#making new friends monster energy (lime)

[iv4mpirs0]

long bus rides, tents, uno no mercy, late night giggles, cup song, barefoot in mud, decent showers, ping pong, friendship bracelets, silverberg mine, making new friends monster energy (lime), watching heroes of envell half asleep, espresso in a can, s'mores on wet sticks

[sasquapossum]

Energy Drinks

Quite a while ago, I think in 2004 or so, I became aware of energy drinks. I decided I liked the idea (as I had when Jolt came and went years earlier), so I undertook my own survey of the genre. This being the time it was, I started with Red Bull. Hated it. Still do. It, and many others, didn't even try to mask the caffeine bitterness. A few tried to overwhelm it with some other flavor, usually to disappointing effect. There's also something specific to Red Bull (all varieties) that seems to make it even worse IMO, but I've never quite put my finger on it and I'm not going to drink more to figure it out. For all I know it's one of those genetic things, where a flavor that's fine for most people tastes like crap to me. That's definitely the case with stevia, and to a lesser extent with guarana, so I can't rule it out but it also doesn't really matter. Red Bull just tastes awful to me.

The one standout at the time was (original) Monster. Instead of trying to mask or overwhelm the caffeine flavor, they tried to complement it with a flavor that at first seemed vaguely cinnamon-ish to me. I've since decided it's probably the panax (Siberian) ginseng, though I've never been 100% sure. Again, it doesn't really matter; I've been a fan ever since. The guava-oriented flavors - first M-80 but revived periodically under nearly a dozen other names - are good too, but I always end up coming back to the original. I even made a coaster with something like the Monster logo once, and use a picture of it as my phone's lock screen.

(A bit washed out in normal light, but it glows in the dark. It's on my nightstand right now.)

Since then, I might have tried a hundred other energy drinks. Every time I see a new one - and everybody's throwing caffeine and sugar water into a can nowadays - I'm likely to try it. My friends consider me an expert on the subject. Of all those, there are only a few that I'd say I actually enjoy drinking.

Rockstar Punched

Original NOS

Prime lemon/lime

What has always seemed odd to me is that very few makers seem to pursue the coconut angle. I make my own sometimes, combining Five Hour Energy with one of the coconut drinks that have become almost as ubiquitous as energy drinks, and the result is quite good. Somebody with more ingredients on hand could probably experiment more and come up with something very good, but AFAICT Red Bull is the only one who has even tried. If I were still young and looking for a way to make a living, it's something I might almost consider trying myself. But I'm not, so I remain just a consumer.

[naomithespirit]

Puppet Waltz - Some Random Thoughts

It is now currently Oct. 2nd at 4:09 AM and I am writing this out because I have the energy. This is mostly going to be a post sharing the random thoughts stewing around in my head. And I will now be sharing as many as I can. The New Addisons: I mentioned in the previous post I had that I made some Addison OCs and, yeah. They exist. They're present and I think they're very cool. So lemme list them off. Red - Red, with the name of Adrian, is the first of the new Addisons and uses She/Her Pronouns. What she advertises is stuff mainly focused around weapons. Things like halberds, boxing gloves, swords, a lot of things. She's very proud of this stuff but she doesn't like hanging around the other Addisons. Not because she dislikes their whole dynamic, but because she's just so focused on making sure everything about her craft is right. Purple - Purple, with the name Adonis, is the second of the new Addisons and uses They/Them pronouns. Further, they're also the second tallest Addison with the third one that I will mention shortly, being the tallest. Adonis very much advertises for various gardening supplies as well as a main flower shop. But they also partially advertise for different horror movies. It's certainly very interesting finding them sometimes. They're completely cool with the main Addisons and their found family dynamic but wanted to make a new group. Adonis and Adrian are actually pretty good friends. Lime - Lime, with the name of Adio, is the third and one of the last new Addisons I've made and uses He/Him pronouns. Of all the Addisons, he is by far the tallest, even taller than the ones that already existed. Adio's advertisements are for an organization that involves research into helping Monsters that have "Fallen Down" and Humans that difficult to treat/presently incurable illnesses residing in their SOULs. He became a close member of the main Addison dynamic while also being good friends with Adonis and a friendly rival with Adrian. He's generally very nice and patient because he understands how hard things can be sometimes. Though...everyone wishes his ads didn't get discontinued. Even if it was for a "rework", they miss him every day. Okay! So those are the three Addisons that I created and wanted to share. But I felt bad that I didn't do it last post. So there's that and I'm glad I've done it. Now onto the next stuff! What is Spamton and Kris' deal in this AU? Well. To put it simply, they become good friends as the story progresses in this AU. To be more detailed about it(and I'm not sure if I've already mentioned this so please forgive me).... Kris encounters Spamton NEO but, before any fight can occur, Spamton's dialogue changes. He says completely new things. KRIS. I NOTICED THAT YOU SEEMED TO [Shake] AND [Tremble] WHILE WAITING FOR ME TO [Transfer] INTO MY [Workout-Ready Body]! Kris says nothing. Spamton NEO then turns and raises both his arms up grabbing and pull on one of his strings. THESE STRINGS. WHY? WHY DO I HAVE THESE [Strings Attached] TO ME? SHOULDN'T I FINALLY HAVE IT, KRIS? MY [Freedom]? WHY AM I STILL JUST A [Puppet] ON THESE [!?$!]ING STRINGS?! WHY IS IT SO DARK? SO....SO DARK....? There's a pause in Spamton NEO's words as his head moves up and down and his arms spin rapidly. Kris begins to tremble more but they seem to be trying to repress their emotions. Eventually, Spamton NEO speaks again. KRIS. THERE IS SOMETHING I NEED TO KNOW. BUT I CAN'T FORCE YOU TO ANSWER. I CAN'T. I WON'T TRY TO FORCE YOU. BUT. He turns around, now facing Kris. He notices their trembling and his head tilts. YOU'RE [Shaking in your boots] KRIS. THEN THAT MAKES MY QUESTION MORE [Important]. His body sways closer to Kris. Kris doesn't move. KRIS. He moves closer. Kris doesn't move, but their trembling worsens. THAT [[SOUL]] YOU HAVE. CALL IT A [Hunch] BUT. HAVE YOU [Lost control of your life]] BECAUSE OF IT? Kris' mouth noticeably moves and they collapse onto the tracks. Then, suddenly, a black box appears with two different choices and The SOUL in the center. And, although faint, Spamton

NEO can see this. He sees The SOUL flickering between these two options. And he also sees Kris' trembling becoming worse. And so he does the first thing that comes to mind. He destroys the box with a single [BIG SHOT]. And as though it were on autopilot....he speaks something that feels natural to him. I WAS TALKING TO KRIS. I DON'T THINK I ASKED [[YOU]] FOR INPUT. BUT. THIS GIVES ME ALL THE ANSWERS I COULD EVER NEED. YOU'RE A [HEART] ON A [CHAIN]. A [PUPPET]. JUST....like....[Me]. Fun fact! Most of this dialogue is based off a dream I had where I was watching from an outsider's perspective. Not from Spamton's POV, not from Kris' not even from The SOUL's. I could see every angle, like I was a camera circling the scene itself. It was incredible. Even the way his voice seemed to echo in the long hall of tracks. Every rustle of clothing from Kris' side of things, to Spamton's occasional creak and groan, to the whooshing his arms made whenever they made a full circle. Even the sounds the wires made sounded so....real. It felt like I was really there. Funny how that works out. There's a lot more to this that I wanna share but I don't want to write a post that takes two days to complete so I'll leave this here.

[cuuno-moved]

Friends Forever

Or: How Sapnap met and lost his family.

@the-gay-is-back

The first time Sapnap saw Dream, he was 5. 

He was sitting under one of the tables at his dad’s cafe with a coloring book, coloring in a little panda, humming to himself, when there was a kid crouching in front of him.

They froze, staring at each other, sizing each other up for a bit.

The kid had long blond hair, and freckles scattered across their face and arms. They wore a massive green t-shirt and a pair of cargo shorts, and a pair of flip flops. They looked a couple years older than Sapnap, but probably weighed half as much as he did.

They tilted their head, narrowing their eyes, but then Sapnap’s dad called for him, and they bolted, leaving him blinking in confusion.

They came back nearly every day after that, just to sit there and watch Sapnap draw. At one point, Sapnap asked his dad where he thought the kid lived, and he looked sad as he explained he probably didn’t have a home, he probably lived on the streets.

Sapnap frowned at that. He couldn’t imagine not having a home, not having a family.

The next time the kid came by and sat in the corner, Sapnap stood up and walked over to him, watching him tense up and eye the door.

“Hi,” He said, simply. “What’s your name?”

“...Dream.”

He smiled happily, introduced himself, and sat down across from him, peacefully going back to drawing.

A couple weeks later, Dream stopped showing up.

Sapnap was terrified that he’d gotten hurt, or worse, but after a week and a half of the corner being empty, suddenly, he was back.

He looked different from the second he burst through the door. His face was clean, and Sapnap could admire the freckles scattered across his cheekbones easier. His hair was still long, but now it was even, and brushed. When Sapnap hugged him, he smelled like rose shampoo.

“I got a dad,” He beamed. “I got a dad, and a brother! I have a family!”

He met his family the next day when he dragged them through the door with a smile and happily introduced them to Sapnap.

His dad was a short man with curly hair, half white half brown. She smiled sweetly at Sapnap, and gave him a warm hug that smelled like the ocean breeze. Dream’s new brother was made of gold, and tall, almost as tall as Sapnap’s dad, who had come out from the back to say hello.

When Sapnap was 7 and Dream was 9, Dream explained nonbinary to Sapnap, and said they used all pronouns, not just he.

Sapnap shrugged, said that was cool or whatever.

A week later, he nervously asked Dream if he could be a boy, if he felt like it.

Dream nodded, and Sapnap grinned, and that night, he told his dad, who hugged him and said he was proud of him.

For a while, it was just the two of them, until Dream met George.

George was smart, and funny, and snarky. He and Sapnap got along wonderfully.

One day, as they sat together, in the playground, watching their dads talk, George pointed out he was the oldest.

“That makes me the leader, doesn’t it?”

“No,” Sapnap scoffed. “I’m the biggest. I’m the leader.”

“No,” George bit back, crossing his skinny arms over his chest. “I’m the oldest, the smartest.”

“You’re not smart.”

“Oh come on, guys,” Dream chuckled, shaking her head. “Why do we need a leader?”

The other two looked at each other for a moment, before nodding. And just like that, Dream was the leader.

George had a little brother, a shapeshifter called Alex. Sapnap didn’t meet him for the first month or so of knowing George, he was always out with their dad when Sapnap came over.

Then, one day, when Sapnap was 9, Dream was 11 and George was 12, they sat on George’s bed, watching a bad horror movie on Dream’s laptop- or rather, George and Dream watched the movie as Sapnap hid his face in George’s shoulder.

There was a knock on the door, and George sighed. “Come in.”

Alex poked his head in. He was Sapnap’s age, with fluffy black hair with little golden feathers sticking out every here and there. His shiny dark eyes flickered over all of them, before he grinned brightly, revealing a missing tooth. “Dad says I have to hang out with you guys.”

George whined, and groaned, but Sapnap was more than happy to hang out with the smaller boy, he was funny and he fit in Sapnap’s lap perfectly.

He started hanging out with them more after that, trailing behind them on their trips to the gas station to grab sodas and laughing when Dream failed on skateboarding tricks.

At one point, Alex started calling himself Quackity, and Sapnap made a joke about it, but he just flipped him off and grinned. “You’re just jealous cause it’s such a cooler name than Sapnap.”

The four were impossible to pry apart.

And then, only three years later, the fifth arrived. 

He was small, with fluffy brown hair, and pale skin. His eyes were green (years later, Sapnap would discover they actually weren’t, they were mostly blue, but there were chunks of green and brown, although early in the morning, when he was only half awake, they were a brilliant sapphire color with streaks of orange) and his hands were anxious, twisting in his plain white hoodie.

“Hi,” Dream said, simply, hopping off her swing easily, sending woodchips flying. “I’m Dream.”

The boy nodded back, but didn’t speak as they introduced themselves. After a moment, he pointed at the empty swing next to George. 

He started following them around, always a few feet behind, always watching silently. He never spoke, and they never made him.

Until one day, when George paused, sending him a weird look and asked, calmly. “How do you spell your name, again? Is it a K or a C?”

He blinked.

“Okay, cool,” The older boy nodded, satisfied. “I don’t know many Karls with a K.”

Later, they asked George how he knew what his name was, and he just shrugged. Karl didn’t care about them finding out his name, apparently, it was never a secret, he just didn’t talk.

“Can you speak?” Quackity asked one night, after dinner, when they all sat in a circle in Sapnap’s livingroom.

Karl nodded.

“You just don’t want to?”

He nodded again.

“Why?” George asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

He shrugged.

“Is it cause you don’t like us?” Sapnap asked.

At that, his eyes went wide and he desperately shook his head.

“You just don’t like to talk,” Dream said. “Like… I don’t like coffee, you don’t like to talk.”

Karl nodded again, relieved.

“Makes sense,” Quackity nodded sagely. “I don’t like George.”

The first time Karl spoke, Dream’s dad was ordering lunch.

“What kind of sub do you guys want?” She asked, opening the app on her phone and patiently waiting for their orders.

Karl was last, per usual, but instead of reaching for his dry erase board, he just… opened his mouth.

“Can I have a meatball sub, please?”

She froze, staring at him. “Uh… sure, kid. You want cheese on that?”

He shook his head, and went back to the game he was playing on Sapnap’s old gameboy.

Karl was odd, they realized. 

He didn’t like talking, unless he was completely comfortable and felt safe. He hummed creepy old songs that sounded like they were from a horror movie, and he liked to drink monster energies, even though, at 15 years old, he really should not have an addiction.

He also liked to steal people’s clothes, cut them up, and sew them together into a Frankenstein hoodie.

Sapnap would happily “forget” to take his hoodies back from Karl, and happily watch him jog up to them the next day with a new patch on his shoulder the same color as the missing jacket.

They all slept over at George’s house on the weekends. His dad would carry an old mattress down from the attic, and all five of them would cram together, with Karl’s around Sapnap’s waist and George’s face in Dream’s spine and Quackity’s feet in all of their faces. It was warm, and it was safe.

One night, Sapnap asked them if they were going to stick together forever.

“Yeah, of course,” Dream whispered. “We’re not going anywhere.”

“Friends forever.” Quackity laughed.

“Yeah,” George hummed, already half asleep. “Forever…”

Karl just giggled, nudging Sapnap’s head with his own.

…

He shouldn’t have believed them.

Eight years shouldn’t have been enough time to ruin everything.

He was barely 19, still a kid in all honesty.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes, stirring the rice. It was getting cold, he realised faintly. He should eat now, but…

They’d said they were coming over. They said they were going to be here.

Dream couldn’t make it, of course. They were still in prison. He didn’t expect them to show up. He didn’t want them to show up. He still remembered Tommy’s funeral.

George was probably asleep. That was alright, he needed it, he’d been staying up too late again recently, just watching the stars.

But the other two…

Quackity had left earlier that morning, pulling on his eyepatch and hat, tying his tie and nodding goodbye to Sapnap at the door. Around noon, he’d stumbled back, covered in blood, his eyes full of anger and mirth. Sapnap had tried to talk to him, but he’d just shoved past him, grabbed a pickaxe and vanished out the door again.

Karl had been gone for a couple days now. The last Sapnap had seen of him, he’d been sitting on the dining room floor, sobbing as he ripped the faded lime green fabric from his hoodie. Sapnap had left him, let him be alone, and then he was gone.

Sapnap wasn’t hungry.

He stood, grabbing a tub from the cabinet and started to dump the fried rice in.

The front door opened.

He hesitated. “Babe?”

There was silence, then tentative footsteps.

Karl stood there, his hair almost grey, eyes almost lifeless. His hoodie damp, and Sapnap frowned at the lack of shoes on his feet.

“Are you okay? What happened? Are you cold?”

Karl didn’t speak, just staring at him, and he sighed, turning away.

“You missed dinner. I can heat this back up for you, but it’s not going to be as good-”

A pair of arms wrapped around his chest and he jumped, until he felt a familiar face press between his shoulder blades.

“Karl?”

Nothing.

He turned, wrapping his arms around his husband and sighing. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

He wasn’t sure what he was saying, or why it made Karl start to shake, but it felt right, and he repeated it. “It’s ok. You’re ok. We’re going to be alright.”

Quackity came home that night from tearing down his old home to find his husbands curled up in bed without him, and he sighed. 

They probably hadn’t even noticed he left.

He turned to leave, to go to the couch, but a pale hand caught onto his and he froze, staring down at Karl.

“Hey.”

No response, just wide eyes.

“... want me to join ya?”

A nod.

They weren’t friends forever. Dream had made sure of that when he betrayed Sapnap at the Battle of the Lake, when he ripped George’s crown from his head, when he called Quackity a terrorist, when he killed a kid. They weren’t the same as they’d been back and they never would be.

But as Sapnap cuddled his boys to his chest, burying his face in Quackity’s hair, he thought that this wasn’t so bad.

[votederpycausemufins]

me: you first started writing this story 12 days ago, take a break also me: CHAPTER 16 BAYBEEEEE

@petrichormeraki

Grian realized waiting was easy. No one was running around or trying to hurt him. People were trying to give him seeds and played music! And the voices liked how nice people were being too. But at the same time, the Watcher couldn’t help but worry. Why wasn’t Tommy back? Maybe he should go through himself. But it was a small portal. An enderman could barely fit, and to a watcher, those mobs were rather short.

What if you just got smaller? But he looks so dope like this! maybe he’s like a… i forget the animal but if he can get his head through he can get the rest through. Why’s he trying to go through anyway?; he’s basically a giant monster who’ll be attacked if he goes through. But he’s powerful. He’ll be fine!

Grian had move voices talking, and one seemed very convincing about going through the portal. Yes, it was a perfect idea. He just needed to squish himself through the frame. A number of Hermits tried to stop him as he started to move. He shook a wing as a lead caught on it. Another tried to catch him, but he moved out of the way and it managed to tie Mumbo up. Oh! He could bring Mumbo as well. Two heads would be better than one. He gave a chirpy laugh as Mumbo seemed to scream as he went through the portal. Grian followed behind, though he struggled squeezing everything through. There was a flash of white light, and then nothing.

Dream could feel the Watcher enter the world. He made sure that Tommy had no easy escape from his current prison before the former admin left the room. He walked in the direction of the portal. Everyone was here and his new piece of leverage had arrived. All that needed to happen now was destroying the portal and having the powers of admin returned to him.

Mumbo’s face hit grass as he ended up on the other side of the portal, tied up in the rope of a lead. He started to look up and had to squint at the bright sky. Had he blacked out and the storm had passed? But looking around, the only familiar thing in his vision was the infinity portal and Mumbo realized he had gone through it.

There was a squawk as Grian came through the portal. Mumbo tried to get up and reach his friend, but the fact that he was tied up had slipped his mind and he ended up just essentially wriggling around. Grian leaned down to look at him and Mumbo met the Watcher’s eyes with a gasp. Mumbo remembered when Grian was using his watcher powers, he could see how the eyes almost never looked at the same place, always focused on watching everything. The two main eyes may have just looked purple, but Mumbo could always see the symbol of the Watchers that seemed to have imprinted itself within the pupils.

But right now, all the eyes looked down at Mumbo. They all looked glossy and somewhat unfocused. Instead of their purple color they had a reddish-magenta hue and the symbol of the Watchers was absent. “G-Grian? Are you okay?”

I mean, obviously he’s not. Yessss, stare into his eyes! If Grian’s a bird, does that make Mumbo some kind of-

Mumbo immediately started to try and get out of the robes that tied him up. No. No this couldn’t be happening. He had told them no. They said they wouldn’t try again. Grian had made it very clear that Mumbo was under his claim as a Watcher. He shouldn’t be hearing voices.

After a bit more struggling, Mumbo was free. He was able to stand up and brush himself off, then start to put Grian towards the portal. “Alright Grian, back in the portal.” Grian just moved out of the way and chirped at Mumbo. “Don’t be such a spoon of a bird! In the portal!” He tried again with no luck. He was about to try again when he noticed someone approaching. Mumbo had no clue who they could be or what they might do. He had heard some of the horror stories Tommy had told, so Mumbo decided his best option was to hide.

Using Grian as a wall between him and whoever was arriving, the redstoner stayed quiet, trying to listen. He could hear them approaching, walking on the grass, and then they stopped. Mumbo nearly peeked out from behind Grian, but then they spoke. “No clue why the Watchers put up with you. You’re clearly out of your element Grian. But that being said, you’re useful. And now you’re in a world with people more like you than any of those Hermits. No reason to leave.”

Mumbo’s heart dropped as he heard what sounded like a beacon powering down and then the magic of a portal shattering. As if living in an unknown world wasn’t bad enough, now there was no escape. 

And we’re stuck here. Mumbo’s a genius, he can fix it. He’s only a genius at redstone, it’s hopeless. Maybe he-

Mumbo forced himself to stop listening. Grian had started to move and he needed to follow to stay hidden. Until they reached the nearby forest, there was no other place to hide. Mumbo slowly kept in step with Grian, creeping his way until they finally reached a tree. He used that as cover instead and to finally see what was going on.

The redstoner recognised the man donned in lime green that stood next to Grian. He was the one to show up in Hermitcraft and come after Tommy. One that many of the horror stories had been about. And for whatever reason, Grian was following behind him. Mumbo wanted to shout, to reason with Grian, but his fear for his own life kept him hidden and quiet. 

Mumbo watched as the two left, and then he felt safe enough to move. Grian had made Tubbo the admin, right? And he had made… someone else one too. But he couldn't remember their name, and Tubbo’s communicator still likely wasn’t working. Nonetheless, he tried, only to get an expected error message. Who else could he contact?

Tommy! Ranboo. Fundy might work? Tommy might be with Philza so either of them. Wilbur or Techno? Quackity! Sam. Why would you ever try Quackity? Because you can, lol. 

Mumbo didn’t know all the names, but Tommy and Philza seemed the most reasonable. Mumbo sent each of them a private message, summing up what was going on and trying to give a warning. There was no error message, but also no reply, so the redstoner could only hope they saw the messages. And then he started moving, hoping to find something to help him, like a place to stay or materials.

Dream toyed with Grian’s addled mind. If only he knew how easy it was to capacitate the dream slayer. He could hardly believe that this was what he had been terrified of for so long. He could enjoy this for a while, but right now, he needed to do what he planned to from the start. He had summoned Tubbo and Ranboo, knowing they would have their guards down. As far as they were concerned, Dream couldn’t do anything and they could do anything as admin. Oh how wrong them were.

Dream walked to another room and sat at the table, leaning back in his chair as he waited. It only took a few minutes before Ranboo and Tubbo appeared in the room. Tubbo seemed a bit disoriented from the teleport, but Ranboo as an enderman took it well. “Tubbo, Ranboo, how good to see you.”

“You should be in the vault Dream.”

“You two have something that doesn’t belong to you.”

“Grian made me the admin.” Tubbo spoke up, sounding confident. Dream smiled at it, he had no ideal anything he tried would be futile. Anything either of them did.

“Well, he doesn’t have to keep it that way.” Dream stood up, walking to the doors. Tubbo and Ranboo looked ready to attack, but then he opened the door.

“Grian?” Tubbo sounded hurt and worried for the Watcher. The essentially mindless beast gave a trilling coo which left the admin pair unsettled.

“Now, you have something that belongs to me.” Dream spoke. He filtered his own thoughts into the mind of the Watcher and then he could see the watcher magic flow around Tubbo and Ranboo. Dream felt energized as the admin powers were given back to him and he saw the pair grow exhausted from the energy being drawn from them. Now everything was just how it should be.

Mumbo kept chopping at trees with his netherite axe, gathering resources. He Put down an ender chest and was glad to see all the usual contents were there. He used some of the diamonds he had to craft a chestplate, thinking that would be a bit more useful. One shulker box was cleaned out of items Mumbo wasn’t completely sure he would need and instead house more essentials.

As he cut down another tree, there was a wave of energy leaving Mumbo looking around. There was nothing obvious that it could have been. It still left him on edge, and he put his supplies away, switching to his sword.

Creeping through the forest, Mumbo was prepared to attack. Even if he wasn’t the best fighter, or really a fighter at all, at least he might have an element of surprise. Above him, the sun was starting to set, helping him even more as his black suit and hair blended into the shadows. Mumbo was starting to wish he had gone to False’s sparring sessions more, but there always seemed to be one redstone project or another he thought was more important.

Light caught Mumbo’s eye and ahead he saw a fire. For a moment he thought it would be a lava lake, but there were blocks all over the place, some of sorts that couldn’t generate naturally. That could be someone’s home. Or possibly even former home. If it were the first, then Mumbo hoped it would be someone to ally with, if it were the latter, the land being abandoned could do well as a shelter.

Mumbo continued forward until finally he reached a place that seemed to be a crater. There had been some sort of explosion, destroying the place. While it made Mumbo sad to see what was likely a very nice build destroyed, it also gave him hope that it would be safe now. That was until he heard someone speaking.

“Stupid stupid stupid. Now I’m stuck here and have to rebuild and-”

Mumbo knew that voice. “Tommy!” He ran towards the blond.

“What the fuck?” He heard Tommy say before he slid down into the crater and stood next to the boy.

“Tommy, that Dream guy, he got Grian and-” Mumbo started to explain before freezing.

“Grian?” Tommy asked, staring at Mumbo with magenta eyes.

“T-Tommy?” Mumbo drew his sword. Was this some copy? A trap? What?

“Yeah, what the fuck do you want?”

“I… What’s going on? Who are you really?”

“Oi, I’m gonna ask the fucking questions.” Tommy crossed his arms. “Who are you and what are you doing in Logstedshire?”

[vinatintasupernovita]

2 for the warm weather/summer prompts 👀

2. “I’ll explain later, but for now, can I throw this frozen margarita in your face and call you a jerk?” with some Michael/Beelzebub

———

There was exactly two times every century or so that Heaven and Hell’s forces looked forward to. One was the long-awaited ‘Casual Friday’- that was more Heaven’s deal, as Hell had long since abandoned their dress codes- and the other was the weekend-long co-office summer beach party.

The beach party was, on the record, a strategic meeting. Heaven and Hell would get together on a secluded beach on Earth and.. ‘scope out’ the opposing side- try and find weak points. This was a crack of shit clearly as most of everyone used this weekend to let their hair down for a couple days and get out any pent up energy they had from the thousands of years of sitting in shitty cubicles that were only different in color scheme. And after a long time considering, they both decided giving up on that after the failed apocalypse would just be another kick to the nuts.

Beelzebub sat at the cabana bar- the warring forces had co-rented a hotel and their private beach this time around and everyone agreed it was a much better experience now that endless drinks were included.

They sipped on a frozen lime martini as they played with the string of their cover-up. A few of the other lords and dukes were mingling on the beach with a couple angels- none that Beelzebub really knew the names of. They preferred to sit and drink in silence since it was going to be some of the only quiet they were going to get for awhile.

“Beelzebub!” And there the silence was broken. They turned on the swivel stool and looked to see Gabriel approaching in his usual purple hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts. They rolled their eyes but motioned him over all the same.

“Featherbrain, you’re looking beachy.” They said as he took the seat next to them. He shook his head when the bartender questioned if he’d like a drink, and Beelzebub continued drinking. “Still won’t taste humanity’s finest creation?”

“You know how I feel about gross matter.”

“Yes, won’t eat food or drink alcohol unless it’s with humanity’s least favorite dietician at some overpriced gastronomy joint.”

Beelzebub was one of three people that knew about Gabriel’s currently covert relationship with Famine. The other two people were Frannie- Gabriel and Famine’s girlfriend- and Aziraphale, who Gabriel had originally turned to for romantic advice as he was the only other angel Gabriel had knowledge of dating non-angels. Demons and Monsters of the human subconscious were only a couple steps away from one another on the supernatural hierarchy anyway.

Beelzebub got to know about that little circle as they were, for lack of better terms, Gabriel’s closest friend. They had a mutual distaste and disrespect-turned-respect for another for the last couple thousand years that evolved into a genuine friendship. Gabriel would spill about his new escapades in love and Beelzebub would offer advice as if they had ever had a romantic encounter in their entire existence.

That would change however as Gabriel caught them staring at Michael off in the distance. Michael was, admittedly, the hottest angel in Beelzebub’s opinion. They’d never say it out loud, but it was apparent from the way they were missing their straw as they tried to continue drinking. Gabriel only chuckled.

“Distracted, Beelzebub?” He asked, only to snap their attention back to him and get a glare in return.

“Im never distracted. Especially not by angels.” They argued.

“I never said anything about it being an angel specifically. Could’ve been Asmodeus.” He said.

“Ugh, don’t make me gag.” They said as they pulled the drink closer. “What, are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t need to tell Michael anything- he’s probably watching us right now.” Gabriel said as he leaned on the bar. “He likes to think he’s discreet but really most of Heaven knows how he likes to play spy.”

“He can’t hear us from that far-“

“No, but he can watch.” He said. “He’s good at that.

Sure enough, Michael was watching- watching with a kind of jealous glint in his eyes. He looked up from the sun-tan mirror in his hands for a moment as he tried to read Gabriel and Beelzebub’s motions. They were friends, that was clear, but Gabriel had been acting much brighter in the last few weeks and Michael had a sneaking suspicion that he knew why- he had to have some new lover.

But Gabriel wasn’t dating an angel. If it had been an angel everyone in Heaven would’ve known about it by now. But nothing- no info from anyone. And from the looks of it, it was a demon. At least, that was the working theory Michael had.

Now as previously stated, that was not the case at all as that would’ve been cheating on Gabriel’s actual partners and gross to Beelzebub, who would sooner eat glass, but Michael didn’t know that. And, for the record, he had been meaning to ask Beelzebub to a drink for the last three beach weekends, he just never got around to it. Uriel said it was because he was too chicken, but Michael would prefer to keep his pride in tact in case of a rejection.) But now, timing was critical. For both him and Beelzebub.

They had to figure out a way to get Michael to come over and assess exactly why he was staring- maybe put the moves on him, as the kids say. But they needed a reason, any rea-

They looked at their half-consumed margarita and got a brilliant idea.

“Gabriel, I’ll explain later, but for now, can I throw this frozen margarita in your face and call you a jerk?” They asked, only for Gabriel to blink at them.

“Um, sure?”

Splash!

“You holy fucking jerk!” Without a second given for Gabriel to question their thought process, Gabriel was drenched in lime margarita and all eyes seemed to be on them. Most of everyone just turned and looked and wondered or snickered, expecting some kind of further blow up in the coming minutes.

Thankfully, Michael took the bait. As he walked up, Beelzebub gave Gabriel a look that just about screamed ‘play along.’

“Is there a problem, Lord Beelzebub?” Michael asked as he looked between his now-drippy brother and the Prince of Hell. Beelzebub turned to Michael and cleared their throat.

“Just Gabriel being his usual dumbass self. I’d say he should think before he speaks but clearly he can’t ever think.”

“I resent that-“ Gabriel started, only for Michael to raise his hand slowly to quiet him.

“Now, now, we don’t need any of that. Not now, at least. We have a truce.” He said. “Gabriel, why don’t you clean up while I try to smooth things over here?” That’s when Gabriel saw Beelzebub nod, and finally it clicked.

“Oh, fine.” He said, getting up from the cabana. “We’re not done here, Beelzebub!” He was such a bad actor, but thankfully he was walking away.

“So sorry about him.” Michael said as he took Gabriel’s spot. “Let me get you another drink, on me.” He waved over the bartender. “What was it?”

“Lime margarita with a salted rim.” Beelzebub said.

“One of those and a cherry daiquiri for me.” Michael ordered, and the bartender nodded before heading to make the drinks. “Now, why don’t you tell me all about what happened?”

“You were watching us, i’m sure you could guess.” Their words had an air of mischief in them that Michael caught right away. He nodded.

“I watch everyone. But I have to say I’m surprised, I thought you and Gabriel were close.”

“He’s not the worst angel i’ve ever met.”

“But you’re not denying that you’re close?”

“He’s my friend, nothing more. Sometimes he’s much less.”

“And I’m assuming right now he’s the ladder?” Michael said as he took a sip of his drink. “You still haven’t explained what happened.”

“He was being nosey, that’s all. But damn does it weigh on you after the hundredth question.” Beelzebub lied, watching for another look of interest in Michael’s eye. “Asking too many personal questions.”

“Like?”

“You too?” They said sarcastically. “Well, if you must know, he was asking if I fancied anyone. Wanted to plan a double date with me and my person of choice and his new partners. So annoying.”

There was the info Michael was looking for- he’d have to ask Gabriel about it later but partners plural stuck to his head. That, and the fact it wasn’t Beelzebub. That was step one. Now they were both onto step two.

“And who would be your person of choice- if you have one?” Michael asked. “Any demonic entity catch your eye?”

“Id sooner discorporate myself than date anyone in the same office.” Beelzebub said. “Too close for comfort, don’t know how some of them make it work.”

“I see. I suppose I could say the same. Angels are close-knit but sometimes it could be a bit much.”

“I didn’t know you were the type to date outside the heavenly realms.”

“Well, things change with time, don’t they? I mean we should’ve destroyed one another by now but we’re drinking together instead.”Beelzebub nodded, leaning on their elbow.

“Suppose you’re right.” They said. “If you’re free, we could also get dinner together. Up to you.”

That’s when it hit Michael exactly what they were implying. He chuckled. The sly bastard.

“I think that sounds delightful.”

[thatringboy]

The Way A Soul Lives - TWST

To write some Diasomnia angst has been a goal of mine for a while and seeing the new official book and the Diasomnia boys made me want to finish

I’ve only ever written angst a few times, so this was a nice practice. I hope I didn’t go too OOC here, but I think I’m good. I tried a new writing style here that I’m not that confident in, so feedback is very much appreciated!

Warnings: Magic, self inserted theories about Faes, fight scenes, blood, death and the angst associated with that

Word count: 1,615 (a new record I think!)

Sebek enjoyed the night shift. There was always something invigorating about walking around the Draconia castle when only dim torches and moonlight lit his path. A hand on his sword hilt, he quietly marched up and down halls, sometimes stopping in the Royal Library to glance at a book, and always passed by the rooms of the royal family.

However, his blood turned to ice when the Fae noticed a haphazardly opened window and mud tracked on the floor near it. He turned on his heels and ran back towards the room of his fellow guard, taking into account that the muddy footprints were not those of a humanoid.

~~~

Yuu sat down on the blanket and a frown tugged at their lips. “So why did you drag me all the way out here? It’s freezing!”

Cater laughed and pulled his coat on tighter. “Because there’s a Meteor shower tonight and there’s gonna be some fireworks to celebrate the end of Spring Break! Don’t worry, the others will be here soon and we can take some pics for Magicam.”

Principal Crowley had allowed Yuu Prefect to leave Night Raven College for the week of Spring Break and the magic-less human somehow got dragged to the mountains of Pyroxene where the snow had not yet melted. Yuu spent the week posing for cameras with Cater and Vil and learned how to snowboard thanks to Jack’s tutelage. Grim enjoyed the attention he was receiving during the trip and showed his gratitude by becoming a makeshift hot water bottle inside of Yuu’s thick coat.

Two figures approached the clearing. The shorter one talked with their hands in an annoyed voice. “All I’m saying is that you and the potato could really become a modeling duo! You two have the natural talent and certainly the looks.”

The taller figure grunted and sat down next to Yuu. “Not in a million years will you find me modeling sports clothing. Oh, hey Prefect.”

“Hey Jack.” Yuu sighed and looked up at the stars that were starting to appear. The constellations in Twisted Wonderland were different from those on Earth and they seemed to draw large coherent pictures across the sky. Vil sat down on his own blanket and opened his mouth to argue with Jack some more, but Cater closed his mouth.

“The show’s about to start!”

~~~

Sebek knocked on Silver’s door as quietly as he could. He could hear his fellow guard get out of bed and step to the door. Silver opened the door partially and opened his mouth to protest the rude awakening, but Sebek covered it before the human could make a sound.

“There’s an intruder.” Sebek whispered. “I can take the South stairwell to the young lord’s room if you take the West and go get Master Lilia.”

Silver nodded and grabbed his pen. The two men silently went in their directions, Silver to the west and Sebek to the south, and stepped into hidden passages. Sebek broke into a full sprint and exited the passage to see that Malleus’ door was open. A feeling of dread set into his stomach as he tip-toed near the door. What he saw sent a shiver of terror down his spine.

Standing over the sleeping figure of Malleus was a creature made of flickering and ever-changing shadows. From within itself, it produced an awful looking hand with claws the size of kitchen knives. Sebek moved without thinking and drew his sword as he ran to the side of the bed. He swung his sword in a graceful arc and removed the clawed appendage from the monster. It reeled back and shrieked horrifically, making Sebek cover his ears and making Malleus bolt awake.

The dragon Fae assessed the situation and dove out of bed for his staff, but the monster put itself between the two. The amputated limb shook violently in the air before it seemed to regrow itself. Sebek lunged with his sword and put himself in front of Malleus. “Go! Silver and Master Lilia are on their way! Get to the panic room!”

Malleus nodded and ran from the room. Sebek returned his focus on the monster. He had trained for this very scenario for a good portion of his life and he certainly wasn’t going to back down now.

~~~

The night grew colder, but the fireworks were worth it. Yuu clutched onto Grim’s warmth while Cater and Vil shared a blanket and watched the colorful lights explode in the air. Jack, having a naturally high body temperature, didn’t understand the discomfort of his companions, but thankfully didn’t tease them about it. He was sure that if he brought it up, his tail might receive a wicked pinch.

Cater had his phone up taking as many pictures as he could of the show while Vil had only taken a single selfie. Yuu sat in awe of the entire situation and was suddenly very grateful that the Principle had permitted this vacation.

Ew, was Yuu Prefect grateful for the actions of Crowley? The thought disgusted them and made them shiver more than the cold. Grim looked up at them “How cold are you, you weak human!”

Yuu frowned and hugged Grim tighter. “Very.”

Jack leaned forward from where he was sitting. “Here comes the finale! You’re in for a treat, you two.”

Grim and Yuu looked up to see a firework explode above them. A shower of gold sparks rained down as a second firework went off, sending red and blue streams everywhere.

“Truly beautiful.” Vil whispered. He got his phone out and snapped another picture. Yuu assumed that he would be sending it to Rook. Cater laughed and pointed to another firework that was about to explode. It went off and a brilliant lime green glow filled the night sky. Yuu agreed with Vil - the sight was the most beautiful thing they had ever seen.

When the lights faded, Yuu noticed that the stars were all out, blanketing the sky with billions of small lights. Jack laid down on his back and looked up at the sky. “What do you know, the Draconia Constellation can be seen this early in the year. That’s usually a Summer Constellation.”

Yuu looked up and sure enough, a large portion of the stars formed a dragon in the air. “Draconia, like Malleus’ family?”

Cater sat back as well, taking the shared blanket with him to the distress of Vil. “That’s the one. The longest Fae line in the world.”

Grim looked up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Vil raised his eyebrows. “I keep forgetting that you are not of this world. Let me explain this for you.”

~~~

Sebek could counter the physical attacks of the monster, but he hadn’t expected it to start hurling fireballs at him. He hissed and kicked himself a little bit whenever a fireball set something of Malleus’ ablaze, but he forced himself to keep his head in the fight.

Where is that lazy Silver? He should be here by now!

The monster jumped up and landed on the bed. Sebek pulled out his pen and fired a bolt of magic, but the mass of shadows absorbed the spell and made that horrible screech again. He grimaced and swung again, ducking under another fireball and was surprised that his sword made contact with something solid, but bounced off.

This creature, it’s changing to match my attacks! Come on, Sebek, think!

He grit his teeth and rolled across the bed, diving behind it to use as cover. If he kept the monster focused on him, it wouldn’t make a break for the door.

The door...

Sebek peaked his head up and noticed that the monster was loading another fireball. He ducked to avoid being hit and made a mad dash for the exit, throwing a rather large textbook that probably held ancient spells passed down from the Fairy Queen herself. Sebek hated to see such literature shredded before his eyes, but he decided that in the moment this would be acceptable behavior.

The monster recovered faster than he had anticipated. It’s claw lashed out as Sebek almost crossed the threshold and knocked him aside. His head hit the side of Malleus’ wardrobe and he felt a stinging pain in his right eye, but other than that was uninjured and got back on his feet. It slashed out again, but Sebek narrowly avoided the sharp talons. His energy was drained and even if he could raise his pen, he would possibly overblot from casting a single spell. He could run for the door again and risk impalement or stay in the corner and be burnt alive. Sebek’s mind, despite the chaos around him and his time running out, started to think of his friends at Night Raven College.

What would they do in his situation? Deuce and Jack would rush in head first, Ace would attempt to create a distraction, Grim would just made more fire and Yuu Prefect probably wouldn’t have even gotten themselves into this mess. Not to mention Epel would probably do any of those things based off of his slightly unpredictable personality. There was little doubt that Epel would also charge the monster, but there was no way of knowing for sure.

Sebek tuned back into reality as a fireball narrowly missed his face. The stinging in his eye and blood trickling down from his scalp made it hard to focus, but his adrenaline was still pumping. He was still standing. He was still fighting.

“Sebek!”

Someone called from the door. The guard - and the monster - turned to see a horrified Silver standing there, his pen clutched tightly. Sebek’s heart froze. He wanted to tell Silver to run, but Sebek’s voice became caught in his chest. The creature of shadows began to prepare another fireball, but Sebek’s body reacted quicker. He dropped his sword and tackled the monster. The two clashed until Sebek managed to force it out of Malleus’ window, but the monster held tight and Sebek felt gravity pull him down to the courtyard below.

~~~

“While most stars outside of constellations are celestial spheres of noble gases and other elements, the stars in constellations are actually souls.” Vil sat back on his hands and looked up at the dragon shaped image in the sky.

Cater sat back up, letting Vil snatch back the blanket. “Oh yeah! My mom explained this to me! Every time a fairy dies, they join their family constellation in the stars!”

“Unlike mortal souls that go to the Isles of Lamentation when we pass,” Vil continued. “The Fae’s immortal spirits are placed in the heavens to dance for all of eternity, or so the legend goes. Some stories say that the Fae came to Twisted Wonderland from the stars and so to the stars they return, but I for one just believe that this is a beautiful story.”

Yuu thought for a second. “So then what about shooting stars?”

Jack put his hands behind his head and got comfortable on the ground. “Nope, those are just regular comets or asteroids or whatever you call them.”

“Fascinating.” Yuu whispered. “Where I come from, stars are just flaming balls of gas in space. I shouldn’t be surprised that magic goes as far as constellations, but I am.”

Grim cleared his throat. “Wait, what about wishing stars?”

Vil put a hand to his chin to think. “You know, I’m not entirely sure. It could be that the magic of the fallen fairies could be the ones granting the wishes, but I don’t believe anyone is sure.”

“One of the universe’s many mysteries.” Cater’s voice dropped to be almost inaudible.

Yuu looked back up at the Draconia Line constellation. “There’s a hole in the dragon’s heart except for that one bright star, is that one Maleficent?”

Jack nodded, which was hard because he was on the ground. “The area around her is probably being reserved for her immediate family, so one day in a thousand years, Malleus and Lilia will join her and maybe even Sebek if he wasn’t too stubborn to die.”

Yuu laughed. “Yeah, that’s Sebek.”

~~~

Everything hurt.

Sebek was sure his arms and several ribs were broken, but other than that he landed from the seventh floor quite successfully. He attempted to sit up, but his body ached too much.

The shadow monster laid prone on the stone next to him. Sebek hoped it was finally dead. His inhuman vision let him see Silver and Lilia looking out the window he had tumbled from. Lilia vanished and reappeared next to Sebek, looking down at him with a sad face.

“Forgive my tardiness, young man.” Lilia knelt down next to Sebek and began to mutter a healing spell. A wave of warmth rushed over Sebek as the spell took hold over his body and he felt very tired.

“What is that thing?” Sebek looked at the monster. Lilia glanced back at it and shrugged. “I suppose a demon created to take the life of our young prince. You did well holding up against it for so long, I’m sure there’ll be a medal waiting for you when you wake up that you can show to all your companions at school.”

Sebek liked that idea. He imagined wearing a new medal proudly for a week to boast about to his friends.

“Oh Jack what did you do over the break?”

“I was just snowboarding at home.”

“Well I single-handedly fought off a demon and saved the young lord’s life!”

If it didn’t take so much energy, Sebek would have smiled from the thought.

Lilia finished his spell and offered a hand for Sebek to stand. It took effort, but the taller Fae got to his feet and leaned against his mentor. They began to walk away from the body of the monster, but out of the corner of his ever vigilant eyes, Sebek swore he saw it move.

Time seemed to slow down for Sebek. He shoved Lilia to the ground, earning an angry protest from the older Fae, and turned to face the monster as its claws sunk into his chest, tearing away his armor like it was paper.

The healing spell must have dulled his senses because Sebek didn’t feel any pain from the attack. Instead, he just looked up at the night sky and the Draconia Line constellation looked back down at him. The monster retracted its claw and Sebek slumped to the ground. He wasn’t aware of the pool of blood that was forming around his knees and he wasn’t aware of the blood curdling scream that came from Lilia’s lips, nor was he aware of the beam of magic that ripped the monster in two.

No, all Sebek was aware of were the beautiful stars inviting him to dance with them.

~~~

Yuu could see the stars from their bedroom in Jack’s house. After packing up for the night, Yuu, Grim and Jack said their goodbyes and returned to the log cabin. They had packed their things for their return to school in the morning, but while the cat-like monster slumbered peacefully on the bed they shared, Yuu found themself staring at the stars again.

They also found themself feeling a pit of dread well up in their stomach. It was cold like a clawed hand reaching up and tearing them apart from the inside. There was no reason that Yuu could think of to have this feeling, but it made them wonder if returning to Night Raven College would yield another overblotting upperclassman.

Yuu pushed the window open and a cool breeze ruffled their hair. They looked up at the dragon constellation and squinted before their eyes widened in confusion.

Yuu didn’t know how or why, but the bright star in the heart of the dragon was now joined by a smaller star that shone just as bright.

[fletchphoenix]

Sweet As Sugar, Right As Rain

Chapter 3 of the Varigo Coffee Shop AU! Yay! Thanks so much for all the support I’ve been receiving on this fic, I’ve enjoyed writing it so so much! It’s just been amazing (considering this is my first time EVER writing a fic so aha, I really appreciate the support!) Enjoy! <3

Word Count : 3809

TW - Strong Language

---------------------------------------  

  Sunlight beamed through the windows, the rays penetrating the temporary shield of his curtains and straight into his eyes. Hugo let out a loud groan and raised his arm to shield his eyes from the blinding light, however his attempts were futile. He resorted to pulling the emerald sheets over his head with a groan. Birds outside had other plans however, singing and tweeting right outside his goddamn window to ensure he couldn’t go back to sleep. Hugo shoved the sheets back in frustration, kicking them off him and letting them fall into a bundle on the floor. “Note to self. Buy some shutters.” he muttered, propping himself up on his elbows and reaching out for his glasses on the bedside table. 

  As everything came into focus, he took a second to look into the mirror. “Holy fucking shit.” he complained. Blonde locks jutted out in every direction imaginable, sticking up unnaturally. “Okay then. Shower time.” he said to no one in particular, shuffling off his bed as it made a painfully loud creak once his weight left it. Squeaking and shuffling sounded from the cage across his room, catching his attention, and he glanced over. A smile quickly took over his face.

  “Olivia! Hey there girl.” he jogged over, sitting at his desk and opening the top drawer of his desk to take out a packet of sunflower seeds. He tipped a few out of the packet, examining them in his hand before placing them in the cage in front of her. She inhaled the seeds, chittering and scurrying around in the cage happily after her breakfast with an energy unlike any other he’d seen before.

  “Yeah, yeah. I get it. You’re excited. But I’ve gotta go get ready, sweetheart.” he muttered, moving to stand. He gave in to his urges at her pouty face (could mice even pout? He’d have to google it later) before reaching into her cage with his finger and running a finger over her smooth, golden fur. “Okay, NOW I’ve gotta go.” he told the mouse sternly, pushing the chair away from the desk and moving to his feet. Arms made their way above his head in a long stretch as he made his way through the tiny apartment to his bathroom. 

  He should be grateful, he thought, that Donella was kind enough to let him live alone, but god, this place was less than satisfactory. The window panes were cracked in their frames and never really shut properly - making winters like these with their incessant flurries of snow the worst in the world. Banging and screaming always sounded from above him, with his neighbours being possibly the most dysfunctional couple in the history of romance. The walls were paper thin too - he could hear whenever his frat-boy next door neighbour bought a girl round, dreading whenever he did, and he wasn’t even allowed to keep any real pets! It took MANY hours of seducing the landlord to be allowed to keep Olivia in the apartment with him. And don’t even get him started on the rip-off rent costs. Alas, it was home and he couldn’t bear to live with Donella again. She was a great woman, taking him in when he was young and supporting him, but she was terrible when it came to motherly duties and..it was pointless to expect that from her. 

  The bathroom wasn’t much to brag about, either. A lime mat covered most of the tiled floor with a heater barely peeking out under the mass of towels placed carelessly on top of it. Reaching out, he turned the handle and let the water run, so it could heat up gradually. He tapped his foot as we waited, checking his phone. 11:15am. Why did it feel like he was forgetting something? It was probably something Donella told him to do. She did that sometimes - springing plans onto him out of nowhere. As if he didn’t have a social life at all. So inconsiderate, he mumbled to himself. It didn’t matter anyway, the shower water already at the right temperature. He stripped out of his pyjamas and hopped in.

  After his shower, Hugo finished drying his hair, tied it up and quietly changed into a light yellow shirt, blue jeans and his signature green jacket. He loved that jacket dearly, it being one of the first gifts Donella ever got him that wasn’t second-hand. (“Your clothes look ratty,” she’d said, trying to suppress her soft smile with a hardened expression. “I got you new ones. Maybe now you’ll look even slightly presentable.”) At least she was trying, he’d told himself as he started to fix his hair in the mirror. 

  Once he was fully satisfied, he set his course for the kitchen. In the hall, he passed various framed posters on the walls along with newspapers and small sticky notes with his engineering questions noted down on them. (All green, of course, because what was he, a monster? He had an aesthetic to uphold and he was determined to do so, goddamnit!). Shelves also littered the wall - containing various books on topics like engineering, chemistry, biology and physics. Donella had given him them too, so he had something to read growing up and to entertain himself while she was away on her business trips with her friend, Ulla. Sure, she’d be gone weeks at a time, leaving Hugo with Cyrus to be taken care of, but at least he had someone there to take care of him.

  He trailed his hand to the doorknob and twisted it, pushing the door open and walking into the room. It was slightly bigger than the other rooms in the apartment - counters along the walls with a small table in the middle. A clock sat on the wall as well. 12:26pm. Why did it still feel like he was forgetting something? A string of curses left his mouth after he, in his distracted state, stubbed his toe on the chair, “Motherfucker! Ow!” he cried out and hopped awkwardly to the coffee machine which was, not surprisingly at all, fern green. 

  Hugo let the machine do its thing, taking the cup of absolute joy after it was done and adding some sugar. Black coffee was his saviour on a morning - especially after he’d had a party the night before. The bitter taste flooded his mouth and tickled his nose, him letting out a content sigh of happiness. This was it. The freedom he’d always wanted. He let the serenity of the moment relax the tension in his shoulders and allowed himself a moment where he could just be alone. 

  The moment was broken by a bleep on his phone.

  “For fuck’s sake..” Hugo muttered as he checked the time again. 12:47pm. Shit, had it really been that long? Oh well..not as if he had anything to do today. His eyes scanned over the text he had received. 

Cyrus : Hey bud. Have a good time on your date today. Remember - Donella needs you at the workshop by 17:00. Don’t be late.

  Shit.

  He’d forgotten. How had he forgotten he was meeting up with Varian? He was such an idiot! He’d scored a date with the most handsome boy on the planet and somehow he’d forgotten! In his panic, Hugo tipped the coffee down the sink and rushed to the door...stubbing his toe again and slipping over. “FUCKING CHAIR!” he yelled and scrambled to his feet, scurrying and sitting on a step to lace up his shoe. His wallet and keys sat on the table by the door, his hand hurriedly scooping them up, shoving them into his pocket and racing out the door.

  Lungs gasped for air and burned as he sprinted down the street, dodging people on his journey to the coffee shop. The sun shining in the sky was deceiving, the bitter winter air biting at the back of his neck. He should’ve bought a scarf. It was too goddamn cold out here - the December airs howling past his ears. He should’ve bought his headphones too. Oh god, he hoped Varian hadn’t bailed on him. 

  He fell through the doorway, gulping at the stares he received as he made his way through the people in the shop in search of one boy in particular with the beautiful blue streak in his raven hair. He stuttered apologies before his eyes found what he was looking for. Making his way over, he began to apologise. “Hey hairstripe, sorry I’m late. I was-”. His words died out as he made his way closer.

  There, in the same booth as before, sat perfection in its finest form. Varian. His azure eyes were focused outside, gazing and half lidded but looking at nothing in particular. His ebony hair blew slightly in the slight breeze created by the fan in the shop, with the blue streaks sticking out against it. Freckled skin had a slight shine to it from the sun’s rays that provided perfect lighting and bringing out his soft features. His cyan sweater complimented the rest of his outfit, the headphones hanging around his neck matching the colour of his sneakers. It was like a movie scene - absolutely perfect. His mouth felt dry as the boy turned his head and gave him an excited smile and Hugo could swear he felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of it. 

  “Hugh! Hey!” Varian said, waving his hand and watching Hugo as he moved to sit in the booth opposite him. “It’s fine, you don’t need to apologise. I got here early anyway so I was just listening to some music.” he added onto the end, leaning against the table with a grin on his face. “Love the jacket by the way, really compliments the shirt.” 

  “I-thank you. I could say the same for you though. That sweater really brings out your eyes. And your hair.” he reached out his hand, running the strands between his fingers before pulling his hand away. He let out a chuckle at the sight of Varian’s flushed face, eyes fixated on the younger male as he tucked his hair behind his ear and fiddled with the hem of his shirt stuttering out explanations. “Hairstripe, calm down. It’s just a compliment. Anyway, what do you want? The drink is on me.” 

  “Oh, um -a vanilla latte again. Please.”

  “Don’t miss me too much.” he grinned with a smug expression, laughing when Varian pushed him playfully before walking off to order. He let out a content sigh and glanced back at Varian as he ordered their drinks. The boy in question was playing with his hair as he read a chemistry textbook that he must’ve placed on the table when he left. He looked so beautiful, just sitting there without a care in the world. Hugo could just watch him forever, a red tint starting to build on the tips of his ears and cheeks as he realised just how long he’d been staring. He tore his eyes away from the breathtaking boy near the window and brought his attention back to the barista.

  “Vanilla latte and black coffee for Hugo?” the chestnut haired girl questioned, placing the drinks on the side and allowing Hugo to pick them up. He nodded graciously, flashing her a smile before returning to his seat. Leaving a $5 tip in the jar on the way, he sauntered back to the table with the drinks in hand and a smile on his face. 

  “Lord Varian, your drink has been served by your humble servant. I am forever in your debt.” he laughed and sat down opposite the boy again as he pulled his drink close to his chest and took a sip. Hugo looked out of the window with a smile, eyeing the people walking past in the freezing weather, holding hands with their loved ones and cuddling them close to ward back the December breeze. He wished he could do that with a certain obsidian haired boy sitting across from him reading a chemistry textbook like the adorable nerd he was. “So. How’s your week been? I saw you were in the library yesterday. You did look great by the way.” He smirked and winked in his direction.

  “Oh! It's been fine, Hugh. I do tutoring with Nuru on Wednesdays. We look after the sweetest boy in the world called Yong. He’s seriously the smartest kid I’ve ever met, but he gets so nervous to show it, y’know? And Nuru...god, she’s an amazing girl! Intelligent, yes, but just so mature and caring towards everyone! She’s a sweetheart really. How about you? Why were you there yesterday?” Varian asked quizzically, giving Hugo a little head tilt that made his heart soar. Fuck, he loved this boy. 

  “Me? Oh well, I was just picking up some books and doing some studying. I have an essay due in a few weeks and I just needed to look up some things.” he lied through his teeth. It was TOTALLY not because he wanted to see the other teen again before their date. Nope. No way. Nuh-uh. 

  “If you want me to, I could help you with your-”

  “NO!” He yelled out, leaning forward against the table before flushing red and moving back into his seat, composing himself and tapping his leg rapidly to calm himself down. “I’m sorry, I uh-I think I’ll be fine on my own. Thanks for the offer though.” he chuckled awkwardly, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Sorry...I’m just really awkward.” he apologised, sliding back in his chair and covering his face with his hands. Great. Perfect. Absolutely swell. He’s just embarrassed himself in front of the boy of his dreams like an absolute idiot. If whatever god there was could just strike him dead right now, that would be fan-fucking-tastic-

  A giggle followed by laughter and snorts broke him out of his spiral of self hatred. Varian’s hands wrapped around his wrists and gently lowered them, the most loving smile Hugo had ever seen plastered on his face as he dealt with the aftershocks of his laughing fit. “It’s okay. It was cute.” the boy commented, Hugo’s face twisting into a smile as well before joining him in his fit of laughter. 

  They must’ve looked like a strange pair - two boys laughing so hard they were in tears at a coffee shop in the middle of December, but neither of them cared. They were happy and that was all that mattered. Both took a sip from their coffees as they kept their eyes locked on each other. “Yep.” Varian thought, “Coffee does taste better when I’m drinking it with Hugo.” he concluded. He shuffled over in his booth, allowing Hugo to slide in beside him and look at the textbook to help with his questions. 

  Hugo tried his hardest to ignore how close Varian was, but after a few hours it became harder and harder to focus, with their shoulders pressed against each other and leaning forward with their eyes fixated on the book. A deep red flush developed on his cheeks yet again. Any closer and they’d be…Hugo tried not to focus on that, his gaze directing to Varian’s hand. He slowly and shakily took the younger’s hand in his own.

  Hugo turned his head to look at Varian, the younger boy coincidentally doing the same thing at the same time. Their noses almost touched, but both of them were too lost in the moment to bother pointing out the awkwardness of the situation, with Hugo intertwining their fingers under the table. “Hugo?” the younger whispered. Hugo could feel the tantalizing breath on his lips, intermingling with his own. Just a little closer. He tilted his head, leaning in and..

 His phone rang.

  Hugo snapped back to reality and moved away from Varian, letting go of his hand, much to both boy’s disappointment, and picked up his phone to answer it. “Hello?”

  “Hugo.” Donella’s rough voice replied, and boy howdy, did she sound pissed off. He was in trouble for sure this time. “It's 5pm. Where the hell are you.” she growled through the phone.

  “Shit, Donella I’m sorry. I forgot all about the time. I’ll start heading over now, I promise-”

  “Hurry up then.” she commented before hanging up, leaving no time for discussion. Hugo turned to see Varian - the hurt on his face wounding Hugo’s heart. A kicked puppy would probably look less hurt than the boy did in that moment. And he put that look on his face. He really was the worst wasn’t he? 

  “Hey-write down your address. I’ll pick you up at 5 next Thursday-” he began to say, Varian’s face twisting in confusion before grabbing a napkin and handing it to Hugo. “Alright, I’m sorry to cut this short.” he sighed and gathered his things together. Hugo turned to leave, before he felt a hand grab his wrist and a kiss was placed on his cheek. 

  “Thank you.” Varian looked at the floor, his face flushed red however a smile was still evident on it. Hugo’s mouth felt dry yet again as he froze for a second, a now all too familiar heat covering his face. He nodded in response and headed out the store, where he immediately leant against the wall and placed a hand on his cheek. 

  “Holy fucking shit..” he whispered to himself. “I’m in love with Varian Ruddiger.” He let himself get lost in the moment before another bleep reminded him of where he had to be. Shit. He started sprinting down the street, his path illuminated by streetlights as he passed them with a smile on his face. Well…

Next week was gonna be interesting.

  He opened the door to the workshop Donella ran, passing her henchmen as if they weren’t threatening at all. They fixed their glares onto him - okay yep, he was definitely in trouble for being late. He pushed open the doors, putting on his smug facade as he made his way to Donella’s desk. “Hey Donella, I’m here.” he declared, placing his hands on the desk and leaning against it. “You needed me?”

  “Yes, I did.” she frowned at him and gave him her infamous death stare. He cowered back slightly before regaining his composure again. “I trust this won’t happen again..?” she questioned, a slight smile tugging on her lips at the frantic nod he gave. “Good. Now get to work. We have an important client who requested specifically for you to make his product so..get to it.” 

  He hurriedly left her office, heading to his workspace and pulling on his goggles and gloves. Sheesh, that woman could seem evil sometimes - he bet in her past life, she was probably a supervillain. Maybe in an alternate universe, she was. He let out a breathy chuckle, glancing over the blueprints. Hm. Looked difficult, but he could do it. He set the paper aside and began to work, the incident from the coffee shop still playing on his mind. 

He couldn’t wait to see Varian again.

  Meanwhile, Varian packed his things again and began his walk home. Was Hugo about to...kiss him? Did he seriously feel the same as he did? It made him feel giddy just thinking about the way Hugo’s cold hands felt against his warm ones, the closeness that made his heart pound and ache for more contact, the way Hugo leaned in and tilted his head...wow. Hugo liked him. And he liked Hugo. 

  He pushed open his door and, once again, fed Ruddiger before heading up to his room. The cat purred gratefully and ate before following his master, lounging across his bed as if he owned the place. The audacity of the fat bastard! “Sometimes I wonder why I feed you.” Varian wondered aloud, grinning as the cat meowed back and swatted V’s hand as he tried to pet him. “Ow! Okay! Geez, I get it!” he laughed before reaching over and grabbing his phone to see some texts from Hugo.

Hugo : Sorry for leaving so early, short stuff

Hugo : My mom needed me for something and I completely forgot

Hugo : But hey, next week you’ll have me all to yourself ;)))

  Varian scoffed and looked at Ruddiger, who he swore had a disgusted expression as he read the phone screen. “I know Ruddiger. Absolutely disgraceful, isn’t it?” He chuckled, but..deep down he knew he wasn’t opposed to the idea of having Hugo all to himself...He shut that idea down fast, typing out a sarcastic response as he tried (and massively failed) to feign annoyance.

Varian : You wish I’d want that, you twerp

Hugo : Oh I don’t wish, I know ;)

Hugo : also, V? 

Varian : What is it now, Hugh?

Hugo : Thanks for the kiss. Didn’t get the chance to say that earlier but..thanks

Hugo : Anyway, I’ve gotta go. Mom wants me.

Hugo : See you next week, sweetie <3

Varian : No problem, Hugo. See you next week =)

  Varian set his phone aside and sat up. He completely forgot. He kissed Hugo’s cheek. Oh god, please don’t make it awkward, he internally begged. He didn’t want things to become weird between them. He really...really liked Hugo and just didn’t wanna mess this one up. He changed into his PJ’s and shuffled under the covers, reading through their conversations.

  “Goodnight Ruddiger..” he muttered as he turned off the lights and closed his eyes, trying to drift off to sleep. He sighed in frustration and brought out his phone, turning it on quietly and typing out 3 words. 

Varian : I Love You

  His lips twitched into a frown as he stared at those 3 words. They held so much weight - had the power to change the course of his and Hugo’s relationship as soon as he sent them. He thought back to their meeting. Was he just being friendly? Did he just get distracted? Did Hugo actually like him? A hand reached up to run through his hair. What if he was just misreading the signs? 

  What if Hugo found out? What if he found out about all the terrible things Hugo had done? The people he hurt? How badly he messed up? Varian bit his lip so harshly the metallic taste of blood flooded into his mouth. Hugo would never love someone like that. Someone who did everything that he did. Tears he didn’t even know had developed fell onto his phone screen, to his surprise. He quietly set it down and wiped his eyes. Not tonight, he thought.

  Varian held his finger down, erasing the text and setting his phone aside. He tucked his knees into his chest and looked at the wall. He had to tell him one day. Not now, but one day. He slowly started to drift to sleep, the thought of their date still fresh in his mind and the remnants of a smile on his face.

[what-big-teeth]

Reveal (Cambion Boyfriend, pt. 3)

Gender Neutral Reader x Male Monster [Part 1] [Part 2]

Slight lime ; NSFW-ish

The drive to Cam’s apartment complex is silent, save for the smooth jazz pouring from the radio. You know that not even the masterful tones of John Coltran will be enough to soothe him. The way he grips the steering wheel tersely with paling knuckles is proof. But you choose to remain quiet, watching the familiar scenery glide by until you reach one of the complex’s gates. 

You can’t even fathom what to say in this situation. Not after everything that happened.

With the press of a button on Cam’s fob, the iron is pulled away, allowing the car to drive through. He pulls up right in front of his apartment, located on the first floor. With the awkwardness from the car’s interior still lingering between you two, you’d rather not have to rely on Cam to help you inside. So you call upon your stubbornness and manage to haul yourself up using the handle above the passenger side window. Your legs are still horribly weak from whatever your captors injected into your system. But you don’t want to trouble Cam any further—

A gentle hand braces against your lower back. 

“Need some help?” 

You honestly wish you didn't, but the sweat beading your forehead is obvious proof you do. You nod and lean on his side as you two slowly walk indoors. Everything is as you remember it, even with the few empty water bottles piled on the coffee table and the textbooks littering the carpet. But knowing what you do now…

Cam leads you to the couch. You gladly plop down onto the cushions, wincing from the painful twinge in your back. He swiftly sits by your side, hands hovering at the ready.

“What’s wrong?” 

As the dull throbbing dies down, you huff out a laugh.

“Just thinking how support beams aren’t the greatest form of spinal support.”

Instead of lightening the mood as you hoped, your words only deepen his frown. When you try and meet his gaze, he presses to his feet.

“We should take care of those scratches,” he says, walking away.

And just like before, the same awkward air settles around your shoulders, a growing obvious weight. 

When Cam returns with the first aid kit, you close your eyes and swallow any attempts at small talk. Hesitance wins out. The only sound that emerges from your mouth are hisses as Cam dabs at your sensitive facial wounds with an alcohol wipe. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks. 

Your conflicting thoughts give way to a churning mixture of emotion. Anger, at being kidnapped. At being lied to for so long by your closest friends. By the Moores. Fear from not knowing whether you’ll see Jacqui again; from wondering if any other Hunters know about you. But there’s happiness as well, mainly at being saved. Your mind is too addled, too tired, to formulate any words regardless of how much you want it to. 

You aren’t surprised when you end weeping in reply. 

The careful touch of a q-tip stills for a few moments before resuming. Once finished, you expect Cam to get up and leave. But he stays seated, the heat of his body radiating towards you. From the corner of your eye, you see a rich, golden brown hand reach towards your face. It stops short then falls away. 

You don’t try to stop Cam when he gathers the used supplies and the kit, standing to his feet. Not even as he heads further down the short hallway. He returns a few moments later, carrying a few items. A pillow, a blanket, an oversized shirt, and a large pair of sweatpants. He sets the pile beside you, just a bit too far away to actually feel his presence.

“You’re more than welcome to use the bathroom tonight if you want,” Cam murmurs. He gathers the used materials, the first aid kit, and stands. “Let me know if you need anything else.”

When he walks down the hallway this time, he ducks into his room. The door closes with a soft click.

You’re left sitting on the couch, staring at the provisions he left behind. The idea of taking a long bath or shower greatly appeals to you. But with no energy to start the process, it’s a lost cause. So you settle on peeling off your sweat-tinged clothes and trading them for the clean pair. But you can’t bring yourself to lie down and sleep. 

Part of you doesn’t want this gaping discomfort between the two of you anymore. The other mockingly asks how you even plan to fix...this. The doubt grows louder, telling you that now isn’t the time. That if you sleep, things can go back to normal if only for a while. But a small part of you whispers in reply: when will things be normal, if ever?

The two streams of thought war with each other, back and forth. Until one finally wins out.

It leads you to Cam’s bedroom door and gives you enough courage to raise a loose first. Your knuckles rap against the thick wood three times. No answer. You steel yourself before your bravery wanes and enter his room. 

Cam lies in bed, his back facing the open doorway. For a moment, you almost believe he’s asleep. But the subtle way his shoulder blades tense tell you otherwise. And of course it would. You’ve known Cam for years. Even after learning this new development about him, you still do.

It’s why you’re able to to sit beside him, somewhat closer than you were back on the couch. Why you reach out and gently place a hand on his raised shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. 

“I’m not scared of you, if that’s what you think.” You lick your dry lips and swallow down your building nerves. “You’re still the same dork that loves mythology. The same kid who was horribly protective of his copy of the Matter of Britain. No wonder you were such a huge fan of Merlin while growing up.”

Cam shifts, rolling over to meet your gaze head on. 

“This coming from the same person who asked me to read from that book when we were kids. I’d say that makes you as much of a dork as—oof!”

You smack him with a pillow a few times. 

“That’s total heresy and you know it, Cameron Sims.”

His laughter is contagious as you keep up the attack. But one of your swings misses, and Cam strikes, grabbing at your wrist. With a startled “hey!”, you attempt to wriggle free but Cam’s grip is iron-clad. All your struggling does is draw you closer until you’re straddling him. 

He sits up, still holding your wrist captive with a grin.

“You give?”

“For now,” you say, narrowing your eyes. “But just you wait.”

Cam chuckles deep and low. It’s a sound you didn’t realize you had taken for granted. One you want to keep hearing because this is your childhood friend. And someone you feel more than friendship for. 

You reach out and cup his face, silencing his soft laughter. He stares at you with wide, dark brown eyes made visible by the bright moonlight outside. You smile.

“Can I see the real you? Please?”

Your heart pounds heavily in your chest, the sound flooding your veins and echoing in your head. You think Cam can hear the sound, too. He keeps his eyes trained on you as his appearance shifts again. This time, his black, bat-like wings are tucked against his back. But his scales are just as apparent as they were back at the warehouse. 

Red-slitted eyes surrounded by black sclera regard the way your gaze widens. And you reach up with your other hand, letting your fingertips graze the odd yet faint blood red marks underneath his right eye.

“Are these letters?” you ask.

Cam leans into your touch with a soft breath. 

“Yeah. They spell my demonic name: Caimellus.”

You say his name, repeating the three syllables a few times. You rather like how it sounds on your tongue. 

“They’re faded,” he says, “because my mother was human while my father was an incubus. She was an ex-Hunter, to be more precise.”

Your mind recalls the robbery that took the lives of Cam’s parents. His mother, kind and gentle, and his caring yet stern father were never seen again after that night. The authorities cited the intruders as the cause of their deaths, which makes horrific sense. As does his sudden adoption by his godfather.

“It was the Conclave, wasn’t it?” you murmur. “Is that why you were taken in by Dr. Lane?”

Cam nods.

“He was my father’s trusted ally and another incubus. Once he heard about what happened, he immediately claimed me as my father wished in case he died. Dr. Lane is the reason I’ve been able to lay low and hide my demonic nature for so long.”

The moment of silence between you two is bittersweet in many ways. But you refuse to let it deter you from learning more about Cam.

Feeling emboldened by what’s been shared with you, you keep asking questions. Yes, he can feed off of human energy through sexual contact, but chooses not to. Thanks to Dr. Lane’s careful tutelage, Cam learned how to feed through platonic touch instead. The pinch you give to his side for realizing how he was able to lull to sleep as kids is only acknowledged with a chuckle.

You keep going, letting your fingertips trail and touch parts of his body. He confirms his scales are for defense while his claws are weapons in their own right. So are his fangs and tail, if he so chooses. The horns are more of an intimidation factor than anything else—

A dampened moan interrupts his explanation. Your fingertips have barely grazed the area where his horns and his scalp meet. 

“S-sorry,” he says, sounding a little breathless. “Sensitive area.”

You don’t apologize. Because you aren’t sorry. And while holding his unsure if embarrassed gaze, you can’t help but want more. 

“Can I...I want to thank you for saving me,” you whisper. “But only if you want me to.”

As if reading your mind, his slitted gaze flits down towards your lips before finding your eyes again. 

“Please,” he breathes. 

You lean down and press your lips against his. The kiss is chaste, as much as you wish it wasn’t, because it’s taken all of your nerves just to do this much. You can be satisfied with just this, even if he doesn’t return your feelings. You begin to pull away, only for a warm, steady touch against the nape of your neck to stop you. 

Cam slots his mouth against yours, groaning at the contact. His claws gently scrape against your scalp, making you shudder and gasp. He uses the moment to press his tongue against yours, which you’re more than receptive to. There’s a sharp nip to your lip that you return with a huff of laughter. You “accidentally” let your fingers curl around the base of his horns and slowly rub the black keratin. He growls, a low yet deep sound, as he pulls you close so there’s no space between your bodies. You feel something wind around your waist and give it a brief squeeze.

Eventually, your lungs begin to burn. Just enough to cause some discomfort. You pull away from Cam with one last moan. Heat sears your cheeks from seeing the thin trail still connecting your mouths. It’s broken when Cam smirks up at you.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for years.”

You’ve barely registered his words before his lips find yours again. It takes all your focus to not give in to the softness and warmth of his mouth. 

“S-since when?” you manage before he silences you.

“Senior year.” A scrape of fang. “High school.” The slightest squeeze from his tail and his claw-tipped hands. “Night before prom.”

You force yourself to pull away and bite your bottom lip to ground yourself. When Cam attempts to follow, you press your fingertips against his mouth. But he kisses them, undeterred. You use the moment to catch your breath.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Your fingers are left a little cold by his retreat. 

“Growing up, you only knew me as Cameron: a black, nerdy kid with coke-bottle glasses that was way into mythology and reading. As much as I wanted to tell you while growing up, I didn’t know if you would be okay with knowing me as Caimellus.”

So that’s the reason. This whole time, and even before, he’s been just as unsure as you. But not anymore. You hope he understands when you cup his face in your hands, and skim the pads of your thumbs against his cheeks. That when you press a kiss against the faint demonic lettering staining his skin, he knows. Witnessing the glassy shine to his eyes, you know he does. But hearing the words can’t hurt, either.

“I love you and I want to know both parts of you. Cam and Caimellus. Everything you have to offer, I want, for as long as you want me.”

Your body tips over, landing against the bed leaving you to stare up at Cam. He brushes the back of his knuckles against your cheek and smiles. 

“Will forever work?”

You grin. 

“Of course it will—”

You gasp as his clawed hands dip under your borrowed shirt, trailing up to your chest. All while his tail winds up your clothed leg and gently squeezes. 

“Because I really like hearing you say my name,” he breathes against your neck. 

Your fingers dig into his shirt and pull at the worn fabric. 

“If you want to hear it again, you’ve got a couple of years to make up for. Think you can do it?”

One of his hands slips past the elastic of your sweatpants and you can’t help but lift your hips. 

“In spades,” he promises.

“Sounds good to me.”

[emmettspeakz]

Gotta Love DnD, Victor

Love Victor fanfic

Summary: It’s a week after Victor has come out to his family and a few friends, but they haven’t really acknowledged it one way or another. Desperate to help get his friend’s mind off of his family’s reaction (or lack of a reaction) to his coming out, Felix designs a DnD campaign that Victor, Bram, and Simon can play, with Felix as the DM. Fun and crazy stuff ensues. 

Hope y’all enjoy <3

“So how do we do this? All I got are dice.” Bram asks through Felix’s computer screen, holding lime-green crystal dice up to the camera. He and Simon are sitting on the couch in the middle of their apartment, with no space between them. Victor couldn’t help but feel like they were the perfect couple, and hoped that one day Benji and him could be the same way.

It was the weekend after Victor had come out to his family and they had started acting like he hadn’t said anything at all. Victor felt like right now that was for the best, as he didn’t really wanna talk about it anymore either. Things were weird with Mia and Lake, because although she had declared her love for Felix, Lake wasn’t talking to Victor at all, in solidarity and die-hard friendship fashion for Mia. Benji had sent him sweet text messages this week like “hang in there” or “hair looks great today bud” and that would help a bit, but also Victor couldn’t shake the feelings of regret and pain away. That’s how this weekend had happened. Felix had insisted they play DnD to get his mind off things. But because Victor and Felix couldn’t afford to go back to New York, they were somehow trying to do DnD through Skype. It wasn’t working all that well, but god damn it if Felix wasn’t gonna let Victor mope around his house anymore.

“It’s not that difficult now that you guys told me what classes you wanted to be. I think you all should give your characters names though. It’s not creative if you’re just Victor and Bram and Simon.”

Simon gave Felix a look through the webcam, raising his eyebrows.

“No offense.” Felix replied, awkwardly. Felix had moved all the newspapers his mother had collected into the supply closet to make room on the coffee table for DnD, but the closet had reached capacity and Victor worried it would comically burst open like their lives were a part of a cartoon.

“Nice to meet you two by the way. You guys...are—”

While Felix was talking, the couple maintained eye contact with him as Simon rested his head on Bram’s shoulder.

“Right, okay.”

“Felix! You know they’re boyfriends!” Victor called out, sounding more like his teasing self than he has all week.

“I still can’t believe that you never told me you went to New York! The Big Apple? Times Square? You know how much I love Broadway!”

“Well you guys will just have to come visit us again sometime.” Bram suggested, putting his arm around his boyfriend affectionately.

“Alright so let’s start.” Victor said, not wanting to be reminded of the trip that made him lie to his then-girlfriend.

“Okay, so Bram you’re a paladin—” Felix began before he was cut off.

“Paladin? I’m definitely not just brawns!” Bram protested.

“You picked your character!” Victor laughed.

“I know but I think I’m a bit more of a—”

“No, no, no, no. I sent you a character sheet, you filled it out and sent it back to me and then I added the modifiers and all the technical stuff and sent it back to you, so it’s finalized!” Felix said, all his words jumbled together in a long string, sounding hyperactive as usual. “Now,” Felix continued, grabbing a D20 die from on top of his brown coffee table. “Let’s do this.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don’t know much about DnD, but I do know that the DM can’t play too.” Victor said, grabbing Felix’s hand tightly.

“Oh c’mon, let me play Victor! I need this! I haven’t seen Lake in—”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t remind me. Just roll dice when you’re supposed to, DM Felix.”

“Fine, fine, fine, fine,” Felix said, moving a hand through his hair. “Let’s start with this.”

He had four plastic figures, three of them representing Bram, Simon, Victor, and then one representing a figure that Felix started to describe as the Demigorgon before Victor told him to pick something else ‘cause that was “too Stranger Things”.

“Wait, wait, wait. Which character am I again?” Simon interjected before playing had even begun.

“You’re the warlock, the one with a staff, represented by the purple figure on the table.” Felix explained briskly so they could move onto actual gameplay. Simon nodded in understanding and sat back on the couch, letting Felix do his thing.

“Anyway, this big—” Felix met Victor’s gaze “—monster straight out of the movie Alien—”

Victor couldn’t help but laugh, not about Felix’s uncreativeness or lack of forethought about monsters, but the fact that he was the only straight boy in this group and he happened to somehow be the nerdiest one of all four of them.

“You mean gay out of the movie alien?” Simon asked, thinking the same thing Victor was. Victor, Bram, and Simon burst into laughter and all Felix could do was bite his lip awkwardly at the joke.

“Okay so Boris the Brave, Seamus the Strong, and Vladimir the Valiant—”

“Wait, those are our names?” Bram asked, chuckling.

“You guys didn’t pick your names so I made something up on the spot. Now stop interrupting!”

Simon and Bram put their hands up defensively, almost at the same time and Victor chuckled at that. Watching them over the call, Victor was just in awe by them. He guessed that when you were in a relationship for 2+ years, you started acting like the other person. It was weirdly sweet and Victor couldn’t get enough of it. This was what it was supposed to be like to love someone like he did. Maybe one day him and Benji would be that close, would be so love that they were in total sync. It sucked that he was jealous of them, but he was.

“So you guys are traveling through this cave and this big monster thing that looks like it’s from Alien jumps out and lunges at you. Bram, your action.”

“Uh, can I throw Simon at it?”

“Hey!”

“You can if you’d like.” Felix responds. But Bram is shaking his head.

“Can I sing to it?” Victor jokes, smiling brighter than he has in days, his cheeks burning. And when Felix glares at him he simply responds, “What? Isn’t that all that Bards can do in battle?”

“Y’know what, roll for that.”

“For what?”

“Performance! C’mon, you know this! I went over it with you every single day this week during lunch!”

Victor chuckles as Felix puts his blue die into his hand. Victor gives it a good shake before he throws it onto the table.

“10.”

Fellix then takes his own die and rolls his own number.

“I got 15, so that did not hit. The Alien is still awake, and none of its stats have been altered.”

“Nice try Victor!” Simon said encouragingly, before turning to his boyfriend. “Maybe this is a job for a paladin?”

“Okay, I’ll try. Um, I’m going to attack the Alien with my sword.”

“Okay, roll for strength, then add your modifier from your character sheet.” Felix said.

Bram ironically cracked his knuckles before taking his die and rolling, which both Victor and Simon found amusing.

“Uh, 14. Plus my strength modifier which is +2.”

“Okay, you definitely hit it. Now roll for damage given.”

Bram looked blankly at Felix.

“Just, roll the die again to see how much damage you deal on the Alien.”

“Oh, gotcha.”

Bram rolls again.

“Uh, 9. Is that with the modifier still or no?”

“Not this time, but you’ve dealt 9d sword damage to the Alien, which means you’ve been spotted and Simon’s character can’t use his stealth to get away anymore.”

“What? We could’ve snuck around it?” Bram grumbled, throwing his hands up in the air.

“It’s an open-world kind of game, man. You gotta think outside of the box.” Felix replied pointedly. Bram sighed and handed the die to Simon, who chose to roll for dexterity, to run away from the alien.

“Isn’t Bram the athlete?” Victor teases him.

“Yeah! But you’re just gonna run away from the alien and leave us to die from it?”

“No! If this works, I’m gonna go find the next village and see if there’s anyone who can help us.”

“Alright, roll for that.” Felix says.

Simon shakes the die like Bram did, but with a bit more vigor and then throws it down on his coffee table.

“Uh…it’s a nat 20!” Simon cheers, but he looks nervous.

“I’m trusting you here!” Felix reminds him. “I can’t actually see your die, but you better be honest with me!”

“It’s a one.” Bram informs his DM, looking scared at what outcome this will yield as he grabs Simon’s arm and squeezes it tightly toward his body.

“Bram!”

“Simon, they’re our friends! We can’t lie to them!”

“Fine,” Simon grumbles. “I just hope we’re not screwed now.”

“So Simon, since you got rolled a 1, you’re getting the energy to run away and then slip and fall and yell, ‘fuck!’ just as loudly as you can, so now the Alien has turned on you.”

“Oh shit!” Simon yells, almost proving Felix’s point.

It takes a little while before anyone knows what to do to stop the monster, and since it’s the afternoon and the boys haven’t eaten anything, they take a break for some pizza delivery before going back to the game.

“I’m gonna try to hit it again.” Bram says when they sit back down to it. It’s been hours since they started the game and all they’ve done is fight this one monster, but Victor doesn’t care. He hasn’t thought a bit about what going back to his house is gonna be like and frankly he doesn’t care. He’s enjoying this nerdy time with his friends and wish it could never stop.

“Roll for strength.”

Bram does.

“Ugh, 3!”

“Is that with or without the modifier?” Felix asks. Luckily it’s without.

“So 5? That does not hit. Now you’ve made the Alien all angry though.”

“Ugh, what now?”

“Victor, your turn again.” Felix tells him, handing him his blue die. “What’s your action?”

“I’m gonna see if maybe I can appeal to a nearby animal for help.” Victor says, sounding just like a bard. Felix can’t help but laugh, but it’s a sound strategy, as nothing else has worked out for them yet.

“Roll for performance.” Felix says.

Victor shakes the die and then drops it onto the table. It moves around and around like a spinning top. It’s moving so fast, but at one point it looks like it’s gonna be a nat 20 before it tips the opposite direction. Victor sighs in disappointment before he realizes it has landed on 18.

“What, no way!” Victor cries out, holding his hands up high towards the ceiling. “That’s a nat 20 right?”

“Well, it is a 20, but not a natural 20. You definitely got some animal’s attention. A wolf-bat hybrid creature comes out of its den in the cave and you ask it to help you and your friends get out of the cave. And it’s happy you asked it for help, so it starts leading you out of the cave and away from the alien. Just then—”

“What? Just then, nothing. I rolled a 20, you can’t have something happen to us now!” Victor cries out.

“It’s my game, I can do whatever I want.” Felix replies his voice light and teasing.

“There’s a sudden earthquake and huge rocks start falling down upon all of you. All of you roll for dexterity to get out of the way of the falling rocks and catch up with the wolf-bat hybrid to get to safety.”

Simon rolls, then Bram and Victor roll simultaneously. Simon rolls a 7, Bram a 13, and Victor gets an 11.

“Since Bram made it above 12, he has to help Simon out of the cave after he gets hit on the back of the head once with a rock. Victor leads the group to safety with the help of the wolf-bat hybrid and it’s on to the next village. End of game 1.”

“Wow! What an awesome game Felix!” Bram remarks.

“This was really fun you guys,” Simon agrees, speaking into the webcam as if he was meeting Felix and Victor’s gazes directly. “Hopefully we can do it again next time when we’re in Atlanta.”

“Wait, you mean, you guys are coming to visit US?” Victor asks, incredulous. He can’t believe his ears.

“Yeah, you came to visit us, it’s only fair we do the same thing. Besides, Bram wants to get some pointers from the coach about how to coach middle school kids.”

“Might wanna choose a different gym teacher to learn from,” Felix tells him, smiling.

“Whatever, we wanna see you guys, and introduce you to our friends Leah and Abby too. We’re all coming back for a homecoming type thing, even our friend Nick is gonna be there. It’s not for at least a month, but we’ll be up there soon, I promise. And as always, we’re here if you need anything, Victor.”

“Thanks you guys. I can’t wait to see you guys in person again.” Victor says, and he’s definitely gushing. They used to be strangers to him, but now he can’t imagine life without their support. They’re like his fairy gay fathers or something. Victor laughs at that prospect, but it’s an accurate name for them.

“Nice meeting you Felix! Great game! Talk to you guys soon!” Bram says, and the call goes out.

“They’re really great.” Felix says, almost absentmindedly.

“Yeah,” Victor says, fully registering how he feels towards all the new friends he’s made in the last few weeks, and a warm, welcoming feeling filling up his stomach, almost like the butterflies that welled up in his chest when he kissed Benji. Only this was different. This was purely platonic. Victor’s family life might not be what he’d like it to be right now, but his social life was better than it ever was in Texas. What’s more, he was finally living his true life, his gay self, and he felt better than he had in days.

“Yeah, they’re pretty great.”

[excvlsior]

about: *leo fowler.

basics.

full name: leopold kristoff fowler meaning of name: leopold = ‘people’ & ‘bold’, kristoff = ‘bearing christ’ nickname: leo, tadpole by some family members age: 23 date of birth: november 12, 1996 hometown: tallahassee, florida nationality: american ethnicity: dutch gender: demiboy sexuality: pansexual spoken languages: dutch, english profession: in lovell he’s a part time student and works at fowler’s flowers, but just the latter in st. louis

appearance.

height: 6′2″ eye colour: blue hair colour: auburn??? i feel like that’s the version of if someone had strawberry blond hair bt . strawberry brown instead??? idk it’s reddy-brown voice: pretty deep, surprisingly smooth jst feel like he has the personality of someone with a rougher voice bt . alas...... obnoxiously thick southern accent tattoos: c’est la vie on his ribcage, kristoff on his hip, ‘x’ on the inside of his middle finger done in shitty stick and poke, ‘L’ done in stick and poke on the side of his wrist, heart with a knife through it on his chest, tattoo inside his lip that says ‘pussy master’* :pensive:, ‘ouch’ on the bottom of both soles of his feet*, a hand giving the middle finger on the back of his left calf, dolly parton’s signature on the top of his thigh from when he got it at one of her concerts, a smiley face on his ass* >_>, a melting popsicle on the back of his right bicep*, ghost face mask on his right shin; * = he did them on a dare LKHSDGKLHLSDG piercings: lobes, right cartilage, industrial bar in his left ear, nostril, had an eyebrow and lip piercing when he was younger clothing style: pretty dishevelled and purposely ill prepared outfits, sometimes u can catch him in just plaid and khakis but more often than not he’s in something weird, his prized possession is a leopard print shirt that has a heart in the center, steals clothes from his aunt and uncle when he has nothing clean/can’t bother finding anything, been seen in marj’s skirts and leggings bc of this, and then on the other hand he’ll wear like a lime green tank top with a monster baseball cap worn sideways his style is just carefree and eclectic

health.

physical ailments: n/a neurological conditions: bipolar i disorder allergies: n/a sleeping habits: pretty much only falls asleep between the hours of 3-5 am, doesn’t matter if he works the morning or afternoon shift....... if he doesn’t work at all he’ll just sleep until his body naturally wakes up which is also usually around 3-5 pm KLSDGLKHSDGLKHDG exercise habits: doesn’t exactly have one..... he’s a pretty active and energetic guy so he’s usually up and about doing whatever anyway, also rides his bike everywhere since marj and steve r usually out with the only car they have sociability: loves being around people but he’ll eventually grow cranky, doesn’t necessarily need to be alone but at least with a different group of people if he gets to this point, the only time he actively doesn’t really want to see people is when he’s having a depressive episode but those don’t last too long as is drink / smoke / drugs: yes / yes / yes

personality.

positive traits: adventurous, courageous, determined, funny, gregarious, independent, quick-witted, tough, versatile negative traits: belligerent, cantankerous, foolhardy, harsh, impulsive, parsimonious, sarcastic, tactless, unpredictable, vulgar goals/desires: lowkey he’d never admit it but he just kinda wants his parents’ approval in the end, and also maybe to find something better than supervisor at a flower store (no offence to marj and steve its just not his dream) fears: staying committed and missing out on different opportunities/people that could change his life, the fact that he probably can’t do any better than be a supervisor at a flower store tbh hobbies: drinking, drawing a bit tbh, thrifting, loves collecting random knick knacks and is personally loving buttons rn, harassing his friends<3, making stupid tiktoks that somehow have gotten him a kind of big following habits: swearing obnoxiously without caring, yells in dutch when he’s frustrated which he’s mostly picked up on cuz everyone else in his family does it, stares more than what is socially acceptable tbh, refuses to walk under ladders

favourites.

weather: sunny with some clouds colour: dark green music: likes a lot of 90s and early 2000s rap and rock, old school country like he loves dolly parton LKSDHGKLHSDGLK rly enjoys elvis presley too, some edm or anything that he can jst dance wildly to movies: old school slasher films, screams his fav movie series ever food: spaghetti bt specifically w marj’s Phenom homemade meat sauce<3 drink: grape juice, whiskey sour

relationships.

father: steven fowler is his uncle but currently his legal guardian, he’s a co-owner of fowler’s flowers and is kind of a mess but in like the fun way....... LKSHDGKLHSLDG he just spends a lot of the day in nothing but boxers and socks w their cat on his lap watching the weather report if he’s not working, has the weird energy of someone who would be running like a joke shop instead of being a florist. archibald fowler is leo’s biological dad but he sucks Big Time, giant business typhoon i hvnt . figured out 100% wht sort of business bt hes got Money bt doesnt even rly want anything to do w leo he jst sees him as a massive disappointment bc archie’s nothing but a loser fart of a square. mother: marjorie fowler’s his aunt and other legal guardian also the other co-owner of fowler’s flowers, literally the sweetest woman on the planet like she’s never done anything wrong in her life n u can take tht to the bank. she’s a bit weird n super spiritual, their house constantly smells like random herbs and rly intensely of flowers and plants bc she makes so many home remedies bt she’s an angel a fkin ANGEL!!!!! renata kline’s leo’s mom n she’s like . fine ig she was pretty negligent n her best friend is a bottle of wine....... she rly peaked at a young age when she was a pageant girl n she still coaches n stuff now bt she’s obvs rly sad so leo tries not to lose it on her too much even tho he thinks she’s annoying LKSHDGKLHSLDKGKLSDG siblings: augustus is his oldest brother and he’s pretty cool, probs the brother leo is closest with even tho he considers him boring bt it’s only bc he’s . actually responsible n wht not they had a lot of fun growing up together tho when leo visited new york. mikhael is the devil, he’s actually a bit of a cunt n both him n leo have expressed their hatred fr each other without missing a beat i think they actually dnt hv any love or affection fr the other in the slightest SKLDHGLKSDHG. vaughn n leo r closest in age he’s not tht much younger n he’s probs the shiest of them, pretty soft spoken n well meaning, him n leo dnt rly keep in contact too much anymore bt theres a special place in his heart fr vaughn he’s pretty protective even tho he bullies him a lot bt thts besides the point. willhelm’s the youngest n it kinda shows he’s pretty idgaf attitude n rly blunt bt he’s also funny n probs the biggest partier outside of leo so he gets a pass whenever he rolls his eyes in leo’s face. pets: mitzie’s an 8 year old tortoiseshell cat who lives primarily on ppls laps shes literally more lap dog than cat significant other: n/a family’s financial status: middle class

extra.

zodiac sign: scorpio<3 mbti: estp - the entrepeneur enneagram: the epicure temperament: sanguine hogwarts house: gryffindor moral alignment: chaotic neutral primary vice: pride primary virtue: dilligence element: fire

[food-advisor]

21 Shelf-stable meals for your Emergency food deliver

You’ve in all likelihood heard the recommendation to have an emergency meals supply and stock up on different simple wishes in response to the brand new coronavirus outbreak. That’s due to the fact professionals say it's miles possibly that we’ll see the new coronavirus (COVID-19) spread widely inside the U.S. 

Proper now, the centers for ailment manage and Prevention (CDC) says that most people within the U.S. Have little immediate danger of exposure, but the usual danger evaluation varies extensively depending to your state of affairs (like if you’re in a network with an acknowledged outbreak, you’ve traveled to an area with an acknowledged outbreak, or you’ve been in contact with someone who has). It’s important to keep in mind that the scenario is unexpectedly evolving—and based totally on cutting-edge global circumstances, COVID-19 is likely to purpose an epidemic here in some unspecified time in the future, the CDC says.

The branch of the place of birth safety advises preparing for a potential pandemic using having a two-week delivery of food and water accessible (amongst different matters, like prescription and OTC meds). That manner, if quarantine does occur, you’re already set—and, as SELF previously reported, it’s virtually better to buy now so shops can reorder stock earlier than any capability shortages due to a pointy leap in demand and/or supply chain disruptions. (For extra professional advice on the way to get geared up for a probable pandemic, study 5 activities in case you’re concerned about Coronavirus inside the U.S. Or test the CDC emergency package checklist.)

Shelf-strong meals, especially, are your smartest buy for an emergency meal supply. That nonperishable merchandise can be stored thoroughly at room temperature and stay properly for weeks, months, or years without refrigeration (ever, or as a minimum until after starting), in keeping with the American branch of Agriculture (USDA) meals safety and Inspection carrier. That’s because they’ve been handled with the aid of heat and/or dried if you want to kill any microorganisms that can cause spoilage or foodborne illness, and then packaged in sterile, airtight containers like cans, bottles, pouches, and cartons, the USDA explains. (Shelf life varies, so test the expiration date on the packaging.)

Blanking on what the heck you should be buying? We’ve got a reachable list of shelf-strong ingredients for your emergency food supply intending to offer you tasty nourishment, pandemic, or no pandemic. First-rate case state of affairs, you wind up with some scrumptious and convenient greater food to your pantry.

Just a brief note: the goods listed here had been available on the hyperlinks beneath as of publication, but if they aren’t to be had anymore, attempt your nearby grocery save or Google to discover something similar.

The scenario with coronavirus is evolving rapidly. The recommendation and information on this story are correct as of press time, however, it is viable that some data points and hints have changed because of publication. We inspire readers to stay updated on information and pointers for his or her network with the aid of checking with their nearby public fitness department.

All merchandise featured on SELF is independently decided on by using our editors. If you buy something via our retail links, we may earn an affiliate fee.

1 - Mac and Cheese

You might have a few boxes of this goodness on your shelves already.

Products to try:

365 Everyday Value, Shells & Cheese, $1, Amazon Fresh

Annie’s Gluten Free Rice Pasta & Cheddar Macaroni & Cheese, $24 for pack of 12, Amazon

Kraft Deluxe Original Macaroni and Cheese Dinner Cups, $4 for pack of 4, Amazon

2 - Crackers

Crackers are a great vehicle for other stuff you might have on hand, like nut butter or cheese. Whole grain will be more filling.

Products to try:

Mary’s Gone Crackers Super Seed Rosemary Crackers $4, Amazon

Triscuit Fire Roasted Tomato and Olive Oil Crackers, $2, Amazon

Blue Diamond Almond Cheddar Cheese Nut Thins, $16 for pack of 6, Amazon

3  - Applesauce

This stuff is very much for adults too. For a better deal, go for a big jar over single-serving cups.

Products to try:

Santa Cruz Organic Applesauce, $5, Amazon Fresh

Mott’s Cinnamon Applesauce, $3, Amazon Fresh

Nut/seed butter

Always amazing by the spoonful, in PB&Js, on crackers, or with apples.

Products to try:

Justin’s Cinnamon Almond Butter, $9, Amazon

Wild Friends Creamy Peanut Butter Creamy $5, Amazon

Sunbutter Natural Crunch Sunbutter, $7, Amazon Fresh

Oats

This breakfast staple is super versatile in terms of toppings (literally anything) and cooking method (on the stovetop, in the microwave, or overnight).

Products to try:

Quaker Old-Fashioned Oats, $3, Amazon Fresh

365 Everyday Value, Organic Quick Cook Steel Cut Oats, $4, Amazon

Quaker Instant Oatmeal Express Cups, Honey & Almonds, $12 for pack of 12, Amazon

Canned chili

Vegetarian or meatless, spicy or mild—just heat and eat for a filling dinner.

Products to try:

Stagg Country Brand Chili with Beans, $8 for pack of 6, Amazon

Amy’s Organic Medium Vegan Chili, $3, Amazon Fresh

Granola/protein bars

Tasty bars are one of the best snacks ever, quarantine or not.

Products to try:

Kind Dark Chocolate Chunk Granola Bars, $3 for pack of 5, Amazon Fresh

RXBAR, Peanut Butter & Berries Protein Bar, $19 for pack of 12, Amazon

Quaker Chocolate Chip Chewy Granola Bars, $11 for pack of 58, Amazon

Dried fruit

The trail mix staple will help you get your daily servings of fibrous fruit and natural sweetness in. Maybe try a new kind—pineapple, mango, apple, banana, blueberries…

Products to try:

Mariani Mediterranean Apricots, $15 for pack of 4, Amazon

Newman’s Own Organic Prunes, $6, Amazon

Sunbest Mango Slices, $17, Amazon

Tuna pouches

Your best bet for Omega-3 fatty acids that last a long while. The plain canned stuff you had as a kid works, but there are also tons of flavorful varieties available in pouches today.

Products to try:

Bumble Bee Lemon & Pepper Seasoned Tuna, $12 for pack of 12, Amazon

Safe Catch Elite Wild Tuna, Chili Lime, $45 for pack of 12, Amazon

Milk

You’ve probably seen shelf-stable cartons of nondairy milk at the grocery store—soy, almond, rice, hemp. Dairy milk also comes in shelf-stable cartons and bottles.

Products to try:

Silk Original Soymilk, Original, $2, Amazon Fresh

Horizon Organic, Low Fat Organic Milk Box, $6 for pack of 6, Amazon Fresh

Silk Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk, Unsweetened Vanilla, $10 for pack of 6, Amazon Fresh

Canned veggies

Having a nonperishable source of vegetables is key in the event you can’t hit the grocery store.

Products to try:

Amazon Brand Happy Belly Mixed Vegetables, $1, Amazon Fresh

Del Monte Fresh Cut Blue Lake Green Beans, $18 for pack of 12, Amazon

Popcorn

One of the more fun whole grains to have on hand. Go for dry kernels, which stay good longer than microwave bags.

Products to try:

Orville Redenbacher’s Gourmet Popcorn Kernels, $11, Amazon

Anthony’s Organic Yellow Popcorn Kernels, $11, Amazon

Jerky

The gas station classic is a great source of animal protein (beef or turkey), with lots of zesty flavors.

Products to try:

Cattleman’s Cut Teriyaki Beef Jerky, $13, Amazon Fresh

Lorissa’s Kitchen Szechuan Peppercorn Grass-Fed Premium Steak Strips, $5, Amazon Fresh

Canned fruit

If any fresh fruit you happen to have already goes bad or runs out, you’ll be happy to have the preserved stuff on hand. No peeling or slicing required!

Products to try:

Dole Diced Pears in 100% Juice, $2 for pack of 4, Amazon

Dole Crushed Pineapple in Juice, $18 for pack of 12, Amazon

Hearty soups

Opt for beefier varieties like minestrone, chicken noodle, or lentil vegetable, which contain several different food groups to make a meal in and of itself. Comes in cans and cartons.

Products to try:

Wickedly Prime Chicken Noodle Soup, $22 for pack of 6, Amazon

Pacific Foods Organic Creamy Roasted Red Pepper & Tomato Soup, $4, Amazon Fresh

Amy’s Organic Chunky Vegetable and Lentil Vegetable, $25 for pack of 6, Amazon

High-protein Pasta

Pasta made with beans and legumes is extra high in protein, which is awesome if you don’t have access to the fresh proteins you might usually have at lunch or dinner.

Products to try:

Barilla Protein Plus Farfalle Pasta, $3, Amazon Fresh

Banza Chickpea Pasta Variety Case, $20 for pack of 6, Amazon

Cereal

You can’t go wrong with cereal, whether it’s a whole grain variety, a crunchy granola, or the “kids’ stuff.”

Products to try:

Kashi Berry Fruitful Whole Wheat Biscuits , $3, Amazon Fresh

Cascadian Farm Organic Granola, Cinnamon Raisin Cereal, $17 for pack of 6, Amazon

General Mills Frosted Cheerios, $3, Amazon Fresh

Rice

From basmati to brown, any type of this beloved grain will serve you well.

Products to try:

Lundberg California Brown Basmati Rice, $23 for pack of 4, Amazon

Uncle Ben’s Original Converted Long Grain Rice, $8, Amazon Fresh

Precooked entrees

These are lifesavers any day of the week. The only thing you have to do here is warm up the food in the pouch, in the microwave or on the stovetop.

Products to try:

Tasty Bite Channa Masala, $18 for pack of 6, Amazon

Campbell’s Ready Meals, Creamy Dumplings With Chicken & Vegetables, $2, Amazon Fresh

Trail Mix

This energy-dense snack tastes just as good inside as in the great outdoors. Nuts, seeds, dried fruit, chocolate—you’ve got lots of options.

Products to try:

Archer Farms Monster Trail Mix, $15, Amazon

Powerup Almond Cranberry Crunch Trail Mix, $7, Amazon

365 Everyday Value Chocolate Cherry Carnival Trail Mix, $7, Amazon

Navy Beans

Beans are one of the greatest sources of plant protein and fiber there is. Dried and canned are both shelf-stable. Any variety will do, but navy beans are particularly versatile.

Products to try:

Bush’s Best Navy Beans, $1, Amazon Fresh

[cloudbattrolls]

Aftermath

Chimer Latrai | Civitrecce | Present Night

The fuchsia blearily wiped her eyes as she looked down on the city. There hadn’t been too many deaths, somehow...but the property damage was colossal, and it hadn’t just been corporate office buildings. Regular neighborhoods had been torched by pyrokinesis or knocked over by telekinetics too. 

Her ship thrummed with solar power as it hovered in place, and she looked at the security screens to see how her bunch of trolls was doing.

A lot of them were hers - support staff, local experts, her intel crew, Amdzah and a few of her other guards - but some were trolls she’d grabbed off the streets, sometimes without asking if a giant chunk of debris had been headed their way.

Unfortunately, most of the powerful highbloods had been transportalized or otherwise spirited away to safety, safe in emergency bunkers as the city burned and broke.

She had no word on where Cherie was, but whatever, as long as the little shit was keeping their head down. If she was really lucky, someone had culled them for her.

Tabula...what had happened to the maroon? Would she have taken a bargain with a worm god or wish dragon? Could they even affect her, empty of desire unless she chose otherwise?

“Miss Latrai, there’s something here for you in the entry bay.”

A voice spoke through the ship’s intercom. 

“Mmmwhat?” yawned the seadweller, shaken from her reverie. “It better not be another glitter bo -” 

“Hello, Chimer.”

She sat bolt upright as another voice came through the speaker.

“Whatthefuck.”

“It’s good to see you too. Come and say hello. It’s been a while.”

The fuchsia was dazed, blinking in disbelief, but she checked to make her trident was the top of her sylladex before she took the elevator down to the bay. 

Her poor attendant looked terrified, ears pinned back as lines of lime energy glowed around them, restraining them.

The fuchsia raised an eyebrow as she took in the woman - android, technically, from the sheen of the false skin and the purple joins - casually lounging on the couch nearby, looking perfectly unconcerned.

“Blanca. Wassup. Why’sup.”

The woman smiled.

“They tried to disable me. Not that I have an open switch for that - that’d be silly. What an obvious weakness.”

“Was she being spooky?” Chimer addressed the brownblood, who looked like they’d rather be anywhere else.

“I didn’t know she could speak on her own.” They whispered. “I thought she was just a messenger robot, and she was malfunctioning…”

The politician snapped her fingers.

“Yeah, about that, how did you get here? This ship has all incoming transmissions and transportalizations monitored and held until they’re screened. I know I’m not the most tech savvy person, but I have people who are, and I didn’t even get a ping. How?”

Blanca merely pressed a finger to her lips and smiled.

“All in good time, Chimer. I’m here to help.”

“I’ll have an easier time swallowing that if you let...uh...what’s your name, kid?”

“Benzen, ma’am.”

“If you let Benny here go. Try not to creep everyone out, capiche?”

The woman waved her hand dismissively, and the brownblood made themself scarce as the energy dissipated.

Chimer sighed, sitting down on the couch opposite her old...acquaintance? Former friend? Ex? Whatever.

“First Cherie, then you. I thought we were all gonna go our separate ways after the last bunch of nonsense.”

“What do you have against me, Chimer? We all worked together against Echthros.”

The seadweller snorted.

“You made that problem in the first place by stealing my powers, then making me forget about it. Zelaya gave me the dirt, y’know.”

A flash of guilt and then anger darkened the woman’s face before she sighed, the noise strange from a body that didn’t have real lungs. It sounded like a recording. Maybe it was.

“I made some mistakes, but are you really going to hold all that against me? It was a long time ago, even for you. Certainly for me. I was just a girl.”

Chimer snorted and held up a hand.

“A girl who profited off the plague, cursed her kismesis, tried to rewrite history, killed her lusus in return for shapeshifting powers, and raised the dead. Yeah, don’t even try.”

The fuchsia counted down fingers as she rattled off her list, and the android laughed.

“I was wild then, wasn’t I?” She remarked in a fond voice. “But those nights are behind me. I don’t have necromantic powers anymore  - this body can’t use them, even if I had my bells.”

“The constructs are new, though.”

The android let some lime sparks dance across her palms.

“Aren’t they fun? One of the nice things about technology.”

“Srevni sure left you some toys, huh.”

The android’s glowing eyes narrowed as the fuchsia smiled sardonically.

“So she survived after all. Where is she hiding?”

“They’re just dandy, and I’m not telling you.”

Her fists clenched, her ears flicking back and forth. Chimer held the silence, staring resolutely with her arms crossed.

Blanca looked away first.

“I know what Coloth is up to.”

“Way ahead of you, already had someone retrieve that info. Was about to use it against him when the monsters hit and everything went cuckoo.”

Her smile was back.

“So you don’t know.”

“Be straight with me or clear off, Blanca, I have too many other things I could be doing right now.”

“So responsible.” She said, teasingly, crossing her legs together. “Don’t you ever miss what we got up to? Sneaking around behind the church’s backs, taking down the highblood mages? Not having to answer to anyone?”

“Sure. You know what else I miss? Being able to trust you wouldn’t wipe my memories.”

“I can’t now.” She pointed out acidly. “So will you listen to me and stop bringing up the past?”

The taller woman leaned back, folding her hands behind her head.

“Go for it, then.”

“You might know Coloth’s plans to mass market the shapeshifting psi in containers for helming purposes, but after the monster incident you needed seeker tech from him for? He had a new idea: acquiring all of Civitrecce’s surveillance for himself. Putting down every single rebel in their own hive.”

The fuchsia’s fins rippled in amusement.

“He want to buy me a whole moon while he’s at it? That’s impossible, he’d have to fight so many legal battles the teals would own his ass for the next five hundred sweeps.”

The former undead pressed the tips of her fingers together, lips pulled back. 

“That would be true...if the Empire wasn’t looking for people they could pawn off the city’s reconstruction on. They’re willing to promise the lowest bidder anything if they can clean up the mess.”

Chimer swore. That sounded way too likely to be true - she’d verify it, but her news people had probably already at least heard rumors.

“I can’t interfere with that.” She said, dragging a hand down her face. “That’s technically private business. On paper, politicians are supposed to stay out of it.”

“Why do you play their game, Chimer? The system is already corrupt. You’re not holding any moral ground by going along with it when no one else bothers.”

“‘Cause go shove your face in a beaky mask again, that’s why.”

The android blinked.

“If you can’t understand why I do things this way, I’m not gonna bother going into it. What do you want, anyway? I know darn well you didn’t poof yourself here just to warn me about Coloth.”

“What I’ve always wanted, Chimer. I want my people to be free.”

“I can’t turn back time anymore, even if I wanted to. The clock’s gone, and if a single limeblood has survived this city, I’ll be surprised. You’re in the wrong place.”

The woman’s glowing eyes briefly flash in strings of code. 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about Civitrecce, Chimer. A lot I can tell you, if you accept my help.”

“‘Kay. What’s your price?”

“Cherie dead, at some point. Doesn’t have to be now. I’m sure you’ve longed to get rid of them yourself. Have you realized why they’re dogging your steps yet?”

The fuchsia looked at her nails, bored.

“They inherited a weird jealousy complex from their ancestor? Yeah, been there seen that. It’s annoying, they’re annoying, I have more important things to worry about.”

The elder Rincon leaned forward, studying the fuchsia with a gaze that was slightly uncomfortable in its intensity.

“Stop staring at me with them big ol’ eyes. What.”

“Just wanted to make sure you believed that.”

“You’re the liar liar stake on fire, not me.”

The former undead scowled.

“Too soon?” said Chimer innocently. 

“Don’t joke about how I died.”

“Don’t zap energy around people for being scared of your weird metal ass and we’ve got a deal.”

Some sort of malicious feeling flicked across the woman’s face, the purple markings above her eyes slightly eerie in their glowing light.

“As you like.” She said, tone neutral. 

Chimer decided not to go there. Blanca was a grown adult, even if she didn’t look it, and she wasn’t stupid enough to try to stab the fuchsia in the back on her own ship. She’d have her staff keep an eye on her - that’d be enough for now.

“Anywho, make yourself at hive. I dunno what you use for energy, but feel free to take it. I’m tired, we can trade more deets later. Here, have a welcoming present.”

Rummaging in her sylladex, the fuchsia took out an old necklace, tarnished with time - but the carvings on the strung bones were still visible, abstract swirls of fae and animals in an endless dance.

Blanca almost didn’t catch it, so surprised was she when her old friend tossed it to her.

“You kept it?” She said in a voice that was almost a whisper.

“‘Course. Things can be good again, you know. Stop plotting all the time, it won’t kill - okay, it did, my bad with the stake thing before, but things can be better. If you try. That’s why I do what I do, y’know.”

“...do you not want it anymore?” 

She clutched the necklace as if it were a lifeline.

“Nah, we can share. Just figured you’d like to see it.”

The limeblood - she had once been lime, long ago when she’d been alive - nodded. 

“Help me put it on?”

The politician blinked. All right then.

“Sure.”

She walked over, bent down on one knee, and fastened it around the much shorter woman’s slender neck. It was amazing, really, how well her current form mimicked her original one - if a lot smoother and cleaner. Blanca had always been covered in small scars when she’d been alive - from fights, from plague, because she’d tried some new necromancy experiment that tried to take a bite out of her. 

Chimer got up again, making finger guns as she stepped back to face her new guest.

“Ta da.”

“Thank you.”

“Any time. I do need sleep though, it’s almost dawn. Light light.”

“Light, Chimer.”

When she slept, the fuchsia dreamt of long ago, when a girl with white hair had offered her a way forward. Even if they had to rip it from everyone more powerful.

She dreamt of stolen things, of a clock that never stopped ticking, and realizing quite by accident, that she’d been in love.

[currebunz]

Commission: Attack on Titan AU Parks and Recs

AO3 Link

A thick air hung in the office, crushing everyone's motivation for the day. The source of this bad energy came in the form of the ex-husband of the health advisor who worked in the same office area. The employee themselves were very nice and actually very apologetic for the situation. But the ex-husband was more than happy to be in the office. That was because he was here for an IRS tax audit. The Department of Trost had never had such a cold day before, even with the air conditions on high. whenever the man walked by, it was like a cold breeze went by. The younger and new hires were on high alert, flinching whenever the man was within sight. Sasha dived under her desk on her break as he walked by to look over Connie's shoulder. It was like watching a horror movie with a monster that didn't kill anyone. "I haven't had single thought with that guy walking around," Reiner said quietly while he was in the break room. Bertholdt had an open lunchbox in front of him but wasn't eating. "You think he can hear me chew? He told me chewing violated public health guidelines" he muttered quietly. "He's even gotten to Bert!" Reiner told Jean. "I can see that! Keep your voice down. That man has the ears of a hawk" Jean said as he covered Reiner's mouth with his hand. Everyone was quiet as they heard approaching feet. They let out a sigh at Marco entered the breakroom. "Hey....never mind" he turned around and walked back out. "That's cold Marco" Jean said quietly. "I don't blame him, I don't even want to mess around with that guy on patrol" Reiner groaned. He sat down next to Bertholdt, making the man eat his lunch before his break ended. "I just don't get it, how can someone be that evil?" Jean asked. "Easy, he's an ex," Annie said as she walked to the microwave. She stuck her hot pocket in and turned it on for a few minutes. "What's that supposed to mean?" Reiner asked.

 Annie cleared her throat, turning to them with a cold stare. "An ex is filled with nothing but disdain for their previous partner. Imagine, after breaking up you go to work and now hold the fate of your previous partner's job in your hands? You would be swallowed up by the immense power and go mad" she explained. All of the men stared at her in an eerie shock. The microwave beeped and she opened the door. "Or, at least that's what I would do," she said as she blew on her meal. Annie walked back out without any further comments. "My God, she is right" Jean groaned as he leaned against the counter. The ex-husband was obviously making their lives hell just to get back at their partner! "What a bastard! Why is he making us suffer too?" Reiner complained. "It's probably just to spite everyone," Bertholdt said as he finished his lunch. "Thanks, Reiner" he grinned to his partner. "Don't sweat it, but you need to eat. Forget what that guy says" Reiner frowned as he saw Connie dash by. "He's coming!" he hissed briefly before continuing on his way. Reiner, Bertholdt, and Jean gathered their stuff and quickly left the break room. Back on the floor, Eren was typing slowly. His eyes were glued to the keyboard as he hit one button at a time. His shoulders were stiff and his brow sweaty. "Erin, are you done yet? I need those papers soon" Armin called over the desk to him. "I'm trying but Brian said I type too loud" Eren explained. He tried to type a bit faster, but his keys began to click with each movement. "Jaeger! I thought I told you to keep it down!" a loud voice cut across the office. Eren jumped up from his table and stood at attention. "Sorry, sir! I'll be quieter sir!" he shouted before sitting back down. His head fell forward onto his keyboard and he groaned loudly. "Sorry, Eren..." Armin whispered sadly. "It's not your fault he has the ears that could hear a mouse fart" Eren sighed as he sat back up. The space bar was indented on his face, making his delete the extra spaces on his work. "It's like I don't even know how to type anymore" he groaned as he looked at the single sentence, he had worked on for the past 30 minutes. Brian would come over to his desk if he so much as yawned, telling him to hurry up but be quiet about it. "How are you holding up Armin?" Eren asked. "Oh, you know. Brian thought I worked too fast, so he gave me Sasha's work and has her cleaning the carpets. I've only just started the work for next quarter, but Brian insists it's better to be ahead" Armin prattled off as his vision began to tunnel. He reached for an energy drink to his right and tilted the can upward until the last drop fell into his mouth. "I can smell colors" he sighed as his eyes focused on the screen. Eren looked on in horror, the usually calm and collected Armin was now a nervous wreck. Eren would always get help from him as he finished his work early each day, but now Eren wanted to help Armin. "I'll take some of it off your hands, I can...uh.... write it out for you" Eren grabbed a stack of papers and began writing down the report rather than typing it. Armin could type it out later since he wasn't a loud.

 "Thanks, Eren. I don't want to stay late and have to wake you up to let me in again" Armin said in a shaky voice. He had only managed to sleep for five hours this morning before Eren woke him up to go to work. The two of them had staggered to the office and were immediately given a pile of work to deal with. That hadn't even been the worst of it, Mikasa who usually greeted them had been affected too. The woman usually was cool and stoic as nothing seemed to bother her. But that morning, she wore a cheerful smile and brought everyone coffee. "Hey guys, working hard or hardly working?" she laughed as she grabbed Eren's shoulders. Neither of her friends was able to respond right away. It was like she was a whole different person. "Uhh, working hard?" Eren said as he passed glances to Armin. "Mikasa, do you feel okay?" Armin asked. "Oh, Armin! You're so funny! I feel as good as the sun is bright. Brian was telling me that a cheerful mood brightens the workplace so I just thought a smile would help everyone better" Mikasa explained. As she said this, she took Eren's pen and wrote in his notebook. He read "HELP ME" written along the top of it. "R-Right...cheerful," he said quietly. "Well, I'm off to reorganize the permits. Brian said it was a real pigsty in there!" Mikasa gave the guys a thumbs up before speed walking off. As she passed Annie, she gave the woman finger guns. Annie simply stared at her in disbelief. She walked over to Eren and pinched the man's neck. "Annie! What the hell?!" he shouted. "Yeah, this isn't a dream. I need this Brian guy to hit the road so I can have my wife back" she said angrily. Annie took a long sip from her coffee as she glared at the office Brian was using. Currently, Levi had been busy with a national meeting and would only be in his office a few days out the week. While he was gone, Brian made himself comfortable in the office. Rearranging the desk and even bringing food in there as Levi had forbidden. Erwin had tried to stop him but as with everyone else, Brian had whipped him into place and did as he liked. He had even turned Ymir into a gopher, running her back and forth from other departments.

 Historia was putting a wet towel on Ymir's forehead while she downed a bottle of water. "That guy is like the if someone mixed raw concentrated evil with salt and limes" Ymir sighed as she fell into a chair. "The devil's margarita" Connie gasped. Ymir shot him a dirty look before turning to Historia. "Thanks, babe" she smiled tiredly. "Anytime honey" Historia kissed Ymir's cheek as she ran off to finish her work. Below them, Sasha was on her knees holding a pair of tweezers. "How am I supposed to clean the carpet with these?" she sighed as she picked out another crumb of granola. She dropped it into the small bag on her hip. "Why don't you use the vacuum?" Connie asked her. "Brian said it is a waste of power and since I am always behind, I can at least do this" Sasha sobbed. Even Levi never made her clean like this. "This is crazy man, how are we gonna get rid of this guy?" he groaned as he held his head in despair. "Good luck with that Connie, I'll make sure to redistribute your stuff to charity," Ymir said lazily. "H-Hey! I'm not gonna do it!" he argued. Sasha hugged his legs, crying loudly. "Please Connie! I don't wanna see another dust bunny again!" she bellowed. "I know, I know. But he is too scary!" Connie hugged Sasha as the two comforted one another. Just then, Marco dashed into the office. "Guys! Levi is coming!" he said in a panic. The entire office stopped, not a single person typed. Marco dashed to his desk and everyone held their breath as they tried to look normal. Their eyes darted between Levi's office and the front door.

 Hinge entered the office first, laughing loudly about something. She stopped as she spotted Sasha on the floor and Mikasa happily arranging a corkboard. "Good lord," she said quietly as she looked around. Levi walked up behind her, pushing her in the middle of her back. "Hange, what have I said about blocking the entryway?" he said in an annoyed voice. "Safety regulations, blah, blah. Just look" she said as Levi stepped around her. His eyes scanned the office without any emotion on his face. right away, he ran his finger along a file cabinet, noting the amount of dust that had accumulated. He walked over to Sasha, staring down at her. "Get up" he ordered her. Without even a breath, Sasha stood up and began shaking. "Get the vacuum and clean the floor properly," Levi said with a pointed glare. "Yes, sir!" Sasha took off running to the utility closet without looking back. Levi turned his gave to Eren and Armin, glaring at the large stack of papers on their desks. "Eren, stop playing with your keyboard and take half of Armin's work" he continued. Eren quickly scooped up the mess of papers and began typing loudly. Levi glanced at Ymir and Historia, not saying anything as he went to his office. He opened the door without knocking, earning a glare from Brian. "Where is Erwin?" Levi asked calmly. "He is out getting donuts, why?" Brian said back just as calmly. Everyone was still "working" while holding their breath. With Levi's absence, they had forgotten how much of an unstoppable force. It was like watching to lions facing off. "He should be here completing the month's summary, we have front desk employees that can get deliveries" Levi lectured the auditor as he walked slowly into the office. His eyes scanned every corner, noting each change Brian had made. "I see you have made a mess of my office" he continued. "A mess? I think I made it look better than before" Brian argued. Levi's eye twitched, obviously angered by the man's idea of "better".

 "It's still my office and since I am back, you can leave now," Levi said as he pointed to the door. "I don't think so, I still have plenty of work to do. As you may remember, I'm handling your office's audit" Brian stood up and held Levi's stare. No one said anything for a while, battling with just their eyes. Erwin came rushing through the door wearing a sweater tied over his shoulders like some golf club dad. "They ran out of chocolate dipped so I got chocolate glaze..." he trailed off as he saw Levi standing in the office. "Oh..." he began to back away, but Levi caught him by the sweater. "What the hell are you wearing?" he said in a low voice. Erwin wasn't sure how to respond, shrinking in his husband's presence. "He is wearing Royal Polo, it's fashion. You could learn a thing or two" Brian announced proudly. Levi turned back to Brian with a look of pure death. "That's it, you're coming with me" Levi dragged Erwin out and shut the door. He led everyone into the break room for a powwow. "Why the hell all are you all acting like whipped puppies?" Levi asked. "Brian is terrifying! We can't take it anymore!" Sasha cried loudly. "He made Sasha clean the carpet with tweezers for a whole week. A week!" Connie explained. "He took all of Jean and my bobbleheads. Even the limited editioned ones" Marco explained. "And he calls me bobblehead! I don't look like a bobblehead!" Jean said angrily. Mikasa's persona broke for a moment, allowing her to glare weakly. "He made me say 'totes', I can't even sleep at night without reciting Gossip Girl scenes," she said tiredly. "Levi, he broke my wife!" Annie said angrily. "Yeah, and he makes me run back and forth to relay info that he could just say over a call" Ymir joined in angrily. "He made me his secretary, I told him I was the head of archives, but he said I looked like a secretary" Historia reported. “Brian told me I was too big for the office and makes me work in the hall” Reiner growled. “Me too, he put me in the storage closet because I bloke his view of the office” Bertholdt added in.

 "It's worse than I thought, scratch that. Erwin's outfit is worse than I thought" Hange said. The man coughed, removing the sweater over his dress shirt. "I'm afraid even I can't stand up to him. He made me shave my beard since it was unsanitary" he explained. Levi's face was calm but everyone could sense the rage in him. They knew that Brian had crossed the line by altering how his husband looked. "This has gone on long enough. I'm calling in a favor" Levi said as he pulled out his phone. He dismissed everyone to go back to work as he talked on the phone. No one knew what he was planning as he cleared a table in the center of the office. Brian had walked out and looked around in mild confusion. "What is this?" he asked. Hange stood behind Levi, wearing a wild grin. "Welcome to the battle royale. Right here, right now. Operation soaring falcon is in its final stages" she announced. Levi sat down in one of the chairs as a large man entered the office. He was carrying a large gallon jug full of clear liquid. The man placed the jug on the table and shook hands with Levi. "Corporal" the man greeted him. "Swanson," Levi said back just as curtly. Everyone watched as Swanson pulled the cork off the bottle. "Ugh, what is that? It smells like Jet fuel" Sasha groaned as she covered her nose. "That's Swanson Family Mash liquor. Made from the finest corn ever grown on American soil. Its only legal use is to strip the varnish off of speedboats" Swanson explained. "It's time to settle this" Levi said as Swanson poured him a glass of the drink. "An old-fashioned prairie drink-off" Brian sighed as he removed his blazer. He took his own glass, holding Levi's stare. "If you win, the Trost Parks Department is yours. And if I win, you finish your audit with a perfect score and leave" Levi began. "Pour it, I'm thirsty" Brian challenged him. Levi and Brian took a shot of the liquor, closing their eyes as it burned down their throats. Everyone flinched despite not drinking it themselves. Another round down and neither batted a single eye. "Had enough?" Levi asked. "Of this watered-down baby formula? Not even close" Brian shot back with venom. By now, the entire office was watching things unfold. Neither party showed signs of getting even tipsy. Brian took another shot, burping after swallowing his glass. He began sweating, wiping it off and trying to pretend the alcohol wasn't hitting him quite yet. Levi held eye contact with him as he lifted the jug and chugged what was left of the liquor. "Oh my god" Connie gaped as Levi finished it with a loud sigh. "Game set!" Hange announced with a wild laugh. Levi rolled his eyes and looked down at Brian. "Now get out of my fucking department" he ordered him. Brian clumsily scrambled to his feet, gathering his stuff and stumbling out the door. Everyone began cheering and hugging each other. Levi closed his eyes, holding the bridge of his nose. "Everyone be quiet! Clean this place up and someone get me a cup of coffee" he shouted. Everyone was instantly quiet, shuffling around to fix the adjustments Brian had made them make in Levi's absence. Historia brought Levi a cup of coffee and he went back to his office with Erwin and Hange. Peace was restored in the Trost Parks Department and no one ever heard of Brian ever again.

[wat3r-w1tch]

Chapter 2

[word count: 2052]

Impuse was, frightened to say the least. Zed and him walked through a random nether portal, got dropped in the middle of nowhere and now he's holding a demon at sword point. His morning could have been doing a lot better. His fear only grew as he felt Zed's shivers and shakes through his grip. But he swore he would keep Zed safe, even if its the last thing he does.

Tango was a different case. He could barely hold in his excitement. His wings twitched as he quickly put his hand out to greet the humans.

"Hello! I can't believe this is happening, This is awesome!" 

Impulse jumped at the movement of the demon. He pushed his sword closer to the demon, Hoping that would keep him from getting any closer. Tango tilted his head and pushed the sword aside

"Do all humans use gold? Diamond is much better!"

Tango stood up and stretched. He proceeded to shake all the sticks and leaves from his body. Zedaph took a few steps back, Pulling impulse with him. This demon was, Very tall. The light elf gulped as he adjusted his sword again.

"N-no, i use gold because I like it! Wait- Who are you! What do you want with us?"

Tango stared at them for awhile before pushing impulses sword aside. He cheerfully put his hand out again, Flashing a huge grin

"Im Tango Christopher Tek! But please, Just call me tango! I've, Never seen humans before!" his tail swung behind him and he waited for the human to shake his hand. After a while without a response he gained a confused look.

"Is shaking hands not a normal human thing? You guys don't talk about do you? Man! Humans are so small!" he jumped from comment to comment, circling the two. Impulse was terrified. Why did this demon not care about the fact he was holding him at sword point?

"Well... Actually, We're elves..." Zedaph said in a soft voice. Impulse gently elbowed Zed in the chest. Tango halted his movement and his ears shot up.

"Really? That's even better! What are your names?" 

He went back to standing in front of the two. He bounced on his heels waiting for a response. When he didn't get one he thought of something

"Heh, I'm not going to hurt you, You do know that right?"

He watched as taller elf's stand softened. He was still gripping onto his sword but at least he wasn't pointing it at him anymore. The smaller one's grip on the other had been let go.

"I've, Been stuck in a city full of only demons forever! I've never been able to see humans, nonetheless Elves! When I made that portal thingy i didn't actually expect it to work!"

Impulse's ears shot up at the mention of the portal.

"Wait wait wait, Your the reason that random portal showed up in the nether?"

"Nether? Is that where those portals lead? I've never heard of that" He walked around the pair and went towards the portal. He reached his hand out to it and traces his fingers around the obsidian.

"Y-Yeah! Its a huge realm with tons of lava and these weird white monsters called ghasts!" Zed jumped up and started to explain what the nether was. Tango's eyes lit up. His wings started to flap as he ran back to them.

"That sounds so amazing! Please tell me more!"

Zed proceeded to go on about the mobs in the nether, such as the blazes and wither skeletons. Impulse quickly jumped in and went on about glowstone. Tango watched with wide eyes as the elves in front of him talked with their hands, watching when they would reach parts they were very passionate about. They rambled on for a few minutes before they stopped. Tango took a second to process all the information he just got.

“That’s… amazing!!! I would love you know more about the other realms ... uh… what’s your guys names?”

“Oh! Im Zedaph and this is impulse!” Zedaph grinned as his ears perked up.

“Nice! Also, if you both are elves, why do you both look so different?” He said gesturing his hands to zed’s ears and hooves. Impulse looked over to Zed, hoping that he’d be the one to answer. But when Zedaph gave him the same look, his eyes darted back to the demon and gulped.

“Ah, well. There’s multiple types of elves. Like me, for example! I’m a light elf! I basically have electricity surging through my body. I can power Redstone lamps and basic redstone circuits. And in certain situations i can give energy to plants!”

Tango looked so amazed, he didn't think that elves were capable of such things. “And Zedaph is a Nature elf. They take care of animals or plants! Depending on what they choose they will gain the same appearance as the thing they take care of! Zed takes care of sheep, and that gave him his ears and hooves! There’s a bunch more but we’re the only two examples here right now”

Tango clapped his hands and had a slight bounce in his movements. Tango went on and on about how amazing they were. He managed to lead them to a nearby spot in the forest that he had set up earlier. He sat down with them and talked for ages about whatever came to mind. Impulse didn't expect it to be this easy when talking to tango. He didn't feel any fear. The demon would mention a certain topic and both elves would jump on the train as if it was nothing. They rambled on for hours and hours, just bonding over the simplest of things. Then, as the sun started to set, Tango got up and stretched. “This was, Amazing!!! You guys are so cool!!! Maybe, if you want, we can meet back up here tomorrow?”

 Impulse gave a nervous smile, a gentle nod and gently shook the sleeping zedaph awake. He mumbled something into Impulse’s sleeve and softly snored.  He chuckled and moved to pick Zed up. Within moments Zed had latched himself onto Impulse like a baby koala.

“That.. would be nice tango… Thank you for letting us ramble with you” He chuckled has the demon’s wings flapped and tail swayed. The elf gave a wave to the demon before watching him disappear into the dark forest. Impulse shifted and moved the sleeping nature elf to a comfier position. He slowly walked back to portal with his thoughts racing. What had he gotten zed and himself into?

======================================================================= Tango grinned from ear to ear as he walked through the forest. Impulse and Zed were very fun to talk to. They seemed to really like him. The demon council were a bunch of liars, Humans- No elves are very nice! Tango’s ears twitched at the thought that he was going to get to see his new friends tomorrow. When the city came into sight he took a deep inhale and lowered himself. He slowly crawled till the gate was in front of him. He climbed a tree and started at the guards. He glanced at the moon and started counting. He had done this many times, this was nothing. As soon as the guards slipped away from the gate tango leaped down and crawled back into the city. He creeped around the back alley just so no one would see him. He was right next to his house when he ran into something. Or better yet, someone. He shuddered as he recognized the color of the clothing. Tango quickly stood up and shot his eyes above him.

“O-Oh… Hello Council Hastaur… Mighty fine to see you tonight… at my house… just as I get back from a walk…”

“Tango Christopher Tek, Do Not Lie to Your council” His voice was deep, Rough, and demanding. Hearing his full name in such a tone made his whole body shiver. Tango knew he had messed up. Usually it was Proserpine or one of the lower demon councils who’d show up at tango’s house. But no, It was Hastuar. He was the head of the council. He loomed over tango, His lime green eyes flaring in the dark.

“I-I would Never lie! How dare you even accuse me of such-” Tango quickly cut off his sentence as Hastaur let out a bone shaking growl. “What were you doing out of the city young man?” “I wasn't doing anything wrong i swear! I was just exploring! It gets boring in this city!” Tango’s wings were slowing wrapping around him. It was something he did when he was scared. Hastaur let out another growl and walked closer to tango. With one hand he opened up the bag on his hip and pulled out a book. He threw it into tango’s arms and He instantly recognized it. He knew he should have taken it with him. “They would you like to explain why this book is missing a page? And why multiple city folk saw you running through the library and main street like a mad man?” “Hastaur, Please! I can explain if you just let me-”

“Tango i swear to any of the demigod’s still out there, if you did Anything to put this city in danger, I will Have your Wings cli-”

Hastaur Cut off his sentence as he looked at the small demon. His wings were around his body, ears pinned down and his eyes flashed with fear. He took a step back and ran his hand across his face. “......Im, sorry Tango. I didn't mean to threaten that….. Listen, today has been long.” He sighed as he walked from the alley, gesturing tango to follow. Tango shivered and slowly followed. When they got in front of tango’s house, Hastaur looked at the smaller demon.  

“Three other council members were looking for you, and to find out that you had left the city…. It made them go overboard” Somehow, within a few minutes all anger from his voice had left. Hastuar’s voice was soothing and soft. He always tried his best to keep tango out of trouble, and to not scare him. He watched this demon grow up.Seeing anything happen to him would made Hastaur sick. He crouched down to be at eye level with tango.

“Tango i need you to listen to me. I try my hardest to keep you safe from the council, but you make that so Hard when you go around doing this! Had I not been the head of council, Your wings would already be clipped! I, I don't know how much longer I can defend you from them”

Hastuar gently put his hand on tango’s shoulder. He looked off to the side, still feeling bad about saying what he did earlier. “I need you to promise me something tango. You will stop all of these shenanigans. Promise you'll stop going behind the council's back and to not leave the city ever again"

Tango looked Hastaur in the eyes. He shifted uncomfortably under his grip and sighed. He gently nodded and to his relief, Hastaur let go of his shoulder. He stood up and stretched his wings. Tango yawned, eyes slowly trying to close.

"Alright Tango, Try and get some sleep. The council would like to talk to you tomorrow, So please be up by then"

And within a few seconds, Hastaur was already out of sight. Tango get out a shaky exhale. He hated lying to the demon council but he was gonna see impulse and Zedaph tomorrow, even if that meant not being able to come back. His mind raced thinking about the two elves, but soon all his trails of thought led back to the moments before. He didn't want to go to the council meeting, so he was gonna have to wake up early to avoid it. It was just going to be them yelling at him anyways. Nothing he hasn't heard before.

He walked into his house and threw his bag on the ground. He flopped down onto his bed and let out a loud groan. He quickly shuffled under his blankets and wrapped his wings around him. As he slowly started to drift asleep, he couldn't help but still feel a little bit of joy for tomorrow.

[thedrowsydoormouse]

@anangelamuse-castiel-spnfam asked and I shall deliver!

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My boyfriend. He took me to the mall for dinner and shopping after my therapy!

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Very shy but once you get to know me I’m a ball of chaotic energy!

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Right now no one.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I like to think I am.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

I would say my friend, Penny, but she’d probably be even more drunk than I am! So I think my friend, Daisy, or my boyfriend because they both have a background in medicine and would know what to do!

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? 

Cool people. And people who are unafraid to be nerdy about things they love!

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

I should hope so! Or else something went seriously wrong!

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

I keep mentioning my boyfriend but that’s only because he’s sitting right next to me and just stole a slice of pizza off my plate!

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Usually no! I’m very pro sex and pro discussing sex so it hopefully becomes less taboo and we can get some proper sex education.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My therapist. And I immediately broke the tension with a joke that made her laugh so hard she cried!

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

 “I’m done.” I was waiting for my ride to pick me up from the hair salon!

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Monster by dodie, My Kinda Lover by Billy Squire, Hallelujah by Pentatonix, Rolling in the Deep by Gretta Van Fleet, Bottom of the River by Delta Rae

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

It depends on the person.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Luck yes. Miracles no.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Technically it happened during summer (even though it happened in September but it was still Summer so it counts) but I met my boyfriend!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

100% yes! 

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

There has to be. It’d be weird if there wasn’t. It may not be life like we know it but there is some form of life out there.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No.

19. Do you like bubble baths?

I only take bubble baths!

20. Do you like your neighbors?

I hardly know enough about them to form an opinion.

21. What are you bad habits?

How much time we got?

22. Where would you like to travel?

I would love to go back to New York and to the Japanese Disney parks!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Yes.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Food. Beautiful amazing food!

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My back. I have two weird scar type things on it that look nasty and I try to hide.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Check the time an see if I can go back to sleep.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Any lighter and I would literally glow and any darker and I wouldn’t be able to pull off the goth look so effortlessly so I’d say I’m pretty happy with my skin!

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My close friends.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Several of them have tried getting back together after we broke up only to find I had already moved on.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

I am married.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

It’s down to about my waist so it’s be weird if I couldn’t pull it into a pony tail! The comfort of it, though, is a whole other issue!

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Margot Robbie and Brian Dietzen.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

No.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

*laughs until I’m crying*

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV. I need music to survive!

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

All the time.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

I usually crack a joke.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Smart, funny, amazing in bed!

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

They’re pretty much all online!

40. What do you want to do after high school?

I’m already out of high school.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Not everyone.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m distracted, people keep talking over me, or somethings seriously wrong.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

If it’s a kid or an old woman, yes. But never men.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Space. The ocean is terrifying.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Food. Or having to pee.

46. What are you paranoid about?

A lot of shit! I’m a nervous, panic-y mother fucker!

47. Have you ever been high?

Yes.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Yes.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Yes.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black.

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Nope! I love myself way too much!

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

Nothing!

53. Favourite makeup brand?

I’ve been wearing a lot of Blackmoon, Milk, and Lime Crime lately.

54. Favourite store?

Total Wines.

55. Favourite blog?

Mine!

56. Favourite colour?

Deep red.

57. Favourite food?

Sushi!

58. Last thing you ate?

I’m currently eating pizza! That is if my boyfriend stops stealing my slices!

59. First thing you ate this morning? 

I actually didn’t get a chace to eat until dinner when I had a BBQ chicken salad.

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Nope.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

I was suspended in middle school for writing a burn book.

62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope!

63. Ever been in love?

Yes! 

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

I was a junior in high school and I was talking with one of my friends during Winter Formal and neither of us had ever been kissed so I just said “then kiss me” so she did and we spent the rest of the night making out.

65. Are you hungry right now?

I’m eating right now.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Yes.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Neither.

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr.

69. Are you watching tv right now?

I’m listening to music.

70. Names of your bestfriends?

I have too many to list. I’d literally be here all night.

71. Craving something? What?

Pumpkin spice.

72. What colour are your towels?

I have a ton of towels and none of them match because I’m a human dumpster fire.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

As many as possible.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Yes.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

I have no clue.

75. Favourite animal?

Cats.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Black.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Dublin Mudslide from Ben & Jerry’s.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Hot Pink.

80. What colour pants?

Teal.

81. Favourite tv show?

I can’t pick just one!

82. Favourite movie?

See above!

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

The first one!

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls!

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Janice Ian!

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Bruce!

87. First person you talked to today?

My mom.

88. Last person you talked to today?

Not sure yet.

89. Name a person you hate?

Trump.

90. Name a person you love?

My boyfriend.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

See #89. 92. In a fight with someone?

Usually.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

I lost count.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

I love being comfy.

95. Last movie you watched?

Spaceballs.

96. Favourite actress?

Margot Robbie.

97. Favourite actor?

Does John Mullaney count.

98. Do you tan a lot?

Never.

99. Have any pets?

A chubby puppy named Zorro!

100. How are you feeling?

Pretty good!

101. Do you type fast?

Sometimes, depending on how long my nails are.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yes and no.

103. Can you spell well?

Sort of.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Not really.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

No.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes.

108. What should you be doing?

Nothing.

109. Is something irritating you right now?How long this is taking.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yes.

111. Do you have trust issues?

You’ve already asked this.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My friend, Sabrina.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

I hate them so I’m not putting them.

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes.

115. Do you play the Wii?

Not anymore.

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yes.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Yes.

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yes.

119. Favourite book?

I don’t really read that much anymore.

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

No.

121. Are you mean?

I can be.

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Only if you really didn’t have time to study and you don’t get caught. (Hint: hide the cheat sheet between you’re thighs or up your skirt so that way if you do get caught you can pin it on the teacher being a perv.)

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

I’ve never owned any so I have no clue.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes.

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yes.

126. Are you currently bored?

Yes.

127. What makes you happy?

Food.

128. Would you change your name?

Yes.

129. What your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius.

130. Do you like subway?

No.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

I mean i hope they like me or else my marriage is about to get very awkward!

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

You asked this one already.

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Tell me again about how it hurts Being awfully loud for an introvert 

  134. Can you count to one million?

I’ve never tried nor had the time to try.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

It’s my dad’s signature.

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Open just a crack.

137. How tall are you?

6′

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Mine is curly and I prefer curls.

139. Brunette or Blonde?

It depends on the person.

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter.

141. Night or Day?

Night.

142. Favourite month?

October.

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No but almost.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milk.

145. Tea or Coffee?

Tea.

146. Was today a good day?

Yes.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Neither.

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“Fuck it.” - Me 149. Do you believe in ghosts?

This is the 3rd repeat question.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

The only book I have near me is super tiny and doesn’t have 42 pages.