#makes me wonder about the ties between autism and telling the truth

[brucewaynehater101]

Y'all, every once in a while I get reminded of changeling. Instead of thinking about how its a weird folktale, I think about how its origins are probably ableist.

Changeling are children the fae switched out at birth. They look just like the og child, and there's no physical difference between them. For some reason, the fae just wanted you to raise their kid instead of yours (look into the myth yourself if you want more clarity).

So, how can you tell if your child has been replaced by a changeling? If it acts weird. There's no way that you would birth a child with habits, thoughts, and movements not compared to your own. If the child acts strange (aka neurodivergent), then they killed the child. After all, that's not your child and changeling are bad.

That sad part about this is that either the child gets killed alone for being different, or the mom probably gets killed as well for birthing the kid.

So....

[pigeonwit]

for the ask game! 18, 19, 22, 27, 28 and 35

18. choose a passage from your writing. tell me about the backstory of this moment. how you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

It’s not technically a lie, but there’s no way for him to explain the truth – not in a way Jack would understand. Not in a way anyone would understand, maybe. Because there’s no way to properly explain the ways in which Davey’s both old and young, adult and child, but never quite in between. He knows how he talks, how he holds himself – not many seventeen year olds would say the word auspicious in casual conversation. And he knows he’s a more than a little bit prudish, cringing away from spit-shakes and rough-housing and all the other manners of boys being boys that always felt so immature to him. But as old as he might be in some ways, there are still pieces of him that feel raw and undeveloped, so very oblivious to the facts of life that seemed to come so easily to everyone else. Everyone else seemed to know what to do and how to do it without ever being told, and Davey – Davey was a child who still needed instructions. Sarah was flying through school while Davey trudged his way through algebra. Les had taken to selling papes like a natural, and Davey had needed Jack to hold his hand. His father understood the rules of men – how they spoke, how they lied, how to lie without lying – but Davey… Davey’s not sure he’s even a man. He’s older than his schoolmates, older than the newsies, perhaps even older than his father in some ways – but he still feels like he’s only a boy.

so this is one of my favourite passages that i've ever written, and technically, it didn't start with run boy run! the whole 'old and young' thing is something i've always mediated on ever since high school. when i was younger, i felt so much older than all my peers; they were doing regular kiddish shit and i was there wondering what the point of it was. i didn't really understand how to be a kid. and then they started growing up, drinking, dating, and i was so shocked because i didn't understand when everyone suddenly decided to Grow Up and how i missed that meeting - i was suddenly so much younger and less experienced than everyone else, yet somehow still a boring child-sized adult. it's an isolating experience that's confused me for years, to the point where i had to make my peace with the fact that adolescence is something i'll never get to experience. which is sad, sure, but it made this, and i'm proud of that. as for re-writing it, most of it came about in one go - once i started ruminating on how davey would experience this kind of isolation, it all just flowed out. but one thing that went through some shifts is the mention of davey's father; when RBR was in it's first drafts (before my sexy little Menty B that stopped me from writing for like two years) the fic was going to focus much more on davey's internalized homophobia and heteronormativity rather than his autism and internalized ableism, which meant his father would've had a much bigger role. there was going to be more focus on davey trying to be a man the same way his father is a man, one who is very straight and very masculine, who provides, who's clever, who understands what's expected of him even though he knows it's unfair. the 'how to lie without lying' part was going to be MUCH more important, as davey was going to accompany his father to his new job and realize just how much more intricate Being a Man is than he'd first assumed (this also would've tied into him lying-without-lying to himself about his relationship with florence). but then this naturally sent me down a bit of an autism rabbit-hole and i realized oh wait this story's about autism now. ok. sick.

19. tell me a story about your writing journey. when did you start? why did you start? were there bumps along the way? where are you now and where are you going?

there's no real 'why' as to why i started writing, i just. did it. i was always very imaginative as a kid and i'd always make stories and characters up in my head. i'd write my own in little notebooks but i didn't really know enough to make them properly original. eventually i started getting really into anime and in googling some stuff i found fanfiction, which. was a time. ff.net is a wild rodeo. anywhore i wrote some really shitty self-insert oc bullshit and then spent a while reading and gradually began writing really really BAD stuff that improved over time. i started at around 12 which makes it around nine years now? i guess the 'why' is that i just write because i can't not do it - i think about things all the time and i like sharing those thoughts. as for bumps, i mean - just general self-doubt and insecurity, and then some family trauma that made me give up on it for a few years, but like i said, i can't NOT think of things, so i built myself back up, read more stuff, experienced more things, started writing privately just for me and then started posting my stuff when i got more confident about it. it's going well i think! as for where i'm going with it, i'm studying creative writing at uni and i definitely have motivations within the industry, hopefully with script-writing and teaming up with an artist to make a graphic novel - i'm not sure i have a full written novel in me, but i definitely have stories.

22. how organized are you with your writing? describe to me your organization method, if it exists. what tools do you use? notebooks? binders? apps? the cloud?

not at all! my 'method' is 'have an idea, write it down, see what happens'. that's why i don't like posting fics unless i have a clear idea of how they're going to end; i don't like waiting to post until i've finalized everything but i at least want to know that i have an idea that i'm going to finish instead of just leaving everyone and myself high and dry. but if i have a good thought or something that makes me go 'oh there's something there' or 'oh that would work for [x character]' then i jot it down in a notebook or my notes app.

27. who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? why?

probably jack - there's a lot of conflict within his character that makes his motivations kind of complicated, so writing him in an effective way is difficult for me. i can never quite get him down 100%.

28. who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? why?

i mean the obvious answer is davey because i just connect to him so well and i feel like i can get into his thought process very easily, but besides that i'd say crutchie, he was a really pleasant surprise to write :) especially matthew duckett's crutchie. there's so many layers to why crutchie acts the way he does and whether or not he'll reject or accept a person's kindness towards him - it's why i like writing the crutchtrack fic i'm working on so much.

35. what’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

'dont start a sentence with a connective' is the dumbest rule in the world. thought processes don't work like that - people constantly second-guess themselves and add addendums to their beliefs, and connecting all their thoughts into one sentence creates this idea that these thoughts are occurring to the character all at once, which is DUMB. i write HOT! MESSES! they do not THINK. they do not have HEALTHY METHODS OF PROCESSING. they have their little 'oh. oh.' realizations and the whole world suffers for it. good day.

[lost-caticorn]

Why I think Shigeo Kageyama (Mob) is autistic

Quick word before analysis:

I don’t know what the author of mob psycho 100% had in mind when he created this character. This is only me sharing my point of view. Take it for what it’s worth.

Autism is a spectrum, the following characteristics don’t represent its entirety. Also english isn’t my language. I’m just doing my best to convey my thoughts ^^

1. Lies, being fooled, implicit meanings

Since the first episode, Shigeo is a character that appears to be very gullible and is often qualified of “softy”.He clearly has trouble telling if people are lying to him or having malicious intent. He seems to believe everything that he’s told as if other people were as honest as him (sad truth being that they’re not).

Some people might just see this as an endearing character trait or a quirk but I think this is a first hint at autism. Most people on the spectrum have trouble to distinguish between lies and truth or sarcasm and honesty because we have difficulty reading between the lines.

There are so many examples of this side of him like the fact that he doesn’t even suspect Reigen of lying to him about having psychic abilities or him not thinking that Dimple (エクボ) has malicious intent when he follows him around. But I think the following dialogue summarise this point perfectly:

2. meltdown (the whole 0-100% concept)

First of all what is a meltdown? A meltdown is “an intense response to overwhelming situations. It happens when someone becomes completely overwhelmed by their current situation and temporarily loses behavioural control. This loss of control can be expressed verbally (shouting, screaming, crying), physically (kicking, lashing out, biting) or in both ways”.

Shigeo being in a cycle of slowly getting to 100% and exploding with psychic powers is really similar to the way meltdowns work. We see him getting through the day accumulating small things like unexpected events, social interactions, conflicting feelings or an overload of sensations all of which bring him closer to loosing control of his emotions.

In my opinion this sounds exactly like a meltdown.

3.  facial expression

Something quite common for people with autism is to have trouble expressing feelings not only with words but also with facial expressions that don’t match what we’re trying to convey. Mob isn’t expressionless but the changes between his usual face and his others expressions are quite subtle.

4. Lacking social skills

His problems in socialisation are obvious from the start but it becomes even more prominent in the third episode of season 1 with Dimple’s sect. This episode shows us how Mob was always left out of group with children his age because he simply couldn’t read the atmosphere.

In the anime this line is translated by “get a clue” but it doesn’t really match the Japanese words used here “空気を読む” which means “read the situation/sense the mood”. Also I think it’s worth mentioning that in episode 4  he literally names it the “reading-in-the-mood technique” (空気を読む技術). This just illustrates how non-natural this is to him.

Again this is something anyone on the spectrum can probably relate to. Mob is clearly hurt by people constantly telling him to read the mood when he just can’t! 

5. Trouble expressing feelings:

In the same episode with Dimple and his sect, it is made very clear that Shigeo has two difficulties: Reading the mood and expressing how he feels. It’s not that he doesn’t want to smile I’d even say that at one point (when Dimple uses his power on him and it doesn’t work) he wants to laugh like everyone else but he can’t. 

Dimple then assumes that Mob has no emotions which leads to him saying this:

How many times have people on the spectrum heard this because they couldn’t read and express emotions the same way than most people do? My heart sank when he said that to Mob...

6. Monotone voice

I didn’t find a video of just Mob talking to illustrate this but it’s really obvious in the anime (I only watch in VO so I don’t know about the dub). Mob always talk with the same tone except when he’s at 100%

This is also something widely experienced by people with autism who often say something with the “wrong” tone of voice and it ends up sounding mean, sarcastic or uninterested.

7. bad at sports

This might seem unimportant but I found interesting that Mob was introduced to us as someone absolutely terrible in sports because usually heroes in Shonen mangas are more on the athletic side.

While Mob being bad at sports doesn’t automatically means he’s autistic, I think this is a hint more in that direction as most people on the spectrum are often affected by dyspraxia.

What is dyspraxia? Dyspraxia is “a form of developmental coordination disorder (DCD) is a common disorder affecting fine and/or gross motor coordination in children and adults”.

8. Bullied in parallel reality

So season 2 is incomplete for now but I just watched episode 5 and I decided to add this point to my list. Apparently some people are arguing about the accuracy of the version of mob in the parallel reality that Mogami showed him. In my opinion it was very accurate.

Mob’s environnement is perfect for him. His power (even thought he doesn’t use it much in his daily life) helps him connecting with others (his brother, Reigen, bodybuilding club,...). Because he is in such a good environnement he can thrive and become a better version of himself.

Not everyone is born with the chance Mob has. Growing up in a loving family, making caring friends, having kind teachers or meeting an adult that will guide you...These are probably things most of us wish were part of our life. Especially for neurodivergent people that are often confronted to rejection.

In my opinion this episode showed very well how people who identifies with mob’s characteristics are actually treated in the real world. In a world where they don’t have a cool power that creates ties with other people. In a world where the harsh reality of being bullied, hit, ignored, mocked and harassed is common for people that are considered “different”.

This episode physically hurt me while watching but I hope I was able to make a point without being too emotional. 

Conclusion:

So that’s it. These are the main reasons why I think Shigeo is on the autism spectrum. There are still a few but they would be more arguable so I’m going to keep these to myself. Feel free to disagree with my opinion but please be respectful.

In the end I think this show contains so many powerful life advices that can help anyone who’s neurodivergent. Mob is such a wonderful character and I’m glad others are not making a fool out of him like it would have been the case in so many others anime/TV shows.

I’d like to conclude with a quote of Reigen. This is in my opinion one of the best speech in the history of anime:

“Listen, just because you have psychic powers doesn’t change the fact that you’re a human. People who run fast, people good at studying or people with strong body odour. Psychic powers are just another characteristic. You must embrace that as a part of yourself and continue to live positively. The truth behind one’s charm is kindness. Become a good person. That’s all.”

If anyone read this until the end thank you!!

[folkpages]

Review: Lady Midnight

Clare, C (2016). Lady Midnight. Margaret McElderry Books. 

4/5 stars

‘We are more than the single actions we undertake, whether they be good or evil.’

Synopsis: The Shadowhunters of Los Angeles star in the first novel in Cassandra Clare's newest series, The Dark Artifices, a sequel to the internationally bestselling Mortal Instruments series.

It's been five years since the events of City of Heavenly Fire that brought the Shadowhunters to the brink of oblivion. Emma Carstairs is no longer a child in mourning, but a young woman bent on discovering what killed her parents and avenging her losses. Together with her parabatai Julian Blackthorn, Emma must learn to trust her head and her heart as she investigates a demonic plot that stretches across Los Angeles, from the Sunset Strip to the enchanted sea that pounds the beaches of Santa Monica. If only her heart didn't lead her in treacherous directions… Making things even more complicated, Julian's brother Mark-who was captured by the faeries five years ago-has been returned as a bargaining chip. The faeries are desperate to find out who is murdering their kind-and they need the Shadowhunters' help to do it. But time works differently in faerie, so Mark has barely aged and doesn't recognize his family. Can he ever truly return to them? Will the faeries really allow it? Glitz, glamours, and Shadowhunters abound in this heartrending opening to Cassandra Clare's Dark Artifices series. (x)

Lady Midnight was honestly one of my favourite books in quite a while. Clare has written beautiful imagery, relatable characters, fascinating plots and intriguing moral queries. The humour was on point (I still catch myself giggling occasionally at pizza) and while I had my doubts at her ability to pull off a murder mystery, she has done a wonderful job and I had no idea who the murderer was until it was revealed. 

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

Plot: Emma Carstairs’ parents were ritualistically murdered 5 years ago, and new murder victims have been found having been murdered the same way. As it so happens some of the victims have been faeries, which Emma shouldn’t care about due to the Cold Peace, a treaty of non-interaction between the faeries and shadowhunters after the event of the Dark War. However, Emma’s parabatai’s brother was stolen by faeries 5 years ago and the faerie’s promise to return him for two weeks if they solve the murders and allow Mark (said brother) to choose if he’d like to remain with the humans or faeries following that. Adding to all this some side plots including the classic forbidden romance between Emma and her parabatai Julian, Mark and Emma’s new friend Cristina plus his longstanding thing with Faerie Prince Kieran plus a mysterious tutor, a mysterious old friend/love interest of Cristina’s and a mentally ill guardian, this book is packed full of action!

Pro: The murder mystery was absolutely fantastic. The murders tied in wonderfully with the beautiful worldbuilding Clare includes in this novel, and I honestly did not see many of the plot twists coming. I could not for the life of me work out who the murderer was (I thought it was Johnny Rook for a while) and who it was and what their motivation was blew me away!

Con: I did not like the main male-lead Julian and I did not like the main romance between him and Emma. I personally found Julian to be rather creepy in his ‘love’ for Emma which came off rather stalker-like to me. I also didn’t like the resentment he seemed to hold for being the care-giver of his family, but I’m pretty sure that’s just because it was super relatable to me personally. He was well-written, and his motivations were solid, I just didn’t like his treatment of Emma and thus their relationship which is why my rating of this book is 4 stars rather than 5.

Pro: Representation. Clare gives us LGBTQ+ rep with wonderful bisexual Mark Blackthorn and boyfriend Kieran as well as (I’m assuming as its never explicitly labelled) autistic Ty Blackthorn who is utterly darling and daring; a tech geek and brilliant knife combatant. I can’t comment too much on Ty as I’m not autistic but he was wonderfully written with his autism being prevalent in all his scenes but never the focus of it (unless we are hearing from Julian’s POV).

Emma Carstairs: I personally really enjoyed Emma’s character. For all she was the strong female character with a sword, she wasn’t just a ‘strong female character with a sword’ trope. She was a very emotional character and wasn’t afraid to let people know how she was feeling; her motivations were clear and understandable and her relationships with the other characters were incredibly nuanced and strong. However, towards the end of the book I feel she became a little weaker; she didn’t tell Julian the truth about the parabatai curse and was very insensitive (manipulative? I’m not sure which word is quite correct but assume it’s a bad one) to Mark with her request at the end even if he did agree to it. Overall, I really liked her but kind of wanted to shake her at the end.

Julian Blackthorn: I’ve already talked about Julian in the Con, but to rehash: I don’t like him but he was well-written.

Mark Blackthorn: First off, I just want to say that I am so glad for more bisexual representation thank you Cassandra Clare! Mark Blackthorn has honestly made my top characters of all-time list and here’s why: Mark is a half-faerie half-shadowhunter boy who was stolen by faeries to join the Wild Hunt during the events of The Mortal Instruments wherein he was used and abused and fell in love with exiled faerie Prince Kieran. In Lady Midnight he is bartered as a prize to get the Blackthorn’s and Emma to investigate murders and he goes through so much in the space of the two-week period this novel is set. He acts as a moral support for Cristina who he grows to care about deeply, he works with and against Julian and Emma as he needs to and bonds with his younger siblings all while struggling with his identity as a faerie and a shadowhunter and navigating his relationship with Kieran. Mark is an absolute gem; as capricious as a faerie but still truly kind and honourable and vulnerable and I just love him so much!

Cristina Mendoza Rosales: Cristina is a strong character and a wonderful person! Cristina is new to the LA Institute and Emma’s new best friend and honestly such a joy. Beautiful bilingual badass, Cristina is at once moral support to both Emma and Mark, helping Emma through her anger and grief at her parent’s death on top of her feelings for Julian, she helps Mark adjust to shadowhunter life while also being set up as a potential love interest. She also is crucial to the murder plot and has so much to add beyond being a love interest and she is honestly wonderful to read about.

Blackthorn Kids: There are so many of them I’m gonna loop them all in together. Ty and Livvy are brilliant characters with their own distinct motivations and conflicts. Dru, while not being all that important in the book, had her own unique personality and strengths. Tavvy, the baby of the group, was utterly darling and so important to the plot which I honestly did not see coming? Kudos to Clare for creating side characters that I enjoy!

Overall: I adored this book and I will definitely be picking up the sequel. I’d recommend giving it a try even if you weren’t a big fan of The Mortal Instruments as its quite a step away. The characters are solid, the plot is intriguing and honestly the writing is absolutely beautiful. I’ll leave you with 4/5 stars and this gem:

“This cat is looking at me with judgement.”

“He’s not,” said Jules. “That’s just his face.”

“You look at me the same way,” Mark said, glancing at Julian. “Judgy face.”

Lady Midnight is the first in Cassandra Clare’s The Dark Artifices trilogy. The second and third books Lord of Shadows and Queen of Air and Darkness are available now.