#maybe im the fucked up one

[coolcoelacanth]

i feel like im going to die alone in my miserable fake life ive created for myself

[clouvu]

Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine

[dovewingkinnie]

deranged showtime

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

(volume warning)

this was surprisingly fun to make so i'll probably do another

[xiewho]

toxic AND doomed by the narrative. who is doing it like u kristen applebees

[napping-sapphic]

*gives you a gay little kiss that feels like home*

[quirkle2]

a little bit crazy

[suntails]

the weight of family and the pull of gravity

[inkskinned]

it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

[heartorbit]

HAPPY NEWONDERHOY YEAR 🍡

[b4kuch1n]

red lion wizard !

[pencildragons]

OHHHHHHH i know it is SO deeply unlikely but i just had a thought.............what if there's an oiar case and somehow, some way, it is jon or martin (or jonah but i dont want to think about that) . perhaps it has crossed over, perhaps they didn't immediately get trapped in the computers. like can you IMAGINE hearing chester or norris (or augustus but again. who gives a fuck about that crusty old man) reading out a case but it's really them. my god

[juice-boxy]

Okay well, maybe I like him a little bit

(Click image for better quality/so u can zoom in on the Itty bitty Jaxes)

the William afton/ Raggedy Andy love child….

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i think i need a lobotomy

[faunandfloraas]

[puppyeared]

fake ep idea + doodles