#maybe there's one somewhere who turn people into reptiles

[inferno-0]

Frame

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You just need the shots.

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Sorry for the English.

Titans have always defeated their enemies. For millennia, if not more, they have fought for balance and peace on this planet. They were all strong in their own way. Even those same pests had some potential, but decided to go the other way, with poor results in the process. Victory has always been on the side of good. It had to be. Any way. Especially for creatures like Kaiju, who are truly majestic.

They had their own zest, and maybe even several.

Some people liked them

And some preferred to run far away, the main thing was not to look at them and save their lives. But that's what life is for, to preserve it and make that remnant richer than being eaten or trampled by the Titan. But do the Titans really need to do anything to humans? Their work is done.

There was no enemy and there was no point in doing anything else.

It's just people who are like that. Their size was really poorly chosen by nature and therefore you have to somehow survive and turn on instincts for advancement.

It's no one's fault that half of humanity actively avoids all these Kaiju.

It's just a smart decision of nature, or maybe fate itself, that gave all these Titans the ability.

The ability that people liked, who are not afraid of them and consider them something beautiful and attractive.

Especially you. A simple girl, an ordinary resident in the city,

Just a creature with a destiny to follow.

But this fate was difficult and you didn't know what to do and how to decide.

For some reason, your ego can't get enough of all these shots from the news on TV. You've always wanted something more, and you didn't know what it was. Even photographs that were accidentally photographed by people were kept for themselves. Everything that had to do with the Titans, you put aside for yourself. All the information that kept you afloat was yours.

You were obsessed.

Especially from the moment He arrived.

You've seen this fight and watched it several times. The Lizard fought other Titans unknown to you. You couldn't find an animal that matched these looks, but they all looked mysterious and beautiful in their own way. But there was a bad intention behind this beauty. You have heard and understood that these two Titans were parasites. That is why the one who fell into your soul mercilessly destroyed them. The one you've always liked and the one that sticks in your head to this day.

It's been many years since you've seen it. You didn't know where he was going or what he was doing. But perhaps he, like all animals, slept somewhere and accumulated strength for the next fight.

You've always been following the information about this Titan. Especially when he came back a couple of years later.

You've seen this fierce battle once again. But it's more terrible with the enemy. Their struggle was serious and decided the future fate of the planet. Two alphas and two kings.

But you've always been in favor of the former, and for good reason.

He won again and left again. And you were left sitting in your room and looking at the photos, which were added a few years later. And again. Struggle.

No matter how many years pass, no matter how many times you learn everything in your life. Your brain couldn't get it out of your head. So much time has passed, and you're still into it. Any ordinary person would call you crazy and frivolous, a person with a childish imagination and inspiration in the next book with Dinosaurs.

Or maybe it was.

For these people.

For you, this was the first step to destiny. Yes, it all started with simple reptiles and dinosaurs, and then the Titans, which seductively torment your soul. But you don't mind. You just need to shorten the distance to them.

And to him.

The one that ate up your brain and all the unnecessary thoughts every day.

You couldn't help but think about him. For you, it has become something ordinary.

It's already familiar.

A habit that only gives you a step forward.

And off you went.

The next struggle that was in front of your eyes. The Four Titans. Two by two, and Odin died. You didn't understand how you managed to survive in such a deadly situation. Buildings collapsed step by step, you desperately ran where your feet led. Where my instinct led me. The loud screams of people, the growls coming from somewhere above, made you close your eyes and ears and squeeze into yourself like a child in a corner.

It wasn't like what you saw on TV.

It was scarier.

It was worse.

But for some reason, you didn't run where the rest of the people who were saving themselves were running. You ran to him.

To Godzilla.

Its spikes were visible between the buildings and you took advantage of this by speeding up your run. The closer you were, the scarier it became from the size you gradually notice in front of you. You knew you could die, but you went anyway.

You've been dreaming for so long and couldn't miss this moment.

You don't care if you're going to die.

It's like someone steps on you.

You want and move forward, crawling through broken roofs and structures. Yes, it was difficult, but you walked.

They were practically near you, but not yet completely. They won't see you. Much less will He see.

A couple of meters left. You've already noticed the big ape that was called Kong. You recalled the struggle that took place a few years ago. It was him. The only thing that distinguished him from that image was a large and yellow metal glove, which seemed to increase his strength.

But it doesn't matter, what matters is that the one you admired, or even loved, has also become different. You walked to the last tall building that could withstand such storms and looked up.

Your favorite.

A creature that has sunk into your little heart from the very beginning. That has become something mundane in your head. He was in front of you. The changes that touched him excited your mind even more. His breath was pink, and his spikes became sharper and more curved. The legs have clearly become longer.

So beautiful and so attractive.

You watched in amazement as the Titan shot its beam into the sky, pulling apart the cold clouds, letting the sun into the world. It was perfect. It was so beautiful that we didn't notice how we pulled out the phone for another photo. This picture will be truly sensational. The most beloved in my entire life.

A smile immediately enveloped your face, you slowly picked up your phone and looked across the screen at Godzilla, who was unaware of anything. But he's unlikely to notice.

The finger cautiously approached the mug through which your life would sing again for a few days.

Squinting your eyes, you gasped for air.

"Click"

"Oops" You pursed your lips into a thin line and carefully moved the lens away from you. Okay, that wasn't the plan. It was ridiculous. A failure and a mistake that will probably ruin your life right now.

Reaching for your pocket, you put your phone back in and took a step back.

I don't think the sound reached them because of the difference in size, you just need to quietly step back from this fuss.

Slowly turning your back on the Titans, you took another step away from them. The quieter the step, the stronger the crunch of stones under your feet, which was a problem.

"Everything is fine. All.. Good.." You could barely hold back a sigh.

"Everything is wonderful..."

A huge shadow immediately loomed over you, right over your pathetic body. Your shoulders stiffened. You remembered how you came here without fear, but with a suspicion of death.

And here she comes.

That is, He came.

Warm air enveloped your shoulders. A rhythmic growl followed you, as if interested. You didn't dare turn your head, but you can't run away either.

Two options and two different answers.

How could you not hear this colossus approaching you?

Absurdly.

You swallowed, praying you wouldn't be in any danger. Just like yard dogs, they will smell it and move on. But not everyone does that.

Making a different decision, you jerked away from the Titan, jumping off a collapsed chunk of the building until you stopped again with a furious scream at your back. Out of your fear, another one sounded, but this time another, more rude. And it didn't seem to be aimed at you.

With tension, you turned all the way.

The two Titans growled at each other as if to say something, but it was not yet known what it was. Very strange. But you silently thanked the monkey for not letting you offend, to put it mildly.

You looked at the two kaiju one more time before pulling out your phone again.

Turning on the camera and adjusting the lens, you pointed your gadget at one cute Titan on the left. You didn't notice it right away, but when you caught your eye, you decided to take a picture and capture it as a complement to your passions.

Squinting your eyes and adjusting for an angle, you finally clicked.

"Click"

"Damn" You banged your head on the screen, bumping your forehead right at that button, where there was another click in the direction of the Titan. "What's the matter... "

The three of them stared at you.

The three mighty Titans fell abruptly silent. The one in white was just looking at you curiously, bowing his head slightly while the other two looked at each other. Although Godzilla still had a quiet growl in the direction of Kong, who just turned away with a frown, not wanting to start a fight again.

Now you're in their sight.

Here it is, embarrassment in front of an idol.

You raised your eyebrows, looking back. If you say something, they are unlikely to understand.

Lifting the camera again, you brought your finger closer to the button once more.

"Click"

With a shake in your hands, you brought the screen closer to you, staring at the photo in the hope that the second attempt would not come. You breathed a sigh of relief. All three of them looked at you peacefully, without screaming and without anything that could ruin the shot. Even Godzilla silently stared at you, even though it was scary. But you didn't mind.

All that's left to do is reach out, poke your hand on that muzzle, and feel the texture of the scales.

But it will only be in dreams.

So far.

And now.. Enjoy a bunch of beautiful Titans that flaunt in your lens. After all, it's not for nothing that you stepped on that very step as a child.

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[thehyperfixationspeedrunner]

This is me trying

On ao3 too

Summary: It's been a month since what Cardan has been calling the "reptile accident" when he decides to get up before Jude, not knowing the consequences.

OR these two are traumatised and they may not acknowledge it, but I will.

Trigger warnings (already put in the tags but I'm not sure if I did it right so better safe than sorry): panic attack, cussing

It's weird how easily you fall into routine. It's barely been a month since what Cardan has started calling the "reptile accident" or the one he likes best "revealing his true form" (although that one isn't used in front of Jude, she's not sure why but she prefers it that way). Anyway, it's been a month since Cardan has been transformed into a snake, since Cardan and Jude has started to live together as the King and Queen of Elfhame but they have already established a routine, even if neither of them has noticed it until today.

Jude is always the first to wake up - Jude was raised by a general and Cardan by a prince, so that part is obvious. She dresses first, giving Mr. Lazy time to sleep, and then she wakes up sleeping beauty even though he always complains that while there aren't people busting into the room saying he's late, she's waking him up early. He never says he hates it. Jude suspects is because he can't lie. From then, Jude orders breakfast while Cardan dresses up, and they eat together before having to deal with their royal obligations.

Today, however, was different. Shockingly, Jude was able to have some good 6 hours of sleep and woke up a bit disoriented. See, this is the bad part about sleeping a lot. When you wake up, your senses take a while to turn on. That's definitely the reason why Jude barely sleeps, at least that's what she tells everyone when they ask her. Because of that, she took a bit to notice that she was alone in bed, which triggered something in her brain. She instantly gets out of bed and starts to look in every corner of their room repeating to herself that everything is fine, Cardan just woke up earlier and is dressing up or putting the hundred of layers that he puts every morning because "I know I look impressive naturally but I am the High King, Jude, I have to look perfect". Except he is nowhere to be found.

See, a small but important part of this quickly created routine was when Jude woke up and she would always look to the side and see Cardan relaxed and asleep, would look at his chest rise and fall and make sure that, yes, he's alive and, no, this last month was not a fever dream, he really is here. Without that confirmation, Jude is starting to spiral, and the fact that Cardan is not in the room doesn't help.

She tries to take a deep breath. She's the High Queen goddammit, she can't panic every time a minor routine change happens. But the truth is that she cannot take the deep breath. She cannot even take a small breath. She's pretty sure she's not breathing at all. But she has to because Cardan needs her. Jude goes through her options: one, he did wake up earlier, got knocked off in the room but somewhere hidden where she didn't check; two, he got knocked off somewhere in the castle and his unconscious body is lying there; three, he got abducted while he slept; four... Maybe last month was a fever dream. No, she is not going to think about option four.

While she does a more precise search through their room, she also tries to think of who would do this. He's the King of Elfhame, so it's obvious that he has a lot of enemies, but she is not remembering anyone who's this mad at him right now. However, her hands are trembling and there's still not enough air reaching her lungs, so maybe her memory is not the best at the moment. You were almost deadly stabbed before the incident.

Ok, he is not in the room, so option number two. This one is not the most likely. If someone knocked him off, they wouldn't just leave him in the middle of the corridor, and Faes don't just slip, so he couldn't have knocked himself out. Besides the palace is huge, it would take too long to search. Maybe you were less healed than you thought. Option number three it is. There are three windows in the room. The climb is hard but not impossible, she has done it herself while having a major injury. A major injury that could have been infected. Jude shakes her head and checks the three windows. None of them is broken and they are all locked from the inside, like they were when they went to sleep, which she knows because she always checks that before going to bed. Unless the person was a master spy (which is an option), she doesn't know how someone pulled that of. The other way into the room is through the door, so she quickly opens it, revealing two knights part of her security.

"Was there any disturbance last day?" She would be surprised that her voice somehow didn't fail if she was at all worried with that right now.

"We heard or seen nothing different than usual, your majesty."

"Have you fallen asleep or abandoned your post anytime during your shift?" The knights were visibly offended by that, but she had to clear all her options.

"No, your majesty. Is everyth-" Having her answers, Jude closes the door, leaving the knights to their jobs. If she was in her right mind she would have noticed that she was still in her bed clothes, her hair was mess, the room was worse and her hands still trembled and her breath was still labored. But she was not her in her right mind. Cardan is missing- He was not here at all. Her husband is missing and she is going to find him. Maybe he was taken outside their bedroom and there is going to be some kind of clue outside of it.

She is about to open the door again when a thought crosses her mind. The lover's bedroom. There is a pathway between that room and the High King and Queen's room. That is how whoever took Cardan got in. No one got in. Hallucinations caused by infections are common, at least for mortals. She slides through the pathway towards the other bedroom but is met with a similar scenario. No window was broken and all of them are closed from the inside, same with the door, no signs of breaking. Stop looking for what you won't find. You know you can barely remember anything after cutting Cardan's head off. It was the serpents head. You know that's the same thing. There was a battlefield where you broke down. You could have easily been stabbed. I would remember it. Would you? Sometimes, our mind purposely forgets traumatic memories. You could have passed out. No. You could have dreamt. Stop. Cardan is dead and you have been feeding yourself this fantasy because you can't deal with the guilt. STOP. You killed him and now you're living in a world without him and you'll keep living in it because that's the reality. I SAID STOP.

Jude. The sound of something breaking. She can't do it. She can't go back to those three days. She can't live without Cardan's mockery. She can't live without his laugh. She can't.

JUDE. She's shaking now, or someone is shaking her, she's not lucid enough to understand. God, he's her anchor. She doesn't know what to do without him. She wants to go back to sleep. She wants to go back to their routine. She wants to hear him complain about waking up early again. She wants to feel his fingers playing with her hair again. She wants-

JUDE! Cardan. She opens her eyes (since when were they closed?) and faces the love of her life's face. He looks adorably worried, full make up and hair nicely treated. She can't help but smile. "Cardan" she whispers, trying not to force her voice tired from screaming and crying (curious, she doesn't remember that). She puts her head in the space between his neck and shoulder and he starts rubbing circles on her back. "Stay" she pleads. Because that's what she's doing, pleading to the universe to let her stay in this fever dream, to have more time with Cardan, even if it isn't real, even if he's dead, even if that's her fault and there's just her to blame.

"Always" and that pisses her off. Because that's what Cardan would say, that's how Cardan looks, that's how Cardan acts and this mind prison has no right to be this close to reality.

"Liar" she spits. He looks mostly confused and a bit hurt but she doesn't care, this isn't real so nothing fucking matters.

"Jude, I would never abandon you-"

"But you did!" she's close to screaming now, but she doesn't care, her voice was cracking, but it doesn't matter. She has to get this out. "You abandoned me for three days because of that prophechy bullshit. You left me to rule Elfhame while simultaneously dealing with the schemings that my father and the frozen royalty was fucking doing and the fact that the love of my life was a goddam snake and then I, and I-" she can't get it out, she still can't believe it.

"You saved me."

"I killed you." she is fully sobbing now, but she can't stop. She gets up (she was sitting down?) and keeps going "You're dead and this is just a manifestation from my brain, because somewhere else I'm also dying and I hope I do because I can't live in a world where you're not. I physically will not be able to continue without you!" She sinks into the floor using the bed as support and Cardan sits in front of her. He has a puzzled expression in his face. They stay some time in silence, Jude catching her breath and Cardan trying to put pieces together.

"Why do you think I'm not real?" he finally asks, his voice tiny as if he's afraid of the answer.

"You weren't there." Jude matches his tone. "When I woke up. I always check to make sure you're there because if you are, then that means you're real and I'm not dreaming. At first, I thought you were kidnapped. That's why I'm here, I thought this was how whoever took you got in."

"My wife, scheming even when she's panicking." he's looking at her with that adoration in his eyes that never fails to take her breath away. "Let's keep scheming, shall we?" He looks at her, waiting for an answer so she nods. "You say that you are dreaming, you're in this coma and you can't wake up. Well, let's test this theory. Did you know that you can't read in dreams?" Another nod. Cardan gets up, picks a book from the bedside table and hands it to her. "Well, can you read?" The answer is yes. The book was a mortal romance that she was sure she had seen in Cardan's hands. That meant that this was real, Cardan was here and she hadn't killed him. Immediate relief washed over and with that came more tears that she hadn't noticed when they stopped. God, she was a mess. This is ridiculous, she is being ridiculous. Trying to look less like she just had a mental breakdown over nothing Jude attempts to clean the tears that don't stop. Of course this is reality, of course Cardan just woke up earlier and went to do god knows what. She's the fucking High Queen and she can't stand when her husband is out earlier, can't keep a cool head, can't-

"Stop." Cardan gently takes the hands that are trying to hide the tears that keep coming, why don't they stop? "Don't do that." His tone is gentle but secure and so goddamn grounding, how does he do it?

"Do what?"

"Close yourself. I could see the moment you realised that this was the reality because that was the moment the mask came back on. You're probably thinking that you don't have the right to feel this way because you can't show weaknesses or whatever bullshit your mind thinks of." Sometimes it's scary how well he knows her. "Don't close yourself from me." He is rubbing circles with his thumb on the back of her hand and it feels so right, everything about him feels so right.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not." His tone is becoming more frustrated. "This is obviously bothering you, but I had no idea and because of my ignorance you just had a fucking panic attack." Her eyebrows went up. "I may have been reading about mortal psychology, but that's not important, what's important is," he moves his hands to cup her face and cleans the tears - that have finally stopped - with his thumb. "You don't have to pretend with me."

"You're one to talk." She retaliates but doesn't push him away. "You haven't said another word about those three days since I asked what it was like being a snake on the same day you stopped being one." Cardan laughs because he's Cardan and he laughs when he's nervous and he is not the only one who knows the other too well, she can see in his eyes that the thought of having to speak of those three days of hell terrifies him as much as her.

He moves to her side and sighs. "We really are made for each other, aren't we?" He seems to consider something before saying. "Let's make a pact. Whenever we want the other to open up, we say a code word and they have to do it after we reveal something that has been bothering us. No lies, no tricks, just the plain truth. Deal?" He gives her his right hand. It is always dangerous to make a deal with a fae, but this is Cardan, they have passed the backstabbing phase when she came back from exile. She takes his hand and shakes it.

"Deal. But we have to choose the word, something that we won't say normally."

"California." The place they went on their honeymoon instead of being on the two weeks celebrations of the Mortal Queen's victory over the serpent. The place where they were just two teenagers in love and not The Queen and King of Elhame, not the warrior and the prince, not the people with traumatic childhood, not the two broken pieces of what should be two whole people.

"Sounds great."

"I said it, so I start." He takes a deep breath and speaks. "I woke up earlier today because I had a nightmare. I wasn't someone trapped inside the snake like people like to believe, I was the snake. When the snake died, I died, even if for a few seconds." Jude takes a sharp breath, she always took comfort in the fact that she hadn't cut his head, but what was trapping him, that he hadn't felt anything. Cardan notices and takes both her hands and looks at her straight in the eyes. "I don't blame you, nor will I ever. If I say something assumimg the opposite, you have the premission to cut my head because that is not me. But as I was saying, when I saw you taking out the sword, I couldn't help but feel relief, but when you dealt the blow I, I-" another deep breath "I couldn't feel anything. I don't remember anything. I died. And that terrifies me. I was. I wasn't there. I replay that in my mind countless days, but today was so vivid, I couldn't fall back asleep, so I got out. I needed fresh air. I needed to be alone with my thoughts. I should've come back when it was time to wake up, I should've woken you, I didn't know that you needed that, but if I did, I would have done it."

They stay a few moments in silence, taking deep breaths and deep in thoughts.

"Your turn."

She wants to sugar-coat it. She wants to say that it wasn't that bad, she doesn't want to see guilt in his face even if it isn't his fault. But Cardan didn't sugar-coated when he revealed that what she did hurt him even if he knew it was going to hurt her. So instead, she says:

"Those were the worst three days of my life. I honestly thought it was going to be ok when we were negotiating with Madoc. That we won, they were going to surrender and we would be fine. Then I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe when Grimsen said that only death would save you. I went to Baphen, I went to the Old King, but all of them had the same answer. Somehow I had to rule the fucking kingdom while grieving a death that I didn't believe in. On top of all of that the court of teeths was on my throat, making plans to try to turn you and me into their puppets like their daughter. The relief that I had when I saw you alive was bigger than anything I thought I could feel, but the time between that and when I cutted the sna- your head it was my lowest. It was a hole and I was at the deep end with no way out. I cannot live without you." She stops to look at him. Look at his black hair and his eyes that look like black holes. His pale skin and his small mouth. No, she can't imagine a world without him. But that moment was close, so close. "I am so scared that I will go back to that void, I'm so scared that the universe wasn't as kind as I thought, I'm so scared to not wake up next to you."

He puts his arm around her shoulder and she puts her head on his. Jude looks up and sees tears running down Cardan's face, so she hugs him, feeling his other arm surround her. They stay silent for some time while Carden cries in Jude's shoulder and Jude just holds him close, all her tears wasted a few minutes ago.

"I'm sorry." Cardan was the one to break the silence.

"Not your fault."

"Liar."

"I wouldn't lie to you." It's the truth.

"May I remind you that you said you were fine while bawling your eyes out a few minutes ago?" OK, half true.

"When you have a nightmare, find me. I don't care if I just went to sleep, I don't care if I hadn't slept in days, I don't care if I'm not even asleep and you have to drag me out of my work, find me."

"When you feel like this is not real, find me. I don't care if you have to send someone to do it, I don't care if you run around the palace screaming my name, I don't care if I'm in the most important reunion, find me."

They break the hug to look at each other and say at the same time, "Deal".

"Sooo, do you want to have breakfast in bed and completely run away from our responsibilities?"

"We're the King and Queen of Elfhame."

"Exactly, there is no one above to stop us."

"We have an entire kingdom depending on us."

"Well, as the High King, I order you to stay in bed with me."

"As the High Queen, I'm going to refuse that order."

"Come on, you're mortal, you can say that we are sick or something." Jude's going to retaliate, but honestly? She's exhausted and spending the night in bed with her husband doesn't seem the worst idea.

"You are a horrible influence, do you know that?"

"Does that mean I win?"

She sighs. "Yes, you win."

"Yay" He says, getting up and doing a little spin like a child who was able to negotiate bedtime with their parents. She can't help but smile at his shenanigans.

Next, he does an extremely exaggerated bow and continues. "After you, my queen."

At that, she fully laughs, takes his hand and goes down the pathway with him. She hates being vulnerable, but with him, it isn't that bad. How do we take the armour off? A piece at a time. She feels like they just took another one.

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So, I had this idea since I finished Queen of Nothing and since I didn't see any fic like this I decided to make it myself. The characters may be a bit OOC, I'm not tha familiar with them. I am not a writer and my first language is not English, so apologies for any mistake. 🫶

Btw this was way bigger than I thought, no idea how many words, but damn, I'm having a brain riot.

[mineralsrocksandfossiltalks]

Throwdown Thursday

As folks who traverse the internet on a regular basis we have all come across people who have somehow managed to miss every scientific advancement made in the last century (or more) and just refuse to accept they are on the losing end of their own arguments. So, how do you handle these people?

Well, the most important thing is to NOT try and convince them you are right and they are wrong. In the following screenshots, you will see bits of a conversation on a tiktok video of someone I follow meant to adress this comment made on another of his videos. I won't show the whole conversation because, frankly, it's ridiculously long and shouldn't be but the poor person trying to refute him didn't know how to just...well, let the guy live in oblivion. They tried the poor thing.

Anyway, let's dive in with his initial comment:

I bet you can see where this is going. The video was a brilliant explanation on taxonomy and how we classify animals now (we no longer use Linnean classification as genetics have proven it simply doesn't work).

Now, this same commenter turned up in the comments to the new video with more biting stubbornness and some poor soul tried to make him see reason but I could tell from the start this guy wasn't gonna budge. So, how do you deal with someone who won't accept the facts? Use their own methods against them. Here's how you would approach some of the statements and questions this person puts forth in this insanely long debate.

Let's start with his original comment: reptiles never turned into birds.

Where is your proof? How do you know that statement is false? Can you prove it's false? Or, you can use his own words:

Now, for his first comment on the new post, I think oblivion nailed it. Stating that his one and only example of what differences there are is not a solid defense of his statement. You would then ask if he had other, more irrefutable examples and go from there.

Again, use his own words: "Since you won't accept the evidence fibsh has already put forth, what do you consider 'real evidence'?" Or maybe "What real evidence is there that you are related to you 100th great grandfather besides some written word?"

This one we don't answer with a question, more of a statement. Something like "well, yeah, everything has been interpreted by 'some guy'. A well known example is the Bible.

There's lots that can be brought up here like a list of mesotherms (animals that are neither warm or cold blooded but somewhere in between) such as crocodiles, tegus (technically a warm blooded lizard but I am tossing it in for funsies), leatherback sea turtles, tuna, great white sharks, some species of bees, naked mole rats, hyraxes, echidnas. Notice none of these are all in one group. We have "reptiles", fish, insects and mammals all listed. This just goes to show that body temp is not a good way to classify animals.

However, a guy like this will probably use his favorite catch phrase in this conversation:

Reptiles also are not the only animals to have scales. What about fish? Butterflies? Pangolins?

He claims that you can't use scales as a grounds for relationship (even though he just said all reptiles exclusively had scales) so then ask him "what is a ground for a relationship then?" Make him explain his statement.

This one can be a bit tongue-and-cheek: hell yeah, we're both mammals so we are distantly related. Don't even acknowledge the rest. Agreeing with their statement will confuse the stubborn soul.

Two things I can say to this, one using his own arguments:

Fact: it is your opinion that evolution is an opinion. Give me evidence to back up your claim.

Again, what proves a relationship?

Three times he makes exceptions to this unspoken rule (we think he's using Linnean reasoning but it's a bit hard to tell as he kind of goes all over the place). So I would ask "How many exceptions can be made before the rule is considered invalid?"

Continuing on from his first exception he asks:

So, what do you do when they ask for an answer after arguing a bunch?

"Why? You've haven't accepted any of the other viable scientific evidence given why would this instance be any different?"

I mean, you look like your family, don't you? (And yes, I am including extended family and ancestors) Where is your evidence that you can't know something had offspring? We can only trace human DNA back 10 generations so how to we know they reproduced beyond that? Oh...right, we all exist. (Sarcastic line probably should be left out but I couldn't help myself).

By that logic, identical twins would be considered the same person.

You...you recognize this and don't see ANY connection...AT ALL? And to the second point:

Of course, when he does actually use this he doesn't give any evidence to back up any of his arguments so...bring that up as much as possible.

I thought evolution was pseudoscience. Or only when it doesn't support your opinion?

You weren't alive in the 1940's to collect data so did the Holocaust actually happen then?

What proof do you have? They aren't even attached to anything...(hint, he things they need them to mate).

Then explain why gharials looks so different from all the other crocs.

Do you know what an expert is? It is the opposite of an amateur...which is what you are.

Oh boy...wait till you find out about Mandarin Ducks (they can't breed with other ducks).

It keeps going so if you are interested in seeing the full conversation here is the link:

Anyway, good luck with the tough cookies and remember it's not about being right. It's about making them eat their words.

[specialagentlokitty]

Gibbs x Autistic!reader - information specialist

could you do another autistic reader one where your gibbs kid? maybe you're infodumping about something related to the case and the team is asking questions and encouraging you to keep talking? - Anon💜

Sitting at your desk, you were filling some paperwork in for a case that you had just been on, blocking out all the noises from the bullpen with your headphones.

You could see Tony, Ziva, McGee and Gibbs all stood around the screen next to your desk, and you pushed your headphones back slightly.

“It makes no sense, all the murders are different, how can they be connect McGee?” Tony snapped.

“Well there’s no way it’s different people!” Ziva huffed.

“It has to be a group at least!” McGee said.

You turned to the screen, looking at the different victims faces, as well as what little information they had regarding the victims deaths.

“Thoughts (Y/N)?” Gibbs asked.

You looked over and stood up, walking over too took the case file and flicked through it.

“Can you get me their medicals McGee?” You asked.

“Sure? But why?” He asked.

He sat at his computer and you walked over, standing behind him with your arms across over your chest.

“Tony how did they die?

“Buried alive, drowning, parachute failure, burning home, alcohol overdose, car crash.”

You nodded your head and watched as McGee pulled up all their files.

He got up and let you sit down, letting you read through them all.

“What is it?” Ziva asked.

“Well these are curious ways to die don’t you think? Five of these six could be put down as accidents, but in such a short time frame? Not likely, especially when all all six were on the same base, and part of the same squad.”

You pulled something up on the screen, showing them a group photo which held about twenty men and women.

“Are these all targets?” Gibbs asked you.

“No, only these ten.”

You pulled up individual photos of the men and women and stood up, giving their name and what they were afraid of.

“So? They’re scared of things?” Tony scoffed.

Rolling your eyes, you shook your head at him.

“No, they all suffer with paralysing phobias, all of which have been referred to get psychological help for. The same man who has been helping your victims, is helping each one of these soldiers.”

“So there will be more?”

“Oh yes, except the psychologist is using an alias, everything you have on system about him isn’t who he is. He earns the trust of those under his care before using their very fears against them, there was a common belief many years ago, which some still stand by today, that in order to beat your fears you must face them.”

“So he would make them face their fears.” Gibbs said.

“Exactly, he’d make them face them slowly, before eventually putting them to the test and trapping them inside that fear. If they can get out, they’re deemed healed, if not then they’re seen as not worthy. It’s a kind of complex the doctor has, he has to play god, decide who is worthy or not. He gives them everything they need to face their fears, all the advice and help they could ask for in order to tackle it, but the fear is so paralysing, so strong, they freeze, they let that fear take over them once again.”

“Who’s next?” Ziva asked.

Humming, you looked at the bored, your finger hovering over all the photos before you finally pointed at a woman.

“Her.”

“Why her?” Gibbs asked.

“Because she’s about to be deployed, she he’s about to loose his chance and so called treating her. Her next session is in three hours and her phobia is snakes.”

“So how do we find her?”

“Simple, look for the records of large shipments of reptiles, it’ll be somewhere away from people, somewhere to contain the animals and her. Oh, and these snakes will be poisonous so be careful.”

With that, you sat back down and put your headphones back over your ears while the others stared at you in shock.

“Well! You hear them, get to work!” Gibbs snapped.

The team rushed to find what they can, running in the clock they didn’t have much time left, and you had given them all the help they could possibly ask for.

Gibbs grabbed a map from his desk, placing it over yous, and without looking you circled a few spots for him.

“Thanks kid.”

He kissed your head and slammed the map on McGees desk, barking at him to look into the spots before running out of the bullpen to find Vance.

If they were going to be tackling something this big, they’d need all the help they could get

[codenamehazard]

InFAMOUS Theory: The Origin of the Conduit Gene

Genetics; the study of genes, genetic variation and heredity in organisms. A study that records the wonderfully complex and rich tapestry that is Life all the way back to the first things that had DNA and RNA. Records of a history rich in trials and tribulations of billions of species, all fighting to find their niche in the ecosystem so they may survive and thrive, to pass on their genes to the next generation. A truly beautiful field of science.

With Earth being the death-planet it is, constantly trying to kill its inhabitants one way or another. Ever since the beginning of Life, organisms fought like hell to eke out a living. To continue on and not become the fuel for something else’s survival. Time marches on- environments change, become hostile for some and an Eden for others. For any to survive, they must adapt, and to adapt, mutations happen. Some mutations were beneficial, allowing the organism to survive better or adapt to the new environment. Some were neutral, neither help nor hindrance. Some were detrimental, harming the species’ chances for survival. As organisms adapt and change, nature does what it does best: weeds out the garden of Life. Those that adapted enough to survive and reproduce continued on, their genes successfully passed down. Those who didn’t went extinct; a dead end of that particular lineage.

We know somewhere in this tapestry, the Conduit gene would arise and sow the seeds of the Prime Conduits who would shape the world, for better or for worse, but we don’t know the why, the how, the when or the history of a gene that turns humans into demi-gods.

With this theory, I hope to maybe answer those questions in a way that makes sense.

—---

Let’s start with what we know.

The Conduit gene is a naturally occurring, recessive gene that is dormant at birth, but when activated can give one incredible powers. In a semi-populated area, one in every 16 people will be a carrier of the Conduit gene. The gene is also carried by rats and chimpanzees and the gene also creates a physical characteristic that only certain individuals (namely John White aka The Beast and Cole MacGrath after John gave him the ability) can see. This physical characteristic is seen as a glowing yellow nerve-like bundle in the chest, near the spinal cord.

Another thing of note is that even before activation, a Conduit positive individual seems to have higher than average durability, the prime example being Cole’s accident with a freight truck prior to the events of InFAMOUS. The accident should have at the least permanently disabled him, if not outright killed him, but he survived the accident with only minor injuries.

Three activation methods have been seen, Ray Sphere detonation, an unknown method used on Lucy Kuo for her activation, and extreme environmental stress. 

—--

Now, onto the theory.

With rodents and primates both having the gene, it stands to reason that this gene would go back at least as far as the closest common ancestor shared by both mammal types. Such ancestors dating back into the Cretaceous Period, the Age of the Dinosaurs.

Now in this ancient past, Earth was a very different place, not only in environment, but also in composition. Among the stones and minerals found in this saurian eden was a curious metallic ore that glowed with a faint purple light. These curious veins were natural Rayacite, the scientific name for Blast Shards. All decaying away with their Ray Field Radiation. These Rayacite ores weren’t much different than finding Uranium out in nature

Most animals didn’t seem bothered, dinosaurs, insects, reptiles, all appeared unbothered… Save for one group. Mammals.

Mammals were affected negatively, falling sick and dying off. The only thing that gave them any hope was to live the fast-growing, short-living, make as many offspring as possible lives of rodents in order to survive giant feet, giant bugs, hungry protobirds and the Ray Field Plague.

However… Something started to happen, a mutation that made the early mammals more resistant against this radiation, allowing them to live healthier for longer. Those with this odd mutation were naturally able to get more mates and have more offspring. The lucky offspring that got this mutation were also healthier. Nature runs its course and those with this mutation started to propagate more, outcompeting the others that didn't have this gene.

Time goes on and mutations continued to happen, some good, some bad, but over time, this gene continued to evolve. Longer lives, more resistance, hardier bodies where a Purgatorius could shrug off being stomped on with... Relatively minor injuries. Maybe some of the mammals started to be drawn to the natural Rayacite, maybe not. Somewhere on this evolutionary trip, a big mutation happened that made this proto-Conduit gene into something more akin to the modern day Conduit Gene.

(There maaaaaay or may not have been super-powered shew-monkey things running amok during the time of the T-Rex or maybe proper activations happened later, but I'm sticking with that because the thought of super-powered rodent-monkey mammals terrorizing creatures like Velociraptors and it is quite the funny picture.)

Able to chase off predators and defend their territories, these super-powered mammals made ideal mates, those genes got passed on and for a long time, the ancient Conduit Gene was dominant.

As the Euarchontoglires began to split into the clades that would give rise to rodents, lagomorphs, treeshrews, colugos and primates, these new mammals would be bequeathed with this ancient and powerful gene.

The world continued to change and shift, and life continued on as normal. Even with the odd superpowered mammals running around doing mammal things.

The true chaos begins when the primates start to walk upright and use fire. Brains becoming smarter and more clever, any active Conduits among them start to experiment with their powers. Such power to protect and hunt, these actives most likely became seen as de-facto leaders in their tribes and hunting packs.These ancestral humans continued on their path, becoming smarter, creating languages, cultures and mythologies. The active Conduits of their respective clans were probably seen as god-like beings or being blessed by gods or spirits.

Somewhere along the way, these early humans discovered Rayacite and with it, the potential to awaken Conduits and strengthen those already active. Creating many a ritual to become one of the divine or the blessed, to awaken their powers. Their reasons their own.

Legends continued as language evolved too. Spoken to written. Stories told, art created, all chronicling the stories of these gods in human flesh. Sadly, with such power, corruption is a constant temptation and as humanity evolved and their understanding of their gifts and the strange glowing metal that increases their power, a heavy cloud started to loom overhead.

People started to become greedy.

Some of the ancient Conduits discovered that they could become truly god-like in power and form, making it so that they were practically untouchable and immortal- but such power came with a heavy price. They had to subsist on RFR for without it, their bodies would fall apart and decay.

Like many of Earth’s natural resources, these natural Blast Shards and the radiation they bled into the environment was a finite source. Sure, at first there was plenty to go around, everyone could get their share. Even the gluttons could gorge, but like all finite materials, they started to run low. What do the greedy do when the supply runs low?

They go to war, and what terrible wars they were. These so-called gods sent armies, both human and Conduit alike, to fight. Calling such wars divine. Many lives lost, the Earth bled and wept as these armies fought. So terrible were these wars, it scarred humanity. The Conduits, once respected and honored, now became feared and hated. Those who were called gods and saviors now became the monsters that stalked nightmares and brought ruin.

But even in this nightmare, something had begun to change. As the gluttons drained the RFR away, the plague that had haunted humanity ever since their dinosaur days started to disappear, mutations happened and children were being born without the Conduit gene and they survived plague free. So as the "Old Gods" started to die as there was not enough RFR to sustain their bodies, those that lived in fear retaliated against the weaker Conduits, hunting them down as monsters.

What once was a boon was now a bane as the powerless hunted the powered. While even the weakest of Conduits could overpower a single man, they were quickly overrun by the numbers. Nature seemed to be forcing this gene into obselation, but some Conduits got smart and  hid their powers away.

The less they used the powers, the more muted they became, allowing these clever ones to hide away among the normals. These "mute'' Conduits still kept their durability and were still ideal mates, animalistically speaking. Through them, the Conduit gene was passed on.

These children were now mingling with non-Conduit humans, growing up and having children, both normal and positives. With the plague not a worry, there was no need for the Conduit Gene to be so... Up front.

And so the gene fell dormant, recessive and uncommon. Silently being pasted on from parent to child. Without the world being an irradiated hellhole, people who did have this sleeping gene in them went about their entire lives without even knowing just what kind of potential they had. Living regular human lives, being no different from their peers aside from being much more hardy.

And this was how life went on... Until Empire City and the Ray Sphere blast.

--------

I'd love to give a big shout out to @rogueshadeaux for helping me out with proofreading. She gave me a lot of pointers and I truly appreciate the help! Give her fanfic, InFAMOUS: Erosion, a read! She's a very talented writer and deserves all the attention and praise!

[fandomsandfeminism]

@crazychooklady they ARE the tortoises from Zoo Tycoon 2! Also known as African Spurred tortoises.

So, these guys aren't as mean as iguanas are, but they have a similar underlying issue:

1. They are very cute and small as babies, but eventually grow to be the THIRD LARGEST TORTOISE SPECIES ON EARTH.

2. Because of this (and the fact that they live to be 70+), their care is *pretty extensive.* If you live in the south and have a big yard (with shade and water and REINFORCED FENCE that goes into the ground)- they can be kept outside. But they need heat, they can burrow like a bulldozer or a Badger mole, and they eat a *lot* of salad.

They, like all reptiles, have specific diet needs. Their shells will deform if they get too much protein, their bones will turn to mush if they don't get enough calcium, and they get respiratory infections if the humidity is too high.

Despite being *slow* tortoises like to move- they motor around all day long and try to dig their way through or climb over anything in their way. They are NOT inactive little rocks- they need space.

Literally just how they are.

3. They lay a LOT of eggs. We are talking 20+ eggs per clutch, with potentially multiple clutches a year. This means that, in the right circles (wrong circles)- sulcata babies are sold very cheap and with very few questions. Because maybe you can comfortably house 2 sulcatas. But you can't house 22 or 42 or 62 sulcatas. And how many people in your area do you think will pay a lot for a tortoise AND have the means to care for one? Not 62 I'll bet. So you got to sell off those little suckers fast to anyone who will take them before they get too big for your house. I've seen them run around $40 at expos.

They have started to become invasive- not as widespread or dramatic as iguanas, but more and more they are turning up in places they shouldn't be and threaten local tortoises through competition.

They aren't as aggressive as iguanas and they aren't arboreal, so points there. But an adult will weigh 100+ pounds and has the ability to cause serious property damage if it wants to go somewhere and a poorly constructed fence, door, or wall is in their way.

All of this means that reptile sanctuaries are *swamped* with them. They get dumped all the time, and people who generally get a new one will find a cheap baby at a reptile store or expo long before they look into local rescues.

I'm a firm believer that reptiles are incredible pets. But they also require research and care that goes beyond a cat or dog. And they *deserve* good care. So super irresponsible pet trade nonsense like this just makes me furious.

[voidsentprinces]

I continue poorly explain ffxiv

Welcome back to Final Fantasy XIV or as I like to call it Fantasia Character Rotissiere. Last time we fought secondary dragon satan who possessed the unwashed elf boy that is Estinyan. Saved our baby boy’s sister from being assassinated by Identity Fraud and his gang of back up dancers and watched our one true boy Papalymo sacrifice himself to stop another calamity. So naturally Spike from Buffy the Vampire shows up and convinces us to activate an alien super weapon to break our boy’s sealing spell and we’re like SIGN US THE FUCK UP! So naturally after that happens a new war begins between the Eorzean Alliance and the Garlic Jr. Empire cause Garlic died last time and there was a civil war but we didn’t see it. All you need to know is Blond Alan Rickman is now the Emperor and his right hand man is...still probably on those floating islands safe and sound and is still very much alive because I unlocked Aurum Vale for roulette and I am unlocking nothing else that is essential to progress that isn’t MSQ. Where was I? Oh yes, Ala Mhigo which lies somewhere between the Red Wood Forest and Death Valley. Whose people are subjigated by the Garlic Empire. The time has come to free them and by free them I mean get told off by the local populace fight an angry scottish woman and then get one shot by Rocky from the Horror Picture show if he was ten feet tall and carried a golf bag of SWORDS! So many swords he probably swipes left if you’re not at least metallic and SHARP! But enough about that, Al Pacino has the bright idea that in order to free Ala Mhigo we first must free Doma who is under the same rule as Ala Mhigo working with the same exact problems Ala Mhigo does but I am sure this will turn out just find. So after black mailing Captain Elf Sparrow, we send Al Pacino where he belongs. Into a ghost graveyard and we leave his ass there because now its time to arrive at Kugane, where we’ll attempt to climb a tower for five minutes, get pissed by invisible collision boxes, log out and swear we’ll never play this stupid fucking game ever again. But the game knows you’ll be back, YOU’LL BE BACK! So we start up Genshin Imp--hahaha fuck no, log the fuck back in we got a catfish to punch, an old samurai to save, and the lost Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle to save all while running away from the POLICE! And what better way to evade arrest than to flee the fucking country so out into the Ruby Sea we go, which is controlled by the Confederacy. Don’t worry its not the racist one its the pirating one. But I hope you like swimming because you’ll be doggy paddling back and forth between these small islands for about 2 hours before we are hooked up with DIVING! So come visit the Ruby Sea. We got manta rays, grotesque demon walruses, an armored turtle with a giant fuck off sword and getting STEPPED ON by an angry woman who I am 20% spends half her scene time smoking opium. Don’t worry though despite the Garlic Empire being a big problem they’re not so much a big problem that you and the Scooby Gang can’t handle them. In fact we can handle them so well we only get our asses kicked by the giant top heavy Ken doll ONE more time before we’re allowed into the LIZARD KINGDOM. Where reptiles roam the earth and every single one of them want to kill you. So like Heracles we have to do a bunch of tasks to win their trusts like breaking into their sacred holy ground and stealing their parrow, picking unwater sea kress, and talking to Sadu Dotharl the baddest motherfucker this side of the Hildibrand questline. Seriously if you ever wished you could be a crater on the ground, this woman will GRANT THAT FUCKING WISH! Sorry where was I. Oh yeah, after descrating their holy ground we are invited to a blood contest to choose their next leader so naturally falls to you and your first decree is maybe show up to class when the Garlics are ready to rumble. Cause if you don’t well...this entire trip was completely utterly useless. Lets just blow up the castle and call it a day--actually we kind really do just blow up the castle in the process of freeing Doma. Who knew the only thing you needed to do to win a revolutionary war was raise up an army of dragon people and causing FLOOD DAMAGE to the Historical District. Don’t think too much about it because now that we’ve TOTALLY freed Doma from the iron fist of the Garlics its time to go back to Ala Mhigo...despite there...still be an entire empire out there that will definitely reinforce their lost territory but don’t worry about it. They don’t seem the type to just level an entire territory on at the slightest scent of revolution anywhere else...right? Anyway after crossing the sea and remember Alphinaud exists, we return to Ala Mhigo with none of the Doman army to back us up and we...actually do very well. We run into Braveheart again but its alright she just pisses off the snake people and summons a GIANT WOMAN TO ENSLAVE US WHEN WE SLEEP! So after knocking that one out of the park. Rock the Ken Doll arrives and decides he likes us blowing up buildings so much he’s going to give Fordola a cannon. And blow us to kingdom come...and thus ends our life in Final Fantasy XI--I am fucking kidding Estinien comes back and ONE SHOTS A FUCKING CANNON! If you think that sounds dumb, it isn’t it is the most awesome thing ever. Imagine watching a War Documentary where after the battle of Gettsyberg, the ghost of George Washington juiced up on the blood of Satan got into fist fight with a tank and WON! It is EXACTLY as awesome as I just described and will be taking no criticism at this time because after a wardrobe change for Yda definitely Yda, she is definitely Yda don’t worry about it she would Lyse to you now would she? We go to the Lochs. Where we take in the sights, get caught by border patrol, beat the Guinness World Record for longest breath ever held, listen to a soldier talk about getting the BEST head ever before killing him and his comrades and facing off against a woman I am surprise isn’t wearing 20 belts and using some healing crystals to give her a migraine. All in the name of saving Krile who will DEFINITELY give us black mail material so we can hold Alphinaud hostage. Sorry, I meant we’re going with Alphinaud to fight a bunch of Samurai wolves and if you think that sounds awesome, you’re kind of fucking right. After punching them so hard PETA is probably going to ram a jeep into my front room, we kick open the door, fight through the streets of another castle and whoa would you look at that Doma finally shows up to give us aerial support...like...at the last fucking minute seriously we re-capture 99.9% and Doma comes in acting like its 0.01% is going to get us the A+ on the project. Anyway, all you really need to know is Ken turned into a DRAGON and we fight on a convinently placed platform in the sky before he kills himself and we play the National Anthem....seriously what the fuck did I just pl

[activatebutterflyshield]

Animals and some lore from Layer Epsilon, a magic post-apocalypse setting. Transcription of my terrible handwriting and lore under the cut, as always.

Transcriptions first!

First is a strange vulpine native to Geometric Zones, the ‘boxfox’. Sharp & angular, these beasts live only in the strange, desert-like Geometric Zones where their boxy silhouettes aren’t out of the ordinary.

Next is the most common lupine inhabitant of Brimstone Zones, the ‘long wolf’. Strangly thin, these fire furred beasts are common in Brimstone Zones. Large ears help release heat in the scorching sun, and long legs allow them to run great distances in the night.

Below is the Cloud Zone avian known as a ‘fog crane’. Rarely seen, these tall birds can seem to fade into the landscape of their native Cloud Zones.

In the center is the Permafrost Zone feline named the ‘wooly lion’. Silent beasts with thick fur and giant paws, these are the only felines one can find within Permafrost Zones.

To the right is the Ruin Zone dwelling reptile called ‘pottery-rattler’. These beasts are among the few one can find within Ruin Zones that are not bones.

And last but not least is the strange ruminant that lives in Asphalt Zones, the ‘stalker hooves’. Perhaps the oddest relative of the deer, these beasts dwell in abandoned cities, now known as Asphalt Zones.

-

Lore time!

Layer Epsilon is a reality that was subjected to a strange and unknowable magical apocalypse known as the Buckle. The Buckle, sometimes known as the Shattering or the Shifting, was a planet-wide (maybe even galaxy-wide) event where everything just changed, on account of a new material that rained from holes in the sky, that bubbled up from the ocean and exploded from breaths. A material called Æther.

This Æther seems to randomly change things in an infinite number of different ways; a city hit by Æther rain may melt, or catch fire, or fall into the earth, or simply vanish. If a dog touches Æther, it may begin walking upright and speaking french, it may turn into a potted plant, or it may open a portal to somewhere else and drag in who knows what. It is theorized that such Æther portals let in the dinosaurs and proto-humans and zeppelins and dragons to this reality.

Of course, the world has been changed greatly by the Buckle. Mountain ranges have become massive canyons, rivers flow with crude oil and tree sap, deserts are now made of ash and forests of mushrooms, and whole seas have inverted. The surviving people of Layer Epsilon call these changed places Zones, with different categories for different anomalies. For example, Geometric Zones feature plain ground and massive abstract forms instead of plants, Brimstones are hot, red, deadly, and on fire, and Abyssals are eternally dark and wet and strange.

Somehow, the mere fact that these Zones were made by Æther allowed their animal inhabitants to change along with them, becoming strangely suited to their new homes, as if the material felt bad for them loosing their old ones.

[firstlessdangerouseye]

Oc world notes for me and anyone else who would find it interesting

Nature of mana/magic: physical element? Molecule? Thing that is highly volatile influenced by the surrounding environment very easily to the point that the only time most things would ever see pure mana is if all its impurities have been manually processed out or if someone/something has a "pure" mana type. Mana ranges between many different colors depending on what variation it is. Pure mana is a light cyan very glowy, light mana is white with yellow tint, dark mana is pitch black with purple tint, mana types will be gone into more depth maybe later. The physical "non miraculous" properties of mana are solid: relatively unstable least common of the three main states(plasma is ✨️special✨️) since mana in large enough quantities to solidify is typically consumed by something or destroys most of the surroundings via mana being pretty unstable in large uncontrolled samples liquid: not super unstable but most prone to phase change which can fuck things up most often found inside most living things i.e. eukaryotes. Used to cast mana, most observe state, viscosity is somewhere between honey and used motor oil, sticks like hot white phosphorus gas: most common, most stable relatively speaking (can and will fuck you up especially some of the more exotic mana types) difficult to observe directly as it makes up roughly 2.9% of the atmosphere it is odorless and colorless to all but most invertebrates and several reptiles like mana types group together which in turn changes the environment this occurs most commonly with gas plasma: no this shit might have been forged In stars but that does not make it safe mana plasma will tear space apart do not touch

Soul: the organ in animals that also have a heart and lungs that processes mana for use the soul has some variance in where it is placed most often the chest cavity near yet distinct from the heart, may also appear next/attaches to the appendix(when there is one) though these cases most commonly result in either severe appendicitis in the early teens and/or severe mana deficiency. This is becaus the body obtains typically mana through the air or food and most food isn't suffused with mana(except for like grazers who eat a fuckton of food or apex predators cause bioaccumulation or biomagnification) anyways the soul works to pump mana around the body, like a heart except it also let's bitches be witches and also extends the "human" lifespan to like commonly get to 100-120 and longer lived folk can get to 140s

Spirit: a "footprint" of something with both great mana and at least human intelligence basically it's the echos of someone who had lots of magic. Not a ghost in that it is fully conscious and aware of what it was and what it has become. Not usually too distressed though they often enjoy pranking people, ie causing out of body experiences, mostly psychedelic stuff

I'll post more if the monkeys deign to type cohesive again

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 108: Ideal (Happy Birthday, Harry Potter)

Harry hadn’t had very many good birthdays.

Somehow, in spite of that fact, he’d imagined that his 19th birthday would be different. Last year, on his 18th birthday, when they’d spent the day rebuilding Hogwarts, Harry had reflected on his many terrible birthdays and told himself that 18 would be the last bad one. He’d told himself that on his 19th birthday there would be a party, he’d have his friends around him, and maybe just for that one day, they could forget everything bad and just have fun.

But now he was single, living in muggle London, without any friends nearby, and without any happy plans in place. He decided that he had to do something today, there must be something that could make his birthday not quite so glum.

He set off toward a coffee shop a few blocks from his house and ran smack into a door as a woman was coming out. She apologized but Harry was too distracted by what he saw inside of the store. From where he stood he could see reptiles, and birds, and he thought he could make out cats in the corner, and somewhere there was the faint sound of puppies yipping.

Waving the woman off he entered the animal shelter, feeling like might have found something good after all. He wandered in; first past the birds, then the reptiles, then to the kittens and full-grown cats. He paused with the cats for a little while, trailing his fingers along their cages and talking to them softly. Then he moved past them to the dogs and puppies.

There had to be about 10 altogether, different breeds and types, some sleeping, some playing together, some just wandering about sniffing. Several came charging over to the edge of their pen when they saw him, wagging their tails eagerly and he just knew. He looked up and waved to a sales associate who was straightening some pet supplies. “Sorry, I just wonder if I could meet some of the dogs?”

“Oh, sure!” she replied brightly. “Draco is on the dogs today, I’ll call him over. Just a mo.”

That was an odd name, Harry thought, it must be a coincidence. Surely Draco Malfoy wouldn’t be working in a Muggle Animal Shelter of all places. It was preposterous. Yet a moment later he heard a voice he’d recognize anywhere, “Sir, is there something I can help you with?”

Harry’s jaw dropped and he turned to look at the boy who had been his nemesis for several years, “Malfoy?” he asked incredulously, yet somehow he couldn't find it in himself to be surprised. It was his birthday after all.

(Read more below the cut)

“Potter? What in Merlin’s name are you doing here?”

“Oh, you boys know each other?” Annie asked with a wide smile.

“Uh,” Harry said inarticulately even as Malfoy said, “Yes, we went to school together.”

“Oh, it’s always nice to run into old friends!” she exclaimed. “Well, I’ll just leave you two to catch up and to find this young man a puppy!”

“You’re here to adopt a puppy?” Malfoy asked incredulously.

“Or a grown-up dog,” Harry replied defensively, feeling like this sort of luck was quite typical of his birthdays.

“And you just happened to show up at the one shelter in all of London that I work at?”

“Well, it’s not like I knew you worked here. It’s my birthday and I just wanted one happy thing-”

“A dog is a big commitment. It’s not just something you decide you want one day then discard the next.”

“I know that!” he protested. “And I want a commitment. I want something to love and take care of, something that loves me in return. I want something that is there all the time.”

Malfoy stared at him for a long moment. “Alright. What kind of dog are you looking for?”

“I don’t know. I thought maybe I could meet them and then I’d know which one was the right one.”

“Trust me, Potter, if you do it that way you’ll take home 5 dogs.”

“Maybe I want five dogs,” Harry said stubbornly. “It’s not like I’ve got anything else on at the moment.”

Malfoy snorted, “Have you ever owned a dog, Potter?”

“No,” Harry replied. “Have you?”

“No,” Malfoy said. “For one thing I’m not allowed to have them in my flat and for another, I don’t have the time and energy for a dog. Dogs are a lot of work and I’m not saying you can’t do it,” he said, as Harry opened his mouth to protest. “I’m just saying, maybe you should start with one dog.”

Harry frowned but it did make sense, he supposed.

“Come on, Potter, tell me about your ideal dog and I’ll still let you meet all of them,” he said as he started toward the back. When Harry didn’t follow he said, “Come on, you can’t meet them out there.”

Harry followed him through a door that led behind the glass.

“So, when you imagine your perfect dog, do you think you want a dog with a lot of energy or that’s a little more lowkey?”

“Umm,” Harry said, imagining that he’d like a dog who wanted to play but also thinking of how hard some days were. “Maybe a little lower energy, but one that would still like taking walks and want to play a little bit each day.”

“Well, most of our dogs will want to play at least a little bit here and there,” he replied. “So meet Artemis first,” he said, as he went into the area all of the dogs were in and led one dog out. “She is not for you,” he said as the dog bounded over to Harry and Harry knelt down to pet her. She licked his face and put her paws up on his shoulders to sniff his hair.

“Why isn’t she for me?” he asked, tipping his head up to avoid being licked in the mouth. “Hi Artemis,” he said. “Hello, beautiful girl,” he said as he stroked her sides, combing through her soft fur. “You’re a lovie, aren’t you?”

“She is,” Malfoy confirmed, rubbing her head between her ears. “But our Artemis is part Australian Cattle Dog which means she is very high energy. She needs to run every day regardless of the weather and she needs a lot of stimulation. She is a very smart girl and there will be a perfect home for her, but you aren’t it.”

“But I like her,” Harry said, wrestling with her a little bit.

“You’ll like lots of them,” he said. “I promise.” Then he added, “And if she is your favorite, there’s nothing saying she can’t come back out so you can have her.”

“Alright,” Harry agreed reluctantly.

“Alright,” Malfoy repeated. “So that’s Artemis, you can meet Pontus next,” he said, before calling Artemis back to the playroom where the other dogs were. “Pontus isn’t completely trained yet, we’re still working with him on basic commands, so I’ll just have to go in and get him.”

Harry nodded and sat back on his heels to wait, a moment later a huge dog came out, panting and dragging Malfoy behind him.

“Pontus,” Malfoy said reprovingly.

Harry couldn’t help but laugh as the dog barreled into him and knocked him off his feet with a couple of raucous barks. He pinned Harry’s shoulders to the floor and licked his face quite thoroughly, butting his glasses completely off his face. “Hey, boy,” Harry managed, pushing at his broad chest so he could sit up.

Malfoy was tugging at the dog’s collar, seemingly to no avail. Finally, between the two of them, they got him enough off of Harry that he could sit up.

“Well, hello to you, too, handsome,” Harry said with a chuckle as he scratched behind his ears and Pontus tried to sit in his lap.

“Pontus is very sweet but he is an oaf,” Malfoy said as he brushed his hair back out of his face. “He is part American Pitbull and part something huge and dumb. We can’t quite figure him out.”

“He’s a nice boy,” Harry said as Pontus tried to chew on a bit of Harry’s fringe.

“No,” Malfoy reprimanded the dog, tugging him back from Harry. “Yes, he is, but he needs a firm hand, Potter, and you are too soft. Once he’s trained a little bit he’ll be a very good boy but you just let him eat your hair so you’re definitely not his.”

“Yeah,” Harry said, patting the dog’s side. “I think you’re probably right.”

“Did you hit your head on the floor when he knocked you over?”

“Not really,” Harry said as he reached back to rub the back of his head and Pontus butted him to get him to keep petting him, “Yes, alright, you demanding thing,” he said with a chuckle. “Why do you ask?”

“Well because you admitted I was right and it didn’t seem to hurt you even a little bit.”

Harry laughed, “You’re a git. I’ll have you know it didn’t hurt me one bit.”

“My, my,” Malfoy said with a small smile, “Is this what we call character development?”

“Yes, I see you,” Harry said as Pontus flopped over onto his back on top of Harry’s legs so he could rub his belly.

“He likes you,” Malfoy said with a grin.

Harry looked up at him, “He seems pretty friendly, Malfoy. I bet he likes everyone.”

Malfoy shrugged one annoyingly elegant shoulder, “Not really. He’s usually not too keen on men, in fact.”

“And you let him all but attack me?” Harry asked in mock offense. “I mean, I know you don’t like me, Malfoy, but killing me seems a little much.”

Malfoy rolled his eyes, “He doesn’t attack people. It’s a common misconception about his breed. It’s all about how they are raised and trained, just like it is with every dog. Except possibly chihuahuas.”

Harry laughed, “I don’t know anything about his breed,” he said honestly. “I just meant that he tackled me to the floor pretty quickly.”

“Yes,” he said, “But when Pontus doesn’t like someone he cowers from them, he doesn’t attack them. He will do whatever he can to put as much distance and as many obstacles as he can between him and the person he’s afraid of.”

“Well, I think he’s sweet,” Harry said, his heart in his throat at the thought of this poor dog being so afraid. “Maybe I could adopt him-” he started.

“Oh no you don’t,” Malfoy said and he leaned down and grasped Pontus’ collar once more. “His person will come and in the meantime, he will have us to look after him. He is not the dog for you; he will wreck your entire house and you’ll let him. He deserves a family who will train him and teach him to be a good boy because he wants to be a good boy.”

Pontus stood up and wagged his tail at Malfoy, slapping Harry across the face. “Ow!” Harry said, shoving at Pontus’ rear end, “Stop hitting me with your tail. That hurts!”

“His tail is very strong,” Malfoy said with a chuckle, “Come on you,” he said to Pontus, “You can go back and play.”

A moment later he came back in, carrying a squirmy puppy in his arms. Harry reached out for it immediately, “Hello,” he cooed at it as the pup started to sniff him.

“This is Caerus,” he said. “He’s a beagle mix, which is quite obvious by his love of sniffing and by his sweet floppy ears.”

“Hi Caerus,” Harry said, holding him up so they were nose to nose, “You are very cute. Yes, you are.”

“He’s just going up for adoption,” Malfoy said. “He was a little touch-and-go for a while, his brother and sisters all died. He was in a very unsafe situation when we found him and we really didn’t know if he’d make it or not, but he’s a fighter.”

He squirmed to get down and Harry set him on the floor and he took off sniffing around the room they were in, following his nose.

“He will have no trouble being adopted. He is young and adorable, and people love puppies.”

“He is really cute,” Harry said as he watched him run around. “But he’s not for me.”

“I agree,” he replied.

“Why?”

“Oh, you’re looking for someone who’s a real rescue.”

“What does that even mean?” Harry asked.

Malfoy watched the little dog walking around the room, investigating and sniffing as he said, “It means that you have a hero complex, Potter, which I can’t even blame you for because you were raised to have one. But you want to rescue a dog who’s come from a rough life and knows it. You want a dog that will love you unconditionally and whose sun rises and sets with you.”

“Well-” Harry started, feeling a little defensive.

“That wasn’t a criticism,” Malfoy said quickly. “It’s a good thing. It means that you want to really bond with your dog and vice versa. Frankly, you’ll be a great pet parent.”

“Err,” Harry said inarticulately. “Thanks, Malfoy.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said with another one of those shrugs. “Besides, you’re not cut out to train a puppy.”

Harry laughed, “I could learn.”

“You could,” he conceded. “Maybe. You don’t like to be the bad guy and sometimes when you’re training a dog you have to be able to say a firm no. Especially with puppies.” Before Harry could respond, Malfoy was bending over and scooping up Caerus, “Alright, Mister. Back to the puppy room with you,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

When he came back he brought two puppies with him, both with curly, white hair. “Meet Castor and Pollux,” he said.

“Hello,” Harry replied, petting both of them as they squirmed on the floor and started to tousle with one another, both yipping happily as they played.

“We are hoping someone will adopt them as a set. They’ve never been apart a day in their lives and they basically only socialize with one another, no matter what we do with them. They both cry inconsolably when they are separated.” He crouched down beside Harry and stroked one of their backs, “They are also definitely not for you, but I told you that you could meet all of them.”

“Thanks,” Harry said with a smile as Malfoy scooped them back up and carried them back to the other room.

A moment later he came in, walking slowly and leading a dog who limped along behind him. “This is Molly,” he said as he led her over to Harry. She wagged her tail happily at him and plopped down next to him. “She is the sweetest, gentlest dog you’ve ever met.”

Harry stroked her head and she laid her head on his lap.

“She’s a black lab mix and she is a love,” he said as he crouched next to Harry once more, “She has had a hard life and she would love you until the day she died, but she is also not for you.”

“What?” Harry asked, looking up at Malfoy, “Why not?”

“Well first because she is special needs, she’s blind, her liver is pretty much shot, she’s all but deaf, she can’t manage stairs, and she is on a variety of medications.”

“I could learn how to deal with all of those things!” Harry protested. “Poor girl, she just needs a home.”

“That’s the second reason you can’t have her,” he said. “She’s already been adopted. She’s the owner’s dog. He just brings her along because he can’t leave her alone at home all day.”

“Oh,” Harry said.

“Yes, oh,” Malfoy replied. “She’s a good old girl.”

“Why doesn’t her name match all the others?”

Malfoy flushed slightly and Harry couldn’t help but find it a little charming, “I named all of the others,” he confessed. “We just need something to call them while they’re here and I like to give them new names if they’ve come from somewhere else to help distance them from their pasts. People can change their names when they leave.”

“That’s sweet,” Harry said.

“Shut up,” Malfoy replied.

Harry laughed, “What? It is.”

He rolled his eyes, “Alright, Miss Molly, let’s go. We have to find this prat a dog and you can’t be it,” he told her as he gave her a gentle tap and started leading her out. “No, you cannot. Your dad would never give you up. No,” he said as the door closed behind him.

Next, he came in carrying a tiny dog who was yipping at him, “Yes, yes, Hermes. We all hear you.”

He set the dog down and he immediately ran over to Harry, still barking at him. Harry held out a hand to the dog to sniff, “Hello there.”

Hermes yipped at him and then ran over to Malfoy yipping before returning to Harry once more.

“Hermes thinks it’s his job to tell everyone everything. He basically never stops barking.”

“Aptly named then,” Harry said as he reached out and stroked a hand down his back.

“He’s part chihuahua, we’re certain,” Malfoy continued. “And he is trained and housebroken, his only problem is that he doesn’t stop barking.”

“Will a dog like this find a home?” Harry asked, even though he knew it couldn’t be with him.

“Oh, certainly,” he replied. “He’s young and healthy and has his basic training. There are people out there who will not mind his barking one bit.”

“I’m not one of them,” Harry said as he handed Hermes back to Malfoy.

“No,” he replied. “There are two more,” he said. “And while I think either of them could be right for you, I’m saving the one I think is perfect for last.”

“Alright.”

“I only say this so that you don’t fall completely head over heels for the next one before meeting Penelope.”

“I’ll do my best,” Harry assured him.

A few minutes later he returned with a giant black dog ambling along behind him, “This is Gaia,” he said.

Harry’s heart melted as the dog walked straight over to him and flopped down on his feet. “Hello beautiful girl,” he said as he stroked through her thick fur.

“Gaia is a six-year-old Newfoundland mix. She is house trained already, she’s a very low energy dog but she’ll go on walks and play with you. She is a very sweet girl.”

“Yeah,” Harry said, he brushed his thumb along her cheek and she stared at him with her big brown eyes. “Hi,” he said softly.

“She would love you unconditionally,” Malfoy said as he knelt beside Harry.

“Why do you think she isn’t perfect for me?”

“More than half of her life is already over,” Malfoy said. “Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.” He glanced down at the dog and stroked her side.

“But...” Harry prompted.

“But,” Malfoy said before taking a deep breath. “You’ve seen a lot of death,” he looked up at Harry then, his eyes so clear and sincere that they seemed to pierce into Harry’s very soul. “Newfies typically live 8-10 years.” He raised one shoulder, “She would be great for you, but she is going to leave you far too soon.”

Harry’s eyes stung and he looked away from Draco and down at Gaia who had fallen asleep. “Will she get adopted?”

“Yes,” Malfoy said without even a moment’s hesitation. “She is a sweet, sweet girl and people love big dogs. I give her two weeks in here tops.”

Harry stroked her ear between his fingers, “If I tell you to bring in the last one but decide I like her better?”

“You can still adopt her,” he said quickly. “Sending her back now doesn’t hurt a thing.”

He nodded once, “Alright.”

Malfoy nodded back, “Come on, Miss Gaia,” he said. “Up you get, you sleepy girl.”

She stood up, turning to look at Harry for a moment and wagging her bushy tail at him, before lumbering after Malfoy once more.

When he returned he was leading a small tan dog behind him. “This,” he said as he scooped her up, “Is Penelope.”

As Malfoy started to hand her to Harry she started wagging her tail so hard that her entire body wiggled with the movement. Harry laughed as he took her into his arms, “Well hello little one,” he said. She bumped her nose against his before licking his cheek. “Hi,” he said again.

She squirmed a bit, so he set her down, thinking this is where any that had gone wrong went wrong but she didn’t walk away, she stood up on her hind legs and pressed her front paws against his chest so she could lick under his chin.

He laughed and stroked down her sides, she was super soft and he said as much to Malfoy.

He nodded, “Yeah, our best guess for breed is a chihuahua-frenchie or chihuahua-pug mix. The pug or frenchie would account for the wrinkles that she gets in her forehead, how soft she is, her barrel chest, and the way her little ears look. Chihuahua would account for the long legs and slender build in spite of her barrel chest.”

She took her feet off Harry’s chest and Harry held his breath to see what she would do. She turned away and he thought that his mind was made up but then she turned in a circle in between his legs, then another, then a third before laying down pressed against his body as close as she could get.

Something made Harry feel like he was choking as he watched her settle against him.

“She likes you,” Malfoy said softly. “Miss Penelope is almost two. She is potty and kennel trained already but will need a little help learning basic commands, she’s relatively young so it shouldn’t be too hard. She doesn’t like going on walks when it’s too hot or too cold, but when the weather is nice she enjoys them. She likes to play fetch and she really likes to chew things. But her favorite thing is a lap to curl up on under a blanket.”

“She’s so small,” Harry said softly.

“Fifteen pounds,” Malfoy affirmed.

“Would she want to sleep in a kennel at night?” Harry asked.

“If you wanted her to,” he said.

“And if I didn’t?”

“She loves to get up on furniture with people. I’m sure she’d be glad to sleep in bed with you if that’s what you’re asking.”

She lifted her head up from where it was tucked against her chest and plopped it on Harry’s thigh, gazing up at him with warm caramel eyes.

“She would adore you,” Malfoy said softly. “I named her Penelope because I knew that whoever she chose as her person she would be unendingly faithful to.”

“Yeah,” Harry said, stroking her head before running her ear between his fingers.

Over the earpiece Malfoy was wearing, Harry could hear Annie requesting back up on the sales floor.

“Why don’t you two take a little more time together,” Malfoy said. “I’ll go check in with Annie and then when I come back you can tell me what you’ve decided.”

Penelope lifted her head as Malfoy left the room watching him until the door closed before turning to look at Harry.

“It’s alright,” Harry said, stroking his fingers down her side. “He’ll be back.” He picked her up, holding her in his arms like an infant, and she huffed a little breath before settling her head on his shoulder, tucking her nose into his neck.

“It’s alright,” he said again, even though she didn’t seem perturbed in the least. “What do you think, then?” he asked her. “Hmm?”

She pressed her nose against his neck and gave him a tiny lick.

“Do you want to come live with me?” he asked her.

Her tail twitched back and forth a few times.

“Is that a yes?” he asked as he turned his head to press his face into the fur on her shoulder. “Hmm? You want to come home with me?”

More waggles and Harry couldn’t help but smile at her.

“Do you like the name Penelope?” he asked her, shifting her so that he could see her face, he brushed his thumb over her black whiskers and she turned her head away, “Well you don’t like that, do you?” he asked and he brushed his thumb under her eye to clear a little gunk. “Sorry, little one.”

She let out a little huff at him and he couldn’t help but chuckle at her.

He held her and pet her, talking to her softly. He fell completely in love with her in a matter of minutes.

When the door opened and Malfoy stepped back in, Harry said, “Can I take her home today?”

“Yeah,” Malfoy said with a smile. “There’s a whole bunch of paperwork for you to fill out first but wait until you get a load of their quills. There’s no inkpot or anything.”

Harry laughed, “They’re pens, not quills.”

“You know about them?” Malfoy asked incredulously.

“I lived with muggles after my parents died until I was 11. Yes, I know what pens are.”

Malfoy huffed, “Why wouldn’t you have brought them to Hogwarts? Why didn’t you use them there? It would have been so much smarter.”

“You wouldn’t have wanted anything to do with pens,” Harry replied with a laugh.

“Well, that's probably true. But I was an idiot.”

Before Harry could say anything in response or even process that remark fully, Malfoy was reaching for Penelope, “Let me put her with the others while we get you squared away.”

“No!” Harry said quickly, clutching her tighter against him.

“I’ll give her back, I promise,” Malfoy said.

“Can’t she just stay with me?” Harry pleaded.

Malfoy looked at him for a moment, “Yes, alright, but don’t let her distract you from the work you have to do.”

“I won’t.”

“Here,” he said, holding out a contraption to Harry. “Put this on her, she can’t be loose out on the sales floor.”

“Err,” Harry said as he reached for it. “How do I?”

Malfoy rolled his eyes, “Merlin, Potter. It’s a harness,” he said. “Here, set her on the floor and I’ll show you how to put it on her. It’s so you can walk her on a leash.”

“Can’t I just use a collar?” he asked.

“No,” Malfoy said as he lifted one of her front legs through a hole, then the other. “Small dogs, in general, do better with harnesses than collars. Unlike larger dogs, she has a more fragile trachea so we put a harness on her instead.”

“Is she okay, though?”

“Oh, yes,” he said quickly as he snapped the harness over her back. “Right,” Malfoy said, passing him the end of her leash. “This way, I’ll take you in to see Jeff and get her paperwork filled out.”

“Great, thanks,” Harry said, “Alright, Penelope,” he said, “let’s go.” She wagged her tail and stared up at him.

“Do you have the things you’ll need for your home?”

Harry shook his head, “Can I get those things here?”

“Yes. After you fill out her adoption paperwork.”

“Will you help me make sure I get everything she needs?” Harry asked quickly, afraid he’d miss something essential.

Malfoy gave him a smile and a small nod.

When they went to the office, Malfoy knocked on the door and someone, Jeff, Harry presumed, called for him to enter.

“Hi Jeff, this is Harry Potter,” Malfoy said, gesturing for Harry to enter the room. “He’s here to adopt Penelope.”

The man at the desk looked up over the top of his glasses and gave Harry a warm smile. “That is wonderful news! Come in.”

“I’ll just leave you to it, then,” Malfoy replied.

“Draco, you should stay. I’ve been meaning for you to learn more about the actual adoption process,” Jeff said.

It took a while to fill out all of the paperwork, but once they did, Jeff said, “perfect. Now there’s just the home visit and you’ll be all set.”

Harry looked over at Malfoy and Malfoy looked at him, both realizing at the same time what a bad idea it was to have a muggle come to his house.

“I’ll do it,” Malfoy volunteered quickly.

“Your shift is almost over,” Jeff said, looking at the clock on the wall. “I can take care of it.”

“That’s alright,” he said. “I don’t mind. We’re old,” he broke off, glancing at Harry, “friends,” he finished a bit awkwardly. “I’m helping him make sure he has everything he needs anyway.”

The other man nodded, "If you're sure."

"I'm sure," he said, nudging Harry out of the office.

Malfoy helped him to buy supplies for her, laughing as Harry picked out far more toys and treats for her than he thought was necessary. The sales associate helped them to box everything up and Malfoy helped him carry everything out of the store. "How far do we have to walk?" Malfoy asked.

"Just a couple of blocks," Harry said. "Do you want me to take that?" he asked, offering him Penelope's leash in exchange.

He shook his head, "It's fine." He hoisted the box a little higher in his arms.

"Do you live near here, too?" he asked, watching Penelope trot along tail wagging as she sniffed.

"About twenty minutes by bus."

He couldn't help but chuckle, "Draco Malfoy riding a muggle bus, who would have thought it?"

But the other man didn't seem to find that amusing, he frowned, "I'm not the person you remember."

"No," Harry said quickly, "I know," he added. "I wasn't trying to say anything unkind."

"Sorry," Malfoy replied, shaking his head slightly, "It's been a while since I've seen anyone from the wizarding world." He paused then added, "People from the past don't generally say kind things."

Harry hummed, "The wizarding world is full of hypocrites and people unwilling to see the wrong they themselves have done." He shook his head, "It's a lot. It's why I left."

He nodded to the door ahead of them, "This is my house," he added.

"It's nice," Draco said.

"Thanks," he grinned as he opened the door. "Sorry, I didn't realize that I would be having company or I would have cleaned up a little more," he added as he let Malfoy inside.

He took the harness off of her and let her investigate her surroundings.

"Did you say that you aren't expecting company?" Malfoy asked.

"Yeah," Harry said, keeping one eye on the dog as he started setting up her little bed and basket of toys.

"But it's your birthday," he said.

"Yeah," he mumbled.

Malfoy stared at him for a long moment before clearing his throat, "Do you have a back yard?"

"Yes," he said, glad for the change of subject, "This way," he added, nodding toward the back door. "It's fenced in but it's not very big, I'll take her on walks," he hastened to add as he opened the door. Penelope wandered out and started sniffing around and something warm unfurled in Harry's chest just watching her.

The other boy glanced out the door and nodded, "This is fine, it passes the inspection."

"Good," Harry said, breathing a sigh of relief. "Come on, Penny," he called and the little dog perked her head up and came dashing across the yard and back into the house."

"Penny, huh?" Malfoy asked with an amused little smile.

"For short," Harry nodded.

"I like it," he said as they turned and headed inside. "Well, I'll get out of your hair-"

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" Harry asked without really thinking about why.

Malfoy's brow furrowed, "Do you want me to?"

He shrugged one shoulder, "Only if you want to." When Malfoy didn't reply immediately he shook his head, "Never mind, it's silly. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm lonely, ignore me."

"No. I'd," he swallowed, "I'd like to stay for dinner, if you wanted. I just couldn't imagine that you'd want..." he trailed off.

"We're not the boys we were," Harry said, holding out a hand, "Harry Potter."

After a heartbeat Draco reached out and clasped his hand, "Draco Malfoy."

"Do you like pizza?" Harry asked.

He nodded, "As long as you don't put peppers on it."

"Done," he replied as Penny came over and put her paws up on his leg. He scooped her up and smiled, thinking for the first time in a long time that maybe everything was going to turn out alright.

------------

Sorry friends, this one really got away from me. It's super long. I hope that you still enjoy it! <3 Lots of love, -c

Day 107: Charge | Day 109: Coffee Shop

[spideyskrunkly]

N[redacted]

Criminal Case Fanfic

Characters: Nathan Pandit, Alex Turner, Grace Delaney, some homophobic asshole, then there's Jones and Ray in the near end

Warnings: Swearing, homophobia (ew), headcanons, someone starts crying, inappropriate comments, slight violence in the near end

Something was bugging him. Apparently right now before anyone else could know. Even Alex and Grace have been noticing, but it was hard for him to say something. He knew he needed to be strong. He's in the GPD after all.

Giving Nathan screentime ✨

It was a normal day before it was hell.

Nathan was just studying a few things about reptiles. How they're cold blooded, have some studies underwater, etc, etc.

"Ah, Pandit. Reading as usual, I see."

Nathan turned to the other side of the room only to find another officer by the name of Steve Frincly which was on their badge. And who was also an asshole.

"Frincly, I don't have time for your games. Go bother Jones or Ramirez or something else. I'm kinda caught up in something."

"Whatcha reading? Nerd stuff?"

Frincley then walked to Nathan's desk and sat down in a chair.

"Sure, consider it however."

"Yeah, this seems like a whole waste of time. You just love reptiles too much huh? You're even wearing some reptile on ya, Pandit!"

"I have no idea what you're on about."

Frincley then had the nastiest grin on his face.

"Don't think I don't know, buddy."

"I don't know what you know."

Frincley got up and headed for the door.

"Consider yourself alive and lucky that I can't do anything about it, N[×]."

And the door closed.

All that remained in the room was a Nathan with a traumatized look on his face. Never had he heard that name in 10 years.

And neither did he want to.

☆

"Alex, come here for a sec?"

Grace can only whisper to Alex in the moment to wheel his chair to Grace's side of the lab.

"Have you ever noticed anything about... Nathan lately?"

"What do ya mean?"

"Lately, he's been more quiet than usual. And he happens to seem a little sad. I think something's bugging him."

"Isn't he always quiet though?" There was no joking around or being silly. Alex showed a little concern as well.

"Yeah, but not to this point where he just officially shuts off. He'd at least say something or help us out when we're doing results or whatever."

"Then maybe there is something wrong."

All the two could do was hope that there wasn't anything wrong with him. They started to think of ideas of how to help Nathan.

"Maybe we could invite him somewhere?"

"Alex, don't be silly."

"I'm not! He could use a distraction with how much he looks so stressed."

"I guess so, but then the chief rarely gives us breaks..."

"Maybe I can talk to Cathy and she might be able to talk to him so that he could let us vacay!"

"Or maybe not. I think a holiday is coming up."

"Halloween?"

"No, a Monday holiday."

"Damnit, I was gonna say we can do a costume trick or treating."

"Maybe we'll bring the whole team on Halloween. But right now, Nathan could use some comfort."

Grace then sat up from her desk with Alex following behind to Nathan's office.

Nathan was still upset about the name and was in his office and had been blocking off people unless it's work related.

With the door locked, all they could do is knock and talk to the other side of the door.

"Nathan, buddy? It's Grace and I have Alex here. You think we can have a minute with you?"

... no answer.

"Nathan, it's kinda been a while. We know you're in there, too, your light is on. You ain't that slick."

... still no answer.

"We were wondering if you wanted to hangout us next Monday. We could maybe go grab something to eat then."

"Yeah, I heard there's this one cafe that give the best BLT's."

... no answer, but the door seems to have made a noise.

Grace tested to see if and was stated correct when the door unlocked.

Alex peeked behind her to see if Nathan was there.

"You good, dude?"

All Nathan could do was look up to see if they had anything else to say. His eyes looked red from crying so much.

"... Do I look good?"

"What happened?? You've been completely quiet all week. Alex and I have been noticing."

"Aren't I always quiet?"

"That's what I thought too, but then Grace pointed out that you can be more chill than this quiet."

"... It's just been a really rough week."

"Whatever it is, Nathan, you can tell us."

"I don't think it would matter."

"If it didn't matter, you wouldn't be like this."

"Grace, maybe we should give him some time."

"A week had been enough time. Nathan, what's bugging you."

"Nothing."

"Was it Frincley-"

"I AM NOT A GIRL!"

...

"Well I didn't ask if you were a girl."

"I'm not. For fucks sake."

Okay, something was wrong because Nathan barely swears.

...

"Yes, fine it was him. He called me a name."

Alex looked confused, then offended. "Was it the n word?"

"No, Alex. It was... my different name."

"Well, what was it?"

"... My birth name?"

"Which is Nathan?" Grace can't help but be confused as well.

"It wasn't Nathan before."

Oh.

OH.

"Oohhhhhhhh."

"Now don't make a big deal or insult me."

"Nathan, why would we insult you?"

"Because over the years of me aging, I have been insulted for it."

"Well, they suck big, Donkey Kong cocks for it."

Grace elbowed Alex.

"What?! They do!"

"Not. The time."

Then she turns to Nathan. "But Alex has a point; even if it's... inappropriate. You shouldn't have to feel like this, you're a human being too."

"I guess, but I just didn't want to hear that name again."

"Then I'll talk to Frincley to not say it."

"Don't do anything rash."

"No promises." Then Grace bolts out of the room.

"Oh no." Alex can't help but giggle.

"Grace!"

♤

"Frincley!"

Frincley looked to see the woman walking towards him with one of her heels in her hand.

"Oh what? Now we're walking barefoot in here, I guess. I knew you were like a dog, but I didn't think you beh-"

Before he could finish, she bitched slapped him to the floor with the heel. It was so bad, he had a mark.

The coroner and the technician weren't far behind.

"Grace, no, it's okay! Just leave him, I don't want you getting fired!"

"CUT HIS DICK OFF, GRACE! FUCK YEAH!"

Frincley looked up in shock. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

While putting her heel back on, Grace gave him the ugliest glare.

"Stay mad."

"For what?! Telling your coroner the truth?! About how she-"

👠🍆

"AGGGHHHH FUCK"

"GRACE STOP THAT! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Nathan got a hold of Grace to keep her off, but she wasn't backing down. "CAN SOMEONE HELP ME!?"

"BREAK HIS DICK! That's what he gets for misgendering people! 😜"

Two officers which was the night patroller and the inspector who happened to be in the building rushed to the room.

"LET ME GO! HE NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON!" Grace struggled in Ramirez, Nathan and Jones's grasp.

"As much as it was satisfying to see Frincley in pain, what the fuck is going on?!" All Jones could do was inspect the room. "And why is Grace so strong! I can barely hold her!"

"Frincley was being homophobic and sexist." Alex pointed to the person who was acting like a victim.

"Homophobic?" Ramirez was confused. "To who?"

Alex didn't want to out Nathan but Nathan spoke up.

"To me."

"Ain't no such thing." Frincley yelled to Nathan as an act of disrespect.

"Frincley, shut up before I release Grace and step on your dick with my boot."

"RELEASE ME!"

"RELEASE HER!"

"Shut the hell up Alex, don't encourage her! And Grace, we'll deal with him. Don't worry, we'll make sure no charges are against you. He doesn't even deserve to do that."

"Are you serious?! You're defending those freaks because I'm right?!"

Ramirez then spoke up. "Frincley, I thought you could be more mature then this. This is a colleague you're talking about. Jones, we might as well take him to the chief about it."

"Agreed."

Everyone then released a now calmer yet still pissed off Grace Delaney as the officers walked to the one cop to take him to the chief's office.

"Grace, as much as it was appreciated, and yet brutal, I thank you for this so much. But please don't do something like this again. You could have seriously gotten in trouble."

"I might get suspension, but if it means helping you feel better, it works for me, Nathan."

"He deserved to have his dick cut off though."

"Alex."

"Just saying."

And with that, Nathan couldn't help but feel better.

[anomander-dragnipurake]

Bowuigi Valentines

“Sir, I assure you this is a rather unwise decision,” Kamek said as soon as Bowser finishing telling him where they were headed and why. This was exactly why Bowser hadn’t wanted to bring him in the first place but he’d invited himself aboard and they’d took off before Bowser had realized. But it was too late, they were already on the airship, well on their way to the Mushroom Kingdom. “And I’m not just saying that because I disapprove of you wanting to date him, even though there’s that too. What if Mario’s there or Princess Peach?”

Bowser hadn’t considered that but… “It’s Valentine’s Day, why would they be at Luigi’s place?” Surely, they had to have better things to do be doing in general but especially today.

“They could be. Also, what makes you think asking the brother of your former nemesis out on a date is a good idea? It was bad enough you’re being friendly with each other and letting him babysit your kids. What if he betrays you, huh?”

“First off, Mario is still my nemesis, the fact that I haven’t kidnapped Peach in ages doesn’t change that. Second, Luigi’s not going to betray me.” Bowser was typically pretty skeptical of people too but with Luigi, he just didn’t see it happening. And that was a large part of why Bowser had fallen for him. Of course he could still turn Bowser down which would suck but… it didn’t hurt to try, right?

Kamek adjusted his glasses in that obnoxious way he always did before going off on a rant about why Bowser should or should not do something. Thankfully before he could even get out a single word, the airship bell rang outside, indicating they’d reached their destination and were beginning to descend. Bowser quickly gathered up the heart shaped box of chocolates and bouquet of flowers off the desk and fled the captain’s cabin.

He’d never been to Luigi’s home before but it being a mansion made it a bit hard to miss even before he’d reached the ship’s railing. It was bigger than Luigi’s description had made it seem. And despite having only relatively recently been cleared of ghosts, it didn’t look haunted, just kind of old and a little dilapidated, fancy though. Overall Bowser liked it even if his castle was still better.

As the ship neared the ground, Bowser vaulted over the railing, landing with a thud on the ground below. He didn’t look back at it as he started down the path for the front door. Let Kamek be mad and disapprove, he was old and single so what did even know about romance anyway? Besides Bowser was the Koopa King and thus he did as he pleased.

Despite his resolve, he faltered a little as he reached the front door. He was a big bad fire breathing reptile, a former enemy of the Mushroom Kingdom, what were the chances someone as pure hearted as Luigi could possibly feel even slightly romantically inclined towards him? Not good, right? Even if they were friends now. … He was already here though and going back now would be the same as listening to Kamek so… with a deep breath, he pressed the doorbell, careful not to push it too hard.

He had to ring it twice more a couple minutes later before Luigi answered. That was just like him, he had a whole mansion and a bunch of money but did he hire any kind of house staff? Nope, of course not. Why would he when he could just do it all himself?

“Who…” Luigi cut off, freezing in place as he stared up at Bowser. “Oh uh… hey Bowser. What are you doing here and uh… um… why are you dressed so nicely?” Ah, good he seemed to like the suit. Or maybe not, it was hard to tell but he’d certainly noticed it and felt some way about it.

“I came to ask if you would do me the honor of being my Valentine?” With a flourish, Bowser pulled the box of chocolates and flowers out from behind his back to offer to Luigi.

Once more Luigi froze solid, only his eyes moving as he looked at the gifts then back up at Bowser’s face and then back again. He made a vague gesture towards himself. “M-me? Really?” That wasn’t a ‘no’ so… perhaps Bowser stood a chance after all?

“Yes, you!” It wasn’t often Bowser was unsure or nervous about something but… he really didn’t want to mess this up. “I already have a diner reservation at the fanciest place in my kingdom or yours if you’d like to go with me.”

“I uh… um…” Luigi shifted, looking away. … Oh no, he was going say ‘no’, wasn’t he? That made sense. What was Bowser even thinking, coming out here to ask him this?

“It’s fine if you don’t…”

“Yes!” Luigi interrupted with surprising amount to intensity. “I mean uh… I would love to be your Valentine and uh… go on a date with you.” He accepted the flowers and chocolate with a large smile.

Intense relief washed through Bowser, making him feel almost like he needed to sit down. “Wonderful,” he said because he needed to say something. “Whenever you’re ready go, the airship awaits.” He gestured back towards it. As per his instructions the shy guys had lowered the boarding plank and rolled out a carpet on it. They flanked it, waiting for Bowser and Luigi to board. Kamek was nowhere in sight, he was probably still sulking in the captain’s cabin; whatever, he’d get over it eventually.

“Oh wow uh… I should get ready then, huh? Just… give me a moment. And uh… feel free to come in.” Luigi ducked back inside, leaving the door open for Bowser to follow.

Inside, the foyer was unsurprisingly clean and tidy. The floorboards creaked under Bowser’s weight which was the eternal problem with wooden flooring. Luigi was already off somewhere, presumably to his room to get ready, leaving Bowser to wait here for him. Which was fine, he needed some time to get over his nerves anyway.

He didn’t have to wait long though, not even five minutes later, Luigi reemerged from the upstairs room. Bowser’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of him and what he wore; a lovely flowing green dress. “You don’t mind if I wear this, do you?” he asked as he nervously descended the stairs. “I can change again if you’d prefer.”

“Nah, don’t. It looks good on you.”

Luigi seemed to almost let out a sigh of relief as he reached the bottom of the stairs. “Also uh… before we go, I went back and forth a lot on whether or not I was going to mail this to you and then it eventually became too late so I thought I wouldn’t but then… here you are so… here.” As he reached Bowser, he pulled out a card he’d been holding behind his back and handed it to him.

‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ was written on the front in fancy lettering in the middle of a large red heart. Inside Luigi’s handwriting was neat and tidy. ‘Dear Bowser, you’ve come a long way since I first approached you about no longer going after Peach to fight Mario and we’ve been friends for a while now. Honestly, I’ve grown rather fond of you so I hope it is not too forward of me to ask if you’d perhaps like to try being more than solely friends. Answer next time we chat or just ignore this if you’d rather not, it’s totally fine. Yours truly, Luigi.’

Bowser chuckled as he looked back up at Luigi. He hadn’t been the only one thinking this at all, wonderful. “I’d like that very much.”

Luigi’s mustache partially hid his blush it was still unmistakably there. “I’m glad! Though… this does mean we’re probably going to have to tell Mario, huh? Keeping a friend secret is one thing but keeping a romantic partner a secret is uh… something else.”

True and that was honestly the only real downside to any of this but… “We’ll worry about that later.” Bowser waved that thought away, it didn’t matter right now so why even bother thinking about it? “We have a date to get to if you’re ready.”

“Uh… yeah, we can worry about that later. I’m ready to go.”

[let-love-run-red]

Bro, those two garcello fics were amazing. Absolutely stunning!. Also hi I'm panic anon, one of the ones who suggested the mercello story. I guess I'll be the one giving you fantasy themed requests lol. Maybe a story with a s/o explorer gets herself caught in a mess when she runs into naga! Garcello and naga! Annie? Like they tried to eat her until she explains what she's doing, gar softens up about it and they both learn about humans while she learns about them? It'd be real cool if ya did this

Hi panic anon! It's nice to meet you, this one was a lot of fun, and a bit challenging because I had never heard of Naga's before now haha, I hope you enjoy it!

***

Nobody had been in this part of the forest in centuries. The locals had stories of an ancient temple, hidden somewhere in the jungle, swallowed by the trees and slowly being reclaimed by nature. They told tales of fearsome guardians of the temple, giant snakes that could swallow the moon whole  and with enough venom in one fang to kill a herd of elephants.

But the people here were superstitious, and their stories of ancient beasts never held any water. However there was evidence in old texts that the temple existed, and that was the reason you were out here. You had been in this jungle for days on end, trekking during dusk and dawn, resting during the deepest parts of night and hottest parts of the day.

You began to see evidence of the temple. Cracked stones that could be a road, pillars what were definitely man made, and large tracks in the dirt that could be from someone dragging stone through the dirt long ago. You were so close to finding it, but it would have to wait until morning.

***

When you woke you weren't in your camp. It took you a moment to register that you weren't ticked safely in your tent, but rather hanging, upside down, from somewhere. You panicked for a moment, letting out a distressed sound and trying to pull your hands free. They were tied tightly behind your back and through your belt while you hung by your feet.

"What, what's happening?" You mumbled to yourself, looking up, well, down, towards the ground. There were those same strange tracks on the ground below you and you heard a low growling sound.

"What do you want?" You heard a strange voice ask. You looked around yourself as well as you could and saw someone hanging upside down next to yourself. He had teal green hair and soft brown eyes. But he wasn't tied, instead he had his arms crossed in front of him as he tilted his head.

"Why are you here?" He asked. You cleared your throat. You were starting to get a headache from being upside down so long.

"I, I was just," You looked down, or up, to where you were tied and looked to him expecting to see the same sort of vines holding him up. Instead what you saw shocked you.

He was a snake, from the waist down he had no legs. Where he should have legs like any normal person there was instead a long muscular snake body covered in black scales with green diamonds down his back. He was looped around the same large pillar you were hanging from. He was so large that his tail draped on the ground beneath you. You pulled yourself back and your mouth dropped open.

"W-what are you?" You asked, trying desperately to free your hands. He let out a deep chuckle and dropped down from the pillar, landing on the ground below. He had chains looped around his waist that jingled against his scales and he circled you, his head now level with yours.

"I'm one of the guardians of this temple," He bared his teeth, huge fangs that glowed green with venom, "and you are trespassing." He hissed in your face. You squeezed your eyes shut and grimaced, trying to pull yourself back. This was it, you should have heeded the warning of the locals. But, naga's? You had only heard vague myths of them, there wasn't even an inkling of him existing.

"Garcello?" Another voice called from somewhere within the temple. He paused and turned around and another person, no, naga, appeared around the corner. She was younger, with dark hair and red scales with the same black diamond patterns down her back. She turned to see you hanging from the pillar and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Garcello." She said with a bit of bite in her voice. His shoulders slumped and he rolled his eyes.

"Annie." He greeted her with the same level of bite. She moved closer and reached up, untying your hands from behind your back. He scowled and she turned to face him. You tried to focus on keeping your breathing and heartbeat as calm as you could.

"Untie her legs." Annie said to him. Garcello crossed his arms and lifted his chin.

"She got too close to the temple, Annie we're supposed to be Guardians." He said. His tail dragged across the floor, almost as if he was agitated, and his scales rattled against the stones. Annie sighed and reached up, trying to reach the ropes on your ankles.

"Garcello, there is nothing left here to protect." She said softly as she fell back to her usual height. She approached the other naga and rested her hand gently on his shoulder. He let out a huff, uncrossing his arms and approaching you. He reached up and untied your legs, catching you as you fell and flipping you upright to set you on your feet.

You had to pause and tried to steady yourself. You stumbled back, tripping over his tail and landing draped over his back. He was warm for a snake, you doubted he would have to bask like normal reptiles to keep himself warm, which explained why nobody had seen either of them. They likely lived underground. Under the temple. You took a moment and steadied yourself while laying over his back. He allowed it, although begrudgingly. You finally stood and he moved his body so that it coiled around you. Not tightly, just enough that to leave you would have to step over him.

"Are you alright now?" He asked. You nodded, regretting it as you felt dizzy almost immediately. You stumbled again and nearly fell backwards when he tightened his tail and caught you, holding you upright.

"I'm sorry, we're supposed to guard this temple." Annie said, folding her hands in front of her. "You're the first person to find it in years." She finished. You nodded, slowly this time, resting your hands on Garcello's tail around your waist. You took a deep breath and Garcello loosened his tail, letting it drop back to the ground.

"I'm just an explorer, I just wanted to see it. And document it, it's a big part of the history of this culture." You explained. Annie nodded and looked to Garcello. He made a low clicking sound in the back of his throat and she returned the sound before looking back to you.

"We can make you a deal," She said. "you're the first person here in over a century, and we've never met a human before." She continued. You paused, looking between she and Garcello.

"We'll take you around the temple, if you agree to teach us about humans." He said, moving so he was next to Annie. You were wary. He had kidnapped you, tied you up, and now they were going to release you, when you'd done nothing. You nodded your agreement, clearing your throat.

"I can do that." You said. Annie and Garcello smiled, though Garcello quickly let his face fall to normal as he scratched the stubble on his chin.

"But," You started. Annie's smile faded as she tilted her head. "I need you to take me back and let me pack up my camp." You continued. Annie and Garcello tilted their heads and looked to each other in confusion.

"I don't feel right, just leaving all my things in the jungle. They don't belong there." You shook your head. Garcello smiled and approached you, stopping so he was next to you.

"I'll take you back there then. Let's go."

[i-am-a-passenger]

Grace getting off the train hc list:

image description: a spin on the “you’ve been in a coma for x amount of time” meme featuring Grace. Grace’s head is poorly edited onto the face on the patient and the nurse is touching her shoulder saying “you’ve been on the train for ten years” Grace replies “can’t wait to go outside where there’s no pandemic”. end description. 

this one ended up incredibly long... 

- Grace’s number was built up over the course of 8 years where Simon was retraumatising her and she was making herself worse for other ppl’s approval out of a misguided idea of what she was supposed to do, that sort of trauma and straying from the recovery the train intended for her will take a long time to recover from, so Grace gets off the train 2 maybe 3 years after Book 3 finishes. 

- also I like to think that she and her kid friends moved out of the mall car to somewhere else and set up a new camp there, and that some of them waited after getting their exits for Grace to get hers so they could leave together. And so Grace wouldn’t be alone on the train since that’s a huge source of anguish for her and I like the idea of some of the older kids in their teens looking after Grace and making sure she isn’t forced into a perfect leader role again and is able to take time to herself to look after her mental health and pursue hobbies and such so when she gets off the train she’s in a much better headspace and able to have healthier mutually caring relationships with people.

- Grace’s parents never stopped looking for her okay they love her :’[ but losing your only child for several years took a huge toll on their relationship and gave them lots of time to reflect on their not perfect behaviour and realise they were hurting Grace and why they treated her that way. 

(taking huge inspiration from @blackfemmecharacterdependency​ ‘s no train au for Grace’s family here...) Grace’s mother realised she was living vicariously through her daughter and that her investment in Grace’s dancing and fame wasn’t healthy. So with Grace gone for such a long time and her unable to do that she turned inward and realised that about herself, and set to making her own life better and happier for herself so she wouldn’t need to project all these standards and unfulfilled dreams onto her daughter. 

I like to think that Grace’s mum used to be like, a singer or an actress or something and was convinced to give that up by her husband to raise their daughter, and with Grace gone she returns to her career and reconnects with her old friends and colleagues. Also it’s important to me that as part of this she stops straightening her hair and goes natural, and while she still dresses fancy she does so more for herself than keeping up professional appearances. So when Grace comes back she’s ready to be accepting of her fashion choices and self expression rather than control her.  

As for Grace’s dad, he seems like the type who’s overly invested in what things should be like to the point where he ignores or tries to change how things actually are, even if doing so hurts people. Like, when he got told Grace had shoplifted his response was “Grace would never steal” and he argues with the police officer, which really hurts Grace because rather than talking to her and thinking about how she feels and she would steal, he jumps into protecting his idealised image of Grace, and as we see with Grace’s mum scolding her for dressing up these parents really projected their ideals onto their daughter and traumatised her. 

So for him it would be about letting go of controlling others and realising why he had to make Grace into someone else and mould her into what he wanted. I think after a few years her parents hire therapists for themselves and he does a lot of digging into his past to become a better person. 

So when Grace comes back she goes home to a household that’s not perfect, but it’s trying to heal. 

- Grace and her parents have a kind of rocky relationship for the first few months that she’s back. Grace has a hard time opening up about everything that happened on the train for obvious reasons, I mean... a magical train is hard enough, but corunning a cult on a magical train and almost getting killed by your best friend and a bunch of indoctrinated children? the Hazel thing? hard to get all that out, especially to parents who haven’t exactly been sympathetic towards her. 

Also Grace’s dad kinda took a few steps back in his growth and tried to get Grace to start dancing again and just pushed for things to return to normal and for Grace to fit back into the plan he had for her life, partly because of not worked through stuff and partly because of guilt that she’d missed out on so much of her life (her entire teen years were spent on the train) and he did ultimately want her to be happy but went about it in the wrong way, so for these months Grace’s mum was like a mediator trying to figure out what Grace actually wanted and needed and protect her from being pushed back into the limelight when she wasn’t ready. 

- Grace’s parents got Grace a therapist and together they started figuring out what Grace actually wanted. I think Grace tried to get back into dancing professionally and while she was incredibly good because all those years she never stopped practicing, not having a professional teacher for 10 years meant she’d have to train again for a long time before she could catch up with her peers and the competition. 

Also the experience of competing against other people and winning stuff and being put on a pedestal for it is part of what made her act in the harmful ways she did during Book 3. So I personally am opposed to Grace returning to the life style that hurt her. This is something Grace realises through her therapy and she deals with a lot of feelings around being unable to dance professionally when that’s what her life was leading to, but she decides to explore other options like going to school and working and goes on a self discovery journey for a few years. 

- She co stars with her mum in some shows and movies after she got her an acting gig, or she sings with her, and she tries out other stuff too like working in a book shop ( 😏😏😏😏) and like idk... being the person who wears the chuck ee cheese fursuit at a chuck ee cheese restaurant just to see what it’s like and has a lot of fun. Eventually she decides that working with kids is what she wants to do, partly because she was really good at helping her kid friends get their numbers down and found it rewarding to help them, and she feels guilt that she couldn’t help Hazel in the same way, so if she can she wants to stop any other kids from feeling the same way and make a difference in people’s lives. Also as someone with a note great childhood she empathises a lot with kids that are suffering, so she applies for a course and starts doing placements.

I imagine her dad was a bit disappointed in this decision but did his best to hide it for Grace’s sake. 

Other stuff that makes me :] :

- When Grace tried dancing out again after years she met Shayna again and was nervous about it because they didn’t exactly get on well as kids but Shayna apologised to her for being mean n they become friends...

Shayna also ended up on the train because I said so, she was on there because she had insecurities that made her lash out at other people to feel better and she got train snatched after facing consequences for this from people she was mean to. She was on there for a few months - around the same time period Jesse was on the train for. And she got on just as the Apex was being formed, so she and her denizen companion would come across cars that had been raided by the Apex every now and then and wonder what was going on. They also ran into Amelia once or twice and were like ????? but thought nothing serious of it. 

So Shayna becomes the main person Grace confides in about her train experience and they end up becoming really good friends. Like... Grace missed huge amounts of music and films and other stuff while she was gone and is really alienated from pop culture and general conversation because she has no idea what people are talking about most of the time so Shayna and her have sleepovers and marathon all the important movies Grace missed and like... listen to music Shayna thinks she might like together. 

Sometimes Shayna pranks her by making her think that something no one cares about is a really big deal like... she tells her sausage party is considered a cult classic or something. Or she lies to her about memes so Grace embarrasses herself. But it’s not malicious or like, stuff that would really embarrass her or seriously hurt her feelings. they just mess around together is what I’m getting at. 

- Also Grace figures out her triggers with her therapist so stuff like the name simon and the word apex need to be avoided, and Shayna respects that and keeps it in mind when she finds stuff for them to watch together. Like they avoid the reptile section when they go to zoos and stuff too. 

- Grace keeps in touch with most of the kids that used to be in the apex, and they meet up every now and again and have a big get together barbecue on the anniversary of Grace getting off the train. And if any of them came from families with financial troubles Grace and her family try to support them. Basically the kids stay a part of Grace’s life and her support circle even after the train. 

- I do like to think that Grace and Lake would meet again and that Grace would have a chance to make amends. I don’t think Lake or Jesse would want Grace in their lives bc of what she did to them, but they accept her apology and wish her the best of luck in rebuilding her life. 

[jay-cult]

Crying Over Coconuts

Seabound aftermath. Jay is sad. Zippy is an adorable puppy. ~3k. All you need to know.

Things had been silent back at the monastery, which had only started feeling emptier as a new sun rose the morning after the ceremony. It was clear time wasn't going to heal this wound for anyone. Jay had to move about. Every minute he had itched to do something, to walk through a door or around the monastery walls. Because if he didn't, he would have felt awful just sitting around depressed in the plaster cage that was his room. But maybe he had deserved to lay around feeling awful. Maybe he should have just let his bad thoughts reclaim him. But of course, he had been selfish.

And so, that day, he felt the need to just go somewhere. Wherever his legs would take him, his mind would follow. He strode out the monastery. Nobody said anything to him. They just let him walk out without saying a word. At some point, through some combination of acquiring the fixed up sub speeder and making his way to the docks, he found himself speeding through the sea. He didn't even know why he had decided to use that thing. He hated being in there.

Once he got far enough, Jay had a difficult time trying to navigate. His long, skinny fingers handled the controls on some sort of autopilot to an unknown place. He couldn’t concentrate. Instead, he stared at the sea around him, getting lost in its infinite depths. His 5-foot-6, bone-dominated body laid nicely in the cushioned seat, and it made Jay suddenly wish that he could feel numb. Due to the mechanic team’s efforts, the chair was comfortable, luxurious, even. He felt bad for feeling. He didn’t want to feel. Jay let out a shaky sigh; if only he couldn’t think.

Suddenly, the sea began to rush in harsh currents around him. Loud BOOMS from the sky echoed through the water, and bright purple flashes of light blinked in his vision every few seconds. It appeared his subconscious had taken him to the storm belt- now he knew where he was going. “Ah crap-!” He returned to his senses when a chunk of stone crashed into the waves beside him. He gripped hard back onto his controls, and the fast pace of the fearful moment allowed him to focus on twisting around the dangerous zones. And eventually, finally, he rounded the corner of a wave and his sub splashed out of the storm-protected part of the shore.

Jay’s panicked breathing slowed as he looked out at the familiar calm view of the island of the keepers. He began his course along the coastline, making his way towards the keepers’ village. He now realized just what he wanted, and why he was here.

The sub’s metal body broke the water’s surface as it arrived at the keepers’ dock. Numerous guards rushed up to do their check of the visitor. The boy’s head appeared as the hood creaked open, smiling nervously. He glanced from spear-wielding keeper to keeper. “Hey! Hey, look who’s come to visit! It’s me, Gift of Jay!” He gestured exaggeratingly to himself, grinning.

They lowered their spears and let Jay hop onto the wet wood of the dock. They looked at each other with hesitance in their eyes. One of them stepped forward. “Poultik is not here. He went out with a party of keepers on a sailing voyage to search for the lost storm amulet.”

“Oh, the two-headed guy who really likes me isn’t… here?” His expression started to fall.

“Few days, maybe,” the keeper replied. “But, urhm, we can help you, Gift of Jay! What brings you here?”

Jay smiled a bit, but then his face fell again. “Oh, well, I guess I’m here to bring some news,” he answered, realizing in the moment that they should probably know what happened. They started to look excited, but Jay shook his head. “No, no, bad news. Er, last you heard… The amulet in Shintaro was fake, and Ninjago City was going to be attacked. Well, it was attacked. There were a lot of civilian casualties. I would know, I almost drowned like the rest of them.”

The keepers’ expressions turned into frowns. “Oh, no,” the speaker stepped forward. “Is Ninjago City alright?”

Jay’s heart started feeling cold. “It is alright. We were safe. But we wouldn’t have been… and I wouldn’t be alive… if it wasn’t for Nya. She… she made a sacrifice. She’s gone.”

There was silence among the group, and the only thing that could be heard was the crash of the sea and the cry of a single gull above it. The keeper spoke up again. “Oh… she was your Yang, was she not?”

“Yeah,” Jay choked out simply.

The speaking keeper ordered a guard to bring the information to Chief Mammatus and told the rest to continue on with their duties. He bowed to Jay. “Well, Gift of Jay, if there is anything else you may need, call for Sungker. For now you may rest in the Gift Room until you need anything.”

“Thanks, Sungker.” The boy in blue reached up to give him a pat on the shoulder, and unexpectedly felt a little welcoming static from his skin.

-

After a ride on the pulley-operated platforms that he felt bad for enjoying, Jay sat on a stiff chair in the room. He had taken a platter filled with exotic foods and drinks and was completely stuffing his face, and as he was doing so, tears fell in dozens down his face. He couldn’t stand himself. Here he had come, selfishly wishing to be treated like a king, and his faithful servant(s?) wasn’t even here to pamper the great gift. And now he was sad about it, and he hated himself for it.

What was he going to do now? How else was he going to make his mind feel numb from pain, so the only thing he felt was uplifted, praised, happy? The League of Jay wasn’t necessarily an option, since they were caught up in their own damages from the city’s fall. Where else could he possibly go- to Murtessa and the Munce? He cringed at the thought. Though he knew he would be treated like royalty among their people, he couldn’t possibly betray Nya by basking in the attention of another woman who liked him. That would be pure cruelty; slander to her name and to their relationship. He chucked a half-eaten fruit at the floor aggressively, and its juice stained the wood. It rolled sadly into a crack.

Jay caught his reflection in the platter and stared at it angrily. His tear-worn face snarled back at him without hesitation, all emotions having been let loose. He stood up and set the platter down gently on the chair. He sniffed and dragged his knuckles across his freckled nose, now a menacing red. “I need to go for a walk,” he expressed shakily.

The inside of the room had been lit with electric lamps after the sky had gone dark. Jay left them going as he made his way to the door and slowly pulled it open. But instead of the view of the jungle he had expected to see from the deck, he was looking into the slitted eyes of a very sweaty beast. Its body pulsed back and forth with a pant, and its light green scales shimmered menacingly in the moonlight. In its huge mouth was a gently gripped, large, brown coconut.

“Oh, Zippy! The hell are you-?” The dragon nudged his snout into Jay's torso, pushing him back with the force. Zippy dropped the slimy fruit on the ground beside him and bowed like a dog.

Jay’s gloved hands picked up the nasty ball. “Not really the time for this right now, bud,” he said with a soft smile, giving Zippy a few pats on the head with the other hand. He reeled back his arm and then sent the coconut flying past their heads and over the railing, leaving bits of slobber behind from the velocity. Jay wiped his hand on his gi as he walked on the deck and around the corner, but once again came face-to-face with the reptile.

“I mean, what did I expect?” Jay sighed, comforted by the presence of the good-hearted creature. He was presented with the coconut once more, and acquired it in his arm before giving Zippy a good scratch under the jaw. This nearly sent the dragon crashing over the rail by the sheer force of his dropping and rolling from the pleasure of the scratching.

The slobber-stained ninja shook his head in amusement after a small bout of startled shock. “Maybe we should play somewhere a little safer, buddy,” he suggested.

Zippy followed Jay like he had a whole cooked chicken. Eventually, Jay was far enough from the village to feel safe from destroying it and, most importantly, to feel alone. He settled himself on a formation that jutted up above the trees, with a singular light blue flower growing on its ledge. He stood so that it was shielded by his legs, as if he were keeping it safe from Zippy’s reckless ruckus. From here he could clearly see the island’s unique sky. The violent storm twisted in a ring around the island’s shores, but in the middle it parted to reveal a sphere of the clear night. Though the stars were pretty, it was the moon that gave the world light, cut into a neat half and half- ironically called a quarter moon. One side light, one side dark as a sea trench.

Jay gave the fruit a good chuck into the trees below, and Zippy rather ungracefully dove into the jungle to give chase. He realized how good it felt to throw something with such great force at the moment. Jay gazed a bit at the hands that had done it all, from the throwing to the fighting. They were settled in flexible gloves cut at the fingers, which had not been washed for days; gloves which had usually gotten such good care when possible.

Zippy returned back with the coconut in due time. “You know,” Jay said, patting Zippy’s nose, “I always wondered why they called it a coconut when botanically, it’s a fruit.”

The dragon tilted his head, confused at the boy’s matter-of-fact tone. But soon enough he forgot and began spinning in circles, begging for the sacred fruit-fetching ritual to continue to take place.

Jay threw again, laughing at his antics. He envied how simply the creature perceived things, with a brain and heart so, well, simple. It must have been easy living simply. All you needed to do was munch the plentiful fruit of the isle, amuse yourself with a ball, and make friends with everyone you came across.

When Zippy returned from a few more tosses, Jay put his hands on his knees, starting to really breathe a bit. “I think that’s enough for me for now,” he said. The beast gave him big puppy eyes, noticing the tire in his tone, but Jay did not relent. He turned to head back to the village, but the dragon settled into the ground quickly in a curve that blocked him. Zippy shifted his head into his claws, seemingly happy to take a break himself.

“Well, I guess I could stay a little while,” Jay decided, plopping himself into a safe spot against the dragon’s body. His thin legs still surrounded the patch of grass that the flower was growing from. He guessed he developed some sort of attachment to the little thing.

The ninja suddenly heard a deep resounding crack beside him, and the grunts of a confused Zippy. “Huh?” He twisted over to see what was happening, and within seconds, he understood. The dragon snorted and began shaking his head and spitting, sending sticky bits of fruit flying from left to right. Zippy hadn’t been paying attention to the pressure he was putting on the coconut while he was resting, and his powerful jaw had crushed the thing to smithereens.

“No, Zippy! But the coconut! It was yours… it’s all gone now!” For reasons inexplicable to him, Jay’s face started suddenly scrunching again, ugly wetness trickling endlessly from his eyes. “Now what are we gonna do? I-” he sniffed- “you broke it!”

Zippy pressed his head against Jay’s side gently, not forcefully careless like before. The dragon sighed slowly, a peaceful sound reminiscent of a comforting whisper. Jay grabbed onto the sides of his face and pressed himself against his forehead, tears seeping into his scaly skin. The boy erupted into full out sobs, letting himself go in the openness of the wild jungle. And nobody saw him except for that simple creature.

After a hefty fifteen minutes, Zippy must have sensed a steady increase of calming from Jay’s crying, and removed his head from against him. He gave Jay a sloppy couple of licks across his face, possibly hoping to make him cleaner.

“I’m- I’m really sorry, boy,” Jay forced out between decreasing sniffs. He placed his hand gently on Zippy’s chin. “I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I mean, yeah, I’m going through some stuff, b-but… a coconut?”

The dragon gently pushed the boy onto the ground, and curled himself neatly up around him and the flower. He gave Jay an understanding look, no judgement in his gaze. Just sympathy. His tail flicked gently in the grass, making a nice brushing sound. After being seated, Jay rested one of his hands on Zippy’s nose and rustled the other into a pocket in his gi. He slid out his shiny half of his charm, his Yin promise, and turned it slowly in his hand. He watched the moonlight glint on its surface and flicker at the edges as he moved it.

“I just want her back,” he lamented softly.

The creature raised his scale-touched nose and sniffed the metal charm with his big nostrils. His curious eyes crossed to give it a good look.

“Yeah, I know, it looks like just a thing,” Jay said, “but I tell ya, it’s special. I helped make it. It’s really important…” he started to bittersweetly tell the story of how their Yin-Yang charms were made, and the entire crisis that was the proposal. “I know, I know, on the edge of a battle, right? But I thought I wouldn’t’ve gotten any other chance! Besides, it was cool. Suspenseful. It was like we were in a love story.”

He fell silent again for a moment, listening only to the hum of jungle bugs. He sighed again. “I guess the best love stories do always end in tragedy.”

Zippy let out a sympathetic moan, comforting Jay’s emotional state. Jay shifted his gaze back to the clouds above the sea. “I’m always gonna hold up my end of the promise, though. No matter what. I’m never gonna give up on her, Zippy. Even if things don’t ever go back.”

The dragon grunted his approval.

“Still, though. I just can’t help it. I’m always staring at the water, with super unreasonable expectations. And then I get so hopeful, and then I get let down, until I’m staring hopelessly into a pool of my own tears.” He dug his face into his knees. “It’s abysmal. I’m sorry. You’re the only pers- er, thing- I’ve talked about it with, really.”

Zippy tilted his head affectionately, and tried to nudge Jay’s out of his knees. His eye poked out from above his daily gi’s pants, shining with emotion. “Well, I guess Maya caught me crying once, but that doesn’t count.”

The dragon’s own eyes started to gain a shine, and he shook his head, blinking erratically.

Jay took his body out of its hiding position, wrapping his arms around Zippy’s face to stop his shaking. “It’s okay to cry, boy,” he soothed, and the two cried together into the night until reality faded and they were both asleep beside a perfectly intact, dew-covered flower.

-

Morning rolled around and Jay said his lighthearted goodbyes to the keepers without eating breakfast. He stood at the edge of their dock, shaking hands with Sungker as a parting exchange.

“Thanks for being so nice, Sungker. I’ll see you again soon.”

Sungker looked to his sides bashfully. “Yes, yes, of course, Gift of Jay. Perhaps next time Poultik will be here to provide more assistance?”

Jay shrugged. “I’d like to see him, but maybe next time he and I can do something a bit more… two-sided, as friends.”

He gave an approving “hmph” to the departing visitor, and waved him off as he climbed back into his sub speeder.

As Jay sped gracefully through the aggressive waves, he came to the realization that he had been needing. Somehow, it wasn’t praise or luxury that had made him forget his sorrow. In fact, it was quite the opposite, a nature-bound therapy session with a gross but loving creature, which had made him feel a lot better.

As Ninjago City rose in the distance, he remembered one more thing.

“Whoops. Forgot to tell them their amulet broke.”

[hatterstan-shameblog]

Here is the first one

Second :D

And last..he's looking at you 👀💦

ALRIGHT you know WHAT—

There’s…a lot going on here. So much so, that I have decided to create

CONTEXT

for these three images that is

COMPLETELY FAKE

because I think it’ll be a fun writing exercise. kind of a cringe move on my part, but consider: i have fun making up ridiculous lies about characters who don’t exist in real life.

(which is how I’m treating these, by the way. yes, they are pictures of kaneko nobuaki, but for my purposes, they are NOT actually him. they are distinct fictional characters who are not real.)

so if you’re feeling adventurous skip below the cut and watch me break it down:

Image 1: Accidental “Date” Makes Cousin’s Wedding Less Terrible Than Originally Expected

The year is 1999. Your cousin (who you are not particularly close to) is getting married…on a cruise ship. Your mother insists you attend. You insist upon spending 90% of your time sipping margaritas on the deck and flipping through the latest issue of Marie Claire while trying desperately not to think about the fact that you are surrounded by nothing but open ocean.

One of the (very drunk) bridesmaids tries to toss you a beach ball because you have been, and I quote: like, a total bummer this whole time. She misses. It hits the person next to you in the face. Great. Awesome. You think: well now who’s being, like, a total bummer?

Luckily the person who got hit in the face laughs the entire thing off. He says your friends seem…’lively.’ You say that’s pretty rich coming from a guy who looks like a rejected member of ‘The Clash.’ He insists that he left them, not the other way around.

You slip into conversation. You tell him that you’re here for a wedding. He offers his condolences. You accept them. He says he actually likes weddings—something about two people making a life-changing commitment speaks to him on a soul-level. That and the open bar, of course.

You suggest he crash the wedding. He says he’s not sure if he can make it—there’s a shuffleboard tournament that evening that he would just hate to miss, plus the latest issue of Soap Opera Digest is waiting on his bedside table just begging to be opened. You say that’s perfectly understandable, but, if he suddenly finds himself caught up on the latest All My Children gossip, he can meet you back here at four.

Surprise, surprise: he shows up. He’s wearing the same shirt he was before, but buttoned up this time—and with one of the most hideous neckties you’ve ever seen, which he apparently borrowed from the kind old man next door. Instead of complimenting his attire (because it is truly un-compliment-able), you take the opportunity to mention that this is a Titanic-themed wedding. He says that having a Titanic-themed wedding on a cruise ship is “kind of fucked up” and you solemnly agree.

Everyone is very surprised and pleased to see that you’ve brought a date—even the bride, who tells you that you’re “just like Jack and Rose.” You agree, much to her delight…until you say that, if the ship goes down, you also won’t share the door and let him freeze to death in the icy water. He insists he’d be the guy who jumps off the ship and hits his leg on the propellor—that’s his favorite part of the whole movie, and it’d be an honor to re-enact the scene.

The wedding is…a wedding. Vows, toasts, pictures—and you’re sipping champagne through the entire thing. The two of you spend the evening getting completely wasted and telling everyone a different story about just who your ‘mystery date’ is. Highlights include: the captain’s unruly son whose been tasked with following in his father’s sea-faring footsteps; professional cave-diver who discovered a new species of slug and is spending his reward money on a nice vacation; head of marketing who gives all those clever names to the nail polishes at OPI; the guy who folds everyone’s towels into animal shapes.

You end up where you started: on neighboring lounge chairs, with a margarita, and talking to this stranger who has recently crossed into “acquaintance” territory. You chat about how “My Heart Will Go On” is actually a good song, and he promises not to tell anyone that you said that. He also says that this is the best Titanic-themed cruise ship wedding he’s ever been to, and he can’t wait until somebody decides to do Jaws.

Eventually, you both stagger back to your rooms with promises of seeing each other at breakfast. Unfortunately, you have the worst hangover of your life the next morning and even the thought of ‘breakfast’ makes you want to roll over and die, so you don’t manage to stumble out of bed until it’s time to disembark.

You see him at port, and you each offer each other a little wave before going your separate ways. Six weeks later, you get a Polaroid of the two of you together, sitting at the bar and laughing at something that must have been very, very hilarious.

You don’t remember most of what happened that night, but you remember it was not as terrible as it could have been.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Image 2: Extremely Weird Guy On The Street Has You Questioning Your Sanity

It’s 6:00 in the morning—a truly terrible time to be awake, but a necessary evil. Your flight leaves at 10, and since it’s an international thing, you want to make sure you get there in plenty of time to get to your gate (and maybe sample all the fancy perfumes you can’t afford at one of those high-end stores that are always in airports.)

The streets are mostly empty, save for a few random pedestrians and a handful of passed-out salarymen snoozing on the curb. The sky a rainy gray-blue as the sun tries to rise behind the springtime cloud cover—it’s no doubt going to be another dismal day, as is common during this time of year. Hopefully there’s not too much turbulence on your flight…

You stop at a crosswalk, waiting for the little walking man signal to show up on the light across the way. You’re soon joined by another person—a man in a soft-looking jacket who supplies you with a small “good morning” bob of his head. You respond in kind, throwing in a small smile for good measure. It’s nice that he too understands that it’s entirely too early to be having any kind of conversation, even if it is just a simple verbal greeting between strangers on a street corner.

The light changes, and you both begin your trek across the street. Your fellow walker is faster than you—or, more likely, has longer legs and, ergo, a longer stride than your own—and is nearly halfway across by the time you get your wheeled suitcase over the curb. He seems decent enough. You hope he’s going somewhere nice.

It’s then that you make the mistake of looking up. It would have been much better if you had just continued watching the white painted lines on the road and thinking about how it reminds you of piano keys—and how you hated the six months of piano lessons your parents forced you to take in the first grade.

But no. You noticed someone walking towards you, and you just had to look up.

The first thing you notice is a rainbow tie-dye shirt. The second thing you notice is that the rainbow tie-dye shirt is on a very cheerful looking gentleman, who seemed to be bobbing his head in time with a song only he could hear.

The third thing you notice—and this one’s the real kicker—is the large blue-and-green reptile sitting on his shoulder. It’s bulging eyes are hooded in pleasure as it’s red-pink tongue darts out to eat the green something—maybe a grape or a small piece of melon?—from the rainbow tie-dye man’s hand. It is nothing short of a spectacle, honestly, and you feel a piece of your sanity evaporate.

The rainbow tie-dye man continues on, uncaring of your confused stare at his strange pet. You even turn around to make sure that you weren’t somehow hallucinating, and sure enough, there is definitely some kind of creature draped over this stranger’s shoulder. It’s tail even sways in time with the man’s steps, which is both cute and confusing.

Because it would not do to stand in the middle of the street all day, considering the existence of rainbow tie-dye man and his exotic pet, you do the only thing you can do: turn back around and continue on your journey. You need a coffee. Maybe with an extra shot of espresso, after witnessing whatever the hell that was. Something to set you right again.

“Was that…?”

The other man—the soft-coat long-stride one—is speaking low enough as to not draw attention, but loud enough for you to hear as you make your way towards the sidewalk. His expression reads ‘concerned, but trying not to show it’ which you suppose is the polite and mature way of handling the situation.

“…an iguana? Yeah,” you answer him, “I saw it too.”

The man’s brow furrows. His mouth puckers into a small frown as he considers…well, something.

“…Okay, then,” he concludes, shrugging his shoulders, “Hell of a way to start the day.”

“Yeah.”

And you both continue on your way. He turns left at the next intersection, you turn right—but even though your paths may now be different, you will forever share an unbreakable bond over the fantastical sight you’ve witnessed today.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Image 3: Near Death Experience At Open Mic Night

You are not a poet.

Well, not professionally, anyways. You’ve been known to dabble in the written word, often scribbling little snippets of rhyme in a notebook over your lunch break or tapping a verse or two into the notes app on your phone. It a kind of outlet, you suppose—a way to keep the creative energy that bubbles inside of you from boiling over.

It’s also worth mentioning that you are not a confident public speaker. Not since that unfortunate incident in the third grade where you forgot the single line you had in the school play and ran off stage, tears streaming down your face and—actually, no, you’re not going to think about that right now. Or ever again, hopefully.

So when your (tipsy) coworkers decide that it’s a good idea to push you onto the stage at the local dive bar’s open mic night—while shouting at you to “read the one about the night-blooming jasmine”—you freeze up. There are at least seven strangers staring at you, expectation rising with every passing second of your inaction. It’s nerve-wracking in the way that the third-grade incident was not, and you gulp against the nervousness that rises in your throat.

Shaking hands scroll frantically through your phone, looking for the requested poem—and after a few agonizing moments, you manage to find it. Your voice cracks rather embarrassingly as you begin to read, trying your damndest to get the words out right so you can slink back to the bar and drown the rest of the night in Chardonnay.

Everything is going well—or, at least, as well as can be expected—until you notice that the room is suddenly feeling very hot. That’s the last coherent thought you have before the room goes dark and everything falls silent.

Next thing you know, you’re staring at the ceiling. A man who you do not know is leaning over you, and his mouth is moving—oh, he’s probably trying to say something to you, but it’s very difficult to tell what he’s saying over the throbbing pain in the back of your head.

You ask him if you’re dead. It’s a possibility after all, that you’ve somehow died and landed yourself in some kind of special public-speaking hell. That’s what this feels like, anyways.

The man says no, you are not dead. You say ‘dammit’ in response. He tries to hold back laughter, offering to help you up by extending his hand. You take it and—ouch, ugh, ew, going from laying to standing is not a fun experience.

You thank him (albeit awkwardly) for helping you up, and he insists that ‘it’s cool.’ Passing out in front of an audience is not even remotely cool, but you nod and thank him again, anyways.

Before you’re able to converse with the helpful stranger any further, your coworkers have come to collect you. You are whisked away by someone from accounting, who offers to escort you home—an offer you gladly accept, very excited to leave the site of your failure behind you.

Safe to say, you never go back to that particular bar again.