#make sure what I’m writing isn’t useless and just to fill paper lol

[fenharel-babe]

Fandom….can anybody do my the favor of reading my draft of my new chapter of my fic (ya know the one) bc I need to see if it makes sense and flows naturally. I need some idea bouncing help😭.

[flydotnet]

Once More, From the Top

WHUMPTOBER 2023, DAY 16: “Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” Gurney | Flatline | “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

I've been in an oddly JunYayo mood, lately, for a reason I can't quite pin down. I mean, you know I had to write Misugi for the "Flatline" prompt, but it's not just that, I think. I've been on a

At first, this was going to be a TCEU thing, but on top of that being a giant-ass spoiler, I didn't want to do it like Takahashi and make Yayoi a vulnerable, squishy thing - so I rewrote RS instead. Oh, also, I made it make more sense because, for as hilarious as ch94, it's kind of a scandal how stupid it is lol

And yes, it's a triple treat, because why not! All prompts fit the idea, so I went ahead, even if they're all pretty figurative, in the end.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Once More, From the Top

Summary: Yayoi's boyfriend goes into cardiac arrest and it's about to be more than just his problem.

Fandom: Captain Tsubasa (but I made the female character less of a useless object! Yay women!!)

Word Count: 1.3K words

AO3 version available here.

CW for discussion of near-death experiences.

---------------------------------------------------------------

It happened again.

Even from the audience, so much higher than the grass this all happened on, she knows what’s happened already. It comes to her as nothing more than a sad expectation come true: once more, before her eyes, the man she loves is undergoing cardiac arrest. A shot to the chest and he came down, folding like a piece of paper.

It’s disheartening how familiar the sound of a flatline is, to her, even as a nurse. It’s in fact such a common sound for her to hear that, even now, even through the fervour and shock of a packed stadium, she can hear it ring inside her ears.

It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, because it always does, it always will – but it stopped shocking her a long, long time ago.

From the audience, all she can do is helplessly watching the paramedics rush to the inside of the field, all the while the match has come to a screeching halt. This isn’t the first time this has happened throughout this match, and it’s not even the first emergency that has come up – yet it’s the one that turns her blood to ice.

Of course, this could be because she’s in love with Japan’s number 14, she won’t exclude that; but the medical professional in her is also speaking. When Schneider accidentally ripped into his old friend’s back, Jun immediately jumped into action and did what he could to get the situation under control. It was reassuring to watch him jump through the motions and follow all procedures she’d have, without fail, without a single delay.

But now, Jun’s the one who’d need such help. A team is made out of people with all sorts of different skillsets.

The shrill of the flatline keeps ringing, so loud she can barely hear Yoshiko above it, no matter how close they physically are – Yayoi’s eyes are on the field and that’s all there is to it.

Her legs ache for her to move. The girlfriend wishing for a proposal is itching to help the one she holds the closest to her own heart, to make sure he’s all right or will be all right, to care for him until he can get back up on his feet. The nurse with an iron dedication to her work, meanwhile, is seeing a patient in need, in a critical situation even, and all of the hairs on her arms are risen.

They’re on the case, of course, she realizes as much; but the sight, even from far away, of him on a gurney, transported who knows where, is sickening. She doesn’t which part of her identity it sickens, and at this point, they’re so intertwined it doesn’t matter. All she wants is to make sure everything will be all right.

So, with a heart filled with all sorts of emotions and duties, her feet move for her.

“Move out of the way, please, I’m a nurse!” She screams in what she can guess is slightly broken English as she makes her way to the sight of the incident, relieved to have her licence tucked inside her purse.

---------------------------------------------------------------

A hospital is never calm, she’s come to learn with the years and the internships. There’s always a beep there, a ring here, someone running, someone crying. It’s a place of happy endings, bittersweet beginnings and, at times, tragic endings.

It’s a place where, sometimes, you can’t follow the ones you love. The doors here are some of the heaviest you’ve ever seen. It may be on you, it may be on the place you’re going to. Sometimes, things just don’t go your way and you can’t do anything about it. Life’s unfair and that’s it.

She’s seen death with her very eyes, heard screams and wailing and the shrill of the monitor flatlining, touched warm corpses with too thin of a glove not to shiver the first time it happened. She’s been to the morgue before, although never alone, never for someone she personally knew.

She’s been lucky, so far, and her luck hasn’t given up on her yet, it’d seem.

She lets a Spanish doctor guide her to a bedroom, in silence, listening to all he has to say. The case was tricky, and the patient surely had a near-death experience – but that’s all it came down to, a near-death experience. Jun’s not dead yet. He made it, once more. Maybe he’ll never die from his illness, at this point, who knows?

She said she was his wife, when asked about her relation to him. Despite the lack of a ring on both of her hands, they believed her, perhaps because it made sense that the Japanese lady was married to the Japanese man who wore a matching shirt to her when he arrived there. It’s convenient. She wishes it was true.

It’s not surprising that, when she arrives, he’s already awake and waving at her. It’s weak, slow and painful to him, his smile is both genuine and tainted with agony. There’s an IV of painkillers right into his arm – into his wrist – and… it’s still so familiar. It’s still happened before, so why is she still shaken? She’s seen people in direr states than Jun is right before her eyes.

Maybe that’s what he wants her never to live. Maybe that’s why he won’t marry her, like they’ve talked about before.

That pain seems small, though, in comparison to what they could have.

She walks to the bed, picks a chair, sits down by his side. Holds his hand, as she’s done so many times before. It’s a routine, almost a ritual. She doesn’t know if it’s comfort or an ever-repeating cycle of unhappiness.

“Good afternoon,” he greets her with a smile just as shaky as his arms.

“Good afternoon to you too,” she replies with just as much tenderness. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest. Tired, maybe sore.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“You didn’t stay for the rest of the match?”

“No, I… wouldn’t have been able to focus on it, if I had stayed there.” She shakes her head before her voice gets too thick. “We won, though.”

“Oh, that’s good,” he sighs in beyond obvious relief. “Is everything fine? You look shaken.” He looks down almost right after. “Though I guess why doesn’t take rocket science to guess….”

She giggles, but it sounds heartbroken.

“Please don’t go where I can’t follow, Jun,” she lays it bare. “I’m afraid, one day, you’ll just… leave, and never come back.”

He stares back with sympathy, before his eyes look sideway, then back at her. It’s like he can’t even look at her in the eyes but forces himself to anyway; for her good, she’d suppose.

“I’m sorry,” he tells her, his voice just as defeated. “I didn’t see it coming. I’m sorry you had to see that... once again.”

“It’s… It’s fine, I think. Once I’m over the shock again, and once I see you back on your feet. It always gets better.”

“You’re right to be concerned if it one day isn’t,” he tells her, all pretence of happiness dropped, his available hand on his chest. “Neither you nor I can know if, one day, it won’t be enough to finally kill me.”

The question drops like a stone in a pond.

“If you win, can I marry you?”

It’s not pretty, and it causes him to gasp, but it’ll do. Can’t take back her words, can’t hide how she feels.

“What?”

“I’m… used to this. I know how painful it is for you, but also for me… and I’m ready. I think it’s worth putting up with.”

“Yayoi, I…” He nods, his eyes finally regaining some of their diamond spark. “If Japan wins this competition, you can marry me.”

He hands her his pinkie, and for how childish it is, she goes along with it.

“I’ll take us to our word.”

[glassnightfury]

Sorry 65 and 66 no 55 or 56 lol

“You’re strangely nonchalant for someone who almost died a minute ago.”

“Help me find my shirt” “‘You know, as much as I want to…I don’t want to.”

“It hurts to see you cry.”

This is pretty much in the category I like to call “Whump with a Heart of Gold”

Another Place 

Hiccup is bad at one-night stands. The last time he tried it he ended up in a relationship for two years. It isn’t his choice to go to the only nightclub in Berk, but he goes there anyway at Snotlout’s insistence. It’s Snotlout that points out the blonde at the bar, but it’s Hiccup who offers to buy Astrid a drink. An Old Fashioned, and Hiccup feels that name in his chest when she looks at him.

“So,” she says, “one-night stand, right? Forget your ex.” Her electric blue eyes tear him apart from the inside

“Uh,” Hiccup responds.

“It’s written all over your—” she finishes with a flourish of her finger.

“You just gestured to all of me,” he says.

Astrid nods solemnly.

“Your place?” she asks.

“Seriously?”

“I also have an ex.”

////

After the second round, Astrid finds a bag of pistachios.

“Gotta keep your energy up,” she explains around a mouthful, even though he doesn’t ask. “Look at you, big spender. Springing for the unshelled.”

“I was going to make ice cream,” Hiccup says, stealing a handful.

“But instead you keep them on your bedside table.” She shoves more in her mouth, and it’s oddly charming.

“What can I say?” he laments. “I’m weak.” Astrid puts the bag back on his nightstand and claps her hands too loudly.

“Alright, I’m ready,” she says. “Let’s go.” Hiccup laughs.

“Remind me to buy you pancakes tomorrow,” he says. Instead of answering, she climbs on top of him and kisses all thoughts of later out of his head.

////

“Help me find my shirt,” Astrid says, hands on her hips. Her skirt hangs off her body strangely. Hiccup thinks it might be inside out. He’s well past pretending to look at his phone, and he’s just openly watching her now.

“You know as much as I want to… I really don’t want to,” he says. Astrid throws his pants from last night at his face.

“I was promised pancakes,” she huffs. “This is the thanks I get for rocking your world last night? And this morning?” Hiccup snorts.

“Just take one of mine,” he says.

////

He regrets it. She picks his favorite shirt, and she looks too good in it. She fixes her skirt before they leave.

Somehow, she looks even better in the soft sunny glow of Eggstravagance than she did in the strobe lights. The pancakes are bigger than their heads with bananas and strawberries and powdered sugar on top. Hiccup can feel himself fucking up his one-night stand in his hand as she pours the syrup.

He thinks he might want to fuck it up.

////

Ostensibly, they’re on their way back to his apartment to look for her shirt, but they’re both walking at a snail’s pace. The SUV runs a red light and spins out without warning. There’s pain everywhere, but his leg explodes.

////

“I think I’m too hungover for this,” Hiccup says in the ambulance, whatever drugs the paramedics are giving him already turning his brain to pudding.

“You’re strangely nonchalant for someone who almost died a minute ago,” Astrid responds, and she’s holding his hand.

“Still hungover,” he mumbles as his eyes close

////

It’s dark when he wakes up again. A steady breeze of too-fresh air pumps at his face from the mask on his face. The drugs still pull him down toward unconsciousness. Past the machines he can see a giant of a man in a chair, his arms crossed and his mouth wide open in sleep. Next to Hiccup’s father sits a woman with her legs curled up to her chest and her head cradled on her hands. Darkness obscures any distinguishing features.

For half a second, he thinks she’s his ex, but with the way they’d imploded there’s no way she’d ever visit him. Even in the hospital. A light flickers against the white-gold of her hair, and it could only be Astrid.

Hiccup doesn’t remember hitting his head, but he thinks he must have if he’s seeing her here. He lets the drugs pull him back under.

////

There’s someone else in the room. Hiccup cracks an eyelid. His eyes don’t feel as tired as they did before, but there’s still a weight to his bones that there wasn’t before.

“Unfortunately, if he keeps his leg—” the doctor starts.

“He’s awake,” Astrid interrupts, and that is definitely Astrid. He wasn’t hallucinating.

“Hiccup,” his dad booms, and it echoes off the walls.

“I’m not deaf, Dad,” Hiccup croaks. A flashlight shines in his eyes, and he recoils. He hears the scribble of pen on paper.

“If you’re concussed, it’s minor,” the doctor says.

“My leg hurts,” Hiccup responds.

“That would be where you were pinned under the vehicle.” The doctor writes more on his notepad. “Unfortunately, it did quite a bit of damage. I was just explaining it to your wife and father, but I’ll start over.”

////

The doctor’s words weigh Hiccup down into the thin hospital pillow. Hiccup’s dad leaves to ‘get coffee’, and Hiccup knows he’s going to find a place to have emotions in peace. Astrid still guards her post.

“So,” he slurs, “you’re my wife now?” His smile feels forced and empty, but it’s better than nothing. Astrid’s cheeks flush furiously red.

“They weren’t going to let me go with you on the ambulance,” she explains. “It spiraled from there.”

“Right, right,” he responds. His smile feels a bit more genuine now.

“I didn’t want you to be alone. Not after—” Her voice goes thick until it stops completely in her throat, and water starts to collect in the corners of her eyes. Hiccup wiggles himself to sit up as best he can.

“Hey, don’t cry,” he says. “It actually physically hurts to see you cry.”

“No, I’m okay.” She tilts her head back and dabs at her eyes with a finger. “I’m fine. It’s just. You saved me from that stupid guy and his stupid car, and this is what you get for it.” She gestures to the agonizing skin bag filled with bones.

“Oh, no,” he says. “Don’t worry about my leg. It’s useless.”

Astrid lets out a sharp laugh.

“Seriously. The left one was totally unaccomplished. The right? Brilliant. Prodigious. The left? Total garbage.” He can feel himself overdoing it, but even with some of the drugs wearing off a bit, his mouth is faster than his foggy brain. And Astrid is laughing. “Besides, my dad is definitely gonna either sue that guy to death or straight up kill him. I’ll get a dog. It’ll be fine.”

“What’ll you name your dog?” she asks.

“Something stupid, I’m sure.”

“Like what?” She leans forward in her chair. Hiccup thinks.

“Toothless.”

Astrid cackles.

[izzy-b-hands]

Boys In Dresses

Written for my DL server Bingo Card prompt: Roaring 20s. 

Truth be told, struggled on this one, then I remembered flapper dresses and drag existed, and now here we are!

Set in a Poly!Queen AU (hence the shared flat they have in this and my other Poly!Queen fics), sometime around in 1974 because...because lol, I have no good reason except wanting to toss this in that year. 

My love to all who read/like/reblog!

It was only the four of them, but Freddie had insisted on a theme, dressing up, and to do it up as much as they could afford. 

And they did still have a few bits of vintage left over from the clothing stall. That it fit any of them was pure luck. 

But perhaps the best luck, was that there were four flapper-styled dresses. 

“This is too short on me,” Brian said. “Not made for a tall anyone, this dress.” 

“You look lovely,” Freddie protested. “It’s just us in here anyway, show off!” 

“Feel like I’m showing off an awful lot,” Brian blushed, and tried to push the beaded hem to cover more of him. 

“No more than the rest of us,” Freddie said. “And besides, we’ve literally seen each other naked. I think being in a short dress is barely anything after that!” 

“You aren’t wrong,” Brian said, but still his hands tugged a bit at the dress.

Freddie had been fighting with his hose, but yanked it off and reached out for Brian’s hand instead. “You can change, if you’d like. This is all for fun, but I want you comfortable.” 

“I think I’ll be alright,” Brian said, walking over to grab and squeeze Freddie’s hand. “Need to get used to it, is all.” 

“If at any point you want to change, you do so, okay?” Freddie asked gently. “And you don’t have to do any part of this you don’t want to.” 

“I’m okay, really,” Brian said. “Ready for you to do up my make up next.” 

“Sit!” Freddie motioned to the chair near his. “My hose can wait.” 

“There’s a run in them already, isn’t there?” 

Freddie sighed. “I swear, they hear you thinking that you fear a run in them, and one...appears. Like magic.” 

Brian giggled, holding himself still as Freddie set to his eyeliner. “You could go without them. Like you said, it’s only us.” 

“That’s a good point,” Freddie remarked. “You think I’d be okay without it?” 

“Beautiful, with or without it,” Brian replied, blinking as Freddie finished up. “Now, remind me not to rub my eyes five minutes from now, when I forget I’m wearing make up.” 

Freddie laughed, and shook his head. “Shall we check on the other two?” 

In the other bedroom, Roger was fussing with his own hose, and John appeared slightly stuck in getting his dress down and on completely. 

“Manly shoulders,” Freddie tsked, carefully pulling John’s dress down. “But you look gorgeous.” 

John waved away the compliment. “Don’t need to lie to make me feel pretty.” 

“Not lying, and you are pretty, if you want to be,” Freddie said. “Though most days you’re the most masculine one in the room, if I’m honest.” 

Roger scoffed, and yanked the hose off of his legs. “No one should have to wear that, I’ve decided. What a useless invention.” 

“A run?” Freddie asked. 

“What else?” Roger rolled his eyes. “Barely had even touched it, and there one was!” 

“Give up on it,” Freddie advised. “That’s why Brian had me do, and his advice was good. Also, your legs are lovely.” 

“Shut it,” Roger said, sticking out his tongue. “Don’t look at them, you’ll be blinded!” 

“Is there a point to this party?” John asked as he swished the skirt of his dress, seemingly chuffed at the sound of the beads as the moved with the fabric. 

“Is there a point to any party, really?” Freddie asked right back as he led them into the living room. 

“Birthdays,” Brian replied.

“Anniversaries,” John added. 

“Funerals are sort of a party,” Roger remarked. “Maybe not a happy one, but if you wanted, you could have streamers at one.” 

“Is that a note to take down for your funeral someday, Rog?” Brian asked. 

“Not for you,” Roger scoffed. “I’ll outlive you.” 

“You don’t know that,” Brian said. “And I’ll put money on it that I outlive you instead.” 

“In these heels?” Roger asked as he nearly tumbled off of them, grabbing Brian to stay upright. “Maybe.” 

“You could take them off,” John noted. He hadn’t even attempted any of the heels in the closet, and was happily barefoot. Though he had managed to get his hose on without a single snag or run. 

“I’m trying to dedicate myself to the spirit of things here,” Roger said. “Would ladies in the 20s have kicked their shoes off at the slightest inconvenience? I bet not!” 

“You can’t let go of me, can you?” Brian chuckled, wincing at Roger’s firm grasp on his arm. 

“That’s neither here nor there,” Roger said sharply, taking a tentative step forward. 

He screeched as Brian dipped down and scooped him up, managing the last few feet to the couch with him in a bridal carry. 

“You don’t look heavy,” Brian huffed as he dropped down by Roger. “Looks are deceiving.” 

“Just because your bony ass can’t fill out your dress...” 

“It’s not meant to be filled out, I don’t think,” Brian protested. “Freddie, back me up on this.” 

“It doesn’t matter either way,” Freddie said softly. “We have food, drink, and the evening to ourselves. What are we going to celebrate for tonight?” 

“Thought the party didn’t have to have a point?” John smiled as he dropped himself onto Roger’s lap. 

“It doesn’t need a point, but it does need a thing to celebrate,” Freddie replied. “They’re different.” 

“Are they?” John continued, then laughed as Roger swatted at him. “Alright then. We could celebrate...well...” 

“...I had a wonderful sandwich last week,” Roger said. 

“That’s not enough,” Brian scoffed. “Though I did find this bookshop a month ago that is worthy of celebration, and remind me to take you there soon, Rog, you’d love it too.” 

John looked thoughtful. “We’re not dead.” 

“Is that your suggestion for what we ought to celebrate?” Freddie asked gently. 

John nodded. 

“That is certainly something,” Freddie said. “In addition to the sandwich, and the bookshop, and I thought we could maybe throw in our albums-” 

“Oh, that’s a good one” Roger grinned. “We should have thought of that.” 

“Some might even say it could have been the first thing we listed, in regards to something to celebrate,” Freddie continued. 

“I think mine ranks somewhat higher,” John noted. “Have to be alive to make an album, usually.” 

“Usually?” Brian asked, somewhat concerned. 

John only smiled in reply. 

“To life then,” Freddie declared. “And our music, and also that one bookshop which I do hope you’ll take me to as well, Brian-” 

Brian nodded. “We’ll make it a group trip.” 

“And Roger’s sandwich,” Freddie finished. “Was it really that good?” 

Roger smiled. “It was. Expensive as all get out, at that stupid little shop down the street. But damned if they don’t deserve the money for it.” 

“Fair enough,” Freddie said. “Shall we open up the drinks and make it a proper toast.” 

John blushed. “Take the second bottle.” 

“Why?” Freddie asked as he made his way to the champagne bottles at the table, only to smirk. “You bitch! That’s how you got into those hose so easily!” 

“I only had a bit,” John giggled. “It was pure coincidence it helped me get these things on. And I didn’t help any with the dress, I’m sure you’ll remember...” 

“I wonder,” Freddie murmured. “Shall we do an experiment, after our toast?” 

---

Three bottles of champagne later, multiple pairs of hose, and four hours later, the experiment had proven a failure. John was apparently the only one who magically benefitted from being slightly tipsy while pulling on hose, as the rest of them lay on the floor, laughing at the ruined hose around them. 

“Still science though,” Brian giggled, and held up a piece of paper. “I wrote it all down! We could publish it...in a paper...” 

“Wait,” Roger mumbled. “What’s our control group though?” 

Brian groaned. “Fuck.” 

“Does it really matter,” Freddie mused. “As long as we all had fun? I know I have.” 

“But science-” Brian started, then paused. “Well. I did have fun. But I don’t think I can sit up right now.” 

“No rush,” John said, a leg lifted up and laying on the edge of the couch as he lolled his head lackadaisically from side to side. “I’m fine down here, frankly. Comfortable. Just like dresses. Why don’t we wear them more often?” 

“That,” Freddie said. “Is a whole discussion. But I don’t feel up for it, so I’ll settle to say that we should wear them more often. There would be no harm in drag on stage, for that matter...” 

“I like it,” Roger said, and reached for the papers Brian had in his hand. “Bring those over, we can write it out...plan to do it, what sort of dresses, all that, c’mon!” 

They wouldn’t remember all what they had planned (and not all of their notes would make sense) by the next morning, but Freddie would deem the party a success. 

And one plan for sure would stay in place: parties each month consisting of just the four of them, where they could dress in drag, let loose, and get absolutely nothing done together, in the best way possible. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #241

“where once a heart was beating, nothing but embers glow. our love, it serves as kindling to stoke this flame’s inferno.”

Would you care if your partner did drugs etc? If it was legal here and just for medical purposes, I'd be fine with just weed. Otherwise, I treat the idea the same way as I would a tobacco smoker: no. Has anyone lost their virginity to you? I guess in a gay context? For two females, when is it really... "lost?" Idk. Do you live near a beach? Like... two hours away. Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired? Ha ha, yeah... Do you enjoy going through the car wash? I do, actually. I'm still a little kid when it comes to the rainbow soap, ha ha. Have you done anything embarrassing lately? Oh, I'm sure. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? One. Would you consider painting your bedroom purple? Noooo, it wouldn't be cute y'all. Do you actually wear every shirt in your drawer? Ha, no... mainly because there's a handful of them that I'm working to shrink back into. Then there's others I'm self-conscious of because of color and having hyperhidrosis out the ass. Just wearing black disguises sweat the best. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? I have one already, but I'm getting it covered at some point. I didn't put much thought into it and has no meaning to me now. I plan on getting the other collarbone tatted too, of course. Are you pregnant right now? Bitch fuck no. Do you still dress up for Halloween? Ugh, no, but only because I can't afford even things to put together my own costume. Not having anywhere to go only further discourages dressing up period. Who was the last male you talked to? My dad. Do you hate cuddling? Hell no, if I like you anyway. Do you have any bruises right now? No. Why did you take the last pill you took? They're my morning prescription meds. My last pill was for anxiety. Could you handle having kids? FUCK no. Nervous breakdowns would happen twice a week, I promise. What outfit makes you feel the most attractive? Attractive? In anything? What a concept. What do you think of people who always wear make-up? You do you, boo. What’s a smell that absolutely makes you gag? Gag, probably vomit. Or feces of some animals. Is there a smell that gives you headaches? GASOLINE. And fresh-cut grass. What do you do while you’re on campus but not in class? Sit in the library doing schoolwork or whatever on my laptop. Do you know anyone who has Autism/Asperger’s syndrome? Yes. Has anyone of the same sex ever hit on you? Yeah. Are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not? Yeah; been in one already and I'm still open to dating another girl. What do you think of people who litter and do you? I openly fucking despise you. So obviously not. How much time do you spend online daily? If I'm not in school, I can like... guarantee you I'm on the computer doing at least something. Not always the same site, but I'm somewhere. I absolutely hate how reliant I am on the Internet. Do you wear sunglasses regularly? I never do. I need prescription sunglasses. Who was the last person you called? My mom. Do you own a tablet of any kind? No. Do you tend to put things off until the last minute? OH YES INDEED. What are your parents’ natural hair colors? What is yours? Mom's is brown, and I cannot believe Dad was born with blond hair. HOW does that turn black. I was born dirty blonde. Are you afraid of getting shots? Nah, just the injection is kinda painful with how it burns. Do you hate it when people smoke around you? I very much so hate it. Have you ever wanted to vlog? Noooo, I'm too awkward for that. Always have been. What’s the last piercing you got? Tongue. Do you have a best friend? Ye. What’s your internet homepage? Google. Do you have a shower stall or a bath tub? A tub. When was the last time you saw someone attractive? In person? Idk. What do you hear right now? "I Am Hell" by Machine Head. This time last year, can you remember who you liked? Same person I like now. Did you speak with your father today? No. Are you currently frustrated with someone? No. Name one of your hobbies? Watch YouTube is high up there and like... the only thing I have motivation to do lately. I really hate it. I want my writing will to come back. What is your biggest worry in life right now? My lack of a job. Do you like hot or cold showers? Hot. Are you happy with your relationship status? I don't have a particular feeling about it. What colors would you like to have at your wedding? Depends on the season and the opinion of my spouse, too. How easy was it to get over the person you last dated? It didn't take too long, though it was really because the event left me believing we were, without question, getting back together once we are independent enough to live on our own/mutually move out. It's still possible we may, should life just play out where it works out, but it also was much easier to accept because we're still completely best friends. Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend? Not on paper, but pretty much. How old were you when you first smoked weed? But I never have. What is one thing that you’ve done that a lot of people said you couldn’t? Idk; I don't have a lot of unsupportive people in my life. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Mom. What was the last reason you cried? I listened to a song that deeply triggered my PTSD. Have you ever hated a song, and then later on found that you liked it? Yup, however that works. Did you have a good childhood? It was mostly normal, I guess? Do you play games on your PC? Just World of Warcraft right now. I started Alien: Isolation and Resident Evil 6 FOREVER ago, I just haven't had the motivation to finish either. Do you have a formspring? It's familiar, but I'm actually not sure what that even is. Do you know anyone that is racist? Welcome to the South. Do you have an active sex life? No. Are you defensive about anything? Yes. Have you ever driven 80+ mph? No. Have you ever changed a lightbulb? Yes. Have you ever gotten a bullseye in darts/archery? Darts, possibly. Never done archery. Do you have a Wii? Yeah. Do you own any animals that absolutely hate you? No. What brand is the computer you’re currently on? Acer. Are there any piercings you want but you’re too afraid it will hurt? The pain factor doesn't keep me away from piercings, so no. Do you think ear gauging is gross? When it gets to a certain width, to me anyway, it's pretty ew. I don't judge at all about someone having them, but it can get to a point where it just isn't appealing imo. Are you afraid of anyone in your family? Who and why? No. What’s the last scary movie you saw? Ummmm idk. It's been a long-ass time. I'm sure something in theaters, but I really don't know. Why aren’t you friends with your last ex? We are friends. When did you last spend the night at a friend’s house? A year ago when I was at Sara's. Did you ever watch 2Girls1Cup? Fuck no, I've never even looked into what exactly it is, but I know enough to know I don't wanna fucking see it. Do you have anxiety or depression? *shrugs* Why not both? Have you ever lived in a mobile home? No. Have you ever had your bedroom in a basement? Never even had a basement to begin with lol. Friend asks you to hide drugs, booze etc for them, do you do it? lol no. Animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out: Big spiders. I particularly like writing spiders/orb weavers though, and watching big spiders eat is just fascinating. Have you entered the Lays create a flavor contest? Oh man how long ago was that??? No. Bagels or English muffins? Bagels gotta win it for me. Who is a family member you look forward to seeing on a holiday? On Christmas especially, I love seeing my niece and nephew because they're just so excited. Brings me back to what it felt like as a little kid. Are Easter baskets only for kids? No. My sisters and I each had super cute baskets that Mom would fill until like... two years ago. Now that it's just me living with her, she'll just usually buy me a candy bar or something. Do you do anything to recognize St Patrick’s Day? No. Do you think nutcracker figurines are creepy or cool? No opinion. Speaking of nuts, do you like them? For the most part, no. There are instances however where I can enjoy like little pieces of them with other kinds of food, ex. chocolate. What do you do when you are nervous? Dead giveaway: I'm kneading/playing with my hands. I pace naturally, but I do so more frequently when I am nervous. I'll have a harder time making eye contact, too. Does your family have an SUV or pick up truck? No. Which of your parents do you laugh more with? Dad. Have you ever been to an open casket wake or funeral? Wake, yes. Who mows the lawn at your house? Some guy Mom knows through the dance studio. Where do you keep your phone at night? Usually to the right of my pillow, a bit far away, and up more towards the headboard. My bed's a queen-size and it's just me, so I have room where I won't hit it. If it has to charge though, then it's on the table beside my bed. Do you feel comfortable asking your parents or grandparents for money? No in almost every case. I'm only somewhat comfortable if it's Mom and I'm asking for like a snack from the gas station or something like that. What’s the last thing you lost? My phone, I think. If you could have your own car or an apartment, which would you choose? An apartment would be entirely useless as I am in no way competent enough to live alone yet, and a car wouldn't have much use seeing as I only have my permit and STILL pretty much never drive. It'd be more useful than an apartment, though. Last time you hid, and why: Uhhhhh. I have zero clue. How do you like your eggs? I'll only ever take them scrambled with cheese. Favorite Mexican food? Quesadillas. Upcoming event you are dreading? I'm happily enjoying it right now, but in another way, I'm dreading school break ending just because I am INCREDIBLY nervous about the effects of it on my legs with the whole muscle atrophy thing. I'm scared of regressing. Do you have a favorite pen? What kind? No. Do you do more surveys during the day or night? The day. Just shampoo, or shampoo + conditioner? Just shampoo. Conditioner adds oil to your hair, and trust me, my hair does NOT need any extra oil. Scariest driver you’ve ridden with: Dad the day he had to pick Nicole and me up from school and we had a 30-minute drive home. Basically, we got home in maybe 15 or less. He was in a fucking awful mood, speeding like hell, running red lights, passing illegally... I was entirely convinced we were going to die that day. Still one of the scariest of my life. Do you think you’re smarter than the average person? If so, why? It depends on the subject matter; in areas such as English, wisdom, stuff kinda like that, honestly yeah. In areas like common damn sense and mathematics, fuck no. What was the last topic you did thorough research on? Why? Paganism. I recently found that Neo-Paganism is the closest description for my spiritual beliefs; it covers such a broad spectrum, and it emphasizes the divinity of nature, free will (so long you are not inflicting harm upon another), the equality of man and woman (plus the beauty of humanity), and one of the concepts of the "ultimate being" includes not an actual deity, but just like this... source of energy and power. I don't even know if I believe it to be conscious, it's just like... the source, and it lies within nature. I'm still doing more and more research into it as I'm thoroughly intrigued, and I continue to feel more at home with its inclusiveness to an array of interpretations. What was the last thing to upset you? So beyond just an annoyance? Probably when this random fucking Facebook post of a father sharing just how proud he was of his son for killing wolves together and sharing purely evil photographs of them playing with/posing the bloody dead bodies (which included making them "snarl" at the camera, and mind you, their mouths were full of blood) popped up on my feed for no goddamn reason. Safe to say, I left a comment and got into a fight with a backwards son of a fuck who thought it was totally kosher to kill these "vermin" and used personal attacks versus logic to try in vain to prove his point, when all he did was accomplish me seeing him as the vermin. Where did you go to the last time you left your house? My sister's house. Do you wear something on your left hand/wrist/arm without fail? Friendship ring with Sara as well as the bracelet she gave me. What is an article of clothing you would never ever wear? Stealing the last answer of jumpsuits. Will you go outside today? Probably not. Are you doing everything you can to make yourself happy? Not everything. I know I could do more. What is a phrase or a saying you try to live by? I don't think I have a set one that I always look to. I refer more to ideas, such as to be unrelenting in your goals. What is something you lie to yourself about? I don't know. I'm not good at that. What has been the best job you’ve ever had? lol What is a holiday, that is NOT celebrated in your country, that you would like to celebrate? Day of the Dead. I know some do celebrate it here, but it's more of a holiday in Mexico. Which nation’s culture (excl. your own) do you find the most interesting? Germany's, from what I remember. We learned quite a bit about them while I took it as a language. They are very serious about honesty and manners. What is something you judge about other people? How you treat others, certain aspects of ones personality (ex., arrogance), and as the previous person stated, to a certain degree anyway, moral/political/religious beliefs. What is something you do not want to discuss? I get really uncomfortable talking about sex, and though no one in my "real" life knows about it (except perhaps Mom due to an outburst during the breakup), I don't like even looking back on the Joel situation. There are also some political things I just don't want to talk about. Do you enjoy solving problems? No, shit's stressful. Are you a kinesthetic, an auditory or a visual learner? Kinesthetic, 100%. Are you an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert? I'm a pretty strong introvert, though not as much as I once was. I can get lonely kinda quickly now, but I still NEED my alone time. Are you socially anxious or awkward? OH BOY AM I!!!!!!! Do you actually think it’s gross to talk about body functions? NO!!!!!!! This needs needs needs to be normalized because it's stuff we all endure, so we should be comfortable talking about these things, asking questions, etc. Have you ever sent a love letter? Yeah. When you look up at the sky do you ever NOT see a plane or vapor trail? Yeah. Welcome to the country. Do you wear any shoes with holes because you can’t give them up? No. When you go out to breakfast, what do you order? Pretty much always pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon. What’s the best compliment you’ve gotten from a boss/teacher? That when she came back to teaching, I was the exact kind of student she hoped for. What’s a weird or interesting nickname you gave someone? lmao the first one that came to mind was Connie's "Einnoc." Is there a phrase or mantra you repeat when you are frightened? No. What are you most envious of? Successful photographers lmao. Do you have a friend with a habit that worries you? Yes. Would you rather have coffee, cocoa, tea, or soda? UGH soda. That's my weaknesses. You could take sweets from me, but I'm pretty reliant on soft drinks. When you walk into your best friend’s room, what do you smell? I don't remember, actually... I haven't been there enough. Have you ever purposely broken something that belonged to a sibling? Wow, no. Have you ever worked at the same place as your best friend? No. Do you like to visit famous people’s homes? I've never done that, and I find it disrespectful anyway. Give celebs their privacy, goddamn. Do you take days off from shaving when you can get away with it? The only thing I shave are my armpits, and considering I don't shower everyday, yes. Every time I do take one however, I always shave. Is there anything hanging on your bathroom walls? No. If your SO agreed, would you want an open relationship? No. Have you ever slept with three people in the same bed? When? Why? At some point, yeah, but not in a romantic context. It was with friends or family when we had limited space. Does your family regularly eat sit down meals together? Pretty much never. Who would you like to slow dance with? To what song? SOBS "The Only Exception" by Paramore w/ Sara continues to sob What’s your favorite pet name someone calls you? None that I have now. If you could talk to one species of animal what would it be? Good question. I guess cats, as I have one and would love to know what he thinks. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever seen in person? An elephant, strolling RIGHT by the fence at the zoo. Have you ever used the change counting machine at a store or mall? Ohhh, I remember those! Yes. Would you give mouth to mouth to your dog to save its life? We have a dog I honestly can't stand, and this is gonna get me mentally punched, but I don't know. NO, not BECAUSE I don't like him, but I don't love him enough to deal with those germs. I don't think I could stomach doing it. If you came with a warning label, what would it say? "Is going to be uncomfortable if you say one word to her but craves friendship anyway." Have you ever tried to learn a language on your own? No. Have you ever had a pet destroy something valuable or important? The thing that upset me the most was when Teddy tore up the corner of one of my art pieces I'm most proud of. I cried. It was weird considering he never really tore up stuff... but alright then. What’s the best burger EVER? UGH I'm weak for Wendy's Baconators. Did you ever show up late for an important event? Probably at some point?