#luca fantilli angst

[bbrissonn]

𝐚𝐥𝐥-𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 - 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐢

summary: in which no matter how much you tried, you were never good enough for him and you decide it was time for things to get messy within the hockey team

disclaimer: english is not my first language and this is not proofread so please excuse any errors and if any words are missing add them in your head :) also this is a work of fiction, this doesn’t reflect how these boys act in real life, and it isn’t how i imagine them acting 

warnings: angst, swearing , not proofread  

pairing: luca fantili x reader

wc: 5.4k (including lyrics)

a/n: i gave some guys on the team a girlfriend, completely random name so don't go trying to find them lol

guts masterlist

I am light as a feather, I’m as stiff as a board

I pay attention to things that most people ignore

And I’m alright with the movies

That make jokes ‘bout senseless cruelty, that’s for sure

And I am built like a mother and a total machine

I feel for your every little issues, I know just what you mean

And I make light of the darkness

I’ve got sun in my motherfuckin’ pocket, best believe

Yeah, you know me, I

You tried, you really did. You took note of every little things he’d mention, hoping that it would be useful in the long run, hoping he’d noticed how much you cared about him. You waited and waited and waited, but it never happened. All the efforts you made to be the perfect girlfriend for him always went unnoticed, brushed to the side. 

You always made sure you looked your best whenever you’d go to his game, wanting to fit the role of the stereotype hockey girlfriend, even though you were far from it. Your body wasn’t as slim and fit as the others and you didn’t have a model like face, but Luca always though you were perfect. You didn’t believe most of time, there were hundreds of girl, prettier girls, that would jump at the occasion to be his girlfriend, so why had he chosen you? 

You went to every single home game, even if it’d meant you’d have to stay up late to do homework, you even went to the games at Michigan State. You were always there to support him, but he was never there for you. You knew it was hard for him to always be free, not having access to his phone for a solid three hours during the afternoon, and when he’d get back to his dorm, he’d fall asleep right away. You never really saw him much during the days, with him having all his classes in the morning, while yours were mainly in the afternoon, nights were the only time you could see each other. 

Even when you spent time together, it was rarely alone. He was close to all his teammates and apparently spending all afternoon together wasn’t enough for them and they always needed to spend their nights together. You two barely ever got alone time, but you tried not to think about it too much since Luca was always more focused on you than his teammates sprawled around his shared dorm room. 

His teammates liked you, you were nice to all of them the moment you met them and they could see how much Luca liked you. Some of them didn’t really understand what he saw in you, something you wish you didn’t know as you overheard them one night during a get together at the senior house. 

You had been outside for a while now, talking to your mom on the phone as you walked around the small backyard of the senior house. Luca was with you for the first couple of minutes of your call, talking to your mom a bit before heading back inside and letting you have alone time with her. As you started making your way back to the backdoor, you saw a couple of figures standing there, nothing unsual. You were planning on just walking past them, smiling at them and letting them go along with their conversation until you heard your name. 

“Wait, who are we talking about again?” Dylan asked the others, before taking a sip of his beer. 

“Y/n.” You heard Johnny answer, and you stopped dead in your tracks. You knew you shouldn’t, it was wrong, but you couldn’t help it. They couldn’t see you since you were on the side of the porch, and no lights were they, you were like a ghost. 

“Oh, yeah, totally agree with you man. Don’t get me wrong, she’d nice and all, but like she barely ever talks.” The Duke boy said, making a couple other guys agree with him. 

“Exactly, what does he even see in her, anyways?” One of them said, making your smile drop. 

“She’s just shy, doesn’t like big groups, that’s all. Once you get to know her, she’s always talking, it’s great ‘cause Luca leaves me alone now. She’s makes him happy, that’s all the really matters.” You recognized Adam say, making your smile grow a little. Over the last six months, you had grown quite close to your boyfriend’s little brother, and hearing him defend you warmed your heart. 

“Dude, all we’re saying is he could do better.” 

“Whatever, I’m going back inside.” Adam said, and soon you heard the door open and all the figures disappeared. You stood there for a while, thinking about everything that you had heard. Your feelings being hurt a little before shaking it all off and walking back inside, quickly finding your boyfriend, who was standing with his brother. 

You never told Luca, or any of them that you had heard their conversation. You knew Luca would get mad at his teammates, and that was the last thing you wanted. You did realize that after that night, Adam started being even nicer to you, always telling you how happy you made your brother, and how thankful he was that you were the one making him this happy. He truly felt like your own little brother in a way.

But something in you changed that day, whenever you’d be having the smallest interaction with any of them, there would always be a voice in the back of your mind reminding you of that conversation. So, you didn’t make much effort to become good friends with any of them, clearly most of you didn’t even think you should be dating their teammate so why would they want to be friends with you? 

Luca wasn’t exactly happy that you weren’t that close to anyone, but you were with Adam, so he considered it a win. He always reminded himself that just because his teammates were his best friend didn’t mean they had to be yours too, he just happy none of them hated you. 

As time went by, you’d now notice some of the weird looks his teammates would give themselves whenever you’d hug Luca after their game, or when you’d be with him at a party and his arms was always around you. But you didn’t let it bother you, you were happy in your relationship, you didn’t need the opinion of other’s, and honestly, they didn’t really have a right to be judging two people for being in love with one another. 

You didn’t know whether or not your boyfriend knew about how some of his best friends felt about your relationship, but you really hoped he didn’t. If he did, it would break you, that he knew what his friends were saying and thinking, but didn’t defend you like his brother had, or that he hadn’t told you about it. 

That all changed one cold night in February.

You were currently standing outside of the Yost arena, Luca had texted you barely minutes before telling you to go wait outside for him. You didn’t really understand why, considering how cold it was, but you did anyways. No one else was around, all the spectators had left almost an hour ago, and all the other girlfriends were waiting inside, in the warmth of the arena. 

“Hey.” You heard your boyfriends voice, making you turn around with a bright smile. 

“Hi, baby. You played amazing!” You told him, rushing over to his warm body and hiding in his arms. The boy chuckled a bit before wrapping his arms around you. 

“I need to talk to you about something.” He mumbled after a couple of seconds, making you pull away from his body. Your hands reached down to his arms, that had fallen from your shoulders, your mittens covered hands holding his bare ones. 

“What’s up, loves?” You asked, only to be met with a sigh from him. Your smile dropped right away, what was going on? 

“I need you to know that I am sorry, okay?” You nodded slightly, confused as to why he was saying that. “I think it’d be better if we weren’t together anymore.”

“What?” 

“I just- I need to focus on hockey, and school.” 

“Oh.” You whispered, your hands letting go of his and falling next to your body. A heavy sigh left your mouth as you tried your hardest not to cry. “O-okay.” 

“So, we’re good?” His question broke you. Not you weren’t, you were far from good. The boy you had fallen in love with in early September had just broken up with you, how were you supposed to be okay with that?

“We’re good.” You lied. Luca smile brightly before giving you and small hug, and before you knew it, he was gone. You were left all alone outside in the freezing cold as he headed back to his friends, ready to enjoy their night, while you were left heartbroken. 

Maybe his friends were right after all…

Forgive and I forget

I know my age and I act like it

Got what you can’t resist

I’m a perfect all-American

The next week was hell, everywhere you went, you’d see one of his teammates. It was like they had all mutually agreed to just be everywhere you were, follow you around just to make you remember every single second of every day that your relationship with Luca was over. 

But clearly he hadn’t even told him, the text from Adam asking if you two had gotten into a fight since you hadn’t been to their dorm in a couple of days, and Luca was talking about everything but you. Your feelings were hurt a little, that he wasn’t even acting like your break-up fazed him at all, like everything in his life was perfect. It hurt even more that you had to be the one to break to news to his brother, scared that Adam would choose to break off all links of communication the two of you had. 

Luckily for you, he didn’t, if anything, to him it just gave you an extra reason to become even closer to him. He knew how much you loved his brother and how much Luca loved you, so he truly didn’t understand why his older brother had done it in the first place. Just because you and Luca weren’t together anymore, didn’t mean you had to lose him too, were his exact words. You knew in that moment that you had a real friend in Adam, one that you wanted to keep for the rest of your life. 

You hadn’t gone to any hockey game after that, no matter how much Adam begged, you weren’t ready to go back to the place where your relationship ended. But when the team had made it to the semi-finals of the big ten championship, facing off again Ohio State, you knew you had to be there. Even though you weren’t physically at the games, you were still watching from home, your heart dropping every time Luca’s name would be mentioned. 

Being back felt weird, it was a place you had grown so fond off, watching your boyfriend and your so-called friends play the sports they love with each other, befriending all the other girlfriends, it was truly special. But it was so different now, you felt like you didn’t belong here anymore. Adam had tried to convince you to seat in the same seat Luca always had for you, but you didn’t want to, not wanting to face all the other girlfriends yet. 

You came with your best friends, so you wouldn’t be alone, and made sure to be near the back rows, you knew the boys always liked to spot people in the crowds, and you didn’t want them to know you were here. You had made Adam promise not to tell anyone you were here, and that you’d wait for him after the game in your car all the way at the end of the parking lot. He was the only one on the team you wanted to see tonight, you came here for him and only him, and because your best friends wouldn’t shut up about going. 

Unknown to you, Luca had spotted you the minute he stepped onto the ice. He hated to admit it, but his eyes still searched for you in the crowd, only he was always met with disappointment when he would not find you. Tonight was different, you were here. Part of him felt like he should be happy you were, or even sad, seeing as it was the first he’d seen you since the break-up. But he wasn’t, no he was angry. Why? He didn’t know. 

After the game ended, with Adam getting two goals and two assists, your friends had gone home right away, tired from all the yelling they had done during the night. So, you waited alone in your car, making sure to park right under a street light so Adam could spot you easily, and so you could see if any weirdos were approaching. 

Luca had left before his brother, Johnny and Gavin walking next to him as they walked out of Yost, and that’s when he saw your car. He knew he should’ve just ignored it, kept walking home, but he couldn’t. He knew you were here for his brother and him only, Adam had told him after Luca corned him after the warm ups. The right thing was to just leave you alone, pretend he didn’t see you, but his legs were moving faster than his brain was. 

The loud knock on your window made you jump, yelping at bit at the sound. You looked to your left, only to be met with an angry Luca. You bit your lip slightly before rolling down your window enough so you two could hear each other. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He asked. His tone was harsh and mean, something you had never heard from him before. 

“I am here for Adam, so if you don’t mind, I’d like for you to step away from my car and leave me alone.” You answered him, matching his tone. If he wanted to be a bitch to you after he broke up with you, then he better be expecting the same energy back. 

“You shouldn’t be here.” 

“And who are you to be telling me this? Last time I checked, this is a public parking lot, so I have every right to be here.” You said, you knew that wasn’t what he meant, but you didn’t care. He had no right to walk over here, and talk to you like this. 

“You know that’s not what I fucking meant.” 

“Am I not allowed to cheer for my school? Is that illegal now, Luca?” You said harshly. Luca’s eyes were staring into yours, and you could tell he was holding back from yelling, which scared you a little. 

“You have some nerves-” 

“Oh, I have some nerves? You broke up with me, Luca, not the other way around, and your stupid if you think that’s gonna stop me from coming to see Adam play. I am not here because I wanted to see, if that’s what you’re thinking. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for Adam. So, get whatever stick you have shoved up your ass out of it and leave me alone.” You said firmly before closing your window and going back on your phone. Luca started knocking over and over on your window, but you didn’t move. You were done with this for the night. After about a minute or two, the boy ended up sending you a text, making you roll your eyes. 

Luca 

ur so fucking petty omg, grow the fuck up and get out of your car

You let out a scoff before turning to look at him with a ‘are you serious’ face. If you were being petty, you didn’t even know what word was describing him at the moment. Thankfully, Adam arrived and the two of them began bickering like little children until the older boy eventually walked away, not before sending you a death glare, and the younger one joined you in your car. 

You started driving immediately, neither of you talked, but you feel Adam’s gaze on you every once in a while. This was exactly why you didn’t want to come to the games before, something was bound to go wrong. 

“I am sorry.” He mumbled after a couple of minutes as the car was stopped at a red light. When you turned your head to look over at him, his eyes were already looking in your direction. 

“It’s whatever. He’s an asshole.” 

I am light as a feather, I’m as fresh as the air

Coca-Cola bottles that I only use to curl my hair

I got class and integrity

Just like a goddamn Kennedy, I swear

With love to spare, I

About a week later, you were laying in bed, your laptop on your lap as you watched the team celebrate their win. Adam had played wonderfully and you couldn’t be prouder of him. Your heart still dropped a little every time the commentators would mention Luca, and even more when they showed the boys after the game. 

You knew it was wrong, you shouldn’t be thinking this way, but you couldn’t help it. He looked so good with his slightly damp hair, the wide smile on his face as he hugged all of his best friends making you smile as well. But you quickly reminded yourself of what he had done and said, making you close your laptop in a heartbeat. 

You then sent a text to Adam, congratulating him for their victory before going to bed. Well, you just laid in bed in the dark, your phone’s screen being the only source of light. Adam answered you almost an hour later, thanking you and saying he’d call you the next morning. You went to sleep not too long after answering him, wishing him a good night and a safe flight home. 

It was almost noon when the younger Fantili boy called you the next day, you could tell he had gone to bed very late, well early this morning. His voice was still a little stuffy like he had just woken up, making you giggle. The two of you chated for a while before he informed you the hockey team was throwing a party that was pretty much open to all students. He hadn’t invited you directly, but made sure to state very clearly that you were always welcomed if you wanted to stop by for a bit. 

You almost laughed at his words, he was a little delusional if he though you’d like the spend the night with your drunk ex who’d probably be making out with a girl the whole time. He was a little sad when you told him you probably wouldn’t come, but he understood, especially after whatever Luca had said to you last week. 

Weirdly enough though, as the clock hit seven at night, you were standing in your bathroom, getting ready for said party. Why? Revenge. You knew deep down what you were about to do was fucked up, but you didn’t care. They deserved it, all of them, Luca more than the other, but they still did. All those people who pretended to be your friend, only to act like you didn’t even exist the moment you and Luca broke up. Not to mention that conversation you over heard was constantly replaying in your head since your break-up. Yeah, they deserved it. 

Realistically, your plan wasn’t that mean, you’d just be ruining a night celebrating a victory they had worked so hard for during  the whole season. You had gotten some information through Adam that the boys always “shit talked” some of the other girlfriends, of course without mentioning what you had heard from them. Long story short, at least one of them all had a problem with someone’s girlfriend, but they never said anything to the boyfriends. Pretty fake in your opinion, because truth be told, they weren’t really brothers like they always said, they didn’t like some at least. 

When you walked into the senior house, the place wasn’t that full, but this wasn’t any surprise to you considering it had started almost four hours ago already and most people had probably went home by now. Finding Adam was pretty easy, he was in the kitchen refilling his cup when you gently tapped his shoulder. A wide smile appeared on his face when his eyes met yours and his arms quickly wrapped around your waist. 

“You came?” He asked surprised as the two of you pulled away and he grabbed an empty clean cup for you. 

“Got a little bored, I guess.” You told him, filling your cup with water. You hadn’t came here to get drunk out of your mind like all the others here, you came here with an endgame. 

“Well ‘m glad you did. I think I saw that girl you always talk about from your English class, you-” 

“Cool, I’ll go find her!” You lied before walking away from him. Honestly, you didn’t really care that she was here, your eyes not bothering to find her as you walked through the house, spotting the group of girlfriends immediately. They were all chatting between them, but quickly stopped when they realized you were standing there. 

“Oh, please, don’t let my presence disturb your little conversation.” You said with a smirk, only making all of them look at you with weird looks. 

“What’re you doing here?” Ethan’s girlfriend, Hailey, asked. The two of you were never really close, same with Nolan’s girlfriend, Taylor. 

“I just really wanted to say how it’s so cute that you’re all able to be friends with each other and like one another, unlike all the guys. Real cute.” 

“The fuck does that mean?” This time it was Jacob’s girlfriend, Bianca, who spoke. You looked over at her, sending a massive grin before answering. 

“I am just saying, some of them are real good at pretending to be your friends, but then go shit talk about you to each other.” You said, before showing them the text message Adam had sent you. It clearly stated that they all talked about the other guys’ girlfriends badly, but never in front of whoever they were dating. Clearly just showing that they’re “we’re brothers” thing they’d always say whenever a new girlfriend was introduced was complete bullshit. 

“How do we know it’s not fake?” 

“It happened to me too. Heard a couple of them talking about me outside one night. Go ask your boyfriends if you don’t believe me.” You shrugged before walking away from them. A smirk was plastered on your face as you stood outside, sipping on your water, knowing the girls were confronting the boys at the same moment. 

You were standing outside for a couple of minutes before Adam joined you, giving you a stern look.

“What’d you do?” 

“Nothing.” You said, your smirk only growing as you looked inside, the house now empty of all the strangers. The only people left were the players and their girlfriends, who all looked like they were not having a pleasant conversation. Well, that was until all the guys started yelling at each other. 

“Y/n.” Adam mumbled sternly, making you roll your eyes. 

“I just told them the truth. About how you all talk shit about them behind their backs, but then none of you have the guts to say it to each other. I mean, why would they right, you couldn’t tell me or Luca.” Suddenly, you found yourself angry at the boy in front of you. He had let both you and Luca that your couple was loved by all of them, let you believe they were all your friends. His face turned white at your words, only making you scoff. 

“Y/n…”

“It’s pathetic really, all that bullshit about you guys being like brothers, but then you pull some shit like this.” You cut him off. Right as Adam was about to say something else, the sliding door behind you opened and your body was pulled inside the house.

Forgive and I forget

I know my age and I act like it

Got what you can’t resist

I’m a perfect all-American Bitch

With perfect all-American lips

And perfect all-American hips

I know my place

I know my place and this is it

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Someone asked as you now stood infront of everyone, all the guys looking at you with angry eyes, while the girls all hugged each other, some of them crying. 

“I think the real question here is, what the fuck is wrong with all of you? Talk shit behind our backs and then acting like your our friends five minutes later. If you don’t like someone, don’t fucking pretend like you do and then shit talk them when they can hear you.” You spat, your eyes looking between all of them until you spotted Luca, who was standing all alone in a corner. “Hoping that your “brother’s” goes to shit ‘cause you don’t like who they’re dating. Seriously, how old are you? How insecure of yourself do you have to be to say things like this?” 

The house was silent after, all the girls were nodding at your words. The boys, well at least the guilty ones, all looked at the ground, while the innocent ones looked angry and pissed, but not at you anymore, at each other. 

When none of them said anything for a solid minutes, you just scoffed and made your way out of the house. You had done what you came here to do. You started walking down the sidewalk, back towards your dorm, when you heard someone call out your name. You turned around, only to see Luca chasing after you. 

“I didn’t know, I swear-” 

“I know you didn’t, Luca.” You cut him off with a soft smile. 

“I didn’t break up with you because of them. I really like you, I really do. You’re amazing, Y/n. But, I just… I don’t want a relationship right now.” He explained, your smile turning into a sad one. 

“I get it. I want you to be happy, Lu, and if that means us not being together, then I’m okay with it.” It pained you to say it, but it was true. All you wanted for the boy was to be happy, and if that meant you having to leave his life, you were okay with it. 

“‘M not saying never, though. The way I feel about you, I’ve never felt this way for anyone before. Like… I don’t how to explain it-”

“Right person, wrong time?” You asked with a slight smirk on his face, making the boy in front of you smile slightly. 

“Yeah.” 

“Let me know whenever the right time comes, yeah?” You asked softly, the boy nodding slightly before resting his forehead against yours. 

“I’m sorry about how I broke up with you, you deserved a better explanation.” He whispered, closing his eyes as he let his body relax. Your right hand moved up, cupping his cheek and you could feel him lean into your touch. 

“It’s okay, Lulu.” 

“But it’s not. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have done it that way. And I shouldn’t have came to your car and talked to you like that. I am so sorry, baby.” He said, as snow started falling from the sky. You could tell how deeply he meant his words, his voice cracking slightly. 

“Hey, look at me.” You whispered, gently tapping his cheek that you were still holding. After a couple of seconds his eyes opened and stared right back at yours. “It’s okay. It’s in the past.”

“You should hate me.” 

“I don’t think I could ever hate you, Luca.” You admitted, bitting your lip gently as the boy smiled down at you. “I really need to go home.” 

“I’ll walk you.” 

“It’s alright. I think they need you more than I do.” You said, nodding towards the senior house, making Luca sigh a bit. 

“Always have to clean up your mess, don’t I?” He joked, making you giggle slightly. 

“I’ll see you around, Lu.” You mumbled before pressing a kiss to his other cheek and walking away from him. The Fantili boy stood there for a bit, a smile on his face as he watched you make your way back to your dorm. Once you disappeared at the end of the street, the boy turned around and slowly started making his way back to the house. 

When he walked in, all the girls were gone, and the boys were now just all yelling at each other. Some were trying to calm the tension that was rising in the room, but didn’t succeed. Only, when Luca walked in, the room went quiet and everyone looked at him. Luca’s eyes found Adam’s, and the younger boy immediately knew what had happened out there, well almost. He for sure thought they had gotten back together, but he was close enough. 

“God, don’t tell me you got back with her?” Johnny said harshly, making Luca’s smile flatten as he looked over to his “best friend”. 

“Why do you care? Last time I check, who I date isn’t any of your business.” Luca sassed, making his younger brother smile slightly. 

“She ruined the night!” One of the guys called out, making Luca roll his eyes. 

“She said the truth. Maybe if you guys hadn’t talked behind their backs, none of this would’ve happened. I’m going home.” The boy mumbled before leaving the senior household once again, Adam following behind him. 

“So, are you guys back together?” The forward asked after a couple of minutes of them walking back to their dorm. 

“No. But, in the future we will, I know it.”

All the time

I’m grateful all the time

I’m sexy and I’m kind

I’m pretty when I cry

Oh, all the time

I’m grateful all the time (Greatful all the fucking time)

I’m sexy and I’m kind

I’m pretty when I cry

When summer came around, you had promised both Fantili boys you’d keep close touch with them, especially Adam since he’d be heading off to Columbus next season, which pained you a little, but you were happy for him. 

As the months passed by, you and Luca talked more and more every day, something Adam noticed and was quick to bring up to his brother. Luca was smiling at his phone all the time, and overall was just in a better mood than when you two had broken up. The older brother shrugged him off, claiming he was imaginating things, but they both knew it was a lie. 

You were over the moon when you arrived in Michigan, only to find that both brothers were already there, and a time to meet was quickly set. During your little hang out, it was clear to Adam that you and Luca were truly meant to be together, you both had giant smiles whenever you’d be talking to the other. For a majority of the night, it was mainly just the two of you in your own little world, but Adam didn’t care, Luca was happy, you were happy, and that’s all that mattered to him. 

“Don’t fuck this up, dude.” Adam whispered in his brother’s ear as the two of them hugged goodbye. Luca had admitted to him that he was planning on asking you out soon, something that almost made the younger boy scream. 

“I won’t.” And he didn’t. He asked you out, again, and you said yes, again, a week later. The two of you were just hanging in your dorm, you were complaining about how much homework you already had when he just blurred the question out. You were a little shock, but quickly agreed. 

When Luca told his teammates the two of you were back together, he received some questioning looks, but he just ignored them. He thought you were perfect, and that’s all that mattered to him. He didn’t care if his friends didn’t like you, he did and they’d need to learn how to deal with you being around even if they didn’t like you. 

You made him happy, and that’s all they should care about.

[bluewxrld07]

Missin' you (Luke Hughes)

Warning(s): some angst, depression, hermit mode, flufffff :)

Luke Hughes x female!reader

Summary: Y/N had been so stressed with finals which made her not only forget her boyfriend's last game for UMich was the night before her big boards exam, but that it was his last night in UMich before he left for jersey

Y/n was ready to pull our every last piece of hair on her head.

She was stressed, sleep deprived, food deprived, shower deprived, and anything else she could be deprived of. She's been studying nonstop for her boards exam which was supposed to be tomorrow afternoon.

She was currently in her boyfriend, Luke's, room on his bed with her laptop in her lap, supporting one of his hockey sweatshirts and a pair of her athletic shorts and glasses on the bridge of her nose.

His bathroom door opened to reveal him in nothing but his dress pants on his hips, the girl not even bothering to look up like she normally would've. Luke's face dropped into a grimace at her movements being very minimal.

"Baby you've gotta let your head rest for a bit. It's not good to be overstimulating yourself with all of your schoolwork." he says to her as he begins getting dressed.

She gives him a hum, her eyes not even twitching away from her screen. Luke lets out a sigh, finishing up with buttoning his shirt and walks over to his bed. He crawls up to her, softly pushing the screen down and pushing it to the side. She begins to stutter out squeaks from the actions, only to be silenced as he hovers over her frame and places his lips over hers.

She sighs in content, her hand finding his cheek to rub it softly. He smiles against her lips, pulling away and placing a couple more chaste kisses on her lips.

"Go shower please. I'd love for you to not miss the most important and saddest games in my career."

"One of the most important games of your career." she points out to him, earning an eyeroll. "Give me like ten more minutes of studying. Then I will not pay anymore attention to it the rest of the night." she bribes, watching his head drop at the sound of her asking.

It was quiet for a few moments, before he lets out a dramatic sigh. "Alright fine. But I'm leaving in two minutes, so can I trust that you'll be done in ten minutes?"

"Sir yes sir." she salutes him playfully. He chuckles at her and pushes himself up off the bed to finish getting ready.

"I will see you tonight yeah? Still okay with driving with me to the airport?" he asks, earning a sad smile from her.

He watches her eyes falter, looking down at her lap. "I just can't believe you're leaving already. How long till I get to see you?" she asks, Luke making his way towards her and sitting on the edge by her.

"Six weeks-"

"Six weeks Lu? How am I supposed to get by without holding or touching you for six weeks?" She runs her hands through her hair, tears beginning to form.

He puts his hands on her face, shushing her softly and kissing her forehead as she takes a deep breath. She looks back into his eyes.

"It'll go by faster than you know it. Especially after your boards exam tomorrow. You'll be spending so much time with the guys after that, you'll barely even notice the time flying by." he assures her, making her nod and sniffle.

"Six weeks yeah?"

"Six weeks."

"I will see you before you know it pretty girl," he pecks her lips. "Now, I have to go. Ten minutes and ten minutes only. Okay?"

"Got it. Ten more minutes."

"Good girl. I'll see you in a couple hours yeah?" he says with a smile, she nods with a small smile that barely meets her tired eyes.

He presses one more long kiss on her lips before he stands up and grabs his stuff. "I love you, I'll see you in a bit."

"Love you Lu."

Once his door was shut, she grabbed her laptop and opened it to get back to studying. Telling herself ten minutes every so often so she wouldn't lose track of time or slack off.

As she ran over her quizlet flashcards once more, she felt her eyes getting heavier and heavier. The need for closing them becoming stronger than keeping them open. "Just a few minutes." she tells herself, shutting her eyes that were relieved to fall closed.

"Just a few minutes."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The sounds of hoots and hollers were heard, slowly getting closer and louder as y/n opened and adjusted her eyes. She looked around, seeing her laptop had slightly fallen from her lap, she was sprawled out on Luke's bed.

Luke's bed.

Oh shit.

Oh shit.

Y/n shot up immediately, not caring if her laptop fell to the floor and broke. She ran over to Luke's desk to grab her phone, seeing all the messages and phone calls from Luke that had gone unanswered.

Moose <3

Hey baby where are you?

Moose <3

You said you'd come tonight. Why aren't you here?

Moose <3

I thought I was important to you. I'll keep that in mind.

Moose <3

We need to talk tomorrow. My flight leaves in five.

The time being almost midnight.

He was gone. He was long gone.

She didn't get to say a final goodbye. She didn't get to watch his final game at UMich. She didn't get to wear his UMich jersey one last time for him.

Y/n let her tears fall, sobs falling from her mouth as she kept hitting the call button on Luke's contact. She knew he wouldn't answer due to being on a plane, or probably because he was so upset with her not keeping her side of the bargain.

Y/n fell to the floor as she sobbed, knowing that she should've just gotten into the shower while Luke was still there, knowing it would've prevented this exact moment from happening.

It was one of those moments you only ever dream about happening, thankful that it didn't actually happen.

Her sobs must've been heard outside the bedroom, Luca and Ethan popping it open a few minutes later. Their ecstatic smiles from the win falling at the sight of the girl they'd known like a sister crumbling on the floor.

"Y/n?" Luca's voice spoke up, shutting the door behind them.

She shook her head and cried harder. "I should've just listened. I should've stopped and took a break. It's my fault. I didn't listen. It's my fault I didn't listen to him. And now he's gone." she cried out.

Luca looked over at Ethan with sad eyes. "Go call Luke."

"I already did, he wasn't answering. He hates me. He's gonna break up with me. He's so mad at me. I should've listened, fucking dammit!" she snapped back at them, the guys seeing her face for the first time since coming in.

Ethan pulled out his phone to dial Luke's number and nodding at Luca while stepping out.

Luca made his way over to the overtired and overworked girl on the floor, wrapping his arms around her figure to bring her into his lap as she cried.

"He doesn't hate you. He could never hate you." Luca says quietly as he held her. Y/n put her face into his neck and shook her head.

"I asked him for ten more minutes of studying, even though he didn't want me to and said I should go shower. He trusted me to give myself ten more minutes. It was supposed to be a big night for him. I was supposed to be right there as he had his last night here. I was supposed to be right by his side. I fucked up so bad Luca. I was just so tired, I could barely keep my eyes open." she rants, hiccuping every so often when she spoke.

Luca shushed her quietly, rubbing up and down her arms.

"I'm gonna miss him Luca. How the fuck am I supposed to get through this rough ass patch without him?" she hiccups.

"That is even if he wants to be with me still." she musters out, letting another choke sob leave her lips. Luca lays his head on top of hers.

"He will still want you. He will always want you. He will always need you Y/n. That boy is so smitten by you, y/n, he would have to be physically pulled away from you to let you breathe most days. He's not leaving anytime soon." Luca assures her, the girl only sniffling and shaking her head. They sat there silently for a while, Luca letting her choked sobs come out in waves for a bit.

"Let's get you into the bathroom to freshen up, hey? Then we can figure it all out. I promise." he suggests, letting her let his words sink in.

"I'll go get the shower going while you sit here," he suggests, letting her nod as he slips out from under her to head to Luke's bathroom.

She sat there motionless, her eyes swollen rom crying for so long. She was so tired, stressed, and missing her boy so much more than she should be. Y/n wasn't sure where to start with her feelings.

A part of her didn't even want to take her boards tomorrow. It wasn't even worth it no matter how hard she studied. She only wanted Luke. He always made things better. Yet she managed to screw that up.

Luca came back into the room a few minutes later, helping her stand and walking her to the bathroom.

"Ethan and I will be outside when you're done. I set your clothes on the counter when you finish up." he says before closing the door.

She wrapped her arms around herself for a minute, before finally deciding to strip and step into the hot shower. She let the water cascade down her body, feeling her face heat as tears began to fall.

As she sobbed, she hugged herself tighter. Her cries echoing off the shower walls. "I'm so sorry Lu." she cries.

Time passes, the girl finally pulling herself together enough to wash off all the continuous hours of studying and lack of sleep. She sees that the pajamas Luca set out was one of Luke's sweatshirts and a pair of his sweatpants she always loved wearing when she was over, making her tears gloss once again.

She finished getting freshened up, opening the door and sniffling as she walked over to his desk to grab her phone where she guesses Luca must've set it after she dropped it.

Her heart hoping that when she turned it on, she would've had something, anything from Luke.

Silence.

Y/n let out a sigh, rubbing her eyes as the tiredness wave began to hit her harder than it did earlier. Y/n grabbed her phone to bring with her to bed in case he did call her, but also knowing he probably wouldn't.

As she turned around to go lay in his bed, she halted and dropped her phone.

"Hi baby." he sighs, his eyes looking just as tired and red.

She can't even force words out, still frozen in her spot. He stood up from his spot on his bed, the boy wearing sweats and a Devils sweatshirt.

He says nothing as he walks to her, wrapping his arms around her figure. She sighs in his arms, immediately feeling herself relax in his hold. She wraps her arms around his torso, sniffling quietly. "I'm sorry," she whimpers out. Her tone making his heart break.

"I was just so tired, I guess my body finally took over ad had enough of me overdoing it. I would never miss something like this on purpose. Especially when I don't know how long it is till I see you again." she stutters.

He puts his lips on her head. "Six weeks remember?" he says, making her look up at him. His heart dropped at the sight of her bloodshot eyes that were almost swollen shut.

"Are you breaking up with me?" she asks, looking down. "I get it if you are. I wouldn't want to be with someone like me either at this point."

He lifts her chin up to look at her. “You couldn't get rid of me even if I was attached to your hip. Which I basically am." he tries to joke, earning a soft snort from her.

"I love you y/n. Just because you're having a hard time right before one of the biggest exams in your career doesn't mean I'm going to end things because your body gave out."

"But what about your texts? You thought you weren't important to me, and that we needed to talk tomorrow." she asks, watching him grimace and purse his lips.

"I was texting you that in the heat of the moment. The last text I sent you was me meaning we needed to talk about getting you on a proper schedule where you're not burning yourself out like you did tonight," he admits, his eyebrows turning to a frown. "Did you think it meant I was breaking up with you?" he asks.

She hides her face in his chest and nods.

Luke sighs, cupping her cheeks in his hands and pressing a soft kiss to her lips, letting them brush against one another after they pull away. "Like I said, you are stuck with me love. I just worry about you. I don't want you hurting yourself more than you already have." he assures her, making her smile softly at him.

"I love you Lu," she whispers against his lips, the boy pressing his lips to her own once again with a smile. "Love you more baby."

"Now let's get you to sleep. I need you to have at least one good nights sleep before I leave for a bit."

"What about your signing?" she asks as he picks her up to bring her to bed.

"I pushed it to tomorrow night. They can wait to take pictures of me signing a paper," he chuckles as he cuddles them both up in his bed.

"I had to make sure my girl was okay," he hums into her neck as they lay together. "You matter more to me than a piece of paper."

"Not if it's for your career."

"Y/n I swear if you don't take the compliment."

"Right right sorry baby. I love you."

"Love you more pretty girl."

[sunkissed-zegras]

🍯 barely any adam fantilli on this app 🙄 i NEED THIS

𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭 | af¹¹

♡ ─ word count | 260

♡ ─ warnings | NSFW under the cut, p in v, praise, exhibition kind of?

♡ ─ ev's notes | thank you fia for requesting this, oml. adam will never fail to make me GO ABSOLUTELY FERALLLLLLLLLL.

"Gotta be quiet, princess." Adam muttered into your neck as he kept thrusting into you harshly. Each thrust was accompanied by a whimper from you and despite Adam telling you to quiet down, deep down he liked the idea of someone walking into you getting absolutely wrecked by your boyfriend.

You were sat up on the bathroom sink while Adam fucked into you, a party going on outside but neither of you seemed to care. Adam wanted you so he pulled you into the bathroom and now, here you were. Your legs were crossed around his waist as he pounded you into the sink, your mouth hanging open.

"Shit, baby. Someone's gonna catch us if you keep making sounds like that." Adam's hand clasped against your mouth as he began to quicken his pace, causing another loud moan to escape your mouth, now muffled by Adam's big hand.

His hips were snapping against yours roughly now, you could feel the knot in your stomach tighten now. You were so close, you could feel it. One more deep, rough thrust and you felt your orgasm wash over you, causing your whole body to shake with pleasure as your head fell back against the tile of the wall.

Adam wasn't too far behind you as he felt your cunt clench around him, he knew he was going to cum any moment now. A few more quick and harsh thrusts and Adam was spilling into you, groaning out in pleasure. He moved his hand and both your lips met in a sloppy kiss.

-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-

thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[sc0tters]

Moving On | Adam Fantilli

summary: 4 occasions that Luca thought he was losing his best friend to Adam and the one time he realised it was both of you that he lost.

request: yes/no

warnings: none

word count: 1.92k

authors note: I should honestly make a series called Maddie told Kei the idea and then I wrote it out. This is meant to be a platonic Luca pairing too. Also it is the start of angst week, you can find the masterlist here!

Luca wouldn’t have predicted this twelve months ago.

1

Adam had been flirting with you for weeks as you had paired up with the younger Fantilli boy “can I help you?” Adam asked as he turned to see you staring at him.

Your cheeks turned pink as your eyes went wide “sorry,” you were quick to apologise as your head dropped to look at your notebook “don’t be.” The boy slid his hand over your knee as he moved closer to you.

The distance between you two decreased “like it when you looked at me.” He confessed letting his breath fan against the shell of your ear.

When your head didn’t move it made the boy sigh “like to look at you too.” Adam added hooking his fingers under your chin as he forced you to look at him.

You smiled letting your eyes drop to his lips “what about Luca?” You sighed looking back at his eyes as the thought of your best friend quickly came to the front of your mind.

Luca had met you at a hockey game in Michigan and you traded Instagram handles causing you to hit it off. So it’s safe to say that Luca was more than grateful to see you at freshman orientation “what about him?” Adam always had to admit that he was jealous that Luca got you first.

It was clear he wasn’t interested in you romantically but that didn’t make Adam feel any better as he would watch you pull Luca out of the dorm desperate to have a gossip session with him.

What Adam didn’t realise was that you pulled his brother out for those conversations because you were nervous about seeing the younger Fantilli boy. He just never seemed to notice that you were wrapped around his finger “he’s your brother.” You reminded Adam causing him to laugh “never knew that.” His sarcastic comment had you rolling your eyes.

You moved your body towards his “I can’t do this to him.” You sighed making Adam push his head back in annoyance “why don’t you think about yourself or about us for once?” Adam crossed his arms like a child.

The boy craved an apology or something from you as he stared at you “about us?” You raised your eyebrows hearing that phrase come from his lips.

He nodded wrapping his arm around you “I like you y/n.” Adam mumbled cupping your cheek as he rubbed your warm skin with the pad of his thumb.

A grin formed on your face “I like you too Adam.” You confessed with your breath growing shaky when his nose hovered over yours “if you’re serious just kiss me.” You gasped feeling his hand drag across your waist as his lips captured yours in a kiss.

You groaned as you’re practically pounded out of your chest.

Luca was going to have to put up with this.

2

You and Adam were surprised to say that you lasted an entire two days before Luca found out.

It was the perfect time for you to come over as Luca had class. So you were sat on Adams lap smiling as the boy tucked your hair behind your ear “like this view,” Adam grinned watching you bury your head in his shoulder.

The door opened causing you two to whip your heads around “what is going on here?” Luca asked furrowing his eyebrows as he locked eyes with you both.

Adam was quick to squeeze your waist as he saw how tense your body grew “don’t get mad at her.” He blurted out as you got off of his lap.

Tears welled in your eyes as you watched Luca remain silent “hey don’t cry,” Luca sighed quickly wrapping his hands around your shoulders as he pulled you into a hug “you’re not mad?” You sniffled resting your head on his chest.

You didn’t realise how worried you were about Luca not being happy for you “of course not.” He mumbled placed a kiss on your head causing you to look up at him “no breaking her heart though.” Luca warned pointing his finger at Adam causing you both to laugh.

Adam held his hand out to you making you quickly drop your arms from around Luca “don’t plan on doing that any time soon.” Adam confessed placing a peck on your lips.

The older Fantilli boy was quick to regret his decision “you want to do that then go to your own dorm.” Luca made his stance very clear as it made you both laugh.

Now Luca loved you both, there was no doubt that you were both his favourite people. And that’s why he kept his mouth shut, his desire for your happiness outweighed his fear for being left behind.

3

You and Adam had been together for six months and you loved every single second of it. Which is why he was the first person you went to when you had the big news.

The soccer season you had in your freshman year was on that most people could only ever dream of, if there was a record you broken it, if there was a goal you scored it, everywhere you needed to be was exactly where you were.

So it was no surprise when you got offers from teams all over North America to come and play rather than going back to Michigan for your sophomore year.

Your feet dragged you along to Adam and Luca’s room as you knocked on the door so hard you swore you might bust it open “what’s up?” Adam asked almost being surprised when you nearly knocked him off his feet.

A squeal left your lips “I’m on the team!” You announced jumping up with excitement.

Adam had heard most of the conversations that you had with the teams that displayed interest in you so of course he knew about your favourite.

Columbus Eagles FC.

“what team?”

The voice pulled you away as your eyes went wide “oh hey Lu.” You remembered you hadn’t told him about it.

You knew how bad it sounded but you forgot to tell him that you weren’t coming back so now instead you were going to have to tell him that you were going to Ohio instead “I’ll let you two talk.” Adam placed a kiss on your head as he grabbed his shoes leaving you in the dorm alone with your best friend.

Trying to keep Luca happy whilst you worked on your relationship was tough, yes he was still your best friend but you were no longer as close as you once were “what are you talking about?” Luca grew nervous as you sat on his bed with him.

Your fingers raked through your hair “so some teams have been talking to me about joining them next season.” You began licking your lips as you tried to figure out what the right words were in this scenario.

How does one tell their best friend that they aren’t coming back to college? Luca’s cold fingers pulled you away from your thoughts “just spit it out y/n, I can handle it.” His words were soft as he started to connect the pieces.

A single tear ran down your cheek “I’m moving to Ohio Lu.” Your lips smacked as you expected him to be upset.

Luca’s heart broke at the news “that’s great!” He forced a smile onto his face as he pulled you into a hug. The worry of Adam leaving him was already hanging over his head. Luca never thought about you going “really?” You asked surprised that he wasn’t crying like you were.

If there was a moment for him to tell you the truth it would have been that one “I’ll come watch you play whenever I can.” Luca nodded smiling as he continued to lie to himself.

Luca still wanted you in Michigan but he was willing to settle for the move to Ohio.

Because for you? He only wanted the world.

4

You knew who you wanted Adam to get drafted to, the whole family seemed to want Adam there too. Whilst your boyfriend was predicted to go second to the ducks you hoped that he went third instead to the blue jackets “c’mon baby,” Adam smiled rubbing his hand on your knee as he shared your level of nerves.

Luca felt like the next few moments were a blur as when the blue jackets staff called Adams name the younger Fantilli boy pulled his brother into a hug.

Now Luca wasn’t jealous but he had to admit that it hurt knowing you two were going to be together whilst he was all alone in Michigan. Yes he was happy that you two were living out your dreams, but he contemplated if those cost was worth it “how you thinking about having a roommate?” Adam asked turning his attention to you as he smiled.

A laugh left your lips “have to think about it,” you joked pulling him into a hug before he could send a rebuttal in your direction.

Adam leaned down to kiss your lips causing the crowd to erupt into a louder cheer before you pulled away remembering that you weren’t alone “go enjoy this moment.” You reminded him patting his chest before he went to hug his parents.

It gave you the chance to slip into the seat next to Luca when Adam got his cap “you know we love you right?” You asked wrapping your arm around his.

You knew Luca needed a few words to be reminded that he wasn’t the front wheel of a tricycle in this relationship “I know.” He nodded tapping your hand letting out a soft sigh as Adam waved up at you guys like a crazy man.

If only Luca truly felt your love.

+1

Luca didn’t think it would hit him in the way that it did. Over the summer he didn’t think about you and Adam leaving him, he couldn’t do it without feeling sad.

But the day reality truly struck was move in day.

The first moment for Luca that felt off was walking into his room to see Rutger as his roommate, sure he loved Rutger but that wasn’t Adam.

Secondly it was when you started sending him messages asking about the room and how the boys all were, you topped this off with a picture of Adam getting you your morning coffee.

Now the moment that truly broke him was when he saw your old teammates walking down to the practice field.

His chest grew tight as your old roommate was now talking to the freshman that was taking up your old position, to replace you.

And before he knew it tears were strolling down his reddened cheeks as he went into panic mode “you okay dude?” Rutger asked turning around as he heard the sound of his friend crying.

An answer couldn’t leave Luca’s mouth fast enough so instead he just nodded “I gotta call her.” Somehow so few words said so much to the boys as they watched Luca run back to the dorm hall.

Luca’s hands were slick with sweat as he struggling to dial in your number as his eyes went blurry “hey Lu you okay?” You asked answering the phone call as you smiled.

But the sound of his tears quickly made you concerned “you got a minute?” Luca pleaded as his body slid down the door of his room as his arms wrapped around his legs.

“Always for you Lu.”

[heavenlyhischier]

𝐒𝐚𝐲 𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐆𝐨 | 𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢

word count: 3.5k

summary: Adam left for Columbus with the promise that it changed nothing in your relationship. What do you do when it changes everything?

warnings: angst :)

note: for all intents and purposes Luca was at the game on 10/21. i’ve never written for adam before so pls let me know what you think!

You hadn’t stopped smiling for the last two hours. Adam had been drafted third overall to the Columbus Blue Jackets, which shocked everyone except for him. You had expected him to go to the Ducks, and when they selected Leo Carlsson, you were confused, but Adam wasn’t. He looked calm, cool, and collected as he always did and that was enough to ease the nerves you had for him. When his name was finally called, you watched as he enveloped his family in hugs with the biggest grin.

“I love you so much,” He’d whispered in your ear, arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you in close, “Thank you for being here.”

“Always,” You mumbled into his ear, placing a delicate kiss to his cheek before he made his way down to the stage.

You hadn’t stopped smiling since then. You were so happy and so proud of him, and so was the entirety of his family. They surrounded him with warm embraces and encouraging words as he basked in the attention, eyes flitting towards you ever so often with a smile. He’d tried to make his way towards you, but you would shove him away and tell him to celebrate with everyone else, that the two of you would have your time later.

Luca made sure to stick close to you most of the night, knowing that Adam wouldn’t want you to be alone while he was bombarded with congratulations and pictures. You’d tried to get him to spend time with the others too, but he was a lot less easy to persuade than his younger brother considering it wasn’t his night. The two of you watched as Adam gracefully accepted compliments and made sure to greet everyone who approached him with kindness.

After a fun filled dinner with Adam’s family and loved ones, the rest of you returned to the hotel to get some rest. You were going along with the family tomorrow to explore Nashville a bit before you were to go back home and the Fantilli’s back to theirs. When you’d gotten back to the hotel, you had to carefully switch rooms with Luca since you and Adam technically weren’t supposed to share a bed.

You were taking your makeup off in the bathroom when you let your mind drift off to something you had tried to ignore. While Columbus wasn’t nearly as far as Anaheim, it was still away from you and everyone else. Adam was going to be moving to another state, but what did that mean for your relationship? Would he want to break up?

Shaking your head, you threw the dirty makeup wipe in the trash can and stepped into the cool hotel room. Adam was laying on the bed, shirt off and blanket pushed down to his hips as he scrolled on his phone. His gaze snapped in your direction when he heard the bathroom door shut, and a smile quickly formed on his face as he tossed his phone to the side and held the blanket open for you to crawl into.

You settled into the slot between his side and arm, cuddling into him as you tried to calm your thoughts. Adam slipped his hand underneath the shirt you had borrowed from him months ago and began gently scratching your back. He could tell that you were overthinking something, and he knew that was a way to get you to calm down enough to talk to him about it if you’d wanted to.

“Adam,” You hesitantly spoke, tracing patterns on the naked skin of his chest, “This won’t change anything, right? Like between us.”

You shifted your head so you were looking up at him, and Adam swore he felt a piece of his heart break when he saw the fear swimming in your eyes. He hated that he knew exactly what you were thinking, because it scared him, too. He knew that moving away wasn’t going to be easy for either of you, but he knew one thing for sure. He was willing to do whatever it takes to make sure it was going to work.

“No,” He firmly stated as he brought his hand up to move your hair behind your ear, “It won’t change anything except for the physical distance between us. I promise.”

You fell asleep that night with the comfort of knowing that Adam had no intention of letting your relationship break apart because he was leaving. You spent the rest of your summer either physically with him, or talking to him over the phone as often as the two of you could manage. The two of you exchanged a lot of late night phone calls and snapchats, leaving the ache in your chest from missing him ever so slightly growing the longer you went without seeing him. However, Adam stayed true to his word and he didn’t let it change anything.

Truthfully, you couldn’t remember when it started. You’re not sure if it was when training camp started, when classes began, or when pre-season games began. You couldn’t figure it out, but the one thing you did know was that things had changed.

Calls with Adam had gone from multiple times a day, to once a day, to once a week if you were lucky. Texts went unanswered for entire days at a time, and you tried to be understanding. You really did, but it wasn’t until Luca had mentioned Adam showing up a video of something he’d done at practice that you truly realized something had shifted in your relationship.

You’d tried to find a break in both your schedule and Adam’s so you could talk to him about how you felt, but it was proving to be difficult with his hectic schedule. You tried to tell yourself that it was okay, that he wasn’t losing feelings for you, that he was just busier now. You didn’t want to seem like an over controlling girlfriend who needed his attention all the time, but you were in need of sone reassurance.

“Hey, I don’t have a lot of time,” Adam spoke, stepping into one of the empty rooms, “What’s up?”

You ignored the way your chest tightened at his subpar greeting, but you knew he was busy, “I just wanted to talk to you a bit.”

“That’s it,” He sounded annoyed, “Look, if it isn’t important I need to get back to—”

“Practice. I know. I just wanted to ask you something,” You closed your eyes, letting out a nervous sigh, “Do you- Do you want to break up?”

“What,” He snapped, and you could picture his brows pulling together and eyes narrowing in frustration, “No. Why the fuck would you think that?”

You couldn’t help but let the tears that were lining your eyes spill over onto your cheeks, biting the inside of your cheek in order to keep yourself from letting out a sob. He was angry with you for your question, and that hurt you more than you thought it would because it meant he didn’t see that anything was wrong. Maybe that should be a good thing, and it would’ve been had there not clearly been a change.

“We just don’t talk that often anymore,” You explained as you wiped at your cheeks.

“I’m busy,” He retorted, growing slightly annoyed.

“I know,” You shook your head, “I know you are, but Luca says you talk to him all the time. He says you send him videos and call him every day.”

“So what,” He scoffed, “I can’t talk to my brother now? Is that what you’re saying?

“What,” You gasped, “No. No, that isn’t what I'm saying at all. I just want to know why you don’t talk to me anymore. You promised it wouldn’t change anything, but it has.”

Adam went silent on the other end, his breathing heavy as he tried to calm himself down. He wasn’t angry with you, but he was frustrated that you would think he wanted to break up with you. He knows he hasn’t been the best communicator recently, but he thought you would understand. After all, he still meant everything he’d told you in the hotel room that night, at least he thought he did.

“I’m not trying to argue, Adam,” You tried again, silent tears flowing down your cheeks in waves.

“You sure about that,” He bit back, visibly wincing when he realized that he was being unnecessarily harsh, “Look, baby, I’m sorry, okay? I really am. I’ll try and do better about all that. It’s just— I’m struggling a bit and talking to Luca is the only thing that really calms me down. But hey, I gotta get to practice. I’ll see you this weekend?”

Ignoring the way your heart clenched when he said Luca was the only person to calm him down, you nodded though he couldn’t see you. Choking back the sobs that bubbled in your throat, you managed to breath out a shaky, “Yeah. Okay. See you this weekend. I lo—”

The line went dead, and your cries echoed throughout your apartment. You sank to the floor, pulling your knees to your chest as you let your emotions roll over you. Everything you had been feeling over the last three months consumed your entire being as you sobbed on the floor, thankful that your roommate had work for the evening. Adam not saying he loved you just solidified what you only thought you knew, and now you weren’t sure where to go from there.

You tried to tell Luca that you didn’t feel well and that going to see Adam play wasn’t a good idea because you didn’t want to get him sick, but he saw straight through your bullshit. He knew you were lying, and he wasn’t quite sure why. Luca rolled his eyes and continued packing your bag, mumbling something incoherent before he settled on telling you that you were going and that was the end of the story.

When you arrived in Columbus with Luca and his parents, the first thing you did was take everything to the hotel since you arrived a bit later than you’d hoped and Adam was going to have to head to the arena. Luca could tell that you were nervous, and he did his best to make you comfortable and reassure you that everything was going to be okay. You managed to give him a weak smile, but you weren’t sure if what he said was true. You didn’t know if everything was going to be okay.

When you were around Adam’s parents, you were good at putting up the act that everything was fine, but that didn’t stop your skin from crawling with anxiety the closer the end of the game came. Your leg was bouncing and you were chewing at your bottom lip until it bled. Luca kept smacking your arm when he’d noticed that you’d pulled your lip between your teeth, but you would only stop when you noticed he was looking.

“Do either of you know how to get to the locker room,” Julia asked when the third period was over and the Blue Jackets had defeated the Wild.

“I do,” Luca shrugged, “Sort of. Adam gave me a tour of the arena after his first training camp and I think I remember where to go.”

Your heart sank at Luca’s words, and you felt selfish for feeling the way that you did. You didn’t care, nor would you ever care, that Adam was showing things to Luca that he didn’t show to you, but you hadn’t even seen a picture of the inside of his locker. You hadn’t seen any sort of picture of the arena from Adam, only knowing what you did because of social media and your own research.

You followed closely behind Luca, his parents lingering behind the two of you and quietly whispering to each other. Luca was carefully holding your hand in his own, silently comforting you as everyone waited for Adam. He could quite literally feel your body shaking with nerves, and it was then that he truly realized that something was off, but neither you nor his brother had told him why.

When players started to trickle out of the locker room, you felt like you were going to pass out. You couldn’t breathe and your head became dizzy. If it weren’t for Luca’s hand encasing your own, you’re sure you would’ve been on the floor by now. However, when you saw Adam walking out of the locker room, you did black out for a fleeting moment.

His hair was damp as he ran his fingers through it, his suit hugging in his body in the right ways. He had a smile on his face that made his eyes sparkle even under the ugly lighting in the hallway of the arena, and it only brightened when his eyes settled on his family. His eyes briefly met your own, and you swear that they dulled from the split second they did, but you hoped that it was just your imagination playing tricks on you. God, you hoped so.

“Oh, there he is,” Julia beamed, gripping your other hand in her own.

You plastered a smile of your own on your face despite the sinking feeling in your stomach. Adam reached the four of you and you stepped back, like you always did, and let him greet his family before you. You watched as he pulled them all in for tight hugs and told them how much he missed them. He finally turned towards you, and you wanted the world to open a hole in the ground and swallow you whole.

“Hey,” You meekly smiled, scared that he was going to dismiss you in front of his entire family.

He took the two steps needed and wrapped you in his arms, pulling you into his chest as he placed a small kiss on your temple. To the outside world, it could’ve been seen as cute and normal for a couple who hadn’t seen each other in months. To you, it felt wrong. Everything about it was wrong. Adam’s touch felt different. His hold felt different. Everything was different.

“Thank you for being here,” He whispered into your ear, and you were briefly brought back to the moment he was drafted. That hug, that embrace was how you should feel right now, but it was wrong. You wanted so desperately for it to be right because your feelings for him hadn’t changed, but maybe his had.

Much like the last time you all were together, you went out for a late dinner before returning to your hotel. The game didn’t end until late and Adam wasn’t feeling up to much after that, but Luca suggested that you go stay with Adam for the night. He ignored your pleading stares and instead insisted that you snore and he wanted to get a good night’s rest before tomorrow.

Adam seemed hesitant to agree, but he agreed nonetheless less. He took your hand in his, lacing your fingers like he always did and tugged you along to his car in silence. You didn’t know what to say to him. You were afraid that if you spoke, you wouldn’t be able to keep yourself from crying. You were afraid that if he spoke, he would say the five words that would absolutely shatter you entirely.

Being alone in the car with Adam felt like you were standing on a tightrope, all alone and scared. You knew you needed to say something to him, to try and talk about what was going on in your head, but you were terrified. Everything bad that could happen was playing in your mind, but you knew it was now or never because once you were at his apartment, his teammate would be there and you didn’t want an audience.

“Adam,” You called out, swallowing the lump in your throat, “Can we talk about something?”

“Anything,” He nodded, glancing away from the road while giving you a tight lipped smile.

“What happened,” You shakily let out, tears already pricking at the corners of your eyes, “What happened between us? And don’t say you don’t know what I’m talking about. Things haven’t been the same between us since you got here and you know that. You don’t talk to me anymore. You don’t tell me anything anymore. You haven’t told me you loved me in almost two months.

“It’s just— Adam you promised nothing would change, and now everything has and I don’t know why. Do you not love me anymore? Do you not want to be with me?”

Adam’s breathing faltered as your words hit him, though he isn’t sure why he’s so surprised. He expected something like this to happen, especially after the phone call the two of you shared three days ago. He’d been thinking about everything, about your relationship, and he realized that you were right. Something had changed.

He was scared to admit it out loud to himself, but when he hugged you after the game, he knew. It felt wrong, but it wasn’t anything that you were doing. It was all him and he couldn’t figure out why. He doesn’t know what changed for him because he knows he’s still insanely in love with you, even though he hadn’t said it since he got to Columblus. He didn’t know what was wrong.

“I don’t know,” He whispered, cutting through the suffocating silence.

Your hands were clasped in your lap, tears spilling onto your cheeks as you gathered the courage to repeat the one question that was plaguing your mind, “Do you not love me anymore? Is that it?”

“Of course I love you,” He shook his head, hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were turning white, “It’s just— I don’t fucking know, okay?”

“Is it not enough, then,” You tried, eyes boring into the side of his face as you begged for an explanation. For him to give you anything.

“I don’t know.”

“Jesus, Adam can you say anything else,” You scoffed as your fingernails cut into the flesh of your palms.

“I don’t know,” He snapped, regret instantly forming in his chest when he watched you snap your gaze away from him and a blanket of nothingness washed over your face.

“Take me back to the hotel,” You ordered, voice thick yet flat. He called out your name pleadingly, “No. Take me back to the hotel. I’m done”

“With the conversation or with me,” He whispered, not bothering to fight back the tears that had been decorating the bottoms of his eyes since the conversation started.

“I don’t know.”

The drive to the hotel felt like it lasted an eternity as an uncomfortable, sticky silence enveloped the both of you and it made you want to scream. You never thought you would feel like this around him. What happened to the kisses that left you breathless and like time stopped around you? What happened to the whispers of the future? Things were never supposed to be like this with him.

You kept your head turned to the window, watching as the unfamiliar city blurred past you, and it was a little unsettling, honestly. How the world around you seems so perfectly fine while the world you had built in your head was crumbling with each passing second. It was devastating and cruel.

Adam was going to war with himself as he drove you away, in more ways than one. He knew he was wrong, he knew that everything was his fault, he knew that he fucked up. But he didn’t know how to fix it. He didn’t know what to do.

When Adam pulled up to the front of the hotel, your hand lingered on the door handle. Despite telling him that you were done, you wanted him to call out to you, to beg you to stay because you would stay. If he asked, you would stay. All he had to do was say don’t go, and you wouldn’t.

Adam watched as your hand hovered over the handle, and he wanted to stop you. He wanted to scream at you to please stay, to go back to his apartment with him so you talk about everything and try and fix it, but he didn’t know how. You said you were done, and while he didn’t know what that meant entirely, he respected that and let you get out of the car without another word.

You felt like you couldn’t breathe as you stepped out of the car and into the brisk Ohio air without so much as a goodbye from Adam. The door shut behind you, and all you could hear through the ringing in your ears was the sound of him driving away. Reality settled in and you felt like you could throw up. The last thing you remember is collapsing in Luca’s arms as gut wrenching sobs tore through your body as you wondered what went wrong.

part two

[sunflower-lilac42]

✧ 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐭 || flowers au ♔

summary: connor receives his first bouquet from violet after she visits for her first game

warnings: none, i don't think

notes: finally a happy one! don't worry these upcoming ones all are happy ones as well but i love angst so... that might change. also do you guys want more of the fantilli siblings?? i feel like i have just been writing for violet and connor which i don't mind doing, i love it, but i feel like i made her the sister of luca and adam and i haven't really made it a point to really explore their relationship. also this would've been out earlier but I kind of started watching the golden globes so... and everytime i write connor saying 'sweet girl' or 'pretty girl' i literally die inside. feel free to ask anything for the au because i love hearing from you guys and i hope to answer some questions if you have any. add yourself to the taglist ➵ taglist!

au masterlist | nhl masterlist | main masterlist

After relentless begging, text after text, call after call, bribe after bribe, Violet finally agreed to take a weekend to drive up to the city to watch one of Connor’s games. In reality, it didn’t take much for her to agree it was just the timing of his games and her school things that made it almost entirely impossible for her to visit. 

Connor was bouncing off the walls when he got the text from her saying she was coming for not only one but two games, however, he knew the second one wasn’t for him. It worked out that the game she decided to go to, they were playing the Devils the next day. She debated heavily for a while before she decided to get tickets to that one as well. 

Connor was more than happy to get her tickets, Violet initially refused the offer from the boy but he wasn’t having any of it. Getting her two tickets for both the Panthers and the Devils games. He hasn’t been this excited and nervous for a game since his debut and even then, he was calmer than that. 

Violet spent all week working on his bouquet. She hadn’t thought about which flower he represented and when she did, she didn’t know which one to give him. There were so many that he could be, yet as she looked through her book of flowers corresponding them with her favorites, she landed on canterbury bells. 

She had fallen in love with these flowers right before her high school graduation. They were outside the venue where she would graduate from and snapped a picture, not having time to look it up. When she looked up pictures she was immediately entranced by their beauty and knew that she should save those flowers for someone special. 

When she got word of Nico being injured, she was saddened for both him and the team. He was their captain, they couldn’t do anything without them. So even though she’s only met the man once or twice her whole life, she still made him a bouquet.

She dragged Ollie to the games with her, the two of them driving up to Chicago after Ollie’s last class on Friday. She hadn’t seen Connor in forever and she was super excited. She texted him throughout the drive, mostly because Connor wanted to make sure they were driving safely and nothing happened along the way.

When they arrived at Connor’s apartment, she knocked on the door, “I’m waiting.”

Connor opened the door and immediately grinned, bringing her into a hug which she gladly accepted. Ollie excused herself into the apartment as the two stayed hugging, “I missed you.”

Connor sighed, placing his chin on her head, “I missed you too.”

“I need to tell you everything that’s happened in the past however many months.” She giggled, ready for her gossip session with her best friend. 

Connor laughed and led her into his apartment, placing her bag into his room, “You are okay sharing with me right? Or would you rather stay with Ollie?”

She placed a hand on his arm, “If I wasn’t okay with it I wouldn’t have offered it. Now what are we doing for dinner, I’m starving.” She flopped down on his bed curling up into the comforter. 

“I don’t know, what do you want?”

Before she even got a word out, Ollie screamed from the guest room, “Texas Roadhouse!”

Ollie had been obsessed with Texas Roadhouse since she started going to UofI. She and Violet were wandering about and were extremely hungry so they decided to go somewhere they had never been before. She fell in love with the rolls and everything else was history.

“Of course, she does.” Violet turned over and got under the covers of Connor’s bed. Connor raised an eyebrow at her, “What are you doing?”

She shot him an innocent smile, “Getting comfy. I don’t want to go anywhere?”

“Is that true, sweet girl?” Violet blushed at the nickname, Connor only really used it if she was in the middle of an anxiety or a panic attack. She just nodded as she closed her eyes, smelling the fading scent of Connor from the pillow. 

“How about I can go and get it and then bring it back.”

“I came here to see you, I want to spend time with you especially because you have games the next two days.” Her eyes focused on the ground before fiddling with her fingers and picking at them.

Connor placed a hand over her own to stop her from picking at them, “Hey, stop it. You can go with me if you want.”

She popped up quickly, “Okay!”

✧༺✎༻∞

 

Ollie ate in the guest room, not wanting to impede on the growing relationship happening outside her door. Violet and Connor sat in the small living room watching the Blues and Devils game. They were in the middle of talking when all of a sudden the announcers started talking loudly and they couldn’t hear the sound of the skates anymore. 

Violet looked at the TV to see Jack against the boards, not moving. She gasped in horror as they played the replay, even though it didn’t look that bad, he still wasn’t moving. Her leg started to bounce anxiously, Connor pulled her to his side, “Hey it’s okay, sweet girl. He’s going to be okay.”

Even though they weren’t the closest friends, they still cared about each other. Jack and Violet’s relationship was just a bunch of banter and annoyance for one another, but if she needed to or if he did, they knew they could go to each other. 

She never stopped thinking of the worst possible outcome, “What if he’s not? Luke must be so worried right now. I couldn’t imagine if Adam or Luca got hurt.”

The boy moved her to sit in front of him and she wrapped her arms around his torso. Connor unfolded his legs and she scooted closer so she could rest her head on his chest. He wrapped an arm around her and placed his other hand on her head, keeping it where it was, “He’s fine, sweetheart. Calm down, please. I hate seeing you cry.”

She calmed down at his touch, one of the quickest times she had calmed down from an emotional high. When she pulled away Connor looked down at her, “Hey there she is.”

He wiped the tears off of her cheeks and smiled, “There’s the pretty girl.”

She groaned, hiding her face back in his chest once more, a blush rising to her face, “Connor. Stop it.”

✧༺✎༻∞

Before the game, Violet and Ollie went out and explored Chicago. They went to the Bean and went to Magnolia Bakery. They went shopping because they both knew that if Connor had gone with them, he would’ve tried to pay for everything. 

Ollie teased the girl as she put on her Bedard jersey, “When are you guys going to get together?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on. You two are so in love with each other that it’s annoying and gross.”

“We are not.”

“Then what were all the nicknames I heard last night, ‘sweet girl’, ‘pretty girl’, ‘sweetheart’?”

“He was just being nice. No one could like me like that.”

“What do you mean V? You are one of the most amazing people ever. You are the kindest soul, you’re out of this world gorgeous, and you make time for everyone. You are the main character of a book or a movie.”

“No, I’m not and can we move on from this, please?” Ollie frowned, saddened by her friend's self-esteem. 

The two drove in almost complete silence, Violet worrying about whether or not Connor liked her. Sure, she had had a deep affection for the boy but when her roommate asked her that question she couldn’t stop asking herself if she liked him.

She never knew why they instantly clicked, whether it was because she was a damsel in distress and he saved her, or simply just because they were the same age. They never went a day without communicating and that hadn’t happened to her ever. She did find it weird that he always wanted to pay for things but she thought it was just because he was being a gentleman. Her last boyfriend was a point-blank asshole that she never told anyone about, so she was unfamiliar with a healthy and good relationship. 

As they pulled into the United Center, Violet felt another wave of anxiety rushing through her, she didn’t want Connor to get hurt. She noticed all the other Bedard jerseys on other people’s backs. She hadn’t felt that bothered by it until she noticed a group of girls, roughly the same age as her, maybe a year younger, and an intense feeling of jealousy came over her. 

‘They are so much prettier than me.’ ‘Connor would be happier with them.’ ‘They probably don’t have issues like I do.’ ‘They probably don’t have a fit over every little thing that happens.’

She pushed the thoughts out of her head, she was here to see Connor, and Connor was excited for her to be here. She and Ollie conversed throughout the game, making little comments here and there. Connor kept looking at her when he was on the bench or when the play stopped. 

When he got his goal, Violet jumped so high, excited for the boy. He pointed at her as he skated back to the bench, a barely noticeable wink but when they showed him on the video board she blushed. Some of the girls were talking around her but she couldn’t pay any mind to it when he was on the ice, eyes laser focused on not only him but anyone who came close to him. 

When he got his high-sticking penalty in the third period, Ollie nudged her, “Ooooo, looks like you got yourself a bad boy.”

“Shut up.”

After the game was over, they stayed behind waiting for the stars of the game. The second star of the game was Connor and he pointed at her once more with his stick, causing her cheeks to redden again. He could do anything at this point and she would blush. 

They met Connor back at his apartment and Ollie went immediately to bed. Violet stayed up until Connor was done with his shower and he laid down next to her, “Hi.”

“Hi. nice job tonight.”

“Thank you.”

“I got you something.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to, now shut up and close your eyes.” Violet walked over to her bag where she had hidden the bouquet. 

When it was in her hand she sat in front of him on the bed and held it out, “Open.”

Connor opened his eyes and looked down, eyes immediately watering, “You made me a bouquet?”

He had always wanted one after she told him about them. There was something about Violet's flowers that just made him so happy and the fact that he got one made him feel special, “Thank you.”

He examined the flowers with precision, not wanting to miss any details, “What are they?”

“Canterbury bells.”

“And what do they mean?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Of course!”

“They represent faith, gratitude, and constancy. I’m really grateful for you and they just reminded me of a special person which is you.”

Connor couldn’t help but let a few tears fall, “That means a lot.”

“Con, don’t cry!”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay.” She hugged him tightly, and that’s how the two fell asleep that night.

✧༺✎༻∞

violetsdiaries

liked by lhughes_06, jackhughes, nicohischier, and 586,431 others

violetsdiaries i went to chicago this weekend and saw my best friend! if you wish to know, the sunflowers are for Luke, the multi-colored roses are for Nico as a get better, and the opened tulips are for Jack as a get better as well. if you're worried, don't be! luke's taking care of them for me 🫶🏻 missed you lukey 🥲

tagged lhughes_06, ollie.barnes, jack hughes, nicohischier

view 9873 comments

lhughes_06 they arrived safely to jersey

⤷ violetsdiaries thank you, thank you, thank you

jackhughes thanks, v. they're really nice

⤷ violetsdiaries of course jacky, don't say i never did naything ncie for you

nicohischier we've met each other once? twice? i can't believe you made me a famous violet bouquet.

⤷ violetsdiaries nico you are the most precious person ever. also famous??

⤷ nicohischier yeah, lhughes_06 never shuts up about them

⤷ violetsdiaries lukeyyyy you got some explaining to do

⤷ lhughes_06 no i don't

adamfantilli wait, there's four bouquets there 🧐

⤷ violetsdiaries i guess that one year of college really paid off 😧

⤷ adamfantilli i don't need your sass missy

⤷ violetsdiaries i was going to tell you but after that comment...

user01 she's so secretive but i'm kind of living for it

user02 i really want to know who that fourth bouquet is for 😫

⤷ user03 fr, i need to know who's so special for them to get a violet bouquet

⤷ user04 the torture needs to end violetsdiaries

⤷ violetsdiaries i would love to tell you guys, but not yet

luca.fantilli you'll tell me tho right violetsdiaries? i'm your favorite brother

⤷ violetsdiaries hahaha no

ollie.barnes hehe adamfantilli & luca.fantilli i know!

⤷ adamfantilli ollie, you're our favorite

⤷ luca.fantilli yeah, adam will buy you anything you want

⤷ ollie.barnes sorry boys, i'm loyal to violet

thompsonjared63 you went to a hockey game without us

⤷ violetsdiaries i'm so sorry, i'll bring you next time

⤷ _connorbedard uh...

⤷ user05 connor why you being like that

⤷ user06 a little sus

⤷ user07 1. who is this man and 2. why is he in her comment section

⤷ user05 he was the first overall pick in the 2023 nhl draft and apparently he knows violet, he's been liking and commenting on her posts for like five or six months now

⤷ violetsdiaries no comment

user08 i feel like her and connor would be a really cute couple

⤷ user09 agreed!

⤷ markestapa i don't

user10 chicago vlog!

✧༺✎༻∞

messyviolets

liked by ollie.barnes, _connorbedard, lhughes_06 and 298,753 others

messyviolets ollie and i had a bit of fun in chicago... i came for one but saw another... anyways i missed luke so much so it was good to see him. thank you to ollie for the most amazing pics ever

tagged lhuges_06, ollie.barnes

view 1234 comments

lhughes_06 missed my best friend 💜

⤷ markestapa i miss my best friend too

⤷ violetsdiaries i'm so sorry marky, i promise i'll visit over break

⤷ markestapa you better

markestapa adamfantilli, luca.fantilli, and i are alll ganging up on you. who's this mysterious person??

⤷ messyviolets no, i deserve my privacy 🙂

nathan.dash she's abandoning us

⤷ aidan.taylor we should kidnap her

⤷ mmcarthy06 as much as i would love to, we can't

⤷ emmett.joy not if she consents

⤷ aidan.taylor then it wouldn't be kidnapping

⤷ drakenilescox we should ask her messyviolets

⤷ messyviolets we're hanging out this weekend 🤭

⤷ a.varrassi22 yay!

⤷ alekleskaj17 yay!

⤷ nathan.dash yay!

⤷ justin.rolland94 yay!

⤷ nick7andersen yay!

⤷ thompsonjared63 yay!

⤷ aidan.taylor yay!

⤷ mmcarthy06 yay!

⤷ drakenilescox yay!

markestapa why are all these illini guys here?

⤷ messyviolets because they are my friends, you got a problem with it estapa?

⤷ aidan.taylor yeah, estapa

⤷ messyviolets aidan, honey, no fighting

⤷ aidan.taylor sorry, v

⤷ markestapa um, not really you're business either

⤷ messyviolets i know you're upset i didn't go to umich, mark, but you can't be acting like this

ollie.barnes we need to have more road trips together

liked by messyviolets

_connorbedard so... you went to a hawks game

⤷ messyviolets of course! gotta support lukasreichel44

⤷ lukasreichel44 oh yeah, totally

⤷ messyviolets lukas and i are best friends

⤷ _connorbedard i thought i was your best friend

⤷ lhughes_06 _connorbedard that's what i thought too

⤷ adam.fantilli you're really hustling all these guys messyviolets

⤷ messyviolets you have no clue, bro

_connorbedard you didn't die while driving

⤷ ollie.barnes that's because she mad me drive

⤷ messyviolets hey, i drove in the city! you should be proud of me connie

⤷ _connorbedard i am very proud of you, v

⤷ user11 wait they are so cute

⤷ user12 if we don't get more bantilli i will cry, or riot, but mostly cry

⤷ user11 ikr, if he's been who she's posting about, ugh they are amazing and so cute, it's literally like a dream

⤷user13 they are like straight of a book like a forbidden romance or a hidden romance

⤷ user12 wait, you're so right!

_quinnhughes how do you always manage to find cones?

⤷ violetsdiaries because I like them so they just show up everywhere and anywhere

𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

if your name is crossed out it means i couldn't tag you

@ivy-34 | @itsnotgray | @daisysnhl | @love4ldr | @dancerbailey3 | @love4lando | @thescooby-gang | @biscuit-muffin05 | @toasttt11

[zegrasdrysdale]

hockey fic masterlist

updated : april 27th, 2024 10:10 pm

KEY : ❀ = fluff | ✧ = angst | ♡ = smut / nsfw

players are in alphabetical order by last name

cole caufield

to love and to be loved [ ❀ ]

zen [ ❀ ]

jamie drysdale

sneaking into vegas [ ❀ ] ~ PART ONE

hotel room service [ ♡ ] ~ PART TWO

protect the heart [ ✧ ]

last season [ ✧ ]

not our time [ ❀ ]

your last name [ ❀ ]

plus sign [ ❀ ]

oh canada [ ♡ ]

photograph [ ❀ ]

morning sun [ ♡ ]

what’s in a name [ ❀ ]

ethan edwards

that way [ ♡ ❀ ]

make me forget [ ♡ ]

luca fantilli

pent up [ ♡ ]

nico hischier

slip of the tongue [ ♡ ]

nightmare [ ❀ ]

sober thoughts [ ❀ ]

jack hughes

one day [ ❀ ]

daddy's girl [ ❀ ]

bitter rivals [ ♡ ]

luke hughes

604 miles [ ✧ ❀ ]

5 more minutes [ ❀ ]

matthew knies

helping hand [ ♡ ]

john marino

positively negative [ ✧ ❀ ]

first time forever [ ❀ ]

trevor zegras

aftermath [ ❀✧ ]

other masterlists

christmas fic marathon

eternal summer au universe

[nhlclover]

snowflakes sparks fly au

✭ — summary: sofia's finally admits her feelings for rutger

✭ — warnings: angst

✭ — a/n: …sorry lol. also i don’t know if i like this soz

✭ — word count: 0.85k

Sofia was struck with nerves, sitting at the café table. Her knee was bouncing and she felt her palms slick with sweat. She honestly couldn't believe she was doing this.

Based on Rutgers text, Sofia had about 3 minutes to perfect her speech. Maybe she should steer away from a speech. More of a declaration. Of feelings.

Sofia wasn't entirely sure where this burst of confidence came from. Over the past few weeks, she'd worked up the nerve to tell Rutger about her feelings. He had agreed to meet for coffee, under the guise that Sofia wanted to bounce some ideas off him for their upcoming final essay. In actuality, Sofia was going to tell Rutger how she truly felt about him. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to practically ambush him, but Sofia didn't know how else to do it.

His latest behaviour, with Rutger constantly cancelling and barely talking to her in class, was maybe a sign she shouldn’t do this. Because what if he doesn’t like her back? What if Sofia ruins a friendship that she felt so comfortable in? 

These thoughts are immediately gone from her mind as she spots him walking on the sidewalk, approaching the cafe doors. He sits down, his brown hair covered in little snowflakes, slowly melting from the warmth of the café. The sight of him brings a sense of ease.

The new season entering Ann Arbor brought joy to Sofia. She loves the winter season, seeing the snow-coated ground and the surrounding houses beginning to be decorated with lights for the approaching holiday. 

"Hey." He smiles.

"Hi." Sofia replies softly.

It's silent for a few moments as Sofia simply looks at the boy across from her. His cheeks were tinged with a light pink hue from the bite of the wind.

"So you wanted to go over the essay?' Rutger probes.

"Oh, uh, I lied." Sofia says. Her heartbeat picks up as she realizes what she is about to say. Rutgers brows furrow as leans on the table in front of him. "I asked you here because I kind of wanted to talk to you about something."

Rutger stays silent allowing Sofia to continue. Any previous plan or words Sofia had thought of went out the window. Her mind was blank with any way to ease into her confession. It was out of her mouth before she knew it.

"I like you." Sofia says.

The words hang in the air as both Sofia and Rutger process what was just said. 

Rutgers' thoughts were going a million miles a minute. While Rutger was over the moon that the girl he'd been infatuated with did return his feelings, the fact that she was Luca and Adam's sister was weighing on him. If Rutger and Sofia were to ever date and God forbid something happened and Sofia was left heartbroken, the two Fantilli brothers would never forgive him. He would lose three people he cared about in one fell swoop.

“I like you as…as in more than a friend. I would say I have a crush on you but that feels a little juvenile and I don’t want it to come across as just that I think you’re cute, and don’t get me wrong I do think you’re cute cause, like, wow you are, but I also just really like being around you and—”

Sofia is suddenly very aware of the fact that she has been rambling and shuts her mouth promptly. “I’m sorry, I should let you speak.”

“Sofia…we can’t have feelings for each other.”

Sofia’s caught off guard by his response. “I…I’m sorry?”

“I mean…Sofia come on.” Rutger says. “You’re Adam and Luca’s sister.”

Sofia furrows her brows. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, it would be weird if I dated their sister. I mean I’m best friends with them, they’re practically my brothers.”

“What, it feels like I’m a sister to you?” Sofia asked.

“I guess so.” Rutger says.

Sofia can’t help but let her jaw go slack at his answer. Sofia knew that it would maybe be a bit weird for her to date her brother's friend, but not a complete deal breaker. Sofia nods, suddenly feeling stupid and embarrassed. She was so sure he liked her back. 

“I’m going to go.” Sofia says, standing up, the chair scraping against the floor. The tears she knew were inevitable began to brim in her eyes.

“Sofia… Rutger says, reaching for her but she’s just too far.

“No, it’s okay.” She says, wiping away a tear immediately as it escapes. “Good luck at your game tomorrow.”

Sofia leaves, stepping out into the falling snow, flakes delicately landing in her hair and melting on contact. Despite the freezing temperature outside, her body felt like it was on fire. Sweating under her jacket, she walked down the sidewalk at a rapid pace, just wanting to be in her dorm.

Rutgers' response to Sofia confessing her feelings was much more than just rejection. He made her feel small, like a little girl.

She finally reaches her building, collapsing into sobs when she was safely alone inside her dorm. Sofia couldn’t help but feel utterly stupid, having embarrassed herself completely. Crawling under her covers she allowed her emotions to overflow, crying into exhaustion as she replayed the scene in the coffee shop.

[drysdalesworld]

masterlist ੈ✩‧₊˚

this is my masterlist for this blog! my first blog is @normspellsman if you want to check out my other works! <3

will include hockey & percy jackson related works

request guidelines! <3

♡ = fluff | ☹︎ = angst / no comfort | ✧ = comfort | ♢ = suggestive content | ♠︎ = other | ❦ = requested | ❀ = popular

HOCKEY

Anaheim Ducks —

Trevor Zegras

Imagines:

none!

Blurbs:

none!

Headcanons:

none!

Social Media:

none!

New Jersey Devils —

Nico Hischier

Imagines:

none!

Blurbs:

none!

Headcanons:

none!

Social Media:

none!

Luke Hughes

Imagines:

none!

Blurbs:

none!

Headcanons:

none!

Social Media:

puppy love

Jack Hughes

Imagines:

none!

Blurbs:

none!

Headcanons:

none!

Social Media:

none!

Philadelphia Flyers —

Jamie Drysdale

Imagines:

(pre-trade) always trust the match maker (jamie’s version), part two — ♡ | ☹︎ (ish) | ✧

jamie drysdale x fem!reader ➡︎ in which trevor zegras is the ultimate match maker and proves it to you after your last failed relationship.

sneak peek!

Blurbs:

of puppies & jealousy ( ❦)

Headcanons:

none!

Social Media:

ducks, ducks, ducks (pre trade)

completely serious

to the moon & back

summer lovin’

beautiful girl

Montreal Canadiens

Cole Caufield

Imagines:

none!

Blurbs:

none!

Headcanons:

none!

Social Media:

none!

Kirby Dach

Imagines:

nothing but trouble — ♡ | ☹︎ | ✧

kirby dach x fem!xhekaj!reader ➡︎ in which arber finds out about you & kirby’s relationship. he isn’t very pleased to say the least.

Blurbs:

none!

Headcanons:

none!

Social Media:

none!

Vancouver Canucks

Quinn Hughes

Imagines:

none!

Blurbs:

orange peel theory

Headcanons:

none!

Social Media:

quinn girlie

UMICH

Luca Fantilli

Imagines:

always trust the match maker (luca’s version) — ♡ | ☹︎ (ish) | ✧

luca fantilli x fem!reader ➡︎ in which rutger mcgroarty is the ultimate match maker and proves it to you after your last failed relationship.

Blurbs:

“wait, let me get mark!” ➡︎ luca reacting to the tiktok voicemail prank and somehow getting mark involved.

Headcanons:

none!

Social Media:

my lover — ❦

ALL

Headcanons:

them with a highly energetic child

them with a shy & quiet child — ❦

them with a laboring s/o — ❦

Percy Jackson Universe

Percy Jackson

Imagines:

the sun & it’s shadow — ♡ | ☹︎

percy jackson x platonic!fem!nike!reader ➡︎ the sun needs a shadow, a protégé to continue it’s legacy within it’s presence. the sun can live without its shadow, but it’s shadow cannot live without its sun.

Blurbs:

none!

Headcanons:

“why are you hanging halfway out your window?” ( ❦ ) ➡︎ in which percy, thalia, & nico catch reader sneaking out to see their partner.

Social Media:

sixteen candles

Clarisse La Rue

Imagines:

none!

Blurbs:

none!

Headcanons:

none!

Social Media:

terrorizing & love notes

Luke Castellan

Imagines:

work song — ♡ | ☹︎

luke castellan x fem!nike!reader ➡︎ luke would do anything for you, even give up his years long vengeance plan the minute you ask.

Blurbs:

none!

Headcanons:

none!

Social Media:

none!

Fic Recommendations! <3

Hockey:

you’d know — j. drysdale

author: @ohmyeyesmyeyes

had a smile on my face the entire time i was reading this work. it’s so cute & made me giggle 🎀

hey, i can be your boyfriend! — n. hischier

author: @theemporium

the fake dating trope is my literal weakness & never fails to make go absolutely feral. i loved how nico was super respectful of reader yet didn’t let jackson & his shit slide at all. the scene where nico picks reader up after the football/soccer game literally had me foaming at the mouth. their works never fail to make me feel some type of way i swear 💓

PJO:

[writingonleaves]

i tell you that i think i'm falling back in love with you - luca fantilli

pairing: luca fantilli x original female character

warnings: swearing, slight angst, mostly fluff, like one mention of COVID, proofread maybe once, probably too many taylor swift references

word count: 9.2k

based on: "the alcott" by the national ft. taylor swift + "this love" by taylor swift. title from "the alcott"

author's note: first one ahhh!!! had this done months ago when i saw that day in the life video the umich social team posted of luca and then promptly went on a six hour plane ride and banged this out. apologies if some of the details are inaccurate — i tried my best though some are also made purposefully to fit with the narrative

*****

Melody Lin rarely talks about it. 

In the instance that it gets brought up, she just shrugs, always giving just a brief overview because there’s no point in summing up 18 years of history in a few sentences, especially when she knows if she thinks about it too much and talks about it out loud she’ll get emotional. 

Growing up in the suburbs of Toronto was the typical suburban experience. She grew up only a street and a 2 minute car ride from her best friend Shayla and even though Shayla ended up going to University of Michigan and she went to Northwestern, they remained the closest of friends. Melody’s close with the whole Gallo family to the point where she just walks in and no one bats an eye anymore. Wherever Melody is, Shayla isn’t far behind, and vice versa. 

Being close with the Gallo family means she’s been to almost every family gathering, every big family event. Everyone in their families knows the other because the two girls are so close that they’re pretty much sisters. 

Melody doesn’t even remember the day she met Luca Fantilli. 

Luca is one of Shayla’s many cousins, only two years younger than Shayla. His family lives around a 10 minute drive away, so their parents love to gather on the weekends, therefore bringing the kids close together. Age wise, it goes Shayla, then Luca two years later, then Adam and Katie, Shayla’s younger sister, are the same age. There’s other cousins, older and younger, but these four have always been close, finding themselves naturally in a group when their families get together.

That means that naturally, Melody grew up also being close with the four, coming by many weekends when the cousins gathered and being dragged into their shenanigans, from playing tag when they were kids to piling in a car to get ice cream when they were teenagers. And they loved her too. Katie loved having another older sister figure with Melody being more calm compared to Shayla. Adam loved how funny she was and how no matter how much shit they gave her, she’d brush it all off with an easy smile. 

And then Luca. Like his brother and cousins, he loved how friendly she was. During the few years they overlapped in the same school, she always said hi to him in the hallways, never treating him or his brother any differently just because they were younger. When he needed a ride, whether it was to the rink or gym or that he just wanted to get out of the house, he could always text her and she would drive him, even if she gave him flack for it. And even though she started out as just Shayla’s friend, they quickly grew to have their own friendship, texting from time to time even when he was at Kimball for two years and she went off to college. He loved how giving she was and how smart she was and how no one ever really seemed to have a bad word to say about her. He’d always light up at seeing her and looked forward to the crushing hugs she would give him, especially after a few months of not seeing each other.

Those weekends are imprinted in Melody’s brain, when the Gallo house is loud and lively and all the adults are chatting and laughing and the kids are off doing whatever they want, her and Shayla always being put in charge because they’re the oldest of the five. Sometimes there were guest stars — Shayla’s high school boyfriend, Adam’s high school girlfriend, whoever the hell Luca was dating at the time, Katie and her best friend — but it was mostly just the five of them. 

It was always Shay, Mel, Luca, Adam and Katie.

(If you ask Luca now, he probably fell in love with her back when they were teenagers, somewhere between when she would drive him and his brother home after a rough practice and let them rant and when she’d laugh so loudly by the pool during the summer that she’d snort)

(Melody obviously loved everything about Shayla, thought Adam was one of the sweetest boys she’s ever met and adored Katie like a younger sibling. But even from the start, she had a special place in her heart for Luca, with his infectious smile and his positive energy. Somewhere along the way, he stopped being just Shayla’s cousin)

That friendship strengthened when he and Adam signed a commitment to play with the Chicago Steel starting Melody’s sophomore year at Northwestern. Shayla was thankful that her best friend was there for her two younger cousins, though the two hockey players never needed anyone to look after them. Since Melody had a car and her and Shayla’s breaks often overlapped, Melody would grab Adam and Luca in Chicago and then drive through Ann Arbor to pick Shayla up as they all headed home. The drive wasn’t all that bad, especially with the company.

Somewhere during the start of her sophomore year, she and Luca confessed to each other that they had feelings towards each other and started dating. It started out well. Inbetween her classes and college commitments and his practices and games, they’d find time to see each other. It helped that they both had cars as well. 

There was this cafe / book bar place between them called The Alcott that she had discovered by a recommendation from a friend who lived around the area that wasn’t closed because of COVID. That started to become the place for them to meet. Whether she had to drag along her laptop and notebooks or not, it started to become their place. She tried to go to as many of his games as she could and he tried to come to campus to be with her, even when she was cramming for exams and couldn’t give him much attention. 

She’d feel bad during the days where she wasn’t much fun, but he didn’t care. Being in her presence was enough, he’d always say with an encouraging kiss and a promise for milkshakes after dinner as a treat before he’d have to go back to Chicago. She met his teammates and he met her college friends and they tried and tried to make it work. When the Chicago Steel won the Clark Cup, she made it a priority to go to watch the final, not having been able to go to his last regular season game and all of playoffs due to final projects and labs. At the end, she had leaned over the boards to crush Adam in a tight hug before kissing Luca sweetly.

And then two weeks after that, when summer was about to start — which should’ve been the time they would be at their best and brightest together, things started to fall apart. Though, when Melody looks back at it now, things were slowly falling apart for a bit before then. Pointed questions about what each other’s plans were for the night when they could’ve been together, weak excuses for skipping the nightly FaceTime call, just generally not as much effort from both sides. 

Even throughout it all, she still deeply cared about him. That didn’t change even during their last argument that led to their break up. 

“Mel, I don’t know what you want me to do at this point,” Luca says, pacing around her room and running his hair through his hair. 

“I don’t ask for much,” she says, biting her lip, watching him pace and trying to keep her control. “I know hockey keeps you busy. I get it. I knew what I was signing up for. But I didn’t hear from you for a week, Luca. Not a call. Not even a good morning text. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?”

“I told you I was going to be busy, angel.” Even the pet name doesn’t soften her. She starts raising her voice.

“Goddammit, Luca. I know! But guess what? I’m also busy too. You think college is easy? I don’t know if I’ve slept for more than 5 hours a night this last month. But I still make the time.” 

“Do you?” His eyes flash with something she’s never seen from him before. He’s not quite yelling, but he’s not talking at a normal volume either. “When’s the last time we went out to dinner? When’s the last time before the final that you came to one of my games? Jackson asked me before the final if we were still together since he hadn’t seen you. Do you know how fucked up that is?”

“Since when the fuck do you care about what anyone has to say?”

“Since all of their girlfriends are in the stands every week!”

She flinches. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to playoffs but you told me it was okay. I didn’t know you felt that way because you don’t talk to me anymore. I can’t read your mind. I’m trying my best here.”

“You know what? I can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t do what?” She whispers. 

“This. Us. It’s clearly not working.”

“Luca.”

He sits down on the chair across from her and puts his head in his hands momentarily. “You’re right. We barely talk. We’re both so busy. The last thing I want is for you to resent me.”

“So that’s it?” She croaks out. 

His eyes are watery. “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be, angel.”

“You’re the one making this hard!” She bites her lip and looks up to keep the tears from falling, which isn’t working because a couple tears still slip out. She fights a brief battle with herself and then deflates. “I’m always going to be your biggest supporter.”

He lets out a shaky breath. “Mel.”

“I mean it. I meant it years ago when we were kids. I mean it now. I’ll mean it forever.”

He laughs hollowly. “This sucks.” He lets out a shaky breath. “Do you think we could still be friends?”

She tries to smile. “Well, I’m still best friends with your cousin and that’s not gonna change. So I’m sure I’ll see you around.” She swallows. “I need time though, if we want to be friends in the future.”

“I get it. Yeah.” He sighs. “I’m sorry.”

She shrugs dejectedly. “I’m sorry too.”

“Can I get one more hug?”

The hug is already sad enough. The kiss in her hair has her crying into his chest. 

It was tough that summer especially, because she still wanted to spend time with Shayla and she also knew that Shayla still wanted to see Luca. But it was still too fresh, so when she knew that Luca was coming by, she avoided going to Shayla’s, which her best friend understood. She took Adam out for ice cream a couple of times, genuinely wanting to see how he was doing and catch up and everything was good and normal as they steered away from topics that were still fresh. Except during one hug as she dropped him off, where he whispered in her ear, “I know it’s too soon. I completely get it. But I know Luca would love to see you before you head back to school.”

(She doesn’t end up seeing him)

Junior year comes and goes. She has a great time despite the hours of studying for exams and the stress of classes. She makes new friends, gets closer with her old ones, collects new memories and laughs until there’s no sound coming out of her mouth. She sometimes wakes up with a hangover, but has to trudge to the library anyway to cram for a Monday morning exam. The first time she goes to The Alcott post break-up, she tries to sit in the spot by the corner and she has to leave within 5 minutes so she doesn’t have a meltdown in public.

Shayla tells her that Luca and Adam are both officially committed to play at Michigan next year, and she’s not sure if she should text them. She ends up texting them both separately right when they post on Instagram though because she’s so happy and excited and proud of them, even if Luca isn’t hers anymore.

i heard about the good news!! congrats on umich (officially)!! 

Thanks Mel!! So good to hear from you. I hope all is good at Northwestern

all’s good here! seriously, luca. i’m so proud of you. 

He simply had liked the text and it was enough for the both of them. It had to be enough. 

She tried her best to steer away from hearing about him, but it was really hard, especially when both him and Adam were doing so well in hockey and were the talk of the town, especially back home. They always had been, but nowadays it was more and more and it was bittersweet to hear. 

She didn’t come back home for the summer of her senior year, her internship leading her to New York City. And while it was sad because she couldn’t see Shayla, who herself was doing an internship in Detroit, it gave her a bit of relief that she wasn’t going to be in her hometown when a large  reason she calls it home is because of the boy who she had given her heart to. She had fun in New York, went on a couple of dates — which was the most she’s done with her romantic life since her breakup — but while her friends were living up their summers and she was cheering them on, she couldn’t shake the feeling of the younger Italian hockey player away from her mind. She hated that she couldn’t shake him off.

(You’ve been friends for almost two decades, Shayla would remind her. Of course you’re not gonna get over it quickly. There’s too much history there)

As Melody entered her senior year, she set out a goal to have fun. Work hard, of course, but also to have fun and really enjoy her last year. With parts of her college experience being interrupted by the pandemic, she felt like it was only right to give herself some time before she’d be in labs and research the rest of her life.

She still followed Luca on social media, so she saw his Snapchat stories and his Instagram posts. He looked like he was having a blast at Michigan and she honestly couldn’t have been any happier for him, even if there was always a stab of something in her heart seeing him pop up on her feed. She still drove through Ann Arbor during school breaks to pick up Shayla, and now Adam and Luca as well when they didn’t have to stay for hockey commitments. Shayla tried telling her friend that she didn’t have to, but Melody always waved her off. Luca texted her happy birthday and she did the same and she ended up crying in the shower both times. 

Shayla had convinced her to come to a Michigan vs Michigan State hockey game and Melody didn’t really have an excuse, since she was gonna drive up that morning from Northwestern to go home for winter break. She had been hesitant, not wanting to overstep but Shayla had just laughed in her face. Come to Michigan, stay the night with me, and then we’ll all head back to Ontario in the morning. Shayla had even gotten Adam and Luca to text her to convince her, with Luca’s text being the final push

Heard from Shay and Adam that you were hesitant on coming to the game. If that hesitancy is because of me, please don’t let it be. It’ll be a fun one.)

The game is fun and thrilling, just like Luca promised it would be. Melody’s met some of Shayla’s college friends before and they’re no less welcoming than they always are. After the game ends, Shayla and her are walking back to her apartment when Shayla stops. Adam just texted me, she says. They’re all at one of the hockey houses and they want to meet you. Let’s stop by. Melody stills for a moment before letting Shayla lead her in the opposite direction. She knows Shayla knows some of the guys, but she’s never met any of them and she doesn’t want to make it awkward. 

But that thought immediately goes away as Adam hugs her and spins her around as soon as they walk in, causing her to laugh and Shayla to pout playfully. Adam just rolls his eyes after setting Melody down. Shay, I see you all the time, he says. Melody gets on her tiptoes and kisses him quickly on the cheek, rolling her eyes as he playfully wipes it off. He leads them into the house and Melody’s thrown into a round of introductions and she’s a bit overwhelmed but she’s smiley and friendly and congratulates them all on the win. She’s immediately enraptured in a brief conversation with Nolan Moyle, Mark Estapa and Luke Hughes and she pretends to not see the other guys eyeing Luca with a knowing look.

Melody Lin rarely talks about it. She wonders how much Luca Fantilli does, especially since they all seem to know who she is. 

She would be the slightest bit uncomfortable, but a majority of them are younger than her and she knows how to deal with the rowdiness of hockey boys. So weirdly enough, she feels right at home, even though it’s her first time here. 

When she finally makes her way to Luca, she smiles, even if it’s a bit dimmed. She’s keenly aware of eyes on her but she tries to ignore them as she hugs him tightly, trying not to breathe in his cologne too much.

“Good game,” she mutters into his ear before pulling away. 

“Thanks, angel.” 

She kinda wants to kill him. He lost his right to call her that when he broke up with her. But she just smiles before turning to introduce herself to Ethan Edwards. 

When she pulls up to Adam and Luca’s place the next morning with a big yawn, Shayla in the seat next to her, Adam hands Shayla a hot chocolate and she’s pleasantly surprised when Luca hands her an iced coffee. She takes a sip as they dump their bags in the trunk. A latte with two pumps of vanilla syrup. He still remembers.

She hates him. She loves him. She’ll always love him

(She watches the game on her laptop and sighs sadly when Michigan’s run at the Frozen Four is cut short. She texts in the group chat consisting of Shayla, Katie, Adam, Luca and her rather than individually. 

💛💙proud of you both always

When Adam wins the Hobey Baker the day after, she immediately calls him, not expecting him to answer and ready to leave a voicemail. But he answers after two rings, and the first thing he asks is if they can switch to FaceTime. Suddenly, her screen is filled with Adam with his shades on in the Florida sun with the disgusting mullet. She just grins and congratulates him while he’s positively beaming. He shows her the trophy briefly and she hears some of his teammates yelling their greetings and she just laughs at all the chaos. She lets him go after another round of congratulations and tries not to let her smile fade when Luca comes on the screen with a wave.

Her heart aches.)

Graduation week is crazy and bittersweet and wonderful as she says goodbye to her younger friends and holds on to make some last minute memories with her best friends before her family and loved ones come to celebrate officially at the ceremony. She has dinner with her parents, her older sister Elena, Shayla and Shayla’s parents the night before her school convocation. She cheers for her friends when they walk across the stage the next morning, tries not to trip when she walks across and honestly kind of blacks out. Shespots her family in the stands purely from Shayla waving like crazy and laughs, waving back. Through all the chaos, she finds her family afterwards and pauses. 

Because there’s Luca. Dressed in a white short sleeved button down and blue jeans, hair out of a baseball cap for once and standing there with a sheepish smile, a beautiful bouquet of purple and white flowers in his hand. 

Why is he here? 

She tears her eyes away from him as she hugs her parents and sister with a big smile. She squeals as she hugs Shayla, swaying side by side, reflecting back to late April when Shayla was the one graduating and the positions were reversed.

But all she can see is Luca. You, you, you, her mind whispers. 

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“I didn’t know you were coming.”

He shrugs. “Wanted to surprise you.” He hugs her and she can’t help but smile being tucked into his chest. “Congrats, Mel. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks,” She mutters, blinking as he gives her the flowers. “These are beautiful. Jesus.”

“Here, let me hold something for you.” He takes her bag off her shoulder as well as her diploma out of her hands as she adjusts the three bouquets of flowers she’s gotten, trying not to crush any of them. 

“Picture time!” Melody’s mom exclaims and then there’s a flurry of smiling and picture taking and lighting and angles and every combination possible, ending with Melody and Luca.

(When her mom sends the pictures later that night, she blinks at how couply they look. There’s a particular picture where she’s laughing at something Shayla said off camera and he’s looking at her like he might still be in love with her)

They stop by her apartment briefly so they can change before they all go to dinner. Apparently, everyone else knew Luca was coming because no one bats an eye as he comes along to their dinner. She’ll have to talk to Shayla about that later. 

And it’s good, really. The conversation is easy and the food is good and she tries to ignore everytime her elbows brush against Luca’s and notes when his arm is around her chair so she doesn't lean back. They discuss the plan for the next day where Melody is just planning on packing before the all university commencement the day after. Her family is planning to explore the Chicago area while Shayla is attending another friend’s commencement at University of Chicago. When Luca’s asked of his plans, he hesitates. She doesn’t know what makes her say her next sentence, but she says it. 

“If you wouldn’t mind, I could use another set of hands to help me pack.”

His head whips to her, mouth open a little. She tries to smile assuringly. He nods. “I don’t mind.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’ll be fun.”

She snorts. “Packing is not fun ever, but I like the enthusiasm.”

The next morning, she picks him up from the hotel all of them are staying at (“I’m in a room with Shayla and it’s a nightmare. How does someone’s shit get everywhere in such a short period of time?”) and drives in the opposite direction from her apartment. It takes him a surprisingly short amount of time to realize that they’re going in the wrong direction. When he asks where they’re going, she bites her lip.

“I’m craving one last iced vanilla latte from The Alcott.”

Silence and then a small chuckle. “Are their blueberry muffins still as good?”

“Yup.”

“We gotta get some of those too then.”

And conversation is surprisingly easy. They talk about Michigan’s run to the Frozen Four and how that was cut short but what an amazing season they had, Adam’s World Championship win with Canada and his upcoming draft (she was invited months ago by Adam and the entire Fantilli family to Nashville, to which everyone but her was not surprised about), her last year at Northwestern, his first year at Michigan, and anything and everything in between. It’s so easy that it almost aches, the familiarity of The Alcott and what it means to her and what it means to them as she watches him order for the both of them and pays even though she tries to fight. She wanders over to the corner — their old spot — because she wants to savor this one more time before she has to let go. Before she has to let go of this place and this boy. Because she can’t keep him. He was never hers to begin with. 

“Do you remember when we were snowed in here?”

She turns her head to look back at him before letting out a small chuckle at the memory. “Yeah. You were panicking because you thought your game was still on and I was surprised when it was cancelled, considering it’s Chicago and they never cancel anything due to snow.”

“And then they gave out free coffee refills and you were probably the happiest person in this place, just studying and humming along or scribbling in your journal.”

“We must’ve been here for, what, 6 hours?” 

“Probably more, to be honest. Donna wouldn’t let a single person even think about driving until the storm had passed.”

She smiles, even if a bit sad. “Good times.”

He hums in agreement, and if she was looking at him and not out the window, she would notice that he’s looking at her fondly. “You’re a college graduate.”

She rolls her eyes. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You’re right. It’s not, because we all knew you were always the smart one. But it is a big deal because it’s just crazy how time moves so fast.”

“How do you think I feel watching you and Adam get old and go to college? Not that you were innocent before, but Adam sent me some snapchats of your shenanigans at frat parties and sometimes I genuinely wonder how you’re alive and kicking for practice the next morning.”

“Fucking Adam. Always painting me in a bad light,” Luca scoffs, before clearing his throat. “How have you been? How do you feel?” 

She lets out something between a laugh and a sigh. “Okay, I think. Overwhelmed. Excited. Scared. Thankful. Thinking about all the stuff I have to pack.” 

“Do you have most of it done?” 

She snorts. “Absolutely not. That’s what you’re here for.” 

“Glad I could be of service.” 

She stands up with her drink. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.” 

Once they get to her place, Melody puts Luca to work immediately, instructing him on which boxes to put things in as she cleans up her room. They work well together. When he’s stepping behind her to get somewhere or something, he always touches her back or elbow or shoulder gently and he doesn’t get annoyed at her indecisiveness on how to pack things, just dutifully following all her instructions. They’re about 70% done when her roommates Alison and Carey come in briefly and they meet Luca and they know exactly who he is but Melody’s thankful that they don’t let it show and gives them a meaningful look as they leave. 

By the time most of her things are packed, it’s dinner time and she suggests that they drive to another one of her favorite spots on campus to grab a bite. A little sweaty, a little exhausted, she has to stop in her tracks when he shoots her the sweetest smile, adjusting the hat on his head and washing his hands before they head out. 

And because it’s only seniors left on campus, it’s not surprising when she runs into a couple people she knows, weaving through to order and find a place to sit at the bar. More often than not she’s stopped and she introduces Luca to everyone and he’s smiling and she knows that everyone is immediately charmed because it’s Luca and that’s always been his effect on people, ever since they were kids. He’s wearing a Michigan hat and gets some chirps that he takes in stride and that make her giggle. 

(If you were to ask Luca, it makes complete sense that everyone they’ve run into has nothing but a smile on their faces. Melody’s always been able to make anyone she’s come into contact with fall in love with her) 

She heads to the bathroom at one point and when she walks back out, she sees a drop dead gorgeous blonde girl sitting where she sat and Melody’s not surprised but her heart falls a bit, watching the girl clearly flirt with him, if her body language indicates anything. She observes for a couple of seconds before taking a deep breath and walking back. She platers on the largest smile she can muster, her lips softening to a more genuine one when she sees him perk up. 

“And there she is! The reason I’m here and the star herself.”

She can’t help but chuckle. “You’re sweet.” She turns to the girl. “Hey, I’m Melody. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Connie. Nice to meet you too. You graduated this weekend too?”

“Yup. You?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, congratulations.”

“Congratulations to you as well.”

Connie turns to Luca and Melody tries her best to not roll her eyes. “It was nice to meet you, Luca. I hope Melody gives you a proper tour of Evanston.”

“Best tour guide there is,” Luca responds easily, and Connie slips out of her chair with one last smile before Melody sits back in her seat. “Cool it with the death glare.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Uh huh.” 

She takes a sip of her coke, determinedly staring at his water. “You can flirt with anyone you want.” 

“She was flirting. I wasn’t flirting back.” 

“That doesn’t sound like you,” she tries to tease lightly. “I’m sure girls fall at your feet at Michigan.” I know what that’s like, she thinks to herself. “Speaking of, anyone I should know about? Just so I can prepare myself for when I get jumpscared when I take you out for ice cream.” 

“First of all, that’s an Adam move. And nope. No one’s caught my eye.” 

“No?” 

“No.” 

“Surprising.” 

He shrugs. 

She hums, letting it go and steering towards safer conversation topics. 

In the car on the way back to the hotel, she gets the courage.

“Luca.”

“Yeah?”

“Why did you break up with me?”

A sharp inhale. The words linger in the air. She grips her steering wheel. 

“I don’t know.”

Silence. A disbelieving scoff. 

“Thanks, Luca.”

“No, no. Give me a second. I truly mean it, especially now looking back. At the time I thought it was what was best so that we would stay friends and not grow to hate each other, but when I think about it more and more, that reasoning is shit so I don’t know anymore. You deserved better.”

(Honestly, it’s probably good that they’re hashing this out now. She was far too nice to him two years ago.)

“If I deserved better why didn’t you do better?” She whispers. “Luca, you didn't even give me a chance to fix it.”

“I know. I know. I panicked and I ran and I lost you.”

“You’ve never lost me. I’m best friends with your cousin. I’ve driven you and Adam to and from school. I’m still here. The last thing I wanted to do that night was break up. You practically jumped at the chance..”

“But I lost you in the way it mattered.” He reaches over to grab her hand and she doesn’t pull away. He takes that as a good sign. “I fucked it all up, didn’t I? All this time we could’ve been together but we weren’t because I just ran away.”

“Why did you break up with me?” She repeats stoically.

“I guess, I guess I got it into my head that you deserve so much better than me. I mean, I was playing junior hockey and you were at fucking Northwestern and you’ve always been so much smarter than I am which I love, don’t get me wrong. You are so, so beautiful and kind to everyone and generous and you’ve literally been there for me since forever and… I just felt like I was holding you back and you deserve better and-“ 

“It’s not your choice to determine what I think I deserve,” she says firmly. “If you had just talked to me about it…Luca. All I wanted was for you to talk to me that night. And the few weeks before. I loved you for who you were, junior hockey and all or whatever the fuck else you said. Do you forget that we grew up together? I’ve seen it all, and I’ve stuck by you because I loved you.” 

He takes a deep breath. “Do you know why no one’s caught my eye at Michigan?” 

She freezes, having a feeling what the answer is but hoping it isn’t true (or hoping it is true). “Why?” 

“Because the only girl who I see myself with is in Chicago.” 

She swallows roughly. “You can’t just say that shit, Luca. It’s not fair.” 

“I know, I know. I just-I…I’m sorry. I know I’m not being fair. I just…I miss you. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I was coming to your graduation but I couldn’t miss it. I really am so proud of you. I’ve always been your biggest fan.”

She stops at a red light and looks at him. “I hated you for a bit.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“But looking back, I don’t think I ever hated you. I was just sad and heartbroken.”

He squeezes his eyes shut. He had always vowed to himself that he would never hurt her. The light turns green and she drives again. 

She speaks up again. “Everyone always told me time is the best thing after a breakup. I didn’t know what they meant until I did. And seeing you got easier everytime, and I still wanted the best for you, even if I wasn’t the one by your side anymore. I still do. But at the same time, I wanted to forget you.”

“Would you consider trying again?”

“Luca-”

“I, just hear me out. I fucked up. I know that. God, I knew that the second I walked out of your place that night. I love you. I still love you. And I know I’m being unfair about all of this. But I just…my life is so much better with you by my side. I’ve realized that more than ever these last two years. And if you don’t feel the same way anymore, I get it. We can keep being friends or I can give you space if you want…whatever you need. I just had to say it. I love you. I can’t really see myself ever stopping, to be honest.”

In the middle of his little speech, she had pulled into the hotel and parked, killing the engine. It’s silent for a few moments as she mulls over his words. 

“You really hurt me, Luca. I don’t know if I love you anymore.” His face starts falling, but she quickly continues. “But I think I could. Love you again, I mean. Maybe. But it has to be different this time.” He perks up but she holds up a hand and he listens. “We need to communicate better. We have to talk through our problems when they come up, not run away from them. We can’t just sweep things under the rug.”

“Deal.”

“I’m gonna be working in Chicago and you’re gonna be in Ann Arbor. The distance is still gonna be like before. We’re probably gonna be away from each other more than we’re together.”

“Worth it,” a soft smile appears on his lips. “Congratulations, by the way. On the job. I don’t know if I mentioned it yet.”

“Thank you,” she looks down at her hands. She sighs. “I wanted us to work the first time. I really did. God, Luca. You’re one of the most important people in my life.”

“I’m gonna try so hard to be someone that you deserved the first time and that you deserve now.”

She smiles a bit sadly at that. “All you need to be is yourself. That’s all I ask.”

“Deal.”

“I know things are kinda busy coming up, with your cousin’s wedding and Adam’s draft and me going on my trip. But, uh, maybe we can go on a date when I’m back? If it isn’t too late.”

“It’s never too late when it comes to you,” Luca says. “I’d love that.” He leans in to kiss her cheek. 

“Come on. I’ll walk you up to your room.”

Things still don’t quite fall into place after that weekend. The next time she sees Luca is when she comes to Nashville for the draft. Luca’s been beaming all day, extremely proud of his brother, but it doesn’t compare to the feeling he felt earlier when Melody and Shayla walked out of their hotel room, Melody wearing a blue satin jumpsuit and looking as stunning as ever. When she greeted him with a hug, he planted a brief kiss in her hair and watched fondly as she embraced Adam, straightening out his collar and placing a sweet kiss on his cheek, muttering some words to him that only those two could hear, Adam closing his eyes and nodding as she smiled. Luca knows how much her being here means to Adam.

(Only close family knew that on Adam’s vest on the back are the names of the important people in his life. When he takes off the suit jacket to show Shayla and Melody, the former beams while the latter starts sniffling. Both so proud of him. Both honored to be on his back in cursive. And Luca just hands her a tissue when she sees a particular picture on the inside of his jacket of the four of them when they were younger at the beach. It’s one of her favorites. It means so much.)

She cries when Adam gets picked third overall to the Columbus Blue Jackets and squeezes Shayla’s hand in excitement as Adam walks onto the stage. Afterwards when she sees him, she practically leaps onto him and squeezes him so tight as he spins her around. 

(“Oh, Adam,” she says with a sniffle. “I’m so, so proud of you. Congratulations.”

“Thanks, Mel.” He says into her shoulder. “Thank you for everything. Everything.”

She pulls away but can’t help herself and hugs him again. “I love you. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” he says as she backs away, biting her lip while placing her hands on his cheek.)

She’s then traveling with a couple friends around Europe and he’s in Pittsburgh for a few days for development camp before hanging out with friends and training. They text semi-frequently but she’s abroad and having fun and he respects that. He’s trying to figure out how to show her that he’s serious about the second chance she’s given him while trying not to overstep. 

When he picks her up from Toronto Pearson Airport in mid July, it’s 7 am and she looks and feels like shit. But she comes out of Arrivals and immediately sees Luca waving, big smile on his face, a Michigan shirt on, a hat flipped backwards on his hair and a bouquet of carnations in his hands, looking at her like she’s the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. She hugs him, taking the flowers with a smile as he grabs her duffle from her shoulder. Whether from exhaustion or simply because she’s missed him in more ways than she’d like to admit, she leans into his side as they walk out of the airport and into the parking lot and he immediately responds by putting an arm around her shoulder and pressing a kiss on her forehead. 

It’s so easy to fall back into rhythm with him, as she just admires him while he’s driving, too tired at the moment to recount her travels. Once they get off the highway, he puts the windows down and opens the skylight and there’s a pang of deja vu as he turns up the music a bit, humming along to some country tune. He slows down in front of Betty’s Diner and she furrows her eyebrows. 

He smiles, stopping the engine. “I’m gonna go in real quick and grab some food, okay? Told Betty you were coming back today and she insisted on cooking you your favorite. I convinced her to put it in a to-go box but I promised her we’d come back to eat in at some point.”

Melody’s heart practically melts at the thoughtfulness. “Thanks, Lu.”

(He almost trips over himself getting out of the car. She hasn’t called him Lu in so long)

Luca’s house is empty, as Adam is training and his parents are both at work. Melody takes a quick shower to wash off the grime of the plane and when she comes out — in a UMich shirt and sweats she has to roll up that he laid out— the breakfast is all heated up on plates, the bouquet of flowers he gave her still wrapped but in a cup of water so they don’t die. Luca turns around at the sound of footsteps and something flashes through his eyes at the sight of her wearing his clothes again but he shakes himself out of it, instead just sliding a plate towards her. She slumps down on the kitchen island and thanks him with a hum before diving in. 

Once she’s full and Luca’s taking all the plates and washing them before she can even blink, she speaks up. “Is this the date?”

“No,” he admits. “I figured I’d give you a couple of days to get over the jetlag before taking you out for real. I just, I wanted to do something nice.”

She wipes her lips with a napkin. “Not that I don’t appreciate all of this, because I do, but what…why?”

“You gave me a second chance. I’m not gonna waste that chance.” His eyes widen in fear. “I-I’m sorry if I’m overwhelming you or being too forward. I-if you wanna go home or to Shayla’s, I can drop you off or-”

She smiles slightly. “Relax, Luca.” He blinks. It’s times like this he remembers that she’s two years older and much more level headed than he is. “I was just curious. You don’t have to do this all for me, you know?”

“I want to,” Luca replies simply. “Making up for lost time, I guess.”

“Then come over and finish up these waffles for me,” she says with a small smile, laughing when he barrels over and inhales them. 

After breakfast, he can tell she needs sleep even if she won’t admit it. So he puts on Abbot Elementary and puts an arm around her shoulder as she leans into him on the couch. Halfway through the episode, she’s fallen asleep on his chest and he just smiles, staring down at her. He very carefully turns the volume down and shifts so that they’re both more in a comfortable position. 

(When Adam comes back from training, he walks into the sight of his older brother and someone who might as well be his older sister cuddling, both asleep with Abbot Elementary still playing. He turns the TV off and tosses a blanket over them, staring at them both thoughtfully before heading to his room)

They do end up going on a date a couple days later. Luca picks her up at the door of her childhood home, waves to her mom and dad and gives her another bouquet of flowers (daisies this time). He then drives them to a nearby park that she hasn’t been to in at least 5 years and then pulls out a picnic basket of sandwiches, fruit, pasta salad, chips and cans of seltzer. She blinks as he lays it all out, because he’s really pulling out the stops and she has to stop herself from just leaning in and kissing him. 

And the conversation between them is, yet again, so easy, reminding her of one of the many reasons she always liked him, even before they started dating. Their ability to bounce off of each other and talk about practically everything isn’t something that she’s been able to replicate with anyone else quite yet. There are some instances where they slip into some dangerous territory, but they successfully steer away from it. Those are conversations that need to be had, but not today.

For awhile, especially after their breakup, Melody had only fixated on their differences, with his hockey and party life at Michigan and her research and much tamer college life at Northwestern. But during that picnic, laying down with her head on his lap, she had a realization that they were similar in many ways she hadn’t thought about before — their love for Toronto, their distaste for judgemental people, their passion for leaving an impact, the way they love their friends and family, their love for music.

(It probably only took that date for Melody to fall in love with Luca again, but she would never admit that to herself)

They book a last minute trip to Seattle in late July— it’s purely because Melody found tickets to Taylor Swift last minute that were a reasonable price. She would’ve taken Shayla, but she already saw Taylor in Detroit two days before Melody’s graduation. So the couple hike some trails, eat some good food and have a blast at Taylor Swift. 

(During ‘Fearless,’ which is one of Melody’s favorites, she’s hyper emotional, feeling Luca’s hands around her waist and him singing softly into her ear. He must also remember all the times she played this in the car growing up. During ‘Love Story,’ which is Luca’s favorite, she swears the stadium is shaking and it’s such a wonderful feeling to be a part of something like this. In the middle of the second chorus, she looks back at him with a smile, and he kisses her probably too deeply for what’s considered proper in public. But she can’t care less. And when he sings the last four lines to her in her ear, it feels something like a promise.)

He drives down with her to Chicago mid-August to help her move into her new apartment with a mutual friend from college who’s coming in September. Just like when he helped her move out, he doesn’t complain once. But this time, inbetween moving boxes, he puckers his lips and gets a kiss. The moment she realizes that she’s in her new home for the foreseeable future is when she’s placing some framed pictures around in her room, this particular one being of Shayla, Adam, Luca, Katie and her at the draft just under two months before. She doesn’t have that many framed pictures around, but this one was important to her to have up. She sets it down on the desk and just looks at it, even as Luca comes up to hug her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder.

Shayla’s off to Houston for her job, Adam is off to Columbus to play in the NHL, Luca’s going back to Ann Arbor to do what he loves, Katie is going back to UCLA for her second year and she’s starting her job in Chicago. 

All five of them doing what they love, excited for the future, grateful for the past. And doing it together, even if they’re all in different states. 

He stays with her for a couple of days before heading back to Michigan. That goodbye sucks in particular, as she clings onto him. She’s trying so hard not to let tears fall, but when he softly mutters that he loves her (the first time he’s said those words since they decided to try again), the waterfall starts and she just sobs into his chest as he quietly whispers sweet nothings and rubs her back, kissing her hair and face and fingers and whispering that they’ll see each other in no time — which isn’t true. She has no idea when she’ll be able to get some time off as a new employee and he’s not gonna have that much time to spare once hockey season officially starts. 

(She doesn’t say it back yet, something inexplicable holding her back. But as he kisses her soundly at the airport before heading through security, she knows she does)

As she’s driving to Ann Arbor in December it takes her an embarrassingly long time to realize why it feels like deja vu.

Last year around this time, she made this exact same drive to see a game against the exact same team. Except this time, it’s different. Adam isn’t there. Shayla isn’t there. The team is different. Her and Luca are different. 

And as she’s driving to Ann Arbor, she knows she has to let him know. She has to let him know she loves him. 

This is only the third time she’s seen him since he helped her move in August. She would be lying if she said it hasn’t been tough and there haven’t been moments where she wonders if it’s worth it. But then her phone lights up, signaling a text from him or food she didn’t order ends up at her doorstep or she watches streams of UMich games and watches him score and then she’s reminded that she made the right choice in giving Luca a second chance. 

She loves watching hockey. She loves watching Luca play hockey. 

She got the number of Maggie, Kienan’s girlfriend, from Luca because she would only be able to make it to Michigan right before the game started, and Maggie was more than happy to lead her inside with her media pass and introduce her to some of the other significant others before she’d actually have to get back to work. It was a bit weird, being one of those significant others and being a bit older, but she was a college student up until June, so it’s not like she feels completely out of place.

She parks outside of Yost and texts Maggie, who directs her on which door to walk to. After an enthusiastic hug, she leads Melody through the back way into the arena, saying that the boys are already on the ice for warmups and that everyone is excited to meet her (“We’ve heard so much about you, from Luca and even from Adam last year, so we’re all really excited to meet you.”) 

She gets introduced to Ellie and Kayleigh, Jacob and Rutger’s girlfriends respectively, and they’re so peppy and excited and nice that she doesn’t feel as nervous as she sits down as they immediately want to get to know more about her. They have decent seats, so she can see some of the players’ expressions if she looks hard enough. She immediately spots 63 and just smiles before turning back to the girls, not wanting to distract him from warmups, even though she finds herself eyeing him while talking. It isn’t until one of the guys, Ethan, if she remembers his number correctly, nudges Luca and nods in their direction does she smile and give a small wave. Even from this far, she sees him light up and wave back before focusing on warming up again. 

The game, like any Michigan vs Michigan State one, is chippy, loud and exciting. She’s watched so many of Luca and Adam’s games growing up, yet she still finds herself nervously playing with her sleeves. Michigan ends up winning 2-1 and everyone’s in happy spirits as they leave the arena. She bids farewell to the girls and thanks them for letting her sit with them before Maggie’s back to lead her towards the locker room to meet up with Luca.

She waits patiently outside of the locker room with Maggie, just chatting casually, smiling when Kienan comes out and they embrace. Melody gives him a hug as well. The next guys to come out are Mark, Ethan and Seamus, who she remembers from last year and they all give her hugs before she wishes them a good holiday break. She tells them that they don’t have to stay and they all wave her off. (“Are you kidding? I’m not missing this reunion. Luca’s been talking about seeing you non-stop for forever.” Ethan jokes.)

They don’t have to wait long, as Luca’s the next one to come out. His cheeks are a bit flushed and he’s dressed in her favorite suit of his. His eyes dart all over until they meet hers. He immediately shrugs off his backpack and lifts Melody up in a hug. She lets out a little squeal and laughs as he spins her around.

“Hi.” She mutters into his shoulder. 

“Hi angel.” He pulls away and kisses her twice. “I missed you.”

She pulls back and runs a hand through his hair with a light smile. “Missed you. Good game.” She looks beyond his shoulder to see the rest of his teammates smiling or smirking, some she recognizes, others she doesn’t. She detaches herself from him and nudges him. “Introduce me to your teammates.”

He groans playfully. “Do I have to?”

She rolls her eyes and smiles at the boys warmly. “Hi. I’m Melody, if we haven’t met.” She gives everybody a quick hug as the freshmen introduce themselves, laughing when Dylan wiggles her around. 

Everyone’s a bit tired, so within 10 minutes, everyone’s saying goodbye and leaving the arena. She insists on driving Seamus, Rutger and Gavin since they all live together. When they get back, she’s helping him fold clothes to bring back to Toronto for break as he sits back on his bed, one hand behind his head and just looking at her. She’s grown out her hair and got a perm as a treat to herself after her first paycheck. And she had FaceTimed him immediately after she walked out of the salon, but seeing it in person is something entirely different. Still donned in his MIchigan crewneck that mysteriously disappeared from his closet over the summer and a yellow bow in her hair, she’s wearing flannel pajama pants now instead of jeans and folding a pair of his jeans before tossing it into his duffle and zipping it up. Luca’s suddenly overwhelmed by how blessed he is. 

The next morning, after brunch at one of Luca’s favorite spots around campus, when they’re at the start of their drive back to Toronto and at a long stoplight, she remembers. 

“Hey, Lu?” 

“Hm?” He immediately looks at her and places a kiss on the back of her hand that he’s been holding. 

“I love you.”

Luca’s eyes light up and she bites her lip so she doesn’t grin like a crazy woman. “Yeah?” He breathes out.

“Yeah. I love you.”

He leans to press a sweet kiss on her lips and then her cheek, and mutters against her skin. “I love you, angel. So much. Always have. Always will.”

And she chuckles under her breath when she tunes into what song is playing through the speakers of her car. 

This love came back to her, indeed.

[bluewxrld07]

It’s Always Been You (Ethan Edwards)

In honor of gaining 100 of you guys on my page, here it is!! The much needed part 2 to Hurt My Feelings you’ve all been waiting for. I’ve been taking the time to perfect it, but beware this one’s a long one. Thank you all for 100 followers!!!! I appreciate every single one of you, I cannot wait to share more. Enjoy :)

Ethan Edward’s X female!reader

Warning(s): mutual pining, angst, fluff, hints to smut

If there was one thing y/n was good at, it would be known as her future career and major in school. She was in the progress of becoming a sports social media manager, always locking some of the best shots and behind the scenes when necessary.

She was the one the Michigan athletic department could count on. They had put with the Football team during the fall, and Basketball during the winter. She would sometimes end up subbing in for other sports managers when they had other opportunities in place, or just plain out couldn't do the job at hand. She was the one to call.

If there was one thing she absolutely terrible at, it would be avoiding people.

Especially certain people.

The UMich Basketball team didn't go too far into the season which led to y/n's schedule being more open to doing whatever. Which led to her slowly becoming more involved with their University's Hockey team.

When she was asked to help out with the guys more, she was a bit hesitant. Yes she loved them all and adored getting to be behind the scenes. Especially when it came down to her being there instead of one of the other interns down the road. What wasn't great to deal with, was having to see Ethan more often than she was planning on.

Many of the boys on the team know about her current situation of avoiding Ethan. This was due to the word getting around about her and him's night on New Year's, thanks to Luca spilling the beans when Ethan told him.

The boys all knew to keep their mouths shut about it, due to Ethan still being with his girlfriend, as well as y/n already stressing out about having to work alongside Ethan the rest of the season.

For now, it would be put to the side strictly on the business part of things. Yet it was hard to just act like there wasn't a giant elephant in the room when the pair were in a room together. She did her best keeping it strictly professional and positive when he was around. It seemed to slowly get easier as time went on.

That was until the intern quit, opening the spot fully to y/n to take, which she could never say no to. It was opening an opportunity for her to work in the side of the sports media field she has been waiting for, for much too long.

Especially with the boys making it to the Frozen Four.

This 'avoiding Ethan' chapter really was not going to happen for her the way she wanted anymore. Which concluded of her just never seeing him and talking to him again after he left her there that night.

She could never fathom how hurt it made her. Sitting there for hours on end waiting for his door to finally open its him behind it.

She knew deep down that it wouldn't have happened so easily like that, but part of her couldn't help but hope it would turn out for the best for her.

Y/n tried avoiding Ethan as much as she could after that. It was hard to most days, as the pair had a few classes together, and hung out in the same friend group. The guys could never have stopped hanging out with her, it just wasn't right in their book. Ethan even agreed that it wasn't right.

Of course the two were hurting, they had been inseparable for years on end. It hurt more when y/n would be at games watching from afar, or when his mom would shoot her a text or call asking where she was.

That was until she finally caved and told her everything. She couldn't hold it in from the one other woman in her life that treated her like she was her own child. Y/n told her that even though they were going through, well, whatever this was, that Ethan shouldn't be frowned upon for it.

His mom had agreed with her statement, understanding that the pair of complicated best friends had to figure some things out. They both would find their way back to each some day, is similar to something his mom had told her.

So now here she was, coming off the bus in Florida with the boys for the Frozen Four. Her hair was a mess, the outfit being oversized sweatpants, that she was pretty sure were a certain guy's old pair of pants, and an oversized UMich hockey sweatshirt.

The group gathering around the coaches to hear the spiel, y/n walking into the hotel while having a conversation with Rutger. The group all tired and about ready to take the night to relax before more early mornings continue.

Once they were all given their room keys, they all scurried to their floors and rooms, y/n happy to be getting her own room to sprawl out and do what she wanted. Due to this mainly being because she was the only female besides the adult media manager on the trip.

As soon as her door shut she slumped back against the door, leaning her head against it. Being up at two in the morning for the flight was not ideal in her mind, but she knew that this opportunity would be worth the exhaustion she was feeling.

Y/n tossed her stuff on one of the open beds, stretching out her limbs before plopping herself back on the other free bed in the room.

As soon as her body landed on the comfy mattress, a knock was heard at her door. The girl instantly groaned, turning over to the opposite side to face away from the door.

"Y/n I know you're not sleeping yet open the door," Luca laughed on the other side.

"I'm dead." she groans back to him, her eyes closed while she soaked in the cozy covers.

Luca knocked again. "Y/n/n if you don't open this door I will go tell the front desk I lost my room key for this room," he trails off, her eyes opening with an eye roll.

As much as she would like to still have ignored him and say no, she knew he would absolutely go down to the front desk.

She lets out a puff of air before pulling herself off the bed and towards the door. When she swings it open, she makes sure to give him the harshest scowl she can muster.

"What could possibly be more important than sleep?" she asks, eyeing him as he walks into her room and shuts the door.

He launches himself on the bed she was just laying on making himself comfortable, y/n going to crawl in next to him with the scowl still on her face.

He was laying on his back with his arms crossed behind his head, her laying on her side with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"The guys and I are all going to sneak into one of the clubs tonight if you want to join," he sits up with a finger pointing up. "Correction. You are joining us in going to the club tonight."

Y/n groans instantly, pulling a pillow to her face. "Luca no I want to sleep before the day we have tomorrow." she groans out with a long whine. Luca rolls his eyes at her playfully.

"Oh come on it would be so fun. Besides, this is basically the time we all are going to get to experience this together." He explains, trailing off in a tone to convince her. She shook her head behind the pillow while humming a 'no'.

"Y/n come on please?" he asks nicely, slowly pulling the pillow down from her face. "It's just there inner circle going tonight if that convinces you."

Y/n stays silent for a moment, letting it sit in her brain for the time being.

"If it's not me dragging you out, I'm making Ethan do it."

"You didn't even give me a chance to think Luca!"

"Well I know that face. It was your 'leaning towards a no' face." he says to her, a pillow being thrown at his face a second later.

"So is that a yes?" he asks, y/n getting off the bed with her hands on her hips. She looks back at him with a look. "I don't really have a choice do I," she retorts.

"Nope!" Luca laughs, clapping his hands together before getting off her bed and heading to the door.

"I'll come get you at nine, sunshine." he sings out while opening her door.

"I'm taking a nap before that then!"

. . . . . . . . . . .

Y/n was finishing up her makeup when she heard the soft knock on her door.

She shook her head at herself while she looked in the mirror. She loved the outfit she chose, going with her hair slicked back in a bun. She was awake, but was also still so exhausted from the morning. The nap not doing much to her energy tank.

She opened the door up to see not Luca, but Rutger standing there on his phone. When he looked up he smiled warmly at her, fanning her off and hyping her up for the night ahead. She blew him a playful kiss before the pair walked downstairs to join the rest of the group, her insides freezing at the sight of Ethan once again.

Sure she should be used to seeing him nowadays, but it was never something she could just get used to. He's been the one giving her butterflies since before she could remember, and the one who makes her heart stutter whenever they're in a room together.

From what she noticed, it was the inner circle as Luca promised.

He was currently smiling and talking with Mark when she walked up to the group, his eyes leaving Mark's as soon as Rutger announced their presence.

Ethan's smile immediately dropped, his mouth staying slightly ajar as his eyes took in her figure. She kept her eyes on his own while she watched him fully take her in, the boy's cheeks turning red when he catches her eyes.

He gives her a small smile, y/n instantly looking away from him and taking a deep breath as she followed the group out to the uber ordered by Luca.

The group all began to pile in, but slowly coming to a halt when it started to become full. "Luca you dumbass how're we all gonna fit into this one uber?" Luke asks as he tries to squeeze into the back.

"Couple of you will sit on the floor, and a couple in the trunk. Not that bad of an idea." Luca snorts, taking his seat in the front passenger side.

"Okay at least give y/n the front seat so she doesn't have to squeeze back here or sit on the floor." Rutger says, motioning to where Luca is sitting.

"Yeah, my dude you gotta be a gentlemen and give her the front seat. No wonder you're single." Mark retorts, earning a smack to the thigh from Luca. Y/n rolls her eyes, an amused look on her face as she hops into the small packed van.

"It's fine, I can sit on the floor. Luca's never changed his ways. Who says he will now?" she jokes, earning a whine from Luca and laughs from the guys.

"Watch it young lady, or I'm gonna kick you out." Luca says, making her eyes light up as he eyes her.

"That's all it takes for me to go back up to my warm and cozy bed? Say less," she says, Luca rolling his eyes with a sarcastic smile thrown her way.

"You wish it were that easy." he says before facing back to the front.

Y/n lets out a huff getting ready to sit on the ground behind Luca's seat, only to have arms slither around her waist and be pulled into a lap.

She lets out a shocked squeak and places her hands on the armrest to steady herself as the car takes off, feeling the hands place themselves on her hips with a squeeze. The hands were an oddly familiar pair she had grown to know all too well.

Y/n slowly turned her head and looked down, only to see the familiar head of brown hair she had been avoiding. He wasn't making eye contact with her, instead was looking over and talking to Mark next to him.

The girl kept her hands on her thighs, squeezing them tightly to keep herself together as she sat on Ethan's lap. His hands stayed on her hips, squeezing every so often which made her freeze and her insides warm each time he did so. It had been so long since she was this close to him at all. Her body didn't know how to react, her mind screaming alarms to her in the process of it.

What about his girlfriend?

Couldn't he just let her sit on the floor?

What would his girlfriend say right now?

Once they arrived to the destination, she had never been more relieved to open the door more than she was in that very moment. She hopped off of his lap as if it didn't happen, waiting for the rest of the boys to pop out one by one.

The group made their way up to the entrance, Luca doing some talking to the bouncer while they all talked amongst themselves for the time being.

A few seconds later Luca looked back to the group with a shit-eating grin, the bouncer opening the door to let them all in. Y/n looked up at the bouncer with a soft smile, thanking them for holding the door open as she walked inside.

As soon as she stepped in, the vibe was completely different. Strobe lights being seen from the hallway they walked through, The Weeknd playing in the background and the smell of marijuana wafting through her nose. Y/n kept herself close to the boys as she looked around the venue and overlooking the balcony they were now on, seeing the pile of bodies below on the dance floor.

All the guys immediately making their way down the stairs, hyped up and talking about what their plans were for the night.

Y/n was still super tired from the flight and already thinking about how early she had to be the following morning. More like counting down the hours till her alarm went off. Which wasn't many.

Luca found a couple of sofas for them to all chill on, announcing the first round of drinks were on him. Each guy listing their drink for him, Luca finally finding Y/n's gaze. She shook her head. "Not tonight. Busy day for me tomorrow." She declines, Luca pouting at her.

"ThO come on, have a few drinks and let loose before chaos begins! Technically I win the busy day argument. I play tomorrow, so it's automatic win for me. What're you having y/n/n? Besides I'm buying pretty girl," he asks, watching her roll her eyes and shrugs her shoulders.

"Tequila and sprite." she caves, waving him away as he pumps his fist in the air at her answer.

"He's ridiculous." she laughs at Mark, the boy nodding his head with a chuckle. "Trust me I know. Try being his roommate."

"I basically was for a year, remember?"

Mark rubs his hand over his face and nods. "How could I forget the year in sophomore house?" he trails off, making her shake her head with a sour face.

"Too much went down." Y/n grimaces, Mark bursting out a laugh at her reaction.

Mark's laughs quiet down a few seconds later, him finally turning his body to face her with a more serious look on his face. "So what's the word between you and Eddy now?" he says, her stomach tightening.

"Meaning what?" she asks, looking away from Mark. He snaps his fingers back at her to make her eyes look back into his own.

"Real shit," he says. "What's going on now? You two still not talking?"

Y/n shook her head, her fingers picking at her pants. "I can't Mark. Not after New Years." she admits.

"You mean when you two finally got into it?" he asks, her nodding with an eye roll.

"We shouldn't have done that Mark. He cheated on her with me. You know how I feel about that type of stuff." she admits, watching him purse his lips.

"Sorry sweetheart but one, you kissed him from my understanding. Two, so what? She's a puck bunny anyways, y/n. She wants nothing more than the attention that comes with dating Eddy," Mark admits, and Y/n puts her face in her hands. "Well I should say came with dating Eddy. Past tense." Mark slips out, y/n's hands leaving her face to look at him with a frown.

"What do you mean past tense?" she asks. Mark looks around them to see all the other guys in their own conversations. Then turns his attention back to her.

"The only other people that know is everyone in this club in our group. So don't say anything till he's ready to tell you," Mark starts, her face contorting to more confusion as he goes.

"She broke up with him the day you two saw each other at the library. The day you were leaving with Rut's girl." he explains, watching the girl's face turn from a frown to complete shock in a matter of milliseconds.

"Wait what? There's no way, they were kissing and being all lovey-"

"It was after you left she decided to do it. She saw how he looked at you when you were leaving, and knew right then and there she had no part of him to herself anymore. So she dumped him right then and there." he finishes, watching y/n's face fall as she facepalms.

"Mark that was weeks ago! I'm now just finding this out? Why now?" she stutters out, Mark putting his hands on her arms. He makes her look up at him.

"Because he said you deserved your space, especially after he left you there in his room that night. He said that wasn't something he should just drop on you when you were feeling so many different things."

"Goddammit Ethan." she mumbles out, her eyes looking over the boy her heart wanted so much, watching him laugh with Rutger and Luke.

"You can't tell him I said anything-"

"And I'm back with drinks! Let's get this shit going!" Luca announces out, walking back with two drinks in his own hands, a server next to him with a tray of their drinks to set down.

Luca picks up Y/n's drink, bowing towards her with a smirk. "You're drink m'lady." he says with a fake accent, making her smile at him.

"Why thank you kind sir." she chuckles, taking a sip.

"Alright, now that drinks are ll sorted out, let's go dance dudes! Plenty single ladies, and plenty of dance floor!" Luca hoots, fist-bumping his way into the crowds with the some of the other guys.

She gives Mark a knowing look, indicating she understood what he was going to finishing saying. He reached down and squeezed her hand before disappearing into the crowd.

Y/n was too tired to want to join, not wanting to be there in the first place. She sipped on her drink slowly, her eyes people watching as she sat there, music bumping loudly.

She would much rather be sleeping in her bed. She'd rather be decompressing and charging up for the busy days ahead she knew were going to be horrific.

Y/n let out a huff as she looked into the dancing crowd, seeing and spotting each boy doing their own thing.

Her eyes stopped when they found Ethan's. His eyes were already on her own. Their eyes like magnets to one another. It always felt like things were going so much slower when they locked eyes. Like it was just them in the room.

Y/n bit her lip, shaking her head slightly to herself and finally broke their staring contest. She looked down to her drink, gulping down what she could to help herself feel a bit more loose than she planned.

At this point in the night, she was avoiding his eyes, knowing they were constantly being put on her. She could sense it. Sense him. It was like a sixth sense almost.

During a certain point in the night, y/n made her way over to the bar to get herself another drink.

If she was going to be stuck here, thanks to Luca, she might as well not be sober and enjoy her time while it lasted. A hangover wouldn't be the worst thing for her after the last few weeks she's been dealing with.

She gives the bartender a warm smile, yelling out a 'thank you' over the loud music and turned away from the bar to lean back against it. She took a sip of her third glass of the evening, already feeling the oh so familiar buzz coming on. She let it take over her nervous system, closing her eyes and her head tilting back while blowing out some air.

House of Balloons played out, making y/n smile to herself as she began to sway to the music.

The girl began to sing out the lyrics, knowing the song all too well as it made her feel some type of way every time she heard it. It brought out something in her each time any music like this played, her actions becoming harder to control especially when intoxicated.

Which was where she was at right now.

When she opened her eyes to look at the crowd, biting her lip as she watched many people paired together dancing the night away, grinding bodies are the only thing to be seen on the dance floor.

The lights were dark, flashes of different shades of reds straying out every so often, those flashes being the only lights in the entire place.

As if she could feel it once more, she finally found the familiar eyes that had been finding her figure all night. This time it was making her heart race.

He slowly starts to make his way to her, y/n's heart rate picking up as he got closer.

Before she knew it, he was in front of her standing over her figure.

He reached his hands out to her as if asking her to join him, the girl's eye not leaving his own.

So instead of walking away like she wanted to, after all this time she spent avoiding him.

She gave in.

Y/n sat up straight, her empty glass long forgotten now on the table behind her. She had to still look up at him due to their height difference, but nonetheless had let her hands slide into his own.

He slowly backed his way into the crowd of dancing people, the music setting the vibe and pace for the pair on the floor.

They found a spot away from the other boys, secluded in the crowd surrounded but hundreds of strangers but only entranced in one another. Their eyes never left one another, no matter if they tripped of bumped into other people.

His forehead found her own, his hands still entwined with her own to show he wouldn't push unless she gave him the green light. He wanted to show her he would move at her own pace.

To Y/n, for the first time in weeks, wasn't scared of what would happen or what wouldn't happen. Ethan was taking the lead to show her he was still in it, but at the same time was taking it slow to not push her further.

He closed his eyes as the song played in the background, his mouth starting to sing along to the words.

Face it, you want it, you crave it

Believe when I say that you'll know once you taste it

Y/n watched his lips move, her heart pounding out of her chest as they had their moment. Like they were the only two existing in that room.

She was letting the alcohol take over her nerves, letting it do what she knew she wouldn't be able to do completely sober.

Y/n slipped her hands from Ethan's only to place them over the top of his hands to lead them onto her waist, hers going to slowly slither around his neck.

Ethan opened his eyes to look down into hers, his hands sliding down from her waist, wrapping low around her hips just above where her lower back met her backside.

Y/n took the opportunity to let her hands cup both sides of his jawline, looking up into his eyes then down to his mouth as she sang along to the song this time.

What the hell were we? Tell me we weren't just friends

This doesn't make much sense, but I'm not hurt I'm tense

Cause I'll be fine without you babe

Her eyes found his again, the two wrapped up in one another's company, tension building more by the minute. Y/n bit her bottom lip once again, trying to stop her thoughts from getting bigger and bigger as they sway with one another.

She snapped out of her daze when she felt his thumb slowly pulling her bottom lip free from her teeth, rubbing it slowly after. His eyes went down to her lips as he leaned in, but stopping just millimeters away to let their lips brush ever so slightly.

"Please," he says, his voice weak. Just wanting to finally have her to himself. "It's always been you, y/n. Always."

He put both of his hands on the crook of her neck where it met her jawline, her hands wrapping softly around his wrists. He could see her having an argument with herself, the boy saying her name to catch her attention. "I know I've been a fucking idiot and an asshole to you. You don't deserve any of it. Slap me, punch me, kick me in the nuts I don't care what. Just please don't push me away anymore." Her eyes lock with his once again.

"I won't hurt you," he assures her, shaking his head. "Not again. Not ever. Just please. Let me prove to you. Let me prove it's always been you." he begs her.

Y/n stills for a moment, knowing that she wants this just as bad as he does. Probably even more than he ever would.

"Eddy,"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me. Please kiss me."

Ethan didn't even let her finish her sentence, immediately placing his lips over hers in a bruising kiss. Tongues and teeth clashing when they connected, immediately y/n sighs into his mouth. Her body calming instantly at the feelings of his lips on her once again after far too long.

It didn't take long for his hands to leave the sides of her face, wrap around her waist and pull her impossibly closer to his own body. Her hands finding the back of his neck, letting her elbows rest on his shoulders while her hands pulled at his hair.

Their lips moving in sync, things becoming more heated the more they kissed.

His lips finally broke from hers only to kiss down her jaw to her neck and collarbone, y/n moving her head to the side for him to gain more access as her hands pushed his head further into her. She was becoming more and more enticed by the feelings of his lips and touch on her, it was like a drug she couldn't escape.

When his lips latched on the all too familiar sweet spot she let out a breathless moan, feeling him chuckle in her neck. He broke his kisses for a second, only to bring his lips to her ear to whisper something.

"Only I will get to ever make you make those sounds. Not Luke, not anybody," he pants into her ear before leaving a soft kiss on it, going back to attacking her soft spot as she bit her lip to hide a smile.

"Still on that whole ordeal are you?" she chuckles but it's turned into another moan when his teeth bite on her neck, his hands moving down to her ass and squeezing at the same time.

"Don't get yourself into more trouble, brat." he tells her, his tone darker than usual. She just nods, taking his head away from her neck to bring his lips back to her own. "As long as you promise to never hurt me again, I think I can manage."

He smiles against her lips, placing a hand on her neck. "I've got lots of making up to do, don't you think pretty?" he mumbles in between kisses, hearing her hum with a nod.

"Let's get out of here shall we?" he says, placing one more kiss to her lips before looking down at her. Ethan had to bite his lip from going back in, seeing the marks littered on her neck and her swollen lips making his pants tighter.

He just about loses it right there when she bites her lip and pulls him closer by his waistband.

"Lead the way, baby."

[hugshughes]

⭑folklore⭑ hugshughes’ 100 followers celly!

i hit 100 followers so i wanted to do a little fic celebration!

thank you so much for 100 followers!! im so grateful for all of y’all! and i am definitely working on the couple requests i have received and would love more but i am focusing on this at the moment!

this is gonna be fulllll of fluff, angst, smut (maybe idk) and i’m so excited! i’ve seen people do like speak now and other tay albums but i’ve never seen a folklore one so i’m excited for this!

favs - ⭑

MASTERLIST -

the 1 - Adam Fantilli ⭑

cardigan - Jamie Drysdale

the last great american dynasty - Hughes!Sister

exile - Dylan Duke

my tears ricochet - Rutger McGroarty ⭑

mirrorball - Mark Estapa ⭑

seven - Ethan Edwards ⭑

august - Trevor Zegras

this is me trying - Luca Fantilli ⭑

illicit affairs - Jack Hughes

invisible string - Luke Hughes ⭑

mad woman - Nolan Moyle

epiphany - Nico Hischier

betty - Connor Bedard

peace - Quinn Hughes

hoax - Mathew Barzal

the lakes (bonus track) - Cole Caufield

-

i’m soooo excited to write these oh also! i reallyiked the idea of hughes!sister for tlgad but i’m DEF not opposed to adding a love interest if someone i like is requested or mentioned!!!

i am hoping to release these throughout the rest of august and september maybe even october if it takes that long but i think it’ll probably just stretch through september, THIS IS DEF GOING UNTIL PROBABLY NOVEMBER OR DECEMBER IM SORRY and i hope u guys are excited for this! THANK YOU FOR 100!!!!🤍

[sc0tters]

Shoulder to Lean On | Luca Fantilli

summary: when you try to help Luca settle into life without Adam, the last thing you thought was that it would turn into a fight.

request: yes/no

warnings: swearing

word count: 1.05k

authors note: this is my first ever platonic pairing post. And I’ve got to say that I don’t hate it. We are back to writing things for cellys so here is something for the angst week celly!

This week had been tough on you all.

Adam’s birthday was coming up and all anyone could think about was him. Everywhere you looked you saw your boyfriend and it didn’t help that Luca had been in an upset mood the entire week.

You tried to support him in anyway that needed, you were there for Luca when he wanted someone to talk to, when he had someone to go driving late night when stress go to him.

So naturally you and Luca grew close over the few months that you had been back at school for.

But today was no normal day, the seniors were hosting a party to send the boys off on their hockey season “y/n!” Rutger called out over the sounds of music banging through the speakers.

A sense of panic ran through your body as you turned to see him “it’s Luca,” the boys teammate didn’t need to say another before you were hot on his tail following him.

Luca was sat on a bed with tears streaming down his face “Lu,” you cooed quickly coming to his side as you sighed.

He turned away wanting to ignore you “what do you need?” You asked placing your hand on his knee trying to calm him down “fuck off.” Luca grumbled surprising all of the boys who were stood by the door waiting to see you be successful.

You shook your head “you know I can’t do that.” Adam made you promise that you would keep Luca safe “just go away!” The boy pushed you to the floor “you don’t need to always come and fucking fix things.” Your eyes went wide as you watched Luca yell at you.

It wasn’t something that you were used to “enough Luca.” Nick stepped in helping you up as he sent you an apologetic smile “she should just leave.” Whilst you knew that Luca was stressing about so much more than what met the eye but you wanted to cry “night boys.” Nobody could argue with you as you pushed past them all.

To say that you wanted to lock yourself in your dorm for the whole day and not see anyone was a total understatement.

Even Adam’s calls had gone to voicemail as you didn’t want to let him know that what his brother said hurt you. Drunk or not it made you feel guilty that you couldn’t keep Adam’s promise.

But what you didn’t think was that your radio silence would send Adam right back to his brother. Your boyfriend was naturally concerned that you weren’t responding “hey bro-” Luca looked that he had just woken up as his voice was groggy.

The older Fantilli boy watched as the screen turned to a FaceTime call. Adam looked concerned as he locked eyes with his brother “is y/n okay?” His hand raked through his hair as he waited for an answer.

Over the last few weeks Adam learnt that you two were friends and as your friends scared him so his brother was his best option. Luca scoffed as the events from the previous night came flooding through his mind “she got all irritating.” The older Fantilli boy complained “you’re gonna have to go more in depth with me than that.” Adam shut the door to his room behind him as he didn’t want his parents hearing this if he yelled at his brother.

Luca had barely gotten all of his words out when Adam felt grateful that he was in another state so he couldn’t hit Luca “she cares about you, you asshole!” The NHL player blatantly pointed it out as he tried to wrap his head around his brothers stupidity.

The older boy let out a dry laugh “you’re gonna say that cause she’s your girlfriend.” Luca couldn’t let his feelings sit there for long as he could practically see the smoke coming from Adams ears “she literally told me last week that she enjoyed having you around because it made her feel like she was apart of the family.” Now his words had gotten through to his brother.

It was clear that the Michigan players face dropped “she did?” Luca frowned as guilt began to quickly eat at him “yeah she did.” Adam shook his head “so I don’t care how you do it but make things right with her so I can get my girlfriend back.” With that Adam hung up the call not wanting to say anything more to his brother.

Despite the fact that Luca and you still hadn’t spoke, you went to the opening league home game for the team. Rutger said that if you did decide to come he would put your name on the list of people allowed in the back.

Luca had been a wreck and he had his worse game of his collegiate career “you coming for dinner?” Rutger placed his hand on his teammates back as he sighed trying to lift up his mood “I should go see y/n.” Luca had put it off because he didn’t know what he could say to you that would make it all okay “I’m already here.” You blurted out causing the boy to look up from the ground.

It took Luca a few seconds to take the long strides needed to be next to you “hey lu-” you couldn’t even get your words out before he wrapped his arms around you.

With you he had never been the most physical person often preferring your presence than anything else “I’m so sorry.” His throat grew tight as he looked at you.

The lack of sleep that you had was clear as the circles under your eyes weren’t covered by the concealer that you put on this morning “you are stuck with me no matter how much you yell at me.” You let out a soft laugh.

You loved his brother and no matter what happened between you two now it wasn’t going to change how you felt about Adam “you are too good to us.” Luca sighed squeezing your body once more like he couldn’t believe that you were actually there listening to him.

A smile formed on both of your faces “maybe we should go tell Adam that we’re friends again?” Luca proposed as you laughed once more.

“I never stopped being your friend silly.”

[umichlvr]

cammie’s fic recs!

these are all the fics i read and LOVED. go show these people some love cause they’re all so talented!! and most importantly, enjoy :) (will be updating) last updated: 8/3/23

*** indicates nsfw, ~ indicates angst, ! indicates insta edit

better together - matt boldy by @huggybug

summer lovin’ - matt boldy by @wildrangers (5 parts)

hughes hatty - jack hughes by @itsjusthockey

misunderstanding - jack hughes by @arcvil1e

how the gold glistens - a. svechnikov & p. kochetkov by @behoright ***

untitled - jamie drysdale by @hvghes !

untitled - cale makar by @flashyfucker ***

daylight - luca fantilli by @sillinger !

missing you quietly - luca fantilli by @bitchinbarzal ~

personification of love - platonic j. hughes, romantic t. zegras by @starsandhughes

enemies to lovers (untitled) - trevor zegras by @ijustreallylovethem

do you wanna join - m. estapa & e. edwards by @stopsign94 ***

the webs we spin - j. hughes by @webackbitch ***

6 years - jack hughes by @babydollmarauders

snow on the beach - luke hughes by @babydollmarauders

ghost of you - luke hughes by @nicohischierz ~

every new lover is a shapeshifter… - t. zegras & j. hughes by @angelwithdemonictendencies ***

head start - jack hughes by @youunravelme

fuck valentine - jack hughes by @thatsdemko ***

untitled - jack hughes by @theywantedplayer

more than a memory - quinn hughes by @blueskrugs

like my next boyfriend - b. boeser & e. pettersson by @zackcollins

untitled - ethan edwards by @hugheshugs ***

sundress season - andrei svechnikov by @comphy-and-cozy ***

labyrinth - jack hughes by @babydollmarauders

been dreaming about this - t. bordeleau & b. brisson by @iibratzbaby ***

better off alone (miniseries) - luke hughes by @sc0tters

[missjomarch]

In My Blood

Pairing: Luca Fantilli x reader Word Count: 1.6k Warnings: anxiety, panic attack A/N: unedited (per usual), but I got tired of rereading it lol. Here's some slight angst for your Tuesday. Slightly inspired by ‘In My Blood’ by Shawn Mendes. Happy 4th to those who celebrate!

You had gotten yourself into this situation, really. With a history of anxiety, and a tendency to push yourself past your limits, you should’ve been a little more prepared for this time of year. It was late November, and with the holidays and finals week quickly approaching, you were wound tighter than a drum. This had been one of the most academically challenging semesters of college yet, and you needed a decent grade on your finals to maintain your scholarship eligibility. Not only that, but to maintain the approval of your overbearing parents. You had returned from thanksgiving break with a renewed fear of failure after your parents spent the holiday reminding you that if you fell below a 3.0 they wouldn’t continue to help you pay for college. 

Managing the challenges of school was difficult enough, but this year you started your internship with Michigan Athletics as well. You joined the hockey media team in August, and it’s been the best part of your college career so far. Going to practices, media days, and games were always the highlight of your week. You had already been close friends with most of the team as you’d started dating Luca last year, and being a media girl just gave you an excuse to tag along to even more team events. You loved this team and position with your whole heart. However, it doesn’t come without its own stressors. 

You were already anxious, but it only multiplied when Kristy, the head of staff for media, pulled you into her office today towards the end of practice. She had never been unkind to you, but she was incredibly cut-throat and always strictly business. So when she implied that you weren’t adequately performing your media duties, it shouldn’t have felt so personal. However, it left you feeling incredibly deflated and underappreciated. As a perfectionist, you often lived to please other people. So the disappointed tone of Kristy’s voice sent you spiraling. 

After the rather one - sided conversation on how you ‘could be better’, you were left feeling like a scolded child. You could already feel the weight gathering in your chest before she even finished speaking, and before you left, she assigned you yet another promotional project to finish by the end of the week. It was all you could do to mumble a ‘yes ma’am’ before bolting out of her office. 

The tears were already falling by the time you reached the end of the hallway, hands trembling as you rounded corner after corner. You didn’t know where you were going, but you needed to find somewhere to calm down. Yost was like your second home, but with every turn you took your breath quickened even more. Your brain screaming at you as you practically sprinted through the arena, panic was setting in. The thoughts were so loud that you didn’t even register the person in front of you until you rounded the corner and slammed right into their chest. 

The body let out an umph at the impact, hands instinctively finding your shoulders. As you looked up, hot tears burning your face, you were met with the familiar eyes of Adam Fantilli. He observed your frantic appearance, and his face immediately scrunched with concern. 

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” 

Adam’s question was met with silence, but he could feel the panic radiating off you. You only cried harder as he stared down at you, your hand involuntarily moving to claw at your throat. Adam quickly pulled you down the hallway and into an empty trainer’s room, closing the door behind him. 

“What happened?” Adam tried again, but you only shook your head. You were beginning to hyperventilate, and your whole body was now trembling. Suddenly feeling too feeble to stand, you sank down into the chair beside you.

Adam finally realized the severity of the situation and conceded, “Okay, okay. Stay here, I’m gonna go get Luca.” 

You barely registered anything from his parting sentence, aside from your boyfriend’s name. All you could hear was the booming of your own pulse and the shaky, shallow breaths you barely managed to inhale. You knew you should try to control your breathing, but it felt like someone had placed a cement block atop your lungs. Your hand rubbed absent mindedly at the aching pain in your chest as you tried to shake the feeling of impending doom. The world felt like it was ending, but you were frozen. Condemned to watch it happen. Just as the dizziness began to set in someone appeared in front of you. It took you a moment to recognize that it was your boyfriend, Luca, who kneeled before you. He was speaking, but you couldn’t hear him over the ringing in your ears. 

“Luca?” you breathed, peering down at him through your tears. 

He had a tight grip on your trembling hands, “I’m here, love. What’s going on?” 

You had been slightly distracted by his sudden appearance, but now you were back in your previous state of panic. 

Sobs wracked your body as you heaved, “I can’t breathe, Lu.” Your tone was painfully pleading, and shattered Luca’s heart into a million pieces. He had never heard your pain so clearly, and he would’ve done anything in that moment to take it away. Luca had only been with you through a panic attack once before, but he remembered the calming mechanisms you had talked about with your therapist. 

“I’m going to help you, okay?” Luca attempted, but you weren’t looking at him. He reached up to brush your hair away from your face, knowing he had to get your focus back on him before he could help you.

“Y/N,” Luca’s voice was sterner this time, and you slid your eyes to meet his. “I need you here with me right now, love.” You heard him this time, the pounding of your pulse subsiding with his soothing tone. You gave him a slight nod to signal that you understood. 

Luca stood and lifted you from your chair before settling you both in the floor. His back rested against the wall, and he pulled you to sit between his legs, back pressed to his chest. With the new proximity, Luca could feel your trembling completely. You usually didn’t want to be touched while in your current state, but you allowed him to wrap his arms around your chest. His hold was grounding, and you could feel your heart rate slow as he encouraged you to breathe with him. 

“Deep breath in, baby. There you go,” Luca encouraged. He counted you off, making sure you exhaled for the full eight count. When he felt that your breathing had mostly returned to normal, he moved on to your counting exercise. He knew he needed to keep you distracted to prevent the panic from returning. 

“What’s 100 minus 7?” Luca prompted, encouraging you to continue the exercise. He didn’t correct your math, instead allowing you to repeat the technique over and over. The fog that was clouding your brain began to clear with every inhale, and you could already feel the exhaustion taking over your body. Luca noticed, too. He felt your body growing heavy in his hold, your previously ridged state ebbing away as you counted. 

“You feel better now?” Luca asked, voice barely rising above a whisper. You only nodded, too fatigued to really carry on a conversation. He placed a kiss to your temple before readjusted you in his arms to fully look at each other. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

You thought for a moment. You did want to, knowing you’d feel better after you shared the burden with Luca. However, you currently had neither the energy nor the words to explain what had made you so upset. You croaked out a simple ‘later’, knowing Luca would understand your intentions. He nodded and left it at that. 

Luca shifted, “Let’s get you home. We can take a nap.” He pulled you up from your place on the floor, and you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist. He hugged you back, placing soft kisses and mumbling comforts into your hair. He didn’t pull away until you did, and even then, he still left his arm around you as he led you back through the arena. 

Adam was waiting outside, your backpack in hand. He gave you a soft smile as you approached, and you mumbled a thank you before hugging him as well. Neither of the boys had a car, but you were able to get a ride back to the house with Luke. You were thankful not only for the reprieve from the cold, but also to be able to cuddle up with Luca in the backseat. 

It took less than 10 minutes to get back to Luca and Adam’s shared apartment, and you bid Luke a soft goodbye before Luca practically carried you up the stairs. You stood silently as he changed you into one of his sweatshirts before pulling you to the bed. Your head rested on his chest, his steady heart beat in your ears drastically different from the previous pounding of yours. His hand rubbed your back in slow, comforting circles as you let your body relax into his completely. 

“Thank you,” you mumbled into his chest. You couldn’t see him, but you knew if you looked up you’d be met with an incredulous stare. It sent a whisper of a smile across your face. 

“Don’t thank me, baby. I’d do anything to make sure you didn’t have to feel that way ever again.” Your heart warmed at his sentiment, and you leaned up to place a small peck to his lips. You silently thanked the universe for sending you such a sweet boy as you let his warmth overtake you, slipping into the sweet darkness of sleep. 

[mamaestapa]

exposing my drafts!

some of these fics are just ideas right now and other have been started. some of these are also “outdated” like they been in my drafts for so long the plot isn’t even relevant anymore…BUT i’ll still finish them ;)

NFL

Joe Burrow:

Leather and Lace (Smut)

You surprise Joe with some special lingerie after the Bengals win their first Super Bowl

Call It What You Want (Angst & fluff)

Fans love to speculate about your relationship with Joe, but only the two of you know what you truly are. The fans can continue to call it what they want

NHL

Jack Hughes:

False God (Smut)

Based off of False God by Taylor Swift

Trevor Zegras:

Electric Touch (Smut)

Remote controlled vibrator, team dinner party, sex in a bathroom

Want You All Over Me (Smut)

Lazy, sweet, morning sex with Trevor after you sneak into his bedroom (Set in Devils Advocate universe)

Is It Over Now? (Angst)

Based on Is It Over Now? by Taylor Swift

Trevor Zegras & Jack Hughes:

Surround Sound (Smut)

During a party at the lake house in Michigan Jack and Trevor discover that you never had a prom night experience like theirs, and they make it their mission to make sure you finally get to experience what they did…

Jamie Drysdale:

Ducklings First Holliday (Fluff)

Celebrating your first holliday with your newborn baby girl (set BEFORE Jamie got traded)

You Were There (Angst & Fluff)

Takes place during Jamie’s trade to Philly, based on the bridge in evermore by Taylor Swift

Adam Fantilli:

Mile High Club (Smut)

On a flight to Cabo for your birthday, your boyfriend suggests you become members of a certain club…

When in Rome (Smut & a little Fluff)

Italy trip with the Fantilli’s, Adam goes crazy over you in your bikini, rough sex in the hotel shower & bed

UMICH

Ethan Edwards:

A little Death (Smut/Angst/Fluff)

Based off of the song A Little Death by The Neighbourhood

Good Kisser (Smut)

You give Ethan the best blowjob (and more) of his life after the team goes to the Frozen Four

Rutger McGroarty:

Oh Mama Don’t You Cry (Smut & Fluff)

Celebrating Team USA winning gold at World Juniors with Rutger

Hey Jealousy (Angst/Smut/Fluff)

Puck bunny hits on Rutger and you get jealous. Rutger shows you that you’re the only one for him…

Butterfly Kisses (Fluff)

Some cute date night fluff with Rutger

Ethan Edwards & Rutger McGroarty (Digital Animal):

Freaky Folks (Smut)

Ethan still has a thing or two to teach Rutger about how to make his girlfriend feel good (Sequel to Digital Animal)

Cruel Summer (Smut)

Rutger fingers you in the back of an Uber while you’re sitting on Ethan’s lap (Literally the scene from Icebreaker just with Ethan and Rutger)

Look After You (Angst & Fluff)

After an argument with Ethan and Rutger, you go to a party out of spite. When things go south, the boys are there to rescue you despite your fight from earlier

The Hills (Smut)

Loosely based off of The Hills by The Weeknd, lots of sneaking around with Rutger behind teammates backs

Luca Fantilli:

Lucky Charm (Fluff)

Celebrating Luca’s first goal with him since you started dating

Mark Estapa:

Cherry Flavoured (Smut)

Based on Cherry Flavoured by The Neighbourhood

if you have questions or thoughts about any of these, feel free to send some asks!🤍