inspired by a recent post i saw about Kevin Day holding a baby, here's Bam Bam's professional ranking of Foxes and Co. by best to worst at dealing with children:
Andrew and I am always going to stand by this. He grew up in foster care so it's entirely possible he's raised a bunch of babies in his lifetime, but I think he'd by driven by breaking the abuse cycle. if he can keep a kid safe, even if it's only one, he's going to. Andrew social worker au when? anyway. Designated Babysitter.
Laila. No clue why tbh she kinda just gives those vibes
Katelyn because she's a sweetheart. whether they're her kids or someone else's, i just feel that she's really great with them
Seth was very good with kids. babysat his younger siblings a lot, didn't really want kids, but if you gave him a baby he might not give it back
Wymack is scared of babies. The younger a child is, the more fear he has. The first time he held a baby he was like... 50-60. (bonus points if it's Kevin's kid). but he's very good with them. very gentle and sweet
Matt. golden retriever yk. idk what else to say. he's also Big and babies tend to like that. lots of sleeping room
Aaron. he thinks he'd be terrible so he stays away from them. when he and Kate start talking about having kids, his biggest fear is turning out like his mother. they do end up having kids and he is the Best Dad to ever dad
Abby is really good with kids in that she knows what to do with them in the most basic sense. when they need to be fed, how to get them to stop crying, etc, but other than that she's pretty indifferent to them
Jeremy. he's kinda lost when it comes to kids. he'll hold them for a little bit but unless they're older than six he gets bored so easily
Bee. she'll hold a baby cuz they're cute, but toddlers exhaust her. she'd rather spend her time with older kids and young adults
Renee thinks kids are cute, but doesn't really want anything to do with them. if someone asked if she wanted to hold the baby, she'd politely decline. very funny for the Foxes watching her try to interact with a child and realize that Andrew is actually better than her at something
Dan. not great with kids because she gets very impatient and doesn't want any due to some lurking childhood trauma (sometimes i give Matt and Dan kids for funsies, but realistically i don't think they'd have any)
Kevin. 😐 he's. not great. he kinda shakes a lil when he holds them, and holds them so gently that you'd think they were made of glass. he will only hold a baby if he's sitting down. with older kids, he tries to hard to be logical with them which ends up not working. to be fair, he's probably never seen a baby face to face before.
Cat. life or death situation, she could take care of a child. does she want to? no. and unfortunately i think she's one of those "kids are gross and annoying" people 😔
Nicky loves kids! he's just Very Bad with babies. if a baby even senses that Nicky is near, it starts crying. heartbreaking. this gives him the opportunity to adopt an older kid, though.
Alison doesn't care until the kid is old enough to go shopping with her. and if they start crying she's taking them home.
Neil. with Andrew's help, he does okay, but when left to his own devices he bluescreens. no, Neil, a 2 year old can not sit on the table while you do dishes.
Jean would be fantastic with kids, but they all remind him of Elodie, so it's more of a mental struggle than an actual inability to care for a child. if Andreil ever adopt, he likes to babysit
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my family went tubing down a river yesterday and there were quite a few teams/camps there so naturally I’m gonna make it about the foxes-
Dan is the one to suggest it for a team bonding activity, she’s shocked when everyone agrees
Abby brings multiple types of sunscreen and personally sprays every fox bc she knows they’ll start attacking each other with the spray
Renee buys her and Neil matching long sleeved orange rash guard tops
Wymack doesn’t let anyone get sticks (they’re used to push yourself off the bank/rocks) bc he knows there’ll be sword fights and someone will actually get hurt
Andrew hooks his and Neil’s tubes together bc he knows Neil’s hyper active ass will keep them on track and he can relax, he quickly unhooks Neil when him and Matt start splashing each other. He joins with Renee and Allison, they’re unbothered the rest of trip
Kevin tries to convince the foxes to do exercises in their tubes, Seth (he’s alive in my world) flips him (Andrew approves). Keven flips him in retaliation and they’re both stuck swimming after their tubes. Abby makes them hook their tubes together (like those get along shirts) Dan get put between them bc they start slap boxing each other, she holds their hands and they’re embarrassed
The foxes discover that Aaron is terrified of snakes when he goes under a branch where someone hung a fake snake, he leaps from his tube onto Nicky’s causing them both to flip
Neil gets put in timeout (hooked to Wymack’s tube) bc he started arguing with a random child
The twins and Seth still get burnt even with the sunblock, their stomachs/chests are RED
Dan takes so many pictures of her family, she’s never seen the twins smile/laugh so much
Abby makes them take a group photo at the end
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All for the game characters as songs but only songs from my playlist and most of it doesn’t have any reason, It’s just the bugs living on my shoulder whispering it into my ear.
Neil Josten
-Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine
-Dead Girl Walking from heathers
-That’s Life by Frank Sinatra
-Hounds Of Love by Kate Bush
-am i being followed…? By emily jeffri
Andrew Minyard
-forwards beckon rebound by Adrianne Lenkar
-Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division
-Dizzy Miss Lizzy by the Beatles
-Never Saw The Point by Cults
-I Wanna Be Your Dog by Mephisto Walz
Aaron Minyard
-emo boy by Ayesha Erotica
-Cool About It by boygenius
-William, It Was Really Nothing by The Smiths
-Nintendo 64 by Alex G
-Mama’s Boy by Dominic Fike
Nicky Hemmick
-HOT TO GO! By Chappell Roan
-I Don’t Wanna Be Funny Anymore by Lucy Dacus
-White Teeth Teens by Lorde
-Back To That Old House by The Smiths
-It’s Called: Freefall by Rainbow Kitten Suprise
Kevin Day
-Bubblegum Bitch by MARINA
-Literal Legend by Ayesha Erotica
-A Pearl by Mitski
-Army Dreamers by Kate Bush
-Me and the Devil by Soap&Skin
Renee Walker
-Big Mouth Strikes Again by The Smiths
-Ptolemaea by Ethel Cain
-Good Looking by Suki Waterhouse
-P.U.N.K Girl by Heavenly
-Just A Girl by Florence + The Machine
Allison Reynolds
-Maneater by Nelly Furtado
-Good Luck, Babe! Chappell Roan
-all-american bitch by Olivia Rodrigo
-Paper Bag by Fiona Apple
-Funnel Of Love by Wanda Jackson
Seth Gordon
-Silver Soul by Beach House
-The Killing Moon by Echo & The Bunnymen
-Lights Out by Mindless Self Indulgence
-Breathing by Kate Bush
-Climbing Up The Walls by Radiohead
Matt Boyd
-Rollin’ by Limp Bizkit
-This Charming Man by The Smiths
-My Hero by Foo Fighters
-The Great Big Gig In The Sky by Pink Floyd
-Sweet Child O’ Mine by Guns N’ Roses
Dan Wilds
-Rue by girl in red
-Lovers Rock by TV Girl
-Girl Anachronism
-Christian Woman by Type O Negative
-Limp by Fiona Apple
Jeremy Knox
-Destroyed By Hippie Powers by Car Seat Headrest
-Heroes by David Bowie
-Jigsaw Falling Into Place by Radiohead
-The Perfect Girl by Mareux
-Starman by David Bowie
Jean Moreau
-insomniac by Memo Boy, Chakra Efendi
-Fireworks by Mitski
-Stupid MF by Mindless Self Indulgence
-The Murder Mystery by The Velvet Underground
-Down By The Water by PJ Harvey
Laila Dermott
-Howl by Florence + The Machine
-White Teeth Teens by Lorde
-Call Me by Blondie
-Bored by Laufey
-Mirror by The Last Dinner Party
Catalina Alvarez
-Burn Alive by The Last Dinner Party
-Shut Up And Drive by Rihanna
-Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen
-Hey Jude by The Beatles
-Pools by Glass Animals
Katelyn Mckensie
-Oh! You Pretty Things by David Bowie
-My Kind Of Woman by Mac DeMarco
-Valerie by TV Girl
-Good Vibrations by The Beach Boys
-Oh Woman, Oh Why by Paul and Linda McCartney
Cody Winter
-Exceptionally Sadistic by Monument Of Misanthropy
-Bullet With Butterfly Wings by The Smashing Pumkins
-It’s Only Sex by Car Seat Headrest
-Buried Alive by Radio Werewolf
-Chop Suey! By System Of A Down
Also I’m super cool and hip and cool so this is my playlists
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AFTG Secret Snowflake
A fan event open to anyone wanting to create and receive gifts from other fans. When signups begin everyone participating will fill out a form with what they are interesting in gifting and what they are interested in being gifted. You will then be assigned a secret snowflake to create a gift for. Throughout the creation period you are encouraged to interact with your secret snowflake by sending them anons. Whether that’s to figure out what you want to create for them or to simply get to know them I highly encourage everyone to interact with their secret snowflake at least once. To be gifted something you must create a gift yourself. Anon must be on for all participants. Posting will begin in December where you will reveal who your secret snowflake was.
signups: August 25th - September 14th
secret snowflake assignment: September 30th at the latest
brainstorming & creation period: October - November
posting: December 1st - December 31st
any questions? send me an ask or dm here!
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