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xxchumanixx · 7 months

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Break it again

Thomas Magnum x reader

He broke your heart once - will he do it again?

Warnings: hurt, angst, fluff, comfort, reader has a broken heart

Word count: 4.659

Authors Note: Heya! I'm watching Magnum P.I. at the moment and I really love that guy ugh... I wish I could hire him to keep me company, I swear I'd just stare at him all day long. Now I have to wait for season 5 to air in Germany...

Anyways, have fun!

"No way!" TC mumbled to himself when you entered the bar, gathering Rick's attention. "Huh?" he hummed, following his friend's line of sight.

"No way!" he repeated TC's words, when his gaze landed on you as well; eyes widening in shock.

Your eyes scanned the small crowd gathered at La Mariana, before they landed on the bar to your right.

You couldn't believe your eyes as your mouth slowly opened in disbelief. Huffing you smiled, walking towards Rick and TC.

"Y/N!" the boys said in unison, grinning at you. "Where have you been?" TC wanted to know, engulfing you in a bone crushing hug.

Still smiling you hugged him back, ignoring the ache in your heart at his question.

He didn't need to know where you have been or why you left in the first place.

Even when they most likely knew anyways.

Rick rounded the bar, before he snatched you from TC's arms to hug you as well.

They used to be your family, your best friends.

But that was three years ago.

You still loved them, though - even when you had left them without properly saying goodbye back then.

Which made you wonder why they weren't angry at you, but instead were happy to see you.

"It's been what - four years?" Rick said when he let go of you. TC's brows lifted, as he shook his head. "It's been three." he corrected him.

"Feels like an eternity." Rick gave back, shaking his head as well.

His hand landed on your shoulder and he grinned. "Damn, we've missed you." he said, shaking his head again.

Then his eyes widened and he let go of you, stepping behind the bar and gesturing around him.

"What do you say?" he wanted to know, sounding proud.

Your eyes widened and you looked at him in shock.

"Wait, the La Mariana is yours?" you asked in disbelief, as a grin stretched your lips. "Actually, it's ours." TC chimed in, chuckling to himself. "We bought it a while ago, but Rick manages everything."

"Wow." you breathed, taking a look around you. "It's beautiful!"

Rick smiled. "Thank you." he said, wiping his hands on a towel. "It's been a hell of a ride, but we're very proud of it."

You nodded, feeling excited for them.

"Want something to drink?" Rick asked, tilting his head questioningly. You contemplated for a moment. "Surprise me." you then told him smiling.

He chuckled before he went to grab a glass, as he froze in his movement, his smile suddenly gone.

He was staring at a point behind you, and as TC sighed, you turned around to see what they were seeing.

Thomas Magnum.

"Oh." you made, staring at the man who once broke your heart.

The one who drove you away three years ago.

He didn't see you at first, talking to a blonde woman who was walking beside him. She was beautiful and you felt how you became jealous of her.

No, stop it. you warned yourself. Don't.

His eyes looked up a few steps away and landed on you, causing him to stop dead in his tracks, mouth open.

You bit on the inside of your cheek, chewing at the sensitive flesh.

You should have known he would appear sooner or later - where Rick and TC were, Thomas wasn't far.

Turning back around you tried to calm your racing heart, hands sweating.

"I need that drink, now." you told Rick, pressing your lips together. "Please."

Rick nodded silently, pouring you some bourbon, before sliding the glass over to you.

Your hands gripped it shakily, before you downed the shot, grimacing at the burning sensation in your throat.

But you needed it.

Then you turned back around, plastering a fake smile on your face.

"Thomas." you greeted him, trying to conceal your feelings, keep them in check. You didn't need him to know that your heart was still in pieces.

He needed a moment to respond, shaking the shock off and offering you a hesitant smile.

"Y/N." he gave back, swallowing. "Hey."

The woman beside him watched your interaction with furrowed brows, clearly confused.

"I'm Y/N Y/L/N." you introduced yourself, holding out your hand for her to shake. "Juliett Higgins." she gave back, shaking your hand. "Nice to meet you."

Nodding you looked back at Thomas. He didn't seem comfortable, and it satisfied you somehow.

You didn't feel comfortable either, when you left because of him.

It became silent for a moment, before Thomas cleared his throat awkwardly and faced TC.

"We need your help." he told him, biting his cheek. "Our client went on a hike in the mountains and she's missing since this morning. Could you fly up there and look for her? Please?"

Your brows knitted together.

Client? That meant he was still active as a private investigator, which meant he must've been pretty successful in doing so, when they still hired him.

Was Juliett his partner then?

TC nodded, looking your way for a split second, before he cleared his throat. "Sure."

Thomas thanked him, before he faced Juliett. "I'm gonna look after Gordon's tip about her ex boyfriend." he told her, avoiding to look at you. "Okay, then I will check her bank account and GPS." she gave back, nodding.

Then she looked at you, tilting her head.

"May I ask where you're from?" she wanted to know, eyes wandering towards Thomas, before looking back at you. "I believe I haven't seen you here before."

You nodded biting your cheek. "I live here." you told her, avoiding the others questioning looks. "Just moved back. Have been gone for a while, after I couldn't stand being here any longer. Personal reasons."

Thomas inhaled sharply, and you swallowed.

You intended to bite, and so you did.

Though it seemed to hurt you as well.

Juliett nodded, seeming pleased with your answer. "Where do you know the others from?" she asked further. "They've never mentioned you."

Ouch, that hurt.

Biting on the inside of your lip you contemplated your answer.

"She's like a sister to us." TC responded for you and you sighed inwardly in relief. "We met after we moved here."

Even though you were a few years younger than them, it had instantly clicked back then.

Julietts brows furrowed, but she just nodded.

She was probably wondering why Thomas and the others never mentioned you before.

Clearing your throat awkwardly you pulled out your wallet, handing Rick some money.

"Oh, no, no." he said, pushing your hand holding the money back. "It's on the house." He sent you a smile and you returned it. "Thank you." He just nodded and put your glass away.

"Well, then..." you said, looking back at the others, your gaze eventually landing on Thomas. He was already looking at you, irritation clear on his face, as his intense stare sent shivers down your spine.

He still had that effect on you, even after not seeing him for three years.

"Was nice to meet you all." With that you walked past them, biting your lip when you heard Thomas, though. He wanted to say something, but stopped himself, before he even really voiced anything.

Your steps faltered, but you continued on, swallowing.

You needed to be as far away from him as possible on Hawaii.

The waves crashed against the stones at the beach, calming you down a little. The wind brushed through your hair and you finally felt at home again.

When you left Hawaii you instantly missed it.

The waves, the weather, the air and the beach. You missed it all, causing you to come back after three years.

Maybe you had hoped he would've been gone by now, moved to another city, but somewhere you also hoped he hadn't.

Now you weren't sure what to think at all. Or what to feel, for that matter.

Someone cleared their throat behind you, snapping you out of your thoughts as you turned around.

You wished you hadn't.

Barely holding back from rolling your eyes you turned back around, continuing to watch the waves.

"Y/N." he said, stepping beside you as he tried to gather your attention. "Can we talk?"

Huffing you shook your head.

"About what?" you asked, still not looking at him. "What could possibly be of interest for you to talk about?"

He sighed, putting his hands in his pockets. "You know what I wanna talk about, Y/N." he spoke, still looking at you.

"There's nothing to talk about, TC." you responded, already feeling bad for getting angry at him.

"I know why you left." he said. "But when you're gonna continue being angry at him, this won't work."

"Im not angry." you shot back, finally looking at him whilst crossing your arms above your chest.

"Yes you are." he returned, shaking his head. "You forget that I can read you like an open book, Y/N. He never said anything, but we know what happened. What I don't get is why you never talked to us, but instead left without a word."

Rolling your eyes you bit on your cheek, as the memory of him breaking your heart Colin Bridgerton style flooded your mind.

"Nah, never." you heard Thomas say, chuckling uneasily.

You knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but you just couldn't help yourself. Drinks in hand you waited for them to continue around the corner.

"Why not?" Rick asked, sounding confused. "She's funny, smart and beautiful. She's all you could possibly want, Thomas. Still you don't want her. Why?"

Thomas sighed, needing a moment to answer.

"I would never date her." he then said and you felt your heart become heavy. Where they talking about you?

God, you hoped not.

"But-" TC started, but Thomas cut him off. "No, guys." he said, most likely shaking his head. "I don't love her like that. I would never date Y/N. I couldn't."

You felt the tears pricking at your eyes, blinking rapidly as you tried to push them back.

Your heart crushed, as Thomas ripped it from your chest and stomped on it.

He didn't love you - not like that.

The drinks almost slipped from your grasp, as you tried gathering yourself, before making your way back into the living room.

"He broke your heart." TC spoke, ripping you out of your thoughts. "And I get that you're angry and that you're not willing to forgive him just yet, but you have to at least try. If not for him, then for yourself."

You sniffed, wiping at your eyes in an attempt to stop the tears that threatened to spill.

"If you want to live here you will have to see him from time to time." he continued. "Especially if you want to visit us at La Mariana. I expect you to become a regular, by the way."

You chuckled through the tears, smiling a little.

"Who would pay your bills if not me?" you joked, looking at him. He chuckled, shaking his head. "That's what I'm talkin' about."

You stared at each other in silence for a second, before he hugged you. "C'mere." he said, pulling you into his arms.

Yours wrapped around his middle with your face against his shoulder.

"I meant what I said. You're like a sister to Rick and me. When you left, you broke our hearts. We just settled here and I just started Island Hoppers. I could've used some help, Y/N." he continued.

The tears spilled at his words and you did your best not to sob.

"I didn't want to go." you told him, sniffing. "But I had to. I loved him and he broke my heart. I couldn't be near him, but being with you and Rick meant that he would be there as well. It would have been inevitable so I left."

He shook his head, before he let go of you.

"Let's go back to La Mariana and get you something to drink." he suggested. "Rick's worried that you'll leave again."

Your eyes rolled playfully, head shaking. "No." you said. "I'm not going to leave you again. I will just avoid Thomas, or..." you paused, not sure about it.

"Or you'll talk to him." TC finished for you. "Yeah..." you mumbled, starting to follow him back to the street. "Something like that."

When you got back to La Mariana, Rick rushed to you and pulled you into his arms.

"Thank god." he mumbled and you chuckled at his reaction. "I thought he would have caused you to flee again."

"No, not this time." you told him, head shaking, as he let go of you. "Nor ever again. I've missed you guys and Hawaii too much and I'm not gonna let him ruin this again. I should have never left in the first place." You mumbled the last part, looking over at TC.

He smiled, bowing his head slightly.

Rick then walked you towards a table, handing you the menu. "Whatever you want, it's for free tonight." he told you, smiling down at you.

You felt the tears prick at your eyes as you nodded gratefully. "Thank you." you said, smiling back. He nodded, patting your shoulder, before he and TC went to the bar.

You looked over the menu, deciding what to eat, when someone sat down across from you.

Not looking up you sighed. "Yes, TC?" you asked, contemplating between nuggets and fish.

The person across from you cleared their throat and your heart missed a beat.

That was not TC.

Putting the menu down on the table you looked up. "What do you want, Thomas?"

He cleared his throat again, sliding uncomfortably on the bench.

"We need to talk." he finally said, avoiding eye contact. "And what should we talk about?" you wanted to know, biting your cheek as anger bubbled up. "About the fact that I left because of you, or that I should leave again? Because that's not gonna happen."

He flinched at your words and bit his lip.

"No." he then said, shaking his head with his eyes glued to the table. "No, I should start by apologizing to you."

Your eyes widened. The Thomas Magnum wanted to apologize?

When you didn't say anything he looked up, his eyes meeting yours.

"What I said was wrong." he started, swallowing. It must've been really hard for him to apologize. "I never meant to hurt you, please believe me Y/N. When Rick and TC asked about you, I-" he cut himself off, wiping across his face with his hand.

He stared down on the table again and your brows furrowed.

"I panicked." he then said, shaking his head lost in thought. "I thought that because we were so close friends, that you'd never even consider dating me. So I said the same, never even considering that you would hear me."

"But I did." you told him, huffing. "I did and it broke me. It made me leave - something I never wished to do in the first place."

You heard him swallow again, as he bit his lip, nodding. His eyes seemed to glisten - but then it could have just been the light above you.

"I know." he said, sighing deeply. "And I blame myself for it. There's not one day that I don't feel guilty for what I did to you. I never told Rick and TC, but they surely know."

You nodded, fiddling with the edge of the menu.

"They do."

Nodding he brushed over his chin. "Yeah, I figured." he almost whispered.

It was silent for a moment, as neither of you knew what to say.

"Listen, I wish I could undo what I did, but I can't. I shouldn't have said what I said... I'm sorry for what happened and I hope you can forgive me some day." he spoke, looking at you with what seemed to be hope in his eyes.

Your breathing hitched as your heart pumped faster. Did he really mean what he said?

"Truth is, that I-" he cut himself off again, and his teeth grit. He was silent for a moment, as his eyes nervously switched from one point to another, wandering through the room.

"I lied."

Your brain seemed to come to an abrupt halt.

He did what?

"What are you talking about?" you wanted to know, clearing your throat as you noticed just how dry it had become. Was he doing this on purpose?

He breathed in shakily, wiping his hands on his legs, before he suddenly seemed to lose his patience.

"I lied, Y/N." he pressed, looking back at you. "I told them that I would never date you and that I wouldn't love you like that - it was a lie!"

Your heart seemed to shatter for the second time, as his words broke it again.

Mouth agape you felt your eyes sting. Was he messing with you?

He had to, right?

"What?" you managed to breathe out, noticing how your entire body began to shake in anger and disbelief. A tear managed to spill from your eye, but you didn't care.

"Are you telling me, that you loved me and even when I went away - because of you - you didn't tell me?"

His breathing hitched and he seemed to understand just how big his mistake really was. Swallowing he looked away, eyes watering.

"You could have stopped me - could have had me - but you chose to let me go with a broken heart?" you almost yelled at him, causing Rick and TC to nervously look your way.

"Do you know just how much I suffered, because of you?" Now you were yelling at him, as you stood up, looking down at him, as some of the customers turned your way as well. "No, Thomas, you don't know. You only care about yourself - So don't tell me that you loved me! Because clearly you didn't!"

Making your way past Rick and TC, who walked over to your table, Rick tried to stop you. "Y/N-" he spoke, grabbing your arm, but you freed yourself, walking past him and out of La Mariana.

You couldn't believe him. How could he do this to you?

The tears now fell freely, as you made your way to your car. Leaning against it you slid down, sitting on the ground as you lost control over your feelings.

Crying you buried your face in your knees, sobbing and shaking.

All this time he let you believe that he didn't love you, that he would never do so. All this time you suffered because of a lie.

The realization of him loving you didn't make you happy, as you had imagined so many times before. It made you angry and even more sad, knowing that he had let you live in the dark for so long.

You didn't know what to feel, besides the emptiness that slowly overtook your whole body.

You felt numb.

The tears subsided after some time, but the pain was still there. Your heart ached so badly you were scared you would actually die of a broken heart.

You heard steps coming your way, before someone crouched down before you.

Even though it was already dawn, you could clearly see that it was Rick.

"Hey." he spoke softly, grimacing at your tear stained face.

"I wanna be alone, Rick." you told him, sniffing, but he shook his head.

"Forget it." he gave back, sitting down beside you. One of his arms wrapped around your shoulders and he pulled you towards him.

The smell of his familiar cologne calmed you down a little.

"Thomas is an idiot." he quietly said, his fingers brushing over your arm. "Only he could fuck up this badly."

A bitter chuckle made its way through your lips, as you nodded. "Yeah, that's exactly like him to fuck up." you spoke.

It was silent for a while, as you both were lost in thought.

"We tried to convince him to be honest about it." he eventually spoke up. "We were so sure about his feelings for you, but he denied them. Even when you were gone, he didn't change his opinion. If he would have been honest from the start, he could have stopped you. After you left, he wasn't himself for a couple weeks. But he was ashamed, was so sure you wouldn't talk to him, so he eventually accepted it instead of talking to you."

Shaking your head you bit your lip, to stop another wave of tears from falling.

"If he would have been honest, I would have forgiven him." you gave back, clearing your throat. "We could have been happy."

Rick contemplated for a moment, scratching his chin.

"You still can be." he then said, causing you to sit upright and stare at him in confusion.

"What do you mean?" you wanted to know, brows furrowed. "I mean that his feelings for you never changed." he gave back. "His face when you stormed out the bar proves my theory."

Shaking your head you looked away. "If anything, it's a theory." you said, not believing his words.

He sighed, turning your head back to him with two fingers.

"If I know one thing, than it's that two of my best friends - my ohana - are in love." he explained, looking you in the eye. "And this is your only chance to talk about it and get it right. To not lose that opportunity again."

You stared back at him, swallowing. If he was right, than this was your only chance.

But were you ready to forgive Thomas? Were you ready to waste another few years with a broken heart, if not?

Before you could decide, TC walked out with Thomas in tow. Swallowing you stood, Rick following you.

Rick and TC nodded towards one another, before they left you and Thomas alone.

Breathing in deeply you tried to calm yourself down.

If you were going to talk to him, you didn't need to let the entire neighborhood and customers be part of it by yelling at Thomas.

It was silent, as you stared at one another without uttering a single word. Biting your lip you decided to start if he wouldn't do it himself.

"Did you suffer?" you wanted to know, biting your cheek. He looked away for a split second, before nodding once. "Yes." he answered, swallowing. "But I believe you suffered even more than I did."

Huffing you nodded. "Yes, Thomas." you replied, crossing your arms above your chest. "I did. In fact I suffered so badly, that for three years I didn't let any man get near me out of fear that the same thing would happen that happened with you."

He swallowed again, before he took a step closer.

"Y/N - I'm so sorry for what I did to you." he apologized again, looking sincere. "I'm so sorry and I don't know what I should do to make you believe me, to make you forgive me someday."

Shaking your head you felt your eyes beginning to burn again. You were going in circles with this.

"What are we doing here?" you asked, looking away from him, suddenly feeling defeated and tired. "I mean, what are we doing? You broke my heart and now you broke it again. What makes you believe we can actually fix this?"

"Do you still love me?" he asked, instead of answering you. His question stole your breath, causing your gaze to snap back to his.

"What?" you gave back, brows furrowed.

"Do you still love me?" he repeated his question, still looking at you. He really wanted an answer to it.

Breathing heavily you stared back at him, speechless. Why did he want to know that?

"What if I do?" you finally answered, having trouble to keep up the eye contact. Your voice was smaller than before.

"Then I'll tell you, that I still love you, too." he responded, taking another step closer. "Because I do. And I want to fix this so we can finally be together."

You couldn't stop the tears anymore, as you bit your lip. Did he really want this?

"Yes, Thomas." you spoke, swallowing. "Yes, I do. But how am I supposed to forget what happened? Because I can't."

He nodded, looking away for a split second. "Then don't." he said, looking back up at you. "Don't and we'll take it as en example how not to do it. Let us prove that we're stronger than this."

Shaking your head you wiped your tears away.

"I really want to, Thomas. But... why didn't you talk to me sooner? Why didn't you tell me the truth when I left?"

Biting his cheek he wiped his face with his hand.

"I was scared." he spoke, shaking his head as well. "I really wanted to, but I was scared you wouldn't believe me. I pushed it further and further away until it was too late. And I hate myself for it, believe me. I do."

"I would have forgiven you, you know?" you told him, taking a shaky step towards him. "I really hoped things would take a turn, that you would call or something - but after a few months my hope vanished. I thought the only solution was to go, but that meant that I had to leave my ohana as well. All because of you."

He nodded, sighing shakily.

"I know." he spoke. "But I'm willing to do anything to gain back your trust - and your love. Whatever it takes."

Another wave of tears streamed down your face and he stepped forward, his fingers hesitantly brushing the tears away.

"Please tell me that you want this as much as I do." he whispered, looking you in the eyes. His pupils were dilated, making his brown eyes almost seem black.

"I do." you gave back, as his hand cupped your cheek and your head leaned towards it. "I really do."

Your heart raced, and you felt how you became warmer. Ignoring what happened and what led to this situation, you somehow felt like a teenager that just confessed to its crush.

He breathed a breath of relieve, smiling hesitantly.

Something inside you convinced you to forgive him - then and there. Forgive him for breaking your heart and stealing you three years that could have been wonderful.

And so you did.

"I forgive you." you mumbled, eying his lips that seemed so close, yet so far away.

His brows shot high, as he couldn't believe what you were saying.

"What?" he mumbled back, confusion clear on his handsome face. "I forgive you." you repeated, a small smile stretching your lips. "If we want to do this, I'll have to start by accepting your apology and forgiving you."

He blinked a few times as if trying to understand what you just said, before he started to smile.

"Oh, thank god." he mumbled, before his lips finally met yours.

Kissing him for the first time felt like a dream come true - which it was.

As you kissed him back your hands wrapped around his neck, his wandering to your hips and the back of your head.

Fireworks spread through your body, leaving goosebumps and tingles in their wake.

It felt right, as all the troubles of the past three years fell off your shoulders. As he kissed the pain away, he somehow stitched your heart back together along the way.

When your lips left his you stared each other in the eyes, breathing heavily. His pupils were blown, and so must have been yours.

"I love you, Y/N Y/L/N." he confessed, as his fingers brushed some stray hair from your face.

"I love you too, Thomas Magnum." you confessed in return, a giddy feeling making its way up to the surface.

"Let's do this together then." he spoke, smiling down at you. "Yeah." you gave back, biting your lip. "Let's do it."

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