#maybe itll get my brain to work

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

[nectariii]

❀ building 13 movie theater headcanons !! ❀

YURRRR !! went to da movies earlier today so i kept imagining specific nanbaka characters in like cinema situations :P cinemations...cinetuations...?? YEAH-

rock is finding a way to smuggle in an outrageous amount of snacks. bro's got candy in his sleeves and chips in his pockets. originally only brought them for himself but ofc the rest of cell 13 beg him for a bite and he lets them cus thats just who he is. despite how much food he brought in he still finds himself missing the beginning of the movie bc he couldn't resist the heavenly scent of overpriced popcorn

nico is a slushy FANATIC. mixin' all the flavors, dumping candies in it n shit. totally the kid in the back of the movie theater slurping the last drop out of the cup hella loud when a quiet, tense moment is going down in a film. hajime's annoyed but stares daggers at anyone who tries to shush him. NICO'S FAV SLUSHY FLAVOR IS THE RED CHERRY ONE !!

uno, bless his heart, is absolutely the person who tries to predict the movie's plot before and during it. and the bad part is he's usually right. also the kinda guy to be scarily good at guessing what the characters are gonna say next lol

jyugo actually likes the movies more than you'd expect. always pockets the 3d glasses just cus he thinks they're cool and he likes that he can spend time with the rest of cell 13 without a heavy focus on talking or interacting. it's also a bonus that it's dark and he can sleep if he gets bored

it took FOREVERRRR to drag tsukumo out to the movies. hc that he's a much bigger fan of media without human actors in it because it reminds him less of his past, so the movie he went out to see with the rest of them was definitely animated. also likes the dark because it makes him feel stealthy, but he has a bad habit of stepping on each and every piece of popcorn or puddle of nacho cheese in the aisles...also insists on using the photo booth whenever he does hit up the cinema cus despite it all he still really likes getting his picture taken

yamato volunteers to wait on the snacks and carry them in while everyone goes ahead to take a seat in the theater. previews end and the movie is 15 minutes in but he still isn't there. everyone thought it was because the food was taking long to come out, but it's just because he forgot which theater to go to and kept circling until hajime and seitarou found him. prolly has trouble locating which seat to go to on his own cus he finds the letters and numbers confusing and hard to see in the dim light (totally not projecting)

seitarou has perfect movie etiquette and tries to get everyone else to follow his example, usually to no avail. his only problem is that he's too considerate of others and thinks he's being impolite when he's really not. the type to take the smallest bite of his food and tiniest sip of his drink so he doesn't disturb anyone. the kind to walk all the way around to the other side of an aisle because he doesn't wanna ask someone to pull back their seat for him to pass. poor guy, he even double-checked to see if his phone was on do not disturb and got shushed because his brightness was all the way up </3

andddd hajime. he's usually the sponsor for these outings since yamato literally can never find his wallet and seitarou doesn't have the heart to tell the others not to drain his bank account by buying ever concession there is. he doesn't let the inmates go wild with snacks and makes sure they behave properly while in there. uno tries to get the inmates to sneak over to another theater and catch the next showing but hajime catches them and makes them pick up the teensy bits of food they left on the ground. he's also the one who has the final say on what movie they actually go to, and even though he says he checks the ratings and plot beforehand because he "doesn't want to watch a shitty movie", it's actually because he wants it to be worth everyone's time and appeal to all of them at least a little bit. dadjime for the win <3

[sketchy-tour]

Oh I can't seem to get a grasp on my art right now and it is not helping my mood. I'm sure it'll pass and I'll be drawing back like I was before but I always get so worried in moments like these that I may never get a hang of it again.

Ah not meant to be a vent vent, more of just silly ramblings into the void.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[canarydarity]

Sooooo, what's your super specific jimmy au based on a historical figure about? 👀

oh you mean the one I am desperately trying to get my brain not to think about because I already HAVE a super niche jimmy au based on a historical figure? I'm so glad you asked <3

Grace Darling was the 22 year old daughter of a lighthouse keeper on the Farne Islands in the UK.

Early in the morning on September 7th 1838, she saw what she believed to be a shipwreck snagged on the rocks of one of the nearby islands. She convinced her father—who thought the idea much too dangerous—to accompany her to the wreck where they managed to save the lives of nine people.

This kind of thing made her INSTANTLY FAMOUS. like she was renowned worldwide for her bravery and empathy for others and for having done this etc. Artists traveled from ALL over to be able to draw portraits of her (people would pay so much money to have one to stick in their wallet. she was THAT famous), she was CONSTANTLY being interviewed by news outlets, Queen Victoria sent her £50!! they wrote each other letters!!!! She received a medal etc.

but grace hated the attention, and she was always saying she'd only done what any person would've and that was all!! she did not deserve nor want a pedestal!!! she asked kindly for it to stop!!! and it :')) did not :')).......

she could not leave her house without being swarmed by people and she was constantly being made to sit for portraits or strangers would beg her for a lock of her hair and it was a LOT! but she felt OBLIGATED to entertain it because it was SUPPOSEDLY well-intentioned!!! she was pressured to go on a tour around the country to speak about that day and her experience and she was SO worn down by the years of attention at this point that on this tour she....contracted tuberculosis and....died. at 26. and this just of course. pushed her even further into the spotlight and now in her death she is this. martyr. further memorialized in the media against her wishes as this hero. and I just. am so so sad for her. and wish she got some peace. she saved the lives of 9 people and she was in a way harassed for it until she,,,,,,,,,,,,

AND I JUST THINK THAT I CAN CANARY CURSE THAT. IN A WAY. MAYBE. I DONT KNOWWW I DONT KNOW. I CAN JIMMY THIS..........

tell me that the idea of Jimmy as a victorian era lighthouse keeper doesnt fucking SLAP. LIKE, im already picturing his wardrobe. UGH! hes so tortured. to me.

its not really an au yet....but it...but my brain is....its trying to make it so....something where i can talk about grace darling and how horribly upset I am about the way she was treated while also fitting jimmy into a victorian lighthouse setting.........................

Dont ask why my first instinct whenever I become obsessed and empathize with a new niche historical figure is to go "can I jimmy them?"

also pay no attention to the way both niche historical figures Ive done this to's stories have revolved around being the center of media storms outside of their control.

if you couldn't tell working at a museum is bad. for me personally. /silly

[toytulini]

wish the little listicles and articles reccomending google alternatives didnt like, mention ios. like no offense but do you think i dont know what an iphone is. you think im looking into google alternatives but i dont know that apple exists? you really think that? if i was going to buy a fucking apple product id already be doing that?

[orcelito]

Ok I reaaaaally really really need to stop reading so much fanfic. I read another 30k ish fic this morning and it was SO GOOD but I keep squeezing my brain thru binge reading (bc I can never read things in moderation I guess) and it is leaving no room for writing brain

Vaguely tempted to go back over ITNL for edits tho. Especially the first chapter. Since I'm gonna need to reread it anyways to get back into it, it'd be nice if I could smooth some things out with it...

Hmmm

[riveluart]

Oh shit my fma x soul eater au doodles have almost hit 1k

Maybe if it does I'll go back and make more doodles or something

[em-b-sides]

Chat. Maybe I need to be more masc. Idk.

[be-good-to-bugs]

ugh ive been awake too long to still be packing

[toastsnaffler]

SO BADLY ON AUTOPILOT I FORGOT I COULD LEAVE AT 4:30 TODAY AUUUURGH

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

i need to ride my bike!!!!!! but there arent a lot of places to ride around my apartment so if i want to ride i have to go to my parents house SIGHS

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[heartxdecay]

WHY do bad things always have to happen to me so close together like I did not NEED the combo of an acquaintance I was attempting to befriend blowing up at me and threatening to kill themselves over them deciding I said something I didn't (fuck being autistic why does everyone assume I'm inferring things when I'm actually NOT) and then my stalker who I haven't seen in about a year suddenly decides to show up at my place of work and ask MY BOYFRIEND if I was there (he lied and said I wasn't but I still caught a glimpse of him so he might have seen me) which lead to me finding out he never actually moved like he said he was going to which means realistically he could go right back to stalking and harassing me any time he wants. In the span of like 3 days. And of course right now we're like 3 weeks away from the big traumaversary time from when I left the cult + this is the midst of when I was reporting aforementioned stalker last year so I'm already constantly on high alert anyway. So now I'm constantly struggling just to stay awake let alone work and I already had to drop out of school and lie to my parents about it because the condition of me living here is remaining in school which means since I'm not they're going to kick me out if they know. So I can't NOT go to school AND not work especially because I'm trying to save as much money as possible in order to move out of this stupid hellhole of a "family" home where I'm constantly used as a third parent for my younger siblings. But I'm so tired all the time from stress keeping me awake at all hours and being completely unable to leave fight or flight mode when awake that I can barely find the energy to move, and my work is extremely tiring. I work retail as a supervisor and I have to deal with my coworkers not doing as much of the workload despite all being full time while I'm part time, none of the people I'm in charge of taking me seriously because I'm either younger than them or the same age as them, regular stress that comes with working retail and dealing with customers, and a management change that is leading to us getting a notoriously rude + perfectionist manager who I have personally seen throw an actual tantrum over having to do his JOB. Which means I can't afford to be tired and grumpy because I have to remain professional and productive. But every time something slightly off happens I want to burst into tears. Nobody there respects me and it's hard enough to handle when I'm NOT dealing with all of this. And of course because God hates me all of this happened when I decided to try to cut back on constantly vaping so after incident #2 I immediately gave up on that and I honestly think I've been going through cartridges FASTER. It's genuinely such a struggle every day to not relapse on self harm or turn to alcoholism and I'm not sure how much longer I can last. Especially because my literal only IRL support system is my boyfriend, because my parents are worth jack shit, my siblings are children, and my only "friend" in person is an objectively terrible human that I only still have around because they were my FP for a really long time and I have a hard time letting go of that relationship (every time I try I end up running back) and I just KNOW that if I even TRY to breach any of this with them they're either going to hit me with an "oof/yikes" and nothing else or spread my PERSONAL shit to everyone they know INCLUDING my extremely abusive ex that they refuse to totally cut contact with because it's "mean". which means I actually have nobody to turn to except the internet friends in my phone who for one aren't online all the time and have lives but two since they're my ONLY SUPPORT SYSTEM I cannot keep dumping everything on them constantly or I'll overwhelm them. Not to mention they have also had to deal with the acquaintance I mentioned at the start because they're actually THEIR friend, not mine, so if anything it's an even bigger deal to them. This leaves me with only my boyfriend who I already feel shitty enough about given the raging BPD.

[forestryfae]

anyways i really need someone to diagnose me cus this is ridicilous. im 25 and all i know is i have mood swings randomly and can be set off by the tiniest shit, i am constantly scared of relationships and literally cant trust people no matter how well i know them and i have long periods of just giving up cus nothing is worth it or fun and then when something IS enough or fun i literally cant get enough of it and WILL go i NEED more. and i obbsessively pick shit and decide that This Is Safe And Perfect and somehow i NEED it in my life or nothing will ever be okay and i might as well set my life on pause until i can achieve Perfection

but yeah. the inpatient im at is so work focused, despite being a PSYCHIATRIC institution, that they value work over therapy. i need therapy. i need therapists. i need something where we are BOTH working on my social and life skills and my mental health at the same time. like those three NEED to be in sync. i cant ONLY go to work for 5 hours a day then come home exhausted and have noone talk to me except for like. to ask about art group and to tell me i need to clean my room. and then at the same time have them not do any other follow ups, not help me with medication at all, not checking in on me, not doing therapy, not taking me to appointments theyve been informed of well ahead of time, not have regular treatment-related talks with me, not even inform me about treatments, and constantly tell me its all my responsibility to fix and figure out even though its. their job. i came here to learn how to be an independent adult and instead i wind fucking. being told "figure it out yourself" and "do this" with the expectation that i should just know automatically as if i was born with the knowledge of the whole world.

like. can i maybe get some fucking therapy? i NEED a psychologist. i NEED medication, maybe. i dont know. what i dont need is to be forced to work for a year with no follow up at all and noone doing their job to make sure my treatment is like. actually working. i shouldnt have to remind them that they need to do meetings with me and that we have stuff we need to work on, i shouldnt have to deal with asking people to remember me and notice me and having to feel like im nagging or not worth the effort.

so yeah. after almost a year of being here i have finally gotten a meeting with the ONE doctor we have here who can prescribe medication so we gotta figure that shit out i guess. hes very anti meds tho according to the other patients here, and frankly i can see it seeing as his first action was to just. tell me to go sit in the livingroom and talk to people cus its good for me. nothing else like buddy. i needed. help. and you wanna focus on me talking to people daily no matter how much anxiety i have?? thats. not treatment. wheres the cbt stuff. the fucking mental excercises. the regular talks. but yeah hes been on paternity leave since like a month or three after i got here and now hes only gonna come here every. 2 months i think it was. i get to talk to a doctor who may or may not be a psychiatrist about medication i may or may not get, who has had ZERO involvement in my treatment here, and who still hasnt sent me to a ears nose throat specialist even tho i requested it months ago. instead ive been prescribed medication with no actual examination at all.

but yeah i can either stay here or go home and i dont wanna go home so. might as well. stay here for a while. and hope that i can get the shit house sold so i can find an apartment and maybe like have a life eventually.

[orcelito]

JEALOUS streak

Who'd have thought