#megsober

[soberpeach]

Two weeks ago...

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Two weeks ago I tried to take my life. 

two weeks I’ve had on this planet that I did not want to have. 

In two weeks I’ve realized I need help, serious help. 

I have noticed beauty in each day. I have been grateful for each day. But I have also struggled every single day. 

I’m thankful to still be alive. 

[soberpeach]

Mood - Possible TW just to be safe!

Mental health is kicking my ass lately. I had a slip 39 days into sobriety, and I’m back at 4 days. Learning about my PTSD triggers has been the hardest part of sobriety, but also realizing how deep my BPD also is and how those triggers are huge. 

Figuring out how everything intertwines is just garbage. It all just compiles on top of each other. 

Honesty is how I can keep accountable, with my family, and with myself. 

I’m trying. and that is the hardest part. I wish it could just be easy. 

[soberpeach]

Chip

 I am not in AA for many reasons, one of which I don’t consider myself an alcoholic. I do however have a bad relationship with alcohol. I was given a 24 hour chip two years ago at a meeting, and for me it held more weight than an AA standpoint. To me it celebrates my sobriety, and how long I have been sober. I did not stay sober after that point, however had a better relationship with alcohol for a period of time, however hit my own rock bottom. 

 It also reminds me of my Nana, who was sober for 35 years before she passed away. It reminds me that I’m not alone, and that shes walking beside me in my journey. She would be proud.

With Covid I decided to purchase my own set of chips, 24 hours- through 9 months, I have them hanging where I can see them daily, and I am only going to take them when I reach my milestones.

My One Month milestone was a couple of days ago. So I have been able to hold my One month chip with pride.

To celebrate my one month I was also given a chip from my family. all of which are supportive of me taking steps to heal my mental health. 

This chip is one of my Nanas AA chips, and has her sobriety date from 1979 engraved. 

This is one of the most valuable things ever given to me. and it showed me what sobriety has truly given me. 

Gratitude. for my family, for my loved ones, for each and everyday. 

This is something I will hold dear to my heart for the rest of my life. 

[soberpeach]

3 weeks

consistently sober. Never thought I would last three days. 

Trauma is a wild ride, and I’m ready for it to be over. 

Thankful today for naps.

[soberpeach]

8 weeks sober

57 days to be exact. 

This is the longest I’ve ever been consistently sober. 

Its a battle some days, and other days fly by like nothing.

I’m working on myself and dealing with the trauma that I’ve been so scared of for so long. 

HOLY SHIT

[soberpeach]

I haven’t had tumblr in years, and when I did I had a recovery tumblr.

7.20.2020

Starting new with a new recovery goal - 90 days sober. 

I’m going to keep track of my progress here, as well as seek others in their sobriety journey. 

As of today I am 19 days sober. This is the longest I have been sober continuously in over a year. 

I hit bottom, I realized my unhealthy relationship with alcohol and vowed to change it. I am going to get to 90 days. and then another 90, and then another. 

If anyone can recommend some sober accounts to follow I would be grateful!

Thanks