#maybe not the devil judge

[haomnyangz]

You're both clumsy when it comes to comforting others. But you know, it's actually comforting. Because you're clumsy at it.

[amethystina]

So my brain is at it again...

And this time it wanted to inform me that it would be very interesting with an amnesia fic where Ga On loses his memories but can still detect emotions related to those memories. Just imagine the possibilities.

Quick disclaimer: I'm sure there are several amnesia fics in the fandom already — maybe even one exactly like this — but I haven't read them so I'm just going to tell you all about it anyway because, to me, it's a new idea xD

Anyhow.

Imagine him waking up at the hospital, sometime during the later half of the drama (maybe he got shot instead of Soo Hyun and complications led to him getting memory loss — idk, let's handwave it for the sake of the scenario), and he's met by Soo Hyun and Professor Min. And while Ga On can't say what their names are, he can tell that he knows them. He can't access the memories but he feels the affection and the trust and accepts that they must have been a part of his life previously. And, understandably, they become the rocks he clings to because everything is new and confusing. He can still remember how to do basic things — he could probably even drive if they put him inside a car — but not who he is.

And Soo Hyun and Professor Min are going to have a rough time explaining some of it, no doubt.

Like, imagine the pain when Ga On asks where his parents are and even before Soo Hyun or Professor Min say anything, Ga On feels a rush of grief and anger. Because he doesn't remember them dying, but his body remembers the anguish of that tragedy all the same.

Some things are more humourous, though. Like: "... why is my face plastered all over the city? Am I famous?" Ga On would be so confused because the emotions he feels as he sees billboards with his own face aren't necessarily good ones. He mostly feels embarrassed and self-conscious. But he is kind of proud when he hears that he's a judge. It must mean he's smart.

Anyhow. The real fun part begins when Soo Hyun brings Ga On back to his apartment and Ga On is like: "Yeah, this is familiar." But he can also tell that, no, it's not right. It's not home. It feels cold and stale, as if he's not really living there anymore. And he doesn't understand why. Because, according to Soo Hyun, he's been doing so since he was a kid. But Ga On just shrugs his confusion off because, all things considered, he trusts Soo Hyun more than his own memory.

Also, imagine when he asks Soo Hyun if he has a girlfriend and she looks stunned, then awkward, then shy, and starts giving some mumbled response that no, he doesn't — at least not that she knows of. And Ga On has an "oh" moment because her behaviour makes it very clear that she'd want to be that girlfriend. But then he'd get confused because what he feels when he looks at her is a lot of warmth and love, sure, but not that kind of love.

Because this Ga On doesn't have years of memories to confuse him and muddle their relationship — he just feels the emotions. And, from his currently pretty objective point of view, it doesn't seem like romantic love.

He may love Yoon Soo Hyun very much, but he's not in love with her.

He doesn't tell her that, of course, because that would be rude, but he definitely makes a mental note to be careful with how he acts around her because he doesn't want to accidentally lead her on.

And it continues like that, with Ga On trying to navigate the world with nothing but emotions to go on. Which, obviously, will sometimes become very overwhelming for him, but he's stubborn so he'd still try and, of course, do his best to recover his memories. And some start to trickle in eventually, but it mostly old ones that are very deeply ingrained in his psyche.

Eventually, Professor Min decides to bring Ga On to the Supreme Court. Not to make him go back to work or anything — that would probably be disastrous considering the state Ga On is in — but to see if any of it can jog Ga On's memory. And sure, Ga On can tell that he's been in his office before and he can tell that he's met Jin Joo before — he feels both intimidated and bewildered by her — but nothing really stands out. All of it is just like ghostly silhouettes of a former life he knows he must have had but can't see clearly.

And then he meets Yo Han.

Just sees him from afar at first — Yo Han isn't even looking in Ga On's direction — but the familiarity still hits Ga On like a freight train. That is someone he knows as instinctively as he knew Soo Hyun and Professor Min. And before Ga On can really think things through, he just walks up to Yo Han because, clearly, this man is important. Ga On can tell that this man is important because his heart starts racing, his breaths go shallow, and he's suddenly overwhelmed by such a myriad of confusing and conflicting emotions he can't even sort them out. Some are negative — even outright alarming — but there's also joy and fondness and longing.

Which just makes him even more confused when Professor Min catches up and explains that this is Ga On's boss. And said boss looks at Ga On with what he first thinks is bland indifference. But the longer he stands there — and listens to Professor Min tersely explaining what they're doing there to Yo Han with half an ear — Ga On realises that, no, that's not indifference. There's something underneath it — a spark of something else he can't name but can definitely tell means something. And he desperately wants to know what that something is. He wants to scratch at it until he can peel away the layer of indifference hiding it from sight.

He needs to know.

But then, not long after that thought has crossed his mind, Ga On is reminded of the fact that this is, apparently, his boss. His male boss. And Ga On really shouldn't be feeling any of the things he's feeling. But, at the same time, he can't just ignore it. Because this is what a connection should feel like.

He might not have a girlfriend but, clearly, he has someone he's in love with.

And that's a little daunting, not to mention disorienting. Because Yo Han doesn't look approachable at all, and there is also a lot of frustration and anger mixed in with the much happier emotions when Ga On looks at Yo Han. There's just so much. And Ga On is confused because he can't really see himself falling in love with the man in front of him. Yo Han doesn't look like a very kind man.

And then, suddenly, Ga On realises that he has no idea if Yo Han knows that Ga On is in love with him. Maybe they're even a couple? It sure seems like they could be considering the attachment Ga On feels. He gets impulses to be physical in a way he hasn't with anyone else he's met thus far. He felt comfort hugging Soo Hyun, sure, but this is something else entirely. This is a need burning inside of him, urging him to draw closer to Yo Han.

He kind of wants to kiss Yo Han, right there in the corridors of the Supreme Court.

But Ga On can't be sure because Yo Han isn't exactly easy to read and aside from that spark of something when he looks at Ga On, Yo Han is impenetrable. And, if they were a couple, wouldn't Yo Han have insisted on finding Ga On earlier? Even if they have some sort of secret relationship that Soo Hyun clearly isn't aware of? Shouldn't Yo Han look more worried?

So maybe they're not together? And Ga On is just hopelessly in love with his boss? A boss who, judging by the way he looks at Ga On, might not even like Ga On.

Whichever it might be, Ga On realises he has to find out. His old memories are already trickling in, slowly but surely, but they're all of Soo Hyun and Ga On's parents and stuff that happened ages ago. And Ga On wants to know more about his life now. He wants to know more about Yo Han.

And he desperately needs to know if his feelings are reciprocated.

Even if it will definitely break his heart if he finds out that they're not.

...

SO YEAH.

It would be quite fun, wouldn't it? If I can find a way to make the story relatively short, I might just write it. Because I'm really intrigued by the concept of Ga On still having the emotions attached to the memories, but not the memories themselves. So he'll remember being both frustrated by and attracted to Yo Han. But without all the memories and years of influence from Professor Min and Soo Hyun fresh in mind, he wouldn't understand the negative emotions as much, nor put as much weight on them.

And it would be interesting to see how that would change their dynamic.

Because some of Ga On's behaviour would still be the same — he'd still be stubborn, righteous, a bit awkward etc. — but he'd also be freer. And a lot freer to act.

So that would be interesting, I think?

And now my brain will hopefully let go of this story and let me focus on other things for a while

[mmelolabelle]

I don’t know why people are so panicky about Louis’ “burdened out of spite” comment? It’s just Louis interpretation of what happened – we have no idea what he actually knows, much less how he used that information to come to that conclusion.

My brothers and sisters have we not just watched two seasons of a TV show where one of the main drivers of the entire plot is the fact that Louis is Wrong™️? Relax.

[lienwyn]

Happy birthday, @a-very-fond-farewell! I figured you would enjoy seeing Mr. Abyss in a silly apron ;)

And Ga On be like: "DON'T MIND IF I DO"

... possibly connected to Who Holds the Devil, I guess, since Yo Han is cooking? The future we're all longing for, or something. Especially Ga On since he finally gets to bury his nose against Yo Han's neck like he's always wanted. That boy.

[thedeviljudges]

is yohan gay. like gay gay

[briwates]

One of my favourite cinematography aspects of tdj is that it has multiple scenes of chaos mirroring each other (people scrambling in the church fire, the SRF gala in ep4, the school children fighting in the flashback of yohan's past, the final act in ep 16 before yohan explodes the courthouse). While ep 16 is very much Yohan's reproduction of that commotion in the middle of the fire, he...was not in the church yet when it happened. He's seen running towards it, he's pushed out of the way by heo jungse, cha gyeonhui etc but when he actually steps foot inside there's only isaac, heejin and elijah trapped by the debris and fire.

At first I thought ep 16 was simply Yohan putting the SRF and heo jungse + his wife in the same situation as 10 years ago for his vengeance, but now im realising he's actually recreating the terror felt by his family and making them experience it by feeling completely trapped and at his mercy...

[parsleyartist]

Pov: the weird picture you found on your crazy uncle's drawer.

[Comm Open]

[amethystina]

I'm trying to edit chapter 41 but instead of focusing on that, my brain generously supplied me with the following exchange between Yo Han and Elijah

Taking place a couple of years after canon, is my guess (unrelated to Who Holds the Devil), when they're all a little more settled and Yo Han and Ga On are a long-established couple.

Yo Han: "What would you say if Ga On and I decided to have children?"

Elijah: "You know you can't actually get him pregnant, right?"

Yo Han: "Not for lack of trying."

Like. Yo Han. My dude.

I know that you're joking. And I'm pretty sure that Elijah knows that you're joking. But you should consider yourself lucky if she doesn't try to murder you after you throw something like that at her.

Be kind to your poor niece. She definitely didn't need to hear that.

Also, let's hope Ga On is never made aware of this conversation. He might just die from embarrassment.

Or try to throttle Yo Han.

[buildarocketboys]

(Putting the Hellboys together so they fit on the poll. This is just including the movies he's been at least both writer and director for according to Wikipedia.)

[kingkangyohan]

Yo Han soaping Elija's teddy bear, cleansing any trace of death away, rinsing its fur from the church's ashes, scouring until the smell of fire and burned disappear from hie nieces's favorite toy - hoping to ease her her sleep, praying he would carry any of his niece's nightmares instead.

[lienwyn]

your photo realistic drawings? are so good? i remember skipping past the drawing of the who holds the devil forehead flick, thinking it was a screen grab from another one of jinyoung's dramas but you drew that? and the moon jo portrait? ur so insanely talented

Thank you so much! That honestly makes me so happy to hear 💜

The illustration from Who Holds the Devil was meant to look as much like a screenshot as possible to continue the whole "Who Holds the Devil is as close to a second season as we're gonna get" joke (which might be less of a joke now I guess?). Because if I'm writing it, why not supply people with the screenshots as well?

I even studied the specific lighting in Ga On's apartment to make sure it was the right hue and angle. And had to paste together three different screenshots of his apartment to get a reference for the background. And also had to pretend that I had any idea what I was doing when it came to the shadows and lighting — especially on Ga On's face because the reference had a completely different light source. That drawing was — and still is — the most complex piece I've made in terms of combining references and trying to make it look as unified and realistic as possible.

All of which backfired spectacularly since a lot of people now seem to scroll past it, thinking it's just a manipulated screenshot x'D

So mission accomplished? But, like, mission accomplished so successfully that it ends up being a failure since many don't seem to realise it's a drawing. One meant to imitate a screenshot from the non-existent season two, sure, but a drawing nonetheless.

I still have the WIP images from when I was drawing and here's a little gif I made out of them, in case anyone is curious:

The drawing turned out so much better than I had ever dared to hope and I'm so, so proud of it. Especially since I learned a lot during it and it helped push my limits in a way I'm usually too cowardly to attempt.

And sure, it was terrifying — especially when it came time to post it — but I also had a lot of fun. And now know a lot more about what makes things look realistic!

Thank you again for the lovely compliments! 💜

[briwates]

You know how Ms Ji's cooking is horrendous but Yohan and Elijah (and I assume Isaac?) ate it all without complaining for what seems to be years. If she was the one to raise Yohan, that means she's been cooking in that house since he was a baby. I'm wondering then, why would Kang Jisang keep a housekeeper that can barely cook ? And apparently not say anything because to the day Gaon tries her cooking, she's not sure why the kangs stopped eating it ?

Either 1) Jisang liked her food 2) had some form of ageusia/didnt care for the taste of food, maybe as a self flagellation method idk. 3) Ms Ji's cooking wasn't always like that !

I'm thinking that maybe it was normal, nothing amazing about it but decent enough, until a bit before jisang's death or after the church fire. Elijah mentions that she's obsessed with adding healthy ingredients everywhere even if it does not match the dishes she's making. I wonder if Ms Ji does it with the intention to promote healing or something like it, especially once Elijah loses the ability to walk and Yohan has second to third degree burns on his back. Would also sort of explain why they don't dare tell her anything about it, because she was trying so hard and they didnt want to hurt her feelings by telling her upfront that the food wasnt edible..

[uhhhhmanda]

Me: Ok, I'm on the last chapter of the amnesia fic extended cut. It's all porn from here on out. Easy peasy.

RECORD SCRATCH

The plot bunnies: Hey, what if instead you spent the forseeable future researching the historical eras of Korea and corresponding folklore to write an absolute fucking saga spanning the entirety of Korea's populated existence?

[tardis--dreams]

Yohan trying to learn how to talk with teenagers and subsequently trying to have a conversation with Elijah is probably one of my favorite scenes of all time. In like. Any kind of media

[thedeviljudges]

@kingkangyohan brought up such a lovely point on the bird app about how yohan's vendetta suited him; that the hate that burns through people actually looks good on him, and him being pleased and liberated is such a wonderful take on yohan because it's true!!

i think that's why yohan is so satisfying as a character because he's not trying to be anything other than himself. he doesn't go through the guilty stages or remorse - though most people would esp if it means potentially losing the love of their life.

yohan won against egregious transgressions, and it's gratifying for everyone to see someone who went through something so traumatic get revenge in a way that isn't necessarily the right way to approach coping with those feelings, but he does so nonetheless, and he's happy. yohan knew what he wanted; he got it (and more), and he can finally be at peace.

[hannigramislife]

Random opinions about kdrama I've watched!

That nobody asked for

1. Mouse:

I cried for him, and I will continue to cry for him. Talk to the fucking wall, he deserved to be sympathized with. The show as a whole had some issues when it came to its concept and a few narrative choices I didn't agree with, but if you take it at face value, it's a masterpiece.

2. Strangers from Hell

For some reason, I found Jongwoo very boring, and I would have liked a little more reasoning for Moonjo's obsession. Jongwoo should have been a little more suspectible to evil for my liking. Also, Seokyeon deserved better. Gi-Hyeok was such a waste of character.

3. The Devil Judge

Best kdrama lead, best family dynamic, best fucking villain. Emphasis on the villain. Did I mention I loved the villain??? An icon. Y'all won't ever catch me saying a bad word about this show.

4. Blind

Where to begin. I want my two hours of tears back, please. Undeserved. The ending killed me. I will never forgive them for it. Also, Sung Joon should have been more sympathetic, and I will die on that hill.

5. Vincenzo

Jang Han Seok was the one and only reason I managed to somewhat get through this show. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone even if it would somehow cure them of cancer. Every episode infuriated me as a person. Thank god Ok Taecyeon is hot.