#me alive. i am not a good person. i am cruel and selfish and inadequate. i hurt those around me and have no way of fixing it

[amethyst-skeleton]

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[silverypurple-rosedlions]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐔𝐧𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 : 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨 - 𝐎𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 (𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐧)

Yoon Jeonghan has authorized you access to Chapter One of Chapter Unlock, Yoon Jeonghan.

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🥀//TW: This will contain abuse, blood, violence, and mild language. If you are uncomfortable with what is listed, do NOT read as this warning is for your safety. Only read at your own risk and be prepared for what will be mentioned within this chapter. This does not promote anything mentioned in this, and keep in mind that this is for entertainment purposes, and ONLY relates to the backstories made within THIS world The Purple Rose is in.//🥀

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At one point in my life, I was obedient. I was a person that did as told, acting almost as if I were a robot given instructions, doing them according to the "system." But what would happen if I didn't obey? Of course, in return for not doing as told, I was scolded. That's what everyone goes through, am I right? That person reminds you of why it's essential, what its purpose is for you, or them. Or, they fix that "error" in that "system" you hold. As for me, I didn't want to be disobedient. I didn't want to be a person who disappointed others, appearing inadequate. However, I didn't always abide by the rules given to me. And because of that, I received a more extreme level of discipline for doing so. Not by friends or teachers, no. They saw something different. But it's no surprise that it was my parents. It's no surprise that my parents, neglectful and selfish, tainted by their disgusting pride, wanted the perfect "Angel" to use as a way to receive attention and praise, a way to degrade other children and parents of those kids... As long as I obeyed, they wouldn't lay a hand on me. As long as they were able to manipulate me, they gained their desires without a care in the world of who was in pain. They didn't even care if their son was suffering, not even if he was bleeding on the floor, crying for mercy on his poor soul.

I remember the day when it first started, the first sign of disobedience. It was a beautiful summer day, the grass was a luscious green, flowers scattered on the field, and children were running around. And there I was, the age of ten, sitting on a bench, waiting for my parents. I watched the other kids play, legs swinging, feeling lonely.

I stared at the kids, a soft pout on my lips as I watched them laugh and giggle, running together around the play structure. Their smiles were bright, the corners of their eyes crinkled as one chased the other, their arms outstretched in an attempt to grab the other. Maybe a friend, or perhaps they were siblings. I don't recall.

But I sat there, growing envious as they were together. Those kids had company, but I didn't. I didn't have a friend or sibling to play with while my parents were busy, only sitting there on the bench, shoulders sagging as I turned my head away. The only thought I had in my head was that they're lucky, and I wasn't. I was lonely, gently picking at the wood of the bench. Yet their laughter got louder, and I could hear them coming closer.

Curiously, I lifted my head, finding them whispering and giggling as they approached me. One was a girl, her hair pulled into a messy ponytail, and the other was a boy, his hair having a small stick tucked in. Both were nudging each other as they stood there in front of me, almost as if they were shy. But the girl took a step closer, pulling the boy beside her along.

"Hi, there!" She grinned, "Wanna come play with us?" She asked. But all I could do was freeze, my eyes going towards the building I had last seen my parents entered, shifting my gaze back to the two anxiously. "My name's-"

What was her name?

"And this is-"

I don't remember their names.

"I-I can't play... My parents won't let me play with anyone," I responded in a soft voice, fiddling with my fingers as I watched the two exchange glances between each other, then nodded before looking back to me.

"Don't worry! We'll play on the playground right there! They'll see you," The boy said, pointing towards the play structure they were on preciously.

I still didn't agree, but they didn't take no for an answer, taking me by the hand and guiding me to the structure. I was nervous, repeatedly looking towards the building my parents were in before I was distracted. I forgot what they had told me, running around with the boy and girl as we played a game called Tag. But it ended the minute I let my guard down, my mind going blank, my body freezing when I heard my mother let out a furious yell.

"Jeonghan!"

I was petrified, stopping in my tracks as I turned, a hand latching onto my wrist and a jerk. My father jerked my arm, pulling me away as I let out a cry of pain.

"Ow! Appa, it hurts!" I exclaim, but he didn't listen. He only growled back with rage.

"What did we tell you about wandering off and playing with those rats!"

"B-But Appa-"

"Don't but me, Jeonghan! We will not have our son play with low-lives,"

Low-lives? Is that what you call those less fortunate of luxury? Low-lives and rats?

They brought me into the car, pushing me inside as I tumbled onto the backseat, my mother sliding in looking exasperated.

"I can't believe you. Jeonghan. Disobeying us when we told you that it's bad to play with those kids!" She huffed as I crawled to the opposite side, bringing my knees to my chest.

"I'm sorry, Eomma... I'm sorry, Appa. I-I didn't mean to be bad,"

"Well, guess what? You did it anyway, and you were a bad boy for doing so," My father growled, starting the ignition as the car began to move. We were going home, home to the place that was too big and cold, and quiet, void of liveliness.

"And you know what kids get for being bad?" My mother questioned, making me shrink in fear.

"N-No..."

Slap!

It stings. It stings. It strings.

My eyes stung, tears rolling down my cheeks as I let out a wail of pain.

"Stop crying, Jeonghan! Boys don't cry!" My father shouted from the front as I sobbed, holding onto my swollen cheek that burned, pulsing. "How disappointing," He tsked. As I cried, I looked towards my mother, wishing she'd say sorry, hoping that she'd hug me, telling me that it was okay even when she was the one who did it, despite her leaving the burning mark on my cheek. But she didn't. She only stared at me with empty eyes, shaking her head with her lips pursed.

What am I to you? Why do you look at me as if I was nothing? Am I nothing to you? Tell me!

"This is what bad kids get when they don't listen to their parents, Jeonghan. The world isn't going to be nice, so you need to listen to what we say because this is for you."

Liars. You're liars.

"So right now, you need to suck it up and take it like a man," My father said. "Now, wipe those tears of yours and sit quietly. Do you understand?"

No. You're the one who doesn't understand anything.

With trembling hands, I obediently wiped my tears, hiccupping as I struggled to catch my breath. But it hurt. My cheek was still burning, and my heart arched. But it was the beginning of my torment, the beginning of obedience, discipline, and loathing.

I became their puppet, a porcelain doll that they used every day, and every night like a toy. They opened my head, prying it open with their bare hands and filled it. They filled my head with their ambitions, their desires, and a vision of a future I didn't want. It wasn't what I wanted, but what they wanted.

It was their dreams that they were unable to reach, and as another option to achieve them, I was their ticket to that desire. The desire of wealth beyond what we already had, the desire of attention and praise, and to be successful unlike any other person alive. They brainwashed me, manipulating me for their personal gain, and accepted nothing else.

They implemented cruel discipline when I went against them, and applied rules that I couldn't avoid. I couldn't say no but mindlessly nod, believing their twisted lies that held me by the throat, tightening whenever I attempted to unravel the truth or speak against them.

I became a doll for them to dress and position. They tugged my hair, styling it to whatever they thought would look best. I had no option of wearing what I wanted, being shoved clothes that I began to become disgusted with, but I accepted it. I accepted what they gave me and what they did.

What a fool I was.

"Smile big and wide, Jeonghan," My mother would order.

I obeyed, smiling brightly, forcing that wide smile onto my face. Forcing that smile I couldn't bear to look at whenever I stared into the mirror. That fake smile. That smile I hated to see every morning, every minute, and every hour.

I don't want to smile.

"Run faster! Pick up the pace, lazy ass!" My father would order, watching me as I coughed and my throat itched.

I obeyed, continuing to run the horrendous fitness course he set up for me, but my head was pounding. My lungs heaved, sweat running down my face as I made it to the end, giving out and falling onto the ground. I wanted to vomit. I wanted to discard everything as my vision blurred.

I don't want this. I don't want to work out until I faint. Make it stop. Stop it. Let me rest. Let me rest.

"What are you wearing?! I told you we're meeting my friends!" My mother snapped. "Get out of that and dress in something presentable! What would they think of me and our family, Jeonghan?!"

I nodded, my eyes glued to the floor as I turned and changed, feeling exhausted and drained as I looked at myself in the mirror. Another suit, another tie... Another lie.

I don't care if they are repulsed with casual clothing. I can't breathe. It's tight. It's tight. It's tight.

"Tell them about yourself, sweetie!"

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Jeonghan and-"

I'm exhausted. I'm tired of telling them about me. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate ME.

"You're such a good child! Your mother and father did so well raising such a gentleman,"

"And I'm thankful they did, Miss,"

I hate lying. I hate them. They're terrible. They're terrible.

"Sweetie, why don't you tell them what I helped you with?"

"Oh, yes. My mother-"

Did nothing. She did nothing. All she did was watch me suffer. She made suffer.

"Tell them about your father, too! He's such a lovely man and father,"

"Indeed! He's-"

Brutal. He's brutal. He hurts me. He hurts me. Make it stop. Make it stop. He's a beast. A beast. Bruises. Bruises. They're everywhere. They're everywhere on my body but my neck, my hands, and my face. Can't you see it? Can't you see my pain through my eyes?

"How lovely! You're all such a perfect family!"

"I wouldn't ask for any other to take care of me,"

Yes I would. I would beg for someone else. I would beg and cry. Please. Please. Please take me away. Take me away.

"But your kids... Goodness. You should take advice from me! After all, Jeonghan is such a lovely boy, so I'm sure your children will be able to use him as a perfect example who they should be in the future, dear,"

No. No they shouldn't. They shouldn't listen to you. They shouldn't have their kids copy me. Don't let them feel pain. Don't let them be destroyed like me. Don't. Don't. Don't.

"Jeonghan, what do you wish of achieving?"

"I want to achieve being able to have a business that'll help the world. I want to be successful and provide for my parents,"

No I don't. I don't want to be a business man. I don't want to be successful. I don't want to provide for monsters. I don't. I don't I don't.

"How did you manage to make him so obedient? What method do you use to have him behave so wonderfully?"

"Oh, it didn't take that much! We just had to help guide him, always reminding him of what to do and not to do, and make rules. Nothing more, nothing less."

"What an Angel of a son you have, my friend! You did well!"

You ruined me! You ruined me! You tainted me with your dreams! You sealed my lips shut! You burned me! You hit me! Made me scream and cry! You shattered me! You BROKE me! You're a liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!

They broke me...

"Stay down!"

I gasped, laying on the floor as tears rolled down my cheeks. I hugged myself tightly, blood gushing from my nose as my body shook violently.

"N-No more. N-No m-more," I cried softly.

You'll pay. You'll pay. I'll make you pay.

My father, no, that beast grabbed my hair, tugging me up as I choked, wincing as I twitched.

"All you had to do was just nod and fucking agree! But you ruined it! You costed me a deal of a life time!" He yelled, dropping me. I attempted to crawl away, vision blurry as I dragged my body.

I'll make your life hell.

I let out a choked scream as he grabbed my ankle, yanking me back as I clawed at the floor, attempting to grab at the furniture, the cracks in the floor. Anything... But I couldn't. It was too far and hopeless.

"I'm not done with you yet, brat!" I begged him to stop, my voice raspy. But it did nothing. It didn't stop him. It didn't stop his feet from slamming into the stomach, the vulgar words he spat, the bruises against my skin, and the blood that was smeared onto the floor. It didn't stop anything. It didn't stop the beast that continued his brutal punishment for another hour . . .

I'll kill you. I'll kill you.

"Fucking waste of space," He spat as I laid there motionless, staring at the wall as the world became dark and red. Red. Is that from me? That red substance... Yes. That's mine. That's my blood. It's everywhere...

What did he break this time? Did he break my wrist again? My arm? No... No. He broke my mind. He broke my entire body. He broke everything. Everything. Everything.

Empty. I feel empty. So, so empty.

And what did he do?

He left me.

He left me on the floor, shattered.

He left a shattered, seventeen year old boy on the floor for his sister to find. And all he did, all that I did, was fall victim to him. To them. To monsters.

But the tables turned, and guess who they obeyed during their final hours?

That shattered son that they made their little toy~

Next Chapter: coming soon . . .

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