Finding Memories. Prologue.
Series Summary: Waking up with little to no memory of her past, and being saved by a group of individuals who call themselves heroes, sends a long time captive for a whirlwind trying to find some form of grounding in this world she quickly learns runs on chaos. But she’s not the only one trying to figure out her forgotten backstory. Bucky Barnes, along with the other Avengers, can’t help but sense that there is a lot more to the whole situation than a diagnosis of amnesia. Her background slowly starts to come forward in pieces of her past and hidden information discovered. Who is she? And why was she in the room they were meant to destroy?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 4800+
TW: Torture, cussing, and blood.
A/N: And we are off with another series! This came to me with the thought of writing outside of my normal comfort zone. I’ve written so many characters that off the bat are badass and can hold their own. My personal favorite type of character if you haven’t noticed. BUT, I thought I would start this one a little differently. We will see where this goes. Hope you enjoy it and I’m excited to see what you all think of it! XOXOXOXO
Prologue:
It was dark. The only source of light was coming from the red lettering on the emergency exit with bright flashes of the floodlights flickering around the room.
For the first time in a long time, she didn't have bright fluorescent lights beaming into her soul while men and women in lab coats and sterile wear hovered over her and poked and prodded her exposed body.
The sound of alarms and shouting woke her up from the drug-induced sleep she was put under. She was groggy and discombobulated from her senses being overwhelmed by noises and lights she wasn't used to.
As a reflex, she used every ounce of energy she could muster up to pull her hands forward, but they were still strapped down along with the rest of her body on a cold metal table.
There was not a single patch of fabric covering her body and the cold air circulating the room made a rush of goosebumps envelope her body. The one thing keeping her from being completely exposed was the bindings across her chest and waist keeping her trapped on top of the cool metal.
The door she was facing shook as a loud bang sounded behind it. The adrenaline and terror starting to course through her veins gave her an extra bump of energy to wiggle more in her spot.
When she attempted to talk, it was muffled by another strap she noticed was tightly covering her mouth.
She groaned at the pressure all the restraints showed when she continued to try and escape. But it was pointless as she could barely make any movement that would be helpful in this situation.
Instead of wasting energy, she began taking in her surroundings. Most of the time she had been drugged up and unable to comprehend what was around her outside of the scientists and doctors who used her as a lab rat. So she wasn't surprised to see all the medical equipment alongside surgical tools laid out in a precise way on a cart next to her.
On the other side, she saw in her peripheral what looked like IVs and liquids. Deducting they were likely the drugs they had pumped through her veins all this time.
All this time... How long had she been here?
Everything was mostly a blur besides the experimenting and surgeries that had been forced on her.
She cringed at the only memories that came to the forefront of her mind. Luckily, it didn't last long as the sound of grunts and loud bangs came closer. And even those didn't have timestamps in her mind.
She looked at the door in front of her and her breathing increased in speed. She could hear screams and shots as a fight was clearly happening on the other side of the door.
"Bucky! Check that room!" A low voice sounded followed by another grunt and crash. "Nat said it's that one. Check for the weapon!"
"Behind you!" another voice shouted back before more shots rang out.
Her eyes were wide open and she began using the growing rush of adrenaline to jerk harder in her spot, trying her best to loosen her restraints even a little. But again, nothing happened besides the table shaking some from her struggle.
The next thing she knew, a loud crash sounded and she closed her eyes as the thick metal security doors to the room busted open.
Terror washed over her body as she imagined what waited on the other side, she knew the type of people who came through that door. Almost always, they were never there with friendly intentions.
"Steve-," the voice said in shock. "It's not a weapon."
No one answered him and she continued to keep her eyes shut tightly.
Her breathing became faster. The straps across her body became tighter with every quick breath she took, terrified of what was to come next.
"Hey, it's ok."
The voice was soft yet closer now. At least 3 feet in front of her, but the sound of his shoes stopped as he kept his distance.
"Jesus Christ," he muttered.
Her curiosity beat her nerves and she opened her eyes slowly to see a tall brunette man with an assault weapon in his arms. There was a cut above his eye down to his temple. It was bleeding but looked like it had stopped as parts of it were already dried. How long had he been here?
He pulled his gaze away from her bruised and beaten body, and looked around the room quickly, surveying what all it held, but immediately turned back to her.
"You're ok," he said in a gentle tone. He put a hand out attempting to show peace and noticed as her eyes followed down to the gun in his hand. He noted the fear in her intense stare and twisted the strap of the gun to his back so it was out of view. "I'm sorry. I promise I'm not here to hurt you."
Now both hands were out in front of him showing he wasn't planning on using any weapons on her.
He took a slow step forward and as a reaction, she began to fight against her restraints again, this time she had a little more force than her attempts before.
"Hey, hey," he stopped moving and relaxed his posture to seem less intimidating. "I'm one of the good guys. My friends and I are here to stop the people who are in charge of all this."
Her eyes stayed set on him and he noticed the sentence did nothing to ease her rapid heartbeat. It was beating like a baby rabbit who had just been caught in a trap.
"Listen, I know this is frightening, but I'm going to as gently as possible take the restraints off you," he said calmly, even though it was hard to keep that kind of tone when there were still guns firing with loud screams and chaos happening in the background. "Let me get you something to cover you up with," he said more to himself, but also out loud for her to know his next moves.
There weren't any outfits laid out around in the lab, but he did see a few lab coats hanging on the wall that would have to suffice.
Quickly moving to grab one, he placed it slowly over her as he went to work on the restraints. The first being her mouth.
"Ok, I'm going to remove this now, is that ok?" he asked. She didn't answer, but something about this man showed he wasn't a danger to her... Yet.
From what she did know about this place, everyone she met was there to hurt, harm, or use her, but there was something in his eyes and actions that showed he knew this type of situation from a prisoner's point of view. The look of pure sorrow and sympathy for this stranger in front of her was a hard one to fake.
She noticed he wasn't going to do anything without her permission as he was still waiting silently for her to give him some kind of signal that he could help. Though she appreciated that, he was still a stranger and strangers did lie. What if this was some new kind of torture they had come up with... It wouldn't be unlike them to trick her like this again.
But time was not something she had and when they both looked at the door that had more and more crashes coming from behind it and closer too, she didn't have time to be hesitant.
She gave him a small nod and he began to unbuckle the first restraint around her mouth, once free, she let out a deep breath.
"We are kinda on a time crunch, doll. So I'm going to get the rest of these off and we have to get moving," he said, moving to her hands and feet next.
Though she was still semi-incapacitated with the number of drugs and chemicals she had running through her veins, she did her best to unbuckle the straps along her torso and waist while he worked on the feet.
He finished the feet faster than she could, so he went to help around her chest area that she was struggling with.
He knew she was completely exposed, so after her permission again, he loosened it and she finished throwing it off.
Quickly and delicately helping her put the lab coat on, he looked toward the door that Steve was now running through.
"We got to go. Nat said the facility is going up in flames building by building. We have less than 5 minutes before this one is gone too," he instructed, looking outside the doors for any more enemies. It was clear for now. "What-" he froze seeing the young woman that was wrapped in a lab coat two times bigger than her.
"No weapon in here," Bucky answered the question written on his friend's face. "But we need to get her to the med bay, ASAP."
Steve nodded, walking closer and putting his hands out as he noticed her eyes still wide in fear.
"Can you walk?" he asked her.
She looked back at Bucky since he was the only one she had any form of association or trust with.
He looked at her nodding silently, sharing his trust in the blonde.
She attempted to take a step and her legs weakened. Bucky was quick to wrap an arm around her back and stand her up before she could fall.
"Ok, Buck, can you help her?" Steve asked, looking around the room for anything else to help them.
"I got her," Bucky nodded, wrapping a tight arm around her as she hesitantly threw her arm over his shoulder.
"Ok, follow me. The exit is on the west side. We have less than four minutes," Steve nodded, waving him on.
"Ok, let's go," Bucky nodded, adjusting his grip on her as she hobbled alongside him.
They got about two hallways over, and just as they were about to get to the exit door, another round of agents turned the corner and opened fire on them.
The two men quickly turned into another room that had already been infiltrated. Much like where they found the girl, this room also was set up as an experimentation room. But there was no prisoner in this one.
"Talk about commitment. They do realize that this place is going to explode in minutes with them inside it, right?" Bucky grunted, readjusting his grip on the girl who was slowly starting to gain strength as the minutes passed.
"As long as we're in here when the place goes up in flames, they win," Steve said, catching his breath and surveying the room.
"We need a plan," Bucky announced, realizing that they were at a disadvantage in keeping the girl alive while also going into what would be a war zone if they walked out of the room.
"I'm thinking," Steve was searching the room.
Bucky led the girl to a chair to sit in while they came up with a solution.
She sat quietly and also tried to think of ways to escape. It's what most of her daydreams were about, but she had never had the advantage of being freed from straps holding her down in her daydreams.
As Bucky and Steve ransacked the cabinets and carts for anything to help, she looked over the vials of liquids that sat in a secured airtight case.
She closed her eyes thinking back to some of the plans she had come up with and tried to remember one of the thousands of tricks she intended on using.
The code.
She thought back to the sound pattern that played every time they got a new drug from this type of case. But in a new room, the code could be different.
She looked back at the men who were preoccupied with knives and surgical tools. They were stashing them in the pockets that littered their uniform as they discussed a plan to infiltrate. Extra weapons sure, but nothing that compared to the ones she was looking at.
She moved down the bed enough to reach the safe on the cart next to her. Closing her eyes, she typed in the code by listening to the sounds it made. The first time played a sound showing her sequence was wrong. She huffed in annoyance and tried again. By the third time, it beeped and unlocked.
Letting out a hissing sound as the vacuumed sealed door opened, she began searching the vials.
She found ones she had learned and grown to know more than she had ever hoped anyone on this planet would have to.
She turned to the men and hobbled to them on shaky legs while using surrounding tables and furniture to get her there.
"We can make it, but what about her? She won't get past that corridor without some kind of injury," Bucky explained as they ran out of time. When he saw her out of the corner of her eyes, he turned quickly to steady her on her legs. "Whoa, what are you doing up?"
She didn't answer as she didn't trust her voice. She shoved the vials toward him.
"What is that?" Steve asked, looking at them cautiously before her.
She pointed to the door and then the knives they had stashed.
They gave her a pointed look confused by her silence.
She rolled her eyes and dug into Bucky's pocket pulling out a scalpel. Then quickly, she undid the small bottle that held the poison showing it to the brunette.
Bucky picked up on what she was saying.
"I think she's saying to cut them with this," he took the drug from her and she dipped the scalpel in it.
"What does it do?" Steve asked, taking the bottle and reading it.
The label read; DANGER. DO NOT INGEST OR ALLOW IN THE CIRCULATORY SYSTEM. PARALYSIS AND DEADLY SIDE EFFECTS CAN BE INSTANTANEOUS.
"How much ammo do you have?" Steve asked Bucky.
"About two rounds, but I'll have to resort to knives pretty soon."
"Ok, I guess follow her instructions. Even as skilled as you are with a knife, these guys aren't going down easily. Might as well take the extra precaution," Steve nodded. "We don't have much time. We have to go now."
"What about her?" Bucky asked, looking at the girl who was using the table for support now.
"Can you stay in here until we give you the all-clear?" Steve asked her. "We're going to clear out the hall and get a clear shot to the exit. Just stay out of the firing zone."
She nodded, but Bucky was against it.
"She can barely stand on her own. How do you expect her to run to the exit?"
"It's either that or get shot on the way out. We don't have many options or time to come up with anything else," Steve replied sadly.
"But-" Bucky began, but she put her hand on his arm showing there was no time to argue.
He didn't feel right not thinking of the pros and cons of this idea, but Steve was right. They didn't have the time to weigh every option. Their best shot was clearing the enemies out and quickly getting her out after.
"Ok, but as soon as it's clear, you have to get out of here. I'll try and meet you halfway to help," he looked at her as he moved himself to her level.
She nodded and handed off the weapons to him.
"Ok, let's go," Steve nodded, strapping his shield on tighter and moving toward the door.
"Stay away from the doors. In case someone comes in," Bucky instructed.
She tightened the lab coat to her and gave him a shake of her head that showed she would follow his instructions.
He was out the door seconds later and gunfire started back up. She cringed at the sound and went back to the small fridge that still held more serums in it.
She quickly riffled through them and investigated the labels. She read one's name that made her freeze as it registered why it meant something to her.
Hearing shots and grunts, she knew she didn't have much time. Quickly she put a few bottles into one of the pockets in her coat before grabbing a few more things and moving to the side of the door. Hidden from anyone that tried to come in, she waited for the all-clear.
"Hey! You can come out now! Quickly!" Bucky's voice rang from down the hall.
She did her best to move her still weak legs and looked out in the hall to double-check that it was still clear, Bucky was next to the door where Steve was outside waiting for the two. He waved her over and she quickly started running, but more so hobbled his way.
Just a short ten feet away from freedom, a hand grasped tightly around her ankle, halting her in her race, which caused her to fall hard on her knee before she was completely on the ground. She turned to the hand and tried to shake out of the grip, but the man's final mission was to keep her here with him to die.
She struggled as she tried to kick him, but her little bit of strength was nowhere near what she needed to escape.
"You're not getting away that easily, bitch," he said with blood covering his teeth and a dark grimace on his lips.
The voice was familiar, but she didn't know how. All she knew was that it infuriated her.
From her pocket, she grabbed a syringe she had filled with another drug that had a novel of side effects on it and stabbed it harshly into the center of his hand.
He let out a roaring scream as the liquid began to spread in his veins and he quickly lost control of the muscles in his hands as they seized, causing her to crawl away from any further assault.
If she was given a second longer to watch, she knew the types of lesions that would spontaneously appear. The drug she had stolen was not one for the strong let alone the weak.
She felt hands around her forearms start to pull her up, and by instinct, she fought back until she noticed who it was.
"It's ok, I got you," Bucky consoled, helping her to her feet. "We got to go. Come on," he picked her up bridal style quickly and took off where Steve was waving him to run.
Not even 10 seconds later and a couple dozen yards ahead, the building did what Natasha said it would.
The pulse of the explosion knocked the three to the ground, but no other injuries occurred as they made it out in time.
__________________________________________
She remembered the voice that was attached to the hand that had stopped her. She remembered the explosion. She remembered someone's body covering her as the building went up in flames and debris came falling down from the sky afterward.
But she didn't remember coming to the room she was in now, or the process of being hooked up all over again to machines and needles.
In a panic, she started pulling at the tubes and medical tape that were attached to her. She was sedated once again, so her struggle didn't make much of a difference. However, she was faster than the nurses because she was able to rip out an IV before they could hold her down.
She was screaming and grunting as she fought the four people who were trying to keep her in her bed.
The only thing making her pause and stop fighting was when a fifth person entered the room, pushing past the nurse closest to her head.
"Hey, it's ok! You're fine! They're here to help you. They aren't trying to hurt you," he chided her as she looked up at him with nervous and terrified eyes.
Recognition hit her causing her to ease her panic, but she still was trying to wrap her head around everything from earlier.
"Who are you?"
The first words she spoke. Her throat was hoarse and dry from not speaking all this time. Had it been days? Months? Years even?
Bucky was shocked at the sound even if it was small and barely coherent to a normal person's ears.
"My name's Bucky," he said simply. "Do you remember anything that happened recently?"
She looked at him confused as she registered that she did in fact know this man. She nodded in response.
A nurse moved to bandage up where she pulled the IV out and she drew her arm back, quickly back on alert.
"It's ok. They aren't going to hurt you," he reminded her softly and calmly, placing a hand on the edge of the bed in reassurance without touching her. "They're here to get you back on your feet, I promise."
She looked at his hand and then back at the nurse who was now waiting for permission to continue her job. She was hesitant but eventually laid her arm back out where the blood had already clotted. The nurse wasn't as shocked by it as Bucky, but she sent him a look that showed she would tell him in a second.
"You've been asleep for about two days. How are you feeling?" he asked, grabbing a chair and sitting in it next to her. His level was now below her to show he still was no threat.
"Thirsty," she answered, bringing her hand to her throat instinctively.
He chuckled at that and looked to the nurse who was already moving to get a glass of water.
"Sergeant Barnes, do you mind if I speak to you outside please?" she asked, softly while handing off the drink.
He acknowledged the question and followed her out. Before leaving the room, he turned back to see the Y/H/C-haired girl lift the drink to her lip and swallow the cold water with a cringe.
How long had it been since she had decent care?
Once the doors shut, he turned to the nurse with furrowed eyes waiting for her thoughts. She was one of the head nurses that worked on things like this for the Avengers. She was a retired agent that went back into the medical field after an injury of her own. She went by Nurse Alma and she was the only one not scared to tell it straight to the Avengers around her.
"That wasn't the first time we noticed the clotting," she got straight to the point. He gave her a look to continue. "When she got in, she had multiple bruises and puncture wounds that looked to be a day old or so, but about 5 hours later, they were all gone. Which if it is healing at that rate, by calculations, the marks were from earlier that day." She paused thinking about it more. "You told one of the other nurses she hit her knee on the concrete while trying to escape?"
"Someone grabbed her ankle while she was running for the exit and she hit the ground pretty hard. It didn't happen without a nasty sound," he answered thinking back to the injury he had witnessed. "Was it healed?"
"If it was there, it was gone by the time we got to her. No reminiscents of that kind of injury."
"So she heals fast," he concluded. "What about that poison she had us use?"
"Dr. Banner is still messing with it in the lab. It's nothing we've seen before."
Steve was walking up now and listening in on the last few words of the conversation.
"Is she ok?" he asked.
"She woke up about 5 minutes ago," Bucky answered. "Even said a few words too."
"Did we get a name?" Steve asked, hands on his hips.
"Not that far yet, we were just discussing how our new friend heals at an abnormal speed," Bucky replied.
"So, enhanced?" Steve deducted.
"Looking like it. I'm guessing nothing came back from the facilities database since you don't know her name either?" he asked.
"Nat's still working on it. So far no luck on any of our intel," Steve shook his head.
"We're going to keep her under observation for the rest of the day. Depending on how she is doing this evening, we will let you know if we will release her," the nurse stated. "It's a good thing we got her blood samples while she was asleep. I worry that with her reactions to most things, it could have triggered something while she was awake."
"Nothing else besides the healing so far though?" Steve asked.
"As of this second, only enhancement we've caught onto. I'll let you know if she uses the force on anyone anytime soon though," she winked going back in.
Clearly, she had worked within the Avenger's med bay long enough to know ways to lighten up a gloomy time.
"What did she say?" Steve asked, looking into the room where the nurse calmly and carefully told her what she would be doing next.
"Asked who I was and said she was thirsty."
"Nothing else?"
"I'm sure she will talk more once her throat heals from the lack of using it. That and when she trusts us a little more," Bucky noted, watching the girl monitor the nurse closely as she checked her blood pressure. "I know what it feels like to be in that position. We need to give her some space to trust us before asking too many things that can trigger her."
"I'll keep you updated on anything we find, but Nat says the database is highly coded. The intel we need for her may take a while to get it."
"Baby steps until then I guess..." Bucky sighed, turning back to the unknown woman. "Hey, do you think Tony would be willing to room her?"
"Um, I'm sure he wouldn't care," Steve replied. "Are they releasing her soon?"
"With how fast she's healing, no need to keep her in another cell with wires and IVs stuck to her," he shrugged, knowing how hard it can be to find trust in a new group when all they're doing is a different version of what you just got away from.
"Hey," Steve placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You ok?"
Bucky could sense the worry coming from his friend but nodded it off.
"You know how this stuff makes me feel," he nudged his head to the room as he turned to the side. "You would think people would learn, but we continue to repeat these kinds of issues."
"We'll get her back on her feet. Things will start to jog her memory and she'll be fine one of these days," Steve attempted to reassure. "Especially because you'll be there to guide her at the time she needs it the most."
"I don't know if I'm the man for the job," he started, still learning to come to terms with the fact that he had actually moved past a good chunk of his trauma. It no longer had the hold on him that it once did.
"Don't do that to yourself," Steve was quick to correct him. "You are a great mentor and have a very similar understanding to her situation many do not. You can at least guide her in the right direction for dealing with all this."
When Bucky didn't answer, Steve paused realizing the pressure he was putting on his friend.
"I'm sorry. I'm not saying all this to make you feel like you have to do any of that," he watched Bucky monitor the girl from the distance as he listened to his friend. "But I know you Bucky. You aren't one to leave someone behind. You always make time for the underdog."
"Who's to say she's an underdog?" he chuckled, knowing Steve was referring to the scrawnier version of himself. "She can heal herself, so what more is there that we don't know?"
The diversion from the conversation was a good one, but it didn't go unnoticed by the blonde.
"That's what I'm hoping one of us can find out. Be that you, or Nat first," he shrugged stepping away as a SHIELD agent paused next to him with a folder waiting to be read. "I'll keep you updated so long as you do the same," he shot a finger gun his way before turning and following the agent to his next task.
"If she's anything like me, I think Nat’s going to beat me out fast," he mumbled to himself before stepping back into the room.
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