#maybe even do something DAMAGING
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Both you and bakugou growing up on a youth reform farm, tolerating one another because of your friends until he gets jealous and calls you a buckle bunny cause you're wearing a buckle of a man ten years your senior who he used to idolize and Bakugou is jealous it isn't his.
And now the two of you hate each other's guts and it carries into your adult lives blah blah horses
#im dead ass just never gonna write again#i have this whole complex au for this by the way like 30k words just rotting in a doc#i should delete the blog because like what am i actually doing here? not writing#and even if I know im allowed to just enjoy fandom without being a product or providing any sort of content it just feels like a waste and#maybe if i delete ill move on to something else but we all know i will not i will never publsih anything and a lot of that is due to my#attitude towards myself which what good is this that i realize what the fuck my damage is and i cannot do anything to change it PATHETIC TBH
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What I'm hearing is that Davrin joined the Grey Wardens because he was lonely.
#Dragon Age#Dragon Age: The Veilguard#DATV#Veilguard#Davrin#something something you leave your clan because you feel like you don't fit in#but your new situation isn't really an improvement and you come to appreciate what you've lost#but you feel like the damage has been done so you can only move forward#you look for camaraderie in a group of warriors risking their lives to fight darkness who end their lives in darkness#now you have a sense of purpose‚ community‚ and can see the endgame clearly#something something your life has to have some grand meaning or what is even the point#and when that gets taken away? what then? how do you face just existing? for no particular reason?#remember when you were a little kid and you thought your adult life was going to be exciting? not boring like your parents'#and then you grow up and you're just a regular adult and it's nothing like the cartoons and shows and books you liked#maybe you're not even a particularly cool adult#you do your regular adult job or whatever and everything feels quite mundane#and you look for some meaning somewhere in there#hmmm
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I'm really sorry for asking, I hope this isn't an intrusive question. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I've noticed you've toned down your burningcheese posts. Are you taking a break? I hope this ask doesn't come around as being demanding or intrusive. I just really miss seeing burningcheese since there's hardly anything on the tags anymore from what I've noticed. If you are taking a break, please don't feel pressured to answer this post. You deserve a break after everything that's happened
Have I? Doesn't really seem like that to me... But I guess I don't know? Feels like I've been posting and reblogging stuff about them like usual. I guess not? I've been posting a lot about the fankids recently, is that it? Those don't count as burningcheese posts? Haha
But yeah uh I'm sorry if I've given that impression. This ship is still infecting my brain all day every day dont worry haha. I guess i just. I haven't been doing well recently. Nothing to do with internet drama or anything I don't care about that. I've been facing a lot of genuine hardship irl. and i guess it's starting to show on here? Maybe? I'm not really sure. In any case i do apologize if it seems like I'm losing interest or anything like that. Promise I'm not. I'm always thinking about them lol they're a plague. They're a curse. Devsisters owes me reparations at this point. Or rent money for the space in my brain they've been squatting in. Tenant's rights don't exist in my mindscape, they're in big trouble
#I'll be honest an actual break may or may not be coming soon depending on how things go irl#i don't really want to talk about it but. things are bad. really bad#but i have a history of mentally/emotionally running away from my problems haha#which usually involves losing myself in writing or drawing. or video games. or whatever idk#something to help me pretend I'm not alive for a while#got a big backlog of burningcheese stories to write so maybe I'll end up doing those just to cope haha#no matter what burningcheese is my ride or die dont you worry about that#i appreciate your concern. i really do. it's over something silly like shipping but it actually means a lot to me in this trying time haha#i put on a happy silly front on here because i come here to have fun and be silly you know? even if i don't really feel like that irl#i don't want to burden strangers with my real life problems haha#but yeah I'm rambling I'm sorry. thank you for reaching out#as for the lack of content in tags yeah that's always sucked#unfortunately burningcheese never got the love and attention shadowvanilla and eternalberry got despite it being equally as deserving#straight ship + devsis kinda fumbled their chapters so it damaged interest (and ppl's view of BS as a character in general)#sometimes i think it's for the best just because it means we avoided the slop treatment#but... waaaaahhhhhh burningcheese peak and canon why doesn't everyone obsess over it like i do waaaaaahhhhhh#oh well. be the change you wish to see in the world. that's why i made this blog and my ao3 in the first place haha#so yeah again don't worry. got plenty of stories and headcanons and everything left to share#i ain't beat. but i sure am getting beat up haha
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something about max being dressed in lighter colors at the beginning of the game vs her almost being dressed in all black / just straight up dark colors near the end just scratches my brain so good
#maybe it means nothing#but i like it#the whole thing how lighter colors can usually symbolize feelings like hope and peace#i.e. max having high hopes for blackwell and her sorta new beginning#n then near the end after dealing with so many draining situations over the course of 5 days it just#makes sense to me that she wouldn't be wearing any bright colors#yknow ???#i'm bad with words sorry man#but like#seeing someone who's so bright personality wise be dressed in such a heavy outfit#i like how it subtly shows how much damage the weeks done to her (as if it wasn't already obvious but)#it would feel a little wrong almost seeing her do that scene in her bright pink jane doe shirt#like you can visually see the weight of the week weighing her down all through a simple outfit change#i'm rambling i haven't slept in almost a day#but you get what i mean right#it's a small thing but i feel like even something as small as an outfit#can really change how a certain scene is viewed#like the whole max wearing the same dress she wore to williams funeral to chloe's#AND wearing chloe's spike bracelet to the funeral too#instead of just a random black dress#but#different convo for different time#life is strange#max caulfield#lis
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In political spheres, I so often want to ask, "is what you're doing 'punching up,' or are they just an easily-available, acceptable target?"
#politics#because i find that it's oftentimes... not punching up#so often i see 'punching up' as 'whoever i can sink my claws into without being chastised'#and i think it's a fundamentally reactionary mindset to think 'who can i attack without recourse?'#it isn't punching up to the patriarchy to exclude and chastise trans men* for example...#...and too often people hyperfocus on the 'how does it make ME look?' to do this rather than on...#...who would be affected by their actions and what they advocate for...#...maybe it wouldn't make somebody look bad to say that trans men* for instance should be ran out of every space because it's 'punching up'#...but how exactly would that affect the marginalized group (being trans men*)...#....anyway that's an example i've seen (and experienced) of this in case it makes it clearer...#...no this isn't solely about trans men* and no this isn't saying that only trans men* are affected by this...#...it's something a lot of marginalized people both experience and may even perpetuate on individual levels...#...because it often feels GOOD to 'punch up'. you're told that it's 'showing them what's what' and maybe sometimes that's the case...#...but i've seen it too often where somebody is actively damaging a marginalized person/group as a means of 'punching up'#and that's why i ask... okay is this punching up or is it an attempt to gain control in a powerless situation through any means necessary?
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Ehhh fuck it I'll post this one too -- I wanted to color it first, but. I'm actually split on redoing Alfonse's outfit completely, or at least making adjustments.
Like, in my head, I think I was doing two separate things between the Askr siblings and it just doesn't feel cohesive to me now.
What, you ask? Well, the first thought behind this, was this is a visit. So, Sharena is straight up wearing Moe's old clothes it never could seem to let go of. I think I got mixed up around Alfonse, though. Literally half and half. He's wearing some of Moe's clothes (esp the flannel, green, band merch), but the idea here is they did have to go out and get stuff that actually fits right.
Which... works. It does work. But I think in the back of my head I was also wanting to design an outfit that's more AU coded. Going from argyle sweater vest ass to mmmmaybe trying to develop his own sense of style. Which kind of directly clashes w the idea that he's wearing some of Moe's clothes. But also. So. SO BADLY. ESP IN THIS CONTEXT. I would LOVE for Moe to have direct influence in the process of that. Another detail you don't even get to see here is Alfonse is wearing a studded belt. Courtesy of Moe.
Lack of direction too many ideas at once. Maybe if it's an AU, the dress could have been a hand-me-down? If you like it, and it fits. You can have it. If you want... (Moe completely dodging just how deeply meaningful this gesture is when doing this). But also, could go REALLY crazy if Moe (previous life) had fashion taste that was close enough to Sharena's that, like. At different points of time, each ended up picking out the same dress. It's such a funny line to balance, actually. Because despite all the parallels I may draw between them, Moe was NEVER what Peony was, to Sharena. Not even close.
Idk idk there's a possibility that I'll get too frustrated w all the details not matching up here that I scrap it completely. Just know that the dress Sharena is wearing is pink and white. Very Princess Peach core. The style of it, though... it's pretty close to something else... a certain Something Else... just enough to scare ya. Which is ALSO WHY this might work better as a visit and unique psychological damage for Alfonse but I DIGRESS. WHAT YHE FUCK EVER. TOO MUCH GOING ON HERE JUST THROW IT ALL OUT‼��‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
#absolutely like after troubleshooting rubber ducking like. 99% close to just scrapping it. SAD!#too much going on. also maybe redundant on the mani nod? bc. moe held on to that one too.#you better BELIEVE it could not let go of that one.#so maybe it does work better as like. a stylistic similarity that raises an eyebrow.#or at very least deals ten points psychic damage to alfonse.#the important thing about moe is that it didn't start presenting super femme until it was 15.#which. the lore about alfonse mistaking mani to be 15. and moe placing mani at 19 (catastrophic egg cracking event)#something is happening here.#LIKE. IT ALL CONNECTS. SOMEHOW. IT ALL CONNECTS.#idk idk all i know is that i've been dying to draw sharena in that dress in particular bc it is one i actually own#but it. may not be meant to be. at least here. at least now.#I'M TOO FRUSTRATED. W THE DETAILS. ESP CAUSE IF I WENT INTO THIS DESIGNING AN AU OUTFIT#for alfonse SPECIFICALLY. this is the VERY first draft i'd probably scrap and do a million other concepts for.#UGH. i'm just too autistic about it.#swagever....#fe alfonse#sharena#moe tag#my art#moe lore#bc of. the lore is here. there is lore here.#black turtleneck underneath the flannel thumb cutouts on the sleeves. btw. on alfonse there.#form fitting strikes a convoluted balance between modest/formal emo/slutty ect ect ect#if you. even care.
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I don't think I get like triggered by things really but maybe it happened today?? in my most annoying class with my most annoying teacher we've been going over the same domestic violence worksheet for like two weeks and the room was really hot and stuffy and I suddenly felt so so queasy. then straight after in English we also brushed over that 😭 but in a more valuable and speculative manner at least. like in the first class we were talking about statistics and how young men view it/perpetuate it and she suggested linking it to our own experiences?? err no?
#so sick of talking about this stuff bruh if i want to examine this from an observational standpoint i just need to#literally open my eyes. and ive got three live case studies right around me. piss off#in english it was less direct and more sensitively handled#but we have to write a discursive about an issue we feel strongly about linking it to our personal experiences#and uhh. well. i began to feel a bit queasy again#maybe stupidly. it's not like any shit has been done directly TO me it truly feels like im being overdramatic about this#but ugh oof ough taking damage points#and like there's this thing called mandatory reporting...#so ill write something lighter or write about a non-existent aunt as the strawman for my mother. i guess#honestly hate my first teacher though. i strongly am against hating any teacher. but i do hate her#she doesn't even know how to read !!!!! she has pattern recognition not literacy !!#oscar.exe
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pre and post shit hitting the fan modus should have at least subtly different designs. methinks
#dunno when i'll actually draw the fucker i've been painfully burnt out of late#but i like to think either in avatar or humanoid form they tweaked their visual presentation once they were able to do that#(and esp. in the case of gijinkas were left with some physical damage. seen a couple designs with a crutch i really like that idea)#like. i just CANNOT imagine even the enclave trusting something that smiles Like That (i think it's cutes but i have problems)#i wanna say og modus coulda been idk. a clearer image with a wider variety of more approachable looking expression slides#and no spooky pinprick pupils. hell maybe even visible eyes which is lowkey creepier to me atp#more personable but somehow less alive. you understand. anyways neverrrr pass a neurodivergent genderweird person the character#whitespring automated recording
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Callouts failed when they went from “this person has an established predatory modus operandi and uses this site to find victems, PSA please stay safe if this this person starts interacting with you they could hurt you” to “interacting with this person is icky stay clean keep feeling clean don’t interact with the icky”
I'm going to be honest I remain unconvinced that there has ever been a time when people weren't using the language of the former when actually expressing the latter. The purpose of a system is what it does. If there is a specific framework of post designed to unperson a specific kind of hypothetical "bad person", there is no scenario in which that framework isn't going to be abused.
Ultimately the term "callout" is too vague to even have a cohesive stance on though. I've seen it used to describe anything from mild criticisms to whole tomes of vitriol explicitly designed to get someone killed.
I don't know. These days I don't even feel comfortable mentioning people that have actively harassed me by their usernames at the risk of getting hate spread their way. I can't really imagine the appeal of singling out a person and then posting about how much they suck. I don't even care if the person they're calling out does suck. I just don't feel safe around anyone that posts like that.
#the other day i had someone say something rude in a reply to my post and i screenshotted it and was said something heated in response#and then had to be like. no. this is shitty thing to do. probably it wouldn't but if there's even a chance#that it might get this person harassed then it's my responsibility to not let that happen.#so i deleted the whole post and just blocked the person and moved on#i don't really know how everyone isn't living in like. constant anxiety about the potential damage they can do to someone.#with how quickly things can escalate on the internet#I don't know. maybe I'm being too weird and cautious about that kind of thing but. that's where i try to stand.
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Man, I feel very "old man yells at clouds/back in my days" right now, but powercreep has made the game so... unfun.
Sure it's nice to do things faster when you're in a hurry, but when all challenge in open world group fights is gone and meta bosses melt in less than 2 minutes...
I don't want to play an autoclicker when I open gw2, but it's really starting to feel like it.
#sure the return event is making it worse because maps are bursting with skilled players but last time it wasn't THIS bad#and NO I don't want to run a boon build just to get credit because I can't even TAG enemies ffs#I shouldn't have to use the skyscale fireball in HOPES of tagging something because it dies before I can even register it's there#and again I'll die on the hill that the JW warclaw is too OP for the health of the game#maybe hot take: builds shouldn't do more than 40k even when it's one that you need skills to pull it off. 30k for dps is FINE.#current balance team is doing many good things but they absolutely have to nerf damage across the board ffs#and buffing health bars isn't the answer#Skye says stuff
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you say they can’t put telepaths in marvel rivals, yet we have some very credible leaks that jean grey and emma frost are gonna be in the game soon.
that being said, jean has telekinesis (and the phoenix force) and emma has her diamond form. telepathy is all charles has, lmfao. odds are pretty low for him, but maybe not zero if they give him telekinesis!
if yall have me say he got psionic blasts one more time i am going to scream HE HAS MORE THAN TELEPATHY . LIMITED BUT HE HAS IT <- he has gone against sentinels and disabled armies with it before HE CAN FIGHT I PROMISEEE
and technically they did give him telekinesis in krakoa (and very weak telekinesis sometimes before krakoa) so .... not my fave move but he does have that ...... and ig they give him a gun sometimes ........ last resort type shit but he has options ..
#snap chats#area man gets too passionate about charles xavier more at 12#also did i not say emma had her diamond form or did i delete that tag#omg no i deleted the tag fuck my life. please believe me i did say emma had her diamond form i didnt think anyoned care tho#but with charles. as i said before. he has more than telepathy ...#limited but .. it exists options exist ... he can also Arguably control machinery#i say Arguably cause im still figuring out how he controls machines he says he does with his mind#then he can Also read like ??? SOME kinda waves in sentinels ??? that was a thing im p sure#BUT YEAH NO LISTEN this is what im saying when i say he could be a support character and not a duelist#as if anyone was contemplating duelist charles ........#lol i love how i call 'vanguards' tanks and 'strategists' supports but i stick with duelist for damage. sorry duelist better#anyway let charles be support it'll never happen because this game hates me but i can dream#listen im just saying maybe charles can have a move that disables machinery or something#like punisher or iron man... maybe like a temporary lock on weapons... just one target#lmao wait im just thinking of sombras ult from ow arent i. yeah fuck it why not he can have a disable-all-skills ult idc vejRLKAERJE#sounds bout right for how sneaky he is sometimes .....#his left and right clicks could lit just be psionic blasts of varying strength and speed#doesnt even have to do physical damage ... mental damange .... what the difference right the brain sayin There Is Pain anyway..#maybe charles could have a sonar ability that lets him (maybe nearby allies too) see through walls for like. three seconds... 50M range....#like yk what i mean he can sense where people are thats my idea...#LIKE LET ME COOK MARVEL LET MEEE IN <- dont ill make him busted or horrible there is no in between
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i drew silly gijinkas of my dogs
the dogs in question
#doodles#uhhh ill tag this oc even though its just my dogs lmao#oc#anyways#for the record about their personalities#dakotas very much a grumpy old lady. shes pretty quiet and when she has something to say its not very nice#vyse used to be a little menace!! but hes mellowed out as he got older#and orpheus is a menace!! he loves annoying people its his favorite hobby#he doesnt try to be destructive he just does things he thinks will be cool without thinking and causes massive damage in the process#hes the kid who went WANNA WATCH ME DO A BACKFLIP OFF THIS WALL??? without knowing how to do a backflip#hes like 15 and he was on his schools football team but then one summer everyone came back really buff and he did not#so he doesnt play football anymore#and hes covered in bandages from all the stupid things he does#anyways in terms of designs. i had a vision for dakota and orpheus and none for vyse#dakota specifically i thought should have a long braid and one of those fucked up canadian hats. and orpheus should look like-#-a teenage boy who cant dress nice!! also his hoodie says hellhound on the back#the neon shorts are DIRECTLY ripped from the ones i got from when i did wrestling. theyre so fucking comfy btw#dakota is mostly just cold and comfy. she REFUSES to dress lighter#vyse i didnt have any real ideas for again. i wanted to make him look a bit like his namesake vyse skiesofarcadia but i wasnt sure how#in the end he got that red scarf. which i think does make him look a bit more mischevious since so much of his face is hidden#anyways theyre like a fucked up little found family!! vyse would murder for dakota and orpheus. and dakota probably does too#probably. you can never be sure if she does actually like him#oh also this is mostly irrelevant. but vyse and dakota were meant to be like later 30s (dakotas maybe 38 and vyse is 34? ish?)#and also theyre russian. vyse and dakota i mean. idk if it comes across for vyse but one of my friends guessed it with dakota so!!#idk siberian huskies. theyre russian. россия or whatever
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Re: Naruto characters I dislike -- under the cut! :)
The thing with Danzo and Tobirama is that, I get it. I might not agree with it, at all, but I get where they're coming from and, honestly, I am very much self-aware enough that, if I had lived through their same experiences, I can't say for sure that I would have done any different. Did they do terrible things? Absolutely. But, again, I can't proclaim with surety that I'd be any better. Like, I can sit here from my current seat and judge them, but experiences color perception and I'm just as susceptible to bias as everyone else is. Who knows what my outlook would be had I lived through the First and/or Second War.
The thing with Rasa and Chiyo is that, there is some resolution. It's definitely too little, too late, especially in Rasa's case, but there is growth and admittance of fault there so that, even if I don't actually like either character, the character development present in the storyline (particularly for Chiyo!) is such that it somewhat cancels my dislike out, leaving me with largely neutral feelings. I did used to have stronger feelings against them, but I suppose it's true that you mellow out with age lmao
The thing with Hiruzen and Hagoromo and Fugaku is that I neither get it, nor is there any character development or admittance/recognition of fault on their part XD
#the best we get is hag//oromo going: well. favoring one son over the other didn't work so this time i'll split my favor evenly between them#but like. that's just because the first time he got a bad result so now he's trying something different#not because he recognized that oh shit. maybe holding ind//ra responsible for the actions of other people was a crappy thing to do#and fug//aku's: we may have our differences but i am proud of you#doesn't really amount to geez i'm sorry i damaged you irreparably by intentionally exposing you to a warfront at the age of four#to further my own agenda and never allowed you to actually have a childhood#do i even need to say anything about hi//ruzen? XDDD#so yeah. with them i honestly just don't get it. i don't get where they're coming from. and we don't really go anywhere with them either.#(personally i think that since orochi already did two of these shitty parental figures in#he should have been allowed to just go down the list. spring cleaning XD)#omg an opinion post? i finally have spoons for those again??#maybe XD#it feels like it's been forever since i typed my own thoughts on something out instead of just putting some brief commentary in tags!#withoutwords
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in other news: doctors (of the psychiatric variety) and therapists love me. got invited to participate in yet another study lol
#I know I'm making it out to be a funny thing here but it means a lot to me that my bullshit excuse of a life is of use somehow#I used to donate blood but then I had to start taking medication every day so I'm no longer allowed to do that. nor bone marrow or organs#which.. I get. before it was lithium for a few years now I'm back on anti-seizure meds bc that's the other treatment option for bipolar#(the kinder one imo bc being on lithium sucked ass. between the potential for organ damage and the thyroid issue and the tremors and#the limitations on what medication I could take during migraine episodes.. just not fun whatsoever)#but yeah. love to be studied lol#first it was cell phone usage behaviour and such being tracked for two years#then it was a study abt the effects of covid and resulting isolation on mentally ill ppl I guess idk it was a while ago#then there was that lithium study with the fancy equipment/spool thingie they shipped in from a university abroad for those MRIs#idk I just like contributing to what will hopefully at some point become the basis for some positive change#I often feel like I'm not as hopeful a person these days but this is definitely me investing in the future#if not mine then that of others. could still crash and burn but at least I'm still trying.#and who knows. mayne when I die some day I'll be able to donate my body to science too#don't get me wrong. I'd also love to just rot somewhere in a forest but that's expensive. and if it could help science then why not#not like I'm gonna miss by body when I'm gone. we don't have the tightest of bonds anyhow. just trudging along. two parts of.. something#if my body vacated the premises tomorrow and I was left out in the void where all things non-physical live I don't think I'd mind either#anyway. it's too late and I'm too sleepy to continue this line of thinking even if I do feel a yearning for that disconnect#but I'll leave that wish fulfillment to my dreaming hours. just like those lofty fantasies I've had about about other aspects of life#a day in the life of..#today we breathe and tomorrow we figure out the rest of life. one step at a time#(always we as in the me and the body. sometimes.. once in a blue moon the two align near perfectly and I get a glimpse#of what I might have been or been able to have had all thst shitTM not happened to me. but alas.. sth sth crying over spilt milk)#I will dream and we will rest and maybe tomorrow I'll pick myself up again and finally go bouldering again even if I feel weak and sad#even if I feel much too old to still be around. and too young to feel this tired. oh well. one day at a time
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Not to be dramatic and point fingers but why is it that the worst people with no respect towards art or anything that doesn't involve mindless consumption for "the lore" always have to be drakengard 3 and nier fans. like i don't even try to look and search for things to complain about regarding them but somehow every stupid fucking thing in this fanbase comes back to them
#gu6chan's musings#can talk about this here so literally a couple of days ago#this dude decided to post a 'machine translation' of the dod1 side story and you know what they fucking said?#'maybe someone like barnabisms can come pretty it up in the distant future 😍'#and i was like 'what the fuck are you talking about i did NOT spend 4 years putting painstaking effort into my shit just for you to come#along and say 'that could've all been done with a machine; actually lol''#i ended up getting REALLY upset about it (the most upset about something ive been in a while) and was like#'whats even the point. i was gonna do the dod2 sidestory but yk what go ahead and fucking do that too if machine tl is that good'#and eventually they took the post down and apologised and their whole reasoning was they weren't thinking bc they wanted to see the lore.#and like. you just want to consume more content is the fucking thing. you don't actually care about any of this#i should have had an idea when they tried arguing to me about the one -> seere/manah heritage being a good thing bc it 'connected' the two#games (disregarding any damage manahs already established character arc TOOK bc of that 'connection')#and they were a huge nier fan by the looks of it too and like. come on i keep saying SURELY they can't all be like that#and it sounds awful for me to say it like this but it's always fucking them somehow reaching new lows making shit unbearable 'for the lore'#i rlly rlly hate this fanbase man#again I'm feeling a lot better but Godddd it's gonna take some effort to get back into tl again after this tbh#but people were very supportive :') it made me feel a lot better bc at that point i was like please just someone care lmao#hung out with some friends last night and it was a good time#but yeah im gonna have to say more on this whole issue later tbh. i really dislike stirring conversations and shit up but!!!#ppl need to have more fucking respect!!!!
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