#marion / conversations.

[essektheylyss]

I know it's such a cliche at this point to the point of garnering eye rolls, but we really cannot lose sight of the fact that 2x97 is the Most Episode of All Time. You cannot ignore Essek in that episode, obviously, but honestly the fact that that happened only serves to highlight how buckwild everything else was. That was when Veth got her body back. That was when Caleb first directly set his sights on Ludinus. That was when Fjord tried to ask Jester on a date and instead ending up thirdwheeling Yasha and Beau, who WERE essentially on a date. That was when Jester locked Sharpe on the balcony. That was when Cad got Beau SO high and Fjord was forced to babysit. That was when Fjord and Yasha told Marius he had to kill someone to stay on the crew.

If any ONE of these things had happened on top of the Essek reveal, it would've been notable or memorable, but no, the BREADTH of unhinged happenings in that episode is actually stunning.

[darc-la-farse]

“....Are you okay?”

“If I weren’t, you’d be able to tell right?”

“Sometimes...Would you still tell me if you weren’t?”

[asolitaryrose]

@brienneofqarth just adding to the 🥖 pile with "i really don't know which outcome is more heartbreaking, watching him die and then learning he was in love with her or watching him die knowing all along (or at least suspecting)"

I tend to think that she has no idea about his/her feelings and it's when she realizes that he loves her that she's like "shit me too"

either way the meve/reynard angst is real (and delicious)

[hauntedfalcon]

@stabbystabbyvax3 baughhhhhh thank yooooooou and apologies in advance that it’s gonna take so frigging long, because I’m already drafting a different multichapter. I want so much to do this one justice though!! there is so much potential!

[justaweirddruid]

I had tried watching the first episode of Candela a couple of times and was never able to finish it but I'm so glad I finally push through cause the next 2 episodes are great and the pacing gets so much better.

Now I'm almost done with the Needle and Thread chapter and HOLY SHIT, I think it's tied with Calamity as the most amazing thing I've ever watched.

I am also in love with Zehra now

[swtnsourkisses]

Nerves. is all she could feel upon receiving her gaudy invitation to the gala. she expected nothing less all things considered. The knowledge that they knew of her― classified her as an EO― was an incursion of her privacy. Forcefully they thrusted her into the spotlight; not for her work; or development in space science that she helmed. But rather what she could do with these unnatural abilities. For six years she kept a tight lip of her new, skills. The last three she delved into what she could do― how powerful she could be. It scared her- no person, no mortal should have this kind of dominion. How odd to hate the very thing that saved your life. her attendance was begrudging on. her part, dawn in white from head to toe she snatched up a champagne flute quickly. Emptying the contents about halfway finally feeling the coil tight in the pit of her stomach loosen. Her breathing labored. cautious eyes found a cursory gaze behind a mask and she offered a tight smile. " It's warm in here. Though I suppose chugging alcohol would exacerbate the heat," she said fanning herself with her clutch, trying to cool the overheated skin of her collarbone. Breathe Marion, just breathe.

[crushermyheart]

Rose and Maloney / Series 3 / Episode 1 / part 4

[barnbridges]

if you ever wondered yes i only defend marion the secret history because im an ex elementary school major.

[totaldramahyperfixation]

Reminder to everyone on EARTH that MANITOBA SMITH has a WIFE that GOES ADVENTURING WITH HIM.

[somewherefornow]

HERB, MARION, & AMY (+ TAFFY) WINSTON in AMETHYST: PRINCESS OF GEMWORLD (1983)

[cquity]

"you alright? you look like you’ve seen a ghost." - Marion @ anyone

Davina's lips curved into a wry smile as she lifted her gaze, meeting the concerned expression with a flicker of amusement in her eyes. "If only it were just a ghost, huh?" she replied, her voice tinged with a hint of irony. "You know how it is in this town, never a dull moment."

She tilted her head slightly, her demeanor shifting to one of cautious intrigue. "But I appreciate your concern," she added, her tone softening. "You've got a good eye for noticing the little things. What brings you here anyway? Need some witchy advice or just stopping by for a friendly chat?"

@lcnelylcves

[junipers-archive]

Paper Rings

Word count: 1.1k

Includes: tiny itty bit of angst to fluff, fluff, fluff, Spencer has been acting distant so you try to start up a conversation, ultimately leading to his confession about wanting to marry you but never finding the right moment

You were worried. More than usual worried, worried. Spencer had been acting odd lately, and for the past few weeks you had been trying your best to ignore it.

It was hard though, he had been distant, almost neglectful, his once cheerful and atentative attitude when listening to your day or the new book you'd been reading gone and replaced by a cool indifrence.

You were near to him now, sitting on the sunflower yellow sofa in your apartment, reading different books. But instead of being next to you he was on the other side of the couch.

In an attempt to start up a conversation you mentioned one of your fresher pieces of news,

"Hey Spence", He didn't even look up, just hummed.

You scooted closer, "Uh- I- Well you know my cousin? Marion, the one who got engaged a few months back?"

"yea" his eyes shifted up quickly and then right back down to his book.

"Well they finally set a date! I got my invite in the mail yesterday morning, it's in Hawaii!!"

"Oh, really?" he wasn't even glancing up now to seem interested.

Nevertheless, you tried one last time with enthusiasm, hoping he'd be kind enough to take pity and reciprocate even a fraction of it.

"So whadaya say handsome, be my plus one?"

"mhm." mhm. That's what your relationship had dwindled down to?

You shook your head, tears pricking your eyes as you got up from the sofa, trying really hard not to cry. But there was only so much you could take, was he seeing someone else? What had you done to make him so upset?

But that was the thing he wasn't even yelling at you! You'd become an irrelevant part of his life without even realizing it.

By this time you were grabbing your things in a scramble, trying to get out, get out of the apartmentget, get out of his life if thats what he really wanted. When it occurred to you that he was still obsorbed in that stupid book of his.

And you had to know, You just had to.

"Did I do something?! What-Just tell me what I did Spencer please!"

You were standing before him now, waving your arms around manically.

"Y-Y/n, whats wrong?"

"I don't know Spencer you tell me! I mean first I thought it was a case you were on that had put you off, or maybe that we'd been apart for too long but weeks went by! Its been weeks and you still won't even look me in the eye when we're talking!" You fail in your previous attempts to keep the tears at bay as droplets fall down your flushed cheeks.

He was stunned but eventually he found his words, "I-I- that wasn't my intention, I- just- I-"

You were hysterical at this point, he couldn't even tell you?

"Look Spencer. If you wanna break up, just say it already!"

You were one second away from storming out when he spoke up again, catching you by the wrist and leading you down the hall to the bedroom quickly.

"Look I'm really, really sorry Y/n its just that- well it'd be easier if I just showed you."

You came to sit on the bed, arms crossed over your chest as if armor protecting you from being hurt.

He was searching through the back of the closet you shared, finally pulling out a shoe box. He sat down next to you, opening the box, where rested an old sweater of his that had been worn thin and a black velvet box sitting within.

He handed the small compartment over to you explaining frantically,

"I've wanted to marry you for a long time now, hell Y/n I wanted to marry you since the moment I met you. But I kept chickening out and for the past few weeks I've taken you to our spots to pop the question but I-I- nothing was ever good enough...I couldn't find the perfect moment."

he looked straight in your eyes now, which were watery, overwhelmed by the idea he wanted to marry you just as much as you wanted to marry him. "You deserve the perfect moment. And not being able to provide that to you, it tore me apart, so...I became distant, praying I was good enough but also hoping you's find someone better..."

"I-I understand completely that this isn't the time or place but when I saw that you were crying- I just I needed you to know that the reason I was being so distant wasn't because I wanted to break up, far from it! I want to spend the rest of my life with you!"

You opened the box now, silently falling in love even more as you gazed down at the your dream ring.

Finally lifting your gaze to the boy in front of you and kissing him deeply, finding your voice again as you pulled back grinning,

"You're an idiotic-genius, you know that?"

He only grinned back, "Yea, yea I'm fairly aware."

You slipped on the ring, it was perfect fit.

"Well...Are you gonna ask me?"

He shook his head, "You're gonna have to wait till i find our perfect moment."

You grumbled like a digruntled child, leaping back on the bed and guarding your ring finger as he tried to take it back. Ultimately he ended up on top of you, both of you play wrestling like children.

"Y/n. Give. It. Back."

"NO its my ring now! You can't take it back! You practically already proposed!"

"You said yourself, I technically haven't asked!"

"Well why don't I keep it for now, just until you're ready?" You were wearing a shit-eating grin as you looked up at him, he had pinned you down with his hands on your wrists.

"No way. What Would I propose with then?"

You craned your neck to kiss him then, albeit akwardly. "I'd marry you with paper rings Dr. Reid."

He had gotten admittedly lost in your sweet words, which you used as your opprutunity to slide out from under him, once more flashing you giant grin before running out of the room.

"Y/N!"

The afternoon was lost to him chasing you around the apartment as you chanted, "Paper rings dr. Reid! Paper rings!"

[formulauno98]

Yacht Girl Summer - Chapter Six / Tuesday - George Russell x Reader, Toto Wolff x Reader

Word Count: 5.5k

Warnings: 🌶 This one is spicy, 18+ only. This is going to be a slow burn and if you're uncomfortable with the idea of two-timing don't read this.

Author’s Notes: Disclaimer, purely fiction. No use of Y/N and minimal descriptions because I want everyone/anyone to be able to enjoy this.

TUESDAY MORNING

The unexpected interruption jolted you. George's expression hardened, his grip on your hand tightening reflexively before he dropped it and moved to sit down on the bed. You exchanged a quick glance with him before you moved to open the door.

Toto stood in the hallway, his usually composed demeanour now tinged with uncertainty. His eyes met yours, a myriad of emotions flickering across his face, concern, regret and something deeper that you couldn't quite place.

"Can we talk?" Toto asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

You hesitated, aware of George's presence sat on the bed behind you. He remained silent and brooding, his eyes fixed on Toto.

“I’m not sure if now is the best time. Can we talk in the morning?” you asked, knowing that you needed to explain the situation to George and disappearing with Toto would send the wrong message.

After a tense moment, Toto replied, “Fine. I will see you in the morning. Sleep well.” 

Closing the door once more, you turned to George to explain yourself further, only to see that he’d flopped down fully clothed, fast asleep. 

Sighing, you set about getting ready for bed, knowing that when he woke up in the morning, it was going to be more than awkward.

– – – 

You woke up in the warm embrace of George. His touch was gentle, his mind only on one thing as he snuggled closer, his hand caressing the curve of your thigh. A wave of surprise washed over you. Considering what you revealed to him last night, you hadn’t expected this reaction.

“Morning beautiful,” he said. A very odd reaction indeed.

"Morning,” you murmured, before adding “You’re perky this morning, do you remember anything from last night?" trying to keep your tone casual.

George groaned softly, shaking his head. "Nope. The last thing I remember is dancing with you. Everything after that is a blur. I couldn’t tell you how we got back here. How about you?”

Guilt gnawed at you. Deciding not to fill him in entirely, you forced a smile. "Things are hazy. Must have been the drinks," You extricated yourself from his embrace, knowing you needed some space to think. "I need a shower, I’m hanging badly," you lied.

“Ugh me too,” said George, “I’ll snooze for a bit, maybe shower after breakfast. I doubt Toto has anything planned for today.”

Nervous at the mention of Toto, you nodded as you disappeared into the bathroom, “Yeah probably not. Everyone drank a lot.” 

– – – 

Heading to breakfast, hand-in-hand with George, you had a knot in your stomach. The thought of facing Toto was daunting and you weren’t ready for that difficult conversation. A small part of you hoped that he’d be hit with the same alcohol-induced amnesia as George but deep in your heart, you knew it wasn’t the case. He hadn’t been anywhere near as drunk as the others and had appeared sobre when he’d knocked on your cabin door.

As you joined your fellow guests at the breakfast table, it was clear that they were all nursing severe hangovers, worse than the previous morning. James was silently sipping his coffee with a haunted stare, Cara had dark sunglasses on, her head hanging low and John kept rubbing his temples. Marion was nowhere to be seen, presumably too delicate to make an appearance.

Toto, conversely, looked wide awake, alert. “Good morning,” he said, somewhat stiltedly.

“Morning boss,” said George chirpily, causing Toto to raise his eyebrows.

“You’re in fine form this morning,” he said, his eyes not leaving yours as he was clearly trying to suss out whether George was onto him.

“I slept like a baby! I don’t know what was in those drinks but it was some strong stuff,” said George, “I was just saying that I honestly can’t remember how we got back last night. 

Toto’s eyebrows raised even further, turning to you, “And do you?”

Stuttering you blinked, “It’s a little blurry here and there.”

“Interesting,” said Toto, still looking at you transfixed, your fellow guests distracted enough by their hangovers that they didn’t clock the awkward interaction.

Throughout breakfast, he continued to look at you with an intensity that made you almost uncomfortable and as George was chatting to James and the plates were being cleared, he asked you in a low tone, “Can we talk?”

“Sure.” you said cooly, “Maybe you can show me the sea kayaks you were telling me about?”

Getting the message, Toto raised his voice, “Ah yes, the sea kayaks, I’ll show you them now and you can take them for a spin later  if you’d like?”

‘Great,” you said, your smile not meeting your eyes before turning to your boyfriend, “George, love, Toto mentioned he has some sea kayaks we can take out later. He’s going to show me where they’re stored and how to take them out, is that cool?”

Oblivious, George waved you off without a thought, "Yeah sure, go ahead, sounds cool. I'm going to take a shower in a bit anyway."

– – – 

Away from the group, Toto's steely manner shifted, his expression warming considerably. "I kissed you last night," he started, his voice low and apologetic. "I shouldn't have, considering George."

You nodded, feeling the weight of his words. "Yes, I know and I felt guilty. I told George when we got back, but he doesn’t remember."

Toto looked taken aback. "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to complicate things or to upset you. I couldn’t help myself though. Have you not felt the same way these last few days?"

His question caught you off guard so you told a white lie, "No. I was too drunk last night to know what was going on. It was just a drunken mistake. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression."

Disappointment flickered across his face, "Not at all. In that case, I should be the one saying sorry. I’ve enjoyed getting to know you. It’s been refreshing to talk with someone not about racing.” he paused for a moment before adding, “But yes, let’s put it down to a drunken mistake."

You nodded again, feeling a lump form in your throat. "Great, well if that’s all, I should go."

You turned and made the great escape before Toto could say anything else. As you made your way back towards your cabin, tears began to fall, what on Earth were you going to do? 

TUESDAY AFTERNOON

Fully repaired after the storm had damaged the electrics, the yacht had successfully headed back out to sea, setting sail for one last round of the Mediterranean before returning to dock in Port Hercule. You’d had a lazy day spent sunbathing and reading a book, trying to clear your mind. 

In the late afternoon, you got up and stretched on the lounger you’d spent the last few hours on. Deciding it was time to get up and do something, you thought a swim might do the trick, "Anyone interested in going for a quick swim before dinner?" you asked the group.

“I don’t think I can physically move.” groaned Cara, “Maybe tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I’m done for,” said John, equally as lethargically, “We’ll come tomorrow.”

Much to your despair, Toto volunteered, “I’ll come.” he said, sitting up on his lounger.

“George?” you asked, hoping he would join you.

“I’m working on my tan,” he said, stretching out luxuriantly. “Tomorrow I’ll come.”

“No worries,” you said, not able to back out of it. You gathered your things, kissing George on the cheek as you left, "Go. Enjoy." he said, quickly returning to his sunbathing, unbothered.

– – – 

Reluctantly, you found yourself alone with Toto once again, diving off the back of the boat, Toto following close behind. You swam out a little way, the tension palpable.

Floating ten metres from the boat, you felt the presence of Toto in the water beside you, "Sorry, I thought George would want to come too.” he said apologetically, “And it was weird to change my mind immediately.”

Your eyes softened, “No, don’t be silly, it’s nice to have some company.”

Toto quirked his eyebrow, “I didn’t get that impression this morning.”

Turning to face the older man, you sighed, “I’m sorry. Last night was… something. It was surprising. That’s all. And I feel guilty because of George…”

Toto looked at you, his eyes full of concern, “I feel guilty too. I shouldn’t have kissed you. George is my employee and my friend but I just couldn’t help myself. As I said this morning, getting to know you has been interesting. It’s the first time in a long time I find myself enjoying talking to someone.”

Surprised by his admission, you weren’t sure how to respond. 

Filling the silence, Toto swam a little nearer, his voice dropping low, “Look, one last question and we will never speak of this again. It’s driving me crazy talking like this over and over.” he paused, looking you dead in the eyes, “Do you love him?”

You couldn’t respond. The silence stretched between you, heavy and laden with unspoken feelings. Glancing up at the sun deck as if to check no-one was looking, Toto swam even closer, approaching you gently, one hand gripping your waist, pulling you close to him, and the other caressing your face. "Do you honestly feel nothing?" At that, he leaned in for a kiss, his touch tender, softer than the passion of the night before.

Breaking the kiss, you gazed into his dark eyes, shining warm amber in the late afternoon sun, finding them sincere. “Toto…” you started, before catching his lips once more, wrapping your leg around his torso as he effortlessly kept the two of you afloat with his free arm.

Time froze as you remained locked together, intimately embraced as the waves lapped around you. It was then that you knew. You had fallen out of love with George. George didn’t kiss you like this, he didn’t make your stomach lurch with butterflies. It was too early to tell if you loved Toto - Christ you’d only just gotten to know him, but you knew the potential was there.

The kiss growing more heated, you forced yourself to break apart, “Hang on, we need to stop.”

“Why,” asked Toto, growling as he pulled your leg further up his torso, grinding into you under the water, his growing hardness apparent.

You let out a moan, your heart not wanting to stop but your brain telling you otherwise. “It’s not the place.”

Reluctantly, Toto released your leg, “Sorry, I was getting carried away.”

“Don’t be silly,” you said, reaching up to cup his jaw as you pressed a chaste kiss once more to his lips, “I was too. But we just can’t. Not unless I end things with George.”

Looking somewhat deflected, Toto released you entirely, returning to treading water by your side, “You’re right. This is so not right.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, you’d of course heard his infamous “Michael, this is so not right.” during a Grand Prix a few years ago. Realising what he’d said, you were surprised to see his face tinged pink. 

“Sorry for laughing,” you said, stopping your giggles, “But look, let’s not do anything stupid.”

“Agreed.” said Toto, his face stoic, “Shall we head back to the boat?”

“Sure,” you said, keeping a careful distance between yourself and Toto as you swam back towards the yacht, your head racing with thoughts.

What you hadn’t clocked was the figure on the sun deck, leaning over the railings, mouth hanging open having witnessed your and Toto’s intimate moment.

TUESDAY EVENING

That evening, dinner was more relaxed, with the group discussing plans for your final day at sea. Plates were filled with delicious food and the air buzzed with an easy camaraderie, the previous nights’ shenanigans well and truly breaking down any remaining airs and graces.

You settled into your seat beside George as he leaned in intently to listen to what Toto was planning for the following day. After what had transpired in the water, you couldn’t quite look the tall Austrian in the eye as he proposed taking the jet skis out for the day. 

James nodded in agreement, "Jet skiing sounds fun. We could also set up a race. You know, just for laughs."

Rolling your eyes at the forever competitive older man, you knew George would not be able to resist the idea of a race. As if on cue, he nodded eagerly, “I’m down for a race.”

“Such a surprise,” you said dryly under your breath, Toto smirking at your comment.

Raising an eyebrow, Cara seemed to share your sentiment, "Friendly competition, right? Count me in.”

Sipping her wine, Marion nodded, "Agreed. But maybe first some sunbathing on the deck. I was all for a chilled morning."

Toto clapped his hands together, “Then it’s settled. Tomorrow let’s relax in the morning and a jetski race in the afternoon.”

George agreed enthusiastically, "That sounds fantastic. We could set up a course around that island we passed today. Start here, loop around the buoy near the cliffs, and back."

Nodding, John chimed in, "Yeah and let’s time each other. The winner gets bragging rights for the rest of the trip."

“The rest of the season,” said George mischievously, knowing that he would likely have the edge.

Stroking his chin, James added, "We could add some challenges too, maybe a slalom through some buoys.  Keep it interesting."

“Are you guys ever not competitive?” you asked, the men denying it in unison. Shaking your head and laughing, you stole a glance at Toto, noticing his dark eyes lost in thought.

Breaking eye contact, Cara leant across the table to clink her glass with yours, "Here’s to our silly other halves."

Marion raised her glass in tandem, "Cheers to that.” before turning to Toto, “ And to good friends."

Smiling at everyone, Toto raised his glass in turn, "Indeed. Cheers. Thank you for making this week very enjoyable. We needed this break."

You raised your glass, joining the toast to the memories you had made together. As the conversation shifted to other topics, you caught Toto’s eye across the table. He gave you a reassuring smile which you promptly returned. The butterflies were back.

Clearly privy to this moment, Cara suddenly piped up, “So how was your swim earlier?” she turned to you pointedly, “I saw you two out there, it looked like you were having fun.”

The blood drained from your face. No. She couldn’t have seen. Could she?

You exchanged a worried look with Toto, Cara’s face lighting up as she knew it meant that the two of you had been rumbled.

“It was lovely thank you.” you said politely, “Actually, we spotted an interesting island, if you’d like to see it I can show you from the sun deck?”

Catching your drift, Cara nodded, “I would love to, maybe we can head up before dessert comes out?”

“Great idea.” you said firmly, excusing the two of you from the table, George looking a little confused at your sudden departure and Toto shooting you a look as you disappeared up the stairs behind Cara.

– – – 

Once you were up on the sun deck, safely out of earshot you turned to Cara.

"Okay, spill it. What's going on?" she asked, “I saw you two canoodling in the water. How can you do this to George? What on earth were you thinking? Has this happened before?”

Feeling overwhelmed by the barrage of questions, you paused before admitting, "I don’t know. Like I told you, things between George and I are… not great. And then last night at the club, Toto and I... we kissed. I don't know what came over me."

Cara listened quietly, her expression turning serious as she processed your confession. Her eyes narrowed, “So then you went in for seconds today?”

“It wasn’t like that.” you said quietly, “I told Toto that we shouldn’t.”

Cara raised a perfectly pencilled brow, “But you did it anyway. Look I will say this once. These things happen, but you need to sort this out. George is a lovely lad, he doesn't deserve to be messed around.”

You nodded, tears welling up, feeling somewhat cathartic after sharing your guilt, “I know. I feel terrible about this."

Seeing your regret, the older woman’s expression softened as she gently put her hand on your arm, "Okay darling, take a deep breath. We'll figure this out. Just... be honest with yourself about what you want and who you want to be with."

You nodded gratefully, thankful for Cara's understanding and support. 

"Be careful though," she advised. "Toto is much older than you. You’re probably smitten because of all of this,” she gestured around the yacht, “If you’re not happy with George, end things first. Don’t jump into something with Toto. He’s likely only after a fling. I’ve never known him to be serious about any woman since his divorce and even during his marriage he had a wandering eye."

Her words left you at a loss. Had you misjudged Toto? After all, what kind of man pursues a woman who is already taken? Let alone one taken by someone who works for him.

“I will be,” you said, thankful that the woman seemed to be level-headed. “Thank you, Cara, I hope you don’t think badly of me.”

“Not at all,” she said kindly, “I can see it’s upsetting you, but equally, please be careful.”

You smiled, the warmth of her friendship offering comfort amidst the turmoil of emotions swirling inside you.

She turned suddenly, "Let's head back before they send out a search party. You've got a lot to think about young lady."

“Indeed,” you said, following her back down to the dining table where thankfully the chat was flowing freely once more.

Settling back down in your seat, George barely registered your return so you found yourself once again chatting away with Toto. This time talking about dancing, having shared opinions on the music last night. 

“Where did you learn to dance like that?” asked Toto, leaning in with a smile.

“Self-taught.” you teased, “How about you?”

He smirked, “Years of practice, I suppose.”

“Well you got moves,” you said with a smile.

“If only you knew,” he said suggestively, dropping his voice so only you would hear, your companions deep in conversation around you, oblivious to the overt flirtation. 

Blushing furiously, you tried to steer the conversation back to more innocent territory, “So a jetski race tomorrow huh? Think you have what it takes to win?”

Ever humble, Toto chuckled, “Probably not. George and James will have the edge. Perhaps I can beat John, Cara and Marion. You, I’m not so sure.”

You laughed, “Wanna make another bet?”

“Why not?” Toto asked, amused at your competitive streak.

“If I beat you, you have to jump off the boat and skinny dip tomorrow night.”

Toto quirked his brow, “And if I beat you, you are going to do that?”

You chuckled, not having thought this through, “Hm, maybe not.”

“Why not?” he asked, “It makes the race interesting.”

“Ok, deal.” you said, your eyes sparkling, taking his hand in yours to seal it “I’m ninety per cent sure I’ll beat you anyway.���

“That’s confident,” he said, dropping your hand, “Something you probably don’t know, I used to rally.”

Fuck. Maybe the bet was not so wise after all.

“What are you guys shaking on? Making a bet?” asked George, suddenly noticing your exchange with his boss.

“Yep.” you said, “On who will be faster tomorrow? We all know you’re going to win but for us normal folks, we’re spicing it up.”

George laughed, “I’m not sure about that, a jet ski is a bit different to a car. Besides, you’re much lighter, I reckon you have the weight advantage.”

“Are you calling me fat George?” said Toto, his eyes widened in mock horror.

“No, no.” said George, backtracking, “Well, you’re much taller. And all muscle. Very muscular. Yes not fat. I mean no… not fat.”

The table were now all engaged in your exchange and laughed at George’s furious backpedalling.

“What’s the forfeit?” asked John.

“To be decided,” said Toto tactfully, not wanting to share the true nature of the bet.

“Walking the passerelle?” suggested James with a laugh.

Toto’s eyes sparkled, the irony not lost that James wasn’t far off your wager, bar the nudity clause “Yes, let’s say that.” 

– – – 

Later that night you found yourself lying in your bed in your cabin, unable to sleep once again, heart pounding with uncertainty. George had quickly drifted off to sleep beside you, wrapped up in the duvet, looking cosy as a bug. 

You had to talk to Toto. Despite the easy banter at dinner, the kiss, his confession and Cara's words swam around your mind. With a deep breath, you slipped out from under the covers, careful not to disturb George. Quietly, you tiptoed across the cabin, pulling on a bathrobe and snuck out into the narrow corridor, trying not to make a noise as the wood beneath your bare feet creaked.

Toto's cabin wasn't far. You navigated the dimly lit hallway, your thoughts racing as you approached his door. With a hesitant hand, you knocked softly, hoping he was still awake.

After a brief moment, the door opened a crack, revealing Toto's silhouette against the soft glow of his cabin lights. His eyes widened slightly in surprise before a warm smile spread across his face.

"Can I come in? We need to talk," you said, keeping your voice low, not wanting to wake anyone.

Toto nodded silently and opened the door wider, allowing you to slip inside. The master cabin was spacious and elegantly appointed, a stark contrast to the cozy simplicity of yours. Toto closed the door behind you, the latch clicking softly into place.

You stood awkwardly in front of him, painfully aware that he was wearing nothing apart from a tight pair of boxers. Of course, you’d seen him in swim shorts but this was much more compromising. You gulped, he wasn’t making your life any easier standing there looking like that.

Noticing your awkwardness, he crossed the room, taking a seat on the large bed, “Sit down,” he said, patting a spot next to him, “What's on your mind?"

You perched on the edge of the bed, nerves fluttering in your stomach. The air between you was thick with unspoken tension, the weight of recent events hanging in the air. You were very much aware of the fact that you were now sitting with a half-naked Toto on a bed. A very handsome, half-naked Toto. One move and you could be back in deep water.

Stealing yourself and meeting Toto’s gaze, you spoke to him from the heart, "Today... what happened between us. I don't know how to explain it. I shouldn't have..."

His voice gentle, Toto surveyed you, "It's okay. We talked about it. You don't need to apologise."

You shook your head, "But I do. Cara saw us. She knows."

Toto looked at you wearily, “You snuck out of bed to come and wake me up and talk about Cara?”

Taken aback, you retorted, “No, what I’m saying is I don’t know what to do. She told me some things about you.”

“Like what?” Toto asked, curious.

You sighed, “Basically she told me to be careful.” 

Breathing steadily, Toto looked at you fondly, "And you think she’s right?"

“I don’t know,” you said helplessly, fighting not to react to the fact that Toto was edging nearer to you. "I feel so confused. About everything."

"I understand. These situations are never simple." Toto offered up, his eyes darting down to where your bathrobe was gaping, offering him a view of your skimpy nightdress.

Silence settled between you, the gentle hum of the yacht's engines filling the cabin. Toto's eyes searched yours, his expression a mix of understanding and something more difficult to define.

"What do you want?" he asked breathlessly, leaning closer.

Answering him wordlessly, you brought your lips to his, this time your lips locking in fiery passion. 

Breaking the kiss, he asked, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” you said, shaking slightly, not having planned to do this when you’d snuck out of your cabin.

“Well if you insist,” he said, suddenly scooping you up and throwing you back onto the bed so you were now splayed out underneath him, your bathrobe flapping perilously open to reveal your thin cotton nightdress that left little to the imagination.

Dipping down, he kissed along your neck, whispering in his deep voice, “But this has to come off.”

Tugging at the belt, you got flustered as you tried to extricate yourself from the terry-towelling prison, Toto growing impatient and pushing it down off of your shoulders as you finally managed to untie the knot.

Hands exploring everywhere in the heat of the moment, Toto’s hands quickly found your breasts, palming them through your nightdress, setting you on fire. You reached around, clasping one hand around the back of Toto’s neck, pulling him closer, the other grabbing at his broad shoulders. 

As you kissed once more, Toto began to grind his hips into yours, his hardness more than apparent as you gyrated underneath him, desperate for contact.

Just as you were starting to find a rhythm you froze suddenly, painfully aware that you were about to cheat on your boyfriend. This was not just so not right, this was downright wrong. You glanced towards the door, a pang of guilt tugging at your heart. George was fast asleep in the cabin down the hall, unaware of your clandestine activities.

Noticing your hesitancy, Toto stopped, his hands dropping to your waist, holding you tight. “Are you okay?” he asked, for the first time looking nervous. “If you want to stop we can.”

Torn between feeling guilty and wanting to carry on with what you were doing, you looked up into Toto’s eyes, the warm brown meeting yours with concern.

“I’m more than fine,” you said, leaning up to kiss him once more, too far gone to stop now.

As the kiss deepened, Toto began to divest you fully of your bathrobe, then making quick work of peeling off your nightdress and throwing it wildly behind him, leaving you in nothing but your lace panties underneath him. Shy under his gaze, you shifted a little awkwardly, feeling exposed.

“You.” he kissed your neck, “Are,” he kissed your collarbone, “So,” he kissed your breast, pausing to take your nipple in his teeth, “Beautiful.” he kissed your stomach.

The sensations drove you wild as Toto parted your legs gently and kissed his way lower and lower, from your stomach to your hip, pausing to lift up your legs and pull your underwear off before continuing to kiss you all the way down to where you were now dripping wet.

“Such a pretty little pussy,” he said, seemingly mesmerised. He took a moment to gaze with admiration before kissing his way from the inside of your thighs all the way to your core. His tongue lapping gently as he found your sweet spot.

“Fuck.” was all you managed as he went to town, his tongue skillfully swirling, expertly flicking your clit. “Fuck,” you exclaimed again, grabbing a handful of the sheets you were lying on.

Toto came up for air, his eyes almost black with desire, “Tell me how you like it.”

“Keep doing that.” you breathed, never having felt like this before. You felt another pang of guilt. George never did this, never made you feel like this.

His deep laugh rumbling against you, he continued his ministrations before coming up for air. “Sit on my face,” he commanded, his authoritive tone making you blush.

“Huh?” you asked.

“Sit down on my face,” he said, sitting in front of you before twisting around and grabbing your legs so that you were now straddling his face. “Sit down and smother me.”

Bracing yourself against the headboard, you did as he asked, his tone hard to resist. His strong arms held your legs apart and pushed you down, your thighs wrapping around his shoulders as you pushed into his mouth.

It was heaven. His tongue lapped gently, exploring, making your stomach do backflips.

You couldn’t stop moaning and it seemed the more vocal you got, the more enthusiastic he became, pulling you tighter to his face with every grind of your hips.

It wasn’t long before you were seeing stars, his tongue setting you on fire. “Fuck, Toto.” was all you managed to say as he pushed you up, his mouth wet with your pleasure.

“Gladly,” he said, promptly moving your legs off of him, pulling off his boxers and coming up to kneel behind you, his prominent bulge digging into you as he pressed up against you tightly, your legs pulled apart straddling around him as you sat on his lap. “Focus,” he said, lifting you up and teasing you with the tip of his cock.

He continued caressing your breasts, nipping gently at the patch of skin behind your ear as he lazily rubbed up and down, agonisingly slowly. “Toto,” you said, your voice hoarse with need.

“Yes,” he rumbled, right against your ear, “Tell me what you need.”

“Fuck me,” you begged, discontent with his slow teasing.

“I thought you’d never ask,” he said, lifting you up off his lap once more before easing himself in, taking things slow and pushing in inch by inch to allow you to adjust to his size.

“Fuck.” you breathed, “Fuck, this is nice.” As he bottomed out, you felt full, complete even.

“Nice?” he taunted, nipping at your ear lobe “That’s all?” 

“You know what I mean,” you muttered, starting to impatiently move your hips, grinding down onto his lap.

“Is this nice?” he asked, before lifting you up and slamming you back down onto his lap, making you feel as if you were about to be split in two.

“Yes.” you breathed, barely prepared when he did it once more, and then twice “Fuck.”

Slowing down, he pumped up into you, starting to find a rhythm, one hand creeping forward to caress your clit. Oversensitive already, you were almost on the brink from the first touch. “Does that feel good?” he asked, his voice vibrating through you as he continued to thrust in and out.

“Fuck yes,” you said, moving your hips against his, bracing yourself once again on the headboard.

“Hang on,” he said, suddenly pulling out, leaving you disappointedly empty before grabbing you by the waist and flipping you over onto your back.

“I want to see your pretty face,” he said, lining himself up once more, entering you again, this time at a relentless pace, leaning down to kiss you as he found a new, faster rhythm.

All you could do was lay back and try to meet his thrusts, his muscular build pushing you further and further back up the bed.

“Ouch!” you said, as one particular thrust had your head crashing into the headboard.

“Fuck, I am so sorry,” said Toto, slowing down, kissing your head where you’d banged it and impatiently grabbing a pillow to stack behind you, “Sorry, overenthusiastic.”

“I’ll survive,” you said, pulling him down for a deep, sensual kiss.

It wasn’t long before you were reaching your second orgasm of the night, losing yourself in pleasure, your bodies moving as one. 

You could sense Toto slowly throbbing slightly, nearing his own high so you slowed down, pre-empting.

“I’ll pull out,” he said kindly, “But I need you to cum for me first. Cum for me.”

Once again, his domineering instructions had you on the precipice and coupled with a few, short, sharp pumps, he pushed you over the edge once more, your entire body shaking as you experienced one of the most intense orgasms of your life.

You barely had the chance to recover when he expertly pulled out, tugging a few times before he too found his completion, warmth spreading over your lower stomach.

Collapsing beside you, he leaned across and kissed your forehead before getting up to the bathroom to go and grab a towel. Returning shortly after, he wiped you down gently, making sure to clean up thoroughly before dipping back down to pull you in for a cuddle, his strong arms wrapped around you.

You lay there in content silence before he broke it, “That was… I don’t know. Fuck, you are out of this world.”

Smiling, you pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, tasting yourself, “That was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Looking pleased by your admission, he drew you in closer, enveloping you from behind. You snuggled contently, not wanting the moment to end but knowing that you had to leave so as to not arouse suspicion. What had you done?

Taglist: @prettiest-at-the-party @noooway555 @annewithaneofthegreengable  @xoscar03 @totowolfffcheco @justzluv @kravitzwhore @bborra @a-beaverhausen

[ddreamywitch]

Chapter Three - Swan upon Leda

knight!benjicot blackwood x princess!reader

word count: 3.8k

a/n: things are warming up between princess and benji :)

warnings: the king is a terrible dad, mentions of complicated childbirth

song: Swan Upon Leda - Hozier

Marion is exasperated. Her hands fling through the air like a nervous little bird, desperate to get their point across and yet failing all the same. 

“You are out of your mind,” she cries. 

The jewels she’d been threading through your braids are long forgotten, a sparkling disarray on your vanity. You pick up a dark red ruby and roll it back and forth between your fingers. “If I don’t go, they’ll think I’ve abandoned them.” Your lips, painted a lush berry colour, pull into a pout that once worked exceedingly well on Ser Rodrick. “Please, Marion.”

Your handmaiden shakes her head. 

“It was a risk under the watch of Ser Rodrick,” she leans in closer, nervous eyes flitting to your door. “But with bloody Ben as your protector? He’ll have me impaled when he finds out.”

She whispers his name with fear, as though he would appear like some mirage at the mention of it. 

You’ve grown quite tired of this whole bloody Ben debacle. Benji, as he’s allowed you to call him, is less of a sword pointed at you now, but he still sulks, barely speaks. 

He doesn’t pose a threat, in this state he is in. You wonder if he would even notice if you let somebody else take your place. 

“He won’t find out,” you say, determinedly, even though you know it is to no avail. Marion is loyal and sweet but she is headstrong enough to not give leeway to every idea of yours. You love that about her, even if right now it is giving you a headache. 

She takes the gem from you and loops it into your hair with her magically talented fingers. “Maybe in a moon or two, when that lad doesn’t give me the collywobbles anymore. If that does ever happen.” 

“Alright then. But will you get word to them that I shall return soon?” You ask. Whenever you ask for things with Marion, you feel a bit childlike and silly. 

She smiles at you, the little scar in her lower lip stretching as she does. “Of course, your grace.” 

And then after a moment’s silence. “I am certain they forgive you.” 

You nod, but still you decide on a plan. A stupid one, irrational at the very least but a plan nonetheless and you were not really the kind of woman who enjoyed changing your mind. 

Though you had on Benji. In some ways. But that is different. 

You throw a glance at your reflection, decorated and done up. Your father is slowly losing it these days, his festivities growing in both frequency and size, one more ridiculous than the other and you cannot stand it.

You’d be a fool to live so lavishly and in such luxury and turn a blind eye to continue the pursuit of the only thing of substantiality that you’ve ever done in your life. 

Rubies to match the fiery shades of your dress today. 

Rubies found somewhere far away and shipped across stormy seas to find their place somewhere as ridiculous as your hair. 

You cannot stand it, your presentation at the high table next to your family, for everyone to gawk at and soon to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. 

As though she reads your mind Marion pipes up. “The son of Lord Whent is here tonight,” she says. “I hear he has great hair.” 

You scoff. “Yes, great hair and a great hunger for the brothels of the realm.” 

“You may find my lady, that such behaviour may prove itself of use to you.”

A low laugh rumbles from the door and both of you snap around, cheeks flushed and eyes wide. 

Benji stands, hands resting on the pommel of his sword and looking rather amused. 

“I do believe that is an improper topic of conversation,” he says. 

Your arm wraps around Marion’s midriff. “That you should speak of impropriety of all people,” you say. 

He is still a mystery to you. You do not know if he would not go and tattle on your friend if given the chance. 

But he shrugs. “Your brother says that you are to meet him in the court before sunset. Your sister is arriving.”

You gasp, sharp and loud, the quick inhale like a whip to your lungs. “Cordelia?!”

Your maid claps her hands together in excitement.

Benjicot looks a bit confused but he doesn’t scoff or roll his eyes so you presume that he really has decided to move on from his rather aggravating bit. 

“My god, she will hate my dress,” you say but the sheen of joy your face is dipped in betrays the negative nature of your words. 

“Out, Ser Benjicot. Womanly work is afoot in here,” she orders him, too fast with her tongue to worry about fearing him and forces you the other way again. 

He obeys. You see him bow in the mirror and  a small smile tugs at your lips. 

Maybe he wouldn’t be the biggest of your worries. 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Marion is done with you at a speed that should be deemed witchcraft. 

Your hair is neatly pulled out of your face and braided, gleaming with red jewels like a dying fire. 

In general, you look like the roaring fireplace in the banquet halls, layers of shimmering red fabric falling around you. 

There’s a nice breeze today, it tickles at your neck and kisses your cheeks softly, as you await your sister’s arrival at the castle’s main entrance.

Your father is not here, occupied with what he claims to be kingly duties but you suppose is more likely related to the royal wine cellars. 

Your brother speaks in a hushed tone with one of the council members, no longer an oddity with the king occupied so frequently.

Your feet hurt in your new shoes.

Benji shuffles a little bit next to you.

You’ve noticed that he’s never still, a consistent motion in your periphery.

“How do you like my dress?” You ask him, quietly enough that your brother wouldn’t hear, though you doubt he would care to listen.

Your knight hums a little, almost laughs. You expect the jab, twist the sigil ring on your hand, pull yourself together waiting for it but it never arrives. 

“Red’s my favourite colour, Princess.” 

It’s not a compliment. It’s a statement and he says it with all the nonchalance he should have, because it isn’t a compliment. 

But the little flutter it sends down your spine has all the characteristics of being complimented. 

You almost thank him but then you think better of it and just nod to yourself. You would tell him what your favourite colour is, or that you enjoy red as well but it feels too friendly. You’re not even sure if anybody knows your favourite colour. You’re not too certain if you have one at all, now that the matter has crossed your mind. 

But you are certain that it is not the colours of your house, as it is the case with Benjicot. 

What a foolish thing to be racking your brain over, you think but luckily the horn serves as salvation from your faults. 

The gates creak upon to reveal your sister and her entourage, all of them in a royal shade of dark green. She married into the neighbouring kingdom, her blood now runs in their colour. It has been over half a decade but you cannot get used to the sight of it, her days spent draped in your house’s symbols are all gone. 

The courtyard is almost empty. Good. No need for formalities.

You fiddle with your fingers as the carriage swings open, lightning running through your veins. 

Her face is just as it always is and your sister, after stepping down with caution, at the sight of you, immediately opens her arms. 

Your brother laughs, wholeheartedly as you plunge forward, like a horse nudged on, gravel flying up beneath delicate heels. 

She smells different and she is older but she feels all the same to you, just as she had when you were a little girl hanging onto her skirts. 

Your giggling melts together, a vibration of both your chests. 

“Oh darling girl, how I have missed you,” she whispers, soft kisses pressed into your hair. “You’ve grown into a wonderful woman.” She cups the side of your face and you lean into it. 

“Alright, what about me,” Tristan calls out, arms out by his side. 

Cordelia grins at him and steps past you. “I imagine the heir to the throne gets enough attention as is,” she taunts but she greets him nonetheless, with the same affection she had for you. 

“There is never enough,” he says, before he says something into her ear. Quietly and quickly. 

She nods and then she regards your knight, now solely left behind, waiting to accompany you. “Ser Benjicot Blackwood, I gather?”

He bows his head, looks at her through that tousled mop of hair of his. “Yes, your highness.” 

She laughs. “Goodness, such decorum. I am Cordelia here. My queenship leaves me within the walls of my home.”

Benji nods but he does not correct himself. It would be odd, you suppose. He doesn’t even call you by your first name, why would he do so with a Queen. 

Cordelia gives your side a nudge with her elbow. “Quite handsome,” she says, much to your dismay loud enough for him to hear. 

Your cheeks begin to burn. “He is sworn to protect me, sister.” 

She just shrugs, indifferent to your embarrassment as siblings tend to be and then steps along. 

“I do hope there won’t be a scene made over my arrival,” she calls over her shoulder, you and Tristan hurrying along. “The maester recommended I do not subject myself to much ruckus, at my old age.”

It would be slanderous to refer to your sister as old. Your brows pull together. “What do you mean? Are you ill?” 

She whirls around to face you, one hand clutching her belly. “You could say so.” 

Your jaw drops and Tristan recoils next to you. 

Her face drops a bit. “Well, at least pretend you are happy for me.” 

“But with your last-.” Her hand flies up, in hopes of silencing your brother. 

“I will not dwell on the past. My husband wishes for an heir, as any king, any noble man would and I can only pray that this one will be a boy.” 

The sweetness of her visit is immediately tainted, it itches on your tongue to utter something at the monstrous prospect of having to witness your sister bear more children for the King of Arbormere near torturous but you do not speak it. 

You clear your throat. “It is good news. And we are happy that more babes will come into the world carrying your kind nature, are we not?” 

You look at Tristan, whose face has drained of colour but he nods still. 

Such is the fate of noble women. Made to squeeze out heirs for their highborn husbands. 

And such will be your fate one day as well.

Cordelia presses her lips together and inhales deeply. “Yes, I shall stay in our kingdom until delivery. My king thought it might help for an easier birth.” 

The good in this gleams through and you find it in you to be joyful. “At the castle?”

She nods. “Yes, a few weeks and then I thought I might go north, to mother's home.”

You clasp your brother’s arm. “Might I go with her then?”

Benjicot shuffles. Sometimes you think he is trying to speak this way, as though encoded. 

“No. Father won’t allow it. There are no suitor’s to be met in the north.”

You roll your eyes. “There are no suitor’s to be met,” you mimic, voice squeaky and high. 

Behind you, you can hear Benjicot fail to stifle a laugh. 

Cordelia extends her hand toward you. “We have a few weeks together, don’t we?”

Not enough. Never enough. 

“That dress of yours is ridiculous,” she adds, but she says it fondly. 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The atmosphere at the banquet is odd. You cannot quite place it, but your brother won’t cease his whispering with various members of the court. 

Cordelia, though you’ve spent the better half of the evening dancing, has now begun watching everything the way a predator may watch its next meal. She does not look happy. 

Though, your father is as reliable as always. King Alexander is doing a wonderful job as presenting himself as the drunken decadent rake he is known to be, though Lady Cathcart has been brazenly replaced with what you can only assume is a common whore. 

You feel bad for her, you cannot imagine that it must be fun to spend one’s days entertaining men, let alone men such as your father. 

Benjicot is excused from his services for the night at your father’s command, he had lingered in a corner of the room for a while but he disappeared a while ago. 

You are pining for a good moment to slip out of the room, Cordelia’s power to protect you from annoying princelings and highborns only going so far. 

Lord Whent, despite having stayed true to Marion’s promise of having great hair, had spent his time talking to you staring down your corset and otherwise seemed to like himself a bit too much. 

“Cordelia?” You whisper.

She does not look at you when she replies, eyes still trained on someone in the crowd. You cannot figure out who it is when you follow her eye line. “Yes?”

You get up. “I shall be right back.” 

She nods. 

You do not stop for the formalities of bidding goodbye or greeting anybody you pass, the doors close behind you and with one quick scan, you begin to run. Your foot is bleeding, warm liquid gathering and you curse the cobbler behind your pain. 

Your feet carry you deep into the basement of the castle, the scent of darkness and dampness strong in your nose and then you finally reach your chamber.

Marion’s fiance had helped you set it up over the course of the past few years.

Scandalous as can be, you reach into your cleavage where your key is hidden and swing the doors open. 

You must hurry. It is much more difficult to find your way out of the castle without your maid by your side to guide you and you cannot waste time. 

You are a flurry of red rushing around the room, collecting all the herbs you need. A jar bangs to the ground and you wince at the noise it makes, wince even more when you realise that the last of your melted bear fat now seeps into the dirty floors. 

“Bollocks,” you curse but you cannot do anything, except hope that there will be a hunt soon. Though Ser Rodrick would no longer be able to retrieve it. 

“What in the name of god is this?” A voice rings through the small room and you almost cause more distraction, just quick enough to stop yourself from screaming. 

Your knight stands in the door, looking at you both confused and enticed. 

You swallow thickly. “Uh.”

Words have blipped from your head, your mind suddenly a blank sheet of paper.

Benji walks in, looks around behind him and closes the door. “I can’t imagine that this is part of your royal duties.”

Surely, there are some words you could say now. Anything really, would do. Just anything to defend yourself. 

He snorts. “Not in the talking mood?” He looks around. 

Dried plants hang from the wall, a cauldron stands in the middle of the room, jars are filled with various concoctions.

Oh this looks horrible.

“I do not practise witchcraft,” you croak out. 

“Sure does not look like it, princess.”

You set down the ingredients clutched to your chest. “It is medicine.”

He picks up a small vial, admires the brown liquid in it. “For who?”

“Nobody. For fun.”

He doesn’t believe you. “It gets boring.”

“So you go after your hobbies after nightfall? During banquets?”

You nod and go to take the vial from him, but he is quicker, arm raising above you. “Does the king know? Your brother?”

A scowl etches onto your face, your arms crossed. It is quite annoying how tall he is. “I don’t believe it is proper to keep my belongings from me, Ser Benji.”

“Is it proper to brew potions in the dungeons?”

“Why would you follow me?”

He shrugs. “You looked quite distressed. And it seemed unnecessary to spend a moment longer with those highborn leeches.”

You raise your eyebrow, grasping for some sort of higher ground. “Not even the ladies?”

Benji chuckles, a low rumble. You are close enough to think you feel it. “Do not take it to heart, princess, but I do not care for those puppets who care for nothing but appearances.” 

You huff. “Only a man would make such rude assumptions.”

“And yet it is a man who has discovered your secret.” He tilts his head. “Now who are you making this stuff for? Your maiden?”

You attempt to jump for the vial but it is no use. “I do not trust you.” 

“Who would I tell? I do not wish to have your surveillance become more intense. It’s annoying as it is.” 

The broken blister hurts now, and you are glad the shoe is red, otherwise you’re certain it would have been ruined by now. Frustrated, you step back and sit down on the nearest chair, lean back, arms dropped at your side and legs stretched out. 

It is a question of luck, but you don’t think he would let these matters rest without plausible explanation. 

“There’s a family on the outskirts of the city. I met them on one of those horrible charity visits. They couldn’t afford to pay for these aids and so I took matters into my own hands. And then they told people that there is a way to help and it kept going.”

You meet his eyes and you are suddenly struck by their warm hue of green. 

A beat of silence passes. “So you are…a secret apothecary?”

You shrug. “Maybe not adept enough to call myself such. Sourcing knowledge about it is quite tiresome and tedious. And I must do it in secret. It is frowned upon for women, but even more so for a princess. And I do not wish to be accused of doing devil’s work.”

“Well, the dungeon isn’t doing much to alleviate that connotation,” he says. 

Is he joking? 

A small smile tugs at your lips. “I suppose so.” 

You draw in a breath. “Please do not speak of this with anyone.” 

He nods and gives the vial back to you. That one is for Marion, womanly matters. You are glad now, that you’ve never taken up to label the things in here.

“How do you get them to the people?”

“Ser Rodrick and Marion.” The lie comes to you quick and easy. It is only half a lie. 

You bend down and take off your shoe. Normally, you would not, but having exposed perhaps your most vulnerable secret, you do not see any reason to feign dignity and suffer for it. 

“I must finish this tonight. There’s a case of colic rushing through town.”

He is watchful, like your sister had been, but with much less disdain, as you go on with what you had started. 

Diligently you powder up anise and cumin and add it to the broth that you had let simmer over the last few days. You do not have cormorant blood at hand but alas one must make due with what they have sometimes.

You walk barefooted, careful to mind the shards and to your surprise, Benji begins gathering them, lips curled as he does. “What the fuck did you keep in that?”

You offer him a bemused hum. “Fat from a strong bear.”

“Has it been there since the dawn of time? Why does it smell so terrible?”

“Only since the last hunt. Four moons ago.”

He shudders and tosses the gathered glass into the fireplace. Remnants of its content sizzle in the heat. 

Silence befalls you again and he stands closer now, right next to you, as you begin to fill five separate flasks. 

“Should I take it to them then?”

A stray hair falls into your face, like a curtain between the two of you. “That would be wonderful.” 

You don’t like the idea. It is not a happy freedom you got by sneaking out of the castle to tend to the frail, but it was a taste of true freedom nonetheless. And you do not like giving out the medicine without clear instructions. 

But there is no choice for you to make. 

“The last chapel before the city walls, behind it you will find Theo. He will distribute it. Tell him they who receive it, must take three spoons in the morning with a bit of bread. And then the same again at night, until they feel better. And if they have some left even though they are healthy, they can keep it, in case the disease returns. There’s wine in it, it won’t turn bad.”

“As you command, princess.” 

You tuck your hair back. “If you wish, you can call me by my name.”

Benji steps back and leans against the wall. He ignores your offer. 

Too soon. Too friendly. 

“Take that satchel. We don’t need the court thinking you’re a drunkard as the king is.” With the nod of your chin you point to where it rests on a shelf. 

Something flits across his features, the shadow of something left unsaid but it is gone before you can place it. 

He takes it and slings it across his chest. You hand him your work and the tips of his finger brush across yours but this time it feels different.

You stand before him barefoot, vulnerable, your faith put into his ability to be true to his word. It makes your skin feel raw. 

If he recognises the delicacy of the situation, he does not show it. 

“I should accompany you to your chambers,” he says. And you want to protest, but you do not. Instead you lean forward, close enough to feel the rise and fall of his breaths and pull at the bookshelf behind him. It swings open and reveals a narrow staircase. 

His brow raises as he turns his head. “Impressive. Though I am less and less convinced that you are not a witch.”

“Do not make such jests,” you chastise, but you say it with warmth. 

taglist:

@dancingbaek

@jhepolie

@knight-of-flowerss

@majoso12

@rebeccawinters

@poppyflower-22

@nixtape-foryou

@accidentpronedork

@xlittlefiend

@vqmpyrecult

[hummingbird-games]

2023 In Review (Indie Games)

Last year's! | 2021

I apologize in advance for how long this might be. As a reminder, I don't bash games here so even if I hated something with every fiber of my being...I ain't sharing. As a second reminder, my more in depth reviews and live blogging has moved to Gem's Game Gems so I don't clutter the HBG's main blog. Okay. ON WITH THE REVIEW!!

DEMOS

Diffraction (Demo)- A rainy day otome indeed. I love the quiet gentleness of this game, the two romance options, and the fact that our MC is a photographer and struggling with her art and stack of life "failures" (because...SAME!!)

Alaris - I was asleep and now I am awake: I came late for the advertised fae and dragon lore, stayed seated and waiting for Fenir zjgjdf. Oh, and I guess the mystery surrounding our MC's abilities LOL.

The Summit Library - When I say I was maaaaaad when I realized I blew through chapter 1 and would have to go back to waiting for more content??? LOL, I was very miffed. Anyhoo, check out this title for the gorgeous art, another intriguing mystery (like what is *up* with the magic in the poor library?? who or what is to blame?? 👀) and of course the lovely characters we've been introduced to thus far.

Of Sense and Soul - I'm a regency romance girl. Like after you strip away the other stuff, I am but a poor woman with simple needs: a good ass love story 🤧💛 It's about the yearning and the slow burn and the will they/won't they/PLEASEEE they...I've never been so charmed by a demo, and the full game is going to be amazing I just know it!

Made Marion - This project is a game I've been keeping tabs on for a hot minute but hadn't taken the time to sit and properly enjoy the demo. I'M SO GLAD I DID!!! It's in early access now, so I'm hoping eventually I'll be able to carve out some time to play, but guysss Velvet Cupcake is doing the Thing?!? No idea which love interest I'll go for first, but I had a fun time meeting the Nottingham peeps in the demo.

Herotome (Super Demo) - Oh gosh. Oh gosh oh gosh oh my GOSHHH. Where do I even began?? (Really the question is where the hell do I end because this is one of those projects I talk about a lot/think about a lot and surprisingly haven't run out of things to say zkjfksjd). Another game I've been following for a while, it 100% lives up to the superhero genre in its aesthetic, the characters you interact with, the music and sound design, and of course the slowly unfurling story. Jade and Mia had come out as my top faves, Warden is still there, like hovering in the backgroud, shhhh but I have a special place in my heart for Griffin too (that conversation we have with her?? I have so many screenshots just so I can go back and reread and sear the words in my brain. Like a weirdo. Yup.)

Celestial Crowns - Stats building, celestial royalty, dating sim where you fuck around and find out your choices directly affect your MC's personality?? I'm sat. I supported the Kickstarter and now I try to practice patience for the full game's release siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighh.

OTOME/JOSEI JAM

Please note this is a SUPER abridged list for my sanity and I fell a little more in love with these 2 jams with each entry I played...

Intertwine - As embarrassing as it sounds, I've never given much thought to the "red string" thing, and I consume more than enough romance media LOL!! But Van is suuuuuch a beautiful man, the UI for this game is so interactive and lovely, the music is ALSO lovely, just lovely-love all the way around teehee. (Also this game encourages replayabillity so like, do with that info what you will.)

Spring Boy [Demo] - I believe this game is going through a complete rehaul, so my thoughts and feelings refer to the original jam entry I played. The art is bright and cute and it's a super super short demo, but I was intrigued by the other student we meet on our mission to plead with our professor about our bombed exam lol!

Assignment Due: Project Blue - IRl group projects??? Suck absolute ass. Group projects with a guy name Asher?? Suddenly it's my new favorite thing in the world 😁

Cryptid Campaign Manager [DEMO] - Remember the last time I looked over a cryptid dating sim??? Remember how I was SUCH a fool?? Good thing I didn't make that mistake again!! The prologue is such a tease but you get an idea of what the full game is gonna be like, and I'm excited to see where my career involving love (and politics) goes!

Heart Cage [Demo] - Yoooooo I stay my ass far far far away from yanderes (could never get into the trope or the character type). WELP. Guess I just needed to keep searching because I really downloaded this off a whim--well, the whim being one of my fellow dev peers playing and rating-- and proceeded to get sucked in 🤧I thought being a detective would be the highlight, but I guuuueeesssss I was more into the romance options than I thought. Oops.

Evernight - I tried to explain what this game meant to me on the side blog, but words failed me. I still don't know what to say other than I loved it?? Which is like ummm I say I love everything, and yeah I'm easy to please BUT Y'ALLLLLL if you play no other game, play this one. Please. Date a werewolf. Or a vampire. Or a fae. Plz. Also figuring out the mystery of your MC's abilities and past is just delightful, ugh.

Bright Oak (demo) - Anotha one I wrote about on the side blog!!! Play this one!!! The writing is lush and atmospheric and the characters are all delightful and it's another game with a mystery to untangle!

The Faithfulness of the Universe- This one gets the award for most unique all around entry that I played. Theeeeee prettiest pixel art to bless my eyeballs, and this tasty mystery concerning Fate and witch Faustina's future (or lack thereof 👀) and what it all means. As a player I very much want to know what it all means!

A Cup For All Seasons - Another game that needs its flowers y'all. It's short but super healing and super cozy and the voice acting and music really tie the gaming experience together???

The Working Woman's Guide to Burning Bridges - DEMO - It's the way I played the demo twice and I've been thinking about it ever since 😭😭😭🙃 obviously life happens and things come up, plus this was a demo. But. BUT!!! I am on my hands and knees prayinnggg the team gets together again to finish the game. I love playing as a stressed, lowkey bitter hot mess who doesn't have her life together 😂somehow the fictional version is soooo much more entertaining!!!

Keyframes (Spring Demo) - After the game College Craze, this is legit THE college, slice of life visual novel of my dreams. I cannot wait for the updated demo next year, and the Kickstarter whenever that rolls around. And now that the developer is on Tumblr, I've definitely been stalking the account and reading each new post like it's my day/night/weekend job 🤧

Hello Counsel 💋 - Okay I take it back, Evernight is like a 20/10 but Hello Counsel is like an 100/10 👁️👄👁️ This game is necessary for my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health, alright? The banter ✅ the character designs ✅ the music ✅ the sizzling chemistry between Poise and Salem ✅ I wish this game had more buzz because IT'S SO GOOD!!! (also the dev, Miseri, is who I wanna be when I grow up. I've made it through almost their whole backlog of games and there are no misses and EVERY game is different from the rest and it makes it hard for a toodler dev--ME--to cope LOL)

Candied Hearts - Isekaied into a candy themed game?? Sign me TF UP!!! (Peppermint I love you dearly, you must understand.)

Fully Released & Played (at least 1 playthrough)

The Knight's Dilemma - I don't even know how I originally stumbled upon this??? I just know it had been in my backlog for a hot minute and I was intrigued enough to save it way back when. Y'ALL WHY DIDN'T I PLAY SOONER SKJFHFJFH! There's a couple different endings, I loved the voice direction, AND it's such a simple concept of a game that was just executed beautifully.

Trouble Comes Twice - If I had to make a top 5 list of romance VNs, guess who makes the list?? Guess. Guess guess guess. Have you guessed yet??? LOL! I have been in love with TCT since it's development days and with each passing month, waiting in anticipation, playing the Pateron beta builds, screaming on the main blog about every single thought I had about Jace and Hazel (shoutout to Jace for helping me figure out *me*) Lol if you're curious about said thoughts, those posts are on this blog and not the side blog.

Aelfric the Wondrous - 10/10 would love to forget my first play through JUST to have that experience fresh again 😭😭💛Cute and funny and a wonderful parody type game all around.

A Summer's End - Hong Kong 1986 - Goodness, there's no excuse for why this took me years to finish but anyhoo, I finished, I loved it, I recommend it! It's romantic and achingly authentic and the art is soooo gorgeous I literally can't stand it 😭

The Things You Do For Love - Unhinged yandere manages to entertain and garner sympathy and laughter from Gemini. And that poly ending is chef's kiss too????

Band Camp Boyfriend - There are a handful of games I found and loved before I began my game development journey, and this is one of them. BCB is so dear to me, because of the story and characters but also because of the Dynamic Duo creators and their team behind the scenes. I was never a band kid I was a chorus kid but just as the band geeks loved this game to pieces, us normal folks do too!! Even the boys who I didn't like I STILL managed to find joy in playing their routes (still have a few more to finish at the time of this posting lol, GOTTA GET THE FINAL ROUTE YO). Anyway, this game more than delivered for me and I hope more people keep discovering it!!

Belle Automata: Chronicle I [RELEASED] - While only Chronicle 1 is out at the time of this posting, I already know that the 2nd and 3rd parts are going to be just as amazing???? I wrote about this one on the side blog, so here's my copypaste that still rings true:  

I love TNP (The Nightmare Prince) but Victor’s route hit the sweet spot for me. Maybe it’s the slow(er) burn nature of this route, maybe it’s the reserved nature of Victor and watching him slowly start to care (AND NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THOSE FEELINGS TEEHEE) for me.

A Date with Death - I wrote about this on the side blog--again--. The demo. And then right after finishing a route. And then again where I was fully awake and still managed to sound deranged. No copypaste for that, I shall be nice. But yeah!! Another game where I was screaming at the sky about how much I love it and how I'll never know peace as long as I live.

Our Life: Baxter DLC - I need to offer an official apology to both Cove and Derek because falling head over heels, down the stairs, crashing into the parking lot, falling again but down a manhole for Baxter's infuriating ass was NOT on my 2023 bingo board??? HELLO???? I bought his DLC just to complete my OL collection. Was not expecting to love it this much. Was not expecting to be called to write fanfic and abandon all responsibilities to do this. WHILE DOWN WITH COVID TOO. Allow me to play the song of my people. *Send in the Clowns plays*

Our Cinderella - (this is so funny I'm taking about a side game before the main game LOLOLOLOL) Guys. Guysss. You guyyyysss 🥹if you're looking for a cozy, hilarious, equally oddly and wonderfully sweet short game, this is the one!! You may have your personal favorite Iggy ship (like me) but all the pairings are so amazing and just make sense lol!

Wylde Flowers - This is the only non visual novel game on here but it gets the spotlight because I did NOT spend 90+ hours on this game to gatekeep this beauty. No. It the coziest, the funniest, the funnest, the most addictive Switch game (after Teacup) I've ever played.

Fully Released (& still on 1st playthrough)

Garden of Seif: Chronicles of an Assassin - Life kicked my butt and then sat on me SO while I finally got my grubby hands on the full copy, I still have only played the entirety of the demo. But. We will return to this in 2024 and hopefully I'll have a full review for the next wrap up!

Our Wonderland - I looked back at the side blog and I can't believe it was only THIS year that I started OW??? Because I'd known of the game and the dev for longer than that??? So basically what I'm saying is that I was chicken shit for longer than I've been in love with this world that Developer Carrot has created kjzhhshggj. But OMG to get me, who is scared oh so easily to get hella invested in this clearly labeled horror game??????????????? And even with shit gets super absurd and hella disturbing, I cannot stop playing. At the time of this post, I'm only in Act 4, hence the category above, but it's only because I play each act in a sitting and lose track of space and time and myself. That's a compliment btw.

...

Okie!! That's 2023 in a nutshell! I played a looooot of really good games this year and while I would have liked to talk about them all, I think this list provides a nice overview.

Let me know if we share any favorites!

- Gemini 💛

[piratemadi]

hi :) this is certainly a question out of nowhere but i’ve been rewatching black sails and i just got to the part with max & drowning the cat and i feel like i’m MISSING smth djdnjd i can see the metaphor for fixing the cause not the symptoms but idk is there smth more do u think?? wld love to hear what u think if u can :-)))

this ask is 4 months old but ty for sending it :* but literally max's greatest counterrevolutionary moment like her drowning the cat isn't just abt fixing the "cause" of the problem it's pinpointing an innocent suffering animal as the "cause" of the problem as opposed to the cause being the cruelty of the father. max isn't actually interested in solving problems systemically even tho she's well aware of their existence (& even has a reasonably good understanding of them!) bc she's a deeply pessimistic, misanthropic, & faithless person as a result of what she's been thru. she does not believe the father (whether that refers to richard guthrie's father or to her own father or the empire as father) can be or will be changed or destroyed. so the solution is to kill the cat, because it's small & easy to kill.

it's interesting bc when you think of the resistance portrayed by the show you don't see the pitiable & weak. yes we have women & children involved but the pirates & the maroons are not easy victims! i think what max more directly means here in her conversation with marion guthrie is to kill the spirit of the resistance. remember what destroys the revolution isn't public executions or mass re-enslavement, it's the strategic dismantling of the most powerful factions & their relationships with one another. she is killing the most innocent & beautiful thing about the revolution, which is the will towards unqualified liberation, solidarity, & hope.

in another way tho & this is what makes it so delicious max is also talking abt herself. she is without reservation the most physically defenseless main cast member & she is repeatedly punished for that fact. she's killing the cat in the bahamas but she's also killing a part of herself! this is what max does it's a trademark part of her character she kills parts of herself so that other parts may survive. in this conversation she is amputating a part of herself that she realizes will not survive an alliance with guthrie. so she kills it on her own terms.

the sad thing is that it's never going to work. the will to revolution is never going to truly die. suffering will always go on. max will always have to retreat farther & farther. there will always be more sacrifices to make. because the truth is that this kind of system functions on suffering the empire runs on misery & inshallah people will always resist it. people will always fight for their survival, homes, families, & to live & die in dignity. so she will keep drowning the cat & it will keep coming back. truly the greatest character ever written