#make sure you have proof when making a bold statement like this

[tpwk-formula1]

Figure It Out - Landoscar***

SUB! Lando Norris X SWITCH! Oscar Piastri X SWITCH! Reader

REQUESTS ARE OPEN! I write for all drivers on the grid!

Summary: After Monza tension is at an all-time high in their shared apartment.

Authors Note: I've been writing for Kinktober and have been loving it so I decided to write a kinky little piece. The urge to post my Kinktober fics early is strong but I'm holding off. THIS IS NOT PROOF READ

TW - MxM action (Hand jobs and blow jobs), face sitting, slight masturbation, squirting, slight degrading

WC - 1500+

Y/N POV

"Just shut up, Lando," Oscar finally snaps at his complaining teammate turned boyfriend.

"Don't fucking talk to me like that," Lando replied back clearly still pissed off at the whole situation.

"Lando, on the track we are drivers. The whole point is to race each other that's exactly what I did," Oscar continues to defend his bold actions.

"I get that, and I don't even care about the fucking overtake but you could have done it during one of the straights not the first fucking chicane," Lando continues ranting allowing his voice to raise more as he continues talking.

"Both of you shut the fuck up," I finally snap making both of my lovers fall silent. It was rare for me to yell especially when it came to getting in between them when they were arguing about a race.

"Lando, I understand why it's frustrating, you're fighting for a championship while also defending against Charles and Oscar I understand being frustrated over your race result but both of you guys need to work together to make sure to secure constructors. To be completely unbiased here, Oscar the overtake was risky and luckily both of you guys are amazing drivers and were able to survive but Lando is right, it might have cost you guys too much time ruining the chances of a 1-2. However, Lando that does not excuse your actions either. Both of you guys love each other and you need to remember at the end of the day you got points and a double podium," I tell them softly to fend up to keep listening to them yell at each other.

"But babe," Lando started to complain before I sent him a quick glare making him shut up without finishing his statement.

"Both of you strip and go lay on our bed," I tell them both without even looking up at them going back to the book I was reading before they started arguing. When I don't hear movement I look up to find them both staring at confusion.

"Did I stutter?" I ask again a little more firm than before. Both of them shook their head before slowly making their wait to our room where I could hear them starting to strip down. Neither of them are talking but I know for a fact they're staring at each other. Mad or not they love each other and if anyone can turn them on it's each other.

With the layout of our apartment, I can hear every little sound they're making even if they're talking in hushed whispers.

"Lando, how long is she gonna leave us here?" I hear Oscar ask making me smile softly. I knew it was only a matter of time before their anger turned into sexual frustrations. Whether they will ever admit it or not after a bad race weekend especially one pitting them against each other the only way to fix it is to fuck it out of their systems. Sometimes it involved using my body and other times it was them using each other. Those were always the best ones to watch.

"Osc, please stop touching my thigh," I can hear Lando whimper which tells me right away who will be taking the lead tonight.

"Lando, we're sitting on the edge of the bed it isn't intentional, stop being petty," Oscar snaps back slightly, clearly just as frustrated as his boyfriend.

"I need, Y/N," Lando finally whispers out. Oscar doesn't say anything in reply which has me slightly confused until I can hear the tell-tale signs of Lando being touched in some way.

"Fuck," Lando gasps out before I suddenly hear them start to make out quite aggressively.

"Osc, please," Lando begs slightly making my pussy start to throb.

"You're gonna wait to cum until our pretty girlfriend decides to stop playing games with us," Oscar whispers to Lando making me smile. In that moment I made the decision to listen to Lando continue to whine and beg.

I stand up quietly before stripping down and sitting back on the couch with my legs spread wide open. I bring my fingers down to my pussy before I start teasing myself.

"What if she doesn't come in for a while," Lando asks Oscar making me smile cause we all know damn well I'd be in there as soon as I couldn't handle the teasing anymore.

"I bet you anything, she's sitting on that couch with her hand in her panties right now listening to you beg and whine like a little whore," Oscar tells Lando making both of us gasp at his harsh words.

In all honesty, it was rare for Oscar to be the dominant one between the two but it was always a favorite of mine cause he was just a different kind of cruel than when Lando is being the dominant one.

I can hear some movement before the sound of one of them spitting.

"Please Osc," Lando whines out again which tells me Oscar has to be the one on his knees teasing Lando. I can hear the sound of Oscar's wet hand moving up and down Lando's hard cock, which has him whing and gasping at the sensation.

I know how impatient Lando can get, so I decided to put him out of his misery by getting up and making my way to our room. When I get in there I can Lando's head thrown back while Oscar is taking him down his throat.

I make my way over to Lando where I grab his face before placing my still wet fingers into his mouth making him moan at the taste of my pussy.

"Look, she's come to save you. Maybe you'll finally be allowed to cum, but of course, you're gonna have to earn it first," Oscar teased Lando, making him whine around my fingers that were still in his mouth. When I pull them out I lean down and start making out with Lando. I can taste a hint of my juices which just makes me moan into his mouth.

"How are you already soaked," I hear Oscar ask clearly having seen just how turned on I was.

"You know I like when you take control Osc," I whisper once I pull away from the heated makeout session. It doesn't take me long to feel Oscar's fingers plunge right into my dripping pussy making me let out a gasp before moaning loudly against Lando's lip.

It's not long before Lando becomes a whimpering mess which tells me that not only is Oscar fingering me he's also giving Lando a handy.

"Fuck," I whine dragging out the word clearly overwhelmed with everything around me.

It's not even two minutes later that Lando is begging Oscar again.

"Please, Oscar. I'll be good. Please," Lando is begging as much as possible while also trying to keep kissing me.

"Our pretty little slut gets to cum first," Oscar tells Lando making me whine. This has Lando reaching down just enough to start playing with my clit trying to bring me over the edge faster.

"Oscar, please," I moan out once I feel my orgasm getting close to the edge.

"Cum for us," Oscar tells me making me instantly squirt all over both of the boys. Once my orgasm has concluded I hear Oscar tell Lando to cum which has Lando instantly tensing before releasing a high pitched whine before cumming all over Oscar's hand.

"Here," Oscar says while presenting me his cum covered hand which has me instantly licking all of Lando's cum off of it. Once it is clean enough for Oscar he climbs into bed pulling me with him to sit on his face.

"Get to work," Oscar tells Lando which has him shuffling around to get on his knees and start talking Oscar into his mouth.

Once Lando has settled into a good pace Oscar starts eating me out like it's his last meal on Earth. With one hand gripped on the headboard for stability before I tangle my fingers into Oscar's freshly cut hair. I know I'm pulling at it just right when I hear Oscar gasp at the slight pain I'm causing to his scalp.

"Fuck," Oscar moans out shortly after I hear Lando gag slightly on Oscar's cock. I can tell just from the sounds Lando's making he has all of Oscar's cock down his throat right now.

"Close," Oscar gasps out before instantly going back to focusing on my clit which also brings me closer to my second orgasm.

I hear Oscar groan out against my pussy signifying that he's cumming which has me tumbling over the edge with him.

Still slightly shaking I feel Lando lightly lift me off of Oscar before bringing me into his chest for a cuddle. Something that was always a part of our aftercare routine.

"How'd you know that would work," Oscar asks chuckling a little before placing a soft kiss on my lips preventing me from answering right away.

"We've been together for over a year. I know how you guys get," I reply back making both of the boys laugh a little.

Once everything has calmed down around us we all get up before getting into the shower together which inevitably resulted in a round 2.

[threestarsinline]

Children's Books and Leather Jackets (Part I)

Jason Todd x reader one-shot

Summary: You couldn't love your job more. Or at least, that's what you thought, until Jason Todd started coming into the bookshop every week without fail, like clockwork. And then you form a connection that tilts your whole world on its axis.

Word Count: 13.6K (total of 29.2K)

Category: Lots and lots of fluff. Like, LOTS (plus some mutual pining, idiots in love, slow burn? and friends to lovers, and therefore, what all of that entails, mwah)

Warnings: Jason stealing your heart (and you stealing his)

Author’s note: Well, here's the proof that yes, I was writing hehehe. Anyway, enjoy this monster of a two-part fic, peace and love babes

>Part II

You loved your job. You really truly did. It might seem like a bold statement to make but when you spend your day to day in a quiet, lovely and vintage styled bookshop owned by the most wonderful couple of old people that you have ever met, who also treat you as their own granddaughter, you know that you could have it a lot worse in Gotham. You often forget that they are technically your bosses, or co-workers as they always corrected you when you referred to them as such.

Rose and Jimmy hired you a long time ago now, when they weren’t able to run the bookshop fulltime by themselves anymore due to the rise of popularity of the place (even though the customers were still just a close community of people from the neighborhood). And also because, after decades of running the bookshop, they wanted to finally kind of retire and do a few travels to places they wanted to see or visit their children scattered throughout the country.

So there you were, practically running all by yourself a small but successful business each week.

However, you weren’t bothered at all, it was perfect for you: working alone with no annoying co-workers or stressful deadlines, a flexible schedule since Rose and Jimmy would replace you here and there whenever you needed it and giving you free days out of the blue. 

It also didn’t hurt that the job allowed you to stay in touch with the thing that you loved the most: books. Pages, full of stories that could transport you anywhere, to any time. Words, creating characters that became your family and made you laugh while also breaking your heart with their tragedies. And the possibility of sharing all of this with the people who came into the bookshop from all kinds of different backgrounds made it all even better.

Let’s just say that you couldn’t believe your luck when you got this job. Your day to day consisted of, among other things, attending customers, organizing the bookshelves, doing inventory and most of all: reading. There were certain moments of the day in which the shop was quite uneventful so you would seize those moments by doing all the reading that you could.

You really thought that you couldn’t love your job more. But that was until a gorgeous and very mysterious young man with a white streak in his hair started coming every week into the shop and giving you a smile every time that he left. 

You got it bad.

And your crush on Jason Todd did nothing but increase. You were sure that that man was going to be the death of you.

The first time that Jason walked into the bookshop you were surprised to say the least. You had never seen him in the shop before yet he walked towards a section in the bookshelves of the back with firm and secure steps.

He came back to the register with three children’s books to check out. That surprised you even more. He certainly didn’t look like the type of person that you would expect to get children’s books. He had a rough appearance with his tall frame, dark hair and (fake) leather jacket.

But he was nothing but polite as he greeted you and handed you his bookshop card.

The shop also acted as a library with several books, Rose and Jimmy having implemented the idea after there was an attack at the public library that left the place in reforms for months.

It also allowed the people who couldn’t buy books that regularly to still be able to have new books since you only had to pay for the card when you first got it and pay the small fee for the membership every two months. Or every month if you wanted more perks like extended loans or not having a limit on the amount of books allowed to be checked out.

Most of that money was also directly donated to different causes in Gotham like orphanages and homeless shelters. The community loved Rose and Jimmy for all of that, it was like they were their guardian angels, some customers had told you that they were godsent. 

As you proceeded to scan the books that the mysterious young man had brought you, you realized that his card was fairly new and came to the conclusion that Rose must have given it to him the week before, when you had your free day. 

“Do you have The Rainbow Fish? I tried to look for it but I couldn’t find it.” He spoke up and you looked up at him, surprised once more, since most people either loved or hated that book.

“Uhm. If it’s not on the shelf, it must have been checked out. Let me see.” You looked it up on the computer. “Yeah, someone took it a few days ago. We should have it by next week, I can keep it in reserve for you if you’d like.” The information seemed to please him since his face lighted up and he let out a sigh of relief.

“That would be great, thank you.”

“No problem. Have a nice day.” You gave him back the books and his card and as you looked at him you realized that he had a very nice smile. You wondered if he would come back often to the bookshop. 

“You too.” He said as he opened the door.

And in fact, he did come back to the bookshop rather often, at least once a week and always looking for children’s books. You were very curious about it since it wasn’t very common to see a man like him taking so many children’s books with him.

You couldn’t help but speculate, maybe he was close with kids in his family or maybe he did some kind of volunteering. Either way, you weren’t going to ask, it was out of place and you didn’t know him. 

Then, he started checking out other books, this time fiction and most of all classic literature. He sometimes even bought the ones that really brought out his attention. He would always strike up friendly conversation with you as he came to the counter with new books to buy or check out, asking you about some book or asking you for recommendations.

On your most brave days, not really knowing what you were doing, you would even make a comment about the books that he was taking with him and he answered you with enthusiasm, commenting on them with you.

Soon, you were on a first name basis with him and something similar to a friendship blossomed between you two. You started giving snippets of each other's lives, you telling him about a show that you were watching that you really liked or him telling you about one of his siblings’s latest shenanigans.

Jason coming into the shop became something that you looked forward to and Rose and Jimmy, who some days spend the day in the shop helping you out, also saw how close you two were becoming.

Jason even befriended them too and the owners soon treated him like a grandson just like they had done with you so long ago. Jimmy sometimes shoved in his hand his famous homemade cookies and Rose tried to give him a discount for the books that he bought but Jason, like always, refused to accept it. 

“What? You’re supposed to leave them inside, it’s on the delivery contract.” You add frustrated.

“Whatever you say. Not my problem.” The new delivery man doesn’t even look at you as he recklessly puts the last of the boxes of new book orders on the sidewalk.

Looking at the now damaged box you grimace. You really hoped that the books inside were okay. They were like your babies.

The man takes his cigarette out of his mouth and puts it out on top of one of the boxes knowingly, looking you dead in the eyes as if challenging you to say something else.

You know that starting a confrontation would get you nowhere, it would be better to file a complaint later that you know would have consequences for him since the delivery service and the bookshop had always had a trusting relationship.

So, knowing to pick your battles, you put on a smile and thank him. The man seems surprised at that, surely used to having excuses to play the bully. He just huffs, gets on the truck and leaves. You nod to yourself proudly, you won. But your small, triumphant moment ends as soon as you see the large number of boxes that you now have to carry inside on your own. 

Oh, how you missed Charlie.

Charlie was the delivery man before he retired. It had been his job for more than fifty years and even now he was as strong as ever and he had always helped you with the boxes and made you laugh with his adventures from his younger years. 

You always gave him a cup of coffee from the machine in the small back room that worked as a break room as he tried to set you up with his grandchildren. Telling you how amazing they were and how one of them was about to become a doctor.

“I’m sorry, Charlie. I’m sure they’re great.” You would always tell him. Because they did sound nice but none of them lived in Gotham. Charlie then would fake a disappointed sigh but the crinkles of a smile around his eyes would always appear.

“Well, let me know if you change your mind, sweetie.” A pause. “Though you should forget about trying here, there isn’t anyone worthy in this godforsaken city.” He would joke.

“Except you, Charlie.” You’d say brightly while winking at him jokingly. And then he would laugh the way only one can when they are satisfied with their life and as happy as they can be, something very rare. 

“Don’t let Mary hear you, I know she doesn’t look like it but she can throw a punch.” His eyes would shine with love as he mentioned his wife.

“I don’t doubt it.” You’d answer.

You are brought out of your memories when a voice calls your name.

“Y/N, hi.” You turn to see Jason and you can't help the immediate smile that makes its way across your lips.

“Hi. How are you?”

“I’m good. I was just about to go in when I saw you out here. What’s all of this?” He looks around at all the boxes that the pedestrians were avoiding.

“Delivery day.” You say as you take one of the boxes in your arms. His eyes widen. With that funny expression on his face he looked cute, which made him even more handsome than usual. It wasn’t even fair.

Focus, Y/N.

“And you always do this alone?” 

“No, the new delivery guy is just an idiot. Charlie always helped me.”

“Charlie?” He raises an eyebrow as he too grabs a box from the floor.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“I’m helping you.” He replies without hesitation, you shake your head.

“I can’t let you do that, you’re a customer.”

“It’s no problem. Plus, this way you will finish this earlier and you can recommend me another book after the heartbreak that you gave me with the last one.”

“Sorry.” You say, trying to contain a giggle. He narrows his eyes at you.

“No, you’re not.”

“No, I’m not.” You confess, this time laughing freely.

You didn’t know it but Jason thought that you looked beautiful. Even more so than some days, if that was even possible, with the wind carrying your laugh to him and rustling your hair. God, he was in deep.

“So, are you going to let me help you or not?”

“Fine.” You finally comply.

And as you two enter the boxes he repeats his question from earlier. “Well, who’s Charlie?”

“Oh, just the best delivery old man you will ever meet.” You answer, your affection for the man clearly present in your voice.

“Do you collect them?”

“What?” You ask confused.

“Grandparents, old people. You have your own grandparents, Rose, Jimmy and now I learn about this Charlie. Do you collect them?” You smile at his comment. Truth was, he had a point.

“Well, I guess you could say that. In fact, now that I think about it, most of my friends are old people. I mean, it kind of makes sense, my perfect Friday night is staying at home reading with a hot chocolate.” For a moment silence settles between you and you worry that you might have overshared and that you were creeping him out. 

“You’re an old soul.” He finally says. And the way that he does so makes you stop, like he admires you for it, as if he likes the peace that comes with such a statement.

“Maybe.” You reply, resuming your step.

“I wish I could do that.” You arch an eyebrow. “Stay at home at night during the weekends and just relax.” He adds.

“Why’s that?”

“I work nights.” 

“Oh. It must be hard.”

“Yeah, sometimes it is.” After saying that his gaze gets lost, as if for a moment he wasn’t there with you anymore, but deep into his thoughts and memories.

“Do you have any? Grandparents, I mean.” You say to distract him and bring him back.

“Just one, Alfred. Although he is in more the middle of being a father and a grandfather. He raised me along with Bruce.” As soon as he says that, you know that he is just as surprised at himself as much as you are at the confession since it is by far the most personal thing that he had ever shared with you.

It is also clear that there was a lot of history behind that statement. It seems a serious matter and the other times that you two talked, he mostly kept it lighthearted with you.

The mysterious man that had first entered into the bookshop had let you see a crack in him. He trusts you. Or at least, he was beginning to do so in a more personal way. You only feel lucky that you are being able to get closer to him.

You sense how his instinct to flight was about to strike, clearly not used to this kind of situation and being awkward about how to manage it. So, you decide to change the topic, in what you think is a smooth way, to relax the ambience and to selfishly see if you could keep him at your side just a little bit longer.

“Well, I can share Rose and Jimmy with you then. As long as you don’t steal my spot as their favorite bookshop grandkid.” Just as you finish talking you see him visibly relax, his tense shoulders acquiring a more loosen stance.

Then, almost unnoticeably, a small smile forms on his lips and another one makes its way to your own.

“Deal.” He ends up saying.

After you both bring in all the boxes, and you check them into the inventory, you open them to put the books in the correspondent shelves. You turn to thank Jason for the help but he's already passing you some of the books for you to place them.

“Thank you, but you don’t have to do this. You already did too much.”

“Nope. I’m not leaving.” He just hands you the books in his grasp and grabs some more. You stand there stunned. Where did this gorgeous kind man come from?

“Okay. At least let me give you a coffee.” You go to the break room and not even a moment later, after quickly asking him how he liked it, not even giving him the option to refuse it, you return with a cup in your hands. He whispers a thank you and when you hand it to him, his fingers so lightly graze yours, making your breath hitch in your throat. 

“You don’t want one?” He asks, seeing that you had only brought a single cup.

“Oh, I don’t like coffee much.” He nods and then you get to work, looking at the books, classifying them and ordering them.

Jason keeps passing them to you and sipping the coffee in the comfortable silence. He’s glad that you’re so concentrated because that way you won’t notice how entranced he is with you. He watches you and just by your movements he knows that you’re in your element. It was clear that you enjoyed what you did.

At some point, you start humming a repertoire of the songs from Beauty and the Beast, probably without realizing it. Jason doesn’t mention it, knowing that most likely you would become ashamed and stop.

So, Jason lets the moment pass by, your company and the peaceful atmosphere of the bookshop making a warm feeling wash over him. Making him feel safe and relaxed. Something that didn’t usually happen to him, but that being in the bookshop and in your presence, always made him feel that way.

When he eventually left, you didn’t even realize that he had done so without taking any book with him.

“Hey.”

The sudden voice makes you stumble on the ladder that you were on to return a book to its place in one of the top shelves. You know that there is nothing that you can do to prevent your fall but still in a hopeful attempt, you drop the book that was in your hand to the floor, and extend your arms to try and gain some balance. 

All of this happens in milliseconds and even then, you have time to exclaim “Jesus!” from the surprise, preparing yourself in any way you can for your imminent fate. 

However, just as fast as it all happened, a hand settles on your waist to stabilize you and another one grips the ladder to stop its wobbling. And just like that, you’re back on your feet again. You look down and there he is.

Your knight in shining leather jacket.

“Not exactly but close enough.” Jason can’t help replying to your previous exclamation. It had never crossed his mind before but now that he thinks about it, he realizes that he has something quite peculiar in common with the biblical figure. With all the ‘been dead done that’ stuff. The weird coincidence and his own comment making him chuckle to himself. 

You also huff out a small laugh, not at his comment, that you couldn't possibly fully understand, not yet, but at your own clumsiness. Laughing being almost always your immediate reaction whenever you fell or, like in this case, almost did. 

“Oh my god, thank you.” You say relieved with a thankful smile on your face.

“It’s nothing. I’m sorry actually, you almost died because of me.” 

“No, don’t worry, you just surprised me. Plus, me and high places have never been a great combination.” He chuckles at your comment and you smile in return.

Much to your disappointment, he lets go of your waist, but it doesn’t last long as he holds out his hand for you to help you come down from the ladder. You know that he’s just being polite and that you should finish what you were doing on the ladder but after the brief scare you’d like to put your feet on firm ground again for even just a small bit.

That, and the fact that you would take any chance that you could get to be close to Jason and hold his hand. Honestly, who wouldn’t?

So, you accept his hand and, just to be even more safe and avoid any possible risk of course, not for any other reason, you support yourself on his shoulder on the way down. He leads you to the ground with a small smile on his face and then sadly, lets go of your hand.

You miss the contact instantly.

“There we go.” He says, so low, that it’s almost like a whisper.

You take a moment to address him and look him over, the feel of his strong shoulder under your hand still tickling your fingers at your side. And for a split second, just a tiny little one, you wish that you had actually fallen from the ladder so that he could have caught you in his arms.

Damn it.

Now that the idea had occurred to you, you would think about it for days. 

Jason leans down to retrieve the book that you had dropped earlier and with an ease and balance that you could only dream of, he returns it to the open spot that you had been reaching for on the top shelf. It makes you both jealous and in awe of the way in which he can almost effortlessly do so. Even though even he had to step onto the first step of the ladder to reach it.

Stupid tall attractive people.

Jason enters the bookshop excited to see you. He hadn’t been able to come by for a few days and he did not like it one bit. Coming to see you were the best parts of his week, because if he was being honest, the books themselves had stopped being a motivator a long time ago.

Probably the second or third time that he had visited the bookshop.

He was just thankful that you didn’t seem to notice that you were the main reason that he came by. You would probably think that he was being creepy. However, much to his dismay, Rose and Jimmy were very much aware of how much he liked you.

They always had that knowing smile whenever they saw you two talking and they definitely knew about the insane amount of books that he checked out weekly as an excuse to see you. Books that were impossible for him to read from one visit to another in such a short amount of time and that just spent several days stacked in his house.

Thankfully, for the moment, they had never said something to you or directly commented it to him either, as they wisely knew that you two needed to take things at your own pace.

He closes the entrance door behind him and his brows furrow in confusion not seeing you behind the counter, where he would usually find you reading or taking care of a customer. Maybe you’re in the bathroom, doing something in the break room or organizing the shelves.

But then, Rose emerges from the break room behind the counter greeting him.

Oh.

A slight feeling of disappointment settles in him. It’s not that he didn't like Rose, he really enjoyed chatting with her, he just really wanted to see you. And if Rose was here maybe you weren’t working today. But it couldn’t be, you always worked Thursdays.

Not that he had paid any attention to your schedule or anything.

Then it suddenly occurs to him that maybe you have taken the day off. He’s as happy for you as much as he’s disappointed. Everyone knew that you worked too much for your own good.

Still, the selfish part of him wanted to spend just a tiny little bit of time with you.

“Good afternoon, Rose. How are you?” Jason finally greets back.

“I’m good, sweetie, just checking day. And you?”

“Glad to hear it. I’m fine too. Just came in looking for…” Damn it, he didn’t even prepare an excuse of a book. A few seconds trail on and Jason still doesn’t say anything.

“For a…” He had been caught like a deer in headlights. He avoids Rose’s intense gaze that was still set on him waiting for him to say something. This is so embarrassing. And he was supposed to be one of the daring vigilantes of Gotham?

Pathetic. That’s what he was.

He could face villains but he couldn’t come up for an excuse to see you. Jason clears his throat.

“For a…” Jason’s starting to worry that he has entered some sort of self loop and is about to facepalm himself for his own stupidity when Rose’s lips break into a wide grin and she chuckles. She was messing with him. Like always, she definitely knew what exactly he was in there for. Jason smiles and lets out a sigh of relief.

“She’s on her break.” Rose says, nodding his head in your direction, towards the shelves. 

“Thank you.” Jason turns to go find you when Rose speaks up once again.

“Oh and, by the way, since you’re on it, can you get her for me please? I want to tell her something and I’m about to meet Jimmy for lunch.”

“Of course.” He answers while Rose gives him a thankful smile.

Jason starts to pace through the bookshelves, looking for you, but you’re nowhere to be found.

Until he passes by between a couple of them and sees something on the floor. He takes a couple of steps back and there you are, sitting on the floor with books about to be shelved, he supposes, and a book in your own hands that must have had you so immersed and distracted that you hadn’t heard him come in, nor his conversation with Rose.

A fond smile makes an appearance on his lips. He loved seeing you like this, in the place that you loved most, doing what you loved most, lost in a book. He realizes that he would never get tired of that sight. Still, it’s an intimate and private moment for you and he doesn’t want to linger too much on it and intrude. Plus, Rose was looking for you.

“Hi.” He says softly as to not startle you, after the scare from the last time. Which by the way, had been replaying in his head over and over again, the electrifying feeling of your hand in his forever engraved in his mind.

“Y/N.” He tries.

Nothing. That book really had you in a trance. He huffs a small laugh and takes a couple of steps closer to you, hands in his pockets. 

“Earth to Y/N.” You let out a small hum to acknowledge him but your gaze is still fixed on the ink. He’s about to call you again when you finally get out of your trance and steal a quick look to see who had talked to you.

Your eyes widen like plates, probably realizing that you had spent too long reading on the floor. You quickly get up and Jason notices how even in your distressed state, you close the book with care and slightly organize the mess around you, your hands treating each book carefully.

He wonders if you would treat him with the same carefulness and affection. For a split second, he even wishes it was him that your hands were treating and not books. Jealousy over books. Huh, that was new.

He also couldn’t help but wonder if you were that way with everything. If even when you weren’t at your best, or going through something, treating things, people, the world around you with care and kindness came as second nature to you, sometimes without even realizing it. He had a feeling that the answer was yes.

And once again, he realizes how much the dark part of his life clashed so much with yours. But before he can get too much into his own head, once more, just like several times before, you bring him back. 

“Oh my god, Jason, I’m so sorry.” You start, taking the few steps that separated you from him. “I don’t know how it happened, I swear. God, were you waiting a lot?” He doesn’t like the worry settled on your features one bit, like always, making him feel uneasy. Like the other previous few times that he has seen you like this, he makes it his mission and his top priority to change it.

“No, not at all. Don’t worry.” You nod while your tense posture finally seems to relax a bit. “You okay?” He adds.

“Yeah, yeah. I just… Got a little bit distracted.” You say as you retrieve the books from the floor and your head motions towards them. Jason smiles at you, knowing the feeling of being so engrossed in a book that everything else faded away.

“Rose was looking for you by the way. She was about to head out to meet Jimmy.”

“Oh, right.”

When you both go back towards the counter and you take your usual spot behind it, Rose is already putting her coat on and about to leave.

“I’m so sorry Rose, I got myself carried away and…” You start but Rose stops you with a shake of her head.

“It’s okay, honey. Just wanted to let you know that I’m leaving now.” You let out a sigh of relief. You really have the best bosses in the world.

“Okay, have a nice lunch.”

“Thank you, darling. Goodbye kids.”

“Goodbye.” Both you and Jason say. And just before Rose closes the door behind her, she winks at you and you feel your cheeks warm at the unspoken insinuation. Enjoy your time alone. You steal a quick look at Jason, hoping that he hasn’t seen Rose’s wink and sigh in relief when you see that he’s already turned towards you, facing away from the door.

Though, now that you think about it, you could swear that it was Jimmy the one that was supposed to meet Rose at the bookshop today, not the other way around. That woman was too smart for her own good.

“Well, what can I do for you today?” You ask Jason once you turn towards him.

“I…” Quick, Jason, think. “Could you extend my loan for the book from last week?” Nice save.

“Sure.” As you click on the computer, Jason takes a look at the stack of books that you had brought back with you from the shelves and that you have left on the counter.

“What got you so entranced back there?”

“Oh.” You say and you turn to the stack of books. Your eyes shining with excitement now. “We just got these new Jane Austen hardcovers and they’re just so gorgeous, look.”

You take the one on top of the stack, the one that you had been reading, and hand it to him. Pride and Prejudice. He takes it from your hands, your fingertips slightly grazing one another’s. Jason looks at the cover that feels soft yet sturdy in his hands. It was simple with just the title of the book and Austen’s name but the intricate and beautiful designs that decorated it made it, as you had said, a gorgeous edition.

“Wow. These are great.” He says with childlike wonder lacing his tone. He opens the book and his eyes skim over the pages and passages that he has read so many times before.

“I know, right? I was just admiring them one last time before putting them on the shelves and I just opened one to read a couple of paragraphs but next thing I know, I was ten pages in. I swear I didn’t mean for it to happen.” You confess. Jason laughs softly.

“Don’t worry, that’s just the Jane Austen effect. I get it, it happens to me too.” You can’t help but stare at him for a few seconds, blinking slowly, processing the newfound information. Thankfully, he’s still engrossed in the book.

This man likes Jane Austen? Is he trying to kill you or something? As if you couldn’t like him even more.

“You like Austen?” You ask, still a bit in disbelief, though it doesn’t really surprise you, since from the very beginning you had noticed how he was a very cultured person and how he had a great taste in books.

How sexy is that? To you, very. Very sexy.

“I love her. Basic, I know, but this one’s my favorite.” He answers as he puts the book back on top of the stack. As if anything in him could be basic, as if you don’t find him to be one of the most fascinating persons that you have ever met in your entire life.

“It’s not basic, it’s great. I love it too but I think that I prefer Northanger Abbey.” You pause. “Or Persuasion.” You pause again. “Or Emma.” You pause to think once more and Jason looks at you amused, loving how passionate you are when talking about it. “Or… Okay well, I love all of them! I can’t choose just one.” Jason smirks.

“Perfectly valid and understandable answer.” He says. You both look at each other for a second too long and then his phone starts ringing, breaking the moment. You give a slight jump and busy yourself going back to finish renewing his loan on the computer.

But to your surprise, he just takes it out of his pocket, looks quickly at the screen and directly hangs up. You raise an eyebrow but continue with your task, a small smile making its way across your lips, flattered that he prefers to keep talking to you rather than picking up his phone.

“Well, done. You have another week to…” You’re interrupted when his phone rings again. Jason huffs annoyed and silences it again.

“Sorry.” He says. You shake your head.

“It’s okay.” The phone rings a third time. It must be really important. “Though I think you should take it.” Jason looks at his phone in his hands, then at you, back at his phone, and then at you again, still doubtful, but you nod encouragingly. He seems torn and undecided, but he finally nods to himself and gives you an apologetic look before answering.

“What?” He says annoyingly, taking a couple of steps away from the counter as you pretend to check things on the computer and try (and fail) not to eavesdrop.

He’s going to kill Steph. He really is. She never calls him and now there is something so important that she has to call him three times and interrupt his talk with you? It better be good. 

“Heyyy. Jaybiiird. My bestieeee, the best vigilante in Gotham that there is.” Jason can already start to feel a headache forming, he brings a palm to his face and then runs it through his hair. You watch the gesture with envy. How many times had you daydreamed about doing the very same gesture? Probably too many.

“I can’t talk right now.” He quickly glances at you, still at the computer. This is stupid.

“Pleaseeee, I need your help.” At her pleading tone Jason sighs tiredly and pinches his nose, even though he knows that he shouldn’t be listening. With the way that she’s talking it’s probably a stupid favor or something, he would much rather be talking with you.

“Steph, what do you want?”

Steph? At that your head perks up slightly. His girlfriend, maybe? Your shoulders deflate thinking of the possibility. He had never mentioned having one but you also had never asked. Why would you even ask? You’re just friends, or something like that, it would seem like it was coming out of nowhere. As your thoughts keep spiraling and you stare blankly at the screen in front of you, Jason carries on with his conversation.

“You’re going to laugh…” Steph starts.

Jason rolls his eyes, catches your eyes and mouths my sister. You just nod and your spiraling thoughts stop abruptly. Thank god. Although the possibility of him having a girlfriend is still there, now that you don’t have to face it directly, you decide not to linger too much on it. Keeping the thought away and trying to ignore it, just like you had been doing since you met him. That’s a future problem for future you.

Jason changes his phone from one ear to the other as he listens to Steph stumble through her words. If she’s going to keep beating around the bush, he might as well hang up.

“Okay, bye.” He’s about to end the call when Steph speaks up again.

“I lost Damian.” Jason’s eyes widen as he turns to his other side.

“You what?” He whisper-shouts into the phone. 

“Okay so, Damian is grounded, okay? Something about driving the batmobile without permission and then…”

“Steph.” Jason warns through gritted teeth, clearly meaning go to the point.

“Okay, okay! So, I’m on babysitting duty alright? And Damian had been talking non stop about this new limited art exposition in the museum that he wanted to go to and that it wasn’t fair that he was grounded and blah blah blah.”

“Okay, and?”

“And… Well, there was this new season of this show coming out today and I just got distracted for a bit and then he kinda… Disappeared?” God. Jason closes his eyes in frustration. His family really knew how to be the most infuriating at the worst of times. He stays silent for a moment mentally cursing them before opening his eyes again.

“Told you you were going to laugh…” Steph repeats at his silence and Jason sighs, making you giggle quietly at the sibling interaction. Jason smiles at the sound.

“So what? Just go to the museum after him.” He finally answers.

“That’s the thing, I am at the museum and I just can’t find him. Damn that kid and his ninja training.” Steph hisses through the line. “Can you come and help me find him please?” He could hear her pouting.

“Why me?”

“You’re the only one that picked up.” And now he was sure that she was smiling innocently but full of mischief. Jason huffs. As soon as he saw Steph’s name on his screen he knew that he shouldn’t have picked up.

“No.” He says.

“Come on, pleaseeee. I’ll owe you one. If I don’t find Damian I will be the one that’s grounded next.” Honestly, who had put her on babysitting duty? Who had even grounded Damian to begin with? It was impossible to try and control that kid.

Damn it, Bruce.

“Bruce can’t ground you.”

“Oh yes, he can. I’m sure he’ll find a way. He’ll make me go supervise Condiment King or something! Please, Jason, please." Jason sighs. “Please, please, please, please. I’ll do all the research that you need for a week!” Mmhm. That’s interesting. That would certainly leave him with more time to see you.

“A month.” He counteroffers and sees you smiling at his bickering, making his insides feel giddy. Steph groans.

“A month? You know that’s too much.”

“Do you want my help or not?” Silence.

“Arrrg, okay, okay! Well, we’ll talk about it, now, can you please come here?” 

“With pleasure.” He says amused. Even though his family can be infuriating at times, he had to admit that they had their good moments and he enjoyed annoying them just as much as they did him.

“You’re so arrogant, oh my god. I pity whoever decides to put up with you.” Steph says and Jason can’t help but steal a glance in your direction.

“Just remember that you owe me a big one.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just come here. I’ll wait for you at the entrance.”

“Okay.” Before he hangs up, he hears Steph speak up again.

“Hey Jaybird.” Jason hums. “Thanks.” He rolls his eyes playfully.

“Bye.”

“And say hi to Y/N for me-!” He hangs up before you can hear Steph’s loud teasing voice. He knew that talking about you in front of his family wasn’t the best of ideas but he just couldn’t help it. You occupied his thoughts a lot more than what he was willing to admit. 

“Sorry.” He says as he approaches the counter once again and puts his phone in his pocket.

“It’s okay. Sibling drama then?” You ask playfully as you raise an eyebrow.

“You have no idea. It was Steph, she used to date one of my brothers. Tim.” You look at him confused.

“I thought you said she was your sister?”

“Yeah, I mean- it’s… It’s complicated. That was how we met her but she’s like a sister to me now.”

“I see.”

“Sorry, we’re quite a mess.” He chuckles awkwardly, running his hand through his hair and the white streak once again. The movement, like always, has you hypnotized. It should be illegal. Jason thinks that he should just stop talking, now he has weirded you out with his stupid and crazy family.

“Aren’t we all?” You say softly as you tilt your head in the cutest of ways. Honestly, the more that he told you about his family, the more you realized how peculiar they were. But they seemed really close to each another, which was what really mattered.

“Yeah… I guess so.” He trails on as he gets lost in your eyes again. You nod and he shakes out of his daze. “Well, I should get going. Duty calls.” He adds as he nods towards the door and taps his fingers against his side of the counter nervously.

“Okay. Hope everything goes well with whatever it is.”

“Yeah, I’ll tell you next time.” Something about the security of knowing that he will always come back, and that there will always be a next time with him, raises goosebumps on your skin.

“Yeah. Next time.” You both look at each other as he walks towards the door.

Something lingers in the air, as if both of you want to say something else but do not dare to do so. Do not dare to cross the invisible line in your strange friendship usually defined by the safety of the counter that almost always stayed between you two in your interactions.

Jason grabs the door handle and holds it open for a moment as you speak one last time.

“See you soon then?” It’s a stupid sentence, already remarking what you both have already said, but it’s as good of an excuse as any to make him stay just a few seconds longer.

“See you soon.” Jason nods smiling at you and then, the door closes behind him.

You’re reading at the counter when the bell on top of the door jingles. You look up, hoping to find green eyes but are met with a stressful boy looking around the shop. As if in his distressed state, he can’t find you behind the counter.

“Hi.” You say as you bookmark your page. “Can I help you with anything?”

“Oh. Hi. Yeah.” He says as he quickly approaches you. He shakes his head to move the hair out of his blue eyes and takes a piece of paper out of his pocket. His hunched posture and shaky mannerisms tells you that he hasn’t caught a break in a while. This poor boy needs a rest.

“I’ve been looking for this book everywhere and I can’t find it anywhere. It’s my boyfriend’s birthday tomorrow, he loves mysteries and conspiracies and I need to find it. My brother told me that this is the best bookshop in all of Gotham and that you can find anything here.” He rambles as he gives you the piece of paper. You take the paper and look at the boy as he slightly bounces on his feet looking around the shop.

You raise an eyebrow. A distracted boy that seems to always be running and a brother that recommends the bookshop? Sounds quite familiar.

“Tim?” You can’t help but guess, though you’re still a bit unsure. Jason had mentioned him a few times and how his younger brother always seemed to be doing a hundred things at once. At that his bouncing stops abruptly and finally looks at you for more than a few fleeting seconds, suspicious of how you know his name.

“Sorry, hi. I’m Y/N. Jason comes here often and has mentioned you a few times.” You say nervously. The information seems to take a little bit longer than usual to register due to his distressed state but then when he finally recognizes you, his alert posture relaxes.

“Oh, Y/N! Hi, yes. I’m Tim. Nice to meet you.” He says as he holds out his hand and you shake it. “Jason talks about you too.” He adds. You feel your cheeks go warm.

“Well, nice to meet you too. Are you okay? You seem a bit stressed.”

“Yeah, sorry. It’s just that I’ve been putting together this party for my boyfriend and the gift is being so hard to find it’s giving me headaches. Please tell me that you can help me.” 

“Of course.” You say. “But first, take a deep breath.” He looks at you as if he doesn’t know what you mean. “You need to rest and relax a bit if you want to make it to your boyfriend’s birthday tomorrow without dropping from exhaustion.” You nod encouraging him and then take a deep breath yourself so that he can imitate you. Thankfully, he does so after shaking his shoulders to release tension and then stays with his eyes closed, taking a moment.

“Better?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” He answers, opening his eyes.

You nod. “No problem. Let’s find that book.” You look at the piece of paper and type in the title and author of the book on the system. It’s a limited edition of a book about the old history of Gotham and thankfully, you have one copy in the storage room. “Got it. I’ll be right back.” Tim sighs in relief as you leave the counter.

When you come back, you bring the book and a cup of coffee from the break room with you. 

“This is so that you can get home to rest until tomorrow without dying on the way.” You say as you slide the coffee towards him.

“Oh thanks, but it’s not necessary.” You stare at him, having clearly seen how the idea of coffee almost had him glowing.

“Okay, okay.” He chuckles as he goes to take the coffee but you keep the cup in place.

“Promise that when you get home, you will rest. Do not take anymore coffee so that you can keep organizing things.” Tim looks at you, your firm tone and kind intentions making him clearly see why Jason is so smitten with you. He can also easily see himself trusting you and becoming friends with you.

“Promise.” He says honestly. You nod, letting go of the cup. "If you want more milk or sugar-" You can't even finish the sentence as he shakes his head, having already taken the cup into his hands and taken a sip.

“Mm, not necessary. This is great. Thank you.”

You smile. “You’re welcome. Do you want to wrap the book?”

“Yes, please.” He says.

“The Rainbow Fish? Again?” You say chuckling as Jason puts it on the counter for what probably was the third or fourth time. You really were starting to run out of options wondering why he always checked out so many kids’ books. But it just felt very intrusive to ask, he never said anything more about it either, probably not wanting to talk about it much.

“Yeah.” He says as you scan the book and pass his card on the system. 

“I loved this book when I was little.” A nostalgic look on your eyes as you gaze at the cover of the book, remembering the silver scales of the arrogant fish that he had to give away in order to be accepted instead of just being a nicer fish.

The message of the book in the end was good: not think of yourself as superior to others. But there was something about having to give up something that you were proud of and that was special about you in order to be accepted that always felt a little off putting to you when you grew up, especially when being kind could have just resolved everything.

“Though it sure as hell began my people pleasing problems.” You add giggling a bit without thinking. But when what you have said registers, you freeze, hands on the book and blank stare on them, not daring to look up at Jason. 

Where the fuck did that come from? 

You shut your eyes, praying to whatever was out there to let you die of embarrassment. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You had definitely freaked him out. That’s it. He would walk out of the bookshop and never come back. Why would you even say that? You weren’t thinking, that’s it. It had just slipped. You had become so used to being able to be yourself and talk about everything with Jason that it just felt so easy and comfortable to say whatever was on your mind. 

Finally, you decide to sentence your fate and just end with this terribly awkward conversation as soon as possible.

“Sorry.” You say. “I honestly don’t know where that came from.” Jason just chuckles though not in a mocking manner, but in an understanding way.

“Don’t worry, I get it.” He assures you. You look back down, missing Jason’s look of appreciation, loving your honesty and how flustered you were. He found it endearing. “Well, thanks.” He says as he goes to take the book on the counter.

Your whole body then tenses in alarm when you see the state of his hands, which until now, had been hidden in his pockets. Without thinking, once again, (seriously, what was wrong with you today?), you take his hands to take a closer look at them.

Jason lets out a small gasp as you do so and mentally smacks himself for letting you see his wounded knuckles, now him being the one that wanted to die of embarrassment. It was only so much that the gloves of his Red Hood gear could do to protect them.

“What happened?” You whisper, worry etched onto every single one of your features. 

Fuck.

How had he been so careless? He should have bandaged them, hidden them better or put make up on them. He just wasn’t used to having someone worry about him and his wounds like you were right now. At his silence, you try again:

“Jason.” Now he was the one avoiding your gaze. But you persist, finally making eye contact with him. “What happened? Are you okay?” He wills himself to get out of his stupor and even though deep down he doesn’t want to, out of the soft touch of your hands too, bringing his own back to his sides.

“It’s nothing. It’s just… I do boxing.” He says as he shrugs his shoulders. “It happens.” You raise an eyebrow, suspicious. It feels like something doesn’t fully add up.

You know that there are things that Jason isn’t telling you. He has made some strange comments before but you always let it go. You know that eventually, if he wants to, when he’s ready, he will tell you. God knows that you have your own things too.

But if there is something that you have learned about your growing friendship with Jason is that you both like to take things at your own pace. Trusting and becoming close with each other slowly but steadily.

Letting time do its work. Not forcing the flow of things. And you like it that way. Life is always everchanging so to have something so solid and safe like what you have with him, you want to treasure it and nurture it. Although all of that of course, doesn’t stop you from worrying about him and wanting to take care of him.

So, you just nod, accepting his explanation, but not without having a little bit of fun.

“I thought that in boxing you were supposed to wear gloves to avoid that very kind of injuries.” You say with a playful smile.

Shit.

Jason wants to facepalm himself. He really seemed to just have one brain cell whenever he was around you. At his lack of response you shake your head.

“Come, let me patch that up at least.”

“Oh, no, no. It’s fine, don’t worry.”

“Jason.” You throw him a glance.

“Y/N.” He maintains your stare. Finally, a small smile escapes your lips and you put an end to the staring contest, rounding the counter and taking his hands once again and guiding him to the break room. Allowing yourselves this moment since there aren't any other customers in the store right now. Jason lets you, knowing that in the end, he will never be able to deny you anything.

Once in the break room, you sit him down at a chair by a table and leave for a moment before you return with a first aid kid. You sit down in front of him and look at him softly.

“Can I?” You motion towards his hands. Jason swallows and only finds the courage to nod slowly.

The knuckles are far from being the worst that they have ever been and Jason always tries to take care of them but he had just arrived home from patrol the night before so exhausted that he had only managed to clean them before passing out on his bed. Right now, they’re mostly just reddened with a couple of points in which the skin is broken.

Jason then finds out that he was right. When you take his left hand and start treating the wound, cleaning it again and applying some antiseptic on it, he sees that you treat him with the same care and thoughtfulness that you did with those books all those weeks ago.

Almost as if he was something delicate, something precious. If not more.

The beat of his heart quickens and he wonders if in the silence of the room, you can hear it.

This is the very first time that Jason has been back here, the setting of your interactions always being the open part of the bookshop and this change of scenario makes it seem like something has shifted between you two. Like you weren’t just employee and customer with a friendly relationship anymore but like you have a real friendship and a deeper connection.

The whole time, as you treat his other hand too and then slowly bandage both of them, Jason looks at you. He’s glad that you’re only fixed on his hands because that way he can take all the time that he wants to admire you.

The concentrated look in your eyes, the way that your eyebrows furrow in concentration, how you put a strand of hair that has fallen out behind your ear, and the occasional and very tortuous moment in which you bite your lip in concentration, being extra careful in not hurting him.

And that's when the weight of how much he feels for you falls on him. He was already aware of it before but now is when he can really feel the weight of it all. How what he feels for you is not just an infatuation or a crush, but something deeper that runs beneath his skin, crawling into him, taking root. Settling and making a home there.

“Done.” You whisper. And as you retract your hands from his, Jason wishes that he never had to part from your touch.

You put all the things that you used back into the first aid kit and try not to think about the impulse that you had, but that you thankfully had managed to repress, of kissing his knuckles when you finished bandaging them.

“Be careful, okay?” You say. Jason nods, admiring your work but when you don’t take your eyes off of him he answers:

“Yeah. Promise.” You nod satisfied. Then Jason remembers another promise that he had made. “Tim wanted me to thank you by the way. Bernard loved the book.” He says.

“Oh, that’s right! It was no problem, it was really great to meet him. How was his boyfriend’s party? Bernard’s I guess?” You say excited.

“Tim said it went great. And that thanks to you he didn’t fall asleep during it and was actually able to enjoy it.” You giggle in response when suddenly, Jason’s phone beeps and he takes a quick look. Firefly alert downtown. He jumps out of his seat.

“Sorry, I have to go. Thank you, really.” And faster than a bullet, he’s gone.

You sigh, shaking yourself out from the intimate moment and when you return to the counter, you see that in his hurry, Jason forgot to take The Rainbow Fish with him. You take the book and put it under the counter, keeping it for him for next time.

You’re running some errands when you see two large men crowding a little girl. She can’t be older than six and she’s clutching onto a teddy bear for dear life. 

Anger and fear for the little girl rage inside you, it is broad daylight and there are quite a few people on the street, yet everyone seems to carry out their business ignoring the men trying to talk the girl into going with them. You knew how Gotham was but it seemed like the city always found a way to surprise you.

“Come on, your mommy told us to come get you.” You hear one of the men say to the girl as you quickly approach them.

“I don’t have a mom.” The girl manages to say, distrustful. And even though hearing that makes you sad, you admire the girl, you can tell that she’s smart.

“Can I help you?” You hiss as you put yourself between the two men and the girl, putting an arm out to keep her behind you. You see the two men exchange a look, clearly discussing if it is worth it to cause a scene in the middle of the street.

“No. We were just leaving.” One ends up saying, giving a clap to the back of the other, directing them away from you and the girl. As they turn to leave, they try to give one last look to the little girl but you move to block their line of sight.

When they turn the corner at the end of the street, you finally let out a sigh of relief, thankful that the confrontation didn’t escalate to anything more.

You knew you didn’t actually stand a great chance against them physically, and seeing how people were ignoring the situation before, you’re not sure that anyone would have helped you.

Adrenaline is still pumping through your veins as you turn and kneel on the floor to be eye level with the girl, who takes a step back in fear but you hold your hands up, trying to show her how you’re not a threat.

Now that you can see her clearly, you see how scared she really is. She is shaking slightly, still clutching her worn out teddy bear with tears in her eyes. Her clothes aren’t in the best state either and her shoes are two steps more from falling apart. Just by looking at her you can tell that she has to have spent nights on the street. 

Your heart breaks. It really was unfair how many unfortunate people and kids lived in such dire situations in Gotham. Of course you knew that there were people trying to change things and do better like the vigilantes or normal people like you, that even if it was in the smallest of ways, always tried to help somehow. You did so by either giving away the clothes that you didn’t use anymore or doing donations whenever you could. But sometimes it still seemed like the bad outweighed the good. 

“Hi, honey.” You say in a soft voice to try and calm the little girl. “I’m Y/N. What’s your name?”

She stops backing up against the wall of the building, sniffs and rubs her eyes, before looking at you, deciding whether or not to trust you.

“Lily.” You hear her squeak out. Her grip on the teddy bear relaxes and she starts playing with its ear, still not looking directly at you.

“Hi Lily, it’s very nice to meet you.” You say as you extend a hand to her, wanting to give her some sense of normalcy. She slowly takes it and you give her a soft shake. “You okay?” She nods. “You know Lily, you were very brave standing up to those men.”

“They were bad” She says. You nod. “Jay always says not to trust strangers and much less big scary men.”

“He’s very right. Is he your brother?” Maybe you can help her get back to her family. If you managed to do so, it would be much better than bringing her to the police and then, sadly, most likely than not, forgotten in the foster care system.

“No. A friend. A very good friend.”

“Okay, good. That’s very important.” You look around, trying to see if somebody is looking for her. “Do you live nearby?”

“I think so.” She says shyly, you give her an encouraging look to see if she can give you any more information. “I was chasing a cat but I think that I took a wrong turn.”

“Okay. How about I go with you and try to find your way back?” You say as you stand back up. You’re happy to see that Lily doesn’t look scared anymore. Instead, she looks almost… Excited?

“Yes, please! I don’t want to miss it!” She says as she grabs your hand and starts walking in the direction that you suppose she came.

“Miss what?” You ask, but she’s already telling you everything about her teddy bear, who seems to be Batbear at night, fighting crime and kicking butt like the heroes in Gotham.

Turns out that Lily’s home was thankfully a lot closer than what you had expected. After asking her if she remembered a couple of streets and stores, she was able to find the right way back.

You finally reach an open space between two buildings that seems to work as a playground, with a rusty basket to play basketball on one side and several boxes and crates littering the corners. Several kids run around playing and chasing each other, most of them in the same condition as Lily.

A group of them surround a bench and you hear him before you see him.

“What do you mean Lily’s not here? Where is she?” He’s running a hand stressfully through his hair, looking around worriedly.

“Jason?” You ask transfixed.

Jason locks eyes with you and freezes, just as surprised to see you as you are to see him.

“Y/N.” He says breathlessly.

“Jay!” Lily’s excited voice filters through the air. You feel her dropping your hand and Jason’s eyes turn to her, relief washing over them. As she runs towards Jason, she extends her arms and he scoops her up and settles her on his waist effortlessly, Lily hugging his neck.

“Lily! Oh my god, where were you? We were all so worried. You’re always here when I arrive.” He says to her.

“I know, I'm sorry! Some bad men tried to take me. But don’t worry, Y/N helped me! She’s a badass!” Jason’s eyes widen at the new information and you see something in them that you had never seen before, a kind of anger that promises danger.

But as soon as that look comes, it disappears, and it makes you wonder if it was ever really there in the first place. He then looks at you, thankful but with a small tint of worry. You just give him a reassuring nod, telling him that everything is okay.

“Why don’t you go with the rest for a bit? I’ll be right there.” He says as he turns to Lily once more.

“Okay!” He settles her back down and she runs off to the other kids.

Jason approaches you quickly in a few strides, it feels like he wants to touch you, take your hands to make sure that you’re okay but he stops himself.

“You okay? What happened?”

“Yeah. I’m okay, don’t worry.” You tell him what happened and you can see how the anger returns to him in the way that he clenches his fists. “But we’re fine and they left so that’s all that matters.” You conclude.

“Where was it?” He asks firmly. You tell him the street where it all happened and Jason seems deep in thought for a moment, like searching for something in his mind. When he finally finds it, he nods resolutely as if he just made a mental note to do something later.

The determination in his eyes sends a chill running down your spine.

“Thank you for helping her.” He says then. “But be careful please, I don’t want you to be in danger.” The very thought makes him shiver, he doesn’t even want to entertain the possibility.

“I know. I am. I just couldn’t stand by.” You respond and he nods, knowing that that was how you were, always looking out for others.

“Anyway, thanks again.” He adds and you nod before looking around you once more.

It then dawns on you that this is the very first time that you are seeing Jason outside of the bookshop and it just feels so strange. When he first entered the shop, it seemed like he stood out like a sore thumb, with his tall frame, rough appearance and black leather jacket against the cozy backdrop of the shop. But now, after so much time, you couldn’t imagine him anywhere else. Now it was like he didn’t fit into any other atmosphere other than at the bookshop.

“Well, and what are you doing here?” You ask curiously.

“Oh, I…”

“So you’re Y/N?” Interrupts a young teen with a knowing smile, followed by a group of other kids, including Lily, clearly having told them her latest adventure. You nod.

“Are you his girlfriend?” Asks another boy now, looking up at you. You let out a small laugh at the way Jason’s eyes widen almost comically at the kid’s boldness.

“No.” You respond, and for a second, you can’t help but wonder what it would be like to answer otherwise.

“We’re friends.” Jason says.

“Very good friends.” You can’t help but add and when you steal a nervous glance at Jason, you find him nodding, agreeing with you. Because saying just ‘friends’ feels too simple to describe your relationship with Jason. And what you said still doesn't cover it.

“Really?” The teen boy from earlier asks again with a raised eyebrow. “Because he-” Jason grabs him and puts a hand over his mouth before he can keep talking, smiling innocently at you. You look at the chaotic situation amused.

“Are you staying for the reading?” Lily asks.

“The reading?” You ask confused.

“Yeah! Jason always reads to us and acts out the stories!” Another girl says. And then it clicks.

Jason buys and checks out so many children’s books for them. For these kids. Street kids. Like him. Not only that but he also reads the stories for them. Regularly. You feel like melting into a puddle.

You turn to Jason, an amazed look on your face. As if this man could be any more wonderful. He blushes and looks away in embarrassment. A small smile makes its way across your lips.

“Really? I didn’t know that.” You say, turning to the kids once more.

“Yeah! He’s great at it.” Chirps the same girl.

“Are you staying then?” Lily insists.

You immediately turn to Jason. You would love to but there is a reason for why Jason hasn’t told you about this. It feels like this is something very important to him and that he holds very dear so you don’t want to intrude on that. But Jason is already looking at you, scared yet hopeful, as if he does want you to stay but is afraid that you may want to leave now.

“Well, I would love to. If I’m not a burden of course.”

“Never.” Jason says without missing a beat.

You don’t think that you have ever smiled more brightly.

You end up having one of the best afternoons that you have ever had in a while. Rival only to the other ones in which Jason visits you in the bookstore. You stay and listen as Jason reads them the books that had been sitting on the bench and that you recognize from the bookstore out loud, using different voices, doing exaggerating gestures, and acting out scenes.

You watch as the kids laugh and look at him mesmerized. If you had been able to look into a mirror, you would have found that you had the very same look of admiration as them, maybe even a tiny little bit lovestruck. You can tell that they love him, look up to him and consider him a role model. You can’t help but think that they made an excellent choice.

The crowd is mostly made of small kids, the older ones, in their teenage years, although a few of them listen, most make as if the activity doesn’t interest them, but you can see how they linger around the group while they play basketball or pass by. 

You see how what Jason is doing with these kids is a light for them. A moment of escapism, fun and happiness from their lives and problems in the worst neighborhoods of Gotham. Kids forced to grow up earlier to survive. Holding onto whatever source of innocence that they can.

Eventually, they all rope you into reading too and you end up sharing the spotlight with Jason. There are laughs, questions from the kids about yourself, funny comments and the snickering whispers from the older kids at the back about the two of you, having obviously heard about you before.

Jason prays that you can’t see them when they start teasing him and making kissy faces to which he just rolls his eyes. He also prays that you can’t see how he looks at you as you enjoy yourself and laugh at what the kids say. The utter adoration and longing that lay in his eyes.

It isn’t until almost a couple of hours later, when the sun has already disappeared beyond the horizon and the orange hue of the sky has turned purple, that the reading does come to an end.

The kids say their goodbyes, not before inviting you to reading time again and wondering when you will come back. A lot of them already give you a hug as they go, and you see them leave back towards their homes. Most of them go to the adjacent buildings but there are also a few, mostly the older kids, or at least accompanied by them, that go towards the street.

Lily thanks you for your help and even gives you a kiss on the cheek that makes you want to melt and give her a tight hug before she leaves towards the closest building, a girl a few years older than her guiding her by the hand.

And then, after all the chaos and laughs, with the night starting to settle in, it’s just you and Jason once again.

You sit back down on the bench next to him and you both stay there for a moment, enjoying the quiet and the silence of the chill Gotham air.

When you turn to Jason, his green gaze is already on you.

“Thank you for staying. The kids loved having you here.” He whispers as to not disturb the peace that has settled over you both. “I hope that it wasn’t too much.”

“What? No, it was lovely. Really, I had a great time. I’m sorry if I intruded.”

“No, not at all.”

“Now I know why you always check out so many kids’ books. Good to know that you’re not a psychopath with kids in cages or something.” You joke and Jason huffs out a laugh.

“Yeah, maybe I should have explained that earlier. It would have been too strange to explain at the beginning but then we became friends and it dragged on and it felt too weird to explain now. I don’t know.” He just didn’t know what you would have thought of him.

“No, no.” You shake your head. “I didn’t mean it like that. This was clearly something very private to you. It’s perfectly understandable not wanting to share it with anybody.”

“You’re not anybody.”

You’re sure your heart stops beating for a moment.

The intensity of his gaze makes you look down at your hands. You can’t remember if anyone has ever looked at you like that.

It’s scary.

In a good way, but still very scary.

“Well, anyway, thank you for letting me be a part of it.” You end up saying and he nods.

Silence settles over you two once again. Neither of you wanting the day to end.

“You hungry? I know a great spot.” He speaks up.

Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

“I’m starving.”

You love the place as soon as you see it. It’s a small, yet very cozy and lovely diner. Through the outside windows you can see that the color pattern is mostly blue and white with bright pink neon letters announcing that it’s open.

Jason holds the door open for you and the warmness inside the place drastically contrasts with the cold from outside. The delightful smells from the kitchen make your stomach ache with hunger.

“Hi, sweetie! We’ll be right with you!” The old woman at the bar with a brightly tinted red streak in her hair says excitedly.

“Sit wherever you like!” A voice yells next from the kitchen. From the open window that looks into it from the dining area you can see another old woman with a bun.

“Thank you, ladies.” Jason greets.

Your mouth hangs open.

Jason leads you to a booth that stares out into the street. His usual spot, you suppose. As you sit in the comfortable booth and you two take off your coats, you close your mouth and look at Jason with a raised eyebrow. He looks back at you feigning innocence, though you know well that he knows why you’re so surprised.

“What?” He says with a teasing smirk that makes you want to kiss it away.

“You little liar.”

“Hey.” He responds amused. “What did I do now?”

“Looks like I’m not the only one with practically adoptive grandparents that just so happen to run a business.” You say with your arms crossed.

And when Jason laughs, you might as well be addicted to the sound with how much you love it everytime you hear it. 

“I knew you were going to say that.” He says and you scoff playfully. “In my defense, I will say that I wasn’t fully ‘officially’ adopted until after we had that conversation. I hadn’t come here enough times for that yet.”

“Mmhm, sure.” You say suspicious as you take the menu from the side of the table and take a quick look over it. “And you wanted to take Rose and Jimmy away from me.” You add, muttering under your breath.

“Excuse me?” Mock outrageousness in his tone.

“What you hear.” You’re trying too hard to hide your smile.

“You know that was never my intention.” He answers and you just hum, pretending to read the menu. “Okay, as an act of peace, you can have Millie and Ruby too.”

“Mhm.” You pretend to think it over.

“I’m sure they’ll love you in no time anyway.” The lightness with which he says that, as if anyone who met you couldn’t help but love you, makes you drop the menu onto the table and look back at him.

“Deal then.” You finally say and you both let out a small laugh.

After that, the woman with the red streak approaches your table and greets you both.

“Good evening kids, how are you today?”

“Good, Ruby, and you?” Jason answers.

“You know, same old, same old.” She says, waving her hand. Then she turns fully to you. “And who might this lovely lady be?” She asks with a knowing smile and an arched eyebrow, almost as if she already knows the answer and knows a secret that you’re not privy to.

“I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you.”

“The Y/N?” Ruby says while throwing Jason a look. He just looks away in embarrassment and the neon sign of the window really makes you wonder if the red tint on his cheeks are a reflection of it or not. “Oh, it’s so lovely to meet you dear! We've heard so much about you! We’ve been telling Jason to bring you non-stop. Oh gosh, I gotta tell Millie. Millie! Honey, come here!” She screams towards the kitchen.

Your lips curve into an amused smile, but you also feel heat rush to your face, not really knowing what to do with all the attention and the fact that Jason has been talking about you, what seems to be quite a lot, to other people. Not only his brother, but also the kids and these women.

Millie appears and when she learns who you are, she greets you just as enthusiastically as Ruby has.

“Let me tell you sweetheart, this boy here talks about you-” Millie starts but then she clears her throat as Jason throws her a warning glance. “I mean, about your bookshop all the time.”

“Well, you can drop by anytime.” You offer.

“We will.” Millie assures you. It seems as though both Millie and Ruby want to stay and ask you millions of questions but they see how Jason is begging them with his eyes to leave you two alone, and after taking your orders, they leave with a smile.

“They seem really great.” You say. Their loud nature sign of a joyous life. And even though they seem more energetic, vivacious and chaotic than the calm and quiet way in which Rose and Jimmy carry themselves, you know that they would get along very well. Especially with how all of them seemed to be thoroughly entertained by the interactions that you and Jason have.

“Yeah, they are.” Jason confirms. “But sorry about that, they can come off as a bit overwhelming sometimes.”

“It’s okay. It’s nice to be greeted so welcomely.”

As the night goes on, you find that it is just as easy to talk to Jason outside the bookshop as it is over the counter. It doesn’t surprise you but the underlying fear that your connection only works surrounded by bookshelves finally leaves you.

As you both eat the delicious food that Millie prepared, Jason tells you more about the kids per your request. How he tries to read to them at least once a week, how he brings them food whenever he can and how he has even taught a few of them to read. You also immediately offer up the bookstore to hold the readings but he shakes his head and smiles sadly.

“Thank you, really. That’s very kind of you. But it’s not very viable since the neighborhoods are not very close. Most of the kids have people relying on them and can only make it to the readings from time to time. The playground is also the more common ground, the older kids can’t go very far due to the responsibilities and it’s not safe for the smaller ones to go on their own.”

You nod, but your heart clenches at how these kids can’t enjoy a normal childhood.

“I understand.” You stop and think for a second if you should say what you want to say next, worried about overstepping. 

You decide to go for it anyway.

“I’d like to come back for the readings, if that’s okay?” Your voice comes out lower and more unsure than what you had first intended, your hands playing nervously on your lap.

Jason looks at you, as if he can hardly believe you’re real.

“Of course you can. I’m sure they’d love to have you back.” I’d love to have you back. But Jason doesn’t want to scare you or make the whole situation come off too strong. “But are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured, if their insistence-” 

“No, no! Really, I had a great time and I would love to be able to see the kids again. Help in any way I can.”

“Okay, then.” He says with a smile pulling at his lips.

The evening stretches on and you two stay at the dinner until closing time. There is a moment that will haunt you for days, as you told him a story, he leaned his arms on the table, giving you his undivided attention, and the way in which his bicep flexed under his sleeve… Nothing has ever been so distracting. Your eyes had been instantly drawn over to it. You really, really hoped that he didn’t notice. You would die of embarrassment otherwise.

You even finally, finally, give each others’ numbers to match schedules for the readings (and to just chat in general of course), since you won’t be able to make it to all of them due to the bookstore hours and so that Jason can let you know if he can’t attend one. You can’t believe you didn’t even have it before with how often you two already talked at the bookshop.

It feels like another shift in your relationship. A stepping stone.

Another brick on the long yet sturdy building road.

Please let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!

>Part II

[cloudsmateria]

college roommate - leon kennedy x reader

nerdy!reader x leon kennedy

synopsis: you and leon have just started university, finding yourself in the same university visit, he comes and visits your dorm as he's been struggling in his classes. you kick it off, and you invite each other into your different, interesting lives.

words: like 4500

disclaimer: this isn't proof-read and i actually do need to proofread it and i will when i finish it, this also isn't finished. so if u don't wanna read it now and wanna come back to it when it's pristine and complete be my guest, the edit of this will be very edited like literally whole chunks of texts will be different, i just wanted to post something

content warning: kissing, bit of angst, slight smut/almost smut, sexual themes

A loud knock rings through your door, if it had come even a second later you wouldn’t have heard it at all as you were on a one-way path to passing out on top of your notes. 

“Come in.” You mumble, picking your head up off of the desk and watching as a dirt-blonde hunk of a boy you don’t recognise comes through. Maybe it’s one of the frat boys trying to get to know all the girls in his dorm house. 

“Hey. Can I ask a favour?”

“Who are you?”

"I'm Leon, I saw you in my engineering lecture the other day and you looked like you understood what was going on. Then I found out you were in my university building. So here, I am. Help. Please. I’m going to fail and we’re only 3 weeks in." His desperation makes you laugh, something you were shocked you could do in this dazed state after a mind-boggling 8 hours of completing work.

"Oh Leon, I'd love to but I think if I even think about that engineering class for another second right now I might actually drop down and die."

"It can wait, you busy right now? Other than you know, spilling drool all over your papers?”

“Yeah, I was just about to go spill some on my pillow too, I'm exhausted." You say, not entirely joking, and begin to gather your things.

“I get it.”

“We have another engineering lecture tomorrow anyway so you can just catch me then."

"You sure, though? I mean I'm already here." He shrugs and picks up a book from her bookshelf. "How do you read any of these? There are no pictures." You laugh again. 

"You're asking me how I read physics books when you take engineering… Are you sure you picked the right course? You know, you can read it if you want, and would probably benefit from it. If you can even read."

"No thanks, I'll just get you to teach it to me tomrrow. I’ll see you in a bit, Einstein.” 

"You should watch what you call me if you want me to tutor you, that’s usually not free."

"Oh, but the thing is I don't think you're actually going to make me pay for anything. You're too nice for that."

"That's a very bold statement to make to a stranger."

"You'll come round eventually."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Can I just ask you another question? I'm not going to stop annoying you until you answer it the way I want you to."

"Go on." You sigh.

"Have you eaten today? Cause I haven't and I'm hungry."

"Leon-"

"Please."

"Okay, okay, God, you're persistent. Gonna give me a headache." You groan and sit up.

"It’s worth it, you'll need me to keep you sane later in the year."

"Oh really? You think we’re gonna stay friends that long?"

"I know you've got your nerdy brain, but I've been told I have a great personality." You can't tell if he's implying something with that disgustingly stupid joke or if he really is just an idiot. To be fair, he's funny and managed to pull you out your the room you had been hibernating in for the past few days to get ahead of work. You suppose there are worse people you could be forced to talk to.

"Whatever. Just get out of here." You push him towards the door.

"You're not going to eat with me?" You roll your eyes and lock the door, getting dressed into something that wasn't your pyjamas.

…

Now here you were, eating outside with this boy from your lectures when you had just wanted to be at home sleeping. Although it was nicer than you thought it would be, he had insisted on buying you an energy drink to keep your eyes open as you were eating in some random burger shop.

"How come you're struggling?" 

"Been going to too many parties, I've got different priorities."

"..."

"What?" He says defensively.

"Don't make me slap you. You can't be stupid because you got into this university, you're wasting your potential."

"I am not!"

"You're struggling! We're only 3 weeks in! I mean, come on, Leon."

"I don't understand what your problem is, maybe you need to live a little."

"That is rich coming from you. You're going to peak in college and fuck up the rest of your life if you ruin your chance now. And I live fine right now, I go out often enough and put the rest of my time toward my course, like a responsible human being."

"So you're boring?"

"So you're an idiot and can't plan for the future?"

"No, I'm not." He smirks. "And also, I never said I couldn't plan for the future, just that it isn't the only thing I want to focus on."

"Okay, fine, that's it. This is your problem, I'm not tutoring you."

"Got under your skin?" He smiles.

"I'm serious. You're smart if you got into this school, but you're wasting your talent partying and sleeping around."

“You’ve only known me for 20 minutes and you’ve managed to start an argument.”

“I just don’t want to waste my time. If you want me to help with assignments you need to make an effort, and if you want to be my friend, you’re also going to need to make an effort because I’m not going to care about someone who can’t even care about themselves.”

"I care about myself. Why else would I come to you for help on this?"

"Because you can't do it yourself and your friends are too stupid to ask them for help."

"No... Well... Okay fine, yeah that sounds pretty accurate. But in all honesty, I do care about my grade, that's why I'm coming to you. Now you know my intentions, I beg talk about something else, this entire conversation is reminding me of my mom."

"Like what?"

"Like, there's a party next Saturday, and I think you should come with me. You’re pretty entertaining."

"Oh, Leon. You're so clueless, it's pitiful."

"You have to go to the party, it will be fun."

"I have been to parties, I've gone to 2 since the start of the semester. But we have assignments to work on this week."

"One more little party isn't going to kill you. It'll be good, and then we can do the work."

"That's a very backward mindset." 

"You'll thank me, trust me."

"You say the reason you’re struggling is because you’re going to many parties, and immediately proceed to invite me to a party." You shake your head and laugh. “You are something else.”

“So are you coming?”

“I’ll think about it.”

… 

You and Leon had been going to the lectures together ever since, having lunch at points when he wasn’t hoarded by his friends and even managing a few study sessions into his schedule. You came 5 minutes early for the engineering lecture the next day. Flipping through the textbook notes to top up on your pre-reading beforehand, you had right at the back as Leon begged you to over text the previous night to sit there rather than the front so he’d feel comfortable sitting next to you. It doesn't take long for people to start filtering in, and eventually, that blonde-headed boy pops up next to you, leaning his head on your shoulder immediately. 

"Didn't get enough sleep last night." He mutters.

"Up studying?"

"You know me so well." 

“I'm not even going to ask what you were doing." You sigh, fully believing he had either gone clubbing or to another party last night.

"I promise you, I was studying. And you can ask me all the questions you want, I'll try my best to answer. I did go a little off track and I'm not doing well at it but your inspirational speech convinced me to try a bit."

"Really?" You ask excitedly, looking down at him. "Leon, that's great!" You feel his cheeks crease into a smile against your shoulder at your enthusiasm.

"You're more excited about it than I am, that's cute." He chuckles. "Keep talking, my head hurts, your voice helps."

"The lecture starts soon."

"Don't care." 

"I’m not going to talk over the lecturer." You say, flicking his forehead.

"It's just a lot, okay? I'm trying my best, but I might have reached my full capacity last night." He sits up and sighs, rubbing his temples.

“Welcome to university."

"Yeah, whatever. Can we go back to your room after?"

"Sure."

"Thank you."

"Of course." 

The professor finally steps into the lecture hall, and everyone quiets down, preparing for the lesson.

Halfway through, Leon couldn't help but pass out on you again. Your body went rigid, trying to make sure his head wouldn't fall off your shoulder. You pick the paper off of his desk, dragging it toward you as you start to write notes on your own and his paper so he won't miss out on anything.

He's surprisingly cute when he's not cracking annoying jokes and snapping back with snarky remarks. He was even making you lose track of the lecture a bit.

After class, you wake him up and walk him back to your dorm with him, chatting and catching him up on what he missed briefly. When you think about it, you're surprised you only met him yesterday. He feels like someone you've known since secondary school, or maybe he just treats everyone this way. Either way, you wouldn't complain about spending time with him.

"So, we're alone. What do we do?"

"Study?" You say, throwing him a pencil and paper. "Don't ask me stupid questions like that again."

"Come on, we just got out of an hour lecture, we basically already studied."

"A lecture that you slept for half of-"

"And that you caught me up on after."

"We need to make up the time. Now come on, let's work."

"But-"

"Now, Leon."

"Ugh."

…

The next hour wasn't as bad as you had expected it to be, you could still get your work done while simultaneously teaching Leon that content he missed out on. His demeanour quickly became enthusiastic when he saw how proud you were when you understood a concept, and you were genuinely impressed, he caught onto things quickly. After an hour, you both took a break sitting on your bed, him replying to some messages on his phone.

"Hey." You say, poking his arm to draw his attention.

"What?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Making the effort to try, even if it is just a little bit."

"You're definitely making more effort than me." He smiles, leaning his head on your shoulder again.

"If you want to sleep you should just go home, you must be exhausted."

"I'm not leaving you in this depressing room, I'm keeping you company."

"I’m not keeping you from anything? Your phone was blowing up a second ago I assume you have somewhere to be."

"They can wait, I want to stay around for a bit longer. I like the change for once."

"Change?"

"It's quiet, I can think for once. You’re different from the people I’m around smart and stubborn,”

“So you’re aware of the poor choice of people you hang around, you had me fooled for a while.”

“Wait I’m not done, and even after all of that, I can tell that you're a little shy which is adorable. Oh, and my favourite part is how easy you are to annoy."

"I am not."

"You're blushing right now, I can feel your cheek getting hot. Adorable."

"Don’t you even close your mouth?"

"You know I can't, come on, it's not like you mind."

"Oh my god."

"Admit it, I'm fun to be around."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Tell me what you think of me."

"What?"

"Tell me, come on. Please, I'm dying for validation."

"Well. You're nice, and I've never seen you without a smile on your face, it's refreshing.”

“A little more… I know you got it in you.”

“You're not as stupid as you make yourself out to be,. And I honestly can't tell if I'm special or if you treat everyone else this way because you make me feel way more important than I really would be for someone like you."

"You're special, trust me. And that's a stupid question to ask. Do you want a list of the people I've met? The people I’ve made friends with?"

"What?"

"I can count on one hand the real people I've managed to keep around and one of those is my dog. Don't worry about that, because I know you’re gonna be on that list too. I know you think that I have so many friends and I'm surrounded by people all the time, but they're all fake. They're just fun for parties and clubbing when you have nothing else to do."

"But-"

"It's true." He looks at you, his expression becoming serious for the first time since you've met him. "And I've got to tell you, you're different."

"Different?"

"Yeah, you're interesting. You're not fake, and you're actually doing something with your life."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, I think you’ve just surrounded yourself with one particular type of person, and now you’re shocked when you meet someone who’s not an idiot."

"Come on, I've seen the work you've done in these past 24 hours. You were working for at least 25 of them.” 

"You know how to flatter me."

"That's another reason why you should hang out with me more."

"Oh, and why's that?"

"I'm not afraid to admit how much I like you, Einstein. Makes you feel good, doesn’t it?"

"I can't even think about what I should say to that." You say, laughing and burying your head in your hands. "God, you're a mess."

“I suppose, yeah. You’re changing that though.” He lifts your chin up to face him, smiling at your red cheeks. “See? So cute.”

"Why do you have to keep saying things like that?"

"Because you react this way." He grins.

"I hate you."

"Let me ask you something again. Are you going to go to the party on Saturday?"

"I don’t think so."

“Since I’ve got the chance, I think I can change your mind.” He smiles and pulls your face a little closer, close enough for him to feel your shallow breaths against his lips.

"I-" You can't find any words, you're stunned. He's gorgeous, and you can't deny that, but the idea of kissing him feels wrong, you can't do it. Not right now. The thought of getting with someone you're starting to have feelings for is setting off alarm bells, the alarm bells imprinted by your bad experiences from secondary school of guys playing with your emotions. No matter how much your heart is screaming you want to, your mind is screaming no. 

"You're gonna go with me right?" He whispers.

"Okay." You say hoarsely, your legs desperately pressed together.

"Good girl." He smiles, getting up and putting his shoes on. "I'll see you on Saturday." He says, before leaving.

"I'm screwed." You mutter.

… 

Saturday finally rolled around. You weren't even sure how much time you spent with Leon the day before, but you knew you wanted more.  This was starting to become a concern for you. You remember last year, when you were hurt so bad you pledged to never fall for someone again. You can't do this, not with him. You know Leon is exactly that kind of guy, he’s charming, an athlete, with too many friends for his own good, someone who has no reason to be associated with you unless he wanted something, and was patient when it came to getting it. 

And yet, here you were, wearing a simple little black dress and the heels Leon said would match. You pray that the feelings are cut off here, hopefully he sees you as just a friend and just likes to tease. But a little part of you has a sliver of hope that maybe this is real.

Leon came to pick you up from your room, as he was only a floor away. When you opened the door you were met with Leon dressed in a black bottom down with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up which definitely made you feel some kind of way.

"Leon, hi." You say, overly aware of the fabric hugging your skin, you rarely wore tight clothes. 

"Wow." His eyes were stuck to everything that wasn't your face.

"Hey! My eyes are on my face, not my chest."

"I know."

"Leon!"

"Just admiring the view." You ended up crossing your arms to try and hide a bit of your figure.

"Can you stop looking?"

"You look great, don't worry." He says.

"Whatever."

"No, I'm serious. I mean it, you look amazing. Just relax and have fun, okay?"  He puts his arm around your waist, pulling you close. "You look hot. And it's only going to get better. Just try to have a good time, I'll be by your side the whole time.”

"I've been to a party before, you don't need to baby me."

"I know it’s just this one is a big one. They always end in a mess. I've had a couple of close calls with the police."

"That's not what I'm worried about." I'm worried about what I might end up doing with you, she thinks.

"Just tell me if anything makes you uncomfortable and we can go." He smiles and leads you out of the dorm building and into the street.

"How far is it?"

"Only a few minutes away." He says, leading you along the sidewalk.

The walk wasn't too far, it was about 20 minutes of you both drinking from a wine bottle for some pre-game. Time seemed to fly by as you came to the house. Whoever was hosting this party, probably one of Leon's friends no doubt, was rich. The house was huge and the whole thing was vibrating with the music that blasted through it.

"We're here."

"I think it’s going to collapse.."

"Wait until you see inside." He grabs your hand and drags you in, the house packed. You didn't recognise anyone and felt a little intimidated as Leon led you through the crowd of people, pushing them aside. You couldn't believe there were this many students in the town.

He stops at the kitchen, handing you a drink. You hadn't gone to a party this big before, and that was voluntary, this was just too much. You drink it in one to hopefully get you drunk enough to gain a bit of confidence and hand it back to Leon for it to get refilled.

"I didn't know there were this many people here."

"There's usually a lot." He smiles, handing her another drink. "Don't worry, I'll be with you the whole night. You take a shot before starting to sip on the more tame drink Leon had gotten. 

"What do you want to do first?"

"Let’s go find some of my friends.He says, taking your hand and dragging you through the sea of people, most likely dancing, grinding, or drinking.

He pulls you into the living room, finding his friends from one of the lectures and joining in on their conversation. You're introduced and you talk with them, they're all quite funny and sweet. You were happy to have found a fun little group.

The rest of the night is spent with them, the five of you getting progressively drunker and drunker and talking about more and more stupid shit before someone suggests the group should go and dance, you immediately go and hide behind Leon. 

"Dancing is definitely not my thing." You whisper.

"You have to come."

"No way."

"Please." He says, looking into your eyes.

"Why?"

"I want you to."

"Leon."

"If you hate it, I'll make it up to you. Please." He whispers, and you sigh, giving in. "I know you'll enjoy it." He smiles and leads her by the hand into the living room where everyone is.

"Everyone's too drunk to be paying any attention anyway." He says, and the group joins in on the dance. 

After a few more drinks the alcohol started to hit.

"Isn't so bad, is it?" He says after the first few minutes, watching you find your rhythm.

"No, it's fun."

"See, told you."

"Don't let it go to your head, I'm just drunk."

He smiles, spinning you so your back is pressed against his, the two of you continue to dance. He leans down and kisses your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist and grinding into you.

"Leon-"

"It's hard to control myself with you, almost kissed you that time I convinced you to come to this party, could tell you weren’t sure though."

"Because I thought we were just friends."

"That never lasts long, does it? Did you really think it was going to stay that way forever?" He says, running his hand down your thigh.

"We're drunk." You mumble, leaning your head back onto his shoulder. God, you wanted it. You were trying with everything you had to rationalise with yourself. He knew what he was doing.

"That doesn't change the fact that you're irresistible. And that's not the alcohol talking. I've been wanting to do this for a while."

 He smirks, spinning her back around to face him and lifting you up, your legs wrapping around his waist.

"Let's go upstairs,"

"Leon-"

"Shh." He puts a finger over her lips and leads her away, finding the stairs and walking up. “Stop doubting yourself. One thing about you is that you always say no, or doubt yourself, let’s change that for once.”

He takes you to the first room he finds, happening to be a bathroom, opening the door and stepping in, kicking it closed and locking it. He sets you down and starts to kiss you, the alcohol making it a lot more forceful than usual. You kiss back, letting him guide you and set the pace, his hands sliding over her body. 

"You're so fucking beautiful." He mutters, his lips trailing down to your neck. You feel the pressure of his hands pushing you backwards. Your back hits the counter, he lifts you up and settles himself between your thighs.

"Leon-"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure? About me?"

"Yes." He smiles, lifting his head. "Now stop doubting yourself, will you? You're too perfect for that." If you were sober, your mind would've had red lights blaring, trying to protect you, but the alcohol flattened out all thoughts. A hint of doubt crossed your mind instinctually. But his touch is so good, and he's making you feel things that you haven't in a long time.

"I-"

"Come on, tell me how much you want me."

"I really like you, Leon. It's just...I have this feeling that I'll get hurt."

"What are you so afraid of? What can I do to change your mind?" He whispers. "I'll do anything for you." He says, pulling your head down to kiss him. The sweet nothings bring back some bad memories, it's starting to feel a bit like deja vu.

"I've been hurt before, Leon."

"What's his name? I'll kick his ass."

"It was in high school, but it happened too many times."

"You have to stop thinking, just focus on me, okay?"

"Leon."

"Come on." He sighs, pressing a finger to your lips. "I won't let anything bad happen to you. I don't want to lose something because someone in your past ruined everything for you, okay?"

"I don't know."

He sighs. "Do you wanna head home ?"

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not upset. Come on, I'll take you back."

"I didn't mean to ruin the night."

"No, I'm not letting you leave thinking you ruined it. I'm sure a million more parties are happening this week if you feel so bad."

"I'm a mess, Leon. Why do you even like me? I'm not worth it."

"Of course you are." He says, cupping your cheek."You're the only person I can stand to be around for hours while sober. And you can't argue with that."

"Okay."

"I'll get us out of here and you can crash in my room."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Now come on, we're leaving." 

...

The taxi ride home was short and sweet,  but still awkward. You were scared he'd be mad at you for ending the night so abruptly, but when you got into the room he made sure to put his arm around you, whispering reassurement into your ear, stroking your hair.

"You don't have to worry. I'm not angry."

"Really?"

"I don't blame you for wanting to wait."

"It's just, the last time-"

"I'm not him, you can trust me. I've been trying to prove that to you."

"I think... Maybe I can learn to trust you."

"You will, eventually." He says, holding his arms open, gesturing for her to cuddle with him.

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

You cuddle him for a bit, the silence being cut by the sound of the two of you breathing. Leon leans down to kiss capture your lips softly, it feels a lot easier to kiss him back, pressing your body against him.

"I don't know why anyone would ever hurt you." He whispers between kisses. "You're perfect." He runs his fingers through your hair.

"I don't know about that."

"I don't know why you doubt yourself either. Go to sleep, you'll feel better in the morning."

[ticklishraspberries]

Kept Promises (Alex/Henry)

Summary: Henry mentions some things he'd like to do to Alex next time they see each other. Alex holds him to it. (For Tickletober Day #1, "Anticipation". Enjoy!!!)

With each explicit, teasing email, Alex found himself counting down the seconds until he would see Henry again. When they’re face-to-face, Alex is usually the one making Henry blush, but the prince has quite a way with written words, and Alex feels like a fool as he pulls a pillow over his flushed face, grinning.

‘Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you never fight it when I tickle you,’ Henry had written.

‘You must be too distracted by my dazzling smile,’ Alex replied, trying to deflect rather than deny.

He could practically hear the low tone in which Henry would have spoken the next reply. ‘While your smile is definitely dazzling, the reactions your body has to my touch are just as enticing. I notice every twitch of your muscles, every buck of your hips, every hitch in your laughter. And yet, I’ve never felt you wish for it to stop. I’ll prove it next time I see you.’

So, he’d answered: ‘Promise?’ with a wink face/ Alex hadn’t gotten much sleep after replying with that, his heart racing. Sassy replies from him are nothing new, but him feeling flustered by his own boldness is certainly a foreign feeling.

So, obviously, he gets on the next flight to London that he can, like a fool, and now he’s standing in Henry’s room, anticipation bubbling like champagne in his veins. The prince knows it, too, with that damned smile, smug and all-knowing. It makes Alex feel vulnerable, exposed. Not in a bad way, though. It makes him feel seen rather than stared at. If that makes any sense, which Alex assumes it doesn’t. But whatever. His brain is much too preoccupied to make any coherent thoughts.

“I wasn’t aware we had scheduled a visit,” Henry says.

“We didn’t,” Alex replies. “I missed you.”

Henry’s mischievous expression softens, leaning in to press their lips together softly. “I missed you too. I assume the emails were proof enough of that.”

They both chuckle. It’s amazing, really, how they can both be so shy about this, even after all this time. Henry still blushes when Alex calls him baby; Alex still can’t meet Henry’s eye after a particularly teasy statement. Everything still feels new and exciting and oh, so fucking flustering.

“Are you here to help me fulfill my promise?” Henry asks, breaking the silence.

Alex feels heat rise in his face, grateful that his complexion as well as the dim lighting may be hiding it. But Henry is so close to his face, he’s sure he can feel the warmth radiating from his skin.

“Maybe,” he replies. He isn’t sure if stubbornness or embarrassment is what keeps him from answering honestly. It feels like a mixture of both.

Henry takes his time, though. Leads him back onto the bed, makes a whole show of unbuttoning Alex’s shirt for him, delicate and way too fucking slow, and Alex feels goosebumps rising on his chest, his belly, as the cool air touches his skin, as Henry’s fingers barely ghosting the tan flesh.

“Impatient, are you?” Henry smirks as Alex begins to twitch.

“You’re too methodical with everything. Why does undressing me have to be a whole ordeal? You’ve never minded ripping my clothes off before,” Alex says, tone laced with annoyance that is so fake, not even the tabloids would buy it, let alone someone who knows him so well.

“Maybe I like making you squirm,” Henry replies.

Alex mutters something that sounds like, “There are better ways to make me do that,” beneath his breath, but is quickly cut off by the sound of his own surprised laugh, as Henry’s hands finally find his sides and squeeze.

“You were saying?”

He just shakes his head, giggling too much to reply. Normally, it would take much more to make him react like this, but all the teasing, the anticipation, had really gotten to him. It makes every touch tickle more, like Henry’s unlocked some secret cheat code. It certainly feels like cheating, as Alex practically shouts when Henry moves up to his ribs.

“Go ahead. Ask me to stop,” Henry says.

Alex doesn’t say a thing. He just tips his head back and laughs.

In the end, Henry keeps his promise, and proves his point.

[ownworldresident]

Side by Side Chapter 5: Influence

Book: The Royal Romance.

Premise: With new additions to their family, King Liam and Rayne must re-evaluate their relationship dynamic.

Themes: Found family, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, family.

Word Count: 3.2k per chapter, 18 chapters. About 60k.

Note: This story started just after TRR3 ended, and isn't related to TRH. See also Side by Side Masterlist & Master Masterlist Link

After the Homecoming Ball

Rayne

“You could go to them,” she proposed to the table she stood beside. Three sets of eyes landed on her hard, but she couldn’t quite meet them.

“What do you mean?” came Liam’s voice beside her, ever soothing. She smiled, still at the table.

“If you think the court is too concerned to come to the wedding after… after the ball, you could go to them. Convince them that we need to stand strong.” Each word was a little surer. “A personal visit from the King and the…” She swallowed, lifting her gaze to the not-yet-queen, who quirked a brow. Rayne grit her teeth and looked to the Countess directly. She would not be cowed. “The future Queen. That would surely help.”

Only now did she look at them all properly. Constantine considered her words with a frown, Madeleine crossed her arms and watched her like Rayne had stolen her juice box. Liam watched her thoughtfully, before turning to the others.

“That could work.” He tapped his chin. “A show of support, we can unite against the assassins, show them that Cordonia does not and will not bow to such a threat.”

Constantine nodded to his son, a small smile on his face as he then appraised Rayne. Considering his former hostility, this borderline respect was unnerving. Perhaps it was because he had won, and she would not be queen, perhaps it was her significance to Liam, or even their talk during the engagement tour. It seemed unlikely he had simply decided she was suitable for court and consultation.

“We would have to postpone our wedding, darling. That would be tragic.” Feigned hurt, and the need to assert herself, was not a good look on Madeleine, nor was it particularly impressive anymore. Hopefully she would settle once there was a pretty crown on her head. Rayne looked from her to Liam, who’s jaw tightened, and wished she could reach out and touch him. Madeleine spoke again. “I just can’t wait to be married to you.”

“Whilst I appreciate your anticipation, Countess Madeleine,” Constantine addressed her, hands linked behind him, “Lady Rayne’s suggestion has merit. If we can bolster the people’s faith and trust in the monarchy, this could be exactly what we need.”

“And we cannot ask for that trust blindly,” Liam added.

“Precisely.” Constantine nodded, then turned to smile at Rayne. “Thank you for your insight, Rayne.”

It made her uncomfortable when he did not address her with a title.

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

“Of course it makes sense,” Madeleine spoke up. “Though Rayne’s presence here does not. The attempt was aimed at the monarchy, not the common people.” The look she gave her was nothing new; a quick once over to make sure that yes, Rayne was still the same subpar Laotian-American woman she had always been. With a new appreciation for bullet proof clothing.

“It is an excellent idea,” said Liam, emerging from his thoughts. “We will postpone the wedding to visit each of the noble houses in person, to invite them and to reassure them of our strength.” The careful relief in his voice was apparent to Rayne, and she bit back a wider smile. He nodded to her, then turned to Madeleine. “And to answer your question, the attackers targeted Rayne as well. She has just as much stake in this as we do.”

That was a bold statement, and judging by Madeleine’s scowl, she wasn’t the only one to think so. Silence fell again, then a loud clunk outside jarred Rayne’s thoughts. Clutching the chair back before her, she closed her eyes as the din of the ball returned. The lights going out, tripping and falling, the armoured man with a gun pointed at her face… She grimaced, then a warm hand rested on her shoulder, and drew her back to the room.

“A Unity Tour,” she said quietly, and once again all eyes were on her. “That’s what you could call it.” Liam’s hand squeezed her shoulder gently.

“It’s settled, then,” he said to the room, then turned worried eyes toward her. “Thank you, Rayne.”

Present Day

Liam

After three weeks with his young family, Liam's office seemed alien. No matter how much he wished to still be there, the work had piled up in his absence, and he couldn't postpone it forever.

Some things he did not trust to Madeleine; some she refused to do; and some could only be completed or signed off on by him. It seemed that for every task he could delegate there was another he could not. Letters for consideration, documents that had been through council, minutes for missed meetings, memos from council, things that in an everyday capacity took careful time, but would now take a few days of long hours to properly complete.

Many of the notes and letters were preceded by often lengthy congratulations for him and for Rayne which brightened his mood. He had sorted the work into piles according to complexity, time consumption, and urgency, made lists for himself, and now worked quickly with his assistant bringing in a steady supply of coffee. Hours into his work, the door opened again, and Madeleine walked in.

He hadn’t seen her since their argument the day Evelyn and Leo were born and would have been happy for that to continue.

“Husband,” was her opening. The sweetness of her smile meant this would be an unpleasant interaction. Liam looked at his watch. Still early.

“Good morning.” He sipped his coffee. “Thank you for your work in my absence.”

The corner of her mouth quirked. “No thank you is necessary. As this country’s queen, I take my responsibilities seriously.”

Placing his cup down, Liam leant back in his chair. “Nevertheless, I am grateful.”

“Indeed.” She surveyed his desk and the couch against the wall which was currently serving as a second table. Ordered but still crowded with various tasks. “I have a suggestion to permit you to further prioritise your duties as king. Duties which do not pause for you to assist your mistress and children. One can survive without, and the others do not require your presence at their age.”

Liam breathed deeply and displayed none of the irritation at her reference to Rayne as his mistress, or assumptions about his family.

“Get to the point, Madeleine,” he said coolly, patience fading. She smiled and approached the desk, lifting one of the more complex tasks. He knew it was a holdings-related proposal, and also knew that the first paragraph was a lengthy congratulations, with no mention of Madeleine. She frowned, then schooled a warm smile in an impressive transition, and closed the file.

“For the benefit of all involved, I have appointed a nanny to assist Rayne. She will appreciate this offer, coming from her monarch. If not, you may need to convince her it is the best course. For the good of our country.”

“And what makes you think I would do that, knowing as well as you that she has declined that option in the past?”

“Because you will not be there to help her, and just because she is their biological mother does not make her equipped to care for the heirs to the Cordonian throne. You cheating on your fiancé does not qualify your mistress to raise a monarch.”

“That’s enough,” Liam said firmly, feeling the hot flash of anger. “You know full well we agreed upon my relationship with Rayne over a year ago, as a condition of our engagement that you first proposed, I might add. I never cheated on you. You are out of line.”

She placed down the file and narrowed her eyes.

“I am never out of line, husband.”

“That is where you are wrong. I shouldn’t need to remind you that the power here ultimately rests with me.” Months ago, keeping a clear head when she so clearly intended to provoke him would have been difficult. Her words hit hard, but he had more control over his response than she would like.

“That may be, but much of your power rests in the image you present. The family man, with a generous wife allowing you to legitimise your mistress’s children. The mistress, need I remind you, who was never absolved of her part in the Applewood Manor scandal. What would happen if that image failed?”

“Madeleine…”

“It would be so easy.” She pressed a hand to her chest. “Maybe you have a temper?” Her eyes widened. “Maybe you spend more time in the cellar than previously thought? Maybe certain members of your staff are afraid to be near you in the evening?”

“They would never believe such things.”

“Maybe so, yet it was so easy for the public to believe you were holding Rayne hostage last year.”

Liam’s jaw tightened. “This is blackmail.”

“No, dear.” Madeleine smiled again. “This is security. I gave you three weeks, but I won’t cover for you again. You must commit to your formal duties, which will leave Rayne to care for those two alone. You know she is stubborn enough, but how could you let her suffer?”

He didn’t respond immediately, but met her gaze, mind racing as he tried to escape the box she had forced him into.

“I can split my time effectively.”

“You are running solely on caffeine and it isn’t yet noon. You look as if you haven’t slept in days. You will sacrifice your health, and the country will suffer as a result. You need to let me help her, Liam. And you. And your children.” Madeleine glanced at a photograph at the corner of his desk – a smiling photo of himself and Rayne on tour – and sighed. “The heirs to the Cordonian throne need to be taught right, starting now, by someone who understands the gravity of their responsibilities.”

He cleared his throat and considered her case, sipping his coffee, now cool, and measuring his words. “Rayne is the most capable person I know. I trust her completely in the care and upbringing of her children. Appoint help if you must, but if she refuses, respect that.” They locked eyes for a moment. “I will manage my responsibilities regardless.”

Her resolve shifted then, and she ended the discussion. “When the time comes to choose, I hope you remember that I tried to help you.” She swivelled and left the room.

Liam pressed a thumb and forefinger against his temples, mind echoing with Madeleine’s threats and his responses. The lengths she was already willing to go to in order to manipulate him was potentially a precursor to more serious threats in the future. If Rayne wanted assistance he would source it in a heartbeat, but he doubted that would be her choice. Regardless, they would need to be ready.

Drake

Walking into Rayne’s apartments was like walking into another world. He could see why Liam preferred it. The royal apartments were tall and dark and impressive; every vestibule emitted a sense of grandeur, as if the monarch needed reminding of their own wealth and rank. These apartments were smaller, the ceiling lower, and the whole place bright and warm. Natural light shone through open windows to the expansive room, and only upon conscious observation did he realise the lights weren’t even on. There was so much warmth here, beyond the physical sense, and he felt calmer just being here as he crossed to the window.

Liam still worked in his office, not looking to be finished any time soon, and Drake had thought to offer company to Rayne, meagre as it was, as she adjusted again to his absence. As it occurred to him he didn't know where she was, he registered voices in an adjoining room.

"I appreciate the offer but as I have said, I don’t need another set of hands. I am managing fine."

"I have been appointed by the Queen herself to assist. She wishes to ease the pressure on your shoulders, given King Liam has returned to his duties."

The voices approached from the hall leading the the bedrooms and Rayne stepped in, followed by a young, neatly dressed woman with a kind face. Rayne didn’t seem to notice him at first. She cradled Leo in her arms and faced the woman calmly. Drake stood awkwardly beside the window, unsure whether to announce himself or not, and wondered if she realised the kind of authority she commanded.

"Please thank her for the effort but I assure you it is unnecessary," she said, moving through the room. "If, in the future, I require assistance, I will ask for it." She reached the door to the hall and opened it, turning back to the room. For a brief moment, their eyes met. He smiled awkwardly, and she seemed mildly surprised, then smiled and winked. The young woman seemed to struggle with herself for a moment, and sighed.

"As you wish." She gave Rayne a short bow. "You have my credentials and contact information."

"I do, thank you." Rayne nodded, and ushered out the woman, who paused on the threshold, bowed again, and left. Drake was sure that one was to Leo. Rayne shut the door and turned back.

"Hey, Drake." Rayne rested her cheek against Leo’s head, swaying as she moved away from the door and looking as if she'd been doing this for years, not weeks.

"What was that about?" He asked, gesturing at the door. She rolled her eyes.

"Nothing important. Just our benevolent queen trying to force a nanny down my throat."

He chuckled. "Went well for her."

"I don't know what she expected. That I'll suddenly roll over and submit? Cold day in hell." She glanced at the door, then back with a smirk. "You seem surprised. Expecting more New York Waitress than King Liam’s Mistress?" Her accent was still there, but like his it had been watered down and changed in her time here.

"You know that isn't who you are, right?" he said, settling on the arm of a lounge chair.

"Relax, I'm just teasing. For them, though…" She sighed, then focused on her son as he began a quiet protest. "Shh baby, it’s okay. Mommy's okay," she cooed, patting his back. He quieted, and she kissed his head. "There we go."

Drake realised, again, how little he knew about parenting and children. Rayne, conversely, took on this role with as much natural confidence as she did answering the press, calming citizens, and charming nobles. She looked up again.

"I know that many people see me at face value. I'm just the mother—"

"Those are the people Madeleine has poisoned, they—"

"Drake, listen, please." She stopped him, and waited a moment before continuing. “You know as well as I do that refusing to consider an opposing perspective makes us no better than those who think ill of us. I can’t judge them for their beliefs, nor can I ask them to change, but I know I am more than what they say.” She paused, then exhaled sharply. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“Then why are you resisting?”

Rayne tensed, lips pursed, and looked away from him. He had crossed a line. Again.

“Why do I keep having the same conversation with everyone?” she said, exasperated. “The only person who has respected my decision from the beginning is Liam. This is my choice, Drake.” In her arms Leo stirred again. Her expression softened as she turned down to him, then back. “Excuse me.”

As she left the room, Drake ran both hands over his face and cursed his tactlessness. He had come here thinking she might like company, but his challenges were straining their relationship. It wouldn’t be the first one he had ruined. Surely though, after enough attempts, Rayne would see how capable she was, and change her mind.

It took a while for her to return, but when she did he knew for certain it wouldn’t be today.

“Do you understand how little control I have over my life?” she said, seeming much taller than she was. “This is my life, my decision. I will not fall back on expectations because you think it is the best course. You do not decide for me, and do not presume it is your place to try.” She met his gaze unflinching, and after a moment, he nodded.

“You’re right,” he conceded. And stubborn, and brave, and exhausted… “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” Satisfied, she closed her eyes and visibly calmed herself somehow, before sitting on the arm of the next chair with a smile that made him nervous. “Now, I’m glad you came. I have a question for you.”

There seemed an audible click in his mind as he connected her tone with the question. “I really don’t think—”

“Why haven’t you asked Olivia out yet?”

He stared at her, less prepared than he should be considering he’d been asking himself the same thing. “Because I…” he cleared his throat, then assumed what he hoped was a convincing attempt at nonchalance. “Even if I was interested, there’s no way she’d agree.”

Olivia was coming to the palace in a few days, and sure they had a few things planned, but that was all casual. Rayne rolled her eyes.

“Not with that attitude she won’t. Come on, it’s not as if you’re asking her to run a kingdom. She isn’t going to agree if you never actually ask her, and she isn’t going to wait forever.” She grinned, but he was saved from fumbling for an answer by a knock on the hall door. They both turned.

“Expecting anyone?” he asked. She shook her head.

“Maybe Liam is back early?” The hope in her voice was painful to hear. Liam wouldn’t be back for hours.

“I don’t think so,” he said, suddenly unsettled. “I’ll get it.” He stood and stepped forward but she held up a hand.

“You stay right there. Work on that answer.” Rayne winked at him and approached the door, but there was tension in her shoulders.

She paused with a hand on the doorknob, then squared her shoulders, pulled it open, and froze.

---- ----

Side by Side Tag List: @tessa-liam @twinkleallnight @umccall71 @kingliam2019 @indiacater

Permatag List: @leelee10898  @umccall71  @indiacater  @speedyoperarascalparty  @brightpinkpeppercorn  @riseandshinelittleblossom @bella-ca @custaroonie  @thequeenofcronuts  @lodberg  @kuladekiwi  @mfackenthal  @carabeth  @romanticatheart-posts  @blackcoffee85  @whenyourheartskipsabeat @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore

(If you’d like to be added or removed from this list please let me know)

[acourtofthought]

Problematic Arguments Part II

Contains TW: SA / Assault found in the ACOTAR series

It is said that Elucien's and Gwynriels are disgusting for romanticizing scenes that are assault /a violation of their person / SA on Elain and Gwyn (kind of ironic coming from the side who claims Elain being kidnapped, then kissing Az on the cheek in thanks in front of her hysterical sister is romantic 🤔 but I digress).

Now I'm not quite sure how us saying it's meaningful that Lucien and Az were there to try and help the females through their worst moment is romanticizing what happened to them. No one is claiming Lucien or Az were having romantic / inappropriate thoughts. The entire point we're making is that it will be meaningful (not sexy) if Elucien and Gwynriel end up together because their mate (possible mate) will have been there to try to offer comfort and support, to help them in whatever way was possible at the time. If someone experiences something tragic, it's nice to know that you weren't completely alone and that someone can grasp even a bit of what you went through because they were there too.

Honestly though? It's weird when some use arguments like this to attack the other side or as proof of our "lack of intelligence" or how disgusting we are since they are then accusing the author herself of the exact same things:

The start of A Feysand Love Story:

someone grasped my arm and whirled me around. I blinked at the three strangers, dumbfounded as I beheld their sharp-featured faces—free of masks. They looked like High Fae, but there was something slightly different about them, something taller and leaner than Tamlin or Lucien—something crueler in their pitch-black, depthless eyes. Faeries, then.

The one grasping my arm smiled down at me, revealing slightly pointed teeth. “Human woman,” he murmured, running an eye over me. “We’ve not seen one of you for a while.”

I tried yanking my arm back, but he held my elbow firm. “What do you want?” I demanded, keeping my voice steady and cold.

The two faeries who flanked him smiled at me, and one grabbed my other arm—just as I went for my knife. “Just some Fire Night fun,” one of them said, reaching out a pale, too-long hand to brush back a lock of my hair. I twisted my head away and tried to step out of his touch, but he held firm. None of the faeries near the bonfire reacted—no one bothered to look.

If I cried for help, would someone answer? Would Tamlin answer? I couldn’t be that lucky again; I’d probably used up my allotted portion of luck with the naga. I yanked my arms in earnest. Their grip tightened until it hurt, and they kept my hands well away from my knives. The three of them stepped closer, sealing me off from the others. I glanced around, looking for any ally. There were more nonmasked faeries here now. The three faeries chuckled, a low hissing noise that ran along my body. I hadn’t realized how far I stood from everyone else—how close I’d come to the forest’s edge. “Leave me alone,” I said, louder and angrier than I’d expected, given the shaking that was starting in my knees.

“Bold statement from a human on Calanmai,” said the one holding my left arm. The fires didn’t reflect in his eyes. It was as if they gobbled up the light. I thought of the naga, whose horrible exteriors matched their rotten hearts. Somehow, these beautiful, ethereal faeries were far worse. “Once the Rite’s performed, we’ll have some fun, won’t we? A treat—such a treat—to find a human woman here.”

I bared my teeth at him. “Get your hands off me,” I said, loud enough for anyone to hear.

One of them ran a hand down my side, its bony fingers digging into my ribs, my hips. I jerked back, only to slam into the third one, who wove his long fingers through my hair and pressed close. No one looked; no one noticed.

“Stop it,” I said, but the words came out in a strangled gasp as they began herding me toward the line of trees, toward the darkness. I pushed and thrashed against them; they only hissed. One of them shoved me and I staggered, falling out of their grasp. The ground welled up beneath me, and I reached for my knives, but sturdy hands grasped me under the shoulders before I could draw them or hit the grass.

They were strong hands—warm and broad. Not at all like the prodding, bony fingers of the three faeries who went utterly still as whoever caught me gently set me upright.

“There you are. I’ve been looking for you,” said a deep, sensual male voice I’d never heard. But I kept my eyes on the three faeries, bracing myself for flight as the male behind me stepped to my side and slipped a casual arm around my shoulders.

I stepped out of the shelter of my savior’s arm and turned to thank him.

Standing before me was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen.

And later in the series....

And there you were. Human—utterly human, and being dragged away by those piece-of-shit picts, who wanted to … ” He shook his head. “I debated slaughtering them then and there, but then they shoved you, and I just … moved.

And when you were gone, I found those three picts. I broke into their minds, reshaping their lives, their histories, and dragged them before Amarantha. I made them confess to conspiring to find other rebels that night. I made them lie and claim that they hated her. I watched her carve them up while they were still alive, protesting their innocence. I enjoyed it—because I knew what they had wanted to do to you.

By definition, Feyre was a victim of SA and her unknown (to her) mate was the one to save her. Yet after what was a horrific experience, Feyre was still able to think of how Rhys was the most beautiful male she'd ever seen. Then in ACOMAF, we get confirmation that Rhys did feel a "romantically coded" pull to Feyre that night because he suspected they were mates, that she was the most beautiful female he'd ever seen even right after her assault.

Rhys later goes on to tell us that he fell in love with Feyre UTM after she was held captive, beaten by the Attor and fighting for her life. We're also told the mating bond snapped into place for him shortly after she was killed then reborn, after she herself was struggling with what she had done to the fairies.

Someone can dislike the authors writing, they can dislike the message they think she's sending. But turning a blind eye to the fact that SJM has previous taken what was the most horrific moment of a females life and eventually connected it to her mate in a "romantically coded" way seems a bit foolish when you're trying to attack others in the fandom.

The attack itself upon the character is not romantic, it's ridiculous when anyone tries to claim that's what Elucien's and Gwynriels are saying. What is poignant is how the FMCs trauma and the MMCs trying to stop it from happening forever linked / bonded two characters together which in some cases can lead to a meaningful relationship. In each scenario it's the male and ONLY the male who ended up as the one to first go to the female.

I stepped out of the shelter of my savior’s arm and turned to thank him. Standing before me was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen.

“The first had just unbuckled his belt when Azriel arrived.” Silent, unending tears streamed down Gwyn’s face. “Azriel slaughtered all of them within moments. He didn’t hesitate. But I could barely move, and when I tried to get up … He gave me his cloak and wrapped me in it.

Lucien staggered a step forward as Elain was gripped between two guards and hoisted up (at this point he's never met Elain and hadn't suspected she was his mate)

“That is enough.” Lucien surged for Elain, for the Cauldron.

the king’s power leashed him, too

Elain was still shivering on the wet stones, her nightgown shoved up to her thighs, her small breasts fully visible beneath the soaked fabric. Guards snickered.

Lucien snarled at the king over the bite of the magic at his throat, “Don’t just leave her on the damned floor—” There was a flare of light, and a scrape, and then Lucien was stalking toward Elain, freed of his restraints.

Water poured forth, Lucien hoisting Elain in his arms and out of the way.

In the case with Elucien, it's not that Feyre or Nesta wouldn't have wanted to go to Elain, we see Nesta fighting the guards. But SJM specifically wrote it so Lucien and only Lucien was the one who actually took steps towards her, who was able to break free of the hold on him (rather than Nesta breaking free from the guards), to worry about her being on the ground and to hold her in his arms. SJM could have written that any other way but she chose to make it known that Lucien, again and again, tried to get to Elain, before he even knew what she was to him. SJM chose to have Az wounded on the ground yelling at the King over Mor, Cassian wounded on the ground reaching for Nesta and LUCIEN trying to get to Elain.

vs...

We rushed across the rugs, dodging tables and furniture. I chanted her prayers all the while. Azriel slid back the curtain— Elain was in her nightgown. Gagged, wrists wrapped in steel that glowed violet. Her eyes went wide as she saw us—Azriel and me— (SJM made sure that we knew Elain saw both Az and Feyre there together. It's confirmed in SF when Elain tells Nesta "and I remember Feyre rescuing me".)

And while it's possible that Elucien does not end up together, every single other time a mating bond has snapped into place on page, in any of her series, it has proven to have endgame coding regardless of the circumstances surrounding it.

It was the author who told us that finding your mate is a blessing from the Cauldron and the AUTHOR who chose to have Elucien's bond snap when it did.

In both the Feysand and Elucien scenarios from above, Feyre and Elain felt apprehension towards Rhys and Lucien at first yet STILL ended up with them (which will be the next Problematic Arguments post). So again, anyone using these arguments as evidence of our lack of intelligence or proof of how "disturbing" this side if the fandom is being willfully ignorant of the way the author writes.

[dearweirdme]

Hello and Good Morning.

First of all, let me state that I am 1000% a fan of Taehyung Kim. 1000%! Tati is my favorite of all the BTS characters and I still say that 'I Borahoy You' is a genius quote.

However, I feel it is my CIVIC DUTY to also alert you to some---concerns I, and The Fandom, have regarding the behavior of Taehyung (who IS my bias and who I honestly am an extreme fan of)--specifically regarding 'false promises' that another anon has helpfully addressed out of the goodness of their heart.

First of all, I have to let you all know that I have recently finished an online course in Deciphering the Words of Criminals-- so I feel this makes me perfect in being able to tell what Taehyung (my bias, I promise he is) means vs what he actually says---even better than he does! When I tell you that this course was very, very prestigious, please believe me. We are talking about an Enigma Machine Codebreaking, FBI Behavioral Analysis Unit level skillset here. Trust me, I would not waste my $39 on just any old course.

Anyway, I do think (or I do know for sure but let me not be arrogant) that Taehyung makes false promises. What people without my skill might not realise is that whenever Taehyung uses the word 'I' (his native tongue included) this is actually a coded promise and should be taken as 100% conclusive intent and a direct promise of whatever he says before or following it. Now you might think this is unreasonable. That's because, for most people, it is--but via this online course, I also learned how to apply my deciphering skills to specific individuals based on what I already thought about them---in a professional way, of course. So, situationally, the rules that apply to Taehyung might not apply to everyone, or anyone, else and this is 100% fair because my opinion matters and makes up 99.4% of the final read and decipherisation of what I know Taehyung actually means when he says what he says.

Now I know how much you people value 'proof' on here, so I have collected and compiled some statements from The Fandom about all the ways they feel let down by Taehyung (my idol and fave, he really is) and his false promises.

Swerved Anon- "As much as it sickens me to say, I haven't been able to stan Taehyung since he dyed his hair black. I feel like I was set up by the bold colors and icy blondes. Black just came out of nowhere! It was such a swerve. I felt so let down"

Disappointed Anon- "When Taehyung first introduced us to Yeontan, I thought that dog was so pretty and cute that it had to be a girl. Then I found out he was a boy and I was like 'Wow, thanks a lot for lying, Taehyung! >:{"

Confused and Embarrassed Anon- "When I first joined ARMY, I didn't realise that V and Taehyung were the same person so imagine how embarrassed I was when I claimed them both as my bias and bias wrecker! My friends laughed at me for a week all because of you, Taehyung. I hope you and your split personality are happy with yourself!"

Confused and Ashamed Anon- "Honestly, I thought V-Live was called V-Live because V owned it and it was all about him except he lied, because it wasn't. It was just V-Live meaning everyone so I really don't know why he'd go and call it V-Live when it had nothing to do with him in the first place???

Furious and Lonely Anon--"Taehyung needs to keep his hands of my---I mean Jimin's---husband!!! What happened to alllll the distance we saw between Taekook in 2018? Now they're all over each other?? How is that not false promise to only love me---I mean, Jimin? {:(((("

Sober Anon---"Taehyung said he hadn't drank for two months but JK said he did so clearly, Taehyung has never told the truth in his whole life."

~fin

And there you go. This is just a small portion of stories from The Fandom from Fans who feel personally let down and fully betrayed by Taehyung.

Please believe me when I say, these are not my personal beliefs or sentiments. This is an unbiased review of my bias. I love Taehyung, even if he is a fully confirmed liar in my eyes. Despite all the false promises and disappointments, I love him still. No matter what other criminal behavior he engages in, I will always be there to explain it, in depth, to people who never asked me to in the first place--because that's how much of a fan I am.

Usually, I would charge for such expert profiling but since giving my unsolicited opinion and putting words in people's mouths happens to be a hobby of mine, I'm going to waive my fee. I just hope you're now all fully aware of what kind of man Kim Taehyung is and you will all act appropriately now that I've enlightened you and changed your mind.

Hi anon!

I am so glad I have you to open my eyes 😂😂😂

[voluptuarian]

"New Turkey" Introductory Reader

I did so much research for my paper that the final product barely scratched the surface of what I've read or looked up in the course of writing it. As such, I feel like the scope of my paper is very basic compared to the depth of the issue. (And considering how quickly I wrote it, frankly I'm not that sure of its actual writing quality.)

My research topic was current Turkish politics, centering on recent policies of President Erdogan and his party, the AKP, who have dominated the country since the mid-2000s. In particular I wanted to look into the roots of, and meaning behind a sort of party motto/discourse/policy umbrella which started in 2014 when Erdogan became president and announced the arrival of a "New Turkey."

This motto has frequently been compared to "Make America Great Again," and is just as bold and lacking in specific meaning. It is also the mission statement behind much of what's happening in Turkey's social and political climate right now, so for anyone interested in what's been going on in Turkey in the recent past, or curious about where the country's current direction is leading, the "New Turkey" idea is central to everything.

Rather than just delete all my references I thought I would share them here for anyone who's interested. Consider this a bit of "New Turkey" intro. It includes most of what I used in my bibliography and some other sources I looked at but didn't get to include.

I'm including some newspaper articles here-- these are all very introductory-- they're helpful for people with no background at all on Turkey, as well as for anyone who's interested and doesn't want to go through an entire paper's worth of books and articles. All these should be accessible for most people, I think.

“Erdogan Elected Turkey’s President, Promises ‘New Era.’”

"21st Century Will Be the Century of Türkiye: Erdoğan."

"Recep Tayyip Erdogan Sworn in as Turkish President; Swearing-in Ceremony Caps Monthslong Campaign."

"Erdoğan's split personality: the reformer v the tyrant"

"Turkey, lavish new presidential palace proves divisive."

"Turkey Rages at Shoddy Construction of 'Earthquake-Proof' Homes."

(Also looking up information on the Gezi Park protests from 2013 or Fethullah Gülen and his movement will be helpful for newbies as well.)

Behind the cut is all the more scholarly stuff. I've included entries in citation form so all the info you could need is there; I've also included links to everything but I don't know how many will be accessible everywhere, or to people without accounts, or even usable (I had a couple links stop working during the process of writing this.) Hopefully even if you can't access them all through the links provided, looking up the article information or even reaching out to the author will get you access. Happy reading!

The progression and consolidation of erdoğanist authoritarianism in the New Turkey - Bilge Azgın https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14683857.2020.1764277

Bâli, Aslı Ü., 'The “New Turkey” At Home and Abroad', in Amal Ghazal, and Jens Hanssen (eds), The Oxford Handbook of Contemporary Middle Eastern and North African History, Oxford Handbooks (2020; online edn, Oxford Academic, 9 June 2015), https://doi.org/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780199672530.013.29‌

Bourcier, Nicolas. “Erdogan, the Enduring Reinterpreter of Turkish History.” Le Monde.fr, October 29, 2023. https://www.lemonde.fr/en/international/article/2023/10/29/erdogan-the-enduring-reinterpreter-of-turkish-history_6212761_4.html.

Cagaptay, Soner. “Making Turkey Great Again.” The Fletcher Forum of World Affairs 43, no. 1 (Winter 2019): 169–78. https://doi.org/https://www.jstor.org/stable/45289835.

Çevik, S. B. (2024). Grandiose dreams, mega projects: Ottoman nostalgia in ‘new Turkey’. International Journal of Applied Psychoanalytic Studies, 21(1), e1846. https://doi.org/10.1002/aps.1846

Heper, M., & Toktas, S. (2003). Islam, Modernity, and Democracy in Contemporary Turkey: The Case of Recep Tayyip Erdoğan. The Muslim World, 93(2), 157-185. http://proxy.lib.ohio-state.edu/login?url=https://www.proquest.com/scholarly-journals/islam-modernity-democracy-contemporary-turkey/docview/216437044/se-2

ERDOGAN'S GRAND VISION: Rise and Decline - Hillel Fradkin, Lewis Libby (2013)https://www.jstor.org/stable/43556162?searchText=&searchUri=&ab_segments=&searchKey=&refreqid=fastly-default%3A07607ba3d65e40f3231e2694b7b6b306&seq=2

Eissenstat, Howard. "Recep tayyip erdoğan: From 'illiberal democracy' to electoral authoritarianism (born 1953)" in Dictators and Autocrats: Securing Power Across Global Politics, ed. Klaus Larres (Abingdon, Oxfordshire, U.K: Routledge, 2021) https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/oa-edit/10.4324/9781003100508-25/recep-tayyip-erdo%C4%9Fan-howard-eissenstat

Cinar Kiper, “Sultan Erdoğan: Turkey’s Rebranding into the New, Old Ottoman Empire”, http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2013/04/sultan-Erdoğan-turkeys-rebranding-into-the-new-old-ottoman-empire/274724/

Kocamaner, Hikmet. “How New Is Erdoğan’s ‘New Turkey’?” Middle East Brief, no. 91 (April 2015): 1–9. https://doi.org/https://www.brandeis.edu/crown/publications/middle-east-briefs/pdfs/1-100/meb91.pdf.

‌McKernan, Bethan. 2019. “From Reformer to ‘New Sultan’: Erdoğan’s Populist Evolution.” The Guardian, March 11, 2019, sec. World news. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/mar/11/from-reformer-to-new-sultan-erdogans-populist-evolution.

Populism, victimhood and Turkish foreign policy under AKP rule - Mehmet Arısan https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14683849.2022.2106131?src=recsys

Development of the 'New Turkey' Media Image: Substantive Aspect - N. E. Demeshko; V. A. Avatkov; A. A. Irkhin https://eds.s.ebscohost.com/eds/detail/detail?vid=0&sid=ea94c4bc-4632-4ee4-a8c2-df8b9f5973bf%40redis&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWRzLWxpdmUmc2NvcGU9c2l0ZQ%3d%3d#AN=edsdoj.

Smith Reynolds, Aaron. “The ‘New Turkey’ Might Have Come to an End: Here’s Why.” giga. https://www.giga-hamburg.de/de/publikationen/giga-focus/the-new-turkey-might-have-come-to-an-end-heres-why.

Solomon, Hussein. “Turkey’s AKP and the Myth of Islamist Moderation.” Jewish Political Studies Review 30, no. 3/4 (2019): 128–35. https://www.jstor.org/stable/26801121.

Yavuz, M. Hakan. “Social and Intellectual Origins of Neo-Ottomanism: Searching for a Post-National Vision.” Die Welt des Islams 56, no. 3–4 (November 28, 2016): 438–65. https://doi.org/10.1163/15700607-05634p08.

Media in New Turkey: The Origins of an Authoritarian Neoliberal State - Bilge Yesil https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=w3tMDAAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PP1&dq=%22new+turkey%22+origins+erdogan&ots=iqHojS41ci&sig=KC201icwuSS6tseeNml_IFMnZWU#v=onepage&q=%22new%20turkey%22%20origins%20erdogan&f=false

Yilmaz, Ihsan. "Islamic Populism and Creating Desirable Citizens in Erdogan’s New Turkey." Mediterranean Quarterly 29, no. 4 (2018): 52-76. muse.jhu.edu/article/717683.

The AKP and the spirit of the ‘new’ Turkey: imagined victim, reactionary mood, and resentful sovereign- Zafer Yilmaz https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14683849.2017.1314763

[saturnns-star]

H (a-pansexual-they-it) called my friend a suicide baiter and that was my final straw. I said their name, don’t attack them but I don’t want any of their fucking shit on my damn blog. JD, Jdimensions, Has put in her dni that she does not want any drama she is related in put onto the public; she says, “it is not right to drag people who are not involved in drama into it.” Yet she continues to post about us and threatens to say our names. First she draws child pornography, and now she breaks her own rules. Her friend, H, also calls my friend who actually struggles with suicide and abuse, a suicide baiter. Images, So you know I’m not lying;

Really didn’t wanna make this a public thing but they really ticked me the fuck off. And well, Child pornography doesn’t really deserve to be private;

proof to them admitting they drew it, My friend here had gotten into an argument with JD and told her their problems with how they treat them and talked about the pornography and JD had responded with “why did you tell them” which proves that they DID draw it.

This had to come out eventually, expose my name to your furry followers (WHICH YOU OPENLY SAID YOU HATE FURRIES) i literally do not give a fuck, because being stood up to is deserved after treating a friend like a dog and drawing child porn. You may have thought drawing your friend with a tit in their mouth on gartic phone was a wee knee slapper, but child porn is actually a pretty hefty time to serve..

The suicide baiter claim is truly false, their are many times when my friend has had suicidal thoughts. They were open about it yes but in what way does that make them a suicide baiter? I’m gonna need a pretty damn good reason as to why they would fake pointing a knife to their chest at 11 and thinking of overdosing. It is seriously so fucked up to even call someone you were FRIENDS with that. That really just proves it was all fake wasn’t it, you pretended to be friends with them only to accuse them and slander them with this. That is utterly so fucked up I’m in shock. I do not want this on my blog believe me, but when you call my friend a suicide baiter its a pretty big fucking deal especially considering the times i have cried just to make sure they didn’t leave this god damn fucking world.

And if you’re talking about my other friend, literally fuck you. Again, not okay. I have literally watched them almost die. And i will not do it again. That is just utterly fucked up to call anyone who is struggling with relapsing or suicidal thoughts that. I’m genuinely so fucking done with you guys making all these bold fucking claims with no context or proof its not even funny.

The reason I provided proof in my statements is because your petty asses probably would’ve said i was lying, also, you should have me blocked so you won’t be messaging me begging me to take this post down or reblogging this and calling me names.

Keep adding onto this post cause lordy you guys have done a ton in the past few weeks pookies 🙃💔

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 10th October

Ah, and it's the Crickets! Or Buddy Holly and the Crickets? I'm not 100% what the convention is, when crediting them, to be honest. Either way, they're here, and with an absolute banger that feels like a pattern for rock and pop music for years to come.

That'll Be The Day - The Crickets (peaked at Number 1)

I may be wrong, but this seems to be the song that kept last week's Tammy off the top chart spot. Which... yeah, correct call, good job, everybody! There are number 1 songs that I question, but this really isn't one of them - it's such a breath of fresh air, and immediately has me tapping my foot along with the Crickets.

There's something kind of prototypical about it, the way that these four (honestly pretty dweeby-looking) guys have slimmed the rock and roll band down to the bare essentials of singer, lead guitar, bass guitar, drums. Add some backing vocals, and you've got a streamlined set-up that basically remains the pop/rock standard nowadays, with keyboard as an optional extra. Rock and roll, up until now, has been dominated by brassy sounds, horns and sax, and it feels like a bold move, stepping away from all that to concentrate on four guys and their guitars.

It's a song written by Buddy Holly, apparently after he saw the The Searchers at his local cinema. Inspired by John Wayne's character saying the title line, he went and wrote a song - but initially his record company had him singing it with a completely different band, the Three Tunes. It only became a hit in this version, though, and you can see why - everyone involved's really giving it their all, here.

We start with this short but iconic guitar lick. It's been imitated since, and it's super recognisable, even if you don't think you know the song. It's a great example of something simple but effective - it sets up the tone of the song, then launches us straight in, no need to mess around.

We start with the chorus, and it's a chorus that repeats loads throughout the song, so by the end of it, you know the refrain pretty well: That'll be the day, when you say goodbye / Yes, that'll be the day, when you make me cry / You say you're gonna leave, you know it's a lie / 'Cause that'll be the day when I die. It's beautifully harmonised by the Crickets, with this simple shuffle-y guitar and drum pattern underneath it, nothing fancy. It all works very well.

The more I think about the lyrics, the less I'm sure that they work, on a literal level. The intention's fairly clear: Buddy's love keeps saying they're going to leave him, but he doesn't really believe they mean it, or that they're going to break his heart. But should I interpret the lyric about the day when I die as a statement of confidence ("My love will stay faithful until death do us part") or as something a bit more sinister ("Well, if my love actually leaves me, I might just keel over and die")?

On an unrelated but also confusing note, what's he trying to get at with the line about how you give me all your lovin' and your turtle dovin' / All your hugs and kisses, and your money, too? I get that all these things are meant to be proof that Buddy's love really does love him and won't leave him, but adding money to the list just sounds like he's admitting to being their sugar baby, or something? Or at least taking money off them. There's something a little unintentionally creepy about it, a sort of vaguely toxic, manipulative "well, you give me all your money, so you can't leave me now" vibe. Which I'm almost certain isn't the intention here, but still.

These are nitpicks, and honestly, you don't really notice them when you listen to the song, because it's all just so appealingly packaged. Buddy's voice has this really distinctive hiccup to it, and a way of tripping of small words like "well" until they almost sound more like "well-ah". He leans into notes where he needs to, then hangs back when he needs to, and he occasionally dips into this lower register, without it sounding fake or silly. It's pretty great.

The song's also well structured so that it feels like it isn't just repeating itself - the chorus does repeat a lot, but you've also got moments where the backing singers drop out dramatically for a line, you've got a solo to break things up, and you've got the final verse shaking up the rhythms with this syncopated "when you make me cry" line, all punctuated by drum beats - the latter's probably my second favourite part of the song, after th eintro. It's just enough that the track feels like it goes somewhere, keeping your interest through to the end.

The solo's also just good - we get some proper guitar noodling, but in the middle there's also this deeper, chuggier bitthat kind of sounds like the blues rock that starts coming through later on, in the 1960s. It's a riff that's been hinted at under the surface throughout the track, but that really comes to the fore in the solo, and I love it! Third best part of the song?

I also enjoy the ending. There's a good solid "that'll be the day that I die" that Buddy could have ended on, but instead he chooses to repeat a line a few times, the track fading out to a relaxed, that'll be the day, ooh hoo and a little guitar flourish to match the one at the start. It's a confident move, giving up the big, resounding ending for something more laid-back, reflecting Buddy's confidence throughout the rest of the song. He sounds chill, you know - channelling some of that John Wayne coolness, perhaps?

I really like this song. I liked it before I got to it, and I still really like it. It's got a garage rock feel, almost, a little bit less slick and more "four kids messing around on guitars". Which is a template that we're going to be seeing a lot more of, in future. And it's just so well made! Well worth a listen.

Favourite song of the deceptively nerdy-looking bunch: That'll Be the Day

[thenasoneshots]

FandomMas 2023 Day 5 - Athena

Fandom: Ace Attorney Prompt: “It’s bold of you to assume I haven’t eaten my entire advent calendar.” Reader's Relations: None

Other Notes: Sorry I didn’t post one yesterday, I didn’t have any ideas and by the time I got around to when I would normally write them (before I got to sleep) it was already late, so I just wanted to sleep, but I will try to write two today.

“(Y/n)……” “Yes, Athena?” I replied, turning to face her, and looking up from the case file I was reading through. “Why are advent calendar chocolates so small?” She wined, sitting down next to me on the sofa in the agency, stretching herself over my lap, causing me to giggle, as I started to stroke my fingers through her hair gently, “I don’t know, Athena, but I’ll have a bet it’s because they’re meant for small children, and said children normally want to open them before breakfast and chocolate isn’t a good breakfast food.” “But chocolate’s so good! Why can’t they be bigger?” “You’ll just have to put up with it, Athena. There’s nothing I can do about it, did you remember to open today’s door?” “Of course. It’s bold of you to assume I haven’t eaten the entire thing already.” I giggled to myself, “How did I guess you already did that? And before you ask, no you’re not getting any of mine!” “You’re my favourite person, (Y/n)!” I rolled my eyes again, feeling my face turn slightly pink as I chuckled trying to conceal it, knowing she was just trying to butter me up to get my chocolate, “That isn’t going to work, Athena. You’re not going to get any of mine, no matter how much you try to butter me up.” “That’s not what I was trying to do!” “Sure… I don’t believe you, Athena.” “Oh come on!” My head shot up immediately at the outburst from Trucy, causing her to squeak, “Polly, look at this scene again and tell me they’re not dating!” My face turned bright red at the statement from Trucy as Apollo turned to look as well, “Trucy, if they were dating I’m sure we’d know by now. Athena’s just being herself.” “Hey!” “Hmph. Well then, I’m sure Daddy agrees with me.” “Unfortunately, Trucy, I’m with Apollo on this. We’d all know if (Y/n) and Athena were dating.” “But just look at the scene! The fact that Athena is letting (Y/n) rake her hands through her hair is proof enough! Athena’s expressed several times before that she doesn’t like anyone touching her hair, yet she’s not protesting to (Y/n) raking her hands through it!” Trucy spoke out, sitting down.

I was still trying to get rid of the blush on my face when I quickly removed my fingers from Athena’s hair, “Trucy, please stop. You can’t force two people to be dating by just willing it into existence. Especially when you don’t even know how they feel about each other, or if they’re dating other people.”

“(Y/n)! Take this off my head now!” Athena protested as I refused to untie the blindfold from over her eyes. “Nope! It’ll ruin the surprise if I do!” I replied as I booped her on the nose, sitting down on the sofa opposite her, taking out my guitar that I’d been gifted as a birthday present, before giving a nod to Trucy who bounced over and removed the blindfold from Athena’s head as I started singing, “We're far apart, in every way, but you're the best part of my day and sure as I breathe the air, I know we are the perfect pear. On a prickly path that goes on for miles, but it's worth it just to see you smile and I cannot be pulled apart from the hold you have on my heart and even if the world tells us it's wrong, you're in my head like a catchy song. The seasons change, and leaves may fall, but I'll be with you through them all and rain or shine, you'll always be mine. On a prickly path that goes on for miles. You're the only one who makes it all worthwhile and you should not blame me too, if I can't help fallin' in love with you,” as I finished singing, I felt my face turn bright red and I looked up at Athena to see her face the same colour, but before I could say anything, she’d pounced on me and kissed me. I blinked, not expecting her to feel the same, but I wrapped my arms around her, kissing back before breaking off when I remembered the others in the Agency. “Polly, you owe me!” “What?! Oh come on, Trucy, that’s not fair, you knew they liked each other. You were the one who orchestrated this whole confession!” “You still lost the bet, Polly, hand over the money!” Trucy persisted, holding out her hands towards Apollo. At this point I was too busy laughing at Apollo’s face to get mad at the two of them for betting on mine and Athena’s relationship, as Apollo begrudgingly took out a note, placing it in Trucy’s hands. She pocketed it and smirked, looking back at me and Athena, “Oh yeah, I bet Polly that you two would be together by the end of the year, and looks like I won by a week.” —------------------END OF ONESHOT Again, sorry for not posting yesterday, but I’ll get today’s written as well before I go to sleep.

[hossam-hassan-eg]

Best Summer Makeup Products 2023

By switching out your makeup for the summertime, you’ll be able to keep your makeup looking fresh and vibrant all season long.

A single layer of sunscreen before you move onto anything else. Check out my top recommendations for the best sunscreen.

Sun Bum Original SPF 50 Sunscreen Lotion

Original Sunscreen Lotion — SPF 50 This moisturizing sunscreen formula will protect your skin from harmful UVA/UVB rays while enriching your skin with Vitamin E, an antioxidant that helps to neutralize free radicals, which are the main cause of premature skin aging, Sun Bum Original Scent: People say it smells like summer. We like that.

On the days when you want to add some extra colour to your face, you should use a tinted moisturizer or a BB cream. These will give you a subtle hint of colour without looking cakey. To add a sun-kissed glow, use a bronzing powder or cream. You can also use a highlighting cream with a bit of shimmer to accentuate your features.

For a summery look, You use a bronzer or blush to give your cheeks a little extra color and life. My current go-to is Dormi Glimmering body shimmer it has a pinkish-peachy hue that looks so natural and pretty and it also goes perfectly with Dormi Veil face & body foundation.

Our top recommended shimmer is

Dormi Glimmering body shimmer

Dormi Glimmering body shimmer is used to highlight and accentuate areas of the skin. It leaves your skin sparkly, glowing, radiant, and hydrated. Dormi Glimmering body shimmer can be applied anywhere to add a glow — all over your face, neck, cleavage, under arms, thighs, and shoulders. Focus on areas that naturally catch the light.

For your eyes, opt for waterproof mascara and an eyeliner that won’t smudge. A waterproof eyeliner is especially important when it’s hot and humid. To finish off the look, use a bright lip colour that won’t fade and a lip balm with SPF.

From there, I like to use a light, dewy foundation for a natural, glowing finish. I’m currently loving

Dormi Veil face & body foundation

since it’s lightweight, yet provides enough coverage to even out my skin tone.

This New instant body enhancer from Dormi . It offers a natural glow and is lightweight and smooth. And yes, it’s great for covering veins, spots, scars and more without transferring on to clothing, once it has set properly, its waterproof, transfer-proof & smudge-proof, Use it on its own for beach days, night outs, and more.

To finish the look, You can add some mascara, a light lip gloss, and a bit of highlighting cream to your cheekbones. This gives you a natural and glowing summer look without having to put in too much effort.

Fortunately, there are some reliable eyeshadow palettes that provide a variety of shades and finishes. For example, the Urban Decay Naked palettes are a classic, offering a range of both warm and cool tones that are perfect for creating everyday looks. If you’re looking for something with more of a statement, Dormi Day & Night Palette is a great choice, providing a mix of warm and bold shades that are great for creating dramatic looks. For those who want a little more sparkle in their life, The Queen Nefertiti Eyeshadow Palette is a great option, offering a selection of 20 shimmery shades that will bring some sparkle to your look.

No matter what your needs are, there’s an eyeshadow palette out there that’s sure to make you look and feel your best. With so many options available, it can be hard to know where to start, but with a little research, you can find the perfect palette for you.

Our Top Picks

Best Overall The Queen Nefertiti Eyeshadow Palette

The Queen Nefertiti Eyeshadow Palette from Dormi is the perfect way to bring out your inner royalty. This ultra-pigmented, waterproof, and smudge-resistant palette has 20 carefully chosen colors inspired by the beautiful Queen Nefertiti and the unique colors of ancient Egypt. With long-lasting wear and a soft texture, these shades will make you look and feel like a true queen. Get the perfect look and make a statement with this stunning eyeshadow palette

It is okay to use tan oil on the beach. Tan oils are designed to help the skin retain moisture and keep it hydrated. When applied to the skin, they help to reduce the risk of skin damage. They are also great for helping to get a nice, even tan.

Overall, choosing the right tanning oil can make all the difference in achieving the perfect golden glow. With the right product, you can enjoy a safe and healthy tanning experience.

Here are the best tanning oil available.

Best Overall: Dormi Fast Brazilian Tan Oil

Dormi Fast Brazilian tan oil will get you tanned Brazilian color. it is the best to use on your skin because it is 100% natural, helps you to get sexy attractive skin color without any skin damage, Brazilian tan oil have full of vitamins that help your skin look healthy and moisturize your skin.

[homeimgs]

Retro Patio Furniture - Add Color and Style to Your Outdoor Living Space

Retro Patio Furniture - Add Color and Style to Your Outdoor Living Space vintage patio furniture comes in many beautiful colors and is easy to maintain. It is also durable and multifunctional. If you are thinking about investing in this type of patio furniture, read on to learn more about the benefits of vintage furniture. Listed below are just a few of the advantages of vintage patio furniture. You will be glad you did. Let us take a look at a few of these advantages. If you want to enjoy your outdoor space, buy retro furniture and enjoy its ambiance.

Vintage patio furniture has a variety of colors

While the table and four chairs are the most common kind of vintage patio furniture, you can also find many other pieces, including colorful metal plant stands and beautifully worn wood tables. All of these items can be found individually, or you can purchase a set that matches. Many pieces are available in different colors to match your personal style. You can choose from a variety of styles and colors for your new patio furniture. For more information about how to find vintage patio furniture, check out our Patio Design Ideas guide.

You can find patio furniture in any color imaginable, from a neutral taupe to a bright red. The color of your vintage patio furniture should complement your outdoor decor. If you'd like to add a pop of color to your patio, you can try DIY painting. Remember that bright colors are best for accent pieces. If you are unsure of how to paint your furniture, you can also use throws, pillows, or even other decor items to bring out the color.

When you're choosing vintage patio furniture, be sure to check the materials. You'll find wicker, rattan, and ceramic accent tables. While some pieces have traditional white or beige finish, you can also look for vintage patio furniture with unique textures, including cement and teak mixed in one side table. If you prefer a more contemporary look, you can opt for pieces that have a natural stone tabletop, instead of painted wood.

Wrought iron is a popular material since the early 20th century. It's still a popular choice for collectors and is durable. You can find pieces made of wrought iron in antique metal bed frames and lawn furniture. There is a wide range of colors for wrought iron furniture, and you can find one that complements your garden and patio's color scheme. For the best patio furniture, make sure to buy a set with a warranty.

The best place to buy vintage patio furniture is on Amazon. There are more than 20,000 pieces of vintage patio furniture to choose from, and you can even filter by climate-friendly or sustainable qualities. The shipping and returns are hassle-free. If you're planning on having a large party in your backyard, you might want to consider buying a dining set or an entire set of chairs. This will make your guests feel comfortable.

It's easy to care for

Whether you are looking to spruce up an outdoor room or create a vintage aesthetic for a vintage-themed home, retro patio furniture can add color and function to your outdoor living space. Designed with bold colors and patterns, retro patio furniture will make a statement without being too obtrusive. Retro-styled pieces are easy to care for and will last for years. Listed below are some tips for caring for your retro furniture.

Stainless steel legs are a durable, non-corrosive material that will withstand rain, sun, heat, and snow. Using a gentle cleaning solution to remove stubborn stains is also an effective way to maintain the beauty and shine of your retro patio furniture. While rust-proof metal furniture can last for decades, you may need to clean it every so often to maintain its shiny finish.

Choose the right materials. While natural materials like PVC are durable and easy to clean, synthetic versions can quickly fade and discolor. Lighter pieces may topple over in strong winds, so make sure to choose durable pieces that are made of thick, durable materials. If you are planning to use your patio furniture outdoors for years to come, choose cushions with firm but comfortable padding. For easy care and cleaning, use damp cloths and a solution of water and dishwashing detergent. Rinse well with cold water. In winter, store your outdoor furniture and put it in storage.

If you want to keep your retro patio furniture in good condition, you can purchase protective covers for your outdoor furniture. Brown Jordan's Lounge Chair Cover is an excellent example of one of these covers. There are plenty of generic outdoor furniture covers available through various retailers. Avoid using plastic tablecloths, which can trap moisture and heat and ruin the finish of metal furniture. The same goes for wicker furniture. While protective covers can protect your furniture from dust and stains, these plastic covers will do little to prevent them from becoming discolored or damaged.

It's durable

You can find a variety of options when choosing patio furniture. There are high-end, individualized pieces and affordable alternatives that will suit a wide variety of tastes. For low-end items, plastic resin and PVC can be durable and affordable. However, if you're interested in something that looks better than it feels, you might want to look elsewhere. Although PVC and vinyl are cheaper alternatives to wood, they're not as durable as wood.

To create the look you're going for, you'll need a sturdy, durable piece of retro patio furniture. While these pieces aren't made of the strongest wood or plastic, wrought iron and aluminum can provide years of comfort. Resin chairs can add a touch of retro style to any patio space. And if you want to create a truly retro feel, you'll also want furniture that's weather and fade-resistant.

While many contemporary pieces are made of steel, aluminum is a durable choice for outdoor furnishings. Made of aluminum, wicker is woven over an aluminum frame. Aluminum is more resistant to rust and moisture damage than other metals, and it's relatively lightweight. Wrought aluminum and cast aluminum patio furniture are heavy enough to withstand the elements but lightweight enough to be transported from one place to another. They also have an interesting look and can be a great addition to your outdoor space.

Wrought iron outdoor patio furniture is a good option for a low-maintenance patio. It can be used year after year and is highly weather-resistant. For a small backyard, a simple dining set looks great next to a stylish pool. Alternatively, you can buy wrought iron furniture if you're looking for something that looks classy and durable. The durability of these pieces is hard to match and they can last for many years if taken care of properly.

It's multi-functional

With its multi-functional functionality and colorful design, retro patio furniture is an excellent choice for adding color and style to your outdoor living space. Whether you choose to purchase outdoor furniture for a small or large patio, retro styles will surely make your outdoor living space come alive. Here are some ways to incorporate retro style into your patio:

Choose a chair in classic beach style from Ballard Designs. The folding chair has a solid teak frame, a Sunbrella Canopy Stripe sling seat, a lumbar pillow, and four adjustable positions. These classic designs never go out of style and will create a special look for your patio. You can purchase furniture made of metal which is easy to maintain and comfortable to use. There are also some unique retro furniture sets available.

You can choose from several types of outdoor patio furniture, including a fire pit, chairs, chaise lounges, and sofa sets. The multi-functionality of retro patio furniture makes it a wise investment. It is the perfect furniture for entertaining guests and spending quality time with family and friends. Aside from being comfortable, these furniture sets are also multi-functional. Some patio sets even have storage compartments, allowing you to store additional items and keep the area neat and tidy.

If you have limited space, a three-piece patio furniture set is an excellent option. It includes a glass table, four folding chairs, and an open-air table. The chairs can be folded away, while the ottomans can be used as footrests. The open-air table is functional as well, with an extra bottom shelf for drinks. There are also a few different kinds of patio sets to choose from, including a compact one.

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[walker-winchester-soldier]

To my fellow wincest shippers and Jared stans on Instagram. @/babydolljared has been spreading lies about Jared and Walker. (From their insta)

PLEASE! if you are EVER going to make allegations or statements about someone make sure you have your facts striaght. Make sure you have proof to prove your statement as well. Spreading lies and untrue facts is so misleading!! There are comments under this post saying "thank you for telling me about this" ITS NOT TRUE! none of it!!

Walker isn't a propaganda show, it isn't a homophobic show either! Them saying walkers only rep is a man in a pink tee is wrong! They clearly have not been watching the show.

Dislike an actor or a show all you want but to spread misleading facts that are untrue about both actor and show is disgusting. Especially when you move on to support someone like m*sha.

[kentosovertime]

𝔸𝕟𝕠𝕕𝕪𝕟𝕖 (ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟙 𝕠𝕗 𝟚)

anodyne (n.) serving to assuage pain; soothing

toxic therapist!sukuna x fem!reader - 2.1k words

A/N: a request from my bestie @yelzoldyck, sukuna simp extraordinaire, special thanks to @obsessedwithhjp for the proof reading, hyping, and her big seggy brain, part two is a planned wip, follow or turn on those notifications for updates ;)

Credit: banner art from twitter user @/aofdj_

CW: dark content, fem reader, explicit smut, dubcon, slight yandere, manipulation, emotional abuse, cheating, mentions of mental health and self esteem issues, oral sex (m! receiving), swearing/name calling

Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Masterlist | Tag List

“Which one is the next patient?” Sukuna hums, looking over his receptionist’s shoulder onto the screen. The calendar was blocked off for an hour and a half at the end of his day, extra time given for an initial consultation.

The receptionist glances at the screen, adjusting her glasses. She pulls her glasses back off leaning back in her chair, “The high strung one in the back corner.” she says with a smirk pointing over her shoulder. “Do you want me to send the nurse out for her?”

Sukuna’s eyes land on you, staring at your leg bouncing in anticipation. His eyes rake up your figure. Your hands are grasped tightly together in your lap, knuckles white. He follows their movement as one picks nervously at the hem of your cardigan, the other rising to lips so you could chew nervously at your manicured hands. When he catches himself staring at your mouth he gives a mental shake, deciding to take in your wide, nervous expression. Your doe eyes shining across the waiting room. What a nervous little lamb.

“That won’t be necessary,” he clears his throat. “There’s no one left for the day. You can pack up and make sure the nurses know they’re all set too. I’ll handle scheduling her for a new appointment if it's needed.” Judging by your mannerisms, it would likely take much more than one appointment to get into your pretty little head.

Opening the door to the waiting room, he calls out to you. “Y/N L/N?” Your head snaps up out of your dissociative state. He sees your face flush an appealing shade of red. “I’m ready for you.”

You blink up at him as you approach, a confused look passing over your face. I’m ready for you? There’s no way this man is a licensed professional. Your gaze takes in the dyed pink hair and face tattoos that extend down his neck, disappearing under his shirt. As you step closer you notice bold black marks showing through his white button down. He busies himself by unbuttoning his cufflinks, roughly pushing up his sleeves to reveal matching marks around his wrists as you cross the lobby.

“Dr. Ryomen?” you questioned once you got to the door, following him in and down the hall. You hear him grunt in affirmation, turning the knob on his office door. He motions over to the chaise lounge across from his worn armchair.

“Please sit. I will be right with you.” You cross your arms. A couch to lay down on and cry about my feelings? What sort of stereotypical movie is this? You take your designated spot, resuming your habit of bouncing your leg. He moves around the side of the chair falling in with practiced ease. “Am I not what you expected? You’re staring.”

His playful smirk reignites the flush on your cheeks. “You don’t look like you’re a therapist.” you state simply, starting to shut down in the face of his teasing.

“I can assure you that my ability to do this job has nothing to do with my physical appearance. Do you often judge people based only on their looks?” He opens his notebook, starting the scribble down words already.

“Do you often psychoanalyze people after they utter one statement?” You snap back, annoyed at how quickly he’s cueing in, you didn’t even want to be here. He sighs heavily at you, deciding on a different approach to start the painstaking process of building trust with a patient.

“Have you ever attended counseling before? It’s sort of our thing.” he leans back, tossing his notebook to the side. Maybe a more personal approach would help, you looked rather… impressionable when you weren’t on the defensive earlier.

“No. My friend forced me to schedule an appointment, I can handle my issues without this.” Your face twisting further. Sukuna was far from impressed with that statement. His time was valuable, and while you may be paying for his services dearly, he values not wasting his time over making money.

He gets out of his chair, acting like he's packing up his items. “Then clearly you are not in need of my services. If you think you know more than what my twelve years of education taught me, the door is right there.” He motions across the room for emphasis.

A beat of silence passes with you rooted in your spot. “... Wait. I- um. She’s right. I really need this, I’m just not used to people helping me.” Your arms curl around your center, attempting to hold back the crushing weight of the world on your shoulders; all the things you refused to let anyone burden themselves with.

Sukuna purrs inwardly, so submissive. “Part of this relationship we’re supposed to build is based on your implicit trust that I will always look out for what is best for you. That I will always listen to the items you wish to share and work through.” You’re captivated by his speech, coming off as down to earth, drawing you into his domain with ease. “I don’t expect this from you in the first meeting, that would be rather unrealistic, right?”

You find yourself nodding, relaxing in the presence of this new charismatic energy. “Very good.” He coos at you. “Now, let’s just start off with getting to know one another. The better I know you and the closer we get, the better I can help you. Does that make sense?” You nod again, but more enthusiastically this time.

Sukuna launches into a series of carefully constructed questions that were designed to get patients to open up; so he could probe anything questionable he picked up later. “How is your home life?” He asks, raising his eyebrow slightly when he sees your face fall. Bingo. “Hmm. You didn’t like that question.” he teased playfully, trying to prevent you from retreating back into yourself.

You think for a moment; you can tell him anything right? It doesn’t leave this room. “It’s… alright?” you question more to yourself than him.

“I guess that’s part of why I’m here.” You look down at where you're playing with the sleeve of your sweater. “I live with my boyfriend. We’ve been together a couple years now… but I feel empty?” You look off to the side in embarrassment when you feel your throat close, the emotions you hadn’t even voiced to a friend coming to the surface.

Sukuna rests his head on his propped hand, leaning forward, deciding it was time to pull at this particular thread, feeling you were about to unravel. “What do you mean by ‘empty’?”

“All of it? Physically, emotionally, mentally; I feel like I’m drowning. He doesn’t let me know where he is when he’s not home, and the little time we exist in the same space he shuts himself away.” Sukuna starts to open his mouth, but you cut him off, continuing to vomit your feelings at him. “He gives me the silent treatment whenever I dare question him. He doesn’t help around the house, we don’t go out together anymore, he rarely touches me anymore and when he does it's just to use my body for himself.” The tears finally start to spill over, sobs wracking your body. “It just feels so pointless! Is it my body? Am I that repulsive to be around? If he doesn’t love me after all he’s seen, how am I ever supposed to find someone?”

Sukuna sighed inwardly. God he hates when they cry like this, it's annoying. A pretty little thing like you should only be crying over a fat cock shoved down your throat or… His audible groan breaks you out of your haze, eyes widening.

“Oh my god! I am so sorry, I’ll shut up now!” He can see the water works starting again, your hands attempting to cover your tear stained face. No more crying about your ass of a boyfriend; he’d take anything but that.

He clears his throat, making you gaze at him standing in front of you with his hands in his pockets. “It sounds like your boyfriend’s a piece of shit. He’s probably sleeping around behind your back.”

Your sadness immediately flares into anger, “Maybe if you took a couple inches of dick out of your personality you could keep a relationship as long as he has,” your insult leaves your lips without a second thought.

Your jab is met with only silence. You’re frozen in place when he walks up to you and grips your jaw tightly with his large hand. “Would you like to see just how long I could keep a relationship?” He shifts to grip your hair and forces you to look up at his crotch.

“What did I say earlier about what I’m here for?” his hand at the back of your head was pulling at the hair at the nape of your neck. Preventing you from moving away from his bulging zipper.

Your watery doe eyes look up from his hips through your lashes, straining against the hold he had on you. “For me to trust you; that the closer we are the more you can help.” you repeat immediately. You hear Sukuna purr at your response, the vibration of his pleased sounds felt through the arm pulling you closer.

He uses his free hand to unbutton his pants, zipper slipping open as he reaches his rough hand into his pants to grip himself. He squeezes lightly to ease the mounting pressure, pulling himself out.

His cock falls in front of your lips, long and thick as your pussy clenches at the thought of trying to fit him inside your mouth. He grins wickedly as he sees your mouth fall open in shock. “Does this meet your expectations, slut?”

Your mind goes blank, focus falling intently on the situation in front of you. He watches you gulp harshly, reaching out to grip the base of his cock; words not needed to communicate what he wants from you. Your tongue darts out to lick the precum that had accumulated on his engorged tip.

You had been content to take your time, trained to pleasure your partner without any thought to your own release, until you felt his second hand settle under chin, the hand planted in your hand encouraging you to open wide to take his length into your mouth fully. He groans, savoring every inch as he watches your tear soaked face stuffed with his cock.

Any restraint he held onto snapped when he felt your throat spasming around his length as he bottomed out, your gagged moans reaching his ears. Barely giving you a second to adjust, he pulls back, and forces his way back in, pounding into your throat relentlessly.

He feels your hands scratch at his thighs. You slap at them repeatedly, attempting to get his attention, you couldn’t breathe. “You can do better than that slut!” he snarls. “Stop whining and take it. That's all you're good at anyways."

“Tch. If I had a mouth like yours at home, I wouldn’t be stepping out like him.” he hisses when he feels his balls start to tighten. “Hell- I can find some good use of you."

“This is what you wanted, yeah? You wanted your whore mouth stuffed with my cock..fuck-!” You relax your head, leaning to accommodate his rough actions. A lusty haze spreads through your mind as he uses you to reach his own end.

Tears continue to roll down your cheeks, an especially hard thrust has you choking again, unintentionally clamping down on his length. Before he can groan a warning, he paints the back of your throat white, your name falling ferally from his lips.

When he’s done pumping his seed down your throat, he pulls out slowly, a trail of saliva connecting his cock to your fucked out face.

He moves away from you chuckling as he sees the wet spot your leaking center left on his couch. “You needy little whore,” eyes lifting to yours as he sees you wipe the mess he made from the corner of your lips.

He buttons up his pants and fastens his belt. “Your appointments will be weekly moving forward. Same time.” you whimper from your seat unsatisfied and uncomfortable in your soaked panties.

“Please see yourself out.”