#love all your children equally not love them like youre a boomer parent

[friedbreadwombat]

Me giving my pokemon dumbass names: ha ha

People watching my screen from somewhere in the walls or something:

[morgan1413]

I guess to conitnur the chain,what are your headcanons for Alcithan. It could be anything,the sky is the limit

thanks for asking! I don't have a set way of thinking about this ship and I'm very open to all the different interpretations out there, but I might as well list a few of the things I think about the most 😄

- Ethan absolutely adores Alci from the get go, whereas she finds it much harder to show her affection due to decades of being neglected, however over time she learns to open up and appreciate her partners love as well as reciprocating it

- Ethan has mild autism/Asperger's, which affects his ability to do certain tasks and function in certain situations (getting dressed for certain occasions, making himself food on some days etc.) , Alci being her caring self is well aware of this and is more than happy to help if necessary

- One of Ethan's favourite pastimes is to snuggle up against Alci no matter what she's doing, on the surface she appears to be annoyed by this but she secretly adores being close to her lover

- Alci likes to tease Ethan but she doesn't really mean it in a cruel way, she just loves the cute expression he makes when he thinks he can't get what he wants and she just can't help herself

- To pass the time and help with bonding in their relationship, the two of them love to paint and write and create pieces of art together, they also take great joy in teasing each other and praising each others work during the process

- At first they did not share a bed and slept in separate rooms, however this made Ethan feel lonely and he would sneak into Alci's during the middle of the night against her best wishes (she was worried sick about rolling over and crushing him in her sleep) which were proven wrong and so she is now comfortable with them sharing the same bed

- Ethan being the tech savvy person he is, helps Alci set up a website for her wine-selling business (which he has convinced her to remove the blood from) and her own personal social media accounts (which of course she loves to post boomer memes from), Alci adores Ethan helping her with things and this is no different

- Mia has tragically passed away, and so therefore Rose and Alci's three daughters are considered as all part of the same family, and both parents love all their children equally

That's all I can think of for the time being, let me know if you have any questions or anything else you'd like to add to these headcanons 😊

[nerajaana]

Disclaimer: Not intended to hurt anyone’s feelings, these are my thoughts on some of the problematic parts regarding *both* the books and the fandom as an Indian woman of colour. Regarding the show, l’ve watched twelve episodes on the whole. Roughly 12 hours of my life i’m never gonna get back. I hated it, and after having read the books last year, I now positively loathe the show and the showrunners. Show only fans, pls don’t interact. I’m strictly a book fan, I neither know nor care about the show plotlines.

I love the Martells. Their personalities, their family dynamics, the absolute love they have for each other, being able to draw a line when it comes to family and politics, the lack of communication and functioning on different wavelengths that creates a wedge between the parent and the daughter is something that hits close to home. The abhorrent treatment of Elia and her babies, the lack of justice for their gruesome deaths (really grrm, your racism’s jumping out here) makes me equal parts angry and aghast. And Oberyn’s unjust and horrible death. Quentyn dying the way he did, in his attempt to prove himself. Sand Snakes’ thirst for vengeance for their father, Ellaria’s pleas to end such notions and wanting to move on for the sake of the kids. All these things makes me protective af about the Martells. 

(Kinda similar reasons why I love the Starks. Their personalities and the horrible fates they’ve been dealt with. And the fact that the both regions have never managed to be fully integrated into the Westerosi society - the northerners because of their religion and culture and the dornish because of their skin colour and culture)

But when it comes to representation? Do I feel that kinship, based on the fact that they’re people of colour in this predominantly white saga? No, not really, to be brutally honest. It must be the hypersexualisation, and the fact that it feels like the Dornish are the embodiment of every Oriental stereotype that there is. Case Point: Arianne’s introduction scene- what was the bloody point of describing her 😣ripe😖 pectoral region? Like, really, you old fart?! Sure, the old guy said that Dorne’s based on Spain, Palenstine and Wales (weird combination ngl) and I'll admit I don’t really know much about their cultures except for the basics. Other than the “olive skin tone” and probably the architecture - if the official art is taken into consideration - I am yet to see any similarities that go beyond that.

The author, a male white boomer, did a shitty enough job with depiction of the handful of characters of colour as it is. To be honest, it’s not surprising. People like GRRM create characters of colour in a medieval setting, say offhandedly that they’re based on the middle eastern or North African or mediterranean culture, and give us a depiction that screams Orientalism. Whether it be art or literature or motion picture. As it has been for the past 300 odd years. It’s nothing new.

What baffles me is the fandom’s attitude towards them. The Millenials and Gen-Zers. Really, folks, what the actual fresh hell? It’s either blatant racism or “stanning” a brutally murdered woman and her children, a toddler and an infant we know nothing about while ignoring the existence of the remaining Martells, the ones who’ve been given POV chapters and are fleshed out enough for us readers to know them. Y’know, beyond their names and appearances and how they died. Flesh out the ‘dead’ characters, wonder what could have been, write fanfics and head canons based on their ancestry and the circumstances and political situations they would’ve had to grow up in. I’m the #1 consumer of such material. What pisses me off is the way some people use these characters as props to elevate their favourite characters under the guise of paRaLLeLs or worse, replacements for the already existing ones based on the colour of skin alone and say they would’ve been a much better option - i don’t know about anyone else but I find it outright disrespectful. 

And, gods, don’t even get me started on the “harem” fics and the vilification (and worse, the doormat treatment. And the promiscuity jfc) in some fanfics to establish the white protagonist as the peak of purity or something equally baffling. Someone tell those writers to do a one minute research on what those “harems”actually mean. Gods

Either simply ignore the people of colour or make a teeny tiny bit of effort to educate yourselves before posting nonsense on the internet. And think twice before stanning a person of color for wOkE purposes. Outright racism’s preferable over that in my opinion.

We aren’t here to make y’all feel good about yourselves.

Just, do better ffs.

[cult-of-artemis-and-athena]

The Grooming We Sustained

I watched this video by Illuminaughty, about the history of Victoria's Secret (link below if you want to watch it). I realized and I couldn't stop realizing...

https://youtu.be/u7rTN2dIhso

Despite its flaws, the #meToo movement legitimately outed a number of extremely sketchy men, such as Harvey Weinstein, who used their cocks to gatekeep the entertainment industry or used their employees as a sort of personal source of sexual amusement. I think #meToo, by exposing the disproportionate number of perverts in the elite of society, inadvertently increased society's receptivity to Pizzagate and theories about The Lolita Express, because why wouldn't these perverts stop at legal adults, consenting or not?

To sum up the video, VS started in the 60s as a faux-upscale lingerie store which catered to men who wanted to buy lingerie for their lovers. At a point around the 80s, it was purchased by L Brands, which also owns Abercrombie & Fitch, The Limited, The Limited Too, Bath & Body Works, Express/Structure, La Senza, and other mall stores.

The problem with the brand was the founder/CEO, Les Wexner, who hung out with Jeffrey Epstein and defended him from allegations. He sexually harassed women at his office, sexually assaulted models, made inappropriate comments, and fired or demoted models who refused his advances. He was with L Brands in one form or another from 1963 until just this year, 2021.

My impression of VS within the past 10 years is that it's been what the upper middle-class white-bread American woman thinks is sexy. It's been the Olive Garden of lingerie.

In the 00s, however, I remember VS being a sort of prestige brand with teens as early as 5th grade. It was the brand for the girls who wore the pants that had "JUICY" written across the butt, and I remember being on the bus listening to boys (I must emphasize this is on a middle school bus) saying girls who wore those pants were trying to advertise that they were "wet". Claire's, a store with teen and pre-teen consumer base, was selling chokers that looked bondage collars. Abercrombie & Fitch was in trouble with parents who realized the store their minor children wanted to buy clothes from sold A&F Quarterly, which contained soft-core porn, sexual commentary, and articles about sex. They were in trouble again later for selling thongs in the Abercrombie Kids store. The music marketed to minors contained questionable lyrics about being rubbed the right way, sweating til their clothes come off, and comparing themselves to a sex slave.

I'll be clear: Thongs and push-up bras, bondage collars, sexual photo magazines, and songs with sexual lyrics are not verboten on their own. The problematic part is that they were implicitly (or explicitly, in the cast of the A&F Kids thongs) marketed to minors, or at least did fuck all to temper their popularity with minors. A&F defended their A&F Quarterly magazine, saying that its intended audience was college students who were of legal age for the material. That is true. Likewise, the argument could be made that parents should parent their kids and set limits for what entertainment they consume and what they wear. That's also true.

However, minors were begging their parents for these things or simply accessing them on their own. If a teenager is just walking around the mall unsupervised (which I'd say they should be able to), the A&F or VS store, or wherever they'd go to buy Juicy-butt pants, wasn't going to card them. Claire's doesn't keep the pseudo-bondage chokers behind the counter. There's also an element of something approximating sensory overload for the parents. It's near impossible to screen everything, especially when the mainstream culture is designed by a cabal of rapists, whether intentionally, or simply because it's the cultural norm in the circles they run with. The 12 year old asked for some fucking bullshit pop album, the parent looks at the album and it appears to have a teenage girl/boy on it and there's no "parental advisory" label, so it can't be that bad, right?

For Millennials, VS was part of this weird push for sexual precocity. A lot of us were "not a girl, not yet a woman" and trying to assert our maturity and feel grown, which involved a lot of tight, short, low-cut, hiked-up, and thrust into a sexually appealing shape. There wasn't really a middle ground between children's clothing and that beauty standard. I suppose there was alternative style, but it was still cooler and more rebellious to wear your Jncos with your thong exposed, a slice of midriff showing, and "handlebar" pigtails. The Disturbed girlie tee that said "Mistress" was cool and someone in my 7th grade class had one. And you weren't alt unless you had a choker styled like a bondage collar or a blowjob gag. I was alt in middle- and high-school and remember there being pressure to be (or pretend to be) sexually open, kinky, and not have limits. This was middle school...

The culture at the time had such a racy tone that saturated everything because the people who architected it were perverts of the highest order. I would guess that parents probably overlooked what they were buying for their minor children due to mere exposure effect. It likely spread through "So-and-so's kids have that and they're decent people, too, so I guess I'll allow it." It's also possible that many parents were naive. I remember a girl in my 4th grade class wore a South Park shirt to school and got in trouble. Her mother said something like "I got it on vacation because it had cute cartoon kids on it and didn't think it was anything bad". I forget what setting this was, but a minor had a weed leaf shirt his mom thought was a palm tree. I think that's how a lot of this shit flew past the radar.

Boys were also equally victimized by this, similarly through media, music, and video games that would have been fine for an adult audience. They were pressured to act lewd, be ashamed of their virginity - retrospectively, it's ridiculous for a 13 year old boy to be making fun of another 13 year old boy for not knowing or doing some sexual thing, but that was normal and funny at the time - and listen to the most explicit music they could get ahold of for clout.

So...should teenage minors who are practically being beat over the head 24/7/365 by their hormones from age 11-13 onward be expected to remain innocent, sexless babies until age 18?

Of course not, but an entertainment industry and corporations run by perverts and literal rapists shouldn't have been the party that provided the sexual and behavioral guidance and norms to an entire generation. I don't think it's moralistic screeching to object to massive impact that rapists have had on popular culture.

The oblivious parents are partially to blame, but their ignorance wouldn't have been as harmful if there weren't a billion-dollar cultural machine in the picture mass-marketing sex divorced from love or responsibility to people who don't know better and saying, "Don't let your mom see this. It's a secret for cool people."

Boomer parents weren't exactly good, in general, about talking to their kids about sex. Susan spent the 70s getting her back blown out in the back of various vans with fur interior and water beds, and now she's too bashful to say "penis" and "vagina", and has to whisper when she refers to sex as "intercourse". Even a boomer who found the middle ground between 70s hedonism and 50s pearl-clutching repression is going to naturally have a hard time keeping ahead of cutting-edge, professional groomers.

The larger impact of all this takes the form of people who haven't woken up to realize how fucked up this all was, and how we may have been covertly groomed, in mass, by corporate pedophiles and rapists. Those people, perhaps, might be the ones so desensitized that it seems appropriate, if not preferable, to teach masturbation techniques to kindergarteners, promise teens they should start their sex work career on their 18th birthday, claim pedophiles are "just another sexual minority", and attempt to argue that queer acceptance means involving children in kink events and drag shows.

[pynkhues]

Love your analysis on Beth’s playing a role to control Dean—but now I’m curious about your thoughts on the ottoman haha

Oh my gosh, thank you for taking the bait and asking, haha. I’ve been thinking about the ottoman all week, because it felt like such a strange and very specific thing for the writers to bring up again in the context of Dean, Judith and Beth in 3.11 after Beth had made the joke about it to Rio in the bar back in 3.08. And hey! I get a lot of asks about writing and about critical creative theory, and how to develop both those skills, and I always give the advice to start by asking why.

So let’s ask why together, because let me tell you: if something in a story feels strange, and it’s specific, and especially if it’s repeated, it usually means the writers want you to notice. And if they want you to notice, that in turn means it’s either a) an important plot point (which, err, I don’t think the ottoman is, haha, unless somebody stashed some money in the thing), or b) it’s important symbolically (and sometimes both! The flashforwards on Breaking Bad in particular did that really well).

So yeah, I’ve been thinking a lot about the ottoman, and these two, seemingly flippant references to it, and ultimately it’s reminded me of a post I never actually wrote (classic Sophie, haha), about Beth and Judith in 2.09 and 3.02, and that kind of made a feedback loop in my head and - -

Look.

Basically I think it’s a symbolic rejection of Beth’s old life / Judith’s life; an important character beat for Beth, and an indicator that she’s more than what she was with Rio, and that she won’t ever be more than that with Dean, but that’s a lot. So.

Let’s break that down a bit.   

Mommy Dearest

While motherhood is a central theme of this show, I am perpetually fascinated by the fact that the only mother to the main characters we really know is Dean’s mother, Judith, something that does actually feel like a deliberate choice.

After all, I could write a whole fresh essay about how it seems that Beth, Annie and Ruby each function as mothers themselves in ways that reflect a multigenerational trauma, and, ergo, a damaged mother in their own childhoods – we learnt in 2.08 after all that Beth and Annie’s mother was bedridden with depression, if nothing else, and Ruby’s mother was widowed when Ruby was just a young teenager (to say nothing of the trauma Ruby must’ve faced herself losing her father at that age) – but actually…that’s as much as we do know about them.

Dean though.

Well. 

We actually know probably more about his family and his history than we do about any other character on the show. We know his parents were John and Judith. We know that his father created Boland Motors and that Dean inherited the business from him. We know that John cheated on Judith throughout his career, and that Judith briefly tried to go back to work herself as a shop girl before feeling forced back home.

We know that Judith sacrificed everything – her career, her autonomy, her body, her happiness – to give Dean the illusion of a perfect family. While Dean might not know all the details himself, he’s certainly picked some of the expectations of that up through his parents, because ultimately, he expects Beth to do the same. And she did! And still does, in many, many ways.

There are a lot of examples of this, but the biggest one, of course, is the arc across 2.07 through to 2.10, which culminates with Dean holding their children ransom at Judith’s house, blackballing Beth into caving, and then flat out not caring about her inner life at all in 2.10.

That entire arc hinges on a lot of things, but one of the most integral conversations within that is the one Beth and Judith have at Emma’s birthday party in 2.09.

A conversation that’s pretty sublimely paralleled in 3.02.

2.09 vs 3.02

Beth and Judith’s conversations at Emma’s birthday party in 2.09 and then in the Boland kitchen in 3.02 are in fact two scenes that are also in conversation with each other. They’re different, but they’re the same. They’re circling the same information, while offering new takes, bantering old jokes that pivot into new jabs. They’re great, and I know they’re nobody who watches this show’s favourite scenes, but I actually love both of them a lot, and I think they’re really important – not just for Beth as a character, but for the show’s themes overall.

The scene in 2.09 falls on the back of Dean having taken the kids, and Beth’s grief arc around that. She only gets the invite to Emma’s birthday party because Dean’s put her in a position where she has to ask for it, and within the first 20 seconds of Beth and Judith exchange while they’re cutting up Emma’s birthday cake, we get this absolute gem:

Beth: [Dean]’s a good dad.

Judith: So was John. Not much of a husband though.

Judith goes on to confirm  that John cheated (with enough women she “stopped counting”), just like she now knows Dean did, but that’s not the point, and it’s not the thrust of the conversation.

The throughline is that men might cheat, and you can leave them, but as a mother, your responsibility is to them. You have to sacrifice your own needs to give them the best life you can.

In both Ruby and Annie’s cases, these are moral sacrifices to create financial gains for those children. Ruby’s in a loving marriage and needs to pay for her daughter’s medication, so that’s all literal with her. For Annie, it’s not quite as literal, but explores a parallel morality by way of her empathy – she feels no moral guilt about robberies, but she feels moral guilt by way of Marion and Nancy, in order to provide for her son.

Beth’s not like them.

She enjoys crime. She empathises with others, but isn’t a bleeding heart like Annie.

All of Beth’s sacrifices are felt personally.

She dims her own light, her own passions, her personality, her needs, her ambitions, to fuel the light of Dean’s, or for their children.  

It’s a conversation she has again with Judith in 3.02.

Judith’s been helping out more since Beth went to work. It leads to a few confrontations across the episode, but the one between the two of them in the kitchen after dinner is pivotal. I could actually transcribe the whole conversation here, because it’s honestly awesome, revealing dialogue, but instead I’m going to break it down into three little blocks.

a) The first in that it tells us how much Dean diminishes and doesn’t think about his mother.

Beth apologises for the fight which Dean ignores, and Judith asks a simple question:

“Did Dean ever tell you that I worked?”

No, Beth replies, simply, effortlessly.

A telling thing for a couple who have been together for over 20 years.

b) It builds to Judith telling Beth about having Dean, and then –

Judith: Everyone’s fawning over this new baby boy, while I’m just…nothing. Empty. Flesh and hormones over ice.

Beth pours them both a drink.

Confides that she had post-partum depression too.

c) But that’s not what Judith is saying. Judith’s not empathising with Beth, she’s telling her to go home.

Beth: Your happiness was important too.

(beat)

Judith: How much does the card shop pay?

Beth: You shouldn’t have quit.

Judith: And you should be home for dinner if you don’t want the kids saying grace…what a lie, huh? That we can have it all.

This scene is sharp, and it’s designed as a narrative weapon against Beth, who is desperately trying to keep her family above water, and actually gives Beth the triple duty in terms of protective responsibilities.

She’s trying to provide for her children, of course, and trying to justify her own purpose outside of motherhood to her mother-in-law, while also concealing from Judith how much Dean has failed their family in every way.

Judith gave up everything for Dean, so what can Beth do except placate her?

The thing is, these two conversations have very, very different results. 

In 2.09, Judith’s conversation with Beth was a key part of Beth ultimately quitting both crime and Rio, and trying to revert back to the woman she was – the woman Judith would always be. 

3.02 had a very different outcome.

Beth didn’t quit.

She doubled down.

Not only that, it directly pivoted into a scene where Beth, Ruby and Annie were criming, fucked a part of it up, and Beth’s instant response is “What would Rio do?” trying him into that overall arc.

The Ottoman

Which brings us, finally, to the ottoman!

It’s an offhand joke in 3.08, right? Beth’s dressed up, and she and Rio are in one of their games of eternal bargaining after she robbed him and he replied by stealing literally everything she owned. She’s trying to earn it back, he says he has something for her, she jokes, “My ottoman?”

It’s not serious. She’s not serious, which already loads the term, but Rio’s response is equally light, equally dismantling.

No.

The thing he has for her is Boomer.

And sure, there’s a lot to unpack in that, but what’s important here is that Rio treated the ottoman as something as frivolous as Beth treated it. They were on the same page – in maybe one of the few moments they were all season.

He knew as well as she did that the ottoman wasn’t something she needed.

The scene in 3.11 is really different.

Beth’s literally dressed down, on the toilet, in the robe she wore when she broke up with Rio in 2.09. Dean barges in, tells her no one will give him money to buy the hot tub place, then instantly breaks into a diatribe about how his mother wants to give them his ottoman.

Beth: We don’t have a couch!

Dean: I told her that.

Beth: Good.

Dean: The ottoman will be here tomorrow.

[Beth sighs]

Dean: I know, I’m sorry.

[beat]

Dean: I just don’t want [Rio] involved again.

The scene serves the purpose of, once again, emasculating Dean – showing that he can’t get out from under his mother’s thumb in the same narrative beat that it tells us as an audience that Dean can’t wriggle out from beneath Rio’s either – at least not as long as he’s with Beth.

In turn, the ottoman as an object holds a lot of narrative weight.

It’s something Beth and Rio can joke about, and something that labours on Beth and Dean’s marriage.

On a deeper level, the ottoman is something that holds a purpose, yes, but needs other items to be complete.

On its own, an ottoman is a joke. With a couch, it’s a living room.

Beth wants the couch – she wants the career – she wants the functionality and purpose of it. She wants to build her home herself, not scrape around for leftovers, nor rely on superficial or frivolous function in the way that she did before she robbed Fine & Frugal.

Beth is a character bursting with purpose, utility, passion. She wants to build this new life, not accessorise it, and Rio knows it, and Dean can never offer it to her, and that matters to her, particularly as she tries to untangle her future from Judith’s.

What I’m getting at is that I think Beth made a very different decision in 3,02 than she did in 2.09. She decided she was going to do this. She was going to be less of an ornament in her own life, and it would take her away from her children but hopefully give her more function to provide for them, and notably for herself too, and I think the narrative symbol of the ottoman is that the domestic goddess / Judith image isn’t her anymore, at least not exclusively. It’s not what she needs, and Rio knows that, and can laugh with her as she makes a joke of it, while Dean knows it, but will never fully support or empower her in disentangling from it. 

[leam1983]

It’s the end of the work week and, well...

I’m having thoughts on labor culture.

My father was born in 1958. He lived as the son of an absent father of five children who had no ability to truthfully express his love and care, and who instead chose to bury himself in work as a means to display his commitment. My paternal grandfather made and sold mattressees and died quite young of a cancer strain that today would’ve seemed benign. He was described as a hard worker, either up to his neck in his business or wanting just a scant few hours per day to himself. It made an aloof lover out of him and a distant father - who still loved his wife and children to bits but who felt emotionally castrated in a sense, as were men of the era.

The family consensus is that his work killed him.

My father is now 65 and survived a bout of Non-Hodgkinian Lymphoma. The oncologist and anyone with half a brain agreed that stress was the culprit. Early on, Dad had the family as an excuse for his tendency to overwork. He had to provide for us, after all, and garnish my mother’s meagre savings. All she has is her government-issued pension plan, while my father does have his own pension as a retiree of the City of Montreal’s Real-Estate Appraisal service. Considering, he felt obligated to pull a heavier load to bring in more, so they’d have better investment opportunities. Later on, he kept working out of a sense of fealty and attachment to his division, breaking out of retirement during the pandemic to join the work-from-home team. He wanted to help techs and city officials find ways to bring more of the traditionally snail-mail-based parts of the system online so the city’s Land Management service wouldn’t be paralyzed by COVID-19. What was supposed to be a single month turned into four, which turned into twelve.

By the end, they were begging him to stay on the team and to pull longer hours. We’re talking twenty hours per day, in some particularly grueling stretches. That means being logged in by breakfast and scarfing bagels down with Urban Design techs on Zoom instead of your own family, or having supper with your boss because she needs a play-by-play of the situation to stave off her executive anxiety.

Long story short, I didn’t see Dad much during the first wave. His reasoning was that he’d eventually stop, pool all this cash, and chuck it into his and Mom’s Registered Retirement Savings Account - with maybe an extra two thou or so in case the country reopened enough for their postponed trip to Cuba to take place.

Guess what? His zona flared up and he ended up with odd, shingly bumps along his scalp which to this day the local dermatologist grimaces at and tentatively has us dab with cortisone cream.

Mom, though? She’s a retired and registered nurse with a self-negating streak and a chronic propensity to undervalue her own physical ailments. Someone who quite literally understands the pain of busted hips on a clinical level because she was trained in Gerontology - and also someone who refuses to schedule an appointment with her GP and who inexplicably self-medicates with white wine.

As for me, I’m a 37 year-old man with a paycheck I consider massive with its meagre six bucks above the minimum-wage threshold - someone who chose to shack in with his folks until the current crisis ends and who therefore has a history of a single, willingly terminated apartment lease that originally began in the Planned Housing market. The apartment I want is basically a Barbie doll house for adults, a gleaming fantasy I’ll never have enough capital to touch unless I feel like trying my hand with criminal applications of my skills. The apartment I can get right now is a shithole, and I have the audacity to think I deserve a shithole that at least wasn’t someone’s former cockroach den.

Now here’s the kicker: I value my sanity and my health. I know my mental stamina levels and I know from experience that after working seven-point-five hours per day with the occasionally shorter Friday, I’ve found my limit. I could invest more if I worked more, yes, and I’m already in a better position than my parents, retirement-wise. I’ll never be rich, but I’m already set to be comfortable, provided I don’t spend my golden years trying to make it as an unsponsored TechTuber or anything else that’s equally ludicrous.

Where that’s a problem is in the toxicity this is generating. See, I have the gall to slide my daily schedule later so I can start at an hour that fits my biological clock and ends at an hour where I’m at my most creative. That means the folks saw me spending my pandemic mornings on Animal Crossing while Dad was trying to wrangle Excel spreadsheets for non-tech-savvy fellow Boomers while preventing the dog from eating his meeting notes. That means they guzzled vinho verde like it was Kool-Aid after seven while I made sure to find more concrete means to distance myself from work - ideally ones that didn’t involve functional alcoholism.

Naturally, what was bound to happen, happened: Dad soon spent his evenings calling me shiftless or “unwilling to commit”, while I was stuck watching him miss all the cues his stressed-out body were sending him. We already had Trump’s last desperate months and a global plague to handle, I really didn’t want my work to turn into more of a nuisance than it already is. I already love the people I work for and hate what I do (repeating the family cycle, it seems), but I’ve at least decided to give myself ample Me time every single day. 

I’ve paired that with smaller, if consistent portfolio investments, along with a few new habits I wanted to get into to stay saner. Dad pulls crosswords or plays competitive chess in the wee hours, while I usually lay down to meditate around midnight and fall asleep by 1 AM at the latest. I’m half-expecting my father to pull a Tyler Durden and to sneer at me, at some point. “Self-care is masturbation,” he’d probably say.

Looking at classifieds for rentals, it’s obvious that the entire system is predicated on abuse. Work yourself down to the therapist’s office, right down to the fucking bone, and you just might earn a half-decent retirement because nobody’s taught you to invest incrementally. Nope, Society seems to say, you’re supposed to buy, buy and buy some more, until you realize you have ten years left to start from scratch!

I remember Dad’s face on my eighteenth birthday. “Why would you want a Disability Care Savings Account, Brain? You just turned into a legal adult by Canadian standards - you’re in no rush, right?”

I told him the real gift I wanted for my birthday, that day, was a ride to the family’s Financial Investments counsel. I pulled up the PDFs I’d printed out and filled and brought them over. From then on, if I dropped a penny in my nest-egg, Ottawa would drop another one. If my share grew, so did the government’s. In the twenty-odd years since, it’s expanded exponentially.

Dad thought I’d done this to have a big cushion by the time I’d retire. Mom thought I’d done this in case my disability worsened and I started requiring equipment or physical assistance. Honestly, my dumb, if slightly prescient eighteen year-old self figured I’d rather spend my time reading or playing video games than working. I knew I’d need something to help cushion my admittedly low career-related ambitions. I might throw several thousands at a new computer every seven to eight years, but that’s because I’ve saved them up for just as long, little by little. I have no vices beyond what sillicon offers and what you’d find in the pages of a book and don’t exactly need a big ‘ol, stonkin’ humidor stuffed with conoisseur stogies.

I have a shoebox with a poked-out Ziploc bag and a sponge, with a handful of joints and a few Santa Anas I got off of a buyer’s pool from work. Five of us occasional chair-bar goons pooled cash together on Cigar Chief and cushioned prices with a single, shared and massive order. I’m nowhere near rich, but assuming the housing market can catch its breath eventually, I’ll be able to live modestly - with one or two markers of occasional luxury I’ll have chosen.

I have a shittier job than my father has had and I’ve chosen to be happier than him. It’s just sad that the usual response elevates overwork as the supposedly one, true way to leave a mark in society.

No, Dad. I don’t want to die while my own cells eat me alive, I want to die blazed out of my fucking mind, happy because I’ll have had time to enjoy my friends’ company and to finally make some sense out of Kerouac’s Subterraneans or to figure out what the fuck is going on in Joyce’s Illiad. I’ll die crusty as shit and fulfilled as a Pop Culture jockey, because I’ll have either finished Persona 5: Golden in my lifetime or I’ll have watched the entirety of the MCU’s output before Disney finally manages to kill their golden goose.

I want to die decades from now, feeling like I at least owned my choices and didn’t spend my time tethered to someone else’s professional expectations of me.

[florbelles]

lyra and john for the ship ask?

thank you lovely! 💕

GENERAL

rate the ship awful | ew | no pics pls | i’m not comfortable | alright | i like it! | got pics? | let’s do it! | why is this not getting more attention?! | the otp to rule all other otps

how long will they last? as long as some part of either of them exists tbh

how quickly did/will they fall in love? when i say they have no chill and lyra moved into the ranch after living in hope county for two weeks i mean it

how was their first kiss? john’s nose bled, next question

WEDDING

who proposed? technically john. sort of. ( i’m sorry for this long answer but i haven’t really discussed it so ) lyra had already joined the project, lived with john, begun her training with jacob, and had taken up the rudimentary form of what would eventually become her role as the judge. it had only been a few months, but joseph believed he recognized her from his visions and wanted to bring her into the family Officially; at this point john and lyra were already 100% in it and he was straight up like if she’s going to become a seed it’s going to be through me, because, well, john. lyra just looked at him when he came to her with it and said “what of it? are you not my husband? am i not your wife?” and that was that; lyra doesn’t live by half-measures, she was married in every way that mattered to her the second she stepped across that threshold with her bags. ( well. shaggy carried the bags. but you get it. )

who is the best man/men? no one, but if you listened carefully you could hear shaggy sobbing outside the church. is he happy for them or crushed by the revelation he’s really stuck with both of them forever now? who can say!

who is the bride’s maid(s)? no one; faith was Not pleased when she heard lyra had gone and married her brother without telling her ( but it would have been her, if they’d had attendees. )

who did the most planning? there wasn’t much, but john ( and joseph, i suppose, since he officiated. )

who stressed the most? the only one who had any amount of stress was john.

how fancy was the ceremony? back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 ( i’ve been informed inflation adjustment was necessary by virtue of lyra’s aura ) | 4 | normal church wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

who was specifically not invited to the wedding? everyone, with the exception of joseph by necessity; while the significance of the two most extra drama fiends to ever step into the valley having the most understated ceremony in existence could be elaborated on with sentimentality — they can come as they are with each other, etc etc — it was partly a tactical move; lyra couldn’t fairly well maintain her cover with the locals if she publicly married john seed in an elaborate ceremony. they intend to have one officially in the new eden with all of the family and faithful; they never get that chance.

SEX

who is on top? either/or tbh

who is the one to instigate things? either/or

how healthy is their sex life? barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | they are humping each other on the couch right now

how kinky are they? straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head ( no horse head necessary in the sex dungeon. just kidding. they don’t have a sex dungeon they just hook up in the normal torture one )

how long do they normally last? before everything went to hell, as long as they want ( rip, get the ice packs ); after the reaping begins, as long as they have

do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? okay listen i’m going to be brutally honest, they fuck a lot, they’re not counting but they’re not complaining

how rough are they in bed? softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | the bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make dwayne johnson blush. also, the wall��s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. ( their walls are premium )

how much cuddling/snuggling do they do? no touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | a little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | they snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. ( lyra is actually the biggest offender but she blames his needy ass. also if she knows you know this she’ll commit homicide. this is not hyperbole )

CHILDREN

how many children will they have naturally? none. ( in aus they do; one in the cult wins verse because lyra’s iud expired but she was not willing to sacrifice her sex life, and fairbrookseed have three; the twins via wes and a younger son via john. )

how many children will they adopt? three at the beginning of the reaping — boomer, peaches & cheeseburger. ( john unwilling. )

who gets stuck with the most diapers? not applicable, but hypothetically shaggy

who is the stricter parent? it would have been john

who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? it would have been john; lyra would have taught them the dangerous stunts they’re doing after school

who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? it would have been shaggy

who is the more loved parent? the furbabies love lyra more. obviously.

who is more likely to attend the pta meetings? it wOULD HAVE BEEN JOHN

who cried the most at graduation? same answer; lyra would have waited until they got home and then cried in the shower for an hour

who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? either/both, but in practice probably john

COOKING

who does the most cooking? neither/shaggy; lyra if you count her Attempts when she staggers in at 3am after hunting sinners or gathering intel at the spread eagle

who is the most picky in their food choice? john; lyra behaves like she is but in fact thinks it will be a shame when casey’s non-testicle related recipes are lost when he burns in the collapse

who does the grocery shopping? neither; lyra’s the most likely to bring things back from town, but it’s usually liquor she swiped from the bar ( so that mary may can’t sell it, of course! )

how often do they bake desserts? they don’t bake

are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? whatever shaggy puts in front of them; it’s probably meat and it’s probably unfortunate

who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? john, but he’s only responsible for the theatrics; everything was 100% still prepared by the flock

who is more likely to suggest going out? for the truly exceptional hope county cuisine, served in businesses they definitely didn’t try to get shut down, in which they are most definitely both still welcome and could appear together without blowing her cover and/or getting shot on sight? neither. in a “let’s physically go out by the fire pit” sense, lyra.

who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? honestly, both of them, because in the event they were cooking one of them probably decided to be distracting~ while they waited~ and oh no they forgot about it oh no everything’s on fire oh no shaggy put it out oh no shaggy how could you let this happen

CHORES

who cleans the room? shaggy

who is really against chores? both to an extent, but especially lyra

who cleans up after the pets? neither, but since john philosophically opposes their presence in the first place and tries to ship them off to jacob every tuesday, it sure as hell ain’t him

who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? if, inexplicably, they’re sweeping, it’s lyra, both proverbially and literally

who stresses the most when guests are coming over? if the guest is joseph ( or even jacob ), JOHN. otherwise they’re unconcerned.

who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? a dollar? one (1) dollar? john keeps literal stacks of thousands of dollars in cash just sitting around. the answer is hopefully not the resistance.

MISC

who takes the longer showers/baths? john ( but lyra usually joins. )

who takes the dog out for a walk? shaggy, boomer has almost taken his leg off on fifty separate occasions. ( it’s lyra. )

how often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? canonically they never have the opportunity, really, but lyra probably would have decorated for the winter holidays. some mistletoe on the antlers, a garland on that sinner corpse hanging out by the porch. beautiful.

what are their goals for the relationship? to make it to new eden, tbh. they found unconditional love in each other when that was an impossibility for them for most of their lives; they just want to keep what they have and prove themselves worthy.

who is most likely to sleep till noon? JOHN. lyra’s up before dawn every day ( and drags him out of bed to watch the sunrise with her; he’s very excited for the apocalypse. )

who plays the most pranks? pranks? lyra, but not the funny sort, it’s like...whoops, sorry, i forgot to mention i was roasting sinners out back, the grounds will smell like burning flesh for a bit! did you bring home any flayed skin today? <3 ( i jest, it’s more to the effect of “the sinners were terribly dull today so to amuse myself i told them i heard rumors about the judge and the reason they didn’t know you had a wife is because you kept her locked in a sex dungeon. also, adelaide wants you to spank her. how went the confessions?” )

[thewritingstar]

Ah well were all at home better ask all 200 questions g, don't really know much about u

200 QUESTIONS???? ALRIGHT HERE YA GO. 

hope you enjoy me spending an hour answering all of these :) 

200: My crush’s name is: N/A 199: I was born in: 2000 198: I am really: nice 197: My cellphone company is: idk 196: My eye color is: Hazel, can turn dark brown or light green sometimes 195: My shoe size is: 8 194: My ring size is: 7 I think 193: My height is: 5′3 192: I am allergic to: penicillin  191: My 1st car was: Toyota  190: My 1st job was: Baskin Robbins  189: Last book you read: Suicide Notes (highly recommend)  188: My bed is: galaxy bedding and is currently on the floor in my bed fram cause my friends broke it... 187: My pet: Black cockapoo and a white cockapoo named Abby and Molly 186: My best friend: is a hoe 185: My favorite shampoo is: herbal essence color me happy  184: Xbox or ps3: I perfer Wii, Wii U or Nintendo switch  183: Piggy banks are: cute, Mine is a ducktales cup  182: In my pockets: nothing rn 181: On my calendar: nothing rn 180: Marriage is: a good thing but not a necessity for a happy life 179: Spongebob can: get it  178: My mom: is a queen  177: The last three songs I bought were? i only buy cds for my car so: Lover, Hozier, Blink 182 176: Last YouTube video watched: The Office deleted scenes 175: How many cousins do you have? 8 but I only see four of them and two of them are adults with kids so i consider them more of aunt and uncle figures 174: Do you have any siblings? One older sister  173: Are your parents divorced? Nope  172: Are you taller than your mom? Nope 171: Do you play an instrument? Nope 170: What did you do yesterday? Sat on ass and watched youtube 

[ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: ye why not 168: Luck: yes  167: Fate: yes 166: Yourself: kinda 165: Aliens: yes 164: Heaven: mmmm yes i guess 163: Hell: yes 162: God: uhhhhh yes and no, kinda indifferent 161: Horoscopes: yep 160: Soul mates: yesss 159: Ghosts: ye 158: Gay Marriage: WHO THE FUCK DOESNT BELIEVE IN THISS?? ITS REAL  157: War: think it does more harm than good 156: Orbs: ye 155: Magic: ye i wanna be a wizard 

[ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs 153: Drunk or High: drunk, i dont do drugs and i dont drink yet but ill prob get drunk  152: Phone or Online: oo i use both but Online i guess 151: Red heads or Black haired: Black hair 150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes 149: Hot or cold: HOT 148: Summer or winter: Summer 147: Autumn or Spring: Both 146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla  145: Night or Day: Day 144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges 143: Curly or Straight hair: I have straight hair but curly hair is also beautiful 142: McDonalds or Burger King: BURGER KING..I HATE MCDONALDS 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: MILK 140: Mac or PC: Pc 139: Flip flops or high heals:...High heels prob 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: SWEET AND POOR, IM ALREADY UGLY 137: Coke or Pepsi: NEITHER 136: Hillary or Obama: obama  135: Burried or cremated: cremated 134: Singing or Dancing: love both but maybe dancing rn 133: Coach or Chanel: Coach  132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: idk who they are 131: Small town or Big city: Big city, i grew up in a small town 130: Wal-Mart or Target: TARGET 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam 128: Manicure or Pedicure: Mani 127: East Coast or West Coast: West Coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas  125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: DISNEY  123: Yankees or Red Sox: eww sports 

[ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War:....does more harm than good  121: George Bush:....dont know enough to say but im pretty sure he was an awful human  120: Gay Marriage: It should just be called marriage, just because you’re gay doesnt make it any less or any more, its equal to other marriages  119: The presidential election: 118: Abortion: Pro Choice, no one has the right to tell someone what to do with their body 117: MySpace: i never used it cause i was too young but i bet it was lit 116: Reality TV: its funny af  115: Parents: are nice if they care about their child but if they are abusive or horrible then they dont deserve respect  114: Back stabbers: should be stabbed  113: Ebay: its nice  112: Facebook: full of idiots and boomers  111: Work: a scam  110: My Neighbors: they fine 109: Gas Prices: A SCAM 108: Designer Clothes: a nice but really $200 for socks, no mama 107: College: SHOULD BE FREE 106: Sports: fun but no one needs to make that much money for throwing a ball 105: My family: i like them 104: The future: is wild and idk at this point 

[ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: my mom like a few days ago 102: Last time you ate: at 11 today! 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile:  100: Cried in front of someone: my mom after i yelled at her 99: Went to a movie theater: i saw Onward when we were allowed outside 98: Took a vacation: went to disneyland last October  97: Swam in a pool: like almost two years sadly  96: Changed a diaper: when i was like 8  95: Got my nails done: never got them done because my mom wouldnt take me cause i was a ‘tom boy’  94: Went to a wedding: never  93: Broke a bone: when i was three, my big toe 92: Got a piercing: my nose in January  91: Broke the law: i guess i sped the other day  90: Texted: literally as im doing this 

[ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: my friend 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: the silence of being alone 87: The last movie I saw: Princess and the Frog 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Moving for college 85: The thing im not looking forward to:  84: People call me: Deanna (real name), Dean, Star (what yall call me) ton of others 83: The most difficult thing to do is: idk  82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: Aries 80: The first person i talked to today was:  79: First time you had a crush: Ive had  78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my best friends 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: my friends over ft  76: Right now I am talking to: no one 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully being an animator  74: I have/will get a job: at disney  73: Tomorrow: doing nothing 72: Today: doing nothing  71: Next Summer: hopefully not on quarantine  70: Next Weekend: nothing special  69: I have these pets: 2 doggos 68: The worst sound in the world: ICE SCRAPING OR MOUTH BREATHING 67: The person that makes me cry the most is:  66: People that make you happy: my friends 65: Last time I cried: few days ago  64: My friends are: my world 63: My computer is: a Dell  62: My School: is a community college  61: My Car: it goes 60: I lose all respect for people who: are bigots, dehumanize people, republicans  59: The movie I cried at was: Onward had me sobbing  58: Your hair color is: Brown rn 57: TV shows you watch: theres too many 56: Favorite web site: tumblr or youtube 55: Your dream vacation: every disney park  54: The worst pain I was ever in was: i think when i cut my finger or when i went to the hospital for my chest  53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium rare  52: My room is: disney themed and my safe zone 51: My favorite celebrity is: Tara Strong  50: Where would you like to be: Disneyland 49: Do you want children: ehh maybe  48: Ever been in love: nope 47: Who’s your best friend: my neighbor that ive known since i was 4 46: More guy friends or girl friends: more girl 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: making cake  44: One person that you wish you could see right now: my cousin 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: not really  42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: ye 41: Have you pre-named your children: kinda 40: Last person I got mad at: my mom 39: I would like to move to: La 38: I wish I was a professional: animator

[ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: Kitkat 36: Vehicle: Cars 35: President: 34: State visited: California, Nevada, Texas, Hawaii,  33: Cellphone provider: 32: Athlete: n/a 31: Actor: Colin O'Donoghue 30: Actress: Lana Parrilla 29: Singer: Joe Jonas, Taylor Swift  28: Band: Big Time Rush 27: Clothing store: Hot topic, Ross,  26: Grocery store: Safeway  25: TV show: Once Upon A Time or PPG  24: Movie: Princess and the Frog and Ratatouille  23: Website: tumblr  22: Animal: elephant  21: Theme park: disneyland  20: Holiday: Halloween  19: Sport to watch: hockey  18: Sport to play:..i do not play  17: Magazine: i dont read mags  16: Book: Kingdom Keepers  15: Day of the week: Friday  14: Beach: one i went to in Hawaii  13: Concert attended: Jonas Brothers  12: Thing to cook: chowmein and strawberry shortcake  11: Food: Chowmein  10: Restaurant: my fav Chinese restaurant  9: Radio station: I don’t listen to the radio  8: Yankee candle scent: Vanilla  7: Perfume: Vanilla  6: Flower: Rose or Larkspur  5: Color: Black or blue  4: Talk show host: umm i dont watch many but i guess Jimmy Fallon  3: Comedian: Jaboukie Young-White or John Mulaney  2: Dog breed: Pomeranian  1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ye 

[spadesinglasses]

Descendants 3 (Movie)

Yooo the soundtrack is banging!!

Warning: i ended up being too harsh on this reaction. The show is fucking great y’all should appreciate it ;A; 

But as all things are, this one isn’t perfect.

First thing first, I LOVE THE WHOLE DESCENDANTS SERIES AND I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO CAMERON BOYCE FOR BEING OUR LIGHT IN THIS GODDAMN DARK WORLD.

Now that i’ve expressed my adoration for the guy, we can dive down to this reaction about Descendants 3.

Let’s divide this post into two parts. 

First part, the stuff i love.

The whole descendants universe acknowledge the fact that people just spontaneously do a sing number.

NOW ONTO THE REAL PART.

I loooove Audrey. I have to say that in the first movie, she was nothing for me. Her whole role is to antagonize Mal and have her life revolve around Ben. I don’t fault her specifically since we all know the blame should go to the writers and heterosexuals, but yeah her role in Descendants 1 is useless at best.

BUT IN DESCENDANTS 3 OH BOY.

ITS THE REVENGE, ITS THE REACTION, ITS THE BOTTLE FINALLY BREAKING.

Her bitch of a grandmother dealt the last blow and GIIIIIRL Audrey WENT OFFF. She had a magic girl moment and just a new wardrobe to match her new self.

HER SONG BE BANGING.

Next is Evie’s role in the whole movie as the mediator. We all know that she’s bestfriends with Mal, but she still did her best to treat Mal and Uma equally on moments it matters.

Evie’s undying hope of a brighter future had been consistent throughout three movies now and i just love it. I want to thank Sofia Carson and Kenny Ortega for giving us her.

Uma UMA UMMMMAAA. Other than Evie, Uma’s the one who has always been vocal of wanting more for the Isle. She was painted as a villain in 2 because of her ways, but her goal was the same as Evie.

In 3, we see a more mellow Uma. I like to think that its because she was able to taste what the outside world is, and how beautiful it is. It gave her perspective of what the people in The Isle could have if they played their cards right.

These three women had a character development from the previous movies and i really love how they turned out to be.

====

NOW for the things I hate.

This whole “I forgive my parents” shit that Disney always fucking have.

LISTEN, i have personal problems with characters who can forgive their parents no matter how vile they are.

Mal just saying that her mother loves her and she doesn’t hate her mother because at least she stuck around, is shitty.

Yes, what Hades did, leaving Mal with her, is shitty, but making what he did equal or worse than what Maleficent had done to her is ridiculous.

Mal would’ve been fine just by pushing the fact that Maleficent did not leave her, instead of also saying she doesn’t hate her mother.

And then the grand bitch of a grandmother that Audrey have. Boomer lady here was a pain in the ass since descendants 1. Not only igniting a dying fire between Audrey and Mal, but also pouring gasoline on it like really Boomer? Age did not do you any good huh.

Yes i understand homegirl has her beef with Maleficent and basically putting her daughter into a sleep coma for years, BUT REALLY? DRAG THAT BITCH OF A GRUDGE TO FUTURE GENERATIONS? typical boomer.

Next is Mal, oooh our protagonist Mal ended up becoming the main antagonist of the show.

We get it, you have big shoes to fill. But girl, this was your issue back in Descendants 2. 

What happened? You got scared? You lost hope and gave up and chose to do what the boomers were pushing you to say? 

Mal you’re better than this. It shouldn’t take you til the end of the movie to realize what a clusterfuck this will be.

Ben, you lack dedication to what you wanted to make. wtf.

Doug, i still hate you for instantly assuming that Evie was cheating on you in Descendants 2.

I also hate the fact that Carlos still considers Cruella her mother. and that he apparently still thinks that Cruella’s opinions weight something in his life.

Carlos and Mal may be on the same situation where they both still love their mothers immensely despite what happened. These two need to wake up.

Jay and Evie had never expressed anymore of wanting to see their parents, and yet seeing how close and comfortable they are to their parents, one would think these two would be the ones wanting to see their parents again.

i know by the end Evie asked them all if they miss them, and Jay said yeah, but like I said, out of the four, Jay and Evie are the ones who are reasonable still to love their parents.

Another thing I hate mostly because I’m curious is, how is bringing the evil adults work to a better future.

I understand the concept of forgiveness, and also the children are innocent, but adults are shitty and they hold grudges. I would like to see Descendants 4 dealing with this issue soooo much. GIVE US MORE.

As of now those are the stuff that I hate that i can remember. So for now it’ll have to do.

NOW FOR THE CRACK PART OF THIS REACTION. Aka honorable mentions about the stuff I love.

The ending where Hades and Ben meet and Ben was all “Oh hey Dad”. Cheyenne Jackson did fucking well as Hades and the eye thing he did was brilliant. Ben was adorable in this xD.

GAY. I MEAN JAY AND GIL. Apparently people want to call them the ship Icebreaker so it’ll be easier to find. THESE TWO ARE JUST EXUDING THE BIGGEST UWU IN THE WHOLE GODDAMN MOVIE. People should do more fanarts, write fanfics about how they are basically the soft dudebros in love with one another trope.

Jay had been surprisingly soft or well softer in this movie and I stan.

HADES AND ADAM ARE HOT WHEN THEY WERE GROWLING AT ONE ANOTHER. Honestly Hades is sounded like he was purring but maybe its just me. Belle would want to watch is all im saying.

Carlos and Jane are cute, tooth-achingly so. I want Benlos still but ya know.

I liiive for Platonic Harry Uma. I know there are people who ship them romantically, but I just love their dynamics as friends.

AGAIN JAY AND GIL, THEY FUCKING HAD A KORRASAMI ENDING I CANNOT EVEN.

The whole Mal and Ben thing with Ben’s beard is just weird xD.

I definitely forgot some other stuff on this but yeah.

If you ship Jay and Gil, Ben and Carlos and stuff, hit me upp let’s taaaaalk

THAT’S IT FOLKS.

Again, thank you very fucking much Cameron Boyce for gracing this world with your passion and light. 

[immortal-imagines]

The Lucky Boomerang - Part 10

Summary: It was widely known that Captain Boomerang didn’t work well with others; a true statement, until one particular accomplice caught his attention. His decision to spare her caused the pair to become deadly. They were nearly as famous as the Clown couple themselves. Renowned for her easy escapes and incredible stealth, Lady Luck was an appropriate partner for the Aussie bank robber. Their luck changes when a certain metahuman brings them both to Belle Reve Penitentiary and they are forced into joining Task Force X. (Side note: In this imagine, Boomerang is at Belle Reve)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 11

(Captain Boomerang x Reader)

Warnings: Mild swearing

Word Count: 1,391

A/N: Finally! A new chapter! I’m so sorry this has taken so long! Hope you enjoy!

Harley immediately assumed the position of bar maid. She ran her fingers across the bottles, eyes wide in wonder. It had been a while. “What you havin’, KC?” She called over to the scaled man in the corner of the room.

“Beer,” He muttered.

Boomer chuckled. “There you go. Get the man a beer.” He already had his can. (Y/N) was perched on a bar stool next to him. She glanced around the bar at the other criminals. She didn’t have a family, or a proper place to call home. This was as close to a family as she could get. Maybe that wasn’t a bad thing.

“(Y/N)?” Harley interrupted Lady’s thoughts. “What can I get ya?” She flashed her new best friend a dazzling grin. It amazed (Y/N) that after all Harley had been through, she could still act like everything was okay. She’d just lost the love of her life, her puddin’. Yet, here she was, serving drinks like nothing was wrong.

“Shots?” (Y/N) raised an eyebrow at her friend and smirked.

“Now that is a fantastic idea!” Harley seemed thrilled and set out six shot glasses. She poured a generous amount of vodka into each. She didn’t wait for (Y/N). She just knocked all six back, one after another. “You want shots too?” She laughed, before refilling the glasses and sliding them over to (Y/N).

There was a noticeable look of pride on Boomerang’s face, when he watched the shots in front of Lady vanish at an impressive speed. Harley noticed the way he looked at Lady. Her stomach flipped. Before she could dwell too much, she took the vodka bottle and had a long swig.

“So,” Harley turned her attention to the couple. “There’s somethin’ I wanna know.”

“What’s that, doll?” Boomerang asked.

“How did you guys meet?”

Flashback:

Digger was smart enough to hide his cash in his large coat. He wanted to treat the girl, without ending up in jail. She settled on the stool next to him, arching her back as she leaned her elbows on the bar. Her long (Y/H/C) hair rested on her shoulders, free of the ponytail. Boomerang was stunned into silence, something that was very rare.

“Are you going to buy me a drink, or not?” She broke the silence and offered him a cheeky grin.

“What would you like, Lady?” He shot her a tiny wink with the last word.

“Surprise me.” Her voice was teasing. Every word invited him in. Her (Y/E/C) eyes glinting in the low light of the bar.

It was one of those places that had a perfect balance of vintage and tacky. There was a jukebox in the corner, quietly singing ‘Livin’ On A Prayer’. A couple of slot machines lined the back wall. The lighting was dim and the slightly battered booths housed a few tired, tipsy business men. The man behind the bar seemed equally as tired and uninterested. Not exactly the perfect first date. Neither criminal seemed to mind.

Boomerang called the bartender over, who looked like it took a lot of effort to walk those few feet over. “Two pints of whatever your best beer is.” He slid a $20 note over the counter. “Keep the change.”

“Cheers,” the bartender replied, his expression never changing and his voice entirely monotone. He returned with the beers moments later, then returned to the other side of the bar to play on his phone.

(Y/N) scoffed. “Service with a smile, eh?”

Boomerang chuckled.

“So, beer is your poison?” Her red lips formed each word perfectly, if that was even possible. Well, it was perfect to Digger.

“I’m an Aussie. I’d be a traitor if I didn’t.”

She smiled.

“How about you? You like beer, sweetheart?”

“Love it. The stars have aligned tonight I think.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think I’m gonna stick around for a while,” (Y/N)’s cheeks flushed and she looked down. “If that’s okay with you?”

“You fancy bein’ my partner in crime then, Lady?”

(Y/N) looked up and was met with Boomerang’s hopeful gaze. There was a pause, as they both just stared at each other. It was one of those moments in cheesy romance movies. It was a moment Digger never thought he’d find himself in. All he needed was her to give him a signal. A signal she wanted to work with him, and maybe something more. She nodded.

“I’d love nothing more.”

Present Day:

Harley turned away from the group. She pretended to get another bottle, when really, she wanted to wipe away a tear that had made its way down her cheek. She loved (Y/N) and Boomer. She was happy for them. She enjoyed listening to their first date and some of the events that followed, but it was difficult considering all that she had just lost.

“You took your girl to some sleazy bar on your first date? That’s cheap, man,” Diablo chuckled.

“Hey!” Boomer mocked offense. “We had just robbed a bank!”

“Allegedly robbed a bank,” (Y/N) cut in.

“We had just allegedly robbed a bank. We needed to lay low.”

“And I loved it anyway.” (Y/N) took Boomer’s hand in hers and squeezed it. She planted a quick kiss on his lips. It felt so good to be able to do that. They’d gone so long without. It was strange to hold him and kiss him, with very few limitations. Boomer grinned, flashing his gold tooth. Although he’d never admit it, butterflies erupted in his stomach when Lady kissed him. It was like when they first met all over again.

Harley turned back around, her eyes a little watery. Deadshot noticed. He decided to change the subject. He raised his glass of whiskey. “Here’s to honour among thieves.”

“I’m not a thief,” came Katana’s cold reply. (Y/N) rolled her eyes.

“Oh, she’s not a thief,” Deadshot sarcastically whispered. Harley clinked her cocktail with Digger’s beer can. (Y/N) nudged his side, gesturing to the empty shot glasses in front of her. Digger reached into his coat and produced another beer can. (Y/N) took it, whispering her thanks and pecking his cheek.

“Well, we almost pulled it off. Despite what everybody thought.” Deadshot’s voice was tinged with a hint of disappointment.

“We weren’t picked to succeed. You know that, right?” Diablo, who had remained silent up until that point, spoke. There was a look of anger on his face/. His fists were clenched. “We were all chosen to fail.”

“Wow, way to be optimistic, buddy,” Boomer said, dryly.

“Worst part of it is, they’re gonna blame us for the whole thing,” Deadshot said. The whole room nodded in agreement. “Don’t forget, we’re the bad guys.”

“Ugh, I hate that term,” (Y/N) sighed. “Why can’t we be the heroes for once? We’re the ones putting our lives on the line. I don’t see the Bat or Sparky doing that.”

“So, are you gonna tell us what your big deal with Flag was?” Harley waved her hands in the air, in mock jazz hands. Her question was directed to Deadshot.

“Same thing Waller offered me to kill you. The chance to be a father.” Everyone knew he meant it. His daughter meant more to him than anything. It was the same way Harley felt about the Joker, (Y/N) felt about Boomer and Diablo had once felt about his family. They would do anything for them. As he spoke, (Y/N) wondered what it would be like to be a parent. Harley was thinking the same thing. She had come so close once, but it wasn’t meant to be.

Diablo slammed his fist on the bar. “You played yourself, homie.”

Deadshot laughed. “Bitch, I’m having a drink. I’m breathing fresh air. For two sweet seconds, I had hope.”

“How many people have you killed? You ever wacked down no women? Kids?”

“You don’t ask a person a question like that. I don’t do women and children.”

“I do.”

The whole room went still at Diablo’s words.

“See I was born with the devil’s gift.” As Diablo told the story of his family and their tragic ending, everyone listened. There wasn’t a single sound. At that moment, they felt like a team. A unit. They supported each other. This is what family feels like, (Y/N) thought to herself. You listen together. You cry together. You’re there for each other.

Tag List: @a-girl-who-loves-disney, @thranduilxlegolasx, @squireboredom, @tokentransboy, @taz-t-mary, @bookchic20, @sporadichologramblizzard-ed17414

[ghostliied]

butch/mimi

( ✦ ✦ — send ships ; accepting ✦ ✦ ✦ ) | Mobile

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Depends. I see it as an off/on thing. They could last long, but they could last very short too. depends on how much she can put up with tbh. 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - TOO LONG. that is… if they ever do, it’s a very long time cause god Butch pisses Mimi off too much and he’s just an asshole in general.

How was their first kiss? - ????? This could have been a Butch like ‘you wouldn’t’ and that probably caused her to like kiss him so it was an angry ‘i’ll prove you wrong’ kiss. or Mimi would have even been like ‘you would not dare’, and he does it out of spite. and again that scenario it would have been like a ‘joke’ kiss but ended up to be kinda enjoyable so it went a little long that expected – but even then they didn’t talk to each other for days after that.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Butch.

Who is the best man/men? - Probably Brick??

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - Mimi has no friends, but.. fuck it make it Boomer XD no but really though, probably Bubbles, if Mimi knew her. Otherwise, you’re stuck with whoever wants to be the bride’s maids. though probably some random people that Butch doesn’t know but Mimi’s helped while living in townsville.

Who did the most planning? - Mimi

Who stressed the most? - Probably both tbh. but for different reasons.

How fancy was the ceremony? - um… fancy enough for her? but not so fancy for him? like, granted Butch probably didn’t want to wear a suit but it was kind of a casual wedding – if they had one. but…Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Butch you are not invited to your own wedding how does that make you feel lol jk probably her biological parents despite them having ‘money’ (she has royal blood in her but you’d never catch her actually mentioning them and they aren’t). but aside from that, idk about butch. Mimi probably wouldn’t want HIM to show up, just cause she’s just sensitive about what he represents.

Sex:

Who is on top? -butch 

Who is the one to instigate things? butch-

How healthy is their sex life? who knows- Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? he probably is but mimi eh…- Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? I know Mimi would for a while but who knows.-

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? nope probably not.-

How rough are they in bed? lol- Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - It would be very hard since Mimi has a really hard time bearing children due to what happened to her, but 1 MAYBE 2. 

How many children will they adopt? - mimi would want 1 if she couldn’t have one.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Mimi

Who is the stricter parent? - Um.. Maybe Mimi?

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Butch probably and maybe.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Butch tbh 

Who is the more loved parent? - neither, they are the same. but the kids like the parents for different things lol

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Mimi

Who cried the most at graduation? - um… *whispers* butch?

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - both tbh.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Depends on the mood. Mimi handles the fancier foods most likely, but Butch could attempt to… and fail at cooking and ends upt buying/stealing food from a vendor or a place for them (and mimi would have to go and hklfdg pay for it cause she’s too good)

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Butch.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Mimi.

How often do they bake desserts? - Let it be known that if butch messes up on cooking, Mimi doesn’t let him touch deserts. But that’s fine cause he loves mimi’s deserts and always asks her to make them.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Butch likes his meat, mimi just doesn’t eat much in general cause she’s never hungry but would eat meat for Butch. 

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Butch.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Mimi, cause shes tired of cooking.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Butch. 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Mimi

Who is really against chores? - Butch, but he’d probably do the most chores anyway cause Mimi is simply too busy being a good Samaritan.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Probably Butch

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Butch, and Mimi would smack him upside the head

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Mimi

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Butch (probably one of the only reason why he cleans but would stop cleaning if he found it cause it went from cleaning to throwing everything around to find more money.)

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - They both take super long???? baths??? HHHHH watch them take a bath together though. Butch takes longer showers though.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Butch

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - mimi is the one who wants to go all out, she has the ideas, but he would just do it for her and run/float around placing things up for her and she points.

What are their goals for the relationship? - um.. Mimi has decent goals of not getting upset with him and makes it a goal to just like take a moment to step back and try to sympathise with the asshole. Which works, she just has very healthy goals with Butch. Meanwhile Butch would probably just have a goal of pissing her off or teasing her in general. (not a good idea cause she would punch him and give him a bloody nose, but hey he probably likes feisty-mimi) 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Butch.

Who plays the most pranks? - Butch. (but you KNOW that Mimi would get him back at his antics, and get him really good – it would be a war between the two of them. and Mimi just plays coy about it.)

[peachhoneii]

@heythatsdeep continues to be an amazing person, fantastic artist, and hilarious writer. Here is the sequel to you know what. Again, many of the lines come from the original comic along with my additions.

Did the Duck Come Before the Egg...Continued

It was pleasant to sleep in every once in a while.

Donald didn’t get to do that often. An early riser was required when you were raised on a farm. It the Navy, sleeping in didn’t exist; not as a phrase or a concept. It was the prerequisite of raising children.

Simply put, Donald Duck didn’t sleep in.

But this morning, he did.

He was in his bathroom, wiping his face and preparing to brush his teeth when the sound of rushing feet stormed to his door. As a parent, he knew what this meant. He set his towel and brush down, and yawned the last few traces of sleep from his face.

The bathroom door swung open as the boys walked in, their beaks twisted in determined scowls, “Uncle Donald, Uncle Donald!”

He sensed something was amiss. His boys stared curiously at him, but he was caught in the moment. He was in a good mood and thought it appropriate to greet his children with a bright, afternoon smile.

“Howdy, boys!”

“Hey Uncle Donald, we have a question,” Louie said.

“Yeah!”

“Fire away, Louie!”

Donald had no way to anticipate it. He hadn’t prepared.

“Where do eggs come from?” Louie asked, “Huey wouldn’t tell us.”

The world stopped. It was as if a record had taken long, dragging scratch, and Donald quacked loudly in an equally long, dragging quack. He looked behind him, clutching the bathroom counter, and saw the boys waiting for an answer.

He ignored the sudden thump-thumping of his heart. Twisting his night shirt and night cap in his hands, “Ha. Now, why would want to know that, huh, boys?”

Louie frowned, “You’re acting weird too, now!”

“First Huey, now, you!” Dewey agreed, “Is this some kind of conspiracy?”

“…Huey knows?” Was all Donald heard after that. The boys wanted to know about the secret of eggs, but what fell on Donald’s ears was that his oldest boy knew the truth of conception and childbirth.

He pressed his hands to his beak, “My sweet baby angel…hearing those things! I can’t lose all of three of them, not at once, not yet!”

Donald had choices. 

He could tell them the truth.

It would be difficult, awkward, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to push through the intimate details of what happened during and after the act. He knew his boys. They’d ask question through their initial disgust and confusion. They’d want clarity.

There was an alternative. It wasn’t an alternative he grew up with, being raised on a farm he had an up and close account of what occurred when animals conceived, but Donald suspected if he executed this explanation just right, it’d push them away from the topic altogether.

“Uncle Donald, are you crying?”

Dewey’s question brought him back to the present, and he blinked at the remaining innocent boys waiting for their answer.

Donald cleared his throat, blinking his tears away, “Ahem, storks.”

Louie stared at Dewey. Dewey stared at Donald.

“Storks?”

“Eggs are hand-delivered by storks,” Donald clarified.

Louie slipped his hands into his hoodie pockets, “What, like storks storks? Flying or walking?”

Donald twiddled his fingers, “Erm…flying storks. Easier to deliver.”

“And by deliver you mean like…package?” Loue scoffed, “They get delivered in the mail?”

“Yes!” Donald said and coughed into his hand, “They use mail trucks, but they don’t let people know they’re using mail trucks because it’d be too obvious.”

“Why?”

“You know not everyone wants to announce when they’re expecting. It’d be rude. Customer confidentiality and all that.”

“This sounds all kinds of surreal.”

“It takes a lot to be a parent, you know,” Donald pointed his finger in the air, nodding his head sagely as he explained, “The storks are very secret about it. Very hush-hush.”

Dewey crossed his arms, “I knew it was a conspiracy.”

“I get to keep my babies,” Donald’s giddy grin filled his face.

“So how does it work,” Louie asked.

Donald opened his eyes and shook his head, “How does what work?”

“The egg process,” Dewey clarified, “how do parents know they want kids, and how do storks receive their orders?”

“Like I said, being a parent isn’t easy.” Donald crossed his arms and leaned on the counter, “You have to have a clear head, stable income, and a loving heart to be a parent. Storks search for that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Storks know when someone wants a kid, so they make a surprise visit so they can fill the application and set up an interview.”

“An interview,” Dewey murmured, “to make sure they’re up for being parents?”

“Exactly!”

“After they’ve been approved, they receive their babies in medically designed packages,” he faced the mirror and squished tooth paste on his tooth brush, “the trucks are capable of tending to the babies’ needs. Makes sense?”

“Yeah,” Louie looked to the floor, “it does.”

“Were you there when Mom got us?”

Donald swallowed, “Yeah, of course I was,” he turned the water on, “Grandma knitted your cozies. I snuggled you in them. You were so cute.”

He started to ramble. To be fair, they were downright adorable in their color coordinated cozies. Grandma Duck somehow had known which one belonged to which before their hatching, and Donald was satisfied with that.

But it was not what Louie and Dewey wanted to hear.

“Okay, Uncle Donald,” they said uneasily as they backed away to the door, “don’t take out the photo album, okay?”

“Or the pictures on your phone drive,” Louie added hastily.

They escaped quietly as their uncle reminisced about days long past, and walked down the plank wearing concentrative expressions on their faces.

"The stork makes sense, but why did Huey make a big deal out of it?"

Louie shrugged, "Could've been some kind of Junior Woodchuck thing, Rule #1247, Don't tell other kids about the stork."

They dipped their feet in the pool.

"Webby seemed to know."

"You forget, dear Dewford," he kicked his feet softly in the water, "Webbigail is the queen of obscure facts."

"Sure," he tapped under his beak suspiciously. There was something off about Uncle Donald's explanation. A minor, snagged detail didn't sit right in Dewey's head, "We'll ask her when Huey isn't around."

"You go on ahead." Louie lied on the concrete, baking under the warm sun, and cracked his left eye open, "I'll snooze here for an hour or five."

"Come on, you're telling me you're not interested, like at all?"

"Uncle Donald answered the question," he folded his hands behind his head, "there isn't more to it."

"Is there?"

There had to be more. It sounded too simply, too cut and close. Or it could have been Dewey's imagination getting the best of him, which it did not. Only occasionally, sometimes, and this wasn't one of those times.

"I'm going to ask her." He stood and glared at the sun, "And you're going to regret not coming with."

Louie yawned, "Doubt it."

As he walked away, a thought snapped in his head, and a slow grin appeared on his beak, "Are you sure? The baby boomer business is probably the biggest in the world, even Uncle Scrooge's. He can't make babies."

"I doubt he'd ever call the stork, to be honest, and with whom would he want to make a baby with?" Louie grinned and closed his open eye, "What's your point again?"

"The baby boomer -,"

"That's what you're calling it?"

"Yes, don't interrupt." Dewey cleared his throat, "The baby boomer business is huge. There's like a billion people on the earth -,"

"7.6 billion as of this year, to be precise."

"What happened to not interrupting?"

"My bad."

"Look, okay, so there's 7.6 billion people on the planet, that means tons of business." Dewey turned around and flashed his devious grin, "Meaning tons of money methods and stock market value."

Louie's eyes opened. He faced his brother with a mischievously serious expression, "You serious?"

"As serious as a newborn, freshly delivered baby."

It had taken less than a second for Louie to grin, and when he did, Dewey knew his plan was set into motion.

"I'm in."

[floridaprelaw-blog]

Marriage Rates Falling By The Minute: Is Love Going Extinct

By Matthew Ginsberg, University of South Florida, Class of 2021

May 21, 2020

Being in love is so rewarding. The emotional bond that manifests over time creates a sense of eternal unity, elevating mutual motivation to succeed in all categories of life. To find a lifelong partner, people nowadays turn to a variety of platforms, spending countless hours using social dating apps. These apps, like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge to name a few, allow people to advertise pictures and basic information about themselves, with the hope of matching with others that seem compatible. All dating apps follow a simple model: two people match, instant messaging is initiated, and if both parties are interested in one another, a date ensues. With over 1,500 dating apps available, it seems that people now have more opportunities than ever before to find their perfect match. So why is it that marriage rates per year in the United States are at an all-time low? 

The perception and symbolism of what love represents has changed over time. For Baby Boomers (born between 1944-1964) and Generation X (born between 1965-1979), marriage rates spiked year-after-year and divorce was rarely seen while they were growing up. But for Millennials (born between 1980-1994) and Generation Z (born between 1995-2015), divorce became the social norm in their adolescent years, jeopardizing the purity of love. The fantasized portrayal of two people falling head over heels and living happily ever after was abandoned when divorce rates dramatically spiked in the early 1970’s, sparking a movement. The social perception of divorce being shameful transitioned into an act of nobility by women, to escape a man that failed to respect her. Rather than getting married to express mutual love and devotion, “there has been a clear shift, where people are waiting till their mid-20’s to commit to serious relationships, extending the average duration of dating from one year to nearly three years. In 1950, the average age of marriage was 20 years old, but by the beginning of 2020, the average age of marriage had spiked to 29yearsold.” With people waiting longer now than ever before to get married, is it fear from high rates of divorce that are influencing the decision to wait, or are other factors contributing? 

There is a clear correlation between increased divorce rates per- year in the United states and citizens waiting longer to get married. Based on a research study conducted by the Wilkinson and Finkbeiner Law Firm in 2018 on why marriage rates are declining, the results found that the main factor causing reduction isfear of divorce. With an estimated “50% of first marriages ending in divorce, 60% of second marriages ending in divorce, and 73% of third marriages ending in divorce,” couples understand that they are more likely to get separated than stay together. These percentages equate to “one divorce getting finalized in the United States every 13 seconds, 277 divorces per hour, 6,646 divorces per day, 46,523 divorces per week, and 2,419,196 divorces per year.” These statistics indicate that many people fall into the trap of bringing their problems from past relationships into future relationships, explaining why the percentage of divorcesis higher for second and third marriages. No wonder Millennials and Generation Z are waiting longer to get married than previous generations; they have learned from their parents’ mistakes. But while there is clear evidence to suggest the correlation between increased divorce rates and waiting longer to get married, other factors also contribute to resisting marriage. 

Beginning in the early 1970’s, more women than ever before entered into the workforce. As society slowly embraced strides toward gender equality, the “traditional” perception of women staying home to cook and clean, while men got jobs to help make ends meet permanently changed. A new era came to fruition by the middle of the 1980’s, where citizens realized that if gender equality was encouraged in the domestic workforce, relationship dynamics needed toalso work in an equal manner.By the end of the 1980’s, most women understood that they did not need a partner because they could be self- sufficient. With transitions in the dynamic of relationships, men were forced to accept that failure to behave in an appropriate manner would result in their wives potentially leaving them.

Another important factor to consider is how societal norms and standards have changed based on age demographics. For Baby Boomers and Generation X, who were born before the 1980’s, premarital sex and living together with a partner was shameful, until after marriage. By the middle of the 1980’s, however, there was a clear shift that challenged pre- existing societal norms. As divorce rates exponentially rose in the ‘80s, acceptance grew toward couples moving in together prior to marriage, to determine if the relationship is realistic and desirable for the long hall. Rather than rushing to get married and have children, Millennials were the first generation to consistently hold off on marriage until their late 20’s. By waiting longer to get married than previous generations, the idea of physical engagement without emotional intimacy also became more prominent in the 1980’s, but this came with serious repercussions. The mass spread of HIV and AIDS became a threat to the health and safety of all citizens, peaking in reported cases in 1993, but the spread was important because it showed that societal beliefs, norms, and practices were quickly changing in America. With increased acceptance toward pursuing sexual temptation and living together with your spouse prior to engagement, are societal factors causing marriage rates to decline… or are financial restraints to blame? 

In modern society, the cost to get married is higher than ever before. According to a study done by the Earnest Research Group in 2018, “the average wedding costs $35,329- and that doesn’t include an engagement party or the honeymoon.” With the engagement party and honeymoon included, “the average wedding costs $45,000.” To put these numbers into perspective, the average wedding is only $10,000 less than the average household's earnings in an entire year. When you factor in the cost of an engagement ring ($6,163 on average), reception hall ($16,107 on average), flowers and decor ($2,500 on average), catering ($71 per person on average) and all other expenses, it’s possible that the high costs of an average wedding force many couples to wait, so they can have the wedding they desire. When comparing these numbers to Baby Boomers (born between 1944-1964), the average cost of weddings has increased by nearly $40,000… That’s right, Baby Boomers paid $5,000 on average for a wedding. Even if these numbers were adjusted for inflation, people today are still paying over $15,000 more for their weddings than Baby Boomers, signifying that the cost of marriage has exponentially risen. With such a dramatic spike in wedding prices, many couples have no choice, but to wait until they can afford it. 

While the financial burden forces many couples to hold off on their weddings, Millennials and Generation Z will on average outlive previous generations. This factor needs to be taken into consideration when analyzing why people are waiting longer now than ever before to get married because it shows that with longer lifespans comes more time to explore independence beyond the early 20’s. According to a study done by Duke University in 2017, “Baby Boomers on average live to 78 years old. With advances in medicine, however, it’s projected that Millennials and Generation Z will live to 87 years old on average.” Isn’t it ironic that there is a 9-year difference between the average age Baby Boomers and Millennials get married (20 vs. 29 years old) and average lifespan (78 vs. 87 years old)? Well… not really. As awareness and technological innovation exacerbate progress in the medical industry, the average lifespan will continue to increase. With more opportunities to maintain quality health for longer periods of time than previous generations, there is less of a rush to find somebody to settle down with. 

Based on the data, there are several factors influencing marriage rates per year in the United States declining. Although dating apps create more platforms for people to interact, time constraints from busy schedules make it extremely difficult for the average bachelor or bachelorette to find the time to meet face to face. Unlike Baby Boomers, who were eager to marry by their early 20’s, Millennials and Generation Z recognize how common divorce has become and would rather wait longer to find their perfect match,than feel like they are settling. Since the average age to marry increased from 20 to 29 years old within the last 50 years, I predict the average age of marriage will be at least 38 years old by 2070. The three main reasons people will continue to hold off on marriage until their mid to late 30’s is due to trust issues from high divorce rates, costs of weddings continuing to rise, and a lack of time making it challenging to get to know new people. The actions of previous generations affect the behavior of future generations, which can be seen in the transition from Generation X (1965-1979) to Millennials (1980-1994). Not wanting to recreate the same mistakes as their parents, who are statistically more likely to get divorced than stay together, Millennials and Generation Z have resisted any urgency toward marriage. This shows that love might not be going extinct, but the average age of marriage will likely continue to increase, while annual marriage rates will continue decreasing moving forward. 

________________________________________________________________

Anderer, John, et al. “Why Are Marriage Rates Down? Study Blames Lack Of 'Economically-Attractive' Men.” Study Finds, 5 Sept. 2019, www.studyfinds.org/why-are-marriage-rates-down-study-blames-lack-of-economically-attractive-men/.

“FastStats - Marriage and Divorce.” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 20 Jan. 2017, www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm.

“Is Marriage in Decline?” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 7 Mar. 2015, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-prime-life/201503/is-marriage-in-decline.

McCarty, Randy. “Marriage and Divorce.” American Psychological Association, American Psychological Association, 13 Oct. 2018, www.apa.org/topics/divorce/.

Parker, Kim, and Renee Stepler. “As U.S. Marriage Rate Hovers at 50%, Education Gap in Marital Status Widens.” Pew Research Center, Pew Research Center, 14 Sept. 2017, www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/09/14/as-u-s-marriage-rate-hovers-at-50-education-gap-in-marital-status-widens/.

Photo Credit: 

https://www.bonobology.com/why-are-we-so-close-to-each-other-and-yet-so-far-apart/

Riper, Tom Van. “The Cost of Being Married Versus Being Single.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 13 July 2012, www.forbes.com/2006/07/25/singles-marriage-money-cx_tvr_06singles_0725costs.html.

Wheeler, Brian. “Why Is the US Marriage Rate Falling Sharply?” BBC News, BBC, 9 Jan. 2012, www.bbc.com/news/magazine-16274740.

Photo Credit: David McCandless

[ronaldmrashid]

The Most Amazing Estate Plan You’ll Ever Read

In my Quora e-mail digest, I stumbled upon the most amazing and heartfelt estate plan I’ve ever read.

A user asked: If you were left millions in your parent’s will, but your brother or sister were left nothing, would you give them some money?

I think the large majority of us would say, “absolutely yes.” Even if we had lost touch with our siblings or felt they never treated us or our parents right, our grief and guilt alone would spur us to share something.

All these public family squabbles in probate court due to the failure of the deceased to create a private revocable living trust are so sad. It really pains me when money comes between family, especially after a death.

Here’s where one answerer, Jeff E. revives some of my faith in humanity. Let’s read what he has to say.

The Most Amazing Estate Plan

My sister is not a Quora reader. In the unlikely event that one of you fine people happen to know her, please keep this information quiet. (Thanks!)

Our mother died a few years ago, leaving her estate to me, my younger brother, and our older sister. While it didn’t amount to millions, between house, savings, retirement accounts, and some undeveloped property, there was a fairly hefty sum of money.

As the executor of Mom’s estate, my brother had direct insight into the financials. When he had a feel for the assets and liabilities, he came up with a plan to deceive our beloved sister about the size of our shared inheritance. He approached me with his idea, and I became an instant co-conspirator.

My brother and I both have solid careers and strong retirement plans. While our sister has always worked hard and has been careful with her money, life has thrown her a few curve balls.

For reasons completely beyond her control, she wasn’t very well set up for retirement. And – given that she’s nearly a decade older than me – we knew she couldn’t keep charging that hard forever.

Hence my brother’s evil plan…

Instead of splitting the estate into three equal shares, my brother and I each took a few thousand dollars and gave the remaining 95% to our sister.

We’ve kept up the fiction that the estate was much larger than any of us suspected, and our sister still believes that she received an equal one-third share.

It wasn’t a fortune, but it was enough to make her retirement possible and give her a comfortable cushion against future emergencies. My only regret is that it wasn’t my idea.

Because our sister really is beloved. Our father died when we were children, and she pretty much raised the rest of us. She’s one of the kindest, most supportive human beings you’re ever likely to meet. She deserves a bit of rest and security after a lifetime of hard work.

Getting back to OP’s question, we didn’t inherit millions and no one was cut out of the estate. But we clearly didn’t follow our mother’s intentions. I’m okay with that. And if Mom could see us now, I think she’d be okay with it too.

Share The Wealth Now

How awesome is Jeff and his brother’s plan for their sister? Their estate plan makes me want to have one more child so they can look out for each other after we’re gone. Alas, we’re probably too old.

Although some complain about the Boomer generation flourishing at the expense of younger generations, younger generations should be ecstatic because they will end up inheriting all the Boomer generation’s wealth.

I went to get a physical the other day and my 68-year-old nurse mentioned her parents bought property for her and her six siblings while they were toddlers. Her parents managed the properties as rentals and paid them off by the time the kids graduated from college.

Not a bad strategy at all. Once your housing cost is covered, life is much more manageable.

It makes no sense to rail against our parents who diligently saved and invested for decades so that we might live a better life. Instead, we should be thanking them.

There’s nothing more important than family. I hope we appreciate this fact while we’re still living. Instead of waiting until we’re dead to help our family members, we should do more to help them while alive.

Let’s check-in with our siblings and parents and see if everything is all right. I’m sure some will be too proud to ask for help. This is where it’s up to us to insist on helping no matter what.

Related:

A Massive Generational Wealth Transfer Is Why Everything Will Be OK

How To Get Your Parents To Pay For Everything As An Adult Child

Three Things I Learned From My Estate Planning Lawyer Everyone Should Do

Readers, have you figured out what you will leave to your loved ones? How did you determine how to divide your assets? Have you ever received more than your fair share of inheritance? If so, what did you do about it?

The post The Most Amazing Estate Plan You’ll Ever Read appeared first on Financial Samurai.

from https://www.financialsamurai.com/the-most-amazing-estate-plan-youll-ever-read/

[babysleepmiracle0]

The 6 Essentials On Being A Stay At Home Parent: Who, What, When, Where, Why and How?

A typical conversation of parents at home:

Person X: So what do you do for a living? Parent at home: I am with my children, I do what I love all day long and I'm happy. Person X: Oh, uh, your work? (Implying that we are defined by our role, our work, when it's just a label, a role and we are more than that.) Parent at home: Uh, I'm a family manager (hey it's nice said like that!)... Person X: (Question marks in the eyes.) Parent at home:... a parent at home, I stay home to raise my children. Possible answers: Person X: ''A what? (You repeat) What's that? '' ''(...). (Questions himself, tells himself it must be because you're mormon(my note: no offense!) or have no money. Take pity on you, will not discuss the subject anymore...) The weather's nice eh!'' ''You have to be busy with your children... but what do you do all day? '' ''Are you bored being home all the time?'' ''When will you return to work? '' ''Oh lucky you! You got time, you're home!'' Parent at home: ''(Feels obliged to detail his life.) It's by choice, yes it's fun, yes it is work, no I do not think of returning to work, we're not always at home, I've got as much time as you in a day one we just have to manage it well! (Would like others to be happy for him and that they see it's great most of the time: there is no set schedule, you can enjoy the nice weather, you're there for your child, it is natural, yes you can be accomplished in this role, etc.).''

It's really after making the choice to stay at home that we realize the prejudices or lack of information on this function in our society. Yet it is the most practised job through time and it is still important around the globe! Fortunately, this role can really make us happy and we can stop these questions, both in the minds of others than in ours with those that present themselves which make us doubt that this is the right choice, by passing the information on what is actually being a parent at home.

A tour on being a blissful parent at home...

Who?

Parents at home nowadays are those of a new lifestyle. Through time, typically at least one parent would care for children at home, at least until they entered school when it existed. The baby boomers saw women leave the house but often after being housewives, when children are older. In our days, stay at home parents of generations X and Y are not so numerous, but they do it by choice, measuring the benefits of doing so. They are mostly mothers, but also fathers, about 100,000 in Canada who like to combine this role with a work from home and are equally competent (as related in an article by Jean-Franois Gazaille). Parents who decide to stay at home put on hold their careers, or do it part time from home spending most of their time with their children. In short, it is an alternative to the hectic life of two parents working away from home, a chosen way of life, and it is a return to cohesive and natural values that were forgotten by an individualistic and materialistic society.

We could advance that more and more of the new parents of Generation Y, born in about 1980 to 1995, will choose to stay home because for them work is not the most important, even if the influence of the family has diminished in favour of peers, and they seek an alternative to flourish, take care of their children and have a better quality of life:

Unlike their parents, young people of Generation Y do not put work first. They refuse to work during holidays and weekends (except student employment) and want time off to decompress, because the mental and physical health appears to be their priority. They seek a better quality of life, balancing work and personal interest. (French Wikipedia, Generation Y).

What?

You are now at stay at home mom or dad, you have many varied tasks. Being a parent at home is like running a small business with love. From pregnancy to support throughout the life of the child, the parent at home juggles with giving love and attention to the whole family, education and discipline, needs, inventory management such as food, clothing and necessary activities, being a life coach, being available almost 24 hours on 24, 7 / 7. Yes, sometimes it's demanding, but yes you can also take it easy at times. Everything depends on your one income salary, the quality of your management, your choices and your attitude in life.

It is often devalued when it should be seen as a profession, it is calculated that a parent working at home should have a salary of about 115 000 (salary.com)! It is important to make it recognized better. On recognition of parents at home nowadays, even if we see the benefits of being a parent at home, people who do may be stigmatized and devalued. Their pillar role in society does not seem to be taking seriously, because in our industrialized societies people are judged by the revenue they make and social programs do not particularly benefit them. For example, in Quebec we could pay them the amount that is given to those who place their child in daycare. The political party ADQ wants to establish a salary for the parent at home, but it's not done yet. It is therefore advantageous to publish information on the benefits for all for a parent to stay at home, break down prejudices and join together to have a good social recognition:

- Is it unrealistic to think that one day, stay at home fathers could form a strong network capable of forming a lobby to influence policies of governments and family companies? - As I reported in my book, most fathers I interviewed argue that they have never experienced job any harder than being a parent. Therefore, men come to see how parental work, though vital, is socially devalued. They add their voices to those women who, for generations, claimed the valuation of unpaid work. (Sociologist, author of Do Men Mother?, Andrea Doucet, interviewed by Jean-Franois Gazaille)

When?

You can prepare to stay at home before having children up to stay home for the rest of your life if it suits you well. For example, we bought our house so one of us would stay home (me, ye!), on a calculation of a single parent working. We were sure to live well on one income. If you want to be a parent at home, you can also put the salary for the parent who will stay at home aside in a savings account, it will be both a financial cushion and a way to see if your lifestyle must be adjusted. Then you'll see it's relatively easy with willingness and preparedness to take the plunge!

Given that the quality of life seems to always improve and that the planet in general improves their living conditions, one might think that being a parent at home will remain an important role for such benefits as flexible hours, less fatigue among parents, and close parental presence for children.

Where?

It is called ''stay at home parent'', but really a better term would be ''parent with his child'' because this role has the ability to be mobile. Being less taken by work you can travel more if desired and have time to prepare it. There are plenty of stories of parents who have toured the world with their children, including sailing. They are truly inspirational, also it is one of our personal projects to travel when my kids are older. They may be schooled on the road, and they learn a lot from this experience.

The activities are not confined at home, in general. With time but no fixed plans, parent and child ''at home'' explore the surroundings, are present in the communities, activities and committees, and interact with society in general, for children not only with their peers. Still, the residence is the nest where the basic material is and is generally well organized so the parent at home can make their tasks with her child nearby, or sets activity periods together.

In industrialized societies, there is a choice between living as a tenant or owner. Parents at home who have restricted expenses often opt for an apartment, because the cost may seem lower. One can also stay in town and get rid of the car and its costs. But staying in a condo or house has its advantages, although some costs, because the amount given on the mortgage is a capital. To reduce expenses, at-home parents can buy a house in the regions because the costs are lower. Another advantage of staying there is that communities have greater solidarity values and there can be a good local support network (in addition to the non-local stay at home parents communities on the web that make it easy to stay connected to each other). Besides the regions repopulate today. Whatever the choice made, it reflects the values and needs of the family in question.

Why?

It is personal to each family who chooses this lifestyle, but here are some advantages and benefits: - More time with good management of it; - A return to family values that have been proven; - Possibility of a better attachment link child-parent, which is essential for the proper development of the child, and a close relationship that can continue for all of your lives, because the link has been fed and not remote. - An opportunity to fully meet all the needs of the family, be it those of the child, partner and yourself. - Possibility of flexible hours and accomplishment for the parent and the child; - More happiness! Indeed, a study by Wilcox and Nock demonstrated that when the mother stays at home (but it might as well be the father) the family is happier with fewer hours of work for each and not spending money to work, even if the parent who stays at home does not have a''career''; - The opportunity to be the educator, the main influence for his child and share all stages of life and magical moments with him. - The possibility of raising a citizen who has good values, solidarity, and accomplished being helped to follow his path. - An increase to the overall quality of life.

How?

Firstly, for those who are on the labour market, for one parent to be at home you must leave work to care for your child. You can do this even before pregnancy, but for most it will be during pregnancy or childbirth. If we plan to stay home, we can arrange the details to be able to do it before, adjust our standard of living on the future income and even take advance to start a part-time business or project that will be paying, ideally from house.

Once home, you start more specific family managing and it is good to continue to have a schedule for your tasks, even if it is super flexible, for not to get caught in a routine of ''laziness''- it's understood that just taking care of your child is not lazy but you must pay special attention to not forget the other tasks and needs that you must attain to. It is also important to stay connected with others such as parents at home, for example, be accomplished, and take care of your wellbeing.

Regarding what to do in particular, the choice is left free to each family, who are the best judges. It is even possible to send your child to daycare part time for socializing if that's what he wants and give you more time to relax or do a project. My only advice is that you must have fun at home, it is important. For some it is natural - the freedom from work, the joy of their child, the little moments of happiness are easy to see and enjoy. For others less used to it, do things such as going outside for some fresh air and taking vitamin D in the sun, eating pizza for lunch and try out the games your children do for example, you might be surprised how fun there is in there! I've just been climbing with mine this morning and I rediscovered how much fun it is. Being at home is to enjoy the magical moments of life, so write them, enjoy them thoroughly - you will realize the happiness in your life and be proud of what you do.

In closing I applaud all parents who decide to stay at home. First, you do what has the potential to be best for your entire family, including you because you can really thrive at home. Give it a try to see, but beware, trying this lifestyle is adopting it. And it is guaranteed that you will not regret having lived all those moments of tenderness, surprises, and of support when your child had difficulties, even if you later decide to return to working away from home, because you were there for your child during important years of his life and you did all you could to give him the best.

Be proud of your choice of being a parent at home!

Oh, and don't forget to pass this article to people in your surrounding, who will know more about it... Also, who knows, there may someone looking for information to be one of the blissful stay at home parents that you could connect with.

By doing this 1 weird trick, can you really get your baby to sleep in less than one minute?  

[generaladviceca]

Advice to youth 13-25

Become aware of how mature you should be for your age. It’s the umbrella that affects everything.

Take the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) and the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) – to learn how you tick.

Learn about your family. https://www.generaladvice.org/rate-your-family/ .   [More sites are needed.]

Be open to individual and group therapy. Also family therapy.  We didn’t hear of it in my day.

Your maturity affects your

Values –  https://www.timelessissues.com/traditional-values/

View of sex – https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens.  We didn’t have sex-education.  Do most anything to avoid an unplanned pregnancy, which happens 45% of the time in the U.S.  42% of those end in abortion [which I favor].

Idealism – cults, communes, radical religion or extreme politics to save the world.

Other

Avoid joining the military. I was in when you had to join. Waste.

Take interest tests.

Take the Stanford-Binet IQ test to be realistic about how hard you will have to work if you choose college. No point in breaking your heart.

Choose schools that teach practical skills. Much of college does not.  Half the courses I was required to take in college were useless.  All that effort and expense for nothing.  But if you feel you have to get college degree or the equivalent, search for every possible shortcut:  – alternatives to college – competency-based education  – comprehensive tests for college credit  – credit for job experience  – credit for what you know  – equivalency exams  – micro degrees, etc.  I wish I’d had them. One such program, as of 018, was http://discoverpraxis.com/.

The idea is to live and work in the real world. College is not.  Idealism is not.  The military is not – compared to civilian life.  Some say religion is not.  Working for the government is not as much as the private sector is.

Job hunting tips – https://www.generaladvice.org/job-hunting-tips/  The best ‘therapy’ I ever got.

Over the years you will see people making lots of mistakes.  The earlier you start on the above the better.

====================================================== = = =

More:

       As a former school bus driver, AmeriCorps-VISTA volunteer, teacher, social worker, political aide, landlord, and as a senior, I continue:

       If raised in an oppressive, overly strict family, you will read this as if taking on more heavy burdens to plod thru life with, bowed over by these ideas as great weights.  If raised in a sensible family, you’ll listen to the below and come out well.  If raised in a family that has spoiled you, you won’t know what I’m talking about, or care – everyone owes you everything; why be responsible?        My youth was in the 50s.  Those times were not as permissive as today.  Students, teachers and principals dressed better.  Teachers had more authority.  We didn’t need security guards on campus. We didn’t have social promotion, easy scholarships, and student loans.  People weren’t entitled to food stamps, extended unemployment benefits, medicaid, legal aid, rent subsidies, heat subsidies and easy access to disability.  We didn’t go for counseling when the sun didn’t come out.  Unskilled work wasn’t ‘menial’.  It was a job you were glad to have and you took pride in it.Background

       You’re predestined in many ways by your family, neighborhood, and schools.  You’ll be a lot like your folks and speak and think like your teenage friends.

       Hopefully your parents will get you into good schools.  http://www.timelessissues.com/category/education/education-myths/

Teen years   13-20

       Some adults feel they missed something in their youth and tend to live through you and fawn over you telling you you are the first to discover slang, the opposite sex, muscles, curves, music, rhythm, dances, styles, cars, sports, hanging out, cruising, being macho and feminine, discovering thrills, what is ‘in and out`, first to have such energy, disagree with your folks, ‘rebel’, search for your identity, be in a ‘new’ era, discover hypocrisy, want ‘change’ … blah blah.

       Some adults cater to you, want you to buy their records, clothes, food, entertainment, magazines, movies, sports equipment, and join their cult, crusade, cause, religion and save the world.

Dynamics

You feel invincible and know everything.

Peer pressure is very strong and can help or hurt.

You want freedom but not the responsibility that comes with it – especially if spoiled.

You don’t have experience and you lack judgment.  You need input from older people.

Your folks should have raised you with traditional values.  Then you would have listened when they and other adults told you about smoking, alcohol, drugs, sex, lgbt, love, cults, and sects.

Other:

       Don’t fight – too much chance of permanent injury and lawsuits.

       Don’t go to extremes over sports.

       Some youth live by, through, and for music – feeling it will cure the world. You’re often told rock and roll and fast dancing were new. Wrong – before them there was jitterbug, boogie woogie, the lindy, the charleston …..

       You’re told the Beatles and folk singers changed the world.  They wish.

       Don’t try to be the most popular; your strengths may be in other areas.  Play to your strengths.  Very important.

       You’re first judged on your appearance.  The more on the outside, the less on the inside – meaning the youth that goes overboard with the hair, tattoos, piercings and clothes on the outside, is trying to make up for what he or she lacks on the inside.

       The way you dress affects your behavior.  Dress conservatively.  It will help when applying for a job.  So will not having tattoos and piercings.

       The second way you’re judged is how you talk – clearly, politely, intelligently, confidently, without resorting to ‘ya know, ahhh, like I mean, ya know, ahh, know what I’m saying…. ‘

       You have a huge advantage with the internet, gps, and cell phones.  Computers can make you feel dumb.  You’re not.  Hang in and you will eventually learn what you can use.

       Some adults tell you you can be anything you want.  Then you get into something you can’t handle, fail, and you blame yourself.  You can’t be anything you want, but you can be more than what you are.

       ‘Child’ is used to describe anyone under 18.  Nonsense.  A teenager is not a ‘child’.

       You can avoid poverty if you finish high school, get a full-time job and wait till you’re 21 to get married and have children, according to the Brookings Institute.

       Don’t ever buy a new car………. if you want to save money.

Military

       Many young people join to mature – big mistake.  While the military offers some unique experiences, you’ll mature and progress better and faster in the real world.

College

Some people get college degrees and never secure a job worth the effort it took.

Some colleges keep students for their sports ability. One couldn’t read a menu.  Tennis players can turn pro at age 15.  Why not others?   Because colleges don’t want to lose the money certain sports bring in.

Many students graduate verbose, self-centered, thinking they are objective and not prejudiced and feel they have a monopoly on truth.

https://www.timelessissues.com/category/education/how-useful-was-college/

Freedom

       Between finishing school without huge debt and starting a family you are FREE.  It’s a wonderful, glorious time – a chance to travel which the Australians call a ‘walkabout’.  Germans call it a ‘wunder year’.  Others chase dreams in Hollywood, Nashville, Wash, D.C., or New York.  There are those who never had the chance to follow their dreams and wonder for years if they could have made it.  There are those who took the chance, worked hard, failed, but glad they tried.  Of those that made it, some say the best part was the journey, not the final success.  I wouldn’t trade anything for the 8 years I spent in New York after finishing college.

Age  20-25

The media worshiped the baby boomers, born 1946 – 64, because there were so many of them.

‘Lost generation’ –  a silly term.

The media worshipped Woodstock.  Conservative George Will said it was delayed adolescence, mass immaturity, and sandbox revolution.

Bruno Bettelheim said hippies’ emotional development was at level of a temper tantrum.

Beware of fads and far out stuff: dowsing, poltergeist, apparitions, fire walking, telepathy, premonition, reincarnation, channeling, bending silverware, weegie boards, up with people, moral rearmament, miracles, new age stuff …

Put aside the naive, blind, forced over-emphasis on positives, feel-good, togetherness, relationships-mania, everyone being equal in every way, everyone’s a winner, everything’s ‘new’, and other pied piper schemes.

Hippies and others with a fuzzy, odd appearance usually have fuzzy, odd ideas.

Don’t put your leaders on a pedestal and believe in them more than you believe in yourself.

Don’t look for a magic person in romance, friendship, work or anything.

Don’t look for a set of beliefs that claims to have all the answers.

Some years back 18 yr. olds cried out to lower the voting age to 18. It was lowered and only 30% of them voted.

Idealism, extremism, liberalism, religion

https://www.timelessissues.com/americorps-idealistic/https://www.timelessissues.com/category/politics/extremism/

https://www.timelessissues.com/category/politics/liberal-vs-conservative/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antireligion

Cults

       ‘Cults appeal to young people with low self-esteem in their late teens and early 20s when they are forming their identities and are most open to changing their religious outlook.  The breakup of a relationship, death of a loved one, etc.  leave some vulnerable.  They want the 24-hour structure and authority of a cult.  It simplifies life.  There is sleep deprivation, limiting outside contacts, and a lack of privacy and time for reflection.  They give up their worries.   They think more of others than themselves.  They look to gurus.

       ‘The philosophy isn’t the main draw.  It’s the warmth and enthusiasm of members or the charisma of the leader, acceptance, belonging at the price of their thinking and identity.  Leaders become corrupted by power.  The majority of members in hi-demand groups leave in year or two.’  [Source unknown]

Work

I read the working class wants to leave school, work and start a family earlier than the rest of the population. They’re less interested in college and shouldn’t be made to feel they should go.

Some of you don’t know much about work because of being spoiled and because of minimum wage, unions, licensing, and ‘child’ labor laws.

I’ve hired 18 yr. old immigrants that worked circles around American 18 yr. olds.

If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

You won’t make a lot of money right out of high school.

Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity, nor is minimum wage.

The more minimum wage is raised, the more young people are kept out of entry jobs – especially minority youth.

Many people, even with advanced qualifications, have to settle for work they are not wild about.

Sometimes employers hire people on as temporaries so they can see who they want to keep as permanents.

Many people work for the government as those jobs are more secure.

The goal for many is independence, but few achieve it.

Singles    –   http://algarner.com/category/thesinglescircuit/

Summary

You’re at a great age – full of energy, creativity, ideas, and plans.

You don’t have to figure out everything by age 25.

You feel you will be trim and fit forever, find a great job, find a magic person for romance, and make a lot of money. Be practical.

Keep an overview.

Continually work on discovering your primary interests.

You’re limited physically [in sports] and mentally [in school], but not in character – develop good values.

Equally important is your mental health – are you angry, alienated, compulsive, spoiled, overly-generous, whatever?

Many parts of life are unfair.

You’ll be amazed at the failures you‘ll have to endure. They can make or break you.

Many successful people had many failures but learned to benefit from them.  PRINCE was a famous recording artist.  Half his projects were failures.  Failures are guidelines.

You will find a huge lack of common sense in most people and every kind of work – especially government work as it doesn’t have the competition the private sector does.

Definitely go to reunions – they are good for perspective.

Someday you’ll be giving advice like this.

——————————————————————

Source: https://www.generaladvice.org/youth-advice-to-youth/