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kenmaiid · 3 years

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Could you do prompt #2 with Diavolo and Lucifer?

giggled a little when i saw who this prompt would be with bcuz i can picture it so clearly in my head with Dia and Luci.

going with fem!MC since there wasn't anything specified besides the prompt! (and it’s hinted to be poly)

Prompt: “if there’s nothing going on between the two of you, you don’t mind if i ask her out, do you?“

Dinner's at the castle tended to be a bit rare between the three of you quite honestly. With the way that Lucifer was so busy all the time and constantly trying to clean up after the chaos his brothers ensued, that never left all that much time for him to relax after he’d be done with paperwork. And Diavolo has his own slew of issues to look after with being next in line for the thrown after all. His responsibilities came first, and as much he liked to indulge in the shenanigans of everyone else sometimes.

That's not to say that Diavolo never tried his absolute best to gather the two of you to him. He still wanted to have time to keep an eye on his two favorite persons in The Devildom after all, and it would seem that meeting over dinner every so-and-so was the most optimal way to do it!

It’s a win-win for all, quite honestly. You get to have a nice meal and talk about the exchange program and share your escapades in great detail, and Lucifer can give his report on the latest happenings. Conversation always starts out seemingly hushed, and quite careful, as if each participant in the room needs to readjust to the feeling of being in each others company again.

Things always lighten up rather quickly once Diavolo gets to talking though; and once Lucifer has relaxed and had a cup of wine or two then he get’s a little more honest and chatty. It’s enough for him to lose his guard a bit but not enough to make him completely lose his inhibitions.

Nonetheless, it’s always a delight when the three of you can forget the stresses of everyone and everything else.

Even Barbatos’ looming figure in the background practically fades away once MC gets to talking. And it certainly is a pleasure to hear both guests of honor laughing or to see them smile at the odd joke here and there.

So when things start to settle down a little more for the night, it’s when Diavolo decides to indulge in the idea of being more observant. He’s noticed the way you smile at him from across the table, but he’s also noticed the wistful looks Lucifer has been throwing your way every now and then; the way he’s absolutely enamored with listening to you speak. The wall he puts up with others is practically down as he sits with the two of you.

And somewhere in the back of Diavolo’s mind he can’t help but admire both of you.

Lucifer watches MC with a careful eye, and it's as he leaves his quiet musings does Diavolo catch his eye. Perhaps The Prince’s gaze is a bit too knowing in the moment; a little more than he should’ve let on, because Lucifer promptly looks away, grabbing his teacup and taking a languid sip. His face is flushed, and probably not due to his drink.

It makes something light up in Diavolo’s chest.

“Shall we call it a night?” Is what Diavolo says after a bit of consideration. “Dinner’s finished after all and it’s getting quite late is it not? I wouldn’t want to keep you two past curfew.”

“I wouldn’t mind honestly.” MC laughs lightly, brushing a few strands of her out of her face. “We could have like, a proper sleepover one day even! Just the three of us. I think that would be really fun.”

Lucifer moves his empty glass to that side, face still rather flushed. “MC, that sounds a bit...”

“It sounds like a wonderful idea actually!” Diavolo laughs. “Perhaps one day we can arrange a time.”

“A royal sleepover, huh...” MC muses. She smiles a little to herself, and with a stretch she pushes her chair out to stand. “Well, like you said we can arrange something another time. It is pretty late.”

“Don’t go just yet, MC! I’ll have Lucifer accompany you on the way back. Ah, but first please give us a moment to talk.”

“Oh.” Mc stares for a moment, eyes darting between the two of them. Whatever happens to be on her mind she doesn’t make it known though, instead smiling a little to herself. “Of course, of course. I’ll let you guys get on with it.” She excuses herself; wishing Diavolo and even Barbatos a good night, and then she makes her way towards the large entrance doors.

The two of them watch her go until she’s out of sight, quiet looks of admiration. MC was such an interesting subject after all. It’s a wonder how she’s managed to captivate the both of them in such a short amount of time.

Lucifer seems to snap out of his musings first though, turning to meet Diavolo with a little smile of his own. Diavolo likes many sides of Lucifer, but this side of him where he is a lot more open to him; it truly makes something swell in his chest.

“You sure do love watching us eat don’t you? Are you not satisfied with your own plate?” Lucifer jokes a little. The quip makes Diavolo’s smile widen. “So what is it you wanted to talk about so suddenly?” Lucifer asks, standing a bit straighter.

“Oh nothing much.” The Prince smiles. “I was curious about something, as such I wanted to ask concerning said thing.”

“Ah?” Lucifer frowns a little, unsure. What if he had another idea about a silly play or making them dress up again. He’s already gone along with so much, and there was no telling what was running through the head of someone so eccentric. ...Lucifer always indulged him anyways. “And that would be...?”

“Do you fancy, MC?” Diavolo asks outright.

It’s wonder that the others ears seem to turn even redder in the low lighting of the room. Lucifer looks away then, needing a moment to gather himself. “Why would I...” He looks back. “And why are you asking about something so...”

Even at a normal level, Diavolo's voice practically booms with laughter. “Personal?” Though his voice is much more level, considering as he turns to the other with a smile. “Sorry, sorry. It’s fun to tease you.”

The Prince gets a little closer then, looming over the other. What might seem like a show of power is as much of a show of interest. Golden eyes locking with dark red.

Lucifer doesn’t move away though, merely meeting his gaze. There’s something littered under the surface though, an emotion he can’t quite place.

“You should ask her out, if your heart desires so.”

“I... Seriously there’s nothing like that going on.”

"Hmmm.” Diavolo hums considering. “Well, if there's nothing going on between the two of you, you don't mind if I am the one to ask her out then? Do you Lucifer?" The Prince whispers. "Or would my morning star take issue with not being the center of my attention?"

For a moment Lucifer is too stunned to say anything.

They eye each other in silence for a long while. Diavolo’s smile is bright but his eyes are calculating, carefully watching as he waits for what Lucifer might say.

“You... really are too much sometimes.” Is all Lucifer can manage to weakly mutter. He seems quite flustered. “I’ll be leaving now if you didn’t need anything else. Good night, Lord Diavolo.”

Diavolo gives him a nice pat on the shoulder; quite pleased when the other doesn’t immediately move away like he would in the past. “Be safe, Lucifer!”

“Right.” And with that Lucifer hurries to make his way towards the entrance, mind still racing from the recent conversation and the fading buzz that drinking brings. If MC happens to ask if he’s feeling alright then he quickly brushes it off, nonchalant. And Diavolo listens in the distance, waits for the sound of the large doors to close shut; echoing in the empty castle. And suddenly all is silent again.

His smile falters only slightly, but he’s still optimistic nonetheless.

"Young Lord, perhaps you were too forthright in your declarations today." Barbatos gently supplies as he finally makes his way over to the table. The plates weren’t going to clear themselves after all. And there was no way such a dutiful butler would ever let the castle get infested with.... -oh he couldn’t even say it.

And Diavolo laughs, something light. "Nothing wrong with giving him a bit of motivation. I’d like for him to be happier after all."

"Do you not admire both MC and Lucifer, though?" He questions carefully.

The Prince ponders for a moment. "Perhaps I can find a way to have them both after all. Ah, please schedule another day in which I can have dinner with the two of them, Barbatos!"

"Yes M'Lord."

"Or perhaps we can arrange a day out with something more exciting. A group activity that all parties can enjoy! Maybe we can follow up on that sleepover MC suggested. Ah, let’s see..." The Prince is already off in his own head again, muttering something to himself as Barbatos neatly stacks their empty plates.

Barbatos is already getting a headache at the idea of his upcoming schedule.

#obey me #obey me diavolo #obey me lucifer #obey me mc #om diavolo #om lucifer #lucifer x reader #diavolo x reader #obey me x reader #obey me barbatos #dialuci #my writings #i feel bad tagging barbs since his appearance was only so minor aha #but still he's there yknow #hope it was okay that i made it poly?#i dnt think either of them would back down from liking MC tbh. but at the same time the chokehold Lucifer has on Diavolo needs to be studied #ALSO #i think its finally that Barbatos is just there off to the side watching all this happen #he heads up to his room later like 'man. can they flirt somewhere else. i never even got to eat'

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cooloddball · 3 years

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Someone submitted something in my inbox and they wanted to remain anonymous. Since this is an extremely long essay, I will put it under the cut. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

xxx submitted: hey, i was the one who ask what do you think of Misha and Jensen's current relationship First off all thank you for your answear it means much to me cause im easy to be convice and this person who keep telling me that they are no longer friends can be so convicing, so I'm actully trying to forget what she said 😅 so I'm just writing a few. she said that since they no longer work together, they will forget about each other, and do their common things like the gay jokes, face touches ect. With other people, and neglect each other, don't talk to each other, and then meet new people who will replace the other. And and she talked about the gish thing, she said she sure they didn't talk since the end of the series, because Jensen didn't know where Misha was and Misha didn't know about the Radio Company vol 2 (but i saw people say that, they were just pretending, because Misha liked something about Radio Company Vol 2, before the gish live, so in theory he already knew then or something like that) and She said Misha wrote a poem about Darius not Jensen and now I will write down what she sent me : I saw a post about Jensen's current activities on social media, and I've come to the conclusion the only person he doesn't interact with is mish. Sadly this makes my break up theory even stronger. I feel like this is a goodbye to one of the biggest parts of my life. They've moved on from "uk what I haven't told you today? That i love u"+ from "miss my only jensen" from "i love u misha i mean it from the bottom of my heart" from "jensen has no flaws" from "misha is the funniest thing ever happened to me" from all that love and affection from everything they developed together and now they're apart leaving their lives like nothing happened and call me a dramatic but they both have the same energy now as someone has after a big break up. and Jensen comments on almost every of his friend’s post except Misha’s"+ Jenmish is genuinely the best thing that has ever happened in my entire life. I owe them literally everything. They're the reason i hold on. Unfortunately on this essay i have to start using past tense verbs for them, and i have to continue on that. I don't know for how long y'all been in spn fandom. But even if u joined one year before the show ended you'd know how close and intimate jensen and misha were. Everything about them was unmatched.+ The chemistry and how they just fit eachother. They had always been all over eachother. Like they were holding on eachother for dear life. They completed eachother and were like world's most powerful thing. They were the definition of soulmatism. No matter where, they ALWAYS kept interacting with eachother. Each possible tweet or insta post. On cons that the other wasn't there, the other one would bring up the othere's name for no absolute reason. +The looks and repeated love confessions. How invested they were both into eachother. The family they had built together cuz we know how close dee and mish are (look all the charity work they've been doing together recently). There are youtube videos to proof everything I've said so far.When i say break up, my real intention is that they've grown apart. Everything started in the the third or forth month of pandemic. Before than jensen used to interact +(comment mostly) on almost all of misha's posts. But after a while everything just stopped. At first personally didn't care that much. Bcuz I believed too much in them that I thought not even the gods above could separate them. I told myself maybe they spend long hours chatting or video calling and that's why online public interactions are gone. But as it passed it almost diminished to zero. Except some likes from jackles and eventual ones from misha there weren't anything else.+ We got absolutely no content and the show went off too. We were helpless and were sticking to everything we had Dee had a big social media shot down, so as jensen. Misha was busy with the election. We got some interviews for it with all of them. But we didn't get much.except remember both of them pulling a bff

move. and texted eachother during an online con where everyone else were dead-serious about politics? That flickered something in me. That showed me that+ they can't ever possibly let eachother go. And the times everyone else were talking and these too would just talk random things together (the one jackels had a white hat on with stacy abraham).And then Misha posted that for jensen's bday We really overlooked it. That shit was too intimate. To close. Fav march baby? U just don't go around and called ur bestie baby and when u mean it deeply. Especially not when ur friend is jensen ackles the "I suffered form internalized homophobia my whole life+ but fuck my wife's an angel and i have an angel bf too and another angel which is his wife but I'd rather die than come out cuz my asshole dad pulled a John winchester on me". It doesn't work like that. But uk how mish is. Carefree and open. I believe they got into a fight bcuz of this. He didn't even like the post. AND that was when the tiny bit of interactions we had was gone too. For a while jensen didn't even liked his posts. After a month it started again.What made me finally believe in that they had grown too+ far: I still remember the night misha posted that he and jensen were going to have a con for gish together. I remember how hard I cried. Lile the whole world was given to me. But deep down in my heart I knew that something would definitely happen. It didn't sit right with me and unfortunately my senses never lie to me. Jensen showed up at the wrong time bcuz of misunderstanding the time zones (this was HILARIOUS). That's not even my point.+ I've seen that interview 3 times so far. It always reminds me of when i saw my ex at a party and we were both so thrilled to see eachother and we still loved the other dearly, but we just couldn't work it out. Jensen and Misha's expressions were EXACTLY the same. The genuine smiles and longs pauses were they just stared at eachother. I'm so happy that it was online cuz if they actually gave that looks to eachother standing right next to the other one I would've collapsed. Misha didn't know that jensen's album+ was out. And he got so embarrassed when he found it out. He didn't know that jensen was on set and hadn't been home for 8weeks. Jensen had no idea where misha was. And this means that they hadn't talked in a long long time.When you're that close with someone for more than a decade, i mean THAT close, even if u're separated from eachother you'd at least check on the once a week, or at least once in two weeks. But it was vividly clear that they hadn't. I hate how this world works. They would always be in my heart.+ I would be thankful from them for everything. It hurts, and it won't stop and im so sure I'd be carrying this pain for a long time. They mean too much to a lot of us. Sometimes I think to myself that god i love them so much. Remember in 2019 when we used to get SO many jenmishdee interactions? That was LIT. It was THEE year for us. I hope they're doing good. I really do. I hope we don't get more proofs and I won't have to update this thread. Cuz my heart won't be taking it very+ well.Something i gotta add U may say that Jensen's busy and that's why he doesn't comment. But he comments on a lot of jared and his new costar's posts. So that's no excuse. So yeah that's it. I don't know what am I supposed to think. english isn't my native language, so sorry for the mistakes

Here is my response:

I don't know who this person who has been talking to is but I have to say they seem to be project their previous relationship experience on cockles.

I believe Jensen and Misha are okay and are together. Social media likes and comments don't mean anything. I mean it's not like Jensen or Misha used to comment on each other's posts before. Jensen didn't even wish Dee Happy Mother's Day this year, does that mean they are not together anymore? Nope. He has other best friends he has known for over 20 years like Jason Manns, Steve Carlson etc that he doesn't wish happy birthday, does that mean they are not friends anymore.

Please let's not put value on social media likes. I don't even follow my own family on sm and I don't always like or comment on my bf's or bff's posts on sm. So it doesn't mean anything.

As for the Gish Panel, I have talked about it before, the time Jensen was slotted to attend the panel, he was meant to answer fan questions. I honestly believe they decided to not do it at that time because they knew the questions would be about Destiel and not their new projects. If you watched that panel, Misha knew that Jensen's album was out as I pointed out. He was just trying to promote the album and soldier boy. He knew Jensen had also buffed out. It was all to promote Jensen. Anything else you hear is trolls and antis just being loud. Also don't forget Jensen called him "babe".

If Jensen and Misha weren't okay, he wouldn't have attended or participated all those panels Misha organized especially for Gish. Danneel also posts a lot about RA and likes Misha's posts. I am 100% Misha visited the Ackles when he went to Colorado last month.

Stop listening to trolls and/or antis or just people who are projecting and look at facts.

#submissions #cockles

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mcd-ms-rants · 3 years

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sorry this was delayed!! something happened irl

i actually had to rewatch certain scenes of s3 bcuz my brain blocked them due to trauma

anyways enjoy

STUFF I DIDNT LIKE ABOUT MYSTREET SEASON 3:

• ok first why does half the cast mentally regress into children?? This is extremely evident with Aphmau and Zane. Aphmau turns into a LITERAL CHILD and Zane becomes some angsty emo bratty teen. the only people who are not children are laurance lucinda katelyn and to some extent garroth

• oh wow zianna carrying the whole season on her back offering THE ENTIRE DAMN STREET. wow the Ro’meaves really care about their friends. If the Ro’meaves have so much money why do they even send their kids to pdh why can’t they go to O’Khasis prep they’re literally drowning in cash I was just ranting about this on another blog :)

• i get it this is a slice of life kinda season and it’s mainly centered around comedy but can we still see a bit of character building here like people like Dante and kc and Zane and like three fourth of the cast are severely lacking

• where do Dante and Travis even work?? I know that huge two story house isn’t cheap how do they make all that cash. Can we know what their jobs are since they don’t work at the maid cafe

• I REALLY don’t like that Zane is pretty much only shown with ponies here throughout this season. I’ve said this so many times now. HE HAS MORE CHARACTER THAN THAT. You CANNOT seriously tell me that the defining point of his character is ponies and mlh

• in the series before s3 (I think it was called the bigger move??) we get to see zianna talk about the Ro’meave family business and how Zane has always been more inclined towards it. It would’ve been nice to see it expanded on a bit more in this season considering it’s a huge company and garroth is (probably) set to inherit it and probably needs to like attend meetings or something as practice. and cue the brother angst

• is it really ok for Lucinda to constantly teleport inside people’s houses isn’t that kinda trespassing (I’ll make a post on the magic system here later!!)

• The sk’s are the ONLY people who have their shit together they have like the only decent character development arc. Gene shouldn’t have had a crush on Aphmau after all this time tho. That kinda ruins it

• WHY IS GARRANCE QUEERBAIT

• no seriously why

• WHERE IS VYLAD where did he go

• so many characters like Nicole, kenmur and Emmalyn are never seen again this is sad

• I don’t like how Aaron and Aphmau pretty much stop developing as individual characters and start developing as aarmau from this season. am I the only one who feels this way??

• not that important but

• some of the proportions for the items were WAY off. those cheeseburgers are literally the size of Aphmau‘s head and some objects are bigger (idk if this was intentional)

• why will Zane literally obey Aphmau like she’s god (which she technically is but he doesn’t know that yet) I get it their friends but let him have a bit of a backbone

• ok NO HATE TO THE VA but what is Ivan’s voice. once again no hate. but seriously

• why is every side character so generic looking?? the main cast have so many mods and add ons but they need it more DESPERATELY

• I mean just LOOK at the two dudes next to Ivan

• would it really have taken that long to at least make them not so generic

• also why do those two dudes next to Ivan like never speak why’s he got two mute dudes following him like he’s the boss

• show the sk’s more you cowards

• SHOW THEM

• yay Gene :) Gene hugging Dante is one of the best moments in this season HANDS DOWN

• once again kc’s character gets tossed aside. we don’t really learn anything new about her this season aside from the fact that she cannot be serious but we already knew that. it’s been three seasons and we pretty much know the same things we did in s1

• also can we know a bit more about some of these characters in general? Like Dante, Travis, kc and Zane. hobbies and interests?? Things unique to them?? some of these characters still don’t have many unique traits and they need them

• aarmau breakup was literally because ivan splashed a cat potion in the maid cafe and Aphmau (somehow) asks Aaron if he did it. and bcuz Aaron saw a pic of Zane hugging Aph beforehand (which even friends can do) he got mad at the whole thing and just left. I’m sorry what was going on here. Did this really warrant going back to your parents house?? Reason seems stupid to me. also I don’t like how LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE helps aph with her breakup since she’s in denial but what does she do?? Like nothing. girl pls. After the moms get involved it gets pretty straightforward. I mean they basically fetch him from his parents and bring him back. also wow Aaron’s parents SUCK. Cmon even ZANE got some development there you mean to tell me that the protag didn’t even DO ANYTHING. The person who was supposed to get the most development out of this breakup didn’t get any at all. then what was the point of a breakup if Aphmau didn’t learn anything from it??

ya so this is it that’s all that’s coming to me rn

once again sorry it’s kinda late stuffs been going on irl and I’m trying to deal with it

thanks for reading!! <3 <3

#zane ro'meave #garroth ro'meave #aphmau #aaron lycan #lucinda #travis valkrum #katelyn the firefist #dante mystreet #gene mystreet #zenix #sasha #this is a rant #rant #idk what this season was #but there were a lot of flaws #also pls what was the aarmau breakup

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i-am-a-reader-fear-me · 4 years

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A Percabeth AU where they keep their relationship secret in fear of what their parents might think. (Warning: this goes over both PJO and HoO so it's very long):

The beginning of TLT goes as it should but after Percy is claimed, Annabeth is suddenly meaner and colder.

He remembers the Poseidon/Athena rivalry but doesn't see why they have to hate each other bcuz of their parents.

But Annabeth doesnt relent.

They still go on the quest together bcuz "you are so going to fail without a daughter of Athena."

But they still argue a lot and give poor Grover a satyr migraine.

When they have that bonding moment on the truck, Percy thinks maybe they're sorta friends, but Annabeth proves that wrong later by calling him a "Seaweed Brain" bcuz he's so stupid.

Percy fires back with "Wise Girl" but Annabeth seems to take that as more of a compliment than an insult.

(He doesn't stop calling her that tho)

After Luke betrays Percy, Annabeth's the one that found him after the dryads and she drags him to the infirmary but completely denies caring about him afterwards.

By SoM, Percy is so done with this and goes over to her asking if they could be friends.

Annabeth, who actually would like to be his friend, agrees with reluctancy, saying, "We have to keep it a secret though, or who knows what our parents might do."

Percy agrees.

Grover knows they're friends now cuz of the empathy link, but doesn't say anything.

In TTC, when Annabeth falls off the cliff, he blames himself more than ever, bcuz if they hadn't been fake arguing she might not have been distracted and fallen.

Thalia blames him even more too, and he has to keep his cover and can't tell her he knows it's all his fault.

Nico asks if Annabeth is Percy's girlfriend.

He says no, but he has a funny feeling in his heart.

He goes to the attic to ask the Oracle about Annabeth.

It doesn't answer.

When he thinks Artemis is about to ask Annabeth to join the Hunters, he knows he has to tell her something, even if it meant blowing their cover.

He breathes a sigh of relief when Artemis asks Thalia, and Annabeth is waiting for him to talk with narrowed eyes as if trying to figure out what he wants to say.

He chokes. (~Like doesn't say his feelings, not actually choke lol~)

In BotL, they are totally going out on a secret unofficial movie date but ofc the fiasco with Kelli at Goode happens.

Annabeth gets really jealous when Rachel appears. (Especially since Rachel has more opportunity to go out with Percy bcuz Annabeth and Percy have to pretend to hate each other.)

Percy, ofc, does not realize why in Hades she's acting like she really hates him even though they're in private.

At camp, they're playing Capture the Flag when they stumble on an entrance to the Labyrinth.

They go down to hide from monsters and end up stuck.

It's so dark Annabeth grabs his hand to keep from being separating. (~this is canon, they were holding hands I checked~)

When they find their way back out, it appears almost an hour had gone by when they were sure they were down for a couple minutes.

The campers were searching for the two of them and are immediately suspicious when they find the two alone. Together.

But they forget about that when Clarisse comes and asks about the "hole" they fell into and Annabeth suggests they continue talking in private.

It is then that Annabeth, Percy, Grover, and Tyson go on their quest.

When Annabeth and Percy reach Mount St. Helens they are quickly found out.

Percy tells Annabeth to escape saying he has a plan. (He really doesn't)

She kisses him. (~whaaaaaaaat~)

When she leaves, Percy apparently decides to cause a volcano to erupt. (~ya he doez~)

He lands on Ogygia, while Annabeth, thinking he is dead, goes back to camp, alone.

When she returns, they ask where Percy, Grover, and Tyson are but she refuses to say anything.

They realize what happened.

They have a burning of the shroud ceremony where she doesn't say anything, sitting, her face emotionless, but her heart in turmoil as she listens to Chiron.

That's when Percy crashes the funeral.

Annabeth is outraged.

She pretends it's because "THE WHOLE QUEST IS BEING HELD UP BECAUSE OF YOU! AND WHAT WERE YOU DOING, ENJOYING A VACATION AT PARADISE ISLAND?!?!"

It's really because she was head over heels with worry and grief (while he's off with sOmE imMorTal gOdDeSs) but she can't let anyone know that.

She is certainly not happy when Rachel joins their quest.

(Percy still doesn't get it.)

Before TLO, they are playing Capture the Flag, and the two are on opposite sides. (~in The Demigod Files, the story they find Festus for the first time in~)

Annabeth and Silena capture Percy and Beckendorf and the boys suffer an utter loss. (Were the myrmekes part of the plan? They'll never know.)

Beckendorf and Silena totally know they like each other no matter how much Percy and Annabeth fake it and try to get one of them to ask each other to the Independence Day firework show.

Annabeth does end up asking Percy and they watch the fireworks secretly next to the woods so no one sees them.

They hold hands or something else just as cute idk.

In TLO, when the Battle of Manhattan starts, everyone is surprised when Annabeth let's Percy take the lead.

When she takes the blade for Percy she says it was bcuz "I didn't know it was him!"

"So you would take a blade for anyone if it wasn't Percy?"

"...yes."

But by this time everyone secretly ships Percabeth so no one questions it.

After the war, Percy gives up immortality mostly for her but only those two know it. (And maybe Grover).

Annabeth asks him to meet her in the woods and when he does, she brings him a lumpy blue-colored cake which Tyson helped make. (Bcuz of course Tyson knows that they're secretly friends but Grover told him not to tell anyone).

They kiss, duh.

But then a monster comes out from the woods and they don't want to fight it after they just had a war so they run.

They end up by the lake and Percy pulls Annabeth in to get away from the monster.

Cue best underwater kiss ever.

They date in secret for two months but Percy's mom knows.

When Percy goes missing, Annabeth freaks.

She searches for him everywhere and if anyone asks why she's searching so hard for someone she doesn't even like, she just replies, "He probably just disappeared bcuz it's his turn to do the camp chores and I will not let him slack off," or "Who else am I supposed to use for target practice???"

(None of the campers who'd been in the Titan war buy it.)

In SoN, the only thing Percy remembers is Annabeth, but for some reason, he has this instinct to not tell anyone about her so he doesn't.

In MoA she still judo flips him and acts all mad (which she is) but he still laughs it off and says all sarcastic, "Oh, did the smartass daughter of Athena miss me?"

But he missed her too.

When they go to eat lunch Annabeth and Percy excuse themselves to "go to the bathroom" but they really snuck off to have their own private reunion.

"I missed you so much, Seaweed Brain. Don't ever disappear like that again."

"I'm sorry, Wise Girl. I missed you too."

*kissing*

Later, when Annabeth and Percy sneak off to the Pegasi stables on the Argo II and sleep next to each other.

Frank finds them.

They swear they didn't do anything and threaten Frank into silence.

He can never look at them the same way again though.

When Annabeth has to get the Athena Parthenos, Percy paces the deck of the Argo but says he's not worried about a daughter of Athena.

When she finally gets the statue, he goes down to meet her but she trips and falls into the Pit.

He catches her, but now he's hanging on a ledge.

"Percy, let me go. You can't pull us both up." She whispers, knowing they're too low for the others to hear.

"We're staying together. You're not getting away from me. Never again." He whispers back.

"As long as we're together."

At least in Tartarus, they don't have to pretend they don't absolutely, utterly love each other.

In Blood of Olympus, Percy, Annabeth, and Piper are walking underground to the monster's base in the Parthenon when they see a trident mark in the ground.

Annabeth says it's the place where Poseidon struck the ground.

At this point, Percy turns to Piper and asks, "Can you keep a secret?"

Piper nods.

That's when Percy kisses Annabeth.

When he pulls away, he says, "This is where the rivalry ends….for us, at least."

Piper acts surprised but on the inside she is rAGING bcuz now Leo owes her ten bucks but she can't tell him.

After the Giant war they consider telling their friends, but they're not sure…

Idk how to end this just keep going

Sort of a bonus:

The Hephaestus and Athena cabins worked together to make everyone monster-proof phones (which also correct their dyslexia) and Annabeth and Percy use them all the time to text each other and no one knows.

Jason asks Percy to come to a cafe with some of the others, and Annabeth and Percy are texting the whole time.

Their convo goes something like this:

'hey Annabeth, me, Jason, Frank and some of the others r going to that cafe on 31st street'

'*Jason, Frank, some of the others and I' 'Really? Piper, Hazel, and I are going there too. They mentioned Jason, Frank, and Leo might be there, but not you.'

'weird, they didn't say anything about u either' 'hey wait a sec, Jason's texting on some gc called Operation Get Them Together' 'the other guys' phones r ringing everytime he sends something…'

'What? Operation Get Them Together???'

'yeah'

'....'

'what'

'Oh no.'

'what??? Annabeth????'

'They're trying to set us up.'

'wdym set us up'

'I MEAN, they're TRYING to get us TO GET TOGETHER'

'huh?'

'THEY WANT US TO GO OUT PERCY! YOU KNOW, TO BE A COUPLE???'

'ok okkk u don't have to yell'

'🤦‍♀️'

'so what do we do'

'I think we should go along with it.'

'wait hold on, Jason's asking me who im texting'

'Wait, tell him it's your girlfriend. Just to screw with them.'

'haha yes ur a genius'

'I know.'

Percy tells Jason that he is texting his girlfriend, to which Jason replies by "What?!" and frantically starts typing on the group chat to tell everyone that 'YOU GUYS PERCY SAYS HE HAS A GF ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION!!!'

To which Piper is the first to reply, saying, 'Nah, trust me, keep going with it'

At this point, they reach the cafe, and the boys and girls meet up at a table.

Annabeth, immediately going into acting mode, says, "What is he doing here?"

Percy fires back with a scowl and says, "You didn't tell me she was going to be here. I'm leaving."

Jason stops him tho

Percy and Annabeth sit down at the table, but everyone is still standing.

Piper and Hazel say they have to go to the bathroom and leave.

Jason and Leo say they're going to go order (even tho it's a sit down with a menu and order type of cafe???)

Everyone seems to have some kind of excuse to leave until Percy and Annabeth are left alone.

The two pull out their phones again.

'Seriously? This is their plan? Say we're all going out to eat and then leave the two of us alone?'

'ig' 'what do we do now'

'I don't know.' They're probably spying on us…'

'um is that Reyna, Hazel, and Calypso in the bushes with mud and green war paint on their faces?'

Reyna, Hazel, and Calypso were indeed hiding in the bushes (with binoculars) with mud and green war paint on their faces.

'Wtf?? How'd they do that so fast???' 'And is that Leo and Piper holding newspapers with eyeholes cut through???'

'lol yea...then that eagle flying above us is prolly Frank'

'Jason is hiding in the clouds to your six.'

'where r Nico and Will?'

'I think that's them making out in the bushes.'

'lmaoo im so gonna tease them for that' 'so what do we do now Wise Girl'

'...' 'Follow my lead.'

'k'

Annabeth puts away her phone and stands up.

Percy follows her lead.

She says, "We know you guys are there, just come out. It's not going to work. And we see you too, Nico and Will."

The other demigods come out of their hiding spots (the two who had been called out looking especially sheepish).

"Why not?" Piper says, knowing perfectly well why not.

Percy looks between Annabeth and Piper, and seems to come to a decision.

"Because," he says and goes over to Annabeth and kisses her, "we're already together."

The responses were very diverse.

"What?!"

"I knew it!"

"Leo! My ten bucks. Now."

"Yeah, I walked in on them sleeping together…"

"So we did all this for nothing???"

"Wait, did you say sleeping together?"

They arguing stops as two flashes of light almost blind everyone and two gods appear.

Poseidon and Athena.

For several seconds, the two gods just stare at Percy and Annabeth (who are now holding hands just bcuz)

Then, finally, after what seemed and EXCRUCIATINGLY long time, Poseidon turns to Athena and says:

"I was right, you were wrong, I was RIGHT, you were WRONG, I WAS RIGHT, YOU WERE WRONG, YOU OWE ME FIFTY DRACHMAS BIRD BRAIN"

This was not the reaction the demigods was expecting if you couldn't tell

Athena just scowls and makes a pouch filled with drachmas appear, and throws it at Poseidon.

Poseidon catches it, bringing out what appears to be a phone and starts calling someone.

Athena goes over to Percy and Annabeth.

She looks mad, and Annabeth tries to let go of Percy's hand, panicking, trying to think of a lie, but Percy doesn't let go.

"My daughter is the smartest and best of my children, and as much as I don't approve of this, if she chose you, sea-spawn, she must have a good reason. But if you step one foot out of line, I will have you punished, understood?"

Athena addresses this to Percy, who nods fearfully.

"Good."

Suddenly there are a bunch more flashes of light as more gods appear bcuz apparently, Poseidon wanted everyone to see that he was right and Athena was wrong.

Ofc chaos ensues.

But Percy and Annabeth are still holding hands and look at each other and feel overwhelmingly happy for the first time in a long time because now they don't have to keep their relationship a secret anymore.

THE END~

WTF HAVE I WRITTEN.

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years

Text

warnings: extremely negative feelings towards a sibling, distressing / intrusive thoughts. placed under a break due to the content of the message. remember, I'm not a mental health professional.

updated with additional viewpoints from readers at the bottom!

I'm sorry in advance.

I really hate my older sister. She never respects my boundaries, insults me frequently, and is just annoying and hypocritical in general.

I've always had these issues with her, but she lived at her own apartment away from me and the rest of my family, so I've been able to control my hatred of her. But last year in March she moved back in and sold her apartment. She has no plans of leaving anytime soon, and I can't stand her.

We shared a bedroom for about a year because we were also taking care of my cousin who also moved in with us last year. My cousin has since moved out, but my sister is unfortunately here to stay for a couple of years. But with extra space, I was able to move into the spare bedroom and thought that would be the end of my problems.

It wasn't. In fact, she has become even more unbearable. The hardest part of this relationship is that she has a weird obsession with being with me. I'm not sure if this is because she loves me, or she's just weird. I think she's weird because my parents never act like she does.

Our bedrooms are right next to each other. There's really no reason for her to miss me. But every single fucking minute she's coming into my room to bother me. I would have more empathy for her if she acknowledged my limits, but she doesn't.

She's constantly cuddling me after I've said for MONTHS that I don't enjoy it and it makes me uncomfortable. She constantly belittles me by saying I couldn't live without her, and that I would be a mess if it wasn't for her (mind you, I've lived without her at the house for YEARS and I was perfectly fine). She's constantly in my business, interrogating me about every little thing. She once locked the door and wouldn't let me leave the room without answering her questions for 20 minutes; she asked me about a $30 Amazon order containing manga I ordered with MY OWN MONEY. And I had permission for my parents to order it! It wasn't her business whatsoever.

I've tried to keep her out numerous times; I've gotten in trouble for it. My parents say I'm being mean and that this is her way of loving me. What I feel like they ignore is that I'M UNCOMFORTABLE. Her way of "loving me" HURTS.

I've tried communication. I've had multiple meetings with my family about my boundaries and they say they'll change, but they never do.

Another factor that worsens this is that I have borderline personality disorder. I'm currently being denied therapy or intervention of any kind. I get told my mental illness is a result of me having an attitude and hating my family.

I writing this to you because I've been having very alarming thoughts recently. I'm been somewhat suicidal as long as I can remember, but this is different. I've been having nightmares about killing my family/my family killing me. I don't want to kill my family. As much as they have abused me, I know they truly love me deep down. But when I'm in a mental breakdown, I don't think for the most part. I'm afraid I'm going to do something to hurt them if they continue to push me. I'm too scared to turn myself into the police and I don't want to be taken away from my home. I truly need therapy, but it's expensive and I'm not allowed to get it.

Are there any options left for me? I love my family and I want to get better, but I can't stand them. It'll be a while before I can live on my own, and I don't think I'll make it that long.

I'm so sorry.

I appreciate that you came to me, however, please remember I am not a mental health professional.

I do not have the best relationship with my family. I've come to accept that they just exist and I moved away from them. I keep a strict level of familiarity with them for my own sanity and well-being. There are people in my immediate family I don't talk to anymore or only speak to in certain situations, with other people around to buffer my emotions. No one in my family understands or respects my mental health issues and I have ceased talking about it with them.

I will admit, I had to ask for help. I'm going to share the answer of someone I trust, because they are much more level-headed when it comes to something like this.

Use different words with your sister. Instead of "I'm mad or annoyed", use words that bring out more empathy - "You're making me sad and uncomfortable. You're hurting me." Anger is usually perceived as something within you, something you must control. But sadness is usually not perceived in the same light. People usually see sadness as something that has a cause and perhaps letting her know that she is the cause will have an effect on her. Using different words when speaking to her may slowly change her perspective.

When it comes to your parents, well, parents do not usually understand sibling dynamics. They're fucking useless most of the time when it comes to problems specifically between siblings. It might be better if you say something like, "Her constant intrusions are affecting my school work. My grades are going to drop." Usually, parents respond more urgently if you say you education is affected - and it doesn't matter if it's true or not, we're just trying to get them to help in some way.

I had to remind them it's summertime lol

Oh shit, you're right. Er. Well, In any case, it seems you've tried having reasonable discussions with your parents and it doesn't seem helpful to continue discussing this particular topic with them. Maybe get into fitness since it's summertime. Go outside, do something active. She can't cuddle you if you're running, right? Then you can also be stronger and feeling better physically improves mental health. Put some music on, go hiking or running, take yourself out of the situation.

I don't know if this is possible, but perhaps if you're experiencing a mental breakdown and you're afraid of hurting your family, run out of the house? It might be better to be physically away from them at that time to avoid saying or doing anything you regret. It may help clear your head and help your family realize that this is something that is truly debilitating to you.

I don't know your age, so I don't know if the school thing is relevant. It's only a suggestion.

You said it will be a while before you can live on your own. When I knew the cons of living with my family outweighed the pros, I did everything in my power to prepare myself for leaving because I needed a goal in order to survive. I needed distractions, reading, writing, gaming, music, anything else to occupy my mind and help control my thoughts. There was a time when I needed music to fall asleep (headphones in on low volume).

Also... uh.

I'm not saying you should do this. I'm only saying I did.

My siblings and I have physically fought before. One has scars from fighting me. The scarred one is the one closest to me currently.

Not saying you should do it.

But I did.

If anyone feels comfortable enough to share how they dealt with it in their own situation, please do. Maybe more perspectives can help this person.

some other experiences sent to me:

anon #1

I don't think I had a situation that extreme but my brother was a little like that. I honestly had to become kinda rude and indifferent. Like he'd always use my laptop and stuff and I put passwords on everything and just don't tell him. And then when he tried to hug or cuddle id say I don't liek it and just push him away physically now this soudns fucking obvious when I say it this way but like I don't think I read that u tried it ? Idk I discovered I have a loud annoying scream that neighbours will hear, and fucking strokg legs I used to kick him away but like I was tiny so I don't really endorse violence but I didnt like being close to a 'boy' essentially at taht age so yea... Idk man siblings are weird and I have had intrusive thoughts so I think I didn't handle it well but for a few years I became an asshole to him and then now I'm good with talking sometimes and I keep it short and sweet and I've mentioned that I'm sorry for being mean in the past bcuz like I am ? Bcuz I'm not an asshole ? ( But like I did what I had to do ) I hope u get the help and support u need

anon #2

I read the message from the previous anon and I have to say I relate to what they say. I wouldn’t say i’ve completely dealt with the situation when it comes to my parents.

I have 4 siblings and i’m the oldest, my sister that’s 2 years younger than me always gets in my way and is a tyrant. Because she’s much taller than me she overpowers me and i also have scars from when we’ve fought. My parents don’t intervene because they say we’ll make up soon and I honestly can’t stay mad at people for long. I also live with my parents and am not able to move out anytime soon until I get my degree.

A few weeks ago my mother was complaining to my father that I don’t help around the house and all that bullshit but it’s obviously not true. Anyway. My father came into my room and threw all my clothes from my cupboards on the floor and said my sister and I must get out of his house. He was literally pulling us and we were crying because where the hell would we go. My smaller siblings were begging for him not to chase us out of the house but he was ballistic. He was constantly throwing insults at me, calling me selfish and disrespectful. I was having a mental breakdown and I said i hope that God takes my life away because i’m too weak to do it myself. I kept saying that and when my parents heard me. They called me crazy and were laughing at me and said i should take it back because instead of me another one of my family members would go.

My parents don’t care about mental health and therapy. It’s all unnecessary to them. But after that night I tried to find my own way of getting rid of the negative thoughts, I choose to ignore what everyone tells me. I agree with everything that you said about trying to get away from their family when they have those thoughts. I try meditation and praying. I’m not sure if that person follows any religion but that’s what helped me. And writing can be cathartic. Also remember that you’re not alone, there are so many people out there who share your sorrows and can relate to your situation. I think about my little siblings who i’m close to and what it would be like if i wasn’t there.

Maybe if they could get a pet? I know having a pet can make you feel less alone and you feel a sense of responsibility towards them. As for their sister, she needs to see their point of view and tell her that she makes her feel overwhelmed with the things she does. She can spend time with her and try to make her understand that they need their space too.

anon #3

I also have sum advice 4 the sibling anon frm a fellow bpd buddy:

Does ur view of ur sister change from "i hate her" to "she's alright" sometimes? Viewing sum1 as all bad or all good is common in bpd ppl and usually changes alot. I rec writing down the moments where she shows she loves u. This could be thru buying smth for u or doing smth 4 u. I had a similar relationship w a friend and this exercise helped me remember that she might not have intentions to hurt me and might b trying 2 bond. Repairing the relationship might take a while. Talk alot if u can, it seems like ur family is at least willing to hear u out, even if there behavior doesn't change much. Keep sum distance if needed. Working out and finding fun hobbies is good.

If u feel like ur breaking down, try breathing exercises n identify 5 things u notice thru ur senses. What do u feel? What do u smell? What do u taste? What do u see? What do u hear? I personally like taking myself down rabbit holes. For example: I see a yellow jacket > this shade of yellow is a cool tone > what makes a color "cool" or "warm" > why do we associate red with warmth > what if the sun was blue > what if ocean water looked orange > is water wet

I usually end up forgetting what was making me upset. If it was a big deal I would still remember, but at least I would b less emotional and a bit more rational.

Search up cognitive behavior therapy and dialectical behavior therapy and try 2 practice sumthing similar 2 exercises u would perform w a therapist. Squeeze stress balls. Masturbate (this blog is perfect 4 that lol). Maybe watch some videos done by therapists on youtube. I watched a couple of videos abt therapists reacting 2 fighting in movies and I learned alot (this video was very fun to watch)!

Anyway that's what helps me! Good luck 2 u!!!

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theladysexpistol · 4 years

Note

How would La Squadra react to their new teammate sent by Diavolo being a child around 10-12 years old who were raised, trained and experimented on to become a weapon to the point of losing all emotions ? Said child also have ice powers like Ghiaccio (from the experiments) and a Stand that can heal btw.

Hmm very interesting scenario my friend. It’s certainly something I could see Diavolo doing if he thought it benefitted him enough.

~~~

So there are like no gifs of la Squadra all together I’m just gonna start using ones I feel are most relevant. Here is angry ice boy

- The idea I thought of when I saw that was its kinda like healing ice? Maybe Diavolo found a child Stand user who could heal and was basically like that’s nice, let’s see if I can tamper with their psyche and change their Stand to make them essentially the best kind of Stand user (like Josuke and Giorno)

- He then was like hmm what’s the best way to teach this child how to murder? I’ll give them to La Squadra Esecuzione

- I called their Stand “Doll House” because I wanted to copy Ghiaccio’s Beatles reference

Risotto

- Obviously follows his boss’s orders but doesn’t get it. Why is there a child? Why do they have to train it?

- Begrudgingly assigns Ghiaccio to the child, even though Ris knows he’s going to bellyache the entire time. It just makes sense, why would he have anyone else train them when they literally have like almost the same abilities.

- Risotto thinks at first he doesn’t care if the child dies. He is wrong.

- He is very calculating and composed most of the time. Seeing this child have a similar personality to him is somewhat unsettling.

- Eventually the child offhandedly mentions the ice abilities of their Stand came after they were experimented on. It was probably by Cioccolata too 😞 Ris finds himself uncharacteristically angry

- He’s been plotting their betrayal for two years now, after Sorbet and Gelato were killed. At first Ris thought the child might have been a spy sent from the boss. Now it doesn’t matter. The boss needs to pay for all the horrible things he’s done.

Formaggio

- Is extremely happy at first because he thinks the child is gonna have a weak stand, and his teammates will stop pestering him. Child turns out to be a prodigy and he is now mocked even more.

- The child is at least respectful to him, so he can’t really be angry.

- He’s an animated, and easily concerned guy. Formaggio is bothered by the child’s coldness almost immediately.

- Gets into a lot of street fights and the kid ends up having to use Doll House to heal him a lot. Formaggio usually says he’s giving them practice with their Stand when they call him dumb because he keeps getting into fights. That’s his only comeback.

- He was the one who found Sorbet’s (? The blonde one) body, he didn’t need any more reason to hate the boss. But knowing the child could have at least one point been laughing and smiling like a normal kid... he’s like a big brother to them, and he’s pissed about it

Illuso

- Is offended at first. He hates the boss. Why would he send them a literal child to look after. They’re hitmen not babysitters

- Then he witnesses the child use their ice to kill someone without even batting an eye. Oh. That is why the child was sent to them.

- He tries mess with them in order to get them to crack a smile or laugh. Pranks, mirror tricks, the like. Similar to Formaggio the coldness freaks him out

- This is gonna become a joke on my blog I feel it coming bcuz I’ve already said how I’m kinda into Illuso a little but again, if he had this child with him he absolutely would’ve won against Giorno, Abbacchio, and Fugo.

Prosciutto

- Prosciutto instinctively takes on a parenting role with the child.

- They like him because he takes care of them, but also doesn’t talk down to them like some of the other members.

- Prosciutto is glad he doesn’t ever have to worry about hurting the child when using his Stand like he does with Pesci. In fact they can prevent his Stand from affecting Pesci too.

- Ris tells him first when he learns about what the boss did, and Prosciutto is fills with a righteous fury only rivaled by mothers attending PTA meetings.

- You better believe Prosciutto is protecting the fuck out of that child when La Squadra betrays Passione

Pesci

- Feels a sibling kinship with the child, even if they aren’t very emotional. They appreciate Pesci for his gentleness, it’s unlike anything they’ve ever experienced

- The child will maybe crack a smile or two around Pesci.

- They are very protective of Pesci and don’t like when other members make fun of him. The only one who can talk harshly to Pesci is Prosciutto because they know Prosciutto does it for Pesci’s own good

- Will heal Pesci with Doll House before anyone else

Melone

- Everyone knows Melone is weird and deals with it but they keep his interaction with the child to a minimum

- That being said Melone is absolutely fascinated with the child when he learns they were experimented on. Like not in a creepy way surprisingly. I imagine he has bad blood with Cioccolata and that’s mostly why

- The kid thinks Melone is weird and that his Stand takes too long to work but will ask him questions about things, since Melone is a pretty good teacher

- When he learns from Ris that the boss ordered whatever happened to them, he’s completely convinced that they need to take the boss down

Ghiaccio

- Instantly hates the kid

- Risotto makes him train it anyway. Very, very angry Ghiaccio

- The kid makes an offhanded comment about the irony of the ice guy being a hothead. Angrier Ghiaccio

- The thing that cools him down is seeing how good the child is at manipulating ice. He impressed but still angry and accuses Risotto of trying to replace him

- It takes a long time and a lot of their training, but Ghiaccio will eventually warm up to the child. He doesn’t strike me as the parenting type for obvious (anger) reasons but I still think he would try to be a father figure for the kid once he becomes incredibly protective of them

- Will try to replace Prosciutto but that’s just not gonna happen

- Blows his fucking top when he realizes the child was manipulated and experimented on in order to get the ice side of their powers. He’s going to personally murder the boss, he says.

#bree writes #jojo headcanons #la squadra #vento aureo #risotto nero #formaggio #illuso #prosciutto #melone #ghiaccio #oc stand user

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ibelieveinahappilyeverafter · 5 years

Text

Alright, everyone, this is a personal post as much as it’s a public post so feel free to scroll all the way down to the colored text for the public part of the message but if you, like me, enjoy drama, then continue on!

So, to make a very, very, very long story short for those who don’t know, I call my birth mother Mother Gothel due to her emotionally abusive upbringing of me that caused me to suffer from severe depression, anxiety, and even hair loss! A few years ago, back in 2016, my friend-turned-sister drove down with her mother, packed me and my bags up, and gave me a place to live and start over where I’ve been able to get jobs, go to school, and become much healthier than I used to be!

During those years of growth and recovery, however, I kept in contact with Gothel through emails and the occasional phone call. Over the years, from the safety of being hundreds of miles away, I told her that I was gay and dating a girl. The resulting emails were not pleasant and she had no problems about calling my girlfriend a whore. Lovely, right?

Every email she has sent me has contained detailed bible quotes and scripture and needles of guilt over everything I’m doing “wrong.” She’s still “so proud of me,” however. So at least there’s that, right?

As of recently I emailed her and told her that I will be attending a four-year university in Tacoma Washington (moving away from Illinois) to continue my education. Her resulting email was lengthy. Here is some of it - cut for length.

Hi Michelle.

...

You have to watch everything you say this day and time, at least that is what Jesus said in the Book of Matthew 5:37-- "Let your Yes be Yes, and let your No be No. Anything else is from the evil one." (anotherwords the devil will take your words you speak and trip and mess you up land you in jail or prison for 10 yrs)That would be really sad after you work so hard for an education and degrees then let him mess you up but read in John 10:10--the enemy comes to steal--kill--destroy--but Jesus said I have come so that you may have life and have it more abundantly. That is why Jesus said in Proverbs 18:21" Life and death are in the power of the tongue"

...

I was telling Mom on the phone just this morning we talked for two hours-- that I was going to get a restaurant job here as soon as possible and let it move me out of here--I am moveing to Battle Creek or Marshall by Sept (labor day) and that I was sooo excited that I would finally get to see you, she said either her or Carl would drive me to [REDACTED] every now and then to see you. So Yes, I feel like a bomb was just dropped on me, my heart is broken, however I hope you will be happy and I wish you well in body and spirit-- I wish you nothing but the best. Just know one thing is for sure, I read my Bible and I will tell you right now, we are living in our last days you need to be concerned about where you are going to spend eternity. I just finished up reading the book of Matthew. In Matthew 21:25 The Heading Reads: "The Coming of the Son of Man" vs 25- And their will be signs in the Sun, the Moon, the Stars--mens hearts will fail them for fear and the expectation of those things which are coming on the earth, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken. vs 27--THEN they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with Power and Great Glory. Now when these things begin to happen, look up and list up your heads, because your redemption draws near". Jesus said He would give us signs in the Heavens above and the earth beaneath. All of the earthquakes that have been happening for the last decade leading up to the Austrailian wildfires, and billions of animals died, God is giving us the signs, its just like He said in Matthew 24:36-44.

Lastly, 1 Thessalonians 4 :13--But I do not want you to be ignorant brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God wil bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from Heaven With A SHOUT--with the voice of an archangel, and with the Trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rist first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord, Therefore Comfort one another with these words.

After the Rapture, then comes the tribulation. I have read Revelation many times and to say the least you don't want to be left behind. In Heaven their will be 30 mins of silence that is when all Hell breaks loose down here. Just whatever you do, Do NOT take the mark of the beast if you do, then you will mark your soul for eternal damnation. Then you will hear the devil say----"Hello! Welcome to Hell!

I am saying all of this bcuz now you have a choice to live for God or for Satan. If something should happen to your body or God forbid but if someone tries to take your life or you get in an accident and your heart is not right with God--That is exactly how you will stand at the Judgement Bar. The minute you take your last breath in this body, you will be ushered into the presence of God then it is too late to make a decision there it is if the Angel does not find your name in the Book of Life, then the devil stands there waiting to escourt you to------Well lets just say---You Don't want to go there. But the Bible says you will answer for every deed done in the body good and bad.I know one thing, it can't be too much longer according to scripture. The greatest tool the enemy uses from his toolbox is that you have plenty of time--well I can say the devil is a liar cuz Jesus just says--Be Ready it is not up to us how long we get to stay down here, that is God's calling.Second Timothy 3----But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of truth.

Sister, we are living in our last days, make every day that God gives you breath in your body count bcuz you don't know when it will be your last day. There is pleasure in sin for a season--Hebrews 11:24. Whatever you do, don't let the devil take your life and your soul, it is not worth it.

Love You So Much and want to make sure your soul doesn't go to H---. I am praying that you will have a preacher as a husband.I miss you Michelle, I miss hugging you, I miss walking up those stairs to bring your meals to you I would LOVE to hug you just one more time. That may or may not happen before He Returns ony God knows this.Please write me back when you can, you are always on my heart and mind. I have made mistakes while we were all living at 2414, I am so very sorry I pray that you forgive me if I have offended you please forgive me, I thought I had it all together. But now I see, I was just messed up and made lots of wrong choices, but God came along with His Holy broom and cleaned up my mess and said to move on. I am so glad when He forgives our sins, He forgets never no more to be remembered. All I can say is ---Thank-you Jesus.

...

Love You Forever my dearest Daughter and Friend.

This is the average email from her and I’ve been told that it’s not normal to receive emails this long talking about how she’s ‘devastated’ by my choices and how the world is going to end in hellfire soon. Please allow me, however, to show the email she immediately sent after the above.

[T]acoma is Washington's most dangerous city, with a violent crime rate of 953 incidents per 100,000 residents. While this is a relatively high rate — the 96th worst in the country — the city's incidence of property crime stands out even more. ... Indeed, the city had the country's 15th highest property crime rate in 2016

The overall crime rate in Tacoma is 138% higher than the national average. For every 100,000 people, there are 16.81 daily crimes that occur in Tacoma. Tacoma is safer than 3% of the cities in the United States. In Tacoma you have a 1 in 17 chance of becoming a victim of any crime.

Have you done the research for this city?They said Tacoma is the most violent city in Washington,I love you and want you to be happy. There are sooo many universities with the same opportunities.

How would you get around, does your friend drive? I did see how beautiful the area is but you just have to be careful I guess everywhere you go.

As you can see, she immediately invalidates my choice - something I was very truly wonderfully excited about - and sends me a message that triggers my anxiety. I should note that she did not allow me out of the house without her even when I was an adult and over 18. If I went somewhere she had to be there with me.

Ah, but now we come to today and the email that spurred this post to creation. The above emails were sent two days ago and I have yet to respond. The email below was sent just today.

Hi Michelle.

While I cannot apologize for what I said, It was not my intention to offend you in any way. I just went to google and typed in most dangerous city in the state of Washington and Tacoma popped up, that is out of 100 cities in the state.Okay, I know you say you have been there and all and you are no match for all of the evil there. God forbid, should something happen to you--you would be just another name and another number to them there is no much evil there they can't control it, I say to you just watch on a daily basis all of the crime that goes on in that sin city.

You better be praying about this cuz I don't think God would want you to put yourself in harms way--make a wiser choice, and God will bless you for it.Look at what happened to kobe bryant incident.... they met a very bad situation face to face and of course their was no way they could turn that around. My whole point of conversation.....sure you can do what you want bcuz you are an adult grown woman, but I would strongly advise you to pray to God about it and make a wise choice here, your life and future depends on right choices you make now.

What about University of Michigan in Ann Arbor or East Lansing University, Michigan University Kalamazoo, they are on the ten universities in Michigan. You need to reconsider your decision and think about your resourses you can get more help from family bcuz I have all kinds of family up there and I will be up there soon. You are no match for Tacoma Washington. I only say this bcuz you are my daughter and I don't want something really bad come out of this just bcuz you are trying to get an education behind you--this calls for wise decisions.

You may never speak to me again, but I just want to inform you that you need to be very very cautious here.

Love You Forever.

...

“You may never speak to me again.”

...

This is the last email I have read from her and it will remain the last email I will ever read from her. I also will not be sending her any emails ever again because you know what?

Her scared, anxious daughter Michelle Jean Anderson died and I’m what’s left - and I’m sick of her shit.

So, hello, everybody! My name is Andy Alex Anderson and my pronouns are he/him (or they/them if you panic and forget) and it’s a pleasure to meet you!

#everafterupdates #everafterrambles #original #welp okay this is poste dit's on the internet forever now #haaaa #okay #long post

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nnq · 5 years

Text

modern!au k(lance)

they're all in their 20's except for Shiro who's 30 and coran who's 50

first of all. miss me with that 'pining roommate' shit. I love miscommunication and making characters that r sexy bffs with one another

Lance meets Nyma through a Craigslist ad he put up saying he needed a roommate. the moment they met was a tragedy for everyone but them because they're that powerful and beautiful

lance with tousled hair, wearing a half-unbuttoned silk shirt and designer jeans, Michael kors sunglasses pushed up atop his head, arm wrapped around nyma: hi guys this is my roommate, nyma!

nyma, with her blonde 3-ft long box braids down her back, perfectly manicured red nails, bodycon dress and loubitons, hand on lances waist: hey

allura, shaking and on the verge of tears: STOP MAKING US LOOK POOR AND UGLY

Lance is in school for marine biology and Nyma works as a hairdresser and the both of them are small beauty gurus on YouTube that collab with one another

lance: hey guys we're going to be trying out the new anastasia pallete we got today :)!

nyma: and by got we mean shoplifted from sephora

lance: NYMA YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT

they're also insta baddies and both gender non-conforming baddies. Nyma is a nonbinary lesbian icon and lance is a nonbinary bicon.... those are like the fucking BEST senses of style

anyone with eyes can see that nyma is into and ONLY into girls but of course... heteronormativity.

rolo: I still don't get why you're dating lance. he's super annoying.

nyma: he doesn't bitch nearly as much as you even when he's got my cock in his ass

they do this thing where when people assume they're a couple they pretend they're some kind of kink couple and freak everyone out

which is why when hunk and pidge meet nyma they're like :eyes: but when nyma flirts with pidge lance doesn't even bat an eye and then lance starts pining about Keith's greasy mullet and his bags under his eyes and nymas got this look on her face that perfectly resembles a man who's lost all sense of normalcy and righteousness in his life and now sits in a bar every night listening to this dumb romance novel type shit and then pidge and hunk are like. oh. no they're just gay.

speaking of keith. he's one of those gays. one of the quirky emo gays that never sleeps and listens to 'coffee and cigarettes' on repeat and has like 3 strings of lights in his room and not only is an art major but ALSO a photographer. and yet somehow he still has the will to wake up at 5 am every morning and go to the gym like some kind of HEATHEN.

Lance knew Keith in high school for 3 years until he got expelled for fighting at the end of his junior year. He was also universally crushed on and was the bad boy jock of the school with a heart of gold so naturally Lance pretended to despise him so he could pine for him in peace

that all goes down the drain when Lance recognizes Keith in one of his classes and goes through the five stages of grief because a) he's hot and b) Lance is openly bi now so he doesn't have an escuse to not tolerate him

(He wasn't gonna do anything about it until he was put in a group with Keith a few weeks into class and he off handedly mentioned he went to Keiths high school, and Keith claimed he didn't remember him, and Lance was just a tad bit upset but was gonna leave it at that except after like 5 days of working together Keith slams his fists into the table and is like 'HOLY FUCK LANCE MCCLAIN?' And Lance is like. w. What.)

turns out Keith does remember lance. very vividly, actually. because he was the guy that everyone kind of had a crush on because he was so nice and charming to everyone he met, and Keith was SO gone for him. he just didn't recognize him tbh, which makes sense, bcuz in high school lance wore blue contacts and had straight hair and now he just wears glasses occasionally and leaves his hair wavy. Keith is gay and stupid don't blame him

keith, bursting into Shiro and Adams apartment at 2 pm: SHIRO HOLY FUCK

adam, bags under his eyes, underneath the covers of him and shiros bed: good fucking god not again

I'm tired of talking about ppl other than Lance and nyma though so I'm gonna talk about them for a bit because im love

as I said Lance has wavy hair and his actual eye color is brown but as he was growing up he was hella insecure about it that's why he wore blue contacts.... nyma caught him once trying to put them on again and put an end to All That Real Quick

nyma has brown eyes too and they're super dark, almost black, and that shits breathtaking bro. she usually has her real hair dyed blonde all the time and permed but she also likes to wear wigs and get braids too because she knows she looks damn good in them. everyone is jealous.

lance has tons of super light freckles. Enough said. nyma has a birthmark on her hip that's kind of shaped like a horse if you look at it from the right way

lance: you were a horse girl as a kid weren't u

nyma: how fucking dare. how fucking dare you say that. I really do have to laugh.......

nyma: obviously I was a warrior cats stan

lance's sense of fashion ranges from 'i went to California for a week once and now I can't stop wearing sweatpants and slides' to 'It's surprising I haven't gotten robbed at this point'. Lance is a scholarship baby so all the money he saved up through countless jobs and the one he already has at a coffee shop almost exclusively goes to clothes and kombucha

Nymas sense of style is definitely more on the eccentric side but since she looks good in EVERYTHING she gets away with it. think dollskill but with more neon colors and designer. she's the kind of person that never wears the same shade of lipstick for a whole month and has a box full of makeup palletes that are almost untouched and everyone who has seen it is both jealous and in wonder FENTYWAYS...

Keith goes over to lance's apartment for a project of sorts and immediately assumes that Lance and Nyma are a thing (they're very platonically affectionate, Nyma will kiss lance's cheek and they cuddle sometimes) which is disappointing but it's not a surprise considering Lance is so Lance and everyone else acts like they are dating so that must be the case, right?

lmao you thought.

nyma: holy shit. holy Fuck. God, allura is so hot. I would probably die if she brushed past me. I would die happily knowing I've been blessed by the touch of an angel.

lance: yeah haha she's really pretty.

keith, struggling to not choke on his coffee hearing All This at 9:31 A.M. in starbucks:

Keith asks if he can take photos of the two of them for his photography insta and they both jump on it so they can flex being sexy and afterwards Lance thanks him with a kiss on the cheek and Keith is sent REELING into gay mayhem.

lance: do you think that was like..... too much.

nyma: i think men are dumb that's what.

I mean u can't really blame Keith because Lance and Nyma are constantly joke-flirting with one another on social media and are in almost every one of the others photos in some way, or at least tagged, so by the time Keith actually works up the nerve to ask about that, it's been WEEKS since Lance kissed him and he's been miserably failing to ignore it

keith: so.... how's nyma doing?

lance: she's good! She's spent all day dying one of her wigs so she went for a coffee run lol. probably will hang with allura and shay later too

keith: and.... that doesn't make you jealous?

lance: LOL no.... they could never compete with me (talking about being Nyma's best friend)

keith: oh.... well, it's good that you trust each other a lot in your relationship.... you seem like a really good boyfriend

lance: wat the fuck did you just say.

as soon as lance explains that nyma is not his gf and they're just bffs Keith is like ohthankgod.jpg and almost accidentally asks lance on a date before he stops himself and is like.... dumb gay bitch calm DOOOWWWNN

after that it becomes very obvious that nyma and lance r just friends at least for Keith mostly through dumb shit they say to one another

lance, sitting with hunk, pidge, and Keith at the library: hey guys wanna see something cool.

pidge: go for it

lance, clearing his throat: she think she bad but I'm better, these bitches tryna play catch up-

nyma, coming out of nowhere: SHUT THE FUCK UP WHEN I'M TALKING LIL BITCH, PUT YO HEAD DOWN WHEN YOU TALK TO A PIMP-

Nyma and Lance have self-care nights every Friday, sometimes Allura or Shay will come, and very RARELY Keith if only to spend time with Lance. also? Allura and Shay are dating, die mad about it.

They do waxing, exfoliation, mud masks, moisturizing treatments, hair masks, painting nails.... need I go on. it's basically whatever they want to do that week and when Keith reluctantly agrees to participate one day Lance goes mental

lance: OK so here's what I'm thinking. it's obvious you haven't really had a self care day for a while, which is like, fine, you do you, but holy shit are your split ends bad. I was thinking maybe I could trim them and then we could do a hair mask? Oh! A face mask would be good as well, even though you've practically got perfect skin. I'd offer to wax but for first timers the pain is a bitch to handle on the face. I'm not sure if you'd be an acrylic kind of guy but I have some black nail polish that I could put on- wow, your hands are really big compared to mine, and they're so soft, haha, isn't that crazy? so what do you think?

keith, still reeling from the fact that lance is going to touch his hair, face, and hands in the next several hours: uh......yeah..... sounds great.

nyma, sitting on lance's bed in nothing but a bra and sweatpants, smoking a blunt and readjusting her sheet mask: *long exhale* christ

Shay got Lance into the whole healthy organic food thing and in turn he got Nyma into it so they're both the bitches who drink nothing but Fiji water and almond milk and will offer you a plate of sliced cucumbers and tomatoes as a snack. we Stan a vegan couple.

keith: these are actually really good.

nyma: we usually put them on our eyes, but go off I guess.

keith:

nyma: nah I'm just fucking with you, we have different cucumbers for that

by the end of the night Keith feels like he's been cleaned by a car wash and he's dizzy from all of lance's thoughtless affection and when lance says he can stay the night because it's already late, Keith mindlessly blurts out 'only if it's with you' and nymas like.... um. Wig.

keith, laying stiff as a board on one side of lance's bed: uh

lance: oh my God you gay bitch get over here and spoon me. also kiss me on the fucking lips bro.

Nyma owns a cat named Beezer that she stole from her old roommate (rolo) but calls her beebo because quote 'beezer is so fucking lame bro i hate men'. Lance owns a Russian blue mix called, you guessed it, Blue, that he found stuck in his apartments basement only a few days after moving in. Nyma and Lance are WEAK

lance: ohhhhh look at my pretty baby sitting on the table all cute and relaxed!!! look at that baby!!! fantastic stuff!

nyma, putting her head on beebos belly: You Are So Soft And So Chubby I Would Die For You

pidge would also die for the both of them

OK I'm tired and uninspired so I'll stop here but I MAY ADD MORE LATER

#klance #voltron #voltron tw #voltron au #lance #keith

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wheresmynaya · 6 years

Text

Two Ghosts Ch. 9 | Brittana

Happy Brittanaversary! (A little early bcuz timezones are weird) Thanks for everyone’s patience and kind reviews once again. Ya’ll are awesome. Enjoy!

Twenty-five minutes fly by and before Santana knows it, she’s heading onto the field. Brittany and Quinn are already there talking while the squad warms up and Santana feels like she could actually pass out from all the anticipation. She genuinely has no idea how Brittany will react, but she knows she has to reconcile. At least, for the sake of the squad.

Brittany’s back is to her when she walks up but Santana puts on her brave face and takes a deep breath, “Hey Q. Hey Brittany.”

Quinn smiles in greeting as usual and says, “Hey Santana.”

Brittany remains icy, her eyes focused ahead of her as she says, “I thought you’d be in New York by now.”

Quinn’s brow arches in question at Brittany’s tone and she looks to Santana for an explanation, but Santana remains focused on Brittany.

“Can we talk after practice?” Santana asks, forgoing responding Brittany’s snarky comment and dodging Quinn’s inquisitive eye.

Brittany just crosses her arms and continues to give Santana the cold shoulder.

Both of Quinn’s brows arch in question this time.

Santana does her best to ignore Quinn as she fights the urge to roll her eyes at Brittany; she forgot how stubborn and petty Brittany could be when she’s angry but she knew getting Brittany to talk wasn’t going to be easy.

“You can’t ignore me forever..” Santana mutters.

This time Brittany turns to her and dark blue eyes narrow in her direction. Brittany’s glare has Santana wanting to run for the hills, but the slight redness of Brittany’s eyes stops her.

“Why not? Just so you can tell me about my life that you clearly know so much about?” Brittany asks, “I’ll pass. I have nothing more to say to you.”

Santana falters as her heart sinks, she deserved that, but she’s determined to make things okay. She rather have the awkwardness of before than the anger and hurt it has been replaced with.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Santana replies but it sounds more like a plea, “You can just listen and if you don’t like what I have to say, you can just leave.”

Quinn eyes them both curiously but she notices that some of the girls on the squad have taken an interest as well.

“Looks like you need something to do,” Quinn tells the squad and gives them a glare, “Wind sprints, go!” The girls quickly disperse, and Quinn turns back to Santana and Brittany, “I don’t know what you two have going on but you can’t bring it here. You can’t let it affect how you coach. These are teenagers, they love drama, so if you want them in your business feel free to continue but we’re adults and we can be professional. Ultimately, we have a job to do so sort your shit.”

Santana looks to Brittany expectantly, “Please?”

Brittany frowns slightly but nods before looking to Santana a little less angrily, “I’ll give you ten minutes after practice.”

Santana smiles weakly, “Thank you.”

“Whatever,” Brittany shrugs then turns back to watch the squad.

Two hours have never gone by so slowly for Santana, but by the end of practice the tension is so high that even the squad tiptoes around them. When Quinn dismisses the girls for the day, they’re all too eager to get the hell out of there. Even Quinn packs her things quickly and barely gives Santana and Brittany a second glance before she’s saying a quick goodbye and heading to her car. It’s eerily quiet as Santana and Brittany pack their duffle bags, their backs to each other’s.

At the sound of Brittany zipping her duffle closed, Santana stands and takes a deep breath, “Bleachers?”

Brittany stands too and nods.

They walk together in silence, the gap between them even bigger than normal, but they settle on the first step and dump their bags at their feet. Santana’s heart pounds wildly as she tries to find the words to start.

She peeks at Brittany who’s staring out in the distance, the setting sun turning everything golden, and tries to remind herself that Brittany used to be the easiest person she could talk to. Once upon a time she could tell Brittany anything so freely. Whatever Santana had on her mind, Brittany was there to listen always.

Although things are extremely different now, the memory is comforting and it gives Santana the courage to speak.

“So I just wanted to talk about yesterday,” Santana starts and she eyes Brittany curiously for a reaction. When Brittany barely blinks, Santana isn’t surprised. She just takes another steadying breath and continues, “I wanted to apologize for how I acted. I was hurt and overwhelmed and, I don’t know, I guess a little jealous?”

Santana pauses because it’s the first time she has admitted that last part and she takes another peek at Brittany but she remains unmoved, “I said a lot of things that were way out of line and I shouldn’t have lost it at you like I did. It’s just, being back here brings back all these feelings and memories that I thought couldn’t affect me anymore. I thought I had moved on and I was doing better, but I guess not.”

Santana glances to her side but Brittany continues to focus her eyes elsewhere. She closes her eyes as her shoulders droop, “I’m just really sorry, Brittany. I’m sorry for the things I said and how I’ve been acting lately. I guess I just don’t know how to be around you yet, but that’s no excuse. I know things aren’t great between us and they’re not how they used to be and I know we may never go back to being us but I don’t want to be the kind of exes that can’t stand each other. Despite how things have turned out, I still care about you and I do want what’s best.” Santana pauses again and realizes that tears have gathered at the corners of her eyes. She swallows hard and lowers her eyes to her fiddling hands, “I may suck at showing it, I know, but I really do want you to be happy, Brittany.” From the corner of her eye, she sees Brittany glance her way but she chooses to keep her eyes lowered, “And what I’ve realized from being back, is that I’ve missed you so much, I’ve missed having you in my life,” Santana admits and finds the courage to meet Brittany’s eyes this time. Blue eyes flickering back and forth, searching, but Santana just smiles softly, “I’ve missed my best friend.”

At that, Brittany’s lips part and her bottom lip trembles ever so slightly but she quickly looks back out at the horizon like she’s trying to hide. Brittany doesn’t say anything and Santana can’t really blame her, so they just sit silently together looking out at the setting sun. The longer Brittany stays quiet, the further Santana’s heart plummets. She didn’t think of the outcome of this conversation; she didn’t think of the possibility that Brittany really doesn’t want anything more to do with her.

Santana nods, sort of accepting that could be a possibility, and looks out at the horizon too, “Maybe I’m too late, maybe too much time has passed and whatever we had between us can’t be fixed, but I hope one day we can try again: to be friends. Even if that means being supportive of your relationship with Trou- I mean, Sam. I can totally do that. If he is what makes you happy, I won’t get in the way of that. I won’t make another comment about his abnormally large mouth or anything, because I’m an adult and I can be nice.”

That causes Brittany to look at Santana again, but this time she’s fighting a grin.

Santana looks back, perplexed, “What? I can. I can be nice.”

Brittany just shakes her head, her smile growing, “As much as I would’ve loved to see that, Sam and I aren’t dating.”

Santana’s eyes widen, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Yeah,” Brittany says, “That’s not a thing. Hasn’t been for years.”

“B-but you guys were-“ Santana stops herself as she tries to recall solid evidence, “At the funeral together?”

“I didn’t really want to go alone,” Brittany shrugs, “Funerals are weird. Everyone’s sad but we all sort of hated Sue at some point and now we all talk about how great she was, it’s just really weird.”

Santana’s brows furrow and she racks her brain for more proof, “He’s always around after practice? He waits for you..”

“He’s a part time personal trainer,” Brittany replies easily, “We work out together sometimes. I get a free gym membership, it’s pretty awesome. They can get so expensive.”

Santana lets out a sigh as she cradles her head in her hands, “I feel like such an asshole.”

“So you should.” Brittany smirks but it quickly fades to a frown, “You said a lot of hurtful things, Santana, things I never would’ve thought you’d say to me of all people.”

“I know,” Santana admits guiltily, “I was just so..” Santana pauses and closes her eyes to keep from crying, “It doesn’t matter, it’s no excuse.”

After a moment, Brittany purses her lips and says softly, “You didn’t even let me explain. You just attacked.”

If Santana wasn’t feeling guilty before, the feeling has worsened now. All she does is shake her head, “I’m so sorry, Brittany. I-I had no idea, I just..I thought-

“No, you didn’t think. You assumed.” Brittany clarifies but her tone isn’t filled with annoyance. She just speaks simply, “I shouldn’t have to explain my friendship with Sam though, that’s the worst part, you came up with this story in your head and you ran with it. I couldn’t even defend myself and what hurts the most is that you actually thought I’d settle for Sam.”

Santana looks up at Brittany but there isn’t anger in her eyes.

“He’s a great guy. He made me laugh at times when I didn’t think I could. He was there for me when things got hard and I love him for that.” Brittany explains and Santana tenses at the word love because she’s not ready for what Brittany has to say about him, “But I wasn’t in love with him. I figured that out early on and I knew it wouldn’t be fair to either of us to continue if I wasn’t fully invested in our relationship. I knew I wasn’t out of love yet but I knew I wasn’t ready to be in love with anyone else yet either. So we’ve just stayed friends over the years and that’s all.” Brittany pauses as she eyes Santana, trying to decipher her facial expression, but not even Santana knows how she feels about all this new information. She can’t believe how quickly she jumped to conclusions and she remembers how hurt Brittany looked yesterday and how she felt like she was about to go off on her but didn’t.

“Was that what you were going to say yesterday? Before you left?” Santana asks tentatively, “That you weren’t together?”

Brittany sighs and looks up to the sky as she nods, “I thought about telling you the truth, but I didn’t think it mattered anymore. You had your mind made up about me already so what was the point of explaining anything?”

All Santana manages to mutter is, “Oh.”

“I really wanted to tell you as soon as he and I broke up.” Brittany looks back to Santana, “That was two weeks after you left for New York.”

Santana just blinks, completely stunned, “Why didn’t you then?”

Brittany just looks down at her feet and shrugs.

Santana’s lips just part, but nothing comes out.

“If I would’ve told you, you would’ve turned around and come home.” Brittany explains and Santana finds herself tensing at the word home too. She hasn’t felt like she had a home in awhile, even Lima doesn’t feel like home anymore. “But I couldn’t do that. I wasn’t ready, I hadn’t even graduated, and I couldn’t hold you back from moving forward. We were at two different places in life and I couldn’t be the reason you had to stay. When I told you that you had to be somewhere as big and bright as you are, I meant it. I couldn’t turn around and say wait for me. It wouldn’t be right.”

“Brittany,” Santana mumbles in disbelief, “You should’ve told me..I-I could’ve, I don’t know, I could’ve done something. I could’ve helped.”

The corner of Brittany’s mouth quirks up in a grin but her eyes are show anything but happiness, “That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. I knew you’d drop everything for me and I couldn’t let you do that. I had to do this on my own. I had to learn how to be without you just like you had to learn how to be without me.”

Santana’s heart plummets again and a lump forms in her throat, “That wasn’t your decision to make.”

Brittany nods solemnly, “I know and I’m sorry for that, but I did and I can’t take that back now. I know you think that everything’s your fault and you have this urge to fix things, but this isn’t all on you, Santana. It’s on me too, I am also to blame.”

Santana just bites her bottom lip to will herself not to cry.

“I’d try to call but I never knew what to say so I never went through with it.” Brittany adds, “I didn’t want to be a reminder for you of this place. I didn’t want you to feel guilty or pity me, I didn’t want you to worry. You were finding your way already and I was still stuck at the starting line and I didn’t want you to feel sorry for me. But I told myself if you would’ve ever called, I’d take that as a sign that you’d still want me around and I’d answer. I knew that was silly though so I just kept telling myself I’d call you when I was ready instead, but..” Brittany pauses as her eyes well, “As you can see, I’m still stuck here so..”

Santana’s lips part but she doesn’t know what to say. She hates this side of Brittany because it seems so out of place; sometimes she forgets that Brittany can be just as small and insecure. But she can’t help but feel guilty for leaving Brittany alone in all this, even though Brittany says she shouldn’t. She’s always been Brittany’s protector, she has always looked out for her growing up, so maybe Brittany’s right. Santana had to go so Brittany could learn to be her own protector?

“I just studied hard so I could graduate and I worked on myself so that maybe I could catch up to you, and I tried to make it out of here but,” Brittany pauses again as her voice cracks. Santana wonders if she’s talking about her time at MIT since she’s yet to hear about it from Brittany herself. “It was hard. We both let too much time pass. I let too much time pass and now we’re here, just two strangers..ghosts.”

Santana heart aches for Brittany because she can hear the pain and she can’t imagine what it was like for Brittany to push through alone. She has missed so much and she wonders if she’ll ever catch up on those years, but she also decides Brittany is worth the wait. It’s sort of eye opening to know what Brittany has thought this whole time and how she’s been hurting just as much and all of this could’ve totally been avoided if either of them would’ve just picked up the phone. In a way, they both cared so deeply for each other, trying to make the right decisions for one another, that it all backfired and they ended up doing more harm than good.

They sit silently, both focused on how the sun hides behind the tree line. Brittany remains quiet and Santana just processes everything Brittany has said and she wonders how they ended up like this: two strangers sitting on a bench filled with regret and guilt.

“I can’t change the past, but I hope you know how sorry I am.” Santana says finally.

Brittany just sniffles and nods, “I do and I’m sorry too. I hate that we’re like this, like we don’t know how to be around each other. It sucks.”

Santana chuckles a little, “It does.” Then she wonders aloud, “So what do we do now?”

Brittany ponders a moment but then she turns to Santana and smiles, eyes watery and red, “Maybe we can start over?”

Santana smiles back, “That sounds like an awesome idea.” She then holds out her pinky to Brittany, a gesture that used to come so easily for them, and asks hesitantly, “Deal?”

Brittany takes Santana’s pinky in hers and nods confidently, “Deal.”

#brittanas4thyear #two ghosts #brittana #santana lopez #brittany pierce #fics #fanfics

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spiicemarket · 7 years

Note

idk if you are still doing this, but im evil so for the ask thing: 1-65

UGH SOMEONE ALWAYS DOES THIS whatevs nonny ty for the ask also i did some of these already but imma just do em again cuz im basically a new person than yesterday. under the cuttt

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? i honestly have no idea what this means so.. no?

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? unreasonably.

3. The person you would never want to meet? hitler

4. What is your favorite word? *moist*

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? the one rotting from the inside out

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? “wow look im wearing boots with heels 2day im so tall”

7. What shirt are you wearing? a plain black t shirt

8. What do you label yourself as? an annoying female

9. Bright room or dark room? dark but i want a pastel one

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? trying to sleep and failing

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? i rlly enjoyed being 6 actually

12. Who told you they loved you last? probably my mom lmao

13. Your worst enemy? hitler

14. What is your current desktop picture? the one that comes with the laptop lolol

15. Do you like someone? i mean i like people (some of them) but i dont have a crush on anyone fjekomd

16. The last song you listened to? sippy cup by melanie martinez

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? nobody id rather push them off a cliff

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? umm the kid that calls me fat at recess lolol

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? hmm my brother and i would basically just make him bring me chickfila

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) hmm i like my hair its really long and

t h i c c

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? umm i would just look like myself with short hair and less chubby cheeks lol

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? i took hula dance class for 4 years

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? burning to death

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. okay i would have a sub with ham+lettuce+extraextraextra pickles+ pepper + oil + vinegar and thats it lol im v picky

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? parenthood pack and dine out pack

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? England!

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? apple juice plz

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? everyone is equal is society BUT there are representatives so like people dont have to vote for everything

29. What is your favorite expletive? bitch

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? laptop man

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? idk man i dont wanna erase any of my memories bcuz thats what builds me as a person.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! England!

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? My grandfather but only if he wasn’t sick anymore because I never got to know him even though he was around until i was 10.

34. What was your last dream about? i was in a quidditch game.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? simblr? cuz no lmao

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? yes once but i also went to urgent care when i broke my arm so idk if that counts

37. Have you ever built a snowman? no

38. What is the color of your socks? not wearing any

39. What type of music do you like? pop/alternative like melanie martinez

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunsets because it gets cooler

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? oreo mint

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) um green bay packers cuz thats what my family likes but i dont like sports..

43. Do you have any scars? nah

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? photographer but that aint happening so lawyer..?

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? i push people away because i cant talk about my feelings to them

46. Are you reliable? what like, a secret because yesssss but if it means not being late to something then lol no

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? whats ur follower count? LOL IM JUST KIDDING DONT COME FOR ME

48. Do you hold grudges? yes literally all the time

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? a cat-corgi

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? one time i spent a solid ten minutes debating with my step sister about whether or not my dog was a good boi

THE ANSWERS YES

51. Are you a good liar? no (or maybe thats a good lie????????????? the real answers yes lol)

52. How long could you go without talking? approximately 2 seconds

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? i had bangs when i was little

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? nope

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? nope

56. What do you like on your toast? dont like toast

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? my teachers making us draw a poppy :(

58. What would be you dream car? a hybrid

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. LMAO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME FOR THAT I HAVE 50 POUNDS OF HAIR

60. Do you believe in aliens? sometimes my step dad says he was abducted when he was 11

61. Do you often read your horoscope? nope

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? omega

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? dragons OBVI (mostly cuz harry potter)

64. What do you think about babies? adorable

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. THE ANON DIDNT ASK SO ILL TELL A STORY:

one time i fell out of a shopping cart and broke my arm

the end

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youngtragedynutcase-blog · 7 years

Text

TRAG

y do i hate this so much? I knew it from the start. A man like him? Hmm i know im not perfect i made a loooot of mistakes just like him and everyone else. And when he fks it up, we argue but eventually i forgive. It goes on and on and on and i never stopped forgiving him. I never held any grudges against him. Like y should i since i saw him as my future dude. Hes done really very sweet things for me that i can CLEARLY rmb. We argued a lot also that i do rmb too. But none of that mattered to me bcuz my love for him empowered(?idk correct word) everything. I was so naive and dumb. There he is talking about fairness but is he really fair? He wants me to treat him like how i treat ny friends or even better, can but does he do thar with me? NO. so wheres the fairness? Hes done a lot of wrong to make me the person i am today and even after that i still forgive. Yet when i fk up a bit thatd when he runs away telling people he cannot take it and shit. Then ehat about me??? When i haf to handle all the shits he threw at me. How he was when his exes left him. He was destroyed. I tried my fking best to fix him. To take initiative and to love and care for him. Has he ever noticed that??? Is thos alw about me fking up and what about the good shit i did? I begged him stay. Din have enough sleep bcuz i was happy and nervous to travel down to his house which cost me fking 30bucks to entering into his house singing in the toilet sooo happily. Anf when he came out he just kissed me like ntg was wrong??? How can he act so fine? Does he not care at all? For his bday i booked a hotel for us both, i ordered his wallet bcuz hes very picky about it and almost got the shoes he admired which cost more than 100+. I even intend to lie to my mum justso i could br with him yet this guy is so fkinf ungrateful? So unappreciative. He tells me his exes all never really cared much about him or were willing to go thru anuthing for him. BUT LOOK AT WHAT I HAD TO GO THRU YET HE STILL DUMPEF ME FOR WHAT? “Breaking the promise” or “not being appreciative” or “being unfair” wth I get scoldings just so i can meet u, i try my best to save cause i know i want a future with u, i lie to my parents every now n then, i sneak out of my house even tho i know i willget caught just to be by ur side, whrn u no money its not like i dont buy u things at all. Im not selfish with my money. When ure sad, angry or wtv im alw there. Even afyer we break up, u know ill come running back to u not cause i will feel lonelt or shit but bcuz I KNEW U WERE THE ONE. THE ONE I WANTED TO SPEND MY ENTIRE LIFE WITH. i believe ive done so much more things than any of ur lover has and i was still willing to if u actually lowered ur ego. But nope. U pushed me too far. Too far.

22Aug2017 15:18)

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monsternme0101-blog · 8 years

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He knew what I was...❤🦂

Let me begin this life event by saying this... Since the demise of my marriage, I have become a different person. I call this my "AHA moment." That moment when you sat back and thought to yourself that, you really fucking are going to be okay. After Johnny left, he moved on. We got to where we aren't talking shit anymore. And sometimes have real conversations. Our marriage is over. We loved hard and we loved fierce...but there was more than 2 in that marriage. We used to say "You and me and the devil make 3." I loved that man. So fucking much. I fucked up. We were already cracked, but I was the one that broke us. A stupid decision that I made in a bad part of our lives. I will always always regret it. If it makes a difference Johnny, despite what you think, that killed me too. And in my soul, it scarred me too. Breaking your heart and destroying you, seeing that light go out in your eyes for me, destroyed me. I will never hurt anyone like that again. I am so sorry. I'm glad I had THAT love and I am glad it was you. You're still a fucking dick for the cops shit, having me arrested a couple of times and being an overall evil person. So fuck you for that. Since I left JC, all that shit happened. It hurt. Really fucking bad. I got spun the fuck off. Bad. Really bad. At one point, I was completely hopeless and didn't give a shit anymore. I was done. During this time I heard a story that literally changed my life. A friend of mine, Rita told me a story about a scorpion. 🦂🦂 There was a scorpion on a rock in the middle of a rapidly moving river. The scorpion needed to get to the other side of the river. A man walking on the bank saw the scorpion on the rock and told him he would give him a lift to the other side under one condition. "You can't sting me." He told the scorpion. The scorpion agreed and the man picked him up. When his feet hit the bank on the other side the scorpion stung him. He says to tge scorpion, "You stung me. You've killed me. Why?" The scorpion tells me, "You knew what I was when you picked me up."🦂🦂 I was doing the same thing I had always done knowing I was going to get what I always got. And IDGAF. In came Aaron. Known with friends, Monster. I met him. This guy who has the image of a guy you didn't fuck with. A badass. A G, ya know. Met him at a get together one night. Some other dude walked me there bcuz it was dark so he thought I was with this dude, which, no offense Chad, but no way . He did have kind of a girlfriend, but an odd togetherness..I wasn't a home wrecker. At all. But he knew I was in a situation that I had gotten myself into and needed help to get out. But I'd also not even try. I went over to talk to him, and I let it all out. Every. Single. Honest. Thing. The bad. The worse. He said he would take care of it and told me I could stay with him til he got it taken care of and I never left. He couldn't get rid of me. For the first time in a long fucking time, I felt safe. He made me laugh until I cried. He gave me hope. I had my 'AHA moment'. I didn't want to feel that way anymore and no one was going to fix it for me anymore. I had to decide to get up. And actually do it. I never thought this guy would be my 'thing.' He's not my type. It sounds mean, but he's not. I'm 5'9, so I like tall guys. I like fit guys. I like hiking and camping and stuff like that. Aaron, is 6'4. A large man. He says he's fat, I say he's fluffy :) I like tattoos on guys, but he is a tattoo artist so he is COVERED. Literally, a walking tattoo. Haha. He's also in a wheelchair. And I know, it's not a big deal. It's never made me think any different about him. But it takes adjusting. I have gone from someone who didn't do anything, to someone who acts as his legs and my own. We began this journey on January 1st. When I met him, i could breathe again. He told me I didn't have to act like such a badass. It was okay to let my guard down. And I believed him. I let him in. I'm glad I did. His way of getting around broke. So until it was fixed, he had no way around. We hung out in a California King size bed, all day and all night. (I was 'regrouping' and couldn't even try social shit yet) Just him and I. Just us. We don't watch tv. We don't watch movies. Occasionally we will play a video game, but not often. We just hang out, bullshit, joke around and talk. The Jamie I am now, is different than who I've been and who I was. He made me realize that I did walk away from Jordan's with something. Might not have been sobriety, but with an understanding and respect for my mental issues and addiction problem. I literally found myself in Jordans. No drugs. No alcohol. On my meds. Classes about our addictions and illnesses. Every single day. We had a routine. We had stability. We had church. We had bible study. I was okay. And I left. I left because a stupid boy made me cry. I learned from my marriage. I knew what not to do. I learned. Instead of just hearing it, I actually listened. I was broken. One day, we were bullshitting and I said "Do you know who I am?" He said, "I know what you was." I said something about being just a sad broken girl and he said, "No. You were beautiful." And he was serious. That moment was what made me want to be better. For me so I could be for him. I had been through too much and waded through so much bullshit for being only 33 that I didn't want it anymore. So i literally said FUCK IT and got 100% fucking real. I do not lie. About anything. Ever. Even to save hurt feelings or keep myself out of bullshit. I am honest about who I was and who I am. He met me and picked me up at my absolute worst brokenness, and still loved me. Every single broken piece of me. I told him the scorpion story. I tell him I will fuck up, I will make mistakes, I will make plans that will end in disaster and I will make terrible decisions. But all I can give him is me because that's all I can be. I'm a broken mess. He said he loves the broken parts most because that's the parts that need it. Some days are heavy and weigh on me and I struggle knowing what I've done to some people. Some days, even I barely like me. Those days are the ones he tells me, "Baby, I knew what you were when I picked you up." I don't drink. Okay, I can't say I don't drink at all. But it's very very rarely. And even then, I don't get drunk. I've met that demon that lives inside me. I know what it's capable of. I never want to meet it again. I've learned. I don't do pills. And only Tylenol when desperate. Same hell, different demon. I don't put up with bullshit. Especially when those people are causing the problems that they are bitching about. Those that are around me some and came to me griping have heard me say "a guy walks into a doctor's office and says 'Doc, it hurts when I do this.' Doctor tells him "Then don't do that."" I am that one friend that everyone knows loves them a shit ton. But I will always tell you the honest truth. I wont pity you or feel sorry for you. I am 100% fucking real. No one did it for me and it ain't gonna do no damn good to do it for anyone else either. I'm a good person. I have a good heart and I always have good intentions. I mean no harm to anyone. And people actually tell me that somehow, just being around me, I have made them a better person. I LOVE the little things. The smell of a nice day with a breeze through an open window. Random hilarious texts from my best friend and the raddest bitch I know, Jessica. Rapping every single word to certain songs. Laughing until it hurts. Playing with my dog. Singing to songs all day on Spotify. The way he makes me feel when I catch him looking at me. How he makes me love being a girl. A few months ago, I couldn't see past my pain. Now I am planning a future. With him. Whether he likes it or not. Haha. It's him. He made all the difference. Being with him, I'm am more me than I have been in a really really long time. He is my gasp of air after almost drowning. He saw me drowning and instead of jumping in to save me..he told me to stand the fuck up. I talk alot. I sing terribly. I dance horribly. I am not graceful at all. I have shiny bits of crazy that pop out once in a while. I am never wrong. I'm sarcastic. I'm never serious. I whine....and he still loves me. All of me. He says I never have to worry about being hurt again. He's there to make sure that never happens. And I know he's not lying. He keeps me safe. I keep him wild. I am not worried. I don't worry what people think about me. Or what people hear about me. Or what people say about me..I know who I am. He knows who I am. That's all that matters. If anyone can believe or say terrible things about me, then they don't deserve to know who I really am. It's their loss because I'm fucking awesome. At this moment, I am laying sideways on our bed with my head on his stomach and my feet up on the wall typing this. He didn't know I blog until about a month ago. It's not a secret. I don't hide it. But it's mine. It's my journey. Anyone can read it and if I know you well enough, I might send you a link. But to me, it's just there. Gotta leave a story behind. It might be someone's reason. I don't think it's 'ENGAGED' in a way. More like, " Oh. Finally. There you are. I've been looking for you." I refuse to get another name tattooed on me. So I am getting one word. That can say everything about him that I can't . Serendipity. "Something wonderful that you find when you aren't even expecting it." He is my serendipity. I never forget what I mean to him. He never lets me forget. There are no conditions on love. There are no buts in love. There are no lies in love. Love does not hurt. It got better.

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excessthoughts · 4 years

Text

Static

16DEC20

Have you seen a TV with no cable cord attached, or a radio not tuned to any channel; that sound you hear is called white noise and the display of the TV in that moment is called snow. Both are the visual and acoustic representation of nothingness. That is what my brain is producing or processing right now, or how its responding to my current environment.

Dad had a little fall while coming out of the loo, he's ok, he grabbed on the coat hanger thingy for balance and it broke. He fell on his hip, mom called me immediately, we picked him up and sat him on the bed. He's ok, atleast he says so, no pain or anything, no visible bruises, he's ok I guess. I love my parents, no doubt in it, but.....now that is a post for a other day.

I can't stop thinking about her, literally, I'm not obsessed, I'm in love, whats the difference? Well, obsession is an unhealthy attachment towards something or someone. Usually how that works is that, whenever you attain that thing or person, a normal person would come back to normal and the obsession that was generated by a want or desire is fulfilled. In short like we say in urdu, "ghar ki murghi daal braber". In terms of a thing, like cigarette or a drug, frequent usage leads to addiction which is bad. But what if we apply that to a person? I'm an idiot, not a psychologist, I speak from my experience and the environment that I grew in. Personally, I got addicted to one person in my life, remember that, yup the first time you lost your appetite. That situation was different though, first of all I was like what 22 23, coming from all boys college, and you found a person, no she found you, she gave her number, she was a semester senior, and I didn't in my wildest dreams thought I had a chance with her. But she made it happen, I was ecstatic, those constant texts, compliments, spending time with each other in uni. The smell of her hair, the way she laughed, the way she stood by and with me in front of everyone with absolutely no shame or embarrassment blah blah blah.......for exactly, I dunno exactly but approximately 4 months? 🤣🤣 yeah, I can't believe I kept a fucking blade in my pocket for a week thinking to "end my miserable existence". Bullshit!

The point isssss i wasn't addicted to HER, I was addicted to the concept of her, of a partner, of someone who would unequivocally stand by my side and have your back. I found that in my friends, y'all know who are.

Anyways got, called for dinner, literally one text from her just calms me the fuck down. God what a woman. Literally I don't want to write anymore 🤣

But I also do, I know this blog is not suppose to chronicle my time with her but here goes 🤪

13Dec20

She agrees to go out with me again, I rushed! I was in bed all day wondering if I would see her again, and I did. Had several things to do but I had to meet her as well, thank God for wonderful khalaaad, he had my back, he returned the speakers and got samosas and rolls from wapda 🤣 i really wanted to give her something again, a rose ofcourse and some chocolates, God that smile, when I gave her the goody bag in the end. Ok ok I'm getting ahead of myself. So khalad told me to go to the phase 5 jalasons instead of valencia, that saved me a ton of time, again amazing khalad.

So I had planned that I will take her somewhere a bit quite where we could talk comfortably, last time that ABCD dude next to us was really loud. So I took her to Mocca in valencia, because its roof top is pretty neat. And yes it was cold, and I didn't put a hat on but it was worth every second. God I couldn't stop looking at her, the light from the side, I saw her eyes properly, they were brown and her pupils were dilated which is actually a good sign, and they were so pretty. She has the kindest eyes, they do have a bit of sadness in them, they are kinda like mine, I dunno, God knows what's her story, its crazy how we haven't talked about each other like our pasts and stuff. It baffles me that she doesn't ask any questions about me, and that kinda scares me of asking her direct questions as well.

I feel like she has pretty high walls built up and she's not sure if she should let me in or not. Or maybe she's just, meh, whatever, not really interested in whatever this is, and doesn't really care or she's just waiting for that admission in Germany, and doesn't want me to get hurt. She has to understand that its tooooo late for that, I would've been devastated the same if I hadn't met her after the wedding.

Anyways, so we talked and talked, well she did i just listened to her, and just looked at her 😍😍 this time all we did was talk about work, I honestly can't remember what else we talked about or what I talked about 😅. Well whatever we did it was fun, I felt she was more comfortable this time, and the best part was she said she had to get back by 8 30 but she didn't, only once she looked at the time, and then at the end I had to tell her that its past 9 and then she said let's go. And also i loooved driving with her, I need to get that stupid window fixed i could barely hear her.

So we come back to where her car was parked and as she exited my car I told her to wait im coming and she said I can go my own, but I had to give her the goody bag. So I opened the first passenger door, I placed it on the seat, and she was like noooooo, and for a moment my heart stopped, and I asked is there an issue taking it home she said she has had too many chocolates, and I was like then ration em, my brain just went floopy and I was saying words that I didn't know I was saying. But in texts she said she can survive the roses because I told her she will have to get used to them.

But then I gathered up some courage, and asked her something that had been bothering me, that if she thought if I was depressive and sad person, she said no, which was a huge relief, bcuz I'm not! AND THEN I told her which I wanted to say for quite sometime, that I'm not infatuated by the time we spent together, the first thing I asked bari after the first dance practice was umama ka kya scene hai, and that I'm not fooling around. Btw bari idiot first reply was amna single hai, I was like what, nigga shut up. Anyways, she just kinda laughed and smiled. God that smile! Her smile is like a fucking window to heaven, it melts you in such a weird way, it brightens up the room, it makes me happy, it has that everything is going to be alright feel to it.

I want to say that to her, how I feel, how she makes me feel, she completes me, she is the missing piece, she is perfect, and I want to spend my life and hereafter with her.

But....there is a chance this may not happen,

now that is a thought that keeps me awake at night,

and makes me loose my appetite.

I don't want to go through that again,

That endless pit of agonising pain.

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