#maybe this'll motivate me to write more fics

[lovesickgoose]

Powder Blue ▪︎ Trant/Titus ▪︎ Explicit 🔞 ▪︎ 2,323 words

"A recently officially divorced Trant visits possibly the worst glory hole in the local area. He's not done this kind of thing before."

[thetwelfthcrow]

I would love to ask you anything about any upcoming fics you have but I also don't want spoilers so 😭

well! then i will tell you spoiler-free what my upcoming projects are!

currently finished & posting:

racing heartbeats finished her up entirely! is posting every other week now :)

actively working on:

only bought this corset so you can take it off with @pinkjamblesss !!

will start on these soon:

keep me under the charm 2/3 parts finished (60k), brainstormed the majority of part 3. will start writing when i've got more time, in a month or so.

you crawled inside my head and set a fire there instead the soulmates fic! only got to write a sex scene. so, hopefully, will finish that after kmutc!

brazil, 2022 brainstormed this. a threesome fic. recently also read all those lewis/max/charles fics so i am itching to work on this lewis/max/checo fic!

the netflix padel event this is such a silly idea but i think it'll be a fun oneshot. got it fully brainstormed, will work on it after kmutc, or maybe if i'm blocked on that. i think this'll be 10k tops.

H2O ! 4433 the mermaid!lewis fic! i think this'll be a big one so it depends on how much energy i have left after finishing kmutc. it's got quite a structure but not everything's planned out yet. i take ideas !!!

i'm a cult leader, mind reader, heart eater the championship whore club! bit of a longer oneshot, maybe 25k. got a broad outline but still have to work on the finer details

a couple bodies in the garden where the grass grows serial killer!max but it's not an au. i think it'll work best if either i pick the 2021 season for this or max gets challenged a bit more this season. or maybe i'll pick 2018 for funsies. or make up a season, we'll see. i need this man Frustrated

got your naked pictures and i keep 'em in a folder the first 4433 fic i ever brainstormed. gotta take a long hard look at her to see if i'm gonna keep what i have now bc it's all very spontaneous and open and without any plan so. gotta. find a story there first lmao.

i shake my milk until it's sweet and has a sugery taste #primary teacher!max, au where max is a teacher for lewis (and nico's) daughter. max can't stand lewis at first, but then he slowly falls in love... | brainstormed with all of you! if you have ideas, please send me an ask!

other stuff for the future

i'm planning on picking up art again! it's been a while and i've never really drawn people but i do enjoy tracing pictures to put these boys into situations. i think it'll be nice to do a little doodle thing on @theeleventhcrow where people send me horny images and i'll try and draw the driver's faces on it. could be fun idk. i'm not good at art but i feel a little bit motivated for the fist time in a long while!

depending on how life is gonna look like and how my fic ideas are gonna be and if it all goes how i want to or if i randomly get a 350k fic idea (unlikely!), i might open commissions! but i'm not even sure if people would want to pay for my writing. it could be fun to try and write new things bc of it, you know? we'll see.

[miss-writes-a-lot]

An Update

Time for my monthly post explaining why I'm not putting out content for my ao3! Warning, it is long and a bit vulnerable. Trigger warnings for depression, anxiety, chronic pain, intrusive thoughts, and some self-destructive ideation.

Mainly it's college. College has been kicking my ass this spring semester. It feels as though with each semester that passes, I get less and less time to work on things. Even now, my spring break week, I have to read three different essays for a timed essay coming up next week. So, in general, it feels like I don't really have a break to myself and to do things for me most of the time.

For the part, I've just been depressed. I don't share this a lot but I have been dealing with chronic pain since I was 16 that just this past summer has gotten worse. And of course, doctors don't know what it is! Hooray!/s. It's taken a lot of energy out of me and has made me reflect on how much I seemed to have taken for granted when I was "healthy", and it leads me to feel so down about how nowadays, it feels like I can hardly do anything or go anywhere without worrying about being sick or getting fatigued easily.

It's been draining me dry and I can hardly bring myself to do my work, or even write this post. I lay awake wondering what's wrong with me and being paralyzed by the fear of it being something really serious, maybe even deadly (though that still has not been confirmed). It's hard to take care of myself or even think semi-positively about myself. There was a good chunk of this month where I could barely sit and have proper conversations with people because I'm either too focused on the pain or too in my own head, thinking about how these people must hate me when that probably isn't the case at all. It made it difficult for me to want to go to school and sometimes to even try and find help or help myself.

And overall, it's been hard to motivate myself. I have ideas that I want to write and fics I want to finish, but with a combination of said depression, lack of motivation, lack of self-confidence, and probably genuine laziness, I haven't written anything that doesn't feel rushed or right to me. I scrutinize everything I write, both past and present. Just an hour or two ago, I was reading through an old fic I wrote (Suzume's 2nd debut fic) and noticed a redundant sentence, and the overall vibe/voice for the fic and damn near went into a spiral about how bad it was and how much I dislike it now, which has made it difficult to see any potential in myself as both a writer and a valuable person.

I am getting help now, feeling a tad better but still struggling with a lot that is really personal and I don't feel like getting into all of that right now. I am going to try and work on a fic again, just because I haven't written anything proper in a while and I genuinely do miss it! But, I might take the last three days of my break off from everything. Maybe try and let myself be lazy so maybe I can recuperate. I bought some stuff like planters and seeds so I can get a garden going. Maybe it'll be my new hobby! I did say I was going to try and go outside more. Maybe this'll be good for me.

Hoping to at least do what I did last year and post some things to this blog specifically and see if anyone is interested in what I have going - both fanfiction and original work alike.

Thanks to everyone for sticking with me through these trying times. Maybe one day this year, we'll see some sort of progress or betterment in the world. That's the hope at least.

Hope to see you all soon!

[haysprite]

Hi sillies, just wanted to give a quick update on some things >:3 This is gonna be long, you don't have to read it ofc, but there's some important stuff!

I'm gonna finally set up the lil Legion Q&A sometime next week on one of my days off! Doodling has been v nice and I think this'll be a lot of fun to do, cause it allows me to both doodle and answer some silly questions about my Legion interpretation ! I'm just gonna have it stay on this blog just for my sake (having a separate blog would stress me out a bit lmao, and I don't like having my work in separate spaces aside from Insta), so you'll have to clarify stuff in your Asks, but I think it'll be a lot of fun!

Also I've really enjoyed reading all your Asks n whatnot! Due to work, answering em is gonna be a lot slower than usual unfortunately, since I prefer to type on my laptop which I v much cannot have at work, which you've probably already noticed. I'm slowly but surely catchin up tho, and would still love for you guys to talk about your silly things! I also hope you guys know that even if I don't agree with your headcanons/theories n whatnot, I still enjoy reading em and they always get me thinkin as well, allowing me to give my own personal take on em, so please don't ever hesitate to talk about whatever! This is a safe space to share your ideas and I love that you even wanna bring em up to me in the first place <3

Something that I'm gonna clarify now that even when the comic comes out, my *personal* interpretation will stay the same except for whatever I pick and chose from the comic's canon! I'm v excited for it, esp after reading the quick blurbs and seeing a page from it, and can't wait to see what they do with these funky lil guys, BUT I still really enjoy my version of em, so I'm gonna stick to what I'm doing now :3 I doubt anyone really cares about this, but yknow dslkfjlfkdsj its something I'm a wee bit insecure about so I just wanted to point that out now. Also I dunno if I'll ever draw the comic designs? They've grown on me the more I've seen em, but I've grown too attached to my own lmfao, maybe in a lil drawing challenge I will tho idk :3

Speaking of the comic, I will most definitely be reviewing it !!! I'm gonna post live reactions on Twitter (spoiled, ofc), and then save my final thoughts for Tumblr since I can go more in depth here ! I also would love to redraw some of the panels with my designs as well since I think that'd be funny! I'm also gonna review the Legion Mystery Box that dropped yesterday, cause I bought that thing IMMEDIETLY so I wouldn't miss out on it !!!

I also really wanna start writing some fanfics! I've been talking about this for a while, but I'm hopefully gonna start sometime over the weekend inbetween my shifts! Dunno if they'll be good, but at this point I just gotta stop worrying about that and remember that my work is for me first, and then for some reason a few of you dorks like it as well! They'll probs just be oneshots to start out since I'm v out of practice and wanna figure out how I wanna write these guys, but maybe I could start a fic in the future idk!

Art is gonna become a lot slower unfortunately, I'm workin 40-50 hour weeks now, but I'm still gonna try and get somethin out for y'all at least once a week, since I really do love drawing! I have so many ideas that I'm just itching to draw and share with you folk! I'm still always up for art or doodle ideas/requests as well, though they might take a hot while to finally get to!

Just wanna mention that I'm a lot more active on Twitter, where I just talk about whatever, share game clips, and interact with folks the most! Feel free to check it out if you'd like :3

Just wanted to thank you guys for all your support on my work, I really appreciate it! It helps motivate me a lot to keep at it on top of my desire to show my love to my favorite characters and franchises, and I love that I can share my ideas and artwork with you all! <3

[friendsforanotherday]

honestly thank fuck for Alex’s stream tonight bc i need a distraction before i fully go Bad Feral again

[bireggiemantle]

ok well this is my fic request

jughead taking care of tabitha when she's sick (idk, with a stomach bug) or vice versa.

i just thing it would be cute xD

I've never actually written a sickfic before and I'm going through a little bit of a rough patch with my motivation to write so this'll be an interesting little exercise for me lmaoo. I hope you like it <3

-

"Hey," Jughead says, gently pushing the bedroom door open. "Pop sent me home with a care package."

Tabitha readjusts herself in bed, positioning herself so that she's sitting a little more upright against the pillows. She looks better than she did yesterday, but the circles under her eyes are still dark and her skin is still covered with a thin layer of sweat, so she's still undeniably sick.

"Did you tell him you already made soup?"

"You and I both know that he wouldn't take no as an answer." Jughead places the bag on the nightstand beside her, opening it to reveal two containers of soup, one tomato and one potato and leek, and a bottle of ginger ale.

Tabitha rolls her eyes, smiling. "At least I have some variety in soup options now."

"Having my chicken noodle soup everyday wasn't cutting it for you anymore?"

Tabitha starts to laugh, but it's broken by a loud cough.

"Shit, you okay?" Jughead asks, reaching for the ginger ale and a cup she's been keeping on the nightstand.

"It's just the flu, babe. I'm not dying."

Jughead pauses, frowning.

"You can still pour me some soda though. I'm kinda loving this whole 'as you wish' thing you've got going on. It's very 'The Princess Bride'." Tabitha says, smirking.

"You know I wouldn't drink poison for you, right?" Jughead says, handing her the cup.

She thanks him before taking a long sip. "Yes you would. And you'd wear his pirate outfit if I asked you to."

"But seriously," Tabitha starts. "Thank you for the soup. And for my granddad's soup. And for watching the diner. I feel useless here in bed. There's only so much joy the Food Network can bring a girl."

Jughead takes a seat on the lower half of the bed, placing his hand over top of her's in the empty space beside them.

"You're sick, Tabs. None of the customers want you coughing on them. Besides, Pop and I have it under control. He knows how to run that place better than anyone."

"Yeah, but still. I hate doing nothing. You know that." She takes another sip of the ginger ale before placing the glass back on the table. "The doctor said this should only last a week. He better be right."

"Are you threatening the doctor?"

Tabitha shrugs. "Maybe I am. He's gotta cure me, or else."

Jughead laughs, giving her hand a squeeze.

Neither of them say anything else afterwards, instead falling into a comfortable silence. Tabitha switches the TV back on, keeping it on a low enough volume to avoid disrupting the peace, and it isn't long before she's lulling her head against the pillow and falling into a much needed sleep, forgetting about Jughead, and the Food Network, and the many, many bowls of soup.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

I know you said black mercy has been overused, but I think we like it so much because decent fic writers (like you) don't just use it for the shock value or torture porn, it allows us to explore the psyche of these characters and dig deep into what motivates them to make choices the actual writers on the show never explore (ie Kara's fear of abandonment or the fact that Lena's fear of being just another Luthor glosses over her deeper fear of being so out of control of her own destiny). Which is one of the reasons I'm trying not to get my hopes up for the Superfriends going to the Phantom Zone excursion--Kara has been stuck there for five episodes now and had absolutely no emotional growth or introspection because they've made it a buddy/dad adventure instead of exploring her trauma. But I digress, in my ideal world (world of fanfics, lol) we'd get to see Lena go to phantom zone and face her deepest fears to continue this great trajectory of growth we've been given this season, and dive into what those last hurdles might be that are keeping her from 'being happy'. (They would NOT be Lex related imo). If we got something like that, I think she'd step through the portal and either 1) find herself completely alone, just--all of the Superfriends have disappeared and she's alone in the dark. Because it's like she can't leave what's bad for her without losing the good too or something. OR 2) she'll stumble through the portal and end up right back in the tower where Alex and Kelly and everyone are surrounding a wounded Kara and she'll rush to help, so relieved even if she can't remember how they got her back and it'll be intense and there'll be hugs and sobs but then when Kara's lying there, clearly needing rest, and everyone's murmuring goodbyes Lena's heart might jump in her throat because Kara asks her to stay behind for a moment. And she thinks maybe this'll be it, she can tell Kara how much she's missed her, how much she loves her--but Kara speaks first, voice gravelly and exhausted, but eyes clear and as blue as ever, "I don't think we can be friends anymore." Hammering home that her biggest fear isn't that she can't save Kara--but that she WILL and it still won't be enough.

Okay, first of all, bish, you come into MY HOUSE, and start whispering all sorts of angsty goodness into my ear, and then DON’T provide me a fully formed fic for me to read??? How dare you!!! Jail for nonnie! Jail for one thousand years!!

Second of all, my black mercy comment was really more a commentary of myself than of fandom as a whole, considering I’ve postulated, at least four different supercorp black mercy ideas over the years, and like, all of them are domestic bliss. So like, if anyone wants to write another black mercy fic, they should. It’s not a tired trope if it’s someone other than me writing it.

Thirdly, you should really write a fic. I’d read the shit out of it.

[myownworstenemyyy]

1/ Okay, let's do this. Buckle up, because knowing me this'll be rather long! First up, "All I wanted" AKA probably my favorite Javi series of all time. Chapter two still makes me feel things no matter how many times I re-read it (it's probably on the double digits at this point). I absolutely adore the "we slept together once and don't know how to handle our feelings" premise AND the "the person I love just got captured and damn if it's not making me rethink some things" premise. ~ 🍪

2/ You put both together masterfully and in so doing wrote a beautifully written fic that mixes angst and fluff in perfect proportions. Then the ending went and murdered me, but thankfully you wrote and alternate ending that's the only canon we accept in this house. Sorry, tears of joy only! | All right, next up is "Mariposa Traicionera". Now, I know this is an incomplete fic that you haven't updated in a long time, but it's really good. ~ 🍪

3/ It has an original premise that I haven't seen around much, one that I'm very much interested in. The way you've been developing said premise leaves nothing to be desired, and the last chapter in particular was just *chef's kiss*. I loved the way Javi and the Reader feel a pull towards one another, one that they can't ignore. I love the angst of Reader knowing that she's lying to everyone she meets and I really feel for her. ~ 🍪

4/ I don't know if you plan to continue this fic or not, but if you do, I'd be eternally grateful (no pressure, though. Write what you want to write when you want to write it. Everything you post is a masterpiece anyways, so...) | Also, shout-out to "I want to protect you" for being an adorable one-shot that broke my heart and then immediately mended it. It was beautiful and I loved it, thank you for writing it. Basically, your Javi writing is top notch and I absolutely love it. ~ 🍪

5/5 You also wrote "Breathe me", a Mando one-shot that I have conflicted feelings about. On the one hand, its beautifully written and really showcases your talent as an author. On the other hand, I cried when I read and those werent tears of joy, let me tell you. Who gave you the right to hurt me like that?? (But yeah, it was amazing even through the pain). | So, yeah, I think that's all I have to say for now. Thank you so much for being such a good writer, and I hope you have a nice day! ~ 🍪

dude i don’t even know what to say to all these wonderfully kind words 🥺😭😭 what a lovely thing to wake up to, especially with the way i’ve been feeling about my writing lately 🥺🥺🥺 i can’t thank you enough for sending me these thoughtful messages, i’m seriously bawling right now 😭💜💜💜

okay, first of all, HOLY SHIT YOU’VE READ CH2 OF AIWWY TO THE POINT OF REACHING DOUBLE-DIGITS??!!??? 😭😭 that alone makes me so happy, i can’t even put it into words what this means to me (what ALL OF THIS means to me 🥺) and sorry not sorry about that ending lol but i’m glad you enjoyed the alternate ending!

honestly, i was surprised you even mentioned Mariposa, it’s been so long since i’ve updated that series 😅 but i am sosoSO THRILLED that you like it because i really love that series as well (and i plan on continuing it! i’ve already started on Chapter 4 and i’m hoping to post it maybe by next week?) and omg “i want to protect you” is probably my favorite Javi oneshot/request so far i go back and read it every once in a while lmao it really warms my heart that you love it too!

and oh gods, “Breathe Me” was so like painfully cathartic for me to write and i really want to write more for Din in general (really i just have to get out of my own way and get over my fear misrepresenting the star wars universe 😅).

my love, my sweet, thank you so very much for your kind words and thoughts. i don’t know what brought this on nor what i did to deserve such wonderful comments on my writing, but i am overflowing with gratitude. you’ve truly brightened up my day and provided me with some much-needed motivation to continue writing. thank you, my friend. i hope you have a beautiful day, week, month and LIFE 😘💜💜💜💜💜