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novacqnes · 1 year

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blue moon // lupe garcía

summary: lupe often found herself longing for someone to love, but one night when she stumbles into a bar she realizes that she just might have.

warning: alcohol and kissing

word count: 2.3k

pairing: lupe garcia x fem reader

a/n: a corny romance fic inspired by billie holiday’s ‘blue moon’ (side note: i know lupe has been with a lot of women but let’s just pretend that she’s embarking on a celibacy journey and hasn’t for a while)

the bar smelled of wine and vanilla when lupe first trailed in, following the unmistakable aroma. it led her to a half filled room with people scattered all over focusing their attention in one direction.

she hadn’t intended on entering the small lounge that sat on the corner of the long street. she’d passed it numerous times after baseball practice but this day, unlike the others, it felt alive.

she couldn’t help but take notice of the sweet, sultry voice filling the area accompanied by a mellow tune. the room was dimly lit besides the bright light in the center of the room illuminating a figure, the same direction from where the music was coming from.

blue moon,

you saw me standing alone

lupe walked deeper into the crowd investigating the source of the voice when her eyes landed on a figure standing in the center of a small brown platform. the mystery singer stood elegantly in front of the crowd singing a beautiful ballad that left the patrons— including lupe astonished.

she found herself hypnotized by the woman standing before her, so much so that she couldn’t look away. gradually becoming more invested in the performance— and the person behind the voice.

without a dream in my heart,

without a love of my own

the lyrics sung held a deeper meaning for lupe, they spoke of an intense longing for love, and for someone to finally fill a void of loneliness. again and again lupe found herself desiring those very things. baseball kept her occupied but it couldn’t mask her hopes that one day someone would finally care for her the way she wanted them to. it was as if the lyrics were calling to her.

blue moon, you knew just what I was there for,

you heard me saying a prayer for,

someone I really could care for

she took a seat at the nearest open chair in order to get a better view of the singer. the bright light reflected off of her skin adding an almost translucent hue to the performance. lupe felt like she was floating, watching in complete awe.

and then there suddenly appeared before me,

the only one my arms will ever hold

i heard somebody whisper, "please adore me"

and i looked, the moon had turned to gold

you finally peeled your eyes open looking out into the crowd of mostly familiar faces. it’s a tendency of yours to close your eyes while you sing— not out of fear but habit. it helped you truly focus on the words by making it feel as though you were alone.

when you reached the far right of the bar you spotted a distinctive new face within a sea of old ones. and you couldn’t help but allow your eyes to linger on the person a bit longer.

she had rich dark curly hair that sat right at her shoulder. which complimented her soft brown doe eyes. she didn’t look like anyone you’d ever seen before? which made the mystery person all the more interesting.

blue moon,

now i'm no longer alone,

without a dream in my heart,

without a love of my own

the crowd erupted into cheers as you sang the last few lines of the ballad, your gaze on the woman never faltering and neither did hers. you gave a short bow, stepping off the platform with only one thing on your mind.

you began to make your way to the girl when you felt a tug on your arm. when you turned, dozens of eager customers awaited you and it was going to make the path to the girl much more difficult without people noticing.

by the time you pulled yourself away from the group the girl was no longer in her seat but was headed towards the exit. you beelined across the room, cutting off her path to the door.

“leaving so soon?”

this was the closest you’d been to her all night and the pressure began to set in. lupe could smell the scent of perfume— your perfume wafting through the air as you stepped closer, your knee lightly brushing against hers in the process.

she sighed, “yeah, i have a game in the morning.”

“a game?”

“i play baseball and we’re on a bit of a losing streak.”

lupe’s eyes roamed over your body as you stood in front of her. amusement curling her lips into a grin. your heart began to race. you had no clue as to why a stranger, a beautiful charming stranger had such a hold on you.

“i’d hate to waste your time, it’s just this place doesn’t usually come alive until after midnight and i wouldn’t want you to miss it.”

“oh, really?” she chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest. lupe wouldn’t have been able to get past you even if she wanted to. and she found it quite adorable. you ushered her back to her seat, settling down right beside her.

you began, “yeah, listen i’ll tell you what…..”

“lupe.”

“lupe, how about this. in exchange for your time all of your drinks are on me?”

a sly smirk spread across her lips, you were persistent and cute. she had no idea why you were so adamant on her remaining at the bar but she refused to question it. she couldn’t remember the last time anybody pursued her in that way and it made her want to say yes all the more.

“okay, i’ll stay, make it worth my while ms holiday.”

you beamed, “you won’t be disappointed and you can call me, y/n.”

“y/n….i like it. but i like ms holiday too, you sounded like her up there, it was really good.”

“you’re sweet.”

“yeah?” lupe smirked, breaking the ice as she leaned forward taking on a teasingly low tone. she was careful not to draw the attention over to you but enough to get the message across, causing your cheeks to heat up instantly.

“so what’ll it be lupe? whiskey, rum, tequila, beer?” you exclaimed, turning to the bartender to deflect from the brewing tension.

“i’ll have a beer.”

you watched lupe sip her beer, running her tongue across her lips when she was done with each taste. she felt your eyes lingering on her lips and it only made her want to show off even more, she couldn’t believe you were married.

“is your husband okay with you staying out so late?”

you sputtered, “what?”

“your husband?” she gestured to the cheap ring on your finger, curiosity and a bit of jealousy seeping into her voice.

“no-no i’m not married. it's a gift, an old one but i don’t have a husband.” you mumbled.

“why not? if you don’t mind me asking.” you shook your head, eyes darting to the ground as lupe stumbled to find the right words.

“what i’m trying to say is you’re beautiful, you can sing, and clearly you know how to handle your own. any guy that hasn’t been shipped off can see that.”

you blurted, “well maybe it’s not them that i’m interested in.”

you looked up from wooden floorboards, your eyes connecting with lupe’s at once and that was all you needed to say. immediately she nodded, taking another sip of her bitter drink.

“does that mean I have a chance then?”

“you’re first in line, but enough about my love life, what about you?”

“me? oh there have been so many women i can’t even count,” she lied.

“is that so?”

“yep.”

she gulped, her pitch going up at least two octaves as you stared her down. her face was that of a liar, especially a terrible one but you couldn’t help but laugh. a warm giddy feeling surrounding the two of you as both you and lupe bursted out into a fit of giggles.

“i’ve never met anyone like you.” you purred, proudly grinning at the woman in front of you.

“i could say the same about you too.”

the lights began to brighten as a new song switched on, sending people onto their feet to dance. ‘falling in love again’ by billie holiday began to play through the radio, filling the room with an upbeat jazz tune. you hopped to your feet with only one pursuit in mind, holding out your hand to lupe.

“dance with me?”

“here? won’t some of your….customers have a problem with it?” she muttered. lupe briefly scanned the room, quickly noticing an abundance of heterosexual couples spread across the vast floor.

“most definitely but there’s a backroom that only employees have access to.” you smirked, whipping out a silver key.

lupe found it difficult to hide the small smile finding its way to her lips, following you through the crowd. and in the moment she was sure she would’ve followed you just about anywhere.

the short journey led to a small brown room located at the back of the bar with a table, chair and few snacks in the corner. you walked to the center of the dim room, gesturing the woman over as you began slowly moving your hips.

“why’d you bring me here?” she asked, taking you by the waist.

“i wanted to get to know you.”

the quiet music from the main room echoed into the back room enough for you and lupe to hear it. she followed your lead, pulling you close as you danced to the melody.

“but we could’ve done that out there.”

“it’s quieter here, more privacy.” you whispered, wrapping your arms around her neck.

now, lupe was used to hooking up with people, in fact, it was quite easy for her. she knew what to say, what lines worked best and how to flatter people but with you it was almost as if all that was forgotten.

she didn’t know what to say, what lines to use or how to flatter you. she found herself intimidated by you and it wasn’t because she was scared but because she wanted more. the longer you two danced, the more the idea became ingrained into her brain.

“are you okay?” you asked, the gap between the two of you gradually closing as you moved throughout the room. lupe was practically pressed up against you, however you didn’t mind. her scent, embrace and presence felt like a warm blanket of comfort that you never wanted to be away from.

“yeah, why?”

okay would be the last word lupe would use to describe herself, she wasn’t fine, she was falling. this entire evening, it felt like a dream. being here with you, it was everything she’d ever wanted and she was terrified of it ending.

“your heart’s beating really fast.”

“i’m scared,” she admitted.

“of?”

“i don’t want this to end.” lupe held onto you a bit tighter this time. she closed her eyes, allowing the music to carry both you away along with it.

“who says it has to?”

she went silent for a moment, dancing with you as she thought for a while. lupe was used to false hope, being let down by people so much so that she refused to believe in the possibility of you two ever existing outside of those walls together.

“all goods things do, y/n. it’s rule number one in the handbook of life,” she scoffed.

“i don’t believe that.”

“what?”

you challenged, “what are you really afraid of?”

she peeled her eyes open, pulling off her hat so that you could fully see her. her curly dark hair rested at her shoulder, crowning her beautiful face. you could’ve sworn she was going to kiss you but instead she leaned in, gently brushing your ear with the tip of her nose.

“being alone,” she whispered.

you saw a hint of vulnerability in her lupe’s gleaming eyes and you never wanted to let go. you couldn’t fathom how in just a few hours you could care so deeply for someone you’d just met.

“lupe i can’t remember the last time anybody made me feel the way you did tonight.” you ran your thumb up over her cheek, catching a glimpse of the clock in the corner.

“if you think i'm just gonna let you waltz out the door and that be the end of it, you're wrong.” you laughed, walking over to the small table in the room. you pulled out a paper and then your bright red lipstick.

“i have an apartment downtown, it’s not too far from here, take the address.”

you handed the slip of paper over to her with your address sloppily written in bold red letters. lupe’s heart swelled as she clutched the paper in her hand, ensuring its reality.

“i know you have to go so i won’t keep you any longer but after you win your next game, stop by. it’ll just be the two of us.” you promised.

“y/n?”

she continued, “can i kiss you before i go—“

you didn’t even give lupe the chance before launching yourself at her. you pressed yourself against her with desperation and need, cupping her face in your hands as your lips smacked over one another. the taste of beer lingered on her tongue as she swirled it over yours, deepening the kiss even further.

your hands roamed all over lupe’s body as she held you, it felt like hours had gone by but the kiss only lasted a mere 10 seconds before you heard your name being called again by the audience. hesitantly you pulled away, placing a light kiss on lupe’s cheek and leaving behind a red lipstick stain.

“i’ll see you soon,” she whispered.

you stepped out first allowing the attention to flock to you so lupe could slip out undetected. you sauntered back onto the stage watching lupe head for the door, giving you one last comforting look as she mouthed a ‘thank you.’

all of those lonely nights you two had spent under a blue moon, calling out for someone for someone to love and you were heard at last. the smell, the taste of each other remained throughout the night as you and lupe went back to your respective lives. impatiently waiting and counting down the minutes until you could finally see each other again. this time without any intrusion from outsiders nor pestering fears of loneliness.

#lupe garcia #a league of their own #aloto #lupe garcia x reader #aloto fic #a league of their own x reader #lupe garcia fluff #lupe garcia smut #lupe garcia x fem reader #a league of their own fanfic #lupe garcia fanfic #lupe garcia x you #lupe garcia x y/n #lupe aloto #lupe garcia x female reader #lupe garcia fanfiction

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novacqnes · 1 year

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hi it’s me, i’m back (blue moon pt 2 asker hehehe)… since we’re all so invested now, may i suggest another continuation that u can absolutely ignore if you’d like! but what about one where lupe convinces her to come over to the house to have dinner with the peaches/introduces her as a friend and somewhere in the night they get frisky and jess walks in on them and ms holiday is gobsmacked and they find out jess knew the whole time bc she walked in on them in the locker room as well…….. my brain is running a million miles an hour and it’s all because of your brilliance

just friends // lupe garcia

warning: very very brief smut, like extremely brief, so brief idk if it’s even smut, and a tiny bit of angst

pairing: lupe garcia x fem reader

a/n: hello again thank you for the request, it took me a while but i hope you enjoy :)

“remind me again why i agreed to this?”

you shifted anxiously from one foot to the other as you stood in front of the peach residence. nausea built in your stomach the longer you waited by the door, too nervous to open it. lupe did her best to maintain her distance, for today you were her friend and she needed the other peaches to believe it.

“because you love me?” she smirked, her tone was playful, but you could sense a similar apprehension in her voice too. she’d been caught one too many times sneaking out of her room at ungodly hours of the night to meet you— but no one could know that. in order to deter any future troubles she promised the peaches that they’d be able to meet the voice that kept her running back to the bar at 2:00 am.

“do any of them know— about us?” you asked in a hushed whisper.

“they don’t have a clue.”

discreetly she took your hands in the front palms of hers, offering you the slightest bit of comfort. she wanted to touch you, and reassure you that everything would be fine but it was simply too dangerous. tonight there would be eyes everywhere so she had to settle for smaller gestures.

but the thought alone seemed to make you uneasy. you didn’t know these girls, and the unpredictability that came with tonight made it even worse. all you had to go on was lupe’s words which didn’t give you the best impression but you had to remember who you were doing it for.

“hey, look at me, they’re gonna love you. and i promise after it’s done we can go back to your place,” she cooed, trailing fingers along the back of your arm. voices from inside the house grew louder as they neared the door. you took a deep breath, jerking your arm back as the door swung open.

sergeant beverly greeted you first with a firm hand, she led you into the house introducing you to the rest of the peaches.

“girls this is y/n, lupe’s—

“friend, she’s my friend.” lupe blurted, drawing amused looks from a few girls, which put you on edge. but nevertheless you pushed the doubt aside, allowing a bright smile to form on your lips. you needed to play the part of lupe’s doting “friend.”

greta spoke first, “how’d you guys meet?” her perfume practically radiated off of her as she approached, cheerfully outstretching her hand towards you.

“at a bar a few months ago, after her show, she offered me a free drink and we’ve been attached ever since.”

you nodded along with lupe’s words, careful not to show your irritation. it was hardly a story, more so a dumbed-down version of your first meeting jammed into a few words.

however, the peaches including beverly seemed to eat it up except for one blonde hair girl whose eyes lingered on you. her hair was pulled back into a braid, and a cigarette was placed in between her lips. her gaze was unwavering and with each passing second, it felt like she was decoding your lie piece by piece.

after a few minutes of conversing with the rest of the peaches, they filed into the kitchen for dinner, putting an end to the dozens of questions. but before lupe could join them you tugged on her arm, pulling her back towards you.

“what are you do—“

“who’s that blonde girl? the one with the braid?” you whispered, eyes darting around to ensure that you were alone.

her brows furrowed in confusion, “jess, why what’s up?”

“i don’t think she likes me.”

there was a hint of sadness in your voice that she noted. despite your adamance you wanted to be liked by the team. and jess’s reluctance to accept— or even great you, bothered you much more than you wanted to admit.

“don’t worry about her, alright? she’s a softie once you get to know her.” she pressed a quick kiss to your cheek, ambling into the kitchen as you followed along, unable to stop thinking about jess.

the dinner continued on and the peaches were fully on board with your friendship. it felt nice to be surrounded by women who were so fiercely protective of one another. however jess’s piercing blue eyes continuously found their way back to you, and you were unsure if it meant she was warming up to your presence or the complete opposite. nevertheless, the dinner ended peacefully and you and lu were finally able to sneak away.

“you sure this is safe?” you mumbled in between heated kisses. lupe’s lips were soft, and they felt even better in the comfort of her own room. the entire place smelt like cinnamon which she adamantly denied was because of her, but it only got stronger as you neared the bed.

“esti’s out with jess, they won’t be back for hours,” she whispered breathily, her hands traveling down to your waist. with a slight push you fell back against the bed, lupe along with you. she moved from your lips to your chest, kissing the soft skin with the utmost fervor. as they grew more intense desire stirred between your legs and you ached for her.

in hindsight it wasn’t the best idea, you knew that and so did she but by no means did you stop. instead, you pulled your top off to give her better access, allowing lupe to further continue her pursuit, slipping a hand into your skirt.

“lu…..” you moaned softly, running your fingers through her curls. she adored the way her name fell from your lips, almost like a chant, and it made her disregard the noises that were steadily nearing the door. the pad of her finger circled along your clit applying more pressure as you squirm underneath her. however, your cries didn’t go unnoticed.

“could you guys be any louder?”

lupe shot up, instinctively covering your body from the voice. you rushed to put your shirt on, eyes darting away from the door where the person stood.

lupe stammered, “shit— jess we—“

“can’t keep your hands off each other?”

there was a certain playfulness to her tone that puzzled the both of you. you expected a gasp, maybe even a scream but she didn’t look shocked in the slightest bit— her arms crossed over her chest as she leaned in the doorway, holding back a smirk.

“are you laughing?” you sputtered, clutching lupe’s hand as your entire face began to heat up— how was she so calm? catching two women half-naked in bed was quite the story, it was a wonder that the whole house was informed already. you whipped your face towards lu however she didn’t share your same confusion, if anything she looked embarrassed.

“i don’t understand, did you tell her?”

“of course not.”

jess burst out into a fit of giggles, clutching onto her stomach as the both of you watched, perplexed. she sauntered towards you, taking a seat on esti’s bed as she pulled out a cigarette.

“either of you got a lighter?” she asked, sticking one end into the side of her mouth. lupe reached into her pocket tossing her a blue one. yet this just seemed to confuse you even more, why was she prolonging this? it made your stomach turn with nausea but all you could do was sit there, stunned.

“that friend's story you gave us was bullshit.” she took a long drag of her smoke, allowing it to permeate the room as you squeezed lupe even harder. blood slowly drained from your face leaving you feeling colder than ever. your entire future laid in the hands of a woman you barely knew.

lupe retorted, “it wasn’t that bad—“

“no it was bad, but the rest of the girls bought it so don’t worry.”

she shot you a kind smile, quickly taking note of your apprehension. your knee began to bounce rapidly, drawing a loud creaking noise from the bed. lupe brought a hand to it, soothingly brushing her thumb against it to calm you.

which worked temporarily but it simply couldn’t tame the hundreds of worrying thoughts plaguing your mind. every moment you’d spent together was now under one large microscope. from your first interaction at the bar to the dozens of secret meetings at your house, you couldn’t stop obsessing over every minuscule detail, regardless of how insignificant.

“it wasn’t just the story, right?” you blurted.

“no, i already knew before but “friend thing” just kinda confirmed it.”

“how?”

she took another drag of her cigarette leaning forward as she grinned at the both of you, not an ounce of malice present in her eyes. and you couldn’t help but find yourself beginning to trust her.

“uh a couple of weeks ago, our game against the blue sox? i went back into the locker room to get something but found you guys instead,” she chuckled, drawing dazed looks from both you and lupe. lu’s face turned a dark shade and yours abashed. the lustful memory was still fresh in your mind, yet neither of you had noticed or even heard a third person anywhere near the room.

lupe asked, “why didn’t you say anything?”

“seemed like you two were having….. an intense moment, didn’t wanna be the one to ruin it.”

you breathed a sigh of relief, jess’s words lifted a tremendous weight that slowly began to crush you. not only did she know but she accepted you. and it was a feeling you weren’t entirely used to. you’d only ever felt true safety with a select few people because the side you treasured most, the one lupe got to see was shunned and villainized by society. but with jess, there wasn’t any shame or judgment.

“jesus kid, you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she teased. lupe turned her attention towards you, your eyes were glassy and distant. she ran a hand up your thigh, slowly pulling you back toward reality.

“you’re not going to say anything?”

she took one last deep inhale, slipping lupe’s lighter into her pocket before making her way back towards the door. her blue eyes briefly met yours and for a moment you knew exactly why.

“we’ve gotta look out for one another, your secret is safe with me, y/n,” she spoke softly, bidding you both goodbye as she left.

for a while, you both sat in peaceful silence. you were grateful for jess, and her words struck you deeper than you ever could’ve imagined. she was more than willing to protect your relationship, despite the damage that would come to the team if it was ever revealed.

warmly, you turned towards lupe, brushing a strand of black hair from her face, “did you know that she was—“

“queer? yeah, we used to go to the clubs together, but i haven't since we started dating.”

the thought lingered on your mind, a place where you and lupe could simply exist, free from judgment and the dull paint of your small apartment. it sounded almost too good to be true.

“we could go, you know?” she whispered, her lips perking up into a gentle smile.

“to the club?”

“mhm, you could even sing there if you’d like- we wouldn’t have to hide.” you fought the urge to look at her doe eyes, but within a matter of seconds, you found your way back to them. and the decision was already made.

#requests #a league of their own #aloto #aloto fanfic #aloto smut #lupe aloto #lupe garcia #lupe garcia fanfic #aloto fic #lupe garcia fluff #lupe garcia fanfiction #lupe garcia x female reader #lupe garcia x y/n #lupe garcia x you #lupe garcia x reader #wlw fluff #wlw smut #wlw #sapphic

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thereforebucket · 2 years

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Shrimpin’ Ain’t Easy

Summary: The problem is, Lupe was pitched this idea, agreed to it, and bought a train ticket here, and she still doesn’t know what she’s goddamn doing here.

“Smell that?” Jess asks from beside her. “That’s the smell of fish guts and a cold beer at the end of the night.” She pokes her jaw out and shakes her head, lost in reverie. “Smells like home.”

Jess pushes off the railing and begins the walk down the steep, cobbled road. “You were fucking landlocked,” Lupe calls after her.

-----

Jess and Lupe decide to head south after the season ends to fulfill Jess' number one dream after baseball: crewing a shrimp boat. Which means a lot of alone time together... Hope that doesn't awaken anything in them...

Pairing: Lupe García/Jess McCready

A/N: Sometimes you think the words “Jess McCready” and “shrimp boat” and then you write 10,000 words about it. Happens all the time.

AO3

The problem is, Lupe can’t say that she doesn’t know how she got here. How she got here is standing two feet away, leaning on the railing and gazing out at the harbor. She has an expression on her face that Lupe has only ever seen before on men fixing up an old car, like they’re the only ones who can see how this story could play out. To see it here makes Lupe want to laugh, or turn tail and run, and she can’t quite decide which.

No, Lupe definitely knows how she got here.

The problem is, Lupe can’t say she didn’t realize it would be this hot, or humid. She grew up on the Gulf, and though she’s never been to New Orleans before now, she remembers the feeling of the sun intensifying in the humidity, the omnipresent sweat on her upper lip, the feeling of her hair being twice the size it should be as it frizzed up.

The problem is, Lupe was pitched this idea, agreed to it, and bought a train ticket here, and she still doesn’t know what she’s goddamn doing here.

Jess pushes off the railing and begins the walk down the steep, cobbled road. “You were fucking landlocked,” Lupe calls after her. “You said this was the first time you’d seen the ocean.”

Jess throws a glance over her shoulder. “My uncle had a cabin on Old Wives Lake. Me and him used to fish walleye all summer long. And pike.” She jerks her head in the direction she’s walking in. “You coming?”

Lupe rolls her eyes, but pushes off the railing muttering “You’re an Old Wives Lake.” One month. Jess had said one month, then they could move on. She sighs. She can make it work for one month.

-----

It takes surprisingly little convincing for Jess to get them onboard a real-life shrimp boat. Captain Williams had initially been skeptical of having two women working his crew, but Jess had looked at him, smiled that cocky smile of hers, and launched into such a grewsome explanation of cleaning walleye that Lupe felt like she was going to throw up. The captain had protested before Jess had even described pulling the bones out and asked her if she could repair nets and lift 75 pounds. Jess had just grinned and spouted off some bullshit about different kinds of fishing nets that Lupe hadn’t bothered to pay attention to, and the captain had reluctantly motioned for her to climb aboard.

Lupe had followed her up the gangplank, not sure she wanted to be alone on the dock, a dark-haired toothpick among all these burly men. The captain had tried to call her off before Jess told him she was good for it. Lupe had just nodded and tried to look as tough as possible, hawking up a wad of spit and spitting it into the water. The captain had stood there, considering her, before finally sighing and nodding.

“Not so many men around these days,” he told them. “We need all the help we can get shrimping.” Which is how Lupe Garcia finds herself in what is apparently Jess McCready’s wildest dream after baseball: crewing a shrimp boat. As she watches Jess cheerfully inspect the winch, she wonders again how the hell she ended up here before the captain puts her to work.

-----

Now Lupe spends her days sorting fish. Shrimp nets, it turns out, do not only pull up shrimp, but instead pull up just about every goddamn fish out there. And crabs. Lupe’s been pinched by so many crabs at this point that it isn’t even a surprise when it happens anymore. She’s thankful that they’re doing this right after the season instead of right before it, because if she had to play with her fingers this fucked up, she’d be on the bench every game. Lupe hopes that after this month, the only crabs she sees again are steamed and served with a side of melted butter.

Jess is living, though. She’s constantly hauling nets, carrying shrimp to the ice box, or sometimes sitting quietly, doing the most delicate net repairs Lupe has ever seen. Lupe indicated her surprise at this, and Jess shrugged, pulling her net up and placing an ankle on her other knee. “I don’t know,” she says, “this just always seemed more useful to me than learning embroidery.” Her nose is peeling with sunburn, her arms look tough and strong, and there are small freckles beginning to dot her shoulders. Lupe still just feels frizzy.

It's not rare that they’re working on the same task, but it’s rare that it’s just the two of them without the captain or the other crewmate. Lupe is sorting the catch, swearing at every damn crab, and when she hears Jess’ chuckle she looks up and scowls. “What are you laughing at?” she asks.

“You,” Jess says, then reaches forward, picking up a crab. “You have to pick them up behind their pincers,” she says, and bends her hand so Lupe can see how she’s holding the shell. Lupe tries it and, sure enough, the crab’s little arms just wave wildly in the air. They can’t reach her.

“Neat,” she says, and chuckles. “Can’t get me now, you dirty bastards.” She tosses her crab into the discard bucket and gingerly picks up another.

“I can’t believe you grew up on the Gulf of Mexico and you don’t know how to pick up a crab,” Jess says. She’s scooted closer to Lupe and jostles her shoulder with her own.

“I never picked them up!” Lupe says. “I can’t believe you do know how to pick up a crab!”

“It was crayfish, where I grew up,” says Jess. “We called them ‘mudbugs.’ Used to attach them to my brothers’ shorts when they weren’t looking.” Lupe can imagine this, can imagine a smaller Jess, all big eyes and too-long limbs, attaching mudbugs to the shorts of boys who looked just like her, only taller. Lupe imagines these boys as the Jess before her, but missing Jess’ signature…well, she’s not really sure what the signature is, but it’s there, she’s sure of it.

She shakes her head. “Of course you did,” is all she says. She tosses the crab in her hand into the bucket and continues sorting the catch.

-----

They don’t sleep on the boat. The Jolly Josephine, as their trawler is called, mostly fishes the waters near shore. It’s small-time work for small-time pay, but it’s enough to pay room and board at a boarding house near the water if they share a room. They don’t spend a ton of time there, though. It’s one of the few boarding houses that would take them after learning that they’re working as shrimpers and Lupe’s pretty sure it’s actually just an undercover brothel. She spends the first night at the house paranoid, then buys a sturdy lock from the hardware store on the way to work the next morning and installs it that night when she gets back from the boat.

New Orleans, it turns out, has great night-life anyway.

She and Jess are out one night, trying their best to not let the fatigue of the day get to them, and are just sitting down at a high table with a beer when a woman in trousers and a vest sidles up to them.

“I haven’t seen you two around before,” she says, dragging on the tail-end of a cigarette and gesturing at Lupe, “and I’d remember you.”

Lupe feels herself puff up at this and a lopsided grin makes its way to the surface. “Lupe García,” she says, holding out her hand. The woman shakes it and Lupe gestures to Jess. “And this is Jess McCready.”

“Eddie LeBlanc,” the woman says, shaking Jess’ hand as well. “What brings the two of you to town?” Lupe looks at her friend. Jess can explain what they’re doing here.

Jess takes a pull from her beer and grins at Eddie. “We’re shrimpers,” she says.

There’s a noise at the back of Lupe’s throat at the same time that Eddie says “What?”

“We’re ballplayers,” Lupe says, looking at Jess. “We’re just shrimpers for the month of September.”

“Now this, I gotta hear about,” Eddie says. “You mind if I buy you two a drink?”

Lupe offers Eddie another cigarette when she comes back with beers and tells her all about the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League.

“I’ve never heard of that!” Eddie exclaims. “Geez, who let the Midwest have all the fun?” Lupe grins, satisfied. Jess may be content to let this side-job define her life, but a few weeks ago, they had been heroes. Lupe just wants to make sure the world knows that too. “How’d you end up shrimping in New Orleans, then?” Eddie asks, wrinkling her nose, and Lupe lets Jess take this one.

“Well,” she says, “the end of the season rolled around and neither of us really wanted to go back to what we’d been doing before, so we decided to travel together until the next one starts up. It’s always been a dream of mine to crew a shrimp boat,” (Eddie laughs a little at this,) “plus I knew this one could handle it.” Jess takes another swig from her beer. “She’s tough.” Lupe shrugs modestly but smiles a little.

Something happens over the course of their conversation that surprises Lupe. She’s never had any trouble pulling women (and she’s positive Eddie’s like them), but Eddie, who had clearly sidled her way up to Lupe, starts to gravitate towards Jess. Lupe watches it happen, a little incredulous. Eddie starts hanging onto Jess’ every word, asking for stories from playing baseball, hell, even asks about what it’s like on a shrimp boat. She buys another round of beers for the three of them, but barely even glances at Lupe when she hands hers over, instead choosing to clink her beer with Jess’. Jess, to her credit, seems about as interested in the conversation as she was in the beginning. She mostly just seems excited to be able to talk about baseball and shrimping with a willing audience. Still though, it makes Lupe’s blood boil a little when, at the end of the night, Eddie pulls out a little slip of paper and coyly writes something on it, before slipping it into Jess’ hand. She whispers something into Jess’ ear, the curve of her lips just brushing the shell, and Jess gives her a delighted grin as Eddie slips from the bar.

Lupe looks purposefully away and takes a long pull from her beer as Jess stands up and announces she’s beat. Lupe is surprised again, though, when she asks if she’s coming. There’s something confusing inside her, so she shakes her head and indicates to her beer. “I’m going to finish this,” she says.

Jess looks at her for a second, taking her in, then roots through her wallet for a tip to leave on their table. “You going to be ok walking back alone?” she asks, and Lupe is reminded of just how dark her walk is, and how late it is, and how close to the water they are living. She hesitates, her eyes throwing a flash of something she’s too buzzed to process at Jess. Jess finds the bill she’s looking for, slaps it in the middle of the table, and sits back down. “I’ll wait with you,” she says, and that surprises Lupe more than anything.

“That girl…” she says. She trails off.

Jess gives her a quizzical look, then raises her eyebrows in recognition. Her mouth moves in the shape of an ‘Oh!’ A pause, then a smirk, and then a smaller ‘oh.’ Jess slides the piece of paper across the table. “She gave me her number, yes, but she also gave me the address of a bar we should go to,” she says. “Sounds a lot like Vi’s.”

Lupe looks down at the paper and sees that it’s all as Jess says. It’s a good thing, having this address. She’d wondered what the scene for them would look like here in New Orleans. She nods. The number rankles though. “I see,” she says, and takes another swig from her beer. “You didn’t follow her out though,” she says, pointing at the telephone number.

Jess looks up at her then, really looks up at her. There’s a hint of a smile on her open mouth and Lupe feels like she’s missed the point of something she didn’t even know she should be paying attention to. “Not my type,” Jess says, the smile breaking free. “You jealous, García?”

“Of you?” Lupe asks. Her cheeks are heating up for some stupid reason. She’s going to blame it on the alcohol. “You wish.” She takes a final swig, then holds the bottle up and shakes it to show Jess it’s empty.

Jess laughs quietly and stands. “Let’s go, hermano.”

When they leave the bar, Jess slings an arm around Lupe’s shoulders and Lupe rolls her eyes. “I just mean that she was talking to me first,” Lupe says, and Jess just laughs again and pulls her in, rubbing her knuckles into Lupe’s scalp before letting her go.

-----

It storms the next day, so Jess and Lupe only feel fit going home, eating a hot meal, and sleeping until their shift the next day. The night after, however, sees them getting dressed up and heading for the bar Eddie mentioned.

Unlike in Rockford, where the bar was a nameless venture behind a false tax setup, this one has a name. Lucille’s is actually just a bar you can walk into from the street, which would make the paper Eddie handed them useless to anyone who saw it unless they had the information she had whispered to Jess on her way out.

Jess walks up to the bar, cigarette behind her ear, and asks the bartender, a young man who looks like he might be sporting a bit of unsuccessfully wiped off mascara, for a couple of beers, “to toast our European allies.” Lupe thinks this is a stupid code word. He tells her they’ll be coming right up, then makes eye contact with a man standing by the bathrooms who nods slightly and jerks his head towards what looks like a back room. Lupe and Jess wait a breath before standing and following the man.

He leads them through a series of hallways in the back that take them past a storeroom and what looks like the door to someone’s apartment before stopping before a heavy door and knocking a series of knocks. The door is pushed open and Lupe hears jazz music sweep out, a single horn player who’s playing something low and slow. She and Jess thank the man and step inside.

The club is smaller than Vi’s and a little darker, with more couples dancing or getting busy in the corner, but there’s the same thrill Lupe always gets stepping into places like this where she can truly be herself.

There’s a whoop from the bar and Lupe sees Eddie sitting with a few friends, gesturing for them to come over. She rolls her eyes a bit, hoping the gesture is hidden by her hat, but follows Jess across the room anyway.

Eddie holds up an unlit match as Jess approaches and raises her eyebrows. Jess nods, grinning. Then she pulls the cigarette behind her ear out and offers it to Lupe, who takes it, a questioning look on her face. Jess just fishes around for the pack in her pants and pulls another one out of it, sticking it between her lips. Eddie lights it up, then holds the match out to Lupe before shaking it out.

“These are the ballplayers-turned-shrimpers I’ve been telling you about,” Eddie says to her friends, a tall femme blonde woman and a shorter butch with dark eyes.

“Oh my gosh, my sister wrote to me about the women’s league!” the blonde one says. “I’m from Gary, Indiana originally.”

Lupe draws herself up, happy to be recognized. “Really?” she asks. “Did your sister ever make it to one of the games? We were in Rockford, but we played the South Bend Blue Sox a lot.”

They start to pair off, with Lupe talking to the tall femme—Celeste—and Jess talking to Eddie. Their butch friend sort of stands in between, listening to both conversations and interjecting here and there. Lupe doesn’t catch her name. She’s telling Celeste all about baseball—turns out, her sister never made it to a game but would occasionally listen to one on the radio—but still finds herself drawn to Jess and Eddie, who are laughing together like they’ve known each other forever. There’s this feeling in the pit of her stomach that’s hard to codify. Is she still sour on Eddie after she chose Jess the other night? She tells herself to get over it as Celeste puts a hand on her arm, laughing at a story of Shirley sneaking a meat thermometer into a diner so she could check the internal temperature of her food. Something still feels off, though, and it’s something that feels just out of reach.

She’s taking a drag on her cigarette, wondering why this isn’t more fun, when Celeste asks her to dance. Lupe isn’t startled, exactly, but she hadn’t been paying that much attention either, too busy trying to sort out what was going on in her head, and so she fumbles for a minute with her words before she’s able to get out a “S-Sure.” She even allows Celeste to lead her out to the dance floor instead of the other way round. Jess catches her eye, furrowing her brow and smirking at her when she sees this, but still takes the opportunity to slap her ass as she walks by and whistle. Lupe rolls her eyes but smiles and follows Celeste to the floor to lead her in a dance.

It's a bit like dancing with Greta, Lupe thinks, which isn’t something she’s done but she’s seen it happen. It’s odd to lead someone so much taller than her and she feels as though she understands a bit of Shaw’s bad dancing when the music picks up and she tries to lead Celeste through a turn. She’s smoother than Shaw was, though not by much.

The music slows for the next song and Celeste pulls her in. “Dance with me again, Striker?” she asks, and God, it feels just like home. Lupe nods and has just enough time to wonder when Rockford, Illinois became home to her before Celeste’s nails are scratching gently at the base of Lupe’s scalp. Then her hand comes around to Lupe’s chin, slowly tilting her face up before capturing her lips in a kiss. Lupe feels the familiar heat begin to build in the pit of her stomach and the two of them slip further into the midst of the dancers.

It's clear what they mean to do, and it only takes that and another song for Celeste to whisper in Lupe’s ear, asking if she wants to get out of here. Lupe glances around Celeste at the bar and notices Jess watching them, an inscrutable look on her face. She takes a pull from her beer and Lupe wonders if she’s had too much to drink or something, before realizing that they haven’t actually been there that long. When Jess realizes Lupe is looking at her, she looks away, something almost like a scowl on her face.

Lupe feels a tug on her heartstrings and tenses her legs, ready to go and check on her, but Celeste is rubbing soft circles into Lupe’s bicep and her breath is still hot on her ear and, well, Lupe can check in with Jess later, can’t she?

She catches Jess looking a second time and nods at her. Jess nods back, raising her beer in acknowledgement, but the same inscrutable expression is on her face. Yes, Lupe will ask about it later, she decides, and turns so her lips are an inch away from Celeste’s. “Where to doll?” she asks, and Celeste grins, kisses her, and then leads her to the door.

-----

It’s almost over before it starts.

Celeste leads her to a tiny apartment a few streets over and tells her that her roommate, who turns out to be the tiny butch they met earlier, is still out. Lupe takes that opportunity to pin her against the door and gets another opportunity to feel like Shaw as she feels Celeste struggling to match her height.

Lupe gets her out of her shirt, Celeste kicks off her shoes, and then she’s leading Lupe to her bed and laying down. Then Lupe is over her and Celeste is gasping and then, suddenly, it’s over.

And Lupe has no idea where her head was during the whole thing.

She’s still in her clothes and, she realizes with a start, she doesn’t really want them off. Celeste starts tugging at her shirt, trying to fumble with the buttons, and Lupe just eases her hands away and stands up.

“Not tonight, doll,” she says. Celeste seems disappointed but lets her go and points out the washroom when asked.

Inside the washroom, Lupe splashes cold water on her face and looks at herself hard in the mirror. “¿Qué te pasa?” she asks herself. The person in the mirror looks just as confused as she does.

Exiting the lavatory, she looks into Celeste’s room for politeness’ sake, then leaves after a quick goodbye.

The walk back to the room she shares with Jess is long and dark and Lupe already feels a little fucked in the head. She hopes Jess will be awake to discuss this with her, but when she gets back, Jess is already in bed with the lights off, her back to the room. Disappointed, Lupe changes into a t-shirt and short, light pants, then crawls into bed, staring at the wall for an eternity before finally falling asleep.

-----

On the boat the next day, Jess avoids her.

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what’s happening for the first few hours. Jess jumps at the chance to do some of the more strenuous jobs and Lupe supposes her talk will have to wait. Later though, it’s just the two of them sorting the catch again and Jess asks to be reassigned, citing nausea.

“You’ve never been seasick in your life,” Lupe tries to joke with her, but Jess all but ignores her, throwing her the tiniest of glances. Lupe worries she really is sick, but after Jess gets the other crew member, George, to switch with her, she sees her laughing at something Captain Williams says, looking hale and hearty and carefree. It sets Lupe’s jaw clenching, this anxious feeling that something is wrong, and she works in silence with George until the catch is all sorted and ready for processing.

It's hours later, when they pull up the nets for a second time, that Lupe gets her chance. George is helping the captain ready the nets for another trawl and Jess finally lets herself be put on catch-sorting with Lupe.

Lupe tries and fails to catch her eye. “Hey,” she says. No response. “Hey.” She tries again. Jess is picking up shrimp like lightning and tossing them into the bucket, seemingly wanting to be anywhere but here. And Lupe’s temper runs out. She picks up a crab and throws it like she’s pitching all the way to home, right into Jess’ chest.

Jess looks up, incredulous. “Did you just throw a crab at me?” she asks.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Lupe shouts back, throwing her arms wide.

Jess looks away again, sullen, then looks over her shoulder at the Captain and George.

“Everything alright, ladies?” Captain Williams calls over, and Jess nods and waves him off.

“Can you keep your voice down?” she hisses at Lupe, and Lupe grits her teeth.

“I don’t know, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” she asks.

Jess moves her jaw from side to side for a few seconds before she flicks her eyes up to Lupe’s. She sighs. “No,” she says, but there’s no fight to it.

Lupe exhales heavily, then wipes her forehead with the heel of her hand, leaving a thin trail of brine behind. She feels a lump growing in her throat. She’s at a loss. “Then,” she swallows, “are you going to let it go?”

Jess looks away, picking a few more shrimp out of the pile. She takes a breath. “Yes,” she says, exhaling.

“Yeah?” Lupe asks.

“Yes,” Jess says, meeting her eyes this time.

Lupe exhales a shaky breath. “Ok then.” She fiddles with another crab she’s picked up, tilting its shell back and forth in her fingers. “Ok.”

They go back to sorting the catch, neither of them looking at the other, until Lupe feels something hit her in the chest and looks down. A crab that hadn’t been there a moment before lays sprawled on its back, legs waving in the air. Lupe looks up and Jess ducks her head down, hiding a smile. Lupe closes her eyes and laughs. The work feels a little lighter.

-----

The kitchen at the boarding house stands empty after about 7:30 pm besides the occasional girl coming down to put the kettle on, so Lupe decides to put some of her hard-earned wages, as well as ration points, towards buying a pound of the shrimp they caught today from Captain Williams and picking up some vegetables. She suggests that she and Jess skip the matron’s meatloaf and Jess offers to take a long walk and bring back some beers.

So Lupe decides to write home. It’s her first letter from New Orleans and, with only two weeks left in the city, it may be her last. She and Jess are traveling to visit Esti, who is staying with a cousin in Florida, next, so she tells her parents to send any mail for her there for the next month. She also tells them about working in New Orleans, though leaves out any mentions of shrimping. She’s not sure her parents would approve of this job, and though she mostly stopped caring about what her parents thought a long time ago, she’d rather not start a fight. She goes ahead and writes out a quick note to Esti as well, asking her to hold any mail her parents send for her and telling her they’ll see her in a few weeks. She leaves that envelope open in case Jess wants to add anything.

Then it’s 7:30 and Lupe makes her way down to the kitchen. She doesn’t have a solid plan, but she has good ingredients and a cigarette and the sun is casting its last golden rays through the small kitchen window. It’s beautiful. So, Lupe gets to work chopping up an onion and some garlic and a few peppers and starts to build a recipe.

It’s near the end, when she’s throwing the shrimp into the pan, that she hears someone whistling just beyond the kitchen doors and turns just as Jess shoulders them open, holding a brace of beers and something wrapped in paper under one arm.

“Hey,” Lupe says, and gives the shrimp in the pan a toss with one hand to coat them in the sauce. “You’re just in time. These’ll be done in a few minutes.”

“Smells good,” Jess says. “I, um, bought some bread.” And she sets the paper package down on the counter.

Lupe feels her mouth quirk up into a smile. “Thanks,” she says. Jess sets the beers on the counter as well, opening one for Lupe and passing it to her. Then, she sets a hand on her shoulder for a moment and leans in a little to see what Lupe is cooking. The shrimp sizzle, turning pink at the contact with the pan, and Lupe, suddenly self-conscious, feels like she knows how they feel. She and Jess are in that weird stage after a fight where everything’s a little sensitive, she reasons, so the familiarity is both welcome and a little strange. Jess pulls her hand away, though, and Lupe feels a distinct sense of loss.

“Looks good, Lu,” Jess says, and opens her own beer. “Can I cut this bread up?”

Lupe worries her top lip for a moment, trying to regain some sense of herself from before Jess walked in. “You can do whatever you want,” she says, then softens. She throws a grateful glance at Jess. “But, uh, thanks, that would be helpful.”

Jess laughs quietly and pulls a bread knife from the knife block without a word.

Not long after, Lupe cuts the gas on the stove and grabs two large, shallow bowls from the cabinet, as well as a serving spoon from a drawer. She serves up two bowls of shrimp and hands one to Jess, who places a slice of good bread into each at an angle. Lupe looks through the kitchen door to the dining room and wrinkles her nose at the giggles and the low voices of men drifting in through the door. “Do you wanna just eat in here?” she asks, and Jess says “Sure.”

They eat standing, leaning up against the counter, and it’s clear it’s a hit from the moan Jess lets out at the first bite. Her eyes pop open and she furrows her brow at Lupe and looks her up and down. “I didn’t know you could cook like that,” she says, smacking Lupe’s arm with the back of her hand.

Lupe grins at her. “Never had the right chance.” She holds out her beer and Jess clinks hers against it.

“Well Jesus, we’ll have to convince the team to spend some of their paycheck on shrimp next year,” Jess says, turning back to her bowl on the counter for another bite, and Lupe chuckles.

The smile begins to fade on her lips, though, and she leans over to bump her shoulder against Jess’. “Hey,” she says, and Jess looks up at her. “You ok?”

Jess nods, takes a swig of her beer, and swallows, before turning back around and folding her arms across her chest. Lupe notices her pinky finger scratching against the inside of her arm. “Yeah,” she says, and looks up, biting her lip. “Sorry, I was kind of an asshole today.”

“Ehh, a little,” Lupe says. She lets Jess stew for a second. “Not like Shaw on a power trip bad, but a little.” Jess’ mouth quirks up and she scrunches it shut to keep it from becoming a smile. Lupe knocks her shoulder again. “So, you ok?”

Jess nods again, looking over and meeting her eyes this time. There’s a lot held in those eyes, and Lupe can’t unravel it all, but she does look better. “Yeah,” she says. “I’m ok.”

Lupe nods back and feels an urge to put her head on Jess’ shoulder or her arm around her or some shit. It’s a feeling that reminds her of when Esti blew out Bev’s tire and Jess went out and came back with three cokes, some sort of fondness and care. She doesn’t do it though. “Good,” she says instead, and spoons another bite of the shrimp into her mouth.

When she feels Jess’ arm snake around her middle, she’s chewing and so has an excuse not to react, but it validates that fondness and makes it rise up within her so that she leans her head in when Jess pulls her close in a side hug. “Thanks for checking, Lu,” she murmurs, and Lupe has to concentrate hard on her bite of food so she doesn’t do something stupid.

-----

So that’s new.

Lupe spends the next week addressing, with growing horror, the fact that the friend she is living, working, and spending every free moment with is someone she is developing feelings for.

Now, Jess’ roguish winks on the boat hauling in the lazy line aren’t as easy for Lupe to roll her eyes at. They go out to Lucille’s again and run into Eddie (sans Celeste and the tiny butch, to Lupe’s immense relief) and it’s all Lupe can do to keep from shattering her beer bottle from sheer force of grip as Eddie continues to hang all over Jess. Hell, Lupe, once free of any hang-ups when it came to changing clothes in front of her, now turns away anytime she or Jess are changing, even waiting for Jess to run to the washroom down the hall.

In her own washroom run, Lupe looks at herself in the mirror and smacks herself across the face a few times. “You are traveling together,” she tells her reflection. “Nothing can happen.”

But that voice gets smaller and smaller. What would happen if something happened between them?

She thinks about it. It’s definitely possible to keep a relationship like that hidden from the world, and she figures they’d do a damn sight better than Gill and Shaw did with all their obvious sneaking around. Hell, they’d probably have a leg up if they made it to next season since everyone already knows they’re close.

And therein lies the heart of the matter. Lupe isn’t closer with anyone else on the team than Jess. Honestly, if she lets herself think it, she isn’t really close with anyone off the team either, which means…is Jess her best friend? Lupe, taking a walk near the dock after dinner, puts her head in her hands, slumps against a wall, and groans. Why does this have to be so complicated?

She doesn’t want to lose her friend, she decides, and pushes herself off the wall with her hip, throwing her hands out in a gesture of finality. She fishes around in her pocket for a toothpick and sticks it in her teeth, continuing her walk.

And then there’s a flash of last week, of Jess with her arm around Lupe in the kitchen of their boarding house, and there’s a stab of something so sharp in Lupe’s heart that she squeezes her eyes shut, hands balling into fists at her sides.

See, Lupe understands sacrifice. She understands that, sometimes, something big goes out the window to make room for the life you need to live. Sometimes, that something is a habit, sometimes it’s comfort, sometimes it’s pride. Hell, Lupe gave up her own child at seventeen to live the life she lives now. She also learned that you can’t always know if you’ve made the right choice or not, but you can make the most of whichever choice you make.

And the thing is, she would love to be with Jess. She would love to take her dancing at Lucille’s, to be pressed up against her and feel the softness in that angular jaw. She’d also love those quieter moments with her, the moments spent cooking or smoking together outside, moments of translating Jess’ words into a letter for Esti or reminiscing about Maybelle’s terrible cooking.

And it hits her: these are things they already have. They have that quiet camaraderie, that deep understanding. Which brings her to the winking. And the arms around her. And the cheek kisses. Is. Is that what they’ve been doing this whole time? Does Jess want to be with her too?

Except, Jess is like this with other people too. That time during the season where the team had seen The Wizard of Oz on an off day, she had left the theater with her arm around Maybelle, and lord knows she loves the hell out of Esti…

…Except that something feels different about the way she interacts with Lupe. They’re brothers, hermanos, they have a bond forged by recognizing the otherness in someone else. And maybe therein lies her answer.

As she walks, Lupe turns a corner and the boarding house comes into view. She sighs, adjusts her cap so it sits low over her eyes, and shoves her hands in her pockets. She’s not going to figure this out just by thinking about it, she figures, and she reluctantly heads towards the door.

-----

And then Jess rents a boat.

Why she thinks either of them would want to go out on the water after spending all day shrimping is a mystery to Lupe, but it’s Jess and she comes to her with that grin and a shoulder squeeze and an “I rented a boat for the night,” and goddamn if Lupe can’t help following her out of the boarding house.

Jess has her guitar slung over one shoulder and a wicker basket covered with a cloth and all she asked Lupe to bring was smokes. So now Lupe is quietly pretending not to watch Jess in her clean white shirt carry everything like a goddamn knight and also pretending not to be charmed by it until she’s sick of herself.

“Give me that,” she says, swooping in and taking the basket.

Jess shrugs. “Suit yourself,” she says, flashing her that grin again. And Lupe has to look away and press her tongue hard into her molars to keep herself in the reality of the situation: Jess rented a boat because she’s a goddamn crazy person or some sort of reincarnated sea captain and can’t get enough of the goddamn ocean. And Lupe’s along for the ride.

The boat is a little motorboat tied off on the end of the dock with the words S.S. Luna painted on the side with a little crescent moon. And Jess looks at Lupe, pleased as punch, and holds her arm out to it. “Well, whaddya think?” she asks. And Lupe shifts the basket up to her front and fiddles with the handle because she has to do something to cut the tension, then glances up.

“I think I’m going to have to call the coast guard on you when you steer us into a big wave or something.” She pulls at the cloth over the contents of the basket and Jess smacks her hand away, rolling her eyes.

“No peeking,” she says.

And then they’re loading up the boat and Jess is pushing them away from the dock.

The plan, it turns out, is just to eat, drink, smoke, and play music until they can’t anymore. The only destination Jess has in mind is just to be away from people. She steers them around the coast for while until they reach a quiet inlet, more of a swamp than anything, and then she cuts the motor and finally lets Lupe look in the basket.

Inside is another loaf of good bread, two sausages, some hard cheese, a little knife, some beers, and a pack of playing cards. Jess lets the boat drift and tunes up the guitar while Lupe cuts into the food, making little slices of everything to be assembled when they want it. Then Jess starts to play. Then Jess starts to sing. And it hits Lupe that this might just be the most romantic thing she’s ever been a part of and it’s just two friends in a boat. And it makes her want to dive headfirst into the water.

Instead, she casually assembles bread, meat, and cheese in that order and trades Jess for her guitar so she can finally hear herself goddamn think.

Lupe doesn’t know how to play very well, but she knows a few chords. She strums. She hums a tune her mother used to sing. She purposefully looks anywhere but Jess, who finishes her slice at her leisure, waiting until Lupe is done to reach over and shake her knee, a fond smile on her lips.

“That was good, hermano,” she says, and then lets go.

Lupe shrugs, a little self-conscious, and passes the guitar back. “Yeah, well, I hope you like playing because I only did that so you could eat something. It’s my turn now,” and she dives back into the basket to assemble more food for herself. Jess just chuckles and strums out “Dream a Little Dream of Me,” a song which Lupe desperately hopes is not an omen of her night.

Later, when they’ve eaten their fill, they give the guitar a rest (to the immense relief of Lupe’s heart) and pull out the deck of cards. They play poker, betting hunks of bread, and Jess tries to claim that, because her hunk is bigger, it should count as two chips. Lupe responds to that by biting it in half and Jess rolls her eyes, a smile flickering over her face. Each time one of them wins, they clink beers, and it feels like putting on a show except it’s just the two of them.

By the time the game has ended, half the bread chunks have been eaten out of spite and the moon has risen, a big full moon as yellow as the eye of a wolf.

Jess looks up at it and whistles long and low. “Yeah,” Lupe says, and they watch it for a while. Jess picks up her guitar again and starts fingering a melody softly and they just stay like that as the moon climbs higher and higher. Lupe passes Jess a cigarette after she finishes her song and they smoke in silence. It feels like the best parts of the summer, like the times they would sit smoking on the porch together or the walks back to the house after a night at Vi’s. Peaceful. At ease in each other’s company.

Eventually, though, their cigarettes are finished and Jess asks Lupe, softly, if she’s ready to head back. And Lupe looks over at Jess, washed in moonlight and looking at her so gently, and knows that the only thing she’d want to do out here is pull her close and kiss her senseless.

So she says yes. And Jess nods, sets her guitar down, and starts up the motor.

This is where it all goes south.

Throughout the evening, they had drifted closer to the edge of the swamp. Jess would occasionally course correct them back into more open water, but this time she had let it go long enough that they were almost fully surrounded by swamp. Which means that, as they start up the outboard motor and try to get out of it, they end up scraping over a dead log with a sickening scrunnnch!

“Uh-oh,” Jess says.

Lupe’s eyes widen. “Uh-oh?” she says. “What do you mean, ‘uh-oh’?” The word burns a hole in her mouth. She sees Jess’ lanky frame go rigid.

Jess quickly cuts and raises the motor and the boat is able to just make it over the log, where it floats gently into some weeds.

“It’s fine,” Jess says, waving the log away. “See? It’s fine.”

And then the water starts seeping in.

“Oh my god,” Lupe says. She throws her arms out in a panic. “Oh my god, Jess, what do we do?”

“I’m working on it,” Jess says, pulling the spare oars out of the bottom of the boat and fitting them into the holders. She gives an experimental pull on them.

Lupe looks down and finds that the hole is an unsightly gash in what looks like an old boat patch at her feet. She crosses herself.

Jess is able to maneuver the boat out of the weeds and back into the open, but they’re taking on water fast.

“Should, should we toss the motor?” Lupe asks, looking for something to throw. “The food?”

“What?” Jess asks.

“You said that any time you’re on a sinking boat, the first thing you do is drop the dead weight!”

Jess has the audacity to crack a smile. “Maybe I’ll ask you to swim then.”

Lupe kicks her foot through the growing puddle at their feet and splashes Jess. “Not funny, McCready.”

Jess holds up her hands against the water. “Geez, ok,” she says, chuckling a little. “Don’t get my guitar wet.” She picks it up by the neck and holds it out. “Actually, hold this up,” she says, and Lupe takes it gingerly. Jess angles the motor back into the water. “I’m going to try to get us to shore,” she says, and starts the motor again, heading for land.

As fast as the motor is moving them, they’re still taking on water at a surprising rate. Lupe looks at the shore, still two full city blocks’ length out of reach, and her heart sinks. They’re not going to make it. For all Jess’ bravado and know-how, they’re going to sink in this godforsaken boat and no one will even know where to look for them.

The water is up past their ankles now and Lupe is sweating. “Jess…” she says.

“It’ll be ok,” Jess tells her, but her face is stony, tense.

Lupe waits another minute, clutching tight to the guitar and trying not to look at the rising water. She fails. It’s up another inch. Their basket of food is floating. “Jess…” Lupe tries again.

“Hold on,” Jess says, her hand white-knuckled on the rudder.

Lupe looks down again. The water us up to her mid-calves and oh god, the boat is going to sink. There’s still a block and a half’s worth of water between them and the shore and they’re going to sink, and maybe Jess can swim, but Lupe can’t, and it’s late at night and there’s no one else on the water to see what’s happening and oh god, she’s going to die, she’s going to drown out here, her only life preserver a guitar she’s promised not to get wet and the last thing she would have done on this bitch of an Earth would be to tell Jess to head back home because she was too scared to make a move.

And that’s what does it, that’s what pushes her over the edge, and she stands up abruptly, throwing her arms out for balance.

“Woah, Lu, what are you—” Jess starts, but she doesn’t get to finish because Lupe is grabbing her by the shirt collar, dragging her to her feet, and pulling her into a searing kiss. It’s desperate, it’s passionate, and god, is it good. Jess reaches up her hands to cradle Lupe’s face and Lupe leans into her, drinking her in.

Jess’ hands slide down her neck and come to rest lightly on Lupe’s shoulders. They break apart and look at each other, just breathing. Lupe is breathing hard, her face twisted into an expression of grief, of loss. Jess is looking at her with quiet awe. “I, I wanted to do that before we,” Lupe swallows a lump in her throat, “before we drowned. Well, you might be able to swim this, but me?” she trails off.

The look on Jess’ face grows more complicated. There’s still that awe, that gravity, but there’s also a furrow in her brow and something that looks like a smile playing on her lips.

“I,” Jess starts, fiddling with the material of Lupe’s shirt, “have been waiting for you to do that for weeks.” And the last few weeks suddenly flash in Lupe’s mind, all the winks and the touches and the, oh god, their fight… A fresh wave of devastation floods through her, until her attention falls on the distinct sparkle in Jess’ eyes. “But,” Jess continues, tapping her hand against Lupe’s collarbone for emphasis, “we’re not going to drown out here.” Lupe thinks she may be laughing.

She reaches up to hold Jess’ hand at her collarbone. “I can’t swim!” she says again, pleading with her eyes for her to understand.

“I heard you say that,” Jess says measuredly, “and we’re going to talk later about why you let me talk you into crewing a fishing boat when you can’t swim, but either way, we’re not going to drown.” She’s holding back a smile. “The depth here is only about two meters. That’s a little over six feet,” she continues at Lupe’s blank expression.

“I know how deep two meters is!” Lupe says. She tries to peer down through the water, but it just looks murky. She turns back to Jess, lost. “How do you know?” she asks.

“I looked at a depth chart,” Jess says, like that’s a completely fucking normal thing to do, “at the library one night.” Lupe stares at her. “Let’s sit before we tip the boat over,” Jess says, “and find something to help us bail some of this water out.”

Despite still being mostly dry, Lupe feels like a wet blanket has been placed over the situation. She ends up using her shoes to bail water, handing Jess’ guitar back to her to hold while she steers the motor. It’s not futile, exactly, but it’s just barely keeping the creep of the water at bay. Lupe believes in Jess and her powers of survival, but she doesn’t necessarily believe that they can get this boat to shore safely. Finally, Jess cuts the motor.

Lupe looks at her askance. “What are you doing?” she asks.

“The bail isn’t working and the water is shallow enough here that I can just pull us to shore,” Jess says, shrugging, and holds out her guitar. “Hold this,” she says. Lupe takes it. Jess starts to unbutton her shirt and winks at Lupe, who flushes a little. “Looks like it’s time to drop that dead weight.” She kicks off her shoes and trousers and, stripped down to her boxers and undershirt, dives overboard. The boat, to her credit, sits a little higher in the water.

It turns out the water is just about at the height of Jess’ chin at this depth, and so she makes a loop with the mooring rope and throws it over her shoulder, swimming until she can walk.

Lupe bails out the boat until the water is about chest height for Jess, and then she gets out and walks alongside her, holding Jess’ guitar above her head. The water is lukewarm at best and the bottom is made of silty sand just soft enough squish unpleasantly through her toes.

“So,” she starts, trudging through the murky water, “do we tell the team about this next summer? I mean, you finally have a real sinking boat story.” She feels drunk, loose, now that the adrenaline has left her body, seeking some sort of equilibrium.

Jess laughs. “The other stories were real!” she says.

“Sure, sure,” says Lupe. Jess splashes her and Lupe laughs. “Hey, hey! Don’t splash your guitar!”

It still feels surreal, talking this way. It’s both normal and out of place after nearly sinking in a small boat on wide water. And the kiss… Lupe looks away for a moment, biting her lip. They should probably talk about that.

“Hey,” she squeaks out, then hurriedly clears her throat and tries again. “Hey.” Much better. “I, uh…” Jess looks up, curiosity on her face. Bathed in moonlight, wet clothes clinging to her frame and droplets of water suspended on her cheeks, her nose, her lips, Lupe gets caught up in just looking at her. Realizing what she’s doing, she swallows and looks away, starting again. “I, uh, I just wanted to say that, uh…” And for some reason, she can’t get it out.

“That you just kissed me because you thought you were going to die?” she asks. Her voice is quieter than usual, guarded, and Lupe whips around, shocked, sending water droplets flying.

“What? No!” she exclaims. There’s hurt in Jess’ eyes and Lupe stumbles over her words trying to get them out. “No!” she says again. “No, the opposite! I-I didn’t think that you liked me back, but I wanted to tell you how I felt before I died!” She takes a deep breath, embarrassment prickling her scalp. “Which, obviously, didn’t happen…” She’s going to go to church every Sunday she has left in New Orleans and thanking God for that. “I was trying to tell you that it was real even though I thought I was dying, but I couldn’t get the words out because I-I don’t know! It’s all so…new?”

When she looks up, Jess has pursed her lips into a thin line, trying to hold in a laugh that’s spilling out. The hurt is gone, replaced by relief and some sort of humor that Lupe definitely does not feel. “You thought,” Jess starts, “that I didn’t like you?” Lupe shrugs, a little self-conscious, and Jess sticks her chin out, breaking into a grin. “Lupe, I rented a boat and packed us a nice picnic. Do you know how many ration cards it took to get that sausage and cheese? And I played my guitar? Under a full moon?”

Lupe feels her face redden. “This was a date?” she splutters.

“It wasn’t not a date, hermano,” Jess says, clapping Lupe on the back and then settling her hand on Lupe’s shoulder.

“We maybe need to rethink the ‘hermano’ thing if we’re going to keep doing this,” Lupe mutters, heat in her cheeks. She’s annoyed by how nice Jess’ hand feels there. Jess laughs again and a grin ghosts over Lupe’s mouth. She looks down. The water is a little lower than waist-height now. Lupe wriggles out of Jess’ grip, trying not to watch the way Jess’ face falls a little, and slips the guitar over her head.

She turns back to Jess, shaking the muscle fatigue out of her arms, and grins. “Look, no hands,” she says.

Jess gives her a skeptical smile. “And?” she asks.

“And now I can do this,” Lupe says back, and circles an arm around Jess’ middle. Jess laughs and leans in, kissing Lupe on the cheek as she puts her arm back where it lay moments ago. Lupe smiles and leans into her, splashing through the night.

There’s more to talk about, sure, but with this cleared up, well…

…Lupe’s going to enjoy these last few moments before they get back to shore.

-----

They heave the boat onto dry land. Everything they brought is waterlogged except the guitar and, miraculously, the motor, which Jess proclaims a victory for the night. Lupe is too tired to care much, but she’s happy that it won’t cost Jess most of what she’s made this month to replace the motor. They hide the boat in the bushes for the night as they have no way of bringing it back to the dock and hitchhike their way into New Orleans. The older couple who picks them up clucks and coos over their drowned-rat state, but also makes them sit in the bed of their pickup truck, which is fine by Lupe as it gives her an excuse to casually grab Jess’ hand. They fly back to town, moon soaked and shipwrecked, and, somehow, it’s still perfect.

It's really nice sleeping in the same bed.

It’s really nice not sleeping in the same bed.

They’re too tired to do much of anything but kiss that night, but falling asleep and waking up with Jess’ strong arms wrapped around her? Well, Lupe could get used to that.

Shrimping is different the next day, but not earth-shatteringly so. They do their jobs, they pull in shrimp, and Jess throws another crab at her. After work, they pile into George’s truck to go retrieve their boat from the night before and find it where they left it. When they bring it back to the dock, Lupe and Jess are able to argue down the man Jess rented to boat from into only charging them a small fee for replacing the patch on the boat as they were able to bring it in without damaging the motor.

And then it’s just another week of shrimping before they leave New Orleans.

Lupe does take Jess dancing at Lucille’s and it’s as good as she imagined it would be, swaying on the floor with her. If Jess was affectionate before their night on the boat, then she’s something entirely more now. Her hand is on Lupe’s arm whenever possible, tracing little patterns on the skin there. She’s quick to provide a match when Lupe pulls out a cigarette as well, or to order more beers for the two of them at the bar. She’s Jess, but more so. She embodies generosity and generosity becomes her. Lupe’s seen it many times in the time she’s known Jess, but to be fully on the receiving end of it is something else.

They run into Eddie at Lucille’s just the once, and there’s a sort of vindication to seeing her clock Jess’ arm around Lupe’s shoulder, their easy manner around each other, and especially the kiss Jess plants on her lips before heading to the bar to order beers.

“When did that happen?” Eddie asks, working her jaw, and Lupe shrugs.

“Other night. We just kind of…figured it out.”

Eddie’s eyes narrow. “She know about Celeste?”

Lupe almost snorts. Does Jess know about Celeste. “That I walked her home? Fooled around a little? Sure,” Lupe says. “She’s a great girl.” She fixes Eddie with a look. “It was before Jess and I talked though.”

Jess comes back with beers, passing one to Lupe, then Eddie, and snakes her arm around Lupe’s middle. Lupe has to resist looking too pleased, for modesty’s sake, when Eddie’s nostrils flare at the gesture.

“You wanna dance?” Lupe asks, and Jess takes a deep pull from her beer, grins, and pulls Lupe onto the dance floor.

It turns out that Jess only knows about two dance moves, but the slow sway is one of them and Lupe takes advantage of the dark floor and the crowd of bodies to pull Jess into a kiss.

The rest of the week, for as much as they try to soak up New Orleans, is a blur. Captain Williams is almost teary-eyed at their departure, sure he’ll never find sailors who do work like they do. “Or like you do,” Lupe mutters to Jess, remembering how much she had to learn on the job. Jess elbows her. He gives them each a pound of shrimp as a parting gift, so they spend their last night in New Orleans cooking in the boarding house kitchen again and eating themselves near sick. Then they head upstairs to pack and take the time to do some activities that will likely not be welcome in Esti’s cousin’s house.

They fall asleep in each other’s arms and wake up to the sun on each other’s faces. Then they get dressed in their little room for the last time and Lupe thinks of when they arrived in New Orleans. God, they’re incredibly different. They’re exactly the same. Jess washes her face in the little basin in their room, then rolls her towel into a rat tail and tags Lupe on the ass with it. Lupe rolls her eyes and smacks Jess’ arm with the back of her hand.

And then they’re leaving the boarding house with all their earthly belongings and heading to the train station. And Lupe has to fight a lump in her throat for leaving this city that, no matter how reluctantly on her part, changed her life. Then they’re boarding the train, the conductor is closing the doors, and they’re pulling out of the station. And Jess leans her shoulder against Lupe’s in a comfortable way and opens up a newspaper.

-----

“So, was shrimping everything you ever hoped it would be?” Lupe asks Jess somewhere in Mississippi.

Jess looks at her from where she’s been leaning against Lupe’s shoulder. The newspaper lays long forgotten on the seat next to her, put down in favor of watching the scenery pass by.

“Yeah,” she says. “There’s really nothing that beats life on the sea.”

Lupe frowns at her. “You’re a professional ballplayer,” she says, and Jess laughs. “I don’t know why I have to keep reminding you of that.”

“True,” Jess says. She settles her head back into its original position and looks out the window again. “What about you?” she asks. “Everything you hoped for?”

“I dunno,” Lupe says. “I mostly just followed you.”

They can’t do much on a half-filled train car, but Jess reaches an arm down and taps Lupe’s leg. “You did good though,” she says. “But I am going to teach you to swim when we reach Esti’s.”

Lupe tenses up, and Jess must be able to feel it because she sits up straight. “What is it?” she asks, leaning in closer.

Lupe blows out a breath through her cheeks. “Nothing,” she says, “just, do you think Esti will be able to tell?” She looks pointedly between them to emphasize her point.

Jess leans forward onto her knees thinking about it. “I think she notices more than we give her credit for,” she says after a moment. “She’s a smart kid.” She looks up at Lupe. “She also loves you and thinks I’m pretty alright, so.” Jess shrugs.

Lupe snorts. “Yeah, reverse that,” she says. She runs her tongue nervously over her gumline. “I just don’t want her to judge us,” she says. “Or pity us. Or think something’s wrong with us.”

Jess shrugs again. “I don’t think Esti’s like that,” she says. “Plus, she had to know something. I mean, Shirley figured it out for Christ’s sake.”

Lupe rolls her eyes. “Shirley figured it out because Greta put it down on paper for anyone to find.” Hearing about that from Maybelle had been, well, blood-chilling. Lupe had learned how to fly under the radar, to escape notice, and honestly was rarely messed with for her queerness. She passed when she needed to and she got gone when she couldn’t pass. To see Greta, who passed so well that Vivienne Hughes had offered her a job, make such an obvious mistake had frozen Lupe to her core. Sure, Greta hadn’t shouted it, but anyone could have picked up that book. And anyone did.

Jess blows out a breath, sobering. “Yeah,” she says, then lapses momentarily into silence. “Well,” she says, “Esti isn’t like that. You never heard her say anything against…” she trails off, “…right?”

Lupe shakes her head. “No,” she says, “I didn’t. It was mostly just about missing home and wishing she and the girls understood each other.”

Jess nods. “Well, then she’ll be fine. Plus,” she says, and looks over her shoulder at Lupe again, grinning and tapping her knee, “you can always just keep your hands off. She doesn’t have to know.”

Lupe smacks her hand away and says “Shh.” It’s playful, but also a reminder. They’re on a train, after all, and though they’re talking low, people can still hear them.

Jess throws her hands up in ‘Sorry,’ gesture and chuckles, then leans back in her seat, stretching out. She looks over at Lupe, mirth in her eyes. Lupe just rolls her eyes in response but smiles when she feels Jess’ foot slide against hers.

“It’ll be ok, Lu,” Jess says, “no matter if Esti finds out or not.” She lifts her foot and places it on top of Lupe’s, pressing down lightly, then moves it away.

And Lupe takes a breath and nods. Somehow, she feels it will be true. Jess picks up the newspaper beside her again and offers a section to Lupe, who declines. Lupe just watches her for a moment, tongue in her teeth as she scans the sports section, and that fondness fills her up again. She kicks Jess’ foot beside her, grins when Jess looks up at her, and places her foot lightly on top of Jess’ returning the gesture. It will be ok. If Jess is with her, she knows it will be.

#listen #sometimes you think 'jess mccready' and 'shrimp boat' in the same thought and then you write 10000 words about it #happens all the time #(seriously though I'm so psyched this is finally done! This was such a joy to write! it's 27 pages in microsoft word!)#lupe garcia #jess mccready #aloto #a league of their own #jess mccready x lupe garcia #lupe garcia x jess mccready #i don't think we've give these two a fancy ship name yet so we're sticking with this #my fanfiction #ooooooh ok ok let's post it!#shrimp boat au

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