said in damn near every message I've gotten that Raven isn't the only person involved here who has serious shit going on, but like the absurdity with trying to spin an accident as transphobia, or having the audacity to attempt speaking from a place of peace in a way that might benefit everyone, Raven included, resulting in a callout about being against ND people...it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter that any of us are neurodivergent, have serious chronic mental health complications, or are not cisgender. Raven was swinging that around like a flaming sword to drive off bigots real and imagined before we ever got their attention.

Attention they fucking asked for.

Reblogging that post from COAR was just like posting those rules. The intention was to get attention, and it was asked for with extreme hostility. I have no idea how that is coming off to anyone as simply them defending themselves. It was a great moment to either not out themselves as the person in the confession at all, not engage with it, quietly remove the post, or to reblog it and take responsibility in a meaningful way at that point. Can you imagine what a difference that would have made then? If Raven had chosen instead to reblog it and apologize for doing what they had. Just that. No shitty, snide little comments about how they're sorry, but still absolutely correct and here are five reasons why everything they've misconstrued won't be tolerated. Just an acknowledgment of wrongdoing, an apology for doing so, and awareness gained moving forward.

Their decision to interact with that post in the way they did wasn't just more of the same nonsense, it was actively upping the game. I don't really care if it was intentional bait or just continuing to let malicious impulse run free, it was used as bait. Everyone who interacted with that post was effectively consigning themselves to harassment, and if they happened to interact on literally any other topic that group held a passionately opposing opinion on, they were attacked for it. Curiously, it became necessary for them to be harassed by way of the callout blog, but that is getting a little close to off-topic, so, I'll leave it at that.

So, while I initially really wanted to have the appeal to Raven work because their expressions of regret that I was greatly on the fence about being genuine, I'd say those flags were accurate. I cannot believe that someone who took every opportunity to do the wrong thing is genuinely sorry. Sorry for themselves, absolutely, sorry for anything they did, not so much. This constant narrative I got of "they SAID they were sorry" and "they apologized again and again and took the posts down," including from Raven, is incredible. On that last one, they, yet again, couldn't actually address me.

Appropriate response: messaging me or reblogging that post (you know, the rules snippet I found right the hell there still, despite the claim of it being deleted and the final catalyst of me needing to say something after I saw that, nope, surely was not) with the acknowledgment of a single thing I said.

Extra appropriate response: ^ plus going to everyone who could still be located that they harmed with a genuine, individual, private apology.

Inappropriate response that was had: new post, shitty, childish tone like they at once wanted to argue with me and didn't want to drop the act, restating of this apology that had already been deleted and meant exactly shit while it existed, restating of how they deleted this post and couldn't control reblogs, ignoring that I literally reblogged the original copy from their blog.

Apology neither believed nor accepted. Just as it wouldn't be if my nephew came to my house, broke a bunch of my things, said he was sorry while throwing the pieces at my pet, then threw himself on the floor screaming that he said he was sorry when I told him to go have a time out.

(Yes, I absolutely did just make a comparison to a child, y'all can shit yourselves again. It's not my problem if you want to misconstrue "this person's actions are not befitting of an adult" as "Vespertine said autistic people are children!" Fucking miss me with that. I'm an autistic adult who pays my bills, apologizes, doesn't treat people like shit while trying to excuse it by being ND. You're offensive with that shit, and contributing to the negative perception people have of those on the spectrum. Be a good ally today! Don't valid that! Free ninety-nine offer!)

Again, sorry for yourself does not equal being sorry for what you've done. The former can contribute to the development of the latter, but as I said in a response yesterday, there has been no display of that beginning to transpire. I genuinely hope that will eventually be the case because that would be the best outcome, the only "best" outcome at this point. Even if it was two years from now, if it did happen, I certainly would not be kind to people refusing them any such growth in peace, and I hope that, by some distant chance, I get to prove that.

But...stating "my intentions were good" over any part of this is not remotely promising. When? Where? At what point? Oh, right, when you took it upon yourself to label a random mun you took issue with. That's when your intentions were good. Then, when you vehemently needed to defend that point by callouts and individual attacks under the guise of it definitely not being about your pride, no! It was the defense of everyone else! Defending the community by carpet-bombing it, yes. This is not a "the path to Hell is paved with good intentions" situation.

I am so disturbed about the nineteen-year-old mun, my god. I'm telling y'all, my anger and disgust almost reach what I think is a pinnacle, then there's something new like this.

I don't even subscribe to tumblr's ideology that anyone under twenty-five is an actual infant who needs be kept in a protective bubble and forgiven for all bad behavior with infinite kindness, nineteen-year-olds deserve the agency of the adultier adults they are becoming, but it is a transitional age. Especially today. Most socialization and formative ideas take place online, and by the time younger RPers are entering the adult sphere of RP here, they've already got some really unhealthy ideas. About themselves, about others. There is such a demand for rabidly performative action that gets internalized, it shouldn't be being heartily fed by people in the community they might look up to.

At that age, someone like Raven is going to be a person looked up to. They espouse all the right ideas, and it's an age in which aggressive interaction over those things is seen as amusing and correct, no matter how wrong the actions taken are or the basis upon which they are founded. When these people foster an environment of cruelty for questioning, of course, that is not going to be the natural response. The response is now going to be the requirement of being told otherwise with adequate proof.

I have suspected that many of the hateful anons I've gotten were from Raven's even younger followers who feel like it's normal, acceptable, and that everything they're being told by Raven's sales team over at the callout blog is absolutely true. Of course, they're now morally obligated to come harass me for the things they were told I did! I think it's likely that several of the anons people got were from actual minors, which is so many levels of scary and irresponsible. Really great example all around, yes!

Because whether it is one's intention or not, that is potentially exposing minors, or muns who are still close enough to be more negatively impacted, to who even knows what. As well as violating the rules of blogs who do not interact with minors for good reason, setting those blogs up for yet another callout for treating someone they didn't know was a minor the way they did or having "freak shit" on their blog. Setting up the other party to be treated with full hostility as an adult would be. Very cool, very responsible.

There is just so much here that is unacceptable, I don't think people who were not directly impacted or have never had a callout against them understand the results, and that is one more unacceptable thing you've been good enough to talk about.

Even while taking a break from the RPC, it affects you negatively. Wondering what you're coming back to, your blog is no longer a safe feeling space, and there's nothing you can do to "cultivate your blog" to change that. They've taken away the ability to simply block and avoid others, the thing that keeps all of us comfortable here as well as allowing that to be all of us no matter how disagreeable we might be to each other. Callouts negate adult behavior. Callouts mean that one doesn't know where more potential for harassment might be coming from, or how long we might have to be worried about that.

It would be a major concern for me as well about what putting myself out there to new writing partners might bring. What the success of that might be. It's incredibly unfair that they've made finding new people precarious and more unpleasant than it can be anyway. That puts all of the future of your RP here in question, and if you're like me, just dropping a muse, picking up another, and moving to a new URL isn't going to be a good choice for you. It isn't that simple if you dedicate time to a muse for a long period of time, when that's the case, that's the RP you want to do and have laid the groundwork for.

I don't know if it will help at all, but it has seemed to me, over the past several days, that there are fewer people in the RPC who are inclined to believe or support callouts than there once was. I was hoping that was the case, since there is always so much interaction on my posts against callout culture, but until this crap went down, I had no idea just how many people are not positive toward it. It has seemed to be that the people who are inclined to listen to callouts are just louder.

I've also noticed that those people have the same set of red flags, so maybe sharing that will help you or others?

They don't have simple, basic, reasonable Do Not Interacts. It isn't simply asking that minors don't interact because the mun is over eighteen, that muns writing a triggering topic not interact, or that sort of thing. No, it's URL dropping of specific muns, outright links to callouts or "receipts," and an accusatory tone about any topics or types of muns who shouldn't interact. Such as "nasty ass proshippers" or "pedo apologists shipping incest."

Their rules are reflective this as well. A statement cannot be made that they do not write, let's say, toxic ships and left at that. There will be some morality wank present about normalizing or romanticizing toxic/abusive relationships.

There are less assured flags, but literally, anything that stands out as an interest in RPC or fandom-based activism as opposed to an interest in writing, their muses, or even their friendships with a variety of muns. I don't mean a rounded-out interest in things, I really do mean a glaring predominance of buzzword-laden reblogs and PSA's while they've not written a reply, headcanon, or answered a meme in months.

I'm not saying any of that because I feel like you, or anyone else's, judgment is terrible or that you're oblivious to warning signs! It's just that when we've experienced bad situations, it can compromise our ability to see clearly. It becomes easy to see a potential threat everywhere, and maybe that seems contrary, but it's then easy to fail to see real threats from those we're blowing up. We question whether we're being just as judgmental as the people who wronged us, putting words in other muns' mouths and thoughts in place of their own as was done to us. While we still are afraid to be wrong in giving someone an in to ruining our time again.

So, please, don't feel like I'm questioning your intelligence or speaking from a place of ultimate knowledge, never making mistakes in such a choice! I just really hate that you, and many others, are going through this, and anything at all that I can think of that might help you move forward from this utter bullshit you've been through, I've got to try to grab it.

Because, Anon, like all those sharing their experiences these last few days, you sound like the kind of mun we need in the RPC.

You're someone willing to share with others for the benefit of others. You're being honest about your feelings of anger and even the hopeless sensation of whether it's even worth it to try to return, having your progress on and offline stomped on, while still maintaining a sort of fairness and calm that I know is not easy. Because that's the mature thing to do, it's the right thing, and unfortunately, those are usually the harder things to do as well.

You did the right thing in expressing your opinion and doing what people like Raven's group love to be on about, can only do through bullying: not tolerating it. I'd hate for the RPC to lose someone like you!

Just as your message matters to more people out there than myself, I have no doubt that your choice to not quietly allow this behavior mattered to more muns than you'll ever know. I'm sure that none of them would have wanted this result for you, but so many muns have experienced such toxic, bullying behavior over the years in which not a soul spoke up.

Many of you proved something very important with challenging Raven and the callouts blog, that unlike them, it isn't necessary for good people to even know each other to do the right thing. They have to dogpile and engage in cliquish behavior, what they do isn't coming from a place of inner ethics and strength, but what you all did? It's the opposite.

So, not only do I thank you again for sharing and providing the important support of simply not being alone to others, I thank you for being the example to the RPC that people dealing in callouts and generalized shaming cannot be, no matter their platform.

I hope that, whether you choose to remain, leave, or take a very long break, everything you've been dealing with starts to look up. I know it's easy to say things made hollow for their repetition and flippant use, like telling you not to let them win, or that their bullshit just isn't that important. So, I'm not going to say them.

It doesn't work that way when you're dealing with mental health concerns! You can logically know that this is just petty bullshit not worth being run out of something important to you, but that doesn't stop the worry, frustration, or depression. You can have all the determination in the world to hang in there, even the spite to back it up, but neither is a match for the things you cannot control coming from your brain. That is the cruelty of mental illness on the very best of days.

You have all of my respect, support, and genuine sympathy that this happened to you. No one should be allowed to continually and unapologetically go out of their way to throw a wrench into someone's hard-won progress. You did nothing to deserve this, and the people out there worth interacting with are going to be the same ones who will have no question of that.

Lastly, I also hope that some of the anons sharing their experiences have helped you feel less alone, or like you're not just irrationally upset. Please know that you're seen and supported as well! And that you are always welcome to talk more, vent, share successes here.

Thank you, Anon.

[ladyfeldspar]

By the power vested in me by my RNG, I give you...

6x09: Free Hat (aka the reason I broke the second disc of Season 6)

This is hella long, sorry not sorry.

Some days I think season 6 is my favorite season.

Tweek standing behind the other three at the SP sign will never cease to make me happy. <3

I hate ET because I think he's a creepyass little alien and I don't appreciate seeing him first thing in this episode. 😂

Okay but I love when Kyle's saying, "...to make ET more PC," he's doing little air quotes with his one hand, like:

Stan: "That's gay." Back when saying things like that was only mildly offensive and wouldn't cause riots.

I've never seen Saving Private Ryan, and I know that it's said that it can be really triggering for people who have actually been to war and everything and I don't want to diminish that in any way, but whatever I paused on here looks like some kind of nether realm squid ghost monster and it's amazing.

I love the progression of their expressions here: angry, unimpressed, concerned, and "why is this happening?!"

And they're all so excited for Star Wars, that's the cutest fricking thing! I would love to see Tweek and Craig watching Star Wars together, just try and tell me that wouldn't be adorable!

ALL OF THEM ARE SO MAD! I fucking love when Tweek gets the little angry eyebrows.

I will never ever not want to hug him whenever I see Tweek shiver like crazy while the other kids just stand perfectly still.

The message in this episode is actually so good though. "Movies are art and art shouldn't be messed with!"

"Yeah we could form a club that takes food stamps from poor people and then we could sell them back to the government for a profit!" Tweek’s face here is priceless.

Poor Tweek. There's kind of a pattern in these episodes where multiple times he tries to stand up for himself or walk away from the main kids, but Cartman bullies him into staying and it just breaks my heart. As opposed to Craig in the Pandemics who's just like, "Fuck this." And as much as I adore all of the S6 Tweek episodes, I'm really glad he didn't stay hanging out with them for any longer and that he went back to the group of guys that are actually his friends. <3

"I'm not, I'm not a team player!" 😭 That being said, I could listen to Tweek talk all day.

"You have to offer fabulous prizes if you want people to show up to your stupid crap!" is just the S6 version of, "More people will come if they think we'll have punch and pie!" 😂

Stan: "Tweek, you go make fifty hats." Look, okay, I don't hate Stan, all right, but what the hell dude, go make your own hats! Why would you give the anxious kid a big responsibility like that!? At least have Kyle help him or something. Like you say you need to get the gymnasium ready which means what, make a banner and set up some chairs? And you're telling me you couldn't have split up the making of the hats? Jesus Christ.

(Yeah, okay, I know, chill out, they're 8.)

I posted this on my Tumblr before, so I'm not going to do it again, but that TINY LITTLE SHRIEK THAT TWEEK DOES after his dad says his name. I just. Literally. Die. Of cuteness. Every single time. It's my favorite Tweek shriek of the entire show, hands down.

On another note, his bedroom is so empty in this episode compared to in Tweek x Craig! I wonder what changed between here and then.

Tweek being able to calm himself down with some meditation is honestly so cute. And look at his happy place! I would love to have this on a shirt or a bag or just like as a piece of art hanging on my wall or something.

Cartman's giant face showing up there. 😂 I remember the first time I saw this episode that actually startled me so much.

"I was up, all night, making hats! I only slept for an hour- and then I DREAMT about making hats! But I only made fifteen!" - This has been one of my favorite lines since forever. I make it my status on things a lot and then everyone asks me why I was making hats all night. 😂

I love Stan's expression here.

"I don't have nearly 1000 hats!" "They're gonna kick your ass, Tweek!" 😡😡😡

Look at this shot! It really looks like Stan is the only one remotely concerned about Tweek's well-being here.

We get so much of Tweek yanking on his hair in this episode. </3

How am I less than five minutes into this and I have talked this much?

The townspeople are literally so stupid. Good job, Skeeter.

Stan makes good speeches when he wants to. Although, you know, you shouldn't make promises without fully knowing what you're doing.

Only Tweek would think going on a TV show is terrible news. (Just kidding. I agree with you, Tweek.)

I've never understood the "1-2-3, dibs!! "Knee!" thing. Like I know what dibs is, but where I come from knees were never involved.

Typical Cartman. I feel so bad for Tweek, but I love when he looks down to see "Advocate of Toddler Murder" underneath him. Cartoon logic is the best logic.

There's also a lot of good Tweek shrieks here too.

"It's easy!?" "Yes... It is easy."

"We believe that films have to be taken away from people like Steven Spielberg and George Lucas because they're insane." The way Kyle matter-of-factly delivers this line kills me every time.

They honestly made SS and GL look so creepy. 😂

I like that Cartman's voice kind of cracks when he's like, "That's Steven Spielberg and George Lucas!"

Someone just let Tweek go home, please!

"Uh, we thought we were speaking for the children." "Yeah, we're children."

"I'm not a Jew!" 😂 Thank you, George Lucas.

Okay, full disclosure, when I first saw this I hadn't seen Raiders of the Lost Ark and I didn't get the big deal. 😂 But I do now!!!

"He...killed 23 babies in self-defense?" "Hat was attacked maliciously and unprovoked by a gang of babies in West Town Park. When that many babies get together they can be like pirahna!" 😂 I say this all the time.

Skeeter. 😂 Honestly, you are no help at ALL.

Second time this episode Tweek tries to say no and walk away.

"People aren't that into you, Tweek. They find you kind of annoying." This is so meta because I remember people complaining all the time that Tweek was a one-note character and that he had nothing really to add to the show and I just want to say SUCK IT TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE BECAUSE LOOK HOW LOVED TWEEK IS NOW. Everyone who was on board the Tweek train from the very beginning say, "Cupcakes!" 😂<3

These kids, man. I love that it’s so easy for them to just get into all these places.

"Get it, Tweek!" "Huh-uh!" I love the way Tweek says no. But, I mean, AGAIN, he tries to say no and Cartman bullies him. I don't think he ever really wanted to be in their group in the first place. I think they picked him arbitrarily in Professor Chaos because they saw him as weaker than them, and then Cartman just didn't let him quit.

The little debate about melting his icy heart with a cool island song is also something I quote often. AND THEIR LITTLE OUTFITS! I love that Tweek's is green and pink! I don't know what the hell is going on with the sleeves on everyone else's though.

"Those rams can do to us what they will, Mr. Lucas." 😂

Oh, George Lucas. You were so close to being a hero.

Stan: "Fuck you Steven Spielberg!" I've watched this censored so many times that hearing it uncensored is so fricking satisfying.

RUN TWEEK RUN!!!

The walkie talkies are such a nice touch. 😂

"The one with the cocaine problem escaped, Mein Director."

Mannn, I miss when they used to throw live action "commercials" into the episodes like this. This also is from the time where I was like hella attracted to Trey Parker so seeing his face is always welcome. 😂

"We always meant to have Imperial Walkers and giant Dewback lizards in the background, but simply couldn’t afford it."

Oh my God, I'm always so proud of Tweek for talking to this huge crowd of people and trying to get them to help him! His little talking through his teeth, like, "We are not talking about Hat right now, okay?!" He's trying so hard!

"Oh God, I'm gonna have to do this myself! Oh, God!" just breaks my heart! YOU CAN DO IT, TWEEK! 13 seasons from now you'll have someone who helps you believe in yourself, just hang on!

Tweek with the bazooka, oh my gosh, always makes me so happy. I can't tell you how much I wanted him to just blow them all the fuck up the first time I saw this.

"All I want are my friends. Except for Cartman, you can keep him." YEAH, TWEEK!

I hate that Steven Asshole Spielberg manages to talk enough crap to make Tweek hesitate. He was so close! I wonder how he would have felt if he actually did it though, Maybe it's better he didn't? It might have made his anxiety worse if he actually blew people up now that I think about it.

"In the tropical isles with the coconut trees, the air is fresh and the people are free, but here in the mountains there's no freedom like that, there's a man in prison and his name is Hat!" This gets stuck in my head so often.

It makes it so much better having actually seen Raiders, especially for this part. I honestly thought the melting faces was just a South Park thing but nope.

I also really love what they look like turned away with their eyes closed too. <3

Like what even is going on in this scene. 😂

Oh my God, okay, and I know that Hat is a terrible person and I want to clarify just in case, I do not think killing babies is funny, but just the way that baby crawls up the person's arm to avoid getting passed to Hat is always so so funny to me and I can never explain why.

Tweek being the only one to be appropriately horrified by the fact that Hat is being given a baby.

"Sometimes the things we do don't matter right now. Sometimes they matter later. We have to care more about later sometimes, you know? I think that's what separates us from the Steven Spielbergs and George Lucases of the world." This is still so relevant.

The ending of this episode is also so much better after actually seeing Raiders. 😂

And we close off with a 9/11 joke. Perfection, Matt and Trey, thank you & goodnight.

[wonderland-irwin]

Oh God now what's going on in 5sos land? I stg we claim to call ourselves the "5sosfam" but we act more like a manipulative attention hungry ignorant family more often than we act like a loving and supportive family. and when I say w "we" I pretty much mean the Twitter and hell even the Instagram stans bc us Tumblr peeps don't act like those peeps

Anon, I’m about to RANT. I hope you’re prepared haha. Sorry this is gonna be more than you probably wanted but I’m so fed up with it!

I am worried about the boys. Nothing new has happened all the allegations have either been proven false or a potential accident. I just worry about their mental health, their relationship as friends, brothers, and a band. And I fear their statement and what they may say. I have all my faith in them and their innocence, and if it comes out that they weren’t, I will have nothing left. I am trying not to think of that. I know that if one goes, all go. And I pray it doesn’t happen. I don’t think it will, but I live with this disaster named anxiety, and it’s putting that in my head.

I believe in them. I believe in them so much it hurts.

Anyways. Fandom.

This is not a family. When it began and maybe there were 500 fans of 5 Seconds of Summer who were all loving and supportive of the four members and each other, maybe it was a family. What this mess is now? Not a family.

Family doesn’t cancel people based on rumours and allegations without knowing the full extent of the story. Family doesn’t attack family member’s loved ones. Family doesn’t favour family members over another.

This fandom is toxic. Twitter and Instagram fandom is where it spends most of its time burning.

People praise Luke for apologizing and then bash Michael saying his apology isn’t good enough.

Then there’s the whole girlfriend thing. They are happy! All of them with whoever their partner is, are happy. Can’t you accept that? It’s not your right to tell them who they can and can’t date!

Fans are supposed to bring artists up, not down.

The band and so many of their fans struggle with mental health and all this fandom does is bash each other.

Even at shows. I’ve heard people bash the boys, each other, and I think I have yet to attend a 5SOS show where I haven’t been called a botch for some reason. Sorry I’m 5’7”. Sorry I was pushin past trying to find my sister.

And then Abigail. Don’t get me started on Abigail. She is irrelevant and looking for attention she doesn’t deserve! They didn’t even date!

Also, stop calling their girlfriends and ex’s names. Okay? They have names, and I get you may not like them, but that’s harassment and bullying. Sure they’ve made mistakes, everybody has, but try and be the bigger person then.

Also, who cares about the age difference!! If you, were twenty and dating Ashton, he turns 26 in July! That’s six years! Seriously who cares, if they are both legal, consenting adults, then it’s fine.

ALSO: the reason a lot of people remained neutral in the allegation situation is because those boys mean fucking everything to so many people it’s not easy to say good bye. It wouldn’t be. And with the amount of allegations that turned out false, I’m glad I didn’t rush to a side. I stayed neutral until I got the facts. I agree you have to believe the victim, but this was too much.

A L S O : I believe the entire situation was handled wrong. They should not be dealing with that online. Get lawyers. Please. This was so incredibly dangerous!!

ANOTHER THING: you have no right to “expose” anyone. Cancel culture is sick and disgusting and unless you are perfect, which you are not, you have no right. Call out people, yes, but not like how it was done Friday. That was disgusting.

I feel like I forgot something... anyways.

In conclusion, I’m sorry I ranted. All this has been bothering me. I hate most of this fandom except tumblr. I am scared and worried about the boys. I hope they are okay. They mean the world to me.

Ashton, Calum, Luke & Michael all deserve better than this.