#maybe writing this down will help idk!

[fatty-ribs]

I haven’t touched on my illness on here in a very looooong time but I’m a lil anxious to start my new medication, rituxan. It’s more aggressive than any other medication but that’s not what’s giving me anxiety. Like yes it’s scary what it could do to you, like death is listed as a side effect, hello, but that’s not particularly worrisome for me. I’m more concerned with the fact that this will be my 9th medication for RA, and it will basically be my Hail Mary pass(sports!). If this doesn’t work then I have no idea where my treatment will go and that frustrates me. I see so many stories of people who have been on medication for 8 years+ and the longest I’ve been on medication was 2 years and it barely did anything for me. And if I do find a medication that helps a lot it will stop working after a few months 😩.

Anyways… my current doctor seems to be willing to try many things; she even was the first doctor to say that maybe a lupus diagnosis isn’t as far fetched as other doctors made it seem. Other doctors were so quick to say “it’s not lupus!” even with a positive ANA and RNP antibodies. So maybe she will explore treating me for lupus if this doesn’t pan out the way we hope it will. IDK!

I’m trying to stay positive because I’ve heard this medication works well for others who have RA but it would be cool if y’all could send me love and light or prayers or any positive thoughts. I’d appreciate it, truly.

[kirumiri]

these are a month old but i had a dream that kazuki and rei were turned into rabbits somehow, and miri was the only one who could understand them

[starrypawu]

just got rlly inspired to keep working on my au that i made a while ago

cracks knuckles

here we fuckin go babey

[reputatata]

i recently watched l.otr for the first time ever and i haven't been able to think about anything else tbh

[in-tua-deep]

i have a star wars fic idea floating around my brain that is just a time travel fic centering around bodhi rook where part of the explanation for a suddenly-force-sensitive-bodhi is "the monster tore parts of me out and maybe that made more space for the force to fill in the gaps"

[edgydroned]

what's with the hate for uzi's dad

do i really have to spell it out

[waywardsalt]

probably going to rework my human bellum design again

[littlestsnicket]

maybe the radovid&phillipa fic should be about planning the coronation? like something needs to be happening in the background to explore the character dynamics and i don’t think i want this to be a long thing. even with that limited scope it could still potentially be long, but it could start with vizimir’s funeral and radovid just very suddenly stands up to dijkstra and is like ‘no i am the king of redania and you will involve me in the planning of my coronation’. and then the whole thing can be the fallout from that.

dijkstra’s displeasure and concern that vizimir was easier to manipulate (or at least he thought he was). he played all his cards with radovid who is like ‘what are you going to do have me assasinated?’ with his patented pouty face.

and philippa’s pleasure that radovid is so much more interesting and fun to play with because he can be reasoned with and wants philippa’s approval for some reason neither of them really understand.

and radovid’s desperate desire to do anything to distract himself from his complicated feelings about jaskier. because he realized he’s been depressed all of his life and saw how it could be for a moment and needs so badly for things to not be like they were.

yeah, this is something. not a whole fic yet, but something.

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt Sif Odile duo looping au again and I wanna be able to plot everything out more coherently but act 5 eternally looms overhead and boy I do not wanna look up

[foxcort]

His elder brother stood before him, whole and unmarred, and Tamlin felt as if all the air were expelled from his lungs. “Emrys.” A cruel, satisfied smile curved Emrys' mouth, the verdant of his all too familiar gaze alight with wicked elation. “Tamlin."

[smilesrobotlover]

Whumptober day 4- Shock

Ok I did as much research on this as possible and idk if it is actually accurate but I tried. Some of the stuff that is inaccurate can be assumed because they don’t know what they’re doing lol. Anyways, king of the Gerudo stuff! Centered around Orman, Ammon, and Terrako! Important to note that Ammon has a Sheikah prosthetic. Also fair warning, there is an electrical shock. Lofty, you know what’s about to happen….

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Terrako sprinted across the ruins, hopping when he reached a strange looking pedestal on the other side. Orman and Ammon slowly followed the little guardian, cautious of their surroundings. They were investigating ruins found near the castle, and Orman was surprised at how unique the ruins were. He’s seen many Sheikah ruins, and even the legendary Zonai ruins, but they didn’t look anything like this. Inside the ruins, there were strange lights that lit up the place, and even though it was filled with debris, it was surprisingly empty, save for the pedestal Terrako was at.

“What is this place?” Ammon muttered underneath his breath. Orman shrugged and walked over to Terrako, noting an electric circuit near a door.

“What is that?” Ammon asked.

“Dunno. Looks like it keeps the door open.”

“How is it still working after all these years?”

“I don’t know.”

Ammon put his hands on his hips and gave Orman a teasing smile.

“Why don’t you know anything?”

“Because I like to remain blissfully ignorant. Now come on.”

Ammon stared at the door for a moment before catching up to Orman.

“What exactly are we looking for anyways?” He asked when he reached the pedestal.

“Dunno, we need to investigate this place and report back whatever we’ve found, so that’s what we’re doing.”

“Investigate… investigate what?”

“Investigate something, I don’t know. Didn’t you listen to Rhoam during the briefing?”

Ammon scoffed and crossed his arms, looking around for a moment. “Welp, there’s nothing here. We can go home now.”

“Hold on now, we haven’t seen everything.”

Ammon groaned and spun around, staring down the empty room. “It’s just an empty room.”

“An empty room with technology still working! I’m sure that’ll be useful information.” Terrako beeped in response and Orman rubbed his little head. “See? The guardian agrees with me!”

Ammon rolled his eyes. “Just get him to record everything so we can leave.”

“Sure thing,” Orman put his hands on his knees and looked at the little guardian. “Ok Terrako, be a good little guardian and record everything so Ammon doesn’t blow a fuse!”

“Hey!”

Terrako made some beeps that Orman assumed was giggling, and he chuckled while Ammon huffed.

“Just wait until Rhoam hears about this. Harassment while on the job is no joke, you know!”

Orman smiled and rolled his eyes while Terrako looked around at some debris. He himself stared at the pedestal, having to agree with Ammon that there was nothing special of note here. He watched Terrako while Ammon continued to complain, curious at what the guardian was doing. Terrako studied every piece of rubbish and debris left in the ruin, and the little guardian found itself near a wall with a strange mark on it. Orman titled his head and walked over to Terrako, eyeing the symbol.

“What is that?” Ammon asked, not moving from his spot. Orman knelt down and brushed his hand against the symbol.

“You ask a lot of questions, Ammon.” He pulled back his hand to look at the dust on his gloves. Ammon scoffed and turned back around.

“I ask a lot of questions you don’t know the answers to apparently,” he grumbled to himself.

“It’s a mysterious ruin that has stuff we don’t understand, how do you expect me to know everything?”

“I don’t know, why don’t you know?”

“I’ve never seen it before!”

“Sounds like a weakness to me…”

“You’re a weakness to me.”

“No you are!”

Orman burst out laughing and Ammon did the same. Such ridiculous banter, what were they? Children? Terrako made a beep noise and Orman rested his hand on his head.

“What is it, little one?” He asked, and Terrako continued beeping, staring at the symbol on the wall. Orman narrowed his eyes as Terrako’s beeping got strange.

Suddenly, a bright light appeared, and electricity burst out from the symbol, hitting Terrako. Orman yelped and jumped back from the guardian as electricity spewed out of him. The lights in the ruin went out one by one, and all the technology started to spew out electricity and shutting down. Including…

Orman gasped as he spun around and saw Ammon’s prosthetic arm spew out electricity. His whole body convulsed and he collapsed to the ground, his muscles continuing to spazz.

“AMMON!” Orman cried, running to his friend. He grabbed his spear and brought it down on the emergency release button on the prosthetic, releasing it from Ammon’s arm. He ripped Ammon’s sleeve off and threw the prosthetic far away from both of them. “Ammon,” his voice shook as his hand hovered over his friend. His eyes fluttered open, and he stared up at the ceiling, dazed. He wasn’t unconscious, that was good, but it didn’t mean that the injury wasn’t serious. Orman listened closely to his breathing as he checked Ammon’s nub, cringing at the burns on where the skin was in contact with the prosthetic. That looked painful.

“Ok,” he whispered, “what do I do, what do I do?” He stared at the arm for a moment, then reached into his pouch and grabbed a bright bloom seed, smacking it on the ground to light up the area he was in.

“Ammon,” he said as calmly as he could, and Ammon looked over at him. “Are you feeling alright?”

Ammon frowned, taking in a shaky breath. “I—I can't feel my arm…”

Orman stared at him for a moment, then pursed his lips. “Which one? You’re kind of missing one of them.”

Ammon glared at him and Orman looked down.

“I guess you still have some of it…”

Ammon took in another shaky breath. “It feels… numb…”

“Well, I’m not surprised. Just focus on breathing alright? I’ll take care of this.”

Ammon nodded slightly, and Orman listened to his struggled breaths. That wasn’t good that he was struggling to breathe, but he could worry about it when it got concerning. He pulled out his canteen and began pouring it onto his burns. When his water emptied out, he grabbed Ammon’s canteen and emptied that as well. He then grabbed bandages he had in his pouch and gently laid them over his burned nub. He checked Ammon’s breathing again, and it seemed to have evened out.

“Ammon? How are you feeling now?” He asked.

Ammon shuddered and squeezed his eyes shut. “Like sh—“

Orman jumped when he heard a loud beep coming from Terrako, and he spun around to see the little guardian beginning to wake up. He sighed, and looked down at Ammon who was beginning to sit up.

“It’s just Terrako,” he muttered, and Ammon nodded.

“Ok… we should get out of here before something like that happens again,” Ammon said, laying back down when he wasn’t strong enough to sit up

Orman looked at the door that they came through and sighed.

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen any time soon.”

“What do you mean?”

Orman stood up and walked over to the door. “The door is shut.”

Ammon groaned. “Are you serious?”

“All the technology here shut down, including the door that you showed no interest in earlier.” He looked over at Terrako who was beeping slowly and barely moving. “I doubt he could open up this door in his state.”

“Wonderful… we’re stuck here…”

Orman walked over to Ammon and watched him carefully. He looked exhausted, and his expression was pinched in pain.

“You alright?”

“No…”

Orman rested his hand on his shoulder. They needed to find a way out, Orman would feel much better if an actual doctor took a look at him. Maybe princess Mipha or Queen Kailani would be able to help him. But he couldn’t do anything while stuck in here. He looked over at Terrako who began to crawl towards them, and he hummed.

“Terrako, do you have enough energy to call for help?”

Terrako beeped and Ammon sighed. “Shouldn’t he… save his energy… to open up the door?”

“It might take too long to do that. If we could call for help on the Sheikah slate, maybe someone can come for us?”

“Will that… even work?”

“I don’t know! Technology is weird, so it might!”

“Ah… well… let’s hope… so…”

Orman looked at Ammon worried as he began to drift off. He panicked for a moment and shook him gently.

“Hey, I don’t know if it’s safe for you to sleep, Ammon.”

Ammon groaned and kept his eyes closed, and Orman shook him again.

“Come on Ammon, please don’t fall asleep. I—I don’t know if I’ll be able to wake you up.”

Ammon opened his blue eyes and gave Orman a blank look. Orman sighed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sure you’re tired, but I’m not taking any chances until we can get out…”

Ammon sighed, annoyed and rested his head back, staring at the ceiling. Orman smiled slightly, then looked back at Terrako, who was barely moving. He didn’t know what the right thing to do was. They needed to get out to help out Ammon, but Terrako seemed to have used up all his energy on crawling towards them. Waiting for him to be strong enough to send a signal or to open the door would take too long, but what else was he supposed to do? And which one would be the fastest option? Orman groaned and leaned back against the rock, feeling his mouth drying up. Just great. He used up all of his and Ammon’s water to deal with the burn. They really couldn’t stay for long. Terrako beeped and began crawling to a wall, examining it.

“Hey, don’t send another electric shock through the building,” Orman warned. Terrako beeped again and clawed at the wall, and Orman gasped when some of it crumbled away. He shot up and knelt at the wall, pushing some of the rocks away. He felt a draft from a gap in the rocks and he cheered. “I think I found a way out!” Terrako made an offended beep and Orman chuckled. “Sorry. Terrako found a way out.”

Ammon cheered tiredly as Orman began moving the rocks out of the way, feeling the fresh air hit his face as the wall crumbled away, and soon there was a big enough hole for Orman to crawl through. He jogged over to Ammon who had his eyes closed, and Orman’s heart skipped a beat.

“Hey,” he shook him, a little too aggressively, and Ammon groaned. “I’m sorry, but I need you to stay awake.”

Ammon glared at him, lifting himself up shakily. Orman helped him sit up and he pointed to the hole.

“Do you think you could crawl through that hole?”

“Yeah, yeah I can do that,” Ammon muttered, slowly standing up with Orman’s help. But when he took a step, his knees buckled, and Orman nearly yelped when he caught him.

“Ok, just wait here…” Orman gave Ammon a pat on the shoulder before standing up and grabbing Ammon’s arm. He then took his belt and Ammon’s belt and strapped the exhausted Terrako to his chest. He swung Ammon’s arm over his shoulders and walked over to the hole.

“I’m fine, Orman. I can crawl through on my own,” Ammon said, sounding more sure of himself this time. Orman nodded, figuring Ammon needed to get used to his legs a little more. Orman went in first, sighing with relief when he was outside, and helped Ammon crawl out. He stood up, helping Ammon on his feet and looked at the castle.

“How are we gonna explain this?” Orman muttered to himself, thinking about what they found at the ruins. “The weird electrical shock, the symbol that caused all this… all of it…”

“Just tell Rhoam Terrako did it,” Ammon said, causing Terrako to make an offended beep. “Hey, I’m not technically wrong.”

Orman chuckled at the two and pulled Ammon’s arm slightly.

“Well, we have time to figure it out, come on, you need help.”

Ammon nodded and stuck close to Orman’s side as they began walking towards castle town. Orman kept a close eye on his dear friend, the feeling of worry never really going away even as he walked along the field. But he supposed that there was not much else he could do except to make sure he was well enough to make it to a healer. Until then, all he could do was worry.

[tarmac-rat]

TFW you're two weeks removed from leaving your entire life behind and moving to Night City but you're restless and anxious and can't sleep so you sneak out in the dead of night and do something reckless and the only person you know who can fix you up is that old doctor guy your new friend took you to see in a basement last week for back alley chrome and fighting tips.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(insp.)

[wakkoroni]

hey so i saw your post about nico being happy and the line about him being manic: could you expand on that hc, I'm curious now you've said it

Heyyy sorry im kinda answering this a little late but id love to expand on it!

I’m glad you asked I was kinda waiting for someone to comment on that and I was going to expand on it and then… forgot- I actually had like a whole fic planned for it and never followed through because idk life happened or smth BUT

Just want to clarify that I have done research to the best of my ability and although this may not be the most medically accurate hc, it is a hc so don’t take it too personally

So manic episodes can happen regardless if the person is bipolar or not, someone doesn’t have to be bipolar to experience manic episodes. Sometimes highly stressful situations and trauma and cause manic episodes (both of which Nico very much has and if Nico is bipolar I wouldn’t be suprised but anyway-)

I don’t think the headcanon of Nico being manic is too far-fetched because have you seen him??? Like I just think it fits because he is pretty impulsive and I feel like there would be times where Nico just has really high energy levels (which is a good and a bad thing) and when it first starts Will is like “oh yay- are you okay?” Nico dismisses it as like “I’m getting better” and Dionysus is just staring at him like “I have news for you-“ and ruins his day

With the help of Dionysus he learns to manage it and Will helps out too by noticing the signs. Mania has different levels so maybe his might not be a high extreme so maybe hypomania or smth but it’s there.

It’s the little things that sell the hc really

Thanks for the ask! I wish I could explain how I got to this hc but I really don’t remember how- I just have the hc running around in my head

[pyra-colony-au]

think ive got a solid idea for jazz//prowl for this au

[kohakhearts]

hey that pokemon 2000 gifset + your jn dub analysis made me think about the pokemon 2000 dub - I've only seen it subbed once (compared to the hundred times I watched it dubbed as a child) so I could be misremembering, but didn't the dub completely change the themes of the movie with the chosen one ash thing?

i actually haven’t watched the sub nearly as many as times as the dub either :p but i have read extensively about this topic bc it’s personally my favourite pokemon movie and yes! the first and second pokemon movies are both victim to this (like mewtwo’s epic speech we all love so much at the end of the first movie…being a complete fabrication by the dub team :p you gotta give those writers credit - they were VERY good at what they did), largely i’m guessing due to cultural values and expectations. since they were trying to sell the anime to an american audience, not a japanese one.

tangentially, i will say i also think that’s the root of this like…subtle distinction some people have between the characters “ash” and “satoshi.” i don’t differentiate them in any big way myself because fundamentally they still are very much the same, but it is true that in japanese, ash has somewhat different mannerisms and responds differently to events at times, especially in the early anime when it was so much easier to get away with making big changes for…a big assortment of reasons haha.

in THIS movie in particular, some of those things are like…well. the prophecy is probably the most obvious change. the dub team rewrote it to include the chosen one reference, which works great because of the word play on ash’s name. in japanese, it just says “an exceptional trainer will appear to help calm the wrath of the gods.” ash’s response to this is more mild trepidation than outright fear. he doesn’t hesitate like he does in the dub. and tbh? both reactions make perfect sense for his character in my opinion.

in japanese, his concern is more "do you really think i can fit that role?" this...tracks pretty well with his character development by this point. like yeah he said he could win the indigo league, but he's also thinking about dropping out after gary loses; it's that little grain of insecurity he has, which he's normally good at covering up with arrogance (a lot of which is also very genuine, don't get me wrong). but he sees the opportunity to help and he takes it. that's just...what ash does.

in english, though, the prophecy is pretty clearly about him. there's no one else it could be. it has to be him. and he...doesn't like that? that scares him. which, fair. anyone would be terrified by being singled out like that. it's also so much...not ash's thing, even at this point in the series. his character development is about embracing having to work hard to do well. to keep trying until you get it right, no matter how many times you get it wrong. the idea of being a "chosen one" completely robs him of his ability to be so single-minded about what he wants his destiny to be that it manifests as pre-determined; it just...pre-determines it for him, if that makes sense. lol.

the thesis of the japanese version of the film is that no one person or pokemon can stand on their own. everyone needs help. it's about harmonizing with each other and with nature. about letting others help you, and helping them in turn. the english version rewrites that into a story about power and destiny. the title alone says it all, right? it's called "the power of one" - no reference to lugia, no reference to the birds. in japan, the title is about the revelation (or "birth") of lugia.

westerners love a good chosen one story, so this was a really good choice by the dub team in that respect. i mean, it's a narrative that's stuck really well. fandom loves chosen one ash! in general, western fanbases are really into this narrative. it's everywhere. and there's a lot that goes into that, culturally, and especially religiously, historically, etc. so at the end of the day, i don't think the change is so much about conflicting ideas about collectivism and individualism. it's more about goals and ideals, on a personal level.

let me say again for the 273456784th time, i love that they resolved ash's story by having him realize that the goal he's really been striving for all this time is to meet and befriend pokemon. to learn from them. to earn their trust. it's like...he did the thing that everyone else thought represented his goal, maybe even himself included, only to realize that his dream was never about the end of it anyway. it was about everything he learnt and everyone he met along the way. (i also suspect nobody writing in 1997 knew that that would be the ultimate resolution, either. but it makes sense in the entire context. it's kind of a nice irony, even. to only figure it out after writing the story :p)

and i think this little distinction is important to that goal! it's his whole character! which is why even though i too love chosen one characters, i don't necessarily think of ash as one. because even if he is, his whole Thing is that he wants to try. a lot of the chosen one narrative is about characters being reluctant to be used for a "greater good," or about them collapsing under that pressure. ash doesn't really have that. he does what he thinks is right because he...thinks it's right. sometimes, sure, others have to push him into it a bit, but usually they're actually pushing the other way - it's too dangerous, you're going to get hurt, etc. and to me, i don't know - thinking of times he's died, or nearly died, and some legendary or mythical pokemon has saved him at the last minute...i don't think that has to mean he's special in a cosmic sort of way. i think it just means he's special to them. that he did something for them, or for someone else they had come to care for (thinking manaphy responding to may's emotions, not just to the fact that ash was drowning, or in mpm ash convincing latios to trust him because of their mutual desire to save latias, etc.), and so they want to help him. which is completely opposite to the typical chosen one narrative, i think? because he doesn't do those things out of obligation...he does them because he thinks he can become a better trainer by doing them, and he wants to do that. and well. he did do that.

anyway my tl;dr here is YES they changed the theme a lot haha, but i find it fun that they also changed the characters’ responses to that theme. funnily that’s…kind of also what fanfiction writers do all the time, lmao, but that’s a whole other conversation.

[dullahandyke]

Anyway needless to say, college is showing me a whole slew of people who are using laptops in school for the first time and they're so bad at it. They're so bad at taking notes too. They're so bad at everything