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gotham-ruaidh · 3 months

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Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) || Chapter 12a (Handle With Care) || Chapter 12b (I’m So Tired of Being Lonely) || Chapter 13a (Angel) || Chapter 13b (She’s My Addiction) || Chapter 13c (Patience) || Chapter 14a (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14b (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14c (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 15a (Dreams) || Chapter 15b (I Sing A Song of Love) || Chapter 15c (You Can Do This If You Try) || Chapter 16 (Let That Feeling Grab You Deep Inside || Chapter 17A: Never Tear Us Apart || Chapter 17B: It’s Tough To Be Somebody, And It’s Hard Not To Fall Apart || Chapter 17C: I’m Wishing, Lord, That I Was Stoned || Chapter 18: Turn The Page || Chapter 19A: When You’re Alone, Do You Let Go? || Chapter 19B: Heading For A Spin ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 20A: I Don't Need Nothing When I'm By Your Side

So hold me close, better hang on tight Buckle up, baby, it's a bumpy ride We're two kids hitching down the road of life Our world, our fight

-- “Born To Be My Baby,” Bon Jovi (1988) [click here to listen]

North Carolina || February 1989

Jamie frowned, looking back and forth between the shelf he’d just put together and the three unpacked boxes of books (two marked CLAIRE, one marked JAMIE).

Would she like them organized alphabetically by author? Genre? Size?

He rubbed the back of his neck, thinking. Or perhaps she wanted medical books in her workroom? And maybe he could put his music books on the cabinet in his studio –

“There you are.”

He hadn’t heard Claire pad into the room – at some point they would need to get throw rugs to protect the gorgeous old hardwood floors – and smiled as she effortlessly stepped into his embrace.

They held each other for a long moment – his lips against her hair, her face buried in the safety of his neck.

Almost three months since the acoustic tour had ended, the night before Claire’s birthday. About six weeks since they had closed on their dream house, nestled against a mountain in the forests of North Carolina, not too far from The Ridge. And about two weeks since the items in storage – from her packed-up apartment in Boston, and his packed-up house in Los Angeles – had arrived.

The property had everything they needed. Privacy and solitude, of course. An old barn that they were using as a garage for Jamie’s motorcycle and cars. The house – an old cabin, really, dating from the 1800s and which had been lovingly expanded over the years – was perfect. A spacious living room, complete with the original stone fireplace. An eat-in kitchen, with newly replaced appliances. Two small rooms off the back that were now his music studio and her workroom – spaces to pursue their interests. A modestly-sized master bedroom. And a small extra bedroom – which for now was for guests, though God willing would be a nursery very soon.

Claire had insisted on doing two things quickly, before spending their time unpacking all the boxes.

The first was to hang his six gold and two platinum records in his studio – and he agreed, after he had hung her framed medical school diploma on the wall of her workroom.

The second was to install the fax machine on the bare floor of the studio – which, together with the phone, was their only link to the outside world.

For as much as they isolated themselves in this beautiful, peaceful place – the world pushed along without them.

In March, they would leave for L.A. and three weeks of rehearsals with the band. Maybe play a few small gigs in clubs on the Sunset Strip – Jamie had always wanted to do that. And in April, they’d fly to Europe, and kick off the tour that had swelled to 120 dates and stretched into 1990.

Colum was busier than ever – finalizing logistics, negotiating with local promoters, running interference with the suits from the label, upgrading the concerts from arenas to soccer stadiums. He had a conference call with the band every Tuesday – with Ian calling in from Lallybroch in upstate New York, and Angus from various resort spots in Mexico and the Caribbean (“I can’t believe Charlotte and Molly haven’t worn him out yet,” Jamie had mused to Claire one day. She had only shrugged and said, “they take care of each other”). Colum would always have a punchlist of decisions for the band – OK to book studio time during the week off in Scandinavia in July? The roadies couldn’t figure out the pyro setup without the band, OK to wait until rehearsals? They would need to film at least three music videos, which one could be a live performance? – and follow up with decisions in a fax sent later that day.

Jamie had been clear with Colum that he had three conditions for the tour: that Claire would be with him, that Raymond would be traveling with the band, and that the same no alcohol/drugs/groupies rule from the acoustic tour would carry through to this tour. Of course Colum had agreed. Just as he’d agreed to make provisions for Jenny to periodically fly out to visit Ian, and for Angus to always have a suite with two bathrooms to keep his girlfriends happy.

Claire and Jamie knew that this tour would be difficult, for so many different reasons. But they would be better prepared this time, to draw strength from each other, and to have Raymond for support. And maybe, just maybe they would return home from Europe with the best souvenir of all…

“Another fax from Colum,” Claire murmured after a long while.

Jamie snorted against her hair. “I don’t know whether to be impressed or annoyed.”

“I do admire how hard he’s working for you and for the band. And how much he’s keeping all of you in the loop on the decisions he’s making. He doesn’t want any surprises.”

“I’d imagine not. The amount of bullshit he has to be putting up with right now must be insane. I just hope he doesn’t crack.”

“He never said if he’s bringing Tricia on the tour.” Tricia – Colum’s wife of more than ten years. She stood a head taller than her husband, still impossibly beautiful in her late thirties, smiling for every frown on her husband’s face. Claire had only met her once – couldn’t say she really knew her – but she knew enough about her.

How she had first met Colum at a party in 1970, when he was a roadie for Led Zeppelin and she was part of a gaggle of groupies that held court at the Riot House in L.A.

How, when she and her girlfriends joined the Led Zep tour the following summer, he had punched out the lighting guy at the Cow Palace in San Francisco when he heard the guy didn’t understand what Tricia meant by saying “no”.

How Geordie Ash – the reporter who had put Jamie (and, in a way, Claire) on the map last year with that Rolling Stone article – had sent flowers to her hotel room every day for a month during Led Zeppelin’s 1973 U.S. tour. Not knowing, of course, that she was allergic to lilies – or how Colum, who knew more about her by that point than he cared to admit, had wordlessly disposed of them for her, every day that month.

“I don’t think she likes to tour.” Jamie’s thumb traced lazy circles on the skin of Claire’s back. “Too many bad memories.”

If you asked any rock journalist or musician who had found Alex MacGregor – assistant to Led Zeppelin manager Peter Grant – dead in his Seattle hotel room in the spring of 1975, they would all say quite confidently that it had been Colum Laird, who by that point had advanced to lead Zeppelin’s touring crew.

But a handful of people – Peter Grant, and Colum, and Jamie, and now Claire – knew the truth.

Tricia woke up, Alex cold beside her in bed, a needle in his arm. The only thing she knew to do was slip quietly down the hall, tumbling into Colum’s room…and finally, his arms. Where she had remained ever since.

“I couldn’t imagine being away from you for so long.” Claire sighed. “I don’t know how they make it work.”

Jamie shrugged. “They love each other very deeply. They fixed the broken pieces in each other. And now she has the two boys to keep her busy.” He kissed her forehead. “Something for us to aspire to, perhaps. What’s in the fax?”

She held it out for him to read. Sharing a smile at Colum’s scrawl.

J+C: I’m not calling because I interrupted enough moments between you on tour and I’ll probably do it again this year. I don’t have Raymond’s info pls have him get in touch so we have a copy of his credentials and the travel agent can make all arrangements for Europe. I got the label to foot the bill for his travel meals and hotels, convinced them it’s a business expense, you’re welcome. Stay out of trouble. Colum.

“We’ll have him give Colum a call after he arrives this afternoon,” Jamie mused, folding the fax and sliding it into the back pocket of his jeans.

Claire nodded. “The guest room is all ready. And I’m glad Dougal and Gillian and William will be here tomorrow – I’m so happy they’re so close by.”

Jamie squeezed her shoulder, and released her. “As am I. Now, I have a question for you about these books…”

#outlander #outlander fanfic #jamie and claire #little bit better than i used to be

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thefrogdalorian · 5 months

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The Best of Both Worlds - Chapter Six

Din Djarin x Female Reader Modern!AU

❁ Series Masterlist ❁ My Masterlist ❁ Read on AO3 ❁

Word Count: 7105 Rating: General Summary: Din returns to the set of The Mandalorian to begin filming a new season. Despite his experience and capability, he finds that he struggles to focus as his thoughts remain firmly fixed on a certain someone... Content Warnings: None! Author's Note: Nice to meet a few more Mando characters in this chapter. Din has a cruuuuuuuuush. Also, I love writing Peli and Din's relationship in any universe. Thanks for all the comments and love you're showing to this baby so far, it means the world! Huge thanks also to the wonderful @suresnips for being my beta! ♡

6. With A Little Help From My Friends [Din's POV]

For the first few weeks while the third season of The Mandalorian had been in pre-production, things were a little haphazard in terms of personnel that were present in the studios – known as The Volume – where the show was filmed. Din appreciated the sparsely populated studios. After all, less people meant less opportunities for someone to scrutinise his identity. Although Peli Motto, the person he was closest to on the cast, had been present and the two had hung out in Din’s trailer plenty of times, there had been markedly fewer people than usual wandering around the studios.

Now, however, it was Monday morning and the first week of filming was set to begin. That brought more people to The Volume. A lot more.

Din considered that he should have been used to it by now. It was, after all, the third season of the show. So far, his identity had successfully remained the closely guarded secret that he wanted it to be. Much of that was thanks to the showrunners, Jim and Dale. They were, after all, the only people present at The Volume at any given moment who had any idea of Din’s identity. That was a thought that both comforted him and made him nervous.

It was reassuring to know how closely they had guarded Din’s secret and abided by his wishes. Of course, some of that was motivated by the legal trouble they could become embroiled in should they ever reveal Din’s identity without his consent. But Din often thought fondly of how understanding the two men were throughout the sordid process of negotiating the contract with Disney. Jim and Dale had both pushed for Din to be The Mandalorian, insisting that, for them, there would be no second choice. It was Din or nothing.

Disney's eventual decision to accept the anonymity clause had been mostly motivated by how much Jim and Dale had stood by Din during discussions and how much they had wanted him as Mando in the first place. It was a debt that Din knew he could never truly repay to the two men who had flown in from Los Angeles over the weekend, ready for production to properly get underway. Din was looking forward to catching up with the two of them, who always made an effort to check in with him and inquire about how he and Grogu were adapting to life in a new country. Indeed, it was the two of them who had put Din in contact with a woman called Fennec Shand, who worked for the production company. It was her job to make sure Din and Grogu were sufficiently settled. Fennec often organised excursions, including the tour Din had enjoyed with Grogu at the British Museum on Friday night.

It was that very tour which Din had spent the majority of his weekend thinking about rather than mentally preparing for the intense filming schedule which lay ahead of him. Din was unsure whether he believed in fate, or destiny. But surely encountering her again, the girl who he had felt instantly drawn to after her eloquent speech in his defence at ForceCon, had not been a coincidence. As he stood there in the crowded hall, watching her disappear into the crowd, Din had wished against all probabilities that he could just see her again, one more time. Lo and behold, a few days later, there she was. Din did more than see her again. This time, he was free to interact with her without the confines of his armour and helmet. He marvelled as she shared her knowledge, expertise and showed an incredible amount of patience and understanding towards Grogu especially.

It was seeing her interact with Grogu that had really meant everything to Din. He already knew, after her speech, that she possessed many qualities that he valued in a person. However, to witness the compassion and patience she had extended to the nervous little boy, even after Grogu had caused somewhat of a commotion, it was difficult for Din to quantify just how much that simple act of understanding meant to him.

Now that he had crossed paths with her again, Din knew that she was a presence that he wanted in his life going forward. Equally, Din knew that it would probably be immoral of him to explore something with the girl. There was no way he could be completely honest with her about his identity, certainly not while they were still getting to know each other. That meant Din would inevitably have to lie while he evaluated whether he could trust her with his secret.

Then there was the question of how she would feel should she ever find out that he had been untruthful. Lying was not in Din Djarin’s nature; he never wanted to lie to her, he knew that would likely cause hurt further down the line. How would she feel if she ever found out that he was keeping such an enormous secret from her?

Despite the moral dilemma, Din kept returning to how he had felt when they were together. The rush that Din had when he was in her presence was indescribable. He felt a genuine connection with her immediately, despite how aloof he had probably appeared when she first walked up to him and Grogu. The sight of her had knocked all air out of his lungs even with all of the training he had to maintain his composure.

But then there was the thrill that Din had actually been able to talk to her and look at her without the confines of his helmet, all while knowing that she was seeing him for who he was and getting to know him as the man, rather than The Mandalorian. It was an enthralling experience.

So, Din had spent the majority of the weekend pondering his next move. Of course, he could return to the museum and ask after her, but Din feared that would be inappropriate and overstepping his boundaries. He wondered whether he should hang around the museum at closing time and wait for her to emerge. He wanted her to know precisely how much the time they had spent together had meant to him. Above all, Din wanted to continue getting to know her and determine whether the two of them could build a future together.

With all thoughts of how to make the next move, Din knew he was a little distracted. Which wasn’t exactly ideal right before an intense filming schedule got underway. Despite the fact that he was now onset and should be in full Mando mode, Din found that as he sat there in his trailer with Grogu, he was still distracted. His mind remained firmly fixated on the incredible girl from the museum that he wanted to know better.

A knock at the door pulled Din from his musings and he grabbed his helmet before unlocking the door. The familiar, tanned face and dark brown eyes of the man who cared for Grogu onset, called Iggy, greeted Din.

“Hi Mando,” Iggy chirped, “I’ve been sent to care for Grogu.”

“I thought I wasn’t due on set yet?” Din replied, slightly taken aback at his presence.

“Oh, you’re not. But Jim and Dale have requested your presence in their office,” Iggy explained.

“Alright. Come in, Iggy,” Din opened the door further and waved the lanky man with messy black hair that stood up in various directions, into the room.

Meetings like this with Jim and Dale were not unheard of, so Din had no reason to be particularly troubled by the fact that he had been summoned to their office. But there was a feeling of nervousness that lingered in his gut at his presence being requested like this. Nevertheless, after saying goodbye to Grogu and leaving him happily drinking a carton of juice while resting on Iggy’s lap, Din made his way to Jim and Dale’s offices.

Din’s heart dropped when he saw the grim faces of the two men behind the desk of their office. Instantly, he knew that instinct in his gut was correct. Whatever the subject of this meeting was, it was going to be an uncomfortable one. At once, the worst possible scenarios began flicking through Din’s mind. Perhaps he had been summoned here so Jim and Dale could tell him that his role had been cut from the new season, they wanted to go in a different direction and needed someone who was willing to reveal his face. Din was trembling; he stood frozen inside the doorway as he felt as though everything was about to come crashing down all around him.

Din felt sickened as he realised that his life, the one he had been building here with his son in the peaceful English countryside and the girl that he had met would, in a few moments, be cruelly ripped from him. Din was certain that the men before him were about to deliver a crushing blow as they informed him that he was no longer wanted for the role of The Mandalorian. The very role that he had been initially hesitant to accept, but had changed so many things for him.

It was Jim’s voice who finally broke through his racing thoughts and compelled him to move.

“Take a seat, Din,” Jim offered, gesturing to the chair on the other side of the desk from where the two of them sat.

Din apprehensively moved across the room and sat opposite the two men. The atmosphere was thick with an emotion that Din could not place, but judging by the glum, serious expressions that the two men before him wore, he knew in his gut that it was not positive. Din took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut beneath his helmet as he braced for impact.

“Din, we have some concerns that we just wanted to address with you before filming begins,” the cowboy-hat wearing co-creator, Dale, began speaking, his beady eyes peering out at Din from underneath his cowboy hat that was a permanent fixture on top of his head. “Do you have any idea what this could be about?”

Din’s heart was thundering so loudly that he was sure it must have been audible, reverberating off the Beskar. He shook his head slowly, completely taken off-guard by Dale’s question.

“Well, there have been a number of social media posts speculating that the real Mando was at ForceCon a couple weekends ago,” Jim explained. “Din… you wouldn’t happen to have any idea why people would think that, would you?

Din sighed deeply. The foolish decision that he had made without thinking it through because of Peli Motto, of all people, looked set to cost him dear. All he could do now was beg Jim and Dale for mercy, appeal to their humanity and let them know that it had just been a stupid mistake and nothing more.

“Yes. I do know why…” Din sighed and braced himself for what he was about to admit, “it was me,” Din finished, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m so sorry if this has caused any headaches for you. I was not thinking clearly. Peli gave me an invitation and mentioned the con. My curiosity got the better of me. I truly apologise, from the bottom of my heart.”

“Thank you for owning up to it, Din,” Dale said and for the first time his expression shifted into something other than a frown. It didn’t fill Din with much more confidence and Dale wasn’t suddenly smiling, but at least it was slightly more reassuring than the stony-faced expressions that he had initially been greeted with.

“Look, Din. We respect your reasoning absolutely for not revealing yourself to the public. If you’ll remember, we backed you the entire way during the negotiations with Disney,” Jim explained, using his hands to emphasise his point. “ choosing to go to a convention like that? Man, what were you thinking?! Your cover could have easily been blown.”

“I mean, that was really dangerous. There were the biggest fans in the world there, thousands and thousands of them. We went for an appearance and it was crazy, the levels of fanaticism,” Dale added and Din internally cringed, not realising just how many layers of danger he had placed himself in. “The photos of your costume went viral, we had to get someone from the PR team to create a fake account on social media claiming that they were the person behind the cosplay so the fans had an explanation. It had to come from somewhere. I just… I really don’t know what you were thinking, Din.”

“Honestly, I wasn’t thinking,” Din swallowed, suddenly feeling incredibly ashamed at his recklessness. It was so unlike him. But he seized the opportunity to defend himself. After all, if Jim and Dale had really called him in here to fire him, he at least wanted to say his piece before they delivered such a crushing blow. “A castmate enthused to me about the con and she handed me some passes that the organisers had sent her. My curiosity got the better of me. I know how… things got out of hand after my appearance at the hospital. I should have consulted with you both first. I’m sorry.” Din said earnestly, although he was thankful that his helmet was covering his face. Din was unused to handling sensitive conversations like this face to face and his cheeks were burning an embarrassing shade of red beneath his helmet.

Jim and Dale glanced at each other in some wordless form of communication, which Din was unable to decipher. He felt his already sweaty palms moisten further in the leather gloves that he was wearing. Regardless of what it meant, Din knew that the look did not fill him with much confidence and he suddenly felt an overwhelming need to defend himself further.

“Look, if my actions in going to the convention were… a step too far and my position is now untenable, then I suppose I understand. I’ll be disappointed, of course, and firing me would uproot Grogu’s life too. But he’ll get over it. We all do,” Din said quietly, as much for his own benefit as Jim and Dale’s

“Fire you? Din Djarin, you are The Mandalorian!” Jim exclaimed, clearly incredulous at the notion that they would ever contemplate such an action. “Without you, this show would not be possible. We didn’t call you into this meeting to lecture you, I apologise if you were under that impression.”

“Yeah, the absolute last thing we would want to do is bring you any additional stress right before we begin such a busy period of filming. Jim and I were just concerned for you. Din, we don’t want you to be exposed before you are ready for the world to know who you are, if that time ever comes. The precautions that we have in place for you are unprecedented, there is nothing else like it. The amount of NDAs, the security around the studio, the way you travel to work and hide your face constantly. It is a new experience for all of us. I’ve been in this industry for many years and when you came to us with your demands of privacy… Well, we’d never encountered anything like it. But we’re in this together. You’re worth this, Din.” Dale said, his reassuring words comforted Din instantly.

“Thank you,” Din said, voice suddenly thick with emotion.

“If there’s anything at all we can help you with, you know you can always talk to us. No problem is too insignificant,” Jim said, kindly. “How was the museum visit, by the way? Did you and Grogu have fun?”

Din was once again thankful that the helmet was covering his blushes. Jim’s question forced him to cast his mind back to the museum, to her…

“It was wonderful, thanks,” Din breathed. “Grogu and I learnt a lot. I appreciate the excursions you two and Fennec organise for us.”

“You’re welcome, Din. Anything we can do to help you feel settled,” Jim nodded. “If you ever want to organise one yourself, you know you can contact Fennec. Her job is to assist you and always make sure that you and Grogu are happy and settled.”

“I appreciate that. Really, it means a lot,” Din said appreciatively. “Being here in a new country with Grogu is always a little lonely, but the visits help.”

“Well, if you ever want to organise any more, don’t be afraid to contact Fennec,” Jim nodded.

“Are you going to be okay with filming today?” Dale asked

“Yes,” Din said instantly.

Din knew that his head was probably elsewhere, but there was no way he would ever let down anyone else by refusing to film. Although he knew that there were plenty of intense action scenes and stunts that he would have to perform on this particular filming day that would take maximum concentration, Din was confident in his abilities to see them through. They were scenes that Din should be able to film in his sleep, with stunts that were as natural to him as an intake of breath.

The reality, though, of standing there in front of a set full of people looking at him expectantly was quite different. Din was hoping that by falling back into the routine of filming, that he would soon be distracted from the thoughts of the girl from the panel and the museum that had been racing through his mind since Friday.

He could not forget the glances she had thrown his way, the way her eyes lingered on him and the noticeable loss of her composure after he had compared her to the beautiful exhibits. Din was in awe of her knowledge about everything in the museum, the way she had shared it without being patronising. She was passionate, not arrogant, and had shown such patience and kindness to Grogu.

Din knew that he had to concentrate. Every take that he messed up inevitably cost money. But more than the financial repercussions, Din wanted to set the tone of filming for season three to a positive, productive one. Yet the ongoing dilemma of what to do going forward regarding his feelings for the girl were continuing to trouble Din.

It was a simple scene, in comparison to some of the intricate stunts with multiple moving parts that Din had to film in the past. All he had to do was fling himself across a cantina bar and punch a couple of aliens in the face. It was a move he had done hundreds of times in his life, both as The Mandalorian and in the life of violence he had known before Grogu. But today, Din could not get it right.

Din had reassured the director and stunt coordinator that he knew what was expected of him after he missed the first couple of takes, which was wholly uncharacteristic of someone who was usually as efficient as Din prided himself on being. It wasn’t a lie, either; Din knew exactly what was expected of him.

It was not his body that was failing him, it was his mind that was distracted, centred on events and people far away from this set. As he set himself for the latest take, crouching slightly and anticipating the vocal cue that would signal when he needed to move, Din shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He focused on his breathing, attempting to centre himself in the Star Wars galaxy and embody the formidable, ruthless bounty hunter that he was meant to be.

But it was hopeless. When Din closed his eyes, he only saw her face. The take began, but he could not stop thinking about her. About how much he wanted to see her again and how he would do whatever it took to cross paths with her and let her know how important she was to him.

“CUT!” the shout from the director startled Din out of the trance he had seemingly entered into once again.

Din looked around then, and noticed the annoyed faces of the cast and crew. At first, they had been patient with him and tried to hide their disdain. Now, though, it was plain to see how disappointed they were with Din’s lack of composure. He felt awful, as though he was wasting everyone’s time. He knew he needed to get a grip.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Din said apologetically, after messing up the take yet again. “I really don’t know what’s wrong with me today,” he murmured dismissively, although Din knew full well exactly what the cause for his sudden lack of professionalism was.

“Look, Mando, it’s fine,” the director, a man called Gideon, said in his distinctive husky tones as he wandered towards Din. “We’ll take an early break, you can go back to your trailer, get something to eat and then we’ll give this another go after lunch. We all have off days. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thank you,” Din said quietly, appreciative of the understanding and compassion that Gideon had shown him.

The two had occasionally had their own creative differences and disagreements and Din was certain that he would not be friends with him outside of work. But within The Volume, they were amicable, at the very least. There was mutual respect there and a begrudging fondness that neither would admit to the other. When all was said and done, though, Din knew that Gideon wanted the best for the show and ultimately that meant working with Din, rather than against him.

Din retreated to his room, proverbial tail between his legs. He was disappointed in himself for inconveniencing everyone. Although, he at least had Jim’s comforting words to focus on. Din knew he was The Mandalorian, he had put a little bit of his soul into this character. No one would ever be able to take that away from him, bad day or not.

Din was optimistic that a bit of downtime with Grogu and some food would revitalise him and leave him able to complete his scenes in the afternoon. Walking through the door of his trailer, which was more like a comfortable suite of a hotel room in a corner of the building than a traditional trailer, to see the smiling face of his son lifted Din’s spirits already.

The room that Din had to relax in between takes was a windowless room, tucked in the corner of the studios, that had at first evoked feelings of claustrophobia, but now Din appreciated for the privacy it afforded him and Grogu. A lack of natural light was a hardship he was more than prepared to bear to maintain his privacy.

Iggy and Grogu were sprawled out on their stomachs, a box of felt tip pens was open and Din watched with pride as his son focused on the picture before him. Din could see a sliver of pink as Grogu stuck his tongue out and furrowed his brow in concentration. Iggy sat up as soon as Din walked through the door, nodding at the Mandalorian who loomed over him.

“Hi Mando! Didn’t expect to see you so soon,” Iggy smiled. “Grogu and I have spent the morning doing some colouring in. He did really well, I’m sure he can’t wait to show you what he made!”

“Wonderful, I’m looking forward to seeing it,” Din said, nodding proudly at his son. “Thanks, Iggy.”

“No problem!” Iggy beamed as he stood up. “Well, I’ll leave the two of you to your lunch. I'll be back when it's time to go to set!”

The lock of the door clicking the shut symbolised that Iggy was gone and Din was finally alone with his son. He promptly removed his helmet, relieved to finally feel the air on his face once more. Din picked Grogu and his colouring book up and made his way over to the sofa, sitting Grogu in his lap, ready to appreciate his son's creations. Din had hoped that just the two of them together might have gone some way to calming his frayed nerves. But despite the overwhelming calmness and sense of purpose that Din felt whenever he was in Grogu’s presence, and even as his son proudly showed him the pages of the colouring book he had completed, Din still could not relax.

“They look amazing, buddy,” Din praised as Grogu showed him a page which, coincidentally, showed a rhinoceros.

Din was fairly certain that rhinos were not purple with bright red spots, and even though the scrawled swirls ventured outside the lines in plenty of places, Din did not care. He was endlessly proud of his son, to him it was a greater masterpiece than Dürer’s rhino. To most people, it was just a messy, childish scribble, but Din believed that it belonged amongst the finest exhibits in the British Museum. There he was, thinking of her again.

Grogu excitedly showed Din a few more of his colourings, before Din decided it was time for the two of them to eat some lunch. Keeping his identity secret meant that Din could not eat at craft services with the rest of the cast, it would have been impractical to eat underneath his helmet in any case. But Din relished the meals he shared with Grogu in the little room together, it was a way for them to bond and a way for Din to ground himself in the middle of the day, amongst all the chaos that being on set usually brought.

After helping himself to the platter of fruit that had been left, as usual, in his room and ensuring Grogu ate something too – despite Din’s efforts to expand his son’s palette, Grogu only wanted his favourite animal crackers – Din sprawled out on the couch. With the comforting weight of his boy on his chest, making Din’s heart soar as he stared up at him with big brown eyes, Din finally felt at peace for the first time all day. His mind was no longer racing over his dilemma, he just appreciated the comfort that time with Grogu brought him.

Din momentarily forgot the inner turmoil that was being waged within him in a battle between his head and his heart. For one second, he did not feel completely torn over what to do next. He was so relaxed that the outline of Grogu’s face gradually became more distorted, as Din’s eyelids grew heavy…

The banging on the door an indeterminate amount of time later roused Din from the slumber that he had unintentionally drifted off into.

“Hey Mando! Can I come in?” A familiar voice sounded from the other side of the door. It was Peli Motto.

“Give me a second,” Din replied as he sat up, careful not to disturb Grogu, who he removed from his chest and gently placed on the couch.

Din reflexively reached for his helmet from the floor and secured it on his head. He padded across the room and unlocked the door, feeling instantly brighter when he saw the brown eyes and wild curls of his favourite co-star staring back at him from the hallway. Peli’s presence always cheered him up, even on his darkest days.

“Word on the street is that you aren’t having the best day. What’s up, Mando? Something wrong with Grogu?” Peli asked concernedly. Although Din suspected that she was as keen to get in on the latest gossip as she was genuinely concerned for him.

“No, Grogu is fine,” Din shook his head as he stepped back from the door to allow Peli inside the room.

“There he is!” Peli cooed as she walked towards the sofa and scooped Grogu up into her arms. Peli hugged him tightly and Grogu chirped happily, having awoken from his nap when he was moved, despite Din’s best efforts. “My favourite little guy, how are ya?” Peli cooed.

Grogu let out a delighted noise and Din felt his heart swell as he stood back, observing the two of them interact. He loved how close Peli was to his son. There were not many people Din trusted with his boy, but Peli was absolutely one of them. He was grateful for Peli’s presence in their lives, especially when adjusting to a brand new country and environment. Both Din and Grogu needed someone in their lives who was a comforting, uplifting presence and Peli filled that void perfectly.

Despite how kooky and extroverted Peli was, in contrast to the quiet, methodical way Din conducted his business: if it ever came to it, Din knew that he would trust Peli with his life and even with Grogu’s life. In his bones, Din knew that he trusted her entirely. If anything, Peli was the person on the cast that he was most likely to reveal his identity to. Unfortunately, Peli possessed the loudest mouth on this planet, so Din was realistic about the odds of that ever happening: they ranged from slim to none.

“Grogu is fine,” Din sighed. “It’s me…”

“Oh quit moping, Mando. You’ll rust!” Peli said jokingly.

Din smirked beneath his helmet at her directness. He was unaccustomed to having people like this in his life who would speak to him so directly, without filter. But it was something that he had found he had been missing out on, he thoroughly enjoyed the way Peli would banter with him. At first, he had found the curly-haired woman a tad overbearing. But now, as she sat here in the brown overalls of her costume on the couch in his room, he realised just how much he had come to care about the woman. Even if the reason for his distress was partially her fault, to begin with.

“No seriously, bud. What’s up? I hate seeing you like this.” Peli said, sympathetically. “And if you don’t get your act together, we’ll all be stuck on this set for much longer than I’d like. I have two cats that miss me very much in Los Angeles, thank you very much.”

In typical Peli fashion, she could not resist gently ribbing him after any genuine concern was shown. But Din didn’t mind it. Emotions were a mildly terrifying concept to the man who had spent so much of his life alone.

“It’s all your fault, really,” Din said lightly.

“My fault?! Wait… please don’t tell me you saw that video. It was ONE time, okay!” Peli lifted her hand defensively.

Din just shook his head, having no idea what she was talking about. Whatever it was, Din was fairly certain that he did not want to know.

“No, Peli… I didn’t see any videos…”

“Good, mister. You better keep it that way,” Peli said sternly as she jabbed a finger in Din’s direction. “Now, do you want to talk about it? I’m here for ya, Mando.”

“Well, it’s kind of a crazy story. It all began after that conversation we had about that convention that was coming up. I wanted to try and see what all the fuss was about and also give something back to the fans, I guess. Make a few people’s day, take some pictures…”

“That was you?!” Peli exclaimed, excitedly. “I knew it! What did you think of the con?”

“I hated it at first. It was horrendously busy. I probably would have left, but for an encounter I had. It opened my eyes up to how much people love Mando. It was… nice to feel their love and appreciation for the character.”

“I can’t believe you actually went…” Peli whispered, shaking her head in awe.

“Well, it was an incredibly reckless move in hindsight. Jim and Dale called me into their office to warn me against doing such a thing in future. The costume went viral and they had to make some fake social media profiles allegedly, to claim the costume…”

“That’s insane!” Peli squealed. “Oh yeah, it was everywhere online this week. I’m not surprised they had to do that, so many people were tweeting me, convinced it was the real Mando.”

Din cringed at her words, feeling terribly embarrassed once again at how much inconvenience his moment of recklessness had caused. He sat there for a few moments, trying to adjust to the information and take onboard how close he had come to having his cover blown.

“That’s not why you can’t do the stunts, though, is it?” Peli questioned and Din marvelled once again at how much she saw him, despite having never laid eyes upon his face.

“No, you’re right. It isn’t,” Din conceded. “While I was at the convention, I attended this panel. It was right at the back of the convention hall, but it stood out to me. It was called ‘The Man behind the Mandalorian: Exploring the Identity of the Galaxy’s Best Bounty Hunter,’ and it was hosted by an awful man. A man who was way too old to be wearing a backwards baseball cap, but I digress,” Din grumbled, still caught up on how ridiculous the guy had looked as he sat there, thinking he was the greatest man on earth. “Well, the panel was pretty much just praising the violence of the show and how good Mando is at fighting. Pretty surface-level stuff. There were some criticisms in there, but I could take it, you know. They were still mostly aimed at the show. But then… he opened the floor up to questions at the end and things began to get nasty. People were making all kinds of personal insults about me, about the character. Calling me a diva and saying that I must be a nightmare to work with if I won’t show my face to anyone.”

“Awww, Mando. That sounds awful, it must have been really hard for you,” Peli soothed. She reached out to pat Din’s arm beneath his pauldron. The contact made him jump at first, but he soon melted into the reassuring touch. “You are the furthest thing from a diva. I know I tease you a lot, but I genuinely think you’re a great guy. I really care about you and the kid. Even though I don’t know what you look like. I mean, you could look like an ingrown toenail under there. How would I know?!” Peli joked and Din found himself laughing at that, despite the inner turmoil that still waged inside him. “Look, I still treat you so kindly, aren’t I nice?” Peli added, even though they were both well-aware of how much she teased Din.

“Thanks, Peli,” Din said appreciatively, his voice full of the genuine mirth that her comments had provoked in him.

Giggling like this with Peli was a brief moment of welcome relief and Din’s shoulders dropped a little from the tense position they had been frozen in through most of the conversation. But Din knew the lighthearted moment was fleeting. He still had to explain to Peli the reason for his tormented state.

“It wasn’t the things that were said at the panel that caused all this though,” Din sighed, taking a deep breath as he braced himself to explain the cause of his current state of mind. “Don’t get me wrong, I was having a terrible, awful time. I really wanted to leave. I was about to. But then, this girl stood up. She… she marched right to the mic. I could tell she was a little bit nervous, but she spoke so passionately about me and the show and she stood up for me. Not just as Mando but also as… me. Even though she didn’t know anything about me, she still respected my right to privacy. It felt incredible… her words, they soothed my soul.”

“Oh! Mando has a crush!” Peli said in a teasing, sing-song voice.

Din just tilted his helmet to one side, conveying his disapproval. It was a part of Din that had found its way into the show. Mando was always conveying his disdain for others with a simple tilt of the head, but that mannerism was one hundred per cent a Din Djarin move.

“Sorry. Continue,” Peli said, waving her hand as if to encourage him.

“Thank you. Well, the way she made me feel, it was amazing, obviously,” Din admitted. He paused again, attempting to find the words to explain the rest of the story. “But that wasn’t the last time I saw her. After I left the panel, I went around the hall, taking photos with panels. I was about to leave but then the girl and her friend stopped me for a picture. She was so sweet and polite. I couldn’t stop thinking about her for days… I felt certain that that was the last time I would ever see her…. But then….”

“Woah, hold on there. Look, if you’re gonna tell me about some illegal shit, I gotta get my lawyer on speakerphone. I can’t be a party to any criminal acts, I’m on very thin ice as it is, Mando. Please don’t tell me that you stalked her on social media and then tracked her down to her house and used the zoom on your phone to track her every move until the….” Peli yammered, but Din stopped her.

“What?! No. Of course not, Peli,” Din said, cutting his eccentric, curly-haired friend off mid-ramble and doing his best to ignore the oddly specific fear that she had.

“Oh…” Peli exhaled. “Well, in that case, please continue…”

“A few days later, one of the team here, on orders of Jim and Dale, organised a visit to the British Museum for Grogu and me. Imagine my surprise when the same girl ends up being our tour guide. Except, I went there without my helmet. I was just… me. The man behind the suit. She met me as me, not as Mando. It’s a mess,” Din sighed, his shoulders slumping forward again. “I like her and I’d like to see her again and get to know her. I think I felt a genuine connection there, and she was so great with Grogu. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her, Peli. But how can I… pursue anything? When she’s such a big fan of the show. It would feel strange… like I was taking advantage somehow. Plus, I can’t stand lying. I’d be hiding myself, hiding who I am. A massive part of me.”

“Oh, look at you, Mando. You big softie,” Peli smiled, looking at him adoringly. She was a few years older than Din and he had long sensed that she felt somewhat maternalistic towards him. Peli was looking at him with all the pride a mother might show when their child shows an interest in someone, with a hint of surprise there, too. It seemed that she had never considered that he could be the romantic type.

“What do I do, Peli?” Din asked, desperately seeking the advice he needed to soothe his troubled soul.

“Well, firstly I don’t think you’re taking advantage of her. She doesn’t know you’re Mando. You might have started catching feelings for her when you saw her in that panel, but she doesn’t need to know that,” Peli advised. “I would say, you also don’t have to outright come out with the truth. You can just… skirt around it, I guess. She doesn’t have to know specifics about where you work, it’s just… keeping a secret or two, rather than lying.”

“What if she ever finds out that I’ve been keeping secrets?” Din asked, his voice full of apprehension at the idea.

“Well, hopefully you would have told her on your own terms long before that, once you felt comfortable enough and as though you could trust her. But, hopefully, if that happened… she would understand. Your life, I certainly don’t envy you Mando,” Peli admitted.

“There’s a lot to juggle,” Din confessed.

“I know, I can’t imagine the burden. You deserve nice things, Mando. You deserve a love story of your own. Just make sure she gets to know you for you. Not Mando, with no armour, just you… whoever you are beneath all that. Hell, I don’t even know!”

“Thanks, Peli,” Din smiled, feeling comforted by her words. For all of her eccentricity, Peli still had a heart of gold. “I’ve never really done this before, though. I mean… dated someone. I didn’t get her number after the tour but I’m sure I could get a message to her somehow. I was thinking about sending her a bunch of flowers, with a little note,” Din pondered. “Is that a thing people still do? She seems to be a bit younger than me, in her mid-twenties if I had to guess.”

“Mando! You really are the romantic type! I never would have guessed that from you!” Peli squealed. “She’s a very lucky gal, I’m sure that would be a very thoughtful gesture that would be appreciated by her. Go for it.”

“I will,” Din said, determinedly.

Peli lingered for a few more minutes, catching Din up on all of the gossip he had missed in craft services. Din didn’t particularly care for gossip, but somehow when it was Peli, it was endearing to listen to. Then the brown-overall wearing woman made her exit, mumbling about how she needed to head for a smoke before filming began again.

Din sat there for a few moments, smiling to himself in her wake. He knew that in a few minutes, Din would be summoned to set as Iggy would knock on his door ready to take care of Grogu. Din would have to face a room full of people who were at worst, annoyed and at best, concerned. He had to leave the room, projecting an air of strength and dependability that he was, as Mando. When he left the room, the transformation would be complete from doting father to feared, intergalactic bounty hunter.

Din could have no distractions now. He knew what he needed to do, the talk with Peli had given him clarity and purpose and, bizarrely, the animal that Grogu had been colouring in had given him an idea. So, Din picked up the phone in his trailer and dialled the extension that took him through to the offices of Fennec Shand.

The phone rang once.

“Good afternoon Mando, how can I help you?” Fennec asked.

“Hi, Fennec,” Din replied. “Can you please get me the phone number for the best florist in London?”

Next Chapter

Taglist:@toxic-seduction @survivingandenduring @readingiskeepingmegoing

#my fics #tbobw #din djarin fanfic #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin fanfiction #mando x reader #mando x you #the mandalorian fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

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quixoticall · 7 months

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This Could Get Ugly 6. Views from the Outside

Summary: It's 1983 and The Downsides need another lead singer and you just happen to need a band--it's a perfect match. The only issue? You have to pretend to be in a relationship with your bandmate, Steve Harrington, but you can't help but be drawn to the band's broody guitar player.

pairing: s.h. x fem!reader, e.m. x fem!reader, j.b. x n.w.,

warnings: Mention of French people, angst, fake relationships,

A/N: Hello! Once again, thank you to everyone who interacted with this in any way! I love to hear feedback and see that you're enjoying the work! Another thing: My goal with this story is that it's told over the span of 4 individual works, with "This Could Get Ugly" being the first one. What this means is that there's going to be a LOT of juicy drama to enjoy but I will be taking my time getting to it. It's been super important to me that I tell the story right and at my own pace so while it may seem like the romance is tilting to one guy over another--just know, that that's all part of the plan! My pet peeve when reading love triangle type of stuff is when you can immediately tell which love interest is the end game so my goal for this is to be as even as possible, offering romance for both Steve and Eddie (In my mind, this is less of a love triangle and more of a love different people at different points in time type of thing). Anyway, what a long note! Please enjoy the chapter!

wc: 4.6k

MASTERLIST🎸

Previous Chapter 🎹

Subrosa Article

***

JONATHAN: I never wanted to be famous, I just wanted to play music and make enough money to support my family. I could do all of that and more with The Downsides.

I felt like the luckiest guy in the world then. We were finally starting to see some stability as a band and even though things weren’t exactly as we expected, things were good. I mean we were making music we loved with people we liked—back when we all still liked each other.

***

October 1983—Los Angeles, California

As the studio had predicted, the band’s single was a total hit, as were you and Steve in the press. The gamble Starcourt was starting to pay off.

Everyone was more relieved than happy about that news.

What followed was a few grueling weeks of rerecording the band’s nearly completed album while also strategically traipsing arm-in-arm with Steve around every romantic spot in Hollywood trying to bait the paparazzi.

Things had finally slowed down a bit since the album was in post-production, but Starcourt still had you on a tight schedule. You had transitioned into rehearsing for the band’s upcoming tour. That’s how certain Startcourt was that the Downsides were going to be a success—you were rehearsing for a tour that hadn’t even been announced yet for an album that hadn’t even been released.

You try not to think about what it would mean if the band didn’t meet the label’s expectations. Instead, you focus on figuring out how to adapt to the band you’re now a part of.

The obvious lack of familiarity between all of you was not as pronounced when you were re-recording in the studio, now that you’re all rehearsing together, it is impossible to ignore. The original members of the band share a bond that keeps them incredibly in sync, oftentimes leaving you and Eddie struggling both on and off the stage. You’ve been working to adapt though, and you’ve made progress, sometimes you’re even close to feeling like the band has accepted you as one of their own. But then something will happen that will leave you feeling like an outsider once more.

***

The last thing a hungover you needs to see at seven in the morning is a Subrosa article questioning your moral character and calling you a man-eater. The universe—in the form of one Nancy Wheeler—has a different idea.

“Have you seen this?” the keyboardist asks, indignation coloring her tone, as she slings the offending publication across your lap.

You hadn’t seen it, in fact, but one look at the grainy picture of you and Steve and you can assume what the article says.

You sigh tiredly in response, “Honestly Nancy, you shouldn’t pay attention to this shit. I don’t know why you let it bother you so much.”

“It’s just so unfair that they’re singing Steve’s praises and are still dragging you through the mud, even though you’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Exactly, there’s no winning with them, not for me. So why don’t we just say fuck them and do whatever we want?” You find it in yourself to waggle your eyebrows playfully at her earning a giggle from the otherwise serious girl.

You catch Eddie watching your exchange from across the large warehouse that is serving as the band’s rehearsal space with a curious amount of interest.

The two of you have barely spoken since your row outside of Starcourt. It’s not like you’re missing out on much though, since Eddie barely interacts with the band beyond rehearsal which makes his apparent engagement with your conversation unusual. Eddie, realizing he’s been caught staring, opens his mouth to say something but is quickly interrupted by a very late Steve and Robin.

“Hey, have you seen the latest issue of Subrosa?” Steve asks, harried and out of breath.

You try not to think about the fact that this is the third time this week that the two of them have shown up together and late.

“Yes, we were just talking about it, which you would’ve known if the two of you were on time for once,” Nancy jabs back with no real heat, just the annoyance of an older sister chastising her siblings.

“Hey, don’t blame me, Robin wanted to—” he stops short as soon as his eyes land on you and coughs awkwardly.

“I wanted to stop by the post office,” Robin rushes to say. “It’s Bastille Day and I needed to send a card to my French pen pal, Celine in honor of the occasion.”

“Isn’t Bastille Day in July?” You ask Robin.

She flushes scarlet. “Right, exactly, that’s why this is so important, my card was already like three months late. You know how French people are about punctuality.”

She then exchanges a meaningful glance with Steve and Nancy who seem to be having their own sort of conversation consisting solely of glances and eyebrow movement.

“Fine, whatever,” Nancy exhales after a few terse moments of silent communication, “let’s just start please.”

She stands and the others follow suit. You, however, remain sat, trying to figure out what exactly had just happened.

Steve, sensing you hadn’t moved, turns to throw you an apologetic look over his shoulder before beaconing gently with a nod of his head. You sigh but join him, nonetheless.

This happens a lot.

***

JONATHAN: When the whole staged relationship thing first started, I don’t think any of us had any idea what that meant. I mean, sure, it started out as the gimmick that got us through the door but it soon became something bigger than that. Their relationship was synonymous with the band and it's success and I'm sure that resulted in a lot of pressure.

I think for the two of them, though, the most difficult part was trying to keep things professional, especially when other people began to get involved.

***

None of the personal dynamics mattered when you were all playing together.

What you loved most about your bandmates was that they cared about the music just as much as you did. That had become clear from the very first rehearsal and even now, nearly a month in, you’re still in awe watching them all perform alongside you.

Prim, soft-spoken Nancy turned into a wild thing on the keyboard, her whole body moving with the music, fingers flying over the keys like it was nothing. Ever the perfectionist, she would never miss a note, and on the off chance that she did, curse words you had never heard before streamed out of her mouth, causing your eyes to go wide every time.

Jonathan, too, became something else: full of bravado and fire, hair swinging wildly and even jumping around on stage. His playing had a smoothness to it, he knew when to show restraint and let someone else shine and when to bring it himself.

Argyle and Robin were the biggest transformations, though. Gone was goofy and easy-going Argyle the person and all that was left behind was the laser-focused drummer, who seemed to move on instinct to create a strong musical foundation for the rest of you. Robin, who normally was a bit erratic and all over the place, became the self-assured, quick-thinking driving force behind the band. It was like she knew exactly how the song needed to sound and what each person needed to bring to get there. She was the first to let anyone know there was something amiss and no one took it the wrong way because she was rarely wrong.

Steve and Eddie were exactly what you had expected, however, what you did not expect was how alike they would be. They both moved gracefully and with careless precision. Showmen in equal measures.

Once you had familiarized yourself with your bandmates, figuring out how you fit into the band’s onstage dynamic was easy.

Off-stage was a whole different story.

***

JONATHAN: I mean, yeah, I think it was natural that there was a bit of a divide in those early days between the ‘original’ band and our two new members. It’s not for lack of trying though, it’s just, well the five of us lived in a house together and had known each other for years, it was probably kinda intimidating trying to jump into that dynamic. I also got the feeling that the other two weren’t really used to having friends. They both seemed to have their guards up in their own way.

With her you could tell she was holding back, almost like she was afraid of doing the wrong thing and well, with Eddie… you know how he is.

I think it was that feeling of sort of being on the outside that first drew them together, honestly.

***

Your eyes scan over the small craft services area that makes up part of your rehearsal space. Most of the band starts at one table, chatting amiably over lunch. Before you can even take a step in their direction, though, your eyes zero in on Steve and Robin, whose heads are bent, close together, whispering to one another intimately and you falter.

As much as you enjoyed Robin and Steve individually, watching them interact with one another often stoked an aching loneliness in you that you struggled to put out and the more time you spent with them only made it worse. After six weeks, you were worn thin.

Deciding that you’d rather not foster any unearned feelings, you turn to the only other table where Eddie is sitting alone bent over a thick paperback.

Trying to play it as cool as you can, you reach inside your bag to pull out your own book, and casually sit down across from the long-haired boy.

He stares you down. You raise an eyebrow in response.

“Didn’t know you could read,” he says casually.

“Funny, I was just about to say the same thing about you,” you shoot back with no real bite.

He chuckles to himself, seemingly impressed before gesturing to your book.

“Didn’t peg you for a Baldwin type either,” Eddie says, eyes scanning the cover of your book.

You shrug, noncommittally, “I found a copy Beal Street sitting with a bunch of junk on my neighbor’s curb and I’ve been a fan since.”

He barks out a laugh so loud it catches everyone’s attention.

Conversation halts and you feel your bandmates’ curious gazes fall on you all at once.

“Forgive me, princess, but I have a hard time imagining you digging through other people's trash for books from what I know of you.”

“And what do you know about me, Eddie? I mean, other than the stuff Subrosa prints.”

His face falls in response.

The two of you spend the rest of your lunch in silence, pretending not to notice the way everyone else is staring.

***

JONATHAN: They ate lunch together every day after that, barely talking, reading their books. I don’t think they were friends or anything, but I did see them exchange books a few times.

It did stress Nancy out, I think, the divide. It made her think we weren’t doing enough to be “welcoming” to them. Argyle and I didn’t really care, and Robin was dealing with her on shit at the time.

***

ROBIN : Yeah, I was seeing this girl, and I was trying to keep it under wraps from well… everyone actually. Steve was a really great friend though; he would always give me rides to and from her place when I needed them.

***

JONATHAN: ...a nd Steve liked to pretend that he didn’t care but he definitely did.

ROBIN: Of course, Steve cared, are you kidding?

NANCY: We could tell it bothered him.

STEVE : Did I care that she was eating lunch with Munson and kept avoiding me outside of rehearsal? No! Of course not.

***

November 1983, Los Angeles, California

The Downsides’ debut album was released on November 6, 1983, to commercial and critical success.

People immediately took to the upbeat synth sound paired with the introspective and clever lyrics. On top of that, you and Steve were, quite literally the talk of the town.

There were entire articles in gossip magazines dedicated to parsing out details of your relationship from the song lyrics on the album and coming up with theories about what the lyrics were about.

And all of that just from a few pictures of you two holding hands. Starcourt was ecstatic, they had bottled magic.

As much as everyone wanted to celebrate, you weren’t out of the woods yet, there were still the press junkets.

A growing list of TV and radio appearances that the band was required to be at plagued Hopper who was tasked with making sure you were all present and willing at these appearances. And of course, that you didn’t make fools of yourselves or Starcourt.

The label had taken it upon itself to send everyone PR briefings—essentially a long list of things no one should say under any circumstances during interviews.

Normally, you would think a list like this was overkill but knowing some of your bandmates, it was definitely needed.

All the eyes (and the pressure) would be on you and Steve, though, everyone knew that. You two were the ‘It Couple’ everyone wanted to hear from, and you weren’t quite sure what you were going to say.

The pap photos were easy: it was just walking around or sometimes getting lunch, holding hands, and looking like you were enjoying each other’s company. Something that wasn’t difficult since conversation flowed easily between the two of you. At first, you would talk music—Steve was incredibly dedicated and knowledgeable, you quickly found out—but eventually, the two of you had branched into other topics. You learned about Steve’s life growing up in Indiana, about all his likes and dislikes, and everything about the band. He managed to pull the same information from you and you let him.

Even the physical stuff was easy, with time. In the beginning, it was an experiment of firsts. While you were pretty well-versed in the practice of feigned affection, you were used to the guy always making the first (fake) move. Most of the guys you had been "set up" with were the "act first, ask permission later" type. Steve was polite and considerate to a fault, and it took you two full dates to convince him that he didn't have to ask before holding your hand and an entire week more to work up to the kiss on the cheek. After those conversations though, touching Steve, in one way or another, had become second nature.

So much so, in fact, that it had begun to bleed into your everyday lives. It was not unusual during the time of your re-recording, to be at the studio and have Steve come up from behind you to rest his hand in the gentle dip of your waist only for you to lean back as you inhaled that scent that was uniquely him: smokey sandalwood and hair pomade.

Right around the time rehearsal started you realized that perhaps the two of you were becoming too comfortable with that type of affection, especially given how much time he spent with Robin, and you had begun to keep a subtle distance between the two of you whenever you weren’t on stage.

Steve while intelligent in his own right, had never struck you as the kind of person to pick up on subtleties, so when he brings up this distance you realize that either you severely underestimated his abilities, or you were not as subtle as you thought you’d been.

It’s a few days before the first stop of the Press Tour—An early morning slot with Wake Up, USA! —that has the two of you sitting on your couch when he brings it up. You had invited Steve over to practice answering any possible questions you may have to field together and make sure you’re on the same page.

As it turns out though, outside of music, Steve is not much for rehearsing.

“Can’t we just wing it?” Steve asks as he lies sprawled on your couch.

You huff in response, “No, we can’t just wing it. This is a big deal! This is our first time out as a couple, and we have to be believable.”

Steve scoffs at this and you raise an annoyed eyebrow in response.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he shrugs in response, “it’s just hard to act like a couple when you’ve been avoiding me for, like, the past month.”

He doesn’t sound accusatory or angry when he says this, just matter-of-fact.

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” you sputter out, weakly.

It’s his turn to raise an incredulous eyebrow at you.

“Really? Could’ve fooled me. Last time I checked you and Eddie weren’t the best of friends, but you’d rather eat lunch with him than the rest of us. You know, if you didn’t like us, you didn’t have to agree to be in the band, we would’ve understood,” he deflates as he says this last sentence and it crumples your heart just a bit.

“I like you guys,” you say quietly, nudging his leg with your knee as you do.

“Then, is it me?” He asks, voice small and eyes low.

“No, no, it’s not you, Steve,” you rush to say.

“It’s just, I’ve never really been any good at this,” you mumble, shy under his gaze.

“Good at what?” He urges gently.

“At being friends with people.”

You continue, words clunky and difficult to get out, “At being friends with someone I’m also pretending to date.

“I mean, with the rest of the guys Starcourt set me up with, I only had to tolerate them for a few weeks, at most. With us, well who knows right? Plus, I actually like you,” you wince at this uncharacteristic display of vulnerability from yourself, “I like all of you and I don’t want to ruffle any feathers or cross any boundaries and hurt anyone’s feelings.”

He chuckles at this, “Trust me, you won’t hurt my feelings by spending time with me.”

You shake your head, “It’s not you I’m worried about, Steve. There are other people.”

Steve’s brow furrows in confusion, “I’m not following.”

You are not sure what to say, now. You don’t want to call Steve and Robin out, it’s clear that they’ve been trying to keep what they have going on a secret, and you don’t want to call attention to that. You’re also afraid that if you mention him and Robin, you’ll eventually have to explain how when you see them together, your chest gets painfully tight. Pivot, you demand of yourself.

“What I mean to say is, it’s easier for me to keep everything professional when I have a little more space because I’m not really used to this friend thing. I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t like you or the band. I like you all a lot, actually and I guess I’m just worried about messing that up.”

You can feel yourself retract into yourself the more you speak and by the end, your knees are tucked under your chin. You can’t bring yourself to meet Steve’s gaze.

He doesn’t respond right away, but you feel the warmth of his palm spread over the expanse of your back.

“Listen, I think… if this is gonna work, we have to be on each other’s team and part of that is talking to one another, right? And letting each other know when we're having a hard time. I want to be on your team, will you let me?” His voice swells as he asks, and you are so aware of his warmth next to you.

“Yeah,” you nod, finally meeting his eyes, “ I want to be on your team too if you’ll let me?”

He nods enthusiastically, smiling so brightly you question if the sun has ever been as bright.

“Great, now can we please practice some of these questions?” You demand, playfully.

“Or, or, and hear me out, we could go get burgers," he offers back.

You end up doing both.

***

November 13, 1983, Sunset Studios, Los Angeles, California

Call time for Wake Up, USA! was insanely early and you don’t think you’ve ever seen an angrier Hopper than one that has to be dealing with Eddie Munson at 5 AM. Eddie is decidedly, not a morning person.

“Well, aren’t you a ray of sunshine today?” You deadpan to the disgruntled guitarist from your makeup chair next to his. You were not fairing much better: not only were you running on little sleep, but you were also wound tightly with nerves about your first live interview as a band and as a couple.

“Can it, Your Majesty, or we might have a case of regicide on our hands,” he warns with no real heat behind his words.

“Isn’t it a bit too early to be throwing big words like that around, Munson?” Steve asks, from his spot on your other side.

“Don’t even know what that means,” he mutters, mostly to you.

“It means the murder of a king or queen,” you respond automatically.

“Doesn’t have to be just one, either. You could always kill more than one monarch at a time,” Eddie raises his eyebrows at Steve as he says this, making his implications very obvious.

“Wow, look at us,” Steve exclaims, grinning, “already making veiled threats at each other. We’ve finally made it, honey.”

He says this last part exclusively to you punctuating it by reaching for your hand and giving it a squeeze and you laugh.

The lightness of the exchange distracts you from your nerves for a moment. And from the way Eddie’s eyes linger on your hand interlaced with Steve’s.

Your brief reprieve is interrupted by the soft thud of a heavy object landing in your lap.

“What’s this?” You hold up a beat-up paperback to the culprit.

Eddie shrugs, “The Two Towers, Dustin finally got it back to me, took his sweet time too, that little asshole.”

You nod. He had lent you the first Lord of the Rings book weeks ago, while you were still in rehearsal after you had shown up bookless one day and you had devoured the book. You had been needling him for the second one since, but he had lent it to the audio engineer’s son, a kid named Dustin who idolized him and Steve in equal measure.

“Thanks,” you say, surprise coloring your voice, thumbing through the pages, eyes hungrily scanning the pages.

***

EDDIE: I dunno, she seemed nervous. I thought if she had something to distract her, it might’ve helped.

***

You get through the first chapter of your new book before they pull you into wardrobe.

They outfit you in a light blue dress, with exaggerated sleeves and a belt around your middle to compliment Steve’s dark blue blazer and stripped t-shirt combo.

You feel your nerves mounting as you are helped into your heels and given your mic pack. Suddenly, everything that is riding on this is suffocating you from all ends—a visceral crushing pain that you can’t shake.

Steve appears at your side and the band had been escorted onto the soundstage your hand has been tightly wrapped around his like a vice the entire time.

“Can you, uh, loosen your grip a bit, please,” Steve asks, finally.

“Right, sorry,” you say, letting go of his hand completely and instead focusing your nervous energy on straightening his lapels.

After the third time you’ve readjusted his collar, Steve grabs both of your hands in his, and pulls you close, giving you no choice but to focus on his face.

“Hey,” he says in a hushed tone, just for you, “you don’t need to worry, okay? We’ve got this. I’m on your team, remember?”

You swallow thickly, and nod, before adding, “And I’m on yours, Harrington.”

“That’s my girl,” he says sealing the exchange with a kiss on the cheek.

***

JONATHAN: That first interview, on Wake Up, USA! was what really sold them. I mean, they couldn’t keep their eyes off of each other the entire time.

And then, when one of the hosts asked them how they met, Steve told this story about seeing her for the first time from across the restaurant during our first lunch together and how he was sure he had made a total fool of himself because he was so nervous to be around someone so beautiful, of course, Steve Harrington would say something like that. The audience swooned. Hell, I swooned a little bit.

And then they asked her about all the guys from her past, which was totally fucked up by the way, but she handled it great. She said she was grateful for all the mistakes she had made in the past because they had led her to The Downsides and to Steve.

Between that interview and our live performance, the audience was hooked.

***

“Good job, you two,” Hopper says gruffly, patting you and Steve on the shoulder as you're ushered off stage after your performance.

“Thanks,” you squeak out, all the tension slowly deflating from your body after hearing Hopper’s approval.

It was done, your first live appearance complete, and it hadn’t been a total train wreck.

Actually, thinking back, it had been pretty good. There was a good variety of questions; everyone had gotten to speak; and when it came to you and Steve, well, it seemed believable at least. And the band managed to preform the new single without a hitch, all of the kinks that had plagued you during the last few weeks of rehearsals ironed out.

Maybe you could pull this off after all.

***

By the time the band had wrapped up the week-long press junket, you were exhausted.

What had taken more of a toll than the hours of sitting in makeup chairs, too-tight shoes and repetitive questions was having to pretend with Steve.

You realize now that your problem was never the risk of not being convincing enough, but instead of being too convincing.

You had spent the entire week so physically attached to Steve, that it was beginning to feel like you were one single being. Like he was an appendage you couldn’t move without.

And every kiss on the cheek, every look, every squeeze of your hand, felt like a jumpstart to your heart.

Then there were actual interview parts. Steve was good with the press. He would draw audiences and hosts alike, in as easy as if he was winding up a thread. There was never a question that would catch him off guard and he always came off boyish and genuine in his responses. Like the time he was asked what his favorite thing about you was and he told the story of you showing up at the recording studio with cookies and having the guts to change Eddie’s lyrics in the same afternoon.

You knew better than to ask if he meant it.

The next day, Hopper called to let you know that your album was breaking all sorts of records, and the label was incredibly pleased. So much so that they were thinking of increasing the tour dates and they were even starting to plan for future projects—projects that they wanted you to write.

The news didn’t make you feel light with joy like you had once hoped it would, instead, it made you feel heavy like a sinking stone.

A few weeks later, when the band went their separate ways for the Christmas break, you all knew something big was coming, you just had no way of knowing what.

***

JONATHAN: Right after New Year, Hopper pulls the band into a meeting in his office. First thing he told us was that they were announcing a tour with twice as many dates as they had originally planned for, demand was that high. Then he said, “From this point on, everything is going to move really quickly, there’s no getting off the ride now.”

NEXT CHAPTER 🥁

Taglist: @rexorangecouny , @persophonekarter

#steve harrington x reader #eddie munson x reader #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #steve harrington #stranger things x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x you #stranger things imagine #jonathan byers

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neon-lights-and-glitter · 1 year

Text

Fight The Feeling Prologue- Part 6 Stressed out & More Surprises

Summary- Urban gets you to surprise Jack on his Creme De La Creme tour, when he realizes how much Jack misses you. When Urban calls you to ask if you could fly out, he realizes how much you also miss Jack when you open up to him.

Word Count- 2.3k

Requested by @heavyhitterheaux 💖

After you and Jack got back from Paris, Jack finished his tour rehearsals, and it wasn’t long until his tour started, and you had to go back to Los Angeles for work. With Jack being on tour and in a different city almost every night, you only got to see each other twice in the two months Jack had been on tour. Once because you happened to have a photoshoot in the same city, but your photoshoot was during the day and Jack’s show was at night, so you only got to see each other for a couple hours. The second time was because you managed to fly out when Jack had a day off, but both of those visits were very brief and towards the beginning of his tour.

It had been at least a month since you saw each other and while you were both struggling with it, Jack was really struggling. He didn’t want you to know though, he obviously hid it from everyone who didn’t know you were together. You two had told a couple of your close friends you were together, but it was still a secret to most people and you both intended on keeping it that way. Urban was the only one who truly knew how Jack felt.

Jack was stressed out and he missed you, he had been counting down the days until tour was over, but he still had almost a month left. Urban had never seen Jack like this before, and Urban was determined to make Jack feel better and he knew just how to do that. Urban called you when Jack was distracted and working, hoping you would answer.

“Hey, what’s up.” You said, setting your phone up as you answered Urban’s facetime. It was obvious you had been crying, but you tried to hide it as you quickly wiped your eyes.

“Hey, are you okay?” Urban asked, immediately concerned for you.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You lied, but the way your voice cracked gave you away.

“Were you crying?” Urban asked and you nodded slightly, hugging your knees to your chest.

“Please don’t –“ You said as your eyes started to water again. “Please don’t tell Jack, I’ll be okay.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Urban asked, not wanting to bring up why he called until he knew you were okay.

“I’m just fucking stressed out. I feel like I keep telling Claire I want a break, but she keeps scheduling stuff. I just want to see my boyfriend but every time I have enough days off in a row to fly out, she schedules something else. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but it just feels like a lot sometimes. I was supposed to have today and tomorrow off so I could fly out, but Claire scheduled a last-minute photoshoot, but they went with someone else right before I was supposed to leave so now, I don’t have work, and I can’t see Jack.” You said as you cried, wiping the tears from under your eyes.

“I feel stupid for crying but I just feel overwhelmed. I know Claire wants what’s best for me and she doesn’t know that I want to see Jack, but I just feel like sometimes she doesn’t care about what I want. I know I can say no if I want to, but I don’t want to say no after she’s already scheduled something. I also don’t want to tell Jack how I’m feeling because I don’t want him to worry about me. I don’t want to bring his mood down because he should be enjoying his tour so every time we talk I feel like I’m putting on an act. What is it? One more month until tour is over? I can make it one more month.” You said and Urban sighed.

“I’m sorry. You have every right to feel upset and you should tell Claire no when you don’t want to do something for whatever reason it is. I know you don’t want to tell Jack, but I think you should consider it, he cares about you, and he wants to know how you are feeling. Plus, he misses you too. Jack’s been grumpy because he misses you too, which means everyone else is also struggling.” Urban said, joking, trying to make you laugh. “Jack doesn’t want you to worry about him either, but that’s actually what I was calling you about.”

“Jack’s struggling too?” You asked and Urban nodded.

“Yeah, he misses you a lot. I wanted to see if you could fly out to surprise him. I’ll figure everything out, so no one finds out about you two. I think seeing each other will be good for both of you. Just tell Claire that you want to do a photoshoot with me or something. That way she thinks you’re still working, and it gives you an excuse to fly out.” Urban said and you thought for a second.

“Yeah, I’ll fly out. I think you’re right, I need to see Jack. I’ll feel a lot better after.” You agreed. “I miss you too, but it’s different.”

“I know, I miss you too though, flying you out is 75% for Jack, 25% for me.” Urban joked. “When can you fly out?” Urban asked.

“I’ll figure it out and let you know tonight. Thank you for letting me rant to you. I think I needed to get that out, I feel better already.” You told Urban.

“No problem.” Urban smiled at you. “I’m your friend and that’s what friends are for. I do think you should tell Jack how you feel. I know he hates being away from you too, but I think if you two talked to each other about it, it might help. I do get what you mean though about not wanting him to worry about you, but I know no matter what Jack’s worried about you.” Urban said and you sighed softly.

“I’ll tell him eventually. He should be focused on tour, not me. I’ll be fine.” You reassured Urban and he sighed but nodded.

A few days later, you managed to rearrange your schedule with a little bit of Urbans help, so you could fly out to see Jack. You flew in at night while Jack was still preforming since he had a show that night. You got your own hotel room like you had previous times, but you knew you would be staying in Jack’s.

You had been waiting in your room when Jack and Urban got back to the hotel. Jack immediately went up to his room, while Urban pretended to go to his own room but made his way to yours. Urban wanted to see you before Jack stole you for the time you were there.

Urban came up with the plan of waiting for Jack to facetime you and waiting for Jack to notice you were in the same hotel. You would have been okay with just going and knocking on the door, or simply telling him you were there, but you went along with Urban’s plan.

You greeted Urban and the two of you caught up for about 30 minutes before Jack called you, so Urban hid so he couldn’t be seen by the camera.

“Hey babe, how’d the show go?” You asked as you answered the phone.

“Hi baby, it went good. I miss you.” Jack said. “Where are you?” Jack asked, noticing the new room you were in, but not realizing it was practically identical to the one he was in.

“I’m in a hotel.” You said, glancing over at Urban, waving him over. “My friend wants to say hi.”

“Oh, Madison’s there?” Jack asked and you shook your head. “Zoey?” Jack asked and you giggled as you shook your head.

“Do you want to keep guessing or do you want me to show you?” You teased.

“Show me.” Jack said, and you turned the Camera to show Urban who was sitting on the chair in the room while you sat on the bed.

“Oh, hey Urb.” Jack said before realizing. “Wait. If that’s Urban, does that mean you’re here?” Jack asked, sitting up from how he was previously laying on the bed.

“Maybe.” You smiled, standing up from the bed and making your way to Jack’s room, Urban following behind you. Jack met you halfway in the hallway, instantly wrapping his arms around you, lifting you off the ground as you hugged him back.

“I missed you so fucking much.” Jack said, burying his face in your neck.

“I missed you too.” You said, Jack moving to kiss you.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” Jack said.

“You’re welcome.” Urban said, standing next to you and Jack.

“Thank you.” Jack said, smiling at Urban before putting his attention back on you.

“Uh, Y/N, can I have your key?” Urban asked as Jack placed you back on the ground.

“Yeah, why?” You asked, taking the key out of your pocket to hand it too Urban.

“Because my room is next to Jack’s, and you two haven’t seen each other in a month and I’d like to get some sleep.” Urban said, you blushed, and Jack laughed.

“Let me get my bag out of there then it’s yours.” You said, and within 10 minutes you were lying in bed with Jack. Jack was holding you close, almost as if he was in disbelief you were there and was afraid to let you go because you might disappear.

“I missed you so much.” Jack said again, playing with the ends of your hair.

“I missed you too.” You said. “Urban said you were grumpy without me.” Jack laughed softly.

“Well, I wouldn’t say grumpy. But I do feel better when you’re here.” Jack admitted.

“Well, Urban said you were grumpy.” You teased. “I feel better when I’m with you too.” You sighed softly. “I like the privacy of our relationship, but I wish it was easier sometimes you know?” You asked and Jack nodded. You had moved so you were leaning against the pillows and Jack was laying his head on your chest. You ran your fingers through his curls.

“I think we’re doing the right thing, but just because it’s the right thing doesn’t make it easy.” Jack said.

“I wish it could be.”

“Me too. All I want to be able to do is show you off, let everyone know your mine. One day I’ll be able to, because I’m never letting you go.”

“One day all of this will be worth it.” You said and Jack nodded in agreement, tilting his head up so you could lean down slightly and kiss him. “I think I might be able to fly out for the final show.” You told Jack. You hadn’t been sure if you could previously, but you took Urban’s advice and told Claire no to a photoshoot she wanted you to do so you could put your relationship first.

“Really?” Jack asked excitedly.

“Yeah, I might not be able to be there, or I’ll have to stay hidden, but I’ll have a longer break so we’ll at least be able to spend some more time together.”

“When do you leave this time?” Jack asked, a question he didn’t really want to know the answer to.

“I’m here tomorrow since you have the day off, but then I have to leave the next day.” You told Jack.

“Oh.” Jack said, pouting slightly.

“Let’s just focus on the fact that I’m here.”

“I know.” Jack sighed. “I just wish you could stay longer.”

“Me too.” You sighed softly.

“Once we do decide to go public with our relationship, I’m never going anywhere without you again.” Jack said and you giggled.

“I don’t think I’ll complain about that.” You said, looking down at Jack, seeing how his eyes were closed. “Tired?” You asked and Jack nodded.

“Yeah, kind of. Can I fall asleep here?” Jack asked.

“On my boobs?” You asked and Jack nodded.

“Yes, they are comfortable, and I haven’t seen them in a month.” Jack joked and you laughed softly, shaking your head gently.

“Now, we both know that’s a lie, but yes.”

“Okay fine, but it’s the first time I’ve seen them in person. I know your shirts still on, but I’ll be taking care of that tomorrow.” Jack said, his hand resting just underneath your shirt.

“Go to sleep before I change my mind.” You teased and Jack laughed, sitting up slightly to kiss you before laying his head back down on your chest.

“I love you. Thank you for surprising me tonight.” Jack said, glancing up at you.

“I love you too, you can thank Urban for making it happen, but I’m so glad I’m here.” You told him before you both said goodnight and fell asleep.

The next day you two focused on catching each other up on what you had been doing since the last time you saw each other. Jack told you about his tour and some random stories that he thought you would like while you told him about a few of the photoshoots you had done, even showing him some sneak peaks at the results of the photoshoots. Even though you and Jack had heard all of these stories over FaceTime, you both listened just as intently as if you hadn’t.

Even though Urban would have been able to sleep the first night you were there, you and Jack were too tired and just focusing on enjoying each other’s presence to do anything more than a lazy make out session when you first were alone, the second night he wouldn’t have gotten much sleep.

Knowing this was most likely the only time you would see each other until the end of Jack’s tour made it hard to say goodbye when you both had to leave, but you two spent as much time together as possible. Unlike Urban’s thought when you first came to surprise Jack, Jack didn’t completely steal your attention all weekend, so you got to spend more time with Urban too, but you never left each other’s side.

Both of you felt a lot better after seeing each other and Urban was glad that he could help both of his friends.

Your relationship had its downsides, trying to keep it private was one of them, but ultimately you loved each other enough to continue to make it work, like you said to Jack, one day everything would be worth it. One day you would let the world know about your relationship and not have to keep secrets anymore. You just didn’t know how you could be so right about something, but so wrong at the same time.

Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree

#jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader

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caralara · 2 years

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LT2 Faith In The Future Promo x Babygate

I’ve decided to make a post inspired by this lovely anon to keep track of all the babygate mentions / pushes during LT2 promo season in media, including the ones where he does not mention Freddie - to see just how often and in which context he’s brought up!

21 July 2022

TODAY Australia: no Freddie mention

Sunrise Australia: 0:20″ seconds of a 2:53″ segment about “being a dad is Louis’ biggest achievement,” him talking about tour life and coming “home to Freddie and spend time with him” while shaking his head and struggling to get the name Freddie out, illustrated by 3 photos (infamous b&w photo, one of Freddie now (carbon copy) one of Louis “teaching” Freddie guitar, all highly recognisable) (wearing a polo he most likely purchased on the endclothing website)

The Project: no Freddie mention Harry university course mention

25 July 2022

Will & Woody Podcast: no Freddie mention

Smallzy’s Surgery: no Freddie mention

Fifi, Fev and Nick on The Fox 1019: no Freddie mention

31 August 2022

Golden Discs: no Freddie mention

01 September 2022

Euphoria Zine: no Freddie mention, emphasis on happy, hopeful in spite of hardship (Harry mention)

Official Charts Interview: no Freddie mention

Los40 Spain: no Freddie mention

02 September 2022

Secret Celebrity: no Freddie mention

Billboard: no Freddie mention

La Stampa: no Freddie mention

Cadena100 Spain: no Freddie mention

06 September 2022

Radio Deejay Italia: Louis brings up Freddie unprompted, saying he’s been on tour since February and had little gaps to go home to the UK or to LA where his son lives. He brings him up right after the radio hosts spent a good amount of time talking about the Beatles (which Louis has used to signal about babygate before. He’s also in a blue green outfit that day).

altpress: two paragraphs about Freddie, first mentioning him in connection to tragedies that seem to not give Louis a break ever, whenever things go his way something happens, his mum died of leukemia just a year “after his son Freddie Reign was born,” and made Louis feel like he was just treading water, life treating him unfairly. The second paragraph is all about Louis finding clarity during lockdown where he could “spend some quality time with his son, journeying between the U.K. and Los Angeles where he lives with his mother. There, he could put his “dad hat” on and have a purpose.” - painting a picture of a Louis split orderly in the middle between a devoted dad we don’t get to see and the “partyboy slob” Louis we know and love. There’s an emphasis of Louis not wanting pity, and focusing on better things, the hope and optimism for a good future combined in the title of his new record. Right after the first Freddie mention, it is described what Louis is wearing: “ Sporting a black-and-white colorblock hoodie” - chequers? Also why mention lol. (He’s again wearing Palace and Fred Perry Laurels for the cover shoot.)

07 September 2022

LADBible Snack Wars: Louis brings up Freddie unprompted, saying he’s making Mac’n’Cheese for his “little lad Freddie” a lot Louis we all know you’re an absolute disaster in the kitchen you’d ruin even macncheese (he is wearing a Palace jacket)

BBC The One: no Freddie mention

Today FM Ireland: no Freddie mention

Q Music Belgium: no Freddie mention

08 September 2022

Lorraine Kelly: 1:04″ of a 6:30″ segment spent talking about Freddie, Lorraine brings up Freddie’s age first, asks if he understands what a big deal his daddy is, Louis talks about Freddie being at LTWTLA1 and that he held up a self made banner (did he though?), was the “most emotional gig he’s done,” Lorraine says Louis splits his time between America and UK - of course - and Louis responds he hasn’t spent a lot of time at “home” (with airquotes) at all. The interview started off with talking about how the new album is a lot more positive, optimistic and hopeful in spite of hardship. (He’s wearing a shirt described by the label as the “perfect partner in crime”) [Lorraine is a format that talks a lot about private life / families / gossip about celebs so very obvious they would ask about the child]

RTL Boulevard Netherlands: 0:37″ of a 2:17″ segment are about Freddie, including 4 photos (recognisable ones, them together, and one how Freddie looks like Louis) and Louis talking about how he takes him to parks and surfing although he’s not a good surfer himself so he doesn’t take him surfing yet because he has to take surf lessons before he can be the surf boss and hero for Freddie (???). (He’s wearing a white and black striped Palace polo shirt) [Again, this is a dutch “celeb life” programme, focused on private life and gossip.]

NME Interview: no Freddie mention

LTHQ posts the LADBible Snack Wars bit with the Freddie mention

09 September 2022

Dork: no Freddie mention

13 September 2022

Formula 1: no Freddie mention (but F1? come on, also Kimi Räikkönen’s car number is 7)

The Late Late Show: no Freddie mention

15 September 2022

Good Morning America: no Freddie mention (host looked slightly caught off guard and stumbling over some words when they showed footage of The GMA Buzzing Interview)

16 September 2022

The Steve Duran Show: Louis brings up Freddie unprompted while talking about jetting between London & LA where his son lives, emphasising that he’s spending a lot of time in LA

94.3 Radio One India: no Freddie mention

106.1 BLI: no Freddie mention

17 September 2022

BBC: “Even becoming a father to his first son, Freddie, in 2014 didn't force him into adulthood. "There was always an element of, when I was with Freddie, I'd put my adult dad hat on. And then, when I was doing my work or when I was with my mates, I'd be in a kind of limbo, really.” 2014? lol here again the talking points: split Louis, the one we see, the super devoted dad we don’t see, fans mean everything, he’s hopeful, had tragedies

19 September 2022 (Philadelphia)

98.5 KRZ Radio: no Freddie mention (a question about OTB being a fanmade queer anthem was edited out when posted on the website)

Radio Hot 97.1: no Freddie mention (he did talk about reading between the lines)

Morning Mashup SiriusXM: 1:22” min of a 8:48” segment talking about being a parent, interviewer asked if being a parent changed his way of writing, Louis says subconsciously, the two things are separate for him. Now he’s saying all the things he never wanted to say as a parent when he was a child. Mentioned the LA show, was the most emotional show, brought his own banner and is usually in bed by 7 (lol). On the video on demand website of the radio “On Being A Parent” is indicated as a chapter of the video.

96.5 TDY Q&A and Listening Party : no Freddie mention

20 September 2022 (Nashville)

1075 The River Cocktail party: no Freddie mention

Hot 106.7: no Freddie mention says there’s drama around the corner for Louis, always has to be one step ahead of the drama, wearing chequers

B104: no Freddie mention

21 September 2021 (Atlanta)

Power 96.1: no Freddie mention says his fans are great at solving puzzles

Q99.7: no Freddie mention

Hits 96 Lunch with Louis (Tennessee): no Freddie mention

22 September 2022 (Phoenix)

101.5 Live Interview and M&G: cancelled (fans were not informed whether they won or not, but had to show up in person to find out. There they were told Louis cancelled because he’s sick and he “was on his way straight to California” for other promo.

23 September 2022 (California)

103.7 KISS-FM: no Freddie mention says he’s tired, it is what it is, wearing Lacoste blue green polo

997 Now (CA): no Freddie mention

94.9 WiLD (San Francisco): @stephron reported back this: “Sooo there was a fan question asking if he was a good cook and he replied that he’s not and all he can make for his son is cheesy pasta…so a reiteration of what he said on LADbible. Someone asked him before that what he would be if he wasn’t a singer and he said a teacher because he’s good with kids. He hesitated noticably when he went to elaborate and tbh I thought he was going to mention F but he said it was because he had so many siblings.” X

24 September 2022 (Portland)

Live 95.5: no Freddie mention

25 September 2022

BBC Radio1: no Freddie mention

27 September 2022

Zach Sang: very interesting right off the bat. First Freddie mention comes with Zach mentioning he is Louis’ Future when talking about what Future means to Louis. Louis is caught off guard but then quickly says “yeah, yeah the kid is the future!” then, later on, when Zach mentions he saw Louis in LA, Louis goes into asking him which night to not wait for him to answer just to say “my son was there” and to talk about this beautiful emotional moment he had with Freddie, locking eyes with him (backpedalling bc how do you do that at the YouTube theater lol it’s way too far and dark). He’s eloquent and goes into detail about how Freddie goes to bed at 7 usually. Then later on, Zach again brings up Freddie, asking if he’s part in shaping his idea of success, and again Louis is caught off guard and stumbles over his words, stuttering and rambling. It seems clear he’s confident in talking about him when he’s initiating but swimming when someone else brings it up non-planned. He also doesn’t see him in his future, keeps forgetting about him there, or with the song writing. Extremely interesting as well is that the Freddie bit is the first (only?) snippet posted to Zach‘s TikTok. He also seems to be awfully concerned about his arse tattoo being seen by new people in situations where he’s about to get frisky with them: two questions - what about eleanormegirlfriend? And in which hetero context is his arse the first thing you see when taking his clothes off for sex?

Hits Radio UK - My Teenage Self: no Freddie mention

12 October 2022

The Night Show With Mitch Churi Australia: 0:40″ min of a 8:47″ segment talked about Freddie: Interviewer brought him up saying “yeah and you’re a dad now” hasn’t he been a dad for almost 7 years?? in response to gaining new perspective on everything in Bigger Than Me, then stumbling about “having my own ... child.”

14 October 2022

Kompas Indonesia: no Freddie mention

15 October 2022

Soccer AM: no Freddie mention

Ask Me Anything Chat: no Freddie mention

17 October 2022

Virgin Radio Paris: no Freddie mention

NRJ Paris: short Freddie mention squeezed in at the end, when talking about living between LA and London

Music Week: no Freddie mention

18 October 2022

JAM FM Germany: no Freddie mention

Late Night Berlin: no Freddie mention

Listening Party RTL / JAMFM Berlin: Louis mentions fatherhood to be his biggest achievement in his private life - wearing a „Palace“ jacket (Reign, Queen=Freddie)

19 October 2022

Bild Germany: tbd

20 October 2022

La Resistencia: no Freddie mention

24 October 2022

WR Germany: no Freddie mention

25 October 2022

GQ Spain: Louis mentions Freddie and becoming a dad as one of the changes he’s gone through which inspired Bigger Than Me

31 October 2022

Los40 Spain: The headline is about Freddie hearing the album first. Louis says Freddie is the first one to hear a few songs off Faith In The Future after Olli (loli 5ever) and that he would probably like Out Of My System most just like how he liked Kill My Mind best off Walls.

2 November

The UK Times: big emphasis on fatherhood - Freddie mentioned in the subheader: „The former One Direction star on going it alone, fatherhood and his love of Bargain Hunt“ and the summary: „He has a son, Freddie, six, from a previous relationship with the stylist Briana Jungwirth, and lives in north London.“

05 November 2022

Corriere Della Sera Italy: no Freddie mention

07 November 2022

NRJ Austria: no Freddie mention

Copy Paste Articles: Louis Tomlinson finds parenting to be challenging. About 100+ copy paste articles flooded Louis' Google News results right as he announced ONO shows. They all consist of mashed up quotes by Louis about Freddie from previous interviews. The last time this happened was with the "carbon copy" narrative, articles flooding like this right before boobgate was kicked off

08 November 2022

Focus Online Germany: no Freddie mention

09 November 2022

Official Charts: no Freddie mention

The Telegraph: Freddie gets mentioned right after they talk about Louis taking responsibility for his family, and in the next breath says “I don’t want people to feel fucking sorry for me” again setting up the tone for how he is to be dealt with during the scandal by connecting that wish with Freddie.

10 November

Rolling Stones Twitch Live: interviewer brings up Freddie seemingly out of nowhere and Louis rattles off his Freddie talking points: didn't realise Louis was a celebrity, immediately goes to talking about his sisters instead, Freddie went to the LA show and made Louis emotional with a banner, listened to his singles and liked them

Swiss 20min: no Freddie mention

11 November 2022

Metro UK: no Freddie mention

102.7 KIIS FM: 0:20" of 37:05" interview: mentions Freddie to be the reason to make LTWTLA the best performance of his life, made him emotional, seeing him

KKBOX Western: tbd

Hitz Malaysia: no Freddie mention

ET Canada: 1:50" segment of a 8:52" interview about Freddie. 5 seconds into the interview, interviewer says Louis is a dad, Louis says he's changed to become more mature. Later, interviewer brings up LTWTLA, says he was looking for him, then spotted him, he had the banner, it made him emotional. Dad life and musician life separated, he's a strict dad (that's new!)

ZDF Germany Leute Heute: 0:28“ of a 2:26“ Segment about Freddie. Needs to put the dad hat on even though he doesn't feel fully grown up yet.

Z100 New York: 1"20 segment of 14"03 interview about him maturing through fatherhood, says Freddie got into music in the past 18 months 👀 also makes a 180° turn and says he keeps his private life private (says he's not telling us what Chicago is about)

SiriusXM Morning Mashup: 0:30" segment of a 12"10 interview. Louis brings up Freddie himself, when saying he's two different people on tour and when a dad, waking up early. Adding more details! (well done on the research! We need those details to make it more believable!)

LADBible: no Freddie mention

Fallon Tonight: no Freddie mention

Due to link limit all mentions and links from 12 November 2022 on will be archived in a reblog.

I will edit to add as we go through this promo season, but as of now, we have 29 / 91 Freddie mentions during interviews for LT2 Faith in the Future promo, all of them seem out of place if you pay close attention (why would you advertise your album with your six year old son after supposedly crying for privacy before?), and on almost every single occasion he signals through clothing / topics. I believe it wasn’t pre-discussed that the interviewer would bring up Freddie, as Louis got caught pretty off guard and wasn’t signalling with his clothes. The interviewer did say he watched a lot of recent videos and clips of him before the interview, so I guess he saw that big fat Freddie segment from Australian morning TV as his preparation for the interview.

Depending on the format, they either have predetermined talking points and provided images and visuals, like for Lorraine and RTL, where the programme focuses more on celeb gossip, or he finds ways to inject a Freddie mention into the segment himself (ladbible, radio deejay,...). LTHQ posting that snippet of the ladbible segment though is extremely telling. They are using narration points they know fans will recognise and are backed up by fan videos etc, like the LTWTLA1 show. It’s also interesting that Louis rarely mentions Freddie when fans are present like in Q&As and M&Gs.

There are a few talking points that crystallize this promo run:

my fans are the best and I’m eternally grateful for and to them (fan service)

Faith in the Future was a phrase he chose before the pandemic and is his, that he felt a connection to it, it spoke to him, a magnetism, and he likes to share it to mean something hopeful but is adamant about it being around since about 6 months before lockdown (Future Is Now = Faith In The Future = The End Plan developed before lockdown started?)

Silver Tongues is his favourite song

Chicago is half his own experiences, half theoretical

Freddie:

goes to bed at 7 (!)

Louis makes him Mac’n’cheese

LTWTLA Moment was emotional, referencing moments the fandom knows (Christmas, Park: right after interview park photos get spread in the fandom)

Dad hat VS Musician hat: keeps professional life & private life apart, fans don’t really get to see him being the devoted dad he is

travels a lot between London & LA bc of Freddie

Freddie loves his music

Louis compares how Freddie sees his fame to his sisters' reactions

They are also setting the tone for how to handle the scandal: they are putting a lot of emphasis on how positive and hopeful Louis is now, after achieving some sort of clarity during lockdown, that in the face of tragedies he just wants to focus on the positive and move on, and definitely wants NO pity - and that he seems to never get a break, when things are finally going his way, tragedies hit. Incredible set up for those couple of months between this FitF promo cycle ending early 2023 and before the tour starts - and fans will already have bought the tickets and have time to calm down. It will also allow for him to withdraw, regroup, and then carry on like he’s been saying: he will look gracious, strong and congruent to his words. No one will take it badly that he keeps on enjoying his life and success after the scandal breaks after a period of privacy. It is genius and I am so excited for this to unravel. They are really, really good.

To the end, my friends. Faith in the Future - and The Future Is Now!

#babygate #bbg #lt2 promo #fitf promo #faith in the future #the future is now #louis tomlinson #freddie #freddie tomlinson #lt2 #if you see anything missing #or mistakes #kindly let me know so i can edit and fix!!

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gardigansandkarma · 7 months

Text

Travis Kelce Opens Up About Taylor Swift and What Comes Next

Wall Street Journal - Travis Kelce full article under the cut

A few months ago, he was merely football famous. Now Travis Kelce is ready to tell his story. ‘I’ve never dated anyone with that kind of aura about them.’

By J.R. Moehringer

WHEN TRAVIS KELCE was a young man, his college football coach pulled him aside one day and told him the secret of life: Everybody you meet in this world is either a fountain or a drain.

“I need fountains,” the coach growled at Kelce. “I don’t need f—ing drains. Travis, you’re f—ing draaaining me!”

The advice left a deep impression. (“Changed his life,” says one of Kelce’s closest friends.) Yes, Kelce thought—you’re either a giver of the basic wellsprings of life or a thirsty taker. He vowed to be the former. In a world of gutters, be a geyser.

You think about that story as Kelce drives you around his beloved Kansas City, home of his world-champion Chiefs, for whom he’s the star tight end and arguably the second-most popular player, after his best friend, quarterback Patrick Mahomes. You think about that story on a gorgeous autumn afternoon as Kelce gives you a personal tour of his decadelong history in this city, his singular journey from clueless rook to legend. (“I used to take this scenic route [to the stadium]—there’s just something about seeing the city you’re about to go represent….”)

A different sort of celebrity might be more guarded, might even chirp those big Rolls tires and speed away before someone throws their body across the luminous silver bonnet, but Kelce’s default emotion is this—exuberant extroversion. He likes people. Loves people. Never mind deciding not to be a drain. If people gush at him, he can’t help it, he gushes back.

Noting all this, you think how fame itself might be a kind of fountain. Some people moan about getting wet, others frolic like kids around a hydrant. You even wonder if this fountain-drain paradigm might be the skeleton key to Kelce, the Rosetta Stone for which half of America seems to be hunting right now.

Kelce was famous for several years, thanks to his Hall of Fame résumé, his symbiotic relationship with Mahomes, but that was just football famous. This year, after winning the Super Bowl, after hosting Saturday Night Live, after starring in all the commercials, Kelce became inescapable. And that was before—you know.

People have begun to ask in all earnestness why they can’t turn on their TV anymore without seeing Kelce’s sculpted mug. They wonder, not with snark, but in all sincerity: Who the frick is this guy? And where did he come from?

You have a TV. You wonder too. So you decide to join the search for answers. One weekend, in the thick of football season, you get on a plane to Kansas City.

BUT FIRST. Back up. Like that knucklehead who threw it into reverse, go back. Before you can take the Travis Michael Kelce Guided Tour, you need to watch him cry.

Kelce tries to play it off. He launches a sentence, stops. He launches another, again aborts. He paws his eyes with his giant hands and looks to be on the verge of losing it, because if Kelce loves people, what he really loves is his people.

This whole display takes place on a Monday afternoon at a Kansas City steakhouse, where you and Kelce are having an early dinner. Like, retirement-community early. He’s in recovery mode, healing from dozens of violent collisions sustained during the previous day’s win over division rival Los Angeles, and food is medicine. He can intuit when he’s hit the caloric sweet spot necessary to mend or maintain his 6-foot-5, 260-pound frame (roughly 4,000), and he’s not there yet. So he orders the dry-aged filet rubbed with coffee, Caesar salad (hold the anchovies), a side of “triple-cooked” fries and a glass of water.

After a long pause, and several Lamaze breaths, Kelce collects himself, apologizes. Can’t help it, he says; those folks who always have his back, who call him by the ancient secret nicknames (Big Yeti, El Travedor, Killatrav, Michael, etc.)—they’re everything. He doesn’t think of them as his entourage; he thinks of them as family, an extension of “Mama Kelce” and “Poppa Kelce” and older brother Jason, the starting center for the Philadelphia Eagles.

Patrick Bacon, a friend since first grade, says Kelce’s go-to method of winding down after a hard game or long day is to sit with this “core group” around his kitchen island and chop it up. Talk, that’s what nourishes Kelce, not videogames, not bottle service at some club.

“He loves to talk about the old days,” Bacon says. But it has to be with people from the old days. People who know that Kelce will sometimes dismiss a bad or subpar thing as “buns.” People who know that one of Kelce’s favorite desserts is French toast dripping with whipped cream and syrup. People who know that, growing up, he played every sport in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, and also know the difference between Cleveland Heights and Cleveland proper. You want to break into the Kelce core group? You better have a phone number that starts with 216.

And yet, you wonder how well his friends really know him, how well he lets anyone know him, because to a person they all say Trav lives in the moment, Trav never thinks about tomorrow, Trav never worries about retirement, despite recently turning 34, making him a Gollum in the NFL, whereas Kelce confesses that he thinks about it nonstop, “more than anyone could ever imagine.” In the same spirit, perhaps, he keeps his own counsel about his round-the-clock physical anguish. “That’s the only thing I’ve never really been open about,” he says, “the discomfort. The pain. The lingering injuries—the 10 surgeries I’ve had that I still feel every single surgery to this day.”

Kansas City’s longtime tight ends coach, Tom Melvin, says Kelce undersells the pain because the alternative is not playing, and the man will not miss games. “He has phenomenal pain tolerance. He’s played through things that other athletes I’ve coached through the years have not been able to push through. Mentally tough—way off the charts.”

Kelce’s trainer and physical therapist, Alex Skacel, says there’s not a single day, in season, when Kelce stretches out on the training table and doesn’t have some gruesome bruise. What few realize, however, is the insane number of scratches. Guys claw each other out there, Skacel says; it can leave Kelce’s epidermis striated with crimson. To bounce back after such abuse requires more than basic therapy. Kelce and Skacel use a battery of esoteric treatments, from cupping to dry needling to occlusion therapy: essentially tying off a limb with a tourniquet while Kelce works out. Kelce also adheres to a pregame regimen of anti-inflammatories, which he doesn’t like to discuss because they “have a history of affecting people’s insides.”

“There were definitely people she knew that knew who I was, in her corner [who said], ‘Yo! Did you know he was coming?'” Kelce says about how he initially found his way into Taylor Swift’s orbit. “I had someone playing Cupid.” Loewe coat, $4,990, Loewe.com.

IF KELCE BROODS on life without football, one reason is that he had an excruciating sneak preview. A redshirt sophomore at Cincinnati, he got booted off the team for smoking pot. In a blink, he lost everything—his purpose, his meaning. “It was like my life was over.”

He also lost his scholarship. He had to get a job. The best one he could find was at a telemarketing firm, doing healthcare surveys. “Eye-opening,” he says, bowing his head.

Cold-calling people in southern Ohio, northern Kentucky, eastern Indiana, asking what they thought of Obamacare, taught him a lot. (“Uh, sir, I ran out of the comment box, I can’t write anymore, we gotta kind of keep this moving.”) Above all it taught him that he didn’t want to ever do that again.

He probably won’t have to. He’s got options. Sometimes he sees himself in a broadcasting booth. Sometimes his manager talks about action flicks. (Maybe a Marvel movie? Kelce’s already built like Wolverine.) You also get the sense that Kelce toys with notions of doing some form of comedy. He haunts clubs, lives for open-mic nights, and he’s gotten to be friendly with several rising stand-ups.

At the moment, of course, the only thing millions of people want to know about Kelce’s future is whether or not it will include Taylor Swift. And the second thing they’re dying to know is how he and she got together in the first place.

Did he sit in a dark room and say Jumanji three times? He laughs. “I don’t know if I want to get into all of it,” he says, and then he gets into it, because fountain.

It all started when he tried to meet Swift at her Arrowhead concert in July and got blocked, presumably by security. He then recounted the experience in a charming way on the podcast he does with Jason. Soon after, he says, he received an unbidden assist from inside Team Swift.

“There were definitely people she knew that knew who I was, in her corner [who said]: Yo! Did you know he was coming? I had somebody playing Cupid.” He wasn’t aware at the time, however; the revelation only came later, after he looked down at his phone and got the shock of a lifetime. “She told me exactly what was going on and how I got lucky enough to get her to reach out.”

He lets slip that some of his early helpers were part of the Swift family tree. “She’ll probably hate me for saying this, but…when she came to Arrowhead, they gave her the big locker room as a dressing room, and her little cousins were taking pictures…in front of my locker.”

Understandably, he’s not handing out details about the first date, though he will say that he managed to not be nervous. “When I met her in New York, we had already kind of been talking, so I knew we could have a nice dinner and, like, a conversation, and what goes from there will go from there.”

If anyone was nervous, he adds, it was his core group. “Everybody around me telling me: Don’t f— this up! And me sitting here saying: Yeah—got it.”

Likewise, his mother. Donna Kelce still berates herself for how she handled a question about Taylor on the Today show. Trying not to sound too enthusiastic, she came off underwhelmed. Kelce, not wanting his mom to feel bad, immediately phoned her and assured her that she did a super job—adding that her green eyeglasses looked great.

These days, however, with the relationship progressing, Donna feels more at liberty. “I can tell you this,” she says, beaming. “He’s happier than I’ve seen him in a long time…. God bless him, he shot for the stars!”

Kelce seems freer, too. He doesn’t need to be asked about Taylor; he mentions her unreservedly, lavishes praise on her, calls her “hilarious,” “a genius,” notes that they share compatible worldviews, especially when it comes to family and work. “Everybody knows I’m a family guy,” he says. “Her team is her family. Her family does a lot of stuff in terms of the tour, the marketing, being around, so I think she has a lot of those values as well, which is right up my alley.”

One of Kelce’s friends describes a sweet, magical moment, a late-night gathering around Kelce’s firepit. Kelce and Swift looked like two “peas in a pod,” the friend says, and at one point they even burst into a memorable duet of—“Teenage Dirtbag”?

This must be fake

My lips start to shake

How does she know who I am?

Kelce squints into the distance: He’s not sure they were singing…Wheatus. But he allows that his memory might be compromised.

LONG BEFORE MEETING SWIFT, Kelce was just another Swiftie. In some ways he still is. He explains the concept of her concert—“She does it in eras”—as if you live in a yurt in Outer Mongolia. Then he eagerly informs you that the night he attended, he was counting the minutes until she got to 1989. (Both he and Swift were born in 1989.) “ ‘Blank Space’ was one I wanted to hear live for sure. I could make a bad guy good for the weekend. That’s a helluva line!”

More often than not, he says, it was a Swiftian beat, a melody that captivated him. (“She writes catchy jingles.”) But lately he’s all about those lyrics; he’s scrutinized the breakup stuff. What a miracle, he says, the way Swift can turn life into poetry. “I’ve never been a man of words. Being around her, seeing how smart Taylor is, has been f—ing mind-blowing. I’m learning every day.”

Something he might need to learn from Swift: how to handle the attention. Kelce lives in a quiet neighborhood north of downtown—leafy trees, trim lawns, no gates. There’s now a clutch of desperate-looking dudes with cameras stationed on his sidewalk 24/7. He’s followed everywhere, drones buzzing overhead—it’s stressful, more than he lets on, according to one confidante.

“Obviously I’ve never dated anyone with that kind of aura about them…. I’ve never dealt with it,” Kelce says. “But at the same time, I’m not running away from any of it…. The scrutiny she gets, how much she has a magnifying glass on her, every single day, paparazzi outside her house, outside every restaurant she goes to, after every flight she gets off, and she’s just living, enjoying life. When she acts like that I better not be the one acting all strange.”

Asked if he has anything to teach Swift, he looks shy. He can’t think of anything offhand.

Football?

Sure, he says, sounding unsure.

Of course, the thing she probably wants to learn about most is him. While talking to Kelce you realize all at once that the most avid participant in the national scavenger hunt for clues about his character is likely Swift herself. To that end, Donna says that anyone wishing to understand her younger son would do well to start with her older. Travis “could never quite catch up” to Jason, she says. “He was always just second, just searching to be the best, and never quite getting there.” (The only way in which the two brothers were full equals was appetite. As boys, Donna says, “they would sit down and eat whole chickens.”)

Others say the key to Travis is simpler than that. He’s basically still the kid who filled his Dad’s shampoo bottle with hand cream. “He just lives his life with so much joy,” Jason says. “He’s always kind of surrounding himself with people who are funny, who have a zest for life; it’s one of the things that defines him.”

Jason recalls many nights in the Kelce family room, the two brothers and mom eating in front of some comedy. “We had one of those coffee tables that the top would lift up and meet you at your face if you were eating,” he says, guffawing.

Indeed, Kelce has warned Swift that she’s going to have to reckon with this part of his personality. Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, Will Ferrell—they will all be a part of the relationship. “I told Taylor that I have that world, I’ve got to introduce it to her. I let her know: This is my jam right here.” (Kelce does an uncanny imitation of Farley’s dorky baritone, and the ringtone on his phone is Farley primal screaming: For the love of GOD!)

If the past is any prelude, this will register like an 8.0 earthquake among Swifties. Their queen—screening Tommy Boy? Every new factoid, every new piece of the puzzle, gets eagerly cataloged, investigated, celebrated, especially on “SwiftTok,” a fervent virtual community, according to Brian Donovan, a professor at the University of Kansas who teaches a seminar called The Sociology of Taylor Swift.

Donovan says several of his class discussions this semester have been given over to No. 87. Swifties make no apology for delving into her relationships, just as Shakespeare scholars like to contemplate the subject of the sonnets. But the deep “vetting” of Kelce, Donovan adds, goes well beyond fans. “I think there’s a public fascination, because it seems like a pure unalloyed moment of joy in the wider context of global wars, deepening political polarization, dysfunction in Congress, an ongoing health crisis. There’s a lot of bad news out there, and this is a common story that everybody knows about and can talk about. I don’t think we’ve had that in American culture for a long time.”

NOW GET IN THE CAR. Now you’re ready for the Rolls. Or are you? Gawking at the ceiling, you ask, Are those stars?

Yes, Kelce says.

You stare in disbelief. Embedded in a leather firmament are scores, no, hundreds—many hundreds—of twinkling lights, a fiber-optic galaxy meant to resemble the larger galaxy in which we’re all floating. For the sake of verisimilitude, the Rolls even produces a shooting star now and then. There was one, just a second ago, Kelce says. “Make a wish. Dreams come true.”

He guns the engine and steers toward downtown. The Rolls doesn’t drive so much as waft you around Kansas City. The ride is so cush, it almost makes sense, for a moment or two, that the car is worth more than many of the buildings you pass. (A Rolls Ghost, before customizing, goes for nearly half a million dollars.) All of which makes it that much more startling, as you come to the heart of downtown, when Kelce points out his first-ever apartment and shows you the alley door where he’d sneak in and out when he was late on the rent.

What?

He’s not ducking landlords these days. Still, he’s grossly underpaid. His $14 million salary, though near the top among tight ends, is half what the league’s star receivers make, and Kelce often functions as a receiver.

Nothing to be done, he says flatly. The Chiefs know, he says, that he would play for free. They know he loves his city, his quarterback. “Unfortunately, in this business, things gotta get ugly, they gotta get unpleasant [if you want more money], and I’m a pleasant son of a buck.”

Thank goodness for endorsements. At this point, says his co-manager Aaron Eanes, “the NFL is just his side hustle.”

Eanes and his brother, Andre, handle much of Kelce’s business life, from investments to marketing, and it was they who widened his investment portfolio, putting him into a tequila company, an energy drink and a chain of car washes. They also steered him into lucrative endorsements, like Bud Light and the Covid vaccine, for which he caught much grief from Aaron Rodgers. The Jets quarterback, out since game one of the season with a torn Achilles, belittled Kelce as a Pfizer shill during one of his Tuesday appearances on The Pat McAfee Show.

Kelce took the high road then. He’s staying on it now. “Aaron’s always been cool to me,” he says. “I knew he was trying to have some fun. He’s in a situation where Tuesdays are his game days…. So I get it, man, I’ve been injured too…. Who knows what the guy is going through?”

Mary Esselman, Operation Breakthrough’s CEO, says that whenever Kelce visits, he doesn’t bring media and he doesn’t leave until the last kid has felt seen and appreciated. Not long ago, she adds, Kelce sponsored a football camp. Afterward, Esselman asked the children to name the highlight of the experience.

One told her: “He remembered my name.”

Kelce drives you past a jazz club he likes, a coffee place he used to frequent. Just recently, he concedes, he could go to a Starbucks in Manhattan without anyone looking twice. Those days seem over. Minutes later, he’s steering past a small airport, where Swift’s plane is often prominently parked these days.

Is it there now, gleaming in the moonlight? The Kelce eras tour is coming to a close. Left unsaid, but palpable: She’s at the house, waiting.

The Rolls pulls off the highway, up the hill to your hotel. You thank him for taking so much time, for answering all your questions. As you step out of the Rolls, you turn, ask him one more.

You ask him if you’re going crazy, or did he really say that thing when you first got in the car? Did he really point to a shooting star in the ceiling of his Rolls-Royce and say, “Make a wish. Dreams come true”?

He cracks up.

He did. He said it.

He’s not running from it.

What’s more, it might just be true.

“How do you think I manifest it all?”

#travis kelce #taylor swift #wall street journal #interview

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foxes-that-run · 8 months

Text

2020 Haylor Timeline

Timeline Tag, or years 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023 and 2024.

21 January - Andrea treated for brain tumor and chemo

29 January - Harry shoots the watermelon sugar MV in Malibu. The director later says “The production process was fast! We shot in a location in Malibu. It was a private beach at this amazing house. Harry actually owns a watermelon farm in a secret location that we can’t disclose. So the day before the shoot we went with our whole crew, make-up artists, set decorators, focus pullers you name it! We all rolled up our sleeves, got stuck in and did the biggest harvest anyone in the USA has ever seen!”

31 January - Miss Americana documentary released.

2 February - Harry at Glenne Christiaansen's (Jeff's GF) birthday in Los Angeles. Huge whale cake that gets on his face.

14 February - Harry played Two Ghosts on Radio 2, the only time since 2018, anniversary of Style MV release. He also covered Joni Mitchell Big Yellow Taxi. Taylor also in London for NME awards, Joe goes with her. She says hello to every one there including Matty Healy. Harry is robbed at knifepoint.

18 February - Harry at Brit awards, went to same after party as Kendall

23 February - Harry's Tiny Desk Concert recorded in LA, the Lover CD Is in the background. Taylor was there in October.

24 February - Taylor and Joe in London for his birthday, arrived under umbrellas carrying a dictionary, Ed laughing.

26 February - Harry on today show in colour block cardigan. Xander watches with Jeff rumour he then visited Xander Ritz in phlli.

28 February - Harry's Sirius XM Secret Session for Fine Line. Harry tells a story about wawa with Xander. Seen with Xander in ny

2 March - Harry's last pre-pandemic show is at the Bowery Ballroom. Replaces the Beachwood cafe with Bowery ballroom in falling.

5 March - When Howard Stern asked Harry about marriage his response was "People’s relationships are different now, everyone’s open 👀 and people have different things."

13 March - US Travel ban (except UK), California Shelter in place orders. 17 March UK Travel ban. 16 March Taylor posts asking fans to cancel plans and stay home, shares photo so Meredith

17 March UK travel ban

18 March - Harry driving in La with Xander

27 March - Harry releases “at home with Harry styles” pandemic playlist with Zane Lowe. ‘This will be our year’ is #13, 27 songs. Includes blue nile, later mentioned on TTPD

March - June Taylor and Harry stuck in LA for 3 months. Harry told Zane Lowe he was in LA, stayed home for 6 weeks then booked and went to Shangri-la studio to record. LNT, Daylight, keep driving and Sushi. (24 Mins)

4 April - Harry seen riding a motorcycle beside Kendall Jenner and Fai Khadra.

5 April Harry seen in la and again

17 April - 2020 Lover Fest tour postponed to 2021, later cancelled. Told Zane Folklore started then. Joe IG photo of Benjamin

18 April - Taylor soon you'll get better

29 April - Joe instagram photos

19 May Taylor releases City of Lover

25 May - date Too Much Sauce leak recorded. Still in LA

31 May - Taylor records video in Long Pond about home studio. Joe school thing

9 July - Harry Styles Sleep story

18 July - Harry back in uk, drove to Italy and back with Tomo Campbell, he talks about this in the Zane interview. Driving moustache photo in HH CD

Over the summer Styles took a road trip with his artist friend Tomo Campbell through France and Italy, setting off at four in the morning and spending the night in Geneva, where they jumped in the lake “to wake ourselves up.” At the end of the trip Styles drove home alone, accompanied by an upbeat playlist that included “Aretha Franklin, Parliament, and a lot of Stevie Wonder. It was really fun for me,” he says. “I don’t travel like that a lot. I’m usually in such a rush, but there was a stillness to it. I love the feeling of nobody knowing where I am, that kind of escape…and freedom.” Harry for Vogue

20 July folklore announced 17 hours before its release. William Bowery is credited for Exile and Betty. Released on 1D's 10 year anniversary. In the Zane interview, Taylor says they continued working on Evermore.

31 July - Harry driving tractor in Italy

13 August - Harry followed Yan Yan on IG and liked some posts

17 August Harry in Studio in Bath. Recorded Daylight, Sushi, Keep Driving and Late night talking in this period.

3 September - Taylor posts about iHeartAwards from home

? September - Long Pond was recorded with Joe as WB and Tis the Damn Season written, Doretha already written.

11 September, Olivia Wilde met and cast Harry in Don't worry Darling, filming began October.

16 September - Taylor performed Betty in person at ACM awards in Nashville.

18 September Harry in London

22 September - Harry driving in La filming golden

27 September Harry in LA

13 November - Harry on cover of Vogue, after this the Peace ring only appeared occasionally.

12 November Deux Moi posts that a “one direction heartthrob” and “a list singer” used the same private chef

25 November long pond sessions on Disney + Joe announced as William Bowery

26 November Harry returns to la to film DWD, California maybe written here

11 December evermore released, taylor’s zane lowe interview, at 49:34 she pauses a lot and struggles to talk about Joe being William Bowery.

19 December Harry jingle ball seems flat

30 December - 7 photos of Joe and Taylor thought to be taken 31 December 2016 hack/leak. Only 7 photos?? She is wearing a pink wig while he shaves.

Continue to 2021

#haylor #Youtube #haylor timeline #2020

37 notes · View notes

dutchwinter · 9 months

Text

Circa Survive - Anthony Green in dress - 0:26

ShockHound Session: Circa Survive (Live) - 3:52

Circa Survive - "Get Out" (Live in Los Angeles 5-28-11) - 0:40

Anthony Green - Get Yours While You Can + When I'm On Pills + Stonehearted Man (Live) - 2:13

Circa Survive - In The Morning And Amazing (Live At Vans Warped Tour 2007 DVD) HD - 4:37 [other upload i found for fun]

Imaginary Enemy live and up-close -- Circa Survive @ SunFest 2011 (good sound quality) - 4:09

Circa Survive - Handshakes At Sunrise - 0:22

Good Old War - That Feeling ft. Anthony Green [Official Music Video] - 1:31

Circa Survive Acoustic - Kicking Down Your Crosses - 0:35

10 Year Anniversary Juturna Tour: Part Two - 9:56

10 Year Anniversary Juturna Tour: Part Four - 5:11

ShockHound Session: Circa Survive (Live) - 14:03

Anthony Green - Baby Girl (Live on the Carson Daly Show) - 3:30

CIRCA SURVIVE: Julian (Live) - 1:13

ANTHONY GREEN performing "She Loves Me So" - 2:16

Anthony Green - Center Of It All (Official Video) - 0:41

Saosin w/ Anthony Green - They Perched on Their Stilts Pointing and Daring Me to Break Custom - 0:05

The Sound of Animals Fighting - Sharon Tate, Despite Everything (Official Video) - 0:47

Circa Survive "The Difference Between Medicine and Poison is in the Dose" (Official Music Video) - 3:03

Anthony Green - "Don't Dance" Live at Crossroads - 0:13

Circa Survive - Act Appalled - 3:33

Strange Terrain [New Song] - Circa Survive. - 3:39

CIRCA SURVIVE - Spring Tour: Part 4 - 7:37

Anthony Green - Get Yours While You Can + When I'm On Pills + Stonehearted Man (Live) - 1:02

Miracle Sun | Anthony Green | Eye Level | TakePart TV - 0:26

Circa Survive - The Difference Between Medicine And Poison Is In The Dose (Live in Sydney) | Moshcam - 0:39

Circa Survive - "Oh, Hello", "Glass Arrows" and "Living Together" (Live in Los Angeles 5-28-11) - 1:20

Circa Survive on Instagram

Anthony Green - Right Outside (Live @ Paramount Theatre) - 1:42

Circa Survive - "Oh, Hello", "Glass Arrows" and "Living Together" (Live in Los Angeles 5-28-11) - 11:37

Circa Survive - Tour Sequences - NYC pt. 2 - 3:43

Circa Survive - Summer 2017 - Part 2 - 6:43

Circa Survive - Get Out (Official Music Video) - 2:37

Fuckin Whatever - Never Believe - 2:06

Circa Survive - July Tour 2014 (Part One) - 7:06

CIRCA SURVIVE "Act Appalled" Live at Ace's Basement (STAGE CAMERA) - 0:52

[hate5six] The Sound of Animals Fighting - January 22, 2023 - 59:53

Anthony Green - "Young Legs" (Music Video) - 3:12

L.S. Dunes - Limitless Sky Documentary (Part 1) - 4:56

Circa Survive - Summer 2017 - Part 4 - 1:58

Travel Hymn

break because theres a text limit <3

The Sound Of Animals Fighting - We Must Become The Change We Want To See (Full) - 14:17

Circa Survive on Instagram

Anthony Green - Plays Ugly For Daddy - 1:15

L.S. Dunes - Benadryl Subreddit (Official Music Video) - 3:10

Circa Survive - Lazarus (LIVE HD) - 0:21

Circa Survive - Summer 2017 - Part 2 - 1:16

ShockHound Session: Circa Survive (Live) - 16:20

Circa Survive - Summer 2017 - Part 2 - 6:53

circa survive at hoodwink 2010 part 2 - 8:04

Coachella on Facebook [here it is on tumblr] - 4:17

Craigery Owens and Anthony Green Duet - 3:09

Circa Survive - Summer 2017 - Part 2 - 6:39

anthony green and dave marion [fbtmof] kiss - 0:47

Act Appalled- Circa Survive with guest Geoff Rickley - 2:12

On Letting Go Tour Video Part 3 - 14:06

Circa Survive - Stop The Fuckin' Car (Live at Town Ballroom) - 3:42

Circa Survive - In The Morning And Amazing (Live At Vans Warped Tour 2007 DVD) HD - 1:58 [other upload i found for fun]

Circa Survive - Oh, Hello - Live 3/23/05 - 2:53 [other upload i found for fun]

Anthony Green - Circa Survive - The Myth, Minneapolis - 0:25

Anthony Green of Circa Survive stage dives to "Imaginary Enemy" at Bonnaroo 2010 - 1:14

Circa Survive - Act Appalled (Live at Chain Reaction 10-21-21) - 2:34

circa survive at hoodwink 2010 part 2 - 4:04

10 Year Anniversary Juturna Tour: Part Four - 7:17

CIRCA SURVIVE - Spring Tour: Part 2 - 3:27

Circa Survive - Anthony Green in dress - 0:24

sources and timestamps for all of wilde @funeralend's absolute territory 2! there's 66 clips this time [counting the beginning and end as different of course]

#again!! if any of the links are fucked lmk #anthony green #:3

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gotham-ruaidh · 5 months

Text

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Chapter 14B: Where Do We Go Now?

Soundtrack: “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” Guns N’ Roses, 1987 [click here to listen]

Now and then when I see her face She takes me away to that special place And if I stare too long, I'd probably break down and cry

- Guns N’ Roses, “Sweet Child O’ Mine” (1987)

Tucson || July 1988

It didn’t matter what Colum or the label or anyone else said – all recording studios looked the same on the inside.

Sure, there were always small differences. The really comfortable couches at Sound City in Los Angeles. Electric Lady in Manhattan still had the really cool paint scheme that Jimi Hendrix himself had designed. Muscle Shoals in Alabama oozed coolness.

But this studio, whose name he couldn’t and didn’t care to remember, nestled down a back street in Tuscon was…tired.

Almost as tired as Jamie.

The “quick three week tour” had stretched to eight weeks, with no end in sight. Theater shows had been upgraded to arenas. Playing to thousands and thousands of ecstatic fans. Pouring their hearts out night after night after night, and squeezing in radio promos and sound checks and business meetings during the day.

Fucking exhilarating.

Everybody wanted a piece of Print – their music, their story. Jamie still hadn’t granted too many interviews this tour, but the press ate up every word he said about sobriety and music and forgiveness. Insatiable for details about the woman he had met in rehab, and written all the new songs about, and refused to name publicly.

Print was making more money than they knew what to do with. The label had sprung for a private plane, and nobody in the band missed the rickety and smelly tour bus (except Claire, because it was still all so new to her, which Jamie added to the list of thousands of reasons why he loved her). Their hotel rooms were bigger. Catering in the dressing rooms was much nicer.

Fucking exhausting.

So many people wanted a piece of Jamie every day. Ian and Angus, to run through the new material that just kept pouring out of them. Colum, to talk ticket sales and adding second and third nights in each city. The suits from the label, who kept finding them in Dallas and Kansas City and Detroit, slapping Jamie’s back and pushing terrible ideas for duets with pop stars or contributing to a movie soundtrack or pleading to do the acoustic set in a special for MTV.

And on top of that, some dirtbag reporter from the National Enquirer had figured out who Claire was, somehow got a hold of her personnel file from the hospital, and tracked down her shitty ex-husband for an exclusive interview. Splashed her life all over the tabloids, complete with very grainy photographs of the she and Jamie together, holding hands, on a rare day off in Nashville when he took her to a few honky-tonks. The one saving grace was that thankfully, nobody at The Ridge had said a word about anything about her time there, or the time they shared together.

Claire took it all in stride. She always understood. Holding him in the bathtub of their suite in Denver as he shook from another panic attack. Smiling over a three AM hamburger at a diner in Topeka. Whimpering as he came off stage in Atlanta, sweaty and keyed up from singing about her, hoisting her in his arms for a long kiss against the lighting equipment at side stage, heart stuttering to see his eye makeup smudged against her cheeks.

The man he was on the last tour – unhappy, unfulfilled, so deep in an addition he didn’t care to acknowledge – would not recognize the man he’d become on this tour.

“In ’86, we played seventy eight dates. We had a number one record. I bought my house, and my motorcycle, and my car.” Quietly he sipped coffee in their suite in Seattle, watching the city wake up, running his thumb over Claire’s shoulder as she settled against him in front of the window.

“You had everything you had always dreamed of.”

He snorted. “I was a mess. All I could think about during every show was how to find a girl or a bottle or a baggie as quickly as possible. And the crew would always do that for me.”

The crew respected his – and Claire’s – request for no drugs or alcohol backstage this tour. What the techs and roadies and production crew did on their own time, in their own hotel rooms, with whoever they wanted to – Jamie didn’t care. But for everyone to help with, to respect, his sobriety was a gift. And he never stopped saying thank you.

“If only those reporters could see you now – Jamie Fraser swaggering off stage for an Evian.”

He smiled. “And to kiss this beautiful doctor who for some reason keeps following him around. Because he loves her, more than any man has ever loved any woman.”

He wanted to provide for her. To shelter and protect her. To never leave her side ever again.

She didn’t need him to do any of that, of course. They’d talked about it many times. But she wanted him to do that. And the fact that she chose him, kept choosing him…that was why they kept going. Kept each other sober. Kept holding each other up.

They’d agreed that this time on tour was for her to understand this part of him – and to help both of them decide how and where they would live once the tour was done.

Which is why the radio silence from Boston, four weeks after mailing the letter from Philadelphia asking, politely, just what the hell was going on…was so fucking crushing.

The stress of that – and the grind of touring – did make it just a bit more difficult every day.

Thankfully Colum had scheduled a week-long break at the end of the month. Angus was already planning a trip to Aruba with the two groupies, who truth be told had grown on the rest of the band. Ian was planning to spend the week with his wife, Jamie’s sister Jenny, and their kids.

And Jamie and Claire – well, they’d be getting married.

Only a few people knew, with good reason. Ian and Jenny, of course. Alec and Faith, in New York. Colum. Dougal MacKenzie and his wife Gillian, who had helped both Jamie and Claire so much at The Ridge. Uncle Lamb, who would officiate. And Claire’s friends Joe and Gail Abernathy, who had quite literally saved her life by getting her to The Ridge in the first place.

The service would be simple. Exactly what they wanted – what they needed.

And after that…well. They would truly be husband and wife.

But there was a lot to do – a lot to take care of – between now and then. Not the least of which was, wrapping up this recording session.

The time laying down acoustic tracks in Philadelphia last month was very well spent. They weren't so rusty. But the guys were eager to hear the songs in electric form. And since they were in Tucson, and Colum knew Bobby Higgins – who not only owned this studio, but who had also produced that really killer Ratt album in ’84…

“OK, Jamie.”

Jamie took a deep breath, and looked up through the glass at Bobby, hunched over the console in the control room.

“Ready for take two?”

Jamie looked left, to Angus – and right, to Ian.

“Yup.”

“OK – this is In My Veins, take two.”

Jamie grit his teeth.

Caught Claire’s eye in the control room.

She smiled.

He relaxed.

Angus counted in on his drumsticks, and then started the heavy beat like they’d discussed.

Four bars – and Jamie’s guitar and Ian’s bass joined in.

“That was really, really great, Jamie.”

Claire handed him a new bottle of water, cap already twisted off. He drank it in four deep gulps.

“I know you’re not shitting me. So thank you.”

Quickly she looked over her shoulder – Angus’ cheeks were being loudly kissed by the groupies, and Ian played around with his bass, and Colum and Bobby were deep in conversation in the control room.

“Where are you?”

She had pulled him away before, when the panic attacks were coming, and he knew she’d do it again right now if needed.

He wiped his mouth with the back of a sweaty hand. “About an eight out of ten.”

“Do you need a break?”

He met her eyes. “I need a meeting. Been thinking about my old friend Jack Daniels all day.”

“Did you see something?”

He sighed. “I’ve only played electric a handful of times since I got back from The Ridge.” He looked down at the gorgeous Stratocaster strapped across his chest, fist flexing. “I got this guitar because the black tone and white trim matched the label on the bottle. Stupid, I know. But it’s all I could think about today.”

“Not stupid. We’ll deal with it. You should call Alec. And I can find you a meeting.”

He leaned in, and kissed her forehead. “I love you. I’ll call him. And I need to sell this guitar.”

She nodded. “We’ll find a charity.”

He kissed her again. “I love you.”

She kissed him quickly, and returned to the control room.

Grateful that Jamie had turned away to talk to the guys, when Colum tapped her on the shoulder, and slid over an envelope postmarked Boston.

“Mail call. Do I want to know?”

She shook her head, folded the letter, and slid it into the back pocket of her jeans. “Is there a Yellow Pages I can borrow?”

#outlander #outlander fanfic #jamie and claire #little bit better than i used to be

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kindahoping4forever · 10 months

Text

🎲 The 5SOS Show Tour Dice Roll Selections 🎲

Final Tally:

If You Don't Know: 9

Voodoo Doll: 8

Wrapped Around Your Finger: 8

English Love Affair: 6

Heartbreak Girl: 6

Heartache On The Big Screen: 5

Buenos Aires Night 1 - 19 July 2023

Heartache On The Big Screen

Last played: 29 May 2016 @ SLFL Copenhagen

Buenos Aires Night 2 - 20 July 2023

Voodoo Doll

Last played: 30 August 2016 @ SLFL Spokane

Rio de Janeiro - 23 July 2023

If You Don't Know

Last played: 15 September 2017 @ Rock In Rio

São Paulo - 25 July 2023

Heartache On The Big Screen

Last played: The 5SOS Show Buenos Aires Night 1

Times played: 2

Santiago - 27 July 2023

If You Don't Know

Last played: The 5SOS Show Rio de Janeiro

Times played: 2

Bogotá - 30 July 2023

If You Don't Know

Last played: The 5SOS Show Santiago

Times played: 3

Uncasville - 10 August 2023

Heartbreak Girl

Last played: 2015 July 22 @ ROWYSO Mountain View

Boston Night 1 - 12 August 2023

Wrapped Around Your Finger

Last played: 4 October 2016 @ SLFL Sydney

Boston Night 2 - 13 August 2023

English Love Affair

Last played: Live Debut

Toronto - 15 August 2023

Voodoo Doll

Last played: The 5SOS Show Buenos Aires Night 2

Times played: 2

Detroit - 16 August 2023

Wrapped Around Your Finger

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Boston Night 1

Times played: 2

Bristow - 18 August 2023

If You Don't Know

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Bogotá

Times played: 4

Philadelphia - 19 August 2023

If You Don't Know

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Bristow

Times played: 5

New York City - 21 August 2023

Voodoo Doll

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Toronto

Times played: 3

Chicago - 23 August 2023

Voodoo Doll

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour New York City

Times played: 4

Cleveland - 25 August 2023

Heartache On The Big Screen

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour São Paulo

Times played: 3

Cincinnati - 26 August 2023

Wrapped Around Your Finger

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Detroit

Times played: 3

Minneapolis - 28 August 2023

Heartbreak Girl

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Uncasville

Times played: 2

Indianapolis - 30 August 2023

Heartache On The Big Screen

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Cleveland

Times played: 4

Nashville - 1 September 2023

Heartache On The Big Screen

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Indianapolis

Times played: 5

Atlanta - 2 September 2023

Wrapped Around Your Finger

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Cincinnati

Times played: 4

Raleigh - 3 September 2023

If You Don't Know

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Philadelphia

Times played: 6

Hollywood- 6 September 2023

Voodoo Doll

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Chicago

Times played: 5

Houston - 9 September 2023

English Love Affair

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Boston N2

Times played: 2

Dallas - 10 September 2023

If You Don't Know

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Raleigh

Times played: 7

Phoenix - 13 September 2023

Wrapped Around Your Finger

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Atlanta

Times played: 5

Los Angeles - 14 September 2023

Heartbreak Girl

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Minneapolis

Times played: 3

Lisbon - 23 September 2023

English Love Affair

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Houston

Times played: 3

Madrid - 24 September 2023

Wrapped Around Your Finger

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Phoenix

Times played: 6

Milan - 26 September 2023

Voodoo Doll

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Hollywood

Times played: 6

Stuttgart - 27 September 2023

If You Don't Know

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Dallas

Times played: 8

Düsseldorf - 28 September 2023

Heartbreak Girl

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Los Angeles

Times played: 4

Brussels - 30 September 2023

If You Don't Know

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Stuttgart

Times played: 9

Amsterdam - 1 October 2023

Voodoo Doll (Band's choice)

Last played: The 5SOS Show Milan

Times played: 7

Glasgow - 3 October 2023

English Love Affair

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Lisbon

Times played: 4

Manchester - 4 October 2023

Voodoo Doll

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Amsterdam

Times played: 8

London - 5 October 2023

English Love Affair

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Glasgow

Times played: 5

Luxembourg - 7 October 2023

Heartbreak Girl

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Düsseldorf

Times played: 5

Paris - 8 October 2023

Wrapped Around Your Finger

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Madrid

Times played: 7

Budapest - 10 October 2023

Wrapped Around Your Finger

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Paris

Times played: 8

Gliwice - 11 October 2023

Heartbreak Girl

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Luxembourg

Times played: 6

Prague - 12 October 2023

English Love Affair (Ashton's throw)

Last played: The 5SOS Show Tour Luxembourg

Times played: 6

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #the 5sos show tour #the 5sos show tour dice roll #kh4f post #final update!#lmk if there's any errors but for now this is it! 🎲#the 5sos show tour setlist

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lovesosweeet · 8 months

Text

better left unsaid // cth

chapter eleven

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

read other chapters

july 31st, 2018 los angeles, california calum

Saying goodbye has never been my strong suit. I wish it would've gotten easier over time — with as many goodbyes as we've had to give, it should be easier. It's not.

I guess it's gotten easier with people who mean less. Friends, distant family. It's fine if we don't see each other too often, because the time we do spend together ends up feeling more valuable. I don't mind the few times we see each other each year having more weight than they used to, but with Orion, it's so, so different.

She's my absolute best friend. She's my unconditional, unwavering biggest fan. She's my voice of reason. She makes the good days even better and the bad days a bit less bad.

I had a life without Orion, before we met, but I never want to live a life without her again.

From the moment we woke up yesterday until now, both of us have been a lot more somber. We cling to each other as much as we can, needing to be as close as physics will allow. The only times we are apart are when one of us uses the bathroom.

I tossed and turned all night, my mind racing with thoughts. Why didn't I try harder to convince her to come with us? How often will we actually be able to talk? Between her classes, work-study, LSAT prep, press interviews, soundchecks, performances, traveling, sleeping, and time zones, how often will our lives line up?

I love touring. I really do, but I love Orion more than anything else in this entire world. I would do anything for her as soon as she asked.

I try to remind myself we’ll be back in time for the holidays and for O’s birthday, so while we’re missing time together, we aren’t missing any important days. Orion already has a Friendsgiving planned and I’m sure she’s got Secret Santa in the works too. I try to just think about the good parts of traveling and all of the fun things we’ll get to do when I get back. Emelia and I have already been trying to plan a trip for her and O to come join us on tour for their fall break, but we’ll see if that actually ends up being possible.

We’re not flying out until 3:00 this afternoon and don’t need to leave for the airport until 12:00, but I wake up at 6:00. I don’t wake Orion up until 8:30, but I spend my two and a half hours of silence in bed, holding her as close to me as I can without squeezing her so hard that she’d wake up. She looks so peaceful like this, her hair loosely cascading around her face, her skin makeup free, and her eyes closed, making it even more apparent that she has long, thick lashes. This is the last time I’ll wake up like this for a few months. I sneak a selfie of us, hoping to use it to remember how it feels to sleep next to O while we’re a million miles away.

To wake her up, I just start peppering kisses all over her face. First, her forehead. Then, her eyelids. Each cheek. Her jaw. Her temple. I wait for her eyes to sleepily blink open before I press my final kiss to her lips.

"Mornin', baby."

She smiles, sleepily gazing up at me. "Morning."

I could get lost in her eyes forever.

"Wanna get pastries and coffee?"

Her smile grows into a grin. "Yes, please."

—

After a morning of flaky croissants, weird lattes, and a long walk around the neighborhood, Orion and I took our last shower together for a while. We stood under the steamy stream of hot water, just holding each other in silence. I'm going to miss those moments.

Following the shower, I dress in an all black sweatsuit and slides. Orion pulls on the shirt I wore yesterday — "it smells like you" she explained — and a pair of sweat shorts, slipping her Birkenstocks on. We cuddle with Duke on the couch while we wait for the van that Matt sent to pick us up. I make sure to pet Duke a ton and give him a few treats so that his last interaction with me is a happy one.

The call that the driver is here comes far too quickly, and we buzz him up to let him get my bags. I don't make him carry all of them. He gets my two larger checked bags, and I grab my duffel bag, and Orion carries my backpack. I probably overpacked, but things seem to mysteriously disappear whenever we're on the road.

"Are you going on vacation?" Ron asks when we're clambering through the lobby with all my luggage.

"Cal's going on tour," Orion explains. Her sad expression hurts something in my chest.

Ron smiles. "Oh, wonderful! That's so exciting. Calum, I hope to hear about your journey when you return. Best of luck!"

I smile graciously and nod. "Sure thing, thanks Ron. Keep an eye on this one for me, will you?" I motion to Orion, who glares in response, and Ron agrees to make sure she's safe.

We throw my bags into the trunk of the black van, the driver opening the sliding door for Orion and me. I let her get in first, of course, and then climb in after her, closing the door behind me. We sit as close to each other as we can in the backseat, my arm wrapped around Orion's small frame, her head on my chest, my other hand intertwined with her hands while she traces over my tattooed initials.

She's already crying, and I have to look away so I don't follow suit.

The drive is silent; the driver doesn't even play a shitty top 40 station. All we listen to is the GPS navigation.

Our driver takes us to a special entrance at LAX where we don't have to mix with the public, and as we pull up, I see Michael and Crystal getting their things out of the van that brought them.

"Hey guys!" Michael cheers.

Of course, they're happy. They're not spending this tour apart and are going to get to travel the world together. They're looking forward to this whole thing, meanwhile I'm dreading it.

Okay, I suppose dreading it isn't quite how I'd describe it. I'm excited to tour and see fans all over the world and perform the music we just released. I am dreading being apart from the girl I love most.

Orion doesn't say anything, she just waves to him.

When Michael catches onto our mood, he frowns and runs over to us, wrapping us into a hug. "Don't be sad, guys! This tour isn't that long. We'll be back before you know it, O."

She sniffles and nods, pulling back from Michael. "I'm gonna miss you guys." Her teary eyes catch Mike's gaze and then I see something in him shift before he hugs her again. Orion keeps her hand in mine while she hugs him back.

"You're gonna make me cry too! It's gonna be fine, OK? We all love you and will miss you just as much as you miss us."

Once Orion manages to regain some of her composure, we head inside. Our bags have already disappeared, except for our backpacks and Crystal's tote bag. When we get in, Matt, Ashton, Luke, Sierra, and most of our crew are already in there, milling about.

"Great, you're here," Matt says while he walks up to us. "Let's go ahead and start going through security."

Again, we're in some separate part of LAX that the public doesn't have access to, but we do still have to go through TSA like everyone else, it's just a separate, far smaller one.

Unspokenly, everyone lets Orion and me go first so we can have as much time on the other side as we can together.

Once we've gone through security and have our shoes back on, I pull Orion off to a secluded corner and just hug her as tight as I can. I can feel her tears soaking my sweatshirt, and I try to console her by smoothing my hand over the back of her head. Her small hands clutch at the back of my sweatshirt, balling the material into her fists.

It takes a lot of effort for me not to cry.

Why is saying goodbye so hard?

I don't know how long we're standing there for. I'm just trying to be here with Orion for as long as I can.

"Boys, time to board," Matt calls.

Fuck. It's time.

"Say your goodbyes," he adds.

Even though he says boys, he's not talking to Mike or Ash or Luke. Crystal and Sierra are coming with us, and Kay is at the hospital with her grandma, and the rest of our crew wasn't allowed to bring guests into the airport at all. He's just talking to me.

Orion squeezes me closer to her as hard as she can, and I just keep smoothing her hair. It's so soft.

I take a few deep breaths, preparing to speak without my voice cracking. "I'll see you when I get back. I love you."

She sniffles, and I feel her back shake while she cries. It breaks my heart to be the cause of this pain. She doesn't deserve it. "I love you," she manages to say.

I pull back so I can look at her. Her face is red and puffy, tears shiny on her cheeks, and yet, she's still so beautiful. I could look at her forever. "You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen, even when you're crying," I tell her, meaning every single word. I wipe away her tears with my thumb.

She scrunches up her face and blushes, looking so cute while she does. Everything about her is just... perfect.

"Flattery isn't getting you anywhere today, babe," she starts. I pretend like she's wounded me. "I love you. Go, board. I'll be cheering you on every night."

Instead of replying, I lean down and kiss her again. How can I not kiss her every day? I lived a life without Orion before, and I never want to do that again. I want to kiss her every day for the rest of my life. I want to make her laugh every day. I want to love her every day. God, I can't imagine not loving this girl. How can anyone not fall in love with her?

"I love you so much. I'll call you when we land, okay?" I kiss her nose. We're going to Japan first, so it'll be quite a long travel time. I don't want her waiting around trying to time the call correctly, so I'll just plan on calling her the moment our wheels touch down in Tokyo.

"Did I mention I love you?" I ask. That makes her grin, and my heart hurts a little less.

"No, I don't think so," she teases.

"I did!" I pout.

Orion gently pushes my chest. "Go."

I sigh, nodding. "I'm gonna miss—"

I'm cut off when a hand grabs my shoulder and I feel a body behind me. "Cal, mate, we've really gotta go." It's Ashton. I hang my head and nod.

"It's not easy to say goodbye to the love of your life, dude!" I defend myself.

Ashton grins, but his eyes are sad, too. He must be thinking about how Kay isn't joining us yet, either. He gets how hard it is to leave. "She also literally just told you to go!"

"I'm gonna miss you too, babe," Orion chimes in. She kisses me again and then she steps several feet away from me, too quickly for me to try to catch her and pull her back. "Go!" She laughs.

I know she doesn't mean it negatively; she's just trying to let me do my job and what I love, but it hurts somewhat that she's telling me to go. I can't explain it. I sigh.

"Okay, fine, I'll go," I decide sadly.

Orion blows me a kiss as I walk backward toward the door, and I numbly leave, trying my hardest not to cry. Once I'm through the door, I let a few tears fall. I realize then that no one else has gotten the chance to say goodbye to Orion, so I'm the only one getting on the plane from our group.

The crew, Michael, Luke, Crystal, and Sierra join me soon, each offering me sympathetic glances.

"We're gonna have fun, mate," Michael says, throwing an arm around my shoulder. "Orion's a strong girl, she'll be fine without you."

I just nod, not saying anything.

I take my seat on the plane, watching the rest of our crew clamber past me. I wonder what's taking Ashton so long to board. I know he and Orion are close, but it's odd considering now we're just waiting for Ashton and Matt. I quickly send a text to Orion while we wait.

To: my love + stars i love love love you. i wish you could come with us, maybe next tour? you say the word and i'll fly you out wherever and whenever you want. i miss you already. xxx

When Ashton finally boards, his eyes are red and he's wiping away tears, too. He sits next to me, sniffling quietly.

"I'm gonna miss her," he admits.

I smile sadly. "Yeah, me too."

From: my love + stars i'll miss you far more i promise. love you the literal most ever. go take on the world.

“She loves you so much, man,” Ashton mutters.

I’m not sure where that came from, but I know emotions are at a high. “I love her so much.”

He nods. “I know.”

Once everyone is on the plane, they shut the door and we start taxiing. Ash gets out his headphones, signaling to me that we aren’t going to be talking on this flight, at least not now. I get mine out too, send Orion a few heart emojis, text my family that we’ve boarded our first flight of the tour, and then put it into airplane mode.

I check the time. It’s 2:32. Underneath the numbers, I stare at the picture of Orion and me from the other day when we got ice cream. She looks so pure, and happy, and the sun reflected in her eyes in a way that made them almost look lit up. I can’t wait to be back and see them in person again.

God, this is going to be a long tour.