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#lowkey the worst time in my life
housecow · 5 months
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i’m gonna let y’all know one of my deepest darkest secrets…..
i used to be kinda well known on ifunny, like to the point i had a sweet unique username and constant features 😭😭 that was years ago but someone just texted me and called me by that username and i had major flashbacks
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katyspersonal · 3 months
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milkbreadtoast · 9 months
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O BTW i watched the first ep of the dungeon meshi and I RLY LIKE ITTTT ive been meaning to start the manga for yrs but never got around to it TT... trigger seems to be doing rly well w the adaptation tho from what ive heard manga readers say and well just from watching it blind myself i alr rly love it and cant wait to see more...!!!
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thedickcavettshow · 3 months
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mirananananan · 1 year
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little life update/rant below :)
i feel like i've been so inactive lately which makes me big sad, but when i say i have not had the time, i'm being so serious. yesterday i literally woke up, went into work an hour early, stayed after for almost 2 hours, went home, made dinner, and immediately sat down to work on a grad school assignment and then had to work for another hour before i went to bed. then i woke up this morning and did it all again. it just feels like that's how my days look more and more recently, and it's been really hard tbh. it's demoralizing and just sad to work all day and still wake up the next day wishing i had done more, still with a mile long to do list, and knowing that it's just going to keep being this way for at least the next couple weeks.
anyways all of this is to say that i'm just both really grateful for and sorry to all my mutuals who have continued to tag me in things and stuff in the past couple weeks :) it may sound weird or dumb, but if i'm being honest i have SERIOUS fandom fomo right now, and, even though i haven't really had time recently, it's been nice to not feel like lost in the shuffle or forgotten (i told u it was going to sound weird).
being on tumblr/in fandom has truly been the most incredible escape and been such a stress relief and source of happiness for me. i'm still very much here, just lurking and liking more because i'm conserving brain bandwidth as much as possible during the week!!!!
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shinychopshopwizar · 1 year
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this is just a random thought ive had in the back of my mind when i first got into yellowjackets so be nice but like. something something jackie & shauna are quinn fabray variants (to ME) and quinn is somehow a combination of jackieshauna's worst individual traits
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my embarrassing fact is that in my fifth grade interactive journal i asked my teacher to give me math problems for fun
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themanwhowouldbefruit · 11 months
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cannot even begin to describe how suicidal i was in june-oct 2020 tho fr fr it was like full body electric bone melting disease 24 hours a day 7 days a week for 7 months 🫡
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lonelyvomit · 2 years
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#hi im having a bad night and everyone is allowed to ignore this i literally just need to rant#.........................................................................#................................................................................................#.............................................................................................................#.........................................................................................#........................................................................................................#..........................................................................................#it's just not fucking getting better is it#I've been fucked in the head for 3 weeks cus I cant stop thinking about how 4 years ago this time I was at the psych ward#and honestly? I lowkey wish I was again. it was the most stress free period I remember ever having in my life.#and I'm getting more tired and it's causing a lot more bad days and days I'm too tired to talk to people properly#and of course. that has the same consequences it always does. I'm not fucking surprised.#but it's spiraling me right back into feeling like the worst friend in the world which in turn makes me convinced no one actually likes me#that everyone is secretly just fucking annoyed with me but no one is saying it out loud cause everyone else is pretending to like me too#and the worst thing is I'm supposed to go meet a bunch of people in Helsinki in 10 days but I feel like no one really cares if I go or not#probably even prefer if I didn't uknow I'm not really part of that group the same way the others are#I'm fucking terrified of sticking my nose where I'm not wanted.#and obvs if I was a normal fucking person I'd just talk to people and make sure we're still good and no one hates me#but I'm ill and exhausted which has my social battery in the fucking negatives and I just cant do Conversations rn#which. is the exact fucking problem. literally here I go again. this is why people hate me. this is why they leave.#and I cant fucking blame them. if being friends with me is like talking to a brick wall half of the time#why would anybody bother? I cant expect them to. I don't expect them to.#the question is do I wait til everybody drops me or do I make it easy for everyone and just go away myself.#..#anyway. like said my social battery is in the negatives anyway & I just wanted to scream.#no need to react to this in any way. not like I'll have the energy to answer 🙃#im gonna go watch stupid lets play videos and try not to cough my lungs out#cheers.
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swankpalanquin · 1 year
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some of the thoughts journeys ive gone on to mentally prepare for the doctors have probably not been like super well adjusted
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coolcoelacanth · 7 months
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i feel like im going to die alone in my miserable fake life ive created for myself
#personal#what is it about me that attracts these people#maybe im the fucked up one#and i knew w my ex that i had the jackpot and i didnt want to let it go#and he hated me he did not like me#and now he has a new girlfriend that he probably loves and adoree#and im out here with absolutely no prospects#the only prospects i have are idiotic conservative brainwashed men#maybe i should start trying more w women#dating apps also make me feel hopeless#its like going thru spam of the worst people youve ever seen in ur life#and i havent rlly met anyone irl#it just feels like im losing the breakup and i was wrong the whole time and i was just this big dumb idiot making things from nothing#that he never actually loved me or cared and im a loser that still thinks about it while he has been w the true love of his life ever since#some innocent sweet looking girl who listens to taylor swift#not me the cynical slightly ugly nasty girl#it just feels embarassing#then when i think i have some friends one of them today acts like a bitch and is just lowkey manipulative and i have known the whole time#that she seems off and that i dont think i will ever have a real friendship w her but idk i just keep hoping something will fucking work out#for once in my life#i could be friends w the dude and his gf but idk it seems like it always has to be a group thing#sigh#SIGH#then my sister only answers me when shes bored in her life and my dad hasnt contacted me#its always like my life is one step from falling a part at all moments#i have gone on a date w this guy but he was being a fucking brainwashed idiot and i also just dont trust him for some reason in my gut
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melivora · 11 months
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The good news:
The ex coworker who borrowed my 200 pound sterling-worth 3DS game and lost it told me she has bought me a replacement
The bad news:
I built up the courage to ask Mr Luxembourg out on a date and he is not single
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only-katsuki · 1 year
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after i see beyoncé, i literally cannot spend anymore big money until i go back up to school. like this has GOT to stop.
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mini rant in tags.
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chaos-coming · 1 year
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Im moving countries in 2 weeks and still dont have a place to live and im so so so stressed about it that im not sleeping so im just tired and dead
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writingouthere · 8 months
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singlemom!reader x neighbor!sukuna. you miss having a baby and Sukuna is dying from a combination of your sexual tension, his lowkey(highkey) baby fever and the drudgery of attending a child's birthday party
cw: Sukuna's breeding kink, red flags are present and accounted for, no one gets laid tho so sad face. this actually ended up being way more sincere and heartfelt than I intended but honestly very typical of me
"Oh we're not together, Sukuna's just been letting me and Bug crash while we look for an apartment."
"Oh he's not my boyfriend, we're just friends!"
"He's actually not Bug's dad. No, no. But, they get along really well. She enjoys having someone else to hang out with aside from me, I think."
Your laughter after the last one plays on repeat as he goes to grab the two of you some refreshments. Sukuna feels like he's living the world's worst version of groundhog day, except instead of being some sad loser who relives the same day over and over, he's apparently a sad loser who is going to live the same conversation over and over again.
"Fuck this shit."
"Um, excuse me but could you watch your language. This is a kid's birthday party." Sukuna wants to ask the bitch who is correcting a grown man's language if he would mind watching his own fucking business but you seem to care about what these losers think and he won't make life difficult for you.
If he happens to step on the guy's foot as he leaves with two cups and a juice box caught in his elbow, well, his steel toed boots need the exercise.
Sukuna knew that if any of his acquaintances, he didn't have friends after all, could see him now, they would die laughing. Die ,because he would kill them for laughing, but fuck he couldn't even really blame them, even in his hypothetical.
Once upon a time, Sukuna was a feared criminal. People pissed themselves when he cornered them in a dark alley. Other bad guys would look at him and say, "wow that guy's a real piece of shit" and now look at him. Stuck at some three year old's birthday party. One more kidzpop butchering of an already shitty song away from committing another felony.
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he knew he was at least getting some pussy out of it, but he had just spent the past two hours hearing you deny him to anyone who asked and it was really starting to get to him.
He knew he was being a little bitch about it, and he wasn't upset just because you weren't fucking him. He was upset that all the things you were telling people, they were technically true. He was just letting you and your daughter crash. He was just your friend, not your boyfriend. Even the comments about him not being Bug's dad, but him being positioned as some kind of really invested babysitter, those might have stung more than the ones about your relationship but you thought that was true too.
Thinking about the kid made him look for her, not that Sukuna ever wasn't aware of where you and your daughter were. It had become instinct before he was even aware of it.
Bug was laughing with some kids he recognized from daycare and others from their regular trips to the park. Her happiness was contagious and Sukuna found his lips twitching up at the ends despite his shitty mood.
Your daughter's eyes found him from across the playground. "kuna!" she called, waving her little hand at him. He waved back with his available hand and made his way towards her. She met him halfway, her little legs unsteady on the wood chips but she didn't seem to notice. She was always like that when she saw him, she ran fearlessly. Maybe she just trusted he'd catch her.
Was it so wrong of him that he didn't like the reminders she wasn't his. That it stung, not just because of his feelings but because it just couldn't be true. He might not have fathered her, but fuck anyone who said this little girl wasn't his.
"I got you a juice, you've been running around so much you gotta be thirsty."
"Not thirsty," Bug argued leaning into him. He held up his hands that were holding the grown up drinks for the two of you, and moved the package still lodged in the crease of his elbow towards the petulant toddler. "Take it, or I'll drink it."
Bug stuck her tongue out at him and grabbed it. She struggled to get the wrapping off the straw and Sukuna didn't even notice what he was doing until she had the straw stretched out towards him and he was pulling the wrapper off with his teeth. He spit it out on the ground as your daughter gave him a polite thank-you and then walked away, sipping her juice as she went to catch up with her friends.
What had become of him?
"Need a hand?" You smile at him and Sukuna hands over your cup before taking a sip of his own. There was unfortunately no alcohol in it but drinking it occupied his mouth before he acted like a pussy and asked you, "what are we?" or "should we get married?" or something equally as pathetic.
"God, I want a baby."
Sukuna almost spit out his drink but he manages to tone it down to just a little cough before turning to look at you. You don't even seem a little embarrassed which is just infuriating. Sukuna's about to make a suggestion on how he can help with that when you sigh and point to where some loser is holding their ugly baby.
"Aren't babies just the cutest, I miss when Bug was that age."
Oh, so this was just you looking at other people's red-faced brats and feeling nostalgic and was not in fact a call to action. Sukuna rolled his eyes and leaned back on the hand closest to you so he didn't touch you as he was so tempted to do these days.
"That baby, like all babies, is hideous. All they do is cry, shit themselves and vomit and I'm not even sure Bug is the exception to that and she's the best kid there is."
You look touched at his affection for your daughter but also fired up on behalf of babies everywhere.
"You can't just say a baby is hideous, Sukuna. Those are the Zenin's. Bug is friends with some of them."
"Well are the older ones cuter, because that baby looks like someone fucked one of those hairless cats."
"Sukuna!" you hiss but he sees you smile, despite yourself. "Okay, maybe that baby isn't like the cutest baby-"
"Hideous."
You continue after smacking his arm. "But Bug was cute, okay. And I'm not just saying that because I'm her mom." You take out your phone and quickly swipe until you get to what you're looking for. "See, cute baby."
Sukuna grabs your phone and looks. It's not the first picture he's seen of a young Bug and he's taken his share of photos of her himself, but he finds himself taken in by it anyway.
It has to be a picture from when Bug was really young, she still had the scrunched up, red face that he associates with newborns. But he thinks you're right, she's still cute. He doesn't know if it's because he knows that baby will grow up to be your daughter, but he finds his thumb caressing her little baby cheeks, the wisps of hair he can see peaking out from where she's wrapped in a baby blanket. It's then he sees she's not alone in the picture and there's a different version of you holding her.
The thing that stands out to him is how tired you look. He thinks this couldn't have been too long after you gave birth but still, he wondered if you'd gotten any rest those first few months. You still didn't like talking about your ex, or the circumstances that had led you to his apartment, but Sukuna knew that chances are you were taking care of Bug single handedly and that couldn't have been easy, cutest kid or not.
"She was beautiful, she still is." He reluctantly hands the phone back to you and you look at the picture again, tears building up in your eyes.
"She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I-I wish that the circumstances were different in how I got her. Sometimes, I wonder how I'll explain everything to her when she's older. She just deserves so much better than him, you know?"
"You both do." Sukuna reaches over and brushes away one of the tears that had managed to fall down your cheek. He leaves his hand there a moment, holding your cheek in his palm, just appreciating the warmth.
"Do you want any?"
"What?" Sukuna isn't sure what you're talking about anymore. He can only see your lips right in front of him, the way that your eyelashes brush against your cheek as you blink faster and faster.
"Babies, do you want any?"
Something short circuits in Sukuna's brain and he wants to say, fuck yes.
He wants to tell you that he thinks about it every day. Every time you put Bug on your hip or send him youtube videos of hairstyles you want to try on her. Whenever it's late at night, and little feet pad out of your room and Bug asks him in the loudest whisper he's ever heard, if he can get her some water because she's so thirsty.
He thinks about it when the sun streams through the curtains of his apartment in the morning and it lights up your hair as you move throughout the kitchen, a force of nature, a creature from somewhere far too good to have ended up here with him.
He thinks about it when the three of you go out and people just assume you're a family, because of course you're a family. When you and Bug play some made up game, or Bug gets tired even though she denies it and he carries her sleeping form against his chest. When he holds her in his lap on the subway and you lean to rest your head on his shoulder and he feels like this, this is what he's always wanted.
He's not all pure and good though, because he thinks about it late at night in his bedroom too. After a day of your smiles, of seeing your thighs stretch out of those sleep shorts you started wearing when the weather warmed up, whenever he remembers the feel and smell of your panties when he's lucky enough to find a pair in the laundry basket, he thinks about how the two of you would make some really cute fucking babies.
He's imagined it a million ways. He's imagined you telling him you've gone off your birth control and you need him now after he takes you out on an anniversary dinner. Or him crowding you up against the kitchen counter and you begging him to put a baby in you.
His favorite fantasy is currently one where you get so carried away when you finally finally fuck that you don't ask him to wear a condom and he spends the whole night making sure you're nice and good and full of him and when you tell him a few weeks later you missed your period, he'll let you freak out. But then he'll tell you that he'll take good care of you, and Bug, and your soon to be little one and he'll finally have you, all of you and once you have your second, he'll knock you up again, as many times as he can because there could never be too many mini-you's running around.
At this point, Sukuna remembers he's talking to you, the real you and he swallows a few times before he speaks.
"I do," he says simply but something must show on his face because you're looking at him in a way you never have before. He hears your breath hitch and he leans in to kiss you, and you smell so good and his thoughts are consumed by the little family he just knows you're going to have when suddenly he's pelted by a variety of sharp, little objects.
Sukuna immediately holds up his arm to shield you from what he now sees is a barrage of wood chips which are being thrown at you by an army of toddlers, including your daughter.
You immediately get up and start talking to the kids about the danger of throwing what are basically large future splinters at people's faces and Sukuna is contemplating the murder of every child that isn't his own when you turn to look at him.
You're not just looking at him, you're seeing him and oh. Maybe he would be getting laid tonight, after all.
The slow burn is almost done folks.
thank you to the amazing reception to this series and the one-shot I posted(which there will be a prequel of soon!). it's literally so insane. Masterlist will be up tomorrow which I hope helps with accessibility!
edit: masterlist is up!
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