#love when they decide to use the one brain cell they share between them for good

[ladyelainehilfur]

they're such liars 😂

[faededaway]

[AIZAWA X READER]

Warnings: [smut] [established relationship] slight prey x predator themes. (As such, this may read as noncon in some lines)

It's oddly quiet in your shared apartment. It always is this way when one of you is alone at home.

He should've been home now.

But you guess a villain may be keeping him longer. So, you decide to wait for him in bed. You want to change into something more comfortable than your day clothes so you fish for Aizawa's sweatshirt and a pair of your pyjama pants.

A shiver runs up your spine when you take off your top. Something about it feels different from a cold shiver. Your hair stands on end. It's like something is in the room with you. You're facing your wardrobe on the opposite end of where the "threat" seems to be. A glare of sorts. Something that makes a deep fear take root in your bones. You brace yourself before turning around to face the source of your tremors.

It's him. Seated on the dresser. Hands crossed. But, he's not yours. A predator stares back at you. Watches you. Almost daring you to flee. You face him and wear your clothes slowly as if you're trying not to startle him. When you're done, he drops his legs off the dresser and that makes you run out the room. Your legs move before you know what you've done. It's a stupid move because the door is next to the dresser. There's no way you'd make it before-

Surely, he grabs you by your arm and pulls you into his chest. He buries his head into your neck and chuckles when he hears your heavy breathing. He pulls you onto his lap and lifts your, his, shirt to bare your chest. He laughs, oh he laughs, a condescending laugh and says, “you dressed yourself just so I could undress you like this. Didn't you, my little lamb?”

He brings his lips to your chest, leaving teasing bruises down to your nipples. He could bite you. He does bite you, softly, playfully. Just to make your heart race. When your hands come up to grasp his shirt, he moves his hand between your legs.

You hate this more because he always pleases you with his hand. Just his hand. This is enough, isn't it? He had said once. And you're yet to prove him wrong. It humiliates you to know how well he knows you.

He rubs your thighs first. Preparing your mind and body for what's to come. Then, he uses his knees to spread your legs. A gasp always leaves your mouth when he does that. A shame burns in your neck. You like this, you like this a lot. You're scared, but your body coils into him instead of moving away from him.

Your feet are around his. Your arms are glued to his shirt, holding on for dear life. And your pussy throbs at the thought of him.

He touches you with just a finger first. He traces your lips with it, as if inspecting dust on a shelf. “You've done half my work for me.” More laughing. Oh, god, he finds this so amusing. He finds your humiliation so amusing.

When you whimper at his comment, he wastes no more time before fucking your cunt with his fingers. He uses two of them first. His ring and middle finger, so that he can palm your whole cunt while fucking into it. He rubs your clit every once in a while, to feel you squeeze around his fingers.

Its always the same song. You start with soft whimpers, withheld moans, choked breathes. The pre-chorus involves a garbled mess of 'please', 'ngh', 'ah', and 'itssogood'. The chorus is an important part of every song. The chorus of this song was an easy one liner that repeated itself for a period of, 'until he builds up the orgasm just to slow it down enough to recover 2 brain cells and cause a repeat of the pre-chorus'.

Oh, yes, the chorus is, 'daddydaddydaddypleaspleasepleasepleasepleasedaddydaddydaddy'. He likes it. It's not everyone's favorite. But he likes it. The bridge of the song is his favorite though, it is slightly unique every time he plays this song. A sweet, unhinged moaning and whimpering that sometimes included words like, 'you make me feel ssoo good', 'i love you', 'please kiss me' or 'can I please suck you?'.

Today's bridge includes crying. Oh, oh, he likes this one too. Crying, sobbing, and a soft whisper of 'thank you's.

Mhmm. Yes, he likes today's song. He brings his hand up to his mouth when the song ends and tastes you on his fingers. He uses his other hand to rub your back while cooing at you.

His soft lamb who sings him his favorite song, yes. He loves this play very much.

[issela-santina]

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

aka

oh don't bother me I'm not here for the jazzy prison riot, I'm here to talk to my wife, Simon Pegg, through the surveillance camera

Nicholas Angel looks like he could impersonate Lady Margot Fenring but the mask maker said no and died on him

Jeremy Renner's dream come true: shouting at Tom Cruise

Paula Patton doing the impossible: kicking ass in a mini pencil dress

(this bullet point is specifically dedicated to the brain cell in me who pretends it's a DJ and who decided to play „Sandstorm“ by Darude)

what we need is an explanation about at which point Benji underwent an aesthetic twink death DILF birth between this movie and Rogue Nation

Bogdan and Ethan are actually shippable but so are Ethan and Sidorov. imagine your enemies to lovers

The Impossibles [insert the swelling horns from the scene where Mr. Incredible found out about the deaths of his fellow supes]

EVERYTHING IS BROKEN. THE GADGETS. THAT BITCH WHO KILLED MY COLLEAGUE THAT I KICKED OFF THE TALLEST TOWER IN THE WORLD. KURT HENDRICKS. ME (almost)

Brad Bird seeks revenge on Pixar

Paula Patton looks great in aquamarine actually

“and I catch you” (Branji can I ship?)

Brandt tries to be tough but ends up being a cinnamon roll

Michael Giacchino's punny score saga, I lost count

Pluto is still a planet to me, Benji!!

how to straight flirt with a rich af bigwig who thinks every guy you hang out with is your bf

the sweaty Brandt shot hits different when you survive a heat wave

“oh I thought it was a bigger org but it's just two guys and one of them is a hopeless atomic sadboi”

Benji confesses his love to Ethan and shares his condolences about Julia in the fucking Kremlin. from Russia with love

“next time, I seduce the rich guy” oh Brandt don't you worry ;)

the one true MVP here is the airbag in that BMW Ethan used to nosedive to Hendricks's nuke case

Luther judging Ethan for saying MISSION: ACCOMPLISHED out loud is all of us

Benji truly has autism and it shows. his mouth is his third hand. he's in missions because Ethan likes him back. he sometimes mantra-izes his words into something worth repeating. shaky but focused

omg. Julia. alive. she knows. that her husband's new boyfriend is also a bit protective of her by extension

[undreaming-fanfiction]

This is a very belated birthday drabble for the wonderful @unclewaynemunson, your Pat a Mat AU is ready, Anna! I hope you enjoy the ridiculousness just as much as I have.

One would think that once all of the Upside Down bullshit is done, Vecna buried, all of them alive, healed and with enough hush money from the government to last a lifetime, that Steve Harrington and Nancy Wheeler would settle down, find some quiet comfort in their potential careers and each other. There would be pleasant dinners, quiet conversations and peace they haven't known for a while.

One would think that. But that one wouldn't probably be familiar with their romantic partners, Eddie Munson and Robin Buckley.

See, Steve and Nancy come from picture perfect households. Eddie and Robin don't. So where Steve and Nancy have a certain sense of what should be done and how it should be done, Eddie and Robin have a) enthusiasm, b) creativity, and c) terrifying amounts of energy.

Which is probably why Steve and Nancy are here, sitting on a picnic blanket with a bottle of wine between them and two first aid kits ready. They are watching Robin and Eddie who took to gardening and are now doing their absolute best to uplift their garden to new aesthetic heights.

That's a lie. This isn't gardening, this is an Indiana plant massacre with garden shears.

"So now you cut off the top and it will bear the perfect resemblance to our beloved dingus!" announces Robin and slices off way too much of the bush. The poor thing looks almost dead.

Nancy leans towards Steve and whisper-asks why the two decided to create a bush statue of Steve between the two gates leading to their houses, but Steve doesn't have an answer. He just downs his glass of wine and watches the tragedy unfold.

It's always like this. Robin and Eddie come up with a home improvement project, get very creative and then Nancy drives them to the hospital while Steve and Wayne clean up their mess. It's lucky Nancy and Steve love them do much.

When a new half-secluded neighborhood was built in Hawkins, the four of them thought it was perfect. Two small and adjacent houses, two gardens that they could connect by tearing down the fence. No one to judge them for being in same-sex relationships, no one to stare into their windows. The expectation was that Steve would spend lots of time with Robin, the two taking turns using their single shared brain cell, but instead, they got...this.

In the last year, Eddie and Robin's project list included, but wasn't limited to:

A theoretically wonderful invention of an alarm clock that would open the window once it started ringing, letting in fresh air and sunlight. Nancy and Steve weren't sure how it was supposed to work, the two inventors kept their progress a secret, but they saw the results, a broken window, a wall clock the size of the ones found in a train station, three broken broom handles and a ball of tangled wire.

An automated lawn mower. That one nearly worked. Nearly. Eddie tied the mower to a stake in the ground and Robin taped the starter so it moved on its own - a bit too well. The stake was no match for the mighty mowster (coined by Eddie) and the four of them ended up chasing the runaway machine throughout their street.

An effortless pancake flipper. It didn't matter how many times Steve repeated that he doesn't mind cooking, likes it in fact, Eddie wanted his boyfriend to be able to get comfortable and to sleep in because his Stevie deserved all the comfort and perfection he could get. Steve only learned about this experiment when he came home to a pan tied to a drill, spinning and splashing batter everywhere. Robin and Eddie were blindly walking around the kitchen walls, batter in their eyes and muttered reassurances that the pancake menace would have to run out of batter. Eventually.

Back to the present and half bottle of wine in, Eddie and Robin finally understand that no matter how much they cut, they're not getting Steve's likeness out of the suffering bush. Nancy and Steve exchange a well-practiced look, sensing a dip in the manic energy of their beloved partners. They slowly lure them in, Steve with cold beer and Nancy with a fancy cocktail that Steve pre-mixed. Among cut branches, dead leaves and quiet that wasn't fooling anyone, Nancy kisses Robin's cheek and says she's really sorry their plan didn't work out.

"Oh don't worry, Nance," Robin smiles and there's something unsettling about the look she shoots at Eddie. "We have a plan B."

The next morning, Wayne visits them and is stopped in his tracks by a...thing. Probably...originally, once upon a time, it must have been a bush. The bush now looks like all of Indiana's herbivores stopped by and munched it into an approximately human-like shape. Not very distinct, but there's no room for questioning as there's a huge Steve head with a Scoops Ahoy hat taped over the upper part of the bush.

Half a year ago, Wayne would have been concerned. Now he's just mildly amused.

He makes his way to the Munson-Harrington house and gets a cup of coffee from Steve while Eddie's gentle snoring echoes from the bedroom. "So..." he says, "No loss of blood or limbs this time?"

And Steve, bless his heart, only snorts and pours himself the rest of the kettle. "That's what makes the thing outside almost bearable. It's so ugly but they were so happy when they managed to get the tape right, I just...I can't take it down."

Wayne nods, sipping from his mug. He too would do almost anything to keep his nephew happy.

But if he happens to accidentally knock into the bush, entangle himself in the tape and has to destroy the Steve Bushington in the process...it's definitely just an accident.

[tired-biscuit]

Bite

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: Kiba/fem!reader

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 18+ mdni, modern AU // werewolf!kiba, monsterfucking, size kink, biting kink, breeding, unprotected sex, slight a/b/o themes [mf has a knot], pregnancy talk, mentions of blood. established relationship, they are very cute.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 10.5k

𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁

𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻, 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘀. 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴!!

𝗞𝗜𝗕𝗔 decides to share his secret with you on Halloween. 

He doesn’t know why he wants to tell you on October 31st, exactly. Perhaps it is that the matter at hand is rather fitting for the spooky season, or maybe because the last two functioning brain cells inside his head are telling him that you’ll be able to cope with it better this way – his peculiar way of thinking is something that nobody but him seems to make sense of.

So, it takes Kiba four years and three months to make the final decision. It may seem like a long time to some, but to him the years pass by swiftly. He spends them all by learning about how your mind functions and by gathering his wits. By hiding every full moon and ghosting you completely with zero explanation. By persuading himself that that same mind he is so very fond of picking apart and piecing back together, will be the one that will accept him for who – what – he is. 

And as spring turns to summer and autumn falls victim to the icy clutches of winter, Kiba stalls. Year after year, your relationship grows like a sturdy vine taking over the walls of an abandoned building with the change of the seasons. The cycle repeats itself for the second, third, fourth time around, and Kiba still keeps changing his mind. 

He almost tells you sooner than planned, but then he worries. Grows agitated because of said worrying. Stalls even more. Almost gives up, and thus nearly abandons you as a result at some point as well.

You don’t know anything about that, of course.

But no matter what he picks and chooses, something makes him stay put. Kiba can’t quite explain the reasoning as to why. It might be that he’s immensely loyal. Or the fact that he’s in love. Maybe you’re his person. Perhaps it’s in his blood. He doesn’t know what it is, but he lingers because of it. Wraps his arms around you and falls even deeper. So deep, in fact, that he can’t possibly find his way back to the surface and moral reasoning anymore. 

And because of it, he feels scared when the day he has to tell you his secret finally comes. Absolutely petrified. But he trusts you now, he’s positive about that. Nearly half a decade of being so close has done its job. 

And he hopes, nearly prays to a god he’s long since lost belief in, that after all of this is over, you’ll still trust him, too.

—

Much to Kiba’s misfortune, that doesn’t happen.

You don’t trust him anymore.

“Oh, my… You we-were actually being serious for once, huh?” The words are spoken barely above a whisper by someone who you think is you, despite that you swear you’re on the brink of screaming your lungs out. 

Everything is quiet chaos. Standing in the middle of your bedroom, it’s a struggle to breathe properly; you can’t even get an exhale out, much less a shout. The moment your boyfriend’s supposed prank turns out to be a truth so gruesome that it makes your jaw drop, you’re feeling like your legs are giving in. To say you were on the verge of fainting would be an understatement. 

You feel like you’re going to die.

It all happens exactly how he’s told you it would, but that doesn’t help. Staring at the thing that used to be your boyfriend just mere moments before the pale moonlight had seeped past the curtains, you still find yourself frozen into place from the shock and terror that begin to course your veins in fast, pulsating waves.

The movie you were watching together on your laptop is still playing. Background music and dialogue fills the tense air between you and is the only sound present besides his deep breathing and the ferocious pounding of your heart; which you swear you can feel climbing up your throat now. 

The movie is playing – time certainly hasn’t stopped. But you wish it did.

He’s just so big, after all. Huge in every aspect, he’s nothing like himself and you’re barely keeping pieces of your sanity sticking together because of the intimidating stature he possesses now. He’s broad, the slopes of his shoulders are potent and the curve of his biceps is so defined that you’d have trouble wrapping both hands around just one. There’s no way your fingers would touch whilst hugging it – you’re positive.

And goodness, he is heavy. So fucking heavy, in fact, that the mattress sinks below him, and the wooden framing of the bed gives a prolonged creak of protest because of the triggering weight when he picks himself up. 

Watching them stretch and relax repeatedly, you suppose you’re used to seeing the strong limbs and the rippling muscle, even if it currently hides underneath thick, coarse fur. And it may be just a hint of familiarity soothing you now, but panic still flashes through your very soul when he stumbles on his hind legs as soon as his feet land on your carpeted flooring. 

Standing at his full height, your boyfriend – or rather the thing that used to be your boyfriend – appears even taller now. Its enormous stature makes dread trickle down the back of your sweaty neck, because god-fucking-damn it; the top of its head is nearly touching the fucking ceiling. 

But it's still Kiba, or that’s at least what you keep telling yourself. This creature is still your lover, even if his clothes are torn and his entire body is sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the furniture of your bedroom that just appears toyish when compared to him. 

And now, his arms flail around in the same manner his tail does. Wagging from side to side, it’s a brief moment of alarm as he attempts to catch his balance like a toddler learning to walk for the first time. But he’s not a child; he isn’t even human. Every clumsy footstep he takes on the carpet is like a dull thud of thunder because of how hefty he is. It seems that even he, himself, isn't quite used to his new body just yet. And it’s almost cute in a way.

Almost. 

Still, cute or not, the entire situation makes your breath hitch and forces you to take a cautious step back when he turns towards you at long last and just looks at you. 

Staring right back at him, you’re not sure if you like having his attention on you all of a sudden. So you stand more firmly, lift your hands into a shield of sorts – as if that could fucking stop this monster of a wolfman if he ever did make the decision to tear you to shreds and swallow you whole – and just breathe.

You just can’t help it. Stepping back and causing more distance feels like a survival instinct, because he is just that – a monster. You don’t do it on purpose, it seems, but the reason for it is because of the more uncanny features he possesses. And those features frighten you right to the bone, whether you want them to or not.

The tail is on top of that list of reasons, of course. But it’s also the eerie height. How he stands and walks like a human, but isn’t one. The triangle-shaped ears atop his head and the set of honed claws on each broad, paw-like hand. The chestnut fur. How his eyes are now yellow instead of a golden brown. 

Speaking of his eyes: they glow in the silvery moonlight. The pupils inside dilate sideways whenever a shadow crosses them, and both are so sharp that they’d do a better job at piercing through you than the point of the sharpest blade ever could. 

The thought makes your skin pull taut and your heartbeat thump inside your mouth this time around. You can feel it rattling behind your teeth, which you’re clenching so hard that your entire jaw is beginning to hurt. Even the saliva that has gathered on top of your tongue is hard to swallow from how thick it’s become laced with fear now. 

Your entire body is shouting at you to run away.

But you can’t run. You’ve sprouted roots into the ground by giving him the promise of staying no matter what happens, and you simply can’t break it; can’t run. You’re here to stay, because perhaps you’re even more loyal than he is.

So it’s just you. 

And the werewolf.

The big bad werewolf.

“H-Hey,” you croak out feebly after what seems like ages, upper lip trembling in pure fear. He’s still staring at you; unmoving. Just breathing in and out, in and out, in and out. Other than the rise and fall of his shoulders, he’s so still that it’s making you feel on edge. “You–...” Your brow furrows as you try again, “You in there, Kiba?”

The sound of his name being spoken into the air makes him perk up. And it’s feeble relief that washes over you now as you finally release a shuddering breath. Like a sign that your boyfriend remembers at least some part of his human psyche, you watch as one of his ears twitches before he tilts his head to the side like your neighbour’s German Shepherd tends to do whenever it snows outside for the first time. 

It’s curiosity in its finest form, but despite him recognizing his name, you’re still worried. Especially because that curiosity makes him come closer. Makes his attention shift solely onto you ever so slowly; the only living, breathing thing left inside this house besides him.

You certainly hope it’ll stay that way by the end of the night. With both of you still breathing.

Because footstep after footstep, Kiba’s balance goes from inept to completely fine by the time he backs you up against the wall and just keeps staring at you. 

The yellow in his irises makes his eyes sublime. Shadows dance inside them as he approaches, turning them dark then light again. The size difference between you is so profound that he has to stoop down just to reach eye level with you. Practically looming over you, you feel like you’re about to start crying any second.

His pupils dilate immediately after eye contact is established and your own turn foggy from the tears that are beginning to gather at your waterline, threatening to spill. Black consumes the yellow; swallows it whole. Until you can nearly see yourself in the reflection of the void.

And even if he’s told you what to expect when he’s like this, even if you’ve nodded and laughed at the warnings he’s tried to get across because you couldn’t have possibly taken them seriously: as soon as you come face to face with this supernatural being, you’re simply terror-struck.

And you don’t trust this being. Don’t trust it at all.

But every moment is used for his benefit. He’s starting to learn about your mannerisms. You’re standing still as a statue, fear lacing your scent so profoundly that he feels the need to dip in and hide his face into the crook of your neck just so he can smell it better. 

So seconds pass: one, two, three. He breathes in your scent so that he can memorize it. Rests a paw on the curve of your hip as gently as he’s able, even though you can still feel its immense weight and the way the claws dig into your skin right through your t-shirt despite the mellow effort. He can’t retract them, but they’re still so sharp that you have no doubt he could tear right through the thin cotton in mere seconds if he wanted to, along with everything else underneath.

Your stomach twists because of it. If he scratches or cuts you by accident and smells your blood as a result, you have no clue what’ll happen. He’s never told you about that possibility. 

And perhaps it’s just a gut feeling, but something tells you he had good reason for it.

Eyes blown wide, shoulders shaking with the fast-paced, never-ending series of inhales and exhales that you can’t seem to slow down for the life of you, you’re letting out a quivering whimper that makes your entire face twist in reluctant disturbance. He’s just too close, too unnatural. Too demanding to know you better, and thus too pushy.

So you try to push him away to cause more distance between your bodies because you can’t focus, can’t breathe. But holy fuck, every hair on your body prickles and stands up to attention when instead of having him take a step back, you just hear him growl in response.

He doesn’t like that; the snarl and the flash of big, sharp teeth tells you all you need to know as his upper lip curls and reveals the gleaming white underneath. Doesn’t appreciate you shoving him away like he’s unwanted and scary, when all he wants to do is to be close to you and just breathe you in. Just that, he isn’t even thinking about hurting you. 

But you don’t know that. Can’t understand him either.

Listening to the growl as it slowly dies down, it’s a quiet sort of sound that comes from the depths of his chest and rumbles in the back of his throat. Like the noise a dog makes before it’s about to go absolutely nuts at any given second, except that it’s deeper, more threatening; a warning to come from a provoked beast much larger than your poor self. The series of vibrations it sends through you makes your teeth rattle inside your skull and your skin pull even tighter over your bones from how deeply it fazes you.

And when you whimper out of fear again, the tears spilling over your hot cheeks, it makes him freeze. You’re scared – scared of him – so he pulls back, looks at your sweat-riddled face, as well as the fright it exhibits, and looses a freaking sigh now.  As if he’s upset by your reaction, perhaps even disappointed, the low grumble to follow right afterwards only adds to the discontent he feels for you.

And you; you’re staring up at him, sniffling and trying to blink away the blur in your eyes now whilst your entire body is literally shaking. 

He’s the one that’s displeased? After scaring the literal shit out of you and making you cry, he is the one that gets to grumble about it like some senile, old grandpa whenever his grandkids get caught doing something naughty? You can’t believe the nerve of this man. Wolf. Wolfman? Werewolf.

It seems that Kiba remains a crabby douche no matter what form he’s in. And it is him; your grouchy boyfriend is actually still somewhere in there – looking at you worryingly through pupils that remind you of a cat’s, and owning a body so powerful that it could turn your entire house to rubble if it went on a rampage.

“I-I’m sorry,” you choke out at the thought, carefully reaching out to place your hand on his chest again, but this time to appease him instead of shoving him away and provoking him again. “I just–... I wasn’t expecting this, ‘kay? Try and understand how I feel about this.”

Just breathe. Breathe, breathe, breathe – in and out. He’s less scary already. 

He perks up at your words again, his paw covering your hand entirely when he presses it more closely to his heart so that you can feel the rhythm of his pulse better. The knuckles are nearly human, as well as the digits that bend and curl over your own now; just covered in fur and equipped with those menacing claws you’re still continuously flicking a wary eye towards every few seconds.

Fingers tangling into rough chestnut fur, his heartbeat is so strong and other-wordly that it makes you sick in a way. It beats faster than any human heart – rhythm quick and potent enough that it kisses the pads of your fingers every time it hits.

It’s like the damn muscle is jumping and bouncing off the sides of his ribcage as he grumbles once more in answer, this time more in agitation than anything else. He can’t even speak proper English with you, or any other human language whatsoever, and yet you’re starting to understand him perfectly just from the faces he’s making and the noises of irritation coming from the back of his throat every once in a while.

“What,” you whisper, feeling dizzy from the heat his body gives off, “what is it?” It’s as if his very blood has come to a boil, is starting to sizzle like oil on a frying pan underneath all of that muscle and skin. He’s practically burning up, warming your entire bedroom by merely existing. It’s making your vision spin before your very eyes.

So he clutches your hand harder when you look like you’re about to faint; pushes it even closer to his heart. And when you look more stable, like the touch grounds you in a way, he circles his free paw around his face – that uncanny, strange face – and presses it to your own chest. To your own heart.

“What?” His hand, if you could call it that, is so big that it covers the entirety of your ribcage. Thumb to pinky; he’s touching you from one end to the other. You have trouble breathing at the realization of his immense size. “Is there so-something wrong with my heart?”

He shakes his head in answer. Repeats the action of circling his face, but then he stops and pauses for a moment. Contemplates. Pointing to his twitching ear this time around, he does it a few times before pressing the paw to your heart again.

Puzzled, you blink at him, attempting to understand what he’s miming to you as he starts pointing to his ear again. “Are you… Are you saying that you can hear my heart?”

He nods feverishly now, tapping his digits against the middle of your chest a couple of times in the exact same rhythm your heart beats inside your ears, paying heed that he doesn’t strike you with his claws by accident.

“It’s fast, yeah,” you mumble hesitantly. “Nothing like yours, though.”

And now, much to your surprise, he whines in reply; sounding like a little puppy when it yawns with that squeal-ish sort of sound. As if he’s not happy at all with your statement.

Your brow quirks because of it. “You don’t like that it’s fast?”

Kiba shakes his head again.

“Why?”

You frown when he just points to his face again and drops his eyes to the floor. He taps you over your heart only once this time; gently. Like he’s afraid he might break you in two if he uses any more force, the click of his claws only gives you more proof that he could. 

And it’s sort of soothing – him caring enough to be this cautious. It calms you, coaxing you to warily place your hand upon his own and say, “I’m not scared of you anymore, Kiba.”

You mean it. Even if your body is still stiff as a board; you mean it.

But all he does is grumble again. Incoherent, rumbling sounds that make you chuckle almost as his tail drops limp between his legs. Your lips are twitching as you speak again, “I’m serious, my heart is beating so fast only ‘cause I love you so much, and ‘cause I’m worried about you. I mean, baby, you have a tail, for Christ’s sake. Come to think of it… Does it hurt when it grows out?”

What a lucky girl you are, your statement makes him growl for a third time as his paw drops from your chest and rests on the curve of your hip instead. If he weren’t so big and unpredictable, you’d bash his head in for being so fussy. “Stop making that noise, y-you’ve gotta cut me some slack! At least I didn’t run away and called the cops! Or, ya know… Animal control, since you’re… Well… Yeah.”

The look he gives you now just spells that sarcastic ‘Funny.’ even though he really is more animal than human. He’s nearly slouching, curving his broad back just to remain face to face with you, and when you’re about to open your mouth to retaliate, because being witty is just how you’ve decided to cope and be comfortable around him, nothing but a squeak pushes past your lips instead.

Because now, Kiba lifts you up – so swiftly and effortlessly that you’re amazed in a way, even if it’s nothing surprising if you take his sheer size into consideration. Paws wrapping around your hips, you can feel his claws dig into the plush fabric of your pyjama shorts, but never tearing, as he tosses you over his shoulder and just keeps you there. 

Like you’re some damsel in distress, hell like he’s Bowser and you’re Princess Peach; he carries you across the room as if you’re light as a feather.

You squeak out this high-pitched sort of noise when he throws you onto the bed. Squirming around, you try to back up against the headboard, but he grabs you by the ankle and just pulls you closer as he falls onto the mattress himself.

Nearly cringing at the second creek of protest the wooden framing gives to his weight, your own objections are stifled as his arms wrap around you like armor and he attempts to make himself seem smaller – badly. One paw-like hand rests on your middle now, giving you a single push until you’re firmly pressed against his chest. You can feel his heartbeat thumping right against your spine now. It nearly makes the discs rattle from how strong it is.

And even his tail is wrapping around your hip in almost a protective manner now; warming you up with the heat of his body and the thickness of his fur. You’re sweating after mere seconds, the coat of salt thickening the glaze that’s already there as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck and just starts breathing in your scent again.

It’s like he’s addicted to the way you smell. Even with the initial tension gone, every grunt that reverberates down your spine is still chill-inducing despite the heat.

Laying next to him in the dark, the rational part of your consciousness screams at you to run and never look back. How you should feel scared; caged in from the way he wraps himself around you and holds you in place. But you don’t. Goddammit, you just don’t. You’ve known him for too long, and he’s just too sweet, even if he looks equally as bitter.

However, when you attempt to turn around to look at him again, he just growls once more. The same as the first time, it’s a warning, but it doesn’t scare you like it did the first time.

Your voice is calm because of it now, “You don’t want me to see you anymore?”

Paw leaving your middle for the briefest moment, you exhale a sigh at how cool his lack of touch feels now as he points at the laptop that’s still laying open on your bed. His body temperature is so high that it makes you burn all over when he touches the sliver of bare skin on your belly.

You swallow the thick saliva that’s gathered inside your mouth again. “The movie, right… Watching movies until you change back, or I fall asleep. Just like you’ve said.” 

Fuck, when he pats your stomach in approval and grunts, it just makes you sweat even more. You shouldn’t be thinking about this sort of thing, now should you? About how it’d feel if he were to stroke the naked skin, not just linger on it… If he were to lick it, too. His tongue is probably rougher than normal. It’d hurt, wouldn’t it? Or would it feel good? Oh, and how would it feel if he were to trace your skin with those claws just enough to make you antsy?

As the thoughts ensue, your toes are curling from embarrassment, expectation, arousal – you, yourself, don’t even know from what. This entire thing is so confusing. Are you seriously attracted to a fucking werewolf, or is the heat that’s pooling between your legs only there because this is something new and exciting, and it’s your boyfriend that’s the beast? 

The curiosity of humans truly is a wonder. It’s like you truly want to fuck everything that comes your way.

But it seems that Kiba knows what you’re feeling even if you don’t, or perhaps he can smell the change of hormones that lace your blood now. Because as soon as your dainty fingers lightly begin to trace his own thicker ones, seemingly all coy and innocent, he starts to stroke your naked skin in return, too. Gentle swipes that nevertheless make your breath hitch in the back of your throat, he’s sighing at the way your thighs squeeze together in response to his touches.

You’re slowly becoming drenched; he can smell the dopamine on you. The amount is big enough to make his thoughts fuzzy and his dick hard. God, he wants to suck the hormones right out of you.

So he lets his fingers travel higher. Lifts the hem of the shirt you’re wearing with one sharp claw and reaches just the underside of your breast as he strokes even more tenderly. Same movements, different pace and intensity, because he needs to be careful if he wishes to keep you intact and whole.

Minutes pass. He’s stupid, so he’s somehow ended up with both of your tits in his hands; squeezing the fat and flicking the cute nubs ever so gently. Making you squirm. Listening to your quick, little breaths. You’re so needy that it’s amusing in a way.

However, he grunts the moment you roll your hips against his own. Your smell turns him insatiable – you just smell so fucking good, it’s not fair – so he bucks his hips forward and ruts into you once, twice, but then stops immediately when you mewl something delightfully submissive in response and arch your back to feel him even better over your flimsy shorts.

Shit. That sounded so good that it made his ears perk up.

But he’s so big when he’s like this and you’re so small. The ridge of his semi-hard cock that presses against your clothed cunt is already so massive that there is no way your tiny human body would be able to take him in – it is quite literally impossible, no matter how badly you want it to happen. Too enormous for your sweet little pussy, he’d ruin you completely with just one pump if he was to become completely turned on. And you don’t even have a clue about the knot.

Holy fuck, the knot – how could he forget. His heart is racing now at the thought of you taking it willingly, it’s insane how fast it is as he releases you and points towards the laptop again with somewhat shaky digits. 

It’s better to stop early. He’s not sure how much sanity he has to spare, the fact that you’re accepting him for who he is; that you are getting fucking aroused by what he thought of as an ugly secret until now is making drool ooze down his sharp teeth. Is making him yearn to push your face into the pillow so that he can just take you doggy style, because it’s, well… Fitting.

He wants to do it painfully slow and rough. Like an animal, the instinct to breed you until you’re his little mate is so acute that it hurts him. Christ, you’ve mentioned wanting kids, now that you’re both in your mid-twenties. Have begun talking more and more about moving in together and starting a family. 

And Kiba wants it, too, he truly does. He wants kids, marriage. The chance of coming back to a warm home every single day, and spending the rest of those days with you, now that you know what he is. He’s never been happier because of the fact that you still want him just as badly as he wants you, but how the fuck is he supposed to give you all of that and grant you all of your wishes when he’s a monster?

During the course of your relationship, he’d been nothing but excuses as a result, even if he didn’t want to be. Stalling whenever you had suggested sharing a household. Completely disappearing roughly once a month whenever there was a full moon, even though – much to his luck – you’ve never managed to make the connection. Telling you, ‘Yes, I want kids.’ even though he’d started pulling out the moment you had told him that you got off your birth control.

Seeing the disappointment cross your face each time was hard. He wants kids, fuck, he wants them so bad – it’s in his blood to give you as many as you’ll be willing to have with him, for fuck’s sake. But all of this is complicated. Him feeling scared to give you babies because they’d almost surely be different from the ones you gush over whenever your friends swing by is completely justified.

But now, after you’ve seen him for what he is and have clearly accepted him, just imagining you still wanting kids with him makes his fucking tail want to wag. The way you'd whine and then beg him to cum inside you as your tiny pussy sucks him in, in, in. How you'd spread your legs and let him grab you by the hips until they'd be littered with scratches. How you'd squeal when he'd bite you to keep you still for long enough to make you pregnant with his offspring.

There’d be more than one in this form; he’s sure of it. Sadly, he’s just too big to fit. Perhaps, if you’re willing, you could try when he’s back to normal again.

“But Kiba, I–” Your lips clamp shut the moment he points to the screen again, this time sternly, and exhales this deep, fed-up breath through his nose that tickles your neck and just makes you buzz all over.

He’s even drawn his hips away from you whilst thinking of slamming them in instead. No more rutting – you’re not fucking a monster no matter how bad his need is and how nicely you’ve accepted him. He wants you alive and whole, after all.

And that means: end of discussion.

—

Even in his werewolf form, your boyfriend is as stubborn as ever.

You finish the movie with a frown etched upon your lips that he promptly seems to ignore for your sake. As soon as the credits roll, he makes you watch another one. 

Hours pass; fading away into the night, and you feel him growing lighter. Smaller. More human. Changing or not, Kiba still doesn’t allow you to look at him during it. He’s told you that the transformation can be a bit unpleasant to see when you’re not used to seeing it, so you can’t do anything else but comply with his wishes. 

And just when you’re on the verge of sleep, consciousness nearly fluttering away into dreamland, do you at long last feel him move.

Thick fingers digging into your t-shirt, he presses himself against you after hours of nothing. “Babe?” He whispers right into your ear, nudging you with the tip of his nose, “You still awake, baby?”

He can speak again.

“Mhmm.” His body is still so warm that you can’t help but feel it lulling you to slumber. “I’m awake.” It’s a bother to stay that way, but you still force yourself to remain conscious by rubbing your cheek into the pillow tiredly. “Can I look at you now…? Please?”

A smile ghosts over Kiba’s lips at the plea you’ve surely been harboring for hours. He’s still not used to you knowing and liking this part of him. He doubts he’ll ever be. “I’m not fully back to normal just yet,” he says, and you can tell, because there’s still this coarse bite to his voice that makes him sound like his teeth are too big for his mouth. “But I think it’s safe enough to look… If you want.”

You don’t ask him if he’s absolutely sure, nor if he’s all right with it. Far too impatient to look at your boyfriend again, you’re swiftly flipping onto your other side to finally lay your eyes on him not even a second after the words of insecurity finish leaving his lips.

His appearance makes your heart start to pound all over again. Not out of fear, though. No, this time it’s thrill – the good kind.

He’s mid-stage, just like he’s said he’d be. Not human just yet, although not full-werewolf anymore either: he’s a being of something supernatural and in-between that you don’t know how to name for the life of you. 

He’s still big – bigger than usual – though nearly not as before. The fur is gone, but his hair is still overwhelmingly thick; partially hiding the pointy ears that remain sitting and twitching ever so slightly atop his head. His facial features are back to normal, even if his eyes aren’t. Still yellow, they glow in the dark with those slits for pupils that dilate sideways whenever they make eye contact with you. You can feel the tail as it curls around your hip once more, and can see the fangs when he parts his rosy lips to release a shuddering, anxious breath.

He looks like a hybrid. That’s the word!

“How long?” It’s the first thing that comes out of your mouth as you reach up to touch him. He’s completely naked underneath the thin duvet, you can see the pile of torn up clothes on the floor. It’s a good thing he’s brought an overnight bag with him.

“Huh?” Goddammit, he’s so insecure that he flinches when your fingers make contact with his warm, golden skin.

Your gaze turns soft as you trace his cheekbone and utter, “How long have you been like this?”

“Uh,” he mumbles, brow furrowing despite that he tilts his head so that he can lean into your touch better, “ever since I can remember. I was born with the gene.”

“Just you?”

“It… It runs in the family.” 

Your teeth sink into your bottom lip. Chewing on the tender flesh, your voice is hushed, “And why haven’t you told me?”

He hates admitting his vulnerability to anyone – even you – but he has to if he wants this relationship to work and for the bond to strengthen. So he sighs, voice equally as quiet as he says, “I was scared you’d be disappointed.” 

He pauses for a bit now, letting the beat of silence pass. Avoiding eye contact whilst those peculiar yellow eyes flick across your entire room, he seems almost jittery in a way, despite that you’re the harmless human in this situation. God, he hates feeling insecure like this.

You can’t stay still, silent. It’s eating you alive, so you cut into the quiet, “What is it?”

“It’s…” Kiba inhales deeply, shaking his head with a groan that just provokes you further. You’re on the brink of jumping him and shaking him by the shoulders until he spits it out. Luckily for the both of you, you don’t have to do it because now he at long last looks you in the eye and says, “It’s hereditary.”

This time, your roles are reversed and the silence is far longer than the previous beat. A lot longer.

“Say something, sweetheart,” he mumbles, voice strained from nervosity.

“I see.” It’s all you give him and Kiba isn’t sure what the tone means. Either he’s dumb as fuck or he’s just incapable of reading it, it doesn’t matter how sensitive the ears atop his head are – he is still not getting it. 

So he asks, “You know what that means?”

Instead of answering, you ask a question of your own, “Is that the reason why you turned all weird when I got off the pill?”

He just nods before his chin dips down, lips pressed into a firm line and shoulders slumped. Oh, boy. Watching how guilty he looks, you almost feel the gears turning inside your head as all the puzzle pieces click and begin to paint the bigger picture you would have never solved on your own otherwise. 

And here you were; worrying like some idiot that he was refusing to settle only because he didn’t take you seriously enough. 

The entire thing seems so utterly stupid, now that you think about it.

“Is it, like,” your voice breaks before you swallow the saliva that’s gathered inside your mouth. “Is it definite? If we were to have–...”

His expression softens at the worry to glint inside your eyes. “There’s a chance.”

“A chance?”

“Yeah.” He sighs again. “It’s not, like, fully definite or anything like that... I mean, Hana isn’t like this, and we’re brother and sister. But there’s still a pretty big chance, ‘cause I’d be the dad and my genes are… Well, they’re more dominant, I guess.”

“They’re more likely to prevail?” you ask, quirking a brow as you place your hand on his warm chest. His heartbeat isn’t back to normal, per se, it just isn’t nearly as fast as it was before. “I think I’ve read that in an article somewhere before. Or a book I was reading… I can’t remember.”

“I don’t like that word; prevail,” he mumbles, the bridge of his nose scrunching in distaste. You can even see his ears flatten until they’re flushed against his head. “Our kiddos would have as much of you in ‘em as much as they’d have me.”

“Yeah, but if they’re like… This,” you trace his chest gently and jerk your chin upwards to make a point, “they’d have more of you in them than they’d have me, right?”

“They could still have your smile. Or your height. Hell, even your eye colour, which is so pretty by the way.” Kiba says, the corners of his lips twitching when you smile at the smooth compliment. “The yellow would only show when they’d turn once a month; and that's to say if they’d turn. I mean, yeah, it’d play a huge part in their lives, being like this, and it would be hard at times… But that side isn’t everything that'd define them, ya know? They’d still be people. Human.”

You’re surprised how mature he is about this – speaking about it as if he’s practiced it in front of the mirror a dozen times before, albeit still sounding just as genuine. Normally, you’d expect him to be unreasonable whilst attempting to shove his head through the wall, but that’s not the case this time around. And thinking about said case; he’s right. 

Even if he turns into something unnatural every full moon, he’s still Kiba, no matter the form. He’s still your boyfriend who likes to poke fun at you every chance he gets, who likes to scream with joy at the TV whenever his favourite team scores a point, who always picks chocolate ice cream over vanilla, who’s terrible at making the fitted bed sheet actually fit over the mattress – all of that. Those quirks make him human, and he is just that. He’s a person, just like you.

Though, he’s just proved to you that he’d be a wonderful dad, too.

“I don’t see it as a bad thing, baby,” you say, blushing at the thought whilst cupping his face delicately. “I still love you, even if you look like you’ve just graduated from Monster High.” It’s no wonder he was so good at being a jock, both through high school and college. Always so agile and fast by instinct.

He snorts, rolling his eyes. “Hilarious.”

You giggle at your own jab. Sigh in content at the kiss he presses to your cheek a moment later. “I still wanna try, you know.”

He stills, warm mouth lingering right next to your temple. “Like… Right now?”

“Yeah.” Your voice is nothing but a whisper as your fingers tangle into his hair and trace the back of one pointy ear. Like a cat, you’re simply too curious to hold back. You can see them both flatten against his head in an instant as he stiffens above you and groans.

“Sensitive?”

“Yeah.” He pauses to draw in a shaky breath. “Very.”

Well, fuck.

You’re growing hot again, almost feverish at how responsive he is to mere strokes. “Should I not touch them?”

“You can. I’ve just never–... Nnh.” He turns into putty that you hold in your hands the moment you scratch his scalp and trace the shape of both triangles after hearing his approval. They’re surprisingly delicate underneath the pads of your fingers; almost silken to the touch and twitching every time you land contact. “Never had anyone touch ‘em before. It’s different than anything else I’ve ever felt.”

His brain might just burst if you actually take his knot.

“Okay,” you whisper. “I’ll be gentle.”

He’s toying with your shirt, claw tugging at the hem whilst attempting to focus. “You seriously wanna try for a baby now?” Turned on so easily and still yearning because of the teasing you gave him before, he can’t think straight.

“Yes,” your answer is confident. Honest. “As long as it’s safe for the both of us, I don’t care if our baby ends up being like you. I’ll still love it, just like I love you.”

God, he could cry at this point. “It’s safe, just a little different... Might hurt a bit ‘cause I’m still pretty big, but I’d never put you in harm's way, you know that, baby.”

Your heart is racing. “How much would it hurt?”

“We’d–...” Goodness, he’s so flustered. “We’d be stuck for a while after we’d be done, like for half an hour… Maybe an hour. It can get a bit uncomfortable.”

“Why?”

He blinks. “Why would it be uncomfortable?”

“No, like why would we get stuck?”

“Oh.” Heat sears Kiba’s face at your question. He’s looking down at you with a furrowed brow and nearly a frown now. You just look so perfect, hair all messy over the pillow and skin dewy, and here he is about to explain the most humiliating thing ever. 

“I, uh… God, this is so embarrassing, but I have a knot, okay? It’s meant for, mm… Basically, it makes me unable to pull out, because it literally hurts us both if I try. And uh–...” He’s nearly scowling now, the poor man. “It just gives us a better chance at having a kid, okay? That’s all you need to know.”

“Wow.” Your eyes grow wide at the crude explanation he’s given like he’s some damn caveman. Pure wooden clubs and unga bunga language, like the definition of Fred Flintstone. “So it’s just like in those fanfics I’ve read as a teen?”

“C’mon, baby, I don’t read that shit.” The pointed look he gives you with those sharp pupils tells you everything you need to know. Nearly makes you laugh. “And you shouldn’t have either, ‘cause listen to the crap you’re spouting while we’re talking about our goddamn future… I mean, seriously.”

“Hah!” The chuckle slips out. “I’m so sorry, Ki. I’ll be good, I promise.” 

He rolls his eyes in faux-annoyance. “Aha.”

“C’mon, I wanna try!” The smile that’s forcing itself on your lips is so big. “I want to have a kid, and move in together; all of that… So, do you wanna do it for real this time?”

Something is fluttering inside his chest and stomach at your proposal. Something that makes him light-headed as he looks you dead in the eye and says, “Well, it depends… Are you gonna take my knot?”

Oh, he’s serious now. All intense, his eyes are burning like a forge.

“Yeah,” you whisper, the air suddenly solemn. He doesn’t want you to joke about this. “I will.”

“Yeah?” he whispers back. “Even if it hurts a little? You’ll still take it?”

You wonder what ‘a little’ means to him. No matter. “Mhmm.”

Studying your features for any hint of deceit, he’s breathing hard just thinking about it. “Okay.”

As are you. “Okay.”

Moments pass, and the silence is intimate. However, you start to laugh again the moment his tail starts to wag. He’s just so goddamn red, so adorable. “You excited?”

“Yeah, m’sorry,” he mumbles bashfully. “It has a mind of its own sometimes. Especially when I’m happy.”

“You’re happy ‘cause I’ll take your knot?”

“Overjoyed.”

“That’s cute. Like you’re a good boy, or somethin’.” Heat is crawling up your neck as you look at him underneath your lashes and mumble, “So… How do you want me?”

Fuck, that flusters him even further. Especially because the communication is good and you start touching his ears again. Good boy, good boy, good boy – he really is a good boy. “I, uh… Just lemme…”

But instead of finishing his sentence, Kiba just manhandles you into position. He’s as gentle as he can be, perhaps even respectful, though you still feel heat overtake your body the moment he flips you onto your stomach with complete ease and hovers above you by pinning both arms on either side of you.

He’s still so big; strong. His body covers your own, warmth and that musky scent fogging your senses completely. That alone is enough to make you shove your face into the pillow and push your ass up as high into the air as it’ll go. Like a proper little mate.

You smell so sweet with dopamine that it makes his voice sound rough from how dry it makes his throat as he watches you squirm into position, “I–... I gotta undress you first.”

“Just tear it off.” Your eyes are glazed over when you turn your head to the side to look at him. “It’ll be faster that way.”

The drool he forces down is thick. “You want it that bad?”

“I need it, love. Need all of you.” Even the werewolf side.

“Shit… O-Okay.” Goddammit, you’ve even got his voice to quiver as he does what you ask of him. The collar of your top chokes you for a brief moment as he tugs on the back of it, fingers so eager whilst the cotton starts biting into your neck, but then he releases you the moment the noise of shredding fabric fills the room. 

Kiba trails his eyes over your exposed back now. At the way goosebumps cover the smooth skin the moment he traces your spine with the tip of one claw. He can see the sides of your tits as they press against the mattress; all plush-like. It just makes his mouth water all the more. “What about the shorts?”

“Same as the shirt,” you mumble, lifting and wiggling your hips again.

His pupils are overtaking his entire irises. “Underwear, too?”

“Mhmm.”

His tail is wagging again, you can hear the dull thump, thump, thump against the mattress. “Tell me what I ever did to deserve you… For real.”

You could tease him. But this moment is tender, intimate, so you decide against it and just say, “Shush.”

You’re naked in mere seconds after that; he’s slicing through the fabric like it’s butter. And that excites you, especially as he inhales so, so deep and says, “Fuck, baby… What’re you doin’ to me?” 

“Nothin’...?” you trail off playfully, smiling into the pillow as you feel your toes curl. His voice is just so coarse; so fueled with passion. You’re dripping just because of the dazed tone alone.

“You smell so fuckin’ good, that’s what you’re doing,” he mumbles, kissing your bare shoulder blade as he tops you. “It’s driving me insane.”

Your eyelids flutter shut at the kisses he keeps peppering all over. “Is your sense of smell better than usual?”

“Yeah.” The tip of his nose presses against your spine, making you giggle when the ends of his hair brush your skin. “I can smell how turned on you are. All that dopamine, fuck… I’m so lucky.”

You chuckle now, “I’m surprised you even know what dopamine is.”

“Tsch. Full of fuckin’ surprises today, aren’t I?” He’s got a smile of his own gracing his features, all charm and pointy fangs. “You need foreplay? I’ve put on lube just now.”

“No,” you utter. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“It’ll still hurt… Even with the lube.” Another kiss to your shoulder, his hips are already meeting yours so that he can align himself with your dripping cunt despite the warning. He’s so impatient to get inside you, after all. “I’m, mm… I’m bigger than usual.”

He says it like it’s a bad thing.

But you’re already buzzing with anticipation; heart racing and fingers gripping the pillow as you feel his cockhead prod at your sopping hole. He’s leaking pre-cum, throbbing and pushing against you and spreading gooey lube everywhere. Waiting for you to say the magic words. “I-I can take it.” I think.

“Good enough for me.”

And it’s true: you can take it. Although just barely.

Every inch that he sinks into you now gives you a stretch that is almost unbearable to endure. His cock is big; fat – it makes you cry. Girthy and thick, you can feel the vein on its underside throbbing inside you as he keeps pushing, pushing, pushing. Slowly and cautiously, his ears are pressing flat against his head again and his tail goes limp from how hard he’s concentrating to make you comfortable and to not go fucking berserk.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck… Baby,” he whines. Your pussy is literally drooling. Sucking him in, despite that he’s overtaking your capacity so very fast. “You feel s’good, baby. We-... We’ve still got a bit left but we’re almost there.”

Almost? It feels like he’s in your throat already. Like he’s fucking impaled you on his dick, you’re already salivating onto your pillow, with your eyes crossed and your brain numb. You’re breathing hard; panting underneath him. Sweat oozes out of every pore on your body from the effort you’re both putting into making this work. You’re still so small underneath him, so fragile that it makes him nervous. Doesn’t make him stop, of course, but the nerves are enough to make him chew on his lip. 

“Goddammit,” you whisper, screwing your eyes shut. His size is gruelling – it’s literally rearranging your insides. “Y-You’re so big, Ki.”

“I’m sorry.” Genuine.

“Too big, baby.” Your breath jumps and stammers as he bottoms out and groans at the wet smack! The mewl you let out right after makes his ears twitch.

“Ah, I’m so sorry.”

He’s apologetic, sweetly kissing your shoulder and the side of your sweaty neck from how bad he feels for making you hurt. But he can still smell the absurd amounts of dopamine coursing your blood. Can smell the merest hints of oxytocin as well. You’re into this as much as he is.

Your bodies are pressing against one another to become one; your back is arching and his hips are dipping in just to be as close as is humanly possible. Limbs entwine, mouths open and close in needy gasps. Even your skin is tightening and hardening as he starts to throb inside your fucking womb.

“I took you in,” you mumble dazedly. “Took you in… All the way.”

“You’re such a good lil’ mate, baby,” he whispers in reply. “Gonna breed you so good as a reward, okay?”

You’re looking at each other the moment your head whips to the side. The eye contact is so intense that it makes your pussy clench around his goddamn monster cock. “Y-Yeah?”

“Mhmm, yeah.” He sucks in a sharp breath at the sensation; hissing through his teeth, making you glance at the sharp incisors. “Gonna give you so many pups... I can’t wait to hold ‘em. Our babies.”

His words warm your soul, not just your heart. You’re a hot mess; all sloppy from the drool and tears he’s making you spill, but it feels so good. Your boyfriend fills you up in a way nobody else ever could, because they’re just people and he’s a species of his own. 

A species that stretches your velvet walls to make room for even more cock. That makes you spurt milky slick and gush all over that same dick as it starts to thrust in and out of your warmth, forcing you to moan out the sickest of profanities. 

Fuck, you can feel every drag of his girth. Can feel him in your gut whenever he sinks back in, in, in. 

Time turns non-existent as he screws you, and not once does he exit you completely. He’s relentless at staying inside you for eons at a time, yes, even when his pace picks up and turns so harsh that you feel like he’ll snap you into two. Even as you start to literally sob into the pillow, and he repeatedly keeps kissing your cervix with that fat cockhead of his in answer. Even when your moans turn into sounds only a fucked-out slut could produce. 

He’s fucking you like an animal, even if it’s slow and passionate instead of violent and rough.

“Gonna–...” Your voice is so high-pitched that it makes his ears slant, “Soon, gonna cum real soon…!”

“Yeah, I can smell it,” he grunts, panting quick and hard. “You’re all oxytocin, baby. C’mon, gush.”

“Tryin’-!” Jaw slack, your mouth hangs open as he hits the sweetspot and makes you squeal mid-sentence instead.

“That’s it, pretty. Spill.” He just can’t stop, the way you clamp down on him is too good for words. “Fuck yourself on my dick, c’mon… Just. Like. That.”

You have no clue how he does it, but he somehow manages to make you cum twice in a row. Reaching one peak before heading right towards the other; everything feels so sensitive and tender, raw. You’re on the verge of fainting, or on the cusp of crying – you, yourself, don’t even know which one it is at this point.

And in the midst of all of that, his claws dig into your hips. His teeth find home in your neck and taste blood. Fangs dipped in crimson, he goes absolutely berserk as he brands you. His hand is covering the entire side of your face as he forces you to look at him. To really look at him.

“You’re mine,” he says, voice so deep that it turns you breathless. “All mine. No other man will ever be able to have you, d’you get that?”

You’re nodding fervently, looking like a doll; like a stupid fucking bimbo. “Y-Yeah, I-I got it.”

And he’s absolutely feral; possessive. All messy and wild, his dark hair is sticking to his forehead from all the sweat. He’s staring at you so deeply that your soul is branded with the same yellow as his eyes are before he slams his mouth against your own and kisses you like he’ll never get another chance to do so again. 

You can taste the iron on his tongue; cut your own on one of his fangs, and make him all the more hot and bothered as red spills all over his mouth cavity.

He’ll break you like this. The smell and taste of your blood are to blame, no wonder he didn’t say anything.

Your eyes are closed as you kiss, and so are his. You’re both attempting to focus better on the intensifying sensations whilst your tongues twirl around each other and the strings of saliva break and connect. Every time your lips brush, it sparks electricity in your core. He’s literally twitching inside you; all warm and big. And ready. So ready.

“You’re gonna take my knot and make me a daddy, right?” His whisper sends a chill through you as he grabs you and pulls you even closer. Your body is covered in markings of his teeth and claws; you’re going to ache all over in the morning. But it’s worth it when he licks the shell of your ear and hushes, “Gonna keep being a good lil’ mate for me, yeah?”

So this is how he gets when he wants to breed you for real. You can’t believe he’s had the self-control to pull out every single time you’ve had sex for nearly seven months, when he fucks like this. “Yeah,” you answer breathlessly. “Go-Gonna be a good mate, Kiba…! Gonna take your knot.”

Shit, hearing his name during sex is his weak spot. It makes him want to fuck you into the goddamn mattress until there’s nothing left of you to fuck – as if he isn’t doing that already. “Say it again.”

“Gonna take your knot, Ki-... I-I promise!” You’re struggling to breathe properly, holy fuck. “Gonna be a good mate…!”

“Gotta turn you around… Lemme see ‘em heart eyes.” He’s so close. It needs to happen now; his dick is starting to throb and you need to settle into a position that’s more comfortable before it’s too late.

Still, you whine when he pulls out, and you swear that you can feel him getting stuck between your walls for just the briefest moment before that lewd, squelching noise of his dick parting with your pussy sounds out. And then he’s manhandling you into position again; forcing you into something more decent and vanilla with such ease that you’d think he’s mulled this scenario over in his head a million times before.

And then you’re sobbing his name out when he fills you back up in one ruthless swing again and coaxes the third orgasm out of you. As he just stretches you to the brink of pain again and makes you take it with clenched teeth and teary eyes.

“Fuck, fi-fill me up…! Fill me up, please, please, please…”

Your belly is bulging with his dick, and you’re all oxytocin – delicious, mouth-watering oxytocin – as you begin gushing; leaking warm juices of pleasure until your head is lolling back into the pillow and you’re nearly incoherent. 

He’s licking the sweat from your neck, biting on your skin and kissing you sloppily as he just keeps rutting, fucking, screwing. Your pussy is sucking him in no matter how much he bullies it. It’s as if it can’t get enough of him and that big dick of his. Just keeps on demanding that wet, rough pat, pat, pat!

He can nearly feel its fucking heartbeat on his dick.

“Fu-Fuck, baby… God-fucking-damn.” Kiba is stuttering – fucking stuttering as your fingers find his ears and begin to stroke whilst tugging on his hair. As lightning surges through his veins and he sinks into place and just spills everything he’s got the moment you cry out his name. As he gets stuck inside you and the knot is forced into place. 

The fucking knot. He can feel you clenching around it; walls fluttering like the goddamn butterflies in his stomach as he paints them white with his warm seed. It’s better than anything he’s imagined. He’s fucked you so many times before, but taking you while he’s in this form is not just a delight, but a dream come true. He’s the luckiest man to ever walk the face of the earth. Utterly blessed.

Not even a droplet of cum is leaking out of you; you’re fused together that tightly.

It takes you both long moments to compose yourselves. You spend the passing minutes just bathing in the sticky afterglow and listening to each other’s hearts. You’ve never felt closer to each other. As if your very souls have mended and become one, the feeling is inexplicable.

“Oh, my,” you mumble through shallow breaths at some point, scrubbing both hands over your face. You’re simply exhausted, he’s hit you like a tidal wave. Has taken away the ground beneath your feet, leading you to a higher place. You just can’t seem to bring yourself back, no matter how hard you try. Especially because he’s still inside you. And because of the fact that he’s going to stay like that for a long while. “That was–... A lot.”

“I know,” he says, resting his forehead against your shoulder. His ear flutters the moment your sharp exhale brushes it when you chuckle. “Fuck, I’m sorry; I was so rough… I tried not to be, but some part of me just–...” He pauses, looking up at you underneath thick lashes. “I’m sorry, baby, okay? I’ll answer any questions you have now, since we, well… Have the time, hah.”

“It’s okay, we’ll do that in the morning when I can think straight again.” You’re pleasantly surprised at how tender and protective he is over you already. Nearly purring above you whilst drinking up your approval and inhaling your scent, he reminds you more of a kitty than a wolf. “I do have one question, though.”

“Shoot.”

“Is all of this,” you gesture all over him, “the reason why you like doggy so much?”

The stare he gives you in answer is so deadpan that it’s hard not to laugh.

“Whaaat?” Caressing his face, you squish both of his cheeks until his lips purse. “What’re you so grumpy for, huh? T’was just a question…”

He’s fighting back a smile of his own as he says, “I wanna break up.”

“Hah!” You snort, the sound derisive. “Turning me into a single mother already?”

A beat of silence passes between you again as he presses his chin to your chest.

“I really hope it’ll stick.” The competitive glint that appears in his eyes when he looks up at you just screams Kiba now. “I wanna give you a mini-me first try.”

“Oh?” You smile, all naughty-like whilst wiggling your brows. “Whatever happened to the kid inheriting my half of the gene pool as well?”

“Well, if it’s a boy, he can have my good looks and your bad taste in music,” he mumbles, chuckling. “And if it’s a girl, she can be a badass like me, and have your shitty cooking skills.”

“Idiot, shitty cooking skills aren’t even hereditary! And it’s not like you’re Gordon Ramsay, or anything…” You’re laughing now, flicking his ear as punishment. “If we weren’t stuck together, I would have beaten your ass by now.”

“You can try it in about,” he says, checking the alarm clock on your nightstand, “an hour, or so. And just so you know, I’ll fold you. Pregnant or not.”

“Yeah?” The smirk that ghosts over your lips is so pretty that it makes his heart jump. “You gonna bite me all over again?”

“You bet.” He’s kissing you right on the mouth as he whispers, “But only ‘cause I love you so much.”

“You know… It’s a good thing you’re a furry and not something nasty, like a zombie or someth– Ouch!” You flinch when he sinks his teeth into your shoulder as punishment, “Okay, okay; I’m sorry for calling you a furry! I won’t do it anymore, promise!”

Kiba is all eye rolls and exasperated sighs at your endless jabs.

“Call me that shit again, and I’ll bite your nose off.”

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Introductions

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 3,898

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Read on AO3

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Summary: A slow burn Tav and Halsin romance fic about their relationship forming between the major events of Baldur's Gate 3, and probably a little bit after too. Explores Tav's friendships with some of the other companions, but mainly Karlach. Lots of longing and fluff, including plenty of soft Halsin moments.

Tags: Slow burn, hurt/comfort, love confessions, eventual smut, light angst, implied past rape/non-con

A/N: After starting another playthrough specifically to romance Halsin, I decided to write some additional details of how their relationship forms throughout the game. Not sure how many chapters there will be yet...we'll see where the game takes me :) There will be POVs from both Tav and Halsin throughout the fic. Enjoy!

The disgusting sight of the goblin camp was bested only by the smell that assaulted the group’s nostrils as they strolled through the mucked-up halls.

“Ugh, goblins are such vile little beasts. Remind me why we agreed to come here?” Tav could hear the eye roll in Astarion’s tone.

“Because Astarion, there’s a medically talented Archdruid who can maybe help rid us of these tadpoles who is being held and probably tortured by these little beasts.” She tried to keep her voice down but found it hard to stay quiet while keeping up with Astarion’s quips.

“Speak for yourself, my friend. My tadpole and I are getting along swimmingly. I can walk in the sun, wade through rivers, and enter any home I like. I’m living the dream.” He teased back at her.

“All good points. I’ll make sure to remind you of them when your skin is turning purple and sprouting tentacles.” She turned back with a smile just in time to catch Astarion’s playful glare.

“Hey soldier, eyes up. Archers on the beams.” Karlach had her eyes fixed above them on the two goblins patrolling the large chamber.

“Best exercise caution. I might remind you all that goblins come by dozens when one of those war drums sounds off.” Gale was clutching his staff with a white-knuckled grip.

They carefully continued exploring the unfamiliar temple, on the lookout for anything that could give them a clue to Halsin’s whereabouts. Tav had thought the mercenaries and tiefling refugees may have been exaggerating about the goblins. But now that they were here amid their den of depravity, she was starting to doubt the abilities of her party – and herself. The numbers alone were enough to overwhelm them even if Karlach could cleave three goblins at a time.

In one of the far corners, Astarion spotted a small path that wound around into a back room. There was a door guarded by a few goblins, but they were able to pass by them easily while still passing as ‘True Souls.’ The air around them somehow smelled worse as they walked into the next room. The mix of decaying flesh and the worg pens caused them all to gag slightly. Several small laughs and squeals drew their attention towards another prison cell, inside was a very large cave bear. Two young goblins were throwing stones at the bear huddled in the corner of the cage. Tav quickly and quietly cast Speak with Animals just as the bear’s eyes locked on to hers.

“Stop them…free me.” The bear growled. Listening to its voice, Tav noticed the smallest tone difference between this bear and other animals she had spoken to in the past. Given Rath’s description of Halsin, she was almost certain this bear was the Archdruid they had been searching for.

“Again! Again!” One of the young goblins squealed, picking up another rock. Tav jogged up to them.

“He’s helpless! Let him go.” She demanded.

“Tav, what are you doing? We can’t stop to help every furry creature in need.” Astarion didn’t even try to hide his disapproval. She turned around to glare at him and called on their shared tadpole.

“Astarion! Use whatever piece of your brain the tadpole hasn’t eaten yet. This is obviously Halsin from the Emerald Grove.” She held her glare until he seemed to understand their situation. He let out an exaggerated sigh and backed off.

Gale groaned behind her, realizing that they were probably going to be fighting off the several goblins and worgs in the room with them.

“The beast is stayin’ right ‘ere.” The older goblin responded, taking a step towards Tav.

“I’m ending this. Now.” She growled back. The bear let out a small roar in response.

“Time for blood.” Its voice was a low snarl.

Before she had a chance to react, the cave bear rammed into the cell doors, effortlessly breaking them from their hinges. The older goblin was crushed beneath the heavy iron, causing a scream from the two younger ones.

“The guards! Get the guards!” One of the little ones yelled. They both turned to run past Tav and her party.

“Those little brats are going to bring this whole fucking camp down on us!” Astarion yelled, daggers twirling in his hands.

“Then take care of it you whiny prick!” Tav yelled back at him, lunging for the goblin that was looking after the worgs. Karlach followed suit, jumping back up the stairs to swing at a goblin that had been butchering some suspicious looking meat.

“We’re killing children now?!” Gale cried from the top of the stairs. A thin line of ice shot from his hands to the goblin archer approaching them from the rear.

“Goblin children, darling. Hardly a moral dilemma.” Astarion responded, driving his dagger into the chest of the first young goblin.

“Perhaps but still, I think we should discuss –” Gale started to respond but let out a strangled yell that interrupted him. When Tav looked back she saw an arrow sticking out of his neck, and blood was starting to spew from his mouth. Another arrow suddenly struck him in the chest. He made a small choking sound before collapsing to the floor.

“Shit! Gale’s down!” Tav yelled. When she turned away, the goblin she was fighting tried to make a swipe at her but was quickly taken down by the cave bear that had rushed to her side.

“He’s going to have to wait! We can’t risk these little monsters alerting the rest of the camp.” Astarion was slicing his blade across the throat of the other young goblin.

Tav drew her bow and shot two arrows into the worg pens, easily landing the shots right between their eyes. She could hear Gale’s labored breaths, the sound was warped by the blood spilling into his throat. Karlach took her goblin out with one more clean swing of her axe and turned to the archer.

“I’ll get Gale, take that archer down!” Tav yelled. The others all moved in to surround the last goblin as Tav dashed over to him. She quickly looked him over, ready to remove the arrow in his neck so she could heal him. Before she could start the spell, she heard one last raspy gurgle come from Gale before his body went limp.

“Fuck.” Tav whispered under her breath. She pulled her pack to the front of her waist and started frantically searching through it. They had found a couple of revivification scrolls on their journey that she was certain she had stored in her pack somewhere. Just as she started to search through the pockets, the air around her became thick with the smell of death.

“What the…” She started to exclaim before she became horribly sick, necrotic energy swirled all around her. Startled and struggling to breathe, she jumped back a few feet away from Gale’s body, allowing her to cough the toxic air from her lungs.

The last goblin’s body fell to the floor with a soft thud. Karlach and Astarion walked back down to join Tav, examining Gale and the small cloud of death encircling his lifeless body.

“Terribly tragic, always a sad day when you lose a friend. Oh well, best we keep moving before these goblins catch wind of our little fight.” Astarion said, waving his hand in the air nonchalantly and starting to walk away.

“Astarion…” Tav grumbled and turned to shoot him a warning glare. He smiled sweetly in response.

Before they could say anything else, an illusion of Gale popped up in front of Tav, causing a small scream to escape her lips.

“Well met! I am a magical projection of Gale of Waterdeep, and if you see this manifestation, that means I have prematurely perished.”

“Oh for fucks’ sake Gale…” Tav pressed one hand to her forehead, already exasperated by Gale’s afterlife theatrics.

“…it is of vital importance that my death be remedied at your earliest convenience.”

“How am I supposed to bring you back then?” Tav asked, annoyed.

The three of them sat and listened to Gale’s projection list a very detailed description of his security protocol to receive a scroll of true resurrection. First, they had to retrieve a small pouch from his robes which Astarion deftly picked from his pocket. To open the pouch, they had to unwind the purple cord in a counterclockwise motion. Inside, they found a small flute and a folded letter with notes in the corners that they would have to play. Next, a magma mephit was supposed to appear and pose the question ‘I’ss k’cha t’chiss n’aga’ to which the answer should be K’ha’ssji’trach’ash. The mephit would then give them the scroll.

“Well shit.” Tav muttered. “Does anyone know how to play a flute?”

Karlach and Astarion shrugged in response, the panic they felt evident on their faces.

“I at least caught the mephit name!” Karlach offered.

“Gods above, Gale!” Tav yelled. “What are the chances that whoever you’re dying around knows how to play a fucking flute?!” She waved the small instrument in front of the projection’s face, whose expression didn’t change. While she continued berating the magical illusion in front of her, she failed to hear the magical whoosh behind her.

“…and even if we do figure this out, it won’t matter! Because I’m going to punch you so hard that I send you in to the beyond again! And then I’ll revive you, just to choke the life out of you so we get to do this shitshow all over again!” Tav was stomping and screaming at the projection now. She noticed Karlach and Astarion staring past her, bewildered looks on both of their faces. Was Astarion…blushing?

“Excuse me,” A deep voice called out from behind her, “perhaps I could be of some assistance? It’s the least I could do.” She could only assume it belonged to Halsin.

 “Look, I know we came here to free you and all and yes, we will need your help but right now our melodramatic friend has…” She had whipped around ready to tear into the mysterious addition to their group, but her breath caught once she was able to fully look at the Archdruid.

Tav wasn’t sure what she had been expecting to see when they met Halsin, but it certainly wasn’t the large, handsome elf standing in front of her. She was rather large for an elf, but Halsin made her feel tiny. Her mouth was hanging open, unable to form words as she stared him down. His smile was enchanting, his tanned skin covered in blood from their fight.

“I owe you my thanks, I am the druid Halsin. I did not expect to meet the acquaintance of someone who would not only speak with a bear, but free it too. I’m always happy to meet another true friend of nature. And you are?”

“I’m…” Tav sputtered, “…single.” Her voice was barely a whisper. She shook her head to regain some semblance of composure. She could hear Astarion giggling like a child behind her.

“Tav…my name is Tav.” She finally blurted out.

“Oakfather preserve you, Tav. Now I’d be happy to…”

Halsin was speaking but she wasn’t really listening to his words. She saw that he was holding his hand out to her. Without thinking, she placed her hand in his and gave a soft handshake, interrupting him. He gave her a confused look, still smiling.

“As I was saying, I know how to play the flute if that would help to resurrect your friend.” He was still smiling at her.

Tav’s face and chest turned a deep red and she yanked her hand back quickly. Astarion burst out laughing behind her, almost falling over. Karlach at least had the decency to try and cover her laugh. She handed over the small flute and quickly unfolded the paper, holding it in front of her face to try and hide her blush.

“Okay so his instructions said to play the notes listed in the corners of the pages, starting in the bottom right, and working our way around the page clockwise. I’ll read them off to you. Ready?” She asked, peeking over the page at Halsin. He gave a small nod, flute held up to his lips.

“D…” The first note floated through the air.

“E…” Halsin switched gracefully to the next note.

“A…” Another note rang in across the room. Tav paused before reading the last note, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

“…D…” The last note echoed off the walls slightly mixing with the groans of her companions. Of course his resurrection tune spelled out ‘dead.’

A small magma mephit appeared in front of them.

“I’ss k’cha t’chiss n’aga.” He asked.

“K’ha’ssji’trach’ash!” Karlach responded, excited to help.

“D’a jah’jah s’um!” The mephit leaned forward as Tav held the folded paper in front of her. The small note transformed into an ornate scroll. She turned back to Gale as the mephit vanished.

Tav read the incantation and felt a warm swirling energy gather around her. It was quickly transferred to Gale who disappeared momentarily. He reappeared in front of her, standing and gasping for air. His hands shot up to his neck, feeling the area where the arrow had pierced him. Then he started laughing.

“You did it! Oh it feels good to be alive. I’m sorry to say my hands are still quite cold, so a handshake will have –” Gale was interrupted by Tav punching him in the gut, letting out a loud grunt.

“That was for your ridiculous protocol. What if we couldn’t find someone who could have played the flute? What if you had died and we weren’t around? We need to do something about that orb, Gale.” Tav was yelling again, she wasn’t truly angry with him though. She had come to like Gale, seeing him dead had upset her more than she cared to admit.

“You know the volatility of my condition, Tav. The element of mystery helps persuade others to keep me amongst the living. Sore abdominals aside…I sincerely thank you.” He wheezed back.

“You’re welcome,” Tav sighed, “and welcome back.” She nudged his arm slightly.

“Thank you for your help.” Tav looked back over to Halsin. “I suppose proper introductions are in order.” She wanted to put her embarrassing display from earlier behind her.

“This is Gale, that’s Karlach back there, and Astarion standing next to her.” She pointed to each of her companions as she introduced them. Karlach waved enthusiastically, Gale was still bent over catching his breath, and Astarion wiggled his fingers seductively in their direction.

“A pleasure, truly. Might I ask how you found me?” Halsin looked between the four of them.

“We’ve been to the Emerald Grove, it’s in danger.” Tav responded. She quickly filled Halsin in on their adventure so far. Kagha’s alliance with the Shadow Druids, the cult of the Absolute, the mercenaries that had escaped from the goblins. She paused, trying to decide if she should tell him about the tadpoles yet. Before she could continue, Halsin held a hand out in front of her.

“That look in your eyes…” He said quietly. A golden glow surrounded her as Halsin closed his eyes in concentration.

“Oakfather preserve you child, you’re infected, aren’t you?” He jerked his hand back to his side. Tav placed a hand on her sword, prepared for a fight. Halsin held his hands up innocently.

“It’s no coincidence that you found me, I wager. I’ve been studying these tadpoles. They’re different from how mind flayers typically procreate.”

Halsin launched into a summary of his research surrounding the tadpoles. Of course, there wasn’t going to be a simple cure for their affliction. He confirmed that their tadpoles were special, altered, just as they suspected. He was also able to give them their next destination, Moonrise Towers. She froze at the mention of Moonrise. It was their first solid lead since the nautiloid crashed, but the news filled Tav with dread. She knew all too well the evil that besieged that land. Without thinking, she stepped close to Halsin, leaning in so only he could hear her. She reached up and grabbed his arm, trying to keep her balance.

“You’re sure that’s where we need to go?” She asked quietly, in Elvish. “That is no easy task.”

His expression softened and he gave her a knowing look in response.

“You know of this place?” He lowered his voice to match hers, as smooth as his voice was before, it was nothing compared to hearing him speak their native tongue.

“Unfortunately, yes. I would not go back there unless I had no other choice.” Tav’s hand was starting to shake slightly against his arm, but he placed his other hand over hers to steady it. His hands were lightly calloused but warm and comforting. She felt the blushing feeling returning to her face.

“It will be dangerous, but it can be done. And perhaps, we can see the light there again.” He whispered back. His voice was hopeful, but his face was a mask of pain.

We? Before she could respond, she heard Astarion clear his throat loudly.

“Care to include us in your little whispers, darlings?” He practically sang the words.

Tav quickly let go of Halsin but noticed his hand lingered on hers for just a fraction of a second longer.

“Don’t be jealous, love. There’s enough of me to go around.” She composed herself and flashed a teasing grin at him.

“Thank you, Halsin. At least we know where to go now.” Tav turned back to face him.

“Wait,” He called after her, “I could accompany you if you’ll have me. I’ve long sought to return to Moonrise.”

“Great!” Tav said a little too quickly. “We just have to find a way to sneak through this camp and we can get you back to the Emerald Grove. Could you shift into something small so we can sneak you out? Like a mouse or a bird?”

“I cannot do that.” Halsin said, his voice lower than before.

“So much for a powerful Archdruid.” Astarion murmured. Halsin pursed his lips.

“I cannot allow these butchers to continue to threaten the Grove. I have no right to ask it of you, but if you would lend me your aid in removing the goblins’ leadership, I would be free to join you on your journey.”

Tav considered his offer for a moment. They were a capable group of fighters, but there was an alarming number of goblins between them and the three leaders. Even with Halsin, she wasn’t sure if they could fight their way out. Then she thought back to the refugees, the tieflings sheltered in the Grove. Even if they could sneak past the entire camp, Zevlor and his kin would never be able to survive on the road. Halsin was right, they needed to take out the leaders.

“Having a shapeshifting bear-druid at my side might make things easier.” She smiled at him and held out her hand. “Welcome to the team.”

He smiled back at her and clasped her forearm, once again lingering just a little longer than she would have expected.

***

Halsin let go of Tav’s arm and took a moment to catch his breath. He had been in his bear form for days now, standing on two legs made him feel a little uneasy at the moment. The four strange adventurers in front of him had huddled close together, plotting their plan of attack on the goblin leaders.

His eyes wandered to Tav, who seemed to be their leader. A picture of elven beauty in his humble opinion. Her long white-blonde hair was tied back in a braid that was currently slung over one of her shoulders, several strands had worked their way out of the confines of the braid and swirled around her head. The long scar that ran over her nose and right cheek looked like it had been caused by a claw of some kind based on the shape of the edges. She had a rugged look to her, like she had been in the wilds long before she was abducted by mind flayers. But something was off. He listened as she strung together a plan with her companions, effortlessly doling out assignments and orders, commanding their attention despite their tired state. There was a noble air about her, but he hardly knew of any nobles who would prefer stomping around in the wilderness over the comforts of their estates.

Seeing her now, it was hard to believe their initial awkward encounter had happened. She seemed so confident and sure of herself talking with her companions. He wasn’t a stranger to others being caught off guard by his appearance. Given her own beauty he was surprised that she would have any trouble forming words of flattery. She seemed witty enough and happy to flirt back at the pale elf in her company. He would have assumed she had suitors lined up from here to Neverwinter, so why would he elicit such a flustered response from her? Regardless, he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a slight pull in his chest looking at her. It had been quite some time since anyone looked at him with any kind of desire in their eyes. As for her awkward fumbling, he found it rather endearing. He pushed the thoughts away for now, he couldn’t allow himself to be distracted, not when he finally had a chance to correct so many of the mistakes from his past.

At some point while he was lost in his thoughts, Tav had summoned a large wolf to her side. The beast paced around her protectively, the smells in this wretched hideout were no doubt overwhelming to it. Halsin met its eyes, causing the wolf to freeze. He kept calm, careful not to startle it. Making a small lap around the others, it walked over to stand in front of him, still crouched in a protective stance.

“Lunari! Here girl!” Tav shouted.

Halsin carefully lowered his eyes, continuing to stand still. The wolf tentatively circled around him, sniffing around his legs. Seeming satisfied, she moved back over towards Tav and plopped down on her haunches in front of her, tail wagging slightly. Such a loyal creature, he thought to himself. Tav was absentmindedly scratching Lunari’s ears, causing her to lean against her legs and wag her tail faster. A friend of nature indeed.

Halsin thought back to Tav’s reaction to Moonrise. She had to know of the curse. When he looked into her eyes, he saw the same fear that had haunted his reflection for the last century. There were so few still alive who knew of that tragedy, let alone who had lived it. Now, it seemed that he may have found another who shared that burden.

“Okay, I think this gives us as good a chance as anything.” Tav’s voice rang through the room. “Anything to add?” Astarion’s hand shot up in the air, but Tav gave him a look that caused him to lower it again. She took a deep breath and motioned for them to head for the door. Halsin took the cue to wildshape back into his bear form. He padded up behind Tav, braced and ready to follow her into battle.

[inspector-montoya-fox]

You know sometimes i like using my tumblr as like a brain rot bank? Like a time capsule for thoughts and opinion that cater to no one but everyone is welcome to enjoy and partake. And today i'll be doing just that because i have finally finished The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles. If you've been following me for a while you know that this is lowkey monumental because (a) it means that i have officially played all Ace Attorney games, and (b) i have been struggling to finish these two games since their bundled release three years ago. So, i just wanted to share some general thoughts, some tier lists, and feel free to let me know what you think if you read what i have to say!

Ok so, my main takeaway from playing the two games is that... Dr Courtney Sithe is a bad bitch deserving of the same praise as Franziska, Lana Skye, Justine Courtney, Dee Vasquez and Calisto Yew. I genuinely love her so much. Miss Buttplug Hair got her PhD in being a girlboss and i'm so upset she was only in one case. For such a cool character with an amazing design, she was criminally underdeveloped. Same goes for my other fav, Rei Membani. Soon as it was mentioned that Professor Mikotoba and Judge Jigoku were on their way to the UK, i was one hundred percent sure she'd accompany them, and i was ultimately disappointed. To have her right next to Susato on the game's cover art and give her such an amazing takedown of Raiten Menimemo... and then just not have her be anywhere else was such a shame. I need more Dr Sithe and Rei !

The rest of the games' characters were a bit of a mixed bag with some obvious (and some unexpected) stand-outs. Here's my tier list:

Notes:

The biggest surprise that came when i was making this is how high i placed Herlock. I started off hating him so much and then he just suddenly grew on me so quickly, i hadn't even noticed. One of my favourites for sure.

I think we can all collectively agree that we have, at some point in our lives, embodied Pop Windibank... poor guy...

I don't know what Kazuma's deal is. He starts off as Ryunosuke's Mia Fey before um... just becoming a jerk? Why does he have beef with his best friend who was literally mourning him for almost a year? Can't lie though, the bitch looks hot in his white uniform.

Some of the jurors made a bigger impression than actual characters/ witnesses, just by having cool designs. Mainly the green lady, who rightfully earned her spot in the third tier after i found out she's supposed to be a reincarnation of the teacher from PLvsPW !

Eggert Benedict or whatever the fuck that rich breakdancing asshole is called, cannot be a final villain i'm sorry. Seriously, what were they thinking?

The two redheads are such a shameless rip-off of the Skulkins. Two ruffians taking the witness stand for the game's climax AGAIN !? And during the credits, they pose in their prison cell with "Gossip" in the middle the exact same way Eggert and the Skulkins did in the credits of Adventures, like no thank you.

I love how my overall bottom 3 are an annoying str*ight couple and a child.

If Stronghart wasn't in the second (very coveted) tier, he'd be in the bottom of 'like !' because he was ok. It's blatantly obvious he's the big bad from the second he's introduced but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Also, i need him and Damon Gant to have a fat titty bounce-off.

Moving on to criticisms, i can't help but feel like the fact that Shu Takumi decided to split his original script into two games only served to hurt the entire project. Because, for starters, each game has a different feel and the two don't match. Adventures is reminiscent of PLvsPW, Takumi's whimsical and eccentric love letter to the UK that hinges heavily on exposition. Resolve, on the other hand, is a bit of a mix between its predecessor and traditional Ace Attorney, its cases focusing more on driving the narrative to its conclusion rather than experimenting on the classic formula (as with the first game). It also echoes aspects of the first Investigations, bringing in diplomatic immunity, international relations, "tracking down and going against the head of the evil organisation" (the Reaper storyline is very similar to the Yatagarasu one). Personally the two vibes don't mesh, even when Resolve tries to latch onto Adventures with Memoirs of the Clouded Kokoro, for example.

Then, the pacing in both games is all over the place. Adventures is just so unreasonably and unashamedly long-winded and slow, it's the reason it took me literally three years to get into it. The game repeats the same lines of dialogue again and again until they're made painfully clear, subsequently making the player (or at least me) feel like an idiot who needs to read the same thing 13 times in order to get it. This, coupled with the fact that actual gameplay was almost nowhere to be seen and that progression in the courtroom almost always relied on not pointing out inconsistencies but pressing the witnesses adjacent to the one testifying, made the game such a slog to get through. And once the game started to pick up, it was over before i even knew it and in a very unceremonious fashion no less. In comparison, Resolve is very streamlined, albeit a bit too fast-paced. With the exception of Memoirs, which felt like shameless filler, it's clear that they wanted to waste zero time and crammed so much stuff into the episodes, to the point where it became difficult to keep track of everything going on. Because, keep in mind, the second game was tasked with tying up all the loose threads from the first one.

This leads to my final criticism regarding the split: inconsistencies and unresolved mysteries. I think it reads as careless writing when questions keep sprouting everywhere and their answers are reserved for the final two episodes of the second game. Even Unspeakable, a final case, introduces mysteries tied to the overarching narrative just for them to be shelved until Twisted Karma, leaving the player with a sense of dissatisfaction when the game ends. Not only is it frustrating to keep track of all the unsolved mysteries, a chore which good writing would not expect from the player, but it also has you questioning whether or not some of them will get answered at all. Why was the selection of jurors obviously rigged? Why did Van Zieks stop appearing in court five years prior? Where did he lose his gun in Twisted Karma? Why didn't Stronghart assassinate Madame Tusspells as well? Why is Kazuma fully exonerated after admitting to his involvement in the assassin exchange? I grouped the unresolved mysteries with inconsistencies as one problem because the latter is a result of the former. The majority of mysteries spills over from the first game to the second, giving way to different phrasing, details getting glossed over and the plot's consequences getting ignored. There's a very apparent shift in Gregson's character, for example, going from uncooperative and rigid in Adventures to more forgiving and helpful in Resolve, all the while his misconduct from Unspeakable is seemingly forgotten and met with zero ramifications. There's also the government's secret message about the assassin exchange Herlock deciphered at the end of the first game, which sets up the second game nicely but then doesn't get mentioned until the very last day in court. Like, come on now. It feels like Resolve continues Adventures' story without wanting to acknowledge it because, in the grand scheme of things, McGilded and Eggert Benedict seem to not matter at all. And then there's Memoirs, which... Inconsistency City, honestly. This episode's lack of impact on the overall story allowed it to be literally anything else. It's such a bizarre choice to have it be something which only achieves in taking away from the first Clouded Kokoro case! Like ok, i can get behind it being a case no one wanted to talk about so it didn't make the first game. I can turn a blind eye to the inconsistent character development and timeline, whatever. But it absolutely drives me nuts that, for an Ace Attorney game where the murders are explained in full detail, they couldn't stay consistent with the direction Olive Green was walking in. Hate. Loathe. Get it away from me.

That pretty much covers it in terms of complaints, because otherwise i enjoyed my playthrough quite a bit actually. I know i've just spent like 3 mega-sized paragraphs complaining but the games have great elements as well. The Deduction dances are easily the best thing about the gameplay, especially when you didn't see them coming. They were so much fun to play, very animated and cartoony with amazing banter, and effortlessly accelerated the investigation segments. Equally, i loved Judicial Findings. Undoubtedly my favourite part of the courtroom sections and a welcome change of pace. I tended to stall a lot because the jury's music fucks so hard. While on the topic of what i liked, Ryunosuke and Susato's chemistry rivals what Phoenix and Maya have going on. Susato leaving at the end of Adventures was a genuinely effective point in the plot, even though i knew she'd be back.

Now, let's take a closer look at the episodes. Here's my overall tier list of all Ace Attorney cases, the Great Ace Attorney ones being highlighted in yellow:

Notes:

Blossoming Attorney gobbled the rest of the girls right up (a court-only episode, no less). They gave us Susato gameplay, what more can you ask for? An amazing case. Gay Women in STEM !!

Return kinda strikes a nice balance between the different feels of the two games i mentioned before. You've got exposition and world-building with the whole Great Exhibition, turn of the century mad science thing, but also classic Ace Attorney with tracking down Drebber (very Matt Engarde's apartment) and Madame Tusspells as just some witness (very Lisa Basil). A very fun case right before the clusterfuck of mysteries ensues. Also, Dr Courtney Sithe !!!!! Girl you're such a star and you don't even know it spit in my mouth

Was tempted to put Unspeakable in the second tier but i think it's earned its high placement on its own merit and not because of personal bias. It's a great case. Maybe not for a final one, but it's still great. It tries its hardest to tie up some loose ends before the game ends and that's worth something.

Resolve of Ryunosuke is objectively better than Twisted because i could not give less of a fuck about the purple guy's headache and Espella Cantabella selling firecrackers, but they're both very much one single package. Extra points to Resolve of Ryunosuke though for having its villain sit at the judge's seat. That was neat.

The two Clouded Kokoros are giving stinky Bri ish culture with the whole apartment building background, like Ribena, bad teeth, rusty Union Jack, horseshit breath at the pub, you awrite luv? Slander, i'm sorry.

Slightly unrelated but when i was making this tier list it became so obvious that Investigations 2 is the crown jewel of the franchise. Like it has two cases in the top 5, how can you even argue against that?

Arriving to a conclusion, i'd say both games belong on the same level as Apollo Justice: a blend of good and bad. My experience playing the Ace Attorney franchise has followed this trend of attaching each game to a pivotal moment in my life. I finished the first game while i was still a soldier, Justice for All during my first year at university, Dual Destinies during Covid lockdown, Investigations while helping my parents set up their shop one summer. So i know i'll look back at playing The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles right after handing my dissertation very fondly. In other words, despite not quite sticking the landing, it's left a very pleasant aftertaste. Thank you for reading!

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Twenty questions for fic writers

Thank you @homicidal-slvt for the tag. Tagging @ceilidho @peachesofteal @neoarchipelago @tinypandacakes & @gremlingottoosilly (no pressure folks!)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

15. Yikes.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

361,563. Double yikes!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Call of Duty only... I think I might be mentally ill

4. Top five by kudos.

DOG, Just Friends, Man-sized, Refugee, Fatum Nos Iungebit

5. Do you respond to comments?

I used to but I've been so bad at it lately that I decided that if I can't get to every single one I shouldn't reply to anyone at all T.T But I see them all and cherish them dearly!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Just friends for sure

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think it's a tie between Christian Woman and Love is a Heavy Weapon :)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I used to get hate for tagging all of my fics in x reader as a default when some of them included a more fleshed out OC. Understandable perhaps!

9. Do you write smut?

Honey it's all I write these days

10. Craziest crossover.

I'm a purist and don't do crossovers :/

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I sure hope not!!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Hope not (meaning if the fic also gets shared without permission)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and honestly I don't know how this even works :') But I like the idea!

14. All time favorite ship?

Maybeeee Loki x Jane Foster. Gosh, I don't know. I mainly write/read reader inserts these days

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Gromsko thingy I said I'd write this time last year

16. What are your writing strengths?

Inner dialogue. Subtle details when it comes to historical/mythical au's. I'm pretty good at conveying yearning and other strong emotions, perhaps?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Eloquent prose & poetry. I can do it once in a blue moon but not constantly, it somehow destroys my brain cells & saps me of my creative energy

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

If only I could speak German fluently...

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Mortal Kombat... my cringeworthy beloved 💖

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Maybe Fatum. It has Romans, slow burn and König in it 🥰

[metvmorqhoses]

Although I wasn’t expecting a completely faithful adaptation, since it is just that—an adaptation. I was expecting at least a coherent narrative that followed what season 1 gave us. Even though s1 diverged from the books particularly in terms of characterization it wasn’t something I was upset about since Ben and Jesse’s versions still had substance and incredible chemistry. This season hurt because the bad writing had Ben doing his best to salvage Darkling in his acting choices alone, all while Jesse’s Alina was completely stripped of nuance. It was such a strange choice the way the writers handled their relationship since bad writing aside, their scenes were still intriguing just based off their on screen chemistry alone. Which is why it was such a disappointment that instead of utilizing that, along with book canon to create a complex and enthralling mutual connection we instead got…this lol A big thing was always how despite their fundamental differences, they understood each other. I could see Ben’s Darkling trying to emphasize that part but when you have Alina absolutely not having it, it just comes off as pathetic on his part, which is what the writers wanted I suppose. I would say the ending is hopeful that this isn’t the end for them and a way for Alina to bring Darkling back but if the writing is anything like this season then that might just be wishful thinking.

Not being fond of the books, I didn't particularly care about plot faithfulness either. The real, terrible problem is that the dynamics and the characters' être weren't respected in the slightest, everything meaningful stripped of nuance and complexity for no apparent reason if not a huge dumb woke flex.

The crux of this disaster resides in the fact the writers seem to have completely forgotten (and I too was absolutely astonished by this, because in season one it absolutely wasn't the case) that actual human beings don't feel in black and white and half a dimension, at least not the ones without psychopathologies? And I swear that everyone but the Darkling and maybe one or two Crows this season acted like unfeeling robots or caricatures of themselves with a plot task to complete.

You know, as not fond of the concept as I am (since I don't really think the Darkling to be the villain of the story or so guilty of everything he is angrily accused of by the supposed "heroes"), they could have totally pulled off the darkest and most twisted interpretation of him imaginable and still respect his character and dynamic with Alina, since love, core understanding, admiration, hatred, violation and betrayal are not mutually exclusive and can actually be felt at the same time.

One splendid example of it is The Great. I don't know if you are familiar with the show, but it is the epitome of enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers and the things the two protagonists do to each other are way worse than anything the Darkling has ever done to Alina, but the deep connection between them is never denied, cannot be denied, no matter the terrible actions they inflict upon each other.

Alina could have been convinced the Darkling didn't deserve to live (no matter how fairly or unfairly), she could have decided to kill him and still recognize their unique connection, the nameless thing she feels, the deep affinities they share, maybe even be scared of it all, maybe even wishing none of it was there, but without outright denying what they fed us for the entirety of season one just out of a minor deception, appearing nothing but a petulant, close-minded child. Not only this made Aleksander appear as a delusional, desperate, weak stalker, but it made Alina honestly appear a dumb idiot without a single brain cell, if not an outright psychopath.

Not feeling any form of emotion or compassion for someone you had romantic feelings for (feelings she was even forgetting her great love Mal for, just saying) just ten minutes prior is not badass behaviour, is just not normal. Hell, not showing any emotion or compassion for a human being who is trying to show you an abyss of sorrow (that you are destined to share by the way) is not normal, not even in terms of old-fashioned villain/hero dynamics. Usually the hero is the one to have pity for the villain, the one with the moral high ground. Here not only this isn't the case when the two are balances of each other, connected cosmically and previous lovers, but basic human decency is also completely dismissed and Aleksander is the only one to show any.

I am as astonished as you by all this. I hope this whole season was in truth Alina's slow descent into madness, her power corrupting her from the start. I hope this is the reason they chose to feed us this soulless drivel, it's honestly the only way they could redeem the series at all, but who knows at this point.

[quinloki]

…… it is consuming all of my brain function I barely have brain cells to rub together for ANYTHING ELSE RN IM SO SORRY ITS SO LONG

Marco and Sabo who aren't actually from conflicting organizations, they're from organizations that are partnered (whitebeard/revolutionaries) but they have this weird rivalry (mostly on Sabo's side tbh) bc Ace and Sabo grew up together but Ace didn't join the same organization bc Sabo disappeared similar to canon but they were reunited at some point and ace yapped his ear off about his partner marco

anyways the organizations both have someone in their eye (reader) and decide to work together to obtain the asset. however ace is trash at undercover work so they send sabo and marco together instead

reader works for croc maybe doing something similar to what robin used to do and kinda similar vibes to nami in a sense of owing croc a bunch of money they occasionally prowl the casino floor looking for dudes to 'rip off' to help pay the debt down

and oh look it's a pair of brothers talking about how their dad left them a bunch of money and they've never done this before time to get them drunk and clean them out ofc they'll only act drunk and you offer to escort them up to their room safely

then bam drugged and you're out cold and stuffed in a suitcase and they're out of there (but being followed oh nooo) and you wake up in a totally different hotel room and you try to fight them but trained spies so you basically just end up pinned like we're ready to make you a better deal than crocodile just calm down and you're like ???? wait you're not here to use me against crocodile??? i'm down I was only working for him bc I owed him money and his new business partner (doffy) gives me the creeps so what can you offer

and sabo is like what is this stockholm syndrome already and marco just shakes his head and sighs and they basically outline what the organizations are looking for/offer which is like 10x better than working for crocodile so you accept but oop yall are still being followed so spy shenandigans and little scuffles follow and you travel a lot trying to get back to their base

and it puts you all in very close proximity for some time often sharing hotel rooms and then one time the only room available is one bed and ofc then comes the bickering of who will sleep where with the guys planning on the floor and it's like come on we're all adults here it'll be fine (famous last words) and ofc yall wake up snuggled together and sabo is interally like wtfff that's the best I've slept probably ever

and yall have all been practically attached at the hip for safety so everyone is pent up and they both get some morning wood and its like this is wrong yall are brothers and they're like we're not real brothers?? and then you're like oh. well then.

fun times ensue and after it's a bit awkward like well what do we do now but then bam croc's men catch up so it's run away and not think about that time and there's a few more stops between then and getting back to safety and a few more fun times and then yall are seperated when you get back and it's like aw it's over but they start sneaking in to see you and it's like welp I guess this is a thing

and you see them together and seperate and while they see eachother in your company they see very little of eachother outside of it bc they're dealing with eachother for you except marco is very good at putting sabo under him and riling him up and it's always so hot to watch especially when marco orders sabo to do specific things to you

and yall have fun like that for awhile and then ofc there's some drama like maybe croc's men finally sneak in and snatch you up but you're like a beloved member of both organizations so they'll go to war for you and snatch you back and the boys are so happy to have you back they spend days showing you just how much

anyways brain is empty rn imma go to bed and maybe think about more or just more specific sexy times so sorry for the brain dump love you lots hope you enjoyed <3333

Okay - no but that was an awesome ride \o/

You’re in bad with Crocodile, and Doffy wants to “help”, but gods the strings attached to that offer are so bad you’d rather sleep with Croc honestly, but that’s not happening because your relationship with him is exceptionally negative in this story. (I imagine to the point of his cigars making you rankle.)

In come easy marks Sabo and Marco, and oh it’s fun and flirting as you ply these men with drinks and compliments. They even give you small gifts in exchange, tips whether they win big or not. The flirting becoming more heated as the drinks continue in.

Neither is really affected. Sabo’s tolerance is legendary, and Marco can’t even get drunk because of the Phoenix. At least not drinking so little. (He’d slammed a gallon or two once in frustration and had managed to feel drunk for minute or two.

Once the facade is dropped and things are explained (helluva hook you have there, Sabo admits, having taken a wild swing to the jaw), your on board. But you have concerns - your bullshit debt aside, you’re an asset to Croc, he doesn’t let go of assets.

Worry not, their bases are in the New World, and Croc’s connections are in Paradise. It’s going to be a long trip - island hopping down the grand line to reach the Red Line and safety. Weeks and months of staying under the radar and keeping close.

You’re the one to admit you don’t mind some stress relief as long as it doesn’t get weird. They’re brothers - oh wait they aren’t - okay but you’ll be coworkers of a sort, no mixing business and pleasure. We’re all adults here.

Your only concern is that these orgasms aren’t going to be outdone because it’s criminal how well these two work your body. You make it to the Red Line - feelings are caught, you’re caught, war breaks out.

Confessions and concessions as you drown in your two sweet blonde boys, never to be worried about anyone or anything no matter how dangerous it gets.

I love it - it’s a very action packed take on the ideas for Outnumbered, and I love the emotions tied to reader getting kidnapped/saved.

[divine-knight-hand]

My Paracosm's Tumblr Dashboard Simulator!!! ❤️‍🔥

Except none of you know my paras, nor am I going to give any context for these. *womp womp*

But, I basically saw this post and decided “Hey, lemme do that!” and then I did that.

Also, a good portion of my paras are primparas, but my fictparas will be glaringly obvious, so, yeah. If you know them, you know them. 🤷‍♀️

I spent way too long on this, lmao... Welp, enjoy! 😌

TW: some humor involving brief mentions of suicide, death, and doxxing

🔥 not-ember-blade Follow

Remind me again why our boss is asking us to make these social media accounts? Isn’t our whole thing, I dunno, subtlety?

💧 sweetest-otaku Follow

Well, with a user like that, I don’t think you’re doing very good at that, anyways… 😬

🔥 not-ember-blade Follow

Let’s not hash out the technical stuff 😅

(1,258 notes)

❤️ a-random-fan Follow

Anyone else ever think about how not-ember-blade and sweetest-otaku were born to contradict each other? Like, how do sisters with conflicting powers learn to not only co-exist, but thrive while working together? Especially when everyone expects them to tear each other apart? Truly, it’s wonderful to see…

🔥 not-ember-blade Follow

Dude, what the fuck? We’ve been past that. Find a new philosophy, Socrates- 💀

#and to everyone who still thinks me and my sister are gonna duke it out #stfu

(947 notes)

🐺 alpha-machine Follow

So, not-ember-blade… What’s the status on that date? 😏

🔥 not-ember-blade Follow

My sister had to physically restrain me from typing “kys” before lecturing me on the importance of a “respectful no”.

💧 sweetest-otaku Follow

Well, it almost worked… 😅

#also please rethink the wording of your tags #I’m not even going to repost them #they’re really vulgar…

(236 notes)

💍 iron-wife Follow

mischief-incarnate, you didn’t happen to put itching powder in alpha-machine’s closet after his latest post, did you???

🐍 mischief-incarnate Follow

Do I look like I’m only capable of mere party tricks to you? Of course not! That foul mutt has magic to thank for any discomfort he may be experiencing. Magic woven into each and every thread, in fact~

🔥 not-ember-blade Follow

Every day, I fall more and more in love with you 😩

#marriage when?

(2,479 notes)

🪞 mirror-mirror Follow

Crippling anxiety? I barely know her! (Lying)

💄 hopeless-hottie Follow

What does this mean?

💄 hopeless-hottie Follow

Hello?

💄 hopeless-hottie Follow

HELLO?!

#can someone go check if she’s okay? #I’m starting to get concerned…

(174 notes)

🔥 not-ember-blade Follow

Can y’all stop asking me if arachni-kid is my son? It’s not even true, and his aunt is starting to ask questions…

💧 sweetest-otaku Follow

One time, I saw you make him a Hot Pocket, kiss him on the forehead, and wish him luck on a test he was studying for.

🕷️ arachni-kid Follow

A test I passed, by the way! I forgot to tell you. 😅

🔥 not-ember-blade Follow

Awwwww! I knew you could do it, kiddo! I’m so proud of you! 🥹

(1,892 notes)

💄 hopelessness-hottie Follow

Look, not-ember-blade! It’s you!

🔥 not-ember-blade Follow

I’m… pi?

🔦 endangered-observer Follow

Maybe she’s saying you are what you eat? 😅

🐍 mischief-incarnate Follow

I’ve not once seen her consume this mathematical notation…

💧 sweetest-otaku Follow

You summoned all three of them and they still didn’t get it 😭

🪞 mirror-mirror Follow

That’s because they all share one brain cell 🤣

(2,437 notes)

🧹 friendly-maiden Follow

As much as I enjoy serving the new queen and princess, can I have not-ember-blade and sweet-otaku back? Please?

💧 sweetest-otaku Follow

Awww! We miss you, too! 🥺

#Please come visit sometime #okay?

(173 notes)

🪞 mirror-mirror Follow

Everyone talking about possibly making a poll to decide who the best sister is between not-ember-blade and sweetest-otaku clearly wasn’t here for the violent discourse that one poll between mischief-incarnate and thunderous-hero, and it shows… 👀

💧 sweetest-otaku Follow

Didn’t mischief-incarnate dox someone for telling people to vote against him?

🔥 not-ember-blade Follow

No, no… That was me… 😶

#but can you blame me? #the bitch had it coming #spreading that harmful propaganda

(2,347 notes)

🍳 wary-chef Follow

Just saw someone cooking without measuring their ingredients. They should lose their cooking priviliges.

🔥 not-ember-blade Follow

You rn:

💧 sweetest-otaku Follow

I was gonna tell you to stop bullying my boyfriend, but- 😭

(1,482 notes)

⚡ thunderous-hero Follow

What are these "fan cams" that people keep talking about?

💧 sweetest-otaku Follow

Oh! You mean, those edits of us? I wonder how everyone got all that footage of us...

#It's actually a little creepy #How do they do it?

(3,487 notes)

🔦 endangered-observer Follow

Who... Who sent me this song?

🔥 not-ember-blade Follow

I know I shouldn't laugh, but... HA!!!

#the whole polycule having daddy issues goes crazy

(1,450 notes)

[myriadium]

Hello!! I really like your AU and character design, but I would still like to know about the relationship between the Bakugan and their partners (about the very first six). I would like to know more about everyone) sorry for my bad english 👉👈

YES I LOVE TALKING ABOUT INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS, in my opinion it's more interesting than the strategy of the actual game (although I do have some ideas on that).

So I actually like how Dan and Drago's relationship progressed in the show, at least in the beginning. Unfortunately I think in later seasons Dan's brain rot finally got to Drago and they don't really have anymore conflicts between them. People definitely change, and are influenced by each other, but the show really favored Dan’s influence over Drago, until they both basically share a brain cell. Part of this is why I want to give Dan a new Bakugan in later seasons to freshen things up. When the two of them are introduced to each other, Drago was extremely uptight and dismissive of Dan, thinking him as a lesser species and is frustrated to be confined in such a small form and needing to return to Vestroia NOW. Basically like the show. On Dan’s part, he honestly doesn’t believe Drago at first, thinking this must be some event to kickstart the launch of Bakugan or something (“this is just a game, it cannot be that serious”) until he meets up with Marucho to talk about it and sees the Doom Dimension. At that point he’s basically with the plan one hundred percent! The only issue is Dan has really grown into the rebellious teen phase, but in a way that shows that he stands true to his ideals. I’d like to think that Drago is a big picture kind of guy, at least in the beginning; he thinks the ends justifies the means. This translates to Drago refusing to fight certain opponents if he decides that they won’t help him achieve his goal of fixing Vestroia. But Dan stays steadfast in his beliefs and they clash over the best way of saving their universes.

Runo didn’t start off as an avid player, only joining in once she heard that her dimension is about to be torn asunder by negative energy. Because of this, her relationship with Tigrerra starts off like coworkers lmao. Tigrerra teaches Runo the basics and Runo’s tactician brain goes haywire and she easily impresses Tigrerra with her strategy. Obviously they grow much closer over the span of the story as Runo gets used to talking to a mechanical ball and Tigrerra gets used to being one. Out of all of the Bakugan, I like that Tigrerra would be the most knowledgeable on the workings of Vestroia, mostly so that I can do exposition dumps without it sounding too weird. Any conflict that happens between them would probably be Tigrerra frustrated that Runo doesn’t seem to really put a lot of time or effort into saving their dimensions; while Drago and Dan both work around the clock on finding a way to stop the Silent Core, Runo still goes to class and to work and seems to treat this “saving the world” business like a side gig. Of course they work it out in the end, since Runo is fiercely collaborative in everything she does, she probably has connections to underground Bakugan rings or some shit, and Tigrerra and her scout it out to see if there are any sus shit at play. So while Marucho has the legal means of acquiring information, Runo and Tigrerra have extensive connections through the people (the two of them are a very menacing presence in the Underground scene, even if they both think they’re being super subtle). Through all this spywork, the two of them grow to be a very efficient team.

Preyas is definitely Marucho’s friend and therapy dog or something. At first, Marucho thought that Preyas was probably some fun feature his extremely scary and adaptive program came up with, so he sort of talked to Preyas because he’s lonely and bored all the time. In my AU Preyas stays a lighthearted goofball, but let’s not forget his original name was called Predator, so he can also be manipulative and works very selfishly. In fact, I’d say that Preyas and Drago, at first, agree on pretty ruthless plans to prevent the destruction of their world (Drago believes himself to be pragmatic, while Preyas just really wants to go back home). Marucho, who is very selfless and sensitive to other people’s attitudes, gives Preyas rants about doing things for the greater good or whatever, while Preyas laughs him off. He plays along though, because he knows that being on the programmer’s good side is a surefire way for him to get back home. However, as time goes on, Preyas starts to see how nice it is to do nice things, and that actions that benefit other people can also benefit him, and that doing good things for other people can help him too. After his brief stint as Klaus von Hertz’s plaything, Preyas realizes the error of his ways and starts to treat Marucho as a role model. At the same time, Marucho sees Preyas as a good friend who always lent an ear to his troubles. He was aware that Preyas could be self-serving, but my boy is so much of an empath that he’s willing to continue to be kind to Preyas in the hopes that he learns to do things for the greater good.

I liked Julie’s and Gorem's relationship back in the first season. The golem in Jewish lore has always been a strong, oft gentle protective force in their community (definitely check out Jacob Geller’s video essay on the Golem, it’s a very interesting compilation of Golem interpretations). In the beginning, before getting Gorem, Julie is feeling pretty lost in life; constantly comparing herself to her girlboss older sister, she and Billy are in a bit of a rocky part of their relationship due to it going long distance, she’s currently stuck on what her next steps should be. Gorem really grounds her (heh) and he lends an ear to her insecurities/problems. Like her therapist or something, except Gorem doesn’t know what college is. And the other way around, Gorem is now stuck in a new world and he has this childlike appreciation of the world. He wakes up to watch the sunrise, he loves the little birds that flutter around the city (in his ball form they’re humongous). Gorem is very easy to get along with; he prefers to listen rather than talk but when he does it’s very insightful. I think the two of them would have a harmonious relationship, I definitely see Gorem being the most mentally stable out of everyone in the group. However, while he’s very slow to anger, when he does it’s definitely scary. Julie isn’t an avid battler in the beginning, mostly because she was trying to learn three languages at once, but once the world’s at stake she definitely becomes a very fearsome battler. Oh, it’s also important to point out that Gorem is kind of the perfect Bakugan in-game; high atk, high def, absolutely broken moveset, etc. Julie isn’t half bad at strategy either, but after picking up journalism, she got too busy to brawl. And I guess Gorem passes those days with her and Billy in their cute little cottagecore house or whatever.

ALRIGHT SO SHUN AND SKYRESS, my favorite duo. Much like Julie, Shun is working through some intense shit before meeting Skyress. As the last thing his mother gave him, Skyress basically acts as Shun’s parental figure. She and Gorem would be the group’s wisest members. Shun has recently lost someone he was very very close to, and now he’s grappling with the grief of it all. I think at first Shun might be unhealthily reliant on Skyress. He looks to her for guidance and comfort, which she provides up until she finds out that her dimension is going kablam. That’s when she pushes him out of his comfort zone. He cares a lot for her and part of his character development is to learn to move on (truly hurts my heart but I think Skyress would be the first Bakugan to leave her Brawler, I think it would be good for him). I like to think that Skyress was actually his mom’s Bakugan while Shun has a different cool one like Monorus or something. Of course, Shun doesn’t wanna lose Skyress to the Doom Dimension so he actually holds off on battling for a bit, until Skyress calls him out on being a wuss and that he’s wasting his life away in his grief. In battle, obviously the two of them have great synergy and rise to number two on the leaderboards. I really liked Shun’s endless sunset trial, and I think it’ll be fun to have him slowly move on from his mother’s death, only to be confronted with her at the very end as a test of character. When offered the chance to be with his mom, who he didn’t have enough time with, he chooses to leave the past behind him, and to look towards the sunrise. God I’m so corny I love Shun so much.

Hydranoid with Masq is a very professional relationship. Masq has a single minded goal of destroying Earth, and Hydranoid kind of plays along with him. I’d like to say that Naga’s Silent Core affected him too, making him a more obedient thing to be puppetted with. Hydranoid is the youngest (however you measure Bakugan years) of the main six’s bakugan so I imagine his true self to be quite insecure and unsure of himself (a little like Alice). Sometimes in fights Masq would hurt Hydranoid so that he becomes stronger, and for a brief flash the true Hydranoid returns, scared and confused. When both Alice and Hydra are freed from the Silent Core, they both agree to give this brawling thing another go, of course after a therapy session or three. After the pain they inflicted on so many Bakugan/people, both of them are afraid of their own power, but they work hand in hand to manage it and shape it into something less destructive. Alice and Hydranoid's relationship is one between two siblings that had to endure a tough childhood together. They understand and empathize with each other deeply, and their bond is unbreakable. They support each other but are also able to let the other know when they disagree. Their relationship would be the strongest of all the six.

Whew that was a long essay. Anyway here are some random relationship facts between everyone:

Skyress and Gorem are the mom and dad of the group

Tigrerra has that monotone way of talking where you're not sure if she's being sarcastic, she's angry at you, or if she's maybe a robot

Drago's first meeting with Dan was in the middle of a battle, like in the show

gorem's Vestroian energy affected the wood carved toy Billy made for Julie, which is how Gorem's ball form manifested

I know i shit talk humanoid designs but I quite like Preyas'. But I will make him run on four legs to really show how feral he is.

Drago was a bit of a wild card in the beginning, opting for manipulation tactics to weed out traitors and cull the weak.

Tigrerra's first impression of Preyas was that he was working for naga and tries to kill him on sight

Alice is lowkey scared of Tigrerra

Once in a battle, Preyas tried to see if he could eat a Brawler. In Marucho's game boundaries he couldn't, but he suspects that if a person wandered into Vestroia they could be eaten.

Skyress and Tigrerra go on covert spying missions whenever Runo's busy

Drago spars with Skyress for fun. The two of them also do flying races

Hydranoid is highly unnerved by Preyas

This took forever to type. Good night.

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

If it’s not to much trouble, could I ask for some scenarios about how the dork squad (general or Arkham) would react to not seeing a particular Arkham employee (who they may have grown fond of / caught feelings for) suddenly not showing up to work for a good week or so? No explanation given and either the rest of the staff won’t answer about their whereabouts or they refuse to ask in the first place since such personal information could be used against them in therapy sessions. Maybe they would start to worry about the reader getting hurt during a security breach, fired, or even killed (there’s really no telling in Gotham)? Eventually the reader returns and explains that they were just sick.

I’ve been feeling a little under the weather (prob another sinus infection tbh) so this idea just stood out to me. Take your time since it’s three characters and if you want to tweak this to be less characters than I’m cool with that. I just had to share this idea and fell in love with your writing recently

"Sick Day" Riddler, Scarecrow and Mad Hatter

You're so sweet of course this isn't too much trouble! I hope by the time you read this, you're feeling a lot better, okay? I'm actually going to go with general for this one since I haven't really gotten to yet for these characters.

Tw: surveillance, fear toxin, isolation, sedation

Riddler

- Meets his favorite employee when he's in an isolation room for causing problems with the other patients (again). Between having his locks switched constantly because he figures them out and the amount of chaos he can cause in the general population, higher ups love putting him to far corners away from others when he's bad.

- His cell is bare. They won't even give him crayons after his newest little stunt. Not only is he isolated, he's BORED. A horrible combination of things.

- So when the nurse assigned to his check-ins and medicine actually chats with him, he's taking it for all it's worth.

- "Hello, Nurse! A riddle for you. What is it that given one, you’ll have either two or none?"

- The nurse pauses. Thinks on it. "A choice?"

- "Correct! That was an easy one-" "Uh-uh, medicine first. That's not a choice." He does the most pathetic sigh, "Fine! You drive a hard bargain."

- This continues even when he's (reluctantly) let back into general population and... shockingly, he's behaving. Lots of flirting, smug grins with thinly veiled threats of all the horrible things he could do to the city.

- When the nurse disappears and no one will tell him anything... he decides it's time for blackmail. It's amazing the things you learn when you hear bits and pieces of things and have the brain to put it all together. Not to mention the camera access he has when he's not in Arkham.

- A guard here, a guard there... he has markers, blueprints and a burner laptop stashed away in a cove on the island. He manages to hack a couple cameras on the mainland... that and he stole employee files and knows their address. The creep.

- He actually figures out they're sick as he watches. If he's feeling particularly cheeky or wanting them to be convinced of how clever he is, he'll have cold medicine sent to their door with a vague riddle.

- When they come back he'll play aloof. Oh? You were sick? Well. He wasn't worried, of course. It's not like he went through a bunch of information he was saving just to ensure you were okay.

- "Cold medicine with a riddle? You must have caught the eye of some other dashing Riddler in Gotham. Not as intelligent as I am, of course."

- The next time he escapes from Arkham, he'll make sure they get locked in a cell safely away from others/the distraction he's going to cause. Then the games can begin :)

Scarecrow

- He'd come to enjoy the almost daily tit-for-tat conversations with his favorite Arkham employee. A rather lowly psych orderly, they were stuck with the most demeaning or mundane of jobs in the facility.

- This also meant a lot of interaction with the patients. Feeding them, check ins, and the occasional distraction when nurses or guards needed to catch a patient.

- He met the orderly when they were put on observation duty as he was carted to his appointment in restraints and bite/spit protection mask. They looked so fresh.

- "They're sending the new technicians to look after me now?" Then, he notices their keys sticking out of their pocket, "I'd get a locking carabiner for those, if you must have them on you. So easy to steal."

- They thank him for the advice. While waiting for the doctor, he gives them more advice. He figures they're young, not a threat to him at all. Perhaps put in their head the many ways they could get hurt or die working here.

- Yet they just smile at him, "Thank you, Dr. Crane. I'll keep that in mind." Turns out, they know exactly who he is. A psychology student that has read his papers and seen recorded lectures. Morbid and macabre interests, themselves.

- He casually takes them under their wing, as long as they continue to be courteous and show interest. He finds he has less than mentor like feelings after a time, but he tries to ignore them.

- When they disappear and no one will tell him what's happened... he doesn't get scared, but he certainly gets cantankerous. What if something happened to his young protégé? Do none of you truly care about someone who works with you daily?

- Then he gets quiet. Too quiet. Too well behaved. He's not even as combative in therapy as he normally would be, trying to turn the tables on anyone picking at his brain.

- Staff suspects something is up, but not what. They do sweeps of his cell and areas of the island to see if there's any fear toxin to be found. Nothing.

- In truth, he's been creating it in small doses and hiding it in recreational areas in plain sight. He's planning on putting it into the air systems of the asylum when-

- Oh. You're back. He was worried something happened. Sick? Well. You better take care of yourself, how can he teach you anything or have decent conversation if you're not here? Do keep up.

- He still ends up using the fear toxin to escape the asylum weeks later, but not before creating an antidote. He'll watch his orderly panic for a time, observe their fears- by the time they wake up, they're outside the facility buildings of Arkham. Mysteriously cured of fear toxin effects.

- They are completely safe and covered in a blanket. Need to make sure they don't get sick again, after all.

Mad Hatter

- Surprisingly, his favorite employee is a psychologist at Arkham. Only so many psychiatrists to go around prescribing medication, leading to a team up between the two. For more frequent weekly meetings, it's a psychologist who may refer if more psychiatric meetings are needed more often than twice a week to once a month. Only few patients such as the Joker get psychiatrists for every session.

- This particular psychologist got him in for their first session... with Jervis sedated past any point of being able to answer questions. Got "well he wasn't cooperating, he wouldn't leave his tea set!" In response. Frustrating, to say the least.

- This resulted in psychologist strutting right up to the "hidden" somewhat private alcove where Jervis set himself up, shoo anyone else away and literally... sit down on the ground with Jervis and introduce themselves.

- This, along with being polite, immediately endeared them to Jervis. Asking what his current drawing is. Him saying "the path to Wonderland, my dear." Recognizing that it is in fact a complex diagram of brain synapses and the shortfall effects of certain chemicals and hypnosis.

- The thing about Jervis Tetch is he's unfortunately a brilliant neuroscientist. Knowledgeable in not only chemical effects, but how to use hypnotic suggestion to manipulate the consciousness. There's times it's difficult to tell where the clarity of Jervis Tetch ends and the delusions of the Mad Hatter begins.

- While there might be tense moments, Jervis ends up developing a rapport of mutual respect and fondness for his doctor. So much so he gets snippy when others try to approach hum.

- This results in a complete breakdown of communication when "his" doctor is out and no one will tell him where they are. He will insist, no, DEMAND where they are.

- this is just further indication to staff that he should not be told anything due to potentially establishing an unhealthy attachment which could result in disastrous consequences if fed into.

- Shoutings about the Red Queen and compulsive rhyming begin on day three or four. A combination of poor handling of the situation and him working himself up.

- "The Red Queen traps me in hell, awaits in the shadows of this padded cell! Haroo! You made them say farewell as I dwell upon how you made them unwell! Murder! Murder, says I! Murmurs within the walls the Jabberwocky has-" (This goes on for quite some time)

- Ultimately when the employee returns, they find Jervis has been isolated to his cell on high levels of sedation to control him. Out of his mind with glassy eyes murmuring to himself when he's awake.

- There will be outright sobbing when he realizes they're back. He wants to touch them so badly. To hold them, to be comforted! He's asking how they are and what they've been doing to get better.

- Once the sedation really wears off he's going to start planning...

- He needs to get his dearest companion out of here before the darkness swallows them both.

[elinawriterofwords]

Hi! I'm writing a book about a princess with far too many love interests and not nearly enough brain cells (she shares one with her handmaiden, Sappho, who usually keeps custody of it.)

The majority of the book takes place in a fantasy world equivalent of the Mediterranean. Since there are gods and goddesses who aren't always portrayed very nicely and aren't based on real religions, I decided it's better not to make the setting a 1:1 reflection of the real world. However, I still want to honor the cultures that lend these fantasy lands their backbones. I'm still researching and developing characters and countries, and if anyone has feedback on how to write better representation, I'm happy to receive it!

If I'm doing a good job:

Thalia, Sappho, Pelagios, etc. = Ancient Greek (with intentional liberties, especially regarding religion). It might help me to influence their values and personalities based on different regions and time periods in Greek history

King Cyrus = Achaemenian. He's not very sympathetic so I should probably include at least another Persian character.

Faraj = of Amazigh descent (Likely his mother should have passed down more of his culture to him than she currently has. That needs to be fixed.)

Aisata = Undecided (more research needed at this point), from a nation in West Africa, possibly Mali

Zhurong Yu = Tang Dynasty, with tropes from Xianxia and court dramas. Strongly influenced by Taoist and Buddhist beliefs despite having a strong Confucian streak.

Zhuge Wu = More aligned with the culture as it's reflected in the Warring States period, again incorporating tropes from Xianxia and court dramas. Very Confucian in philosophy.

Empress Diao = Likely from the region near Turkey; more research and probably a name change are needed. Again, not the most sympathetic.

Things I want to avoid:

Explicit references to real religions

Treading into unsavory territory regarding tropes and stereotypes, intentionally or not

use of the word "tribe"

A "western" concept of "good" and "evil." Thalia's character arc is influenced by the Taoist idea of yin, yang, and balance, but I'm also going to be researching other cultures' concepts as well.

implying slavery is okay, even if the characters have their struggles working out the ethical implications when it's all they've known

characterizing any one group as being mainly or mostly heroes or villains or being inherently better or worse

Poorly navigating the power dynamics between Thalia and her peers, particularly Faraj.

Erasing Thalia's bisexuality, even if she has a preference for men

Romanticising Thalia's depression.

My Wish List

More characters of a wider variety of ethnicities and more significant parts for the non "Greek" characters, especially early on.

Improving relations between Thalia and her fellow wives as she lives in court. Some can be mean, but there needs to be some camaraderie

Passing the Bechdel test in most chapters lol

Visible trans characters (I have some, but "outing" them feels like it's not my business?)

Visible disabled characters

Aisata deserves all the love. She should win a popularity contest.

Thalia entering her Villain Era should be fun to read

A consistent message and theme about the importance of listening to, learning from, and uplifting others; intersectionality

Trying to get back in the reading scene. Currently reading A Court of Thorns and Roses. I'm always looking for new friends, so feel free to say hi, especially if we have stuff in common!

[my-endless-empathy]

Why Do You Love Me?

Kailan Harsa Gaharu, why do you love me?

I've been re-reading our past conversations and came up with a single question, "why do you love me?"

And I still can't get the answer.

Kailan, why do you love me? Is it because of how chatty and nosy I am when you're around? I remember talking about almost everything to you, back then. And you would listen. You will answer all my bubbles and even my weird questions.

Kailan, why do you love me? Is it because of how I react every time you annoy me or try to make me angry? How frustrated I am when you start joking around. You will probably be laughing at me and suddenly call me cute. It shut me off completely because I didn't see that would come from you.

Kailan, why do you love me? Is it because of my clumsy and sleepy texts? I often send you weird combinations of words but you still can read them, perfectly. Sometimes I become too clingy and won't give up on my bedtime just to talk to you more.

Kailan, why do you love me? Is it because you can see yourself in me? We often had a match on something, or thinking about the same thing. You also said that we often share the same brain cells. And it's something weirdly adorable, coming from you. I love how our minds also clicked with each other.

Kailan, why do you love me? Is it because of how vulnerable I am when I finally open up to you? Are you afraid that maybe I suddenly burst out or break? Or maybe you want to keep me safe so you decided to wrap me in a thick bubble wrap so you feel safe whenever I go somewhere on my own.

Kailan, why do you love me? Is it because you finally can crush down the walls between us? You told me that I am hard to reach because I always stay alert to everything related to commitment. I feel like I took a thousand steps backward every time we talked about that.

Kailan, why do you love me? Is it because of me being myself? Did you see right through me and find what you looking for in a partner? Or did you feel you could finally trust me enough to be in your life? I must be the lucky one, maybe? Koko said I feel like I play a big part in your life. Even if it is not.

But you have gone, and you leave me alone.

Kailan, even if now the definition of love is changing or maybe no longer there with us, I would thank you for loving me for whatever reason you had in your mind. Thank you for being my favorite person, even until now. I'm not supposed to thank you here because I've done that many times, and you know that. But one thing is for sure, I hope you don't mind befriending me, being my best friend again. I love spending time with you. I love talking to you. I love the idea of you being here with me as yourself.

Kailan, may you have a wonderful year-end holiday. Please consider this as your Christmas and New Year gift from me. Thank you, thank you for being here and deciding to continue the path you chose. Thank you for still being my friend. I hope I'll never lose you as one. I like being with you.

You've been nothing but a good and decent human being to everyone. Thank you for (almost) completing another year full of surprises. I am proud of you, Kailan. You've been through a lot and you're still here, standing on your own feet. Kailan, I hope 2024 brings you more and more than you could ask. I hope life is easier for you and I hope we can make it through, once again.

I am welcoming 2024 with you, the person I will always call home. The person I will always cherish. The person that I care about the most. The person who made it possible for me to breathe and grow until now, Kailan Harsa Gaharu.

With so much love,

Sherianne Alisthira Wishaka. x

You can claim another gift here:

The Playlist

2. The Letter and Video

[girltomboy]

Last week's self help course was interesting enough but not actually super helpful. It kind of pissed me off at times because of its occasional corporate dick riding tendencies. It was a welcome break from work though (with free lunch), so that was something to appreciate it for. I finally gave M the bracelet I got for her and she loved it and thanked me and said she owes me a gift now but she doesn't 😭 I was the one who owed her a gift for her birthday plus last year's secret Santa when she got me an alien necklace even though she wasn't my Santa!

On Friday we finished early, so M and I had enough time to go to her apartment, listen to some coworkers' funny calls, make dinner and eat, go to a random concert at the Christmas fair opening, and drink mulled wine. We had Saturday plans, so we didn't stay out too long, but it was nice and fun to roam through the crowd with her and watch the concert.

On Saturday I woke up at noon so I only had enough time to eat something, take a shower, and roll 2 joints for me and M to smoke at her place 😭 the plan was to make mulled wine, but smoking together has been a long time goal of ours, and we finally had the opportunity, since her flatmate went home for like a month or two. We met up to go and buy mulled wine and Sunday breakfast supplies, mulled the wine, then her cousin came over to pick up some money she owed him. And then overstayed his welcome when he heard I was staying over AND we were gonna order food. And he also messed up our plans to order from this new fast food place we've been talking about for ages, and instead convinced us to order from the cheapest, worst place 🤮 I'm pretty sure I got some sort of skin allergy from that fake cheeseburger I had, and it wouldn't even be the first time. Like a few hours later I saw a spot near my mouth that looked like a hickey but obviously wasn't one. Idk if it's still there 🤡 but I'm never eating from that place again.

Anyway, M's cousin wasn't even getting our jokes and just spent a few hours drinking cider and eating a grilled cheese wrap, and gossiping about M's flatmate. When he finally left, M and I went out on the balcony to smoke and we couldn't stop laughing, we kept having the exact same thoughts at the exact same time, our one shared brain cell kept getting activated like a ping pong ball between our skulls. When we went back inside we had to put on the videos we'd watched with her cousin again because they were just too funny and her cousin's presence prevented us from appreciating them to the fullest extent.

So we spent like hours watching random funny videos on youtube, then we decided to watch a horror movie we'd been wanting to watch at the cinema for ages, but we could never find the right tickets for it. So we watched It Lives Inside, and it was probably the worst horror movie I've ever seen in my entire life, hands down. I will make a separate post about it, but god I don't think I've seen a GOOD like GOOD GOOD horror movie from this year so far. They've all been either just bearable or downright awful like I can't believe the current state of horror. Anyway, it was entertaining because we kept laughing at the translated captions, and it was bad enough to tire us out. Afterwards M kept asking me what else I wanted to watch, and I was already sleepy so I kept being like idk whatever you want, and we got stuck in this cycle of indecision, but we ended up going to sleep.

On Sunday we woke up at 8 then went back to sleep until 11, M scrolled through youtube looking at food and I played with her little hamster. Then we made breakfast, ate, watched some more youtube videos, and I left. I ended up smoking the second joint at home by myself, I ate some snacks I had from last week and played video games with my friends the whole evening. They pissed me off a lot, not just because of the game. At some point my bf yelled and I told him to shut up and he got more pissed off, which made me upset and I'm only gonna talk to him after he apologizes. Like I'm just not gonna accept that u yell when you're angry at a game, especially when it's your fault + you complain and hate it when other people yell. And he was like "I'm not gonna change how I react" and "expect to have other fights about this" umm I really don't think that's gonna happen lol. What do you think goes through my head when the person I'm in a relationship with says those things to me? Am I just gonna be like "okay! yay🤗" Like don't be surprised that I'm upset with you and not speaking to you if you downright refuse to work on your toddler reactions and also warn me of future conflicts? Ur gonna be fighting your own demons cause I won't be there for that