#meanwhile Steve’s just like: wtf are you calling me Steve for. I’m baby

[morganbritton132]

Eddie, posting a TikTok of Steve while he’s washing Eddie’s car. There’s nothing inherently sexy about the way Steve’s cleaning other than the fact that Eddie thinks everything Steve does is sexy.

He calls out, “Hey Steve, I’m appreciating you in a normal heterosexual way.”

Steve:

Steve: …Why are you being mean to me for no reason?

[worstloki]

Part 3

Fury: I cannot believe the Avengers No. 1 unattainable criminal right now is a seventeen-year-old twink Clint: I can’t believe you’re calling Loki a twink Tony: I can’t believe he's been the legal godparent of kids his own age for months and I didn't realise Steve: You didn’t get him removed? I thought you made Rhodey their legal godparents instead?? Tony: nah I removed Thor Natasha: ?? why would anyone do that ?? Fury, having a breakdown: we nearly lost New York and the entire world to a 16-year-old twink with daddy issues Clint: yoU just did it aGAIN- Tony, the only actual Avenger who knows Loki isn’t actually evil™: heY! Daddy issues are a serious thing! Don’t make fun of the guy for having a crisis and finding out his life was a lie and he’d faced over a millennium of abusive environment for nothing!  Avengers: are you… defending Loki… the megalomaniac WAR CRIMINAL who turned every SHIELD facility into ice cream earlier today…? Tony, hands up in surrender: I’m saying maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to judge the guy. I wouldn't be able to guess what but maybe he had an ulterior reason for the New York fiasco? His normal stuff is usually harmless.  Avengers: ... Tony: What? It could’ve been much worse. Strange, rolling his eyes: Yes, at least it wasn’t Stark Raving Hazelnuts Loki, who has been standing at the back listening to the entire conversation: That flavour is way too chalky to suit SHIELD anyways [everyone turns to Loki with their weapons ready, except Tony of course] Loki, raising his hands in surrender: what? A Hunka-Hulka Burning Fudge is way better, and its green, and for some reason they didn’t have a Loki flavour so that was the next best option-

---

Loki: hey Morgan what would you say if i offered you an officially evil part-time job with decent pay and extremely good evil workplace benefits? Morgan: do you offer evil dental? Loki: of course?? we also have A-Grade coffee 24/7 because top class extremely good evil deserves only the best Morgan: Excellent! I look forward to working with your evil team and being a part of your nefarious schemes and plots in future Loki: Thank you. Tomorrow we replace all Tony's vehicles with incredibly realistic wax models. Morgan: ...including the jets? Loki, scoffing: what kind of amateur villains would we be if we left his jets, boats, bikes and single vintage helicopter untouched Tony: its 4am can you maybe not have this conversation right next to me in my own workshop?!

---

Tony: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULD REPLACE THEM WITH WAX MODELS Morgan: What kind of low-grade predictable villainous evil doers would we be if we did what we said we would Tony: oh $#!^ now you're speaking like him too Loki, cutting his shoulder to reveal cake: Just so you know, it wasn’t JUST the vehicles ;)

---

Peter: *following loki around with a notepad* Loki: Terribly sorry if you mind but he's MY intern now. Tony: You don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you’re doing, do you? Loki: I don’t think anything I’ve ever done is wrong Peter:  *avidly taking notes and nodding along*

---

T’challa: I cant believe you filed an application for ‘time off’ Shuri: I NEED at least 3 hours a week reserved specifically for training if I want to keep my part-time job T’challa: you don’t NEED a job! You make up 90% of Wakanda’s research and development departments! Your technology work IS a job! Shuri: yeah well my ACTUAL job is fun and has proper work benefits and I simply must empty the time blocks I specified for it! You wouldn’t stop me from meeting with Peter and Morgan would you? They ARE, legally and spiritually speaking, my siblings, brother :) T’challa: what job could you have that would need you reminding me that a mischief deity adopted you before telling me what the job actually is Shuri: The official position is called Secretary of Evil but that’s only for the probationary 2 week period and I’m allowed to request a name change if I think of anything better T’challa: T’challa: you are working as a SECRETARY?! Shuri: The job pays well, Brother, T'challa:  T'challa: mother will be so disappointed

---

Scott: I can’t believe you did that Maggie: I didn’t know he was a supervillain! OBVIOUSLY! Scott: how would you noT KNOW! He wears nothing buT LEATHER and BELTS and GREEN BOOTS AND- Maggie: I needed someone to watch her and she showed up in pink sweatpants and a black tank top and was charging a decent rate Scott: Scott: are you sure their name was loki

---

Clint: you told me it was a ‘family gathering’! Tony: yeah, it is, and the avengers are family Clint, pointing at Loki: so what’s the twink doing here and why are MY kids along with every other person here who is under drinking age clinging to him like a frickin’ koala bear Tony: morgan wanted to get her ‘the floor is lava’ badge and loki was the only one immune to the lava so they jumped him - and he enjoyed walking around covered in them way more than he should have -  and also loki is legally peter and morgan and harley and shuri’s godparent so he’s allowed to be here on more of a basis than anyone else here at this point Clint: There was LAVA near MY KIDS?! Tony: no of course not – it was FAKE lava that just looked and functioned like real lava Clint: im taking them all home Tony: good luck convincing them not to want another playdate Clint: this isn’t a joke Tony Tony: I’m serious. Good luck. The kids love him, and you’ll need all the luck you can get if you want them to ever root for the side of good instead of wherever-loki-is-at instead. 

---

Pepper: *watching the news* Pepper: oh hey the Avengers are on Peter, running into the room: woW NICE Pepper: wtf why is Hulk wearing giant boxing gloves Peter: Language! Pepper: is Steve's shield padded?! Peter: i don’t remember that being normal Pepper: did most of the Avengers just ditch Steve? Why’re they leaving Peter: I guess the danger must be over? Pepper: WHAT is going ON out there today Peter: I think Loki had planned an attack today so maybe he did it as a joke Pepper: oh they're facing Loki yeah okay that explains it Peter: Loki always does the funniest things of course he baby-proofed all the Avenger's gear! Classic Loki! :D

-meanwhile-

Captain America, tears streaming down his face: pl,,ease, loki,, stop,t his, I cant hit ,,a child Loki: Look at you, the American icon, unable to save all these innocent people from having their skin turn into primary colours, all because you are TOO AFRAID to fight me! Captain America: I’m a national icon, not a good soldier but a good man, I will do whatever it takes to keep innocents safe, but I can NOT beat up someone who isn’t even legal enough to vote Loki: I was around causing chaos before this ‘voting’ was even invented! And I’ll NEVER legally vote even if I could!! mwahahAHAHA- Falcon, to Bucky in the background: How did we not realise he was a teen, all his comebacks are ‘no u’ and ‘uno reverse card’ and ‘look over there!’ Bucky, to Falcon: I don’t know but I really really want to know where he gets his outfits from Falcon: if it means I’ll be seeing you geared up in leather again then I want to know where he gets his outfits from too ;‘) Thor: I think my brother makes his own outfits Loki, still tormenting Captain America: *SISTER Thor: ah, my bad Captain America, crying x2: wait does this mean I’ve been lobbing my shield at not just a child, but I’ve been misgendering them while doing it?! Loki: only occasionally and I don’t blame you that was on me for monologuing too long, really— Captain America, taking off the helmet: nope I’m done Loki: what are you doing Steve, handing Sam the shield: It’s yours. Enjoy. Sam: woah woah woah what’re you doing you cant retire just like that  Steve, unzipping his suit to reveal American flag boxers: watch me Bucky to Sam: hello new best friend Sam, realising that Cap and Bucky are a duo: oh no no no STEVE is your best friend Bucky: he hasn’t been my ‘best friend’ since I saw him with the American flag splayed over his butt Loki, holding his hand out for Sam to shake: Hello there new Captain America its nice to meet you formally, my name is Loki and yes I’m a child but I’m actually 1075 but that is irrelevant if I’m causing trouble and looking for a fight, I’m also genderfluid so yes sometimes my pronouns will be different but I’ll be sure to inform you if it happens Sam: what are you doing Loki: I’m… formally introducing myself Sam: Sam: why?? Loki, blinking to hide that he’s getting teary eyed: well, the last national icon I didn’t do this with ditched me because I didn’t Bucky, a trained assassin, who isn’t a fool: *hugs loki* that wasn’t your fault steve just likes to carry the stupid with him Loki: thanks Bucky: is this a bad time to ask where you get your clothes from…? Loki: I make them Bucky: oh. Well $#!^. Loki, sniffing: if you join the dark side I’ll make you some too Bucky, immediately: done. Sam: JAmES Bucky deadpan: Yes, Samuel, what is it that troubles you, my new arch nemesis? 

---

Sam: HE TOOK BUCKY Natasha: What do you mean ‘he took bucky’ he’s standing right next to you Sam: He’s “infiltrating the enemy” Natasha: *lifts an eyebrow and looks to Bucky* Bucky: It’s true. My loyalties lie elsewhere now. Natasha: ??? Bucky: note to self – unexpected outcomes confuse the black widow. Natasha: how did this happen?? Sam: he SOLD himself out to the ENEMY Natasha: well when you say it like THAT ;) — Bucky: I think friendship is a decent price to pay for decent clothing Natasha: ??? Sam: oh also I’m Captain America now because Steve broke down and quit Natasha: ?!?!?!

---

Peter, entering the room and high-fiving Loki: I heard you got Mr. Bucky to switch teams! Loki: well, my fashion skills ARE legendary Tony, under his breath: he’s not even trying and he’s gotten every kid and the freaking winter soldier on his side and I am so so grateful he isn’t actually TRYING to make everyone go bad

---

Bucky: we’ve been over this Steve, Loki is young but he’s also over a thousand years old Steve: I was beating up a KID, Bucky, a kid who was SMALLER and WEAKER than everyone else where he lived but wouldn’t EVER turn down a FIGHT for what he BELIEVES IN and he was probably BULLIED and I wanted the guy DEAD, Bucky– Bucky: don’t forget the genderfluidity thing Steve: he said it wasn’t my fault but I should’ve asked Thor after he referred to Loki as ‘she’ instead of thinking he’d made a mistake and I just can’t – he isn’t even old enough to DRIVE or VOTE or DRINK or BUY A KNIFE or -- Bucky, holding Steve and patting his back: hey now, there, there, it’ll be okay, Bucky: *gives Loki a thumbs up as he sits on the couch with popcorn and watches Steve be miserable*

---

Loki: We need to get through this locked door. Tony, quick, give me your card! Tony, handing the card over: Take it! Loki, pocketing it: Thanks! Morgan, fire at the door Morgan: *pulls out an iron man gauntlet painted green and gold* Tony: hOW COULD you deface YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT with GREEN Morgan: MINE is still being used as a paperweight. This is one of YOUR gauntlets.   Tony, under his breath: maybe it’s not too late to burn the physical evidence and hack Loki’s name off the digital copies of the adoption forms Loki, whispering back: oh its definitely too late. I’m already on your christmas card and everything.

[booksinsteadofdrugs]

my thoughts on captain america: civil war (2016)

wow i haven't watched this movie in a while everyone looks so different

okay yeah, start the movie with bucky being tortured why not, it's not like i feel bad enough for him already

seb... babe i love you but who made you say отвечач instead of отвечать (okay okay, i'm just joking i know it's a small pronouncation mistake)

steve&nat teaching wanda how to watch her back during a mission is so cute (also wow, my queen has come a long way since this movie)

"he's cute go on pet him" SAM STOP PQJDOWBDIW

i feel like rumlow could've been used more in these movies why did they just kill him off like that

"who's the homeless person on the couch" i love howard

"if that's true you'll be a great man someday" and he did become a great man howard, he did, indeed

tony feels guilty about sokovia, wanda feels guilty about lagos and bucky feels guilty about his past. give them a break marvel

zemo switching into his own accent as soon as he got the hydra agent tied up lmao

"compromise where you can, and where you can't, don't. even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. even when the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree and say no. you move." sharon believed that with her whole heart and look what they did to her now I'M MAD

"staying together is more important than how we stay together" and she gave her life for them at the end no matter how much she didn't want to go

THE KING HAS ARRIVED (we miss you chadwick)

''we have orders to shoot on sight" meanwhile bucky: oooh lemme get some plums

ok so caramel chocolate bars are bucky's favourite, that's good to know

awww bucky couldn't even control his strength in this movie (throwing people off the stairs, hitting them with bricks, punching the shit out of them) and now he is barely even using his metal arm bc he's scared of killing people AWW MY BABY

i swear to god if sam wasn't there to save these two's asses all the time *eye roll*

oOOHHH THE CHASING SCENE WAS SO GOOD

when bucky grabbed that motorcycle we all felt something right?

i remembered how much it broke my heart when rhodey said "congratulations sam, you're a criminal"

vision cooking for wanda is still the cutest thing in this movie

"so you like cats" SAM

the fact that they were so scared of bucky that they had to put him in an extremely protected capsule thing... THE POWER HE HOLDS

"pregnant?" "uh, definitely not" and a few years later we see morgan wearing her mother's helmet WHY AM I MAKING MYSELF CRY

i love how steve was actually about to sign the accords until tony mentioned wanda

i forgot how much i wanted to punch zemo in this movie, he was literally so desperate to find bucky that he had to turn 7 billion people against him

"let's talk about your home, not romania, certainly not brooklyn no" well, we have some news for you zemo

the look on bucky's face when he sees the notebook and how he immediately starts screaming after hearing "рассвет" hurts my soul

BUCKYNAT BUCKYNAT BUCKYNAT

sebastian looked so ripped in this movie holy moly

wtf he really is like a death machine he could've easily killed steve in that helicopter scene

OH I FORGOT THIS WAS TOM'S FIRST APPEARANCE IN THE MCU WTF

"it's so hard for me to believe she is someone's aunt", "we come in all shapes and sizes you know" AUNT MAY I ADORE YOU

"i retire for like what 5 minutes and it all goes to shit" well he's not wrong

"move or you will be moved" ayo always steals the show with one line (tfaws spoilers guess?)

the scene that started it all guys "can you move your seat up" "no"

"thinks for thanking of me" SCOTT LANG IS A TREASURE ALRIGHT

"suit up" YEAH AND DON'T THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES SHARON WILL PAY FOR BRINGING YOUR TOYS

when the craziest thing happened in the mcu was spidey joining the avengers ah good old times

the airport fight was sooo good omg

i love t'challa is just like ''just lemme kill barnes i don't care about your white nonsense"

"i didn't kill your father" "then why did you run?" UHMMM I DON'T KNOW SIR MAYBE BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS TRYING TO CHOKE HIM BEFORE HE HAS A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN HIMSELF??

scott's "hohoho" will never not be funny for me

this movie got me so hyped up for a possible buckynat storyline dude i'm still mad, they had such potential

peter getting scared of tony approaching him shows how hard their job actually is i feel so bad for them

vision accidentally shooting rhodey OH MY HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS

and wtf did sam do tony for fucks sake

zemo calling the hotel from moscow so they can find the body in the bathtub lsndjsbdjs he's such a diva

avengers getting treated like criminals is still pissing me the fuck off

"you better go get a bad cop cause you're gonna have to go mark furhman on my ass to get information out of me" OKAY MY FAV SAM WILSON LINE

zemo killing all the winter soldiers instead of waking them up is a great way to show his ideology actually

"there's a bit of green in the blue of your eyes" well that sounds poetic

i don't know which is worse: seeing tony watching his mom killed, or the amount of guilt bucky must've felt in that moment, or the way tony managed to keep his cool until he realized steve acted like he didn't know the entire time AGH IT HURTS

"i remember all of them" and that look on his face SEBASTIAN STOP

the fight between steve&tony&bucky was actually one of the best scenes in the mcu in my opinion, especially when bucky's arm gets destroyed (seriously tho, watching the way he pushes tony into the wall, trying to rip off the arc reactor with his metal arm and the fury in his eyes agh i love this scene)

aww zemo deleting the voice message of his wife before attempting to kill himself broke my heart

i remember crying in the cinema watching steve and tony beat the shit out of each other... my friend who's never seen any of the mcu movies before was looking at me like i was an alien

bucky still trying to protect steve by gripping tony's foot i- HE LOVES STEVE SO MUCH

oh when tony lifted his hand to protect his face with that terried look, he thought steve was gonna finish him

i!!! wanna!!! die!!!

"are you tony stank?" stan lee we miss you, you beautiful man♡

"i've been on my own since i was 18" having multiple illnesses, and probably mental ones as well, steve only had bucky on his side. he was the only one who always got his back, making sure he was okay, always protecting him. so he knew he had to do the same. bucky was the best friend he ever had.

soo, this gave me enough trauma for today. i think i'm gonna go cry until the next episode of tfaws.

[valkyriesryde]

Hella Feelings {6/?}

Chapter 6: I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) ~ The Proclaimers

Pairings: Bucky x OC; Sam x OC

A/N: Chapter six with @stuckonjbbarnes​ bless up my lads

Warnings: language, awkward encounters, a little bit of flirting, alcohol consumption, karaoke (that is a warning in itself), angst, fluff

Word Count: 4266 

Previous Chapter ~ Masterlist

~~~~~~~~

“You! You’re in charge of getting the first round.” MJ points at Peter, when Holly and Sam finally turn up.

She gestures to the girls and they all walk over to the stage, ready to kick off karaoke as usual. The DJ throws on Truth Hurts- Lizzo and Holly, Nessa, and MJ do a Charlie’s Angels power pose. The music starts and MJ starts front and center. The girls are basically yelling the lyrics instead of singing them, the boys are forgotten about as this is their time to shine. As the song fades out, the girls jump off the stage and rush the table, collecting the waiting drinks.

“Would you check my ears?...are they bleeding?It feels like they’re bleeding.” Sam asks, jokingly.

MJ looks at his ear, jokingly before laughing, "Nope just gathering dust in there.”

“ME NEXT!” Peter calls out, running over to the DJ. The girls don’t even have to guess what he’s chosen, as he smiles widely and takes the stage.

“Is...is this?” Sam looks mildly irritated.

“...the Cotton Eye Joe?” Bucky finishes Sam’s question.

“Yasss BABY! Kill it” MJ catcalls. Holly and Nessa whoop and holler along with her.

MJ runs to the front of the stage because the girls have made up a dance for it. Meanwhile Vanessa and Holly try to teach the dance to Sam and Bucky before the song is over. Bucky takes a shot of whatever is closest yelling,"Fuck it" and joins MJ and Nessa by the stage. Sam pouts, refusing to give in and Holly is pretty sure that he just doesn't want to dance with her.

As soon as Peter finishes, MJ is dragging him off stage and into a dark corner of the bar. Nessa quickly pulls Bucky up and he happily follows. Neither are really sure what song the DJ is gonna give them, as neither had picked one.

Nessa’s voice comes out softer than she anticipated as the nerves hit her because holy fuck I’m singing about needing air around the boy that feels like a breath of fresh air. It takes Bucky a second to realise what song is playing but he hears the slow beat and his heart quickens.  

“..if I should die before I wake...it’s cause you took my breath away. Losing you is like living in a world with no air.”

Bucky tries to keep his cool but her voice is so pure and she’s so shy and he just wants her to feel confident like she normally is and so he takes her hand in his and he takes over.

“I’m here alone, didn’t wanna leave. My heart won’t move, it’s incomplete...Is there a way, I could make you understand?” Vanessa can’t help but stare into his eyes, as it feels like he’s singing directly to her...hehehe wtf.

From the audience, Holly and MJ share a look of look at our baby growing up. The whole bar seems to disappear, as Bucky and Vanessa get lost in one another.

“Got me out here in the water SO deep.” She sings, smiling slightly when he takes her free hand.

“Tell me how you’re gonna live without me.” He asks, placing her hand on his chest.

“If you ain’t here I just can’t breathe…”

“There’s no air...no air.” They finish together and finally the rest of the bar comes back into their little world.

Sam is up next and he’s shoving Bucky off the stage and giving the DJ his choice of song. His eyes land on Holly laughing with MJ and Peter, not paying attention to him at all as he starts singing.

“If I could write you a song to make you fall in love.. I would already have you up under my arm… I used up all of my tricks, I hope you like this…” He’s several drinks in and tries to feel the music in his body as the sound beats out of the speakers behind him. He’s never felt so lost when it came to a girl, he wants all of her attention every day so much so he feels like a kid begging for his parents.

She’s still not looking at him, taking a drink from Nessa but then her eyes lock with his and Sam grins from ear to ear as he spins with the beat and points his finger towards her, “you think you’re cooler than me.”

Holly accepts his line as a challenge and races to the stage just before the music ends, speaking with the DJ and smugly, brushing past Sam, drink in hand.

The beat starts and Nessa screams from the audience “YASS QUEEN!”

Holly laughs before catching Sam’s eye. “You’re insecure..don’t know what for? You’re turning heads when you walk through the door.”

She’s smirking at Sam who throws back his head with a laugh but his face is hot and he’s trying to hide it from everyone around him. Holly continues to emphasize certain phrases in the song, intending to see how embarrassed she could make Sam.

“Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe you don’t know...you don’t know you’re beautiful...that’s what makes you beautiful.” Sam has his hands on his head because this girl is going to kill him, Steve and Bucky come barreling into his shoulders and suddenly he’s back on stage with no time to catch a hold of Holly.

“Everybody…Rock your body...Everybody...Rock your body right…” Steve sings.

“Backstreet’s back alright!” The other three join in.

“Oh my god we’re back again..” Bucky sings, taking over a main part.

MJ, Ness, and Holly crowd the stage, as if the guys were truly the Backstreet Boys. The girls are laughing so hard that tears are streaming down their faces as the boys attempt to choreograph dance moves on the spot.

“BACKSTREETS BACK ALRIGHT!” The boys yell and the bar goes nuts clapping.

Then MJ takes the stage doing a very colorful rendition of Dirty Little Secret that leaves the entire friend group and Peter scarred for life. Soon after, Bucky climbs the stage and the friends all watch as he consults with the DJ who gives him this look as Bucky takes center stage. The music starts and Vanessa can’t breathe...what the fuck. Bucky takes the mic and sits on the edge of the stage, catching Nessa’s eyes as she’s still at the front of the stage.

“If I was your boyfriend I’d never let you go. I can take you places you ain’t never been before. Baby take a chance I got money in my hands that I'd really like to blow.” Nessa is crying from laughter again but also because he hasn’t taken his eyes off her.

“...so say hello to falsetto in 3,2, swaggie...I’d like to be, everything you want. Hey girl let me talk to you.” Everyone loses it because mans really went for the falsetto. In that moment, Vanessa knows she could never do better than him and they aren’t even dating.

“Girlfriend, girlfriend..you could be my girlfriend.” As the song comes to a close, Bucky hops off the front of the stage, sets the mic behind him and walks with Nessa over to their friends. He gets chosen to go the bar for refills, shortly after.

Sam’s feet are tapping as he brings the mic up to his lips and looks at Holly next to him.

“I got chills, they’re multiplying.” She shoves him away and dances to the music. Sam is done for, he’s officially fallen for Holly in that moment when she sends him a wink and her hand leaves his chest. “And I’m losing control... Cause the power you’re supplying. It’s ELECTRIFYING!”

Sam drops to his knees his hand held out for Holly to take which she gladly does and walks around him. “You better shape. Cause I need a man, and my heart is set on you.”

He stands again, his hand still holding hers as he spins her again and they dance together. “You’re the one that I want,” their bodies get close and Holly thinks he might kiss her “the one indeed,” so she’s walking back from him and her hands leaves his because surely not. He wouldn’t really want to kiss her.

Vanessa watches Bucky stop at the bar. She also sees a girl dressed in the kind of outfit that her mother would definitely not let her out in approach him. He was supposed to be getting the table more drinks. But she’s hugging on him and he’s smiling and laughing at something she’s saying. Ness can’t tear her eyes away as much as she wants to. He comes back with the drinks and she quickly chugs hers.

After a beat, while Sam & Holly are still singing, Bucky turns to her.

“Hey...Steve’s having this party for his birthday. You should go.” She kind of nods and he continues. “Be sure to bring Holly.”

At that, Nessa pushes away from the table and walks away from him because ouch… First that girl at the bar and now Holly. I thought we had a whole moment with No Air...guess not. Steve approaches Nessa at the bar, a few drinks in.

“Hello Ness. Did Bucky tell you about my party?”

“Yeah and I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. But I’m sure the girl further down the bar, making googly eyes at James would love to, Stevie.” She fumes, ordering one of whatever Steve’s been drinking.

“What’d Bucky do?” He groans, ready to give his best friend a piece of his mind.

“Nothing..don’t worry about it. I’m gonna go change my song, not really feeling so peppy.” Nessa sighs and Steve takes her hand, walking up with her.

“I’M GONNA CHANGE MINE TOO VANESSA...us gals, gotta stick together.”

“You’re a whole man Steve.” Vanessa oophs as Steve lets go of her hand and throws his arm over her shoulder.

They head over to the DJ and he agrees to change the song. Vanessa makes her way onto the stage, smiling tightly as she passes Holly and Sam. The music starts and everyone at the table kind of stops and stares...because this is like a really slow song? But Vanessa continues singing and holds up her beer bottle.

“...Drink beer with the guys and chase after girls. I’d kick it with who I wanted and I’d never get confronted for it, cause they’d stick up for me.”  Bucky could swear the entire bar’s mood dropped. Why was she singing like a man had killed her cat?

“But you’re just a boy...you don’t understand. How it feels to love a girl...someday you’ll wish you were a better man.” Vanessa breaks down before she can finish the song and Holly runs up to her, guiding her off the stage.

“You changed your song... what happened?” She pulls Vanessa away from the crowd while she begins to rant and tells her about how she's feeling about Bucky. As they’re talking, Steve watches from across the room.

Vanessa shakes Holly off, not wanting to ruin what was supposed to be a fun night out. So Holly goes to look for her not her mans, knowing it’s best to leave Vanessa be for the time being.

Holly finds Bucky at the booth and slaps his arm as soon as she’s close enough.

"What the fuck did you do?!" She scolds him.

"I don't know! Did I do something?" He gapes looking around the room for Vanessa but he can’t find her anywhere.

"That's the problem you idiot, obviously!" She gives him a stern look and tells him to make it up to Nessa before Sam is calling her over and shoving a shot in her hand. Leaving Bucky in the dust and confused.

Meanwhile, Steve has Nessa sit onstage beside him, having her hold his beer so that he can focus on the task at hand.

“You look so amazing in that sundress...Wonder what you look like when you’re undressed. I can see the future in your eyes...You know I would never tell you lies. I just wanna see you smile...so stick around a while, baby.” Everyone in the bar loses their shit because this is hilarious and Vanessa is like oh shit, especially when he winks at her.

“Cause your boyfriend’s a bitch...he ain’t shit…” Nessa throws her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. Bucky is staring hard at Steve and glancing at Nessa, sitting beside him, thigh to thigh.

“If I was your man I would answer everytime that you called. I would listen close to every single word when you talked…” Vanessa finally takes in the crowd and makes eye contact with Bucky, who looked both annoyed and hurt. She realizes she may have overreacted a little.

Sam and Holly are at the bar with a row of empty shot glasses and a full one in their hand as they toast to karaoke and throw the liquid back.

“Tequila time!” Holly pours the salt on her arm and holds it out to Sam who licks it slowly, he takes the shot and bites into the lime.

He’s so drunk he’s not thinking but the only logical thing his brain can think to do is fall against Holly and kiss her so he does. It’s drunk and sloppy and there’s a bit of teeth but fuck she tastes so good, like candy but how is that possible with all the fucking alcohol? The two pull away they’re both speechless for a moment just looking at each other catching their breath.

“GROUP KARAOKE TIME!” Peter cries, slapping Sam on the shoulder and ruining their moment.

MJ and Peter wrangle the group up, to close out karaoke for the night. Bucky tries to be near Vanessa and she’s like ‘boy bye’ and wraps her arm around Steve’s waist. She decides in that moment that he’s her new drunk bff.

Peter, MJ, and Sam don’t really have any idea about the tension that is currently radiating off of Bucky and Nessa. Pulling Bucky, who did not want to be there, in-between them, they immediately start slurring and yelling

“WHEN I WAKE UP, WELL I KNOW IM GONNA BE...I’M GONNA BE THE MAN WHO  WAKES UP NEXT TO YOU.” Steve throws his arm over Vanessa’s shoulder and in her drunken and stubborn state she plasters a smile and starts singing along with the rest of the group.

“WHEN I GO OUT, YEA I KNOW I’M GONNA BE...I’M GONNA BE THE MAN WHO GOES ALONG WITH YOU!” Holly smiles up at Sam and he gives her a wink as he belts.

“IF I GET DRUNK, WELL I KNOW I’M GONNA BE...I’M GONNA BE THE MAN WHO GETS DRUNK NEXT TO YOU!” He points at Holly for emphasis.

The group stumbles over the next lyric terribly but pulls it together to shout “ WELL I WOULD WALK 500 MILES AND I WOULD WALK 500 MORE...JUST TO BE THE MAN WHO WALKS A THOUSAND MILES TO FALL DOWN AT YOUR DOOR.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

They go to say goodbyes and Peter and MJ get a cab. The boys mumble a “bye Steve” and Vanessa gapes at them.

“Excuse you? He can’t be left on his own..I’m literally holding drunky up.” She groans and Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Oh sure..he can sleep on our couch.” Sam offers, taking Steve’s arm over his shoulder and shifting most of his weight off Vanessa.

Bucky just stares at Nessa cause he’s so confused as to why she’s giving him the cold shoulder and a little mad that she’s being so clingy to Steve.

“Yo gym rat...you gonna help Sammy out or what?” Holly asks Bucky and he finally springs into action, to help.

In that moment, Sam melts on the inside. They all walk back to the apartment together and Vanessa is uncharacteristically quiet, while Holly attempts to talk to everyone. When the boys finally exit the elevator, Vanessa pulls Holly into a bear hugs and completely breaks down, as the doors shut. Holly just holds her and they have a lil cry on the couch as soon as they stumble through the door. All Vanessa can hear between her own sobbing is "I'm gonna fucking kill him."

Vanessa won’t let go of Holly. She is her rock at the moment. Holly helps her up and sits her on the bed, running around frantically. Vanessa is blank inside and out. Holly BEAUTIFUL Holly, draws a bath and brings out two bottles of wine, yelling “GET IN THE TUB IT’S A SELFCARE MORNING!”

“Enough of that… drink your wine.” Holly shushes Vanessa as new tears form.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next morning the guys are hung over as fuck and spread out over the three couches in the apartment groaning...all 3 of them. Steve wakes confused and disheveled as he tries to figure out where exactly he is.

“Why am I on your couch...hold that thought,” he sprints to the bathroom to puke.

“I hate everything, my head is pounding...DID YOU DRINK THE LAST GATORADE SAM?? I HATE YOU.” Bucky yells from the kitchen, having shuffled in looking for some sort of aid to help his head.

“STOP YElling, you ass.” Sam is curled up in a chair, holding a pillow over his head. Those poor boys.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Later in the day, after a nap and a mountain of food, Holly texts Sam and demands he come over immediately. So clad in bum pants and a hoodie, the hood pulled up, he's leaning against the door still hungover as fuck when she swings it open and drags him in without a word. They're almost chest to chest when she slams the door shut and they both wince at the sound.

"You called?" Sam's a little lost because he's pretty sure they kissed last night but that could have been his imagination? Although they’re very close and neither are making any move to step away from one another.

Holly can't even think about Sam right now because she needs to get to the bottom of the mess that is Bucky and fix Vanessa’s heart, loyal to her best friend to the bitter end.

"What was Bucky doing with some hoe at the bar last night?"

"That's not a nice thing to call Nessie" he smirks at her but she smacks his chest in retaliation.

"Sam I'm serious apparently he was flirting with some bitch. I thought he liked her like what the hell?!" She throws her hands up and Sam wants to put his hands on her hips and pull her closer because she's so close but not quite enough.

"Bucky has already decided how he's gonna propose to Vanessa. He's too nice for his own good though,” Sam shrugs, “the amount of times we've had strangers join our nights out because he can't say no is fucking nuts."

Holly stops in her spot, she was about a second away from pacing before Sam grabs her wrists and holds her still so she can think.

"Huh good to know. Won't kill him now."

"Yea don't he's an idiot but he's the only reason my apartment gets vacuumed." He lets go of her wrists and shoves his hands in his pocket.

"Okay, that was all thanks" and she gives him a smile and turns to go tell Vanessa but Sam grabs her arm and pulls her back and he's finally holding her hips.

"Was that the only reason you wanted to see me? I'm hurt" he feigns hurt, his grip tightening on her hips briefly. Holly giggles at him, she has to stop doing that around him it’s getting out of hand.

They both start to lean in, kisses on the brain, a pillow manages to hit both of them.

“Not in front of the child...please.” Vanessa groans, “Me...I am the child. No love in this apartment. I need a drink!”

Holly steps away from Sam but not really like it's only a couple inches and his hand is still on her back and she claps her hands together, "Good news everyone! You're a clown, he's a clown, everybody's a clown. This is the fucking circus!"

Sam looks at Holly like she’s grown a second head, until Vanessa points at the sign on the fridge that reads ‘Two Clowns Live Here’. Then Sam makes a move to say something but Holly clamps her hand over his mouth.

"You're going to Steve's party on Friday and you’re gonna show Bucky you're a boss ass bitch!" She orders and Vanessa nods a little, in agreement.

"UH HELL yea I am!" She responds before shutting herself back into her room.

“Is she okay?” Sam looks at Holly concerned but Holly brushes him off.

“...that girl has not been okay a day in her life. Is she very drunk? Yes. Does she remember what happened with Bucky last night? I highly doubt it.”

"Alright then. Do you want to get food?" Holly stops in her tracks as Sam rubs his hand over the back of his neck and his eyes cast down. Her mind is overdrive while she tries to sputter out a response and figure out what any of this means! Is he asking me out...we did kiss last night I think…

“Uh..yeah. Let’s do that.”

Vanessa stumbles back into her room and then straightens after shutting the door, pretending to be as drunk as Holly assumes. She’s like sad and mad...smad: Mad at herself for being sad but sad because she’s really falling for the guy. She’s staring at her phone, which keeps buzzing showing 30 unread texts:Bucky B but she doesn’t want to look because he’s probably asking about Holly. Vanessa guesses she’s just not meant to be happy in life, until a different screen pops up and shit... He’s calling...press the damn red button. But she manages to fuck it up and hit answer in her buzzed state.

“Nessa hey…” She hears his voice but she can’t bring herself to say anything.

“Vanessa?” He asks again and she just stares at the phone, her whole body is tense. After a minute or so, Nessa hears Bucky sigh and sees the call end.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Bucky  throws his phone on the couch and leans his head back, shouting "FUCK!"

Steve, having made it out of the bathroom safely on the third try, is watching Bucky frantically texting and then ending the call. He pats his friends leg as he passes muttering, "You dumb."

"Steve I swear to fucking god I'll throw you out of my house you drunk ass." Steve scoots away a little because he feels like too much shit to deal with that.

"I had her, I was so close. I was going to ask her out and everything would be perfect. Then she got kind of weird yesterday and now she hates me."

“My dude...you dumb...dumb.” Steve repeats and Bucky pauses.

“Stop..wait why?” Steve then tries his best to relay what Vanessa told him, but botches it cause he was real turnt.

“She saw you flirting with ...Holly? And then you told her to...invite a quote “hoe” to my party. She’s..big sad.” For a minute Bucky just stares at Steve but  ever so slowly, he starts to sort it out.

“I told her to bring Holly to the party...for Sam.”

“Didja say for Sam?”

“Not specifically.” He groans.

“You DUMB.”

Bucky scrambles for his phone and calls Vanessa again. She doesn’t pick up this time and he waits for the voicemail message to end, his leg is bouncing and he's going over what he wants to say until he hears the beep.

"Vanessa I need you to listen okay. I'm so sorry about last night I didn't mean it when I said invite Holly that I was just inviting you to invite her or whatever, I don't know okay?! Look I really like you, I wanted you to come to the party, so I could see you. I figured Sam would be too chicken to invite Holly himself so if you brought her ya know...problem solved I guess. Dammit I'm such an idiot..." in the background Steve yells out, face half covered by his arm

"BIG DUMB"

"...just please. Would you go away!” his thought process interrupted by Steve. “I really do want you to be there God I want to see.. maybe I should just go to you. No. Fuck. Okay just please call or text or just talk to me. Okay bye. Its Bucky by the way."

Vanessa just stares at the missed call notification and tosses her phone further away when the voicemail pops up.

“Not today Satan.” Nope. Nope. Nope.

She decides to clean her closet out, hoping to find a fancy dress for Steve’s birthday party along the way. Finding herself in the back of the closet, a mountain of clothes behind her she spots the dress.

“AHA!” She mutters, pulling out a pink Audrey Hepburn inspired 40s-50s gown. Having completely forgotten about her Hepburn phase. Then her phone goes off and she’s absolutely tempted to turn it off until she sees it’s a text from...Steve?

Steve: Hey Vanessa do you want to get some coffee?

And she’s like yanno what? Steve is cute and available and supported me at Karaoke…so FUCK IT.

Vanessa: Yeah, I’ll meet you in 10.

~~~~~~~~

TAGLIST (OPEN): @cant-decide-at-this-moment​ @rinthehufflepuff​ @buckysmischief​ @sebbbystaaan​ @supraveng​ @hopingforbarnes​ @dumbubblegum​

[tony-starkrogers]

rec week day four

For the cap-IM rec week 2019 day four: Fluffy Thursday! @cap-ironman

This list includes some classic favorites and some new works. Enjoy reading and be sure to show your authors some love!

Indecent Proposal by gyzym, Siria (T, 2.5k)

On the plus side, marriage is bound to be easier than proposing.

"death by coffee" and other search queries by @goodmorningbeloved (T, 2.8k)

In which Steve's feelings are hopelessly obvious through his Google searches. JARVIS decides to step in.

Stick With Me, Baby, I’m the Fella You Came in With by Annie D (scaramouche) (E, 10.6k)

During the final battle with Ultron, Tony kisses Steve for the first time. Afterward, he makes it clear to Steve that he was just running on adrenaline and not thinking clearly. Steve seems to accept it, but the kiss nudges open a door of possibilities, and the situation escalates.

The Trial Run by Annie D (scaramouche) (T, 13.8k)

Tony and Steve pretend to date, and enjoy it far more than they should.

A Hundred Times, Once by @festiveferret, SirSapling (E, 24.7k)

The shrill tone of his SHIELD beeper pulls Steve out of sleep and into battle. He fights robots, he fights Tony's shameless advances, he fights the exhaustion that threatens to take over him, drown him. And then the next morning, he wakes and does it again. Exactly the same.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Gained in Translation by Annie D (scaramouche) (T, 11.5k)

Steve returns to New York and meets Tony for the first time since they’d parted ways after the Chitauri incident. It’s a little awkward at first, but they gain a new rhythm, which is mainly based on their ability to surprise each other and prove those first impressions inaccurate.

Set between Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Avengers: Age of Ultron.

no matchmaking before breakfast by @elcorhamletlive (unrated, 3.4k)

“I don’t even find Steve attractive.” Natasha says, eyes following greedily every drop of coffee the machine pours, for once in her life genuinely unaware of the impact her words are about to cause.

Surreal, But Nice by @festiveferret (E, 26.8k)

Tony Stark never thought he'd ever meet Captain America, let alone have his underwear tumbling around in Tony's dryer mere minutes after he broke Tony's doorknob.

What even was his life?

Mister Fixit and the Mechanic by @mizzy2k (M, 40k)

An Iron Man 3 AU, wherein Steve was defrosted too early, and after a couple of lonely decades working for SHIELD, decides to retire and run a hardware store called Mister Fixit’s in suburban Miami.

Tony Stark, presumed dead, presumed not-Iron Man, needs to make some weapons to take on the Mandarin’s mansion. A non-chain store that takes cash and doesn’t ask questions is just what Tony needs.

Steve becomes intrigued by the mysterious mechanic that keeps buying things from his store, but when he becomes more aware of what Tony the Mechanic is up to, is Steve ready to be this close to the world of superheroes again?

Binary System by Annie D (scaramouche) (E, 13k)

Tony tends to be tactile with people he trusts. These days that list of people includes Steve, which is a good sign of the progression of their friendship. For his part, Steve seems to enjoy it as much as Tony does... until Tony goes a little too far.

absence makes the heart by fantalaimon (G, 4.8k)

“One night,” Tony says, and just flies himself bodily into one of the canary yellow beekeepers like a red and gold battering ram. “I ask for one measly night. One single goddamn night with my boyfriend—”

“Oh, is the boyfriend label on now?” Clint asks over the comms.

Momentary Paws (or, DO NOT WANT) by velithya (T, 16.8k)

WTF KITTEN

Get Some Now by Sineala (T, 10.3k)

Avengers Mansion has a mysterious feline infestation. Meanwhile, Steve just can't figure out how to ask Tony out on a date. And the thirteen teleporting cats sure aren't helping matters any.

Admiring the Scenery by Annie D (scaramouche) (E, 10.2k)

Steve’s used to people checking him out, but when Tony does it, it feels… different.

A Groove of Perpetual Motion by Annie D (scaramouche) @no-gorms (T, 26.7k)

Tony Stark’s pretty sure where he stands with Steve Rogers. They got off on the wrong foot on day one, and since then there’s been minimal tolerance and thinly-veiled dislike between them. Tony’s certain that this would never ever change, not even when he gains some unexpected new information that suggests that Steve’s feelings for him aren’t what he thought. Because it cannot be true. It’s impossible. Surely?

All I Want by @sineala (T, 2.5k)

Steve's not used to anyone spoiling him. But he's willing to let Tony try.

Check One by JenTheSweetie (T, 4.2k)

The important thing to know - and I mean really, the actually important thing - is that no matter what Bucky said, Steve was not flirting with Tony Stark.

(“Yes you were, you son of a - ”)

Steve has an annoying best friend. Tony has an elaborate plan. Sam has allergies. Bucky has no idea what's about to hit him.

Mandatory Fun by @captainneverever (T, 6.7k)

Steve loses a bet to Tony and has to go to Las Vegas for a fun-filled vacation. Or it was fun until people started thinking that they were married.

Tony Stark Defense Squad (Steve's Had Enough) by orbingarrow (G, 1.6k)

The Avengers are called in by the government to "discuss" recent events, but it turns into a game of Let's Bash Tony and Steve is so not cool with that.

Or, the one where Steve Rogers makes himself the President of the Tony Stark Defense Squad. Matching t-shirts to come later.

Our Personal Fairytale by pensversusswords (T, 2.9k)

In which there is a first date, a giant octopus, and Tony is scared of Ferris wheels.

Neanderthals In Tights (Also Known As a Football Game) by Wordsplat (T, 3.2k)

In which Tony supports Steve at his first big football game, with guest appearances by an exasperated Pepper and an embarrassed Bruce, because yeah, okay, maybe Tony's not really one hundred percent clear on the rules of this game. Why, exactly, are a bunch of neanderthals tackling his boyfriend again?

Aesthetic Appreciation by @theappleppielifestyle (M, 2.2k)

“Nice shirt, Stark.”

It’s Natasha, sounding strangely- smug, maybe?- for reasons Tony doesn’t much care to know.

“I know,” Tony says, not opening his eyes. He tilts his head back, lets out a satisfied sigh and rearranges himself on the chair. The sun climbs another inch of his abs when his shirt rides up with the motion.

Today’s a good day, Tony thinks contentedly, and continues sucking lazily on the popsicle.

don't know why it took me so long to see by @goodmorningbeloved (M, 11.2k)

“Oh, watch this,” Natasha says, propping her chin against her knuckles and turning a sweet gaze on him. “Tony, what’s it like dating a superhero?”

Tony bristles in irritation. “We’re not dating,” he snaps. “Captain America probably thinks he can get into anyone’s pants just ‘cause he’s got a mask, costume, and reputation, but not me, buddy. That shield? Gotta be overcompensating for something.” He adds, a bit petulantly, “Oh, and all that blue? Definitely more Steve’s color than his.”

- In which Tony is a genius in all matters except recognizing his boyfriend past a mask.

going on a ride by theappleppielifestyle (unrated, 6.3k)

"You want to take me for a ride on your motorcycle," Tony repeats, slow so he can process it as he’s saying it, "because you think my glasses are cute."

An Abundance of Heart by theappleppielifestyle (T, 14.8k)

Steve finds himself grinning, despite everything, because god, he didn't realize how much he's missed this- having someone to back him, people to fight around, getting caught and pulled to his feet.

Hell, even Stark's quips make his mouth quirk upwards slightly.

When I Think (Oh, it Terrifies Me) by celli (E, 8.6k)

Look, some mornings you wake up and little green men are invading New York City; some mornings you wake up and you can hear Captain America's voice in your head. Tony has been an Avenger long enough that he saves his freakout for important things.

Curiosity Changes Everything by @scifigrl47 (T, 6.5k)

Everyone in their life has had a little case of hero worship. A tiny crush on a celebrity. A teenage infatuation.

Dummy Stark-Rogers is not any different.

And the Mars Rover Curiosity is a stunning piece of tech.

Tony Stark Falls In Love With A Cat by shellhead (M, 6.8k)

When Steve goes missing, Tony ends up finding him at an animal shelter. Volunteering.

Like Gene Kelly in the Movies by lyra_wing (M, 11.4k)

Everything Tony Stark does is a dance. And it's super confusing for Steve.

[suzie-guru]

Suzie’s Decidedly Non-Coherent Thoughts Regarding Trollhunters Season 3.

OKAY.  

So I fully acknowledge I’ve been putting this off, but to be fair to myself, I am still in the midst of some pretty intensive training for this job, and also...

THERE WAS A LOT TO PROCESS WITH THIS SEASON. 

LIKE, A LOT. 

So this post will honestly be a hodgepodge of all sorts of things, and I’m pretty damn sure it won’t be the least bit coherent, but...I made a promise to y’all. 

By far and away, A House Divided was my favorite episode, and that’s really fucking saying something because this Season was RICH with good episodes. I said it once and I’m saying it again, A House Divided is peak Trollhunters - I was breathless and shaking from the power and emotion of that ending scene. Trollhunters is a great show all around, but when it’s when it stops and allows the emotional weight and poignancy of Jim’s journey, all of the sacrifices he has made, to set in and gives its due course...it’s heartbreaking and it’s magnificent and so incredibly powerful. 

Jim’s journey has never been an easy one, but episode hit me like a hammer to the heart - he can’t come back from this. His human life is effectively over. He’s giving up so much, so incredibly much, and he keeps on choosing to answer the call, give himself over again and again and again. This episode brought this all home, and my God, it was heart-wrenching. 

I will admit, I was at first puzzled and a little upset that after everyone saying that it was Jim’s humanity that made him such a strong Trollhunter, suddenly that wasn’t enough. It felt like such a slap in the face. But if there’s one thing about Trollhunters that stays strong, it’s the theme of sacrifice. Jim sacrificing his right to have a normal life to be the Trollhunter the world needs, Draal sacrificing his arrogance and dreams to be the protector and friend of the Trollhunter, Strickler sacrificing his desire for power to be worthy of Barbara’s love and Jim’s trust...

Sacrifice isn’t easy. It hurts a hell of a lot at times. And that’s what makes Jim such an incredible hero. When all the pieces are down, he chooses to be selfless, to put the world above himself. He ends the life he wants to have the life that will save others. I can’t even put into words what that does to me...

Phew. Okay. Deeeeeep breath, Suzanne, and collect thyself. Now onto other things...

All the above being said, Merlin is a dick. Look, I get it - he sees the bigger picture, he cares but he has to look at what needs to be done. I understand that angle. But he’s still a fucking dick. And I’m not only thinking about how he manipulates treats Jim. 

Yeah, I’m thinking about Strickler. 

Who Merlin dismisses as Changeling before walking away...

Sure, Walter was groveling to him at that moment, but...Jesus Christ, you musty magic man. Yes, absolutely, look down like everyone else does upon the race that your goddamned pupil created - hell, you probably look down on them BECAUSE your goddamn pupil created them. Don’t stop to think about they had no choice in the matter, don’t stop to think about how YOU’VE could have helped them and turned them away from Morgana if you had stepped up and set an example of acceptance that other trolls could have followed. Dismiss them just like everyone else does. Let your own bitter disappointment about Morgana color your feelings to them. JERK. 

ALSO. YOU WANTED A “CHAMPION WITH A FOOT IN BOTH WORLDS”!?! GOSH, I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE A FUCKING CHANGELING CHAMPION WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER SOLUTION THAN A POOR TEENAGER WHO JUST WANTS TO LIVE HIS LIFE AND LOVE HIS MOM AND COOK GREAT FOOD AND RIDE HIS VESPA. JUST AN IDEA, JACKASS. 

Look, fuck Merlin. Just fuck him. Jim deserves to be a champion of someone SO much better. Merlin and Morgana are both using their champions as pawns although, to Merlin’s credit, he makes a point of opening Jim’s eyes and making it about Jim’s choice. But yeah, I’m gonna write a very cathartic fanfic featuring Barbara Lake giving Merlin all kinds of hell in regards to his gross negligence over the whole changeling thing...

Okay, what else...what could I possibly be missing...

Oh yeah!

STRICKLAKE. 

Man, I was one happy camper this season after the decidedly dry spell of Season Two. And by “happy camper” I mean gloriously tortured, but I figured you would gather that. 

So many good things, so many gorgeous scenes! Walter on gravesand being brought back by his love for Barbara, his UTTER NERDNESS nervousness and psyching himself up with French (THIS FUCKING DORK) to talk to her again, Barbara being a MAJOR FUCKING ARTIST (MY GIRL IS SO TALENTED) and trying to cope with Walter running off, Walt being tempted by Morgana!Barbara (oh my god my son my son be strong my son but at the same time THIS SHIT IS ALL THE FLAVORS OF MY JAM)

AND THEN THAT SCENE IN THE MUSEUM?!

(HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT WE GOT A MOONLIT FLIGHT MY STRANGE MAGIC HEART WAS QUAKING WITH JOY AND I MAY HAVE MURMURED “THE MOONLIGHT IS PERFECT RIGHT NOW”, DON’T JUDGE MEEEEEE)

Okay, one big ass complaint though: 

WE DID NOT GET A SCENE BETWEEN WALTER AND BARBARA WHERE SHE LETS HIM KNOW SHE REMEMBERS EVERYTHING. 

...WTF?!?

On one hand, this is perfect fanfic fuel. 

On the other hand, WE WAS ROBBED. 

Also, did she just tell the other parents that he was in on everything? How on earth did that go down? I’M SO CURIOUS. 

THAT PLAY.  THOSE FUCKING DORKS. DICTATIOUS BEING ROPPED INTO IT AS WELL. THE FACT THAT WALTER ACTUALLY CHANGED INTO HIS TROLL FORM FOR IT. I’m super confused, did the other parents (aside from Barbara, obviously) think it was makeup or what? 

Meanwhile Walter’s just like “fuck it it might as well happen at least Barbara let me into her house I’ve sat through parent teacher conferences with these plebs before I can handle doing this rag-tag-ass play”

AND THEN!

Okay, I fucking CALLED Usurna pretending to be Barbara as soon as she pretended to cower next to Walter. BARBARA LAKE IS NOT ONE TO COWER, YOU STONY BITCH. 

“My life is not worth the world!”  “...It is to me.” 

*Regina: Stricklake*

*The Heart She’s Holding: Mine* 

then...

“May the world forgive me. For without you, there is no world!” 

I’M OKAY, I’M FINE, I SWEAR I’M FINE. 

Okay, what else...here’s a random run-down: 

THAT LAST FIGHT SCENE WAS STUNNING. Like, granted, the animation is always good, BUT HOLY HELL, THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND BREATHTAKING, EVERYTHING WAS CHOREOGRAPHED SO WELL. 

Walter FINALLY coming back to his rightful place of being Concerned Instructor/Father Figure to Jim. “Young Atlas, you are not alone! Don’t do this! Open the door!” 

(I was literally eating ice cream during this moment, this gif is all too real). 

STEVE AND ELI’S REACTION TO NOMURA WAS A BLESSING. LIKE, AN HONEST AND TRUE BLESSING. WE GOT THE SLOW MOTION AND MUSIC AND EVERYTHING. 

Oh fuck oH FUCK, I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT NOMURA’S REACTION TO FINDING OUT ABOUT DRAAL’S DEATH

OOOOOOOUUUUUUCH

Okay, enough pain...

(for now)

ANGOR REDEMPTION. WE HAVE BEEN BLESSED. 

So I had seen that Walter had wings in the concept art of the show, but I was under the impression that they had decided to forgo that. COLOR ME HAPPY WHEN IT TURNS OUT, NOPE, THEY DID NOT. 

So can Walter just decide he’s feeling more like his knife cape today? I wonder how that works...

(totally not planning a fanfic exploring this and Walter wrapping his wings around Barbara like a cocoon)

((totally not))

(((she lied)))

“I think these kitties are from a bad neighborhood” 

“B is for blender, fur ball.” BARBARA, MY SAVAGE SWEETHEART, FUCK ‘EM UP, FUCK ‘EM ALL UP, YES YES YES. 

So I have personally figured out how I would solve Walter being stuck in his Troll form in my own fanfics (WHICH I AM SO EXCITED TO WRITE, OH WOW) but I’m pretty darn sure that there are multiple other ways for us to work with that (glamour masks, potions, et cetera et cetera...) 

I’m pretty damn sure that Barbara and Walter AREN’T gonna be raising all those babies, but you never know. I personally like the idea of them seeking out adoption centers over the world (Walter knows them because of his work with the Janus Order), but then they decide to raise the REAL Strickler as their own. 

YES I HAVE A FANFIC PLANNED DO NOT JUDGE ME

And yes, I’m sure I am not alone in this, but I let out a soft sob when I saw that dedication to Anton. Rest In Peace, darling. 

What else...

Oh yeah:

Jim’s Troll form is hot. 

There, I’ve said it. 

So yeah, this is all just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my emotions over this show, especially with the fact that it’s officially over. But yeah...what a beautiful and brilliant ride. I couldn’t have asked for me. 

...except an on-screen Stricklake kiss.

But that’s what fanfic is for. 

[mostlysignssomeportents]

William Gibson interviewed: Archangel, the Jackpot, and the instantly commodifiable dreamtime of industrial societies

William Gibson's 2014 novel The Peripheral was the first futuristic book he published in the 21st century, and it showed us a distant future in which some event, "The Jackpot," had killed nearly everyone on Earth, leaving behind a class of ruthless oligarchs and their bootlickers; in the 2018 sequel, Agency, we're promised a closer look at the events of The Jackpot. Between then and now is Archangel, a time-traveling, alt-history, dieselpunk story of power-mad leaders and nuclear armageddon that will be in stores on October 3.

It's been nearly 20 years since I first interviewed Gibson and in the intervening decades we've become both friends and colleagues. He was kind enough to submit to an email interview again, in advance of Archangel's publication.

Cory Doctorow: This feels like an intermediate step between today and Agency, which is, in turn, an intermediate step on the way to The Peripheral. I know that when you first wrote The Peripheral, you didn't really know what The Jackpot was... Is this you taking successive runs at either side of The Jackpot, trying to get up to the edge of it so you can get a better look at it?

William Gibson: It feels like that to me now, but the whole thing’s been completely unintentional.

Mike and I (Michael St. John Smith, the actor, who’s also a screenwriter) started bouncing things around after I’d finished The Peripheral, which I assumed would be a one-off, but I found myself still in the grip of the “stub” alternative timeline thing, so Archangel wound up with a similar mechanism (rules of time travel invented, as far as I know, by Sterling and Shiner). Meanwhile, Agency was conceived as a book set in 2016 San Francisco/Silicon Valley, but treating contemporary reality there as if it were a near future (which of course it feels like to me, because I’m old). But I’m also slow, so Trump got elected before I’d finished, and suddenly I had about half of an ms that felt like it was set in a stub, a world that never happened. Extremely weird feeling! So I had this one extra thing to be pissed off with, about Trump! But then I wondered what would happen if I considered it as exactly that, a stub, but to do so I felt I needed to hook it up with the further future of The Peripheral, the London of the klept. Meanwhile, Archangel had been coming out from IDW, and when I went down to meet them at ComicCon, in 2016, the possibility of a Trump win naturally came up. So, through to November 8th, part me was looking at that, and the other part was No Fucking Way, and, well, you know.

For the record, in the graphic novel's script, pre-election, the Pilot winds up where he winds up in the comic, but it’s a nice WTF moment.

CD: You've written screenplays and novels but not, AFAIK, comics. You're on record as thinking that the comics previously adapted from your work were visually disappointing. You are one of the most visual writers I know, a font of extremely specific and striking visual details -- tell me what it was like to be able to collaborate with drawing-type people who could make visual things happen? How did it compare to screenwriting, how close did it come to your mind's eye, did this scratch some long-felt itch to conjure those visuals up and make them tangible?

WG: Well, previous attempts were well-intentioned, I don’t doubt, but comics have gotten a lot more sophisticated in the meantime.

Maybe because I'm a very visual writer, I don’t actually have any specific urge to see someone else render the things I’ve already seen, myself, in mind’s eye.

That said, the process with IDW was extremely gratifying. The talent and experience of a lot of professionals, all bent toward making this thing right. And budget not an issue, just a question of what could be drawn and fit in available space. You want an atomic explosion, you’ve got it!

CD: You once told me that Neuromancer was optimistic because it only featured a couple of limited nuclear exchanges instead of the holocaust we'd all be expecting. The futures you've written this decade all feature much more grave catastrophes, with much higher death-tolls. Is your optimism (such as it was) waning?

WG: I think I was relatively optimistic then, and remain so, but less so. I’ve never felt that my optimism, such as it was, was particularly logical. Often it felt deliberately quixotic to me.

But I’ve also observed a tendency, over my years as an sf reader, for sf writers of a certain age to give the After Us The Deluge speech, so I promised myself I’d try to be watchful of the onset of that, try to fend it off as best I could. I suspect that when people notice how much of the world they grew up has already ended, it’s quite natural to feel that the world is ending. Because the world one knew quite demonstrably is. But it always has been ending, that way. You can read the ancient Greeks, say, doing it at great length. When younger, though, this sounds like something one can simply choose to avoid, just as old people, to the young, appear to have made some sort of inexplicably terrible decision to become old.

There aren’t many catastrophes in my work, in our traditional cultural sense. There’s the California quake that forms the backstory of the Bridge trilogy, and the somewhat deliberately goofy Singularity that closes it. Otherwise, the catastrophic landscapes are simply human civilization, ongoing. The Peripheral introduced something new, for me, with the idea that our cultural model of catastrophe is still largely one of a uni-causal event of relatively short duration. We are ourselves of relatively short duration as individuals, and thus do we look at the world. Is our widespread use of fossil fuels a single extended catastrophe? Did it become one at some relatively late point? Is our species itself catastrophic (see Sterling’s “Swarm”)? Would it seem so to tigers, could they consider such things, and know that we’re on the brink of bringing about their extinction? I don’t see why it wouldn’t.

It seems to me in retrospect that Ballard’s work had a certain arc, in its employment of catastrophe. Early on, he’d unleash catastrophes of the sort our culture recognizes as such, though with wonderfully poetic results. As he continued, however, the catastrophe became humanity. Not a world made desert, or drowned, but a world made Cannes writ large, and terrible through being the very opposite of deserted.

CD: One place where this catastrophic business wraps around to touch your visual sense is in the cyberpunk aesthetic: for decades, you've been frontrunning the mainstreaming of bohemian subcultures. Archangel features gorgeous, eyeball-kicky sequences in an illegal nightclub in war-torn Berlin, with lots of well-dressed weirdos (there's also a Bowie-esque protagonist in the cast of characters). Today, it's hard to imagine a genuinely underground culture that isn't also something you can buy at the mall, with a few exceptions (e.g. extreme racist alt-right Pepe trolls who have to order their t-shirts off the internet or get them in a flea market). Can you imagine an uncommodifiable futuristic bohemian subculture that today's post-cyberpunks could deploy to make really edgy teens and young people? (Scott Westerfeld suggested that tomorrow's punks might opt for acne in a post-zit world)

WG: I accepted Sterling’s description of bohemias as “the Dreamtime of industrial societies” immediately, but I also took it (and still do) to imply that that might not be true for post-industrial societies. Bohemias were the product, if Sterling was right, of societies in which information was relatively unevenly distributed, specific information being what you needed in order to auto-other yourself into subculture. Roots of “hip”: to know, to be "with it”. A more universal, post-geographical availability of information seriously messes with that, because you don’t need to physically go to Montmartre or the Haight to get with it.

Mr. Baby’s club in Archangel is envisioned as a scaled-up version of what you get when Berlin’s Weimar bohemia becomes a platform for the postwar black market, so imagine it as primarily extra-legal, but staffed in part by pre-war counterculturists.

It’s interesting to consider the Pepe trolls as a subculture, because if they aren’t, why aren’t they? Yesterday a friend showed me a passage from Joshua Green’s book about Steve Bannon, Devil’s Bargain, describing René Guénon as an influence. So I checked out Guénon’s Wiki for the first time. Highly recommend it. Trippy, as we used to say! Guénon was, among other things, a convert to Islam (albeit a raging esotericist along with it, so not just any Islam) and otherwise deep into Egypt. So in the way of things internet I wound up diving his correspondence with Julius Evola, who kept him up to date on what Aleister Crowley was up to, and explained why this Jung character was even more dangerous than Freud. Both these guys, Guénon and Evola, were obviously total hipsters (in the original sense of the term). Subculturalists, unmistakably. With-it dudes. Whatever “it" was.

But then I never felt I truly understood many aspects of what I’d experienced in the countercultural ‘60s until I got a prof at UBC whose central interest was the mass psychology of fascism. Guénon and Evola and, hell, Bannon, come with big deja-vu, that way. Guénon also influenced Andre Breton (doesn’t surprise me). So the Pepe trolls, however distantly, have this weird lineage, which feels countercultural to me. (Is Bannon hip to the Dark Enlightenment?)

Subcultural “cool”, it seems to me, is inherently commodifiable. Subcultures may have pre-dated cool, but I wouldn’t bet on it. There was a countercultural boutique in Greenwich Village in the 1890s, called The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, the first I know of. Sold the outfit a girl needed to self-other into Village-ness (but she still needed cigarettes, too).

CD: Last question: When I first interviewed you, 20 years ago (!!), we talked about why Japan was a wellspring of cool futurity and China was (in the cyberpunk pantheon, at least), an also-ran. Now, Chinese authors are winning Hugo awards and China is projecting more heavy zaibatsu-style force into more territories (including orbit) than Japan ever dreamed of. In The Peripheral, China is a mysterious, closed technocracy that may or may not be the source of interdimensional semi-time-semi-travel. Now that you've written two more books that circle The Peripheral's future, are you homing in any more on what role China plays in this future you're playing in?

WG: In The Peripheral, I thought of China as a much more sophisticated and advanced species of klept. So that “the” klept, as Netherton thinks of it, comes out of the jackpot controlling everything still habitable that isn’t China. Which has become some sort of super-advanced sphere of its own, with little need of dealing with outsiders. Which gave me this other, unknowable realm, a sci-fi Faerie, where impossible magic can conveniently happen without my having to invent an explanation for it. But that’s not any literal prediction for China. That’s me using China as a plot device.

What I wanted from Japan, when I started writing sf, was that it was Japan. It was wonderful for me that it was Japan during the Bubble, because that slotted perfectly into my being sick of sf futures basically being America. But that was really just another excuse for me to write about Japan. The thing that makes me nuts about Japan, as near as I’ve ever been able to express it, is the way in which all of all their culture, their stuff, seems to be fractal. You can break it down into smaller and smaller bits, and each one is still Japanese. For whatever reason, I’ve never gotten that from China. For me, Japan’s gotten steadily more interesting as that Next Big World Player thing has receded. I don’t want to hang with whoever has the most money and spaceships. I want to hang with whoever has the best shadows, the most exquisitely weird and poetic history of being whacked with alien technology, becoming the first industrialized Asian nation, trying to take over their side of the world, getting nuked for their trouble, and inventing the Walkman. I think it’s probably something like you and Disneyland: I’m just so there.

https://boingboing.net/2017/09/22/the-jackpot.html