#maybe I'll drag her back to tumblr. she's amazing guys.

[themarvelliteraryuniverse]

Going through a partners old long abandoned rp blog makes you feel like you're looking at pictures of your Ex.

[thefallenbibliophilequote]

All You Had To Do Was Stay

Loki x Reader

1989, chapter 5

"They paid the price"

Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even if you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the Stark tower- and that's where our story begins.

Word count: 4,539

Warnings: angst, Hydra, some blood, Loki being an asshole

A/N: what can you expect from track 5 other than angst?

A/N: a big thank you to @chrissquares for the amazing dividers! and @nacho-bucky for beta reading and putting up with me!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Series masterlist

song on Spotify and YouTube

"Soon we'll be landing in another Hydra base." Steve gathered everyone then.

"Okay, Thor you will go with Natasha; Clint you're with Loki; Bucky you will be with Y/N." he hasn't talked to you since that midnight talk. You couldn't blame him, not completely.

The team separated inside the base, eyes searching for the unusual weapons. Lately the activities of Hydra have risen more and more. Their kills were certainly not of normal weapons, the wounds weren't all fatal but the innocents were killed nonetheless.

"We're on the east wing, Steve. According to the tech Bruce gave us, there's some activity where we are heading."

You and Bucky kept your guns up and at three you burst into the room. But it was empty to your surprise. Cautiously, you stepped inside and examined what you saw in there. Grenades and various arsenals were placed inside boxes, and some were outside on tables taken apart with tools besides them.

"Don't touch them, last time I did it exploded in my face."

"I'm not as stupid as you are, Y/N." maybe you could shoot him just to annoy him, you thought.

"Ah, so you found some of our weapons," the voice startled you. "Nice to see you again, Soldat."

Turning around with your weapons, you attempted to shoot the guys that walked in. The scientist in the middle was unarmed, or so you thought. The agents spread out, and at some point they overpowered you because the next thing you knew, your gun was nowhere to be seen, and your arms were pinned behind your back as the guy in front of you got closer.

You couldn't let him do that, now could you? You locked eyes with him until he got hazy and fell to the ground shaking. Knocking your head against the guy that was holding you back, giving you just enough view of him to send him off to the darkest place in his head, all the while you didn't notice the scientist watching you. When he fell to the floor, the scientist sent all the other guys over from Bucky to you, caging you in, you felt yourself being dragged out of the room, yelling for Bucky who was there with only a few agents and the scientists.

Bucky hurried for you but now he could see the strange weapon in the scientist's hand. It looked like a sword, with a gem at the bottom. He fought the scientist and anyone around him but then he felt a cutting wound where the blade pierced through his stomach.

"Sorry this had to end this way, Soldat." The scientist laughed and Bucky fell to the floor with a shriek.

You finally managed to break free from the guys holding you down. Fighting them off one by one, until you managed to get them all to fall down in pain, then you went on to Bucky.

You saw him on the ground bleeding, not even caring about the guys in the room as you fell next to him.

"We need backup, Bucky is down!" you yelled to the comms. You tried to stop the bleeding- it was faster than it should be for a supersoldier.

"This doesn't feel right Y/N, run."

"No." A guy went for you, and you noticed he was averting his gaze from you, but you didn't let it affect you, you surged forward from Bucky and tackled him down and sent him to sleep.

Then you went for the scientist which still held the weapon, now closed back in its place, as he looked at you amused.

"What did you do to him?" you yelled more than asked. Soon enough you heard footsteps and to your relief Bucky was now with Thor and Steve.

Loki looked at the soldier on the ground and then at the weapon he recognized. Worried, he yelled at you.

"Y/N stay in this room, do not leave!" he went forward with his daggers, cut through the agents until he got to the doctor who was trying to run. Catching him and knocking him out, he took away the old weapon. Then he left him there, not caring about him anymore.

Holding the delicate weapon, he went back to the fallen soldier who was still bleeding out.

The god crouched down next to him and a worried Steve and he pulled out the gem at the hilt of the sword, putting it over Bucky's wound. The soldier sighed in relief at the contact, and Loki muttered a quick incantation which helped the soldier heal.

The blonde looked frightened at his friend, who only nodded to Loki in thanks.

The scientist was long gone.

•

He started noticing the subtle change at lunch that day.

Thor had dragged him back to eat with all the others when he insisted on going back to his books. The others weren't as bothered with him today when he sat next to you, each minding their own business. Occasional loud conversations started which he stayed out of until he caught onto one conversation.

"I remember the first time I held a bow and arrow." Clint said before being shot off.

"Nah not interesting Katniss, I think my origin story is way better, I was in a cave!"

The table caught onto the conversation and the roars began.

"I got bitten by a spider!" Peter looked over at Tony. "That's pretty cool, right Mr. Stark?"

"Yeah kid, that is badass." Tony ruffled the kid's head.

"I'm a Russian spy, that's more badass!" Natasha quipped.

"The kid can lift an elephant and stop a vibranium arm!" Bucky chuckled.

"I was holding back, I wasn't going to punch a kid!"

"Sure you were." Peter blushed under the Sergeant's look. Tony just brought him in a side hug.

"Does a sad unwilling origin story count?" Bruce asked, cleaning his glasses.

"Do you really want to start this, Doc? I was drafted." Bucky snickered.

"In that area, Y/N has a good shot actually." You huffed at that.

"Understatement, I don't even know where these powers came from. My origin story is the only one that can make it to Buzzfeed Unsolved!"

"Add to that what happened at the start- now that was brutal."

You took a sip out of your glass and clanked it with Bucky and Bruce.

"Y/N, what are they talking about?" Loki leaned to whisper to you.

"Oh nothing, don't worry about it." She shrugged him off

"What about my brother? Why don't you join the conversation-" Thor put a hand on the younger brother's shoulder. The brother only scowled.

"Oh please, being a prince with magic, then wanting to take over New York and failing? I'd hardly call it a good competition to what we have here." You snorted. Silence spread over the room, you put your drink down and looked around confused. Some were looking at you, Natasha bit down on her tongue, the others were looking down uncomfortably. Wanda spoke up before you could question your team.

"Hey, mine is out of spite!" Wanda chimed in, her perky voice released the tension in the room. "I obviously win."

Loki remembered those days when he stayed even in the mornings and you would come back from work and tell him all about your day. You'd lay there on your couch or on a stool in the kitchen and you'll tell him all about your day until he eventually felt comfortable telling you all about his, letting you into his life.

Loki walked out of the elevator to your floor, annoyed that he couldn't just teleport himself to the door of your apartment.

He heard your voice telling him to come in after he knocked, turning the knob of the door, he walked in and saw you organizing the living room table with plates and drinks.

"What do we have here?" he nodded to the boxes lying on the bigger table. You chuckled as he closed the door and locked it.

"Well hello to you too, Loki." You looked around, biting your lip. "What do you mean?"

"Those boxes, what did you do?" he eyes them suspiciously as he sat down on the sofa.

"I got us Pizza?"

"A what?" he looked at you like a confused puppy and you hated how adorable he looked.

"You're joking, right?" you put one box on the table. "I know you're British or whatever, but are you seriously telling me that where you are from- they don't have Pizza? What kind of uncultured place do you come from?"

"Maybe I'll tell you another time." He grinned lowly, if only you knew.

He perked up as you opened the box and a welcoming smell filled the air.

"Loki, meet Pizza." You grinned at him and expectedly brought him one on a plate. "Come on, you're going to love it."

He certainly loved meeting you more and more, ever since you met he made sure to keep in touch- he even bought one of those cell phones. He didn't know what it was about you.

He learned that you always tell him the truth, and you certainly did with this food as well when he took a bite. It was different than anything he knew back from Asgard. Good type of different, if he was honest with himself then so were you.

He smiled at the proud grin you held for him when he voiced his approval.

You started to tell him about your day after that.

"Oh, also I just saw a picture of a baby bat, it was so cute." You shook your head fondly.

"I'm sorry, please continue what you were saying." He said after the silence that took over the room.

"Oh no, that was it." You laughed nervously at him, looking down at your drink.

"Why did you tell me that then?"

"Just because? Sometimes you can just talk about nothing at all with someone if you enjoy talking to them."

"So," he put a hand on the back of the sofa right next to you, turning his gaze onto you. "You're just talking to me, and telling me stuff with no meaning behind it?"

"Yeah, is that bad?" you couldn't look at him and he just looked at the floor in thought. Humans were certainly peculiar.

"No, it is not bad." You didn't question hid odd questions, but took comfort in his answer. The conversation returned to normal, and with time you started seeing him try to do the same. It was cute.

•

"We have enough power now, Sir. But we can get more." The head scientist and the other agents had escaped from the base with most of the important weapons.

"What are you suggesting?" the man sat on a chair, a delicate long staff rested on a pedestal in front of him.

"We can keep the asset to ourselves." The man on the chair raised an eyebrow at him. "Commander Iago please, let me explain!"

"Doctor Zazu, we cannot betray the one who provided us with such powerful weapons! We will be doomed."

"I saw the Soldat today. I remember working on him when I first joined here. He was marvelous, so obedient," the doctor drifted off for a bit. "But now, we can get a new Soldat, we can keep the asset for ourselves and make an ever better Soldat!"

"But what will we do with our provider? It will be breaking our agreement." Commander Iago raked his hand through his red hair.

"All these weapons are stolen! If we have the asset- we will be unstoppable!"

The commander thought about the prospect of having another winter soldier.

"Gwen," he called to a girl who quickly walked into the room, rushing. "Wake up the sleeper agent."

•

You curled the white sheets tighter around you when Loki got out of the bed. Prompting up on your elbow, you asked him

"Do you have to go? We can just sleep in for a few hours, or maybe like half the day?" you trying to tame your messy hair a bit.

"The sword must be put back in its place. I will be back shortly."

"Okay, if you say so." You put your head back on the pillow and Loki gently kissed your forehead, earning a content hum from you, and left the room.

He reentered your room that night, not surprised to find you asleep but rather glad, it gave him time. His mind travelled to earlier in the day, and his first day here.

You did tell him about your powers, after he experienced it first-hand. But it didn't make sense to him, he felt the power oozing from you yet none seem to have figured out the source he even doubted they could sense the power in you. He certainly would've glossed over it if he hadn't still remembered past you.

You laid there sleeping in peace when his mind was racing, and he couldn't hold himself back. He reached out for your powers, hoping that they will separate from you and not wake you up. Leaning back on the wall, he closed his eyes and sent himself into your head, connecting to your powers.

It was familiar, he sensed it overwhelming him the longer he tried to dive in. just when he thought he had it, just when the familiarity grew and he knew he was close to the very core of this power inside of you- it was as if he hit a blockade and was pushed out by an aggressive force. The next second you woke up with a gasp, your blurry vision faded out when you came back to reality and noticed Loki.

"Loki?" your heavy breaths filled the room until he answered.

"I'm here, are you okay?" he went towards the bed.

"Yes, just had a nightmare." You shook your head at the memories of the dark place.

"Why don't you go back to sleep, I'll join you in a bit." You were out soon enough, tiredness taking over you.

He hesitantly walked over to you, hand raised to rest on your forehead, but he pulled back with a hiss when he was being held back from touching you.

Reluctantly he walked over the other side of the bed, laying there on his back and staying away from you. Before he could fall asleep, you pulled him to you, wrapping your arms around him you laid your head on his chest.

•

"Hey, little guy." Sam snickered beside you. You hardly saw Steve these days, but you knew Sam just came back from an early run with him.

"I'm older than you!" Scott grunted when you found him in the kitchen.

"She called you tiny, tic-tac, not young."

"As far as I remember, my little ass beat your ass when we met." Your shocked look made Sam grumble and Scott laugh.

"You never told me that! Oh Scott tell me everything!" sitting next to him, he began to tell you the story.

"So, I have manners so I introduced myself obviously-" you nodded along.

"Okay, listen- you can tell her but no telling Cap, I'll never hear the end of it." Sam pointed a spoon at the man who only shrugged and threw you a side smile.

"So, I haven't seen you in a while. How is Cassie doing?"

"She is great, won at a spelling bee! She was so happy." His smile was contagious, whenever he talked about his daughter he wouldn't stop gushing, which was adorable. "Have you ever thought about it?"

"About what?"

"Settling down, having some normal between this hero stuff." He leaned on one hand, and you faltered a bit.

"No, I don't think that's my thing." Sam sat with his coffee in front of you.

The next minute Loki came into the kitchen too. You didn't have to look behind you, gauging by Scott's reaction the Asgardian god stood there in the kitchen.

He didn't bother making conversation with the mortal but rather taking a sit next to you, and kissing your temple. You averted your eyes from Scott who looked over at Sam now. Sam shook his head.

Clearing your throat, you tried to break the silence.

"Scott, did you meet Loki?" you didn't wait for an answer. "Thor and he are here helping us with Hydra."

"No, I can't say that I did."

"Where were you this morning? You never wake up that early." Loki snaked a hand around you. You knew he did it because of Scott and you were a little uneasy about it.

"Oh I just needed to run over some stuff with Mike." You shrugged.

"Who is this Mike?" you didn't like the tone in his voice.

"Just a guy from S.H.I.E.L.D. so calm it."

You tried to focus your conversation on Scott again, ignoring the jealous god sitting beside you.

After your passionate sleepless nights, in the next few days Loki saw you more and more getting up early for work. He almost asked you to stay one time, when you uncurled from his awoken form.

"What if I came with you?"

"You'll spook him up and he won't be able to work properly." You leaned over him and gave him a slight peck. "Besides, you're going to Asgard with Thor later today, right?"

"Yeah, I'll be gone for a couple of days." He was getting up when you sat on his lap.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

•

Sleepless, Steve groaned and grabbed his jacket and went up to the roof of the tower. He had barely slept between his fight with you and watching his best friend almost get killed by an alien weapon which then was held and brought back by none other than Loki.

Getting up, he looked around at the city when he went to his usual sitting space. This night it wasn't empty, he was surprised to see you sitting there, in his sweatshirt.

He went and sat down next to you. It was quiet for a while.

"Can't sleep?"

You shook your head in response.

"I'm sorry, Steve." You turned your head to look at him, your cheeks flushed from the cold. "What I said was way out of place and I just couldn't think clearly through all of my fury." You could feel your eyes beginning to sting. You couldn't fight with Steve.

"It's okay, I shouldn't have screamed at you. I can't fully blame you I am just-" he took your cold hands in his. "I feel protective over you, you're family to me and you know that."

"Loki was my family for a long time too, once." You muttered to him.

"Are you sure he won't hurt you? Can you really just trust him like that?" he asked and you sighed, not seeing the point in avoiding it.

"No." with another breath you managed to tell him more. "Plus it's just for now, we agreed on it."

Steve stayed silent, but you could feel him studying you.

"But Y/N is that what you actually want?"

The question had you holding your breath, catching you off guard. It was an odd question to ask but if you were letting yourself see the truth- you know the answer.

You stayed quiet and stayed with Steve there until you fell asleep on his shoulder.

•

The golden cages of the palace gates opened up to him, the palace workers carefully bowed to him as he hastily passed by them. The sooner he could this over it, the sooner he could go back to you. Hopefully you won't be taken away from him again when he is back.

Entering the throne room, he saw his father on the grand sit and Thor leaned in on a pillar.

"Ah, my son, you finally came." He walked towards his brother and stood in front of Odin.

"What is this meeting about?"

"Loki-" Thor began before his father halted him.

"I heard you rejected the advances of lady Iyllir, why would you do that?"

"Well, father-"

"Our relationship with her family is important. We need to clean up the messy reputation you gave yourself, giving you a fitting wife will help immensely. Loki, for once in your life do the right thing and obey!"

"Loki has-"

"No Thor, don't make excuses for him. The lady was brought here for you, to have a wedding. My child, don't be foolish. She is a lovely girl, everybody will be happy when the wedding will occur! She even agreed to be your wife despite everything!" the Allfather chuckled but Loki knew better than that.

"Shouldn't we be talking about the problem with Hydra? We did manage to get some weapons but some are still missing." Thor cleared his throat and glanced at Loki, who stayed quiet.

"Very well my child, what do you suggest we do?"

"My friends are doing a great job at attacking Hydra, maybe we could send an Asgardian scientist to help them." Thor glanced at Loki for help, he just nodded at him.

"I want you boys home soon. I want to know how these midgardians got their hands on our weapons, you should not take this lightly, and tell these friends of yours not to as well."

"Of course, father. So in two days time we will go back to Midgard and resume our help there."

"No, Thor you will go but Loki shall stay here." Odin dismissed the older brother.

"Father, they need me there, my wand is still missing there!" Loki argued back.

"They don't need you anymore; you've helped them with explaining the weapons. Now you can stay home and we can talk about the wedding. What is the problem? That was the plan all along."

The problem was that Loki knew that, and it was true. He couldn't argue against it.

•

The bed was cold now, the last couple of days took away the place Loki held in your bed and replaced it with coldness. You missed him already.

The sun was setting, painting the skies of your window with beautiful pastel colours.

"Come in!" you yelled to the person at the door. You smiled when you saw Loki walking into your room. "Loki!"

Rushing to him, you wrapped him in a hug, which he was reclined to return. You pulled back from him.

"Loki?" his face held no expressions, and it sent you back.

"So, you're not going to say anything?" sobbing, you had to sit on the couch. Why was he still here? This is what you get for falling for a trickster; he must have lied to you a million little times. "Did this mean nothing to you? Did I mean nothing to you?"

Accusing him, your blurry eyes returned to his solid face that held no emotion- just indifference.

"What did you expect falling for an immortal monster?" he growled back, mocking you now. The tears kept pouring as he stood there staring.

"I came here to help with the weapons which were stolen, my help isn't really needed here anymore so I am going back to Asgard."

Oh. You took a couple of steps back.

"What did you expect falling for the god of lies? Did you really think I would stay for you? I won't be coming back to midgard anymore." You barely saw him now but you heard the door shut behind him, and he just left you there with your heart shattered like glass on the floor.

"Loki, are you not going to stay until we found the weapons at least?" you let out a nervous laugh, trying to keep looking at him, which proved to be a difficult task when you knew that he knew exactly what you felt.

"No, Thor can take it away from now on. I do have to go back for my duties as a prince, and for a lady after all." You scoffed.

"Right."

"You can't be upset with me. This was what you wanted. We agreed on this from the start, just a temporary thing, right?" he mocked you now.

"Well what if I wanted more! You were all I wanted!" you yelled at him now, finally releasing all the unsaid things. "Does that make you happy? Hearing me say that, hearing me beg?"

"No it doesn't." he groaned at you.

"You are doing the same thing you did all those years ago." The tears welled up in your eyes. "You know, you never did tell me why, you just left with no explanation."

"What do you want me to say, baby?" it slipped but he couldn't control it, he had to control himself first.

"Don't call me baby! Look at this mess that you're creating of me, do you remember what happened back then? How I cried and you were just there watching! You just watched me suffer." The tears let themselves flow without your permission. "Tell me why!"

"You don't know anything, why would you make such a fuss over nothing?" he hissed at you, moving around the room you almost felt like his prey. You probably were.

"Because I love you! I always have so even if you don't just let me have this closure, tell me why you left me so suddenly?" You hated the crack in your voice, closing your eyes for a moment you pinched your nose. "Tell me!"

"This is why!" his yell scared you, opening your eyes you were shocked at what you saw. In front of you stood a creature with blue skin, markings and red eyes- and that was Loki. You stood there staring at him with tears glistening on your cheeks.

"What- what's this?" you felt shivers down your spine, the temperature in the room was much colder now. He gave you a scary smile.

"I'm a frost giant, in Asgard you know the parents tell their kids about monsters like me at night." Those eyes were menacing as he walked over to you. You took steps back but he didn't stop.

"Loki, stop." You put a hand forward.

"Is this not what you wanted?"

"Not like this." You shook your head, trying to get rid of the part of your brain that insists that he is scary. "Whatever you are, whatever happened to you- none of that is enough excuse for what you did to me."

"You mortals always confuse excuse with explanation."

"Yeah right because I'm just a dumb human, I apologize, my prince." In a blink of an eye he turned back to how you knew him. Your mind hasn't processed what happened yet, your heart was already taking over you at that point.

"You asked me why, I gave you a reason." And you wanted to ask more, you wanted to understand this. You wanted him to-

"Stay." You whispered, tired at this point.

"I'm going back to my home at Asgard." He turned back and was walking towards the door.

"If you walk out that door, don't bother coming back."

The door slammed shut and all over again you broke down, with your heart shattering on the floor. That's the price you pay for trying to have back something that you never had in the first place. Nothing has changed.

•

Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @the-departed-potato @rogerrhqpsody @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @percabethismyotp14

[haienatrash]

When They’re Out of The Limelight

Note: Hi everyone, I hope you guys are doing fine. I decided to delete the first version of this fanfic and write another one with a different ending, coz I received some feedbacks (not just from tumblr but also on twitter) saying that the ending was depressing and that I was too cruel to the characters (which was true, i admit that and i’m sorry. Lol.) I love my moots and I don’t want them to be sad. So here you go, this version contains two parts, hope you guys enjoy the story! - haienatrash

Part I - The After Party

June 5, 2020 - Baeksang Arts Awards 2020

"Everyone's looking for you." Someone with a sexy baritone voice said which made her twirl in surprise. It was Ju Ji Hoon. He was still in his simple yet gorgeous tuxedo with the brooch pin that she had chosen for him to use that night.

Hye Soo smirked at him, a bottle of beer on her left hand. It was that familiar tipsy grin that Geum Ja often use to Hee Jae when they would drink a bottle or more of Soju in Hyena. She sipped a beer before turning her back on him again.

Ji Hoon on the other hand, smiled while admiring her voluptuous figure from the back, taking note of the small details just like the back slit of the dress, how it exposed a little of her skin and the Bulgari Diamond Serpenti flawlessly resting on her back down to the middle of her spine. He was truly amazed at how the black Ralph Lauren dress fitted her body perfectly, flaunting those curves that she maintained through the years.

But his brows creased when he realized she wasn't wearing the white coat she had earlier. She must have left it on the venue downstairs, he unbuttoned his tuxedo jacket and pulled it off from his torso as he slowly walked towards Hye Soo, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Upon reaching her, he carefully placed the tuxedo jacket on her shoulder to keep her warm before leaning on the railing that reaches up to their abdomen. His gesture made her look up at him, but he was ignoring her stare pretending to look at the 360-degree view of Seoul. They were on the rooftop of the hotel where the Baeksang Arts Award 2020 after party was held.

"Hoon-ssi it's fine, you don't---"

"You're wearing a dress." He cut her off "Exposing your shoulder and your back..." He paused staring back at her before he continued what he was saying "Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against you wearing that sexy dress, but I don't want you to get cold, alright Sunbaenim?" He rolled his eyes the way Hee Jae did, that made Hye Soo chuckle, amused by how Ji Hoon still has a bit of his character with him.

"Hee Jae is that you?" She asked him still giggling a bit "Sorry, but Geum Ja's not here tonight."

"Who says I want Geum Ja? I want Hye Soo." He said not looking away from her.

There was no response from her, now the only thing they could hear was the sound of the gusting wind. Their gazes were locked, she could feel the blood rushing to her face turning her cheeks into crimson red. He never fails to make her feel this way as if it was the first time that someone said those words to her.

"But you can't." She said bitterly, looking away from him, setting the bottle of beer on the railing cap.

Ji Hoon looked down, "You don't trust me, do you?"

"Trust isn't the issue in here. It's the age, the opinion of everyone around us and the career... Your career."

"I'm willing to give it all up---"

"Well I don't, I wouldn't let you give up everything you worked for just to be with me." She cut him off staring back at him. "You're young, you're smart and you're talented, there's so much ahead of you. Don't waste it with someone like me and I am sure you'll find someone much better, someone who can give you a family, a son, or maybe a daughter." She explained but it seems like he wasn't listening to any of it.

"Then I'll take whatever you can give. I love you, and I know you feel the same... Please?" He grabbed both her hands and kissed her knuckles. His eyes started getting wet.

"Ji Hoon, stop." She said pulling her hands away from him.

"This is so unfair. I just wanted to be with you." She saw how tears pooled down his cheeks as he said those words. She felt her heart broke into million pieces, watching him weep because of her.

She couldn't help herself, but extend her hand to his face, cupping his cheek wiping his tears using her thumb. Then she pulled him closer for the last time and caught his lips with hers, kissing him slowly and softly making it linger, trying to ease his pain.

Hye Soo pulled out of the kiss before saying "Let's not see each other again."

Hye Soo walked away from Ji Hoon and did not dare to look back anymore, because she would just do the foolish thing and gave into her emotion again. It's better to end it right now than to fuck everything up later on.

Part II - The Resolve

June 24, 2020 - Hyena BD Commentary Filming Day

Ji Hoon tapped the shoulder of his driver reminding him to take the day off and park the car on the fifth level before he came out of the black Mercedes Benz. He was wearing a plain navy-blue colored t-shirt with a large print on the back and a pair of jeans his hair was neatly brushed up the way Hee Jae would like it, with a black face mask and sunglasses on, which helped him disguise himself and not be noticed by the public. He entered the building and walked straight to the elevator, he pressed the thirteenth button and quietly stood there waiting as it lifted him to his floor.

He still felt a bit dizzy and nauseous because of his hangover from last night, he had been like this for a couple of weeks now and it was still because of what happened at the hotel rooftop last June fifth. That was the last time he saw her, and it didn't go well. His heart ached as he recalled how she walked away from him saying that they shouldn't see each other anymore.

He tried reaching out to her since that night, calling her everyday or whenever he was drunk trying to fix everything between them, but she would just shrug him off and ignore his phone calls. He even drove to her house a week ago only to be dragged out by her security. Ji Hoon clutched tightly on his phone, suppressing the tears which was trying to pool out of his eyes, he shouldn’t be like this.

Be professional Ji Hoon. Be professional.

Ji Hoon knew what he did over the past few weeks was pathetic. But he couldn't just let her go, she meant the world to him and he was looking forward to spending the rest of his life with her. He wouldn't get tired of fighting for her. That was his main reason why he wanted to attend the commentary.

Hye Soo Sunbae would be there. He thought.

Ji Hoon kept on saying that to himself, that was the only motivation he had for almost three weeks, that the commentary would be a good chance to speak with her.

The elevator opened, he looked at the indicator saying they were already on the thirteenth floor, he walked towards Studio five and gently pushed the glass door of the studio; he was welcomed by some of the staffs and crews that he had worked with during the filming of Hyena. He bowed to them as a sign of respect mostly to those who he knew was older than him, then he saw Jang Tae Yoo the director of Hyena, standing next to a tall woman with short hair who's back was facing him.

Obviously, it was her. His sunbae. Kim Hye Soo. The director looked at his direction with a smile on his face. Ji Hoon could read his mouth saying, "Ju Ji Hoon is here." to her. She turned to him, she was wearing a simple white blouse paired with a tattered pair of jeans and a white coat draping over her shoulder, it was simple yet stunning. Well, Hye Soo has always been stunning even in those simple clothes, the corner of her lips curved into a little smile as if nothing happened between them.

Damn, she really is a good actress... He said at the back of his mind. Ji Hoon waved his hand to them, he walked towards them bowing to his leading lady and the director. He felt awkward, not knowing how he should act around her.

"We're glad that you're here already. Maybe we could start in an hour?" Asked Jang Tae Yoo looking up to Ji Hoon. Both leads nodded to him. "Good, we'll go get the lights fixed. Have some snacks first." He said patting Ji Hoon's arm before he left them alone.

Silence surrounded them. He sighed before removing his mask, folding it and sliding it into the back-pocket of his jeans.

I miss you.

I need you.

I love you.

There was a lot of thing that he wanted to ask, and he wanted to say to her but "Hey..." Was all that came out of his mouth.

"Hi." She responded, still with that minimal smile on her lips. She handed him a cookie in pink packaging, which he took instantly like a kid who was given a candy.

She stared at him intently, examining his face. His lips were pale and dry. "Take your sunglasses off, it's a bit disrespectful to greet the director with those on." She said using the director as an excuse to see his face better.

Ji Hoon, without any second thought, took off his sunglasses revealing the dark circles under his unique mismatched eyes, he looked exhausted as if he hadn't slept for weeks. Hye Soo sighed rolling her eyes, she knew it.

"Meet me in the restroom at the end of the hallway going to Studio six and don't forget to put back those sunglasses on." She said before making her way out of Studio five.

• • •

He opened the door of the all-gender restroom then he saw her leaning with her hips on the tiled sink waiting for him. He locked the door before walking towards her, he wasn't sure what she wanted from him but here he was, obviously he couldn't resist her. She stood up properly when she saw him walking towards her, motioning him to switch places with her. Now he was the one who’s leaning on the sink.

"What do you want?" he asked as serious as he could.

"Close your eyes." She stated, ignoring his question. Hye Soo thought he wouldn't do as she said but he did, but as the usual he couldn't keep his mouth shut. He kept on blabbering about how she said the other week that they shouldn't see each other anymore but here they were, in the public restroom, alone. That he called her every day, but she didn't answer any of them and how her security dragged him out of her village. He did all that as she got the wet wipes from her bag, she leaned closer to him and gently cleaned his face, removing the unwanted dirt from his flawless face.

She could spend her whole day just staring at him, memorizing every inch of his face taking note of the small details like the mole on his left cheek that you could barely see if you aren't this close to him and the pointed nose that she compared with the Himalayas, which he found funny.

Hye Soo pulled the primer and the concealer from her make-up pouch. Lucky enough, she still has the concealer that he left on her bathroom the last time he spent the night there which matched his skin tone. She applied a bit primer on his skin and some concealer underneath his eyes. She took her time as she did his make-up, they still have an hour and she wanted this to last, she wouldn't tell anyone, but she missed this dork, she missed him.

"Will you please shut your mouth for a moment Hoon-ssi?" She asked, applying a thin layer of powder on his skin.

"My eyes are closed already, and now you also want me to close my mouth. I don't even understand why you're doing this. You aren't even answering any of my question?!"

"Keep your tone down, will you?" She asked before putting the final touch, a lipstick. From his cheek, her eyes travelled down to his thin lips, it was dry, but she still found them kissable. She gulped.

Don't do it. Don't. Her conscience kept on telling her, but she did it anyway, she kissed him. What she did left him silent, her lips moving against his. It took him a minute or two before he returned her kisses. His hand on her hips pulling her closer to him. The kiss was soft and slow.

“Does that answer all your questions?” She whispered against his mouth before pulling away to catch a breath. "I did that to push you away. Because I wanted to protect you." She placed a hand on his chest. "Let's talk about this later, okay? For now, let's get you ready for the commentary."

He only nodded letting her finish his make-up. After him she fixed herself next, wiping down the smudged lipstick on the corner of her mouth before putting another layer of the same lipstick she used for Ji Hoon's lips.

• • •

After the commentary they drove straight to the Director's house to celebrate the success of Hyena. The whole Team H was there, together with the supporting characters of Hyena, Gyeong Hwa even prepared a cake with the candles saying 'Hyena'. It was fun to be with them again and have a nice dinner while catching up. The celebration ended around ten in the evening, and everyone had gone on their separate ways, but it was different for Ji Hoon and Hye Soo, they still needed to talk.

Ji Hoon parked his car a few blocks away from her house the way he did before. She looked at him and she knew he felt anxious about how their conversation would end up, she could see it on his movements that's why she held his right hand and intertwined it with hers.

"Hey, we'll see each other again, okay?"

"Are you sure---"

"I'm not." She looked straight into his eyes "I'm not sure about what I'm doing and what will be the consequences, but there's one thing that I'm sure of..." She paused, gripping on his hand tighter before saying "And that’s you. I'm sure about you, I'm sure that I want to be with you." She smiled reassuring him that she wouldn't let him go, not anymore.

- END -

Bonus Content!!

On December twenty-fifth Kim Hye Soo posted photo on Instagram with a silhouette of a man, with a very intriguing caption. Some fans guessed it was Ju Ji Hoon. Then the next day both their agencies confirmed that they were dating.

Note: This photo collage is edited, and none of these are true. Thank you for reading!! 

[black-streak]

Saturday night's alright for fighting (but Sundays are meant for rest) - Curious New Hobbies

Part 11!

My god this took a while to write! Special thanks to @st0rmy-w1th1n and @mysnis (hope this is your correct Tumblr) for bouncing ideas with me and @kceedraws for giving permission to use her breakdancing au as inspiration for this!

Tagsss: @persephonebutkore @emjrabbitwolf @mystery-5-5 @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @fandomkitty8 @dast218 @silvergold-swirl @shizukiryuu . @my-name-is-michell @kurogaya913 @elspethshadow @thecatnipmademedoit @shamefullove @ladylucina28 @crazylittlemunchkin @rayray384 @cassiejaydee @yuulxd @ladysblackcat @naclychilli @caffeinetheory

~---~

They had meant to go the arcade for their date tonight. In fact, they'd even walked in and started scoping out games to play, but alas it wasn't to be.

Within moments of arriving, who else but Damian would single Mari out and immediately tell them to leave.

And of course she protested. In response, Damian only pointed at Jon over at the pacman machine (how dare he, that's the game Marinette was searching for!) and mentioned his lack of ability to keep secrets and suddenly she turned and dragged Tim right back out the door.

Walking down the sidewalk, he side eyed her, considering the best way to start his interrogation.

"So. You trying to keep me secret then?"

"No! Of course not. Just might've forgotten to mention something like… over a month ago."

"And it involves not letting Jon know we were there?"

"Only because he's a nark who would've ruined the fun. And heaven knows Damian and I wouldn't be satisfied with a void bet."

"You made a bet about our relationship with Damian?"

"About your family," she partially corrected.

"Do I even want to know."

"Was supposed to tell you a bit ago so you wouldn't ruin the stakes, so probably not, but im telling you anyways."

Sighing with false exasperation, he gestured for her to continue.

"We have an ongoing bet over how long it'll take everyone to figure out that you and I are together and not Dami and me."

With that, she relayed all the details of their bet and his part in it, manic grin spread across her face as her gait gained a small skip to it. Tim couldn't help but shake his head at her antics, amused despite an itch in the back of his mind saying this wouldn't end well.

"Alright, I'll play along. Honestly, I think you'll both lose. Your predictions are too specific. Too many potential outlying factors."

"True, but we did give set time frames. So at least one part of the bet will absolutely be clear on who won. Plus, I find victory in the fact that Damian didn't think of that possibility. That we'd both be wrong."

"On another note, we need to find a plan b. Anything in mind?" He asked, reaching out and snagging her hand to draw her closer. 

Shrugging, she looked about them, seeing if anything caught the eye. Suddenly Tim stopped, accidentally yanking her back when she kept walking. She let out a sound of protest only to see his eyes locked on the building across the way with a considering look. 

The building was gray brick with no windows, however a neon purple sign to the right of the black wood door declared it "The Underground", a well known club amongst Gotham dancers and while neither were necessarily that, word had gotten around enough for both to have heard of the place before from word of mouth.

"How do you feel about checking it out?" Tim asked, a curious look about his eyes, studying her.

"I'm not opposed to the idea. Little surprised you're interested though," she commented, letting him lead the way inside.

A quick ID check and they were in, the room dark with neon tube lights flashing across different surfaces and strategic spotlights placed to bring attention to the various raised platforms. It was strange actually. The wall directly to the left of the hall they entered from held the bar on a raised level only to slide into a ground level dance floor which was normal enough, however in the opposite corner was a raised platform where different people would hop up to take advantage of the spacing to show off both freestyle and blatantly choreographed moves. Another few spotlight platforms raised up randomly in the floor, but the main focus was a rather large circular one in the center of the place, raised just enough to make it easy to see from anywhere in the place, but not so high as to block the view across the way. These places were the most lit up, allowing the anonymity to the dancers below while allotting the attention to those who choose to step up. Beyond that, there were many crevices and alcoves holding tables into the walls and a small hallway across the way presumably heading to the bathrooms. An upper balcony held only the DJ.

While Mari took in her surroundings, she felt Tim lead her out into the crowds, before turning back to her with a questioning look. Leaning in she spoke into his ear, a spark gleaning her eyes, "You've been before, haven't you?"

"A few times. It's the perfect place to destress without the nonsense of keeping an image. As long as you stay in the crowd, no one cares who you are," he replied, spinning her around before stepping in so her back pressed to his chest.  His hands ghosted down her sides to grasp her hips, starting to guide her into the beat.

For a while, they stayed like that, separating slightly and coming back together to follow different dances as the music flowed and changed around them. Turns out Tim was a surprisingly good dancer. 

Cheers broke out as a new song turned over, the first beats of Bum Bum Tam Tam coming over the speakers drawing attention towards the main platform as a pair jumped up, starting to get into the beat, working around each other only to burst into perfectly synced choreography at the first breakdown, resulting in more cheers. The two dancers would break away after that into a more freestyle, only to flow back into more rehearsed moves once more.

"Wait is that," she trailed off to a groan pressed to her shoulder.

"Yeah. That's them. Didn't know they came here."

As the song came to an end and the two on the platform jumped down, they could only stare as none other than Dick and Kori unknowingly made their way towards them. Tim pulled back from Mari subconsciously, not quite comfortable being so fully on display in front of people who actually knew them. Which made exactly zero sense when considering how much they cuddled in the manor. 

Finally the two spotted them, their grins widening and a new energy emerging as they rushed over. 

"Timothy! Starshine! You guys are here!" Came Kori's exuberant greeting, grabbing them both up in a hug.

"Hey, Mar, Damian not like dancing enough? Had to drag Timmy out?" Dick teased.

"Dami's at the arcade with Jon. And actually, coming here was Tim's idea," she answered amicably, conforming to the rules of the bet and not correcting Dick's obvious assumptions. "That was amazing by the way. You two looked great up there!"

Tim smirked down at her, seeing through her antics, especially now that she'd let him in on the rules of her game. Doesn't mean he couldn't play into it himself, he thought as he wrapped an arm around her waist and placed his chin atop her head.

"She's a great dance partner," Tim mentioned after both Kori and Dick had thanked and waved off Mari's compliments. "Considering learning something more structured with her, myself. Maybe give you two a run for your money."

"You definitely should! I can help with figuring out a style for you two if you'd like!" Kori offered immediately as Marinette turned to look at him in excitement.

"She has to agree first. Who knows, maybe this was a fluke and Mari will never dance with me again," he sighed in defeat.

Marinette turned, practically bouncing in anticipation, "Are you kidding? I'd love to! I want to come here again too."

"Even if you don't take my help with the dancing, I can record you two so you can look back and see for any needed improvements? That's what Richard and I do," Kori further offered up, Dick jumping back in right after.

"Oh yeah, it helps immensely. Especially if you were wanting to perform it on the platforms here."

Tim and Mari met eyes, before coming to an agreement, "Yeah, we'd appreciate that actually."

"Great! We'll set up some time here soon. In the meantime, I could definitely use a drink," Dick stated, looking back towards where he'd originally been headed. Kori grabbed onto Marinette instead, leading her back into the fray of dancers.

"We should invite Stephanie next. She would make a most interesting dance partner," Kori rattled on, suggesting a girls night that Mari agreed to immediately before getting back into the music with her new dance partner of the moment, Tim and Dick rejoining them shortly after. 

The night continued on this way, the four trading off between them, two not aware that it'd become a double date by this point. Eventually parting ways from the two, Tim and Mari made their way back towards his apartment, breathless and happy despite the unexpected interruptions to their night.

"How come we never end up at your place?" He asked suddenly.

"Because my apartment has become workzone number 2. Seriously, the place has essentially become a studio for my work that just so happens to have a kitchen and bedroom. Among other secrets not meant to be divulged… yet."

"Is that pertaining to the mystery of your magic."

"Perhaps."

"Mmm, whenever you're ready, I'll be happy to keep them for you. Though I can't imagine anything bigger than holding two technical gods in your pockets at all times."

"Shhh, don't let them hear you say that!"

He only chuckled, leading her into the complex and up to his penthouse. Silence overtaking them until the door had clicked shut.

"You staying the night, sweetheart?" Tim asked, toeing off his shoes and walking towards his room to get changed.

"Mm, think I might," she replied, following him in and stealing a shirt before wandering into the bathroom to get first dibs on a shower. She still found it lucky that while he might be the shortest of his brothers, she was still small enough to be buried in his clothes. Made it easier for night like these.

Finishing up, she plopped herself on his bad as he went to shower as well. 

Eventually, the door reopened, Tim entering in only pajama bottoms, hair still damp and in his face. She hummed her appreciation, enjoying the view and reaching out to tug him closer.

"Is it weird how comfortable we've become in so little time?" 

"Only if you're uncomfortable with it."

"I'm not."

"Good."

With the affirmation, he picked her up only to lay her out further up the bed. Stretching out at her side, he pressed kisses to her cheek and down her neck, hand trailing against exposed skin, clearly enjoying having her in his home, in his bed, in his shirt.

'Hmm, what were two raging insomniacs to do with the rest of their night?'

… 

Bonus:

Not a week later, after a long discussion with Damian to ensure that Kori was not included in the bet and swearing the alien to secrecy, they asked her to film something for them. A dance they had come with that was just for them. Not anything that could be performed in a club or for anyone to see. Maybe one day they'd post it somewhere or show Dick, but for now, it was theirs alone.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Forty-One

Table of Content or Part Forty

Read here on wattpad.

Words: 3.2k

Warning(s): Explicit language, minor sexual situations, drug abuse, drug over dose

A/N: Had to cut this chapter in half because tumblr was being sketchy w the length of it for some reason. Anyway, second half will be up asap but I'm about to pass tf out. Also, this chapter was gonna have some smut but I put it in with the second half instead because the vibe didn't mesh well with it included in this one. Have a good night, update coming tomorrow/late tonight (Jan. 3). Goodnight!!

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I can't help but laugh a little as Nikki presses kisses up and down my neck, bottle of Jack in one hand, part of my ass in the other as our car takes the both of us through London.

Valentine's Day, 1986, started out as one of the best Valentine's Days we'd spent together.

Nikki's mood wasn't too good or too bad, it was a tolerant neutral, I suppose it's because we hadn't done much talking at all.

He'd woken me up with his tongue between my legs and it stayed that way until I had soaked the sheets and was practically begging him to give me a break because I couldn't take it anymore.

Then we proceeded to screw around, then got ready to leave to meet everyone at the Hammersmith Odeon where they were due to play that night.

"How much longer?" I ask him, pulling away from a tongue filled, lust fueled kiss, referring to the time left before we get where we're going.

"Like, ten minutes, maybe." He tells me.

My hand reaches between us, rubbing over the obvious bulge in his pants, before he reads my mind.

After our quicky, I'm pulling my panties back on while he's pulling his gear from his boot.

I just let out a breath.

"Nikki--"

"--I'm fucked on blow right now, Viv. I gotta get myself leveled out." He tells me.

I just nod a little, not bothering to argue.

Once we arrive, Fred's meeting us in the back to escort us inside as fans are already crowding around the front entrance.

Nikki's grabbing at my hand once we get out, as he and Fred start talking.

"And there's a surprise for you." Fred tells me as we walk in.

I furrow my brows before he's nodding to our left.

I see the massive, teased, blonde hair and flashy clothing and I'm leaving Nikki's side before I can help myself.

Mike's just as happy to see me and I am to see him, the both of us hugging each other tightly before pulling away to examine each other with wide smiles.

He looks incredible.

He's glowing.

He's gained back the weight he lost dramatically after Razzle died, and it's so obvious that he hasn't touched a drink or Drug in months.

He looks at peace.

"You look great." I tell him, looking him up and down.

"I feel great." He replies. "You look..." He starts, examining me similarly.

I look like I've been dragged through hell.

"Like shit." I finish for him and he rolls his eyes.

"Beautiful, Vivian. You've always been beautiful." He argues.

The shining of a silver band around his left ring finger catches my eye, despite multiple rings decorating his hands.

"Now, I've heard about this." I take his hand and look at the wedding band and he gets giddy. "But I have yet to even see her."

He's pulling his wallet out of his pocket and pulling a picture out, showing me a photo of a woman with dark hair, arched brows, who's no-bullshit demeanor is practically jumping out of the picture.

Jude Wilder had been working at CBS when she'd met Michael while working on Hanoi Rocks' project called "Two Steps From The Move."

She was nine years older than him, but that didn't surprise me. Michael's always been nine years ahead of everyone else in maturity, and they were perfect for each other.

They got married in 1985, and were inseparable.

When she died in 2001, after suffering an intracranial hemorrhage, Michael sunk into the excruciatingly low place he sunk to when Razzle died. But in true Mike Monroe fashion, he didn't allow himself to be down very long, threw the drugs out, and was remarried to a gorgeous, sweet, ball of light named Johanna by mid-2003.

"She's gorgeous, Michael." I tell him in admiration, although I know he's never necessarily been into looks as much as he's after a good personality and clear head.

"Thank you. She'll love to hear that." He chuckles, tucking the picture back into his wallet. "Have you seen the other guys here?" He asks me and I raise my brows.

He motions behind me and I see Andy, Sami, and Nasty, talking to Tommy and Nikki.

Nikki beckons for me and I go to them, trying not to be overly motherly upon seeing them, the three of us sharing the same exchange Michael and I did.

Tight hugs, and an invisible thankfulness that they're in a more positive headspace than the last time I saw them.

Well, except one.

Andy's still on heroin. It doesn't take me two seconds to pick up on it and I can tell it's gonna be a priority to keep him and Nikki separated after the show.

I don't need them fueling the fire under each other's spoons.

Sami and Nasty look better than the last time I saw them, which is amazing.

I'm surprised any of the guys want anything to do with us after the thick of their grieving.

"Are you staying for the show?" I ask Andy.

"Absolutely." Andy states, pointing at Nikki. "And I'm showing him around when it's all over."

A protective chord is struck in me, and I'm finding myself having to pull back on the reins before I offend Andy.

Nikki seems to agree, before I shit all over it.

"It's Valentine's Day." I cut in. "I was hoping we could hang out." I look to Nikki.

"You can come with us, babe." He suggests and I try to hide my true emotions about it, but Michael sees through it.

"Oh, c'mon, Nikki. It's Valentines Day." He interjects, picking up on my concern of Andy and Nikki out on the town, binging.

Nikki's pulling a handful of bills out of his pocket before handing it to Michael.

"You take her out, then." He tells him casually, and Michael looks at me, caught off guard, able tell this isn't the first time Nikki's acted like this towards me and it's as if he's saying, "he's like this now?"

"Guys, c'mon, you gotta get dressed." Doc pulls at Nikki and Tommy.

The show goes smoothly, despite a few hiccups and—as predicted—Andy and Nikki are thick as thieves.

I help Nikki get his white and black polka dotted suit off, before he's pulling on his tshirt and jeans, pulling his boots on.

Before I head for the door when he's dressed, he's grasping at my hand and stopping me.

"What is it?" I ask, raising my brows.

"C'mere." He tugs me to him and I chuckle a little. 

"What is it?" I repeat, grinning, and he leans down and presses his lips to mine, sweetly.

"I really wish you would come with me tonight." He tucks some of my hair behind my ear and I shake my head a little.

"Nah, I'll just hangout with Mike."

"No, I wanna hangout with you." He argues lightly.

"You and Andy are gonna be doing things I'm not into." I point out.

"Like what?" He asks.

"You know what." I reply.

"Alright, how about you and Mike come with us so you aren't by yourself?"

"How about you just don't touch heroin?" I suggest and his smile falters, his jaw rolling. I don't even let him say anything else.

I kiss him one last time before trying to sweep whatever argument is brewing, under the rug.

"I'll see you when you get back tonight, Nikki, okay?" I ask and he sighs out.

"Whatever, Viv." He mumbles as I step out.

I find Mike and Tommy telling Nasty and Sami "goodbye", and I step to them, glancing around for Vince, who isn't anywhere to be seen.

It's obvious he's keeping his distance.

"Leaving already?" I ask the two dark haired boys.

"Got to get back home for a bit. We'll see you around, eventually." Nasty tells me, grinning as he squeezes my hand assuringly.

"I'll be meeting Mike back in the states in about a month." Sami adds. "We'll he sure to stop by."

"Okay." I nod, smiling at the both of them. "Be careful, I'll see you later." I them.

"See you, man." Mike tells the two of them, hugging the both of them.

"Big plans tonight, Viv?" Tommy nudges me and I point my thumb in Mike's direction. "What about Nikki?"

"He's married to Andy's dealer tonight." I reply and Mike raises his brows, not saying a word, and Tommy seems like he doesn't quite know how to respond.

"We're outta here!" Andy exclaims, he and Nikki stepping to the exit with Fred escorting them out to their car.

"He's really not spending tonight with you?" Tommy asks me, disappointed, and I raise my brows.

"Are you surprised?"

"..." He says everything with a single look and I nod.

"Exactly." I scoff, going to the dressing room to grab my purse.

Once I get back, Fred is waiting for Mike and I.

"Press talks." Fred warns us right before we step outside.

The paps aren't horrid here like in America, but there's enough here to spin a narrative if they choose.

"So does bullshit." I reply as he opens the car door and I slide in with Mike following me.

"Be careful, guys. I'll see you later, Viv." Fred tells me and I nod before he shuts the door.

Michael looks at me with a smile.

"What now?" He asks me and I shake my head a little.

"Food." I tell him. "And a lot of it."

Although I would have loved to spend the day of love with my husband, spending it with Michael Monroe while stuffing my face with London's very best take-out, was nice.

But there was someone who upstaged Nikki, aside from Mike.

I step into the hotel after dinner with Michael and his wife, carrying my heels in my hands because my feet are killing me, ready to go to sleep.

"Mrs. Sixx, there was a delivery made to your room by your management earlier." The woman at the front desk tells me as I walk by to the elevator.

"Alright, thank you." I reply.

When I get to my room, I unlock the door and I'm met with a large bouquet of classic red roses.

I furrow my brows, knowing they can't be from Nikki, but already know who they can be from when I see two little plastic water guns tucked into the flowers, a bottle of Pepsi and a bag of gummy worms beside them.

I pick up the card and nearly start crying.

"We miss you! Happy V-Day, V!

Love, more than Jack and Marlboro (or Pepsi and gummy worms), Tansy, Steven, Axl, Izzy, Slash, and Duff."

It's etched in Doc's handwriting, and I chuckle at the thought of Doc on the phone with Tansy while she dictates what he writes on a card for flowers she probably begged him to get me before the show ended tonight.

I keep myself from crying, a strong sense of homesickness washing over me.

I pick up the phone, trying to calculate the time difference.

It's 2:00am here, which means it's only 6:00pm in L.A.

I'm dialing their apartment—damning the overseas charge that I know will be billed to us—knowing they're probably getting ready to go out or head to a club for a gig.

"Yo." I hear Steven's voice on the other line.

"Hey, Steven, it's Viv."

"Viv?" He asks excitedly. "Aye, Viv's on the phone!" I hear him say, hearing indistinguishable sentences in the back ground.

"Yeah, I just called to let you guys know I just got back to my room and saw the flowers." I explain, fumbling with the phone chord, sitting down on the bed.

"Do you like 'em?" He asks me and I nod to myself.

"Yes, they're beautiful." I reply.

"Well, Tansy mentioned getting you something for Valentine's Day and she and Duff called the guys' manager and told him some stuff you'd like." He informs me.

"I-Is Duff there?" I ask.

"Uhh, yeah, gimme a second." He tells me. "Duff! Man, it's Viv!" He calls into the apartment. "He's comin', baby." He assures me. "Alright, here he is."

"Bye, I love you." I tell him.

"I love you, too." He replies as I hear the phone being handed off.

"Hello?" Duff answers and I rub my lips together.

"Hey, I know you're probably busy so I wasn't gonna keep you long, I just wanted to say 'thank you' for the flowers and the junkfood I really shouldn't be eating but I'm going to eat anyway." I state and he chuckles.

"I'm just waiting on the guys, and I thought about Coke and potatoe chips but I knew that would be kinda mean so I played it safe." He informs me.

"You don't have a mean bone in your body, Duff." I point out. "Oh, guess who I ate dinner with tonight?"

"Nikki?" He asks and I scoff.

"That's an entire conversation on it's own." I reply. "Michael Monroe and his lovely wife, Jude, took me out to dinner."

"You can't just say it that casually, Viv." He tells me. "You gotta cry tears of joy or something, holy shit."

"Well, I suggest you learn how to keep your cool because him and Sami Yaffa will be visiting L.A. soon and I will be introducing you and the guys, if you're interested."

"Shut up." He says it in disbelief and I smile.

"Guns N' Roses came up during dinner and I may or may not have bragged about one W.Axl Rose, Steven Adler, Izzy Stradlin, Slash Hudson, and Duff McKagan and piqued his interest."

"Shut up!" He says it louder. "Viv, I know it's not a big deal to you because he's one of your friends but...holy shit, Sixx, you didn't have to do that."

"I did, Duff. You guys deserve it." I argue. "You deserve it."

"I fucking love you." He tells me, genuinely. "And I'm not just saying that because you did something nice, like, I can't say 'thank you' enough or tell you how much I love you for being just as enthusiastic as we are and believing in us as much as you have for the past year."

"You guys are great people, Duff. And God's given the five of you incredible musical gifts. It's against my religion not to help expose those gifts to the rest of the world and I know you guys can do it, as much as you guys know you can."

"Thank you, Viv." He tells me again. "And where's Nikki at?" He asks me and I close my eyes for a second, not wanting to say something that will put a damper on his mood.

"He wasn't feeling well so he came back to the hotel while the three of us went to dinner. But he's feeling better now and he's in the shower so we'll spend some time together when he's out." I lie.

"Okay, good. The guys are about ready to go, now, so I'm gonna let you go." He tells me.

"Alright, have fun." I reply, trying to force back tears. "And tell the guys I said 'hey' and that I miss them." I add.

"I will, Viv. Goodnight. I love you." He states, and a tear topples over my lashline, pretending, just for a moment, I'm hearing those words from Nikki.

A sad, broken smile cracks at my lips.

"I love you, too, Duff." I reply. "Goodnight."

I hang up, stepping to the bathroom to take off my makeup and get a shower.

By the time I get out of the shower, I'm so tired my mind practically shuts down the second my head hits the pillow. 

Typically I wouldn't be able to sleep due to being alone, however, I'm not technically alone. 

A loud, startling bang rattles at my door, and I jerk awake, confused for a moment. I glance at the clock, seeing it's only 3:30am, and I roll my eyes, knowing it's Nikki and he probably left his key somewhere.

Without even looking in the peep-hole, I open the door to see a frantic, panicking Andy.

Before this continues, I need to clarify that I understand it isn't anyone else's fault that Nikki did drugs. He had his struggles and demons all without anyone offering him anything to shoot up, snort, swallow down, or drink. He could have easily said "no" to these things, but for some reason just couldn't.

But back then, I knew people knew he couldn't help himself. So no one who could have been considered an enabler was off limits. And Andy was an enabler.

All it takes is for him to say the words "Nikki's in bad trouble" and my face twists, tears toppling from my eyes, an entire wave of emotions rocking through my body, before I'm throwing both of my fists at him.

"Vivian!" He's screaming repeatedly as I'm yelling out nonsense at him, sobbing, weakly hitting him.

Once I've gotten calmed down in a couple minutes, Andy's grabbing at my shoulders, his cheek bleeding from my ring cutting him.

"Get your head clear." He practically has to pull me together for myself.

I'm running down the street from the hotel as fast as my bare feet can take me, Andy leading me to the run-down apartment he and Nikki were hanging out at. 

I walk into to this rat holding a baseball bat of Nikki, about to hit him.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Andy barks at him as I snatch the bat from his hands.

I'm about to hit him with it instead, but Andy's grabbing at me. "Viv, keep your head clear." He tells me again, pulling the bat from my hands and I glare into the sunken in eyes of the stranger, silently promising he'll get his when I get my blue husband awake.

I'm overwhelmed and feel defeated at the sight of him.

Blue, soaking wet from being wet down in an attempt to be woken up, and the deterioration of his body from his use is even more evident in his current state. 

Andy is screaming at the guy for hitting him with a bat instead of continuing to give him mouth to mouth and pumping his chest like Andy had been doing before he came and got me. 

I start CPR, trying to keep my shit together, but I obviously fail.

My stomach cramps like shards of glass are scraping at me. Except it's not my stomach, it's my uterus. 

"Andy." I cry out, keeping my hands on Nikki's chest, but the Finnish rockstar keeps yelling back and forth with the dealer. "Andy." I repeat, louder, but he still doesn't hear me. "Andy!" I'm pleading in a holler, catching his attention. "I-I can't do this, I'm sick, just call an ambulance!" I beg and Andy heads to the phone hanging on the wall. 

"No!" The living dead-rat argues roughly, fear in his pinned eyes as he practically snatches the phone off the wall, refusing to hand it to Andy.

"My husband is dying if not already dead! He needs help!" I argue, sweat beginning to perspire thinly on my skin, my own pain intensifies, my vision starting to blur slightly as I feel hot liquid rush from between my bare legs, and I'm blacking out along with Nikki. 

[escapeinpapers]

Book Review: THE UNHONEYMOONERS by Christina Lauren

Quarantine is really ruining our plans for the summer. But hey, this book will definitely give you great summer feels for it will take you an atmospheric trip to Hawaii.

Plot: Basically, the story revolves around Olive, whose twin sister is getting married. On the day of the wedding, in the middle of her speech at the reception, everybody started vomiting. Apparently, everyone got food poisoning except Olive and her brother-in-law/nemesis, Ethan. Since the newlyweds was so sick and couldn't go to their honeymoon, Olive and Ethan were asked to take their places and go to Hawaii instead. Their trip became a roller coaster ride. Olive obviously hates Ethan. Ethan obviously doesn't know what the hell was wrong with Olive. They keep on bickering and annoying each other. But as they go along with their free vacation, they got to know more about each other, unravelled feelings brought by unexpected turn of events as well as they discovered secrets they didn't even imagine.

Thoughts: Christina and Lauren are popular adult romance authors. I have heard a lot of good things about them and how their books are really great. At first, I was not really bought into reading this book because I am a not really a fan of stories on fake dating and fake marriage. Most of the time it sounds cliché to me. But there is something on this book, maybe the book cover (which I adore, the vibrant yellow color screams read me lol) that made me pick it up and I read at around 11 pm. It was a mistake reading it late at night because I cant put it down and I kept on giggling. I was immediately engrossed to the story!

What I love:

1. Well first, I love that Olive is a biologist! (I know I'm biased since I'm also a bio student woops) She has PhD in Biology specializing in Virology which is amazing. She is fascinated with vaccines and likes talking science stuff, which I can relate to.

2. I love how well written the book is and it was not difficult to read and comprehend. I like how the beauty of Hawaii was described and how it dragged me to that wonderful scenery.

3. The enemy to lovers relationship was not too heavy in a way that their arguements did not annoy me. It was hilarious. It felt like watching a good romcom movie.The transition of their relationship was so good and romantic (I'm a sucker for romance). It got me begging for more. It was just cute and Ethan is just super hot......

4. I love how the essence of family was incorporated in this story. I love the relationship between Olive and her twin sister, parents, cousins, aunties and uncles. What is a heartbreak when your whole fam got your back right? Her entire family is just awesome trust me.

5. The TEA. Swear, I did not see it coming. The secrets and revelations! People dont always seem what they are. They could be an entirely different person infront of different people. It made me want to punch in the face one of the characters because I was so mad. That's how carried away I was. I'll just leave it that way cos you dont wan't any spoilers. (if I spoiled you already I'm sorry!)

What I don't love:

1. There were some scenes that I wanted more drama and aggressiveness from the characters. That's why I hope there was some punching or slapping lol.

2. Felt like the ending was rushed.

Recommending to:

1. People who like enemy to lovers, fake dating and fake marriage stories.

2. People who like adult romance. (tho this is not really smutty like FSOG)

3. People who want a quick read. (less than 300 pages and a stand alone)

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This is my first book review here in tumblr yay! This was posted originally in my fb acc but some people encouraged me to make a blog so here I am. Just been into reading again recently. I felt a sudden of enthusiasm surging through me. Thus, I wanna express and share my thoughts about the books that I have read. Suprisingly, I have already read almost 20 books for the last 2 months which is really a great improvement from 0-1 book a month. Well, given the time that we have right now, might as well read and discover new stories. I hope you liked my first book review. Sorry if it is not perfect or if it is lacking. I'm trying to get the hang of it and I'm being cautious so that I wont give spoilers as much as possible. I'll be posting more reviews soon. So, I hope you guys would check out "The Unhoneymoners" by Christina Lauren. Definitely a good read. If you have something to recommend me, please don't hesitate to comment or message me. Thank you for reading up till the end. Luv ya! ❤

[wotinspntarnation]

A Night By The Fireplace

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Word Count: 1738 cue the Fetty Wap music

Warnings: language, oral sex

Summary: You tried to deny your love for Sam Winchester, but found out he felt the same for you

A/N: Another entry for @ravenangel33 writing challenge!! This is my first Sam x Reader fic and all I imagine from Sam is his want to make you cum without penetration (hes a sweet boy ya know). Once again thank you to my lovely beta @mrs-meghan-winchester because this was a shit show at first y’all but she turned it into a masterpiece.

MAYBE TUMBLR MOBILE WILL ACTUALLY LET ME FUCKING POST THIS.

S/N: let me know if you want to be added to my forever list or the list for my Dean x Reader series (which I'll be continuing soon)

You had always been drawn to Sam but never ever would you react on it. You saw the way hunting had torn apart the Winchester’s, Ellen's, and Bobby's families. No way in hell would you put yourself through that because of a crush. A crush that you might have had for about 5 years, but nonetheless. And there was no way he was interested in you since you were 10 years younger than him. Women his age were more mature, had more money, and were all around sexier. While their daily outfits included pencil skirts with stiletto heels, you wore fitted jeans and cowboy boots.

Your evenings had generally consisted of hanging out at the roadhouse, bartending when Ellen was socializing. As you began stacking cups you heard the shifting of two stools followed by your name. You recognized that voice, it was Sam's. You sucked in a quick breath to calm yourself. You turned around, leaning over to place your elbows on the bar and to expose your chest. “Hey Sam, Dean. What can I get ya boys?”

Dean smiled, “Hey sweetheart, I'll take some whiskey.” As you turned around, you felt his eyes burning into your bottom. With a loud groan and an “Ow", you were sure that Sam had kicked Dean for eyeing you like a piece of meat. Turning back around and pouring Dean some whiskey on the rocks, you turned to Sam. Pushing strands of your Y/C/H hair behind your ear to let your eyes wander over Sam's shoulders and face.

“How about you Sammy, what can I get ya?” you purred, letting your lip set between your teeth.

What the hell were you doing?! Not even this morning did you have to pull yourself from your thoughts because you didn't want to have a nomad lifestyle. But you couldn't fucking help yourself. The way the looked, the way he smelled, and the way he spoke. You couldn't help but think about how amazing he would taste...

Sam looked over at Dean, your eyes following. He had already downed his whiskey and was now chatting it up with some girl who looked to be barely 21.

You began to giggle watching the interaction, and Sam couldn't help but admire you. Admire the way you looked when you smiled and your adorable laugh. Fuck, and the way you smelled made him so hard. A perfect mix between flowers and whiskey.

Feeling Sam's hand against your arm snapped you back to reality. He chuckled to himself, “I'd love some of you. Something I should've got the first time I met you.”

Your heart began to flutter. No way this was actually happening. Sam Winchester has wanted you for as long as you've wanted him?!

You had no idea what had gotten into you, but you leaned in. Letting your lips ghost over his, you whispered just loud enough for him to hear, “Then take me Sammy.. I'm all yours.”

You heard his breath catch and his gentle touch on your arm became a firm grip. “You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that.” he groaned just before pressing his lips against yours.

He stood up and began towards the door, turning around and making eye contact just before leaving the doorway. Throwing the towel onto the counter you popped your head into the back room, “Hey Elle, I'm gonna take a break for the night!” she turned around and met you with a smile, “Sounds good sweetheart.”

Immediately after emerging from the door, you were pulled to the side and instantly had a warm set of lips against yours, Sam’s tongue begging to have entrance to your mouth. Sam pulled away, your face between his hands “Fuck Y/N you're perfect.” and his lips crashed into yours again, tongue sliding against yours as soon as you granted his request.

“Gonna make you feel so good tonight baby. Make you all mine.”

Your breathing was labored at the thought of Samuel Winchester touching you in all the right places.

“Let's go, I cant wait any longer.”

On the way there you couldn't help but wonder what had gotten into him. He and Dean had to have just gotten into town so he wouldn't have had any alcohol. Unless, was he just using you as a stress reliever? It was like he could read your mind because his hand found yours, squeezing it. “You know, I've had a crush on you for so long but I never thought you'd go for me." your eyes widened as they met his, “What do you mean?! You are easily the most attractive man I've ever seen.” he chuckled “I'm old baby.” your eyes met your feet “Yeah...I like it" you whispered under your breath, assuming he didn't hear you as he had no response.

Locking your front door behind you, you led Sam through the house to the living room. Lighting up the fireplace you brought out blankets and pillows to make a pallet. Within seconds Sam had his hands all over you, making figure eight shapes. He sat on the arm of the couch, pulling you between his legs and latching his lips to your throat. In between each breath he praised you, telling you how beautiful you were and how long he's waited for this. You pulled off his shirt, and he pulled off yours. Both of you doing an equal exchange of removing clothes until there was nothing on your bodies.

He moved to your makeshift bed and laid back, stroking his hard on and beckoning you with a finger, “Come take a seat on my face pretty girl. Let me show you what you've been missing.”

That stupid knot in your stomach grew along with the company of butterflies. The things that this man did to you were so confusing but without a second thought, you were crawling up his body. You had barely gotten your thighs at either side of his head before his hands were pulling your wet core down to his mouth. “Been wanting to taste you for so long baby. Wanna show you how bad I've needed you the past 5 years.”

“S-Sam...fuck yes" you choked out.

Sure you've had other guys go down on you and make you orgasm, but that was with your help. No one had ever given you such a euphoric feeling as Sam was right now. He sucked on your clit, gentle enough to not hurt you but hard enough to make it more sensitive every time. He darted his tongue in and out of your entrance with the occasional lick up and down your throbbing lips. You leaned back, just enough to get a firm hold on his cock and began pumping. For fucks sake, this man was huge. You wished you could turn to look at it but as soon as your hand made contact with his shaft, the grip on your thighs tightened and he let out and delicious groan. “Fuck baby, your hand feels so good, can’t wait to feel your pussy.”

By then you were a moaning mess. Sam keeping his rhythm of sucking, darting his tongue in and out, and licking were bringing you to the absolute edge but he kept stopping for a few moments every single time. “Want my baby to come when I do.” he breathed as he swatted your hand away from his cock, guiding it to his hair. You pulled your hands away, turning so you could lean down his body and take him into your mouth. “Mmmm. What a good girl. Sucking my dick while I eat her pussy.” he smirked as he smacked your ass. “Sam.. your mouth feels so fucking good on my pussy.” you moaned. Taking his shaft into your hands once more you circled his head with your tongue, then pushed it past your lips and began bobbing your head.

“Fuuuuuck baby girl," Sam groaned as he grabbed a fistful of your Y/C/H hair into his hand and pushed your head farther down, forcing his swollen tip to hit the back of your throat with every bob.

With his free hand he wet two fingers with his mouth and began flicking back and forth against your sensitive bundle of nerves. Thrusting his tongue in and out of your cunt.

He let out a guttural moan and you began to feel him twitch, unsure of whether or not you could take any more of him in your mouth, and again it was like Sam read your mind. He thrusted farther down your throat and just as you began to gag, he spilled into you. He tasted just as amazing as you had imagined; a perfect mix between sweet and salty. Feeling him moan your name against your pussy while hearing it sent you jumping off a cliff to chase your orgasm. As the waves began to take over, Sam firmly grabbed your hips and transitioned to focusing on your clit. Kissing and flicking his tongue over it as he helped you ride out your climax.

You tumbled off of him, finally taking note of how dim the fire had gotten and sighing while simultaneously trying to catch your breath. Sam propped himself on his left elbow, dragging his calloused fingers against your back and with a gravelly tone to his voice he said to you, “Don't worry babygirl, we’ll have plenty of nights we can spend right here.”

You sat up, grabbing a blanket to cover yourself. You turned your head and focused your attention on the small embers still glowing, “Hey Sam...?”

“Yeah Y/N?”

“I love you...”

There was silence. Both of you stopped breathing and all you could hear was the crackle of the dying fire. With tears swelling in your eyes from what you feared most, Sam pulled you from the thoughts.

As a large hand touched your cheek, he pulled your head to look at him.

Confusion struck when you saw tears streaming down his face as he began to speak, “I have waited so long for this moment. Waited so long to hear you tell me you loved me and to be able to say it back. Baby, I love you too..”

Your big, burly lumberjack was such a softy and you wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with him.

Forever tags:

@ravenangel33 @mrs-meghan-winchester @shellydemon