#manhid

[rrinsluvr]

Hiii!!! Stumbled upon your kazu smau ngayong madaling araw HAHHAHAHAH. Can't sleep even if online class tom so decided to scroll through the genshin smau tag and here I am *charaann*

Anyways, just wanna say that I hope you're doing well and take care to you fellow filo~

P.S. Nangangamoy angst yung kazuha smau HAHAHAHAHHA then saw that may angst sa tag. Okay lang manhid na ako sa angst 👍👍👍

hellooo!! madaling araw mo pa nahanap HAHSHAAHAHA SIRA DIN SLEEP SCHED MO (same) vv glad u enjoyed my smau! take care din, and goodluck sa classes mo ^^

[prodkeiji]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤミㅤstupid cupidㅤ⋆ ｡˚ㅤ♡ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤwhat happens when an idiot asks an idiot for crush advice ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤmodern cyno !

"anonymous order; ....a request for cyno ? anything honestly — message cut."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤloser in love cyno and dumbass wingman tighnari ! ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤhope you enjoy, xoxo ♡

if you asked cyno any childish question relating to romance, be it a crush or if he's ever had a partner at all, the most you get is a blank stare. for someone with a sharp man, the only time he'll ever let you call him dense is when it comes to romance.

because even he can't deny it, he's a loser when it comes to romance.

and when he defends himself on that topic, saying he has at least tried to find a partner before, you can believe him because he has tried. but no one really liked tcg and horrendously timed puns as much as him, poor guy.

sometimes, he's actually rather bitter about his failed attempts at romance, and opts to curse old pal cupid even when they had nothing to do with it.

hey stupid cupid, stop being stupid and make this romance thing work for me.

but, said cupid seemed to take pity on him, and shot an arrow right through his heart the day you were introduced to his life. to say it was love at first sight, well cyno wouldn't really disagree at this point.

" . . . and this, this is cyno. he considers himself the funniest in our group," kaveh snickers at the last few words as he waves two arms in front of cyno to lend your attention to him, "we believe we're entitled to our own opinions, even when some aren't the best." kaveh laughed to himself about his side comment, earning a blank stare from the shorter male, who then looked to you with a completely different look — a look of timidity and hesitation, tossing you a soft but noticeable smile, one of which you returned with your own.

"i'm fond of those with humor, it's a pleasure to meet you, cyno." you extended a hand out for him, waving kaveh off as he gave up in nagging you to go meet the others with him first, opting to lean back on a desk in impatience. cyno nodded at your words, very slowly shaking your hand - goodness, your skin was very pleasant to the touch - and parting his lips to reply, "the pleasure is all mine," with the next words, he swears his lips moved on their own, "a new face, especially one as attractive as yours, is always refreshing from the usually dull surroundings here." with this, kaveh shot him a pointed look, which he only ignored in sake of the way you glowed when you laughed with him.

"well, he's so far proven his claim right." you smirked as you added on to the unintentional mock towards kaveh, laughing even louder as the blonde's expression morphed into an even more comical one. he scoffed at the two of you and threw his hands up in defeat, "fine, let the short guy show you around. i was already being so generous —" "so, how about i finish the job of showing you around ? i assume you're new, after all." "i wouldn't mind !" "huh—i didn't mean literally !-"

" . . . and then—oh, [name] !" cyno gulps at the way he called out your name, and the pointed look tighnari threw his way did not help. tighnari shook his head and walked over to you first, cyno following behind him in thought.

he's noticing the differences in himself lately, and he's embarrassed whenever he realizes that he's especially different around you. the way he can feel the shift in his mood whenever he sees you, he can hear the difference in the tone of his voice when he talks to you — he can feel the differences, but he doesn't know if he should take them as good signs.

he snaps out of his thoughts when tighnari snaps his fingers in front of his face, earning a laugh from you as tighnari chides him, "you're spacing out again, you didn't even respond to [name] greeting you." cyno shakes his head, "ah.. sorry. good morning name." a smile tugged the corners of his lips up again as you waved at him.

he's also noticed that little lingering feeling in his chest, perhaps he should discuss with tighnari about it when he finds the time to, since he's such a know-it-all.

"so anyway, kaveh said he handed you my notes yesterday ?" tighnari turned to you, "he didn't hand me anything, though ?" "ah... that fu—"

yeah, surely it wouldn't hurt to ask tighnari about it.

"'nari, can i ask about . . something ?" when the two finally went separate ways from you, cyno decided it would be convenient to ask his friend as they speak. "what about ?" tighnari slowed his pace, matching with cyno as they walked up the flight of stairs to their floor. "i've been feeling different lately, mainly around [name]." "don't say more." at this, the two of them stopped in their tracks as tighnari shook his head. observing this, cyno was about to feel guilty, did he accidentally imply something ?

only for tighnari to turn to him and laugh in his face.

"i was waiting for you to accept it and ask," tighnari breathes after laughing for a few seconds, "i didn't think you actually would. guess i owe kaveh 50." "what ?"

"you have a crush on [name], you dense fool." "what ?" tighnari laughs at his friend's expression, "you said you've noticed you've been different lately around [name], right ?" "well, that's not exactly what i said." "it's what it implied, anyway." tighnari started to walk ahead, up the stairs, letting cyno trail behind.

"well we've noticed you've been different around them too, and it's damn well obvious. even al haitham figures it's a crush, and that's al haitham." "and, if it is a crush—" "oh no doubt about it." "do you think i have a chance with them ?" . . .

"come again ?" "do you think i have a chance with them ?"

now, the day that the cyno would be asking if he had a chance with someone was a day tighnari never would have anticipated. never would have been able to prepare for. so what the hell is he supposed to say ???

"who knows, if you flirt with them enough the chances and the stakes are equal." was that a good thing to say, or did he just push his friend to do something stupid ?

"so i just need to flirt with them more ? okay, sounds simple enough." latter, definite latter. "no don't—CYNO"

hey stupid cupid, don't let two idiots give each other crush advice.

"[name], has anyone ever told you that you're very attractive ?" "cyno, you've told me at least three times this morning."

the change in cyno's very open behavior with you caught you off guard, but he was very cute and dorky about it, so who were you to complain ?

your friends can't agree though, even finding it unsettling.

"ah, i'm sorry. i just like to speak what's on my mind, so whenever i think you're attractive, i just have the urge to say it out loud." "you've had three consecutive thoughts about me being attractive ?" "four actually. but i always think you're attractive, so technically i've lost count."

tighnari held his face in his hands as he sat across from cyno, physically cringing.

hey stupid cupid, give the others a chance too.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ© amaiaqt, 2023 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤdo not plagiarize !

[fogbreo]

translating stp character names to tagalog for the fun of it. some of these wont be literal and will be vibes-based. feel free to give suggestions as im not the best at tagaog (despite being a native 🥹 sigh the effects of colonization..)

The Main Players

the long quiet: ang adarnang walang kibo (literary reference: ibong adarna/adarna bird) (the still adarna)

the shifting mound: ang pabagu-bagong wakas (the ever-changing end)

the narrator: ang tagapagsalaysay/manunulat (writer)

The Voices

voice of the hero: boses ng bida (bayani would sound better but it has patriotic connotations while bida is a literary term that refers to the protagonist)

voice of the broken: boses ng matamlay (low-spirited)

voice of the cheated: boses ng kapos-palad (unfortunate)

voice of the cold: boses ng manhid (numb)

voice of the contrarian: boses ng suwail (defiant)

voice of the hunted: boses ng ninaso

voice of the opportunist: boses ng manlilinlang (deceiver)

voice of the paranoid: boses ng balisa (anxious, restless)

voice of the skeptic: boses ng makatwiran (rational)

voice of the smitten: boses ng makisig (gallant)

voice of the stubborn: boses ng matatag (strong)

The Vessels

the adversary: ang kalaban

the eye of the needle: ang demonyo (demon)

the tower: ang tore

the apotheosis: ang bathala (god)

the fury: ang poot

the beast: ang halimaw (monster)

the den: ang yungib (cave)

the witch: ang mangkukulam

the thorn: ang tinik

the wild: ang kagubatan (forest)

the damsel: ang maria clara (literary reference: noli me tangere)

happily ever after: ang ilaw ng tahanan (the role of the mother in the household)

the prisoner: ang bilanggo

the cage: ang kulungan

the grey: ang pangitain (apparition, phantasm)/guniguni (imagination, hallucination)

the nightmare: ang bangungot

the moment of clarity: ang pagkagising (the awakening)

the spectre: ang multo

the princess and the dragon: ang prinsesa at ang dragon

the wraith: ang aswang (evil spirit)

the razor: ang talim

the stranger: ang estranghero

[jopetkasi]

i just came from a coffee shop to meet a friend when I got this SMS from chris.

siempre tao lang ako at masakit din pero wala eh, manhid na ako. i mean i am used to being dumped and somehow that made me resilient I guess?

wala naman tears or breakdown. actually, i was expecting something is about to happen kasi we did not see each other for a week and he never reached out (call or text, nada)

my only beef is that he could have at least said these things to my face BUT I reminded myself na wala kami relasyon to begin with so wala akong reason to demand naman diba?

pero sana hindi na sya nagbigay ng signals that got me expecting.

mabuti nalang walang sexual encounter na nangyari, otherwise sisirain ako ng attachment issues ko.

yun lang once i got home the married guy I used to play with suddenly sent a pm asking us to meet for sex. and I was like telling myself, "oh jopet, naiwasan mo na yan ng 1 year babalik ka pa ba sa pag self-destruct?"

but the other side of me was tempting me like "oh look at you, dumped once more, you go have sex. you deserve it"

and in a quandary i find myself torn between my regained values and the sexual itch brewing inside...it does not help that chatting with that married guy would elicit memories of long nights in bed with him and feeling a warm body hugging me....and do I have to mention the orgasms? that type of orgasms that make you scream and give your face that "glow" afterward?

c'mon, Jopet, go naked with Emil...

the only thing that got me back to reality was monkeypox.

oo nga naman, kantutan now, hospital later...thank you nalang, my hands can still do wonders.

and besides, abby (his wife) and I just reconciled. a huge wall recently was torn down and we are just starting to build bridges...

but man, the temptation........

not even a cold shower could douse the intermittent seduction it gives. you know what I mean right? that fucking urge builds up and starts to mess up my head and no matter the logical reasons I can unearth to avoid this shithole, the kalibugan feeling is standing ground and asking me to "sige na, last sex na to..."

sorry i guys if you find my struggles hideous. this is the only space I could be myself...

stay safe and dry. take care....

[pinaasang-umasa]

feel ko talaga manhid na ako, baka need na talaga idaan sa dahas CHAROT HAHAHA pero pls naman lord, bigay mo na sakin to. pagod na akong maging isa sa mga strongest soldiers mo, gusto ko na ulit maging chill girly lang please naman 😭

[keychainjar]

manhid na ata ako mga ante grabeeee haha parang wala na akong emosyon

[tigre-edi-rawr]

ang lala ng pagkamanhid ko ngayong araw

simula noong nakaraang gabi, sa byahe pauwi, ramdam ko nang wala akong maramdaman.

natakbo yung utak ko pero walang iniisip. nakatulala ako pero wala akong tinitignan. hindi naman ako masaya. hindi rin ako malungkot. hindi rin ako naiinis. hindi rin apektado. hanggang sa bumalik ako sa trabaho, di ko namalayan alas dose na pala.

kanina, pagkagising ko, naligo na ako at kumilos para pumasok sa Alabang. late na ako pero hindi ko maramdaman na ang bilis ng oras, naglakad lakad pa ako sa SM Calamba kasi wala lang. trip ko lang.

bumili ako ng cravings of the day, Paotsin. at healthy drinks na yakult with green tea, sarap pala?

habang nasa bus, hindi ko namalayan, lahat pala ng toyo sa dalawang Paotsin na binili ko eh tumapon na sa dress at legs ko at hindi ko man lang naramdaman.

pagdating ko ng office, saktong 2PM na, nagbreak lang ako ng 30mins para kumain ng dinner kasi nangtreat yung boss namin then hindi ko na napansin yung oras ako nalang pala natira sa office.

first time kong mag overtime sa Alabang ng 1AM.

non-stop yung trabaho ko ngayong araw pero hindi ko maramdaman yung stress at pagod.

ayoko na ng ganitong level ng galit. nakakatakot kapag sobrang kalmado at manhid.

tangina ng lahat ng tao na wala nang ginawa kung hindi sabihin at iparamdam sakin na kahit anong gawin ko, ako yung problema.

nakakapagod magalit sa sarili, tangina niyo.

[akosichay]

ang hirap maging manhid, wala ng pake sa lahat

[melovesanneeeee]

Alam mo kung ano yung pinakanakakatakot na pwedeng sapitin ng sarili natin? lyon ay ang mawalan ng pake sa lahat. You let things happen and take things as they are. Hindi mo na kailangang ipag-alala whether your actions will bring positive results or not. Kasi kahit anong mangyari, nakondisyon mo na 'yung sarili mong maging emotionally unavailable. Parang isang tanong, isang sagot. Wala nang effort na magbigay ng explanation kasi how someone would react on your answers doesn't matter anymore. Ang mahalaga sa 'yo, nasagot mo. Nakuha man nila 'yung sagot na gusto nila o hindi. Nakasakit ka man o hindi. E ano naman sa 'yo kung manhid ka na? And minsan, nakikita ko 'yung sarili ko na nagiging cold na ako sa mga tao, which somehow makes me sad kasi minsan I see it as a way of protecting myself. Look how miseries change people. Kaya I personally believe na madali lang maging mabait kung hindi ka damaged. Otherwise, you'll end up prioritizing yourself above else, ma-perceive ka man ng iba as antagonist.

[themagical1sa]

* The door opens a little, revealing Isa with a run-down and tired countenance.

Hey.

* Isa's eyes darken in quiet anger.

The Vice President passed a memorandum overwriting facts in our curriculum, erasing "Marcos" from "Dictator Marcos."

We are seeing the historical distortion of the darkest time of the Philippines known as the Marcosian Martial Law in real time. The corrupt in power dare erase the name for whom many heinous crimes against human rights were done.

Manhid na po ako. Pagod na rin ako sa mga kabalastugang ginagawa sa bansa ko. May personal na buhay rin ako. Pucha, sa dami kong pinag-iisipan sa buhay ko, daragdag pa 'tong mga 'to.

[in Tagalog] I'm already numb. I'm also tired of the bastardization being done to my country. I have a personal life too. Fuck, with the many things I think about in my life, all this just adds to it.

* Her grip on the doorknob tightens for a moment as she grits her teeth while looking away, but she only sighs before looking back at you.

I just wanted to tell you that, just in case. There are many unjust deaths under the Marcos era that still have not been brought justice.

(This^ is a thread. Google translates the tweets rather sufficiently, personally speaking.)

Have I mentioned that the election of our current leaders was not fair at all?

I'm tired. I want to help fix this country, but I'm so, so tired.

* Isa sighs again and moves to close the door, but she pauses and looks up at you again.

Promise me that you won't forget too.

We can't forget. We can never forget. Never again.

Thanks for listening.

* Isa finally closes the door, leaving you to yourself again.

[annexca]

#165

Sa pag-alala, dala ko ang kahapon

Lahat ng tinago't pati na ang tinapon

Sa pag-alala, dala ko ang sakit

Pasan ko ang lungkot pati na ang pait

Sa pag-alala, nais kong makalimot

Nais kong maging manhid, matapos ang takot

Sa pag-alala, ayaw kitang alalahanin

Mga gunita, sa kalawaka'y palalayain

Sa pag-alala, hindi na luluha

Matapang na sisindihan ang kandila

Sa pag-alala, hindi na aasa

Muli pang madarama ang 'yong presensiya

- SA PAG-ALALA

[jopetkasi]

Sunday Family lunch was at my lolo's house in Q.C.

this is not the regular weekly family lunch with my parents and siblings. but this once a month event is when the extended family members come together for a whole day and i tell you it's tiring with all the kids running and screaming, the recycled jokes and never ending chismisan. basta, hindi nakaka relax.

that is why i asked dad if i can skip lunch and will join nalang them for dinner instead. pumayag naman.

i called the new guy and invited him to hear mass with me and lunch after. sakto nasa Manila area sya. so we had lunch and the seafood pasta and gambas was so so good, sobrang sulit talaga and the churros? boy, Dulcinea serves it best.

after lunch we went to GreenHills kasi I need to buy a 27in monitor. me nakita naman ako Samsung na pasok naman sa budget ko so yun. we did not stay long kasi sobrang dami ng tao and we both have to join our respective families for dinner.

surprisingly, when he dropped me off sa house, he asked if I will introduce him sa dad ko? and being the manhid person I am, asked "but why?" and his reply was like "ganun naman diba? good manners yung you present yourself to the parents?"

so ako na ang walang good manners. sorry na.

i told him perhaps next time because i know how my relatives can maneuver and end up being jerks with new people around. it;s not that they are bad naman but like what i said, I know my family and I don't want the new guy to experience what the previous guys felt.

sana lang he understood my situation and i trust he did naman.

so yun, we had barbecue food for dinner. ayaw ko na magkwento but i was there trying to be nice and accomodating to all. until we have to cut short the al fresco dinner since it started to drizzle and retreated inside. good thing, my new siblings are here which was a good excuse for me na magpapatulog ako ng bata kasi naman mag 9pm na and hello, okay lang naman kung Saturday eh the next day walang pasok, pero Monday na bukas and people have work.

buti nalang we left early and dad dropped me off sa place ko.

so that was Sunday for me.

[whimsicalparadies]

Kamatayan 1

“Atleast nagawa ko lahat…” Alam kong hindi ito ang pinakamagandang entrada ng isang sulatin. Sulatin? Para kanino ko ba toh sinusulat? Kung laman lang naman ito ng aking pag-iisip, o aking tatawaging ���agam-agam?” Di na ako magpapaligoy-ligoy pa, napasulat talaga ako dito buhat ng ako’y hingal na hingal na. Saan? Sa buhay. Kamatayan? Tunay nga bang ito ang solusyon sa lahat ng di kaaya-aya nating karamdaman habang tayo’y nabuhuhay? Kung gayon, ay bakit takot na takot tayo rito? Dahil ba’t ito ay misteryoso? Isang bagay na di natin lubusang mauunawaan hangga’t di natin nararanasan, at isang bagay na di na maihahalintulad sa iba kapag nadanas ng isa. Ngunit inilahad ni Oscar Wilde na, “Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forget life, to be at peace.” Dahil dito, napaisip ako, ano ba ang mas kaaya-aya? Ano ba ang mas kakayanin ko? Saan ba ako mas liligaya? Ang pagharap sa bawat hamon na ibinabato sa akin ng buhay? Ang paghanap ng tinatawag nilang “fulfillment” sa tuwing may mga bagay kang nakakamtan? O ang humimlay ng payapa, walang iniisip, walang hinahabol na hininga, walang sinasabayang daloy ng panahon, at maging malayang bahagi ng sansinukob na nagbibigay liwanag at kahulugan sa lahat ng di ko na maisa-isa pa. Hayaan niyo muna akong mag-kwento pansamantala. Sa totoo lang, gumising lang talaga ako bigla na para bang masyado kong nararamdaman lahat ng bagay, dumoble lahat ng sakit, ng lungkot, ng galit, ng irita, alam kong may mga nararamdaman ako, ngunit ang pinaka-higit na dumoble sa akin ay ang “kawalan” o “emptiness” sa Ingles, na para bang sinampal ako ng kamanhidan, na sa sobrang manhid ay nakahahapdi sa bawat sandali ng aking paghinga, ng aking pag-iisip, pagkilos, at paggawa. Habang patagal nang patagal, ang mundo’y para bang kumukulimlim, sumisikip, bumibigat, at nakalulunod. Nakakawala na ng gana, wala na akong gana sa hapagkainan, wala na akong gana sa mga bagay na dati’y nakapag-bibigay kagalakan sa akin, wala na akong ganang lumabas, wala na akong ganang makaranas, wala na akong ganang kumilos, wala na akong ganang humarap sa kahit kanino, wala na akong ganang lumakbay, wala na akong gana, wala na akong gana. Lagi ng walang gana. Di ko alam saan nanggagaling toh, di ko mawari ano ba ang pinanghuhugutan ko, napakalabong kawalan at kalungkutan, ngunit ang tanging batid ko’y wala akong kawala sa sitwasyon kong ito. Kung mayroon, ito ay malabo, hindi ko matagpuan. Biruin mo yon, sarili kong isip tinatraydor ako. Binibigyan ako ng mga problemang hindi naman totoo, at hindi naman nangyayari. Binibigyan ako ng sakit, ng galit, ng suklam, at lahat-lahat ng mga bagay na ikinasusuka ng sistema ko. Paano ako hindi magagalit? Paano ako hindi magwawala? Paano ako hindi maiinggit sa mga taong hindi binabagyo ng kanilang saloobin!? Nakakatawang isipin na ang tanging pahinga at kalayaan ko lamang ay pagtulog, at sa mga sandali na walang laman ang aking isip, ako’y nakababalik sa reyalidad, sa mga panahong ako’y nakakalimot mag-isip. Habang ako’y nabubuhay at nag-iisip, alam kong patuloy kong mararamdaman ang kamanhirang nakahahapdi’t nakalulunod sa aking kaluluwa. Kaya sa kasalukuya’y aking nang nauunawaan, kung bakit kay raming yumakap sa kamatayan, sapagkat dito lang nila mararamdaman na sa wakas, nagkaroon na rin ako ng kontrol sa mga bagay-bagay, na sa wakas matatahimik na rin akong tunay, na walang akong nakaraan, kasalukuyan, at kinabukasan, na hindi ako binibilangan ng oras, na hindi ako hinahapo sa mga pangyayari’t isipan ko. Totoo nga na we suffer more in our imagination, than reality. Sa mga pagkakataon na tayo’y nalulumbay, at batid natin ang dahilan, mas nakakaya natin at natutuklasan ang tamang solusyon, ngunit sa mga pagkakataon na tayo’y namamanhid o nalulungkot na di natin malaman ang dahilan, ng di natin maunawaan ang pinanggalingan, na bunga lamang ng pag-imbento ng ating isip, at agam-agam, ay ang hirap palang makawala’t makaahon. O kamatayan, tulungan mo ako.

[tokwattoge]

Journal | 10.18.2023 4:30 PM

Just finished a crying session. Char. Ang hirap mag adulting. I really suck at balance. I tend to hyperfocus on things, kaya I only get little work done. Feeling ko napakaineffective ko sa trabaho, sinisipagan ko talaga as in. Ito na yung pinakamasipag ko simula nung nagsimula ako, pero pakiramdam ko walang nagiging bunga yung paghihirap ko. Nahihirapan talaga ako pagsabayin yung dalawang work. Baka nga ito yung kailangan ko iimprove, pero I feel like complaining and crying. Hindi ko alam kung kulang pa ako sa pagiging manhid, na if it's not working bilisan ang recovery period at move forward. Sige manhidan ko pa. Clearly, I'm becoming too emotional. Gusto ko sisihin na lang lahat ng tao sa paligid ko pero deep in side sarili ko lang naman talaga sinisisi ko. Walang katapusang pang guguilt trip at paninisi sa sarili. Kailan ko ba papatawarin ang sarili ko?

[ladyonred]

TAKOT

Natatakot ako sumubok.

Natatakot ako na baka sa pagkakataong ginawa ko, magiba ang pagtingin mo.

Na baka iba pala ang iyong gusto.

Na baka hindi pala ako ang hinihintay mo.

Dahil wala, wala akong nababasang sensyales mula sayo,

Gaya ng senyales na binibigay ko,

Mga senyales na hinihintay ko.

O baka manhid lang ako?

O baka hindi naman talaga kasi ako?

At sadyang isa lang akong delulu,

Nagaakalang ako ang iyong gusto.

Natatakot pa rin ako,

Sa pagkakataong umamin ako at hindi pala ako, ay hindi na muli kaibigan ang ituring mo.

Na baka 'pag ako'y naging tapat, ay hindi pa rin pala ako ang sapat.

Na baka kapag sinubukan kong umamin, at narinig sayo ang mga hindi inaasahang sabihin,

Baka hindi ko kayanin.

Baka hindi ko kayaning maging tapat muli sa iba kong mamahalin.

Alam kong kailangan maghintay ng tamang panahon

Ngunit ang pasensya ko'y nalulunod na at di na makaahon.

Pero kahit ganon, patuloy pa rin sa pagdadasal upang ang takot ay mapalitan ng lakas ng loob.

Ang takot na nadarama ay isang oportunidad upang mas lumalim pa ang pananampalataya, at tiwala.

Upang sa pagdating ng tamang panahon, kakayanin na nating magmahal ng walang takot.

[mademoisella]

づ♡ど . ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა  °  ♡ͥ︎ ♡ͦ︎ ♡ͮ︎ ♡ͤ︎   . ꒰ঌᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ໒꒱

♥♥♥

baby, you had been so good to me so far. i can't thank you enough for the way you have treated my heart. i'm glad that we wakes up every morning with the same love and solicitude. trust me, baby, i didn't think you'd become this important to me, like, we used to be strangers, now you are somebody whom i can't pass a day without talking to. we came in a group, only who? knows bakit ako, because i don't, ang alam ko lang there's a lot of reason why not me, but you still chose to be with me.

i remember telling you na halos lahat ng ex ko greenflag, it was always me who are to blame for kung bakit exes kami, isa 'yan sa reason why i was hesitant, like, never ako tumagal sa talking stage na'yan, dati it only takes a week then official na, ang landi arghxghw. seriously, i was afraid na mauulit lang 'yung laging nangyayari, ayaw ko talaga, for you siguro ang bilis lang, but i pondered deeply for you, i don't want to break you, baby, i was protecting you from me, hindi ako manhid ano, assumera ako e lawl, cinonsider ko lang talaga lahat before lumandi hehe. you are so precious, it pains me everytime mare-realize ko that i'm being mean and selfish to you occasionally, i am terribly sorry, baby. you are an amazing person who i struggle to find words to describe. if only i can kiss you ten thousand times for loving me, never i have felt this much loved before.

you don't have to offer me gifts or such, you don't even have to worry about anything at all, just be with me, i wouldn't ask for more. i know sometimes, i could be hard to handle, but, please don't give up on meee, i'm trying:< (pls, i don't have the right words rn, nahihiya ako, keep up w me, babii :;(∩´﹏`∩);: )

it was a month full of bliss, i love you, baby, i really do, you have no idea how much, i'm extremely happy to be even granted a month with you, happy monthsary, babylove. i want the rest of the months to be like this, again, or better.

let me love you for every single time.