#lu bu imagine

[darkdevasofdestruction]

My Most Cherished Friend - Lu Bu Fengxian x Reader

Life in the Wu Commandery was a tough one, especially for frail women, but the people of the village were united and kind, like the members of one big family, protective over their own, especially the younger generation - The children. Though, even the little ones had to grow up fast and pull their weight in any way they could, be it seaming clothes, carrying fire wood, help with the buildings and maybe hunting also.

Y/N had the privilege of being born in a happy, loving family, and though none were rich, they were content with each other and the kindness they spread around. There was one boy who wasn't as fortunate however, though Y/N couldn't understand why -

Lu Shang, the kindest man in the province, the protector of all children, had adopted a child born under the blood moon - A demon child, as they say. Y/N asked her parents why the village shuns a child, he did nothing wrong! Even the other children strayed away from him, in case they'd also get afflicted with his unfortunate curse.

"Papa, why are they so mean to Lu Bu?" Y/N asked one evening, during dinner. "He just wants to play. He always looks so sad." "Well, darling, what do you want to do?" her father smiled kindly. "I... I want to be his friend!" the two parents looked at each other proudly, before patting her hair. "Then do as you wish." Y/N looked up at her mum and dad before dashing out of their little hut, all the way to Lu Shang's home. She smiled widely at the two surprised residents of that tent. "Do you two want to join us for dinner?" her brilliant smile full of tenderness and kindness shocked the young boy, but more than that, made the father throw his arms around the girl and hug her tightly, thanking her for being his child's only friend.

Y/N guided the two back to her cottage where the adults had a merry time, and the two children, well - Y/N tried to make conversation, hoping to ease Lu Bu into their fresh new friendship. Thankfully, by the end of the night, Y/N spotted the cutest, smallest smile on his face, and the faintest of blushes on his cheeks.

He is so cute.

Since then, Y/N accepted the rejection of her other so-called friends, and the whole village, just to spend time in Lu Bu's company. Somehow, despite being so quiet and supposedly dangerous, he was a far better friend than any other one she had before.

Y/N would cook for the two men, and would tailor them clothes of all kinds - But what Y/N loved the most was to play with Lu Bu's gorgeous hair, though somehow, no matter how much she tried to brush it or braid it in all sorts of ways, it would break any tie, and would get spiked up like a porcupine or a hedgehog.

He really was so adorable.

Y/N was fawning over him shamelessly, complimenting him, kissing him, hugging him - Lu Bu almost felt the need to pull away from her, as she's behaving just like his father - But somehow, he also... Liked it?

"You have such beautiful eyes, Lu Bu! They always look so tender and kind - But also so sad and lonely." she would cup his face and kiss his forehead dearly. "I know I may never be able to erase your sadness, but I want you to know that no matter what happens, I will always be here for you, okay? You will always be my most precious and dearest friend." Lu Bu looked at her, his eyes gleaming with surprise and sparkles of hope. He offered a toothy grin and pulled the girl in a strong embrace. "My precious friend."

Every time Lu Bu would go out to hunt and get large game, he would share it with Y/N's family also, and every time he'd see her being bullied by the other kids, he would stand in front of her, defending her. He needn't actually do anything - They all feared his mere presence, let alone even try to confront him. Weaklings. They were all weaklings. How come a small and frail girl like Y/N can brave him, but grown up adults cannot? Ha. Ridiculous playthings.

Y/N continued being his best friend through all of his sadness and hardships, being his only friend and supporting him and his dad. Funny enough, their parents kept talking weird shit about marrying one day and what not - How strange, how peculiar. He didn't need any of that. Y/N was his precious person and he never wanted to part from her. He needn't some silly marriage pact to define their bond - They were inseparable, in life and death, and he was going to protect her at the cost of his life - Though he doubts there's ever going to be anyone to best him in combat. He was born a warrior, will live as a warrior, and will die as the strongest warrior that China ever had and ever will.

Though the years passed, Y/N's misfortunes began to grow - Once, with the death of her mother, due to an unknown disease, and later on, with father's death, out of sheer grief. Y/N was all alone, refusing to exit her tent and crying the day and night out, starving to death.

"Where is Y/N? I haven't seen her in a few days." Lu Bu asked his father, who offered a sad smile. "I think she is in dire need of a friend." Lu Shang explained, patting his head. "What do you mean?" he asked, confused. "Am I not her friend anymore?" the boy gasped, fearing the worst. "Does she not like me anymore?!" "No, no - Nothing of the sort. It's just... She lost both her mum and dad in a short amount of time. I bet she feels alone and scared right now." the father-figure watched the gears of his son's mind rotating. "But she's not alone - She has us, right?" the innocent boy answered quickly. "Sometimes, when stricken with grief, we tend to forget that we have people to rely on." the father explained, patting the boy's head. "We just need a gentle reminder that we have someone out there, still caring for us, even if life feels heavy on our shoulders and we can't see the light of hope through the thick darkness."

Lu Bu was a little confused, but had a good idea on what to do. He rushed out of his tent and into the forest, where he got a bunch of pretty flowers and made a flower crown for Y/N. She always loved flowers, and liked braiding them in his hair - But he wasn't good at braiding her hair, so he settled for a pretty crown. Hopefully, she'll like it.

With afternoon coming quickly, Lu Bu ran into the silent tent of Y/N and watched as she kept herself into a little ball, continuing to weep even after a few days since her father's funeral. She was outright distraught... And so alone.

"H-Hey, Y/N?" she hadn't answered. The boy stepped by her side, placing the crown on her head. "I-... Uh... I'm your friend!" he boldly declared as he wrapped his arms around the girl. "So, uh... So I want to see you smile again."

Y/N looked up at him - For Lu Bu, she was still so pretty, even with her face pale from her unhealthy habits, the dark bags under her eyes from lack of sleep, and the puffy pink face from excessive crying. She looked at him, deeply shocked that he did all this, just for her. Suddenly, the boy picked her up in his arms and ran outside, and to the flower field on the edge of a cliff. "You can put flowers in my hair if you want!" he declared with a large smile on his face. It seemed that such simple gestures brought some pink hues in her cheeks, and she even had the faintest smile.

They didn't really speak the entire time, instead, Y/N found comfort and peace simply from his presence next to her. Together, they watched the Sun go down, painting the sky in numerous gorgeous colours, before it got dark and the stars started twinkling. "Do you think they are up there? Sparkling brightly and watching over me?" Lu Bu looked at the girl, before looking up - A star was shining very brightly, right in front of them - He smiled and nodded his head. "Yeah, I think so. I think they are right there. Happy." he pointed at that star. Y/N smiled. "That's reassuring." she said as she threw her arm around his body. "Thank you. Friend." Lu Bu said no words - Instead, he mimicked a gesture she'd often do for him. He kissed her forehead.

When Fengxian was around nine years old, he experienced sickness - Or rather, his father's, and nothing that Y/N did, nor even the elder medics, could save him without the aid of expensive medicine that wasn't available within their district.

"All of this is the country magistrate, Li Tang's, fault!" Lu Bu heard Y/N's grandfather mumble as he tried to care of Lu Shang. "It's become nothing but heavy tax and tributes since that fucker came." he growled lowly. "Did you hear that he wants young girls as tributes now? What if he wants our sweet Y/N next?" her grandmother was evidently in distress. "That fucker is ruling as if he's the king of the country. He doesn't even consider us humans. At this rate, he'll make us commit suicide. We have no choice but to leave these lands soon, if it continues this way." Lu Bu and Y/N remained by Lu Shang's side as he rested, never once moving, though the worries of the adults weren't ignored by him. "Don't worry, Fengxian." despite his delirious and weakened state, Lu Shang mustered the strength to ruffle his boy's hair. "If I get some sleep... I'll get better." they both knew he wouldn't. But that's a parent's duty, isn't it? To care for his children and their happiness?

That night, Lu Bu went to the magistrate's mansion to 'ask' for some medicine - Y/N knew he was going to get in trouble, so she followed stealthily behind him. She watched as he easily killed the guards and forced his way within the mansion, taking just about all the important medicine in a huge sack. Silly boy. With such a noticeable bounty, he was bound to get noticed.

Before she left, Y/N left a handmade jewellery, evidently a girly one, and left it at the crime scene, as evidence. The guards will surely blame her instead. And so it happened, though the massacre and destruction was far larger than she ever anticipated. Li Tang's guards burnt the village to the ground, captured Lu Shang and all the children while all the other adults had to watch as they cut off the man's entire arm. They were surrounded by the magistrate's army, but the only happiness Y/N and Lu Shang had was that Fengxian wasn't there - They didn't want him to get killed because of his kindness.

A tall man garbed in regal armor and a sun-like mask walked in front of them, wearing a nasty grin. "I am the magistrate of the Han Empire. There is a child who committed robbery in my mansion, and apparently, she is a child of this village. Her name is Y/N." the disgusting man held up the tassel in his hand. "If the girl steps forward willingly, I may have a little mercy on these filthy slaves."

The elder of the village stepped forward and kowtowed to the ground, his forehead glued onto the ground. "Master Li Tang, we offer you the criminal Y/N without hesitation. These children don't deserve punishment for anything. I beg you... I beg you...! Please spare their lives!" the elder got stepped on harshly with the heel of his boot, getting kicked and hit by the flickering magistrate. "There's NOTHING you can say - Why I would need to punish some dirty nomads - I will give them a painful death, one that you all will find unforgettable! If you keep provoking me, I'll spill their filthy nomad blood everywhere!" "It was me." Y/N stepped forward, her head held high and with the dignity of an Empress. "You gave us no choice. We are people also, and have every right to live. If you are going to oppress us, then we must retort to crimes to survive." she spoke bravely, allowing the elder to return to his people. "I don't regret raiding your expensive house for medicine to save a worthy man." The magistrate looked down at the small girl, a sadistic grin twisting his face. "A little whore like you dares speak so bravely?" he took out a huge scissors-like weapon, and slashed at her, ripping at her clothes and slicing her skin. You could see blood pouring through the ripped material. "I will give you an easy death, if you kneel to the ground and lick my boots - Repeat this phrase - You will say - We, Nomads, are the whores of Li Tang, the county magistrate in Jiuyuan district of the Han Empire." he opened the blunt-edged scissors, taller than her, and pointed the tip to her nether regions. "I'm going to fuck you with it if you don't obey." "I will not soil the name of my people for a cruel imbecile like yourself!" Y/N pride was met with a demonic expression from the magistrate, who rose his arms up in the air. "Kill them all." he growled like a rabid dog as his army rose their bows up to aim.

Quickly, Y/N extended her arms to the side and stood tall in front of the kneeling Lu Shang, ready to protect him with her life. But death never came.

Instead, Lu Shang, with his remaining arm, grabbed Y/N by the back of her outfit and pulled her down to safety as he tanked all the many arrows, shielding the children of the village.

"Are all of you okay?" Lu Shang asked the children, barely standing up from the over twenty arrows stuck in his body. "No! Why did you do this?! I was supposed to protect you! When Fengxian finds out you died, he's going to go crazy!" Y/N yelled at the man, sobbing as she fell to her knees in front of him. "Why...?" he smiled gently as he fell to the ground. "Protecting the smiles of children is the duty of an adult." "THEN WHO WILL PROTECT FENGXIAN'S SMILE?!" Y/N cried out at him, desperate and frustrated with him. "You."

A psychopathic laugh, followed by the magistrate grabbing Lu Shang by the hair, and pinning Y/N on the ground, strangling her with a single hand, sent terror through everyone's heart. "It's useless - Useless! From the very beginning, I decided to massacre all the nomads." "LET HIM GO, YOU SICK FUCK!" Y/N tried to claw at his hand and struggle away, only to get a punch in the diaphragm, knocking her breath away.

A sea of gasps and curses attracted the attention of the nomads, as Lu Bu appeared out of nowhere. "Fengxian..." Lu Shang felt tears in his eyes as his own child had to witness such a horrific sight. "FENGXIAN, RUN! HE'S GOING TO KILL YOU!" Y/N yelled at him - The Magistrate quickly realised the demon child wasn't important only to his father, but to this wench also. To taunt Lu Bu, Li Tang threw the father away before grabbing the little girl, his perverted hands crawling all over her skin, despite her futile struggling.

The poor child watched the decrepit state of his father - His arm cut off and still bleeding, his body torn apart by countless arrows buried deep inside his flesh. His only friend was bruised and bloody, her clothes ripped to shreds and body defiled in front of him. Lu Bu felt like crying from a myriad of emotions overwhelming him to the core. He was ready to rip everyone to shreds.

"Ahh, what a scary face! Lu Bu, was it? I was playing with your father and girlfriend because you were taking so long!" the whole army surrounded the feral child. "Kill him! It's your turn to be punished!" "REMOVE YOUR HAND!!!" Lu Bu screamed loudly, his voice echoing through the entire plains.

Everyone watched with awe and wonder as a mere child of nine massacred an entire army, weaponless, right in front of their eyes. Lu Bu Fengxian was truly a monster demon child. Seeing his useless soldiers getting killed, Li Tang threw the girl away and readied his famous weapon to kill the child - But it was futile. Lu Bu needn't a weapon to defeat trash. In a single punch, the magistrate was mauled. "You, who brings misfortune, is a child of evil." were his last words before his head was kicked off his body.

With the fight over, Lu Bu watched as Y/N dragged his father to lean back on a tree, his arrows already taken off, but the bleeding was insane. Her outfit was ripped to shreds in a failed attempt to stop the bleeding - But with such injuries... Not even the Gods could save him.

"N-No... No, you can't! Can't we stop the bleeding in some way?!" the poor boy panicked wildly, only for his face to be cupped tenderly by the man's remaining hand. "Fengxian... Fengxian... S-Show me a good face... Please..." his father looked the boy in the eyes, encouraging him to go search far and wide for the man whose strength will rival his - A man he would be able to call a friend. "Just don't forget... Myself and Y/N will always be with you. You are not alone." Lu Shang touched his forehead to that of his child. "Y-Yes... Yes... I-I understand...D-Dad..." it was the first time Lu Shang got called 'dad' by his child. He was the happiest he's ever been in his life. "It's the first time... You've called me that. Haha... I am the luckiest man..." he smiled gently. "Fengxian. You are my proudest treasure." he died in his child's embrace, with an accomplished, content smile on his face.

It was the first and only time when Lu Bu would wail to the skies, his heart broken irreversibly from grief and mourning - A cry resounding through heavens, as if it were coming from a dragon.

Throughout the day, Lu Bu wailed, and as the Sun began to set, he had to bury his father. "Fengxian..." Y/N held him the whole day, hoping to ease his pain in some way, though she was well aware that there was nothing to mend a shattered heart.

Everyone mourned, but Lu Bu was the most stricken with grief - He wore his black outfit, unable to look away from the grave. Behind him, he heard the villagers mention a future attack of retaliation from the empire, and how they needed to start fighting. They asked for guidance from Lu Bu, to teach them how to fight like him.

Instead, the boy ate away his own mourning and whistled for his mount, a large warg, jumping on it. "I don't need weaklings. I will devour all the troops." he said, his determination infinite. He was going to find that friend his father spoke of. "Afterwards, I will go west. If the Han army comes, pass that on to them." "Fengxian, wait!" Y/N ran to him, looking up into his empty eyes. "I don't want to lose you." He gave a small smile, offering his hand to her. "Come with me, then." he said. Y/N grinned, not hesitating as she slapped her hand over his own, letting him drag her up on his mount, right in front of him as to not fall over from the speed. "I will follow you to the ends of the world, Fengxian. In life, and in death. How's that sound?" "Sounds fun." he smirked.

Following that, believing in the words of his father, the boy continued to travel decisively, all to find someone worth his time.

Years passed, and Lu Bu never knew the taste of defeat. Him and Y/N would grow together, with him protecting her from anything that might threaten her, whilst Y/N would take care of him - Only he knew, he never did bother changing his clothes, cooking anything tasty or caring for his hair. He was a man, after all. A traveler, a warrior - Why should he care about trivial things? That's how women are, always worrying over little things - Though he couldn't deny, he was enjoying her care over him, to the point that he was purposely getting himself in situations to earn her spoiling treatment, like a sly little cat seeking affection.

He relished in her sweet kisses, loving the feel of her lips all over his face - The most beautiful woman in China was his best friend, his companion, his lover, his family, his most trusted and cherished person. Y/N was his everything. She was the only being he ever loved - And through that, he allowed her to abuse his love for her - Whenever she wanted to kiss, he would kiss her. Whenever he wanted his embrace, he would let her sleep cuddle in his arms. Whenever she wanted his love, he would give it.

For as long as this life keeps him, he will seek strong men to fight, a friend to understand him, and keep Y/N happy.

One day, in Luoyang, they brought one of the Three Jewels of China, the strongest horse to ever exist - Red Hare - The most sinister horse in history, that could run 500 km in one single day. A horse that was never ridden before.

Y/N tugged on Lu Bu's hand as he was munching on a carrot, as she excitedly wanted to see the fierce mount. Without any fear, she walked ignorantly past all the screaming people, and the mangled merchant, and stepped in front of the horse. "Hello, beautiful!" she smiled sweetly, raising her hand up to caress his snout. "You truly are China's most treasured jewel. Red Hare. You are fantastic." the woman's gentle compassion seemed to calm the steed's ferocious hostility. "I have brought you a friend. I am sure you will get along well."

In that moment, human caught the attention of the monstrous horse - It instantly turned to the human because of his odor, the smell of someone strong. "Wanna go?" Lu Bu smirked as he challenged the horse to a race. For the first time in a million years, mankind witnessed a race between a horse and a human. "I'll wait you here, darling!" Y/N cheerfully waved to her childish darling as she went to have her meal at some restaurant.

The man and the horse just kept running as far as they could, until they ran into the merchant and his army who arrowed the animal down - Still, he wasn't about to fall down so easily, and he trampled over the evil man a second time to continue his race, followed by Lu Bu who slapped the man dead to get out of his way.

Fengxian watched with sad eyes as the animal was unable to keep standing anymore. "You can't run anymore, Red Hare?" he picked the large steed on his back, walking him back home, for Y/N to treat. "Let's go home together. Y/N's gonna get worried if we don't return for dinner." seeing the human walking, carrying him on his back; with his body completely exhausted, Red Hare observed his own defeat. "Hey. Can I ride you till your death?" and so, he got his war partner, running together for life. Red Hare's back is made for Lu Bu Fengxian.

Over the course of time, Lu Bu would kill all the people standing in his way, claiming the title of the Strongest Man in China - He destroyed Dong Zhou, and the Seven Grails of Uruk who protected him, and massacred so many who dared attempt to cross him at Hulao Pass, only for Sun Jian Wentai to defeat him by forcing him to cross the self-imposed line he made in the sand.

And so, Lu Bu had found an admirer who looked very similar to his father - And they continued to fight together throughout his life. He simply asked for a friend who could understand him.

The God of War, the Strongest Man in China, the Raging Dragon, the Flying General Lu Bu Fengxian was entirely undefeated.

His greatest distress of all times. Eventually, nothing would stand before him any longer, and in exchange, the number of those following him gradually increased - And so, after 30 years of life, Lu Bu had come to his journey's end; In that moment he realised that under all heavens, there was no longer anything stronger than he.

"I'm done with life." Lu Bu told Y/N one night as they sat by the edge of a cliff. "I can't take it any longer. Disappointment after disappointment. There is no one left to fight. I have reached the pinnacle of strength." "Then, you wish for death in hopes of finding a worthy foe amongst the Gods?" Y/N hummed, looking up at the stars. "Yes. I will let Cao Cao capture me." he spoke bluntly. "Will you let me follow you?" Lu Bu looked down at the calm woman dangling her feet from the edge. "I haven't forgotten your promise to me - But you are still young. Are you sure you wish to forsake your life, just to be with me in heavens?" his voice was as gruff as always. Y/N looked up at him with a sweet smile. "Of course. What's the meaning of life without the one you cherish?" Fengxian let out an amused huff. "I have a single request from you, though." "What is it?" "I want you to be the one to take my life and deliver me into the next." Lu Bu rose a questioning eyebrow. "I don't want to end up as Cao Cao's slave or plaything. They won't just kill me. That's the life of a woman... So - Will you offer me this kindness? Will you let me wait for you in the skies? I promise I'll tell Lu Shang you've been a good boy." she giggled sweetly. The man huffed, looking up at the sky with a smile. "I won't let you wait too long. Take care of Red Hare until I come." "Of course I will."

Fengxian got up to leave for a few minutes, only to return with a beautiful flower crown, which he placed on her head. "As beautiful as always." he knelt down in front of her, pulling her into a strong embrace. "Forgive me, Y/N. For everything." he whispered in her ear. "There is nothing to forgive, my darling." her sweet voice shattered his heart. "I love you, Fengxian." "I love you, Y/N."

Lu Bu pulled her into a deep kiss, keeping her mind away as he drove the dagger into her heart, and he deepened the bittersweet kiss tainted by the metallic taste of blood as she died in his arms with a smile on her face. Just like his dad. "Wait for me, Y/N. I'll be there soon." he cried once again, for the second time in his life, as he buried his dearest friend at the base of a flowering magnolia tree.

Thus, Lu Bu allowed himself to get captures, and as he looked at the noose, he yawned loudly. "Oi, just hurry up and end it, will ya? What's takin' so long? You're borin' me to death here. Y/N's waiting for me."

As promised, Y/N was there, waiting for Lu Bu to come to her, followed by Gong Chen and his faithful army. For a while, the afterlife was an eternal peace - A boring one - Until a woman called Brunhilde came over with a most exciting proposal - Fight a God, for the sake of humanity. Of course, Fengxian couldn't care less about mankind's fate - He cared only about fighting a most fearsome opponent like he experienced nowhere else on earth.

And thus, he became the first human to fight the Mighty Thor, using the spear made from a Valkyrie's body and soul morphing into the soulbound weapon.

For the first time in his entire life, Lu Bu was truly happy, excited, thrilled even, to be fighting a man equal in strength, or perhaps even stronger than him. A God of War, just like himself. He was beyond a shadow of doubt so enthusiastic to fight Thor at his strongest, without his gloves on, and with that large hammer pulsating with life - Thor considered him a worthy foe, a friend even. He wasn't just a 'human' anymore in his eyes. He was Lu Bu, Thor's friend and his mightiest opponent he's ever faced, with both of them smiling truly for the first time, facing each other.

In this battle, Thor would display his finest smile, and Lu Bu would meet it with his worst.

Though he would manage to injure Thor himself, he blocked his strongest hit yet - At the cost of his own tibia bones breaking, causing him to fall on the ground. Whilst Gong Chen and his army were weeping loudly, Y/N ran to the stables where Red Hare was being kept, and rode him into the arena. She smiled down at him, extending her hand to him.

"My dearest friend, we vowed to live and die together, didn't we? Red Hare and I haven't changed our hearts about you. So - Will you allow us to accompany you for the last time?"

With incredibly strength, Lu Bu used his halberd to get back up and slapped his hand over Y/N's much smaller one as she helped him get up on Red Hare's back.

"Y/N. Red Hare. In this moment, I ask you - Would you entrust your life to me?" the man asked, readying his weapon, happy to be allowed to use his most perfected technique against a worthy foe - The Sky Eater. After thousands of years, Lu Bu finally met the man who could take the brunt of this strike. "Always."

Lu Bu instinctively knew that the next swing would be the strongest in his entire life - And indeed, Thor also felt the exact same way. Thor's Hammer against Sky Eater.

In this exchange, Fengxian's left arm was ripped off, while the left was half torn. "Fengxian." Y/N called out as the man bit off his dangling arm. "Red Hare became your legs. Allow me to become your arms." Y/N said, holding the halberd clumsily. "Silly woman, you never held a weapon in your entire life." the man grinned widely at her. "About time, huh?" she said. "Are you happy, my love?" "I gave it everything I had. This... This right here - This is what true joy is, huh?" he chuckled lightly, kicking Red Hare's side. "What would I know? My joy is seeing you happy for the first time."

As Thor struck his hammer, both Y/N and Fengxian were killed at the exact same time, their bodies destroyed and toppling over to the ground in a pool of blood.

Thor looked down at his opponent, smiling - Those 16 minutes of their fight were the happiest he's ever been in his long existence. What a worthy man - Truly the strongest humanity ever had.

The Gods celebrated their victory, while the humans toasted in honor of the greatest general to ever live - But Red Hare and Gong Chen were griefing. "Red Hare, I feel your pain. Heaven or Earth, a land without Milord already holds no value to us. We shall follow him!" Lu Bu's entire army was right behind the strategist and the Jewel Steed. "We're coming, Milord!" the soldiers wept as they rushed into their last, honorary battle. "We are the army of Lu Bu! We follow our general, no matter how many deaths we face! Prepare thyself!" the army attacked, knowing very well the outcome. Thor smiled, his heart trembling with emotion and thrill. "Very well. I'll send you as offerings in his name - To Lu Bu." "To hear Milord's name resonating alongside Thunder...!" Gong Chen, Red Hare, and everyone else experienced the greatest honour of their life, following Lu Bu and Y/N in death, forever, with smiles on their faces.

Though their souls were shattered and reduced to dust in the vacuum of space, unable to return to the cycle of reincarnation, none regretted their actions. Their greatest joy finally appeared in front of them - Seeing their most beloved person truly happy.

For Fengxian and Y/N death was not a cruel end, but the happiest outcome that could befall them. With smiles on their faces and hearts filled with love and bliss - Together, forever, be it life, death, samsara or nothingness - No matter what form their bodies take, or even if their souls are no more - Somehow, Fengxian and Y/N's happiness rang eternal over all realms, like a gentle, warm breeze in Spring.

The strong bond of a most cherished friend.

[dance-till-the-death]

How I think RoR characters would scream

expect some of them are incorrect because idfk

‼️ LOUD WARNING ‼️

Tags :

@monochrome-cropcrown @roygiri @rexmez @thequietkid-moonie @recreationalfanfics @snowmantita

[huntersmoon1]

Dear god my brain must be hornier than I thought.

Last night I was having weird dreams I can’t describe or remember most of like normal.

But then there’s a part where Rafayel is stand in front of me in his towel option but it looks the way it does in the main cafe screen where you can touch and he’ll talk.

I start moving him around like you can when you picking clothes for him and you can move I’m 360 degrees.

And then the towel moves enough for me to get a sneak peak at his dong 😳.

Then it changes to a character from record of ragnarok and he appears in the same way. I can move him like I could Rafayel and he’s wearing a towel.

But then all of a sudden he’s on a motorcycle I think, with nothing on and I can’t see his crotch cuz of the engine.

He starts the engine then he bends over backwards almost in a backwards C as he drives off. I think it was either LuBu or Thor I’m not sure.

[ray-elgatodormido]

Ah yes. Imagine the scary boss in his underwear they said. It would make him less scary they said.

“They” being me I um… did a thing and I’m sorry

Well turns out colouring from grayscale is much easier for me and gave great results.

and this was the file name

It would appear that my sole contributions to the Wo Long enjoyer and Three Kingdoms media fandom as a whole is “Lü Bu tibbiez”

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Hello!! I finally got to request 😭😭... Its a long one but what if after the Ragnarok Tournament, where after everyone was revived and the Humans won, a trio was formed? Basically,

Thor & Reader & Lubu,

Sasaki & Reader & Poseidon,

Jack & Reader & Heracles,

Hades & Reader & Qin

Nikola & Reader & Beelzebub

Odin & Reader & Simo

The Reader is the Human Fighters Valkyrie, and is extremely beautiful but also have a sassy attitude. Both of the human and heaven fighters are inlove with her but none have made their move until reader start getting hit on by her admirers. She manage to get out of the situation by lying that the human fighter is their boyfriend, but one day the same admirer come again, determine to at least get a date but accidentally screw up and this happen...

How will the Gods and Humans react? I do imagine they actually decided to go into a relationship, all 3 of them though, lol 😂

-The two men you called your lovers didn’t start out that way, you were a Valkyrie, one who as willing to give your own life to become a weapon for humanity against the gods.

-When you fused with (Human), it felt so right for the both of you, it felt so warm, so beautiful, and he almost instantly fell for you.

-(God) had loved you for a long while now, as he was taken by your feisty personality, you always spoke your mind and he had to admire you for that. However, seeing you soul bonding with a human angered him, he felt like (Human) was taking you away from him!!

-As the two men fought, they bonded as well, learning about each other, and by the end of their fight, which left all three of you heavily injured, they had respect for one another, and when they learned of the feelings they both had for you, they had agreed to share you, they just had to somehow convince you, as you were notorious for refusing dates, not wanting to bother with romance.

-That’s what led to this predicament you found yourself in; unlike others who asked you out, usually taking your rejection lightly, there was one, Kand, an earth god, who was persistent and annoying!

-You had been walking around with (God) when he approached, asking you out on a date and he was trying to refuse your rejection this time around, not wanting to take no for an answer.

-It was only when you grabbed (God’s) arm, pulling it to your body, “This is my boyfriend, I’m not interested!”

-Kand was stunned, seeing (God), and while (God) was stunned by your words, he realized that you were using him to get this pushy minor god to back off as he instantly glared, making Kand back off and run.

-When Kand approached you two days later, you were with (Human), and once again, he was being persistent, but as (God) approached, as the three of you were going out for a meal together, you grabbed (Human’s) arm, “This is my boyfriend!”

-Kand paused for a moment before glaring, pointing at (God), “You said he was your boyfriend he other day!” the two men looked down at you, curious as to what you were going to do next.

-They hadn’t expected you to grab (God’s) arm, pulling it to your other side, “He’s my boyfriend too! Got a problem with it?”

-Kand fell to his knees in anguish as (Human and God) were surprised by your words before you kept ahold of them and led them away.

-When you went to pull away, they grabbed your hands, holding on to them, which surprised you as they both smiled down at you, telling you that the three of you were going on a date, and as your boyfriends, they were going to treat you.

-You hadn’t expected them to be okay with this accident, but you weren’t complaining, finally accepting a date as the three of you headed off.

-Thor and Lu Bu- Had been surprised by your bold declaration, but you weren’t bothered by it, so they weren’t either. They had a strong bond between them, being so alike, being strong warriors, and you were their third.

-Poseidon and Kojiro- While Poseidon was elated at you finally accepting his proposal to date, Kojiro was a little shyer, as he wasn’t well versed in dating. Kojiro tried to back out, “You don’t need an old man like me. You two have fun!” this didn’t fly with either you or Poseidon, who each grabbed one of Kojiro’s hands, putting him in the middle, not willing to let him walk away. Kojiro was flattered but it took a bit for him to be comfortable.

-Hercules and Jack- Jack was initially hesitant on being your boyfriend, as he felt like you deserved better, not a killer like him, but both you and Hercules, who thought of Jack as a kindred soul now, refused to let him leave. You were both a bit exasperating, but Jack adored you both as you told him that he wasn’t leaving and that you were a trio, you were all partners. Jack couldn’t help but smile, seeing the kind souls that he found himself blessed with.

-Hades and QSH- Hades had his hands full with the two of you, QSH did what he wanted when he wanted while you had no filter, but he couldn’t imagine a day without both of you driving him crazy. QSH wasn’t bothered by having multiple partners, he was used to it from his time as emperor, when he had several consorts at one time. You definitely had your hands full with the two of them, as they were so different as far as personalities are concerned, but you enjoyed every moment spent with them.

Beelzebub and Nikola- Nikola was such a sweet baby boy, as he had been a lifelong bachelor, as he always saw women as something that needed to be respected and cherished and that he wasn’t worthy. Beelzebub was initially afraid of getting close, not wanting to hurt either of you, but with the three of you working together on each other, the relationship flourished, and you all found happiness you never knew that existed.

-Odin and Simo- Odin was initially hesitant, despite his feelings for you, as he was worried you wouldn’t be happy with an old man like him, and Simo, being a lifelong bachelor, was a bit shy in the dating scene. You definitely had your hands full with them, but you kept them both grounded, reassuring them that you wanted to be with them, and they believed you, because you wouldn’t hesitate to tell them otherwise.

[powerfullnuggets]

I like to imagine a fem!Y/N who, like Valkyria, can volundr but like in a stronger and long way and is one weapon of the gods ( Thor, Buddha, Hades ). Since their attack are named in general of their wife idk I think it's cute. Y/N is the Bident of Hades and her nickname is Persephone so does it explain why the attack is named after her? idk Or Y/N is Mjölnir, Thor wears those gloves to protect her but after Lu bu fight when she turns human again she is hurt and he is crazy sad he was so in the fight that he forgets

[luxthestrange]

RoR Incorrect quotes#74 DISHONOR-

When the other fighters found out about You...some skeptics,given you looked like a regular human-

Kojiro: You're, um...

S.S Y/n: Intimidating? Awe-inspiring?~

Lu bu: Tiny

S.S Y/n: ....Only to you ya damn lamp post-Of course. I'm travel-size for your convenience! If I was my real size, your cow here would die of fright*Starts to pat

Red Hare*snaps at Your hand*

S.S Y/n*Pulls it back in time and huffs*Down, Bessie

S.S Y/n: My powers are beyond your mortal imagination!*Floats around them and stops with Brunhilde*For instance, my eyes can see straight through your armor*Eyes move towards Brunhilde's chest; she smacks them*Aahyk!-

S.S Y/n: Oooh! All right, that's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family!*Looks at Goll and snaps fingers*Make a note of this: dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow, dis-

Brunhilde covers their mouth with her hand

Brunhilde: Stop. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It was...reflex I've never done this before.

S.S Y/n: Then you're gonna have to trust me. And don't you slap me no more? We clear on that? All right!*Nods seeing the oldest Valkyrie nod at them* Okey-dokey, let's get this show on the road! Goll, get the bags

S.S Y/n*Looks at Red Hare*Let's move it, heifer

Red Hare*Huff at them*

Part 2 of:

[accio-victuuri]

wait.. i’m literally on here or weibo almost 24/7 ( as you can tell lol ) but I feel like i missed something. i’m seeing clowning related to xz’s photos and how it looks like he is a groom and it’s a wedding photoshoot. the place is also famous for wedding shoots ( allegedly, idk. i’m not from there ) so turtles are imagining again. lol. freakin coincidence that wyb’s GRA photoshoot was done at a wedding shop. plus the “wedding outfits” for weibo night. which is all clowning and galaxy braining.🌌

now, we’re joking around, like where’s yibo? he should be taking photos with his partner.

then i see comments that there is this one song WYB recently listened to. meaning, as recent as when XZ flew to singapore which is called 超人不会飞 (superman can’t fly) by Jay Chou. i know WYB and everyone else is a big fan of Jay Chou but the clowning comes from the timing of when he listened to it. let me get to that first.

here is the song if you wanna listen to it. 🎶

turtles are interpreting it as WYB longing to “fly” to where XZ is and be with him but he can’t because of all his work commitments. he wants to take a breather. thinking about what his life is and the constraints, and at times like this, when they spent days in Beijing, but now they have to be apart, it affects him even more.

however when i read the lyrics, it could also be because he can relate to what jay chou is singing about. here’s the english translation i found here. i have bolded the ones i felt like WYB relates too. literally no need for explanation. just read it. It fits with his status in life so much that it’s almost scary.

妈妈说很多事别太计较

ma ma shuo heng duo shi bie tai ji jiao

Mum said one should not be too fussy over most matters

只是使命感找到了我 我睡不着

zhi shi shi ming gan zhao dao le wo wo shui bu zhao

But my sense of mission found me and i can't sleep over it

如果说骂人要有点技巧

ru guo shuo ma ren yao you diao ji qiao

If scolding someone requires some skills

我会加点旋律你会觉得 超屌

wo hui jia diao xuan lu ni hui jue de chao diao

I will add a tune and you will feel it's very cool (diao)

我的枪不会装弹药（弹药）

wo de qiang bu hui zhuang dan yao (dan yao)

My gun is not loaded with ammunition

所以放心不会有人倒（人倒）

suo yi fang xin bu hui you ren dao (ren dao)

So don't worry, nobody will collapse

我拍青蜂侠不需要替身 因为自信是我绘画的颜料

wo pai qing feng xia bu xu yao ti sheng yin wei zi xin shi wo hui hua de yan liao

I don't need a double for The Green Hornet because confidence is the coloring for my painting

我做很多事背后的意义远比你们想象

wo zuo heng duo shi bei hou de yi yi yuan bi ni men xiang xiang

The meaning behind the things I did is far beyond your imagination

拍个电视剧为了友情与十年前的梦想

pai le dian shi ju wei le you qing yu shi nian qian de meng xiang

Filming a tv drama is for friendship and a dream 10 years ago

收视率再高也难抗衡我的伟大理想

shou shi lv zai gao ye nan kang heng wo de wei da li xiang

No matter how high the rating is, it can't match my noble ideal

因为我的人生无需再多一笔那奖项

yin wei wo de ren sheng wo xu zai duo yi bi na jiang xiang

Because my life do not need another award

我不知道何时变成了社会的那榜样

wo bu zhi dao he shi bian cheng le se hui de na bang yang

I don't know when I have become a society's role model

被狗仔拍不能比中指要大器的模样（怎样）

bei gou zai pai bu neng bi zhong zhi yao da qi de mo yang (zen yang)

Can't show the paparazzi the finger and have to put on a magnanimous front

我唱的歌词要有点文化

wo chang de ge ci yao you dian wen hua

The lyrics I sing must have some degree of literacy

因为随时会被当教材

yin wei sui shi hui bei dan jiao cai

Because it might become teaching material anytime

CNN能不能等英文好一点再访

CNN neng bu neng deng ying wen hao yi dian zai fang

Can CNN interview me when my English gets a little better

时代杂志封面能不能重拍

shi dai za zhi feng mian neng bu neng chong pai

Can i reshoot the Time magazine cover

随时随地注意形象

sui shi sui di zhu yi xin xiang

I must take care of my image at all times

要控制饮食不然就跟杜莎夫人蜡像的我不像（本来就不像）

yao kong zhi yin shi bu ran jiu gen du sha fu ren la xiang de wo bu xiang (ben lai jiu bu xiang)

I must control my diet or i won't look like the "me" in Madame Tussauds (it doesn't look like me in the first place)

好莱坞的中国戏院地上有很多手印脚印

hao lai wu de zhong guo xi yuan di shang you heng duo shou yin jiao yin

There are many handprints and footprints at Grauman's Chinese Theatre

何时才能看见我的掌

he shi cai neng kan jian wo de zhang

When will mine be seen there?

如果超人会飞 那就让我在空中停一停歇

ru guo chao ren hui fei na jiu rang wo zai kong zhong ti yi ti xie

If Superman can fly then let me take a breather in the sky

再次俯瞰这个世界 会让我觉得好一些

zai ci fu kan zhe ge shi jie hui ran wo jue de hao yi xie

Overlooking this world again will let me feel better

拯救地球好累 虽然有些疲惫但我还是会

zheng jiu di qiu hao lei sui ran you xie pi bei dan wo hai shi hui

Saving the world is tiring, though I am a little tired, I still will

不要问我哭过了没

bu yao wen wo ku guo le mei

Don't ask me if I have cried

因为超人不能流眼泪

yin wei chao ren bu neng liu yan lei

Because Superman can't cry

唱歌要拿最佳男歌手

chang ge yao na zui jia nan ge shou

(You) must get best male singer award as a singer

拍电影也不能只拿个最佳新人

pai dian yin ye bu neng zhi na ge zui jia xin ren

A newcomer award is not enough if you act

你不参加颁奖典礼就是没礼貌

ni bu can jia ban jiang dian li jiu shi mei li mao

Not attending award ceremonies is considered rude

你去参加就是代表你很在乎

ni qu can jia jiu shi dai biao ni heng zai hu

And if you do, it means you are over-concerned about it

得奖时你感动落泪（落泪）人家就会觉得你夸张做作（做作）

de jia shi ni gan dong luo lei (luo lei) ren jia jiu hui jue de ni kuang zhang zuo zuo

When you won an award and teared, people will think you are fake and exaggerating

你没表情别人就会说太嚣张

ni mei biao qing bie ren jiu hui shuo tai xiao zhang

When you have no expression, others will say you are too arrogant

如果你天生这个表情 那些人甚至会怪你妈妈（妈妈）

ru guo ni tian sheng zhe ge biao qing na xie ren sheng zhi hui guai ni ma ma (ma ma)

And if you are born with that expression, they will even blame your mum

结果最后是别人在得奖 你也要给予充分的掌声与微笑

jie guo zui hou shi bie ren zai de jiang ni ye yao ge yu chong fen de zhang sheng yu wei xiao

In the end someone else gets the award, you also have to give ample applause and smile

开的车不能太好 住的楼不能太高

kai de che bu neng tai hao zhu de lou bu neng tai gao

The car you drive can't be too luxurious nor can you live too high up

我到底是一个创作歌手 还是好人好事代表

wo dao di shi yi ge chuang zuo ge shou hai shi hao ren hao shi dai biao

Am I a singer-songwriter or a representative of good men and good deeds?

专辑一出就必须是冠军

zhuan ji yi chu jiu bi xu shi guan jun

My album must be ranked top once released

拍了电影就必须要大卖

pai le dian yin jiu bi xu yao da mai

My movie must sell well

只能说当超人真的好难

zhi neng shuo dan chao ren zhen de hao nan

I can only say, being a Superman is difficult

如果超人会飞（超人会飞）那就让我在空中停一停歇（停一停歇）

ru guo chao ren hui fei (chao ren hui fei) na jiu rang wo zai kong zhong ti yi ti xie (ti yi ti xie)

If Superman can fly then let me take a breather in the sky

再次俯瞰这个世界 会让我觉得好一些

zai ci fu kan zhe ge shi jie hui ran wo jue de hao yi xie

Overlooking this world again will let me feel better

拯救地球好累（地球好累）虽然有些疲惫但我还是会（我还是会）

zheng jiu di qiu hao lei (di qiu hao lei) sui ran you xie pi bei dan wo hai shi hui (wo hai shi hui)

Saving the world is tiring, though I am a little tired, I still will

不要问我哭过了没

bu yao wen wo ku guo le mei

Don't ask me if I have cried

因为超人不能流眼泪

yin wei chao ren bu neng liu yan lei

Because Superman can't cry

=====

I don’t think there is anything wrong with how cpfs are relating this to cpn cause that’s just how it is. But sometimes, there are other reasons why they do what they do.

SO MY CONFUSION COMES FROM HOW THE HELL DO PEOPLE KNOW WHAT HE RECENTLY LISTENED TO. I can’t seem to dig up how or maybe it’s something we don’t talk about. I have never experienced this kind of tidbit related to them before so I wanna know the source. Or is this like the gaming cpn where certain people know and they will not divulge the boy’s account for privacy? if anyone knows, feel free to comment. If i find out in the future, I will share.

[saltyfruitbat]

Record of Ragnarok Imagines

Not proofread, I made this around like 11am and finished it around midnight 😭

Imagine…

Being Lu Bu’s spouse during the era when he was still alive, he’d come back from a successful hunt and would help you cook whatever he brought back. During the winter, he would wrap you up in furs and blankets, you’d both rest together by the warm fire.

Being Thor’s spouse, the way you captured the room with your shimmering presence was what caught his attention. You befriended him with only one-sided conversations, he enjoyed listening to you, when you spoke passionately about something you enjoyed, he couldn’t stop the small smile from appearing on his face.

Being Poseidon’s spouse, when you were still engaged to each other, he would bring you to his favorite locations in the sea, he loved spending time with you, it always calmed him down. When he married you, he’d give you different colored pearls, all in different forms and shapes to symbolize his unwavering love for you.

Being Kojiro’s spouse, you would wipe away his sweat once he was done with his training, in return he’d make you tea and dango. He’d also liked when you would sit back together and watch the day go by, it made him happy spending his days with the person he cherished most.

Being Jack’s spouse was like being a dream, the way he treated you was like didn’t see anybody else but you, how you treated him, the way you cherished and loved something made him fall in love with you all over again. He enjoyed eating sweets with you and drinking tea, he could never take his eyes off of you and that beautiful shade of color you always displayed.

Being Heracles spouse, he enjoyed it when you called him by his human name, it was something sacred to him and to you. He loves lying his head on your lap while you hum a melody, he loved having small moments with you and would remember the way you smiled and laughed with him.

Being Raiden's spouse and going to his sumo matches, after he’d win, he’d try to find your eyes in the crowed and grin widely at you, afterwards you would feast in all types of food together. Raiden enjoyed having you in his lap, the way you would lean back and relax against him would always make his heart beat so fast, the way you looked so small made you even more precious in his eyes.

Being one of Shiva’s spouses, he’d would gift you many things, all ranging from jewelry to buildings, he even made a giant statue of you. He would always tried to be equal in loving you since you had your co-wives, one thing he loved doing was cuddling with his spouses, he’d wrap you in his arms with your other co-wives.

Being Buddha’s spouse, he enjoyed eating sweets with you, he’d always gave you the ones that you liked the most, he’d buy you handful of candies that you liked. He liked it when you played with his hair while he laid down on your lap, he always kept the braids and the flower crowns you’d make for him.

Being Qin’s spouse, he enjoyed spoiling you even if you were sometimes shy to accept them, he always gave you jewelry that matched with your eyes, and gowns that went well with your skin and matched with his. While sitting on his throne, he’d always have you next to him or on his lap, he wanted people to see that he was the most lucky man to have such a beauty by his side.

Being Hades’s spouse, he would say “I love you” while he held kissed your finger tips, and would say it again while kissing your lips this time. He always adored being with you while Cerberus and you played in your garden, it brought him a sense of peace from being away from his exhausting work life.

Being Beelzebub’s spouse, he at first didn’t want you close to him, scared that the curse would take you away, a person who had such a radiating heart and soul, but he fell in love with your determination to stay with him. Whenever you got sick, he would put everything aside and take take care of you, he’d make sure you were comfortable and would make your favorite food.

Being Nikola’s spouse, he would always make sure to show you his new invention and would question on what you thought about it, he would get nervous when asked for a kiss from you, he’d blush heavily for the next couple of hours. He made you trinkets, one time he made you a flower that opened up with mechanical butterflies, he dedicated many of his inventions to you.

[l0sercat]

Jack, Hermes, Kojiro, Lu Bu, and Buddha walking in on you humping his pillow

Jack

Was away for a while but didn't tell you why

You were lonely and needy

So here you were on top of his pillow humping and rubbing yourself on it

He opened the door quietly trying to surprise you, he heard noises upstairs

He krept up the stairs and heard you moan

He paused and opened the door smirking

There you were humping his pillow like a bitch in heat

He leaned on the doorframe and watched your face contort in pleasure as you cummed all over the pillow

He cleared his throat to signal he was there which startled you making you jump

He walked towards you taking your hands in his and nips on you neck

"You really couldn't last 3days without me?" He chuckles in your ear

He will then proceed to fuck you properly and give you the best head ever

Hermes

Had business with Zeus and Ares so he was gone for a while

When he texted you he'd be home soon so he was surprised when you weren't waiting for him at the door

He walked though the house searching for you

Imagine his surprise when he saw his beloved darling humping his pillow with a flushed face and closed eyes and moaning his name loudly

He smirked and held his chin with his hand and the other on his hip

He noted this in his head for later and just enjoyed the show

When you stopped to catch your breath you saw him standing in the doorway smirking

He gave you a wink and walked up to you and held you down "Couldn't even wait two days, huh?" He kissed along your jaw and gave a peck to your lips "So naughty.." he mumbled and a hand went to play with your sex

He made you cum with his hand before he thrusted himself into you and over stimulate you for hours

Kojiro

Was out training and lost track of time but he knew you would understand but hoped you wouldn't be too mad

He slide open the door and immediately froze when he heard your voice calling his name in bliss

His face heated up and he slowly krept over to you and saw you humping his pillow

His face was red and he started stuttering which alerted you

Your head snapped back and your face was red from pleasure and embarrassment

Kojiro walked closer to you and towered over your figure in a swift movement you were underneath him with him straddling your hips and his hands on each side of your head

His hot breath panned against your face and he licked his lips then he stole your lips with his kissing you sloppily

He parted for air and immediately removed his pants and without warning thrusted into you

He tossed his head back and let out a soft moan, he pulled your legs over his shoulders and picked up the pace; he is going to be fucking you for hours

Lu Bu

He was off fighting and you were left at the camp waiting for him to return

You were waiting for what seemed like forever and you were so needy so you grabbed his pillow and slowly fucked yourself on it and moaned out his name

You pictured yourself riding him instead of his pillow

Lu Bu and his army headed back to the camp, Lu Bu jumped off his horse sighing and rubbing his neck

He opened the tents flap and at first didn't recognize you but looking up he froze for a second and then grinned

He grabbed your shoulder making you yelp

He pinned you underneath him and you could see his cock harden in his pants and you let out a wimper

You were getting wet and really needy "P-please Lu Bu I need you so bad" you squirmed "Your such a needy whore huh?" He said in a low voice

He undid his pants and tore yours off and teased you and made you beg for his cock before he thrusted into you at fucked you at an inhuman pace

Buddha

Buddha was away on a trip which left you lonely and needy

You were thinking of him fucking your mouth which got you wet so you did what anyone would do and you humped his pillow

Your moans echoed off the walls of your shared bedroom and your mind blocked out any sounds including the front door opening and Buddha shouting your name

His brow raised and he called your name again which lead to him frowning and brows furrowed

He heard noises from your bedroom and he headed over and opens the door

His lollipop was crushed in his mouth when he saw the sight of you fucking yourself on his pillow

The stick fell out his mouth and he swallowed the bits and grinned "I wasn't even gone long" he said and chuckled

You squealed and you backed up off the pillow

He walked towards you and tugged off his shirt and jacket

He grabbed your ankle and tugged you towards you towards him, he threw your legs over his shoulders and preceded to eat you out for hours, overstimulating you

[roguerambles]

Options

Record of Ragnarok - Male!Reader

Warnings - Mentions of Adult Situations. Jerkass Gods being Jerkasses.18+ Only.

Image from Google.

So, I may have started Record of Ragnarok yesterday. It’s a bit of slow start, but I find the concept and character designs fascinating, so I’m pretty intrigued!

I’ve also wanted to write Male!Reader for a while, but muse has been pretty low for me lately. I think this helped, because I’ve got some ~ideas~ kicking around in my brain box haha. This is kind of a prologue of sorts for future shenanigans (Most of which involve a son of Aphrodite sleeping his way through Ragnarok, oops-) Enjoy this blasphemy!

-

The Einherjar were delicious.

Oh, you were certain that was not why Brunhilde had selected the champions of humanity, but it hadn’t escaped your notice the men were gorgeous. Some of the most beautiful men in existence, the most skilled, virile warriors to have ever walked the earth were all gathered in one spot, adrenaline in their veins as they prepared for the battle that would decide humanity’s fate.

And there you were. Stuck on the Heavens side of the Arena, where Mother Aphrodite had insisted you remain, completely unable to interact with any of them.

It was so unfair.

“Do stop pouting, darling.” Aphrodite sipped at her chalice of wine, glancing at you over the head of one of her servants. “You’re bringing down the mood somewhat.”

Round One was over, decided in the gods favour. Lu Bu, the Flying General, the Strongest Warrior in the Three Kingdoms, had been defeated, his soul now gone from the Gods Realm. An absolutely glorious specimen of mortal manhood you would now never share a bed with.

Of course you were pouting.

“Am I being punished for something?” You asked glumly, watching as Thor fought his way through the fallen Lu Bu’s army, charging in to avenge their general, or share his fate. The God of Thunder’s muscled body rippled with power as he tore through his attackers like wet paper, and you bit your lower lip, crossing your legs, heat flaring low in your gut, imagining that strength turned to more pleasurable uses.

“Nonsense, darling.” Aphrodite waved her hand dismissively, a smile playing on her lips. “If I was punishing you, I would have told you about the human “incarnation of desire” currently bedding his way through half the arena.”

You liked this man already, and gave your mother a betrayed look. “What did I do?!”

Aphrodite simply smiled, and turned her attention back to the arena. “Consider the options, dear, and I’ll tell you if you’re right.”

You slumped back in you seat, glowering.

It was not as if there was a lack of options on the Heavens side. Aside from Thor himself, Lord Shiva had sat near you and Aphrodite throughout Round One, his naked torso showing off a flawless physique. His biceps were exquisite and practically begged to be caressed, and his four arms and their possible bedroom applications sent your imagination reeling. Heracles was somewhere around, and you had always wanted the opportunity to fully test the God of Fortitude’s stamina…

But everyone was fixated on the damn fighting that all your attempts at flirtation were largely unnoticed.  

So unfair…

But Thor would be celebrating his victory, his blood hot and passions inflamed. Surely Aphrodite wouldn’t object to you going to congratulate him...?

“Mother—”

“Ares, what did you think about the battle?”

You huffed and slumped in your chair as Ares approached, his grumpy expression brightening at your mother’s attention.

You settled for watching the muscles move under Thor’s skin as he began to leave the arena, the bodies of his foes dissolving at his feet. He glanced up into the stands, and you went still as his gaze met yours. For a (only slightly) embarrassing moment you feared he had somehow sensed your thoughts. You caught the tiniest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his stoic mouth, the faintest tilt of his head in acknowledgment, before turning and continuing on his way, quickly disappearing from sight.

Maybe if I’m quiet nobody will notice me sneak away…

You glanced around. Aphrodite was distracted talking with Ares, who at this moment only had eyes for her. Lord Zeus and Hermes were curiously absent from the King’s balcony, and Lord Shiva was gone too. You knew he was meant for Round Two, so you assumed he must have went to prepare.

Perhaps I should wish him good luck…

You slid out of your seat, casting one more look over your shoulder, then slowly crept towards the exit, careful not to make any noise.

Almost…almost…

Your fingers grazed the cool stone doors. You froze in place, waiting for a scolding, but you heard nothing but the murmur of the crowd, of gods chatting eagerly about the upcoming match.

You pushed the door open slowly, just a enough to slip through. It then closed behind you, leaving you in the dim light of the corridor outside.

Yes.

Elation flared within you, and you barely resisted dancing on the spot, your mind already whirling with possibilities. Biting down a grin, you started walking, glad you had decided to wear your most appealing outfit. There was time before the next Round, and plenty of people to spend time with…

It was, after all, good to consider one’s options.

[11queensupreme11]

I was thinking of baby Percy AU again and just thought of what would happen if Poseidon just… lost her in Valhalla. There was an emergency meeting, he forgot babies shouldn’t be left alone. Left unsupervised, Percy promptly toddled off towards the sunset (the human side of Valhalla) and gets lost amongst the masses. The encounters I’m picturing:

Leonidas chilling in his hammock, reading his book and drinking his wine only to reach down (to get a refill) and grab a baby instead of a bottle. There’s a baby lost in the Sparta training grounds and this man is panicking.

Adam eating his grapes with his family only for his ears to pick up the unmistakable sound of a baby babbling nonsense. He stands immediately and, without saying a single word to his wife or sons, just runs off and comes back cradling a giggling baby which he promptly places on his lap while saying ‘our daughter now’. His family only nods and goes back to what they were doing, as if this is completely normal (it probably is)

Nikola Tesla finds a baby playing among the detritus of his last failed experiment and decides he has found a new student to teach the art of Science(tm) to. She can’t even speak yet? No matter! It’s never too early to learn! Besides, don’t you know babies’ brains are like sponges?? He can teach her so much!

Sasaki Kojiro is out there in the wilderness, becoming one with nature (or whatever it is that he does when he’s not training - is there a time when that man ever stopped?) only to all but trip over a baby lost in the woods. What does a man who only has swords in his mind do?? Why, hand her a stick and teach her how to swing it.

(Almost predictably, Lu Bu does the exact same thing except they meet on the edge of a cliff and he tells her to aim at the sky)

Qin Shi Huang finds a baby blocking his path and instead of doing something normal (like stopping to make sure she’s alright, look around for the parents maybe), simply picks her up, at once recognizes her as a princess (royalty recognizes royalty) and continues on his merry way (he’s heading towards his adoptive mom’s house to show off the new subject/little sister he picked up on the way - he’s gonna teach her everything she needs to know about ruling).

Raiden finds baby Percy in a restaurant - specifically, he finds her well-fed round little body sitting inside a (now empty) plater she had crawled inside of when no one was looking. Raiden orders another plate and the two enjoy a very pleasant lunch together before he takes her back to the sumo training area so she can watch him wrestle everyone into the ground. Percy’s clapping the whole time.

Jack finds her lost and whimpering while skulking around in dark alleyways and, being the gentleman he is, immediately kneels down to offer her a handkerchief, picking her up and looking around for any sign of the parents (lmao, just realized he’s the only one in this list alongside Leo who’s going to make his top priority be finding Percy’s guardian first)

Meanwhile, at the god’s side of Valhalla:

Hades: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST HER.

Poseidon: I told her to stay put.

Hades: SHE’S A BABY POSEIDON.

Poseidon: And? I was a baby once too and followed orders perfectly.

Zeus: and look how you turned out.

(They enlist Anubis to track her down)

THE RAIDEN ONE WHERE SHE EATS EVERYTHING ON THE PLATTER AKSJFJHFBV I CAN JUST IMAGINE HER CHUBBY CHEEKS 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

and the nikola one.... i feel like she's actually grow up with more than one brain cell if nikola's the one that raises her (full offense to poseidon lol)

I LOVE EVERY SCENARIO HERE SO MUCH. THE ADAM ONE IS ACTUALLY PRETTY CLOSE TO WHAT HAPPENS IN ACT TWO LOL

i bet you after this incident, they're gonna create the "percy alert". its basically the amber alert, but it's only to look for percy lmao 💀

[monochrome-cropcrown]

What do you think of Daddy Leonidas? 🤣😊

Roygiri Roygiri.... You don't know what you just asked don't you?

Let's start with something.... appropriate first shall we~

When people said that "King Leonidas" is a Spartan soldier & king, I expected his design to be a classic Greek armory or royal gettup like Qin or maybe Ares. But when he showed up with a whole ass more modern attire, let me tell you I choked on air when I first saw him. It took me minutes to process everything, and when I do, I freaking love his design.

It makes sense since he's one of the oldest Einherjar and died in the early history (aside from Adam) so he sorta watched how war these days evolve and he increases his military training to adapt with modern wars.

We don't have a complete description of his personality yet, so we'll just have to wait. But with what we have for now, lovely Leonidas girlies headcannon him as a rude and brute hunk, but deep down is a gentle teddy bear who actually cares for others. 😊☺️

Also, I have high hopes for his backstory later.I know nothing about Spartan history/mythology, so I sorta imagine his story to be like Lu Bu's or maybe Kojiro's - their ways of honing their skills and fighting are different from norm. But if Ajichika-sensei writes a tragic story for him, I don't mind either. What matters is how it will turn out.

Now that aside, let's move to the inappropriate ✨✨ part~

OH HAVE MERCY I'M ABOUT TO BUST

I WANT HIM TO FUCK ME SO HARD THAT THE BED BREAKS

THERE'S NO "TILL"

WE DOING IT ALL NIGHT ALL DAY LONG

FUCK ME EVEN IF I PASSED OUT DADDY

WOOF WOFF WOFF BARK BARK WOOF

OH YOU LIKE CATS? MEEEOW MEOW MEEOOWWW MEOW MEOOW MEEEOWWWW

THOS TATASS SO FAT SO SQUISHABLE LET ME SQUISH JUST ONE SQUISH DADDY I MEAN SIR

[lafrexniere]

Luca Fantilli - Free Time

The goal horn thundered throughout Amalie Arena after this entire season of memories being made Michigan had lost to Quinnipiac and it was over. You saw the heartbreak of your hockey family, as the boys filed through the handshake line before heading back to their respective ends. You tried to keep your emotions pushed down to put on a smile for your boyfriend Luca, you knew how upset he would be after going this far his freshman year, especially with it being an overtime loss to end his season.

You waited with the other families to get to the locker room after the game ended, and people began to file out of the arena. You stood with the Fantillis and waited until you saw Adam walk out of the locker room. He showed a half smile with red eyes, then looked back down at the ground dropping his things and slowly walking to his parents. You watched the family hug, feeling a little awkward and bad for Adam, if he was like this you couldn’t imagine how Luca would be. The family hug broke apart, and Adam turned to face you. You opened your arms, for him to fall into,

“Thanks, Y/N,” he sniffled.

“Of course Adam, I’m sorry about the game,” you said as you let go. He wiped his eyes as you waited for Luca to come out of the locker room. You watched a few more players walk out then there he was, your sweet boy a mess. He like Adam walked over to the Fantillis hugging them with Adam joining in, then the two brothers hugged, making you start to get emotional. Luca looked up from Adam’s shoulder seeing you standing behind him. He let go of Adam and wiped his eyes as if he was embarrassed to be seen crying in front of you. He slowly approached you, clearing his throat.

“Come here, Lu,” you held out your arms. He fell into your arms sniffling, as the tears all started again. No embarrassment, no judgment, just being there for him through this tough time. You played with his hair as his head rested on your shoulder, and you rubbed his back with your other hand. Your hug broke apart after a moment, you kept your arm on his back, as he kept his arm around you. You walked down the hallway all the way to the exit of the arena where the Quinnipiac fans were waiting to taunt the team. You screamed back at those taunting and yelling at you as you got Luca to the bus. The boys threw their things underneath and got on,

“I’ll see you later babe,” Luca said. The door closed behind him, you waved goodbye as the bus pulled away. 

You got to the hotel and saw a few of the boys sitting in the lobby, Adam was one of them. He smiled and waved when he saw you,

“Room 307 Y/N,” he said, “we couldn’t get him to come down, so hopefully you can cheer him up.” You nodded and headed towards the elevator. On your trip up to the third floor, you thought about how to approach Luca. The doors slid open giving you less time to think. You walked down the hall to the room waiting outside the door for a minute, you were about to knock when the door opened.

“Oh hey Y/N,” he said.

“Going somewhere?” you asked.

“Not anymore, I was gonna look for Adam he wasn’t answering me but, now you’re here.” He smirked and grabbed your hand pulling you into the room, and shutting the door behind you. He let go of you and flopped on his bed. He let out a dramatic sigh, staring at the ceiling.

“Lu?” He turned his head to look at you. He gave you an annoyed look, then went back to staring at the ceiling.

“What babe?”

“I know you’re upset.” With that statement, he snapped up. He sat up and turned to face you,

“I’m just disappointed, you know for the older guys, it’s hard.” He patted the bed next to him, you sat down. 

“I know that’s not it, what’s on your mind?” Luca went silent. You put your hand on his hand that was resting on his thigh. He looked at you and locked his fingers with yours.

“I don’t know, it just went so fast Y/N, I wanted that winning feeling to last a little longer,” he gave a half smile and shrugged.

“Are you reading my mind? I was literally thinking that earlier,” you laughed.

“I guess we are feeling the same thing,”

“Yeah,” he rubbed his thumb on your hand. You kicked off your shoes and lied down back on the bed, sighing. He lied next to you, gazing into your eyes. You pulled his head onto your chest, playing with his hair. He closed his eyes and smiled,

“You know Lu, it’s not so bad,” he rolled over on his stomach to be lying on top of you. You continued playing with his hair as he looked at you.

“I guess, don’t know what’ll do with all my free time, hmm maybe video games with the boys all the time, as well as school work obviously,” he smirked.

“Woah bud, you forgetting anything”

“No I don’t think so,” he teased.

“Don’t play dumb Fantilli,” you rolled your eyes. He grinned, raising his eyebrows, then scooted closer to your face. He placed his hand on your cheek, locking his lips with yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer which was impossible. You both gasped for air, as you ran out of breath, locking your lips once more, your hands moved from his neck to his back. You held him tightly as you broke apart once more. He opened his eyes smiling,

“Maybe I’ll make some time for that too,” he said, moving off your chest to the space on the bed next to you.

“Oh, you think?”

“Shut up,” he laughed, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Okay okay, did I cheer you up though?” you asked grinning.

“I don’t know, I’m still a little upset,” he gave you puppy dog eyes.

“What am I gonna do with you babe?” you sighed. 

“This.” He pulled your face to him once again pressing his lips to yours, putting his other arm around you, and pulled you into his chest. You ruffled his hair, as the kiss deepened. 

“More time with my girl,” he said.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” you smiled.

________________________________________________

The past few posts have been my pictures and I'm almost out of pics to use which is making me sad

[texasthoughtsaboutnothing]

The Stranger and my thoughts on where each LCB Sinner is at (Long)

Hey, I actually sat down and read L'etranger, Meursault's source novel. I've got some fucking feelings about it, especially relating it to Limbus Company and what it might mean for his Canto in like 2 years.

Firstly, you should read or listen to this book. It's short, surprisingly punchy, and easy to follow. I (probably) don't have autism but I can absolutely see a read of this where the character does or is neurodivergent in some other way; beyond his relationship and evaluation of social queues and norms he also seems to deal with sensory issues. There are better people than me who should talk about this and I'm probably not adding a lot to the conversation but keeping this reading in my head for the climax added an extra layer of discomfort (intentional discomfort for the benefit of the story's message, I should say) to the whole book. But It's worth experiencing even if you disagree with that reading or have a different one.

Limbus Brainrot/Spoiler stuff from here on in.

There's always the question of where exactly each Sinner is in their story as they're on the bus. Their stories have been reinterpreted and/or jumbled in ways that make it fun to guess, so to go over each Sinner and where they are based on what we know or my theories:

Yi Sang - I'm not gonna front, I don't really get The WIngs, but this seems like a Good End AU for him. He already escaped his "Wife's" control and the sunless room and is now flying again (metaphorically, or maybe literally? i dont know help me).

Faust - Likely in the middle of the part where she's using Mephistopheles' power to do good in the world and prior to her being damned to hell. Side note, she's last to get a Canto and I bet it's not a coincidence that (afaik) she and Dante are the only two with Hell in their stories directly. My long shot call is that Faust is also Beatrice and there will be so much DantexFaust ship art in 2026.

Don Quixote - The biggest enigma. La Sangre de Sancho has gripped the imagination of the fandom and I am no exception. She's next after Heathcliff so we'll get her some time in August at the latest and I can't wait. My best guess is she's currently gallivanting and will be forced home in her Canto, assuming Don is Sancho theory isn't true. Praying her Canto is called The Impossible.

Ryoshu - In Hell Screen, the reason the painter is obsessed with torture is that he can only paint what he has seen and is trying to paint the Buddhist Hell. In his quest for his art he destroys his life and those around him, and ends up committing suicide over it. But there is a villain in the form of the Lord who beyond driving the story by requesting the screen in the first place is guilty of SA and murder. I'm expecting we're post story; the Lord is related to the five fingers, the daughter might be recast as a friend or something, and the sword Ryoshu carries is likely the screen. Nothing revolutionary in my guesses here, but it's either going to be that straight-forward or insanely abstract, where she's the lord and the painter and the daughter and the screen and the sword is the monkey or some shit.

Hong Lu - I have not yet read Dream of a Red Chamber, it's next on the list. Forgive me!

Heathcliff - Oh boy. Like many, I expect he is post-spurning by Catherine and is on his journey for his fortune on the LCB. So, his Canto will be about coming home to a beloved who is with someone else. Yes, the beloved blorbo will suffer for my amusement. Let's go 3 hours Heathmael sex scene!

Ishmael - We now know her story already kinda happened, as many expected, making this a bizarre sequel to Moby Dick. I think it gave PM a lot of room to do whatever they wanted to while still sticking to the themes of the story. Already wrote about what I loved about this and the recontextualizing of Ahab as a whale unto herself (which I don't actually know if it's in the original novel, but it wouldn't surprise me).

Rodion - A weird one. Her inciting incident happened, the murdering of the landlord/pawnbroker, but the unintentional death of the innocent sister was shifted to the entire damn block. So if I had to guess she's in the period after her crime trying to avoid being caught, but no police officer allegory has really been introduced yet. I read Crime and Punishment years ago so I can't say for certain but it feels the most loosely adapted and suffers a tad for being part of the intro. Rodya's story is in no way finished so it's up in the air. Praying for a Petrovich just so people can meet the OG Columbo.

Sinclair - Still need to read Demian, but I have a rough understanding of the plot. Also unfinished in his story, Sinclair has a long way to go to his self-realization. This feels more intentional however, I remember someone made an observation of Cinqlair as representative of his drunken college years where he's popular but unfulfilled, and I think we can extend that to all of his IDs. He seems to have the most potential of all the Sinners, so much so that I wouldn't be surprised if there's a mirror world where he's a Color unto himself. I digress, the point is he's pre Frau Eva (who if she turn's out to be the Purple Tear I will lose my mind) who is also called Beatrice at some point so what's up with that PM?

Outis - Another big mystery, especially as she isn't Odysseus but Outis, a name referencing a particular part of the Odyssey with the Cyclops. I have to imagine she's on the Odyssey, journeying home after the Smoke War (which might have some parallels with the Trojan War beyond the obvious). It's interesting all the Greek myth named Abnormalities are Hospital themed, might be something there but nothing I can parse from my limited knowledge of Greek society and folklore. While she' might be a traitor, I'm thinking she's joined Limbus Company to hide while on her journey; she might be wanted dead by something and is concealing her identity after what happened in the war.

Greg - Again, a character post-story. He was locked in a room, he metamorphized, and... well he's alive? So we've diverged from the source novel, as it's taken the allegorical meanings and made them more literal, but Hermann is still around and a major player so who knows where this will go?

Meursault - I have so many thoughts. Meursault could be anywhere in his story, but I'm going to guess it's one of two places. First guess, we're completely pre story. His Canto opens with him getting a message that Maman died today, or maybe yesterday, he doesn't know. So the whole story plays out over the course of the Canto. But more likely, and my prediction, is that he's currently in "jail" awaiting his execution or acquittal. He has already murdered a man (or done some other crime) and instead of being tried for that, he has been tried and sentenced for his peculiarities of character. Bound in the chains of others, the multitudes have tightened their hold (I'm very clever and not cringe at all).

So I have to wonder what light blinded him, overwhelmed him so much that it led to his crime? The Bright Nights and Dark Days are an obvious choice, and I'm not the first to suggest it. Perhaps he distorted? Anyway, his story ends with him having given up on acquittal and instead hoping for a crowd of people hating him as he approaches the guillotine. I'm super interested in how this will play out in Limbus, especially as he must survive for gameplay purposes.

Also, Meursault is so horny. Like, oh my god. Half of his thoughts are of Marie, specifically of wanting her and all the connotations that contains. He spurns God in the face of a Chaplain, saying that He is worth nothing compared to a single hair on a woman's head. Meursault is not a romantic but not just some horndog either, his desire for sex and women and their bodies feels like an extension of his worldview centered on the immediacy of life and not just debauchery or hedonism. It's a part of the idea life is lived as today, yesterday, and tomorrow, and there is joy and happiness in that simplicity. I feel like this will get cut for Limbus but I hope it isn't, I want Meursault to casually admit he desires every Sinner on the bus carnally (yes the men and NB too, probably just a HC but I do believe that the City is a binormative society based on its already loose relationship to gender identity).

So uh, that's the thoughts so far. Merry Christmas, I guess.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

You ever see those grandparent videos where the parent brings their newborn into the house, without the grandparent knowing they were born yet? Imagine adult! Reader inviting everyone in and to their knowledge she hasn’t gone into labor yet but to their surprise the baby is right there.

Bonus points if it’s multiple babies like twins or triplets and the family had no idea until the reveal.

-Your family was waiting for you and your husband to arrive, it was the normal routine for Saturday, when you both would come over, there would be a big barbeque or meal, and you would get to spend time with the massive family you called your own.

-It had been a little difficult for you lately as you had been pregnant up until just a few days ago, but only Brunnhilde and Eve knew this, as you had called them, letting them know but asking them to keep it a secret, as you wanted to surprise everyone with your twins.

-They agreed to keep it quiet only if they got to hold the babies first, which you and your husband agreed to while trying not to laugh, the four of you plotting the surprise.

-You arrived quietly and Brunnhilde was waiting by the side door so you both could sneak in the back door to drop off your babies in a side room to get them ready, getting them out of their carriers.

-Eve told everyone else that you both were here, but when Loki spoke up after running to the door, wanting to get a hug first, he pouted when he saw neither of you there, “Where are they?” she just smiled warmly, “Y/N had to run to the bathroom.��

-They all nodded in understanding, as you were due any day now, as Hermes questioned, “Is it a good idea for her to be traveling right now?”

-Brunnhilde was recording before she gave you both the signal. Your husband walked out, holding your daughter, before you walked out, holding your son, “I’m fine.”

-Everyone turned, their eyes growing to the size of dinner plates, except for Eve and Brunnhilde as you grinned warmly as the house was shaking with screams and cries.

-Your daughter got a bit fussy at the sound, almost crying which made everyone hold their hands to their lips, silencing their cries as your husband rocked her.

-Your babies were being handed around, everyone enjoying the new additions to the family as you were relaxing, sitting curled up next to your husband who was grinning, recording now.

-Obnoxiously crying, unable to stop their tears as they held one or the other of your babies, unable to form any coherent words as they would look down at the baby, then to you, babbling nonsense while sniffling loudly, which made you giggle warmly.

            -ARES, LOKI, Apollo, Nikola, Zerofuku, and Goll

-Only let a few happy tears slip out as they talked to your babies, talking so softly and sweetly, before turning to you and your husband, calling you both gremlins for pranking them, then turning back to your babies. They are overjoyed to see you and your babies, but how could you not tell them you had your babies already?!

            -Adam, Zeus, Hades, Kojiro, Jack, Hercules, Hermes, Aphrodite, Shiva, Raiden, Eve, Brunnhilde, and the rest of the Valkyries

-Panicking, please don’t hand him a baby, he doesn’t know how to hold one! You sit next to him, guiding him how to hold your son who smiled up at him, babbling cutely which immediately made him melt, even if he didn’t show it. You can’t help but lean into him, seeing his rare soft smile.

            -Thor, Lu Bu, Beelzebub, and Poseidon

-Expert baby holder, can easily put your children to sleep, all while trying to hide their smile that they were so good at it, despite others calling them out on it because they want to know how good there are, but they’re not revealing their secrets so easily, which causes you to laugh.

            -Leonidas, Buddha, Qin Shi Huang, and Odin