#mastering the system

[archerdepartures116]

Ill post this au( inspired by tweet above) i started on my twt on Tumblr too

First part

more comic panels below

Second part

Third part

Fourth part

Shenanigans side extra

this is currently an ongoing series, if this does well here, I will continue posting these in bulk (～￣▽￣)～

for more frequent uploads, you can follow my twitter at ArcherD116, feel free to ask me ab this au and give your suggestions!

[sunderwight]

Bingqiu AU where Luo Binghe's the chosen village sacrifice to the evil deity who lives up the mountain.

Normally the village sends maidens, but they've more or less run out of expendable girls of the right age and, ahem, "virtues". So of course Luo Binghe's early life bad luck kicks in. In the wake of his mother's death there's no one to really care about what happens to him, he's fairly pretty, and the village leaders decide that if they dress him up like a girl the teenaged homeless kid should pass well enough. And hey, y'know, he's probably got a hard life ahead for him anyway -- dying in a brothel of some venereal disease or on the streets of exposure or starvation. At least as a sacrifice, everyone else gets to benefit from his loss! And the kid will get added to a shrine and be remembered as a hero! If anything, he should be happy about this!

Binghe is not happy about this.

But he's also a skinny underfed nobody who is easily overpowered, dressed up like a bride, and tied to a post. So. Not much he can do but wait for the evil deity to come and do whatever horrible thing he's gonna do to him.

Meanwhile, Shen Yuan is pretty sure he's been isekai'd into the over-powered hero of some kind of supernatural adventure story? He's not totally sure because he doesn't recognize the setting, but the signs are there. He's got a shrine-like base of operations (though it seems to have become corrupted/ruined, probably he has to restore it somehow), he has a very resilient and handsome new body with spiritual energy of some kind flowing through him, and a very clearly magical sword. Plus lots of neat starter powers! Though it feels like he has other abilities that have been blocked somehow? Probably he has to level up in order to access them.

When he treks out of his "base" and finds what seems to be a distressed maiden, he takes it for his beginner hero mission. The girl claims that she's been doomed to be sacrificed to an evil god. That sounds a little above Shen Yuan's pay grade for dealing with, so he unties her and decides that they had better just get out of the whole region altogether. He already packed up anything useful from his base, anticipating he might get caught up in an adventure once he left, so they follow the river away from the settlement until they reach another one.

While they travel, Luo Binghe tells Shen Yuan about the cursed deity, Shen Qingqiu, who was cast out of the heavens for slaughtering one of his brethren and has apparently being do-who-knows what to maidens from the local village in exchange for his "protection" ever since. Sounds like a real asshole! And also mid-level boss type bad guy at least. Shen Yuan hopes he doesn't have to fight him, but he probably will.

Thank goodness he found Binghe, though! Clearly the helpful little sister type! He's definitely going to require her assistance if he's going to figure out how to navigate this world and level up his skills enough to take on a god.

[eggdrawsthings]

Are you tired of being nice? Don't you just wanna go apeshit?

I know his saber is blue but i made it red for dramatic purposes

[nipuni]

THE DOCTOR We had a pact, him and me. Every star in the universe, we were going to see them all.

My version of The Master and The Doctor in their Academy days 😊

A speedpaint video of this will be available at my Patreon on april 1st!

[river-taxbird]

I get a job interview.

I ask if this position is hiring for candidates based on skill, or based on personality.

They don't understand.

I pull out a chart and try to explain how many companies hire workers based on personality over skill, which excludes historically marginalised people even if they are highly qualified, including people from different cultures to the hiring manager as well as disabled people, especially autistic people who have one of the lowest employment rates of any disability group due to autistic people and non autistic people lacking an intuitive understanding of each others communication styles.

"It's a fair interview process sir."

I go to the interview.

"Tell me about yourself."

They're hiring based on personality.

You're not running a popularity contest, you're running a business.

[wynntermelon]

Slow dance with you

[happypeachsludgeflower]

If I had a nickel for every time a danmei had a good white/light green character with an “evil” dark color/red character as their husband, I would have— a lot of damn nickels. Why does this keep happening??

[endless-nightshift]

There's something so sad to me about the fact Lan Xichen goes from happily encouraging Lan Wangji to befriend Wei Wuxian to Considering Wei Wuxian to be Lan Wangjis 'only mistake'

Like... Imaging getting a miracle second chance not only at life but to have be loved by the man you've always admired only to find out that his family detests you because during the worst time in your life, physically and mentally you didn't take into account the idea that a man who'd always treated with cool acquaintance at best, active distaste at worst actually cared about you and that his constant reproach and effort get you do give up the one method you have to protect yourself while everyone was literally actually out for your head was honestly because he was badly wording his concern and not because he hated you and the methods you used to survive.

[ataraxixx]

Finally drew all the guys today

[scumvillainess]

time travel au where a post-pidw shen qingqiu somehow travels back in time (either through death, the magic that still remains in yqy’s sword, etc.) to when he was the head disciple of qing jing peak.

of course, being able to travel back in time doesn’t come without a heavy price and in this case, shen qingqiu ends up having to give up the ability to feel emotions as an equivalent exchange to being brought back to the past.

shen qingqiu of course thinks this is the greatest gift that he’s ever been given and quickly moves on with his life. everyone else (read: yue qingyuan, liu qingge, etc.) on the other hand, is appropriately freaked out by this new version of shen qingqiu who just doesn’t seem to care anymore about anything or anyone.

[tea-cat-arts]

Ranking mxtx couples by whether or not I think they'd be good parents

(I'm 90% sure I'm forgetting someone)

Yep, next question (S)-

Wangxian: tried and tested good dads. I wish them luck with the whole “trying to get wwx pregnant” thing 

They have some shit to work through, but after that I think they'd be fine (A)-

Ling Wen/ Bai Jin: if we're just going off the original publication, I would put them in a much lower tier, but since the revised edition added that thing about them raising orphans together and said orphans turning out alright before unfortunate circumstances, I'm putting them up here. I think they'll be alright once they work through the miscommunication

Xiao Xingchen/ Song Lan: They obviously have a lot of trauma they're working through, but I'd like to think they and A-Qing will be a loving family in the long run 

One of them would be a good parent, the other wouldn't be a bad parent (B)-

Jiang Yanli/ Jin Zixuan: there's no canon reason for me putting them this low. Jin Zixuan just gives off a mediocre parent vibe to me (and we all know Jiang Yanli is the best)

Yushipei: Yushi Huang has good mom energy, and Pei Ming has been shown to be a not terrible mentor. I'd want the misogyny fully beaten out of him with a mace before I'd think he should have kids of his own though 

Lang Qianqiu/ Little Guy: at the very least, they're making sure Guzi is fed, clothed, washed, vaccinated, and has access to education. Neither of them know what they're doing, but I think Little Guy is good at faking it. I wish them luck in their upcoming custody battle  

You know what, surprise me/ I'll hear you out (C)-

Bingqiu: My first instinct is “no, do not bring kids into this,” but then I remembered tharnShen Qingqiu has a surprisingly decent track record? Like, Ning Yingying and Ming Fan both turned out a lot more health than they did in the original novel, and though I wouldn't call him in a good place, Binghe is doing a lot better than Bingge. The wild card for me here is Luo Binghe because I have no idea how he'd be with kids

Quanyin: Yin Yu had a decent track record until he was pushed into snapping. I think rn, he needs a couple centuries of being a babygirl before he's ready to parent again. No idea how Quan Yizhen would do though 

Born to “dual income, no kids, rich uncles/aunts” (D)-

Fengqing: Feng Xin is canonically a bad dad. I know he's working on it, but it is what it is. Mu Qing has been shown to be decent with kids, but I think he’d have a melt down if he had to deal with the mess constantly. 

Hualian: I mean, Xie Lian has raised three kids at this point and one of them became a god, another became state preceptor and then sorta complicit in a genocide, and one became god AND committed genocide + he babysat a ghost king for months and didn't even realize that's what he was because it was a miracle if he remembered to feed him… so, a mixed bag. Hua Cheng may be schrodinger’s child hater, but I'm intrigued by the idea of him raising kids just because I want to know how his own childhood would influence his parenting abilities. They should probably just stick to babysitting for now though 

Mingling: Liu Mingyan is too busy writing gay porn to be dealing with kids, and I just can't imagine Sha Hualing as a mom

Please don't bring a kid into this mess (F)-

Beefleaf: Do I need to explain this one?

Mobeishang: Shang Qinghua should not be put in any position where he has to teach someone about consent (Binghe’s early attempts at flirting being a prime example of why that's a bad idea). I also think Mobei Jun is still working on the whole “why hitting people is not cool” thing. 

QiJiu: I think the original timeline is a prime example of how they're just not in a place to be raising kids 

Jun Wu/ Mei Nianqing: Xie Lian would like a refund on his adopted father figures. They had one kid and he only made it to age 20 because he was cursed to not die

[sunderwight]

Thinking about this post about "preschool mode" and just imagining a version of a Shen Yuan who had been a preschool teacher before he transmigrated, and keeps habitually approaching all of his disciples and some of his fellow peak lords like that.

[kimbapchan]

Shou’s and their Gong’s swords lmfao Wei Ying has it easy, his husband’s sword isnt a sentient ‘evil’ weapon 👹🥒🫣

[zenlosingit]

One of the funniest ideas I’ve had when creating ideas of Bingqiu having kids is what if one of their kids makes the declaration one day that they want to be a Bai Zhan disciple.

It has to be an absolute record-scratch moment when they hear their kiddo go “i wanna join Bai Zhan!” when asked about which peak they’d choose at Cang Qiong, and the look of horror Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu share when that declaration sinks in.

Cause they have provided the best education for their children since the day they’re born— fitting for a heir of the Demon realm and child to the 2nd ranked peak lord of Cang Qiong. They’ve gone to great links curate lessons plans to their children’s needs, get the best tutors for any subject they’re not acknowledging in, and this one wants to choose the peak of sword-wielding brutes???

Oooh you better believe that Bingqiu are trying everything to convince their kid to choose someplace else— anything else besides Bai Zhan. If they don’t wanna choose Qing Jing that’s fine, stings but it’s fine, there’s plenty more to choose from!

You can learn plenty more about leadership at Qiong Ding if your heart's set on ruling, or there's Qian Cao whose a very respectable choice there's nothing to sneeze at for all those medical skills. If it’s about swords then Wan Jian fits the bill! And yah know, An Ding isn't that terrible.

Just for the love of god, don't choose Bai Zhan.

[jessicas-pi]

I'd love to see an AU where instead of going into exile at the end of ROTS, Yoda decides that even if he's not powerful enough to defeat the emperor, he's sure powerful enough to be a pain in his neck, and devotes the next 20+ years to being the biggest nuisance Palpatine has ever repeatedly failed to destroy.

[friedwizardwhispers]

I truly think the entire dynamic between Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu and just scum villain in general is funnier if Shen Qingqiu is a 19/20 years old at the beginning acting like an immortal master.

And not just because he might be younger mentally than LBH by the end.