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morganwrites-starwars · 2 years

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Evaar’la Yaim pt. 2

Summary: Obi-wan's home was barely made to fit one person, much less three. But since they are all outlaws, buying a new home isn't really an option. Obi-wan suggests an idea and reveals a lot of hidden guilt in the process.

Set after the event of ‘I Stand Here Right Beside You’ and ‘Tome tug’yc’

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─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

After lunch, they went back to work, Luke helping Cody work on the evaporators. Obi-wan continued cleaning out the rooms, deciding to start with the bedroom. It was going to suck, but it had to be done.

The room looked frozen in time because Obi-wan had never cleaned the rooms besides the storage room and kitchen (mainly to avoid womprats moving in). Other rooms had been closed off. So the Lars’ bedroom looked like they would come back anytime (the image was only ruined by the dust). Someone’s coat was slung over the desk chair; the bed was made perfectly. A fake plant was resting on the shelf above the bed, and a pyramid puzzle was next to it. The Lars’ clothes were still in the closet, and holes had been chewed into the cloth from bugs.

Obi-wan took a deep breath, letting his despair go in the Force, allowing its comforting embrace to steady him. He felt a nudge in the Force from Luke and could feel Cody’s concern radiating from where he was fixing the evaporator. Obi-wan tossed a grin over his shoulder at his concerned family before quickly stepping into the room. Obi-wan swept the floor and noted that the old terminal on the desk should be replaced, or at least just scrapped (Jawas would probably pay nicely for it). The closet doors would need to be reaffixed, as the brackets were rusted. All of the clothes would have to be thrown out or repurposed as scraps. They would change the sheets and mattress with the ones back in their home. The bedframe seemed in good condition, but Obi-wan would ask Cody if he wanted to bring the one they had and reassemble it in the room. All in all, it wasn’t bad. There was even a lovely carpet on the floor that was in decent condition.

When Obi-wan came back out, Luke had moved on to fiddling with a toolkit droid that had been in the corner. Obi-wan was once again reminded of Luke’s similarity to Anakin. Cody was still working on the evaporator but had moved on to a different section.

Obi-wan quickly checked in with them before heading back towards the entranceway. There had been a door leading to some stairs in that hallway, but Obi-wan didn’t know what they led to.

When Obi-wan rounded the corner of the stairs, he saw the door was stuck partially open. Obi-wan spied a piece of fabric on the floor in front of the door. Obi-wan opened the door and stumbled back, tears in his eyes.

There was a small bed on a raised platform of the loft; toys were scattered on the floor. Obi-wan could feel the happiness that permeated the Force in the room, a similar feeling to the creches in the Temple.

It was Luke’s room.

Obi-wan was suddenly choked up as he imagined a little Luke playing with his toys- a stuffed bantha and several toy fighter jets. He imagined Luke hearing the stormtroopers storm in and drag him away, crying for his aunt and uncle. If Obi-wan closed his eyes and focused, he could feel the terror and pain.

Obi-wan stubbled back down the stairs, air stuck in his throat and tears welling in his eyes. He thought he may have heard someone calling his name and blearily looked to see a blonde teen at the end of the hallway.

“Anakin?” Obi-wan whimpered. His padawan held his hands in front of him and sounded concerned when he called his name again. “I-I’m so sorry.”

Anakin stepped closer, and Obi-wan, a coward, ran away. He stumbled up the stairs and onto the sand. Anakin hated sand, so Obi-wan hoped Anakin wouldn’t follow him. Obi-wan struggled his way across the loose sand, sight blocked by his tears. Anakin’s voice was ringing in his ears- I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU!

He fell to his knees, chest heaving as he struggled to get a breath. The air that made it to his lungs was arid and burned his lungs just like it did on Mustafar. When he looked up realized he had collapsed in front of two graves. Obi-wan sobbed again when he read that one of them was for Shmi Skywalker.

“I-I am so sorry, Ms. Skywalker,” Obi-wan sobbed to the grave. “I failed your son.”

Obi-wan didn’t know what he was expecting; maybe the ghost of the woman he’d never met to show up and grant him forgiveness. Or, more likely, yell at him.

“I’m so sorry,” Obi-wan whispered, apologizing to Shmi and to every Jedi, clone, and civilian Obi-wan had ever failed. The younglings, the 212th, Satine, Master Jinn, Cerasi- everyone. Every person that had suffered because of Obi-wan’s failures. Anakin had to be number one on that list- his brother, his best friend, his padawan. If only Obi-wan had paid more attention, if he had tried harder--

Someone hugged him tightly, and Obi-wan felt Cody’s warm Force signature. His husband was muttering words Obi-wan couldn’t make out, petting his back.

“I failed them all,” Obi-wan gasped, unworthy of the affection Cody bestowed upon him. “They’re all dead.”

“No, no, no, cyare,” Cody rebutted, not releasing his hold as he rested his forehead against Obi-wan’s. “You can’t blame yourself for what happened to Luke or to Anakin.”

“If I had just been there,” Obi-wan tried to argue, but Cody cut him off.

“You can’t know that,” Cody said, pushing his Force presence at Obi-wan like Obi-wan had shown him years ago. “You can’t know that.”

“But maybe-“Obi-wan tried to say, mind running through every if, and, but that he’d thought of over his 14 years of solitude. Everything he could’ve done or said differently.

“Maybe if you had been there, the stormtrooper would have killed you too,” Cody said. “Maybe if you were there, Anakin would’ve killed you too.”

Obi-wan gave a wet laugh. “You always were good at refuting my arguments.”

“Someone has to be,” Cody said, a bitter fondness dripping from his words. “Otherwise, you’d blame yourself for everything.”

“Buire?” Luke asked, somewhere behind them. Obi-wan looked at Cody, unsure of what to do.

“You freaked out when you saw him,” Cody explained in a whisper. “Called him Anakin and ran away. He’s worried you’ll be upset again if you see him.”

Obi-wan sniffed and wiped his face with his sleeve. He started to stand, and Cody supported him. When he was on his feet, Obi-wan turned to Luke and held his arms out. Luke ran to him and hugged him, head buried in Obi-wan’s shoulder. Obi-wan rested his hand on the back of Luke’s head and pressed his lips to the boy’s forehead.

“I’m sorry for worrying you, ad’ika,” Obi-wan muttered. “I found your old room, and it hit me harder than expected.”

“S’okay, O’buir,” Luke said into Obi-wan’s shoulder.

“Ok, you two,” Cody said when they pulled apart, “I think we’ve done enough for today. Why don’t we come back and do more tomorrow? Maybe we can make a trip into town to get parts.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Obi-wan agreed. “Perhaps we can mediate when we get back.”

Luke nodded in agreement. Luke led Obi-wan to the speeder they came in as Cody went to collect their things and close down the home. Obi-wan sat in the back seat with Luke curled into his side.

“You remind me of him so much,” Obi-wan told Luke as they waited. “And your mother. But the resemblance to Anakin is uncanny.”

Luke didn’t say anything at first, lost in thought. But, eventually, he asked, “Would you tell me about my mother?”

Obi-wan smiled as he thought of Padme. “She was the bravest person I’ve ever met. I first met her when she was Queen of Naboo, and my Master and I were sent to help resolve the blockade of Naboo. That mission was actually where I met your father, and he joined the Jedi.”

“I think I remember learning a bit about it,” Luke said. “There was no mention of Jedi. Obviously.”

“Yes, well, I would say Padme was well protected, and we only really contributed by fighting the Sith that showed up. Your mother was the one who refused to stay on Coruscant, the one who made a truce with the Gungans.” Obi-wan shook his head fondly. “I remember thinking she was crazy. But she just cared about her people so much. She believed in freedom and fought for it time and time again.”

Luke frowned, and Obi-wan let him gather his thoughts. Cody exited the homestead, and Obi-wan smiled at his husband. Cody sat in the driver’s seat and turned the speeder on.

“Ready to go?”

“Yes,” Obi-wan said. Luke nodded, still lost in thought. Cody passed Obi-wan his pair of goggles he left in the front, and Obi-wan put them on, handing Luke his pair.

“Mom would’ve hated what Father has done,” Luke muttered, leaning his head against Obi-wan’s shoulder as Cody drove forward.

“Yes, she would’ve,” Obi-wan agreed before they were moving too fast to speak without getting a mouth full of sand. Luke was clinging to Obi-wan, both physically and in the Force. Obi-wan made eye contact with Cody in the rearview mirror, concern and affection shining in Cody’s eyes. There was the faintest tap in the Force, like a plant brushing against a window. But it was undeniably Cody. Obi-wan allowed his eyes to drift close and feel his family in the Force. He let his regrets and guilt go into the Force. There was nothing he could do about the past. All he could do now was protect and prepare Luke for the future and hoped that Padme, Owen, and Beru would be proud of their son.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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#obi wan kenobi #commander cody #cc 2224 #Luke Skywalker #luke and obi wan #codywan #cody x obi wan #aliit ori'shya tal'din #obi-wan gets a hug #Emotional Hurt/Comfort

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