#me when i get him pregnant

[enden-k]

this entire bit does unspeakable things to me

also

other hand hiding because hes shaking (if u remember) 🥹🥹🥹

[glitterhoof]

and turbo? ugh, he loved the attention.

closeup :

[gingermintpepper]

Obsessed with the way Evadne's relationship with Apollo is described. Obsessed with the way Apollo was especially gentle with her because she was sheltered, hidden away and hadn't had any sort of experience with love prior to Apollo (and due to it being described as her 'first learning Aphrodite's joy' through Apollo', it was probably her first time even being attracted to someone). Obsessed with the way when she runs away, she stops in a violet patch to give birth. Y'know, violets, very famously the flower so strongly associated with Aphrodite that they were used in love potions? Those violets. Obsessed with the way that when Apollo realised his lover was going to have to deliver their child alone, he sent BOTH the goddess of childbirth and ALL THREE OF THE FATES to help and support her. Obsessed with the way that Apollo sends snakes to feed his baby honey straight from their fangs because Evadne abandons their son out of straight primal fear when her stepfather finds her and how the description of that honey is 'sweet venom' [ἰός] of the bees and is DEFINITELY a poetic pair/pun with [ἴον] aka violets and that every single thing about this relationship, conception and birth is a complete and utter fairytale down to Evadne's insanely overprotective stepfather having an immediate change of heart when he learned Evadne's child was an actual, legitimate Son of Apollo and the babe, after being cared for by his dad's honey-fanged snake buddies, was found perfectly healthy five days later swaddled in a blanket of violets (y'know the flowers so strongly associated with Aphrodite that they were used for lo-) and they called him Iamus aka Boy of the Violets which is AAAAAARRRR I AM GNAWING AT MY ENCLOSURE

Iamus was made of love. Everything about him was surrounded by deep and profound love and like, let's not even talk about his whole Thing of when he came of age and was like "I need to find out what my purpose is" and he literally had a Disney Protagonist moment where he ran out into the wilds and was like "Father!! Grandfather!! Tell me what I'm supposed to doooo!!" and then APOLLO FUCKING ANSWERED AND LED HIM TO ONE HIS TEMPLES ENTIRELY BY TALKING WITH IAMUS AND LETTING HIM FOLLOW HIS VOICE FOR THE WHOLE JOURNEY LIKE -

What do y'all know about the kind of SSS tier romantic escapades Apollo had fr?

[unluckywisher]

Please Zayne as a father ✊

I've already seen many people say it but I'll repeat it: He would be SUCH a good dad.

He takes playing very seriously. Tea party? He's acting all proper while gossiping about imaginary ladies. Sword fight? He's suddenly a ruthless knight, never defeated (he still lets his kid win).

He peels and cuts apples as snacks for them. Often.

Has no trouble making them fall asleep in his arms. It's like a miracle. And there's almost no crying if he's around, either.

If the kid wants to be picked up (you know, arms up) he'd almost always put them on his shoulders.

Has a detailed schedule of all the kid's activities.

For sure he helps with homework (actually helping them learn) and is very patient.

Never misses any of the kid's events. The school doing a play? He's there with a camera. There's a sports match? He's cheering. Takes days off work if he needs to, too.

He tries to be somewhat strict but fails miserably. He tells them that they have to sleep in their own room, but when they appear in the middle of the night with big sad eyes, he's letting them crawl into the bed to sleep with him.

You know he's getting into arguments with the other parents if he needs to. Or teachers. No one messes with his kids.

"Okay, you can have a cookie each, but on the condition that you let me eat one too and don't tell mom."

[bonebabbles]

Scenes like this keep cropping up and I cannot help but roll my eyes all the way back into my skull

Don't worry guys, having NEW children fixed him. This famously teaches a violent man to stop hitting kids and makes him no longer feel the need to construct nightmarish scenarios so he can humiliate and embarrass those he has power over. Men whose wives produce lots of babies for them are Very fulfilled and Understand how strong bonds are supposed to be

"Instead of advising him he'd been defensive" is a REALLY INTERESTING way to phrase "got so offended at the suggestion to stop murdering women for their land that he shoved his son's face in a festering wound and told him to leave him to get eaten by maggots."

I wonder how they'd spell something like, "walked through a patch of thorns so that his son would be in physical pain and then belittled him for finding an alternate route because he wanted him to suffer" and "lied directly to his face about why he abandoned him when he realized the child could be useful"

[lavenderprose]

I love a bit of jealous Ed but I'm also a big fan of the idea of an Ed who actively encourages Stede and Izzy to seek each other out as well. Not only because having the vivid and ardent attentions of two very different and very needy men focused only on YOU is probably a recipe for some kind of burnout, but also because I truly truly think that the Steddyhands triangle is most stable at its base and its base is Stede Bonnet. Ed has spent most of his life at this point in a weird codependent mutually obsessive/possessive spiral with Izzy Hands but when Stede Bonnet comes on the scene he realizes that they both deserve some goddamn tenderness and he wants that for Izzy as much as he wants that for himself.

This is all to say that I do think that maybe the first time he walks in and finds Stede and Izzy making the beast with two backs, he probably feels pretty left out and not a little jealous. Maybe even the first couple of times. But then he probably makes his peace with the idea that there are a lot of different configurations to this thing and if missionary position of all the things is what Izzy needs from Stede, then who is Ed to deny him that?

He DOES tell them they look like a raw chicken when they're at it like that, though. Ed can't see Roach trussing a bird anymore without giggling and feeling slightly horny.

[s0lemnhypn0s]

By all means, Crocodile is only implied trans and not yet confirmed as a trans man. However, the fact the entire fandom talks about him in such creepy and transphobic ways is reason enough for me to refuse to budge on him being a trans man. Nope. Not just a theory, thats a trans man. As far as I'm concerned it's canon.

[discluded]

[lowvintagesims]

@funkiesims and i saw john mulaney last night and this is the front and back of the shirts we made for the occasion

[obscenicon]

the "haha omg cursed mpreg shrek x sonic male pregnancy is so freaky and gross" crowd is going to throw up and shit themselves when i finally work up the energy to draw my pregnant karkat ideas.

[wodimewoahtime]

TILL LOOKS SO INSANELY GOOD IM GOING WILD???? HIS HAIR???????? HIS FOREARMS???? HOW LOW HIS SHIRT IS BUTTONED???????? HIS NECK???????? THE WAY HIS APRON IS TIED OFF WITH A BOW??????? THE THINGS I WOULD DO TO THIS MAN

NO LUBE, NO PROTECTION, ALL NIGHT, ALL DAY, FROM THE KITCHEN FLOOR TO THE TOILET SEAT, FROM THE DINING TABLE TO THE BEDROOM, FROM THE BATHROOM SINK TO THE SHOWER, FROM THE FRONT PORCH TO THE BALCONY, VERTICALLY, HORIZONTALLY, QUADRATIC, EXPONENTIAL LOGARITHMIC-

[mamanbou]

THIS GODDAMN HOMO

[wtfsteveharrington]

i still can’t believe this is real please help me

[fisheito]

hiya l'il-- medium?...large?? Assorted Sizes-Guy

oh thanks! i could always use more spices-

. what am i supposed to do with this.

[razsberrie]

i apologise in advance for the person i am about to become when i see pics of this

[quietwingsinthesky]

we’ve all said it before but ill say it again, sam should have gotten lucifer pregnant and that should have been the jack origin. if she was jessifer at the time, even better <3