#makes me sad in a meloncholic way.

[the-offside-rule]

Pablo Gavi (FCBarcelona) - Love Lies

Requested: yes

Prompts: 32) "Keep the jersey on."

                   43) "I'm in the better position to be giving a tantrum right now."

Warnings: smut, 18+, cheating (???), angst, kinda sad at the end

The final whistle blew and up stood Ana, clapping meloncholically along with the other fans in the Parc Montjuiic. Y/n stood up too to clap along. "What a game." Ana said, disappointed. "But Pablo is going to be so happy because of his assist." Y/n rolled her eyes as Ana mentioned her boyfriend again. Pablo Gavi was known to most as the young and upcoming talent in Barcelona, but Y/n knew him as her ex-roommates annoying boyfriend that would stop at nothing to annoy her. "Yeah, he will be so happy." Y/n said sarcastically. "Oh come on. Don't be like that. We still need to get you a date with Pedri or one of the other guys." Ana smiled, slinging her arms around her friend. "If they're anything like your golden boy, I don't want them."

Ana and Y/n stood awaiting Pablo and in the meantime rated different players for Y/n to date. Unfortunately for Ana none of the players peaked Y/n's interest, and thankfully for Y/n, Ana's boyfriend had finally showed up. "Hi babe!" Y/n looked at Pablo, more like a glare. "I'm so sorry about the game." Ana offered a soft smile to her boyfriend. "Yeah. It happens." He replied. "Y/n." She arched a brow. "Gavira." He chuckled. "I thought you said we weren't allowed to be like this anymore?" Pablo asked Ana. "I- You're not. Y/n what the hell?" Y/n rolled her eye set again. "Yeah, roll your eyes further. You might find a brain in that skull of yours." Y/n gasped. "Okay! Stop! This is no way to treat your guest, babe!" Both Pablo and Y/n looked at Ana confused. Guest? "Come back to ours!" Y/n looked back to Pablo, rolling his eyes at the sheer idea of her coming back for a few drinks. "I don't think that's a good idea-"

"Oh come on! Please?" Y/n looked into her friends eyes. She couldn't say no. "Only for a little while." Y/n replied quietly. Ana squealed and hugged her friend tightly. "My two favourite people having drinks with me. My lucky day." Ana chuckled. The trio got into the car and headed home. It was how their hangouts usually went; Pablo and Ana talking the whole time whilst Y/n sat in the back on her phone, practically forgotten about. Y/n was walking around the house aimlessly as Pablo and Ana did....couple things. She felt uncomfortable and the sooner she could get home, the better. Her phone buzzed, pulling her from her thoughts.

When you're coming up, could you bring me some perfume from the en suite plz???

Y/n looked at the text a bit confused, but wanting to be a good friend, she agreed. Y/n walked upstairs to meet the couple but make a quick stop at their bedroom. She stopped as she spotted Pablo rummaging around for something in the bathroom. "What are you looking for?" Y/n asked. Pablo looked back to her. "Just Ana's perfume. Do you know where it is?" Y/n looked confused. "But she sent me to-" The pair jumped as a loud thud was heard by the bedroom door closing. "I just say we tell her we can't find it. I've been looking for a good 5 minutes now and I don't think-" Pablo cut himself off as he tried to open the door. He pulled again, then started pounding at it. "What's wrong?" Y/n asked, clearly annoyed. "It's locked." He replied. "And how is it locked?" Y/n tried it for herself. "Ana! Ana, let us out!" Pablo shouted through the door.

"Let us out!" Y/n almost screamed. "Not until you two stop hating eachother!" Ana shouted back. "I'll go out to get dinner and when I get back, you guys better be on good terms!" Y/n and Pablo stood trying to convince Ana to let them out, but it didn't work. Ana still left and shut the front behind her. "That's at least a half an hour I have to be stuck with you." Pablo groaned and sat on the bed. "Believe me, I'm just as mad at this as you are."

"Why do you not like me? The sooner you tell me, the sooner we would be able to leave." Y/n said calmly, walking towards him. "Because Ana wasn't the friend I was meant to end up with that night." Y/n pulled a confused face, looking at the spaniard. "What do you mean?" She asked. "When we met? I didn't intend for me to bring Ana back to my place, I wanted you instead. But I saw you with some other guy so I didn't bother and I went home and slept with Ana." She was dumbfounded. "You liked me?" She asked, almost breathlessly. "I did, until you started arguing all the time. You got annoying and I couldn't get rid of you. You are Ana's best friend." They didn't know how but they had managed to get close, a little too close. Her eyes looked between both of Pablo's and do to his delicious looking lips, before trailing back up to his eyes. "Don't look at me like that." He whispered, sounding more like he was pleading. "Im not looking at you any differently than I always do." She whispered in turn. He had somehow gotten closer.

Pablo's hands rested on her hips, his lips closely shadowing hers. She felt his hot breath on her skin. "We shouldn't be doing this." Y/n whispered. "Then stop." He replied as if it was a simple solution for her. "I- Pablo. We-" She looked between his eyes. "I can't." His hands moved from her hips up her torso. "If you can't then stop me." He whispered. Y/n swallowed the lump in her throat. "Don't ask me to do that." She begged. "Why? Because you don't want me to?" She nodded shamefully. "Then we can keep this quiet and brief." Without much more warning, his lips began kissing the nape of her neck, her head falling back to give him more access. "Pablo." His name fell from her mouth like a sin. "Please." Her fingers ran through his hair, pulling and gripping the curled locks.

A wild grin fell onto his face. "For someone who can't do this, you're very eager." He said before kissing her hungrily, both lips fighting for dominance. "Listen, I am in the better position to be giving a tantrum right now. I just lost the game." Pablo walked backwards, with each step he hoped he would be landing on his bed and eventually he did. Y/n squealed at the sudden drop, making Pablo laugh. "That was funny." He chuckled. "Shut up." She said before delving right back in for another long kiss. Pablo turned them so he was on top. As each of his kisses deepened, he got harder and harder and it was difficult to ignore it. His hips began moving forward, trying his best to relieve the burning desire he held for her desperately. Y/n's hand made it's way down to his umissable bulge, a grin plastered on her lips.

"Dry humping? What are you a teenager?" Y/n challenged. Pablo sat up quickly and undid his zipper. "Alright then. If you want to be like that." He mumbled, before pulling at her trousers. Y/n reached down to the hem of her Barça shirt beginning to lift it when Pablo grabbed her hands. "No, keep the jersey on." Y/n let go of her shirt and smiled. "Whatever you want." She winked, before Pablo hooked her panties with his fingers and tugged. In one swift movement, the fabric was removed. He looked at her hungrily. "Fuck." He mumbled. "Well? Are you just going to stare or actually do something?" She asked.

Pablo's hands traced up her legs slowly, teasing her mercilessly. She whined as he pressed gentle kisses on her thigh, looking up at her almost coming undone from this alone. "Doesn't this have to be quick?" She asked, her hands falling to his head and tangling in his hair. "You're right for once." He rasped, taking his length out and lining up with her. The chain he wore dangled from his neck, prompting Y/n to reach up and bite it, grinning. In turn, this generally innocent act drove Pablo crazy and prompted him to delve into her. She gasped as Pablo took the first few thrusts gently.

She gripped onto his biceps as the noises slipped from their mouths like a sin. "It's okay?" He asked. Y/n nodded. "Quicker." With her permission, he sped up the pace. Her fingernails dug into his back, leaving light scrapes that would easily be gone by the morning. In turn, his teeth nicked and nibbled her neck, leaving marks behind. His name tumbled from her lips over and over again, whilst a chain of curses came from his. "You feel so good." He whispered, his thrusts becoming irregular and sloppy. She hummed in response. "Just for you." His hand traced a line down her middle, ultimately ending on her clit. He massaged it in a circular motion. He would be dammed if he finished before she did. Her mouth fell open as a soft gasp came with it. "You like that?" She nodded, not able to string together a sentence. "Good girl." He growled, turning back to kissing her neck. Her skin was ruined with dark lilac marks that looked like watercolour.

His hand travelled under the barca shirt, lifting it slightly. "You said-" His lips met hers. "Just be quiet and watch." He growled. She nodded in compliance as she focused on how his lips carefully drew bruises right down her core in an almost perfect straight line, his eyes looking up to make sure she was watching how he ruined her. "Can we make this any quicker?" He grinned. "Of course." His hips moved at a rapid pace as Y/n crumbled beneath him, each curse growing louder and louder until she finally came undone, her fingers pulling at his hair as she did. Pablo finished only a few thrusts after as the pair lay in eachother's arms for a moment, both just enjoying their highs, their foreheads resting off one another's. Their eyes opened to stare back at eachother and it settled in. They fucked up and they fucked up badly. Pablo swallowed the spit in his mouth and pulled out, heading to the en suite to grab a towel, chucking it to Y/n.

Y/n stared at herself in the mirror, lifting her shirt to see how her skin looked almost painted in red and purple. Pablo pulled up his trousers, stealing glances of Y/n as she stared at her reflection. "You should get ready. She'll be back soon." Pablo said quietly, his actions finally just settling in. "What do we tell her?" She asked. Pablo shrugged, heading to make the bed. "I don't know. I was thinking of ending it with her." Y/n turned, looking at him almost in disgust. "Over this?" Pablo scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself. I've been thinking of doing it for a while. This-" He wagged his finger between them. "Just confirmed I don't love her. So, I am going to break up with her next week and thankfully-" He paused and looked over to her. "We will never see eachother again." She nodded along. "Good. I don't think you deserve a girl like her." Y/n said. "I don't think you do either." He replied and he was right. What kind of a friend does what she just did?

A knock startled the deathly glances between them. "Are you finally friends now?" Ana's sweet voice asked through the door. Y/n didn't answer. She couldn't. "Yes, yes we are." Pablo answered. Ana unlocked the door and smiled. "Oh thank God. Now we can be civil." She pecked Pablo's cheek as he looked right back at Y/n. "Of course. Anything for you." He smiled lightheartedly. "Are you gonna staythe night?" Y/n looked between them both. "I might actually head home. I have class tomorrow." Ana looked at her confused. "But tomorrow is Sunday?"

"Yoga. I do yoga classes."

"Since when?"

"It's a six week thing? First one is tomorrow." Ana nodded. "Okay, well have fun. Message me when you get home." Y/n hugged her friend. She felt like she was lying right to her face, she betrayed her. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ana." She smiled, anticipating the moment she could leave. "Okay, I'll see you later." Ana smiled, unaware of the sins that had happened just moments ago in her own bedroom.

[falsebooles123]

Confessions of a Recovering Genre-Phobic 1/20/24

Hey Whores, I had to take my computer into the shop this week. (In turns out that it was the drivers after all), so my week has been a bit down and odd. Theres other reasons but I'm still sorting out my feels. Late January is being kidna a sad boy hour for me but it is what it is. So without further ado the music.

(How it felt to be without my compooter for a day)

Ramones (1976) - The Ramones

Genre: Punk Rock Length: 29:04 (14 Tracks)

Ima just quote wikipedia

"Ramones is considered an influential punk album in the United States and United Kingdom, and had a significant impact on other genres of rock music, such as grunge and heavy metal. The album was ranked at number 33 in Rolling Stone's 2003 list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time, maintaining the ranking in a 2012 revision and dropping to number 47 in the 2020 reboot of the list. It was placed first in the Rolling Stone 100 Best Debut Albums of All Time list in 2022. It was certified gold by the Recording Industry Association of America in 2014."

- 'Ramones (album) | Wikipedia'

and yeah I can here the influence they remind me of the Buzzcocks and The moldy Peaches and punk music in general and that ultimately becomes a bad thing for me.

Its a lot like my feelings towards the original blair witch that what I can only imagine was innovative sound in the mid-70s has now become genrelized. Statis quo for the further generations of punk musicians.

Ramones features a lot of minimilist lyrics and repatition and gritty mixing and sound and it doesn't really work for me. Perhaps, (and feel free to say so), it is just my tin ears unable to distinguish the nuance but I had a hard time distinguishing songs, and the lack of clarity in both the vocals and instrumentals while absolutly giving a punk sound didn't do much to distinguish themselves from my foggy recolations of other 70s punk acts. Hopefully I can come back to this album in a copy years and fall in love but for now It left me feeling wanting.

2/5

The Stage Names (2007) - Okkervil River

Genre: Indie Rock Length: 41:46 (10 Tracks)

My Internent went out last night, and by mine I do mean the vast majority of my state. Thanks Winter!

I'm tired so let me just say that this album is fantastic. The opening song is a straight banger that has been on my playlists for years and the rest of the songs continue the energy with a slightly more slow-down indie rock marathon. The lyrics are involved and meloncholic and overall this just speaks to me.

5/5

Blanket (2023) - Kevin Abstact

Genre: Rap Length: 37:37 (13 Tracks)

Recommending to me by a friend.

Kevin Abstract is a queer rapper from texas who used to be part of the Boy Band Bronkhampton.

As I am shit at describing music I'm just steal this description from an interview. "According to Kevin, he wanted “to make, like, a Sunny Day Real Estate, Nirvana, Modest Mouse type of record. But I wanted it to hit like a rap album.”

and yeah thats a really good way of describing it. The music has that kind of shoegaze etherial sound as Abstract raps about childhood trauma, queerness, and other such pleasantrys.

I'll be honest I didn't get a lot out of this album but I'll have to give it another listen one of these days.

3/5

My God (2023) - Tessa Violet

Genre: Pop

Length:

I'm sorry I wasn't expecting the girl-next door to wake up and decide to serve CUNT. Hunny. Diva, Icon, Slay.

Somewhat conceptionlized, (I'm talking out of my ass), as a rise from the ashes of more moody indie styling My God takes on a more diva styling with her Bad Bitch, My God, YES MOM, and BREAKDOWN. Which features a more Allie X style pop production and empowered lyrics. The faggot in me has no choice but to stan and the Straggot in me wants her to step on me so goddamn bad.

The rest of the songs on the album take on a more softer indie styling. 'Kitchen Song' is a standout as a near sappy romance song whilst other tracks deal with her more famalier themes of heartbreak.

I really liked this new direction and while the overall album didn't hit as hard for me as her earlier albums.

3.5/5

You Light Up My Life: Inspirational Songs (1997) - Leann Rimes

Genre: Country Length: 43:33 (12 Songs)

YLUML:IS is the second studio album by Leann Rimes and features you guessed the titular song which is the only thing I know by her.

I can say after listening to this album that I still don't know any other songs by this women.

Rimes has a beautiful voice and likes to focus on these kind of sentimental torch songs. The type of pastoral vaguly religious fair that would be big with like our mom or something.

It's nice enough but I think I agree with the original critics when they say that this doesn't seem like a strong second album. Hell this literally ends with her singing both Amazing Grace and the National Anthem. This is a album you would release at the end of your career. A bunch of classics as a way of polishing off your ourve. Not your second album which in my mind is where you really sink in and elevate your style. Odd choices. I'm noticing that I'm not a big fan of the classic albums that I've added to the list and thats dissapointed.

2.5/5

Well Whores. Thats all for this week. Hope your well.

[tillman]

A lot of thoughts about how galehaut could never recognize lancelot after like. U know. Everything happens. Hes just a completely different person in every way but I dont think that would matter too much. Tbh. Because lancelot even at the end of everything is just kind of a sad man who has never been treated like a person ever since he was younger and galehaut is galehaut and wouldnt care if he had killed him in a more personal hands on manner lol. Which makes me normal. But whatever

[spider-biter]

Table 25 (Steven Grant/reader)

Warnings: none

Words: a lot

Cross posted to Ao3! Reader is a host btw. This author doesn’t know how to add the read more area on mobile so 🫡

“Hey, I think we’re all good to go, just make sure the door is locked and you can leave,” I said to Becca, double checking the sections for tomorrow. Hostessing was just so fun.

“What? You getting overtime or something?” She raised her eyebrow. “Or do you have a super secret hot date right after this?” I rolled my eyes before grabbing the keys out of the drawer and passing them to her

“Shut up and lock the door or else I’ll make you stay and help the servers roll silverware,” I threatened.

“Fine by me then girl, just don’t get killed.” She quickly locked the door & double-checked it, before eyeing up table 25.

Table 25. The one that had held “mystery man” as we dubbed him. He clearly got stood up on a date, and I couldn’t help but stare at him all night. Rebecca had had an absolute field day with that.

“As if,” I scoffed, taking the keys away from her.

“You don’t know! The whole sad guy who got stood up could all be an act.” She whispered as she dug her own out of her purse.

“To do what exactly?”

“To… I don’t know!! Steal your kidneys!”

I smiled and rolled my eyes. “Fine, if I wake up tomorrow in a bath of ice minus one kidney I’ll call you. But for now go home!”

She flipped me off and then made half a heart with her pointer and middle finger before walking out the door.

I smiled and turned my attention back to the seating chart.

Check, check, and check.

Everything was all prepped for the openers, the sections were all cleared, it was just a few stragglers and….him.

Mystery man was around 5 9”, clearly British (which would’ve been -1 point but I am in London so), and had this aura about him. I would find myself glancing his way, staring at him throughout my shift. Of course my heart broke that he got stood up, I mean he looks like a 10. He was polite, even giving an old lady her quid that she dropped on the ground. And he was absolutely breathtaking.

His phone ringing snapped me out of my weird stalkerish trance.

Right. Job. Responsibilities. I signed off everything for the night and collected my things.

Punching in my number to clock out was quite possibly the slowest thing I’ve ever done. In all honesty I was dragging. What was tonight going to be except another night of the same exact thing I always do?

Sitting home alone with my cat, reading for class, taking a shower, then sleeping. I sighed. When was my life so boring? I should be out enjoying my life!!! But I’m stuck, at a shitty hosting job in a city that I’ve never even explored, with 3 friends, a cat, and no one else. Work was not the place to spiral so I quickly shoved those thoughts out of my head as I clocked out. I turned my head over to 25 to steal one last glance at mystery man.

His phone call seemed to be over, but in a very meloncholic way. His hand slowly dropped down, the phone long forgotten. He was muttering something under his breath, his brows furrowing in disbelief. It felt like slow motion, seeing his eyes get extra shiny, the aura around him completely shifting.

Something pushed me to go to him. It was one of those thoughts or impulses that shouted in your brain. It got louder

And louder

And louder.

The next thing I know, I’m 7 feet away from him and frozen.

What the actual fuck am I doing????

I don’t know him! I can’t just walk up to him and say “hi, I’ve been staring at you all night, and I have no idea who you are but should we go out on a date?” I should go home. Yep. That’s exactly what I should be doing.

Not messing with this man and his sad phone calls. Not getting involved in his life or getting lost in his eyes. Not planning out a life where we make breakfast together, study on late nights, or slow dance in our living room to Elvis Presley.

Not taking a risk that could end up being the best thing in my life.

Fuck.

The impulse was screaming in my head.

While I was having my quarter life crisis, his waiter finally came out of the back kitchen.

Time felt like it was in slow motion.

His waiter, Drew, approached him. “The kitchen is about to close sir, is there anything you would like before it does?”

I could feel my legs move towards table 25

“I- um- yeah-“ he stumbled over his words, clearly caught off guard. He cleared his throat, snapping him out of his own quarter life crisis.

Rebecca is gonna flip when she hears about this.

“We’ll have 2 house salads. No the tomatoes on mine, god I hate them.” I said. Both of them stared at me surprised as I set my bag down and sat in the plush leather chair.

“Also, please for godsakes, don’t have Allen make them. I swear to god he makes them taste like sand. Do you want tomatoes?” I asked the mystery man who was blinking at me as if I wasn’t real.

We sat in silence for all of 2 seconds before he finally caught up.

“To- oh yes! Um- sure I’ll gladly have tomatoes!”

“Strike 1.” I said smiling. “What dressing do you want?” I picked up the menu, even though I could recite all of the dressings in my sleep. Thank you training!

“Um- do you have balsamic?” He asked trying to search the menu.

Drew looked completely stunned. She had been staring at both me and the mystery man for a solid minute during the entire tomato-dressing conversation. Both I and the mystery man looked up at her when she finally snapped out of it and scribbled on her waiter pad.

“Yes! Yes we do have balsamic. You said 2 house?” She asked me.

I nodded and handed her my menu.

“One 86 tomatoes, with French vinaigrette. The other with balsamic. I’ll also take a water please. And you can just bring the check whenever, I know you wanna go home.” I smiled up at her and took mystery man’s menu out of his way, and passed it up to her. She shot me a smile of appreciation before grabbing them and hustling to the kitchen.

I turned back to MM and smiled.

Oh shit.

“Don’t forget my discount or I’ll double seat you next shift!” I quickly yelled back to her. She gave me a thumbs up out of the kitchen door.

I turned back to MM smiling. “Sorry if you didn’t want a salad” I blushed as reality finally hit me.

I’m on an impromptu date, with a random man I’ve never met, only gazed longingly at. What the actual fuck.

He seemed to be realizing the same thing too, except he also realized that I had said something.

“No! Nononono- I’m- im vegan so I was probably going to get the salad anyways- I mean I was about to go home but then you came in and now im about to eat a salad with a wonderful mystery person, who’s name I don’t even know…” he rambled.

Drew dropped a glass of water off at the table and winked at me as she went by. I flipped her off before turning back to mystery man.

“Well, to be fair I don’t know your name” I pointed out, sipping my water. He looked surprised before his eyes softened.

“Grant. Steven Grant,” he smiled

“Steven Grant. Do you normally introduce yourself like a super secret international spy or am I just special?” I raised my eyebrow.

He laughed.

And I’ve never heard anything more angelic in my life.

“Nope, ah- it’s just a you thing I guess” he smiled.

“Well Steven” I said elongating his name, “I do hope that if you are a super secret international spy, you at least bring me to one of those cool spy galas they always have.”

Just imagining this man in a full tuxedo did something that was not meant to be felt in my workplace.

He softly chuckled, “I wish- I’m just a gift shopist at the museum,”

“Do you like it?” I asked him.

“What?” He was caught off guard. He probably expected me to just nod and continue on.

“Do you like your job?” I questioned.

“I- um- yeah I guess so” he said

“Then you’re not ‘just’ a gift shopist. You’re doing something you love,” I smiled softly.

He furrowed his brow, as though he never thought of it like that. He looked up from his hands on the table and smiled at me. “Yeah- I uh- I guess so huh?”

“I promise I’m not usually this optimistic about life” I smirked.

“So it’s just a me thing huh?” He joked. My heart was going to beat right out of my chest.

“Yeah… it is just a you thing I guess” I repeated his words back to him, my chest filling with warm fuzzies.

We sat there like 2 idiots smiling before he quickly realized something.

“Well what do you do? Wait- well like obviously you host here but, besides that”

It was my turn to be embarrassed. “Um- I’m actually uh- getting my doctorate right now..” I looked away. I’ve never been this embarrassed talking about myself before. What was this man doing to me??

“Wicked!! That’s awesome, what are you studying?” He was genuinely interested. His eyes shined with excitement. I haven’t felt so validated in my life.

“Uh- The psychological theology side of ancient cultures with a focus on Egyptian and Aztec deities. Like why did they believe in these gods? Why are theirs animalistic when every other culture sees the gods as flesh and bone human?” I don’t know why I went into as much detail. Most dates I go on, they barely ask me what I do with my life, let alone the topic of my dissertation.

2 beats of silence and I wanted to bash my head through a door.

“That’s….. absolutely incredible”

What. The. Fuck.

“You think?”

“I know! That’s bloody amazing! Egyptians saw their gods as animals as a way to keep them tied to their specific nature throughout time-“ he cut himself off, as though he just realized something. “Was this entire conversation just to keep me from learning your name?” He said as a joke

“No of course not!” I said mock offended.

He leaned closer to my side of the table, smiling. “Then what is it?”

I rolled my eyes and said my name. He repeated it back.

“Ding ding ding. Although the last part might be changing soon” I smirked and stirred my drink.

“Changing? To what?” He said, very confused.

I smiled and leaned across the table. I whispered softly in his ear.

“Grant.”

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

Hey, so I know there's a lot of fics out there where Jask is comforting the reader. But I thought what if we had a fic where the reader and Jask are long time friends, and she meets him on the road as he's coming back from the argument looking rather meloncholic. And the reader takes it into her own hands to make sure that he is okay and cheers him up, and maybe there's a romantic moment caused by candlelight as she sings to him trying to make him laugh?

Fandom: The WitcherPairing: Jaskier x ReaderWord Count: 1,420 blaze itRating: TTaglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @mynamesoundslikesherlock @magic-multicolored-miracle  a/n: I pity the writers who eventually handle the reuniting/apology scene because they’re going to have a thousand fic authors staring it down, comparing it to the many versions they’ve written. Here is one of the many possible versions of post-mountain Jaskier comforting for you. Hope you like it!

It took you a moment to believe that it was truly Jaskier walking down the path. The man who approached walked in a subdued, slow way and not with the rollicking gait of your bard. He didn’t gesture even once, hands at his sides as he marched. His head looked to the ground instead of the sky as usual, something that had caused him to nearly collide with countless things that you always pulled him away from just in time. If it weren’t for the brilliant red of his doublet and trousers and the fine lute at his back you might have let him pass by unnoticed.

“Jaskier! You’ve returned early!” you called, leaning out the window of the little smithy you worked at. Jaskier looked up and there was the final proof; those forget-me-not eyes.

“Y/N,” he said, walking over to you in a sort of daze. You could practically see the raincloud that followed him. Every inch of him spoke of sadness and you felt guilty for being so damned happy to see him.

“Is everything alright? Was the trip more boring than you’d expected?” you asked. He gave a rueful smile, still not fully meeting your eyes.

“Ah, no, it was certainly eventful,” he answered.

“I’m going to be done here in a moment, want to wait while I work? Maybe start crafting your song for the adventure?” you offered. He usually jumped at the chance to work there, claiming that the smithy was the perfect place to work, the clanging of the hammers providing an epic backdrop to his writing.

“I don’t want to be a bother,” he murmured. You frowned, growing more worried by the moment.

“You aren’t a bother,” you insisted, “I’d like you to stay.”

At this, he looked up, and his eyes met yours with a glimmer of hope in them. You smiled encouragingly and though he didn’t return it, he nodded and followed you over to his usual corner not far from your usual anvil. He didn’t write as you worked, he just stared out at the mountain silently. You worked as fast as you could without damaging the quality of the shield you were making and as soon as it was done you returned to Jaskier, wiping the beaded sweat from your forehead with the back of your hand.

“Alright, I’ve an idea,” you suggested, pulling his attention back to you, “I will make us a lovely little picnic and we will go to the orchard near my home and we can talk about whatever you’d like. Or I can do the talking! Either way there shall be words.”

He opened his mouth to respond and you saw the conflict in his eyes.

“I insist so you might as well just jump to the part where you agree to come,” you said, a determined glint in your eye that he knew better than to argue against. He nodded again and you parted ways, hurrying home to bathe and gather what you needed to get ready. It didn’t take you long before you’d washed, changed, and pulled together a basket filled with food and a few extra supplies you’d decided you should bring. You got to the orchard before him which gave you time to set out the blanket and the candles you’d brought to provide some light, though you made sure they weren’t close enough to any trees to cause catastrophe. By the time Jaskier arrived you were just uncorking the wine.

“Did you do this all…”

“For you?” you finished for him, “Yes, yes I did.”

“But… why?” he asked bluntly. Jaskier wasn’t one to question a good thing and your stomach twisted with worry. Whatever had happened on the mountain must have been unspeakably awful.

“Well because I… care very much for you and appreciate the time we get together,” you answered simply. Jaskier stared at you for a moment, sad eyes warring with an uncertainty that wasn’t like your usually confident bard. You patted the empty spot next to you on the blanket and he joined, resting his lute behind him on the grass. As you ate the simple but delicious meal you provided you made good on your promise to talk. You told him anecdotes of things that had happened in town since he’d been gone and you even got him to chuckle when you described an incident involving a chicken, a cow, and a gardener. You watched him begin to relax but there was still a lingering sadness that you were determined to dispel.

“Will you sing for me?” you asked, gesturing to the lute. Jaskier was always quick to comply, loving nothing more than entertaining people. But his eyes fell away from yours again as he replied.

“Ah… maybe not tonight, if that’s ok,” he replied. There was a beat of silence and then you reached for the lute yourself. You never would have dared to touch his prized possession but if this was what it took to jar him from his melancholy, it was a price you were willing to pay. You saw his eyes widen as you took it in hand, trying to remember how he held the damn thing and where to put your fingers. You cleared your throat and fixed him with a solemn look, straightening your spine in an officious way.

“Then may I present to you the Ballad of the Bard,” you said and then strummed. Well, more accurately you plunked the cords in a way that made you both wince and the hint of a smile twitch at the corner of his mouth. You had no song prepared, of course, but you were quick-witted and started singing, trusting the words and tune would come to you magically.

“There is a bard so blue of eye

That you may think that you have died

If you but glimpse its… its… cornflow’r hue

And feel his charm wash over you

His name it means buttercup

But he is no frail flower

In talents no one measures up

So great are his… song… powers…?”

Jaskier snorted, the most beautiful sound you heard followed by laughter as he waved apologetically.

“I’m so sorry, no, that’s… that’s brilliant truly, do continue,” he said through chuckles. You stood up, careful not to let the hem of your dress brush the flames that licked at them, and Jaskier gazed up at you with a familiar twinkle in his eye.

“Oh he’s a dandy fellow, yes

Always dressing to impress

But if you get a glimpse blow

The layers there is more to show….

Oh that got a bit… that got a bawdy didn’t it?” you stopped yourself, blushing a little as some of your more private thoughts about the bard slipped in.

“Some of the best songs are,” Jaskier replied, reaching up a hand to held you down. You stumbled a little, knocking him back and landing on his chest, noses bumping against each other. The soft blue eyes looked into yours and you knew he could feel the violent beating of your heart against his chest. His eyes fell to your lips and he licked his own, momentarily lost in thought. You stayed like that for a moment, afraid to move lest this moment end but equally afraid of what may happen next.

“Jaskier,” you said breathlessly, “You’re… on fire.”

“Yes,” he replied, just as breathlessly, “Yes I feel… a great burning for you…”

“No Jaskier you’re literally on fire, move!” you cried, seizing a fistful of blanket to smother the flames that began to lick at his doublet, sending bits of bread and cheese flying. Jaskier quickly shrugged out of his now charred doublet, wearing only his undershirt with his generous glimpse of chest hair and you tried not to stare as you gathered the blanket and the strewn items.

“Well adding a fire element was a new thing I must say,” Jaskier joked, “Not enough bards use fire.”

“It wasn’t intentional I assure you. And I think I’ve proven tonight that I am no bard,” you laughed.

“Oh I don’t know,” Jaskier argued, “I thought your song was very inspiring.”

You pulled the blanket together with Jaskier’s help and he threw the sack over his shoulder.

“I’ll follow you, then?” he asked, giving you a meaningful look. You knew there was still more to talk about and you wanted him to confide in you. But you also knew what that look meant.

There would be time to talk in the morning.

[desolationlovers]

oh yall thought i was done x posting? lol. kamui character rant under the cut

the thing about kamui is i dont know that hes a very deep character??atleast not how clamp has written him and esp not in the manga.

he spends a lot of the manga being confused and often manipulated. and hes really just a kid.

his first big character arc is debastardization basically. when hes introduced hes a TOTAL asshole (the anime added scenes to make him more of a dick at the start but also has a bit of an explaination? ill get to it). hes shown as very rude to everyone around him, yelling at people to get out of his way or get lost, including his previous friends. hes also shown to have absolutely no care for his surrondings and regularly fights and uses his powers in places where bystanders could be injured and leaving roads bridges or nearby buildings in ruins. when confronted about the latter by hinotos knight (his name is saiki) he straight up says he doesnt care if anyone gets hurt. which i mean ok nothing wrong with a character being an asshole. the extreme in your face way kotori and fuuma describe kamui as a kid being very shy and Very quiet and gentle makes this characterization confusing but hey people can change i guess. the confusing part is that as kamui slowly beings to let his guard down he says that the big reason he was so standoffish especially wrt kotori and fuuma was because he wanted to keep them at a distance so they wouldnt get involved with all the end of the world stuff. which makes sense obviously! kamui was absolutely aware of how dangerous it might get. his entire plan was to get the shinken (the sacred sword) and bail because he didnt want any part of any of it. what i dont get is why he was totally cool with bystanders being injured or killed. during his fight with saiki they were in a neighborhood! on people roofs and shit!! saiki is the one to lead them to an abandoned construction site so no one gets caught in the crossfire. and kamui almost kills saiki!!! which i will let slide a bit because kamui was being followed and had been attacked by spells literally that morning. but later on he apologizes to saiki but never explained his reasoning why he didnt care about destroying peoples houses??? and its never brought up again?????? also theres a scene added to the anime where he kicks the shit out of kotori and fuumas dad??? because he wouldnt give kamui the sword?? bro thats ur best friends dad you jackass!!!!!

in the anime they added flashbacks for the time after he moved away from tokyo which i think make his whole character make much more sense. when he first moves and goes to a new school he accidentally uses his powers and makes everyone afraid of him. fast forward past elementary school to high? school? its unclear. at school hes a lazy slacker that never goes to class and never talks to anyone, big ol loner. he sees that a local gang has been stealing kids money and beating them up. so he decides to put on a tough guy persona and confront the gang telling them to knock it off and scaring them shitless with some fun ass kicking psychokenesis. now i am SO on board with this addition. kamui being ostrisized for being weird and scary when hes already a super shy kid, so he embraces this scary intimidating image and tries using it for good because hes still ultimately kind hearted. he gets too absorbed in this tough guy persona that he loses touch with the original purpose of it and just uses it as a shield because he himself is afraid and confused. and maybe even hiding behind it because hes so afraid of having this huge destiny that he doesnt know if he can live up to and how can someone who decides the fate of the world be just some quiet oversensitive guy.

except all of that is my own speculation and analysis because they really do not go into ANY detail about this. i wouldnt say its to the point where it feels like they just flipped a switch and hes nice now but it def feels like that. and it annoys me because after he kind of apologizes for being a dick it doesnt really get brought up again?? i think he broods over it once or twice. but i would have really liked to see flashes of it coming back in high stress situations or something? he has a lot of points of grief and depression but its always meloncholic rather than angry and it really makes him feel like two different characters i wish it was way more of a mix.

anger would also be good with the whole overarching theme of trying to break out of the path destined for you. its constantly said that theres only one future by the dreamgazers although hinoto wants to change it. its supposed destined that kamui will lose and earth will be destroyed. anger but more importantly PASSION is whats needed break out of what has been preordained and to carve your own path. passion is also whats needed for the main part of the second half of kamuis character arc, figuring out what it is he REALLY wants. what his true wish is.

i also think anger could have been a good inverse to the deliberate mirroring of kamuis character and subarus character. subaru really represents despair and being completely swallowed by grief. his story is that the man he fell in love with (named seishiro) was just manipulating him for fun and is actually an emotionless assassian. subaru is so destroyed by this realization he goes into a depression and because of this is unable to save his sister being killed by seishiro. his goal is literally to be enough of a nusance to seishiro that hell kill him. literally he wants to be acknowledged as important enough to bother killing. its pointed out often how subaru and kamui are so similar, with how fuuma killed kotori, and how theyre both kindhearted ro a fault. its an intentional reflection. subaru even pulls kamui out of a similar depressive state after kotori dies. he and kamui have a whole heart to heart about how some peoples happiness can look pitiful to others and how hes going to fufill his goals even when other people are worried for him. and most importantly about how not everyone can be happy with an outcome. i think it would have been really good for subaru to represent someone overcome with depression about how awful the world is and paralyzed with that sadness and kamui would be the rightous anger and compassion needed to actually change the world. “lets this radicalize you rather than lead you to despair” you know? it would have been a really good parallel considering part of x’s themes are literally about having compassion for humanity. but that reading possibly shoots itself in the foot because the language used wrt the two possible futures are things to stay as they are or for a “revolution” to occur, meaning killing everyone to let the earth heal. so ideas of change are insinuated to be connected with the seven angels and genocide. which uh. not going to get into that.

i do like when he starts going to the clamp school he goes back to being shy and quiet and kind of gets pushed around by people with more force of personality. very fun uncomfortably relatable. its ok man im extremely passive too.

anyway final thoughts kamui needs more passion. clamp give me the rights. also let subaru and kamui hang out and have a brotherly bond. no creepy shit. just subaru being an akward older brother that knows what kamuis going thru and gives bad advice bc he has god awful coping mechanisms.

side note we arent ever told about his likes/dislikes hobby or anything of that nature. the blankest of slates. so my city now. i think hes into obscure indie music and has thousands of hours in various life sim games like animal crossing and stardew valley.

[btsandvmin]

Maybe the lyrics to SN are very well just about the drama/webtoon. Since he's such a fan. But (delulu hat on) if its indeed about Jimin, I don't think it's that sad of a deal. He's just depicting the emotions he or one goes through if they do fall for their best friend. There's still hope in those lines imo. It's just the "how" that needs figuring on their ends. Also that meloncholic wintery feel to lyrics and/or sound has become a signature Tae style now. It fits his personality so much!

Yeah, they could be about the drama/webtoon. I haven’t read it or seen it so I have no clue after all. But sure if it is about Jimin it could be confusion about it from something he has felt before. And there is hope, it’s just not a lot. Basically like a missed chance but also hope for a second chance to see if it’s a love that can become something more.

I do agree with that it fits Taehyung’s style, but then the question is if the theme comes from his style of if the style comes from his thoughts and feelings. Either way it’s a really nice song and it’s interesting that he does sing about feelings changing for someone, and even mentioning “best friend”. I think those are the parts that make this almost look a little bit like a confession from Tae’s side. And at the very least he has now shown that he probably agrees that you can fall in love with your best friend. Because trust me, that is something anti vmin people have said basically doesn’t for a long time. Anyways, I am very curious to see if Tae will say anything else about this song, and also if he has more songs to release if they might be of a similar kind or not.