#masculinity in bl

[blbeloved]

GelBoys Ep 6 Musings

The feminist ethic of care, the sine qua non of BL that separates it from mainstream gay media, is conspicuous in Gel Boys by how the creators address its absence. It is absent in some (three) of the relationships, but it is very present in (two) others. Before a couple can become good lovers, this production suggests, they must first become good friends.

Women can relate to this current in the narrative well because they suffer this in their relationships with men all the time; men who they’re genuinely interested as people refuse to maintain close relationships of emotional intimacy with women if they won’t get the sexual payoff they prioritise more. In that sense this seam in the narrative is not about being gay rather but *Masculinity* not allowing men to be fully human by having their emotional repertoire restricted to a narrow range of potentials. This is harmful to men as well as women because, if we are to thrive in the emotional sphere, transactional relationships cannot be a human norm.

The provocative means by which GelBoys raises male sexual ethics, in all its simplicity and occasionally its complexity, is what makes each episode gripping. I’ve watched some adult BL reactors writhe in discomfort not just because we’ve all had these experiences as teenagers but because for many men this is still the painful and unfulfilling reality they live. GelBoys strikes us all in a visceral way.

The red/flag green flag discourse these provocations elicited among viewers may have been more useful if they weren’t misinterpreted by an excess of postmodernesque “every transgression is valid”. The subtle distinction being missed by many is not simplistically that we shouldn’t write-off young people as red flags while they’re still developing their characters, as too many mistakenly assert, but that its in the interest of young people that behaviours which are objectively red flags should not be minimised or go unchallenged regardless of age.  The urgency of this second more correct reading is obvious in the crisis of loneliness, alienation and emotional disconnection we can see adult males complaining of today. Bad habits formed in childhood and not broken early are extremely difficult to jettison in adulthood.

Good Relationships are Ends in Themselves:

In Ep6 we’re not only fully aware of Bua’s manipulating patterns but why. He wants and needs to be the centre of someone’s life and he is willing to use sex to do it. Again the narrative is pointing to how men use sex not just to get the relational intimacy they really crave but also to how sex is used as a substitute when they can’t get it.

We do not know definitively what Bua’s sexual orientation is but we do know he has a hole inside him that social media cannot compensate for, ie the basis of all love - care. As such Bua’s relationships with Chian, Moo and Baabin are means to an end, not ends in themselves. Bua’s relations with other boys so far cannot be considered to be motivated by care and therefore not love; they are not even reciprocal, just extractive. This inevitably frustrates and hurts everyone involved.

Similarly Fou4Mod didn’t need to introduce a sexual aspect to his relationship with Faifa. They already had a solid relationship, however Fou4Mod needs the peer validation he thinks only a sexual relationship can provide so he *uses* Faifa for that. Through this exploitative miscalculation he loses one of his most dependable and non-transactional relationships.

GelBoys Critique of Masculinity Norms:

GelBoys’ conveying of Baabin’s character returns the Uke to his rightful place as star of the BL Show, something that has been missing in dozens of recent Thai BL productions. Baa is the least conforming to the masculinity norm of not investing relationships with care. Baa is also straightforward with his opinions; speaks the truth sometimes gently, sometimes harshly; is faithful to his own feelings, and is empathetic to the emotional needs of others.

Hence, Baabin in their kissing scene, is characteristically honest to Bua saying the kiss is just a curiosity for him, not a declaration of romantic intent. Which is fine as the odd one-off because he’s a teenager and this is experimentation done with full disclosure, which Bua accepts without so much as a wrinkle.

The next morning Baabin makes the effort to hide his gel manicured toes so they won’t raise a problem when he’s alone with Fou4Mod because he’s ready to mend their estrangement and he’s conscious of F4M’s fragile emotional state. Baabin repeats his identical position in the 4-way zoom meeting – he’s not romantically interested in Bua.

How anyone could have seen the lead up to that kiss scene, listened to their dialogue afterwards which is congruent to both characters in the scene, and conclude that this was going to be a love match, I do not know. Perhaps this says how much our generation has become inured to sexual relations without any emotional element of care as an acceptable norm for men.

What’s up with Chian’s sudden 180 degree:

Similarly, Chian, a person who has had no romantic interest in F4M for 5 episodes but was happy to fool round with in case it is instrumental to spur Bua to get jealous and somehow return his affection, is in real time, suddenly ready to commit to F4M? Didn’t we just watch him despairing that his social media post isn’t even being viewed by his close “friends”?

Isn’t Chian also having a crisis of loneliness, defined by lack of social media attention - not lack of F4M, when he is motivated to act out of character by the realisation that F4M might be at a loose end? Should we not take Chian’s historical context as relevant to his real desires? Even Fou4Mod is shocked at this abrupt about turn.

No Love is Presented as a Transaction:

So far it’s been a game of schemes and transactions for Chian and Bua in the way they have dealt with each other as well as with Fou4Mod and then Baabin. Only the romantic affection of Fou4Mod for Chian, and that of Baabin for Fou4Mod seem to me to be sincere and demonstrate authentic care – Fou4Mod and Baabin pursue these relationships as important, meaningful and fulfilling in and of themselves. These motivations and actions are more likely to result in a love relationship - once they’re directed at the right target.

Now having said that, I don’t know where the writer will take things from here in the episode seven finale. Still I sincerely do not want to see a time-skip cop-out like IPYTM instead of a conflict resolution arc and a rebuilding of earned trust in the relationship first as friends, then - perhaps, as boyfriends.

Onto Ep 7…

[asexualbuthorny]

you know what i hate?

when bitches wobify Mu Qing and make him into a twink and i especially despise it when they do it for a ship with Feng Xin.

and okay he's not as muscular and more lean (hence being describes as looking scholarly) but do y'all fucking forget the man is a martial god in his own right? by no means is that man a damsel in distress that needs Feng Xin to constantly save him. he's smart, he's cunning and yeah he had a few vulnerable moments but by no means is he a poor wet meow meow he would kick your ass and laugh at you for being a failure. and yeah he's more lithe, especially when he's constantly next to Feng Xin who is kind of hypermasculine in fandom portrayals and impo (general "gigantic masculinity" anyone?) and those two are THE SAME FUCKING HEIGHT so why is Mu Qing always drawn to be much shorter than Feng Xin. and also maybe let's factor in the fact that Mu Qing was poor when growing and likely had to go without food so the lack of proper food while growing probably had an effect on his development(this just a hc btw but still it tracks). also this whole thing kind of smells really bad when people take Mu Qing, who is described as scholarly, and feminise him. it's really giving "EUGH!!! school is for girls!! only boys play sports!! academics=lame, feminine girly, war=cool, MASCULINE, done by REAL MEN URGH!!!"

y'all saw a man who is a war good who doesn't conform to your idea of a "war god" and went "no❤️that one is a femboi catboi twink who gets bent over by that one who DOES conform to my basic, no nuance idea of a war god"

get bent xoxo

[heretherebedork]

Pit Babe is one of my favorite types to trope that BL does not take enough advantage of and that is 'what happens when your only way out is hypermasculinity but you really aren't like naturally and so wear it like a shield again the softness so deeply inherent in your nature that your cannot risk it being exposed?' and the answer is... Babe. Babe happens.

A hypermasculine racer who tries to avoid any kind of sexual or romantic connection and pretends he doesn't care at all who melts the instant anyone shows him that they can treat him sweetly and loses himself entirely in even the tiniest amount of affection because he has never been able to safely allow himself that affection.

Babe wears masculinity like a second skin and he blocks people out and he snaps and he glares and he teases the friends he doesn't love because they are safe and they remind him that he will never love or be loved because he is not that kind of man and he scoffs and bets the first person who's given him what he wanted on a race because that's what men do. They don't care.

But the longer he spends with Charlie the less comfortable he gets in his second skin. Charlie peels him bare with a stroke of his hair, with a kiss to his forehead, with a sweet smile, with breakfast in the morning, by fighting for him, by protecting him, by waiting at home for him, by soothing him when he sulks and pouts. Charlie found all those soft parts that Babe has been protecting with his masculinity and exposed them so tenderly and so kindly and with nothing more than love.

And I love that. I want more of that. I want more toxic masculine characters realizing the persona they've crafted for themselves is not their true self but rather a mask, armor, a second skin for the world and to be able to expose the softness in the safety of the person they love.

[wolfertinger]

i do want to say, as i have been getting several of these messages, and although i understand they are in good faith, or a place of misunderstanding. i feel there needs to be a bit of sensitivity, when describing salem IRL as appearing more masculine. as he himself has said, he does not put much effort into passing/is unable and unwilling to, and there being many negative stereotypes, about poc and especially blackness, being assumed to be more masculine, by default. genuinely. i would not doubt if this is a major subconscious reason, he leans so much into feminine aesthetics, as a way to reclaim femininity not just as a trans man.

again. i understand, many of these asks are not intending to be racist, nor am i saying the anons themselves are racist. but it is internalized bias, that i feel is very often pushed onto poc.

[lyknest]

we don't have enough men telling each other they're pretty/beautiful/hot/sexy (not cute) in BLs and i think that's a crime

[ineffable-opinions]

Masculinities and Male Androphilia

Wu-Wen

Masculinity in China historically has been (mostly) classified into Wu-type (military - type) and Wen-type (scholarly - type).

Qing dynasty Chinese Water and Land Ritual painting depicting a divine civil official and thunder god in military regalia.

Due to the special nature of Chinese political system (imperial court & civil services), scholar wielded power and influence, often over-taking that of military men. [What about dudes who were neither scholars nor military personnel?]

Wen-wu type masculinities make for some really interesting contrast and is employed in media: BL and others.

Shi Qiang and Wang Miao representing wen and wu respectively in Three-Body (2023) based on the sci-fi novel "The Three-Body Problem" (三体) by Liu Ci Xin (刘慈欣) .

Colonialism flipped this order. It was internalized by the subjects of colonialism too. Its lasting impact can be seen in the recent effeminacy ban* in China’s entertainment industry targeting little fresh meat (xiao xianrou 小鮮肉 ) and pretty boy (huamei nan 花美男) aesthetics.

*sissy pants (niangpao 娘炮)

Protest masculinity

Against (both organic and stereotyped) association of femme-presentation or ‘camp’ with androphilia. Popular opinion inculcated by media is partially responsible.

2. Against a society that doesn’t treat them as equal men. Hegemonic masculinity is constructed in opposition with ‘inferior men’ such as androphilic men and more importantly with women. By adopting visual Wu-masculinity, androphilic men hijacks the visuals, rendering the visual categorization redundant.

3. For gaydar purposes - signaling to men who are androphilic and them alone.

This is not without negative impact:

It can lead to peer-pressure to conform & homogenize to Wu-ideal to the extent that other presentations could get vilified. This can include scorning of soft and delicate aesthetics and femme-bashing.

2. Conforms with the mainstream view – both that of their present-day oppressors, mainly the Wu-exalting, heterosexist, sissy-phobic State and their historic oppressors: colonialism and its modern-day offsprings.

Similar tendencies are observed among androphilic men in Japan, South Korea and Thailand as well.

Recommendations [occasionally updated]

Cheers by Cheers 짠!하면 알 수 있어 [not available currently]

Breakfast by 想再見你

Sesame by 百里屠伕

Shimbashi Koi Story by SHIMBASHI TUGBOAT

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Thai Masculinities

Posts: one two three

To learn more:

Wang, S. (2020). Chinese gay men pursuing online fame: erotic reputation and internet celebrity economies. Feminist Media Studies, 20(4), 548–564. https://doi.org/10.1080/14680777.2020.1754633

Wijngaarden JW de L van. Male Homosexuality in 21st-Century Thailand: A Longitudinal Study of Young, Rural, Same-Sex-Attracted Men Coming of Age. Anthem Press; 2021. [link]

Interpretation and Orientalism: Outing Japan’s Sexual Minorities to the English-Speaking World by Mark McLelland

[blbeloved]

TOMB SWEEPING FESTIVAL WATCH: HE’S COMING TO ME

Today’s Tomb Sweeping Festival, the start of a three day celebration commemorating ancestors in East Asia, is a great time to watch He’s Coming To Me, an excellent Thai BL in the spirit of a centuries-old cultural tradition.

Tomb Sweeping Festival is an annual celebration in China, Malaysia, Singapore, Cambodia, Indonesia, The Philippines, South Korea, Thailand, and Vietnam. The Qingming Festival started in China’s Zhou Dynasty and boasts a history of more than 2500 years.

Perfectly in synch with this tradition, He’s Coming To Me takes us back to those times when TBL was brimming with cultural pride; venerated its own artistic heritage; drew on its own Asian historical icons of the supernatural; and actors weren’t assigned roles depending on their social media following.

HCTM is an ideal representation of the good old days of TBL, when:

The friend group is actually comprised of friends, centering the importance of intimate community and of connectedness to human well-being

Women play leading roles in a healing narrative that don’t remotely rely on misogynistic fujoshi-hate

We actually watch CPs fall in love not just fall into bed

Actors don’t have industry experiences that result in a crisis of confidence in their manhood requiring hyper-masculinising body alterations including dangerous workout drugs, appalling veneers or face-distorting injectables.

Dramatic Awards were won on the basis of sheer artistic talent not the financial clout of corporate sponsors.

Fans didn’t experience the chronic depression rage accompanying highly marketed but soulless series that offer nothing but shirtless sixpack, poor writing and even worse politics, which precedes every fan war - just calming, contented fulfilment.

Luckily we’ll always have He’s Coming To Me.

Happy QingMing Festival!

[mitchell-nihil]

No.6 is my favourite anime not because it's particularly good, but because the pure whiplash of going from expecting it to only SEEM like Shion and Nezumi had a thing going on and that Shion was gonna end with Safu, to suddenly "oh my god they're- OH MY GOD THEY'RE KISSING???"

100% that feeling is NEVER going to leave me

[poetic-crimelord]

You know we never really get personal in here because I think some posting dumb thinking post is well, dumb, but I'm just reflecting about how I don't have faith in ever transitioning with how my life is and with how hard it is, and sure I'm comfortable enough in my skin that I don't care to look like a woman as long as I'm aware I'm me but it just bugs me because I never gonna be able to have other people look at me and see who I see.

[bossthebicon]

I didn’t know gmmtv had it in them to put Joss and Gawin together. It’s not just the companies/media from all over who have a really fucked up idea on what makes a queer couple or what a queer couple should look like and it’s all based in heteronormativity. One almost always needs to be smaller (feminine) and one needs to be taller/bigger (masculine). We even see this in wlw like one needs to be more masculine and one needs to be “the woman.” It makes me sick 🤮. My beautiful gl (me trying to flex on her ❤️) and I have similar styles and people are always shocked by us being a couple. Two feminine people can be together just like two masculine people can be together. Now other shows across the board need to catch up because having one show every once in a while isn’t cutting it.

yeah I completely agree, gender roles are so prevalent even in queer couples & it fucking sucks! the worst thing about bl is that even when two actors in a pairing are the same height & size, we're so used to there being a clear top & bottom every time that we'll pick up on small cues to STILL make them fit that type of binary. in the case of jossgawin it would be skintone (gotta love colorism amiright 🙄), the slight height difference & ESPECIALLY facial features. joss has a super masculine face while gawin has softer features so in this case everyone knows that he's gonna be the "bottom"... (and also the trailer literally has joss carrying him bridal style as if he weighs nothing LMAO.) but yeah anyways, next time I wanna see two more feminine actors paired together in a bl, I think it would be way more groundbreaking since feminine men are sadly very ridiculed by society. I'm very hyped for the tall4tall rep of jossgawin though lol, and girllllll I'm so jealous of you I want a fem4fem relationship so bad 😭😭😭 claiming your energy & congrats on your gf! 🫶

xxx

[scrumptiousstuffs]

Five times Joke shows how adorably whipped he is for Zo and the one time Zo got the clue (💓💓💓💓….we get a 💋 people!!!)

….although from next episode preview, it seems Zo panics and avoids Joke 😮‍💨

Hidden Agenda, episode 4

[kakusu-shipping]

Omg and 💓, 🌸 for Chieko! 💞

Aaaugh I really wanna finish this manga some day!!! For her!!!

Thankyou for asking! Asks from Here

💓 Beating heart — How would you react if they confessed to you? How do you think they'd confess?

M-Madam Chieko c...con-confessing to me?! I-I can't imagine it I-I mean... M-Me??? Aaaaa... I.. I'd have to man up and! And confess back to her of course! A-And, uhm.. T-Take it up a notch and! And ask her to Marry me! Right! Tha-at's what people our age do when they... when they like someone...

(I imagine if Cheiko had feelings for and confessed to anyone, she'd be very straight forward about it. Despite her shy nature, she is the most socially adept of the sisterhood, and I bet if she really put her mind to it she could get through a confession... buuuut it'd probably sound a touch formal. She can really only hold it together in a professional setting.)

🌸Sakura — What's your favorite thing about them?

Favorite thing about Miss Chieko? Well where to start... For one thing she's positively gorgeous, her round face and delicate hands and beautifully long hair. Then there's of course her sense of style, her beautiful Kimonos paired with perfect obis always tied so perfectly and kept wonderfully clean. And then there's of course her craft she's so skilled with a needle and thread, even on her sewing machine she's a master and with such speed without even so much as a glance she can get so much done and then there's her passion now everyone at Amamizukan is passionate of course that's what drew us all together but Miss Chieko specifically has such an air of sophistication when talking about her passions and the care she takes of her dolls is so refreshing like a mother and her children and every single one of them love her right back for it it's such a shame we can't take them out more and then of course-

[neonsbian]

rewatched bad buddy ep 3, the engineering hot girl scene was crazy

[erosroarofart]

Time to roar." Hi guys, I hope you enjoy my content and learn about the structure of the human body in a fun way.

[blbeloved]

Alai wa!

#GelBoys proving my theory that a quality BL release elevates the quality of discourse and community atmosphere in fandom.

A series that makes people Think also confirms positive scientific link with mental health: 5Eps and no depression fights.

#GELBOYSสถานะกั๊กใจEP5

Schlok n awe flops that distract from contemplation and reflection, also dress up highly conservative narratives with rainbow glitter, and simply exploit actors and fandoms for profit.

These leave everyone bereft

Kudos to Director and team for EARNING #GelBoys hype with Talent.

PHOTO

Ep 5 is the loneliness capsule, the second TBL following MSP focussing on a central issue to male quality of life.

SM validation isn’t harmful on its own but is consequential to the extent men and boys have other networks of genuine intimacy, such as F4M has but Bua does not.

When we love someone we are hyper-focussed on their well-being and are alerted with just a glance.

Bua’s Mum can’t recognise his sadness even when he steers her attention to it bc no love there.

Chian responds to Bua’s mood instantly bc that’s where his love lies - not w F4M.

The male loneliness Ep gave us two more scenes where men use sex when they’re hurting emotionally owing to lack of intimacy, something society doesn’t place value on for men and “well socialised” males also reject.

There’s pain and desperation yes, but no desire in these scenes.

[isla24]

The way this hairstyle doesn't look out of place at all on Babe is just WOW. He is so gender I can't. 😭