#maybe they bonded after everything & after losing so many people???? it's a possibility at least

[shadowgamed]

also i am SO desperate to throw my mana at someone's kaiba but like. she has all of her past life memories of him, but he's still in denial that he had a past life at all (or is at a point in canon near the start when he has no idea about it??)

[hiddenmoonbeam]

yesterday's comphet awards made me think about how i've known for like 10 years that i'm more into women than men, so this isn't the same but either case i clearly needed to write this down so:

i'm 31, almost 32 now, and i've never had a relationship or anything that comes with that. i'm queer, and i live in one of the safest countries for people like us. but i don't know how gay girls find each other. when i finally worked up the courage to try dating apps shortly before the pandemic hit i only had girls as an option because guys felt too scary. i've tried several times. but living in sweden clearly doesn't mean it's easy anyway, at least not when it's in the north because there are so few i keep swiping through everyone until there's no more available. and then you barely match with anyone, and when you do no one speaks first, and when you do talk she stops responding... and the few dates i have been on didn't lead anywhere, because of course it takes time to find the right one, and being on the ace spectrum is so confusing because i don't know if i just need to give it more time but i guess if we don't even bond as friends it's probably not going to change later either...

anyway, so frustration has twice made me add men on tinder as well. because maybe i just need to give them a chance too right? and there are sooo many, so many, jesus, with only girls i had like... "5 people liked you" and within minutes of having guys too there were 99+

so i swipe and i try I TRY ALRIGHT but. men. are so. so uninteresting. i feel nothing. but i don't feel super much about random women either, sure women are generally prettier, it's much easier for me to think a woman is hot than a man, but still, maybe it's the demi thing, maybe i would feel more with time, i have had feelings for guys before so??? (and some specific fictional men are so fine, so maybe, right??)

yeah so. this year (after several overwhelming chats with different guys and one awkward date with one i definitely didn't want to meet again) i ended up forcing myself to date a guy the entire summer. he was nice, and also inexperienced and slow, and he knew i was unsure but i still felt like such an asshole. because in truth i wanted to go home whenever we met. i cried before and after. but i didn't know if it was because i was scared in general because everything was new and i have shit self-esteem and being demi is so difficult when i want so much and i was so worried i'd end it too soon and lose the chance i had + depression and anxiety flared up so bad because of all this so like. everything was shit.

like, in hindsight it's so obvious it wasn't right. it made me spiral deeper into depression again. but i can't really regret it either because maybe i needed this to realize some things, and now at least i've done more than 2 dates with the same person, i've talked with someone about (lack of) experience and how we feel, i've had someone interested in me who wanted more if i'd wanted it too. i've felt excited at the possibility of being kissed, even asked for it finally just to know, and yeah it was just a small peck and it was boring and barely counts tbh but it was something and now i've done that. and i've also had the very weird experience of a guy sitting close with his arm around me and gently brushing his fingers over my arm, and asking if the closeness turned me on... and while it was okay and nice, like he wasn't creepy or anything, i still felt nothing. so while well aware that yeah he was definitely feeling things, i truthfully said "no". which was probably an important experience to have also, to have done that, and to have met a guy who didn't make me feel unsafe about or because of it. because that's another thing, thinking that maybe my hesitations about men was only a fear of ending up with a bad one. and maybe that still plays a part, but also.... god i'm so clearly more gay than bi.

and i think i really did know that already, yet i did all of this anyway, forced myself to try. because finding a girlfriend had proven so fucking difficult, maybe i simply did have to be less picky and more open about men also.

idk how to end this, i don't have a well-thought-out point to make, and i dunno if anyone will even read all this but i'll post it for myself anyway. and just in case someone who ends up reading it feels similar, maybe you're in your 20s or later and feel like everyone else gets to experience romance and sex while you're left behind... well. maybe it doesn't help, but you're not alone. and i'm not alone either, even though it feels like it. just wanted to say that <3

also next time i get tinder im back to only girls.

[esterzach]

I love digging through things, listening, or reading people's thoughts about how they perceive the things they watch. There is always something new, something that will lead to a new angle, a new way of seeing things, or an idea. Even if it's the opposite opinion, it can lead to the point where I can change my mind about one thing or make solidify an opinion ( out of simple stubbornness sometimes). The need for a dialog and conversation makes things clearer. Almost always. Different opinions are precious. One word or expression can lead to a new perspective.

Unlike many, I love the whole drama between Moiraine and Lan in the first two episodes. But these two have known each other for 20 years. So that seems... stupid? Unlike them maybe...

From the beginning of S1, Moiraine's depression was expected. Her being mean to Lan though... I get at some point lashing out to your closest when you are hurt and there is no one to blame... Still, that was her attitude for the last 6 months? And she is vicious. It's not only cutting him off and not talking to him. And he sees through that right away and rightfully so is pissed off. Because it is offensive, to exclude someone who walked and fought shoulder to shoulder with you, shared everything, all of a sudden sending the message that he is not that important. 

It gets worse. She is implying this is not something new. She was withholding things from him for a while, maybe since the beginning, or at least that's what she wanted him to think, keeping him in the dark about many things. That line bothered me "We've never walked this path together. You've never seen the forest for the trees, because I've never shown it to you." He knows about their mission everything, he needs to know. Well, at least up until 6 months ago, when she was skipping a couple of things. Like Rand being alive and Ishamael being freed. Even when she says that it still feels that it's not enough. That statement goes for a lot more than this. (And we know now that there is more that she hides - that she released the Bond and she had been preparing that for quite some time). Now that is enough material to be angry and offended at if you had complete trust in someone for many years. Hell, they are in each other's heads. How is that even possible? To be so blind, so deceived. And he loses it. Anyone would be furious. But even after that, he is still there, still telling her "I am not letting you walk away from me again". Her "I know" says a lot. The unspoken "That's why I am going to go further." The threat to take away his choice and hurt him, make him go with someone else by force is genuine, she will do it.

She is actively aiming to piss him off landing blow after blow. All the time.  And it works. Because he eventually gets to a place where he asks: "I swore myself to you, because I trusted you. Because I thought we were in this together. Equals. That was never true, was it, Moiraine?" "We were never equals." Most of us see right through it. After the initial WTF, woman?! How could she say that?, there was the "Oh, she means she always thought she was better than him!" Especially since that comes right after their previous conversation where she downright tells how she chose him for her Warder. Because he was braver than her. One last moment of honesty, one last present for the road. And she sends him away. She knows he will ignore that little moment until much later, that he will be too distracted now, will focus on the other matter - that she sends him away. He will be distracted enough to ignore her words, until much later when he is calm and goes through their conversations, and will remember that confession and it will eventually realize the meaning behind words. That memory walk was placed there on purpose. We hear it, but because we aren't that angry with her, we weren't treated like we were inferior for months, we get it. He doesn't. And that's the plan.

Moiraine understands he knows her well and sees what she is trying to do, and her trying to push him away or try to make him leave her would never work. He will see through her, and ignore her. He is angry at her, but he is still there. She had her confirmation - she tried to leave and he followed her, and they were almost killed. That probably served to make her feel she was right about her plan.  And she landed the last blow with "We've never walked this path together." And that leads him right where she wanted him to be. In order for "We were never equals" to be perceived as it was from him, she had to undermine his confidence in the meaning of their relationship, of their mission, of the way she sees him. She had to erode his confidence in her, to make him doubt about how she actually thinks of him. With lines like "Door" or "I'll have my dinner here". This is not the writers enhancing Moiraine's unpleasant features from the book, because they were never there in the show at all. I feel like unless she needs to behave like that in some situations, she avoids consciously this type of behaviour, because she doesn't like it. Treating people like servants must leave a bad taste, considering her origins and her stay in The Tower and she never used it before. Now she does. And blatantly at that. She is pulling off this to Lan of all people. And she needs to do that for quite a while, so it looks believable to him. Everyone eventually will get tired of certain behaviours, no matter how patient they are. And it works. Just for a while though. 

[okthatsgreat]

hiii okay i just started reading opddmh and i was wondering if you have any thoughts about komaru and toko's relationship and udg in relation to the virtual reality au you're writing? :3c they are so precious to me and if u dont have any thoughts on it thats fine!! just wondering <3 have a good day!!

OOOO DEFINITELY !!! nothing too complex or thought out but ive definitely got some thoughts on it >:)

first things first ultra despair girls is most certainly some kind of spinoff in this universe! so its not considered a main storyline/killing game however it is still on ongoing series! i imagine after 53 seasons the danganronpa timeline has been seriously fucked up and udg is absolutely one of the main reasons its so wonky, you can IMAGINE all of the conspiracy youtube videos trying to piece that shit together lmfaooooo. but yep udg is a running spinoff series starring toko, komaru, and the warriors of hope (who are teenagers in this au at this point!!). it also features a range of other villains and side characters that were introduced later on :] udg definitely isnt as popular nor is it as consistent in its production as the main danganronpa story is (while danganronpa has at least one season per year, udg has one maybe every three), but it still gets a whole lot of views !! which means toko and komaru are unfortunately in it for the long haul </3

they live seperate from each other however they're over at each others apartments so often that they basically live together LMFAO. they rely on each other SO so heavily. i personally think they have romantic feelings somewhere underneath their fear of losing each other to the mental trauma of danganronpa however there is NO WAY danganronpa would ever let them be a couple. the most theyre allowed to do is queerbait ghfdsjkghjkdf. if they confirm anything between the pair they are destroying an entire market of fans they can profit off of and also likely losing hella sponsorship money. its extremely difficult navigating a relationship like that, where they have become so heavily codependent on each other not only because their wellbeing relies on the other being healthy and well but also because they've grown so close it's impossible to imagine a future where the other isnt involved somehow. everything danganronpa has put them through, it has usually been TOGETHER, which means they've bonded through those experiences. is that healthy? absolutely the fuck it is not however there is no time or space to navigate that or to spend time away from each other (even if they wanted to, which they don't)!!

the pair stay relatively close with the warriors of hope-- or at least komaru does lmfaooo. like i said before the warriors of hope are teenagers at this point (honestly theyre probably mius age!! which sparks a lot of hypothetical interactions LMAO) so they dont really need babysitters or anything like that but because there are not very many people who could possibly understand what they've gone through they tend to stick together!! a few of them, at least. i imagine nagisa is a lot more distant and kotoko probably has other friends she talks to a whole ton :] people that arent constant walking reminders of her current and past traumas lol

komaru also doesnt talk to makoto as often anymore! they kind of keep in touch and definitely see each other at press conferences and all that, but the relationship has become somewhat strained. its a bit awkward knowing they arent actually related!! theyre still kind to each other and care about each other like actual siblings but its hard not to feel sad around the other unfortunately :(

and toko definitely doesnt talk to byakuya much anymore besides the occasional promotional material LMFAO. they dont despise each other but both have done a lot of growing and a lot of that included distancing themselves from each other

SORRY IF THAT WAS MORE THAN YOU ASKED FOR!!! THANK YOU <33

[blissfullybloomed]

We made it, and we want more!

Today is December 5th 2023, it's raining outside here in Ohio.

Super Seattle day. It's beautiful. 

Today's entry comes from my sister's couch, and as always we're going deep- so buckle up. 

This platform, Tumblr, has been a sanctuary for me this year. I started this blog August 5th,  and shared some very intimate things about my life with you. Today will be no different, other than…today will be my last entry…at least for a while. Maybe, I'll come back and reread these entries from time to time and reflect on the lessons I've learned, and the lessons I've help teach. Call it , “taking a book from the shelf”- thankyou.  I have learned through life there are seasons for everything, and the season for this blog in this space has ended. So let's peel back the layers one more time, and then close the book on this chapter of my life. 

I want to ask a really big question today: What is your WHY?

What's your WHY in your career? 

What's your WHY on your spouse choice?

What's your WHY on your hobbies? 

What's your WHY on your beliefs?

Today, we're going to talk about getting back to the basics, and your WHY. 

This is the biggest lesson I've learned throughout my healing journey. 

When you are on a journey ( no matter what the journey is), you always have to establish the WHY first right? Why are you going to change…why are you leaving a relationship?...Why are you leaving your family? Why did you choose to stop drinking? Why did you choose to lose weight? You get the point. 

The reason behind the WHY pushes us forward and our thoughts now become actions. Actions become behaviors, and so on and so on. 

Here's the thing tho…figuring out the WHY is the hardest…at least it was for me. 

After July of 2022, I didn't know the answer to my WHY anymore. My sister died. She died and my entire life just stopped. I couldn't function anymore. It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve the cards she was dealt.  She just left. Everything changed. Everything facet of my life at that exact moment was broken. I was broken. I was angry. I was hurt. I was lost. I was so lost. Have you ever tried to open your eyes after getting deep sleep, and you can't because they are stuck together? That's what my life felt like then…I was stuck. The ONLY thing that kept me going were my friends in massage school. Thank you guys. Some days…my friends weren't enough to get me out of the dark. 

I was stuck. 

Fins glued to the floor. 

I chose to stay stuck for a very long time. Grief has a way of just ruling your life for a while…until you choose to remember the good. Until you chose to remember her laugh, and all the joy she brought to SO many people. My sister touched the lives of people around the world. And I will tell you that I know now…that she is my WHY. My sisters are my WHY. They always have been. 

My sisters and I have been through some things that sisters should not have to go through. They are unspeakable things. 

Our bond is completely unbreakable. Thank you for holding me up when I couldn't even stand. 

We are all very different people now as adults than we were as children. We are each other's saving grace. We are each other's best friends. Jess still lives in all of us, differently, and it bonds us together. 

With all that in mind, I figured out my WHY, and instantly changed my life for the better. No questions asked, and no plan…I just knew I had to get home. Ohio is home. Family is home. 

Never in a million years, did I think I'd live with my sister and her wife at 35 years old, in Ohio. But man, it was the BEST decision Ive made in my entire life. No questions asked. 

So when you figure out your WHY. Run towards it, as fast as you possibly can. 

2023- We made it…and we want more! 

Here's to 2024! Happy Holidays to you and yours this year!

[todayisafridaynight]

Daigo has so many genuine connections, all these people who would stand by him regardless of if Tojo still exists. It just sort of feels like it plays to the way Masato is just chronically blind to the love around him and the strength of Ichiban's whole thing and surrounds himself purely with transactional relationships. It's the way Mine viewed the world before he met Daigo, but Masato is purposefully cultivating this environment around himself. Masato HAD those bonds where Mine didn't, but Masato's "those who use and those who are used" still feels like a worse distillation of Mine's philosophy, or at least that the two rhyme even if they aren't the same. Daigo originally defying Mine's worldview led to a longing to understand it and be a part of it; Daigo defying Masato's would probably just lead to more seething lol. Tojo going away, not only is just 'oops daigo already planned on that' robbing Masato of the satisfaction, idk it just further highlights that without being wrapped up in the status of Chair that these people are still with Daigo. Aoki bought his connections through lies and money and destroyed the only ones he sincerely had by following "use or be use" to its end, but Daigo could just fuck off anywhere he wanted and still have not just friendship but as Masato might see it absolute loyalty (esp in a Mine lives scenario; Aoki's lil pet bastard Kume's devotion is absolutely a speck vs **Mine** ). Both Aoki and Daigo can lose their positions of power, but its only Masato who feels like he's lost everything. sdfklfsjld idk goodbye anyway the brainrot is strong please keep going I'm here for every second

OK BUT LIKE. ALL OF THIS. ABOVE MY FIREPLACE AND FRAMED

the note bout mine and masato's worldviews IS SUCH an interesting point too: in essence they both believed the same thing (genuine bonds are a myth and people only use each other), it was just that mine held onto the small hope that he'd be wrong one day. by the time daigo does prove him wrong, he's almost automatically willing to accept it. his problem is that he became so attached to daigo that when the possibility of him being taken away became real, he went off the deep end

in masato's case. Lord he's a field day to explore psychologically maybe in another post, but he did have those bonds mine wanted so earnestly for more than half his life, exactly. ever since arakawa saved him- hell, even after sawashiro realized the life he inflicted upon him, masato was showered with nothing but love from the arakawa family. it's a wonder that despite that fact, masato still insisted he was neglected and alone. settling for relationships he knew were fake and for the most part temporary, he wanted to protect himself- he didn't want to be attached and become hurt and vulnerable again

it really is a cruel twist for masato and daigo and how they end up: despite daigo actually having grown up alone, that didn't stop him from having a warm and inviting attitude towards people and giving him a sizable amount of people who'd follow him to the ends of the earth. inversely, masato had become greedy and wanted more adoration, even if it was superficial or surface level.

[casspurrjoybell-19]

Does it Matter? - Chapter 62 - Part 3

*Warning Adult Content*

"Are you saying... did Kar survive?"

Dara's father smiled, a gentle warmth in his eyes as he pointed towards a far field.

"She survives still. An old horse now but we wanted to keep her line going. We needed to make sure there'd still be a part of her here for you to come back to, no matter how long it took."

Dara's heart yearned to race out into the field, to lay eyes on Kar and feel the connection they once shared.

But he couldn't leave, not now, not with the tension between his parents and the men still palpable in the air.

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Dara forced himself to stay rooted in place.

"I would very much like to see her again later."

"I don't know if she will recognise you but she does remember you," Dara's mother assured him.

"I can see it in her eyes even now. She's never forgotten."

Dara blinked back the tears that stung his eyes, his voice wavering as he tried to find the right words.

"I'm sorry. I've thought of this moment, about coming back, so many times but now that it's actually happening, it's almost too overwhelming to fully process. Thank you for not forgetting about me. For never giving up."

Dara's father placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

"A parent never gives up on their child."

Dara dipped his head, nodding as he struggled to find the words.

"I wish I could be in two places at once, that I could stay here without abandoning the journey I'm on or the bonds I've formed but knowing that you're here, that you're safe... it heals a wound I've carried deep in my soul for so long."

"We've dreamt of this moment for so long but... Dara," his mother said, a hint of worry creeping into her voice.

"Are you saying you can't stay?"

Dara shook his head, his expression pained.

"I can't. Not yet. Maybe someday but right now... there's too much left unfinished."

"You would rather go with this man..." Dara's mother cast a venomous glare towards Maric, her words dripping with disdain.

"This man who carries the stain of what has been done to our people? To you?"

"Ma..." Dara said, meeting her gaze with open vulnerability.

"He's the only one who can stop it."

"But will he?" she demanded, her voice rising.

"When he sits on that throne, when the crown rests upon his head, what makes you think he'll spare a single thought for our suffering?"

Dara's voice was steady, unwavering.

"Because I trust him. After everything I've endured, do you think that trust comes easily? Do you believe there's any shred of naivety left in me?"

"No, Dara but..."

She looked away.

"Anyone can be wrong."

Dara watched her, waiting until she met his gaze once more.

"Including you."

A deep sigh escaped her lips, the weight of the world pressing down on her.

"Perhaps but I can't bear the thought of losing you again, of risking my son for this."

"How many others have lost their children?" Dara asked, his voice soft but insistent. "

We can bring them home. We can build a life without fear."

"And why do they need you for that?" she challenged, desperation creeping into her tone.

"Why can't your journey end here, with us?"

"Because it's more than duty that binds me. It's love. These men may be strangers to you, the enemy but to me... they're so much more. I can't leave them behind."

She shook her head.

"I don't understand how you could feel that way about them."

"Then you understand perfectly how someone could steal our children and enslave them," Dara said, his words cutting through the air.

"When you decide that someone is lesser because of their blood, anything becomes possible."

Her expression hardened.

"It's not the same. We've done nothing to them. Why should we open our hearts?"

"I don't expect you to," Dara said softly.

"But I hope you can understand or at least accept, the choice I have to make. I have to see this through."

Dara's father spoke up, a wry smile tugging at his lips.

"You always were stubborn," he said, his voice tinged with fondness.

"It's what got you caught in the first place. Making your own choices, even when no one else agreed. There'll be no stopping you now."

He met his wife's gaze, his eyes pleading. "And if we spend what little time we have trying, we might lose our chance to be with him at all."

Dara's mother clucked her tongue and looked away, silence stretching between them for a long moment before she turned back to Dara.

"I'll take Kaerth out and fetch Kar for you. If you're set on leaving again, you'd better let her see you first."

As he passed her the reins, Maric spoke up.

"Will you let me buy Kaerth from you? I gave her to Dara but I realise now that she wasn't mine to give."

Swinging up onto Kaerth's back, Dara's mother shook her head.

"She wasn't but by some stroke of luck bordering on the divine, you gave her to her rightful owner. There's no debt to be paid."

"I thought it a grand gesture at the time but now it feels less so. It would be hard for any other gift to compare, though."

"The thing about grand gestures..." Dara's mother said, her voice softening slightly.

"Is that the feeling behind them is all that truly matters. If you had only given her up now, out of obligation, it would have meant little. Giving her up by choice was the grand gesture, regardless of what followed."

Maric offered her a smile.

"I see where Dara gets his wisdom."

"I just hope the decisions he's making regarding you are wise ones," she told him before turning Kaerth and riding out towards the fields.

Turning to Dara's father, Maric asked...

"Can we set up our tents on your land? If you'll have us, we'd like to stay the night at least."

Dara's father nodded, his expression guarded but not unkind.

"If Dara's attached to you, then we won't send you away. You can stay as long as you like, though we can only do so much towards food. You're a lot of mouths to feed."

"We wouldn't expect it," Maric assured him.

"If you have supplies you can spare, we can pay for them. We have unstamped coin."

"We'll give what we can spare freely. What we can't, if you want it, you can pay for. It's a bit of a ride to the nearest city but we do supply runs regularly, so it's not overly burdensome."

"We'd appreciate that. I'll have you work out the details with one of my men. I'm not the one with the closest eye on our logistical concerns."

Dara's father nodded.

"We'll sort it out later. Right now, I need to go and find Seren and help her round up the rest of the family. We don't want any confusion about what's happening here."

Maric inclined his head.

"I would request that you keep my status quiet, if at all possible. If word gets out, it could put Dara in danger."

"Well, we'll make our decisions around that as we see fit but we'll do it with a mind towards keeping Dara safe."

"That's all I would ask."

As Dara's father left, Dara gazed out into the field, watching the distant figure of his mother standing by as two horses galloped together in joyous reunion.

Dara shut his eyes and drew in a deep breath, the particular smell of grass and horse taking him back in time to when he was a child.

Part of him wished he could just take a step forward and slip back into that life, wished this could truly be his home in the way that a similar place had been his home all those years ago but he knew that wasn't possible.

That life didn't belong to the person he was now and he didn't belong to it.

He had his own life now and though it was full of greater challenges than he'd faced in his youth, he wouldn't wish to exchange it.

Not for anything.

As his mother started back towards them on Kaerth's back, another horse following close behind, Dara set aside his wistful thoughts.

His eyes were drawn to the beautiful animals and he followed the fence-line, stopping short of the gate to allow his mother to lead them through without Kar bristling at the presence of a stranger.

Familiarity stirred in Dara's chest as Kar passed him by, though time had left its mark on her.

Her back was dipped, her muscles less firm than they had once been and her coat was duller, greyed around the muzzle.

Keeping a respectful distance, Dara followed as his mother led Kar into a pen.

"Don't be hurt if she doesn't recognize you," Dara's mother warned as she passed by to let Kaerth loose in the closest field to graze.

"You were just a boy when you left."

Dara shook his head, his voice soft and filled with wonder.

"Just seeing her is more than I ever dared to hope for."

As he slowly approached the fence of the pen, Kar eyed him from across the way, her nostrils flaring.

She wasn't scared.

Yenkarth never were.

They knew their strength and if they decided you were a threat, they wouldn't flee.

"Hey, Kar," Dara murmured, his tone gentle and soothing.

"I know you might not remember me but we used to be the best of friends, you and me. We learned to ride together, went on adventures side by side. I thought I'd never lay eyes on you again."

Kar approached him slowly, ears held back and Dara offered her his hand.

If she decided she didn't like him, she would bite but that was a minor concern for a healer.

Yenkarth respected confidence.

Perhaps that had been how Maric had won Kaerth over.

Sure, Maric had his own doubts and troubles to work through but he carried himself with the authority one would expect of a prince.

It was only in his most unguarded moments that his vulnerabilities showed through.

As Kar sniffed his outstretched hand, her ears almost pinned, Dara braced himself for the possibility of losing a finger but the moment stretched on and she didn't act.

Instead, she inched closer to him, sniffing up his arm.

Dara let out a whistle, a quick oscillation up and down, a unique command he had created just for her when they were young.

He watched as her ears relaxed and swivelled, listening intently.

He repeated the whistle and she surged closer, sniffing his chest, his neck, his face.

Dara laughed, pure joy bubbling up from within and he brought a hand up to stroke her muzzle.

To his delight, she allowed it.

He couldn't be certain if she truly remembered him.

Horses weren't as obvious as dogs, who might loudly and dramatically lose their minds upon greeting a long-absent friend but whether she recognised him as her missing master or simply as a new friend, it was enough.

Dara spoke to her softly, his fingers running gently over her muzzle.

Eventually, he let his mother lead her back out into the field to graze with Kaerth.

By the time he rejoined the others, they had started putting up the tents, so he lent a hand.

He wasn't as efficient at the process, nor did he have quite the strength of the other men when it came to tasks such as hammering in pegs, but none of that really mattered.

They weren't in a hurry.

Dara knew that soon there would be more people to talk to, more emotions to navigate but for now, he was grateful for this moment of peace, a chance to catch up with his own thoughts and process the whirlwind of feelings that swirled within him.

[dearweirdme]

You know what I don't understand in all of this is the contradictory behaviour. Let me put it simply.

Why does Taehyung need this kind of PR to drive engagement when he is successful without this kind of buzz? Before you say why not? There is a difference between Kpop and western artists. For short term this may work wonders but the way people look at BTS is so different than how they look upto other artists. Is it worth it to lose your credibility/trust for short term engagement? Has other members not successful enough without all this?

Second, assuming he is a queer and wants to hide rumour about that. So staging a straight relationship cool. Then why does he drop so many hints about LGBTQ comm. I am not saying he has no right to share and show how he feels but I am wondering if he and company thinks his gay rumours are getting out of hand (though I didn't hear anything) then it's better to tone down then to take this kind of step.

Someone said this way he and Jungkook would be able to roam freely. I sometimes feels would it be alright to humiliate people who supported them from so many years because you believe it or not taekookers are going to get bashed more after these rumours. I mean it's okay people have choice to leave or to stay but there would come a time when taekook might need support to come out if ever. That would be a huge hurdle if this kind of nonsense prevails.

I don't know if I am able to explain my issue. I am attached to BTS not because they are great singer and stuff. Objectively, there are artists who sing better. Beyond artistry BTS has connection with their fans because they resonate with people. There is that one particular quality every member has that people connect with. In case of Taehyung, at least for me, is his doing what comes from heart and his principles. This pr trust is against everything which connects me from him. I still love his songs, i'll still hype him but I am not sure if I'll ever be able to connect with him.

It's okay when he is solo but with BTS as a group this might make him a black sheep. No being in a relationship is not the problem. Problem is how this situation is being handled. It's like if it's real relationship damn he really let people to drag his gf and if it's not well he had to resort to such activities.

This maybe for Western market but we shouldn't forget he still resides in Korea. Korean people and armys are going to be priority when it comes to consensus. This norm in west may not percolate so well in Korea.

Hi anon!

I'm going to cut your ask in pieces a bit to respond properly.

Why does Taehyung need this kind of PR to drive engagement when he is successful without this kind of buzz? Before you say why not? There is a difference between Kpop and western artists. For short term this may work wonders but the way people look at BTS is so different than how they look upto other artists. Is it worth it to lose your credibility/trust for short term engagement? Has other members not successful enough without all this?

This era is new territory isn't it. The way I see it, other members don't have a highly rumored in-band-relationship, accept for Jimin... but he was very much paired with Yoongi and J-hope. I know people hate to read this, but that too was part of promo. Not that their bonds aren't real, but it was also used for promo. I suspect by the time Tae and Jk's album release it is possible that Jimin will either have left for enlistment, or he'll be about to, and therefore he will not be there to do much promo support for Tae and Jk. Which leaves Tae and Jk, but we all know what speculations will arise from that. Having a short term solution (which I do thing is what we are looking at from now on) like Taennie, will ensure less queer speculations, but will also put Tae in the spotlight.

I know Tae is already huge and I can understand why people think he doesn't need the promo. But what if his wish is to get even bigger? What if it's his wish to be big everywhere? Is that too gready? No, he's an artist.. he wants to share his art widely. There is an apparent difference between Kpop and western artists, but isn't it possible that the gap is tightening? That Kpop (especially BTS and BlackPink) are crossing the line? Haven't they already done things that aren't traditionally Kpop? Is it a bad thing? Breaking traditions or perceived boundaries is always at first looked upon as 'weird', "unlikely', 'bad', 'untrustworthy', but without breaking those boundaries society would stand still and that is never a good thing. Tae doing something new is a credit to him wanting to break through some stuff he feels is outdated. This goes for if Taennie is true as well as if it's not true.

Why would Tae lose credibility you think? I think most, especially in SK, will believe Taennie is real. So they won't think he's lying. Those who think it's fake probably understand why things have taken this turn. Pr-stunts are meant to look believable, so even though I speak of it the way I do, that is not how media and the greater public will speak of it.

It will be short lived, because Tae will leave for enlistment next year probably. When he returns this will all have blown over.

Someone said this way he and Jungkook would be able to roam freely. I sometimes feels would it be alright to humiliate people who supported them from so many years because you believe it or not taekookers are going to get bashed more after these rumours. I mean it's okay people have choice to leave or to stay but there would come a time when taekook might need support to come out if ever. That would be a huge hurdle if this kind of nonsense prevails.

Who is humiliating who? I don't feel humiliated. It is not Tae's intention to make us believe in Taekook. I do because I pick up on subtleties, not because they are being so obvious about it. The way I see it is Tae is making decisions for himself, and by extension Jk maybe. I trust him. I feel things will settle down soon and people will get to understand more of what's happening. This new turn is only fresh right now, so we aren't exactlly capable of seeing how things are going to be fandomwise. People who say they are leaving might be be back again next week.

I don't know if I am able to explain my issue. I am attached to BTS not because they are great singer and stuff. Objectively, there are artists who sing better. Beyond artistry BTS has connection with their fans because they resonate with people. There is that one particular quality every member has that people connect with. In case of Taehyung, at least for me, is his doing what comes from heart and his principles. This pr trust is against everything which connects me from him. I still love his songs, i'll still hype him but I am not sure if I'll ever be able to connect with him.

Your feelings about this are your own, and you have a right to them. I can understand why Tae doing something new might make you feel disconnected. But keep in mind, that no matter what... an artist/person always has the right to do what he feels best. Even if that goes against what his fandom expect of him. It is just as much your right to leave him because you no longer feel connected.

It's okay when he is solo but with BTS as a group this might make him a black sheep. No being in a relationship is not the problem. Problem is how this situation is being handled. It's like if it's real relationship damn he really let people to drag his gf and if it's not well he had to resort to such activities.

I agree that the situation is being handled poorly. I strongly believe that if Taennie were real he wouldn't have let people drag Jennie through the mud and back. Tae speaks up about things. Imo he would've said something.

This maybe for Western market but we shouldn't forget he still resides in Korea. Korean people and armys are going to be priority when it comes to consensus. This norm in west may not percolate so well in Korea.

The whole issue is, that Tae possibly being queer does already not percolate well in Korea. It's a very difficult thing for anyone to be queer in Korea, let alone what it means to be a queer Idol. I think what people need to realise (aside from this being about Tae) is that when someone is queer but also closeted, that person would still have the urge to show who they are, what they like, what they are proud of. This absolutely goes for artists, who in general are prone to share themselves through their art. Bein queer in South Korea means you cannot do that. So if this Taennie situation is not only for promo, but also a cover for him being possibly queer... it will allow him some freedoms. And can we really expect someone to adhere to their closet jst because it doesn't percolate well in Korea?

It is complicated matter. And we could probably write a book about it... I think I might be half way by now even ;)

[highschoolarchives]

Balancing Personal and School Life by Gillian Pelopero

Have you ever been mentally exhausted because you didn't know how to manage your personal life with school life? Or have your studies drained you to the point that you can no longer have fun with your friends? Well, so have I.

I’ve decided to reflect on the idea of finding a balance between school and personal life. And I'd like to discuss it from the perspective of a student because it's difficult to devote enough time to things outside of school. These things could include family, friends, hobbies, alone time, and many more.

I am a tired and busy woman from the STEM strand. Sometimes, I feel like I am spending way too much time in school and that I don’t give enough attention to my friends. I feel awful and guilty about it.  Therefore, the need for balance simply resonates with me because I battle with it.

It's possible that this is the case for you as well; perhaps you're also finding balance. Maybe you're striving to get into a competitive program, or maybe what you're studying is incredibly hard, or maybe you're doing everything in your power to keep your grades up. That can be extremely tiring. I’ve been there and I’ve done that. And during this process, we may begin to feel as if we are losing ourselves and that our identity has gotten entwined with the school. 

In my own experience, my social circle has reduced significantly. I am a lot more distant from people and it’s difficult to close that distance now because I’m so occupied with studying and meeting deadlines. Even when I do have free time, I don’t have the energy to socialize. It also seems like I dedicated so much time to school that I’ve lost interest in some of my hobbies. If this sounds like you and if you feel like you’re spending a lot of time in school, worrying over academics, try to reflect by now on what has changed about you.

I’ve been working so hard in school. Completing task after task, meeting deadline after deadline, dealing with calculus and chemistry, and trying to maintain 90+ grades in every subject. Although I get that 90+ grades, and even 99, when the semester is finally over, I felt as if I no longer knew who I was. I’ve been so preoccupied with school works that I feel like a shell of my former self when I don’t have any deadlines to meet. It, I believe, is a result of a lack of school-life balance.

It's a depressing stage to be in, and we should all try to avoid it by taking steps to help us find balance. Taking measures that will help us devote time and effort to things that don’t have anything to do with school is also crucial. For my new year’s resolution, I’ve decided to take at least a day off every week where I just don’t do anything school related without guilt. I would do what I enjoy - reading, going out with the gals, and watching Netflix series. Also, I always take time to catch up with my family. 

I know that education is very precious, but so is time. This is why we need to find balance. If you are struggling with school-life balance, please make sure to make time for yourself. Take a day off and don’t think about school. Catch up with your personal life. Bond with your family and friends. Just simply have fun. 

I, myself, also struggle in finding the balance. Some of my friends compliment me on how I have my life together and how I’m doing so well in school, but at the expense of what? With that being said, I’m sure that some students are so engrossed in academics. It’s wonderful but it also has its downside. Ultimately losing yourself in school is unhealthy. It will eventually lead you down the road and burn you out. So, learn to prioritize yourself. 

Life is happening right now; it’s not happening later.

I hope that some of you can relate because I cannot be the only one who’s going through the balance crisis. 

I am proud of you. Padayon!

[thranduel]

if i ever hear anyone complain about will liking mike or “getting in the way of m*leven” i will absolutely lose my mind

will has known mike for most of his life and it’s highly possible that he liked him before el even came into the picture. either way, they’ve been best friends since kindergarten and have the closest and most genuine relationship (like i’ve said many times, you can tell they’re most comfortable with each other because they can actually be themselves with each other), and even if will only started developing feelings for him more recently, he can’t control that and he’s not “getting in the way” of anyone (also, you have no idea what’s going through mike’s head, so how do you know there’s no chance of him having feelings for will? this is a fictional character. he hasn’t personally told anyone anything and it’s not impossible for him to have feelings for both will and el). anyways they were literally each other’s first friend and they’ve experienced so much together growing up. mike and will were best friends long before mike and el were boyfriend and girlfriend. so stop acting like mike is el’s property (and vice versa) and stop feeling threatened by a harmless boy who’s already been through enough and isn’t doing anything wrong. he’s most likely gonna get his heartbroken anyways because he always does so i don’t understand why people are so threatened by will and byler in general when the show has made it clear that they care about m*leven the most and they’re probably gonna stay together until the end since they’re apparently “married with no option of divorce” (which doesn’t really sound healthy but anyways moving on lol)

also please just stop and imagine how it would feel to be will because i feel like people don’t talk about this enough. if el didn’t accidentally open the gate and release the demogorgon in the first place, will wouldn’t have been kidnapped and traumatised and had his life changed forever. also mike wouldn’t have gone searching for him which means he wouldn’t have met el in the woods who he would later fall in love with (and then end up excluding will and forgetting about him because he’s too consumed with his relationship with her). and obviously i know el didn’t mean to do any of that, but just imagine how devastating and heartbreaking that would be for will to constantly be reminded of that. will’s life could’ve turned out so differently if that gate wasn’t opened. it literally changed everything for him. he never would’ve had that anxiety and trauma from the upside down and maybe things could’ve been different for him and mike, or at least their friendship could’ve still been so strong and nothing would’ve gotten in the way of that. it’s so unfair that he’s still dealing with his trauma AND it feels like he’s lost his best friend. i don’t even think i would be able to handle half of what will has been through without absolutely breaking. he’s truly the strongest and kindest character on this show because even after everything, he hasn’t changed as a person and he still manages to keep his head up. he’s so kind and gentle and selfless to everyone around him even when he gets ignored and forgotten about. and i know will loves el and they have a really sweet sibling bond (just look at how he was worried for her at school) but there will always be that devastating reminder of the things that happened in his childhood and especially when he sees her with mike, and that’s literally something he can’t control or forget about. you can’t blame him for rolling his eyes, moping around and feeling hurt ESPECIALLY after everything he’s been through. seeing mike and el together is hard enough for him, but it would be even harder because he’s struggling with his sexuality during a time where being gay wasn’t accepted AND because he has feelings for his best friend who he probably thinks will never like him in return

will seriously means so much to me, and because i relate to him in some ways and he’s my comfort character, i can’t help but put myself in his shoes and think about how he feels sometimes and it’s absolutely heartbreaking, especially because no one really talks about this. people just always start fighting about ships like it’s a competition and attack will as though he just came out of nowhere like he’s “trying to steal mike” and i’m actually sick of it. like please shut up because you know absolutely nothing

[mishasminions]

Here’s why the Supernatural Series Finale Sucked

(AND IT REALLY ISN’T JUST BECAUSE CAS/MISHA WASN’T IN IT)

First of all, I’d like to state, that this perspective is coming from someone who has watched, invested in, and dissected this show for 15 years. I’ve tried to rationalize and justify every single decision each of the main characters made throughout the years, and I’ve always tried to make sense of each of their story arcs from a “bigger picture” standpoint as each season progressed.

Anyway, before I can properly explain why the finale sucked, let me quickly take you through 15 seasons by segregating them into 3 eras, because you can’t really comprehend what Supernatural is about and what it’s become without going through how it tried to expand its universe.

SEASONS 1-5: THE KRIPKE ERA

Now, we all know that Kripke was always set in wrapping up Sam and Dean’s story in 5 seasons, and he did just that.

So, in this era, Supernatural is about two brothers who set out on a journey to fulfill “the family business”. They hunt mythical monsters that terrorize the world, while battling the monsters within themselves. Their ultimate “big bad” is an apocalypse.

Towards the end of this era, we find out that Sam and Dean are actually a parallel to Biblical characters who are brothers turned rivals. And that Sam and Dean’s destiny is to go up against each other.

However, as a dynamic, they have always been about making their own choices, choosing free will, and having a brotherly bond that can power through against any obstacle at any given day.

So, this era is neatly wrapped up with its finale. The characters grow, and get justified endings.

Dean, a man who thinks of himself as two things: 1. Sam’s older brother and protector; and 2. Daddy’s blunt little instrument.

He’s spent his whole life believing that that was his only purpose, and he knew that the only ending he’ll get would either be a bloody death fulfilling his duty to the family business; or laying his life on the line to save his brother.

Dean gets the ending he thought was never possible for him, something he thought he could never deserve. After years of living and dying for his family, he gets a shot at having an apple pie life--to settle down with a nice girl, raise a kid in a house with a white picket fence. With Sam gone, Dean’s responsibility now is to himself.

Sam, on the other hand, never wanted any part of it, because he wasn’t groomed the way Dean was, and because thanks to Dean, Sam wasn’t traumatized or forced into growing up too quickly the way Dean was.

So Sam aspires for a normal life, and works the cases with Dean so he can maybe get some semblance of it, when everything they set out to kill are laid to rest.

Ultimately, Sam performs a selfless act for his brother, who has given up everything for him, and for their cause--to save the world.

The journey is this: Dean sacrifices everything to save Sam, and Sam sacrifices himself so Dean could live.

Apart from being Dean’s “savior” and guardian angel, Castiel’s role in this era is to serve as a mirror to Dean’s journey. Castiel goes from being heaven’s foot soldier, following “God’s orders”; to an angel who learns to choose and feel for the first time in his existence.

After they realize that they’re both daddy’s blunt instruments, Dean starts choosing his own path for himself, and convinces Castiel to join him. Castiel stops following heaven, and starts following Dean.

In the end, with his newfound understanding of the world thanks to Dean, Castiel goes back to heaven to reform it.

We’ve resolved the biblical arc, and the character journeys.

SEASONS 6-10: THE SPIN-OFF ERA

So this is where the show realizes how vast its universe can be, so it tries to expand it by tapping into uncharted lands and experimenting with it.

They take on heaven, reform hell, explore purgatory, have the angels fall, turn Dean into a demon, and kill Death.

Dean and Sam recognize their codependency, and try to rise above it.

They go back and forth between which brother will risk it all for the greater good every other season.

Dean and Cas strengthen their relationship by recognizing the impact they have on each other’s lives.

Cas structures his life and decisions around Dean (Seasons 6-7), and Dean learns to trust and fight for Cas (Seasons 8-9).

Sam and Cas bond (mostly over Dean) because of their shared rationales in decision-making.

Dean, Sam, and even Cas also forge relationships with the people they work with. The concept of “found family” is introduced here.

This era was heavy on the plot while establishing, reinforcing, and solidifying relationships and dynamics.

At this point, it wasn’t just about the brothers anymore.

If Supernatural had ended in Season 10, the logical finale would’ve been Team Free Will, along with the family that they’ve found, going up against the latest big bad (Death or whoever). Maybe they lose them along the way, maybe they all make it out alive, or maybe they go down swinging, but at least the show recognizes and supports the message they keep saying, “Family don’t end with blood”

SEASONS 11-15: THE REWRITE ERA

This is where the show runs out of ideas and decides to invalidate the seasons that came before it.

From bringing Mary back (basically rendering their whole journey pointless because they’ve literally started hunting because of her death), to changing the stipulations in being Michael and Lucifer’s vessels (another character struggle rendered useless), to God himself breaking the fourth wall by saying that the Winchesters get away with everything because “they’re the main characters in his story and everything they’ve been through was just part of a badly written narrative”.

But what we’re getting from this era is that Sam and Dean, along with Cas (who has also deviated from the story) ARE trying to escape a badly written narrative.

That’s the “big bad” in this era. The writer.

At this point, the characters have picked up so many strays (including those from alternate universes), and have settled into their roles in their “found family”. Dean, Sam, and Cas all become surrogate dads and uncles.

They’ve also graduated from the whole “we’re on different sides” and “going behind each other’s backs” drama. And they just want the whole family together.

They’ve all resigned themselves to the cause, but they’re also tired. Dean allows himself to contemplate about wanting more out of life or at least getting a vacation. Sam, on the other hand, realizes his capabilities as an effective leader. Castiel learns to love another being that isn’t Dean (spoiler: it’s Jack).

However, they also realize that they’ve just been puppets on a string all this time.

So what they want now, is to write their own story, and make their own choices knowing that God/the writer isn’t the one fueling their narrative.

So here’s why the finale sucks:

Andrew Dabb, the current showrunner, said that there would be two finales.

15x19 - The finale to wrap up Season 15, and 15x20 - The finale to wrap up the series by “resolving the characters’ journey”

In 15x19 the boys find a way to de-power God/the writer. For the first time in their whole lives, they are free from the story. Their lives are completely theirs now. They can make their own decisions. There are no more “big bads” to fight

And here’s what happens in 15x20:

Immediately after being freed from their story arc, Dean and Sam go back to hunting the monster of the week.

Dean eats pie, gets nailed (literally), makes a 10-minute speech to Sam because he knows he’s dying, then he goes to heaven.

Dean is greeted by Bobby, his surrogate Dad who he hasn’t seen (fully alive) since Season 7. Bobby’s expository dialogue comprises of him explaining that he got out of heaven’s jail, that John and Mary are next door, and that Jack and Cas fixed the dynamics of heaven off-screen.

The first thing Dean decides to do is go for a long drive in his Impala (as if he hasn’t done enough of that already).

Meanwhile, Sam decides to stop hunting after Dean dies, he gets the apple pie life he hadn’t wanted since Season 8 (while Dean was in Purgatory), and names his kid “Dean” for effect. He grows old and dies.

Dean drove around in heaven for so long that Sam catches up to him.

They hug. The end.

Great, right?

After 15 years of struggling to battle their own respective destinies, going up against big bads and even bigger bads, then finally being able to take charge of their own stories, Dean and Sam regress to hunting the monster of the week, and get killed off by a nail and old age. Okay.

Sam gets to retire and have a family, sure, but they still focus on him and the kid he named after his dead brother. Still just “Sam and Dean” through and through. Nothing to do with found family. Just lineage. Just blood. And it ends there.

See, the problem here is that this ending would’ve been passable in The Kripke Era. But we’re 10 years down the road since, and while Sam and Dean are the original main characters, the show isn’t just about them and their codependent relationship anymore.

So you see, even if you take out the whole “Castiel deserves to be in the finale because he’s also a main character with an unfinished story arc” argument, the finale still does no justice to the series it tried to “wrap up”.

But anyway, now I’ll make the case for the problem with Castiel not being in the finale:

In 15x18, we get a 5-minute rushed confession from Castiel to Dean. The context of which are as follows:

1. Earlier in the episode, Dean had wounded Death with her scythe. We later find out that this wound is fatal.

2. Their friends start to “blip out” in a Thanos-like snap, and Dean thinks that Death is causing it, so Dean seeks her out, and Cas goes with him.

3. Dean and Cas anger Death, apparently for no reason because she didn’t even do the thing they thought she did. She chases them to try to kill them

4. Dean and Cas lock themselves in a room. Dean starts a pity party.

5. As Dean goes through hating himself out loud, Cas decides to inform Dean of the deal he made with The Empty. He then proceeds to explain the stipulation of the deal (that he would get taken once he experiences a moment of true happiness), then discusses his newfound happiness philosophy. Dean is getting whiplash.

6. Cas goes on to imply that the one thing that he wanted that he knew he couldn’t have is Dean Winchester reciprocating his romantic feelings for him. (Don’t even try to fight me on this because Cas already has Dean’s platonic love, and he knows that Dean thinks of him as a brother, so if he really meant this in a “familial” way, then why would he think that he couldn’t have the thing that would make him happy?) So Cas’ realization is that telling Dean about his feelings is enough to make him happy.

7. Cas tells Dean all the reasons why he loves him (thereby combating Dean’s self-deprecation tirade), and all the reasons why he’s worthy of his love. Meanwhile, Dean is still winded from the fact that Cas is about to sacrifice himself for him again.

8. Dean never gets to process anything, because Cas is shoving him out of the way, as he and Death (who busts through the door) get taken by The Empty.

After this episode, Dean never speaks of it. Misha Collins supposes that Dean doesn’t reciprocate. Jensen Ackles says that Dean didn’t really get to process it because it was too much, too fast, and that Dean, still dense as ever, thinks that Cas, a celestial being, doesn’t interpret human feelings the same way.

So what was the point of this confession?

Politics and sensitivities of a 2005 network television aside, what does this do for the story?

Cas proclaims his romantic feelings to Dean, but Dean never acknowledges it, doesn’t even give it a passing thought afterwards. So Cas’ big declaration goes unheard.

Cas cashes in on his Empty deal to kill Death (who was dying anyway), in order to save Dean who dies two episodes after.

Dean makes no effort to save Cas (despite being really broken up about his previous deaths, or even spending a whole year in Purgatory looking for him), even after they’ve beaten God, not even asking Jack (who has all the power in the universe) to bring him back (when Jack has already done it before, with less mojo).

Dean moves on to fight the monster of the week. Somewhere off-screen, Jack rescues Cas from The Empty, but Cas uncharacteristically doesn’t even bother to go to Dean? (Every single time he comes back, Dean’s always the first person he goes to)

And Cas, who apparently helped craft and reform the new heaven, isn’t the one who welcomes Dean and explains the new dynamics of it?

Sure, Jan.

Supernatural, you’ve created a finale that only your casual viewers and people who dipped out after Season 5 can appreciate.

Just goes to show how much you actually valued the people who actually invested in your story and characters, and consistently helped keep your show on the air.

[RT this on Twitter]

[13uswntimagines]

Cutie Pie (Christen x Reader)

Request: christen x reader one? Maybe where the reader has a child (1-2 years old) and the Team doesn't know. Reader and her child are at a game right behind the bench and the kid accidentally drops his paci down to the bench and the teammates there interact with them without knowing that it's christens girl? Reader also is really tall and fit and a tomboy!

“Alright half-pint, you ready for this?” You asked the little girl in your arms, bouncing her just a touch as you stepped through the stadium gates. 

“Yeah, Mama!!!” She cheered around her pacifier, staring around the stadium in awe and wiggling excitedly. 

You were happy that she loved coming to games so much, as they were kinda a big part of your life. You weren’t quite sure what you would do if she didn’t. She was your soul and a certain soccer player had your heart, and you were glad that you didn’t have to choose between the two. 

You smiled indulgently down at her and kissed her slightly chubby cheeks. “I’m glad baby,” 

She wiggled again, her little bounces getting more and more wild with every step you took in the stadium. You hadn’t really planned on having Riley, but now you couldn’t imagine your life without her and her wonder at everything around the two of you.

“Chris?” She asked as you passed a giant poster of the national team, pointing towards where your favorite forward’s blinding smile was blown up 100 times its normal size. 

You would be forever grateful for how amazing your girlfriend was with your daughter. 

She came into your life nearly a year and a half ago, and you had been extremely reluctant to introduce her to your 6 month old (You didn’t want either of them to get attached before you knew it would work out), but Christen took the role of parent very seriously. She treated your little girl like she was her own, and the two had an unbearable bond. You knew that even if things didn’t work out the way you wanted them to, Riley would always have a friend in the forward. 

“You bet. I’m sure she’s super excited to see you!” You said, glancing down at your ticket to and looking for the right section, navigating through the crowd without issue (something you were used to considering how private you and Chris were about your relationship, the only person on the team who knew about you was Tobin). 

“She score?” Riley questioned, her pacifier bobbing adorably in her mouth and her little eyebrows furrowing. 

“I’m sure she will, just for you kiddo,” You smiled, blowing a raspberry into the little girl's neck, and earning a giggle. “Now, do you think you can help me count the rows so we can get to our seats?” You asked as you passed under the sign with your section number and the pitch came into view. 

Riley nodded, puffing her little chest up. She may only be 2, but you and Christen had been working hard on her colors and numbers. She still needed help, but she was super smart for her age. 

“Alrighty then baby, let’s go,” 

*****

The team wasn’t usually this distracted. They were a group of highly competitive women who were at the top of their game, which meant that they could usually block out all of the noise from the stadium, even if it was just warmup. However, the cutest kid they had ever seen was sitting just behind the bench, being held by a very attractive lady. 

“Oh my gosh, have you seen the little girl?” Kelley asked, slinging an arm around Christen and Tobin’s shoulders, nodding towards the toddler in the stands. 

A gooey smile (something that didn’t go unnoticed by Tobin) broke across Christen’s face the second she saw her two favorite people. She noted how you had dressed the little one in the jersey she had gotten her for Christmas, a bold 23 visible every time she flashed her back towards the field. There was just something about having a part of herself visible (something tangible) on the girl she thought of as a daughter. “Yes, she’s absolutely adorable in that jersey,” 

She wiggled her fingers at the little girl who squealed excitedly and waved back. Her mom wrapped a protective arm around her belly to prevent her from accidentally wiggling under the guardrail. 

“Too bad it’s got Press’ number on it” Megan laughed, wrapping her arm around Christen’s other side, nudging the woman’s ribs. Christen rolled her eyes and shot the little girl another little wave, giggling when she bounced wildly in her mother’s arms (Christen might have also greatly appreciated the way the girl's reaction forced you to flex to prevent her from falling). 

“And her mom doesn’t look too bad either,” Ashlyn added, wiggling her eyebrows. 

The woman behind the little girl was tall, and the black ink that swirled up her arms only served to make her muscles more visible (Christen would call her drool-worthy after she finally told the team she was dating her). 

“You’re married, remember?” Ali grumbled, slapping her wife in the stomach. 

“Yeah, but If I wasn’t…” Ashlyn shrugged, cackling when Ali hit her harder. Christen frowned, suppressing a sneer. You were hers, even if the team didn’t know yet. 

Tobin smirked, gently grabbing her training outfit to prevent her from moving forward. “Come on, you can go flirt later. We have to get changed for the game,” She laughed towards Ashlyn, subtly pulling Christen towards the tunnel. 

The rest of the group laughed and followed after them. There would be plenty of time to say hi to the small child later after they had won. 

The forwards still sent another small wave towards the toddler clearly frowning now that her favorite person was walking away (she also may have winked your way just for kicks). 

*****

You could tell that Riley was having a blast. Her little hands wrapped around the bars of the railing so she could be as close to the action as possible. She waved to every player as they passed her (no matter how many times they did) and giggled exuberantly every time they waved back. 

It seemed that the team on the bench was far more interested in making your little girl laugh than watching the game (and you could only imagine how it would be when they finally realized that one of their teammates was basically her second mom). 

“Babe, you gotta stay a little away from the edge alright?” You said softly, tapping her shoulder when her little head went just a little too far through the bars. 

She definitely had your tendency to get in over her head. She ignored you, too enamored by Christen darting down the field, and shooting the ball. It sailed right past the goalie’s hands and before you could grab your little one she was leaping up and down, head still through the bars screaming “Goal!!” as loud as she could around the pacifier. But her enthusiasm caused the small object to fall out of her mouth.

“Uh oh,” Riley said, turning to you, her bottom lip trembling. 

You scooped her up, and she immediately nuzzled into your neck. “It’s ok babydoll,” you murmured into her hair, bouncing her and looking over the railing.

You leaned over the side, only to see one Kelley O’Hara holding your daughter's pacifier and rubbing her head. “Lose something?” She asked, quirking an eyebrow up at you. 

“Sorry, she got a little excited,” You said blushing a little bit. A little smirk graced Kelley’s lips you looked absolutely adorable with some red in your cheeks and paired with the backward cap it made you practically irresistible. 

“Don’t we all when Pressy scores a goal?” Megan winked up at you, wiggling her fingers at your little girl when she peeked up from your shoulder. 

“That’s fair, but she’s a very big fan,” You smiled, bouncing the little girl in your arms and blowing a raspberry just under her chin. 

“Well in that case, why don’t you two come down on the field? You know, so we can return this?” Ashlyn asked, grabbing the pacifier out of Kelley’s hand and jingling it a little. 

“What do you think babydoll?” You whispered into your daughter’s ear, as she was suddenly too shy to look at the soccer players who she had been interacting with not even minutes ago. 

“Wanna go,” she mumbled into your neck, just loud enough for the girls on the ground to hear. Kelley smiled wildly. “Well, little miss speaks after all!”

“Come to the stairs and we’ll get security to let you down. The games about to be over anyway,” Megan said, pointing towards where a little stairway was located. 

You nodded and headed in that direction, unaware of Christen’s furrowed eyebrows on the field. 

*****

“Oh my gosh, that kid is freaking adorable,” Alex said, trotting up beside Christen just as the final whistle blew. Christen turned towards where Alex was looking, awing at the sight before her. 

Riley was shyly standing behind you, clutching the back of your tank top so tightly that it was pulling down the collar (simultaneously showing off some of the swirling lines she knew spread across the skin of your shoulders). 

She would peek out to get a glance at one of the soccer players vying for her attention, and then tuck back into you the second she realized they were looking at her. 

“Isn’t she?” Christen smiled so wide her cheeks hurt. She might not be biologically related to your daughter, but she was 100% her other mom. She loved that little girl so much it hurt  (even when her pigtails were crooked- you were great at a lot of things but hair certainly wasn’t one). 

“Your gooey is showing,” Tobin said, nudging the forward. Christen opened her mouth to respond but was cut of by a very excited squeal. 

“Chris!!!” It yelled, just before a little body collided with the forward’s legs. She quickly bent down to lift the little girl up, throwing her in the air before allowing her to settle on her hip. “Missed you,”

“I missed you too babydoll,” Christen said into your daughter’s hair, holding her tight. She absolutely loved her job, but one major downside was that she couldn’t take you and Riley with her all of the time. At least she had Tobin to keep her up to date most of the time since you lived in Portland, but there was absolutely nothing like holding her two favorite people in person. 

“You better at hair and clothes,” Riley mumbled into her neck, pulling back just a bit to wave her hand around her head. You tried. You really did, but there was a reason you always kept your hair short. You weren’t into bows and frilly things, but your little girl absolutely loved them. So you did your best and were very grateful that Christen was so good with that kind of stuff. 

Christen threw her head back and laughed “I know baby,”. She rubbed Riley’s belly “Did you enjoy the game?” 

“Yeah, you score goal for me and mama,” Riley cheered and kicked her leg as if recreating the goal. Christen laughed again and began walking in your direction. “That’s right. I scored just for my favorite girls,” 

“Hey I scored too you know, and I want some baby bear hugs,” Tobin said, appearing over Christen’s shoulder. 

Riley wiggled wildly in Christen’s arms, practically throwing herself at her favorite aunt. “Aunt Toby!!” She yelled as Tobin dramatically spun her in circles. 

Christen watched the two with a wide smile, only looking away when she felt a presence beside her. 

“Hey superstar, you looked amazing out there,” your smile was evident in your voice as you wrapped your arms around Christen’s waist from behind, kissing her ear and resting your head on her shoulder. 

She signed happily and leaned back into you for a second, before spinning in your arms. “Hey darling,” she said, leaning up and placing a kiss on your lips. 

“Wait, you know Christen?” A voice appeared very close to you, and you reluctantly pulled away from your girlfriend to look at one Kelley o’hara’s wide eyes. 

“Well she’s my girlfriend, so yeah,” Christen shrugged, leaning up to kiss you again. 

You hear Kelley and several other team members sputter, but you were far too preoccupied to actually care. That was until a little voice joined the mix. 

You pulled away when you heard little feet approaching you, squatting down to catch your very excited little girl. You stood with her in your arms, unable to stop you smile when Christen wrapped her arms around the two of you. 

“Yes baby?” Christen asked, running a hand down your daughters back to try and settle her excited wiggiling just a little. 

“Mama, mommy, we go eat with aunt Toby?” Riley asked. And Christen’s sent her an indulgent smile blinking back tears (you were happy that Tobin was so accepting and great with your babygirl). Sure Christen might not have been biologically related to her, but Riley was 100% hers.

[hauntedheroines]

What is your ideal villain x heroine relationship?

Well first, there are Basic Rules(TM):

Must see her as a human being, not as a pretty object, disposable or replaceable. Examples of villains that don’t do this: Jabba The Hutt and Ming the Merciless

He must be clean. He doesn’t have to be pretty, just hygienic. Grima, from LotR, is ugly, but I still ship him with Eowyn, while Jabba The Hutt is just a disgusting worm.

He is powerful and talented; has to have some sort of confidence. I can pity him, sometimes it's even better when I do (like with The Phantom of the Opera) but some stalker movies make the character so realistically obsessed because he is an insecure and repressed person. This also has to do with not seeing her as an object. Most of the time they don’t even know why they want the girl, they are just searching for any replacement for the maternal love they didn’t get. They don’t think they are special, they would just take anything to fill the gap.

He can’t be willing to watch her die. This usually ruins the ship. I mean hurt her, okay, but to kill her would mean he thinks he can live without her. And if he thinks that, he better get into a deep depression and regret afterward, or be well-aware that he has dammed himself for the rest of his life. Leôncio from Isaura The Slave Girl, Bill from Kill Bill, Jack Devlin from The Net, and Frollo from NDdP do that.

Either the heroine wins or neither of them do. The villain must not triumph at the ending, keep the girl hostage and miserable at his side. Either he is redeemed or he is ass kicked. There is no evil triumph - nor in the sense that he gets everything he wants without reforming himself into a better person, neither in the sense that the heroine is corrupted and rules as mistress of darkness by his side. The most I can accept of a good character losing is that she loved him despite it all and after rejecting him, they both perish.

The ideal villain x heroine is when they are bond by their loneliness. Most authors believe the villain is always the hero's antithesis - the classic "Two sides of the same coin".

Maybe they share trauma, neglect - people think they are strange or too erratic. Maybe the heroine's willpower is walking the line of ruthlessness. Her power inspires fear in people, even in her, but the villain admires it.

Either way, they feel there are parts of them no one else would understand. That only they could know and love. That the villain, in an curious way, challenges her to become the greatest version of herself.

They would be the perfect match in different circumstances, or if the villain wasn’t so far gone. But he has hurt too many people and to forgive that would be impossible. Maybe forgiveness is not what he seeks. Maybe he just wants to be sure she will never leave him, the only way he knows how.

She hates him, but once again he is the only one who matches her. Examples of ships that do this: Steerpike x Fuchsia, Annie x the Teacher, Alina x Darkling, Reylo, Casey x Kevin...

Other interesting premises:

They have a telepathic connection. A spell was cast on them and their hearts are connected. One can only die when the other does. They could even be born from the same womb at the same time. Like, they came to this world together; their destinies are intertwined oh no Nuada/Nuala.

They were childhood friends or met when they were younger oh my gosh I love this trope.

The heroine is socially acceptable in her sexuality, meaning she is not sexually active or she is a full-on virgin. The villain is comfortable with his own and teases her.

He never loved anyone before. EVER.

He is more invested than she is, or at least he gives in and expresses his feelings more than she does, showing her the possibilities and getting frustrated when she discards them once again. He will be willing to sacrifice everything for her while she will hesitate (Lizzie from The Blacklist) or will rather kill herself later (Lady Fuchsia Groan) than to be with the man she loves because of the moral boundaries, people who depend on her, the complete absurd of saving such a despicable person and etc.

Or else, let him be tormented. Let his feelings for her confuse and scare him. Let it be against everything he is and believes. Let her be a whore or heretic and he, a devotee. Let her be his family and he, in a position of power and prestige like a king or a millionaire, wanting the only thing he can’t have and would make him a joke to those who fear and respect him now. Let him stare at her intensely, without her knowing why, trying to kill or imprison her or send her away, only to succumb and confess his feelings. Let him be disgusted with himself for wanting her, blaming her, and then coming back on his knees for crumbs of affection from the one he has disgraced. Let his power be drained from him and delivered to the hands of whom he judged unworthy, to such an extent that he is the one to make the delivery. Let his feelings consume him to the point he doesn’t even know what he is doing anymore, things he never thought he was capable of; burning a city, destroying a kingdom, enslaving a galaxy.

BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT IS:

They defy each other. I like it better when the heroine is not naive and passive. They can fight mano-a-mano or play his mind games and schemes. Or she just has a mind of her own and won’t bend to his.

[ramzawrites]

A Painful Reminder - Dad!Schlatt and Reader - Part 2

GN

Pairings: none

Characters included: Quackity, Philza, Fundy, Tubbo, (mentioned) Schlatt

Warnings: mention of past self harm (ripping off horns), mention of blood, abandonment, cursing

Series: A part 2 after multiple people asked for it (thank you)

Summary: Quackity found Y/N bleeding next to the river. Now he frantically tries to figure out how to help them in more ways than one.

Words count: 3243

Authors Note: Here it is! Thank you for all the nice messages on part 1! It took longer than I had hoped and I apologize but also thank you all for the messages that cheered me up :D I’ll be honest I was a bit intimidated by all this and I hope that you guys enjoy this fic nontheless 💙 Also I usually like to put the fics right beneath the asks but since I got so many messages I decided to answer some of them, I hope that is alright. Or tell me if I should do it differntly after all haha

NO GUARANTEE BUT I MADE THIS POST THAT YOU CAN INTERACT WITH IN CASE YOU WANT TO GET TAGGED FOR A PART 3, no guarantee I will actually sit down in the near future for it but HERE

Reposted as a test to see if it will appear in the tags

“See. It’s already working.”

These words continued to echo through Quackity’s mind as he carried the unconscious Y/N in his arms, not worried about the blood that was soaking into his blue jacket. If anything he was more worried that dirt from his clothes was getting into the fresh wounds.

“Anyone? I need a doctor! Healing potions! Anything!” once again he yelled out hoping somebody was around L’Manberg.

Even though Y/N was knocked out cold their expression displayed pain. Quackity could only imagine how they did this to themself but he tried not to think too hard about it. The wounds looked gruesome even without the exact knowledge of how this came to be.

How desperate must they have been to hurt themself like that?

How long have they suffered that this was their reaction?

How will he live with the knowledge that he was partially at fault?

“Quackity? What’s wrong?”

Said man turned around to see a worried looking Tubbo and Fundy standing behind him. As soon he did though both their expression turned from worried to shock.

Fundy’s eyes widened as he saw Y/N laying limp in Quackity’s arms “What the- For the love of Ender what happened! Their horns!”

“I don’t know but I found them like this. Can you- Do you know-“ Quackity was struggling to find the rights words but Tubbo knew what he meant.

Once again his expression changed. Now looking more serious and determined but the worry was still clear through his body language “Let’s go to Phil. He has some brewery stands and I’m sure he will let us use his.”

Fundy nodded “I’m sure grandpa will help us.”

Quackity didn’t hesitate, he immediately begun making his way towards Phil’s house, still making sure that Y/N’s head isn’t moving around too much. Scared that he might hurt them even more.

All the while Tubbo made sure to stay a few steps ahead. As if he was keeping lookout for any possible dangers or to make sure that the way was free for them so the group could reach Phil’s place as fast as possible.

Fundy walked side by side with Quackity on the other hand. His eyes always darting to Y/N’s head. Staring at the place where their dark horns used to be. Queasy with all of this he grabbed his tail with his own hands.

Luckily it indeed didn’t take long for them to reach Phil’s place. Tubbo knocked hastily against the wooden door as Quackity readjusted Y/N in his arms.

The door opened and a somewhat tired looking Phil stood in front of them. His eyes first landed on Tubbo and slowly wandered towards Quackity with Y/N “What the- What is going on?”

Fundy stepped forward, still nervously holding onto his tail “We need your help, grandpa. Y/N is hurt and we need potions for them.”

Before he even ended the sentence Phil was already making space for the small group to walk in “Yes, of course. You can put them down on my bed there. I have some ingredients for potions in some of the chests. Tubbo, Fundy you know how to make healing and regeneration pots?”

“We do.” Tubbo answered sternly.

“Okay, then I’ll clean the wounds while you both make them.”

Quackity laid Y/N carefully down on the soft bed. A few whimpers escaped their mouth as he let go off them. Their face was still stained with their own tears. Blood covering the sides of their face as well as their hands. Their clothes dirty and wet.

Phil immediately moved in with fresh water and a clean rag, slowly cleaning up the wounds where Y/N’s horns used to be.

Tubbo and Fundy ran around from chest to chest, collecting all the ingredients for the potions. The only sound in the room came from the glass bottles and the brewery stands as well as the occasional painful groan from Y/N.

No one was saying it but all of them felt sick to their stomach. Seeing them without their horns felt so wrong. A part of their body just gone. Especially for fellow Hybrids this was a gruesome thought.

“So, what exactly happened?” Philza dunked the rag back into the water.

Quackity was just pacing around the room as he asked that question. He didn’t know anything about how to heal Y/N and was instead battling the increasing guilt that was building up in him.

He took a deep breath in “I don’t know. I heard some crying and when I investigated I found them by the river laying in the grass like this. I asked them what happened but they just babbled something on the lines of that they freed themself so we all can live in peace.”

Tubbo gasped “Don’t tell me- Don’t tell me they did this to themself! But this doesn’t make any sense!”

“Really? I think it makes a lot of sense!” Quackity snapped at Tubbo “Everyone has been avoiding them ever since fucking Schlatt’s death and they are not stupid! They realize we left them alone because of their relation to him! I know for a fact that you too saw their horns and had to think of him! You left them alone just how I did. How everyone did! This is our fault!”

“Quackity-“ Fundy wanted to calm the other man down but he was way too angry.

Too angry at everyone and himself.

“No! There is nothing else to say! We fucked up!”

The young president just stared at Quackity. Surprised with his reaction but he couldn’t fault him for it. He spoke the truth. It was an open secret after all. Something everyone knew but no one dared to talk about. No one thought of the consequences.

Fundy frowned and stared at the ground, mumbling something no one could understand.

Quackity still agitated turned towards him “What did you say?”

The Fox Hybrid looked up, his frown still present, showing his fangs “We were hurting as well! We all needed time to heal!”

“On the expense of Y/N?”

“What were we supposed to do!?”

Phil let out an annoyed groan “Can you two shut the fuck up? We can deal with this later! Right now the priority should be healing Y/N.”

After that no one dared to say anything. Tubbo and Fundy stood each at a brewing stand and stared intently at the glass bottles while Quackity decided to stand close to Phil and Y/N.

Schlatt’s rule was a horrible time. During that time Y/N and he bonded. Trying to keep each other’s spirit up as Schlatt destroyed everything in his wake. Including his relationships with his own child and him. Hence why he felt this increased sense of having to make sure that they were alright. It was the least he could do after screwing up so bad before.

“See, it’s already working” The sentence Y/N spoke just before they passed out snuck into his thoughts again. They were right. It hurt, because they were right.

Suddenly he had an idea “Phil, could regenerations potions, um, make them regrow? The horns, I mean.”

Philza stopped moving. His eyebrows pulled down in thought as he slowly shook his head “No, Regeneration Potions just increase the body’s ability to heal itself. Horns don’t regrow. If you lose them, they are gone forever.”

This stung. There was this slight hope in him that maybe, maybe they all could make it up. Correct all of their mistakes but instead he was left with even more guilt. Now they might not see the horns that would remind them of Schlatt but instead they would be met with a constant reminder of their own fault and guilt.

Suddenly Tubbo took a bottle out of the brewery in his hand while Fundy gave him a different one. He handed both of them to Phil who got out new rags and put one of the potions on it which he then used on the wound. Luckily the bleeding slowly did indeed stop more and more.

“Okay, the regeneration one they have to drink. It should help them with any general pain and should increase their healing but for that they have to wake up.” A weary sigh left his lips as he began cleaning up.

Phil put some of the rags in a chest only to pull out some bandages and threw them towards Quackity who struggled for a second but managed to catch them after all “Bandage them up, will ya?”

Quackity nodded and sat down on the bed next to Y/N. Their wounds still looked bad but at least their face was clean now and the bleeding stopped as well. Carefully he propped them up on his lap so he had an easier time to wrap their head.

He wasn’t the best at it but he did a good enough job that Philza didn’t feel the need to jump in.

Tubbo and Fundy were now standing on opposite sides of the room. Both had their arms in front of their chest. While Tubbo looked more worried, Fundy still had his frown on.

He understood where Quackity was coming from but to him there was no other way. If he forced himself to hang out with them then Y/N would have noticed it. He was sure of it. It was unfair to say that all of them were at fault for this. Yes, this was bad. This was quite frankly horrifying what happened but to say that all of them were at fault? That didn’t sit right with him.

Maybe he was too scared to accept the guilt.

Once Quackity finished wrapping up Y/N and just as he slowly dropped their head back on the bloody pillow, they begun groaning.

Everyone’s but Phil’s eyes widened as their gazes immediately snapped towards Y/N.

They slowly opened up one of their eyes and begun to sit up, without missing a beat Phil walked away from the chest he was rummaging about and instead grabbed the regeneration potion, pushing it into Y/N’s hands “Drink.”

Still groggy from their ordeal they just nodded and chugged the whole bottle down before setting the empty bottle down next to them. One of their still dirty hands flew towards their forehead, wincing in pain.

“Y/N?” Quackity tried to gain their attention but Y/N was busy trying to understand what was going on.

Suddenly their eyes grew wide and the other hand flew up to the head. Slowly they begun feeling around the rough bandages, inching more and more towards the place where their horns used to be connected with their head.

Letting out a pained gasp as soon as they arrived at the wound. Tears welling up in their eyes.

“It wasn’t a dream.” Y/N rasped out.

Tubbo looked like he was standing on hot coals with how much he danced around on the spot “I’m sorry, Y/N. We-“

But he interrupted himself as Y/N let out a dry laugh. It was a laugh mixed with relief, pain and shock. A laugh that set the pain inside Quackity’s and the other’s chest ablaze again. Even Fundy’s frown disappeared into one of disbelief. Like it just hit him what has happened.

Quackity was too busy with gauging everyone’s reaction that he didn’t notice how Y/N was now silently crying. They tried their best to suppress it via wiping away any tears that dared to escape but it was a futile effort.

“Where- Where am I?”

“In my place. Quackity carried you over here with Tubbo and Fundy.” Philza explained. He never really interacted with Y/N as well. He arrived in L’Manberg and was forced to kill his own son. Blaming the system and people of this city, so once he found out Y/N was Schlatt’s child, who was one of the main reasons Wilbur fell to his own paranoia? No, he didn’t feel incredibly comfortable trying to do small talk with them.

Sure, he felt bad for them but not guilty. No, the people who already knew them should feel guilty. If anything he felt sorry for them and saw them as another victim to the people similar like his son. A bit ironic if you really thought about it. The child of Schlatt and his own child both fell victim to L’Manberg.

Y/N nodded, their head felt so much lighter it was almost an uncomfortable feeling “I’ll get home then. I apologize for the trouble and thank you for the help.”

The nature of the stares has changed. A small part in them was almost ecstatic that this wasn’t in vain. No more stares of hostility but rather sympathy. Y/N could work with that, right? So, why did they still feel so conflicted? Why was the pain in their chest still there?

Throwing away the blanket, Y/N tried to stand up but Quackity pushed them back down with a stern expression.

“Hey, Hey! What do you think you are doing?” surprisingly it was Fundy speaking up and it shocked Y/N.

Fundy noticed the pang of fear on their face and relaxed his features “I’m- I’m sorry. Just, you can’t walk around like this. You are seriously hurt, besides-“ He stopped himself.

Tubbo looked at Fundy only to switch back to Y/N “Besides, if what we think what happened, there is no way we can leave you alone like this.”

“No, No- I- No. No. I did that- I-“ Y/N was frantically stumbling across their words, letting their tears now freely running and yet they still put on a smile and looked Tubbo in the eyes “I’ll be fine. Thank you for patching me up. From here on out I’ll be fine.”

Phil sighed “Just accept their help. That’s why you did this in the first place, didn’t you? Ripping your horns off your head, so they would stop avoiding you.” Seeing all of them stumbling across their words he decided to just rip the band aid off.

When Y/N just stared at their lap and didn’t dare to look up as a response Quackity put one of his hands on their shoulder, blood still smeared on them from when he inspected the wounds.

“It’s true, isn’t it? What he said, it’s the truth. You realized we avoided you because your horns reminded us of Schlatt, right?”

It wasn’t really a question, since he knew the answer but he needed to hear it from them himself. He needed definitive proof that they did feel indeed desperate enough because of everyone’s actions to do this. To literally rip their horns off their body.

Y/N gulped. Their mouth opening and closing but no words came out. They took a deep breath in, squinted their eyes shut and softly nodded, muttering an almost inaudible “Yes.”

Now they couldn’t hold back anymore, breaking down into loud sobs and hiccups.

“This is bull shit!” Fundy exclaimed angrily. Quackity wanted to yell at Fundy, saying why in the world would he still act like that only to see tears now welling up in the Fox Hybrids eyes as well.

Tubbo had a shocked expression on his face, clasping his hands in front of his mouth.

Phil had his eyes closed, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Brows in a frown as he was deep in thought.

Tentatively Quackity put his other hand on the other shoulder of Y/N, slowly and softly pulling on them. They didn’t react at first but after a few moments they seemed to relax and lean in. Falling into Quackity’s chest.

Now sobbing and crying while he was slowly rubbing their back in an effort to console them.

He put his head on theirs, hoping it wouldn’t hurt them too much and whispered apologies.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry we did this to you. You made an effort to talk to us and we noticed but we still chose to just abandon you.”

Their cries increased. Letting out their pent up pain as Quackity held them securely in their arms. Feeling some kind of love and affection for the first time since forever.

Fundy slowly stepped towards Y/N, placing one of his hands on their back “I’m sorry as well. We fucked up. None of this is on you but on us.”

“And I’m sorry as well! I- I don’t know what I was thinking. It was horrible of us.” Tubbo added.

“I feel sorry for you Y/N that’s all I can say. To the others, now saying you are sorry isn’t enough. You need to prove it. Got it?” Phil lectured the group.

Tubbo nodded “Yes. For starters we can make sure they heal up well.”

It took a few minutes until Y/N seemed to slowly calm down again. They were still sobbing but their cries weren’t as loud anymore.

Quackity pushed them away from him and looked them into their eyes “Stay at my place. I’ll make sure you’ll be okay. It will take time and I know it will be work to earn your trust again but will you at least give us this last chance? Hell, you have probably given more chances for us than we will ever realize but still, will you let me, uh, us, do this? It’s okay if you don’t want to, or if you want someone else to help.”

It took Y/N a moment to realize what was happening and what he was proposing. Not only were all of them worried for their wellbeing but they apologized. They had to admit that they didn’t expect this. Honestly they just hoped that their horns would go and all was well. People would finally talk with them and not ask too many questions. Y/N would probably be able to come up with an excuse. Probably.

But to hear that this wasn’t their fault? That the others avoided them wasn’t their fault? Realistically they always knew it but they never really believed it a hundred percent, so to hear this was like someone lifted a huge weight off of their heart.

The other’s recognized that they were hurting. Their feelings wasn’t something they somehow made up. This was real. This was happening and the others acknowledged it.

“… Okay.”

Quackity and the other seemed to relax at that. He let go off them and Tubbo used this chance to give Y/N a short hug as well which made Y/N break down into cries again. Fundy cautiously sat down on the bed as well and wrapped one of his arms and tail around the two.

The group noticed pretty fast that this was something Y/N needed. A physical proof that they cared for them. Not just words, now they had to show action. This also meant to inform all of the others on the situation. Make sure they learned what has happened but only with Y/N’s consent and in a way they were okay with it.

But before all of that, they will make sure they were healing, physically and mentally. Something will probably never fully leave or heal but they will find a way. They had to.

Quackity was incredibly glad they took him up on the offer. After all they two went together through the same bull shit from Schlatt and he saw them once as family, so he felt it was his responsibility, now that Schlatt was gone, to take care of them.

“Thank you, Y/N for giving us this chance. We don’t deserve it but we will try our hardest.”

“I know, Quackity.”

[undertaker1827]

Hi again! How are you doing? Can you a scenario with Undertaker, Edward, Ciel and Sebastian with a s/o who is scared to love because in their life, they only see relationships that end up with both people end up hurt and they're afraid to be in one? Keep up your work! You're doing amazing! :)

Hello! I’m good, hope you are too! And of course, (though I’m sorry, I kind of forgot about the tsundere-ish bit until the end) enjoy!

Masterlist

-

Undertaker

Undertaker had known for a while now that you loved him, and he loved you back. It took quite a bit of courage for him to even approach you to confess his feelings, even though he already knew you returned them, for fear of rejection. He had trust issues from various things that had happened to him throughout his long life and he also knew how short a human life was compared to his own, how quickly you could be ripped out of his arms by so little with him able to do nothing but watch. In the end, he decided to just go for it anyway, to tell you. And he felt like his chest had imploded when you rejected his advances.

Sadness radiated from you as you quietly told him you weren’t interested, then walked slowly away to his small kitchen where you put the kettle on for tea. He didn’t mention it again.

He worried over your reaction until he almost felt sick, worried that he’d upset you, that you would now want nothing more to do with him and that he had ruined this little piece of happiness he’d managed to scrape out of eternity. He’d never imagined your rejection came out of fear as well.

The mortician had been different since that day, try though he had to remain the same, and you too worked yourself up until you were fighting back tears as you tried to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, it was all down to you. He watched you spiral rapidly downwards for all of a few seconds before he realised where this was going, then did the only thing he could think of in that moment. Undertaker shoved his bangs to the side so you could see his eyes then kissed you, hard, for all of a few moments. It was enough to shock you out of your impending panic and with your chest still heaving, he gently told you that he was scared to love as well, scared to lose you. But if you were both scared of the same thing, you would could work through it together.

“I think,” you whispered, “I think I would like that.” The mortician offered you a small smile.

“I think I would too.”

Edward Midford

Edward had slowly come to the realisation that he loved you. He enjoyed your company, felt happier when you were there and was filled with an undeniable sadness when you left again. You had been walking through the streets of London together, talking animatedly about everything and nothing all at once. This was something you often did together, each taking comfort in the other’s presence and enjoying the escape from real life that your shared walks offered. This particular day though, you had not even made it halfway round your usual route before a friend came rushing up to you, needing your assistance for one thing or another, and you’d had to leave. You looked sad though, glancing over your shoulder at Edward as your friend chatted away, wishing you were still with him instead.

That led the knight to where he was now, wandering around one of London’s great parks and contemplating hi relationship with you. He was never one to beat around the bushes with regards to his personal feelings on any matter, least of all one where somebody else’s emotions were involved and they could potentially get hurt. As such, he decided that he would tell you everything as soon as he saw you again, which would be tomorrow’s usual morning walk.

-

Your heart leapt into your throat as soon as Edward asked if he could court you. You had both dreamed of and dreaded this moment for as long as you had held feelings for the man, which started to come about almost as soon as you met him. You swallowed once before politely declining his advances, the next few minutes of the walk continuing in silence. Upset as Edward was, he absolutely respected your decision. But he was sure you felt something for him, so he could help but ask you why. When he saw how that made you even more agitated, he immediately backtracked, apologising profusely and swearing never to bring it up again. Which in turn made you feel worse, because now you had inadvertently upset the man you loved even more.

That was how you ended up telling him, right there in the middle of your walk, that you would love nothing more than for him to court you, but you were too scared to say yes. You explained all of the relationships that you had seen go wrong and that you didn’t want you and him to become yet another one. He told you then that he’d seen much of the same as you, with friends and even some families, but he was still willing to give this a try if you were. After all; he loved you.

Ciel Phantomhive

Ciel too came to the realisation that he loved you slowly. There was no one moment where it just hit him, but more like he gradually came to the conclusion that he wanted to be with you for as long as he possibly could. He didn’t know if you returned his feelings or not, so he decided to wait a while before telling you, firstly to see how you behaved around him and try to decide whether your feelings for him went further than a strong bond of friendship, and secondly for him to get his courage up.

You were having tea in one of the Phantomhive manor’s many drawing rooms, Sebastian having left at Ciel’s request some time ago and no doubt going about his duties around the estate. This was the moment then; it was time to ask if you would allow him to court you. Of course, when you graciously and elegantly declined his request with an apology on your lips a light frown across your brow, he had no idea that in truth, your heart was breaking just as much as his. You loved him, you truly did, but you dared not admit it for the fear of any relationship ending in tears just as you had seen with those of your friends. Outwardly, Ciel took this rejection in a calm and collected manner, offering you his own apology, but it left a gaping hole in his chest in which there had been the hope for something more with you.

You each tried to continue like you had before, but with Ciel’s sadness and your fear, in the end you felt like he deserved the true explanation of why you refused. The moment you told the earl, a spark of joy lit up within him once more. Maybe, just maybe, there was still a chance that you would give this relationship a go, if the pair of you went slowly enough and if there was a solemn promise that your friendship would remain unchanged if and when your romantic partnership came to an end. 

Sebastian Micaelis

Sebastian could help but admit that he was a little surprised at his own feelings when he came to realise what they were. He was a demon after all; demons weren’t supposed to acquire romantic attachments for anyone, let alone a human of all beings. Any human’s lifetime was a blink of an eye compared to Sebastian’s and the thought did give him pause when it came to you, though only for a moment. He could at least enjoy a romantic partnership with you while it lasted, and surely some time spent with you in this way was better than none at all.

The demon was sure you felt the same way about him. Identifying the emotions of others when they were so clearly displayed in their every action was simple, it was dealing with one’s own thoughts and feelings that was the difficult part. Sebastian was visiting you at your house when he told you how he felt about you, a cup of your perfect tea in one hand but the drink long forgotten. He saw the panic rise in your features as soon as the words left his lips, but he asked anyway if you felt the same. He was again surprised at the bleak sadness that filled him when you said you did not. He was sure he could sense conflict in you, but he dared not comment on it lest he push you away entirely. A friendship was better than you not being in his life at all, he decided, and he was determined for your current friendship to remain the way it was. 

Sebastian carried on after that as if nothing had happened, simply hoping to maintain some sort of friendship with you after his impromptu confession. You, on the other hand, simply grew more concerned as the days passed by. You wanted to say you loved him back, because it was the truth, but you were scared that everything would go wrong as you had seen so many times before. Eventually, with trembling hands and a total lack of the courage you really wished you had, you told him everything. Sebastian was quietly overjoyed that you returned his feelings, though his only words to you were ones of comfort. He told you that he understood your fear and that it was perfectly normal even, but asked if you would give things a try anyway. For both your sakes, just in case things could really work out. It was hesitantly, if not with an air of excitement, that you agreed.

Ronald Knox

Ronald was well known amongst other reapers for being someone who moved very quickly between partners. He knew this about himself as well, it was just the way he was. That was why he was so surprised to find he was actually interested in you in the context of a long term relationship. You were interested in him too, though you didn’t expect him to feel the same way. On top of that, even in the unlikely event that he did feel the same way about you, you knew you would be too afraid of getting hurt and having any potential relationship end badly to try anything with him.

You felt a deep, aching sorrow in your chest when the one almost impossible scenario that you spent your time both dreaming and worrying about started to play out right in front of you. Ronald didn’t ask you out in a big room filled with lots of people, instead asking if he could walk with you after you both clocked off from work. The hurt was displayed clearly on the reaper’s face, much as he tried to hide it then brush it off entirely when you went to apologise. You felt awful when he made an excuse and went on his way not a few moments later, but what was worse was that when you went into work the next morning, a massive fire had broken out in the early hours somewhere in the centre of London and the night crew hadn’t been able to collect all of the souls. Which left you being paired up with Ronald to finish the job.

You each tried carrying on like nothing had happened the previous day, but found it was very difficult. Things changed though when you tripped over a charred piece of wooden beam and would have fallen straight through the fragile floor and down a storey to the ground below had Ronald not caught you.

“Guess you fell for me after all, huh?” He said this with a small yet sad grin, but the look quickly turned to a teasing smirk when your gaze dropped off to one side. “You did as well!” You grumbled something unintelligible as you still refused to look at him. “You know, you’re so pretty when you’re upset.” The reaper’s eyes were practically glowing with mirth and he knew full well you didn’t mean your next words.

“Oh, shut up!”

William T. Spears

William couldn’t really believe that he was about to do this. He always did his utmost to remain stoic and emotionless, void of attachments and only at work long enough to do his job and then go home. But then, along came you. He found quite quickly that he couldn’t keep his mind off of you,the way you acted and how you always seemed pleased to see him when nobody else was.

This was it, then. You tended to stay late and end up leaving around the same time he did, meaning you would both end up walking together until you left dispatch’s confines and went home your separate ways. You were coming out of your office at the same time as he was making his way down the corridor on this particular evening, and you gave the reaper a broad smile as he paused a minute to wait for you. He was collected as ever on the outside, even if internally his every nerve felt like it was on fire. Neither of you spoke as you headed towards the main exit from the office building, keeping pace with each other as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

William waited until you were outside to finally tell you how he felt, the soft and quiet confession feeling entirely foreign on his tongue. His apprehension steadily raised as the seconds went past until you finally answered, expression sorrowful yet decided. You looked up at him as you declined his offer, sadness settling in your chest as his characteristically stiff posture remained unchanged and he stared straight ahead.

“Alright, then. I apologise for having wasted your time.” With that, he was gone, long strides taking him away from you far too quickly. It was a decision made just as quickly that had you running after him, calling his name and asking him to wait. You were almost surprised to find that he did indeed stop and turn to face you.

“I - I’m sorry,” you attempted to explain yourself, “it’s just that I only ever see relationships end badly, and I just... don’t want it to be the same with you. You matter too much to me.” The reaper paused, an unexpected warmth settling in his chest at your words.

“Would you be willing to try?” William asked you cautiously, wondering if he could bear it if your answer was no. That worry dissipated, though, as he watched your lips curve up into a small smile.

“I think I would.”

[pale-silver-comb]

So I know absolutely nothing about Leverage except what I've been seeing you post lately and I have to admit you're making it look tempting to watch! Can I ask what are some of your favorite things about the show/reasons you would suggest people watch it? And is there really a poly relationship that is canon?

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I am going to do my best not to just “asdfghkjl” at you and answer coherently.

In a nutshell, Leverage is about 5 people. 4 are criminals (Parker, Hardison, Eliot and Sophie) with different and unique skill-sets and 1 is an ex-insurance investigator (Nate) who, at one point or another in his career, has tracked down (or at least attempted to) the other 4. The whole show is essentially: man reluctantly reforms 4 criminals to use their criminal powers for good and 4 criminals move into man’s life and stubbornly refuse to leave because, goddammit, now they have morals. 

I’ve got a lot of favourite things about the show but the main ones are as follows:

1. Found family. And I’m not talking about loners who come together to fight crime and happen to co-exist to the point where they realise they happen to have found themselves a family. I mean, Nate and Sophie are the Drunk Uncle and Wine Aunt who somehow become Mom and Dad to 3 beautiful criminal children. Mom and Dad love their criminal babies and the kids love them (as well as each other, but we’ll come to that in a moment). You get amazing family moments such as: Mom and Dad packing the kids lunch before sending them out to kick corporate greed’s ass; Mom and Dad giving the kids ridiculously expensive and personal Christmas presents causing their most Grumpy Kid to go very very quiet and soft as he runs off to gleefully play with his new murder toy; the kids interrupting Mom and Dad’s big Movie Style Kiss to ask if they can please keep their new underground layer and huffing and puffing when Dad tells them no.

2. Found family: the OT3 edition. To answer your question, the OT3 is indeed canon, confirmed by the creator. Now, usually, “confirmed by the creator” infuriates me because most of the time it’s a way for a creator to be seen as “progressive” without doing anything to actually be progressive. That isn’t the case here. The OT3 are built up carefully and while it is obvious the creators didn’t originally intend for all 3 of them to become a relationship in the romantic sense, by mid-season 5 we are given a very clear picture of where Parker, Hardison and Eliot are heading in their relationship. There aren’t any kisses at the end to signal this but there are solid marriage vows in not only one but two episodes. (And by marriage vows I mean literal equivalents of marriage vows: “for better or worse” and “’til death do us part”. I’m not even exaggerating). The OT3 also doesn’t need explicit romantic narratives to convey how much they love each other. Their love is laced through the whole show, from the way they teach each other things to the way they respond to each other and work as a unit. The way they fiercely protect and admire each other. Like someone once said, if you need characters to kiss or say I love you to let the audience know they love each other, you are writing them wrong. 

Aside from that, each of the parings in the OT3 are just. Gah. They are so well done, with friendship being the solid basis for them all. The creators never expect the audience to assume anything about them or fill in the gaps. They give us their relationships on screen and reference many things off-screen to show us how these relationships continue to build in between episodes.

Hardison and Parker are a canon couple and date in the show: it’s approached slowly and they are so goddamned sweet. They are basically every fluffy slow-burn trope with a healthy dash of mutual pining in the mix. They are basically that quote “love is patient, love is kind”. (I would like to add their romance never becomes the focus of the show or overrides the importance of any other relationship they have with the other characters, especially Eliot.)

Hardison and Eliot are the Old Married Couple and from day one are already bickering and looking at each other/making comments that are found in every UST fic ever (not to mention Hardison has a very good knack for making Eliot grin like a little kid, when usually he’s basically an Angry Little Chef Man). They argue, they play, and love each other plain as day. 

Parker and Eliot are more subtle but every bit as wonderful. They have an unspoken connection and understand each other on a level no-one else can. Parker and Eliot are not good with giving themselves over to affection for different reasons (and Hardison plays a central role in helping them realise it’s okay to want it and have it- that boy has endless patience) but there is something so beautiful in the way the two of them come together on their own and develop their own special bond that works for them. Parker and Eliot are that trope where the characters don’t need to speak to understand each other perfectly. They just do. Their love language is a lot of the time non-verbal but speaks volumes. (Parker also likes to annoy the hell out of Eliot and Eliot....just.....lets...her. Because he’s soft. The softest, grumpiest boy.) 

I could go into so much depth for each pairing and their dynamics as a 3 but that's for another post.

3. Subverting stereotypes. There is the occasional hiccup in the show regarding stereotypes but ultimately, Leverage gets an A+ when it comes to writing characters and making them 3 dimensional people who are not defined by certain characteristics or events. Nate could so easily fall into the White Man Pain trope where he uses the trauma of losing his kid as a reason as to why he is entitled to act like a dick. Nate is a dick but he doesn’t use his pain to excuse it and I appreciate that. Hardison is a black man who is soft and nurturing. Easily the most empathetic and patient of the group. He’s nerdy, an actual genius, and has the biggest heart of all the characters. Nate is maybe the glue but Hardison is definitely the heart. Media’s usual aggressive, amongst other, racist stereotypes can fuck right off. Parker is canonically autistic (I am sure this was confirmed by one of the creators) and she is not defined by it. It’s not written as some kind of singular personality trait. It’s part of what makes up Parker but it’s only one facet of who she is and not once is her actions, thoughts or feelings treated like a joke. Sometimes people don’t understand why she does and says the things she does but it’s met with patience and fondness over the course of the show. Equally, it’s not met with over-caution. Parker is just Parker. No-one tries to change her. The other nice thing is Hardison, who always makes sure Parker knows she’s amazing because of who she is and not in spite of it. Finally, Sophie is in her 40s. She’s not treated like she’s past her prime. Ever. She’s sexy, smart and never is she pitted against or compared to Parker (who is younger) for anything. Sophie is amazing and there’s never even a conversation of “I may be older but I am still *insert adjective typically associated with younger women here*”. Sophie is possibly the first female character I’ve ever seen who isn’t just unapologetic about her age but has never had to apologise for her age. It’s a non-issue and that’s that. The women on the show are written so well, right down to secondary characters and it’s beyond refreshing.  

4.) It’s just fun. The show has a “monster of the week” type format. Except instead of a ghoul or a ghost, the monster is some corrupt wealthy and powerful individual or organisation. The show draws on real-life individuals to do this and therefore closely parallels real-life people and events. It addresses important political, economical, social and environmental issues while at the same time remaining fun and light-hearted. The characters constantly get the chance to play dress up and by GOD do they have fun with it. You get to watch Eliot beat up bad guys in the most delightful of ways, usually after a witty non-sequitur and with a weapon you’d never think could be a weapon. The dialogue and back and forth between the characters is everything. And finally - my favourite thing- the team can never resist striking a dramatic pose after they’ve taken down the bad guy, making sure the bad guy sees them. I mean, they COULD just walk away, satisfied they’ve taken the person down, but nope. They gotta be dramatic bitches 24/7 and pose like they are models for every single month of this year’s Criminal Calendar.  

5.) Competence Porn. So. Much. Competence Porn.  

Honestly, I could list a thousand reasons for why Leverage is amazing but to list them would to be spoiling so many amazing moments you’d get to discover for the first time on your own if you do choose to watch it. It’s the kind of show you can watch with an eagle-eye and sink your teeth into. But it’s also the kind of show if, you would prefer, put on in the background for something entertaining while you do something else. Each episode is about the job at hand but it’s made up of so many moments between the characters that show how much the creators and writers care about them. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll do whatever it is you do when something Soft and Wonderful happens that makes your heart melt. I am so beyond grateful for Leverage. It’s everything I always wanted in a show. Nearly every show I’ve watched in the past 10 years has disappointed me in some way, usually either because the writers run out of steam or characters who I love are treated poorly or given some kind of unnecessary “shock value” arc. Leverage doesn’t do that. Leverage is what it says on the bottle. Fandom isn’t something I joined because I needed canon fix-its. Fandom only enhances and celebrates an already excellent canon.