#maneskin fic

[pjisskullourful]

┊ 𝙀𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙮 𝘿𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 ┊

🐦Ethan × reader

NSFW🔥 filthy smutathon

° Ethan Torchio/female reader insert

° making premature ejaculation work for you & your boyfriend

wordcount::: 6,326

° commissioned by dat boi jace(@punk-gremlin)💋 always a great time being on the same wavelength as you [requests are open but commissions get priority- there are 2 fics in cue, secure your own spot right here]

° [ITA:] principessa: princess - amore: love

It had been an incredible date, this was proving to be the norm in your relationship with Ethan. You didn’t think he was capable of taking you on a subpar date, even if he tried.

You were eight dates in, and he was still impressing you - taking you to places that you could brag about visiting and giving you nights full of sparks. He gave you butterflies each time he picked you up and none of your meals had been marred by awkward silences.

Tonight had seen you dining at a recently-opened seafood restaurant. Because it was so new, it was hard to get reservations, but his notable name got you into places without a fuss. Seafood was a favourite food that you shared, both of you intrigued by almost everything on the menu. This was more low-key than some of the other dates he had taken you on (axe throwing had been especially memorable). But that didn’t make it any less interesting. You had enjoyed getting to hear so many stories from his childhood trips to Costa Rica - a country you had never visited.

Everything had been so perfect. But by the time you arrived back to his place, you were pretty much done with keeping your hands to yourself. You were tired of (bordering on bored) being polite and acting according to society’s rules. This behaviour went against what you wanted. You wanted to get to the real main event of the night - him. All of the food had been delicious, but what was going to keep you buzzing into tomorrow was him and that amazing body.

Being back in his luxurious apartment had you inundated by memories of thrilling conclusions to other nights. They were recent and powerful, getting you to the point of practically salivating over experiencing more of that Heaven he could take you to.

Luckily for you, he was under no false pretences of why you were here. He didn’t waste your time pretending that you were here for a night cap or to see any souvenirs from Costa Rica.

You quickly found yourself in the master bedroom, your lipstick making a mess of his face and neck as he held your body close. Held up against the wall, you were kissing him with all of the enthusiasm that you had been keeping a lid on. Your hands had found their way into the open collar of his button-down, while his hands were pushing up the hem of your dress. You couldn’t recall who had started it, but you were immensely enjoying the steady grinding your bodies had set into.

You separated from his mouth, whimpering a little in response to the rising passion. “Mmn, I wanna fuck you.”

He paused, leaning back enough so that he could look you over with a furrowed brow. “Really, that’s what you want to do now that we're here?” You nodded, eagerly licking your lips. “I thought I was gonna turn the lights down so that we could share spooky stories.”

You laughed and gave his solid shoulder a shove. “Ethan…”

“What? I’m genuinely surprised that’s not what we came in here to do.” He said before dropping the farce. He showed you his more serious side, pinching your chin with his fingers to keep you looking at him. “I wanna fuck you too.”

You were smiling as he came in, initiating more kisses. But you didn’t let yourself get entirely carried away by this - not while you had an important point to make. “I mean that you don’t have to eat me out…”

This time he looked at you with sincere confusion. “But I like to- I love eating your pussy. Do you not like it? Did I go too hard or something last time? Because you can tell me to change anything at any time. I just really love making you feel good like that. I’ll do it any way you like-”

To silence him, you put one of your hands over his lipstick-smeared mouth. “It’s perfect, there is absolutely nothing wrong with how you eat pussy. I have no notes for your technique ‘cause there’s no part of it that I don’t enjoy. If there were such a thing- I’d give you an award for how great you are at it.

“But I just thought that for tonight, we could go straight into the fucking. You eat me out every single time. Maybe we could try things a bit differently tonight.” You said.

You weren’t prepared to see uncertainty on his face, but he nodded all the same. “Yeah, of course, we can try anything you like.” He briefly kissed you. “All that matters to me is that you come.”

“Well, are we gonna talk about it for the rest of the night, or are we gonna do it?” You asked.

He smiled as he lowered his centre of gravity slightly and relocated his hands to the backs of your thighs. He gripped you here, fingers digging into your skin as he lifted you off of the ground. You wrapped your arms securely around his neck as your heart began racing. Without a single second of trepidation or unsteadiness, he carried you over to this bed. You were invigorated by the ride, stealing a couple of kisses from him as he crossed the room.

You didn’t release your arms from around him, so when he lowered you to the bed, he was pulled down as well. You kissed him more as he laid down on top of you. You lifted your legs from the mattress and wrapped them around his waist, tensing them so as to keep him securely in place. After a whole night of holding back, you had a lot of time to make up for.

Your bodies fitting comfortably together, he started to grind on you again. You reached your hands into his loose hair as you enjoyed this friction. He buried his tongue into your mouth as his hands gripped your back, making you feel so wonderfully secure. Your cheeks rushed with heat as you noticed something below the waistband of his pants digging into you. You were still fully clothed, but the promise of nudity and more already had him erect. It was so flattering, just another testament of how into you this unbelievable man was.

A brief pause was taken so that you could each get undressed and he could grab a condom. He asked if there were any specific positions that you were craving. You didn’t care if it made you seem vanilla, you said missionary - ready to be obsessed with, knowing there was nothing more erotic than seeing him on top of you.

He turned down your offer of helping to apply the condom. So you just got comfortable on his bed, keeping your legs parted as you laid your head down on the pillow. As you took this opportunity to admire his body, you noticed him doing the same to you.

Then he began to get into position, filling the available area between your thighs. He braced himself with his hands on the pillow as he moved in closer than before. He appeared to be putting some concentration into this, his brow furrowed to go along with the serious expression he now wore.

Meanwhile you couldn’t help but smile, knowing that there was nowhere better than your current position. Your fingers played with his cascading hair, refusing to allow it to hide his handsome face at all. As you ran your fingers through the long locks, you found the singular plait that started at the nape of his neck and you wound the thin plait around your pointer finger. This was his ‘secret’ plait, not there for any particular reason. You had to be very close to even know of its existence - there was something so intimate about that, making you appreciate it more, giving it significance.

“Principessa.” He said, the pet name always made you feel precious. That was especially true now as he started to bury his dick into you.

You relished the feeling of your cunt stretching to accommodate him as he came in even closer - you were ready to feel him as close as possible. Your heart was consistently racing now, each time you were daunted by the size of him, needing an opportunity to settle in. But it did nothing to dampen your excitement and you could hardly wait to explore everything that took you from daunted to satisfied beyond belief.

That serious look remained on his face and you assumed he was worrying over hurting you. You took it upon yourself to show him how much you were enjoying yourself. You kept one hand playing with his hair, while you wrapped an arm around his shoulders, easing his chest closer to yours. You lifted your head, getting close enough to cover his mouth in enthusiastic kisses.

At first he couldn’t quite keep up with you, his breathing somewhat laboured between kisses. Then his mouth was responding more, it seemed that his focus was shifting and the two of you began to find a synergy. All the while, he was moving deeper into you and you expressed your appreciation by kissing him harder.

You chased greater proximity by wrapping one of your legs around his waist. You worked your hips, eagerly pumping yourself closer to him. As you further explored the fun to be had with your current range of movement, you swiped your tongue at his lips.

Instead of letting you into his mouth, he was breaking the kiss altogether. His head somewhat slumped, mostly falling out of your field of vision. For the moment you placed your concentration on mastering your movements.

On top of you, you could feel his uncontrolled shivering. He met each of your hip snaps with his own powerful yet unpredictable movements. These thrusts were accompanied by his heavy breathing, the occasional moan falling from his lips to denote his efforts. On either side of your head, his hands were curled into tight fists and you admired the way his muscular arms bulged as they framed you.

You felt him letting you take the lead and you sought for a maintainable pace. You gained almost all of his length into your cunt, enjoying this with your continuing rocking.

“Yes, Ethan.” You whimpered as his reckless movements invited new sensitivities into your body. “Give it to me.”

“Oh.” He gasped, following his hips slamming into yours.

Shakily, he rocked himself back again. But you were quickly thrusting yourself forward, your pussy greedy for more spellbinding stimulation. You pushed his hair back from one side of his face, instantly revealing the expression he wore, almost frowning, with deep lines all over his features. It was a look you had seen before, when the two of you had had a Netflix and Chill date, watching the documentary Our Father together. You hadn’t seen it mid-fuck before and you weren’t sure it suited the scenario.

You endeavoured to kiss it off of his face. You started on his cheek, kissing across his cheek, towards where his mouth was hanging open. He didn’t respond much, seemingly too caught up in the reactions he was gaining from your rutting.

You pushed your lips against his, but you couldn’t follow this up with anything more. He was soon turning his face away, it was only slightly, but you noticed it all the same.

You tried to not apply any meaning or emotions to it, just trying again. He dodged you again, a bit more noticeably this time around. His eyes were squeezed shut and with his face slightly turned from yours, it was almost like he was avoiding this connection with you. So much for not applying meaning to his actions…

“Ethan, is something wrong?” You asked, feeling a bit too vulnerable for your liking.

He paused, falling out of the pacing that you had been slowing. “Huh? No, I’m fine…”

You didn’t care for this answer, and he still wasn’t looking at you. “Are you sure? The vibe is kind of off.”

He stopped moving altogether, letting out a shaky sigh. “I’m just trying not to come.”

“What? Why? What are you talking about?” You asked, this abrupt change almost totally throwing you out of your mood.

He finally opened his eyes to look at you. “Do we really have to talk about this right now?”

“Yes.” You said, cupping his face in your hands. “I don’t want you to hold anything back from me, especially not while we’re fucking.”

He pulled out, rocking his weight back onto his knees to create some distance between you. “I have this thing where I always come super fast. Prematurely, some might say. And it’s really disappointing for the woman. I didn’t want that to happen ‘cause you’re not close, not even a bit. Am I right?”

You sat up. “Well, yeah but-...”

“I really like you and the last thing that I want is to let you down in any way.” He said and you were grateful when he let you hold his hand with yours. “I don’t wanna be a shit lay for you, I’m trying really hard not to be because you deserve the best. You deserve to not have someone come so fucking fast that it’s over before you really get to enjoy yourself. You deserve someone with the right amount of stamina to live up to your expectations. And I’m trying to be that-...”

You silenced him by crawling over to place yourself in his lap, instantly wrapping an arm around his shoulders. You put your hand to his cheek so you could direct him to look at you. “My only expectation is for us to have fun together. And if you having fun means you come quickly, then come quickly, amore.”

“You say that now, but it’s-”

“I say it ‘cause I mean it.” You said, leaning in closer so that he had no choice but to meet your eye - you had never seen him this insecure before. “Actually, it’s kinda hot. Some people have these strong poker faces when it comes to sex, it’s impossible to tell if they’re having a good time or not. But you’re so honest with how much you love it that you can’t even hold back, you can’t wait to come and hit that highest high.

“It’s sexy to know that I can drive you so wild like that.” You took the opportunity to press a soft kiss to his mouth. “Will you let me drive you wild?”

“Are you sure it’s not a turn off?” He asked.

You changed how you were sitting on him, moving so that you could straddle him and push more of your body against his. “The opposite. I think it would be physically impossible for you to do anything that could turn me off.” You were pleased when he let you kiss him some more, finally beginning to kiss you back. “Can I show you how much it turns me on?”

“If you’re sure about-...”

You cut him off and with your hands on his shoulders, you began to push him down. “No more expectations. Get out of your head and just be here with me, Ethan.” You got him down on his back. “Come when you wanna and let’s have fun with each other’s bodies.”

You didn’t think he looked entirely convinced, your words wouldn’t be enough to dismantle his insecurities at once - especially because this seemed like more than just a passing anxiety.

But he didn’t have any further arguments against your points, and this was good news to you. The good news continued when, upon laying your body on top of his, you discovered that his erection hadn’t gone away. You wrapped your hand around it, pleased to find he was still in an aroused state, similar to you.

As you kissed him, you started to stroke your hand up-and-down his shaft. He kissed you back, helping you release the worry that he might not be into this. Now you could put your concentration on feeling his body’s reactions, which were so exciting that you were soon finding yourself firmly in the mood again.

He didn’t ask you to slow down, instead he was holding you tighter as he kept up with your kisses. You braced yourself with your knees on the mattress as you repositioned your hips. You kept stroking him as you directed his head towards your awaiting pussy.

You felt him suck in a quick breath when you started to bury his cock inside of your cunt. There was that moment of being daunted again, but nothing was going to deter you. You let the greediness inspire you.

“Oh…” He moaned as he broke away from the kiss.

Your clenching walls were taking in more of his length and you could hear him thoroughly losing his breath again. You kept easing yourself down, wanting to get back to what both of you had been enjoying earlier.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” You said, waiting for that moment when you felt his body relax.

There were a few soft kisses shared. But the majority of your focus went to discovering how your bodies could move together in this new position. He let you take the lead again and your eager grinding on him developed into bucking. You worked your hips, so happy to give into the rush of desires.

You were still so worked up (the sensitivities in your pussy had hardly faded away during that little discussion/intermission), each collision invigorating you more and you didn’t hesitate to increase your speed. You found a consistent pace to stroke yourself up-and-down his erection, gaining more thrilling stimulations for yourself as he writhed beneath you. Your cunt stretched accordingly, letting you pursue everything that could come from these quick movements.

With his hair splayed out on the bed around his head, you could enjoy an uninterrupted view of his face. He held his eyes shut and although some frown lines were still visible, his expression wasn’t as extreme as before. He had lost some of his seriousness as he resisted far less.

“It’s okay, amore.” You said as you felt more of his body responding.

His hands took on the appearance of claws, his fingers digging into you as he held you so tight. You could feel the need in him, especially in his enthusiastic responses to your bucking. And it made you want to give him more.

His hips jutted up into you, not always matching your timing. But you didn’t allow this to throw you off of your momentum because it felt so promising. You tensed your thighs against his hips and gave him back the energy that he showed you.

As you mercilessly pushed one another up to that edge, there were moments of synchronisation. These impacted you much deeper, noises falling from your lips as you felt these true threats to your composure. But they were few and far between. With his thrusting so unpredictable, you couldn’t capture them for yourself, leaving you unable to unlock that greater pleasure.

He left all control behind, whimpering through his constant, yet inconsistent movements. Until, with one final snap of his hips, he captured the peak for himself, quickly disappearing over the edge.

You couldn’t enjoy watching what the orgasm did to him. Because he was swiftly taking his hands off of you so that he could cover his face with them. He groaned into his hands as he fell back to the mattress, his body slumping.

You stilled yourself, letting this moment be all about him as you stroked his chest. “It’s-”

“You weren’t even close, were you?” He asked, interrupting you.

“It doesn’t matter to-”

“All my ex-girlfriends hated it. I didn’t want to embarrass myself like this in front of you.” He said and his disappointment was clear.

You put your fingers around his wrist but he wasn’t going to let his hands be taken from his face so easily. “Ethan, why are you embarrassed? I like it, this is what I wanted. I’m really into it. I’m so happy that you came for me, can’t you be happy too? I mean, it did feel good, didn’t it?”

He lowered his hand, looking at you with one eye. “Of course it did. I wouldn’t have come if your pussy didn’t feel so amazing.” You smiled at that, wanting to hear more - not just for the benefits to your ego, but because he was sounding less miserable now that you were on this topic. “You left me with no choice. Especially with you on top like that- fucking spectacular.”

“Spectacular?” You repeated.

“Yeah, I would say that’s the correct way to sum it up.” He said.

“Good, I wanna make you feel spectacular.” You said. “You really have no idea how hot it is that you want me so bad you can’t hold off.”

He took his other hand off of his face so that he could stroke your arm. “Well you’re fucking sexy.”

“So are you, Ethan. So are you.” You said, leaning in and kissing him a few times. “And it has nothing to do with expectations or stamina, or any other shit. You just are and you turn me on so much, so stop wasting my time being embarrassed.

“You must be very sensitive.” You said of his dick, still nestled inside of you. “Do you want me to get off?”

“No. I mean, yes, but no.” He said. “Yes, I am sensitive, really sensitive. But no, you don’t need to move off. Obviously you can if that’s what you want. But don’t worry about me when you’re making your decision. If this is how you want to come, then by all means, stay put.”

“It kind of sounds like you’re encouraging me to use your body.” You said.

“Oh, absolutely, I am.” He said, nodding his head.

You grinned as you began to sit up, rocking your body weight down towards your pelvis. “I’ll use you, I’ll use you to make me feel so fucking spectacular.”

“Amazing, that’s exactly what I want.”

You gained your balance and slid yourself further down his shaft. He was done with hiding his face, now his eyes were wide and watching every single thing that you did. You loved his attention, you didn’t shy away from it, too elated for shame. You could see the admiration in his eyes and it was so clear that he was out of his negative headspace, able to enjoy himself now. That made you swell up with pride.

You started to ride him. “I’m gonna use you so hard.”

“Yes.” His voice was quieter now and he put his hands to your hips.

You grinned, you were truly bordering on cocky now. “I’m gonna treat you like one of my toys.”

He bit into his bottom lip, but this did nothing to contain the moan he was making. Watching his eyelids flutter, your face lit up. A blush began coming into his cheeks - this one was meant to be celebrated.

“You like that idea, huh?” You said and he nodded, still appearing slightly bashful. “I like it too.” You put more power into your next swing forward, getting ready to abandon all restraint. “Come on, be a good toy and make me come.”

“Yes.” He said with another moan as you kept moving. “Yes, that’s all I want.”

You were confident in your movements, locking into the need that was so present. You could feel yourself elevating from the tingles that had been populating your body while he captured his orgasm. They had felt good, but you knew there was more you could claim, prompting you to drive yourself harder into him.

You were ready to work yourself to the explosions that would overshadow the tingles altogether. You didn’t struggle to find the right momentum and you put all of your effort towards rutting into him, as quickly as you needed. You were no longer daunted, settling into the ideal speed.

You felt him writhing beneath you, leaving his embarrassment behind as he grinded to meet your persistent pounding. Upon viewing his body from this new perspective, you couldn’t help thinking that you had found a sight more erotic than being beneath him. The power that you felt went directly to your head, wanting to intoxicate you. As you watched his every reaction (they were getting bigger, less restrained), it made you hunger to uncover what else you could draw out of him. How would he feel when you controlled him more?

“Can I rub that clit?” He asked through his laboured breathing.

“Yes.” You answered at once. “Hell yes, baby.”

He propped himself up with his elbows and his gaze went down to your cunt. He reached a hand out, coming at you with his index finger extended. He pushed this between your labia majora, getting at where your clit was already swollen from the surge of blood into this concentrated area. He rubbed the tight bundle of nerves lightly, moving his finger gently up-and-down.

“I miss how it tastes.” He said, playing his finger in a swirl around the hood, before taking it away.

His eyes moved back to your face as he placed the finger into his mouth. You maintained eye contact, fascinated by the way he licked this moisture off of his digit. There was something so seductive in how he was looking at you, letting you enjoy the connection that had been lacking earlier.

Your chest expanded, so full of anticipation, when he returned his finger to your clit. He worked it over with more pressure, maintaining contact and giving you something you could truly sink into.

The intensity was immediate, reaching deeper than his touch. It radiated out, shudders that went straight to your core, where the greatest pleasure could be unlocked.

With the tension increasing inside of you, your walls gripped to him tighter. Your hips gave an excited, unexpected stutter forward. Instead of trying to get back to your momentum, you embraced this new, quicker rhythm. You pummelled into him, giving yourself no time for recovery as the excitement bubbled up, more with each circle his finger completed.

“I- ah, ah…” He gasped, leaning back again. “I think I’m gonna come ah-again…” His hips moved to their own desperate rhythm. “Yep, I’m gonna-gonna, I’m gonna...”

“Yes, yes, do it for me, Ethan.” You said.

He gave a loud whimper to greet his next climax, then fell back entirely. His eyes were shut but no attempts were made to cover his face and you watched how he reacted, the expression on his face relaxing. There weren’t any of the earlier hints of worry, this was clearly a state of bliss.

Even though it appeared that he was tired, ready to just concentrate on his afterglow - he didn’t stop rubbing your clit. This kept you feeling those shudders and it made you unwilling to stop. You eagerly continued working yourself on his dick, still gaining the benefits of this unrelenting tempo.

You were soon in a frenzy, your whole body lit up with powerful stimulations. Your hips snapped endlessly forward and each collision let you feel those shudders harder.

You chased as they became cracks in your composure. Then they were bursting you open, incredible explosions gripping your body. You threw your head back, vocalising your triumph as you got lost in the lust.

You were joyful in your release and you stayed at this height. Beyond your control, and with limited coordination, you continued to move. You were still jackhammering your hips because this momentum was too rewarding to abandon yet, even as the fatigue wanted to creep in.

He came back into your awareness by springing up and wrapping his arms around your body. He was still moving as well, invested in his own pacing. You could feel the reckless nature of his bucking, sacrificing getting his breath back for this rhythm. You wrapped your arms around him, knowing you weren’t in the right state to give him much more - matching him was truly beyond your current capabilities.

“Oh, God…” He moaned, his hot face pressed into your neck. “Oh God, guh-ung. I’m- I’m… ah!”

He almost threw you off with his next energetic spasm, but there was nothing after that. The two of you fell into inactivity, clinging to one another through this quiet.

“Did you… again?” You asked.

“Yeah.” He said with a little chuckle. “When does the amount of orgasms get ridiculous?”

“I don’t think there’s a strict rule on that.” You said, running your fingers through his hair. “I asked you not to hold back, and- I guess you’re really enjoying this pussy, eh?”

He leaned back so he could look up at you. “So, so, so, so much.”

You stroked the hair away from his sweaty face, admiring the look he wore. “Maybe I should stay where I am?” His instant response was to tighten his arms around you. “I was thinking about how crazy sensitive you must be, so it seems like the right thing to do- to climb off and give you a chance at recovering.”

He persistently shook his head. “Uh-uh, I don’t want you to move off. I wanna keep you right here, if you’ll let me.”

“Wow, you like this pussy a lot, huh? It’s like you can’t get enough of it.” You said, the flattery glittering in your veins.

“Not yet.” He said and you noticed that he had gently started to thrust again. It was so subtle that you could have missed it, absolutely nothing like his earlier vigour. But the intention was definitely there - he was still so hard inside of you.

“How can you still be so needy?” You asked.

He leaned in closer, lining his mouth up with yours. “You just feel so, so good.”

You smiled after he kissed you. “You need this pussy, don’t you?”

He nodded and you hoped the obedience in his gaze would remain for a while because you weren’t done enjoying it and the way it made your heart flutter.

“Yes, I do.” He answered in a quiet voice.

You kissed him and his pumps were getting to be more persistent. Your hot body rubbed on his, all of these tantalising sensations were the perfect chaser to your orgasm. It wasn’t about pushing yourself to match him, it was about letting him work out the rest of this energy.

Chest-to-chest, you remained sitting on top of him. Your thighs squeezed at his hips as he bucked up into you.

“Do you think you’ve got another one in you?” You asked.

His building pace didn’t falter. “Let’s find out.”

With his eyes shut, he totally missed the way you were staring at him. You couldn’t help it, you loved everything about how he looked right now. It was an infatuation deeper than anything you had experienced before as you felt privileged to behold him in this state. He continued to hold nothing back - something important had been conquered here tonight.

You shifted on top of him as you felt some of his impacts shaking your core. It wasn’t consistent, but it was very enticing each time it happened. It had you starting to lose your breath before you initiated the next kiss. As he took the lead with these movements, he let you take the lead with kissing and soon your tongue was in his mouth.

This endless give and take between your bodies was intoxicating, you understood why he wanted to indulge in it some more.

You felt yourself clenching up again, whimpering against his mouth a little. With more energy coming back to you, you began to think about the possibility of coming with him. You were taken with the idea at once and your hand curled into a fist around his hair as you picked up your own tempo. You didn’t know if a moment so perfect was likely to happen, but you chased it with hungry pumps.

As your lungs burned for air, your mouth left his so that you could just rest your head against his. You let all of your effort go down to your throbbing pussy, which probably wasn’t going to be getting a break soon. You did your best to meet his wild jackhammering.

“Oh, oh, oh…” He let out a choked sob.

Your other hand went into his hair as well, needing something to grip as you found yourself riding that edge again. You wound that thin plait around your finger, unable to resist the urge to tug on his hair a little.

“Ah, ah… here I- yes, fuck, fuck.” He panted, writhing up into you one final time.

Almost immediately after this he was pulling away. You realised that your chance for another climax was gone, but you accepted this as okay, you still had plenty of wonderful sensations swarming your system - the next best thing to an orgasm. There would be opportunities to match him orgasm-for-orgasm in the future. Right now you didn’t want to push him further into exhaustion for something that might not happen, so you lived vicariously through his release.

It hadn’t been enough to just pull out, he had taken it upon himself to reposition entirely. Gasps and other incoherent sounds narrated his every movement. He got himself turned around and to where he could lay his head down on the pillow.

“Oh, I think- I overdid it.” He said. “Holy shit, my cock is too sensitive to be alive right now. Shit… I have never come that many times at once before.”

“Really?” You asked as you eased yourself up closer to him, not wanting to make him feel crowded straight away.

His eyes drifted over to you, but they weren’t entirely focused. “Yeah, four fucking times, that’s crazy.”

You couldn’t help but stroke the inside of his thigh. “This pussy is the only one that can make you come so fucking much, eh? See, we can still have fun. You just have to be open to new experiences.”

His eyes looked a little glassy as he watched you lay down next to his body. “I can’t believe how cool and okay and adaptive you’re being about all of this.”

“Well start believing it, baby.” You said, caressing across his forehead. “I’m not going to let anything keep me from enjoying you as much as possible. I meant every word that I said, Ethan- this is hot as Hell to me.”

“You’re amazing.” He said.

You gave his chest a playful poke. “No, you are amazing. And there’s not a single thing about yourself that you should feel embarrassment over.” You treasured the look on his face, knowing that your words were having an actual impact on him. “So, is that why your technique is always to start with cunnilingus? You wanna get me all worked up and happy, and then I’m so excited about my orgasm that I don’t notice how quote-unquote early yours is?”

“Kinda. But I do genuinely love doing it, and seeing how it’s been working for us has made me wanna keep doing it.” He said.

“Relax, it’s not mandatory. We can have sex any which way, we can experiment with anything you want.” You said. “I don’t want you to feel pressured to do things a certain way. You don’t have to do anything extra ‘cause you just being you is amazing enough for me.”

He smiled. “You’re being so sweet and romantic and making me feel so good by saying all of the right things. But I- I actually have nothing to say back. I hope that doesn’t make it sound like I don’t care, ‘cause I do. It’s just- literally all I can think about is that my brain is as drained as my balls.” You couldn’t help but giggle at that. “Is that bad, does that kill the mood? I just really, super overdid it.”

“It’s okay, I promise. I wasn’t saying those things to prompt you into saying anything back, I just wanted you to hear them, you deserve to hear them.” You said. You gave him a kiss on the forehead before you sat up. “You also deserve some water, which I’m gonna go get for you, my little cum-drunk angel.”

You didn’t require his guidance to find your way around the apartment. You fetched a glass and began filling it with chilled water. You weren’t lamenting the way that orgasm had slipped beyond your grasp at seemingly the last second. You were too busy celebrating all the good things that had happened, leading to this strictly positive resolution.

As you walked back to the bedroom, your mind did start to wander. You were thinking about other things you could try out sexually, now that he was willing to break out of his rigidity. What else could you do to pull him even further out of his shell? Surely there was something you could do that would lead him to more moments of feeling obedient - because this was a side you were truly excited to explore.

You didn’t get the chance to share any of these thoughts with him. Upon arriving back to the bedroom, you found him asleep. He didn’t rouse, not even as you sat down on the mattress beside him. You drank the water, feeling perfectly content as you admired him, caressing his smooth forehead from time-to-time.

“If we keep this up, maybe I’ll fuck all of those insecurities out of you.” You said and you leaned down, kissing him on the  cheek. His head turned slightly in your direction, but his eyes remained shut. You laid down, wrapping your arms snugly around him as you soon joined him in slumber.

»»————-　♡　————-««  

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[wonderlandishell]

The middle of adventure, such a perfect place to stop

Victoria De Angelis/Ethan Torchio

Friends with Benefits / Friends to Lovers / Genderqueer Character / Coming Out / Angst / Pegging / Blood Kink

“You two should just fuck each other. Easier that way,” Thomas giggles. When three blank stares pin him down, he holds his hands up. “What! That’s the truth, that would get rid of much of the problems, and you already know you’re compatible. I’m not telling you to actually do it!” “Don’t give them stupid ideas,” Damiano finishes his coffee with an air of finality and stands from the table.

Read on ao3

[nonvaleniente]

From Fx to a D // Professor Damiano AU! x Fem! Reader

Pairing: Damiano x reader

Summary: Y/N was never good at learning foreign languages. It got even harder when the most handsome man she has ever seen started teaching her Italian class and got her distracted all the time. He seemingly noticed her interest in him and one trip to the library lead into something more interesting...

Warnings: SWEARING, SMUT, PUBLIC SEX, UNI TEACHER-STUDENT RELATIONSHIP, PROBABLY INCORRECT ITALIAN WORDS/PHRASES (I used Google translate because I am too embarrased to ask my italian learning friends to help me with smut lol), ALSO BARELY PROOFREAD BC I AM STUPID AND NEED TO RUSH THINGS

Y/F/N - your friend's name

Y/L/N - your last name

IT IS FINALLY HERE!

Yes, I promised it would come out on Monday but I literally cannot grasp the concept of time. Managing it is really something I need to work on. But I hope no one is that mad at me. Now, let's enjoy this trip to horny-town, shall we?

ENJOY!

Don't forget to leave any sort of feedback and reblog if you like it!

You couldn't keep your eyes off him.

You weren't able since the first day of last semester. When he walked through the door, his messy hair and white shirt with few buttons undone on the top, you knew you were screwed. He looked like a roman god. Straight out of historical romance novels. The perfect little stubble showing on his face made your mind wander off many times. Wondering, how would it feel scratching against your thighs, with him between them. Oh, how many nights you thought about him leading you to the professors' lounge and after closing the door, slamming you against them and not having any mercy.

You had no chance.

You had to keep reminding yourself to get out of these little daydreams. To actually pay attention to his words, you had to fight yourself every Tuesday afternoon. You were never that good at Italian and ever since this distraction in a human form walked into your life, it got even harder. Hell, if some higher powers weren't in your favour, you probably would have been out of this school already. But to have the chance to keep looking at this man, that was a motivation for you to at least pass.

The silence all around pulled you out of your thoughts. Upon realising that everyone was staring your direction, you turned your head up. There he was, looking at you. Patiently waiting for your answer to the question he had previously asked.

After a few seconds, which felt like eternity, he gave you a smile and moved on to get the answer from someone else. You started blushing from the embarrasment. Your friend sitting next to you noticed and playfully hit you with her elbow, while raising a brow at you. She obviously knew about this little crush and always made jokes about how the two of you should just get a room already. You always rolled your eyes, knowing deep down thats what you wish for.

The next round of questions started and you saw your teacher going down the line, all of your classmates answering one by one. When you knew it would be your turn next, your heart began racing.          You were quickly counting through the questions, to see which you would have to answer, so you wouldn't embarass yourself even more.

„Signorina Y/L/N, domanda numero 6, perfavore.“

He set his hand on the table in front of you, supporting his body weight as he was leaning a little bit. Tattoos peaking from under his rolled sleeves, you had to push away the sinful thoughts once again.

You looked up at him, trying not to stumble over your words.

„Domanda numero 6? La ri-risposta corrette è b: il fiume,“ you quickly got out of yourself, while feeling the sweat dripping down your body.

„Corretta, not corrette, Y/N, otherwise, good enough,“ he switched to english now, and you earned yourself another sweet smile from him. You were glad that you finally got something right but also that the torture was almost to be over for another week or so.

After Y/F/N answered her question, he decided to finish the lesson, as an hour and half already passed.

„Alright guys, let's wrap it up. You dont get any homework, as there is going to be the test I already told you about next week, so you better study hard,“ he paused, as  everyone started getting up from their chairs already, making a lot of noise as they were packing up their belongings.

„And...,“ he raised his voice.

„...don't forget to lend the book Compiti Italiani 2, it can seriously help you.“ He finished the class by picking all of his books up, walking towards the door.  He let everyone pass through, before walking out of the class himself.

You and Y/F/N said your goodbyes and each went different ways. Yours lead to the library.

Your teacher semeed to be following the same path.

//

Upon arriving to the library door, you noticed that it seemed to be closed. You couldn't see people moving inside, not even the librarian. It seemed quite unusual that the library would be closed at this time, it was usually opened everyday until 18:00. It was barely 16:00.

You shook the handle and checked for the opening hours sign, just to be sure.

The sign was showing exactly what you thought.

It was still closed though.

You weren't happy about the situation but there was nothing you could do, so you decided to go home. As you turned away, you started rambling through your tote bag. It was always full of things and you could never find your wireless headphones. You were slowly walking, crunched to the side, still picking on random things, to find the plastic box. As you took a few more steps, you noticed a figure in front of you.

Upon turning your head up, you noticed your handsome italian professor standing there. He was playing with a set of keys, turning them at their hoop around his fingers.

„Exemplary student, I see. Running to borrow the book I mentioned straight after the class,“

He smiled, while slowly walking towards you. Your heart started pounding, but thanfully, he just passed you to get to the door.

„I didn't know you're in charge of the library, Mr. David. Where is Mrs. Andrews?“ you were geniuenly curious.

While trying to unlock the door, he turned his body halfway to face you.

„She is still in charge of the library, but I volunteered to take her place when she has to bring her daughter for a checkup at the doctor, which is every other week at this time. You know, I get credits for it and it's not that hard of a job,really.“

You almost forgot that he was just a student like you. The only difference is that he was currently working on his Doctorate degree and in order to achieve it, he had to teach some classes as well. Credits were definitely something good to have more of.

When he finally got the door unlocked, he made his way behind them. Holding them open with one hand, gesturing for you to come through with the other.

As you marched foward, you felt his eyes looking you up and down. While walking over the threshold, you heard his voice behind you.

„And outside of the class, it's Damiano for you.“

Did he really just suggest for you to call him by his first name?  

You quickly gave him a smile while speeding your walk to get to the shelves, so you can look for the books you need and get the hell out of there.

//

Soon, a few more people started coming through the door. They were sitting down to study or simply trying to find the books they want. It was taking you surprisingly long time to get to the titles you were looking for to help with your school work, but you didnt want to ask your teacher, you would rather die on the spot.

You spent a good 10 minutes going slowly over the section of letter „C,“ but didnt see any copies of the Italian book left. Thinking your classmates already took all of them, you were slowly losing hope. You slid over to the frame on the right, moving on to find a book for your sociology finals.

Scanning the shelves with your eyes, looking for the letter „S,“ the dark figure appeared next to you once again.

„Need any help?“ he asked you generously.

Oh well, you didn't want to ask him at first. But since he was already standing there, you decided to give it a shot.

„Maybe.“

He started walking away from you, signaling you to also leave the cubicle made out of shelves.

„Well, maybe Compiti italiani is in a different section, you're not in the language department, signorina.“

You were following him to the other side of the library, but this comment made you pause for a split second and roll your eyes. He was following you to the cubicle in the furthest corner of the room. You really just wanted to get this over with and come back the next day, when the usual librarian would be back.

Then, Damiano, as he asked you to call him, walked between the two giant shelves and you kept following him. Stopping in front of the middle one, you started scanning the section of the letter C once again.

„Thank you, I can handle from now on.“

Something didn't seem right as he didn't leave after what you just told him. In fact, he got even closer. You didn't know if you were scared, purely annoyed or even a little bit aroused. You just barely got to notice that the books on the shelves were about history, when he turned you around in one swift movement. You dropped your bag on the ground in a response, hoping your glass water bottle didn't shatter.

He pinned you against one of the book cases, roughly holding your hands above your head.

„And maybe, I lied about the book being here,“ he smiled at you while intertwining his hands with yours.  He started placing a few kisses on your neck, leaving you in complete state of shock.

„What is going on?“ you were trying to get an answer while holding in a moan.

„Shhhh, we're in a library, remember?“ he commented between the kisses. „a bad student like you needs to be put in her place.“

You were fighting the urge that was growing inside of you and weakly tried to push him off. He looked at you, worried, waiting for explanation.

„So you do this with all of the students who get bad marks in your classes?“

„No, just the ones who eyefuck me basically every lesson. C'mon, michetta, you are so desperate for me, I can see it.“

You were practically melting at his words. As pinky blush started appearing on your face, you were trembling. Of course, you wanted him, you would give up anything to have this man fuck you. But in this situation, you were a bit confused.

As the adrenaline kicked in, you reached out your shaking hands and pulled him back to you by his arms. He had this suggestive smile on his face and you knew very well that he had unspeakable intentions. You reached your neck up and got your mouth close to his ear.

„Well then, fuck some of the italian into me, Damiano.“

„Volentieri“ he winked at you and finally pressed his mouth against yours. You kissed back as one of your hands made its way out of his grip. It trailed into the back of his head, carefully caressing his hair. You finally had the chance to fully give in and pushed your tongue even further into his mouth.

Damiano started leaving little trail of kisses from your mouth, traveling down your cheeks and chin. Finding his way to your neck again, he was bitting on little bits of your skin, which made a moan escape your mouth involuntarily. He quickly put a hand over your mouth, so students in the front wouldnt hear you.

He hiked one of your leg sup to his torso, which made you automatically wrap it around him. Sliding his hand up your thigh, he found his way towards your underwear. He brushed his fingertips right between the outline of your labia, feeling the increasing wetness in your panties. You felt a little laugh against your neck.

„Do you leave my class this wet every week? Or is it just the thought of me fucking you in a place we shouldn't that has gotten you so excited?“ he looked deep into your eyes while still caressing you through the soaking fabric. Not giving you time to respond, he leaned in to slip his tongue into your mouth once again. He let go of your leg and his hand trailed up to the hem of your panties, pulling them down. He bent over, taking them off completely and putting them in the pocket of his blazer afterwards.

„We'll see if you're good enough of a girl to get them back after this,“ he said with a hint of arrogance in his tone.

This got you so worked up, making you want to show how well you can behave for him. You grabbed the man by his shoulder, turning him around, so he's the one leaning against the book casing. Almost smashing him against it, he let out a silent suggestive grin. It seemed like he could read your mind, knowing about your plans. You dropped to your knees in front of him, trying not to lose any eye contact. Reaching hands to his belt, you tried to unbuckle it fast so you could get what you wanted. Unfortunately, the belt had no intention of coming undone. Upon seeing you struggle, Damiano finally put you out of your misery by helping you.

Once the brown belt around his pants and his zipper were open, you pulled them down to his ankles. This action left you with his intense boner showing right through his boxers in front of your face. It has taken you back to the many nights you imagined getting this view. Kneeling in front of the man built finer than any renaissance building in Rome. Ready to take him all in, it really felt like you're dreaming.

His boxers finally joined the pants down at his feet and you were left with a view that you never had before. He wasn't the biggest in the world, but still way bigger youve ever seen in your life. For a second, you were worried if you would even be able to fit him all in your mouth.

But what better way to find out than give it a try, right?

The question followed your worries and you dived straight in. You gave him a last good look up, seeing him waiting in anticipation. Grabbing his lenght with your right hand, you immediately realised you needed some kind of lubrication. You spat right on his tip and smeared it all over, which quickly turned into giving him slow strokes. This has already earned you an expression  from him, being interested in what youll do next. You started picking up the pace, trying hard not to make the sloppy sound. Your hand was sliding up and down, getting faster and you were joyfully looking at his face in pure bliss. You decided to give him a little bit more of a show and quickly switched the hand for your mouth.

„Cazzo.“

Going at the same tempo as before finally got a moan out of him that he was struggling to hold in for so long. Hearing him speak in italian had some kind of effect on you and you started to feel the knot in your stomach getting tighter. You were speeding up, jerking your lips around his cock as fast as you could. Damiano was definitely enjoying it, fighting himself not to be any louder. You wanted to finally have him inside of you, so you took a next step.

Stopping this activity, you reached for your bag that you previously dropped onto the ground. After ramaging through all of your belongings, you found the condom you have thrown in a few months ago „just in case.“

„Always prepared to get fucked but rarely for an italian exam, I see,“ he smiled at you.

„You know, I'm naturally talented at the first option. The second one? Not so much.“

You took the condom out of it's wrapper and carefully rolled it out on his cock. When you got up from the ground, you immediately found yourself pressed against the wall once again. Damiano wasted no time, passionately kissing you. This time, he wrapped the leg around his core himself.

„Let's see if youre right about that, bella.“

He roughly pushed himself into you, which made some of the shelves shake. There was no adjusting period, he was pounding you at the speed of light. This tempo made you light headed, you were rolling your eyes back. There was clearly sweating rolling down his face, which made you aroused even more. You still couldnt believe this was happening but tried to be present in the time and place. You were whinning, practically melting into his body as he was fucking you. He reached his hand to shut your mouth once again.

„How I wish you could scream my name right now, begging me to fuck you harder. Unfortunately, bad girls like you have to be quiet because they can't learn their fucking lesson.“

In one swift movement, he turned you around, forcing you to bend over. With one of his hands still on your mouth and the other hiking your skirt up, he entered you from behind. You let out a muffled moan against his palm, as you felt him deep inside of you. Your walls clenching around his cock made him seem short of breath. He was pounding you while being completely pressed against you. You were slowly losing yourself to him.

He moved the hand from your back to your cunt. Without warning, he started rubbing your clit fast, matching the speed of his thrusts. You were being tipped over the edge and it seemed like he knew that you were getting close.

„Sborra per me, puttana,“ he growled at you in italian. Although you didn't understand, it was the last push you needed. This killer combination made you come undone with another muffled cry.

You felt a few more thrusts until he came himself, his whole body shaking into you.

When you were both done, you stayed in your place for a minute, just catching your breath and processing whatever just happened. You were absolutely in bliss after this scenario, which seemed like cropped out of your pornsite search history. It has definitely taught you a lesson or two, but you maybe didnt want to admit it to him.

You heard his pants buckled behind you, so you finally decided to face him. He still looked great, if not better, with messy hair and his shirt all creased up.

„Well, you definetely got a part of italian fucked into you. Was that enough for you to start studying for my lessons or do you want to fail, so you can keep on salivating in my classes?“

„I admit, it made me rethink my past decisions, but also if I wasn't bad at learning foreign languages, I wouldn't have a gorgeous  italian man fucking me in the back of a library, so I guess it was fine after all.“

You grinned at him, sticking your tongue out.

He pulled you closer to him by your waist, passionately kissing you one more time.

„What if I keep fucking you, maybe in my place or yours, and we might get to some tutoring in between, hm?“ he raised an eyebrow suggestively.

„Sounds like a deal to me.“

You quickly collected yourself, grabbing your bag off the ground, straightening your skirt down. Soon you realised that you had no underwear on.

„Do I get my panties back, please?“ you looked to Damiano one more time.

He just giggled and shook his head.

„When you pass my class, at least with the D mark, you can have your underwear back.“

He immediately walked off, heading towards the front of the library. You also got out of the cubicle, burning up with embarrasment. You really didn't want anyone to think youre sleeping your way to a better grade. On the other hand, you were still so happy about what just happened that you didnt want to care about other people.

Seemingly, there were only two students left, both with headphones on. Looked like film majors editing their final projects so there was a low chance they heard anything.

You made your way to the door, as Damiano was already behind the librarians desk. As you were about to pass through, he jogged around the table to quickly get to you.

„Not even saying goodbye to your teacher? That is rude,Y/N“ he frowned  his face at you. You playfully hit him into his arm.

  „Well, Mr. David, you didn't seem to care about 'rude' when you were fucking one of your students in the school building, but let's talk about that later, shall we?“

He bit his tongue and smiled at you. After that, he handed you a piece of paper with his number and adress on it. It also said „TUTORING“ on top, which made you smile as well.

You nodded your head and waved to him, knowing you couldn't kiss him goodbye, as there were already two sets of eyes on you. You just dissapeared through the door frame and went your own way.

Replaying of the scene that just occured in the library didn't stop in your head until you fell asleep, thinking about the right time to call him about your first tutoring session.

[tempobrucera]

All this madness

Description: If you could see yourself through Thomas’ eyes on a bad day, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Pairing: Thomas x Reader Wordcount: 1.6k Warning(s): Mental Health A/N: Didn’t really want to post this, but here we go. Just a few words until I post my Valentines fics which will be happier, I promise.

Add yourself to my taglist. / Masterlist

._____.

It has been a while since you’ve been feeling like this. Or since you’ve even felt off, not since that day Thomas banged on your door, stayed, kissed you and never really left again. 

Now the feeling is overbearing. The feeling of being too much, but not enough. Not worth anyone’s time or thought. Of not looking the right way, not being pretty enough. And nothing happening around you helps.

It’s a terrible day on top of it. Outside it’s raining, it’s cold and grey. Usually you would be okay with that, your head leaning against the window, watching the rain, with a warm cup of tea in your hands. On a particularly good day, Thomas would get you to go outside with him, maybe kiss you in the rain, and you would end up in giggles. But today isn’t usually. It’s gloomy, like the thoughts in your head. You felt like freezing to death when outside earlier, and maybe that wouldn’t be so bad after all, you think. Your socks are wet, the water of the rain seeping through your sneakers. Thomas’ leather jacket not keeping you the warmest but at least it gave you comfort. The umbrella - forgotten on the kitchen table. The train never came - you sob. 

“Hey,” Thomas lays his arms around your waist, “I’m here.”

You smile through the tears that somehow started falling. When you want to wipe them away Thomas stops you. You keep smiling, you don’t want him to worry, you don’t want to explain. You just want him to hold you a little longer - and Thomas loosens his grip on you. Another sob is escaping your throat, before he spins you a little and hugs you closer.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” His heartbeat is loud and goes faster than it normally does, you have your ear against his chest, then bury your face into his shirt before you’re erupting into more sobs. “Hey, it’s okay. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you shiver. The wet socks still on your feet are getting uncomfortable. And not only your tears but also the rain on the leather jacket are soaking through his dress shirt. “It’s stupid … I am stupid.”

“You are not and it’s not stupid, I promise. Let’s get you out of these wet clothes.” He puts his pointer finger on your forehead as if it’s a drill. “And then we’re going to talk about what this mean thing in here is doing to you.”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be? Somewhere more important?” You hide your face on his chest again. “With some more important people than me?”

Thomas scoffs: “I’m exactly where I want and have to be.”

When you look at him, his eyes betray him. He should be somewhere else, it probably is important as well, you can see the little bit of guilt for leaving the other’s hanging in his eyes. You know that Vic will call and will be vocal, you don’t want him to deal with it, just because you hate yourself. It’s not worth it. And as if you wouldn’t have known it, his phone starts ringing. 

“Get your ass here, Thomas.” It’s Vic, she’s loud. “Now!”

“Sorry, I won’t be attending.”

“What the fuck? You’re getting your ass here.” You can hear her saying through the phone.

“Sorry, something important came up,” he tries again. “Tho-”

“No.” Now he’s getting loud, “Fuck yourself, Victoria. I am the one who’s always there for shit, for fucking everything, even when some bitch thinks I don’t talk or cuts everything I say or whatever. Every goddamn time, I’m there. My turn to play this bloody card, I am not coming. I can spell it out for you or sent you a letter if that hel-”

“I’m sorry, Vic.” 

Thomas looks at you. You sniff, you don’t want them to fight. Not because of anything, but definitely not because of you. He’s still holding you.

“I … Are you okay?” Vic asks but you’re already sobbing into Thomas’ shirt again. “Fuck, sorry.”

“Bye, Vic. If you’re thinking about calling me again today, think about fucking yourself instead.” Then he hangs up before he talks to you again. “At least she would love to do that a great deal more than annoy me.”

“She loves to annoy you.” You almost giggle and Thomas smiles at you gently.

“Yes, but she loves the other thing even more.”

You aren’t quite sure how you got out of your socks after that, and in some cosy ones. How you got out of your jeans, or how you got out of Thomas’ jacket that you kept wrapped tightly around your body and into one of his warm hoodies, or how you ended up on the couch, Thomas' arms still wrapped around you. You don’t know, but you’re certain that he helped with all of it. There’s a steaming hot cup of tea waiting for you on the table.

“What’s wrong?” 

“It’s …,” you cuddle closer to him, “it’s stupid.”

“I guarantee you, it’s not.”

“Do you not want to be with anyone taller sometimes?” 

“What the f-” He catches himself, when he sees your face. “Sorry. It’s not stupid, it just caught me off guard. And the answer is no, no I don’t want that.”

“Are you not tired of leaning down all the time?”

“No, it’s excellent, because it happens to be that I love crouching down a bit.” He presses his lips against your forehead.

“I want to scratch my eyes out.” Thomas furrows his brows, but he isn’t interrupting you. “I hate them. I hate seeing myself through them. And why do they have to be this boring.”

“I happen to love them.” And then he carefully presses his lips to one of your eyelids. “I can’t see anything boring in them.”

“God, I hate myself.” You sob but Thomas isn’t letting go of you - calmly stroking your back. “Why are you even keeping up with me? I’m sure you could get something better instead of sticking around, someone prettier and not as fucked as me, you know?”

You can hear the deep inhale and exhale before he talks again: “I don’t want anything else. You’re more than enough for me and more. There’s nothing I would change that for. I wish you could see that or believe me when I say it. And … I’m sorry, I seem to have done a pretty shit job when you’re thinking that I think this.”

“No, it’s me, I-” 

He kisses you instead.

“I’m sorry, if I did anything to make you believe that,” he looks at you, “I know how it is.”

“But you’re actually pretty.” You kiss the corner of his lips. “So, so pretty.”

“Depends on who you ask,” he sighs, “But your pretty eyes luckily see me like this. Just as much my pretty eyes see you like this.”

“Who do I have to punch?”

He laughs: “I think that line is a bit too long to punch. And before the question comes up, I won’t punch you for thinking any of this. We can … we can do it a bit harder if that … helps. But no punching.”

There’s an adorable blush on his nose, and you blush as well.

“Okay.”

Silence. It isn’t uncomfortable, no one of you has to fill the silence between you to feel comfortable.

“Is there anything else?”

“Don’t you think my hobbies are stupid?” 

“Okay, who’s hobbies aren’t actually stupid though?” He furrows his brows again. “And look at me, my stupid hobby became my job and otherwise my stupid hobbies are, and maybe not in this order, taking naps, eating, going out to dance silly and get kicked out of fancy venues because they can’t handle me. That’s what I call stupid hobbies. But you know the best of them, the best of my silly hobbies? Spending time with you.”

You have to sob again. 

He kisses your cheek, and you know instantly that you will not like what is about to follow.

“I haven’t seen you eating in a few days probably.” Before you can protest, Thomas keeps speaking. “That one salad and one piece of brownie doesn’t count.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“That might be the case,” his voice is soft, “but you still have to eat. Which is why we will order pizza now.”

“Thom?”

“You only have to have one slice. I’m not gonna force it. But you need some food, okay? And you can have cake.”

“No, Tho. It’s nine o’clock in the morning. That’s not pizza time.”

“It’s the best time for a pizza.”

Later, when you’re still in his arms, nibbling on the one slice of pizza, watching a silly documentary on Youtube about the mystery of who wrote the Disney Channel theme music, the world is okay for a moment. Thomas isn’t judging when you nibble on your slice or tries to get you to eat more and you’re grateful for it. 

“Don’t you want to be anywhere else right now?”

Thomas looks at you, for a long time. Longer than before, before he answers: “No. I’m exactly where I want to be. You know, that’s the sort of magic all this madness is for. Just having pizza at nine in the morning, with you.”

You wish, you could see what his hazel eyes saw when he just looked at you for the longest time. But the thing is, you can’t. 

._____.

END.

Read something recently that led me to want to scratch my eyes out. Cool how your brain can go not even in this fictional scenario someone would want me, right? So we ended up here. 

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[reputationdamiano]

dandelions

pairing: damiano david x reader

warning(s): one mention of blood in person's veins

word count: 631

summary: when you and damiano find a field of dandelions, your vacation in french countryside can’t get any better.

a/n: over a year ago, a certain person made a playlist for me, this song was in it. i still find it very beautiful and it inspired me to write a short fic. as you may see, i’m trying to improve my writing. i also want to thank @bidet-and-legolas for proofreading 🤍

dandelions. 

there were hundreds of thousands of them. sitting on the ground, surrounded by them, you felt like a plant from a different ecosystem which has been gradually putting down its roots. 

a light breeze seemed to be moving feather-like clouds high above the planet. the temperature was the optimum in which you felt most at peace with reality: high, but not a suffocating heat. 

while slowly approaching you, damiano took all of his steps like a spy. in his eyes, you were a masterpiece and he was admiring you.

your hair was falling down in cascades over a flaxen dress the color of freshly harvested peaches. you were holding one of the flowers in your hand with great caution, like it was the last one in the world and you could save the species from going extinct. 

“what are you thinking about, bella?” your boyfriend asked, and sat down on the grass. he began tracing the tattoo on your arm with his fingers, just like he did a week after you got it and finally took the protective film off it. damiano loved every inch of your skin and always let you know about it. 

“i’m wishing on those little things” 

this was true. when you encountered this field about ten minutes ago, during your bike excursion in the countryside, it instantly reminded you of an old superstition. 

“and what are you wishing for?” damiano enquired, resting his head on your shoulder and intertwining his fingers with yours. 

“don’t you know saying it out loud is against the rules of wishing?” you replied half-jokingly. 

“come on, won’t you tell me?” damiano tried to convince you, looking at you with puppy eyes. 

“alright” you blew the seeds of the dandelion and watched them make their way through the lukewarm air. you looked into his hazel eyes and cupped his cheeks delicately.

“i wished that you’ll be mine forever”

then you closed your eyes and pulled him even closer. that’s when your lips met his in a soft kiss that was becoming more and more passionate every second.

when it came to an end, damiano’s eyes light up like sparklers. 

“your wish is going to come true, i promise” he beamed and looked at you fondly. 

“but i need you to close your eyes right now” damiano added. 

“um.. okay?” you didn’t have the slightest idea what he was plotting this time but you followed his instructions. 

he must’ve gotten up from the ground because your shoulders brushed and the space next to you seemed empty. 

you could feel the blood in your veins flowing faster and faster.

“dami, where are you going?” you couldn’t help but ask. 

“please be patient” his voice could be heard a few meters away from your sitting spot.  although you were hyped up, you kept sitting still, seeing nothing but darkness in front of you.

“well, you can open your eyes now” 

you finally lifted your eyelids to a sight of damiano kneeling before you. he was holding a little blue box with a shiny ring in it. the loving look on his face already expressed what he was about to say.

“i finally gathered the courage to do this. will you marry me, y/n?” 

the last five words were the confirmation that your boyfriend and you shared the same wish. you were convinced that no one could tear two of you apart, ever. 

your eyes glazed over as you reached for his hand. 

“yes” you exclaimed. the next thing you knew, you had a diamond ring on your finger. damiano pulled you in and your lips started moving in perfect sync. in that moment, it was like you were the only people on earth. 

“sei l’amore della mia vita” damiano confessed.

“i’ll be yours forever” 

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

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if you like my works, please reblog, comment or send me asks. ¡gracias!

[filthforfriends]

Chapter 6: Guardian Angel

Alpha!Damiano x Omega!fem y/n

Word Count: 6.9k

The prospect of waiting another six days to be alone together sounded fucking ludicris. When Monday sucked, you knew that this shit mood would hang out all week without the proper satiation. Mostly you just felt under the weather, but burst out into tears at the smallest inconvenience on three separate occasions. You knew the mood swings were due to hormonal fluctuation as your biology became more in tune with your alpha. Damiano wanted to wait to knot, to mate, so you would wait until he was ready. There wasn’t even an alternative in your mind. He needed you to wait, so you’d wait. Meanwhile, your body was screaming what the fuck are you doing at full volume.

It was’t just on the brink of orgasam that you craved a knot. It was whenever you masturabated. Saturday night, you desperately tried to relieve the gnawing lust that burned in your cunt. By Monday, you thought about a knot whenever you thought about getting off. This morphed into the fixation on the idea that you shouldn’t shake. The idea of Damiano pining you to the mattress and snapping his hips to meet yours was so distracting that you walked into a door frame. You didn’t want a choice or for him to ask. Rather, Damiano would grip you tight enough to bruise and take, take, take until you couldn’t stand. Instead of stopping he’d just find a flat surface to rest you on and treat you like a cum depository. You’d be forced to contain it all by a knot so big it created an inescapable ache. Crying, screaming, scratching, he’d half to pause because the pleas for him to continue were nearly identical to the cries that might beg him to stop.

Needless to say, you locked your door when you arrived home and spent an hour searching for some other side of this feeling. There was no satiation to be found. Your hands couldn’t simulate the knot your cunt begged for, a knot that you weren’t getting any time soon. However, your fucking immune system recognized Damiano’s pheramones and made you crave him subconsciously. Your body had chosen Dami’s, and his yours, in a way that had nothing to do with conscious attraction.

One sexual fixation abated, only for another one to take its place. Early Wednesday morning, before dawn, you woke from a dream the color of Dami’s olive skin where warm sheets slipped between your bodies and through your hands. It was both abstract and deeply personal and found yourself thinking about the scent of Damiano’s cum. You didn’t like the scent of cum, you were ambivalent towards it. However, you began obsessing about it with such intensity that your reproductive organs ached from emptiness. 

You couldn’t remember another time when you fantasized about cum or a knot, or these specific aspects of mating. A primal part of you was wide awake and fighting for control. All it had taken was falling asleep on Damiano’s chest for your entire sexuality to shift. 

The David’s were protective of your rest. Especially Dami, who decided to let you nap and waited to eat lunch.

“Well, it’d be cruel to wake her up now,” Isabella sighs. “Her body can calm down from a state of hypervigilance because you’re here. She knows she’s protected so she can actually get deep sleep.” They’d decided to use a sleep tracker and wake you up after one cycle when it’d be the least abrasive. It was horrifying to know that so much attention had been allotted to this, but that hour and a half on Dami’s bare chest was more rejuvenating than a night by yourself. It also felt more intimate than sexual encounters you’d had with other partners.

You woke to Damiano forcefully rubbing your back and saying your name. His hand was under your tank top, against your skin. It was confusing because you hadn’t realized you’d fallen asleep. Of course he soothed by stroking your hair and cooing in your ear softly.

“Hey baby, you took a nap while I watched T.V. It’s okay.” Even though you’d startled initially, it was the nicest wakeup in recent memory. The waking up part wasn’t that hard. What was difficult was disentangling yourself from Damiano and being greeted with cold air. It felt like peeling your first layer of skin off. Immediately all you wanted to do was duck back under his sweatshirt and snuggle, face next to his scent glands. Everything felt too harsh: the lights, sound, necessity of fine motor skills. Dami was also visibly upset by the separation, but for you it was a moment of agony. 

“You know it costs zero ration points to not be a bitch.” That's what Cleo said to you while you fought over the diner dishes on Wednesday evening. It wasn’t an entirely unfair assessment either. You’d rather curl up in bed then try to function without Damiano. It felt like life was moving at a slightly faster speed than you were. All the lessons were paced quicker than you could comprehend. Your note taking was a little too slow. You spend 20 minutes on a single question, reading it over and over, but unable to come up with an answer. Your physics teacher looked genuinely concerned and offered you a chance to retake it next week. 

Instead of ranting to Xiema and Gia during break, you lay your head on your crossed arms, not even bothering to get lunch. Four days of this hell was unsustainable. The only choice was to disengage temporarily. The line, the food, the tedium of eating was too overwhelming. So you just closed your eyes, not even raising your head when they sat beside you.

“Are you alive?”

“Unfortunately.” Gia and Xiema seem to get up earlier than usual. Then again, your sense of time leaves something to be desired at the moment. The alert for your next lesson hasn’t sounded, so you decide to just look like a creepy lonier sleeping at lunch. However, by the time they’re a few paces away, someone else sits beside you. Damiano.

 You look down and see his black pants straddling the bench. Then you start to think about something else in that vicinity and press your eyes closed. It's too late, the idea had already taken root. You could drag him into a bathroom and fall to your knees. Dami hadn’t had a proper blow job in months so he’d probably be really vocal, yanking you around by your hair while you drooled on the tiled floor.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks softly. Yes is dishonest. No makes for questions you can’t stand to answer. Please fuck me isn’t situationally apropriate. So you settle for a shrug, and a groan. Damiano’s hand traces its way up the back of your neck and onto your scalp. It's heavenly. Fucking fuck. His over hand comes to rest on your inner thigh. For a moment your brain short circuits and your head slips off your arms and audibly hits the table. 

“Woah, hey.” He shifts to rubbing up and down your back, scooting close enough he’s pressed against your elbow. It's so sweet it aches.

“Ow,” you squeak. Damiano still checked on you regularly. Instead of assuming you stayed up too late watching T.V. last night, he was skipping class to stroke your hair and make sure you were okay. You wanted to cry and not just because you slammed your forehead on a wooden table.

“Will you look at me?” He tries to coax you into lifting your head, but you’re still trying to wrangle the tears. From the time you woke up you’d felt fragile today, rubbed raw.

“Mm mm. I’m not this omega,” you sniff, trying to make your voice steady.

“This is my fault.”

“You’re doing your best. I’ll survive.” More careful hands trying to comfort you. 

“Have you eaten lunch?” You shake your head and he sighs, rubbing between your shoulder blades.

“You can go back to class Dami. I’ll call you tonight” He pets your head and kisses it, resting his chin on your shoulder. He’s stalling.

“Convince me that just leaving you here is the right thing.” You try to come up with an honest answer that isn’t I’m fine because he’ll call bullshit in a second.

“If something was really wrong I’d tell you. This is just making people stare at me unnecessarily.” He lets out a long sigh, kisses your head, and stands up.

“Call me after school, or I will.” As soon as Damiano walks off you wish that he’d insisted you needed to leave and skipped class to spend the day with you. Of course this wasn’t feasible, but it was a nice fantasy.

You got home from and ended up standing in your bedroom, in a state of half dissociation. It’s lonely and you wish he was here to hold you. The room is so silent that your phone’s ringer makes you jump. 

“Why didn’t you call me, baby?” 

“I – I just…I don’t know.” It's an honest answer and you’re holding back tears because crying will just make your heart hurt worse.

“Meet me at the amphitheater after practice tomorrow. You can have dinner with my family and stay the night. Use me as a pillow.” This sounded like a tremendous idea, which is how you found yourself walking down the main hall in the underbelly of the sporting amphitheater. Romero Soccor’s coach looked at you wearily as you walked by. He was having a hushed conversation on the phone, which you immediately gathered was serious.

“Due to issues of personal conduct we have decided Julio will no longer be a remember of Romero’s soccer team.” Immediately you winced. A couple younger alphas losing their tempers and tearing into each other was a regular occurrence. They accepted it as a part of life, but to betas and omegas it was gory. Damiano would have an interesting story tonight. After pushing past the doors, you scanned the field for him. Aside from one assistant coach standing awkwardly in the entryway to the locker room, everyone was on the other side of the turf. 

You make your way over then realize you might be intruding on something that isn’t your business. Maybe you should wait by Damiano’s car and text him. Deciding that seems like the thing to do, you turn around and walk back. 

“Dam’s girlfriend!” someone announces. You turn around to see possibly the youngest team member pointing at you. You’re about to ask what barn he was raised in, but Star beats you to it, smacking him upside the head. A couple more people turn around and which reveals what's inside the circle. The person you assume to be Julio or his assailant is crouched on the ground with blood profusely flowing from his nose. 

Star beckons you over with a nervous expression and you search for Damiano. As you walk toward him, he jogs over to you. Out of some morbid fascination you can’t take your eyes off of the wounded player. The bridge of his nose is curved harshly to the right.

“Is that broken?” you whisper. 

“Uh, probably,” Star huffs, shifting around with nervous energy.

“I guess Dami is getting ice somewhere, then. Should I go wait by the car? I don’t want to intrude.” Star is breathless and it can’t just be from that short jog over here. Maybe it's anxiety, maybe he broke up the fight. Which probably means your boyfriend did as well.

“No, no, it's good you're here. So, uh – shit, okay um…”

“Just fuckin’ tell her,” someone goads and suddenly you feel very observed. Star winces and Lars jogs up behind him.

“What the hell is going on? Where’s Dami?” Your chest tightens suddenly with the instinctual sensation that something is not as it should be. Despite scouring the field all around you, the only players are gathered here, and Damiano isn’t one of them.

“This kid threw a shit fit over some call coach made. It’s just how we get sometimes. Dam tried to help him calm down, but the little asshole shoved him to the ground and ran away. Dam was just trying to help, put his hand on the kid's shoulder to make sure he was okay and got punched,” Lars explains. So your boyfriend was somewhere, injured.

“Where is he? What the fucked happened?” you demand.

“Damiano David happened,” calls out the same voice that had heckled earlier. So your boyfriend had punched Julio because he’d been attacked. You try to process this information without staring at Julio’s crooked nose.

“Why don’t you shut the fuck up, Nikolai?” responds Star.

“Hey!” warns an assistant coach, sitting on the grass beside the injured player.

“It’s not like we haven’t heard the stories. My mom doesn’t think he should be allowed on the team at all.” Although you desperately wanted to know what this dickwad was referencing, you couldn’t listen to him talk this way about Damiano.

“Yeah, well opinions are like assholes, everyones got one.” The half second of total silence was deeply gratifying. Nikolai had never had an omega speak to him like that.

“Where is Damiano?” you repeat. Lars points to the furthest door in the amphitheater. You march past the team, only to hear Nickolai pipe up again.

“This is what happens when you don’t breed your bitch –”

“Nikolai, I will put you on probation,” warns the assistant coach. 

“And this is what happens when some mediocre alpha thinks the world revolves around him,” you bite back. Apparently your self preservation instincts have taken a vacation.

“It's a shame we’re not allowed to use corporal –” 

“You can’t just say that about Dam’s omega,” someone hisses.

“Nikolai, off the field!” You’re so angry that you can’t think of a response harsh enough so you turn around and spit on his cleats. Half the team makes encouraging sounds, but you barely register it as you run across the field. Alphas advocating for corporal punishment to dicipline omegas was something you’d endured as long as you could perceive it. If it wasn’t so unoriginal it might affect you.

Upon reaching the far door, you look inside and realize it's not made for inhabitants.  The space is unfurnished, all cement walls and harsh fluorescent lighting. It’s used for storage, which means there's no signage. The smell of all the equipment is making it hard to locate your boyfriend. 

“Dami? Baby?” When he doesn’t answer, you have to take a deep breath and imagine his predicament. Where would you go if you were injured and persecuted by assholes on your team? Probably not out in the open, so you begin ducking inside rooms. The first open door with some space behind it houses hundreds of pounds of salt for the slow plow. Had the place not been so echoey, you might have missed Damiano curled up between stacks of bags.

“Not now,” he croaks. He can’t smell anything with a bloody nose, doesn’t know it's you. So you try not to startle him, approaching slowly.

“Baby, it’s, y/n. Dami, it’s me.” When Damiano looks up, you startle, and you actually watch that break his heart in real time. It’s not that he’s in headspace, which you weren’t expecting, it's that the bottom half of his face is covered in blood. The stuff is even in his hair.

“You’re gonna be okay now. I’m here.” Truthfully, you didn’t know if you could make whatever this was better, but you knew that Damiano needed to hear it, to see a light at the end of the tunnel. You drop your bag beside him and smooth his hair back. The blood hasn’t begun to dry yet which means the whole debacle must have been very recent. It also must have been what triggered his alpha headspace. Using a hair tie, you secure the tangled strands out of his face, then dig through your bag.

You had a water bottle and a container of juice Gia had asked you to hold and forgotten about. Calories would be a good idea.

“Damiano, drink this. Let’s get you some glucose.” He stays with his head to his knees, arms around his shins. “I spit on Nikolai’s shoes like two minutes ago.” This makes him look up and this time you’re ready. “I don’t think you realize how much blood is on your face right now, that's what spooked me.” Damiano nods, and starts tugging at you, with his lips pouted, never meeting your eyes. He grabs your arms, waist, until you swing a leg over to straddle and find yourself squashed. Dami pulls you against his chest and wraps you in his arms, even bends his knees to keep you close.

You never thought you could feel suffocated by Dami, that there would ever be too close. But this, this was too close. In the moment, Damiano’s world had shrunken so small that you were his only comfort in it. He needed you so desperately that you had to regulate your own emotions not to get overwhelmed.

“I don’t know what's going through your head, but this does not negatively affect our relationship. We are fine. You’re going to be fine. We’re gonna go home, cuddle in the same sweatshirt, and watch a funny movie. You’re going to get a good sleep and tomorrow this will be a sucky memory.” Damiano takes a couple shaky deep breaths and loosens his grip from absolute terror survival mode. You lean over and pull the juice out of your bag, handing it to him. While Damiano downs it you rummage around in the bottom of the backpack for some spare towelette packets and rip one of those open. The packaging is crumpled and dirty but the seal hasn’t been broken so they’re usable.

It's challenging to figure out where the blood is coming from, mouth or nose, until you realize it's coming from both. Which would mean he was punched multiple times. 

“That was self-defense, Damiano.”

“I don’t get to practice self defense unless my life is in danger.”

“What the fuck!? Says whom?” You decide to try the tampon trick, since the blood flow has lessened from everywhere except his right nostril.

“I’m too strong. Did you see what I did to that kid? I broke his nose without trying!”  That explains why he’s so upset. He really injured someone and despite his biology, Dami didn’t enjoy violence. He’s choking up again. You hope the hilarity of having a tampon shoved in his nostril would help, but it doesn’t. What's worrying you more than his injuries is how long he’s been in headspace. Damiano allowed himself to shift in and out when you were alone together, but it never occurred to you that he’d, at himes, have no control. He could get stuck. 

There was no threat here, just his girlfriend sitting on his lap. He shouldn’t be in alpha mode. There was nothing to fight, no where to direct that primal energy. You grab the water and watch his face as he drinks. He’d stopped crying, which was good, but he was still periodically tenseing. Not tensing, wincing, like he was in pain.

“Baby, where else is hurt? Is it the way I’m sitting?” You start shifting around, but Damiano stills you. He scrunches his eyes closed and takes a deep breath. You try to breathe with him, but he falls out of sync.

“Are you hurt?” He nods before speaking, a single tear falling down his face. 

“Being like this, your blood pressure goes up. So my head is fucking killing me,” he whimpers. Damiano must have an excruciating, pounding headache right now. You didn’t have the type of medication needed to treat this, but after your rogue reaction to your HSIUD, you had learned about pressure points. Thalia had a previous special interest in holistic medicine and rattled off facts until you (lovingly) told her to shut up.

So you found his temples with your index fingers, and massage in slow circles. Dami’s skin is slick with beads of sweat. Perspiration not from athleticism, but from pain. The cuts on his nose and upper lip were the most superficial of his injuries. Damiano’s hands released and came to rest on the floor. His head lulled forward, resting against your own and only then did you realize how much blood was going to be on your clothes. That didn’t matter. Damiano was finally able to relax his muscles under your careful touch. You switched to gripping the hollows at the base of his skull between your forefinger and thumb. Damiano lets out a moan, and you know its not at all sexual, just from pain releif. Yet, the sound still throbs between your legs.

“This helping?”

“Mhm, hmm,” he confirms, head sliding onto your shoulder. In order to stop the both of you from tipping over, you guide Damiano upright, chin supported in one hand. The pressure point right above his tear ducts makes him wince. It’s the best one for this, but a little pain predates the relief. The sensation is invasive.

“Breath through it,” you coach, and can feel him relax under your fingers. His tendons and veins are no longer straining. Giving Damiano a break, you massage a straight line from between his eyebrows, up his forehead. On the way back down you notice his canines are no longer resting on his plush lip. That's good, because you’re out of ideas. Dami opens his eyes slowly then blinks hard, like the light is too bright. That beautiful hazel is back.

“No more Vampiriano,” you chirp, as if this was an easy fix. Someone blows a whistle outside and it reminds you that you’re in public. Both friends and assholes are ever so aware of your absences and no doubt gossiping. There was also the greater issue of getting Damiano home or to the doctor’s.

“Okay baby, do you think you can stand up?” He shakes his head. “Okay, well um…okay.” You stroke his undercut, the short hair making it easier to feel your touch. Damiano couldn’t drive, you didn’t have a license, so how are you going to shuttle him from one place to the other? Star and Lars were sympathetic and they probably had licenses. You start searching your pockets for your phone.

“Do you have Star’s number memorized?”

“Stop talking about that,” Damiano groans in excuiation. Pain, desperation, overwhelm. It’s a reality check that Damiano’s stress tolerance is at absolute zero. He bends over clutching his face, but you can see the tendons quiver in his forearms. Were the boundaries of the change really so feeble that he could slip back? Having your body force you into hypervigilance sounded not entirely dissimilar from a panic attack. 

A moment ago your touch had solved it, so you returned to the pressure points. He lets out a cry of frustration, and there's nothing calibrated about it. It might be the most honest sound you’ve heard from him, stuck in a moment of anguish. Unable to bear his pain, you scent him as a last ditch effort. It's hard to pull it forth unprompted, you don’t have a lot of practice. Still, you try to drown out Damiano’s sensory input with your pheromones. The intensity of his discomfort only lasts a couple seconds more, then Damiano takes a tear soaked gasping breath and relaxes against you. Operating on autopilot, you wrack your brain for stories about alpha’s experiencing headspace this way, and come up empty.

While you think, you pull up his jersey and begin stroking his back. If you were alone, you’d probably strip naked and get in bed. Not to have sex, but to hold him. Let your body tell his body that everything is okay, that there aren’t any threats to face. You needed a steady plan: adults, not teenagers. Speaking of, weren’t the staff supposed to manage players' injuries? Coach had been talking to Julio’s parents when you walked in which means he’d called Damiano’s parents right before or right after. They might be panicked and have no idea where you were.

“Damiano I’m gonna make sure a non-high schooler knows where we are, okay? I’ll be right back.” Dami is grabbing you in that panicky way again.  

“No! ‘Cause I might – I don’t want…” to lose control without you here. Damiano stops before saying the words, but you can infer from the way he’s avoiding your eyes. He’d allowed himself to need you, just a little bit. A person doesn’t cultivate themselves so completely unless there's something they’re trying to cover up, over power. Suddenly, you’re very aware that this is exactly what he hid under that sheek exterior. 

“What helps right now?” you whisper, stroking his head.

“I just – I just need a sec.”

“Do you want me to scent you again?” He takes a deep breath, and you can feel his ribcage shutter on the exhale. At the same time you also hear the echo of footsteps.

“Are those cleats?” you whisper.

“Damiano!? Damiano!?” The shrill sound of maternal panic is recognizable anywhere. It even makes a bystander’s hair raise.

“Take a left at the salt,” you call. Straddling Dami is not how you want his parents to find you, but he was so fragile that your social preferences didn’t matter. You pull his jersey back down and softly kiss his forehead, then stuff anything bloody under your bag. Your back is mostly to the entryway, but Dami must see them around the corner. He ducks his head against your neck, unable to face an audience. Very purposefully, you put on a calm, assured face with a closed lipped smile, hugging him casually.

Isabella, Matteo, and the coach rush into the room. It's better that Damiano doesn’t see his mother's expression. Matteo is holding a black, water proof case. He drops to the hard floor and opens it up to reveal the most elaborate first aid kit you’ve seen in your life. It's not just band-aids. There’s supplies to care for wounds, to stop major bleeding, even an ice chest for preserving fingers so they could be reattached. Isabella and Matteo worked in food engineering. They weren’t physicians or soldiers or harm reductionists or anything that would require this kit. 

Wide eyed, you watched Matteo open a pouch at the edge of the bag full of prescription bottles. He twisted the cap off of one, then another, then another while Isabella wrenched open a water bottle.  

“Damiano sit up,” she said, voice totally clinical. Her son might as well have been a stranger. It struck you as a bit harsh considering everything he’d gone through. Sure, she was the alpha of the pair, but shouldn’t that establish empathy? You felt movement under your hand and realized you’d been clutching the back of Dami’s head where he pressed his face against your neck in hiding. As he sat up, that same hand slipped to his jaw, always keeping contact and reassurance. For a moment, his parents froze. Your head immediately turned to see if anything had changed, but Damiano looked the same.

“He’s…he’s okay now.” You felt the need to defend Damiano. Maybe they’re staring because he has tampon sticking out of his nose

“This is just because I don’t have a first aid kit,” you explain, pointing at it.

“Inventive as always,” Isabella compliments, giving you a soft smile while handing Dami water. It seems odd, her warmth towards you, but not her injured child. Matteo dropped two red pills back into the bottle, but still placed three in Dami's hand. Two were round, one blue and the other white. There was also an oblong capsule that looked like Cleo’s morning vitamin. Damiano threw them all back at once and winced. You could feel his swallow hard which brought your awareness back to the fact you were sitting on his lap.

“I – I should um…” Awkwardly, you shift around, unwrapping your legs from Damiano’s waist. His free hand clutches your thigh. I should stay right here. 

“Sokoro, thank you for your discretion and understanding.” Matteo nods at Romero’s coach. 

“Julio, has been removed from the team and of course there'll still have to be a review, but I’ll make sure Damiano isn’t penalized for defending himself,” he announces.

“Thank you so much,” Dami finally speaks, voice broken.

“Of course, it's only fair,” the coah assures, taking his leave from the tense situation.

“But really, thank you, Coach Koro.” The amount of emotion in Dami’s eyes was so moving it made you tear up, so you could only imagine the effect on the person it was directed to. Seeing any alpha, especially one held in such high regard, humble himself was powerful. 

“And uh, y/n,” he clears his throat  self-consciously, hovering on the edge of the doorway. “You’ll be happy to know that Nikolai has been put on probation, so he won’t be at the next game.” You’d completely forgotten about that shit stain, but were filled with so much pride by the way your boyfriend had conducted himself. From being in too much pain to think, to then be communicative in just a few minutes was incredible.

“You did so good!” Daminao was bashful as you squeezed his arms in excitement, but his expression was conflicted.

“What did Nikoilai say to you?” Both his parents tensed and you knew better than to undo all of Dami’s progress.

 “He complimented my dress. His favorite flowers are sunflowers and I think he’d be hurt that you didn’t know that.” Dami rolled his eyes, but dropped it.

“You were lucky. Maybe we can let her go now, hm?” At first you don’t realize Isabella was talking about your position on Damiano’s lap. Immediately you’re embarrassed.

“Oh sorry, sorry,” you grimace, disentangling yourself from Damiano. “I was just um…sorry.” Panic sparks in his eyes so you lace your fingers together and sit so close you might as well be on his lap still. “I won’t leave until you tell me to go,” you whisper in his ear. Damiano squeezes your hand in response, shaking from adrenaline. 

“That could have gone a lot worse. Do you have any other injuries? How are your knuckles?” 

“No, I’m fine.” Matteo starts cleaning him up properly. 

“You got it under control by yourself this time, that was good.” His father is cautiously encouraging. “Scenting helped, I take it?” You stare at the floor, blushing so hard you could hear your heart rushing in your ears. Of course his parents could smell that you’d scented him. The fact that it would be perceptible to others hadn’t occurred to you in the moment.

“Y/n, cleaning the blood off, calming him down, you probably saved his place on the team,” Isabella says, emphatically. You scoff without thinking.

“Coach Sokoro obviously loves him!”

“That's because when he came in here, he saw Damiano. If he’d walked into something else…” She trails off, helping Matteo secure a butterfly bandage over Damiano’s split lip then dabbing on anti-edema gel. “Appearances are everything. Damiano being calm and collected, cuddling his doting girlfriend, no bloodied tissues on the floor. It really mattered that he saw that.” You don’t realize she’s complimenting you until you meet her eyes. For a moment, it's like looking into Isabella’s soul. She’s had to fight battles for Damiano that you would never understand. That's why she’s hardened.

“It must have been intimidating,” Matteo prompts. 

“What, coach Sokoro? No way,” you brush off, smiling because you’re happy to give an easy answer.

“No, coming in here. I’d have been frightened.” Looking around it does start to feel like a concrete coffin.

“I guess it's kinda creepy, but I wasn’t really thinking about it.” You’d been too focused on Damiano to notice those details. Matteo opens his mouth to speak then closes it and sighs. You were missing something.

“Seeing Damiano must have been…startling.” Isabella looks at you meainfully. Admittedly seeing Dami’s teeth covered in blood like the reenactment of one of Thalia’s TB documentaries was gross.

“Honestly, I’ve never seen that much blood in person. We don’t have an alpha at my house, but I’m sure it’s normal with two alpha sons.” Matteo stops packing up the kit and tilts his head, literally looking at you sideways. “I mean not ‘normal!’ Obviously it’s not normal, I just meant that uh, like more common. It could be a more common thing,” you try. Damiano squeezes your hand so you turn to him.

“They mean did I scare you.” His soulful hazel eyes are so beautiful. Touches of green and gold shone even in the harsh, synthetic light. People probably thought he had black eye lashes, but actually they were really dark brown, like the roots of his hair where the sun hadn’t lightened. He squeezes your hand again, reminding you that an answer was expected. 

“Why would I be scared of you?” you reply, dumbly. Damiano’s face lights up with so much affection. He smiles for the first time and if you don’t look hard, his teeth don’t appear to be stained with blood. The hand not clasped in yours caresses your knee. It was too easy to forget you weren’t the only people in the room, or universe.

“I told you she wasn’t scared of me,” he turns to his parents, saying the words with so much pride. Isabella purses her lips, like she had a lot of opinions to hold back.

“Oh you mean Vampiriano!” It finally clicks and you feel like a dumb-ass. “Yeah, I’m defective and not scared when I’m supposed to be.”

“Vampiriano?” Matteo repeats, incredulous. 

“Yeah! You know ‘cause –” you bring your hands up to your mouth and turn your pointer fingers into fangs. Bearing your teeth, you give your best angry vampire hiss. Damiano does that thing you love, where he laughs so hard he topples over and puts his head in your lap. Based on the way her eyebrows are raised you seem to have even thrown Isabella off. 

“You never thought he looks like a vampire? With his canines and black eyes and the – the super strength?” She blinks hard a couple times, struggling to process the comparison. “I really need to learn when to stop talking.”

“No, you’re perfect,” Damiano cackles.

“No, no, don't worry about that, darling. It’s just – when people are scared of something they don’t uh, describe it as you have. Like a um…”

“Comic book character,” supplies Matteo.

“Yes, exactly! I’ve just never heard an omega, not to generalize of course, but I’ve never heard an omega who wasn’t offput of the alpha transformation.”

“Well it’s only Vampiriano, that doesn’t scare me,” you clarify. “Ugh,” you make a noise of disgust as your hand runs through a lock of hair crusty with dried blood, wiping it on your dress.

“I can try to get the stains out of your clothes,” Matteo offers. “Any other biohazardous material?” You hand over all the stuff hidden under your backpack. Based on Damiano’s expression he hadn’t realized you’d purposefully concealed it.

“It's okay! This is a hand-me-down from Thalia.” It's actually your favorite dress, which is why you’d worn it, for Damiano.

“You love this dress,” Damiano counters, sitting up. Not as much as I love you. What.

“I’ll do my best then,” Matteo assures. He zips up the kit and stands, both parents ready. Damiano begins to stand and you pick yourself up off the floor. Walking out of the amphitheater into the parking lot, your brain starts to process the past however long. You had no idea that Daminano had a medical condition that required treatment. Why did he keep it from you? Did he not trust you? Immediately you chastise yourself for making this about yourself. Dami’s visceral reaction made it obvious that he was nothing less than completely terrified.

This is why he’d had to switch schools. Something had happened and the gossip between nosy parents had reached Nikolai. You think back to the man that rubbed your back when you felt exhausted at lunch yesterday and wondered what he was capable of. How much harm did a person have to cause for the event to be classified and warrant switching schools? His parents had a full battlefield triage kit in their car at all times to treat the wounds that resulted from Damiano losing control. Had he crippled someone? Had he accidentally killed someone? 

You’d become so distracted that you tripped on a parking curb and almost ate shit. Dami caught you by your collar before your knees hit the ground, pulling you upright.

“Woah, let me carry your backpack, baby.” He slipped it off your shoulders and slung it over his left side. This wrenched you from your hypothesizing. Maybe if he was young and it wasn’t actually his fault and he’d undergone preventative medical treatment you could live with it. You bargained with your morals until you found yourself seated inside the David’s family car with everyone looking at you.

“So, we need to have a talk,” Isabella announced. Dami’s hand was twitching like it wanted to reach out for yours, but he stopped himself.

“What did you do at your other school?” you blurt. Both his parents look at Damiano and you realize his hand is shaking, not twitching. He’s terrified to talk about this. No, he’s terrified to tell you. 

“People act like some big thing happened, like I had some testosterone fueled psychotic break and tore some innocent person apart, but that's not how it was.”

“Okay,” you let out a relieved sigh and folded your hands together. You slide onto the middle seat, bringing yourself closer.

“What's important is that these episodes have only ever been triggered by other alphas,” Matteo explains.

“I know he won’t hurt me. I’m not worried about that.” Damiano whimpers then brings his free hand up to cover his mouth and suppress the sound. Almost like he’s about to be sick. Dami must have been terrified that you would leave him, every day for almost three months. No wonder he couldn’t relax.

“Alright, let's take you home then.” 

“Can I – I wanted to stay for dinner, but I guess now…”

“I’m sure that your presence will be very, very welcome if you feel up for it,” Matteo assured, starting the car. Isabella elaborated upon Damiano’s confession during the drive.

“It started with these rage attacks at 11. Lots of alphas have anger issues so we took him to a specialist and found out it's a hormonal dysregulation. Usually they grow out of it, but around 13 alphas start being a risk to themselves and others. Treatment options have been…a journey,” she sighs.

“So that World War 3 med kit you have?”

“Standard issue with his diagnosis.”

“Right, okay.” There were a thousand questions you wanted to ask, but you wanted answers from Damiano, not from his mother while he sat right next to you. However, your boyfriend was the most drained you’d ever seen him, and you’d never seen him drained of energy at all. Even after a two hour grueling work out he was still bouncy and smiley.

“Maybe we should take this up again later.” Isabella nods slowly, visibly processing your words.

“That sounds like a very wise choice.” Damiano’s parents speak back and forth in low tones. Not so you’re unable to hear, but so you’re not distrubed. They plan dinner, future meetings with Romero’s collegiate sports board, reporting the incident to a small team of doctors. 

“You could have told me, Dami. I would have understood,” you whisper. His lower lip and chin tremble and he swallows hard.

“I know,” he says, barely audible. “I just can’t imagine what the fuck I’d do without you and its barely been – I just, I didn’t want to…to I don’t know.” You kiss his head and taste iron. 

“Mine.” 

“Yours,” he responds, voice breaking. It's important for Damiano to know, even covered in blood, even after keeping secrets, that you claim him. There isn’t anything else to be said right now, so you tune into what his parents are discussing. Isabella has pulled a checklist out of the glove box and they’re going over what needs to be replaced in the first-aid kit. This gives you an idea.

“Maybe I should carry a dose of the medication! I could get a mini first-aid kit. So if something like today happens again when Damiano’s away from his stuff, but I have my bag on me. 

“Sure, I’ll make that up for you tonight,” Matteo agrees, warmly. Isabella turns around to pat your knee. She doesn’t meet your eyes, but you can see her swallow hard. When you arrive at the house, her hand returns to your knee, signaling you not to get out as Damiano and Matteo do. 

“Y/n, this is incredibly intense and you’d already done a massive amount of emotional labor. So if you want me to take you home, everyone would more than understand.” You shook your head immediately.

“I want to be here for Dami.”

“And if that ever gets overwhelming come find me at any time, no matter what. Just because you can help someone, doesn’t mean you should expend all your inner resources doing so.” This felt like a conversation with your mother, except your mom had never had this talk with you. You nod to show understanding. 

“Can we go inside now?”

Notes: You might be asking why this chapter is little shorter than usual. It's because this was the only natural place I could cut it it between here and 13k. This chapter took two weeks because I couldn't condense it down far enough so chapter #7 will be here very soon. Enjoy!

Taglist:@asianhawkeye @biancathecool @bieberhoodforever @blackberryblossom @bohemianrainbow @boyswillbeexecutied @butkutee @ch3rryk4ii @cuzimitaliano @damoriaa @daisy0gf @donuts247usa @elvirabelle @ethaneskin @gr8rainbowpunk @hiraetheral @homesicam @iamtashaquinn @idyllicbutterfly @immrbrightsideeee @iosonoarina @ilwiwbysmv @katyldamusic @l0standn0tf0und @little-moonbeam-666 @maneslut @minnietmouse @obiw4n @ohdamiano @que--sera--sera @teacosea @teenyweenynightghost @thatonebraziliangirl @thegeminisgirl @theimpossiblehologramtree @solacestyles @stardustingold @superchrystaldrug @wasteddoubts @weareoddlydrawn @whore4damia @woahzz11 @xweirdxsceletton

[spadadargento]

Hey-yo, I am looking for a RP partner for Maneskin RP. Could be AU, or in general. I could RP as Ethan or Dami. I prefer Ethdam RP but I am open to ideas. Hit me up.

[ykaaaras]

The Preacher: Chapter 1

Pairing: DAMIANO DAVID x fictional female insert

Chapter summary: After badly incident, Damiano helps Medusa to remember what had happened.

Content: angst, hurt/comfort, priest Damiano David, supernatural, mention of religion, mention of possession, a little bit of fluff, anxiety, fear, hospital

Word count: 6.2k

Warnings: mention of suicide, mention of homicide

Medusa woke up in pain. Her legs felt numb and her half-open eyes were flickering painful bright light flashes. She couldn’t remember what had happened. Medusa tried to move. The pain just got even more intense and Medusa decided to stay in her position and wait till someone found her. On the other hand, she knew that she must get up because otherwise, she could be found by someone she wouldn’t expect to be found by. She couldn’t recall why she was laying here. Did someone try to kill her? Or maybe she tried to kill herself? Medusa released a quiet sigh full of pain. It was hard to even open her eyes fully. However, she had to find out where she was laying.

When she opened her eyes, the view didn’t focus immediately. But soon she realized that she was laying on cement paving. Somewhere above her head prevailed big noise. Far away on the horizon, she could see the rows of apartment buildings. Also, Medusa comprehended that she layed near water. Because of her perception of where she was Medusa felt cold and she started to shiver. She still couldn’t move her legs. She wanted to shout, but it would probably be hopeless and even impossible. Her mouth was locked. Someone should take her from here.

Finally, Medusa slowly and sorrowfully began to roll on her back. When she succeeded, above her she didn’t see the sky, but the hood of steal, which covered whole her eyesight. Medusa snored another sigh. What if her bones are broken, was the first thought after she got a little bit conscious. The pain was unbearable for real. She tried to kill herself, she remembered finally, and she got too scared. She didn’t succeed? Or maybe she was in hell? Suddenly she heard steps approaching, the sound of shoes clapping on the paving, while they were getting closer to her. Medusa got scared and closed her eyes, she wanted to let whatever that was think that she was dead. Her wish to be found suddenly disappeared. She was worrying that it wasn't the help that was coming. To be honest, she understood that she was rather dead.

The footsteps approached even more. Medusa put all the strength into herself and her body so she wouldn’t move, pant, or breathe even though it was very hard. The sleeve of her yellow hoodie was bloody and she couldn’t pay attention anywhere else. Blood, that means something was broken. But it would be stupid to hope that she’s whole, she fell from the bridge it was weird that she was alive in general. Someone stood beside her. Medusa got deadly scared. She felt that there were three men and a girl. Medusa tried to convince herself that she never met any of them, but deep inside she felt like she knew them from somewhere. They observed Medusa for some time. Then the girl leaned in front of Medusa, but she didn’t squat, just stood.

“You think she’s alive?” asked her. 

It prevailed a little, short silence among them. They were watching every shudder of Medusa, and she wondered how obvious that she was alive.

“I don’t know. Check it,” answered one of the men.

“Isn’t it obvious, can’t you see that she’s breathing?” the man who said it seemed quite perspicacious, or Medusa just couldn’t hide well enough. “Check her pulse, Victoria.”

Victoria squatted down and put two of her fingers on Medusa’s neck near her jawline. Feeling cold Victoria’s fingers Medusa flinched unwillingly. She felt how Victoria smiles.

“Alive,” informed and stood up.

Victoria — thought Medusa — a name so heard and voice very not of the stranger. Who was she? And what they intended to do to Medusa? Now there’s no point in pretending. She loudly moaned with fear and pain. Couldn't speak. When she tried to say something, she just felt that she gargled with blood. She hardly opened her eyes again and began to look around. At first, she was scared to turn her eyes to strangers. But when she dared, her eyes expanded even though it was painful. She saw them somewhere for real. But where the fuck? There was a man with long, black hair, the other was tall and blond, Victoria, and then it seemed there was... a priest? He wore a white collar that is worn by priests and he had a little pendant with a cross on his neck. Medusa frowned as much as her strength let. He seemed probably the most seen of all of them. And his smile with dimples on the cheeks looked intimate. Medusa didn’t get why he was smiling, she didn’t understand what they were talking about in general. She was in a strange trance, the only thing that she still cared about was what they were going to do to her. Suddenly, that priest came near her and squatted just like Victoria did before. He attentively looked at her face, then to her eyes and Medusa shut them, she felt a little bit uncomfortable.

“You don’t remember me?” he asked gently. Medusa shook her head a little bit. The priest sighed. “She needs to be taken to the hospital,” he said to others. “Call the ambulance.”

Medusa could hear a phone signal somewhere, someone was talking about an injured girl. The longer Medusa layed the colder she got and the pain was jolting even harder, so she started to shiver more and more than before. She felt how dark haired man saw that she was cold and that she’s shaking uncontrollably. He came and took off his jacket. He lifted Medusa a little, it hurt so bad.

“Shhh…” he comforted her and wrapped her in his jacket. Medusa could feel the warmth and a pleasurable scent. Eventually, her teeth calmed down chattering. She heard the sirens.

While she was ferried into the ambulance car, she couldn’t stop moaning, and when she was moving her pain got a dozen times bigger. But finally, she was laid down and bright and almost painful lights started to flash into her eyes.

“I’m going with her,” said someone of the four. “Ethan, you can take my car.”

A few minutes passed and the priest came to the car. He sat near a paramedic in front of Medusa’s bunk. Medusa got surprised. Why him? She was wearing an oxygen mask on her face which helped her breathe. Medusa was so scared, but she felt that he was looking at her and she could not turn her gaze to him. His eyes were slightly brown and now he looked gentle and good-willing. If Medusa ever saw him, she remembers only dark and predatory ones, which probably weren’t inherent for a priest. Something was wrong. Something was so weird.

He leaned towards her. Medusa shivered with fear. She turned her head to the other side so she would avoid eye contact.

“Don’t be scared,” whispered him. “No one is going to hurt you anymore.”

Hurt? Medusa thought that she tried to kill herself. If someone did hurt her, then who? Medusa hadn’t turned her eyes on him yet. Even though she wanted to ask him what he was talking about, she didn’t dare, and to be honest she wasn’t even able, even if her body was about to relax bit by bit, her tongue was still locked. Everything she could do was shake her head and that’s what she did, started to gently shake her head. She was sure that he was smiling.

“Everything is fine,” said he leaning back. “Now you’re safe.”

Medusa moaned quietly, his voice so calming and for a moment she thought she was safe for real. Lights became brighter and Medusa hardly shut her eyes. She still tasted the blood in her mouth. They injected her with some kind of medicine, and probably Medusa was creating the danger herself, but she was afraid that she was poisoned, but how the fuck she could not trust the priest? It got hard to breathe under that mask and she couldn’t understand why... Shouldn’t it help to breathe instead? Medusa began to squirm, she wanted to jump out of the car, ran into the street, and she wanted to kill herself again, but this time she wanted to succeed. When the paramedic noticed her squirming, he tied her hands tighter to her bunk. She felt a prick in her side.

~~~

She couldn’t believe it. She woke up in the hospital, and the first thing she saw was the dropper on the side, above her head. The first thing she heard was noise in the hallway. The first thing she realized was that she was not alone in the ward. Medusa turned her heavy head. The four people who were with her under, probably, a bridge, were here. Victoria has worn a white robe, the priest was leaning on the windowsill, the tall one sat on a chair in front of the bed, and a man with long hair was also with a robe and standing near Victoria. Medusa couldn’t understand why they were there and what they want from her. Maybe she had made some kind of crime? When Victoria noticed that Medusa woke up, she came closer.

“Medusa,” her voice tone was gentle and friendly but also strict. “Can you speak?”

Medusa wanted to shake her head saying no, but then she realized that maybe she can… A little bit.

“I… I…” she took a deep breath. “Don’t… Know…”

“Hmm…” Victoria chuckled quietly. “Could you answer a few questions?”

How could she answer any question if she doesn’t remember anything? Everything she saw in front of her eyes was the top of that bridge and later that priest in the ambulance car where was flashing bright lights. Medusa turned her eyes to him. He leaned his head against the window and looked directly into her face, when their gazes met he smiled a little bit, and friendly and softly blinked with one of his eyes. Medusa felt herself blushing. She was curious if Victoria noticed it. It’d be very awkward.

Medusa nodded. Victoria smiled again.

“Well, first of all, do you remember what happened? Do you remember who are we?”

Medusa shook her head.

“No,” said as clearly as she could. It was too scary what can come back to the head.

“And maybe if you think a little?” lifted her eyebrow Victoria, but seeing how Medusa was ‘thinking’, she realized that the girl’s brain was probably deeply damaged. “It’s okay,” Victoria comforted her. “You’ll remember it eventually.”

Medusa sighed hard in disagreement.

“...Or we can introduce ourselves… Once again. Would it be acceptable for you?” asked Victoria.

Medusa squirmed in her bed. If she’d remember, maybe she’ll feel any better, maybe the headache she felt because of trying to recall anything, would quiet down.

“Okay,” mumbled she. “I… Think it’d be better."

Victoria nodded. She reviews all the people now in the ward and starts to name them.

“I am Victoria de Angelis, a psychiatrist,” she showed to the man near her. “This is therapist Ethan Torchio, the guy sitting next to you is medicine student Thomas Raggi, and there,” she waved her finger to the priest. “A priest and exorcist Damiano David. We work with any kind of people who in any way, psychologically, emotionally, or physically are or were experienced possession. Does it say something to you?”

Medusa’s temples got tense. It was hard to digest this much information. However, her head started to flash flashbacks. The bridge she fell from… Could it be related to exorcism? Now she realized that whatever reason she felt from that fucking bridge was, it wasn’t suicide. Something frightened her. Medusa shut her eyes, then opened them again. Suddenly, she remembered the pain right before the fall. The pain was tearing. Someone was screaming very loudly, probably, herself. And she remembered words, a lot of words, like prayers. Then she ran away from the building she was in before and fell, that was everything she remembered for now. Did that… Damiano was with her? Or maybe they all? Perhaps her memories were lying to her. Now she couldn’t know if she can trust even her own head. Medusa looked at Victoria, can she trust her? She couldn’t recall what these people were even if they introduced themselves to her. They could lie to her, they could hurt her if they wanted. Maybe they were possessed themselves. Although Medusa was thinking such things, she realized that she didn’t answer Victoria’s question.

“I don’t know,” when she speaks it gets hard to breathe and she could still taste the blood in her mouth. “Probably not.”

Victoria sighed quietly.

“I think she needs special treatment,” said her to Ethan and he nodded.

Hearing this Medusa got confused and liven up a bit, she squirmed heavily.

“What’s the special treatment?” she asked even though it was too hard to do it.

Victoria and Ethan both turned to Medusa.

“Nothing scary, darling,” Victoria consoled her. “It’s just that we are gonna meet you more often from now on, more often than ever, more often than we did the last time, to ensure you a fledged safety.”

“Where I am?” Medusa suddenly felt the itch to know where she was. She got the fact that she was at the hospital but didn’t think about which till now. She remembered that Victoria introduced herself as a psychiatrist, not like the ordinary doctor.

“‘Casa di Cura Samadi’ psychiatry hospital of Rome,” Victoria’s voice was so casual that Medusa actually calmed down a little, even though she found out that she was at the psych ward.

Then Medusa got another thought if she was here and can’t remember anything, she still perceived that she had a family. Mom, dad, and maybe even a sister. They weren’t here. Remembering them was way easier, even though it seemed that they were light-years away from her, hiding somewhere in the corners of her brain. She wanted to know where they are now and how long she didn’t see them.

“Where are my parents?” this question made her voice shudder because she understood that she was afraid of knowing the truth. She wanted to come back to normal life even if now she was only imagining that she has one.

She saw how all four looked at each other. Then all of their glances stick to Damiano as if he should explain everything to her.

“Your parents…” began saying him. “Are high up above us.”

“Damiano,” said Victoria a little bit angrily. “Just say it so she’d understand.”

Damiano rolled his eyes. As a priest, he was quite weird…

“They’re dead, Medusa. I’m sorry.”

Medusa frowned. If she was in a different situation, a different position, it would be really sorrowful to hear that, but now it was hard to grasp. She even didn’t wanna ask what had happened to them. She felt like the answer wouldn’t cheer her up. Her hands started to itch so she frightened and squeezed her fists. What if she has done something to her parents herself, indeed? Her eyes fearfully stuck to Damiano. It was he who told her that her parents are dead. It means he knows more. But even though the fear to hear something she wouldn’t like to hear was strong, however, she must know. It was her right.

“But… But… What happened?” she asked. “In… In general?” Because of the blood taste in her mouth, she felt nauseous.

It was a short silence in the ward. All eyes stuck to Damiano again. He probably knew what happened the best. He probably was there when it happened.

Damiano switched position, he sat on the windowsill.

“Should we tell her?” asked his colleagues.

At first, they just shrugged, then nodded. Damiano sighed, he looked Medusa in the eyes. Medusa was looking at him. Her eyes were wet.

“You were possessed,” he explained. “You and your friends arranged the show about the four horsemen of the apocalypse from biblical legend, you thought you were the Death,” he scratched the top of his head as if he knew that what he was about to say will be the most unpleasant part. “You killed your parents and from three of your friends, the only one left — your sister. She’s with us, we have her. Your friends were never possessed, all the time while you thought you were real Death, they were just playing… When the exorcism was performed on you, you succeed to run away from the building, but not for long, when you felt that the demon isn’t in you anymore, you felt empty and jumped off the bridge. That’s all, now you’re here,” he got silent and tilted his head so he could see Medusa’s reaction.

Medusa’s eyes were wide open, she sat just like she was frozen. Her eyes were even wetter, it looked like she was about to cry.

“It’s safe here,” added Damiano comforting. “There’s nothing in you anymore.”

“But…” stuttered Medusa. “I?... Did… Kill them.”

Damiano nodded.

“How?” asked Medusa again.

“It will be better if you wouldn’t know, sweetheart. I’ve told you a lot, it’s enough stress for this time.”

Victoria, Ethan, and Thomas who were listening, now moved a little bit. The nurse sneaked into the ward and turned the light on. It was getting dark outside. So many things started to spin in Medusa’s head. She has a sister but can’t remember even her name.

‘Sweetheart…’ Medusa thought. What kind of relationship she had with Damiano, besides that he was a priest? She felt him a quite warm feeling and attachment, even though she understood that only now. The feeling came unexpectedly, something in Damiano’s movements reminded her of that, but he just changed his legs' position from one to another and crossed his arms on his chest.

Medusa felt tired. Exhausted. She just woke up but her body wasn’t relaxed. But she was afraid to fall asleep, afraid because they could come back. Medusa was used to seeing chimeras in the city between corners of the churches and funny spirits from various epochs, she even used to give them names if they wouldn’t have them already. However, now everything didn’t seem so fun. Now she was scared of them. Damiano, psychiatrist Victoria, and her colleagues will leave now and she’ll be left alone with her horrors again. She didn’t wanna that Damiano leave.

“Well, I think it’s time for us to go,” said Victoria. “You, Medusa, should rest and sleep for real. In case of emergency, the nurse is waking in the hallway.”

Medusa shook her head. Victoria stopped surprised, but didn’t say anything. Damiano also stood as if he was thinking if he should leave or maybe stay. He really saw that Medusa wanted that he’d stay here with her. Finally, he probably decided to leave with others, but he was stopped by the voice of Medusa.

“Damiano,” she said quietly. “Could you stay?”

Damiano smiled gently.

“Well, maybe I can. For tonight,” answered him watching how Medusa calmed down a bit and her worrying facial expression turned into relaxed, and she squinted a little bit as if she’d want to sleep indeed. From her mouth escapes an unwilling yawn.

When they left, Damiano came near the bed and leaned onto the handhold. His sleeves were rolled up and Medusa could see his tattoos.

“So you wanna say something to me?” asked him still smiling.

Medusa lowered her eyes. She wanted to know everything and how it happened. But she didn’t know how she should ask him to tell her this. She wanted that Damiano would be here when she gets sleepy. She felt like he was the only of those people whom she can trust. Is it because he was a priest? Medusa was never this religious to crave the closeness of a priest. she even was afraid of the church, it's teaching, and God. But this man was different, he did something to her that made her want that he wouldn’t ever leave.

Damiano came around the bed and sat near Medusa. He knew exactly what she wanted to know and he knew every single answer, to what she cared about. But he didn’t intend to say anything anyway unless she ask it herself. Damiano guessed that many of those things can frighten her. He was interested can she still see the creatures and spirits that she saw before the exorcism. He squinted and ran his eyes around the corners of the ward.

“Are we alone?” inquired him smiling cunningly and seeing how Medusa die away a little. She didn’t understand what he has in mind, so she nodded cowardly.

“Why?” her iris were moving while she was looking at Damiano, they were full of fear and anxiety. “Someone else… Has to be here?” when she talked her voice was shivering, she didn’t want that someone would interfere between her and Damiano.

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

“I think there’s nobody here,” her heart was jumping, she felt like something should appear here or that she has to see something. Damiano noticed it and comforted her.

“It’s okay, Dussy, if you don’t see anything in the ward, it means there’s nothing here.”

His words calmed Medusa down. She released a silent sigh full of relief. Her gaze caught Damiano’s hand placed near her hip. She wanted to take it and squeeze it, so she lifted her palm slightly, hoping that Damiano will notice what she wants. She saw a mischievous smirk on his face when he took her palm himself. What a unique priest he was, the thought was flying through Medusa’s brain. When they were sitting in silence for a while, finally Medusa found enough courage in herself to ask:

“What happened to me?”

Damiano lifted his eyebrow.

“I thought I’ve told you what happened to you already.”

Medusa shook her head in disagreement. That what he said was too little for her to understand what happened in very truth. Damiano sighed but not pitiful more like with a little surprise. He considered what he should say.

“You don’t remember what life you lived before jumping off the bridge? Not even a little bit?”

“No,” silently admitted Medusa. “Just I somewhat remember you.”

Damiano’s eyes got wide open for a second.

“What do you remember about me?” asked him with pure curiosity in his voice.

Medusa shrugged. She recalled his aura, maybe a scent or a voice, just like others but way stronger. She remembered… Affection. Dependence. She couldn’t understand it herself.

“Just…”

Damiano chuckled quietly, so Medusa did the same. Her laugh cheered Damiano up and now to be honest he didn’t wanna tell her anything so he wouldn’t ruin her now little bit improved mood. Saw how Medusa slightly smiles, take a breath and lower her eyes. Then she got upset and stuck pleading glance to Damiano again.

“But why?... Did I jump off the bridge?”

Before everything, Medusa used to go to school. It should have been her last year, but on her eighteen birthday, she celebrated with a knife in her hand, against her parents’ and friends’ throats. Now Medusa was a little worried that she could go to jail, she was an adult when she did that after all. But the scariest was the fact that she really did that herself, it seemed even stupidly unreal, incomprehensible and so so sick. When she thought about it her hand starts to shake, and the nausea of the terror begins to pulse in her stomach. Even though she couldn’t perceive it yet, she knew that a few hours will pass and she will start to miss her parents and friends. She knew that she’ll be filled with self-loathing and she’ll start to regret she didn’t die while jumping off the bridge. Which, to be honest, was really very weird. How?

Damiano thought a little, it wasn’t easy to find words that could explain to a girl why she killed so many people.

“You’ve read a book. About four horsemen of the apocalypse, the book marked a deep impression in your brain, just like teenagers start to obsess with tv shows and, well, books as well. Instead of creating a blog on the internet and writing fan fictions, which would be quite weird, because the book was written in the past century, you’ve decided to recreate the plot in the form of a comedy,” Damiano watched Medusa’s reaction to this. She listened with lowered eyes. Damiano could only imagine how she feels. How fucking scared she had to be now. “It doesn’t say anything to you?”

Medusa shook her head once again. She couldn’t recall what kind of book it could be.

“What kind of book that was?”

Now Damiano shook his head a little bit, he slightly smiled and released a small giggle.

“I won’t tell you, because what if you’ll decide to read it again one day.”

“In the form of a comedy?” asked her. “What could that be?”

“Well, the game, small tricks with friends. To neighbors, classmates, family and etc. I don’t think that it was a serious intention to hurt anybody. But playing with such things when you’re in such a mental state as you were then, is really dangerous. Biblical topics aren’t funny after all, they can come true fast if only someone has a wish.”

Medusa got cold. She kind of heard what Damiano said, but her brain didn’t process it. She was distracted by the feeling that there was someone else in the ward. But then she ran her eyes around the room, she didn’t see anything so she came back to Damiano and tried to remember what he was talking about.

“Did I have some illness?”

“Not really,” replied Damiano. “However, you experienced some kind of traumatic events, parents’ divorce, school stress, and difficulties, seasonal depression, and also you showed symptoms of false memory syndrome, which can seriously drive you crazy.”

Medusa nodded, even though she wasn’t sure what that is. She didn’t wanna ask, it would be stupid to ask about feelings you felt yourself. But on the other hand, he was a priest and probably knew what she was feeling better than she did herself. She had no idea what she should ask next, finding out other details was timid.

“Do you want to know more?” asked Damiano as if he had read her mind.

Medusa nodded her head hesitantly. Damiano noticed her confusion.

“Well, we may not speak about it,” he slapped his palms gently on his knees and wanted to stand up. “I think it’s time for you to sleep.”

“No no,” started to protest Medusa. “Tell me more, tell me everything.”

Damiano sat again on the bed.

“It could be disturbing,” he warned.

“I know,” admitted Medusa. “But maybe if you’ll tell me I’ll remember something?”

Damiano shrugged. Medusa noticed that it didn’t seem he’d believe in this.

“Why I didn’t die jumping off the bridge?” Medusa remembered the fact that seemed the most illogical to her.

“Luckyness?” laughed Damiano. “There was still the demon’s power in you that affected you physically. That’s my theory.”

Medusa frowned her eyebrows. That sounded horrible. She squeezed her blanket in her fists. Damiano was talking to her so gently even though he said such terrible things and Medusa started to feel like crying. Tears appeared in her eyes, but they didn’t run. Something scratched in the corner of the ward, behind the nightstand, and Medusa flinched immediately turning to that side.

“What?” asked Damiano and Medusa felt the interest in his voice. He didn’t hear it?

“Nothing…” Medusa lied, not knowing why. “It just seemed to me.”

Damiano nodded incredulously. But his gaze was still stuck in the corner in which Medusa was turning her head. He knew very well that she had heard something there. A girl could have seen supernatural creatures from her birth and Damiano was sure that even after this accident nothing really changed. Even though he sent away the demon which made her think that she was Death and kill people, he couldn’t cure her of this ‘illness’. Not yet. Medusa shivered but still wanted to know what happened next.

“How did it go that... I’ve killed them all?” she asked and even from that word she felt bitterness in her mouth.

“Because of bad being of yours and involving into the role, the demon possessed you, not so hard to grasp, huh?” Damiano grinned, but it wasn’t funny for him, he wasn’t mocking. “When everything started to turn crazy, your parents tried to reach your psychiatrist…”

“Victoria?” Medusa interrupted him, remembering that the doctor who was here not so long ago introduced herself as a psychiatrist. That’s why Medusa felt that she knew her from somewhere.

“Yes,” Damiano agreed. “It’s her. You used to visit her for some time before everything. She used to prescribe you sleeping pills and meds that help you to concentrate at school.”

Medusa was curious why she did badly at school, but she didn’t wanna that Damiano would discontinue telling her what happened to her parents and friends. It was so weird to perceive, how interesting what you felt and what life you had, while you don’t remember anything. The sound from behind the nightstand caught Medusa’s attention again, she curled up cowardly, whatever that was, she was the only one who heard it and she got more and more scared. What if that thing there looks scary, or even worse — it can hurt her? Maybe she should tell Damiano, maybe he could help, he was a priest after all… 

“You didn’t like that your parents wanted to help you, usually demons hate when someone is trying to give help to their prey. And your friends got bored playing this game, because whatever you did something always got wrong or unsuccessful, usually what you wanted and never them. Long story short, during one sleepover demon cut through their throats,” Damiano got silent. “Your sister is still alive though, she helped to find doctors and doctors helped to find me. Now you’re clean,” he added.

Damiano wasn’t sure how much he can help saying that she was safe and free from the demon, because knowing that you killed all your loved ones now in any way should feel wrecking. He saw how a single tear dropped down Medusa’s cheek. She sat stuck her eyes to some corner of the ward, but not at the same where she heard the sound. She wasn’t thinking about the creature right there hiding behind her nightstand, she was overwhelmed by the horror which was covered by what Damiano just told her. Perception probably hit hard. One moment Damiano doubted if he did good, however, then came a thought that she deserves to know, she won’t live without any memories and especially this cruel forever. That would be even more inhumane than she felt now.

Prevailed the silence. Medusa began to snort until it became sobbing. Her crying sounds filled the whole room. Damiano looked at her face, how she was covering it, trying to stop dropping tears. Then he gently took her hand and exposed her face. Medusa wasn’t looking him in the eyes, she tried to shut her own as much as possible.

“Dussy, look at me,” comforting and almost lovingly he said to her. “Come on, look…”

Damiano knew that now he couldn’t let a girl out of his sight never. She was the most vulnerable than ever. He also was curious. Curious about what she sees and if he can send it away, even though that not as like the usual demon. He and the group of medics are going to work with this girl as much as it takes.

Medusa didn’t dare to look at Damiano. She didn’t dare to open her eyes in general. She rather doesn’t see anything than know in what reality she was. But Damiano started quietly and softly talking to her.

“I know that it’s insanely scary, but you have to understand that it’s over now… Leave your pain to God. You didn’t do that of your own will, Medusa, I know that you’ll miss your parents and your friends, but we’ll survive that grief and horror. Okay?”

Medusa was shaking her head.

“No…” she said silently. “It can’t be…”

Medusa imagines how she should have done that, how it should have looked like. She, a knife and the blood of loved ones on her hands. All the scariest views were standing in front of her eyes and none of them probably was as scary as it was in reality.

Damiano released a sigh full of sympathy. How else he could have helped her?

“Medusa, you must look at me,” even if he didn’t want to this time his voice sounded demanding and even strict.

Medusa shuddered because of his changed voice tone. She reluctantly and cowardly pulled her hand off her cheeks and hardly met Damiano’s glance. He smiled.

“That’s it. Just like that.”

“I’m scared,” whispered Medusa. She looked at Damiano’s face, it seemed that she was asking for all the possible help and safety that he can provide. Finally, she even decided to admit that, besides everything, she heard sounds from behind her nightstand. “There, behind the nightstand is something… I’m so scared.”

Damiano looked behind it. He was interested in what kind of creature she’d see there, but he didn’t wanna make her look. It was enough stress for this person tonight.

“I understand that you think that what you hear is real, but there’s nothing, trust me. No one can’t hurt you. A little bit unpleasant and that’s it,” he told her. “If you want, I can bless you and the room, if the creature is evil, felt God it’ll leave.”

Medusa snorted and nodded.

“And if it isn’t evil, I’ll still hear it?”

Damiano shrugged.

“Probably, but it couldn’t hurt you.”

Medusa nodded one more time.

“Okay,” said she quietly. “You can… Bless me…” it was a weird word for her, she had never been blessed before. She hasn’t understood how it works, religious classes at school were boring and lifeless, just Damiano looked different to her. He did something to her, she’ll never forget, even though she doesn’t remember how it happened.

Damiano switched his position. He leaned back and the dignity that was inherent to a priest appeared in him, but at the same time, he seemed relaxed and calm. He lifted one hand and made a cross sign in front of Medusa.

“In the name of Father, and the Son and Holy Spirit. Amen,” said he gently and then softly touched Medusa’s forehead with his thumb drawing there a small cross.

Medusa feeling his finger on her forehead closed her eyes and blushed. Down her cheek dropped an unwilling tear again.

“Here you go,” smiled Damiano. “Now you could sleep in peace.”

Medusa opened her eyes and quickly swiped her tear with her baby pink pajama’s sleeve. She didn’t know how she should feel. Will Damiano leave now? She didn’t want to sleep alone, even if nurses were waking in the hallway, Damiano was her small land of safety, at least for now. She still could hear the sound but she calmed down knowing that she has to trust Damiano. No one could hurt her while he was here, and that was the reason why she didn’t wanna him to leave. Horror about the parents and friends had come in waves, making her flinch.

“Are you going to leave?” asked her with fear. She was scared of a positive answer. “Please stay,” added quickly.

It’s going to be hard for Medusa to sleep. Seemed the night was full of nightmares. She needed, that someone would be here beside her when she’ll woke up at night not knowing where she is and screaming in pain with every flashback. She was so scared of it, but that was what gonna follow her for no one knows how long. Maybe for decades, maybe for whole her life, and even after death…

“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart,” Damiano comforted her.

Medusa released a sigh of relief. She adjusted her pillow and lay down. She was still looking at Damiano, at his face, and saw how he smiles. Then she gathered enough courage to take his hand again, but this time herself. His palm was so soft and warm. She squeezed it hard, and Damiano wasn’t resisting. Medusa closed her eyes, if he’ll be here and held her hand, maybe she will succeed to sleep for real, maybe the nightmare will be easier.

“You’ll be here while I sleep?” asked Medusa again, she wanted to be sure.

“Yes yes, I’ll always be here,” he calmed her down. She squeezed his hand so hard that he even felt pain, but he didn’t mind. Let the girl settle down.

Damiano knew that now they’ll spend so much time together. He knew that now he has to protect her from she wouldn’t be doing any bad things. Now he was about to take her with him and be her protector for as much time as it takes.

A/N: This is a very first fic I've ever written. The story will go on :) Thank you for any kind of attention. ❤️

Masterlist 🩸

[thedyingswann]

Ngl I really need someone to write a Yandere fic, but it’s based off of the song Read Your Diary by Maneskin. It’s just a piece of perfection waiting to happen. 🥲

[pjisskullourful]

ᴅɪʀᴛʏ ʟᴀᴜɴᴅʀʏ

👙Ethan/reader

NSFW🚨 nasty smutterific filth ° Ethan Torchio/female reader insert ° If you like my dirty laundry, There's no need for you to clean me- your boyfriend definitely doesnt hate it when you leave your dirty panties lying around the house wordcount::: 5,444 ° commissioned by my baby jace (@wow-ihateithere) 💋 another super fun idea, its always great breaking new ground with you! [requests are open] [but commissions are priority! snatch up the 7th spot in my cue!] ° lyrics stolen from adore delano ° [ITA:] cazzo: fuck

Dustin' off my dirty laundry Get to work if you want wet dreams

That post workout flow of endorphins was gone. You weren’t feeling very energised as you got out of your car, heading for the front door of your flat. The only thing you were interested in was a shower, so ready to get all traces of the sweat accumulated at the gym off of your body.

You were expecting to find Ethan in a similar low-energy mood - your boyfriend had been struggling with jet-lag since getting home from tour last night. You anticipated a night of nothing more adventurous than snuggling, and maybe catching up on the new episodes of Futurama. And you didn’t need anything more than that to be happy.

You unlocked the front door and stepped inside to find only one lamp switched on in the living room. This, coupled with the general absence of noise in your home, led you to thinking that Ethan was asleep. You imagined curling up in the bed beside him, lying your head on his chest because it was far superior to the pillows that had been your only option these past weeks. Your cat, Pluto, was asleep in his typical spot on the coffee table, not even turning his head in your direction.

By the door, you removed your sneakers. Then you set off in the direction of the bedroom. You could see its door was shut, but around its edges a source of light was visible. This didn’t strike you as odd, you figured the door was shut to keep Ethan from being bothered by any potential burst of energy from Pluto (wanting to avoid him tearing into the room with a case of the zoomies).

Before turning the knob, you heard some noises coming from the other side of the door. They were so muffled that you almost didn’t notice them. They were both out of place and familiar at the same time. Your first thought for the source was that Ethan was talking in his sleep (something you had witnessed a couple of times in the year since the beginning of your relationship).

But when you turned the knob and opened the door, you found that Ethan wasn’t asleep. He was sitting upright on your bed, with two parts of his body in motion.

You could now identify those noises as moans, even though they were still somewhat muffled. They were muffled by the piece of fabric that covered his mouth.

He was masturbating - his hand jerking his dick as his pants and briefs sat bunched up around his ankles. With his eyes shut, you were unnoticed as you took a couple of silent steps into the room. You took in all of the details of this scene you had stumbled upon, fascinated in a way that made your cheeks fill with heat. The speed that he was working his dick at made you think that he hadn’t just begun, he was clearly very warmed up (potentially close to his orgasm). Viewing his pure and unashamed arousal was stirring something inside of you, you were no longer only thinking about taking that shower.

Looking at what he held to his nose, you thought there was something familiar about that particular shade of lilac. He kept his nose buried in it, his hand holding steady even through the shaking of his limbs.

You almost gasped when you recognised that piece of material - it was a section of your panties. Specifically, the pair of underwear that you had taken off your body this morning. After removing them you must have left them on the ground by your side of the bed, where the lingerie had gotten Ethan’s attention, as well as getting him hard.

You were thoroughly surprised and you couldn’t tear your eyes off of him. You weren’t sure how to react, but you knew that you didn’t want to do anything to discourage him.

You licked your lips, questioning if now was the right time to speak, even as you began to talk. “Sweetheart?”

His reaction was immediate, he ripped the underwear away from his face and curled them up tightly in his fist, almost as if he was trying to make them disappear. His hand swiftly left his cock as he scooted across the bed, moving away from you. His face was bright pink, it looked to be hot enough to instantaneously melt an ice-cube. His eyes were wild and you noticed the way he only briefly looked at your face, proceeding to look anywhere but.

“Cazzo, I’m sorry, I’m really- I- shit.” He said breathlessly.

“You don’t have to apologise.” You soothed. “I feel like I should be the one apologising, ‘cause I interrupted.”

He hadn’t yet decided how he wanted to sit, squirming as he tried to reposition so as to somewhat conceal his cock. “No, it’s fine, it’s- I guess I just lost track of time. I didn’t even hear you come in.”

You keenly smiled at him as you made your way over to the bed. “So, what’cha doin’?”

He looked down, his eyes on the nightstand. “I got a little horny.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” He repeated hollowly, he had moved the hand holding the underwear behind himself. But you weren’t about to forget that they were there.

You stopped at the side of the bed. “You decided to have a different kind of workout while I was at the gym, huh?”

“Something like that.”

“Hey, what’s going on?” You asked, you were trying to coax him into looking up at you. You stroked your fingers through the loose strands of hair that were threatening to fall in front of his face. “Are you alright?”

“I’m embarrassed here, love.” He told you. “Look at what you walked in on me doing.”

“So? You’ve walked in on me playing with myself before.”

He shook his head, which he was still holding down. “That’s totally different. You knew that I was coming in. It was part of the seduction, it was planned, it was…” He trailed off with a huff. “And you didn’t just walk in on me masturbating, I was sniffing your dirty panties.”

That made everything crystal clear in your head. There had been a secondary scenario that you had been putting together, seeking out the less obvious explanation. You had wondered if he had taken it upon himself to do some laundry, resulting in the clean lingerie being close at hand when he had needed something to muffle his enthusiastic reactions to the masturbating.

But the situation was exactly as it had first appeared - he had sought out the worn garment, sought out the smell of your cunt as he got himself off.

“And that’s fine.” You said simply.

He looked up at you, an expression of incredulity on his face. “What?”

“What?”

This only served to deepen the furrow in his brow. “No, that’s what I said, you can’t just repeat what I say, that’s not how conversations work.”

“Right.” You said, slowly beginning to make the moves to sit in his lap. When he didn’t deter you in any way, you lowered yourself down and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. You were trying your best to make eye contact, even as he continued to act very shy. “It’s okay, really. You have nothing to apologise for and I don’t want you to be embarrassed. I know that it’s easier said than done, but could you give not being embarrassed a try…” You swooped in to give him a kiss on the cheek. “...for me?”

“I guess.” He said. “Truly, you don’t have a problem with this?”

“Why would I?”

“It’s a perverted thing to do, there’s a reason why I was doing it in secret. It’s nasty, it’s- it’s…”

You had taken to stroking your fingers along the back of his neck as you listened to him gathering his thoughts. “Oh, sweetheart, I would have thought that you knew me well enough by now to know that nastiness is fine with me. I’m a fan of it, in fact.”

This earned you what felt like the first substantial eye contact since you had arrived home. You savoured it, the smile that you had been wearing broadened.

“You promise that you’re not repulsed?” He asked earnestly.

“I promise.” You told him immediately. “I’m just surprised and kind of curious.”

He had placed one of his arms around your waist, happy to keep sharing this closeness with you. You were glad that he was no longer trying to run, he had become present and it brought warmth to your heart.

He leaned in a little closer and you could see those hints of stress were gone from his handsome face. “What are you curious about?”

“I can ask…?”

He nodded as he rested his hand high up on your thigh. “You can. I’ll tell you when I don’t wanna answer.”

You nibbled on your bottom lip as you put extra consideration into what words you were picking. This moment felt fragile and you handled it as such, not wanting to disrespect him in any way. You wanted only positive things to come from this conversation.

“Were you horny before you picked the panties up? Or were they the catalyst?” You asked.

“Catalyst.” He said. “I was getting back into bed from the bathroom and I didn’t even see them, I just stood on them. When I saw what it was, I picked them up. And before I knew what I was doing, I was sniffing them. Then one sniff turned into another, and another and, well you saw how that ended up. The aforementioned nastiness.”

“Wow.” It was all that you could manage to say while your mind was rushed with so many thoughts, and fantasies. You were getting back some of that energy that had dwindled following your workout.

“Yeah, it’s dirty, I know.” He said.

“It’s hot.” You said, asserting what you had been thinking. “You’re saying that I don’t even have to be in the same room as you to get you so turned on that you have to touch yourself… That’s crazy hot, love.”

“Do you think so?”

“Fuck yes!”

He was wearing a small smile and all of his issues with eye contact were seemingly behind him. “What would you think if I told you that this wasn’t my first time doing this?”

“Really?” You asked, your heart beating faster.

“Yeah. It’s not, like, a regular habit or anything. But a couple of times in the past- one time, before we were living together, you left a pair at my place, and smelling them just got me feeling this undeniable way.” He said, with his hand rubbing your thigh. “I don’t know what other questions you have, but what it basically boils down to is I like your scent, like, a lot.”

This was a compliment that you hadn’t realised you needed to hear.

One of your greatest insecurities was how much you sweated. The excessive sweating had come on as a side effect of anxiety meds, prescribed two years ago, and it wasn’t just uncomfortable. It had spurred worries regarding your appearance (you were often regarding yourself as a sweaty mess), especially the way it could disrupt your applied makeup.

Then there were the fears of carrying a terrible odour with you. You had tried every deodorant that promised to stop sweat. You kept a travel-size bottle of perfume in your backpack at all times. You were vigilant, never leaving the house without first taking a thorough shower.

Some people feared public speaking, you were scared to be perceived as smelling bad by anyone at any time. It was like you were always waiting to be ashamed.

You were the one who did the laundry, rejecting Ethan’s offers to take on the chore. Because your dirty clothes were gross. You didn’t want him to have to deal with the unintentionally filthy part of your existence, you always wanted to give him only your best and the embarrassment of your sweating was your secret to keep.

But he had shattered that belief, revealing to you just how much time had been wasted on insecurities. He loved you, even those parts of you that you wished away.

“I guess you could call it a guilty pleasure of mine.” He said.

You turned your body to face his, repositioning a little in his lap. “Maybe my post-gym shower can wait.”

“It definitely can wait.”

You had moved to bring both of your knees to the mattress, resting on either side of him. “Yeah, you can get your fix straight from the source.”

You tilted your head to the side, watching his eyes flutter shut as you leaned in closer. Your lips met, a sharp inhale from him indicating his excitement. You wrapped your arms snugly around him as your mouths worked together, finding the pace to match your desires.

He placed his hands firmly to your back, bringing your chest flush to his. There wasn’t any room for worries, you were too busy sinking into this embrace, with all of its enticing potential.

He manoeuvred his mouth, closing his lips around your lower lip. He gently began to suck on this and you responded by grinding in his lap a little. Moving your hips in a slow circle allowed you to gain the knowledge that he was still erect. This gave you a swell of endorphins, a rush powerful enough to block everything else out.

“Dirty boy…” You moaned, your words only slightly impeded by having him still attached to your lip.

He leaned back with a sigh. “I know.”

You moved your hands to the top of his covered pectorals. “You’re, like, the dirtiest boy.”

“I am.” He said, going along with your teasing.

You pushed, putting some distance between the two of you in favour of getting him flat on his back. Your hands went to the hem of the old T-shirt he had been wearing, you lifted it away from his skin and he assisted in taking it off. You ran your hands along the ridges of his torso as you leaned down. You covered his mouth in kisses, hearing his breathy moans in between.

“You don’t have to hide it from me. Let me get dirty with you.” You said, looking into his soulful eyes.

After stealing another kiss from him, you got up. From a drawer of his bedside table, you pulled out a condom and handed this over to him.

Instead of assisting in its application, you remained standing off to the side of the bed. You started to remove the stretchy clothes that you had worn to the gym, too curious, too turned on to not watch his progress as you did so. You left your clothes on the floor and he got his legs free from the pants and underwear he had still been wearing.

Once naked, he repositioned, moving up to lay his head on the pillow. Expectantly, he kept his eyes on you, waiting for your next move. He was allowing you to set the tone.

And you had plenty of things in mind.

You climbed back onto the bed to climb on top of him. His eyes explored your nakedness as you straddled his hips. His hands caressed up-and-down your sides as you settled on top of him.

“I love you, sweetheart.” He said.

You had been expecting only dirty talk from here on. But this wasn’t an unwelcome thing to hear, it brought a smile to your face as you leaned down, getting more kisses from him. “I love you too.”

His hands stroked across your cheeks as he reached up for your hair. “I just want you to know how appreciative I am…” He had that trademark ‘serious Ethan’ look on his face as he looked into your eyes. “You took a moment that I thought was bad, really bad, I felt terrible. But now you’ve totally turned it around, you’ve made it so much better.”

“And I’m not done making it better.” You said.

You kissed him with your heart fluttering in your chest. You were feeling a different kind of motivation, inspired by the collision of lust and love. It was an irresistible cocktail that you indulged in, seeking a deeper kiss.

As your mouths moved together, you sought to satisfy the other desires in you, beginning to work your hips. You kept your thighs tensed as you rolled your hips back, bringing your wet slit to his erection. You shared your arousal with him in this new way, stroking him with your cunt.

He was already so eager and it wasn’t long before he started to move beneath you. His arms were wound so tightly around you as he squirmed, seeking to create friction between you.

You whined on his lips as you began to stretch yourself open on his tip. You eased yourself down and he remained still, allowing you to be in charge of this moment. You moved one of your hands into his hair, wrapping your fingers around some strands as the pressure built up inside of you.

Your pussy gripped him as you got yourself lower, your hips getting closer to his. You swiped your tongue back-and-forth along his upper lip, feeling that familiar shape before you pushed inside. You massaged across the roof of his mouth, experiencing more of his taste.

He was breathless as you pulled away. You shifted your body weight to your knees as you sat up, his arms slipping from around you. He put his hands to your waist as he stared at you. You could see the wildness in his eyes, so much passion waiting to be set free as you steadied yourself.

His hands gripped down, squeezing your ample hips when you started to thrust your hips into him. His mouth fell open and you could feel how much his shaft was throbbing inside of you. More excitement rushed into you with each rock in your developing rhythm.

Unsurprisingly, his sense of restraint wasn’t as prominent as was typical, leading him to moving you into a faster tempo. He didn’t hold back from snapping his hips into you, his swollen balls slapping on your ass as he strived to satisfy the desperation built up inside of him. You squeezed your thighs tighter against him, intending to stick with him as you reached that next level of pleasure.

The sensations swarming your body only grew more powerful, infusing your movements with a sense of greed as you continued to meet his every jerk. Shutting your eyes, you listened to his every failed attempt to catch his breath punctuated by his ecstatic whimpers.

His hands squeezed you tighter, trimmed fingernails digging into your skin as he got faster again. His hungry pumps came in, getting you closer to the peak with this exciting massage.

As his hips stuttered and moved unpredictably, you knew that he was on the verge of capturing his climax. You writhed with him, trying to stay as consistent as possible. His whines were getting louder, and with absolutely nothing to cover his mouth this time around, you were able to hear exactly what you were doing to him.

With his back arched, he could stroke deeper into you. You were getting short on breath and in the darkness of your shut eyes, you were seeing stars blooming to life.

“Oh, love- ah, unf…” He moaned in response to your continued grinding.

His tensed body shot up, recklessly colliding into you one final time. Your nerves were on fire at the feeling of having him at your sweet spot. But the delicious pressure here was short-lived.

He rocked back as he began to disappear into his orgasm. His hands released on you and he was falling out of anything that resembled a rhythm. Gasping for air, he got lost in it all.

Despite the tension that possessed your body, begging to be resolved, you stilled yourself. You gave him a pause to come back from that intense high. You looked down to where he lay, one arm placed over his eyes as he worked at catching his breath. He had unravelled for you, stuck with the after-effects of that for the moment.

You waited, your eyes on him as you remained committed to this elevated state. You watched the rhythmic, predictable rise-and-fall of his chest.

You didn’t know how much time had passed. But you knew that you were ready to go when he uncovered his eyes, looking at you. You licked your lips and ran one of your hands up his torso. Eagerly, your inner-walls fluttered as you amused yourself by drawing a circle around one of his nipples.

You tested what he would let you get away with, giving your hips a little roll. He didn’t give any indication that your energy was in the wrong place, tilting his pelvis for you as a determined look came onto his face. He picked up your hand and brought it up to his face. He started to tenderly place kisses upon each fingertip as you moved in another experimental rock. Then another, and another, and another, all the while his lips moved across your fingers.

With each thrust feeling better than the last, you were soon finding your rhythm again. It felt so good to get back to moving properly and from your pussy, new sensitivities were stroked to life.

He began to suck on two of your fingers as you drove into him harder. You were holding back less as you enjoyed the way that your body was reacting more.

Losing your composure was absolutely effortless and you slumped forward, more of your body weight crashing down onto him. You grabbed for the head of the bed for some more support as you kept the power in your thrusts.

“Fuck, yes.” You moaned, delighted by the increase of friction between your bodies.

“You feel so incredible.” He said of your keenly-clenching walls.

He put a hand to the small of your back, moving his body with you to increase the impact of every collision. The two of you worked for that mutual goal and you could feel that spectacular peak getting closer.

You plunged yourself down harder and felt the reward of him at your sweet spot. Your body tensed as your heart launched itself into your throat. You reached your hand into his hair, grasping some of the long strands to your sweaty palm as you craved more of that magic.

“Make me come, slut.” You ordered him, giving his hair a little tug.

You fucked into him quicker, bouncing yourself into a frenzy as you lost yourself in the need. Your heart pounded as the intensity only grew, overwhelming everything else.

Short on breath again, he let out a loud moan. “Fuck. I think- oh, you’re gonna make me come again.”

“Yes.” You were thrilled by the idea of it.

Your gut tightened and there were even more stars in your eyes now. You gave him your best jolts as your inner-walls spasmed wildly.

Your jaw dropped open as the magnificent climax took you over. You rode him through the peak, with him following you into his own orgasm. You savoured the feeling of becoming complete with him.

The adrenaline couldn’t get any higher and your body went limp, crumpling in the aftermath. You splayed out on the bed with him. His hand grabbed for yours, the connection remaining intact as your fingers interlaced.

He rolled over until he was close enough to wrap his arms around you. He pressed his face against the side of your neck as you each quietly moved through your states of afterglow.

“Oh, love.” You said with a sigh. “Don’t you see how much better it is when we get dirty together?”

He chuckled. “Truly superior. You’re so right.”

“Ooh, I do love it when you say that.” You said, rolling onto your side so that you could be face-to-face. “But do you know what I love hearing even more?”

His eyes were sparkling as they looked into yours. “I love you.”

“That’s right.” You said. “And I love you too.”

As he began to kiss you, you draped your arms around him. Your bodies moved closer and your limbs slipped into those familiar holds - the perfect embrace coming to the two of you naturally after so much practice. This moment was blissful in its simplicity.

“You really have no idea how relieved I am.” He said. “I thought this would be a secret I would just always have to hide from you, like a kid sneaking out to try booze behind their parents’ back.”

You had begun to push his hair back from his face. “I don’t know why you were so worried. Have I ever done anything to make you feel like I’m some sort of prude?”

“No, no way. But you never know how well someone is gonna respond to those kinkier, dirtier parts of you. I don’t think that’s the kind of thing many people would be happy to come home to.” He said.

“Well I’m happy to come home to it, very happy.” You said. “Imagine if you were the opposite and you had a bitch fit over me leaving my clothes everywhere. But you want them all over the place.”

“Damn straight.”

You sat up out of the embrace, moving until you could reach over the side of the bed. “What about these?” You asked as you picked up the pair of underwear that you had worn to the gym. They had been selected for comfort, far from the cutest pair that you owned. “Are they to your liking?”

He chuckled, taking the underwear from you. “It’s hardly a sophisticated palate that I’ve got. If it smells like your pussy then I’ll like it.”

You noticed that he wasn’t raising the lingerie to his nose, instead holding it at a respectful distance. “Sniff them.”

“Huh?”

You laid down, nice and close to him again. “Show me how you do it, dirty boy.”

“You want me to just…? Alright.”

His eyes left your face, going to the black underwear as he moved them around in his hands, seemingly looking for the section he wanted to smell first. He got to the crotch and spread it out with his index fingers. With the fabric pulled taut, he now lifted it up to his nostrils. He took a deep inhale, getting a proper sample.

“Yeah, that’s the good pussy.” He said, wearing a cheeky smile.

“I’m glad you like them.”

“No. It’s not just like, it’s love.” He said, giving the garment more sniffs.

You were rubbing his ankle with your foot. “I still feel bad for interrupting because you clearly weren’t finished.”

“Oh, I’ve definitely forgiven you.” He said.

“You should keep sniffing, get your fix.” You encouraged. “Enjoy it while it’s hot off the press.”

The look on his face hinted at him knowing that you were up to something. But he went along with your suggestion instead of raising any questions. He kept the underwear close to his face, the tip of his nose almost touching the fabric.

You put your hand to the centre of his chest, feeling how warm his skin was. At first, you were just stroking your hand up-and-down, letting your fingers trail. Then you were applying pressure, giving him a push until he got the hint and rolled onto his back.

Above your underwear, his eyes were sparkling as he watched you. You sought out a new position, placing yourself on top of him, but lower down now. His legs were covered by your body and you started to trace your fingertips along the ridges of his Adonis belt.

“Are you getting all worked up over those panties?” You asked.

“It’s hard not to.” He said. “Your panties are inherently great. They’re so cute and sexy. You look fantastic in them and when you take them off, you leave behind the best scent, without even trying. They’re really unmatched.”

You peeled the sleeve of latex off his cock, seeing the skin glisten in the light cast by the lamp. Looking up at him, you found that his eyes were still glued to you, not wanting to miss a single thing.

“Maybe next time you’re getting ready to go out on tour, I should take a more active role in helping you pack.” You said and you could see how tightly he had begun to hold the underwear. You got your mouth right up next to his dick, letting him feel the warm air that came with your every word. “I could sneak in my dirty panties and give my boy something to remind him of me when he jerks off.”

“Please.” It seemed that he couldn’t get his voice above a strained whisper.

“Sniffing my panties while we’re having phone sex, that would be the next best thing to having me there to fuck.” You said.

He didn’t have anything to say in response to this. His chest was rising-and-falling quicker than before as he watched. You brought your lips to the tensed tip of his cock, placing a kiss here.

But you didn’t let this become the centre of your focus. You moved towards the base of his shaft and used your tongue to clean up some of the expelled cum. You saw him twitch as you moved your tongue, collecting more of his essence. His unique taste coated your tongue as you worked slowly and thoroughly.

You stroked your way up, saving his head for once the rest of the shaft had been cleaned. You paused to take a breath, your eyes moving back up to his face. He had lifted his head from the pillow in his eagerness to see what you would do next. His nose and mouth had disappeared as he continued to grasp the panties to his face.

You trained the tip of your tongue down to his cock’s head, hearing his sharp inhale as contact was made. You flitted your tongue quickly back-and-forth, stimulating him at this sensitive point, amused by the way this made him squirm under you.

Then you placed your lips around the head and used your tongue in longer swipes, properly collecting the moisture beaded here. You felt his legs shift, potentially a symptom of him trying to hold back. You began to swirl your tongue.

You relaxed your lips to move down lower, his cock rubbing against your tongue as you took more of him into your mouth.

“Oh, sweetheart.” His words were thoroughly muffled by the panties as he readjusted under you, starting to arch his back.

Setting your lips in position, you worked yourself up-and-down his shaft. You applied your tongue to him as well, using this as the chaser to your strokes. You wrapped your fingers around his thigh, helping to brace yourself as you set into a rhythm.

“Please don’t stop.” He said in a little whine.

You moved quicker, taking him deeper in the process. You used your free hand to steady him, holding him close to the base. Your pacing was consistent as you anticipated that feeling of him unloading in your mouth, that feeling of his cum surging to splash into your mouth.

His shifting and squirming developed into jerking, with him no longer holding back. He began to match your speed, letting you feel just how hungry you had gotten him. His chest swelled as he glided against your firm tongue. You shut your eyes as you concentrated on the task of keeping up with him.

With a whimper, he rocked up, then froze, launched into the warmth of your mouth. Then you gained your reward, ropes of his cum shooting out to coat the inside of your mouth. He was breathless as he captured this brand new orgasm and you kept sucking, letting him fully enjoy this triumph.

Slowly, he peeled back from you, his cock sliding over your slicked lips. He returned his body to the bed, weakened by this latest release. You were swallowing as you sat up. You noticed that the panties remained over his nose, despite how he had moved his hands away.

“Fuck…” He gasped before he began to laugh breathlessly. “That was so much, so much. Literally, I think I’m gonna need to pass out for about a day to recover from all of that.”

“I hope you remember this the next time you think of keeping any kind of secret from me, love.” You said.

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[yournowheregirl]

thinking about italian steve today

thinking about steve, who loves to cook and wants to get better at it, so he starts digging through the many, many cabinets in the harrington home until he finds an old recipe book written by his great-grandma. it’s filled with recipes he remembers his mom and nonna making when he was little, only problem is that it’s all written in italian

thinking about robin offering to translate it for him but instead, steve asks her to help him learn the language instead. it’s hard at first - the language is so different from what he’s used to - but robin is patient (surprisingly so) and helps him with the pronunciation and sentence structures until it gets easier and easier.

thinking about steve finally getting the hang of the language and inviting everyone over for a big italian dinner once he translates his great-grandma’s recipe book and basking in everyone’s praise and incessant begging to bring his tiramisu to every hellfire meeting and movie night from now on.

thinking about steve and robin taking advantage of speaking a language no one else knows to talk shit about everyone behind their backs. they bitch all about that one guy who takes forever choosing between two very similar movies at family video. they whisper about robin’s love life, for once not being scared of someone overhearing them. they joke about the party being little shits whenever steve so graciously drives them around town. this, of course, drives dustin nuts - he can’t handle not being in the know about everything that happens around him - which only makes steve and robin cackle even louder.

thinking about eddie somehow never catching steve speaking italian until he shows up unannounced at the harrington home one day (steve had given all of them spare keys to use whenever they needed). eddie’s daydreaming as he walks into the foyer but he stops dead in his tracks when he hears steve talking on the phone. in rapid italian. he stays there, flushed and frozen in the middle of the foyer, until he hears steve laughing and saying a quick “ciao nonna, ti voglio bene” and he has to scramble himself together to look somewhat presentable. steve goes to greet eddie but all eddie can blurt out is “what the fuck was that” as he tries to get his brain back online. steve just shrugs and replies “italian. you want a beer?”

thinking about steve noticing how flustered eddie seems to get whenever he speaks italian and using this to his advantage since eddie’s been having the upper hand in this whole will-they-won’t-they-situation they’ve got going on for the past few months.

thinking about eddie just melting into a puddle of goo whenever steve casually speaks italian and not knowing that steve’s just talking about the weather today or that he’s actually joking about loving eddie’s twenty-minute monologue about the history of metal.

thinking of steve becoming a little more brave every time and starting to slip little compliments in here and there because he’s still too chicken to confess his feelings in english. one time it’s a casual “tesoro mio” when eddie brings him lunch and another time it’s a “sono pazzo di te” when eddie makes him laugh so hard his stomach hurts. one day, when he’s feeling particularly confident and eddie’s looking particularly gorgeous, he leans over the counter at family video and plays with one of eddie’s stray curls as he tells him “mi sono perso nei tuoi occhi”. the rush of seeing eddie’s face turn bright pink stays with steve for the rest of that day.

thinking about eddie falling asleep against steve’s side on the couch one night and steve feel so warm and happy inside, that he whispers a soft “mi sono innamorato di te" against eddie’s hair. that particular phrase - i’m in love with you - had been buzzing inside his brain for weeks now but he couldn’t get himself to say it out loud. it’s too obvious, too revealing. but he figures it’s safe now that eddie’s softly snoring beside him.

thinking about eddie suddenly jumping up, wide-eyed and frantic, his voice a few octaves higher than usual as he says “wait, you’re in love with me?”

special thanks to @legitcookie @sidekick-hero & @cheatghost for cheering me on about this silly little idea. the things steve says in italian are as follows (my apologies to the actual italians, i tried my best!): - ciao nonna, ti voglio bene - bye grandma, i love you (familial) - tesoro mio - my darling - sono pazzo di te - i’m crazy about you - mi sono perso nei tuoi occhi - i’m lost in your eyes

[wonderlandishell]

I'll find a new place to be from - NEW CHAPTER - Vic

Damiano David/Victoria De Angelis/Thomas Raggi/Ethan Torchio

Polyamory / Coming of Age / Biphobia / Loss of Virginity / Angst / Fluff / Light BDSM

Turns out, starting a relationship with three of your best friends is not a walk in the park. 4 problems they face on their own + 1 problem they solve together

Chapter 4 - Vic

[nonvaleniente]

You taste sweeter than a cake // T. R. x Reader

Pairing: Thomas x reader

Summary: It's Y/N's birthday and she wants to bake a cake with the help of her loving boyfriend, Thomas. The stress of preparing a party gets to her and Thomas wants to help her blow off the steam. The baking gets really messy...

Warnings: SWEARING, SMUT, FEMALE ORAL, MESSY KITCHEN

Hello! I turned 21 and got this great idea while baking a cake. It took me a few days to write this. But thanks to procrastination from studying, I finally finished it! Hope you guys enjoy it!

Don't forget to reblog if you like it! (or forget, I'm not your mom lol)

I'm sorry about the grammar errors, my attention span is similiar to that of a goldfish. Also English is not my first language, although I have been learning it for most of my life.

P.S. I stumbled upon this picture and it sent me

//

„Pass me the salt please,“

Your boyfriend was leaning against the kitchen counter, staring into the void. He turned his head to the side upon hearing your voice and quickly grew confused.

„Salt? For what? Isn't it supposed to be sweet?“

You could't help but laugh at him being clueless. This was most definitely his first time baking a cake, but he really wanted to help you.

„Oh, dear. You always put salt into the batter, even if it's something sweet. To enhance the flavour or something, idk honestly,“ you explained.

He grabbed the salt from the cabinet, as if he was about to give it to you, but he quickly retrieved it closer to him.

„So why do you do it, if you don't know why it's done?“ he raised an eyebrow in your direction.

„Look, Thomas, this isn't the time to be a smart ass, okay? Just give met the goddamn salt,“ you avoided answering the question gracefully. He let out a loud „uuuugh“ before finaly caving in and handing you the salt shaker.

It was the last cruical ingredient to put into your cake, so you gave it a good mix once again. This was the recipe you used to make with your mom almost every special ocassion. You obviously wanted to bake for your birthday this year, since this was the first time you would be celebrating far away from your mother or family whatsoever. Thankfully, you had a set of amazing friends and a great boyfriend that would be more than happy to help you finishing this cake.

„Please, flour the pan. I already oiled it up before, so that's all there's left to do before I pour in the batter,“ you looked over to your boyfriend.

Thomas didn't hesitate and took the bag of flour, sprinkling it into the pan. He started  spinning it around, coating the whole thing, so the batter doesn't stick. As he was almost done, some of the flour tipped over, spilling all over your leg. He started laughing when you playfully got mad at him.

„Not the first time I got something white all over your leg, right?“

You couldn't stay mad at him for long, even as a joke. Your hand quickly brushed the powder off.

When you got to pouring the batter, he started tickling your rib. Of course, your s/o knows how ticklish you are in this area and every chance he gets, he loves to tease you. You somehow managed to not spill any of the cake mix. When it was all set in the pan, you dipped your finger into the bowl and scoop the leftovers. Bringing the pointer finger closer to Thomas' face, you smeared it all over his nose.

„The revenge is so sweet,“ you said with a devilish grin as you licked the rest of the batter off your finger.

He didn't hesitate and booped his nose against yours, placing a kiss on your lips afterwards, before you got to say anything. You playfully slapped his arm, before reaching for a tea towel. After wiping off the paste off your face and Thomas as well, you commanded him to put the cake pan into the oven.

„Will do, mistress!“ he shouted before saluting to you. The cake finally got into the oven and you set the timer on your phone.

„Alrighty, time to clean up the mess,“ you said, crossing your arms, while lookng up at Thomas.

He stepped closer to you, reaching his hands behind your back and grabbed your ass.

 Before you knew it, he picked you up and started spinning around, laughing at your scared face. You instinctively wrapped your legs around him.

„Put me down, Thomas! This isn'  funny!“ you told him in a serious tone.

He finally set you down on the kitchen counter.

„I was laughing, so obviously, it was funny,“ he gave you a smile and a quick peck on the lips.

„Okay, enough fun for now, love. Now let's really get to the cleaning, the guests will be here pretty soon,“ you announced once again. While trying to get off of the kitchen counter, Thomas stopped you,putting his whole body weight against you.  

„Come on, it's your birthday, relax a bit,“ he said, gently rubbing your cheek. „We have plenty of time, before the cake bakes, what if I praised you for a little bit?“

You felt a knot in your stomach. The day has been a mess. You were preparing the birthday party and seemingly nothing went your way. After baking the cake, you wanted to go and start getting ready, because you felt like you weren't looking good either. Maybe you needed something to blow off the steam a little bit.

You pulled his head closer to yours and kissed him. He quickly caught on, slipping his tongue inside your mouth. His big hands wandered down your body, stopping at the breasts. He placed one of them on your boob and grabbed on it. When he started massaging and caressing your nipple, you couldnt help but let out a moan. Next, he slid his hands down, to the bottom hem of your shirt.

In a moment, Thomas pulled the shirt off of your body, leaving you with your exposed chest. You tried to follow by unbuckling his belt, not wanting to waste a single moment. But he quickly slapped your hand and you pulled away as a reflex.

„You didn't even want me a few minutes ago and now you're so eager. I must be really charming,“ Thomas smirked at you. „Besides that, I have a better idea for now.“

Reaching behind you and tugging at your pants was signaling to lift your butt up for a second, so he can pull them off of your body. You did this awkward jump up and down, as he struggled to pull your pants and underwear in one motion. You both looked into each others eyes and laughed at this ridiculous set up for anything sexual.

But once he finally got them off, you were left sitting completely naked on the messy kitchen counter. You were pretty sure that your butt was now laid on the residual flour, as your pants on the floor were dusted with white layer.

Thomas took a second to admire you. „The mess around us really makes your beauty stand out. You're always really pretty but something about the dirty dishes and remaining ingredients all over the working desk makes me want bury my face into you straight away.“

You gave him a confused look and chuckled at some parts of his previous sentence. „Oh, really? Are dirty dishes your kink now or what?“

He frowned at you, pretending to be offended by what you think about him.

He lowered his body, slowly kneeling to the ground. The whole time, he was keeping an eye contact with you, making sure you were watching his every move. When he turned his head down to your pussy, he forcefully opened your legs further apart. There was already some wetness dripping onto the hard wood desk, but this made you even more aroused.

He reached his hands towards your upper thigh, grabbing both of them roughly. He slid your whole body closer to the edge of the desk, getting easier access for himself. He bent down and started dragging his tongue from your shin upwards. Leaving a wet trail on your skin and working up your legs towards your inner thigh. His saliva all up your leg soon turned cold, leaving a cooling sensation that made shivers pass through your whole body. As he stopped at your inner thigh, close to your pubic area, he looked up at you.

„You're practically dripping already, I like that. We'll definitely have to deep clean the kitchen after the cake finishes, but let me have a taste of you first.“

He moved his head right in front of your pussy. After a few warm-up licks, he changed his tempo and started working your clit fast. „Mmh, Thomas-,“ you let out a first, a rather surprising, moan. He was dragging his tongue up and down your clit, making a sloppy sound. You were now breathing heavily, pushing your hips into his face. When he suddenly stopped, you weren't sure what happened.

„What the-,“ you couldn't even finish your sentence, before he stuck a finger inside of you, that he was previously coating in saliva with his mouth. He got back to his licking tempo, now with the help of his long pointer finger. He was massaging your g-spot from the inside, as well as stimulating it with his tongue from the outer part. „Mh-more,“ you moaned out.

At your request, he slid in another finger and started moving it in the same way. You felt the stimulation getting too much to handle, as he kept moving swiping his tongue against your pussy and pushing his fingers inside of you. „God, I love your fingers so much, they always fill me up so nicely,“ you said to your boyfriend, as he was still messily eating you out. You heard a little chuckle against your clit.

He wasn't slowing down and you were getting close, trying to support yourself on your palms, right behind your back. Tilting your head back, you let out another set of moans. Whimpering „Fuck-“ as Thomas kept pleasing you.

The feeling of an orgasm getting closer started hitting you. Your moans kept growing louder, signaling to your boyfriend, that he was doing a good job. As he kept up his pace, you felt the heat spreading across your whole body. You let out a huge moan as you got to your high.

Your heartbeat was beating loudly, as you watched Thomas standing up from the ground to get closer to you. He placed a kiss on your lips, as you felt your own wetness all over his face. You always found it so hot seeing him this way and it currently made you want to fuck him even more.

„So, are you feeling less stressed now, birthday girl?“ he asked you, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. „Yeah, definitely. But now I kind of want to ride you as well, just to pre-relieve some stress that might occur in the next few hours,“ you smirked at him.

„I would be more than happy to help you with that, but let's check on the cake first, babe,“ he smiled at you, and relocated himself to face the oven. You hoped off the kitchen counter,realising that the whole back side of your body and your hands are covered in flour. You definitely needed shower after that.

The horror on Thomas face quickly got you out of your thoughts. You heard him mumble „shit,“ and saw him trying to quickly turn off the oven. You knew that something went wrong at this point. You got to the oven, standing next to him. The cake form filled with yellow batter you previously put it was now dark brown with black edges. There was a lot of smoke covering the whole inside of the oven.

„The timer didn't go off! Jesus fucking Christ,“ you started freaking out about your ruined cake. Your boyfriend hugged you close to him. „It's okay babe. I know you wanted to bake the perfect cake yourself but we still have time until our guests arrive, we can go buy some replacement cake,“ he tried to calm you down. You were mad at yourself for not paying enough attention, but also you weren't complaining about the way you got distracted. Besides that, it's just a cake. The world wouldn't collapse.

„You tasted way sweeter than any cake ever could though.“

//

[tempobrucera]

Tempobrucera Thomas Raggi Masterlist

FULL MASTERLIST / ADD YOURSELF TO MY TAGLIST

><><><><>&lt;><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

☆ NSFW Alphabet (Work in Progress)       ☆  NSFW - A - Aftercare  ♡ 💔       ☆  NSFW - B - Body Part  ♡ 🔥       ☆  NSFW - C - Cum (C - Part 2 - COMING)  🔥

☆ Hair Combing  ♡

☆ “You look like you could use a hug”  ♡

☆ Just pretend  🔥

☆ I’ll kiss you again  ♡

☆ I’ll sit here, with my arms wrapped around you, all night  ♡

☆ Sacred Heart - Tainted Church (Part 2 - COMING)  🔥

☆ Golden Hour 🔥💔 ♡ ♾️

☆ Tightrope Act  

☆ Spellbound  ♡ 

☆  All this madness 💔 ♡  

☆  Lipstick Kisses ♡🔥 (❗NEW❗)

☆ Linger ♡ (❗NEWEST❗)

[baddestbittyontheblock]

måneskin fic recs

you are responsible for the content you consume‼️

✧*:·˚ hi everyone!! here is a list of all the fics that are my favs with tagged writers/authors ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ remember to like and reblog the works you enjoy in order to support each writer!! ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ however, make sure you read the information on each story themselves such as triggers & warnings ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ also, if you'd like me to remove your fic from this list, message me! ✧*:·˚

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

måneskin x reader: blurbs+headcannons+fics

୨୧ 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬

୨୧ 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙤𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧

୨୧ a headcanon with må with you being a successful model

-they're wearing earbuds, blasting music into their ears when they remember the they left their phone charger in the bathroom. they don't know you're showering and can't hear you over the music...

୨୧ headcanons with må x fashiondesigner!reader

୨୧ a valentine’s surprise | SMUT, orgy, oral sex, anal play, double penetration, food play, spit play, alcohol  

-You’ve been feeling a little left out in your relationship so your four partners show their love to you with a surprise for Valentine’s Day. 

୨୧ Gettin’ Frisky With The Måneskin Members  | explicit content, gender neutral reader, switch!damiano, hard domme!victoria, vanilla!thomas, sub!ethan, freaky stuff, toys and s/m, oral (both ways), degradation, spit, pain play, brat taming, bondage, sinning cuz rock’n’roll never dies

୨୧ our favourite band with an S/O with bad menstrual periods

| talk abt periods, so dyphoria warning (we'll get back on the totally GN shit tmrw, just filling requests rn), lil bit of swearing and NSFW on Ethan

୨୧ how the members of Måneskin confess their feelings for you måneskin x gn!reader

victoria de angelis

·。🍓 my sweet valentine vic de angelis x fem! reader | Fluff

-Victoria's first Valentine's day celebrating with you is a bit chaotic but turns out better than expected.

·。🍓 date night vic de angelis x fem! reader | smut, fingering, oral (female receiving) and bdsm dynamics

-you and vic go on a date and it ends with fun at the hotel

·。🍓 hush, hush, cucciola. vic de angelis x fem! reader | smut

-you’re were asked to come over and help to calm Vic down after another disagreement during creating new song, and you find just the way to make her happy and peaceful again

·。🍓 pillow talk vic de angelis x fem! reader | smut

-your night trip to the kitchen gets interrupted by a strange noise, the results of your investigation are more pleasant then you could expect.

·。🍓 long stormy night damiano x fem!reader x vic | SMUT!!!, degradation, corruption kink, wax play, knife play, blood play, spanking, bit of fear play, unprotected sex, it’s just wild ok, i wanted to treat y/n

-It’s a last day of your small, a bit disappointing  gateway trip. The big storm is approaching, yet your evening takes an interesting turn when you bump into two hot Italians in the hotel bar

·。🍓 cold breeze, hot cheeks vic de angelis x fem! reader | angst, fluff 

-a rather cold October makes your blood boil as you and Vic attend Ethan's birthday party

·。🍓 i think I wanna hold you, but I'm not sure i'm allowed

vic de angelis x fem! reader | angst with tiny hint of smut

·。🍓 I'll show the  lovin' that you'll never get from a man. vic de angelis x fem! reader | angst, fluff, smut

-your friends finally meet your boyfriend, and even though nothing goes according to the plan, your night ends up being better than you could hope for, thanks to Vic

·。🍓 sweat and good grips vic de angelis x fem! reader | smut

·。🍓 the one with victoria’s boobs. victoria x gn!reader | fluff

-Victoria needs help taping her boobs for an upcoming performance. You get more than you bargained for.

·。🍓 the one where victoria wants to watch victoria x fem!reader x ethan | smut

·。🍓 “OPEN YOUR MOUTH.” victoria x gn!reader | soft smut

-along the lines of The one where victoria is patient.

·。🍓 “YEAH, WELL, IF YOU WEREN’T SO DRUNK MAYBE I WOULD.” vic de angelis x fem! reader

·。🍓 “I KNOW YOU CAN BE LOUDER THAN THAT.” vic de angelis x fem! reader

·。🍓 “GIVE ME ATTENTION.” vic de angelis x fem! reader | smut

·。🍓 say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams vic de angelis xfem!reader | fluff, smut

-You're an up-and-coming actress, and Vic's best friend since high school. You have been friends and in love with each other for as long as you can remember. So when you have the chance to be together, it's magical.

·。🍓 baby said vic de angelis x fem! reader | smut

-you've been on a few dates with Victoria and you think things are going really well. You just wish you had known where the night was going beforehand- maybe you would have picked a table with longer tablecloths.

·。🍓 latenight devil vic de angelis x fem! reader

-victoria covers for you after you sneak backstage ahead of a Måneskin gig & invites you into her dressing room for an unusual encounter

·。🍓 forgive me father vic de angelis x fem! reader | smut, basically porn

·。🍓 the ocean's daughter swearing, alcohol consumption, drowning as a metaphor, smut

-while on holiday in italy, an encounter derails your life enough to make you pack up on a whim and move to the very city in which you first saw her — the ocean's daughter.

·。🍓 vic blurb

-doing domestic stuff with Victoria

·。🍓 a threesome with victoria and damiano! damiano x fem!reader x vic | smut

-reader is victoria’s partner and starts to develop a certain ‘obsession’ for dami, until vic decides to fix it.

·。🍓 vic de angelis fic victoria de angelis x fem!reader

-y/n is the other female member of the band, who has had feelings for vic for a while now, but was too nervous to say anything. one night after a concert in new york changes that after the bassist overhears a conversation between damiano and y/n.

·。🍓 thorns victoria de angelis x fem!reader | Mentions of smoking. Mentions of panic. Swearing.

-victoria meets her ex-girlfriend (Ava). The unplanned “date” upsets her and she decides to drink and smoke to cope. When she wakes up in the morning her best friend Y/N (who she also happens to have a crush on) is there to try and reason with her. 

·。🍓 lucid victoria de angelis x fem!reader

-It started with a spilled drink and ended with a clumsy kiss on the dance floor. A night out with friends takes an unexpected turn when you bump into the one person that's been on your mind for the better part of a year- the same stranger who stole both your chapstick and your heart.

·。🍓 nightmares victoria de angelis x fem!reader | A description of a nightmare. Other than that all is fluff and comfort.

-When Y/N has a terrifying nightmare and wakes up screaming, Victoria is there to comfort her.

·。🍓 kisses and cake vic de angelis x reader | very fluffy, a little spicy

·。🍓 vic blurb vic de angelis x reader

-being in a punk band and having vic feature in a show (you know like thomas recently did with starcrawler) and her doing her scissoring thing on top of me and then when she extends and after extending a hand to help me up and pulling me into a very gay gay gay kiss smearing her lipstick on my lipstick and leaving a big lipstick stain on my cheek as well

·。🍓 birthday wish victoria de angelis x fem!reader | smut

-little birthday blurb

·。🍓 church crush vic de angelis x reader | kinky as kink abba; innocent/corruption kink, and idk, sacrilege?

-good girl!reader having a massive obsession on a not-so-good girl from her church.

·。🍓 proficiency test victoria de angelis x gn!reader | a bit of swearing + one (1) explicit and one (1) implicit mention of sex + i'm very much projecting (who doesn't) + shitty german

-vic decides to help you study. chaos ensues.

·。🍓 coming home victoria de angelis x fem!reader

-vic has had a long day but coming home to you lifts the uneasiness from her shoulders and she vocalizes just how lucky she feels that you are in her life.

·。🍓 because of you idiot! victoria de angelis x gn!reader | angst(I guess), romantic fluff

-Victoria suddenly comes distance, and you try to find out why.

·。🍓 fluffy blurb vic de angelis x reader

-(it's something about getting matching tattoos with vic)

·。🍓 fuffly/smut with victoria victoria de angelis x fem!reader

-fluffy morning/half smut with victoria. nipples playing.

·。🍓 your camera roll while dating vic vic de angelis x reader | fluff, smut

·。🍓 knowing your worth vic x fem/gn! reader | hurt, comfort

-Vic is there for you after a conflict with your parents.

·。🍓 the first happiest birthday vic de angelis x reader | fluff

·。🍓 crawling back to you vic de angelis x reader

-Vic once again finds her way back to you.

·。🍓 one of a kind vic de angelis x reader | fluff, mentions of sex

-Vic finds out just how rich the feeling of love can be.

·。🍓 “I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretend that it’s you!” vic de angelis x reader | fluff, angst

·。🍓 pt 2 hospital vic fic. vic de angelis x reader

·。🍓 “everything before the word ‘but’ is horseshit.” vic de angelis x reader | smut

·。🍓 the one where victoria is patient. victoria de angelis x fem!reader | smut

-you've been with Victoria for half a year. Maybe it's about time you pushed your fears away.

·。🍓 “Yeah, well, if you weren’t so drunk maybe I would.” vic de angelis x reader | fluff

·。🍓 “Give me attention.” vic de angelis x reader | smut

·。🍓 “We’re in public, you know.” vic de angelis x reader | fluff

·。🍓 “Wait, don’t pull away… Not yet.” vic de angelis x reader | fluff

·。🍓 "Take off your clothes, but leave the heels on." vic de angelis x reader | fluff

·。🍓 vic fic vic de angelis x reader

-A kiss that is leading to more, but is interrupted by a third party

·。🍓 vic blurb vic de angelis x reader

-Distracting kisses from someone that are meant to stop the other person from finishing their work, and give them kisses instead.

·。🍓 l'amore è più forte di ogni segreto: Part 1. victoria de angelis x fem!reader | angst, swearing, bad google translate translations, overuse of italics, mention of someone called ‘A’ - Damiano’s girlfriend

-unbeknownst to you both, paparazzi photograph you and Victoria while on your way back from a date night. When you find out in the morning, the two of you have very different ideas of how to handle the situation.

·。🍓 l'amore è più forte di ogni segreto - Part 2. victoria de angelis x fem!reader | angst, swearing, bad google translate translations, overuse of italics.

·。🍓 k is for kisses vic de angelis x reader

-You and your girlfriend, Victoria, both like to tease each other. Kisses ensue.

·。🍓 peculiar and beautiful victoria de angelis x gn!reader | angsty but also fluffy

-reader finds themself in a emotional rut. A few comments online, the constant youtube recommendations on how to be “perfect” have been making them feel some type of way, hiding away from the one person that can help them; Victoria

·。🍓 amalfi nights victoria de angelis x fem!reader | smut, pretty vanilla, softdom!vic, servicetop!vic, praise, kind of fluffy smut

-reader and victoria are for vacation in Amalfi. After a candle-lit dinner at the restaurant, after a long day of swimming and sunbathing, victoria just wants to show you her love.

·。🍓 afterglow victoria de angelis x gn!reader | mentions of sex

-reader meets victoria while traveling with friends. The two create a lovely summer fling and reader can not help but bask in the afterglow of victorias influence hoping to encounter her again.

·。🍓 homesick vic de angelis x reader | tw sickness, vomitting

-vic and the reader being on a long vacation together. One night the reader wakes up homesick and ends up being sick in the toilet, trying to be as quiet as they can not to worry vic too much. To no use, of course, as vic wakes up alarmed by the sounds of someone being ill in the bathroom and then goes to comfort the sick, guilty, crying reader?

·。🍓 vic fic vic de angelis x reader

-An accidental brush of lips followed by a pause and going back for another, on purpose.

damiano david

✧*: i want to dance on your body damiano david x fem!reader | smut 

-you and your bestie hit up a party when you start grooving with Damiano, and the dance floor chemistry carries over to his hotel room. That's where the magic unfolds, and you both go to cloud as he compares you to an angel.

✧*: i'm gonna fly straight to you damiano david x fem!reader | fluff

-you and Damiano are cuddled up in bed, brainstorming epic future adventures together.

✧*: i wanna paint your face like you're my Mona Lisa. damiano david x fem!reader | smut

-damiano takes you to see his new yacht

✧*: long stormy night damiano x fem!reader x vic | SMUT!!!, degradation, corruption kink, wax play, knife play, blood play, spanking, bit of fear play, unprotected sex, it’s just wild ok, i wanted to treat y/n

-It’s a last day of your small, a bit disappointing  gateway trip. The big storm is approaching, yet your evening takes an interesting turn when you bump into two hot Italians in the hotel bar

✧*: overthinking damiano david x fem!reader | swearing, alcohol, smoking, smut related things in general

-Your relationship with Damiano is going through a crisis and some jealousy. All becomes clear after a filed party and a steamy night. There is a bit sad, angsty beginning, smut in the middle and a bit of fluff in the end. So, we have the whole package.

✧*: welcome home damiano david x fem!reader | surprisingly fluffy but also smut

-after a long week all you need is a loving touch of your currently absent boyfriend. Luckily in the morning there is a very handsome surprise waiting for you, and this allows you to start your day in best way you could possibly imagine

✧*: 300,000 hearts damiano david x fem!girlfriend!reader

-where damiano sings a song about you he wrote in highschool, to a full arena

ethan torchio

ᑦ( •ᴥ• )ᐣ blush ethan torchio x reader | pure fluff

-a blurb of Ethan meeting his new makeup artist who's really kind and bubbly and he instantly gets a crush on them?

ᑦ( •ᴥ• )ᐣ a night in paris ethan torchio x fem!reader | smut+swearing

-you went on a tour with the band and Ethan enjoyed Paris the most. Having your boyfriend all happy and excited turned out to be better then you expected.

ᑦ( •ᴥ• )ᐣ "The way your eyes get darker when you get aroused, is making me lose my mind." ethan torchio x fem!reader | smut

-If acting unwise get's you places, maybe you're just pushing it to be on your knees.

thomas raggi

❤︎ ❥ "We passed 'just friends' about 20 fucks ago." thomas raggi x reader | angst, fluff, smut

❤︎ ❥ sanremo. thomas raggi x gn!reader | swearing, slightly sugggestive

-ever the supportive boyfriend, thomas indulges you in a sanremo 2023 watch party.

[filthforfriends]

Loosing It (Part 1)

Thomas x fem reader

Word count: 5k

You were furious at the remnants of internalized Evangelism because they ruined this moment for you. This perfect moment, where Thomas asked you to be his girlfriend. Properly too, with flowers and nervous hands constantly fixing his hair, which he carefully styled every morning to look unbrushed.

“Yes, of course!” you gushed, crushing him in a hug. There was a moment, with your cheek pressed to his chest before you pulled away for the kiss, that your heart dropped like a stone, past your stomach and to your feet. You felt his sternum heave a sigh of relief. Whereas, behind your sternum it felt like all your insides were clenched in a fist.

You kiss him quickly, before he gets a chance to see your expression, because you’re not sure what your face is doing. His hot breath hits your cheeks as he lets out a moan. Thomas pulls you towards him in his way, which will be permanently superglued to your lizard brain. He gets a grip with his entire hand, which is heavy and warm, rubbing the area before pulling you forward with all his might. Consequently, both hands slide up your body, messing up your clothes. Then, Thomas gets a new grip, because you’re still not close enough. All while groaning in appreciation. Hiking your clothes up is a side effect of this much passion, and ends with his hold on your bare back. Making out this way usually resulted in your bare abdominis being pressed together. Like your clothes were trying to take themselves off, since you weren’t going to do it.

Definitely a perfect moment, with your perfect physical chemistry, too bad you couldn’t enjoy it. You’d counted on having more time to tell him, break the news that you were a virgin. Not being in a committed relationship had done you a favor, because Thomas never presumed anything, not with his hands, not with his body. He respected your invisible boundaries, and had come from a very religious background too. You’d talk for hours into the night about deconstructing the teachings, and where god and grace really lay. It was an unspoken rule that you were waiting until a committed relationship to have sex. Now you were in a committed relationship, but holy shit you were not ready to have sex tonight. You weren’t ready to tell him either. So what's there to do? Run? 

Thomas pulls away from the kiss and presses his lips to your ear. A careful hand hesitates at the boundary on your lower back.

“Is this okay, michetta?” He slowly slides his hand down and your heart stops before feeling his fingers in your back pocket.

“Yes, Thomas. I officially grant you permission to grope me.” He massaged the muscle of your glute, gripping the soft flesh firmly. This you had done before, but never had it made your heartbeat erratic. Never had you hung on tighter to appease the desire to be closer. Unfortunately, pulling Thomas in by the back of the neck did nothing to fulfill the yearning that burned in your core. In response, his other hand grabbed your ass and he pulled you upwards onto your tiptoes.

“Thank fuck,” he growled, and the lust in his voice shook you. How long had he been holding that back? How much of his patience was already used up? Most terrifying, was that he gave voice to a sentiment that was echoed in you. Sexual desire made you feel out of control. Needing a breath, you end the kiss with a peck, and turn away as you pull back. 

Thomas hugs you from behind, pressing his body to yours, both arms around you. He sucks on your earlobe, and you feel your fingers begin to tremble. Your eyes close and all you can think is oh my god, yes. One of his hands slides up to cup your breast, thumb rubbing in circles. You don’t realize what Thomas is doing until your nipple gets hard under your bralette. The pad of his thumb brushes back and forth over the erect bud, and this is new. Besides yourself, no one had played with your nipples, and holy shit it was so satisfying. 

“You like that don’t you?” It was all you could do to nod, as Thomas’ other hand slid up your ribcage to deliver the same treatment. This time, your nipple was hard and waiting. He dragged his fingers upwards torturously slowly. You were arching into his touch, about to beg, when he finally delivered. Thomas pinched your nipple between his forefinger and thumb, and you let out a sound in place of words, something carnal. The pleasure was like a lightning bolt straight to your cunt.

“You’re doing so well,” he whispered, sinking his teeth into your earlobe. With your eyes scrunched closed, you didn’t see where his hand moved, only felt it when Thomas’ got there. He slid his hand between your legs. For a second, with your eyelids shut, it felt amazing. Pressure and warmth where you hadn't realized you needed it, but surely did. Desperately. But then, your eyes snapped open and your brain was greeted with the reality of the situation. Thomas’ hand was cupping your pussy over your leggings.

“I can’t wait to do this in a mirror with no clothes on.” Oh my god. He kisses your cheek a few times while moving his fingers. Thomas can feel where your vulva dips into your vaginal opening. His middle finger starts making circles.

“Michetta, you’re so wet that you soaked through your clothes.” You completely dissociate from your body, only able to feel your face burning with shame. No. Not yet. Too soon. 

“I’m sorry,” you squeak, torn from the moment completely, as your body informs you that you’ve reached a hard boundary. 

“Oh, it's not a bad thing, michetta,” Thomas chuckles, peppering the side of your face with kisses. He has no idea what's going on in your head, but is intuitive enough to look down to your balled fists. Carefully, he slides his fingers away from the wet spot. 

“Baby it's a good thing,” he purrs. His Italian accent is thicker because he’s turned on. He starts looking for your clit instead, but you cringe and clench every muscle in your body. What's wrong with me? 

“Woah, michetta, hey,” he coos, affectionately, wrapping you in his arms and swaying back and forth. He nuzzles you and god does part of you wants this, but another part doesn’t. He’s being so considerate and attentive that you feel ridden with guilt. Maybe it's the look on your face, or your lack of response, or the way you’re not leaning into him anymore. Thomas removes his hands from you and steps back. You take a couple deep breaths, and the burning behind your eyes abates. Turning around is the bigger challenge, because then you’ll have to offer an explanation.

“Please say something,” a wavering, fragile voice requests behind you. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Thomas’ face has gone white and his bottom lip is trembling. You’re trying to figure out what happened in the last six seconds to prompt this reaction, but you’re drawing a blank. Seeing Thomas so distraught hurts your heart and you want to fix it, whatever it is, immediately. 

“Baby, what's wrong?” you croon, opening your arms. He looks surprised, then relieved, then miserable and throws himself into your embrace. For a few seconds you’re staggering from the weight of your boyfriend’s hug, but he rips himself away.

“I shouldn’t be…you shouldn’t be…hug, comfort. It’s not…I a –” Thomas looks like he’s going to puke and stops speaking. “A” what? What could make him this upset? 

“Baby, I didn’t mean to reject you like that.” Your fingertips reach for Thomas' wrist. “Hey, what just happened?” Genuine confusion marks his features.

“I as – assaul – didn’t I just?” Assault. 

“Tommy, no you didn’t! Oh my god, baby, no.” First day of being his girlfriend and already subjected him to more emotional anguish than any other relationship. He lets out the biggest sigh you’ve ever seen, rubbing his face in his hands roughly, then pushing his hair back. Again, you extend your arms to embrace him.

“Up?”

“Mhm,” you agree, springing off the ground. No one had held you like this before Thomas, in the air with your legs wrapped around his waist. For some people it’d be too high off the ground, but for you it was the most comforting, heart-warming embrace possible. He folded his hands into a seat under your tailbone, and pressed his face to your neck.

“I was so fucking scared. It’s just the way you reacted and I didn’t ask,” he sighs. “Just the thought that I – mm mm” he shakes his head, voice muffled.

“Actually, it was the hottest thing ever until it was too much.” The lightness of your comment prompts Thomas to look up, biting his lip. 

“Yeah,” he agreed, nodding. His eyes were so beautiful up close, and you didn’t fail to notice how big his pupils got when he looked at you. 

“So where is that boundary exactly, so I know for the future? Nothing under the clothes or taking clothes off or between the legs or in sex positions.” He listed them off so patiently, but you got the impression that Thomas was doing this because it was the right thing to do. He was the type of guy to do the right thing, but that didn’t make it the thing he wanted or would have preferred. He likely thought that he would be having sex with his girlfriend tonight. Instead, he got to have a panic attack because you flipped shit when he touched you between the legs.

“Okay, let's talk, because this whole mess is my fault.” Thomas sat on the couch so you had room to move off his lap, which you didn’t. His attention was totally engaged and you can’t help but trace down the bridge of his Roman nose. He was so beautiful. 

“You had something you wanted to say?” he prompted.

“Yes, you’re very distracting.” He smiles and you admire his perfect, little, feral teeth. “Okay, so um…Okay, let’s just admit that sex is a requirment within your relationships.”

“Well… yeah. I  just assumed that it was for you too.” Maybe that was a bad start.

“With the right partners it is. Which would of course include you!” Thomas’ face is encouraging, albeit mysterfied. 

“So we are going to have sex?”

“Yes, correct!”

“But not tonight?”

“No, not tonight.”

“Okay, but…why not? And when? Not to be presumptions, but I kinda thought once we were in a relationship…”

“Totally rational! So you’re the first guy that…has been the right partner.”

“Huh?”

“I’m a virgin.” There’s a silence that you immediately scramble to fill up. “And when we were talking about our past experience I didn’t lie about the shitty blowjobs or bad kissers! That was all real, I just didn’t clarify, which, now that I’m thinking about it, may have been deceit by omission. But that wasn’t my intent to lie! I just –” Thomas holds up his hand to halt your justifications. 

“Just give me a sec, michetta.” The upheld hand falls to rub your flank, soothing. His gaze is cast slightly away from yours and he’s thinking hard, other hand drumming on your knee cap. The anticipation is a small slice of hell, and your heart thunders in your chest. You count the beats, only getting to five before breaking. Your shaking hands hold the bottom of his button up for something to grab, to anchor. Leaning forward just a couple degrees, you barely rest your forehead against his.

“I really really really like you so much,” you confess. It might be the most vulnerable you’ve felt since you were a child, and needed the help of another to navigate the world. There was nothing to help you navigate this: telling your rockstar boyfriend that you’d never had sex before.

“Tommy, please say literally anything.”

“Okay, I…I had considered it as an option, briefly.”

“Right, okay,” you encouraged.

“But, then I figured that someone had, in your past, um –”

“Religious trauma only,” you clarified. ”Obviously, it is still an issue.”

“Good, because the thought that someone had, that they’d,” he huffs, and shakes his head, enraged by the idea of someone violating you. Thomas takes a deep breath while squeezing the meat of your thigh to ground himself. Never had you been so aroused, at such an inappropriate moment. Guiding his hand between your legs where you straddled him was an impulse you should ignore, right?

“Just Texan purity culture. Sex being a sin isn’t enough. The girls are punished for the mere idea of enjoying it. Sex should be a way to serve a man, the church, and god. It’s like they wanted you to sacrifice any pursuit of sexual pleasure to prove how devout you were. Women should want nothing for themselves. Sorry, I know you’ve heard this before, but thank fuck I got out of it when I was younger. I remember at 15, just masturbating was a huge rebellion,” you reminisce, rolling your eyes.

“But you do, right? It's really important that you touch yourself.” Touch yourself. That language made your skin burn.

“Yeah…if nothing else as a reminder of my own bodily autonomy.” Thomas nods intently. You were over this, being ashamed of masturabtion. You had sex toys, too. You were liberated, god damn it! But something about the Thomas’ European nonchalance when it came to this made your attempts at sex positivity feel downright conservitive. 

“Good, that's good. Pleasuring yourself is so important for women, especially.”

“Absolutely,” you agree, finally achieving an air of maturity and control. You were a self-actualized feminist who could talk about sex openly, chin held high. 

“It’s important that you figure out what you like. That way you can tell me and I can do it to you.” Holy fuck. All pretenses crumble. Your face feels so hot that it makes you dizzy. A hand comes up to fan yourself, and you let out a breath, parched.

“You know what's impressive? Even the tips of your ears are red right now,” Thomas observes. He’s smirking, with some of his confidence back. Immediately, you look for a pillow to hit him with in your vicinity, and find nothing. There's a decorative cushion in the far corner of the couch, and you throw yourself towards it, tipping the both of you over.

“No, no, no!” He tries to pull you back, but you wiggle out of his grip. Crawling forth, you fingers brush the tassel that lines the edges, but Thomas gets both arms around you. He squishes you into the couch and you let out a dramatic groan, knowing all hope is lost.

“Teasing me is not a good way to get my virtue!”

“You say it like I’m winning an iPhone or something.” He’s right, and you burst out laughing so hard that oxygen becomes scarce. Thomas starts laughing too, and it feels good to laugh, releasing all the tension of the last hour. His chest heaves against you, the muscles of his abdomen rippling as he takes gasping breaths. Every cackle his body shudders and he squeezes a little tighter for a moment. Each abrupt intake of air makes your baby hairs flutter, and each powerful exhale of joy muses your updo a little more. 

He slumps, tangling his long limbs with yours so you could squirm away if you wanted. You don’t. Thomas leans his face against your profile, and you can just barely see his eyes scrunched closed, freckles smattered across the bridge of his elegant nose. Watching his happiness prompted a rushing feeling in your chest, and you wept, still laughing. This was your perfect moment. Where your cheek rested in the soft crook of his arm, like the white underbelly of an animal. It was a metaphor for all the vulnerable places Thomas had borne for you so far. Two months was too fast, you knew that. But falling in love with Thomas made you question if you’d really ever loved anything else in your whole life.

The laughter dissolves into slow kisses. No tongue, just enjoying the feel of each other’s mouths. He eventually pulled back, and you braced for the reckoning. 

“Can I ask why?” You sighed, trying to phrase an answer that was far from simple.

“It was never worth opening the Pandora’s Box that is my relationship with sex until you. Whenever I think about how much I want you I get panicked.” Thomas perks up a bit at that.

“Because you don’t want to have sex?” he clarifies.

“Not really,” you sigh, throwing your head back and groaning. “It’s intimidating.”

“How can I make it less intimidating?” You pet his hair, smiling. Thomas’ gentle nature was downright dreamy.

“By not doing anything all at once. I freeze up and get freaked out.”. Being tangled together on the couch was getting uncomfortable, legs getting sore from the strange position. 

“Let’s sit up,” you groan, and Thomas helps push you upright. “Okay, so, it’s not that I’m not ready to have sex. But, like, I still need to go slow.”

“Right…” The doubt in his voice makes you wince. He’s leaning against the corner of the couch, trying to make his expression encouraging. 

“It’s like, it’s like, uh” your words are stumbling out, tripping over themselves. “I’m not comforable wanting sex.” Thomas rests his elbow on the back of the couch and adjusts unnecessarily, sighing. 

“Michetta, I’m lost.” You search his face for regret, that I can’t believe I’m dating a virgin look. The panic, wanting out, wishing you could undo something along the way because now you’re stuck. It might be there, about to surface. Thomas staying with you out of moral obligation was horrifying.

“This is me giving you an out.” You will steadiness into your voice. Thomas frowns, brow furrowed.

“Cara mia, I don’t want an out,” he expresses, emphatically. Cara mia. My love. Fuck. He scoots forward, taking both your hands in his, and your eyes are burning again. His fingers are long, but almost femnine. Thomas’ black nail polish is chipped and he’s wearing that crude silver ring that he never takes off. You move it back and forth with your thumb, fidgeting.

“I need you to trust me enough to make me understand. I can’t keep guessing.” You nod. This awkward, fragmented conversation wasn’t normal within your dynamic. You were like best friends as soon as you’d been introduced: giggling, sharing all your secrets.

“The part that's stuck with me, for whatever reason, is the condemnation of lust. Sex is unfamiliar to everyone their first time, and of course, that is nerve wracking. It's not really what made me avoid it though. I could probably hook up with a stranger if I wanted to.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Thomas interrupts. 

“Yeah, me too,” you whisper in a moment of careful affection. “I know I joke about religious trauma, but it's honestly kind of a coping mechanism. Because the way my mom talked –” Suddenly, your voice is wobbling, hands shaking. Why did your nerves have to be experienced so visibly all the damn time? Thomas laces your fingers together.

“Keep going.” You take a shuddering breath.

“Chaos. Giving control over to the devil. Unforgivable sin, or at least, sin she couldn’t forgive. Being chaste was so important that she made wanting sex a bretrayl to our family. I mean, it fucking worked, obviously,” you sniffled. Thomas pressed his lips to your temple for a couple seconds.

“I can see why that part stuck,” he murmurs. “C’mon.” He sits sideways and pulls you onto his lap. It's a relief to have it all out there, and to not be rejected. You’re feeling too many things, but the majority are positive.

“I want us to use the color system: red is stop, yellow is slow down, green is keep going. So you just tell me whenever or answer when I say ‘check-in.’” It seems a little extreme, but an effective fail safe. Safe.

“Is red my safe word?” Your stomach drops. You’d never anticipated having the kind of sex that required a safe word.

“Yes,” he confirms. You feel yourself blanching.

“And I need a safe word?”

“After that reaction,” he points over his shoulder to where you’d been standing earlier, “I need you to have a safe word. Something like that should have never happened, you should’ve been able to say ‘red.’” Problem was, “stop” didn’t exactly describe how you’d felt at that moment. 

“That was…orange.” Thomas’ eyebrows raise in surprise. 

“What would have made it yellow?”

“If you told me what you were doing first, and didn’t say…that. In a situation where I felt in control, it might’ve been green.”  

“Wow, okay.” You watch him battle impure thoughts, fight to straighten out his priorities, but you’d snared him. It was fun to see him reeling when just his hand on your breast made it impossible to form a coherent thought.

“Yeah, it felt really good. And, of course, you’re sexy as hell. It was just a little too far for that moment.” Now, Thomas is the one who’s flushed. You push his hair away from his face and see a tiny bead of sweat on his forehead. 

“Yeah, just a little too far for today,” he confirms.

“I didn’t say that.” There’s a long pause, and the sexual tension flares up like putting carsine on a fire. You refuse to break eye contact first. Thomas is desperate to give you exactly what you want, and that makes you feel powerful. 

You scoot off of his lap and pull him down on top of you, laying on the couch. There's a moment of shuffling around and rearranging of limbs. You part your legs and Thomas isn’t sure if he’s allowed to rest between them.

“Green,” you encourage. He lowers himself down and your arms rest around his neck.

“Hi there,” you chirp, beaming. This was a position you’d avoided up until now, but it wasn’t setting off any alarms in your head. Thomas’ expression was self-conscious. He shifted around, nerves radiating off of him. 

“Babe, c’mere, it's fine!” You pull him down, and reluctantly he rests on top of you. There's something hard in his pocket that's digging into the hinge of your hip.

“Tommy, could you take your wallet out?” You shift around and Thomas lets out a squeak.

“My wallet isn’t in my pocket,” he says, voice strained. Deciding to just prove him wrong instead of arguing, you shove your hand between your bodies and grab whatever’s in his pocket. 

“Then what’s this?” Now that you have a hold on it over his jeans, you can feel the object is not wallet-shaped. Thomas lets out another squeak for some reason. Investigating, you feel around, trying to figure out what this thing is that's stabbing you in the leg. The object takes you by surprise by pulsing and Thomas whimpers.

“Y/n –”

“Uh, what the fuck is in your pocket?” you exclaim.

“There's nothing in my pocket,” he croaks. 

“Obviously there is.” You grab it again to prove a point, moving the object around in case Thomas forgot he was carrying it. 

“Wait, oh my god,” he groans, eyes fluttering closed. “Y/n, that's in my boxers not my pocket.”

“What the fuck do you have – oh. Whoopsies.” You rescind your hand as Thomas grimaces. “My bad, sorry. Is it okay?”

“Yeah, my dick is fine,” he chuckles. “I just need to –” He gets up and turns his back to you. Was he mad? You had just groped him without asking. It was more like the beginnings of a terrible hand job.

“Are you trying to get rid of your boner?”

“Yes.”

“Is it working?”

“Not at all.” You snicker and he turns back around. “Check?”

“Green. Also in my limited experience it doesn’t work like that, so…come here.” You reach out with grabby hands and Thomas smiles like he doesn’t have a choice but to appease you and he doesn’t want one either. He climbs back on top of you, resuming his previous position. Thomas watches your face as he lowers himself down.

“Check?”

“Green, but your dick is digging into my thigh.”

“Oh, shit.” He reaches down and adjusts himself, resting his weight on you again. Thomas brushes the hair out of your face, then strokes your cheek with the back of his hand. 

“Sometimes I can’t believe the way you look at me.” The confession is whispered, and Thomas grins.

“It’s funny, I feel the same way,” he responds, eyes holding that adoration you covet. Kisses devolve into fully making out, tongue and all. Everytime Thomas shifts, you’re made aware of his cock pressing squarely against the seat of your underwear. As he passion grows, Thomas starts moving into the kiss, rocking up and down a little bit. Then a little more. Brushing your vulva turns into lightly grinding, and you can’t help but roll your hips up to meet him. The friction is foriegn and exciting. After a couple of seconds you’re sure you like it very much, and even consider wrapping your legs around him.

Your whole pelvis is on fire with sensations you’re experiencing for the first time. You want to do this with Thomas until you cum, think the grinding is almost enough to get you there on its own. Feeling your enthusiasm, he moans and grabs your midthigh, massaging. His hand slides down to your ass, using that grip to pull your hips up to meet him even more. Thomas rubbed his cock against your pussy with more vigor, and it was on the right side of too much. 

The kiss was abandoned in favor of focusing on whatever you call this. You kept your eyes closed anyway, in case seeing what you were doing allowed your brain to ruin it. Thomas' zipper was rough and this motion was beginning to make you sore, but you didn’t want any less intensity. It was a contradiction easily solved by him taking off his pants. Grinding would probably pull his briefs down, so might as well take them off. If he was naked, you should be too since these leggings were long past ruined. 

Thomas would peel them back, underwear too, and as soon as your groins rested together it would be heaven. That pulse you felt in your hand would beat against your pussy. All your arousal would allow an easy slide. Thomas could rub his shaft between your labia, inner labia and although you didn’t know what that would feel like you needed it. Needed the head of his cock throbbing against your clit. Size didn’t matter, because he’d be hot and silky between your legs. All of him touching all of you, and it wouldn’t count as sex. 

He’d probably last longer that way, so you wouldn’t have to stop at one orgasam. You could have two, or maybe three. You’d be sweating, pressed into the mattress as Thomas thrusted against you. Maybe he’d get the angle wrong. With everything so wet, the head of his cock slipped inside – no. No.

“Yellow,” you moaned, gasping for air. Thomas stilled his hips, removed his hand from your ass. It felt like gallons of ice water had been poured over you when your eyes opened. You shivered and met Thomas’ worried stare. 

“What happened?”

“I really wanted to do that with all our clothes off,” you huff, still fighting for air.

“Cara mia, that's kind of the point,” he pleads, before collecting himself. “Okay, so remind me why that's a bad thing?” he rephrases. You couldn’t help but giggle at his pained expression.

“Because I’m not ready to.” 

“But what's wrong with wanting it?” Well shit.

“You make a compelling point there Tommy.” You flop down on the couch and Thomas sits back on his knees. “I’m just so scared of regretting it, y’know?” Maybe this is your own mind playing tricks on you and if you had sex right her right now it’d be fantastic. 

“Yeah, and I don’t want you to,” he says with so much tenderness and genuine internet. “You could’ve told me earlier. I wouldn’t have disappeared.”

“Really,” you whisper in disbelief, feeling small.

“Yeah, in fact I –” He halts his own speech, as if a thought has just occurred to him. “Was today the first time someone has touched you, like –”

“It was the closest anyone has come to my vagina, yes.” Thomas looks so horrified that you snicker. “What? It was good. It was!” you insist when his expressions sours.  

“Oh my god, no,” he groans, resting his face in his hands. “No, there should have been flowers.”

“There were flowers, right there.” You point to the bouquet resting on the table. “Very beautiful flowers in fact. I love lilies.” 

“No, there should have been special flowers.” His face is scrunched up in distaste. Thomas is genuinely upset about this. It's cute.  

“There should have been a separate bouquet to celebrate getting my vagina touched for the first time? What's in that bouquet? Tulips?” You laugh at your own joke, and expect Thomas to do the same, but he’s still agonizing over this blunder. “Okay hey,” you take his hands in yours to pull focus. “I gave you a mini-panic attack. You forgot the bed of roses. We’re even, I promise.” Thomas sighs, releasing efforts to torture himself. “I don’t want a hundred vanilla scent candles. I just want you.” 

“Good, because that’d be a fire hazard.”

“You, near any sort of open flame, creates a fire hazard. I agree.” After a bit of jostling, Thomas finally breaks into a smile. The rest of the evening is pleasantly boring. A movie, food, thinking about the presence of Thomas’ hand on your thigh so hard it gave you a headache. All part of a standard night-in for couples, even though you were far from standard. A rockstar, a virgin, and her religious trauma walk into a bar. Not the sort of joke that had a good ending.

Notes: Loosing it as in virginity. If it was about Loosing It as in your mind that would be my autobiography and no one outside of a clinical setting wants to read that.

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