#makes me ... Laff a bit you know

[glacierberries]

jegulus stans talking about how they don't care about lily cause she's a one-dimensional character.... brother the call is coming from inside the house, i fear 💔💔🥀🥀

[decepti-thots]

top 5 prowl ships

taraprowl. my beloved. it's like how some sharks die when they stop swimming: if i stop talking about tarantulas and prowl being awful, failing to coparent, getting divorced and then trying to ruin each others' lives, i will die.

prowldome. basically i like when prowl's relationships end badly, what can i say. godawful exes!!! yes!!! but also I'm just unfortunately enraptured by them both being. kinda assholes pre-war together. and enjoying it. smug little shits (both derogatory and affectionate). they were, unfortunately, well matched once upon a time, which reflects well on neither one of them in many ways.

one sided prowl/bumblebee and i mean it has to be just the WORST unrequited crush of all time he thinks he's slick but Everyone Knows and finds it hideously embarrassing to acknowledge, including bee, AWFUL

prowl/optimus but. they don't actually like each other. not even a little bit tbh. it's all Projection and trying to force a dynamic they think they're owed and which they 'should' have, but which does not actually. exist.

you know i wanna throw a real rarepair in here. one of those things i made up at 2am. therefore: how the fuck has nobody seemingly written prowl/whirl mess, are you kidding me. does anyone see my vision here

honorable mention for 'the horrible no good prowl/chromedome/mesothulas situation that Lives In My Head for comedy purposes', which people on my nsfw side account will probably remember from. wait there were at least two AUs i did for this right. anyway it makes me laff

[genderkoolaid]

Rating Yonic Words (Very Logical and Unbiased and Scientific and Impartial)

Vagina et al. - 2/10. Hard* "g" sound is awful. Its a chewy word. Would be better with a soft "g" like in the french vagin, but even thats like, 5/10. Also way overused to describe the whole set when its only the main hole, but its also the proper clinical word for said hole. "Vag" is slightly better but carries the sin of the father (hard "g"), and va-jay-jay is a solid 0. You just doubled the worst sound here. Its the yonic Cain.

*not actually hard, my brain is just too french, but i don't think this sound deserves to be called soft. it's a chewy g. forgive me for my lies

Vulva - 10/10. Love him. "V" sounds flow so nicely. You could sing this in an opera. Also actually refers to the whole kit n caboodle. May be a little clinical for some but we can change that. We can make it horny. You can help me make it horny. Betty Dodson would want you to help me make it horny.

Pussy - 7/10. Gets some points for being a classic, and its decent sounding. But the "s" sounds aren't the best, especially alongside the "p" sound. Its just a little too harsh and kind of juvenile. Good for a laff.

Punani et al. - 2 to 7/10. Gets cool points for being a descendant of the Akan language through Jamaican creole. Gets a range of points because I'm grouping poontang (bad word to say and hear) in with punani (a clear 7)

Labia - 10/10. Vulva's lovely twin. Another word you could sing. The "b" sound isn't offputting- it flows nicely between the elegant "L" and "ia." Again, a bit clinical, but so good to say. Labia (the word and the body part) deserve more love.

Fanny - 0/10. Pussy's worse sounding cousin. Replacing the "s" sounds with "n" removes the flow of pussy, which makes this the yonic-linguistic equivalent of going down a dry waterslide.

Cunt - 10/10. Its like a punch in a good way. Not too harsh, but makes its point clearly; a well-rounded sound. Can be comedic and horny but its not too unserious. Good mouthfeel. I'm a big cunt fan. Can also be an insult, but such is the way of sex organs. Such a versatile word.

Coochie - 4/10. Sorry to the coochie lovers out there but my god? The "ch" sound? Awful to hear. Get that out of my genitalia. Gets points for comedic use, which I respect.

Twat - 2/10. Sounds like the sound made when Batman decks some guy in the face. The "t" sounds here are just unpleasant, and when combined with "æ" it gets worse. Sorry Brits & co. </3

Clitoris / Clit - 9/10. Important organ we all know and love. Both long & short versions sound good, although I think it could be smoother. Way better clinical term than vagina, but I wish we had wider options for him.

Snatch - 3/10. I'm not a fan of the sounds at play here (once again, get "ch" out of here), but I find this word really funny. I cannot imagine this being used hornily. It sounds like the name of a delightful cryptid.

Quim - 4/10. What are you, from the 1700s? I think it sounds alright, the "q" isn't abrasive, but unless you are writing historical fiction it just doesn't sound right.

Any and All Metaphorical Words - 1/10. Never work outside of extremely horny contexts or jokes. Gets one point for extremely horny contexts and jokes.

[ducktracy]

I’ve been listening to Jim Cummings’ podcast and he pointed out that a lot of VAs don’t like how WB refuses to commit to a regular full time cast for the Looney Tunes unlike Disney where if you’re cast as one of Mickey and Friends you basically have a guaranteed gig for life barring some exceptions (Mickey having a different VA for the Paul Rudish Mickey cartoons and the Chip ‘n Dale movie)

I saw a theory somewhere that WB doesn’t want another Mel Blanc - because they don’t want another VA with enough star power to demand higher wages. And I think third theory has some merit especially since Mel was training his son Noel to be his successor and apart from a handful of “Tiny Toons” episodes he never took his dad’s place

@digamma-f-wau asked: I'm not sure how true this is, but one thing I've heard relating to the post-Mel Looney Tunes voice actors is that all of the regular VAs have to reaudition for each new project, which results in the VAs varying from project to project; see how Bugs Bunny's VA often oscillated between Jeff Bergman, Greg Burson, Billy West, and Joe Alaskey. Heck, the fact that Bergen nigh-consistently lands the role as Porky is actually pretty unusual.

(context)

YEAH, i was just going to parrot what Digamma said here (thanks and hi Digamma!!) i forget where i've heard it (likely the pig himself) but i know Bob Bergen for instance had to/still has to reaudition--his audition for the original Space Jam was reading Hamlet's soliloquy in Porky's voice which i would've PAID to hear. i don't really have much to add on here other than i do agree it's pretty ridiculous, but i guess makes for interesting history! i was just made aware of this the other day, i've heard Billy West do Bugs, Elmer (and i wish he'd do him more... best Fudd past Arthur Q Bryan, bar none), and Porky, but Billy West DAFFY is a very new one to me

this does also make me think about how Joe Alaskey voiced Bugs and Daffy in the Laff Riot pilot... i wish they kept him :') Jeff Bergman does a pretty solid Bugs, at times a bit too bored sounding for my tastes but i understand the consistency in casting him. not a very big fan of his Daffy, though i was impressed hearing his voice for the duck in some of his stuff for the '90s. feel like some 2010s productions had issues with people like Bergman and Dee Bradley Baker (WHO I LOVE. and i actually really love his Daffy in a twisted way. i love his Daffy as a fan of SpongeBob who has heard and CONTINUES TO HEAR his voice in like, every third incidental on the show, and i hear an amalgam of those incidentals of his voice for Daffy--his duck is great if you're a fan of Baker himself as an actor, but maybe not so much on the merits of a specifically Daffy voice) whose voices for the duck kinda sound like "just some guy with shades of a lisp".

this also just made me remember that Rob Paulsen voiced Porky in the first episode of Animaniacs which is... a choice. the refusal for consistency is very odd and puzzling, but it does make fascinating history

[forsakenfrogmaster]

Hamilton Goes To Hogwarts..?

Yup, you heard me. I've been hearing about it a bit, and my HP obsession just came back. You know what that means! Please know that all of these are just fun little ideas, and if you want to change their houses go for it:)

Ham is a Ravenclaw

Laurens is a Griffendor

Laff is a Ravenclaw

Herc is a Huffelpuff (You can not tell me that that man is not a big softie underneath)

Burr is a Slytherin

Washington is a fourth year Griffendor

Jefferson is a Slytherin

Maddison is a Huffelpuff

They all like to stick together, but often get into lively debates, where by the end, wands are drawn

No one knows how Ham isn't a slytherin, but then he pulls some wicked smart thing only he and Laff could pull off and it suddenly makes sense now

Herc mends ALL of the clothes whenever they get into a spell fight, and adds tiny details of personalization to each of the cloaks when no one is looking

Laurens and Ham sneak out quite a bit to hang out under the stars, Laff will always cover for Ham, while Washington (He unapproved of breaking the rules but understands the young love) will cover for Laruens.

Ham ends up going WITH harry into the area for the philosophers stone, and literally just walks around the chess board while they are playing, but gets knocked out cold by a rouge piece at the end of the game.

The schulyer sisters come in for the triwizard tournament, cue EVERYONE GOING INSANE FOR THEM BECAUSE OMG ITS THE SCHULYER SISTER MARRY ME-

Nobody knows where the hell these kids come from. Some people have tried to follow them home, but fail continusily.

They all live together in an Apt in Hogsmead right above a bookstore that Laff's folks run.

They know a weird amount about muggle life, and it's history, and an insane amount on Wizard history. Which is usually how the debates start.

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TRY TO BULLY ANY ONE OF THEM IT WILL RESULT IN YOU BEING MOBBED

Draco learned the warning above the hard way when not only did the squad pull up, BUT EVERY SINGLE FREAKING HOUSE AS WELL- LIKE WTF GUYS HOW- CRABB, GOYLE WHY ARE YOU ON THEIR SIDE?!

At Christmas Ham gets a BUNCH of law books.

During the battle of hogwarts Laff hands something to his squad, but none of the professors can see

There are suddenly loud pops, and screams as Laff stands on a rock screaming VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

Guns. That's what Laff was passing out.

Surprisingly, the guns work REALLY well. They almost hit Voldemort, but because of the Horcrux thing it doesn't work.

Someone tried to kill Herc, and all of a sudden there were like 7 teenage boys lunging at them.

The corpse had bite marks in it..?

People think that they are all Animagi. Or at least Washington. Washington has to be a dragon of some kind because that man can get to the highest of places with NO MAGIC-

They all like to drink butterbeer in the Ravenclaw common room together after long days.

No one comments on it. Or else they might be the next corpse

Ham once accidentally made a new spell. It was put on the list of unforgivable curses.

You better believe it was used in the battle of hogwarts.

[avipop]

DOG MAN WAS GO!!!

I’d like to start out by saying that I’ve loved these comics for so long, probably since like the 2nd or 5th came out. Actually, the 5th was the first one I read! I’m kinda sad that they didn’t include piggy and chunky and bub but I get it, there wasn’t exactly space. For one movie they put together a bunch of stuff really well, and it only felt slightly rushed! Also um random but Petey canonically has green eyes! So do I hehe >:)

I cried. I cried at specifically the part where petey’s dad is being a turd and making fun of petey for crying and lil petey says ‘that’s not nice’ like 😭

This is gonna be weird and personal but I have alot to learn honestly and dog man is a really sweet way of teaching people stuff and like… I don’t know it’s just so beautiful ! Like that one part where it says something about kids who sucked at school and went on to make comics aaaaaaaa that one was a tiny lil thing but I cheered haha. Sorry I’m reallt bad at summing up my thoughts but basically— it’S one of those little things to cling to and give hope and stuff ! Because shit is hard but if you look at it from a different perspective and be less hard on yourself it’s actually better- I dunno I’m being a little bit of a hypocrite to say that but

DOG MAN IS GO!!!! It defo gave laffs too btw the comedy wasn’t *quite* as good at the books but I liked it!! Then again im humoured pretty strangely so I dunno if y’all should take my word for it.

But there were so many times where I just went YES! Because my bootycheeks has read all the books multiple times. It’s kinda sad I’m now fanning over dog man alone- I used to have others to be a fan with… oh well :’)

Okay okay but why Sarah and chief?? I literally yelled out “what about nurse lady??!” Like I don’t mind most of the creative liberties even as a dog man og fan and like I usually don’t like it when movies change up what happens in the books but I was acc fine w this one except for this. Like I’m not pissed or anything it was just pretty funny

Um anyway my memory isn’t the best so I can’t remember all my thoughts but I think that was pretty good! It’s still unreal to me that this even came out but I’m so very glad I got the chance to see it!!

[mr-clow]

Kal’Hal notes on a human ship. Part 3:

I was tired, as tired as the first day I started my training to form part of a crew and go out to space. I dragged myself to my private quarters and as soon as I closed the door I let the rest of my body slide to the floor and stayed there. As part of my training I had studied some parts of human history, and what I thought was a bloody class turned out to be a light-shortened version of reality that now looked like political propaganda. Humans had many wars between themselves, that is common in deathworlders, but humanity turned it into a sport (Quite literally they had practical war games for milenia!) and not only that made them stand out. A lot of other aspects in their daily lives were(?) cruel and violent. Segregation, slavery, discrimination, abuse of all kinds of power, lack of empathy for the other and themselves in general and even with all that, something that emerges as illogical is that they have a pack instinct stronger than any other known race. Kal’Hals are very empathetic and all this hurt me deeply, I dropped myself to bed and wailed on my pillow. I was hurt by the humans, for the humans. All my crewmates studied, lived and took on their lives knowing that in their story, instincts, and genes this could happen again, they knew how to be afraid of themselves and even like that they lived happily. How can a whole race go on like that! After what it looked like an eternity, I fell asleep.

I woke up to my alarm, I felt like I needed more rest, my skin was dry as I hadn’t changed nor taken care of it. Luckily, Kal’Hals needed a lot less rest than humans and I could change and take care of myself in time. As I went through the corridors and waved some humans that were ending their own shifts, I couldn’t stop thinking how they ignored all that. My mind was stopped to a halt as a sharp pain assaulted me in my tail and my reflexes rolled it below me, which caused a commotion by itself as it hit the legs of a crewmate from security. I turned and not only Alex was on the floor grabbing his legs, but Susan had also fallen on a door frame and was massaging her head. I couldn’t snap out of it, not only did I hurt two humans, but they barely know me, I'm not going to live another day!

Laff! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was going, and I stepped on you!

What?  (I looked at Susan, why wasn’t I being attacked)

You pack a hell of a punch with that tail, girl! And you, Susan, be more careful during shift changes!

I swear, Alex, I didn’t mean to step on her. Laffite, are you alright? You look scared, are you hurt? Do you need help to go to the infirmary?

I thought you were going to attack me.

What!? Why would I!? It was my fault!!

Susan, keep going. I will speak with Laffite.

Alex face changed from surprise to being really serious, he got up while he exhaled and after Susan started going away he looked at me concerned.

Laffite, I will not hurt you, OK? Can you follow me?

I’m sorry, Alex, I didn’t mean it. (My tail started to unroll slowly as I looked down)

I know Laff, it was an accident, yes it hurt a bit but is alright. I want to speak with you alone. Can you come with me?

I nodded and went behind him, looking at the floor. Two days ago I yelled at the Captain and now this, up to this point I was going to be happy if I got down alive from this ship. I kept my tail sliding as little as I could, as if that made me invisible to all the nods or salutes I was ignoring while we went to the level below to the security office and Alex office. He waited for me to come inside and closed the door, with a gesture he pointed me to a couch as human seats were rather uncomfortable to me, and then he moved a seat to face me while we spoke and looked at my eyes as if I were a prey.

Laffite, are you being harassed?

Sorry, what did you say?

If you are being harassed, are other people intentionally making you have a hard time?

What!? No!

Look Laffite, I am from security, you can count on me if someone is mean to you alright?

I don’t understand what is happening or why you are asking me this or why are we here, Alex. I had a few rough days and this is getting to me.

Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. - He relaxed his demeanour and position in the chair - To be honest, what you said worried me. I don’t know why you’d think that we were going to attack you.

I... I just... I don’t know. I felt pain and my body reacted, and you were there, hurt and... And... Well, I had been thinking about your history, and suddenly I was afraid.

Our history? You mean what the course you have on your home planet before having a position with humans, or you were speaking with someone about our history?

I don’t want to get them in trouble, Alex...

Don’t worry Laff, nobody is in trouble, seriously, nobody is. If someone has a problem it is me, because I like that everybody feel safe on the ship, and you don’t.

Emm... Alex, I don’t want to offend you with...

You won't Laff, I swear that doesn’t matter what you say now, I won’t think bad about you.

I asked how humans knew about their limits of radiations poisoning and... Well, we started speaking how you discovered radiation and one thing led to another. I learned about WWI and WWII, and slavery, and some political movements that oppressed entire nations and other things.

I understand that learning our history might be disturbing at least, but I don’t get why you feel insecure.

Well, the thing is... You did a lot to yourselves, to your own people, and I’m not even one of you. What could happen if...

Laff, stop there. I understand now. And... I’m sorry we made you feel like that. Let me first say that you are allowed to deeply study our history. We do it to avoid past mistakes, we are not proud of it, but we don’t deny it or hide it. We just... Eh... soft it down, because others might have a strong cultural shock to say the least. (Alex stood and walked a circle while watching the ceiling as if what he was going to say next was written there, then he stopped and looked at me sadly)

Look Laff, I have no real way to make you feel like you are one of us right now, but you are. You are our ally, our crew member and not only that you belong to your team, and they appreciate you more than anyone inside here. We may be clumsy, as Susan was when she stepped on your tail, but accidents happen a lot and humans will always get that.

Yes, but what happens if you react, or your instincts appear?

The worst that can happen is that you get a fist in your direction, but I assume you never saw a human angry.

No, luckily no. Today was frightening and even when my tail got you, you stood up as nothing!

No Laff, it still hurts, but yes, I can ignore it. I had an idea to demonstrate you that you are one of us. Do you trust me? A little bit at least?

Yes Alex, I know that you won’t intentionally hurt me at least.

Well, let’s do this...

[imjssmthig]

PART TWO: Hamilton AU

Mr jefferson came to the parking lot of the school. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail bun, but unlike laffs it was slicked. He came as Washington helped him and his son inside the school to get away from the kids.

“kids since we were almost done, wrap this up and go inside to get your stuff” coach sighed “why is this ambulance taking so damn long”

everyone went into the locker rooms.

“psst. Madison”

“what hamilton”

“where’s jefferson?”

“how should i know YOURE the one who destroyed his leg.”

“fair. i want to apologize”

“why are you telling me this?”

“idk you guys seem to be close”

Madison took a puff of his inhaler and returned to his conversation

“obviously. look i’m not sure where he is just apologize next time you see him because ik damn well he won’t open your texts”

“you have his number?” burr asked shocked

“for debate club. yes” hamilton responded.

then hamilton had an idea

“guys can we stick around a bit after?”

“why?” herc asked chugging a red gatorade after he asked the question.

hamilton started to explain as they made their way out the locker room “i want to see why-“

“jefferson wanted his siblings?” angelica said

“FU- yea” hamilton said

“where’d you come from?” lauren’s said, wrapping an arm around peggy’s shoulder. no one could really tell if they liked each other or were just best friends.

“the bleachers. is he ok martha’s really worried”

“i’m not sure” laff responded.

“where’s martha anyways?” eliza said

“she went home with dolley and madison.”

“are those two really a good couple? i mean dolley doesn’t really like anything he does.” lauren’s said

“she’s not much a doll” peggy continued

“whatever makes them happy”

then they came to an abrupt stop as herc put his arm out to stop them.

“shh”

as they stopped they heard jefferson and his father having a conversation

“your hairs a wreck” his father started

“it was my wash day anyways i was about to wash it”

“why don’t you just tie it up?”

“i can’t”

“why not”

“someone in our school looks too much like me to do that and his hair up. plus…it..just didn’t look good on me”

they all looked at laff

“you care too much for your looks boy” his father spits again

“i wonder where that came from”

“are you back talking?”

“..”

“well?”

“no”

“good. and you better recover from this ok?” he said, aggressively put his hand down on his sons leg, which he had sprawled out against a cafeteria bench.

“yes” jefferson quickly said, face scrunching in pain when his father turned away.

“you have had a scholarship. i want you to maintain that. no son of mine will end up as much of a failure as you’re becoming.”

“mhm”

“look at your siblings” your brother is a lawyer. your sisters a nurse. your other brothers are doctors. i was hoping your scholarship would get you somewhere but obviously you can’t do that right either”

“guys im gonna go” lauren’s said

“same” peggy agreed

“why? angelica said

“maybe he doesn’t want us to hear this” eliza said walking along with john and peggy.

“true.” herc and laff said at the same time.

“did you two forget IM your ride home?” angelica said

“i don’t want to intrude on his privacy” eliza said emphatically

“yea same i know i wouldn’t want people knowing about this if i was..you know…getting..well you get it” lauren’s stammered.

“you know how much this damn ambulance and hospital visit is gonna cost me? not that i can’t afford it because unlike some people i got a GOOD future, but it’s still gonna cost me a lot”

“yes”

“i’m leaving.” lauren’s declared as he, peggy and eliza walked out. as they did they heard the ambulance arrive.

“guys im hungry can we go on a drive and get food?” peggy asked

“sure” john said. “do you guys wa-“

“YO FRECKLES WAIT UP” herc screamed, as he and laff pulled up

“mind if we join?” he said

“you sticking w angie and alex?”

“nope”

“then go ahead”

they all hopped in the car and drove off. they wondered what happened but didn’t really care much as they knew that one of the two who stayed would update them.

“who just texted me?” john said

“alex” peggy responded

“what’d he say?”

“oh.”

“what?”

“he asked if yk anyone that’ll be a good player?”

“thomas can’t play?”

“i guess not”

“no way.” herc said

“why r u so sad?”

“he was our best player. besides me obviously. damn”

“whatever don’t respond to alex he was being-“

“inhuman?”eliza said

“i was gonna say nosy. but whatever”

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Okay, but for the fic author ask post you reblogged:

24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

I feel like we’re all scarred from some shitty English teacher or other such person who considered themselves an expert on the matter. Please share with us so we can all have a laff / Relatable Moment. 💜

So many stupid things...

Write what you know Like, sure, write the emotions the way you feel them and the way that you believe the characters would, based on how they present. But do you have first hand experience fighting demons or using blood magic against dragons? Lmao. If you can imagine it, go for it.

Like, writing characters is fun, and you should absolutely have a bit of caution when you're doing someone whose experiences you don't have (POC, LGBPTA+, Disability) etc and maybe check in to make sure you aren't using stereotypes, but like... I think we're beyond the era of an all white cast of heroes and one (1) ambiguously diverse villain.

Not like the characters don't have real life counterparts (in their diversity) who may have information on the net for people to educate themselves with. And you don't have to be super serious to be good either.

Not all fic authors are sexually active or into certain kinks, but they can sure write them well. Even accurately, based on information and feedback from people around them, etc. That's fine, that's normal, and you'd never know unless the author said something to you.

Are some fics wildly physically inaccurate and you think maybe an author has a kink they haven't realised yet on a few occasions? Sure. That happens. It's about learning how to write something too... but at the end of the day, your friend Character A is going to rail that hot dragon while Character B jerks it in the corner from the cuck chair/smaller gold hoard, etc. Not something anyone can really like, write from life... unless they order from say, Bad Dragon and have very specific equipment in their houses, I guess.

'wRiTe wHat yOu kNoW'

Like

Who is the most medically accurate med drama show? SCRUBS.

It's fucking hilarious, and they play around with all sorts of tropes, but they aren't too serious. So wwhen there is a moment of Damn That's Serious, it hits harder.

I forgot where I was going with this one, but you feel me.

Write what you know is certainly a good reminder to make sure you're not just digging through the Stereotypes Op Shop and not questioning the real character motivations, or how to write convincingly. But at the end of the day if you have a kick-ass story about dragon knights fighting in space, you have no way of at least trying the shit out before writing it unless you have access to a rocket, a very ig bird and at least one chill friend who wouldn't mind jousting in zero G.

(Side note: do you know people don't think Dr House MD is a disabled character with mental health issues? Fascinating. Just... fascinating. I want to study these people under a microscope).

-

Elipses (...) and commas, and our friend the semi-colon; are yours to command, there's no such thing as... too many.

Release them into the wild to populate... as you will.

Using italics in order to emphasise is lazy.

You will have to pry my dead cold fingers off the italics button, because sometimes you need to emphasise the way Shit Is Going DOWN.

Like

The venemous glare thrown her way was scathing, striking home with the vicious accuracy of an arrow to the heart. Please, she begged the other with her eyes, please understand I didn't mean to cast suspicion onto you. Never you!

as opposed to

The venemous glare thrown her way was scathing, striking home with the vicious accuracy of an arrow to the heart. Please, she begged the other with her eyes, please understand I didn't mean to cast suspicion onto you. Never you!

-

And while we're on nonsense rules

I love to write and emphasise words with capitals to emphasise The Importance of something, or the absurdity etc.

One can only imagine the Depths of her Depravity, and yet, it could not be denied that lovely creature before him was indeed a good cook. However, the chancellor couldn't help but avert his gaze when her Assets slipped from behind such a... Limited Garment. Indeed, what could be considered an apron for someone a third her size was Straining Desperately to manage the, ahem, workload requested of it.

etc.

I use it for comedic affect.

Also because "He gave her The Look over Jane's head, begging for help as he was wildly out of his wheelhouse with all this assassination conversation." is more powerful than "He gave her a look over her had that begged for help, unsure where to go with this conversation."

At least to me.

This had become a Situation. Not just an event, incident or other issue... a Situation that needed to be Dealt With appropriately.

---

Stories don't have to be A to B.

Like, you can start them anywhere, there's no trope that hasn't been used and that's totally fine to reuse for your story.

Do we freeze frame inon the end and go How the FUCK did this happen?

Do we start in a time before the beginning, the Simarillion before the ring was made?

Are we in the middle when all is hopeless and it's a terrible moment of great emotional distress that we have to feel for the clues?

Do we pick up a story and learn the world-building as we go, or is some of it dropped in the margins?

My fave author for world-building was Terry Pratchett, in the way you got some of it in different stories for the same world, and sometimes got annotations, and the more series in Discworld you read the more the whole shitshow made sense. 10/10. No one can beat JRR Tolkein, though, for world-building, but his is very law-dense where others are lighter.

However, starting a story with an eighteen page discussion on the importance of flurgening your flactors in order to allow androids to quingle your dinglehopper before we get to the story... can be a bit hard to read. That's where a beta can be helpful.

If that's how you want to write it, though, do it. There's an audience for everything. Someone will love it, as well as you will as the author.

Also, for reasons I can never really understand, when I write, I segue little snippets of world building and side information in, that matches the story but also helps add information to the character's motivations or decision. I could not for the life of me explain how that properly works...

--

I actually really dislike the whole spoon-feeding character traits to the reader thing. Like the whole My Immortal type thing, where you get the whole description there

Alternately, I have always loathed first person except for very specific types of story, it can get jarring. But hearing someone do a full two pages discussion of how they look is so annoying.

I might look in a mirror and notice that the dye in my hair is fading faster than expected, but say, could top it up tonight. But then, perhaps it's time for a change... perhaps we go with green this time, might highlight my eyes in a way that would distract from the burgeoning purple bags underneath.

I am not going to do a fourteen minute analysis of every flaw or curve or sexy little freckle, etc. Unless the character is anxious and neurotic about how they are perceived, and that can be written a certain way.

"I check the mirror for the fourth time, worrying over if they will notice my foundation is the wrong shade or if the yawn from before put lipstick on my teeth. Again, no. Though now I focus on them, I need whitening strips... fuck, fuck, fuck, this is why I never go anywhere!

The fabric of my outfit bunches and tightens awfully, rumpling in a way that makes me despair. Why did I bother to iron the stupid thing? No one's going to notice me anyway, not with (character) there, and why am I going? It was a secondary invite at best, probably out of pity... shit, and I'd said yes like some overeager little puppy desperate for approval.

The bra starts to feel like a tourniquet, as I blink back the tears of panicked self-loathing, because I spent half and hour trying to get this stupid eyeliner on and it was semi-decent now. Can't ruin it before the others arrive. What if I look too sad and ruin it all? What if they tell I'm just a pathetic broken creature wearing human flesh..."

Etc.

Slightly funnier if you find out that the character actually is a creature wearing a human suit and is worried the MIB are going to kill them if they fuck up, but either way. Anxiety + subscriptions can be super similar.

---

Nothing wrong with making a description Funny.

But if you're bending over backwards to avoid saying like Titties, and call them pendulous orbs on their chest, ripe for the plucking" I'm going to check your search history.

Just say tits. It's okay. Especially if the character is likely to refer to it that way.

--

Use character's internal monologue, it's fine, it helps to work out what their motivations are and can further the story. Also a little Chekov's gun for when they 'notice an ally is standing a little too stiffly, favouring their left side despite smiling along with everyone else in the post-battle bliss'. You get in there and let Person A catch Person B as they stumble, try to brush off help and get found family/hut - comforted to health damn it.

Just be clear who is thinking, if there are multiple characters.

----

You have to push through to finish something.

Nah. It sucks, sometimes when a fic you were passionate for or an idea just... dies out, but it's okay to decide 'I have been pushing and stressing over trying to finish this thing from years ago that I have no connection to'. You can tell when someone is doing something by wrote, but more importantly, finishing a chapter or a story should feel you with relief and a sense of accomplishment.

Maybe a few offshoot ideas for next in the fandom, or series, or the characters, etc. But it can just be done. If you're trying too hard to force something out, you just feel frustration for it.

Interest can cycle back around. You can come back to something years later and remember where you were going with it. That's okay too.

When you're writing for fun, or to spill your inner demons into the hands of very confused characters who lament your existence like a cruel god who unleashes The Horrors on them regularly... you don't HAVE to do shit, by the way.

The main audience member is YOU. Do you like the story? Do you want to continue? Did it turn out differently in a way you feel works? If not, talk to a mutual about it, bounce the idea off someone until you feel the shape of it again.

No shame in rewriting your fic along the same path with a different end as well. I do that a bit when I try to get to The Scene but the way the fic turned won't allow for it anymore and I see a different trail to The Scene in another story, etc.

Something profound here.

---

Plotting

A final complaint... sometimes you get a cool idea in your head and have to write to that scene, and things get... ridiculously wordy. Sometimes, you have a vague idea that twists and trns and writhes about until it's almost a separate story to what you thought it would be.

No shame in that.

Sometimes you have immersed in the characters deeply enough that you feel your idea twitching to a shape, a narrative, that makes slightly more sense... and that's normal.

You're doing great.

And AUs are fun, harmless and chaotic. Why not induldge in that sexy mermaid AU or the Extreme pathologists working late in the lab to cure the pandemic who become increasingly aware of one another over time but are also in like 8 llayers of protective gear so have nevermet face to face type AU.

If your plot is ??????? - The Scene - ?????

or The Scene - ????? - ????? Cliffhanger

or ??????????????????????????????????The Scene???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????The fuck emotional devastation

Normal. Fine, Valid. Very demure. Very Respectful.

You are God here, and the words will be formatted to your will alone.

---

You CAN overdescribe shit.

But if you like it like that, go for it.

We all had a Very Purple Prose phase, and I pretend those fics don't exist anymore.

----

The most annoying thing is the idea that fanfic is all just smut and badly written. For one, don't forget that accomplished authors frequently end up on the Worst Sex Scene Description Awards list each year, and some 15yr old who saw a sexy site once wrote a fic so steamy the comments are full of praise and horny nonsense... it doesn't equate.

Writing at all, especially if you like it, is a talent and a challenge. It teaches you to think outside the box on how you would describe smething, how to come from alternate perspectives, it can help you practice english (or a language of your choice), it can give you a wider vocabulary.

Forgot where I was going, bon appetite, I have to take my children for a walk now.

[batsplat]

as might have come across by now, i love doing dumb rankings for things, which obviously includes ranking top ten riders after the season ends. which is only fun to do if you do not take it too seriously!! this is just as a laff. did it very very quickly top off my head before listening to the race podcast episode ranking the riders so I could argue with them in my head, was curious if they'd change my mind on anyone, they did not

just for reference the race's combined rankings were: 10) vinales 9) binder 8) zarco 7) diggia 6) bastianini 5) fabio 4) bagnaia 3) acosta 2) marc 1) jorge (impressive this did actually match up in terms of the riders i picked because i swear their one last year was bizarre)

here is my quick fire justification for each

Next off - always a coward's concept but idk, I'm clearly too fond of aleix. retirement privileges. the poles were neat, the races frustrating but ultimately also a bit inevitable feeling, too much of the year too anonymous. flyaway kinda a waste (also it makes sense to have a next off in this case because there was not a single other rider I considered even for a second for this list, like it's very much a grid in two halves for me this season idk)

10. Diggia - was generally impressed and happy he cracked on from last year, love athletes getting better at things. It's the Marc comparison that kills him for me. You don't need to be beating marc but you need to be close to him SOMETIMES and like. finish ahead of him when he's not gotten a penalty. just do not think the gp23 was quite as poor as the non-marc riders were looking, have to accept that bez's season was basically a write-off and go from there. Late stretch with the injury was really strong - positive season by his standards but that ends up bagging him tenth

9. zarco - some really impressive pace on a really poor bike. The qualifying is obviously the big thing, like the one lap pace was just consistently... surprisingly impressive.... Felt very yamaha era, I didn't realise he still had that in him. Races meh but no more so than other Honda's and he showed a little of what that bike was capable of. zarco to me feels like one of those riders who does need to feel comfortable in an environment to properly perform, and I get the vibe the lcr set-up is doing him a lot of good. still a bit of a terrorist sometimes in races - but unlike a couple of riders who did not make this list, at least he actually backed it up with a little bit of magic

8. Vinales - man this guy... I mean cota was obviously amazing and so was portimao tbh, but unfortunately it's a twenty round calendar. The starts are abysmal even by aprilia standards, after phillip island I made a vow with myself to never put him in my fantasy league team again and then broke that at catalunya ii, a race I'm not convinced he was physically present for. also with all love and respect for aleix, genuinely remarkable it's taken three seasons for vinales to actually get the better of him - and even that was helped by aleix disappearing over the flyaway stretch. extremely vinales season, we all know what we're getting at this point

7. bastianini - not even BAD as much as I found it deeply uninspiring. obviously also pretty damning he failed to secure third place. he flirted with the idea of involving the best bike on the grid in the factory team in a title fight two thirds into the season, then instantly changed his mind. just basically IMMEDIATELY crashed when the title contender shouts started... so much for the consistency thing when he's actually pushing huh. the qualifying h2h with pecco is criminal, which to some extent reflects well on pecco but. not that well. Late race pace gimmick only takes you so far buddy. Fell off less than the three guys ahead of him in the standings, but at least those three were clearly trying to be fast which fundamentally I think is a good idea in motogp. I also still haven't forgotten whatever tf he was getting up to in the catalunya i race, though admittedly catalunya ii was in itself a memorable follow-up. the post-race aleix comment is a genuine contender for the funniest thing anyone has said all year and almost pushed him into my top ten just because of how much i enjoyed that. and now for the good stuff!! when bastianini's on it he's clearly super fast, the late race pace gimmick DOES still do crazy things sometimes, and he did have some serious consistency going for him even when he was twenty seconds back on the other guys. race craft always been a bit dubious to me but like. points for pulling some of those moves off without crashing. improved his sprint performances and did manage to bounce back from serious injuries last year. interested to see how he gets on next year

6. Binder - I did not think I was being generous with this ranking!!! he was the top non ducati points scorer and I still believe on balance the gp23 is a better package than what binder had. sure, this was another pretty uninspiring season but like... maybe the issue is that I've long felt binder was overrated and the ktm was underrated, like I never bought this whole 'he'd win a title on a ducati!!' talk. so I felt vindicated early in the season and then I got over it and could appreciate the performances he put in. he outscored a guy I think most people agree is a truly generational alien-level talent - didn't outperform him, but that is still a respectable accomplishment. the ktm might not have slipped down the pecking order but it WAS relatively further adrift from ducati than last year - lack of peaks hurts binder post Qatar and how pedro just reliably seemed the best ktm in terms of pace but. y'know. that gets you sixth

5. pedro - yeah man, what a stunning rider. I always try to set the hype levels low when a guy is switching class because you truly never know, but he's the real deal. felt very casey-esque in vibes more than result in that his ultra promising start to the season actually slightly hurt him afterwards, but quite frankly this is also down to bike performance and him overreaching on machinery that doesn't allow it. you could feel him losing his patience... he's hungry and knows he should be fighting right at the sharp end of the field. which is fine - to a degree. inevitably some of the mistakes end up costing him in this ranking, even though I still feel like they tell me nothing about his ultimate potential. the comparisons to marc's rookie season are worse than useless because if you really think marc wouldnt have crashed more in his rookie races than he did if his debut had been with, idk, Ducati ... Idk what to tell you man. Hopefully he's gotten some of the stupidity and recklessness out of his system, but yeah he could do with that bike things none of the other riders could. also CONSISTENT high pace - even if the conversion wasn't always what is should be, he really was almost always the fastest ktm rider in any given weekend. looking forward to next year if ktm still exists

(also sorry but you CANNOT rank him this much higher than binder if he's been outscored by him on the same bike, like it's a top ten best riders not top ten riders who you vibed with the most. binder outscored pedro and u put him SIX places lower in the rankings?? it's not supposed to be a ranking relative to expectations - maybe this is also what hurts marc slightly in my rankings... he clearly adapted very well to the ducati BUT the fact that he was adapting just inevitably meant some of his performances especially early in the season weren't quite *there*, which knocks his ranking slightly. this 2 me is how you do a ranking of the 'best')

4. Fabio - the problem with ranking fabio is that fundamentally you cannot really compare him to some of the guys in this ranking because he is just riding with a completely different set of challenges and priorities. he's not under the strain of a title fight, he's not got a decent benchmark (think the injury is still a serious factor), the eye test tells me he was highly impressive but I also can't really rank him higher. he has a massive machinery deficit but also fundamentally that means if he has a shit weekend, he's going to just be essentially invisible. even though I fully believe he would be right up there with the guys ahead of him given the correct machinery, if not beating them, just kinda inevitably means he cannot put together as complete a season as the guys ahead of him. also helped by how the Yamaha has gotten generally somewhat better over the course of the season, which means recency bias is swaying me. really recaptured some of that old qualifying magic at times. That race where morbidelli took him out haunts me. He's also kinda hurt by me not seeing enough of him on my screen but this is not his fault. I would be fine putting him first lol

3. marc - he's very likely gonna win the title next year, for now he gets third in this ranking. in the pro column is obliterating with the gp23's, though quite frankly that also reflects how unimpressed I was generally by most of those guys. I think the bike was nowhere near as good as he made it look for much of the year, especially given the rear tyre situation... I also don't think it was quite as poor as his fellow gp23's regularly made it look. he adapted very well to the bike especially at his age, he showed he still has the old magic, he did everything he needed to this season to fight for the title next year. a lot of the year he spent riding with bikes he had no business racing, there were some inspired rides through the field, and all three of his sunday wins were impressive in different ways. he also had more than his fair share of bad luck. but y'know, he was in the title hunt vibes-wise long enough that it's worth pointing out he finished over a hundred points off the top two in the rankings. which probably feels like more than it is given the sprint factor - still, percentage-wise that clocks in at just under eighty percent of bags' points... I'm not discounting the machinery difference but it makes me more comfortable with giving him third. the qualifying isn't actually as poor stats wise as it FEELS (average grid position another stat you can whack bastianini with if you are so inclined btw), but it still wasn't what it should have been. gp25 will probably be good enough he can at least slot in besides pecco, but he doesn't want to get into that 2015 era valentino habit of continually having to do Very Impressive Rides with great overtakes and all the rest of it from pee nowhere at the end of the first lap. also a bit too crash-y - and I do give him one or two penalty points for stinky race craft working his way back up the order lol. he's too old for that, and also there may come a time where he does need to start watching that crash count a bit more (throughout the weekend). maybe it's sustainable, but it might well not be. I didn't like those numbers in his prime, I like them even less now. all that being said he could easily go first in this ranking and I almost put him there, to me there's no real distinction. post-summer break I think I would put him first

(editorial note: twas interesting to see catalunya ii qualifying felt like the first time catching a tow off pecco actually *worked*, and I am a little bit curious if that was because pecco was deliberately attempting to give him said tow or whether he's figured out not to bin it on the ducati in that situation. watch this space ig)

2. Bags - the fastest rider this year and should have been champion, so of course you have to penalise him for not winning. I do actually think he performed better than martin but also he had the factory apparatus behind him and martin did what he needed to do. seven crashes - one he was completely blameless for, two racing incidents he was at most in that 40-60% range for, four on his own. I find the sepang sprint crash quite excusable, catalunya sprint I am pretty unimpressed by, misano ii I honestly still don't understand anything about his race and Silverstone sprint I am very meh about. the racing incidents do feel like major punishments for minor crimes but fundamentally just like... don't be in that situation I guess. if you don't watch where you're going when you cross the street under a green light and get run over, even if it's not your fault that won't actually do you much good. genuinely had some quite poor luck, like I don't think all this bike/tyre stuff was just bullshit on his end - same with martin last year at... I want to say qatar? shit happens. I do think he needs to get more serious about sprints, though to some extent his ranking reflects a continued stubbornness on my part on the sprint front. you're supposed to be fast on a sunday!! he was fast on a sunday. eleven wins are eleven wins and don't suddenly get erased if you don't win the title - sure he was on the dominant bike but he wasn't the only one. eleven wins can be used to slam him but fundamentally they are still eleven wins. and did I mention that he did ungodly things to bastianini in some of their h2h's, who theoretically is quite a highly rated rider... I am always a fan of a good exercise in futility and some of his late season performances very much moved me. decision making sometimes a bit ass, race craft less so. hope he doesn't die in a ditch next season

1. jm - yeah man what can you say, just such an impressive all round season. you can penalise him a bit for the win count I feel ... It's one of those weird seasons because apart from mid season he generally ended up in a position where he was *defending* a points lead, so it was consistently sensible for him to settle for results rather than do anything silly. But there was a lot of settling!! I think it's easy to complain about that on entertainment grounds, but fundamentally this was probably his one shot to win a title (after last year) and he did so. both him and bagnaia made a step up from last year which as stated earlier on I always appreciate - I still think pecco is the all round better well rounded rider with more to his game, but also literally who gives a shit. it's about winning the title!! shout out to his starts... I don't like how important they are in the current version of the sport but they are and his are consistently excellent. the qualifying battle between him and pecco is worthy of mention in its own right - I KNOW you don't get points for qualifying, I'm not even that big a qualifying girl normally, but idk some of those sessions moved me. doing all that with a satellite team (albeit a very well-supported one) and knowing he was leaving next year... yeah. now admittedly he did do the single stupidest thing I'd seen all year when he changed bikes at misano i, which if I had my way you'd get negative points for, but also all those guys behind him made mistakes so whatever. I find the sachsenring crash fairly excusable, the jerez one a lil less so but also fine, mugello sprint was a wee bit silly and likewise indonesia. did also potentially get extremely lucky marc crashed when he did in thailand - if martin's right and he would have crashed there, that's double the title-winning margin right there. race craft a bit eh and I feel like I never really expect him to win any of his encounters with pecco and Marc (and even bastianini), but also le mans was great so. Doubt he'd be champion without sprints but we do have the sprints, congrats on a great season etc etc

and there u go. top five are interchangeable for me and so are the bottom five but i feel quite strongly about which rider belongs in which group. fun season, i enjoyed it

[hyumjim]

of course rich and famous movie stars have been doing all these procedures for ages, because their industry is all about looks and they have the money to pay for these things as soon as they become available. but they generally weren't public domain before. i guess it's just like the rise of the internet as well as more specifically the weird democratization of social media / tiktok world where "anybody can be an influencer" which has 15 year old girls thinking they need preventative botox. people always used to make the point that celebrities do not naturally look beautiful, their faces are preserved and altered via expensive (and often invasive) treatments and their bodies are manufactured via surgeries and eating disorders. but now it's like everybody knows this and they've said well that doesn't seem fair does it, we should really make this sort of thing available to the common people as well. and start them off early too

im havin a bit of a laff of course i know it's all about MONEY. But if I may give a bit of advice on this subject, my supervisor told me this once and I'll never forget it: "Ask yourself whose business model depends on making you feel this way."

[cathalbravecog]

There's a lot to be said they covered a looot in this update but I'm glad find the family is getting tweaks. I know it's meant to be the challenging fight but I'm allowed to complain and you genuinely were thrown out by most people if you didn't have like??? 120-max laff and there were crazy fucking Google docs to help strategixe that are too damn difficult to remember like yeah have fun and a challenge for late game players but idk a bit of inclusion wouldn't hurt I know the try hard ttr type players will complain but idk this is my hot take of the day it was too difficult like nobody around me tried it except for like spam who was so mad burned out from it bc like one in like bajillion attempts was successful

I never got far personally but I did try and. chriiiisttt

tbh I was just freshly done with main task line so I still had Much To Learn and Get My Laff but daaaayum I don't wanna be near competitive ass max laff people they scare me

OK sorry for getting salty rambly here ik yall here for art not me being a bitch so I'll end it here but i wanted to talk abt it somewhere I know I'm being a little pussy about smthn made to be hard but there's hard enjoyable and hard WHAT THE Heal. ofc not mad at staff for this it's hard making games though it'd be dumb to be mad about that but Yeah

[bisluthq]

Thank you for your response to the other anon about why what matyy said was fucked up and how the hair comment was an attack on blackness because I saw it and felt icky and thought it felt racist but since Twitter is more awful than ever, the replies made me doubt my own opinion.

I’ve never liked him - never vibed with his music, thought the edge lord shtick was silly when he can be articulate and if he cares like he says he does, he could use his platform more like Bono has (which has also been hit and miss, but he had good intentions) but that makes more sense than trying to be edgy for the laff and then try to claim he’s sensitive.

But I also didn’t think he was actually racist before. I thought he was a dumbass. But I didn’t think he’d actually judge someone on their skin, but he fucking went there today! And I think it’s scary how easily the mask can slip and that moment when you realise there was a mask. I’ve been trying to avoid Twitter the last 2 months but like all the men who were laughing at the ‘your body my choice’ was fucking terrifying!!!! Some of them seemed so normal or garden variety conservative but not maga extreme and then they went full misogyny and violent so quickly.

Idk I’m talking in circles but it’s like it’s getting harder to spot the threats now? And with matty i feel like I should’ve thought he was actually racist / had it under the surface even though he wasn’t at a certain level because why does someone need to get to the point of actively hurting before we (me) see their true colours?

Idkidkidk some experts are saying to build a more tolerant society we need to let people say dumbass “jokes” so their fragile egos don’t get hurt and they don’t go far right because they feel excluded, and others are saying to stop any bullshit as soon as it’s said because it’s not ok and people need to learn that asap.

Sorry I’m feeling a lot and i guess a bit concerned about *gestures broadly* everything. Not trying to write a think piece or use your inbox as therapy but I think I was in an echo chamber where things were mostly kind and it seemed like most of ours and the younger generation was so accepting and the illusion of all that has been shattered big time.

yeah. Idk I’ve been watching a lot of comedy specials lately because I’ve been feeling pretty sad about lol everything and I’ve watched a lot of Jimmy Carr and Ricky Gervais and Chris Rock and Bill Burr all four of whom are obviously edgy. But the thing is when Jimmy or Ricky make a rape joke - and they do - it’s so outlandish that you can tell they purposefully came up with a fucked up bit for a joke. When Chris talks about race like obviously he’s not racist and he’s just lampooning stereotypes. You actually can tell intentions. They don’t actually think that shit. With Matty’s “jokes” my thing is… he obviously does think that stuff to a degree or he WOULD NOT get super sensitive over it?

I also think “I was upset” is not a good reason to be racist, misogynist or homophobic. Where I live, there were several incidents where a person got caught on camera saying hate speech in “bad” situations and their excuse in these situations was “oh I was very upset, I didn’t mean it” and my response is always like “I kinda feel like that is WHEN you mean it”. Obviously if you get mugged you’re upset. Obviously you’re very angry at the person who mugged you. But if you go “I’m very upset at the X group of X word” then, wait for it, you’re just racist. Because that’s what your brain spewed up - hate. Idk man I get annoyed or upset with people of various races and various genders and various sexualities and my brain doesn’t default to slurs. I’m also not saying I don’t have fucked up thoughts, obviously I sometimes do, and I try catch myself but I also acknowledge there are micro aggressive things that might slip by because I won’t KNOW that’s what it is. I can’t think of an example - by definition - but obviously I’m not perfect and I’m the product of society. Also sometimes we have jokes/stereotypes we say out loud and ARE funny but specific people might take offense and that’s also fair right idk. I often make jokes about POC making better food than white people for example and my friends generally speaking find it hilarious and it’s certainly not ill intentioned but if someone one day goes “fuck u I’m allergic to chilli you racist cunt” I’ll be like “ok fair enough” 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ I’d still tell the jokes because I don’t believe it’s that fucked up but I get why to someone any stereotype, even a positive one, is hurtful.

I’m also rambling but idk at a certain point when someone shows you who they are multiple times we’ve got to believe them. Matty is imo past excuses. And it’s also like I’m tired of having to be like he’s not a bad person just because he clearly doesn’t WANT to be a bad person because he could also learn. He chooses not to. So at a certain juncture we have to realize maybe he *is* a bad person and again if he didn’t mean any of this shit then why would he keep getting all bent and sensitive about it? Back to my Jimmy Carr example, I guarantee if people tried to cancel him for out of context jokes, he would have a laugh about it because *he doesn’t mean it*. The only reason to get sensitive is if you did mean it in a way 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[frostbite-the-bat]

do u have any tips for the high roller fight shes so mean to me...

(HEAVY BREATHING)

OKAY! SO! IM AUTISTIC AND HAVE A SPECIFIC STRAT I USE WHEN I DO THIS FIGHT A MORBILLION TIMES (48 defeats..... not enough im gonna kms im not getting to 69 funny number at this rate with burn out)

ANWYWAYS THIS IS JUST KINDA HOW I DO IT AND HOW I Rember IT! OK! ok. most of this is for stage 3 bc the first 2 are short and not that difficult imo. well. i fucking hate stage 2, but it is only 5 rounds long, and requires lots of focus, but it's Guaranteed Short. can always take the safe route with luring and tooning up... but you WILL NOT get a good damage boost for stage 3! (the more hollys u kill the more damage buff u get for hr)

One thing to remember! if all cogs are under 360 hp and everyone has enough pips for opera, just use that, you'll clear all cogs.

if you wish here's my gay little sound note i have on my wall. it doesn't go to the lower lvl gags but in early rounds you may use them too, makes shit faster. the cogs there got baby levels

pls know in the fight i also use a calculator! i highly suggest using one especially in any round you'll be using sound in. i just use one on my phone while i play!

using 4 dice for power ups isn't necessary in stage 1 unless you get nasty fucking spawns later in the later rounds (got a 1000 health cog there once i'm sure? ?christ almighty)

absolutely more necessary in stage 2, though, usually the spawns there are nasty. go for zap, i usually go for it to at least *try* and wipe out as many hollywoods as i can. weakening is okay too because with enough luck you may be able to use sound. careful with laff though it may be risky since this typically includes saying fuck it killing the worst ones and leaving one alive to hopefully wipe out easier next round

healing before stage 3 isn't as important (GOOD IDEA TO BE HEALED UP FROM STAGE 1 TO STAGE 2, THOUGH).

in stage 3 what i do is i target one silhouette at a time, all with cakes. gives a good self heal! do it in like... worst priority order? however if you miss and lose a lot of laff it's good to 2 dice, lure, and all toon up to stall a bit. if you have green on board then focus on that and tooning up at the same time

uhmmm. purple is worst because punishes healing. my kill order is usually purple > red/green > cyan (though i've been taught the trickery of cyan and i like it being wiped out early too. depending on what's in the fight i may target cyan first or later) > orange > everyone else (i dont worry abt anyone else besides they do nothing)

cyan worries me a bit less since it likes fucking with drop gags the most, and i dont use it. you can clear everything with 4 weddings. one by one tho. it works for me like 85% of the time except from when hr is mean to me and makes me miss wedding 3 times. 80% hit rate, everyone

leave one silhouette alive and grind to get some ious (focus on getting trap and drop. everyone having drop Good). do old strat, pre trap hr and the silhouette. make sure you spam 4 dice. if you dont get any wait until a good round when everyone can use 4 dice. hard to coordinate in voice, but incredibly easy (but maybe stressful) in quads (all toons controlled by you)

4 dice increase power, very useful. will make tnt on hr stronger even if the damage WILL be significantly weakened. before you do anything tho, check who has highest tnt damage. whoever does, they tnt hr. one person uses a weak trap on the silhouette. (make sure to weaken it first, my safe range is like 1100 hp. typically just double wedding it, and then later next round using a weaker throw)

you dont need to lure right away, you can spend some more rounds to toon up and regain pips. then, get whoever has weakest drop to lure (if they have a 2 dice and/or rerolls to get 2 dice and use a weak group lure to save pips. if not, just use a stronger one and pray it hits. or just agree to get whoever has 2 dice to lure.)

one person lures, everyone else piano's hr. use 4 dice too to increase damage. necessary if you want this done in this one silhouette round. rng based tho. wait till everyone has 4 dice or rerolls, maybe. hard to communicate thru text, easier in vc, easiest when quadding

the trap you set on the silhouette earlier. it'll die, and high roller's gets normal damage in the same round! pray all pianos hit.

you WILL get hit by high roller's ace, but at this point hr SHOULD be around like... 10000-20000 ish hp? out of 44444. good range!

then what i do, for safety, get some 2 dice maybe? use 4's, also. just watch carefully to like. still have pips for max gags. whoever has strongest throw, uses wedding. everyone else pianos. kill her.

that's gg's !

basically kind all to remember..? what i do in this fight? uhmm any other tips. if ur not a fan of trivia unlike me, keep this tab open! like me. i keep it open always ( LINK TO TTCC WIKI GG HR FIGHT TRIVIA ANSWERS )

if you have adhd and can unfocus your eyes like i and there's a shuffle round just like. remember which one it is. stare at the middle. use your powers dont move your eye but like Look At Which One Is Being Shuffled. works even in harder rounds! normal people uhmmm Suffer

uhmm be careful with pips in general? if you can save do save.

oh yea, shouldve said earlier - the way you stall in the 3rd stage with hr and the silhouette is just. all or just 2 use megaphone toon up. every 2 rounds when you can try to use an iou dice. yknow. 5 dice !

pass if low on pips, but if any toons get lower laff then use more megaphones or just single toon up each other. i typically space out in this stage so i just 4 megaphone always but saving pips by skipping i n some turns can earn you quite a few spare pips lol.

but srsly i space out for most of this and chat offtab or just talk abt shit in vc. then i pay attention only when its Time To Kill.

that's that! thanks! im autistic about this fight. idk how good my strats are, i hate talking abt em publicly bc i know some nerds gonna go in and go ERMM THERES SOMETHING MORE OPTIMAL

stfu i dont care im doing my own autistic thing (fun fact i gotta lead everyone always not only bc im like trusted with this fight but also if things dont go my way my brain implodes on itself and i cant focus on shit)

please look at this NOT OLD STRAT piano damage. colossal damage

[bikercbr6]

That office job? Nah, chucked that in dint I - just weren't for me were it. Should realised that an age ago, but when I recovered from Chav I gave ‘em a call and told ‘em to stuff it. I means, what sensible lad wants to put a suit and tie on and the air in a pokey office all day looking at dem papers and stuff, eh? Sod that, mate. Much better staying in, relaxed in me trackies having a smoke and laff wiv me online mates, and making plans to meet up later.

Me dad kicked up a bit of a fuss to start wiv, mind. But when he went off on one I could see his face was more flushed than usual, a bit sweaty like. But then he took to his room for a couple of days, and when ‘e came out everything was chill like. He even took me shopping down JD’s and whacked a lot of new gear on for both of us on his card, dint ‘e? Fucking amazing, my dad. Me mate Dave thinks so too, now. They gotten really close actually. That’s them making all that noise in the next room, bless ‘em. They really going at it don’t you fink?

Me? Just gonna chill for a while longer, while they finish playing around. Love just lazing and having a long, satisfying drag. So chill. Then we’ll all pop out, grab a few cans and go down the park. Always a lot of bruvs down there these days. Always nice getting to know new mates. Wanna come?

[bloodyarson]

visit my new tag #ellis's adventures in late capitalism customer service and predatory business practices for highly entertaining accounts of my experiences dealing with any kind of company's or government's wonderful treatment of their obviously very strongly valued customers and their very astronomically high quality offered services